#scorpi.fic

[scorpiwrites]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐞 | 𝑎 𝐽𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑃𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑢𝑑𝑒

"Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything."

—C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

or,

when the past catches up.

James would never forget how the air got knocked out of him as he tried to control his breathing.

He could hear the faint exclamation of his friends, he could make out a blurry red figure in front of him, Lily. But he couldn't focus, he couldn't stop heaving as his mind tried to make sense of what he was feeling. His eyes frantically shift from one person to the other, not one of them shows any signs of grief, not any of them showed any signs of remorse, for what is worth grieving for a snake, right?

And with that thought in his head, not another second left that he jumped from his seat and stormed out of the room leaving behind the pity looks that his friends are exchanging.

James ran,

He didn't think that it would be good if he decided to apparate. He didn't know where to go.

He just knew that he had to leave that place.

The rain started to pour as he moved, he could feel that it was getting harder for him to move forward, it was getting harder for him to raise his feet. He tried to take another step but ended up tripping on his wet robes. He didn't stop his body as he fell, feeling the way his shoulder caught the brunt of his fall as he lay on his back in the middle of the road in the place he didn't recognize.

He didn't know when he started crying, but as he lay there under the rain, he could feel how ragged his breath is and how his hands shook. He felt like his lung has caved in on themselves, leaving him heaving, gasping for oxygen that he sorely needed.

He didn’t understand it. Why does the news of her death affect him so much? Why does it matter?

Why does she matter?

With all of those questions in his head, he didn’t register the startling crack that echoed in the cold of the night, nor did the hand that was closely followed by a voice, coaxing him out of his head.

“-es?…. Please don’t shut us out. Tell us what happened, please?”

He choked out a scoff. He could feel how Lily stilled for a moment, then he felt her hands helping him to sit up, and only then did he realize that she wasn’t alone, Sirius stood behind her with an odd look on his face, a pensive look, which he rarely used.

“It was her, wasn’t it, Prongs?” He inquired quietly, gray eyes shining through the pouring rain.

Lily tilted her head at them, silently wondering what had happened, and who the girl was to both of them. Though she was dying to ask, she shoved her questions down her throat in order to calm James down, which was more important at the time, rather than anything else. So she decided to keep rubbing his back as she felt his breaths grow even. She knew that she would get her answers but now is totally not the time. Not when they are all freezing on their arses in the middle of nowhere.

“I- Padfoot I…” He spluttered out an answer, quite incoherently, and that was enough for Lily to drew the line, so she stopped him and move her gaze to Sirius who was still staring absentmindedly “Sirius, I need you to get Jamie home, please. This is not the place to discuss… whatever this is, further. He needs to be warm first. This could wait” she spoke to him with an undertone of authority that he didn’t want to cross, not tonight. So he just nod and do as she asked him to, quickly grabbing James and apparating away, leaving her alone. She puffed out a breath and decided to apparate back to the Headquarter, wanting to inform Dumbledore and the rest of them that they had found James and now is currently at home with Sirius.

" The intel was proved to be true, Headmaster. We found one body on the scene, it was of Ms. L/N. It’s safe to say that whatever else in that missive would be true, especially if the parchment was soaked with veritaserum at the beginning. There’s no point in denying its truth "

He couldn't get those words out of his head. It sounded like a broken record that Sirius traded away to the pawnshop on one of their last summer days, it felt like a long time ago. All those water fights on his mother's garden, the barbeque night, the bonfire that his father made so high that it almost reached the second floor of their manor.

But he knew if he squinted hard enough, he focused hard enough on his memories he could also picture the smiles, her waves of laughter, and her happy shrieks as he chased her around the park that they found on their date on Muggle London. He could feel the vibration of her laughter resonating through her chest to his back as he piggybacked her home. He could still feel how her magic rolled out in waves when she felt strong emotions, and how they joked about being an occlumens was never her forte.

Countless days he spent with her that summer and how easy it was for him to break the spell.

"Oh! You two are together then? Good fo-"

"What? No, Lily-Flower!! You know that you're the only one for me!!!"

James' mind was going into a spiral. He desperately held onto the memories of her smile and laughter, refusing to accept that she had died. Refusing the fact that he was the one who broke her.

Refusing the fact that he had humiliated her all those years ago.

Refusing the fact that she sacrificed herself for his safety after what he did to her.

He slowly got pulled out of his head again by the sounds of arguing between Sirius and Remus.

“-need to do something, Sirius! He's basically unresponsive!"

"Yeah maybe that's what happened when you found out a person bloody sacrificed themself for you, yeah? Fucking hell Moo-"

"DON'T YOU 'FUCKING HELL MOONS' ME! I Don't even-"

"Look, you're not the only one who doesn't know shits, alright? I know only bits and pieces of her but I don't know the full story"

"Does Lily know?"

"Does Lily know about what, exactly boys?" asked a feminine voice.

James tried so hard to strain his hearing to listen to them but it all seemed to be buzzing, and he felt as if every sense of his being became numb. He could feel their eyes on his every move. He wanted to, he needed to know what happened to him. He could feel how his brain works so fast, how his brain tried to remember the bits of conversation that he heard in the meeting before he fled.

Why?

Why her…?

"...took his place!"

"You-Know-Who killed her?"

"Did she really sacrifice herself for him?"

"Were they even close?"

"That Y/N? isn't she a Slytherin?"

" For the greater good."

"I thought you loved me James…."

Then it all went black for James.

tag : @scandalous-chaos

[scorpiwrites]

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑢𝑠 𝐿𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑛 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

Desc : Reader was in a secret relationship with Remus during the war, but secrets were bound to be revealed.

Warning : Reader was in Gred n Forge's year so, legal age gap I guess. Brief mention of canon death, angst my best friend lol. Cheating, and all that. Oh and I made this in like 30 mins so there's that.

Note : no hate to my beloved Dora bc she doesn't know anything :( Ok but sorry for the lack of fight lmao I was listening to a sad playlist while doing this so- AND SORRY FOR MISTAKES THIS IS UNEDITED.

Tag : @scandalous-chaos

The old house creaked as she opened the front door.

It felt as if it was welcoming her with it's old age, but the same warmth it gave her years ago. She gave the house a small greeting under her breath, while silently asking herself about her sanity.

The dust flew everywhere as the breeze swept them off of every surface the wind carres. With no Kreacher to take care of everything, and no more Black Heir magik to devote itself to, it looks as if 12 Grimmauld Place has slowly wilted in its place.

She carefully traced the little scratches here and there that littered the wooden panels of the walls while her feet unconsciously took her to the entrance of the library.

She paused, when she realized where she stood and slowly lifted her right hand to open the knob. So as the library door was carefully opened by a lone figure of Y/N L/N, she swore that even a library never felt so suffocating before, but this one was different.

The 12 Grimmauld Place library kept a tight lid secret that she had with Remus.

As she slowly stepped inside the room, she couldn't help but to tear up as the memories flooded her brain. The memories of his laugh, memories of his warmth, memories of his gentle voice.

But most of all,

The bittersweet memories of their last night in this place.

Grimmauld Place Library, 1997

The silent night's serenity was broken by the brisk footsteps that echoed throughout the empty house. Said footsteps were walking to the direction of the library where a lone figure was seated, her back towards the door.

When Remus got her patronus, he was frantic because he hadn't heard from her for weeks before she finally contacted him. He was worried she died, so when she sent a word to him it didn't cross his mind that she would be bearing grave news.

As he slammed the door open, he immediately rushed to her side and took her hand to his,

" Y/N/N where have you been?? I was worried sick, there's no letters, no floo calls, no patronus. What happened?" he implored, frantically trying to find anything in her empty gaze.

The only response she gave to him was a piece of parchment that she slipped to his hand. He tried to ask her more, ask what it means, why she didn't talk, why she's just so distant to him. She just shrugged her shoulders and her gaze was solely bored into the parchment, he knew he could see the resentment that she had but he was so afraid to see what was inside.

She was adamant she wanted to tell him that she knew through the evidence, but he so stubbornly forgotten the piece of parchment existed and just begged her to say what was going on with her,

"You know, when you said that you wanted to keep us a secret I said yes because I didn't think that anyone would accept us so easily seeing our huge age difference, Remus. Was that the truth?"

He balked at her words, more so at her tone. He scrambled his brain trying to find the right response when she suddenly continued.

" Or was it just a scheme to keep us in silence as opposed to your relationship with Nymphadora?"

He stopped then,

He stared at her, guilt began to invade his irises. There are words that he wanted to say to her, that he wanted to let her know, words that not quite justifies his actions. Months of preparing that he had to someday face the consequences of his actions,

but he didn't think that it would be like this.

She scoffed at his face, the burning pain that she felt after she saw her findings on the spy's hideout turned to ash and was replaced by searing rage that was pulsing through her veins. The audacity of this man to use her like a doll and leave her to have a domestic disgusting life with another makes her wanted to ruin him, makes her want to see his blood on her hands.

But she knew,

She knew that she couldn't.

Not when there's a baby on the way.

She had lived that life. She knew what would happen at the end. The father was gone, then the mother would put the kid up for adoption because she just couldn't bear the pain and suffering of raising a child alone. She just couldn't take it anymore and the child would grow up in an orphanage, if they're lucky. Or perhaps got very very lucky and ended up with a very nice family, instead of a dingy and those shitty families that only adopt for the sake of the money.

Oh she would know every scenarios of it,

She was one of them before she know about magic in her life.

"You know, Remus. It's fine. I made peace with the fact that not only did you cheat on me. You're also having a baby on the way. Which I'm happy for you, of course-"

Remus who was still quiet suddenly sat upright and tried to reach her, to which she responded to with an abrupt departure from the couch they were seating on,

" Stop."

That was when her voice broke. He couldn't help but to try to reach her again but to no avail, she just kept staring at him with her hollow eyes that were filled with tears.

"P-please just don't say an-anything. I'm just here to tell you that," she paused to gather herself.

He could see how she was shaking. How she was trying to hold herself upright. He desperately wanted to tell her that it was all a mistake, it was all a mistake and that he was sorry. That it didn't mean he didn't love her, because he did. He loved her.

But he just nodded at her and that alone was enough prompt for her to continue,

"I just wanted you to know that I expect you to not do the same mistake that you did to me. I expect you to be there for her, for your baby. I expect you to be a responsible father to them. And a loving man to Nymphadora."

She then stepped towards him who was still seated on the couch, then she crouched in front of him while looking into his eyes.

" I have no idea where I went wrong. I have no idea where I hurt you so much that you had to go to her for reprieve from me. But I want you to know that I don't need your words right now. I don't need your excuses anymore, I just want you to know that I forgive you, Remus John. And quite frankly, I don't even know if I will be able to stop loving you. "

She kissed his forehead then, and silently vanished to the cold air of the library.

She didn't know it right then, but it was the last time she would ever talk to Remus again. For the next time she saw him was as Hagrid laid him down in one of the makeshift body bag, next to his deceased wife, Nymphadora Lupin on the ground of the great hall, a year after the last time she saw him.

It took everything in her not to run to his body and begged him to come back. Begged him not to go, and to just stay there with her. But she knew that she had a job to do and she can't afford to stop now, even if it was to grief a friend. So she turned her back and ran to the woods to follow Harry.

Now here she is, 5 years after the war, back in London to attend a yearly celebration that marks the end of the war. She was still the same Y/N as before. Still preferred to lurk through the shadows, still preferred dark chocolate to milk, and still kept her heart for the only one love of her lives, Remus Lupin.

The only difference is that she's now a mother of one Teddy Lupin. The son of the lover who betrayed her, the son of the lover who left her, the son that she didn't know she would love harder than life itself,

her beloved godson.

☼︎𝒇𝒊𝒏☼︎

[scorpiwrites]

𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬

Author note : hullo!! So I just want to set things straight (HA!) for this oneshot. In here, reader is a muggleborn Slytherin in Harry's year. She's very close to Harry, and they both see each other as siblings. And..... #siriuslives. Sorry y'all I love the man I can't just let him ded. The Horcrux hunt would be the 4 of them, Sirius Remus Reader and Harry. So, fuck the canon. We need closure for our brave man Regulus.

Tw : talks about rough times, brief mentions of suicide, brief mention of torture, use of y/n, drowning, very dialogue heavy ( mostly a speech)

Disclaimer : no pairings on this one

Tags : @scandalous-chaos

The danger really just settles in the second they stepped into the cave.

The strong aroma of burnt flesh and ashes infiltrated their nostrils to the point where it really gets too hard to breathe. The four of them then start to heavily wheeze, trying to cough out all the ashes that they've inhaled, just realizing that they had just inhaled tons of cremated remains of an army of inferi. Harry had already told them about his last romp with Dumbledore before their trip to the cave. They had decided that even though they already got the Locket, there must've been something there that could give them a clue on how to open said locket.

Y/N was so busy trying to breathe without inhaling the ashes, that she didn't register the fact that she was standing on the edge of loose rocks. When she was about to cast a bubblehead charm for herself, she shifted her body weight which triggered the stones to crumble beneath her and took her with their fall into the cold waters that surrounds them.

It was like those slow-motion movements that she saw in the muggle tv, she decided.

There was nothing to catch on, nothing to hold on to, you just fell,

And suddenly the cold washed over you like a blanket of cold Christmas eve nights she spent outside her orphanage when she was nothing but a child. It was cold,

But it was welcoming.

She tried to swim, tried to at least force herself to get out of the water, but it was suffocating. It was suffocating and she didn’t know which way was up. She kept thrashing around in the water that it felt like forever, though it was only a couple of minutes.

It didn’t even register to her that somebody jumped into the water for her. It didn't register in her brain that she was being dragged into the secluded area where she could feel her feet touching the rough patches of the cave’s bottom underneath the waters.

When Remus got her out of the water she couldn’t stop shaking. Whether it was because of the cold or the shock, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she needed to feel grounded, she just wanted to get out of there,

She desperately needed to get back home.

She could hear how Sirius and Remus argued that they should leave the place already, but she knew that deep inside them they knew that they had to do this. They’re already in the cave and there’s no way in hell they’re gonna come back to this wretched place. She could feel how Harry frantically searched the bottomless bag for extra blankets to warm her up even after he cast the drying spell.

Her eyes were searching. She knew that going there was a must, not only did they need to know where the real Horcrux was, but they also needed to find some clue as to where the others were located. And, if she had other intentions to go into that cave then at least it wouldn’t be for a while that she had to address it to the group.

As her heartbeat skyrocketed through the roof of the cave, her eyes tried to steadily search through the shallow grounds around her, eyes straining to take all around her, trying to find Him.

Until……

"Pads, isn't th-"

"That's a Hogwarts robe"

That's where her heart stopped.

Not caring about the slippery grounds underneath her she flailed around trying to reach where Sirius pointed. Sirius was quick on her heels as he grabbed around her waist and lifted her. She tried so hard to get out of his grasp, only to feel another presence in front and beside her.

"Little dove, hey, hey shhh look at me, shhh shhh look at me"

She couldn't tell, whether it's because of the dimness of the place or because she herself isn't as focused, she couldn't tell who it was, but she felt how they held her. She could feel that she was in an embrace, but she did not know how to respond, her heart still beating faster than normal. She could only lean her head to them. And forced herself to slow down.

As she felt herself stopped trembling and started to focus again, she could tell that it was Sirius who hoisted her up as now she was half sprawled on his lap, as Remus and Harry were investigating the lone Hogwarts Robe. She felt as Sirius slowly rubbed her back while she quietly sniffled in his hold.

"What happened, Dove? You really scared us earlier. What do you know, hm?" he croaked out from above her. She could only clenched his damp dress shirt in her fist, knowing that there's no way she's going to tell him here. But as she about to answer the pounding question Sirius gave her, she was cut off by a shout from Remus,

"Pads, Petal! I think you should see this"

It was then when she walked with her hand tightly in Sirius' grasp that she knew, this is it. This is where the truth came out. This is where they'll know everything.

And as they saw a familiar glimmering of a prefect pin, with a 'SLYTHERIN PREFECT OF 1979' engraved on it, they stopped. It felt like everything just fell into place. The reveal of the giant question mark about the letter and initial couldn't be more dramatic. It was then that Y/n could breathe again.

And it was also at that moment, they knew that it was the remnants of Regulus Arcturus Black.

They decided to do a little funeral for Regulus. It was not a formal affair, mind you, given that they're in the middle of war so they have to be very quiet about the occasion. There was a bit of an argument about the burial site. Sirius wanted Regulus in his empty grave, where there was already a headstone of his name from a funeral many many years ago. But Remus argued against him, telling him that The Black's ancestral cemetery was too exposed, and not to mention the wards around the place would definitely alert the remaining Black Children, namely Narcissa and Bellatrix, which is dangerous.

Then came Harry's input of doing the funeral ceremony in Godric's Hollow. A suggestion that was met with sorrowful silence from Sirius and Remus. But Harry was very adamant to go to Godric's Hollow, so the decision was taken very prematurely as he already apparated himself out of the cave, leaving behind three perplexed figures on his dust.

So here they are, in the middle of the night, trying to prepare the funeral as quietly as possible in fear of waking up the locals. A well casted notice-me-not charm already in place when they apparate there, the works of Harry.

Y/N walked slowly to the conjured casket of Regulus Black. Each step she took with trepidation makes her slightly wobbly, prompting Sirius to try to stabilize her, which she reciprocates with a wave of her hand and a tight-lipped smile in his general direction to gestures that she's alright.

Her hand fiddles with the hem of her long sleeves, nervous as to how Sirius would react to the information she's about to divulge. Nervous as to what Remus and Harry would say about what she almost did. The shame made a tight knot coiled in her stomach, and she could feel the lump on her throat just wanting to suffocate her further. But she just closed her eyes and starts to recite the words that has been wound up in her head for years,

" Toujours pur,"

She could hear a hitch of breath coming from Sirius. Her hands were shaking greatly but she tried to swallow her sobs in order to say the written words out loud.

"Cela a toujours été la vérité. Pur de cœur, pur d'âme, pur de magie. Le sang n'a jamais été le problème, mon ciel nocturne. Restez fidèle à votre cœur et croyez que notre magie vous guidera toujours."

She then stopped. Taking a trembling breath, she clenched her fists hard, leaving behind crescent indentations on the palm of her hands, " Callidora Longbottom nee Black wrote it once on her last Grimoire. I found them in the depths of the private library that I found—that I was led to. At first, it was really confusing, I thought it was a misleading passage that has more meaning than blatant words that were written down in the pages, but then again, I think I understand her reasoning for slipping this passage within her other muggle scathing passages on her last grimoire” she paused to gather her thoughts and breaths, eyes trained to her clenched fists as she was too afraid to raise her head and face Sirius.

“That was one of the reasons I was so afraid t-to tell anyone.” Sirius could feel her shuddering breath from afar. He was shocked, of course. He thought that all of his family members–sans Andromeda–were just mindless bloodpurists that tried so hard to maintain their pureblood decorum to actually live their lives. But here he is, listening to one of his pups reciting the damning words from one of his ancestor’s grimoires. He never thought that he would ever hear those words– even more so from his ancestor–but now that he knew, then at least it was all worth something in the end. He knew that petal was probably afraid of facing him, but he knew deep in his heart that he would never– COULD NEVER– condemn her for this.

“I was trying to get more passages. Trying to look for more pieces of evidence. Trying to find something that could help us in the long run, something profound that we could show the world and probably plant the seeds of change in the purebloods communities” She blew out a large breath, she knew that this is just a far-fetched dream like any other of hers, but she’s willing to die trying, if not for herself then for Sirius. For her family.

Trying to steel herself to keep going on, she then cleared her throat and closed the parchment that she held onto because this time the words are ringing in her head to finally be spoken " Uhm... Hi Mr. Regulus. I-i, " Y/N had to stop for a second and let out the breath that she didn't know she was holding in " Uhm, sorry. I know that we don't know each other. We literally lived and existed in different lifetimes, and different lives too. But I just had to get this off of my chest.

There was a time in my life that I felt like everything was just… too much for me. And it hurts. I was just a kid, I didn't even do anything wrong. It was just too much for me that I even contemplated jumping off of the astronomy tower that night in my third year." She stopped for a second and tried to occlude her mind so she could finish the speech that she's been holding since the day that she found out about Regulus Black and his existence to her. She could hear how Harry was struggling to breathe by her confession, and how Remus was holding Sirius and Harry back from marching to reach her.

" I remember that night as clearly as I remember the events that happened just this morning. It was a cold night in November, just during Thanksgiving dinner. I had seen the chance of slipping out of the confinement of the broom cupboard they held me in and I ran straight to the astronomy tower, knowing exactly what I wanted to do. But as I arrived there, I could see a wispy figure of a huge lion. It was standing by the railings, making all thoughts of jumping over quickly vanish from my head. And I remember how the wispy lion gestured me to follow him. And follow him I did. I followed him to a room in a secret alcove that was located in..... Oh well, let's— let's keep it between me and the lion, hm?"

She tried to chuckle, tried to relieve them all from the tenseness that she could see from the way they stood there, listening to her.

"When I walked inside, I could see hundreds of books that were encased in very pretty woodworks. It was a huge bookcase that covered the entire side of the room. And there are few documents and photos across the study there. And as I was about to take one look at the book I started to realize something, everything was labeled with "the property of RAB". And I didn't know, I didn't know back then who you were, I didn't. So I came back every day just to clean up the space, to make sure that everything was secure, and as time passed I made it a home.

My home."

She stopped to fiddle with a worn letter that looked as if it was already the hundredth time she played with it. She lifted up her right hand that's been twitching and put it over what was left of where Regulus' heart was supposed to be.

"And it was then, in my 5th year, that I found the courage to ask Severus about a lion patroni when he taught me about the charm. It was then that I found out about you, Regulus Arcturus Black, the boy who had a great lion Patronus"

Her body shook hard, trying to repress the sobs that were threatening to spill out of her lips. She then took a deep breath in order to control her breathing to finish her eulogy.

"And it was also then, that I found out about the one who saved my life, that night on the astronomy tower. It was you, Regulus Arcturus Black”

She took in a sharp breath. She could feel how her body shook with every ragged breath she took in, she was so focused on controlling her magic that she didn’t realize that Sirius was tugging her away. She trembled then, shaking her head repeatedly as little babbles of “no’s” streamed out of her mouth when she felt someone was dragging her away from the casket.

Remus and Harry felt a little useless as they watched how broken both of them looked. They knew that this was important to them both, this is the turning point for Y/N and Sirius. Regulus was the catalyst. They saw as Sirius dragged Y/N into his arms, holding her close while whispering a litany of comforting words he struggled to compose for her.

“M not done, not done please m not done…” he heard her mumble into his robes. Sirius wanted this to be over. He wanted this to be over so that he could scream, he wanted to rage, he wanted to hate his brother. It would all be easier, so so much easier to just hate him. But then he peered down at the witch in his arms, felt her body shake with how much she cried, how she doesn’t want this to end just yet, he knew that she was hanging by the thread… And he knew that he wouldn't just leave her to do this on her own. He too, realized that deep down, he needed this. Both of them needed this closure.

Mr. Regulus, I-i... I would like to thank you for saving me. I've no idea why I've no idea how... But somehow, you were there, and you stopped me from— yo-you stopped me... I hope you finally find peace, wherever it is you ended up at. I wish you well, I wish you happiness, and I wish you peace in the afterlife.

Thank you, Mr. Regulus"

And it was then, minutes after she finished her speech that she just realized that she was crying in earnest, in the arms of Sirius. And it was the night that both of them grieved. They grieved for lost chances. They grieved for lost hopes. They grieved for the lost Black, for the boy who didn't have enough time.

The one that saved them both but they couldn't save him in return.

Both of them stayed there for a long time, both trying to reassure the other, and trying to hold each other up, not to fall into the pit of despair that guilt might pull them into, leaving Remus and Harry to complete the burial of Regulus’ body and to finish the funeral.

After the funeral, Harry suggested to Remus that maybe it would be best if they stayed there a little longer, for Y/N and Sirius’ sake, who were still huddled in front of Regulus’s grave when Remus’ head suddenly snapped in the direction of the houses, where he could see someone, just standing in the middle of the road and staring at them from afar.

Well, that can’t be good.

Passage :

Toujours pur. Cela a toujours été la vérité. Pur de cœur, pur d'âme, pur de magie. Le sang n'a jamais été le problème, mon ciel nocturne. Restez fidèle à votre cœur et croyez que notre magie vous guidera toujours.

Translation :

Always pure. It has always been the truth. Pure in heart, pure in soul, pure in magic. Blood was never the problem, my night skies. Stay true to your heart and believe that our magic will always guide you.

[scorpiwrites]

𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 | 𝑆𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑢𝑠 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

Desc : You just got back from a business trip and got an unpleasant surprise from your fiance.

Tw : cheating, curse words, well- angst.

It was quiet when she came home from her business trip from the Gringgots in Paris.

With a resigned and tired sigh she walk quietly through her and Sirius' apartment of 4 years. She walked pass the kitchen and paused, tilting her head to the side and smiled to herself. 'hm, I remember when Siri and I bought that pan' then as fast as the thought came, the smile vanished from her face and was replaced by a frown. 'Where's he? I thought I told him I'd be home today... must be a long day work, then' she then walk towards their room and planned on preparing a dinner for both her and Sirius.

-----------

Another hour came and gone, and still no words or news came to her. She started to get agitated and nervous, she knew that the war is still building up and Sirius' job as an auror doesn't even helping her anxiety about him getting injured, or worse...

She sighed, deciding to put the food on stasis and warming spell, instead of letting it goes to waste. She thought that perhaps it was a mission, an order mission, and so she left it alone and decided to go to their joined bedroom to sleep it off. 'Perhaps I should wait for tomorrow comes, if there aren't any news still then I can contact one of the marauders'

-----------

She woke up when she heard giggles, woman's giggles. She blearly tries to navigate her eyes through the dark and waiting for her ears to finally works because, that sure as hell wasn't in my dreams. what the fuck?. When she didn't hear anything else she began to get suspicious and crept outside to the living room, only to find her Sirius, her fiance liplocked with another witch.

And there it is again, the fault in their stars, perhaps it wasn't her fault at all, she thought. Maybe, just maybe, this is not working as well as we thought it would be. But Merlin, seeing it with her own eyes really fucking made it all too real.

-----------

"what the fuck is this, then?"

the couple on the coach then jumped off of each other and tried to hastily made themselves presentable, what with their clothes already scattered across the living room's floor. Meanwhile she just stood there, unblinking with unshed tears in her eyes, trying so hard to occlude her mind as to not lashing out at them with the wand that was clutched so hard in her palm.

"I-I'm Sorry.... I should leave, Oh God I'm really sorry, you know. He told me that he's single, I swear I d-didn't know o-oh Merlin" the unnamed girl stammered as she drunkenly stood in front of her, staring shakily at her wand.

The lady in question just scoffed and raised her right eyebrow, causing the shaking woman to jerkily scramble towards the door and snatched her heels off the floor, slamming the door on her way outside and leaving her and Sirius alone in their apartment.

" y' not gonna say anything, then? No hello's no apologises, no nothing. What the fuck is wrong with you Sirius? What is wrong with us? where did we go wrong? GODDAMNIT JUST SAY SOMETHING!" she thundered after few minutes of silence from the man that still sat on the couch, staring blankly at the fire.

She walked shakily towards him, she then knelt on the couch beside him and finally shed the tears that started to blur her vision,

"S-sirius, please just, please just say something. J-Just lie to me. I don't care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again. Please please I-I can't oh god" she gasped through her sobs and her heaving.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve this. Don't deserve any of the shits I've done to you. Y'know, y'know huh -" he slurred, " Moony still waiting for you, y'know. I-I dont want this I dont. Maybe yo-" his speech was cut off with a sharp slap that rang through the room.

"How-how dare you? J-just get out, Sirius. Get out. I can't deal with this right now, I cant" she gasped out and shakily walk to her room.

" I'm sorry my love"

☼︎𝒇𝒊𝒏☼︎

[scorpiwrites]

𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐷𝑎𝑑!𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑢𝑠 𝐿𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑛 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

p.s I hate myself for this

Warning : angst, my grammar lmao, death, blood, curse words, kinda gore, its bloody sad, uh i made a curse i guess.

A little note : this is kinda rushed, idk i just wanna put some backstory there and it came out so rushed LMAO SORRY <3 oh, and I kinda... Made a new curse(?) I based it off of Sev's sectumsempra with a little (lots) of help from gtranslate.

Sectum : to cut open

Argenteus : woven in silver

I still remember that day like it was just hours ago. 

I still remember the burn on my muscle as I pushed myself to run, 

still remember Harry screamed my name to duck, seconds before a green hex flew over my head, 

still remembered the cracks of apparations as the member of The Order came to our rescue. 

 And of course, I still remember the way I held him close as he bleed,

I still remember the day that my father died. 

 And it was all my fault.

-----------------

When I first met him, I felt this little tug in my chest, didn't exactly know what it was, not until it was too late anyways. Months passed, the little tug in my chest grew to be affections, affections that I held towards him. No, no I know what you are all thinking, but no there was no lust in it, there was no attractions, nothing like that. It was as if I was looking out for my kin. It was insane, I am an orphan, after all, so I thought that it was just me yearning towards the aspect of family, the aspect of having a father so I just shrugged it off.

But then, came that night.

As you know, there are certain ingredients in potioneering world that could only work if they were picked during the full moon. Well, one of them is Fluxweed, the key ingredient to make a polyjuice. And coincidentally, the only place that you could obtain it in Hogwarts is on.... well- it's on the whomping willow. Behind the root, just a little to the left of the tree to be specific.

That day was... heavy, for you. It was your birthday, but of course, being a muggleborn in the house of royal and proper, what could possibly go wrong, right? To those blood-purists who knew that it was your day, they took it as a sign to triplefold their torments towards you. And the peak of it all was in potions, sure you know that Professor Snape was doing all he could to support you, but being in his position as a spy in this war, he could only do so much for you. The potion class that day ended up in disaster that was clustered around you, and ended up with him ordering you to fetch the Fluxweed that were wasted.

That night was supposed to end fairly quickly, just there to fetch some patches of Fluxweed and it should've been finished in around 5-10 minutes, but then when I was walking my way towards the castle, I heard it. The canine whimpers from the roots of the willow. As stupid as it sounds, I can't help myself but to get closer to the sound. And I swear to this day it was probably the most frightening yet comical moments I have ever had.

So it goes like, I went down the root, which was actually a bloody hallway- dingy, cold, and smelly- hallway but then I realized that it was a passageway towards the Shrieking Shack and I didn't really think about anything else but to follow the sound, so I did. When I got to the trapdoor, I realized it was warded ( probably for a good thing ) so I went and took them down and when the last number was on the place, the trapdoor bursts towards me and all I can feel is that I was falling and there was this giant fur wrapped around my body, as if it was protecting me from the fall, and then everything went black.

When I woke up the next morning, I was slumped down on a dingy old mattress and then I noticed Professor Lupin sitting on a settee on the other side of the room. That was when I really look at him, the scars, the gaunt looking face, the tattered clothes. He was a werewolf.

And after that night, it was like there was some kind of agreement between us, that we should hide the pack bond, the family bond that we have from anyone else lest they decided to use it to hurt them. that we have from anyone else lest they decided to use it to hurt them.

----------------

That day started as normal as any other days in Hogwarts.

Since it was a Hogsmeade weekend, I was preparing myself for a regular meet up I had with Remus. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be a bloody time to relax, I know that. But bloody hell there are no other competent professor to taught DADA ffs so yeah I arranged meetings over meetings with Professor Lupin for him to tutor me.

So here we are back in my room, getting ready for a tutor session with Remus in his childhood home in Wales, which was just a portkey away if you're careful.

As I arrived in his house, I can almost feel the excitement prickling under my skin of the concept of spending the day away with him, with my pack, my father. I walked down the familiar path towards the house that you adore so just because of it's warmth that could calm you even though it was an old one that were never really got renovated. When I finally stepped my foot in the house, Remus burst out of his room and herded me back outside.

" Wait, what's going on? Aren't you gonna teach me more today? Is there a change of plan?" I bombarded him with questions but his eyebrows just furrowed more down his forehead so I decided to be silent and do as he says.

" There's an attack in Hogwarts, I just got a patronus from Harry saying that I should come quick and inform the others" he answered briskly and I had no chance of getting away from my shock as he wrapped his arms around my body to apparate us back to Hogwarts.

When we popped out into existence once more, the beautiful view of the forest side of his home in Wales changed into the burning glory of Hogsmeade. It was raining fire everywhere and I cant help but inched closer to Remus who grabbed both of my shoulders and place me in front of him,

" Listen to me love, I gotta get out there and hold them back as much as I could, okay? You go on and help the others evacuate the village. Alright, Dove?" you knew that it wasn't a request, nor it was a question. It was an order of the highest position in their pack hierarchy, it was the alpha who was ordering his cub to protect themselves. You really wanted to say no, but there was an explosion nearby and just like that, he kissed your forehead goodbye and said, "I'll see you when this is all over, alright little dove? Stay safe" and he's gone.

As he let me go, I snapped back into reality and I transformed my training clothes into the dragonhide armor that Remus got me last christmas. As I ran around a shop I could make out a silhouette of a man wearing pointy hood stood in front of a couple of cowering third years. I instantly got into my training headspace and I threw the first jinx that I could get my head to, Expelliarmus, to disarm. Always to disarm first and foremost, because killing is not an option, nor is maiming the first one.

That caused the man to turn towards me and made the distraction that the third years needed to ran from the scene, the man then let out a highly pitched chuckles and opened the mask to reveal herself,

and when the mask fell my heart stopped beating because of course,

of bloody course I would be this unfortunate to face the motherfucking Bellatrix Lestrange herself.

And I knew I was correct when I took her cackles as a sign to start the duel because the second that I put up my shielding charms, came to me her hexes of choices today, Which are green AND red, bloody hell it wasn't even a hex it was fucking unforgivables. As she kept on trying to crucio me, I pivoted my body a little bit lower to the ground to keep my balance as I was readying myself to summon the earth transfiguration that I was still experimenting on. After I strucked her with the transfigured huge troll, she then tilted her head as her grin grew wider, which made a perfect picture of insanity and then said,

" Ah... Filthy little serpent mudblood isn't here to play games, is she?" then she screamed as she sent hexes after hexes at me, as I tried my hardest to deflect and shield myself from them. At one point, I tripped over a block of wood and took a staggering step back as I heard Harry's voice shouting at me to duck, which I automatically did and thanked the heavens above that I didn't freeze for I saw the Avada flew over my head and hit the wall behind me.

The shock of being so close to death rattled throughout my body, and I decided to end the game as I casted a bombarda maxima at her and made my way out of the scene as debris flew to every directions from where Bellatrix stood. Hope you die, you demented bitch. As I ran, I quietly did surveillance on the streets and alleys that I walked pass by and by far, there were nobody left behind.

But as I was turning my body to head back to the castle to assist some help, my body was suddenly pushed to the side as I felt a body collided to mine and I registered the distinct sound of someone hissing 'Sectum argenteus' and a crack of apparation. When my body made contact with the ground, I immediately turned so I could face the person who saved me from the hex.

But when I did, my whole body froze.

" Remmy..?" I whispered shakily, trying to keep the stutter and tears away from coming out.

and I shakily crawl my way to the bloodied person that lay on the snowy ground.

" Little.. a-angel.. T-Thought, tol--d yo-" his sentence was cut off by strings of coughs that had his blood blubbering out of his mouth.

"No, no,no, please Merlin, Oh God please, Remus hold on oh god, PLEASE ANYONE HELP?! God Remus I-I can't stop the blood. VULVERA SANETUR" as the last bout of desperation, I tried to use the healing hex for Sectumsempra even though I already knew that it was not the right counter hex, for this was especially made to hex those who cannot survive silver.

---------------

Remus' POV

Remus, he knew this, of course he does. He knew that everybody was probably up in the castle, trying to asses the hurt and the losses. So he knew that it was the end, for him. He knew that nothing is going to work because the incantation said, To cut up, and Woven in silver. There's nothing that could heal him from the silver wound, and he knew.

So he, for the last time in this lifetime, picked up his hand and thread it through the tresses of the wavy black silk that drapes around his head as you hunched over him, trying to stop the bleeding. He smiled, through his bloody coughs and he carefully notes your expression, your face, for the last time, he thought.

" An-gel... Angel.. T-heress.. something I nee..d to kn- coughs t-to know" He spoke through his ragged breath. She, of course tried to stop him from wasting his breath and told him to wait for help, for whatever that he wished to tell her could be done later, when he's safe. But Remus knew that that would be the last time they would see each other again so he sushed her, and put one of his palm on her cheek, trying to soothe her. So he tried harder this time not to stutter, for he needed to let her know, let her know that she was loved,

she was very loved...

"Dove... I-I was... I was finishing the d-docccumentsss... You- Would you.." he paused, tried to claim back half of his mind back because he felt himself slipping away. At the realization on her face, he then asked her once more,

" would... y've say.. yes, Angel...?" then he smiled and closed his eyes.

His grip on her cheek weakened and his arm fell limp to his stomach.

And the last thing that he heard was a faint yes, papa. Of course yes...

☼︎𝒇𝒊𝒏☼︎

[scorpiwrites]

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐽𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑃𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑥 𝑂𝐶

Part 1 | Part 2

Desc : OC as James’ ex. She wrote a parting letter before she went on the horcrux mission with Regulus.

Warning : some languages.

To Jamie P(iss off Potter),

Hey, uhh idk how to do this shit ANYWAYS let’s get on with it.

Okay uh shit this is so messy

Hi, I don’t know if you’re going to read this but... let’s just hope you do because there’s an important piece of something along these lines of goodbyes and I hope that you’ll get it and.... I don’t know.. make it a useful information (?) so that me and Reg’s sacrifice wouldn’t go to waste.

Oh... yeah.. kinda spoil the secrets a bit, yeah? I’ll get to that later. I think first order of importance should be the apology.

I’m sorry, James. I truly am. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us, sorry that maybe our relationship caused some rift between you and Siri, sorry for lots of things I can’t even name. I don’t know exactly what happened, or when did your feelings change, I just hope that you forgive me for that it may be my fault that caused us to part,

That caused you to seek after Lily instead of me, your own witch.

Salazar help me I’m still petty about it Oh Merlin. I was hurt James, It hurts so much. But apparently Sirius said that it was my fault. So-

Second order of business, casual fuck you note. Regulus is currently making a similar one for Tommy the dark lord, oh Merlin I should probably check on that. OH DID YOU KNOW Tommy is actually a bloddy halfblood. Huh, hypocrisy at its finest, yeah?

Fuck you James Potter. You had no right to break my fucking heart like that. I explicitly trusted you and put my heart into your hand, and you, you fucking dunderhead ugh Sev’s vocab is pissing me off but you are a dunderhead had the fucking audacity to play with it. Fucking toerag. I hope you choke on yr fucking breakfast reading this shit.

( P.s sorry for the explicit languages, It’s the only chance that I get to say it to you anyways )

Right, so let’s get to it then, yeah? After we broke up, I started to spent my passing times in the back of the library, alongside of a surprisingly nice Regulus bloody Black. Yeah, Guess this is where it all begun. One night, he crawled towards our room there, completely bloodied and bruised. I was frantic, then I decided to levitate him to the RoR( seventh floor, across the painting of Barnabas the barmy) and that was the night where I knew where I’d stand in this war. That was when me and Regulus decided to tip the scale for the better.

We know that Sev is also a spy for the order but we don’t really trust him so it’s just both of us

Long story short, TDL ( the dark lord is too bloody long) borrowed Kreacher from Regulus on new year’s eve and when he came back he was shaking and vomited over and over again and begged not to push him to drink again. Regulus was worried and pushed some answers out of him, and what we found out.... is extremely disturbing.

He took Kreacher to a cave, forced him to drink some kind of poison inside a basin and then after the basin opened, he put some kind of locket under the basin.

James, the locket had an S engraving. It was Slytherin’s locket.

So... naturally me and Reg decided to make a plan to steal the damn thing. We had some theories of what it is, but Reg is very adamant that TDL made the locket his horcrux.

That being said, this is a parting letter, Potter. I have no idea where this mission is going to take us. No idea how it’s going to end, but one thing that I do know is that the outcome is not going to be good. Sorry for a terribly written letter, you probably deserves more than this, but I’m shaking too much and couldn’t stop crying.

Farewell, James. I hope you find what you are looking for in life.

P.s I still love you

P. P. S please tell my parents that I love them, even though they burnt me off of the tapestry for being sorted into a little serpent.

P. P. P. S tell Lupin that I love him, tell Black that he’s a little shit, tell Peter to find a good shag.

P. P. P. P. S there's a mole in the order, Reggie said something about a rat of some sort, I think he's barking mad for wanting me to tell you but ok I guess

P. P. P. P. P. S what does the P’s even stands for? Huh.

P. P. P. P. P. P. S tell ur mum n dad hi from Scorpi, I miss them terribly. I ALSO MISSED MIPSY’S COOKIES :(

Lots of love and hope,

Scorpeia R. Prewett

☼︎𝒇𝒊𝒏☼︎

[scorpiwrites]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 | 𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑢𝑠 𝐿𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑛

(post Hallow's Eve 1981 Non magical au)

Warnings : none? It's kinda weird me thinks, bcs I kinda struggled twisting it here and there bcs there's no magic in this au ( my half-assed assignment hUh). Mentions of death, grief, it's in 3rd pov but Remus centric.

Enjoy <3

Oh, and...

Happy Halloween, to those who cosplays as the Potters I do hope that you get enough hugs, love u all!

Still lingers on his mind, that day he and his friends had finally finished their responsibilities they had to their school and graduated.

The place where he felt safe, a place to lean on when everything was too heavy for him. The voices of cheering and elation still rang in his ears if he focused enough on the memories of that day.

He still remembered how happy and proud his friends were when they managed to turn the little hut they found into a secret place for them when they were at the end of their third year at school. He still remember all the dreams and hopes that he and his friends put in that small hut, and how they finally bought the hut from the school because they wanted their memories to still be there even though they had left the school.

He still remembers the happy years where he watched his best friend build a family, the years when they all pursued their respective careers in their precarious situation, the years when they could still feel the warmth of friendship and kinship in the midst of a war that is taking place in their country.

Yes, 

He thought. 

James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans were a family to Remus Lupin. Even though they were not blood related, he felt so much closer to them compared to his family who isolated him in the past due to an illness he had since childhood.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans are each other's home. A home where they can be themselves, a home where they can feel safe, a home where they can express all their feelings, and a home where they can feel the warmth and love that they don't get from their family.

But now,

all was lost. 

Everything's gone. 

All laughter, hope and joy are gone.

And the house they had built with blood, sweat, and tears for years slowly crumbled under their feet. Crushed by the jealousy, seduction of power, and despair of a man. And when it was all over, when all the remains of the ruins of the house had been cleaned up,

There was only one person left.

༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄

November 1, 1981 (flashback)

Remus Lupin was annoyed, his body aches after the exhausting hours of the infiltration mission Dumbledore gave him. To be honest he couldn't even contact his family during the entirety of the mission which lasted for 3 freezing weeks on the Irish soil. He couldn't help but smile with satisfaction on the way home, imagining that he would be huddled with his family in front of the fireplace with the endless supply of hot chocolate that Lily seemed to have prepared for him in no time.

Along the way home he was confused when he saw many people who were cheering happily while holding the newspaper that had just been published that morning. He couldn't stop himself from thinking that the war was finally over, but he didn't want to linger on the road because he still had to go to Dumbledore to file his mission report before he was allowed to go home.

Remus could not wait for a confirmation of the truth of the news from Dumbledore, but he was not at all prepared when he heard that the war ended with his friends. Lily and James had been betrayed by Sirius Black who was indeed the only person they trusted to know the location of Lily and James' residence, which resulted in an attack on their residence which ended in the deaths of Lily, James, Peter and also Tom Riddle, the head of their enemy's side. 

༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄

December 24, 1981 (present)

Remus sat quietly in front of the fireplace at his house. He sat there trying to cope with the loss of his family. Tomorrow was the first Christmas he would celebrate without them, and it hurts him to see other families out there gathering and making new memories in their lives, he hates being a pessimist but the pain of Sirius' betrayal is still in his chest, a pain that he couldn't get rid of even though he had tried dozens of things. But amongst the pain of the betrayal there were doubts that still haunts him. Sirius was James' first friend, James is the first person to know that Sirius' family, The Blacks, is a family with a dark past and very strong connection to the Death Eaters, the opposing group in the war, and Sirius just wanted to escape from the shadows of his family. James was the one who opened his arms and his home to Sirius when he ran away from his childhood house after his mother beat him because he didn't want to follow his family on the wrong path, Remus and everyone who knew The Marauders knew that Sirius really loved James.

༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄

In hindsight, Remus knew that he really shouldn't have trusted the government workers or the officials that easily. It was just a couple of days after the Yuletide that Remus was able to finally deal with the pain and anguish, that he started to realize that  there were some things that were 'missing' from the report he received from Sirius's arrest. First, the absence of eyewitnesses is very disturbing in this regard. Secondly, due to the explosion allegedly triggered by Sirius, Peter's body is very unidentifiable, which makes Remus skeptical because he is a true believer in the motto ' No body, No crime '. And lastly, there is no further investigation into Sirius's connection with this mass murder. All based on Sirius' presence at the crime scene, and also his family background. 

Remus realized for a long time that the government in his country was corrupt, and this was also not helped by the ongoing war from 5 decades ago, which caused chaos in the inner works of the ministry itself and if Remus was being honest, a little bit of old money was going on in  politics. But things like this really made him doubt the authorities because the reports he got were proof that these 'authorities' were very incompetent in carrying out their duties. Of course, Remus knew that he couldn't simply protest against them, he doubted that they would believe him and feared that they would just imprison him for believing that he was cooperating with Sirius. He realized that if he wanted to uncover the truth, he had to investigate this himself and tread it carefully. Remus is also aware that this has the potential to lead him to the real spies among them.

Oh, and a little bonus on the good side he also came to the conclusion that he couldn't trust Dumbledore to do his job right this time round. 

༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄

October 31, 1982

One year.

He had spent a year alone. A year filled with sorrow, a year filled with doubts, and a year filled with new realizations for him. Since last Christmas Remus decided to investigate the case of betrayal and the death of his friends because he decided that the reports he received from the authorities were very unreliable and somewhat covered up. Day after day he passed by tracing back the traces of his friends in the days before their deaths, day after day he held back his emotions and forced himself to compartmentalize his thoughts because he realized that only he cared about this case, only he tried to thoroughly investigate the case. So he had to tread this seriously.

And all that paid off with results that are quite satisfactory. 

For him, anyways. 

He still remembered, one month ago when he was infiltrating Riddle's old bunker and he had seen and heard clearly the evidence he had been looking for…

“… yes! And he stupidly believed Dumbledore was telling him the truth! All those months of sending him away, thought he would've noticed it sooner, HAHAHA I never thought it would be that easy!” 

Remus, who was trying to infiltrate the file room suddenly stopped. He recognized that voice.

“Didn't you say that he is one of the best spies in the Order?” sneered his interlocutor. 

Remus tried to contain his anger as he successfully peeked through the cracks on the door, there sat Peter Pettigrew and Severus Snape sitting on the sofa holding a glass of Whiskey in their hands. Then he listened intently as Peter, the traitor, told in detail how he had worked to trick them all since the day of their graduation. His hand that gripped a Recorder was also very white, he was surprised that the Recorder could still be used and functioned properly. And there he promised that now was the time to leave this investigation to the Aurors, and that it was time to stop trusting Dumbledore and the rest of the Order.

And here he is now, standing on the edge of the rock that has become the separate island where Azkaban is. It was surrounded by a choppy sea and no nearby island could be seen as far as his eyes could see. Here he is now, at the end of his journey of the investigation that he started.

Here he is now, waiting for the return of a piece of the home he longs for.

And when the electric door opened, he finally saw the pair of gray eyes he had been waiting for all this time.

“Humph, did you have to wait a year for this? Sure took your sweet...sweet time didn't cha? Don't you know that they don't serve good food inside?? You owe me debt, Moony! Free food for me for 1 month! Or fuck that, make it a year!!” 

And Remus could only laugh freely at the shouts emitted from one Sirius Black.

Yes, maybe he can't get them all back,

Maybe he won't be able to get all of the broken pieces of his home back to his grasp again. But now, right in this moment, when he finally, finally collides with the last remaining piece of his home and wept, he promised then. He promised in his little heart, whispering to the gods above that listens, that he would never let go of his home again. 

And they would move forward, together. It would hurt, it would take time and time again. Trials and tribulations. But right then, he knew. Remus knew that together, they would go through it all. 

One moment at a time. 

☼︎𝒇𝒊𝒏☼︎

[scorpiwrites]

𝐓𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐲 | 𝐽𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑃𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑥 𝑂𝐶

Part 1 | Part 2

Desc: this part delves more into James n Scorpeia’s past, Lil mention of James n Lily’s life, Sirius and his gut feelings, Sirius being a grown-up (for once), and reactions to the letter.

Warnings: implied infidelity, a little language, mentions of panic attack, minor Lily bashing, dark thoughts, alcohol, drunk violence ( lmk if I’m missing anything )

A/N: I was not expecting to make the sequel of the parting letter but... I kinda like where it is going and one of y’all asked for this.

Let me just tell you that the timeline is a bit longer than the canon. So Harry’s birthdate is still following the canon, but the prophecy hasn’t been said, and I want to make Halloween’81 to be the day when Reg and Scorpi are doing the deed. I’m sorry for any misspellings, I’m still struggling with grammar and such for English isn’t my main language.

Taglist: @areomalfoy

It was just another day, James thought while his feet took him to his flat.

Godric, how did it got so messed up? He thought while his nimble fingers absentmindedly open the lock with muscle memories, his thoughts flying everywhere around his head, trying to figure out why,

Why?

Why wasn’t he at home with his wife?

Why?

Why did Lily do it?

Why?

Why did it not hurt enough?

Stumbling on his feet, he snapped himself out of the reverie and the dangerous parts of his brain. He sighed hard, screwed his eyes shut, and dragged his palm across his face. It has been a long year, and he’s so tired of the never-ending screw-ups in his life.

He went to the kitchen, silently thankful for his decision of keeping the flat clean and stocked up, and reached the fridge to take a couple of bottles of firewhiskey and took off to his study, not acknowledging that there was an owl perched on his window ledge, watching his every move.

Who

Who

James abruptly stopped and swiveled around. He cocked his head to the side when he saw a familiar owl on his window. Eyes wide with recognition, it was like fuel burning in him and he sprinted to the owl, cannot wait to see what the owner has written to him.

Scorpi! Scorpi wrote to me!

He then couldn’t help but wonder — not for the first time— about her since they parted. It was a bittersweet goodbye, and he knew it was nobody’s fault but his.

He remembered the first time he saw her, she was sitting under the infamous raging whomping willow—what she did to the willow for it to stay still, he didn’t know— but what he did know is what she did to him, the feelings that were raging inside of him at the sight of her. He was 12, back then. Everything was so simple. Except, the girl that he fancied and sent longing looks to was a Slytherin. He contemplated this, maybe.... just...

maybe not all Slytherins are bad?

He remembered the euphoria of chasing her, the joy of being loved by her, the memories of being hers.

What he didn’t remember, was the catalyst of their downfall.

Was it the constant arguments?

Was it his possessiveness?

Was it the way he bullied her housemates? 

But what he does remember was the feeling of elation and blurriness when he snogged Lily in an empty common room.

But what he does remember was her, walking into his common room with Remus, holding a basket of Honeydukes chocolates and the brightest smile on her face—only to freeze on the doorway, eyes zeroed to her boyfriend who was snogging another witch.

And that was 4 years of love, hope, and happiness went down the drain.

James rarely felt regret, but for the longest of time, all he felt these past few years was regret. And his thoughts were always filled with what-ifs...

The sudden pain he felt on his fingers brought him back to the letter in his hands, and an unimpressed look of an owl — Disha— who was waiting on her treats.

``'m sorry, my lady. Please tell Scorpi that I’ll write to her later “ the Myna bird only cocked her head and stared at him with a look that very resembled pity. But why?

After giving the treats, he walked slowly to his study, carefully eyeing the gentle penmanship. Why the sudden letter? His intrusive vile thoughts are jumping around his head as he grips the letter harder, the thought of something happening to her sets his magic off and he doesn’t like it one bit. As he sat down on an armchair, he was startled to notice that Disha didn’t go back to Scorpi, instead, she was perched on top of his coat rack. He took a deep breath and opened the letter.

—————————————————————

Sirius Black is a proud young man.

He’s proud of his job,

He’s proud of his reputation,

He’s proud of being a godfather of a cute little tyke,

And mostly, he’s proud of his intuition ( which never fails him, to the surprise of everyone who knows him).

Today has been an odd day for him. From the first second he opened his eyes, he felt heavy. With every step, every breath, and every muscle that he moved. It was heavy.

And the clench of his guts doesn’t help anything.

He contacted his family. James, Remus, Peter. Everyone is fine, hell, he even contacted Lily— which he was not close with— in the desperation of finding out what has been bothering him. He thought of contacting Regulus, but with the way they broke off any family ties the year before, he doubts that Regulus would answer his floo anyway.

For a while, he managed to ignore that heavy feeling on him and go on with his day. Worked here and there, apparating from house to house for new tips on death eaters, still, the feelings lingered in him. It was at the edge of the day when he felt the sinking feeling overwhelmed him— nearly swallowing him in whole. He stumbled to his feet, papers of reports and notes that he took today fell onto the cold tiles but he couldn’t care less. He just gotta know.

He raced to the floo, and with shaky hands managed to call him, the rising biles of guilt and anxiety manages to be broken by sheer needs to protect what was his,

no matter where they stand now.

—————————————————————

If anyone ever asks James if he ever took a swim in the Black Lake, he would’ve told them no.

But he could’ve sworn the cold that gripped right on his whole being right now would have surpassed that of the lake. He felt like he couldn't move. With his hand still gripping on the letter, he made an attempt to walk to the floo, only to fall on his knees from the amount of shaking his body made.

This is wrong, this shouldn't have happened. This is my fault. She was there with him because of me.

He managed to crawl his way to the fireplace in his study, reserved specifically for emergencies and connected only to several floo, including Scorpeia’s. Because that’s how it was supposed to be, isn't it? He and her. James and Scorpeia against the odds, “ ‘till forever falls apart.” he somberly whispered the password only he and Scorpeia knew. He waited with bated breath, sobs threatening to break out of the confines of his body but there was no answer, there was nobody home. 

With his last clear memories, he remembered the way he slumped down the wall after taking his previously abandoned bottle of firewhisky and he remembered plunging the empty bottle to the wall across him, resulting in the blood prints that he left behind when he walked to snag more of said alcohol.

He did not understand why, then. He did not understand the way his heart broke at that moment. He did not understand why the thought of losing her forever hurts him more than the sight of his cheating wife. He did not understand the way his heart clench with the thought of never seeing her again, 

What he did understand was that he never once swam in the Black Lake,

But at that moment, he felt like there was a force that tugged him down the cold lake and he couldn't breathe.

☼︎𝒇𝒊𝒏☼︎