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kariachi · 6 months

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Guess what I've been working on all damn day- fic! 4500 words of a day in Kwarrel's childhood.

Warning: A good part of why he ended up where he did is because of abuse in the family, extended and otherwise, so...

He was comfortable. The mattress just hard enough, his position perfect, Jaja curled up on his belly. Any sunlight coming in the window hadn’t made it all the way to his bed, and with the electric lights still off slipping back into sleep was as easy as

“Suthryen!” A sharp kick to his leg jolted his eyes open, glaring slow death at Ungyov.

“Give me collarfoot why don’t you,” he hissed, their voices low enough to not wake their younger siblings. She just gave him a nasty smile.

“That’s an idea, then you can spend all your days with Grandpa.” His frown twisted at the thought. “Get up, you heard Dad, he wants you to go to the garden.”

“Yeah, I heard him.” Swinging a hand in her direction, still too groggy to put in the effort to get a proper hit in, he glared at her back as she rolled her eyes and walked away. Once she’d returned to her bed and began getting herself ready for the day, he heaved a sigh and slowly sat up. Jaja croaked his aggravation at all the disturbances, but didn’t fight as he was lifted up and set back down on the mattress. “I don’t like this any more than you do, grandfather.”

The old prout didn’t go back to sleep, giving a long stretch and settling in to chew at claws and greying scales as his favored owner cracked open the chest at the foot of his bed and blindly yanked out a shirt and pair of pants. He didn’t even bother to get out of bed to dress, shucking and replacing pajamas while sat there. His sister’s wadded pajamas nearly nailed him when he rolled onto his back to swap pants, only taking as much care as needed not to squish Jaja.

“Nobody needs that on display.”

“I have to look at your face all day, you can look at my butt for a minute.” Rolling back into a sitting position, he grabbed the pajamas and threw them back at her, giving a little huff when she dodged. Between her narrowed eyes and frown, he could tell she wanted to stomp her feet at him, and smirked at the knowledge she wouldn’t risk waking the others.

The bathroom was large enough for them to not be falling over each other as they washed their faces, brushed their teeth, tended manes. One of the benefits of being the oldest at home was only having to share with each other in the early morning hours, and while they stood as far apart as they could, it didn’t stop them savoring the peace and space for as long as they could get away with it.

As long as he could get away with it. While Ungyov fiddled with makeup she wasn’t supposed to have for another year, he made his way down the hall with Jaja at his heels. Passed the children’s room, passed winter storage, to slip inside the adults’ rooms. He was careful as he opened the door, and rewarded for that caution by the sight of his eldest grandmother and youngest brother still asleep in their respective beds. Quietly, he made a straight path through and to his father and grandfather’s room. Setting Jaja on his father’s bed, he grabbed the basket from it’s hook, the key to the garden from its hiding place, and used the latter to slip out the door into the courtyard.

Without a thought his legs carried him to the rimih shed, the long-legged things flapping their wings and giving chattering calls as they rushed from out among the lush blue foliage to crowd around his ankles.

“I know, I know, bright morning to you too,” he said, finally able to speak normal as he did a quick headcount. Satisfied everyone was there, he hooked up the water faucet against the shed and turned it on. Either his father or grandfather would come out after breakfast to shut it off again, when the system had watered the plants that needed it daily and filled the rimih’s trough with it clean and fresh. Some of the flock split off, attracted by the flow of water, but the rest continued to crowd as he rounded the coop to the feed bin. There were only so many pests in the garden, even in midsummer, with the drain leading out passed the house and the open sky above it, and so he made sure the scoop of dried meat scraps he cast out onto the ground for them was heaping. With them suitable distracted, he was able to slip inside the shed and grab the morning’s eggs without having to kick anybody aside.

After that it was a simple matter of walking around the garden and grabbing things for breakfast. Some leafy greens, some fresh fruit. It was past the season for the good flowers, or for green twigs, but he grabbed a few handfuls that hadn’t turned all woody yet, and snuck a few late blooms for himself since no one was there to see. A large squash that seemed ready to go was contemplated before being cut from its vine with his pocket knife. A final look around the courtyard, the child-painted walls and well-loved plants, pulled him towards one of the berry bushes. His grandfather’s favorite, he cut free a small branch heavy with fruit and dropped it into the basket before picking up the squash and heading inside.

“Morning Su.”

“Suthryen.”

“Morning.” Shoulders tense, he nodded to his father and grandfather as he entered the kitchen, Jaja trailing behind, taking in the scent of breakfast cooking. The smell of roasting tubers, squash, spices and herbs, were a balm after making his way through the living area. After the admonishments one of his mothers had given him from where the women and Ungyov watched the news for grabbing the squash when it was too late in the morning to cook it properly for breakfast.

“A nice selection,” his father said with a smile as Suthryen set the squash on the counter and held up the basket for inspection. The eggs in particular seemed tiny in his large hands as he moved them onto the counter, alongside the greens. “Could you peel the good parts from these twigs and pit some fruit for the kids?”

Something in his gut leapt and roiled all at once at not being in that group, but he nodded with a “Yes, sir” as he picked a spot out of the way of the proper cooking going on. The fruits would be quick, only a few needed pitting, so he stacked the twigs on the counter in front of him to start with. Pocketknife in hand, he began to shave the parts soft enough to chew into a pile, proust curled up on his feet. Easy, methodical work, and he was a good chunk of the way through before his grandfather dropped a hot pan loaded with a variety of thin sliced tubers not far from him. He couldn’t help but jump at the clatter, turning to face the old man’s frown.

“You still can’t peel twigs right?” Stepping aside, ignoring Jaja’s croaking, Suthryen put up no resistance in spite of the burning in his gut as twig and knife were all but snatched from his hands. In a single, smooth motion his grandfather peeled a long, curling strip away, a sharp contrast to the shorter, irregular strips he’d managed. Even with aging joints he finished the twig quickly and easily, all but slamming the knife on the counter when he was done. “It’s not difficult.”

“Buxun,” his father cut in in a tone closer to pleading, “he’s still young.”

“He,” his grandfather said with a huff, “is already twelve. Nearly a man and he can’t even peel twigs.” He ground his teeth against his temper as the old man shook his head. “You keep coddling your boys like this and they’re going to be useless in the caravans. Why do you think the older two haven’t been back? Shunted off to some other group at the first chance, I’d bet money.”

As if anyone would come back. He was sure his older brothers had gone as far as they could as soon as they could, just as he planned to do once his fifteenth came. Still, he wasn’t quite fool enough yet to speak his mind, or give in and kick his grandfather’s cane out from under him, merely retrieving his knife and returning to his work, trying his best to get to long strips that were expected of him.

A quick glance at his father showed him turned silently back to the stove.

His younger siblings were playing when he went to get them ready for the day, but quickly fell in line once he walked in. Toys were put away, clothes changed, faces and hands washed, teeth and manes brushed. Zimily was still favoring his wrist, and rushed to steal Maine’s seat when they arrived for breakfast. There was a hushed argument between the two before a grandmother growled at them to both sit down.

Suthryen couldn’t bring himself to do much more than roll his eyes as Maine settled into their brother’s normal seat beside him. So Zimi was avoiding him, maybe now he’d finally learn not to mess with his stuff.

Breakfast was normal. A puree with nut butter for the grandparents and little Naeigyn, and with caramelized nuts for the rest of the family. The youngest also got to share in the soft-cooked eggs with greens, though his came with cheese. All the children got cheese, dense blocks that showed no sign of having melted during frying and that squeaked under knife and between teeth, from Maine all the way to Ungyov, who face screwed up at the sight of it.

“I’m grown enough,” she griped, “I don’t need dairy anymore.” As she said it, she pushed the platter down closer to the younger children, earning a glare from one of their mothers.

“You are a child,” she said in a tone that brooked no argument, “and a skinny one at that.” Standing, she reached down the table to spear a block and drop in intently onto Ungyov’s plate. “You need to put on weight, or are you intending your sister and cousins to put in all the work charming a man?” Though she continued to frown, she hunched her shoulders and turned back to her plate, listlessly piling twig shavings and roasted tubers like it might hide the offending product.

“No, ma’am.”

A normal breakfast of the adults and Ungyov talking about the news and weather and plans for the day while the younger children discussed what school would hold and Suthryen kept an eye on his siblings and a hand on the prout in his lap lead into everyone who would leave the house gathering their things. School books, work gloves, hats, and a pack lunch for Muhnea’s mother specifically, who didn’t intend to come home for the meal. Everything he would need, a few things his younger siblings would need, and a few leftover pieces of fruit made their way into his pockets before the front door opened like a floodgate and the family spilled out onto the street.

While their mothers headed towards the river, he and his siblings headed for the next neighborhood over. School beckoned, whether they liked it or not. Opinions varied wildly, even just in their own household, nonetheless as they started acquiring cousins. All the herd’s school-aged children, all heading in the same direction to the same location.

“Kwarrel!” A weight lifted off his shoulders as Ausom stumbled to a stop at his side, punching his shoulder as he did. Taking a quick look around found Fadesi not far behind, herding two of his own younger siblings to catch up.

“Hey,” he called as he reached them, his own little herd joining Suthryen’s as both his older cousins jostled him. “What are the chances by maths teacher died overnight.”

“Probably pretty low,” Suthryen said, patting his shoulder in consolation.

“I don’t want to take this test,” Fadesi groaned. “I couldn’t even study last night, it was chaos at home!” Suthryen nodded his understanding, he only had five siblings at home, but poor Fadesi had seven, including another toddler and a sister too young for school, and you could tell their mothers were siblings. Ausom, meanwhile, just grinned at them, checking to see if anyone was paying attention before shuffling a few steps closer to them.

“So, you’d be happy to skip with me then?” The other boys were quiet for a moment.

“What did you do?” Huffing, Ausom pulled himself up straight and stared them down. It didn’t really work.

“I didn’t do anything,” he declared, then relaxed, leaning in again. “My sister was part of that mine inspection, and she says they might have found some decent veins the last herd left behind.” Eyes going wide, Suthryen and Fadesi went from keeping at least one eye on their younger siblings to giving their cousin their full attention.

“And?”

“And it’s still not guarded yet,” he continued. “If there’s some good gems in there we could make our own beads.” A tempting argument, as they walked along with wooden beads and simple embroidery on their clothes. For all their herd primarily made beads the vast majority of the nice ones- out of gems and metal pulled out of the river and off the mountain- were sold to neighboring herds and passing caravans. The very idea of having something so fancy was enough to have Suthryen fingering the patterns along his shirt’s hem.

“Are you sure nobody is watching it,” Fadesi asked, and Ausom nodded.

“Yeah! They’re still arguing about whether it’s worth the effort!” He checked again, still grinning. “Nobody’s paying attention, we slip off, fill our pockets, and we’ll be set!” Slip off- Suthryen looked at the rest of the crowd, his younger siblings, then shared a look with Fadesi. Ausom’s older brother hadn’t left yet, but they were the oldest boys at home and they knew exactly what would happen if they left their younger siblings to walk without them.

“We’ll go when we get to the school,” Suthryen said, full of the knowledge that Fadesi was young enough to argue with and he was big enough not to. Face falling, Ausom groaned.

“Seriously?”

“We’d to be able to walk to school tomorrow,” Fadesi added, and between the two of them Ausom huffed, but didn’t push the matter.

“When are we going to get our own school, anyway,” he grumbled. “I’m sick of walking to a whole other neighborhood just so somebody else’s aunts can tell me what to do.”

“Acuni’s working on that, isn’t she,” Fadesi asked, turning to Suthryen, who nodded.

“Yeah, once she done in school she’s gonna be a teacher.” Huffing, Ausom rolled his eyes and got a hard sock to the arm for it. Nobody outside the household got to roll their eyes at his siblings.

“I don’t think one teacher’s going to do much,” he said, rubbing what would surely be a bruise as he stepped away from Suthryen and his glare. “What would we even do with just one?”

“Teach the boys at least,” Faderi said. “Grandmother Miehu hates that we keep having to leave the neighborhood, calls it ‘bachelor behavior’.” All three of them huffed at that, Suthryen kicking harshly at the dirt beneath his feet.

“Almost want to go to class now.”

As planned, while everyone else was heading into the school the three of them held back and slipped away, backtracking for home and beyond it to the mine. Quite the long walk, easily four, five times longer than just getting to school in the first place, but perfectly manageable for three young boys with adventure and small riches in front of them. Manageable and worth it to be stood in front of the big opening to the mine, fiddling with the lock on the fence. How had none of them come prepared for a lock? How had Ausom not come prepared for a lock?

“How long is this going to take,” Faderi asked, leaning against the fence while Ausom continued to fail at breaking in. Suthryen was in the process of looking around the area, maybe find another way inside. “Kwarrel and I need to be back at the school before lunch.”

“It’s not my fault you guys are scared,” Ausom said, throwing a glare at Faderi and ignoring their cousin hefting a large rock. “If you’re that worried then leave, I’m getting in here.” Glaring, Faderi pulled himself up and started-

“Hey!!”

The other boys started and turned in time for Ausom to throw himself away from the fence and barely out of the way of Suthryen slamming a rock against the lock with as much force as he could manage. In shocked silence the two watched him yank and fiddle with the old pieces of metal attaching it to the fencing, sheered mostly free from the blow. With only a few minutes forcing he’d managed to work them off, tossing the whole set to the side, pinging it off the rock. He shoved the door open, heading inside with a purposeful gait as Faderi collected himself and chased after.

“Kwarrel,” he said, “you could have taken Ausom’s head off!”

“I warned him.”

“A little more next time, please.” Rolling his eyes at the pleading, Suthryen continued like he hadn’t heard.

“You broke my knife,” Ausom called as he ran in, glaring when Suthryen turned around.

“What, worried,” he asked, meeting him glare for glare. “I have places to be.” For a long minute they continued glaring before Ausom tore his gaze away, digging in his pocket and pulling out a flashlight.

“I’m the one with the light, idiot,” he said, shoving his way to the front of the trio and starting further into the mine. Suthryen glared and snarled after him, Faderi slipping in between him as they followed his silhouette against the light.

The mine itself was large and old, with electric lights they didn’t even try to turn on running along the ceiling and an old cart track to one side. It also had more twists and turns than they had expected. None of them knew anything about mines, not really, and while they and many others had found ways inside over the years, they themselves had never gone very deep. There was a brief huddled discussion of how to deal with all the offshoot tunnels before they came to a general agreement to stick to the left wall going in and then the right coming out. Following the walls led them deeper and deeper into the mountainside, down various turns and crossroads.

They chatted as they went, voices low to avoid echoes that made the mine seem deeper and fuller than it was. About school, shows, games, siblings, cousins, plans for the future. Not that there were a lot of options on that last one, it was ‘stay with the caravans’ or ‘marry and raise kids’ really, but enough for a discussion and friendly teasing. Assurances that it was a good thing Faderi wasn’t interested in finding wives because he was too ugly to find decent ones. It was during this teasing, just before Faderi started kicking people, that Ausom caught a glint of something at one of the walls.

"What is it,” Suthryen asked as the three of them crowded around small patch of yellow crystals, eyes darting between the stones and Ausom. The other boy looked it over intently, handing the flashlight off to Suthryen as he motioned for Faderi’s pocketknife. With an effort that had it’s owner cringing, he used it to pry a crystal loose for better inspection.

“It is… andalusite,” he declared with all the confidence of someone who shouldn’t have been so confident, but was surrounded by people who somehow knew less than him, and so could get away with it. The others ‘ooo’ed appropriately, and since Faderi was knifeless, Suthryen handed him the flashlight while he pulled out his own. Together, he and Ausom set to work on the cluster of crystals with their knives and the occasional nearby rock.

While far from experts, between the two of them they managed a solid handful of little yellow stones that Faderi counted out into three equal piles as they went. They were downright tiny things, but still the boys took several minutes twisting them back and forth in the light to watch them shine and talking about where they would use them once they’d made them into proper beads. It was the topic of the walk back, a fun and fitting distraction as each walked with a hand on the right wall. Everything was success and laughter as they were briefly left blind stepping out into the light of the mid-afternoon sun.

Faderi and Suthryen froze.

“Masus ihrere sirs-!!”

They made sure to get back to the school before lessons ended for the day, and walked their younger siblings home like good older brothers, tense as springs and back ramrod straight all the while.

Suthryen’s grandmothers’ response when he got home still wasn’t for polite company.

The rimih weren’t quite stupid enough to be underfoot and Jaja was staying curled up under a shrub when his father found him in the garden, storming circles around the place in leu of tearing up paving stones and heaving them at the walls. His appearance at the door raised his hackles, just then when he wanted- Not to lick his wounds, to throw things and fight people, but his grandparents, his mothers, were all bigger and outnumbered him. If they hadn't-

“Su.” Suthryen stopped, fists clenched, as his father spoke. Long strides brought him to his side, meeting his glower with a frown and putting a cool, damp cloth to the swelling under his eye. It wasn’t the only place he was hurt, or would have bruises come morning, but he still couldn’t help but lean his head, just barely, against it. Setting a hand carefully on his shoulder, his father heaved a sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

He bit his tongue, held back the urge to say he’d do what he always did, what he’d done in the front room. Nothing. That there was nothing to him but empty pleas and inaction. Instead, he kept his mouth shut, jaw clenched on the side that didn’t ache.

“First all the fighting, then the temper with your siblings, and now you’re running off, some days I’d swear you’re trying to get into trouble.” The words brought tears he wouldn’t let fall to his eyes, the idea that his own father- Heaving another sigh, he pulled Suthryen into a tight hug. “At least promise me you won’t go into the mines again. You boys could have gotten hurt, or trapped, and we may never have found out.”

Suthryen trembled with anger, hurt, but eventually gave a slow nod. It seemed to pull a weight from his father’s shoulders, and when he pulled away he just seemed sad. Pathetic even.

“I think,” he said, “it’s probably best your mothers don’t see you again today.” Somehow tensing even further, Suthryen gave an unfortunate nod, even as his father stroked his mane. “How about, you go run yourself a bath, and I’ll bring you dinner later. Alright?” With something that felt like regret and felt like relief, Suthryen stepped out of his reach.

“Alright.”

It was the first time in at least weeks, possibly months, that he got the bathroom to himself for more than a few minutes at a time, and Suthryen made sure to take full advantage. Drawing a nearly scalding bath, topping the water up every time it started to chill, and doing his best to relax into the heat. Especially when the yelling started at the other end of the house, not loud enough to hear but enough for Jaja to hop onto the edge of the tub where he could easily pull him into the water with him. His mothers, one of his grandmothers, little Naeigyn started sobbing at one point, a sound that travelled through the house as he was taken to the relative quiet of their parents’ quarters.

For not the first or the last time in his childhood, he was happy to be able to just pack up and go to his room rather than join everyone for dinner.

His father managed to slip in about two hours after the screaming stopped, ostensibly making his way to replace the basket in his room, and hand off a plate loaded down with two meals worth of leftovers.

“Don’t worry about getting the plate back,” he said as Suthryen stared down at the pile with mixed emotions. “I’ll handle it tomorrow.” Slowly, he nodded.

“Thanks, Dad.” His father smiled at him.

“No problem, Su. Sleep well.”

He watched the door as he slipped away, listening for the sound of his feet on brick, and the silence of nobody following. Only once he was sure he would stay alone did he tear into his food like someone who hadn’t eaten since mid-morning.

“Are you still up?”

Hours later, Suthryen started as Ungyov walked into the room, shutting off his flashlight on instinct. Logically he knew there was nothing wrong in what he was doing, thumbing through a book for growing boys he’d inherited from his older brothers, but it’d begun feeling otherwise in the past several months. As she crossed to her bed in the dark, he stowed it away in his chest and pulled his pajamas back out. She was allowed to be up over an hour longer than him and he knew from experience she wouldn’t let up until he was all tucked in at least.

“I’m just supposed to be in bed,” he said as he started changing, “the rules don’t say anything about sleeping.”

“Intent of the law, not the letter.” Other than his responding huff and the annoyed croaking of Jaja, poor old thing just couldn’t get sleep in, the room fell into a comfortable quiet. At least until Suthryen was getting his pants changed.

“You know, you won’t be able to get away with that in the caravans.”

“What do you know about the caravans?”

“That even they expect you to be civilized.” With the sound of her falling back onto her mattress, he threw a rude gesture across the room and tried to settle in himself. The space filled with the quiet shuffling of blankets and pillows, clink of a plate under a pillow knocking against tiling, the croak of a prout being picked up and set in his normal place on his owner’s belly. Stroking the animal’s back, Suthryen took and released a deep breath, eyes sliding shut.

“Hey.” Not bothering to open his eyes again- wasn’t she the one who wanted him sleeping? sisters... -he just made a curious, annoyed noise. “Are you okay?” That was all it took to make him go still, letting the words sink in and through.

“Yeah,” he lied.

“Good.” There was a hint of relief to her voice, more shuffling of covers. “Night.” Another deep breath, this time with a wobble he hoped she couldn’t hear.

“Night.”

#fanfic #kwarrel #his childhood was not happy overall #also for anyone wondering it was not andalusite #it was scapolite

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