#sausage case

[hottdoggblogg]

[cactuupng]

Book Of Bill save me, please get released faster

[catboyexorcist]

i made this immediately after jimmy lost in the mcyt sexyman poll so hopefully you can understand the kind of headspace i was in

[astralmlm]

honestly its time for autistic & adhd trans masc positivity. yall motherfuckers are braver than ANY US marine. binders are the ultimate sensory hell and yall be spending ALL DAY! in a binder! every day! in these sausage casing ass scraps of Evil Polyester. fr yall are the goats youre so strong and sexy for surviving this shit keep it going kings

[raster-rest]

please beware

🫱((0))🫲

[muffinlance]

hey hey been reading matching hair tales and uh have you considered: hama adopts scaled zuko?

yknow, for the angst

do you like Hama's new scarf

[ofmermaidstories]

artistic representation of my saturday night (eating hotdogs and playing fallout shelter like the ipad baby i am)

[tubbytarchia]

hi wait i don't want sos smp and i am very confused

is this a c!jimmy thing or are they legit mistreating cc!jimmy over there??

C!Jimmy always!! I only talk about characters on this blog (unless specified otherwise)!! I don't wanna comment on CC!Jimmy, he's an adult man, I trust him to be comfortable and as far as I know he's not bothered and has asked for teasing etc in the past. I only talk about his character but SOS is still particularly painful lol

[xskyll]

I wished on a monkey's paw to be more like Deku. So far, I haven't noticed a change in my bravery, strength, cuteness, intelligence, or sexiness. My joints hurt, though.

[bigmack2go]

Newsies as Things my friend and me have said bc im shocked i haven’t done this yet

Sarah: THIS!

Sarah: *points at tailor doll*

Sarah: this is the reason i‘m into women!

(Sarah *in a whispered sob*: my hand fits her waist so perfectly….)

Race after getting one single question wrong: if you’re alowed to be dumb, so am i

Albert *shocked*: why is there no crossover of „sing“ and „zootopia??“

Albert: i mean—… NOT EVEN A FANFICTION!

Jack: there are very few names that are acceptable for sausage dogs

Jack *clears throat*….

Jack: NUMBER ONE—

Race:*wakes up david from his much needed afternoon nap*

Race: do u ever mix up the feeling of attraction with the one of jealousy???

Les: so if harry potter is an otter—

Les: and ron weasly is a weasle….

Les: whats hermione??

Albert: anyone else ever wonder how it would go if henry danger went to hogwarts?

Davey (in the middle of a conversation about hotdogs or smt): is there a place where you can give emoji suggestions??

Hotshot: what are you doing?

Autistic!Spot *squatting*: i need to make sure these pants don’t give me over sensory issues

Race: i dont get hyperfixations

Albert: you— you litteraly memorised Hamilton

Race: IT WAS TO KEEP MY BRAIN IN FORM

Katherine: why is it, whenever i find someone hot, they get a haircut???

Albert: SHUT UP YOU LITTLE— YOU LITTLE… i can’t think of an insult but imagine something thats really bad just so you know i am in fact very mad

(Race: woah who would have thought i’d live to see the day albert dasilva isn’t able to think of an insult)

Albert: ok but like… the characterbuilding of pawpatrol is like,,, really fucking good

Albert: like that shit deserves an oscar

Spot: did it hurt when you fell—

Race (litterally from down on the floor): when i fell from heaven?

Spot: no when you-

Race: when i fell for you?

Spot: RACE YOU JUST F E L L OF THE STAIRS

Jack: ah where did i put my crutchie?

Jack: GAYS HAS ABYONE SEEN MY CRUTCHIE?

Jack: damnit why do i keep losing i— ahhh there it is!

Elmer: ask for forgiveness, not permission

Hotsot: *sighs exasperated while watching elmer proceed to pull out a baloon sword with a genuinely evil look on his face*

Jack: you ever notice how you can deescalate literally any situation by [doing smt] as long as the situation is right?

Davey: *blinks* what?

Smalls: soooo i think i may or may not have just accidentally invented backwards stealing

Jack: ugh! Nephew, grandson! Wheres the difference, really??

Jack: i just stepped on my painting

Jack: haha! Look at those cute lil paint pawprints on the floor

Jack:

Jack: wait why do my feet make pawshaped pawprints???

Davey: thats it. Im done. I quit.

Elmer: quit what?

Davey:

Davey: life.

Spot: im trying to work on my anger issues

Albert: you literally just punched somebody

Spot: and it made me less angry

Mrs Kirby: buttons what are you doing here? This isn’t your classroom

Buttons (shamelessly): avoiding my teacher hopefully for another….

Buttons (squinting at the clock):

Buttons (happy as ever): 36 minutes!

Graves: my bf is being homophobic

Hotshot: youre single???

Graves: exactly!!

Davey: i may be antisocial but im still a socialist

Albert: spot, if i dropped dead here and now and race wasn’t there to witness that you didn’t murder me, what would you do with my body?

Spot: bold of u to assume I didn’t murder u

Spot: or need race as a witness

Spot: or—

Albert: OKAY I GET IT

Albert *putting on creme-deodorant*:

Jack: is this hair wax you’re putting under your arms???

Albert:…

Albert: yes.

Albert: it blocks the sweat glands.

Jack: *proceeds to go on about a ten minute speech about how tiktok spreads false information and life hacks*

Race: ow ow ow ow

Spot: what?

Race: i put on the wrong glasses

Spot: race w h a t

Albert: im a left handed green eyed ginger and thats not even the worst part—

Race: there are four types of people.

Race: watch.

Race: *shoves crutchie so he falls*

Jack: *gasps and runs to fight race*

Davey: *gasps and runs to help crutchie*

elmer: *gasps and laughs at crutchie*

Albert: *gasps and laughs at race*

Race: see

Race: *the most satisfied hes beenin his life*

No one:

Absolutely no one:

On this entire planet no one:

smalls *giving b i r t h*: ow ouch ow ah- yeah that does in fact hurt, owowow

[pancakejikook]

I am not a shipper but this Tkk and jkk comparison is dumb tbh. Tkk were or never going to be real..tkkrs should just accept it. Jikook at least you can say have a chance in being real. Comparison between them is just so dumb because the difference is so clear. You can see it in subtle things they do if you want to see it. I personally don't think any ship is real though. But i will admit that Jikook has a chance. And I'm also seeing people talking about jk seriously wanting to punch jimin on the ham and pink sausage thing...i don't fully agree on that but i do think it's not what an actual couple would do especially if you consider jimin's reaction to it. He was not Fully happy about it and tae seems to pick up on it too. What are your thoughts?

yeah, that's what I keep saying. comparing tiny individual moments to prove this and that is so pointless when the difference is so stark if you look at the big picture. I just don't get it.

as for your question... I haven't seen the whole episode yet but I've seen clips of it, including the moment you mentioned. I didn't think much of it tbh, looked like regular jikook to me. it's not the first time jk has pretended he's gonna hit jm when he contradicts him, but we all know he would never do it willingly. jm also looked like he was being dramatic for comedic effect, I didn't get the impression he was bothered at all?

[thedo0zyslider]

Stay With Me (For Just A Moment Longer) - 1k words Sausage and Martyn spend a quiet morning together

A03 Link

Sausage wakes up with another Kestrel curled up in his arms. He smiles at the sight, and watches as Martyn, still asleep, snuggles closer to his warmth.

They hadn’t done anything the night before, even if this really looked like they had. Martyn had just gotten wasted, is all, and was apparently a very affectionate drunk. Sausage had just been trying to get the man to bed, and had been cursed to stay and cuddle him. So now here he was, waking up next to the blonde, forced to stay with him all night long. It was terrible for Sausage, truly it was. He didn’t enjoy the cuddling, nope , absolutely not. Martyn being all sleepy wasn’t cute at all.

He pressed a kiss to the blonde’s forehead, brushing the hair out of his face gently. Martyn murmured something and buried his face in Sausage’s chest. He held back a few giggles, not wanting to wake the other, and pressed more kisses to Martyn’s sleeping, peaceful face.

The rest of the base is quiet, and Sausage deduces it must be quite early in the morning. For he can’t hear Oli talking about his wife and how good her cooking was, or Kyle and Scars friendly jabs that she’s a crab over breakfast. The sun is also peeking through the window, so it’s not terribly early, probably just past sunrise.

Morning light is falling on Martyn’s face, making his normally yellow hair shine gold. Sausage feels a fond smile creep onto his face as he admires the other’s features, running his hand idly through more strands of soft blonde hair. Martyn leans into the touch, and there is a warmth bursting in his chest.

He peppers even more kisses to the other, and lazily waits for him to wake up. Maybe Sausage dozes off a little as well, content to just lay there for a few hours longer.

Yet within the next hour the other Kestrel had woken up, to Sausage’s slight disappointment. Now he has to stop kissing martyn, and get out of bed! Which is a shame, because he’s quite comfortable right now.

“Sausage?” Martyn mumbled, yawning a moment later. “Why am I in your bed?”

He smiled, pressing a kiss to the blonde’s nose before speaking. “You got really drunk and demanded cuddles.” Sausage giggled, and Martyn groaned and buried his head against the pillows.

“Hangover?” He asked, and got a noise of confirmation as a response. Sausage felt bad for his fellow, knowing he probably had a splitting headache at the moment. He had to have one really, with the number of drinks he had. At least he hadn’t thrown up, yet . (Sausage did have to wonder exactly what caused Martyn to drink that much, as out of the two of them the brunette was the heavier drink. It’d be a little concerning really, seeing him drink more and more, far more than he could take. The only reason they’d fallen into bed like this was because of Sausage dragging him away from the tavern. Whatever was bothering him had to be serious, and he wanted to help, but was unsure if it was his place to even ask.)

Sausage moved to get out of bed, with the intent to grab stuff that helps with hangovers. But Martyn pulls him back down. “Stay with me, please?” The blonde asked, removing his head from the pillows to give Sausage big ol’ puppy dog eyes.

“I was getting you something to drink, for the hangover.” He huffed, running a hand through Martyn’s locks affectionately. He’s sitting down now, prepared to jump up as soon as the other Kestrel lets go of his arm.

Martyn does not, in fact, let go of his arm. If anything his grip tightens. “But I want cuddles!” He whines, and Sausage just sighs fondly and lets himself be dragged back down. He doesn't want to leave Martyn with a headache, but if the latter’s going to look at him like that, then Sausage doesn’t know how he can protest.

“Fine, but only for you~” He teases, and pressed another kiss into Martyn’s hair. The blonde beams at him, and moves in for a proper, on the mouth kiss. It’s a gentle one, but it’s sweet and leaves a pleasant feeling on his lips when they pull away.

Martyn snuggles up to him again, idly playing with his braid; which he’d forgotten to unbraid before being dragged into bed by a certain someone. It’s become slightly messy and undone as a result, but Martyn doesn’t seem to mind, fiddling with it as he asks more questions about last night. Sausage is very unsurprised that he had no memory of the whole thing.

He answers every question thrown at him, telling a good handful of embarrassing stories from the night prior. Martyn flushes red every time, and laments that he shouldn’t have even drank that much, and that he had no idea what he was thinking in the moment. Sausage feels like that’s a lie, and that Martyn knows why he got so wasted. Hangover or no hangover.

When he asks about it he does so gently, and does not press when the topic is instantly changed. Instead he listens and laughs to how Martyn was going to quest today, but now he can’t, and how he’s getting poorer by the moment. Sausage presses another kiss to his head, and tells him there’s no such thing as a poor Kestrel for the millionth time. And for the millionth time Martyn just mutters something inaudible and rolls his eyes.

He isn’t sure how long they spend like that, just laying there and talking, but by the time they get up the other three Kestrels have risen as well, and Oli’s shrill cry can be heard from downstairs. Martyn winces at how loud they’re being, and Sausage knows he’s going to have to teach one of the loudest factions how to be quiet, or send them out to sea. A few hours of either never hurt anybody anyways. Oh, and he also needs to get Martyn something for that hangover.

Sausage asks what Martyn uses to help with his hangovers, and helps the other man downstairs for breakfast.

[thekingofcrochet]

Also i learned about penis enlargement surgery (how it works and the scummy doctors involved) yesterday and i want every penis haver to know that i love you and your penis is very good the way it is (unless you don’t want it then feel free to yeetus that penus)

[occultdaddy]

When Oli's best friend couldn't remember him he made sure Sausage couldn't forget him again by becoming his step dad.

[lunityviruz]

Dear non-muslims: it is okay to make sausages without pork. I promise you you do not need that lil bit of pork casing/pork bits you won't even taste the difference 😭

[scarlettgauthor]

Let's talk royalties...

Good morning! Who's ready for some infuriating numbers about audiobook sales?

In December I released His Secret Illuminations as an audiobook, after over six months of production that I paid for out of pocket. I released it on my website, through Findaway Voices, and on Audible. We're going to talk about the last one.

I just got my Audible earnings report and payout for the December sales of said audiobook. I sold 15 copies & made $186.98 in net sales. Sounds pretty good, right?

Hahahaha, it only sounds good. My actual royalties were $46.75. All the rest of that money went into Amazon's pockets.

I knew my Audible royalties would be pathetic going in, but I made the personal and political choice to do a non-exclusive release through Audible so I could sell my book elsewhere and do my tiny part to break their monopoly. (A non-exclusive release through Audible means I make 25% of the cover price in royalties instead of 40%.) I couldn't not release this book on Audible for the same reasons I couldn't not release the paperback and ebooks on Amazon: That's where people buy books. They own the market, and it sucks!

I understand why people buy through Audible, and I'm not blaming the consumer... But if those 15 sales had happened through my website? I would have made $348.45. Can you see what a difference that is for a self-published author who's working toward going full-time with writing? Can you see how that's better compensation for someone who has to do every single part of the process herself?

I would like to once again say, with my whole chest: Fuck Audible.

Anyway, here's my website if you want it: https://scarlettgaleauthor.com/shop