#schrodinger hellsing

[amoeba219]

My attempt at Schrödinger from Hellsing 😺

[hellsing-shitposts-r-us]

"No little german catboy, don't cut off your head and feed your blood to the vampire Alucard!"

Schrödinger: "Oh mein Gott, zees vampir has magical foodenpöisenenn"

[pebblezone]

Took 30 years to get there!

[mondonguita]

Hellsing fanart by mgong520

[valentines-wh0re]

Some things i drew on a white board with friends—

[sammyaf-art]

The worst part of being a Hellsing fan is Kouta Hirano made these complex, interesting villains with awesome designs, and then they're all nazis so I can't babygirlify any of them.

[ghoulietbat]

doodles and sketches plus a hardass pochita someone asked me to draw

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Okay so the text of Hellsing makes it pretty clear that Alucard's wanton disrespect of Seras and his refusal to call her by her name was 100% because after becoming a vampire, she didn't drink anyone's blood; when she actually did so, he immediately triumphantly announced her name.

So here's my headcanon for a quarter-century-old manga: part of Alucard's attitude towards Seras is because she's basically a freeloader. In Hellsing, when a vampire kills someone by drinking their blood, they also basically consume the victim's soul and life force in the process, and the number of souls a vampire contains determines how powerful they are. Alucard is That Powerful because he has so many people's souls inside of him on account of being Straight-Up Actual Dracula. Seras Victoria, by contrast, is a failwoman even by regular vampire standards because she has zero people's souls inside her. She was only "alive" because she was mooching off her bloodsugar-daddy's life force.

Thus, it's a good thing she ate the merc-dude well before Alucard got dinged by Schro, because if she hadn't done so, he probably would've had to kill her soul in addition to all the others in the process of escaping from Schrodinger's Catboy's Paradoxical Hell-Dimension. So, uh, she kinda dodged a bullet there, too.

[skeletonfumes]

Hellsing Ultimate (2006-2012)

[cry-ptidd]

Me and my sister watched Hellsing together. Here's her opinion on the characters

- Alucard: "He's a cunt, but he's entertaining. I'd probably pay to see him in a strip club. I didn't like him and his shit-eating grin and 'master' bullshit at first, but he grew on me quick and i don't like that he grew on me. He's a complex character, and he's hot asf when he cries. Also I wish we'd seen his Dracula form for longer; that was awesome. Him and Anderson had a thing going on."

- Seras: "Didn't really mind her at first, but liked her after she drank blood. Her transformation and the guns are really fucking cool. I didn't like her voice and her whining at first but it got better after a few episodes. I like her when her personality became a little bit more spunky. Her story's fucked up."

- Integra: "Absolute bad bitch. Her attitude reminds me of myself so idk if I should like it or hate it, she's got a lot of pride which I respect. Really human and I like it, she takes no one's shit and she's a badass. Didn't even FLINCH when she got her eye shot out. Girlboss. She gives me ace vibes also."

- Walter: "I liked him, he was funny. And then he betrayed everyone and became emo. He gave good advice, and he was cool as hell with that wise older veteran vibe. I'm disappointed in him, but the plot twist was actually good. You'd notice the signs if you suspected him from the beginning."

- Pip: "He's FINE. I'd braid his hair any day. I was in love and then I mourned. I'm widowed. He was hilarious, plus his voice actor nailed the French. My favorite character. Screeched when he came back. He's a good leader and I loved his speeches, also his death made me cry. And I don't often cry when watching anime."

- Anderson: "kinda neutral. I didn't like him at first, he was obnoxious as fuck. Then he respected women and opposed Maxwell and his orders so he grew in my esteem a bit. His character is cool as fuck tho. I wish he didn't turn into a monster, he fell to the same level as Alucard. It's like human greed or desperation for power. Him and Alucard had a thing going on."

- Enrico Maxwell: "Lucius Malfoy. I hate him but not the one I hate most."

- Heinkel & Yumie: "Really like these two lesbians. So cool and I respect their resolve, especially Heinkel's. Rip Yumi. You were cool. Heinkel being intersex is a dope detail, she's very androgynous too. I like their designs."

- The major: "Augustus Gloop? I like the fact he refused vampirism, that was cool, but he's an actual fucking sociopath and I hate him"

- The Captain: "Ngl, I actually find him quite dope, aside from the nazi thing. Literally no one respected him, that shit had me crying. His face is pretty and his tits are big, even if he looks a bit goofy at times. Wish we'd seen more of him. I felt kinda bad when he got defeated."

- Schrödinger: "I want this thing dead"

- Rip van winkle: "She gives me the vibes of a Dr Seuss character."

- Zorin: "Bleach Ichigo knockoff. Fuck this bitch in particular I hate her"

- The Valentine brothers: "A slav squat necrophile and his gay brother that used to be a runway model but got cancelled after a scandal"

Overall: A hit, neither of us expected her to like it. She likes the political and literary aspects, and also finds the characters interesting. She doesn't really know how to feel about the ending; she considers it realistic and a good end, but she wished it was more epic. But from a writing perspective it's good. Also she lowkey wished Alucard would turn Integra into a vampire, just because it would be cool. Now we send each other memes about it. She calls Nendocard a whore when she passes by him, but says she'd buy a Pip nendo in a heartbeat

[moliathh]

Meowlucard

[east-side-militia]

Millennium headcanons: One thing they never shared with anyone

The major: Cannibalized a dead soldier's arm once. They weren't even out of food and desparate or anything, he just wanted to know how it tastes.

The doctor: Went out drinking once, blacked out and woke up with his septum pierced. He hasn't been out drinking since

The captain: Is perfectly capable of learning german and speaking, he just doesn't want to.

Rip Van Winkle: Insists she only likes opera and classical music, but likes jazz too. No one must ever know.

Zorin Blitz: Knows all of the things in the list because she likes snooping around in people's memories.

Schrodinger: Actually hates anime but has to be quiet about it because his loser fathers would disown him.

Jan Valentine: Is the one who pierced Dok's septum. It was a dare by Luke that earned him 5 dollars and a cig.

Tubalcain Alhambra: Everyone assumes he's an older gentleman, but his appearence is mostly the result of bad habits. In other words, physically he's 28 but looks 40.

Luke Valentine: Has successfully infiltrated several conspiracy groups (flat earth, fake moon landing, chemtrails etc.) for shits and giggles, but actually became quite notorious in the scene.

[hellsing-shitposts-r-us]

Schrödinger from Hellsing and Honey from Ouran Highschool Hostclub are similar to me, like they're a part of the same niche, does anyone else see this or am I a broken person?

[da-shrimping-station]

was thinking about my annual Hellsing Ultimate rewatch and i remembered Schrodinger exists

he adorable i wanna punt him and i wanna shoot his head off like Integra did anyways i wanna put him in a room with (Obey Me) Satan and see how that goes

[nuclearforest]

Crack Millennium headcanons because nothing is serious and they all deserve to be mocked like the fools they are:

Major Montana Max: an idol stan. His fav is Love Live and his fav generation is Mu's. He has multiple instances of the rhythm game app and has spent literal houses worth of money to win his favorite gacha pulls.

Doc: runs the anime bathtub wiki and can identify anime girls by their feet.

Captain: probably has an OnlyFans or influencer level Instagram where he works out and sells his bath water to fund all his furry commissions because all of Millennium's funding goes to Montana's gacha addiction.

Zorin: is a reigning champion on the hit reality TV show Naked and Afraid. She has almost killed and eaten her partners because they were useless and she didn't want to see a dick for a month.

Rip: is a Disney adult. Her room is stuffed with merch and when Frozen comes out everybody in the base learns the words to Let It Go.

Schrodinger: is given access to the equivalents of those 1950s chemistry kits and has a copy of the anarchists cookbook. He's about halfway through all the recipes.

Jan: is The Man to consult on dick pic composition. Surprising understanding of lighting, pose, and frame content. Regularly consults with the Captain on how to maximize thirst traps.

Luke: most definitely catfishes people on dating apps as a hobby. His longest running is an LDR going on 2 years.

Tubalcain: has a thing for cougars. Regularly goes out to his local casinos to pick up old tourists and get pampered for the night.

Bonus Dark Walter: goes to various slam poetry nights exclusively to dunk on the poets. He has an Oxford education and does nothing with it beyond being a Mean Girl to the point he's regularly kicked out if venues. His own edgy ass poetry is surprisingly good.

[vermont-writes-fanfic]

How They Like to Cuddle Part 2

Rip Van Winkle:

She personally likes any position that she can hug you in. She is very affectionate towards you and tends to get a little bored after sitting around. You normally cuddle at the end of a very long day and have her as the little spoon, she loves the feeling of her favourite person holding her after a long day! She'll complain and ask to move but will pout if you let her go. On the other hand, if she is in the mood for cuddles she will not let you go at all. It will start at any time in the day, she'll simply seal you away and make you cuddle with her all day or until she's had enough. When she wants them the two of you assume the positions of the spoon in which you are the little spoon and she is big.

Jan Valentine:

Jan is also a very hyper man but loves having you by his side, he especially loves your touch. He typically keeps you on his lap and has his hands firmly planted on your ass. On his off day when he doesn't feel too good or he's pissed off because Luke scolded him for having fun, he'll come to you and the two of you will cuddle. He likes to be on his knees hugging your waist while he lays his head against your chest and listens to your heartbeat.

Luke Valentine:

It's hard to get him to settle down with you and cuddle because he takes his job more seriously than his brother does. The times when you do get to cuddle he can't seem to get enough, he steps off his high horse and begs you to cuddle him or really to just spend time with him. He'll open his arms wide and kiss your neck softly as you stay in this warm embrace, it takes a while before he gets in bed and most times it won't happen. Since he's a vampire he works all day and night.

The Captain:

The Captain is nothing but a gentle giant when it comes to you, because of his superhuman abilities he is too scared to actually let himself hold you at all. Instead of him holding you, you hold him, and he will slide down low on the bed and rest his face on your chest while that, or if you really insist he will hold you close to him. Your face turned to look at him, hands gently placed against his chest as he plays with your hair.

The Major:

The Major initially thinks that it is a waste of time, why would he cuddle his beloved when he could be planning another war or waging against multiple countries? When you finally manage to get him to stop and drag him to your private chambers for some relaxation, he finds that this is the best thing he can do with his time...besides waging war. He gets many devious ideas when he is laying with you so he will occasionally come and lay with you for a few hours while he tries to get over his creative block. You sit in his lap and rest your head against his chest, he will occasionally give you kisses if you stay still or give him good advice.

Schrodinger:

This scornful energetic kitty loves cuddling with you, he definitely prefers you over The Major. Besides, you are much more entertaining than the kitty's boss. He likes to lay on you, his head on your chest, body splayed out on top of you. When you are on the move in a place he can't just lay on top of you, he will rest his head on your lap silently requesting that you let him between his ears.

Tubalcain Alhambra:

He is one arrogant mother fucker so he never takes any small position, point, blank period. He holds you and even carries you around nearly everywhere you or he goes. Not much to say when it comes to him, he is the big spoon, he is at the bottom of the snuggle pile, and he is the one holding you close. This is more because he needs to keep you safe, he loves you too much to let you get hurt.

The Doctor:

I am genuinely surprised you kept him out of his work long enough for him to consider the thought, let alone to actually lay down with you. You're his first so he is a little awkward when it comes to doing anything so domestic like cuddling. He is very basic, he just spoons you and lets you relax in his arms, he feels rather embarrassed when you hold him but he supposes it's a little nice to get away from his work.

Zorin Blitz:

Zorin is the type to pin you down in bed, she'll lay on you or hold you in a tomb-like hug while you lay on your side. She knows exactly what you need at any specific time so she very happily obliges, all she wants is for there to be a smile on your face. She can get a little antsy but if you haven't had enough time with her, she just picks you up and lets you hug her from behind while she carries you around.

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