#sarah irura

[instruth]

Hard Labor And Unfailing Prayers

hard labor and unfailing prayers

they always work well together

hardened hearts to suffer the braves

who strive to overcome, and survive

by the will of the one who creates all

©Johnny J P Lee

07 April 2023

A Gogyoshi Poem (5)

Photos: J. P. Lee

[sarah-irura]

"Plqce for my head"

Is there an actual safe haven? A place to unwind, be free from criticism.... A place to utilize our uniqueness in such a manner that outweighs our flaws, a place where our regrets are no longer a thing, where missteps are only viewed as way to gain wisdom in this vast reality...maybe it's not really a place but rather a community that actually chooses to extend grace to self and others, an act of gratitude from the One whom all life emanates from, if only people can distance themselves from 'self preservation' to a 'thriving community' since walking together, as one, for another, would bring about more positive changes than any segregation based on myriads of human based distinctions.

Sarah. Irura

[dolores-hazy]

15 Questions

I was tagged to answer 15 questions by @strikezilla01 (thanks again!)

1. Are you named after anyone?

My username is a riff on Lolita. My actual name is not nor after any other person, fictional or real.

2. When was the last time you cried?

2 days ago, but only prickling tears of frustration that didn't last long.

3. Do you have kids?

No and I believe having my own is not something for me.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I don't think so.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their mood and vibe I suppose.

6. What’s your eye color?

Grayish blue with yellowish around the pupils.

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

Depends on my mood I guess.

8. Any special talents?

Wouldn't you like to know? 😏

9. Where were you born?

Planet earth. At least that's what I've been told. 😜

10. What are your hobbies?

It seems fantasizing is a big one these days.

11. Do you have any pets?

Affirmative.

12. What sports and activities have/do you play or participate in?

The physical activity I'm really interested in definitely isn't an event in the Olympics. 😅

13. How tall are you?

Tall enough.

14. Favorite subject(s) in school?

Daydreaming and writing angsty teenage poetry I would have been mortified to have anyone read lol.

15. Dream job?

Writing I suppose is it.

Now I tag @apotypocalypse @unexpected-error-occurred @maxpower86 @ending-thoughts @poppiesandpromises @onyxheartbeat @thecoldcoldmountain @sarah-irura and if you reading this want to, consider yourself tagged as well

[unmondefou]

Pass the happy! 🌻🌈 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Thank you @heartofmuse for the tag.

1- Writing is like a vitamin. The words wash away the sadness as they flow onto the paper.

2- Rain, its sound on the window and the smell of wet ground.

3- Cleaning sounds weird right 😅, but I feel good once everything is in order.

4- Being around my family and friends. Time with them is precious.

5- Watching the sunset.

I am tagging:

@alex-a-roman , @silentwindsworld , @just-4-thought , @justafrogandherumbrella , @putah-creek , @sarah-irura , @definegodliness , @denimnan , @dg-fragments , @nikithathampy

of course if you wish, just for fun.😊

[instruth]

Today - Wednesday, 20 July 2022, I am excited, gladdened and honored that Tumblr acknowledges that I have posted 3,000 poems under the name of Instruth, since about 4 years ago.

Thank you for the acknowledgement, Tumblr.

[sarah-irura]

Halfway Right

Does it ever get better?

The negativity swirling inside my head and heart.

I have happy moment, happy memories, then...

I see myself, like really really see myself, for all that I am...

All I've ever been... Blind folds of a relatively comfortable existence ripped off....

Or is it, that the venom spewed has altered my view of self so thoroughly that I can't differentiate what's true and what's false....

I'm half sorrow, half joy, half active, half stagnant, I can't seem to find a middle ground for my state of self....

Am I at least 50% good at being human, a good steward of all blessings that have been bestowed upon me....

And if so, is it okay, that the other half needs re-working or is it part of me that's quite simply unchangeable but manageable.....

I am what I am, a myriad of emotions and feelings that cannot be understood, an errant tide that refuses to be contained....

But what is self, if not a vast ocean to be explored.....

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

"This fear is just a plague, I'm taking back my heart again"

The obvious response to a stark realization, usually months or years in the making, at that point in time we feel strongly about taking the initiative, the responsibility to make proactive changes to self, how long does it take though? For that empowered version of self to dissipate into nothingness? And does it leave any positive changes in that short span of time?or does it leave one with slightly darker shade than before?

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

A labyrinth of passing minutes

Self indulgence,

All day, every day,

Not in improving self but rather,

Sinking deeper into oblivion,

Joy, progress and contentment,

Out my reach,

A little further every day,

Hell bent on remaining as I am,

Or is it that change is hard to achieve,

I am yet to determine whether,

I can actually be better version of self,

Or I am doomed to remain as I am,

A labyrinth of passing minutes,

That only seeks to,

Berate and condemn self,

In hopes that flight or someone,

Will launch me,

From my self made quagmire.

Sarah. Irura

[dolores-hazy]

Happiness Is...

I was tagged by the lovely @sarah-irura to share 5 things that bring happiness to my life. So here goes some of the 5 most tried and true:

My loved ones

Showing them I love them in all the little ways I can.

Feeling sexy and getting inspired by that.

Getting inspired in general really.

And actually having the motivation and time to put that inspiration to use.

[sarah-irura]

People are blind or should I say ignorant to the truths they wish not to see which ultimately becomes the proverbial thorn in their side.

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

Dear diary,

My need for change, though constant, never seems to materialize and yet I am unable to decide whether this version of me is enough to continue hoping for a somewhat blissful existence, my past though a closed door finds ways to sneak back in at unexpected moments, the one thing I'm sure of however is that my existence need to be sole to experience stability and joy and though this decision is unlike what human existence should be, it's the one plausible road I can pave.

It has been said that the journey is more important than the destination, which in my view is a fallacy, the outcome is a total sum of all that you've done to get to that point in time, so I believe instead that the journey is as important as the destination.

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

As the year draws to a close, I can't help but think of the many inconsistencies that plague the human mind, we might be in a positive mood experiencing successes or overcoming struggles and all of sudden something goes wrong, unexpectedly or otherwise and adjustments ought to be made, no matter how hard the present circumstances maybe, we have to keep moving because life goes on, nothing stops to give us a moment to breath or grieve, the fluidity of time does not get punctured but we do hence the need to cultivate mental strength, to get us through hard time, because our loved ones can only do so much.....

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

The mind,

Our greatest asset,

Our greatest liability,

It's a life and death face off,

At least for most us,

It is capable of commendable achievement,

Not without hurdles,

But with hope and perseverance,

It is capable of great despair,

An easily attainable state of mind,

With no other party within but self,

You can very well create an insatiable monster,

Greedy for destruction,

We all have different ways of trying to remain sane,

When the storm inside is raging,

More often than not,

Our problem saving strategies,

Fail at best,

And we are left to pick ourselves up,

At least fragments of self,

That ought to have held us in place,

But alas,

It's a never-ending cycle,

Of destruction and rebuilding.....

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

Fragile....

Oblivion, my constant state of mind, lately, the world, and my purpose in it, seems to be spinning out of my control, my will to live, to continue fighting for a better me seems to be waning faster than I can replenish and although not an uncommon phenomenon, the situation has become dire now, given that the monster within is more lethal than the seemingly now timid monster without, hope is barely within reach and each passing day proves more fatal than the last, teetering on the precipice of a self-made disaster, wishing I could just be erased from existence rather than having to experience emotional anguish over a self that seeks redemption from all that she embodies.

Sarah. Irura

[sarah-irura]

Death...

Callous, untimely, grief-stricken in the eyes of the beholder, yet the subject of the said loss is oblivious at best for we are yet to discover what happens in the after life, different religions offering different accounts.... but one thing is certain, once a life is snuffed out, its presence still lingers be it good or bad.....

While death is a tragedy for most if not all...sometimes it's a permanent escape from harsh reality whether imagined or not, with death, the pain of not rising to expectations, regrets of past decisions, lack of understanding from those we hold dear seemingly come to an end... Or at least that is what it symbolises despite the reality of the suffering experienced by those left behind....

I am yet to discover whether such thoughts, despite the obvious reference, should be kept at bay or embraced in order to appreciate life more, whether continously harbouring them means we are helpless enough to make any positive changes, and what can be done to cultivate positivity in an atmosphere that is dark contrast to hope filled expectancy of a life yet to be experienced.....

Sarah. Irura

[instruth]

GUESS WHO AM I

I am sea, I am sky

Down below, way up high

I’ve no wings but I can fly

I am outspoken, I am shy

Very brave, but I never try

I am true but I can lie

Very honest, but am a spy

Obedient, but I can defy

I am all these, who am I?

WORDS - talks walking by

©Johnny J P Lee

13 March 2021