#se like it's a youtube series but at the same time she got a deal with the hotel show to be an actual tv show like

[chillllii]

i hate viv ze pop and her stupid ass shows

[purplesurveys]

718

If you lived in Bikini Bottom, would you befriend Spongebob or Plankton? Obviously Spongebob. I’m there to have a good time and catch jellyfish, not eat holographic meatloaf and make it my life’s goal to steal a secret formula. Do you have any bananas in your house right now? I think we still have some left. My dad bought a pack? a group? a bunch? of them so he can make banana cue and turon for my mom and sister while we’re all stuck at home for the meantime. Which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? Eh I don’t judge this easily since I assume tattoos mean a lot to people but where I’m from, line tattoos are pretty overused. They DO look nice and I get why they’ve been trending for a while, but yeah they’re evvvvvverywhere. Is it easy to distract you? Yes haha I have a rather quick attention span. Do you prefer to drink from glasses or mugs? Depends on the drink. I drink my water from a glass but I prefer my coffee in a mug, that sort of thing.

What was the last thing you taught a younger kid? I don’t feel confident teaching kids just yet, huhu. It usually works the other way around: when I’m with kids, they teach me how to play their toys or whatever game they’re playing on their parents’ phone/iPad. Are the clocks in your house mostly digital or analog? We only have one analog clock. We mostly tell the time from our phones. How long have you had your television(s)? Answered this before but we have two TVs that are 12 years old and two others that were bought within the last decade. Do you like watching movies made with CGI or do you prefer hand-drawn ones? I don’t care. As long as the end product is done well I can enjoy the movie. Where did your parents buy their car(s)? I know for sure the two family cars were bought directly from the official dealers. I think mine was a secondhand one. Do you know why your grandparents chose your mother's name? No. I think they just liked the name. That makes me want to ask my grandma though. What is your favourite kind of soup? Miso is the only one I really like. Have you ever made your own musical instrument? Nope. What do you think of Leighton Meester's singing voice? I only know one song of hers and I reeeeeally loved that when it came out, but I don’t think it’s enough for me to have an opinion for her music altogether. I definitely don’t hate her voice though. Do you think you'd do well at teaching the English language to a foreigner? Yeah, it’s my other everyday language and I’m a little bit more fluent in it than I am in Filipino. How long have your neighbours lived there? About the same time as us, I think. We all moved in at sort of the same time when the village was newly developed. Is it weird to hear your name in movies or TV shows? It’s not a very common name so it does feel a bit weird to hear, yes. It’s weirder if I have to refer to the character in third person cause I never liked saying my own name :/ Why do so many people seem to hate the Jonas Brothers? Am assuming this refers to the Jonas Brothers pre-reunion because I’m sure no one hates them and their new music now lmao. I think, simply put, it was because they were teenagers then, and pre-teen and teenage girls was their main fanbase? Most people liked to shit on that category of celebrities, even today – case in point, Justin Bieber, 5SOS, One Direction haha. What is a store you like that is exclusive to your country? Fully Booked! It’s the most complete, up-to-date, and chic bookstore brand we have. The Fully Booked branch in BGC in particular is a partnership with Starbucks, so you can immediately walk over there to get a coffee and read after buying a book heh. If you attend school, what time do you usually get home after? I always have extracurriculars like org stuff, meetings, or fieldwork after my academic schedule so more often than not I’ll get home by 9 or 10 PM, which leaves me feeling exhausted as fuck at the end of the day. When was the last time you really needed to just let loose? Like two weeks ago? I was bored out of my mind being stuck at home so I chugged a lot of soju that I asked my dad to buy so I can at least be drunk while being bored lol. Have you ever been blackmailed? Kinda. There was a time when I didn’t talk to my sister and didn’t really feel well enough to reconcile with her yet, but my mom threatened to go to our class guidance counselor and expose me and ‘the kind of older sister I am’ if I didn’t make amends with my sister immediately.

This might sound sarcastic but thanks, survey, for reminding me what kind of mom my mother actually was during the years that were the most critical to my development lmao. I always need reminders like this because despite how our relationship has ‘improved’ now that I’m older, I shouldn’t forget the trauma she caused me and the fact that I had always planned to detach myself from her as much as possible once I’m fully independent. I can’t disappoint my younger self by keeping her in my life as if nothing happened.

Do you suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome? No. I keep forgetting what that means. Would you rather have novels based on your life or a series of comic books? Novels, so I’d be more interested to read it. Have you written a resume before, either for yourself or someone else? I did a resumé when I applied for my internship. Did you know that they plan on releasing a movie based on The Smurfs? This survey is sooooooo old hah they’ve made a bunch of films on it already. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live underwater? Not really. Mostly I’ve just wondered what it would be like to be a creature from the deep sea, where it’s totally dark and most of the animals there look prehistoric as fuck lol. Have you ever worked in a bakery? If not, would you like to? No but this question reminded me of Harry Styles, aw :’) ANYWAY if I did I’d probably take up a job in the office, since I can neither bake nor deal with people on a regular basis even if one argues that bakeries aren’t really particular spots for angry Karens or Barbaras. What is your favourite thing about snow? I like that we don’t get them because it’s bound to make my first encounter with snow in the future magical as fuck. Is there a big personality difference between you and your sibling(s)? Yeah. I tend to adapt to new environments way better than they do and I’m definitely the most extroverted of the three in all aspects.  Do you enjoy decorating things with stickers? Hahahah yes, it’s an uncontrollable urge. I keep my stickers to just my laptop case these days, but back then I used to put stickers on my phone case, my ID case, clipboard, wallet, etc. Did you lose anything recently? Did you end up finding it? I lose my hair tie every now and then; my hair’s a bit short for a ponytail now so my hair tie gradually slips out my hair with me barely noticing it, so it always ends up in random places around the house. I do end up finding it after a while but it gets frustrating whenever I realize it had fallen off again. What colour oven mitts do you have? We don’t really use the oven so we barely use the ones we have. I don’t even know the color of it.

Why do you/don't you watch award shows? Because there are sooo many commercials in the middle of it, some presenters are awkward as fuck and I’d rather save myself from the secondhand cringe, and most of the time the choices for the winners are undeserving and end up pissing everyone off. It’s always easier to just wait a few hours and check the results on Google; and besides, the only fun parts are seeing what everyone is wearing and who attends to begin with hah. What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres as the new judge on American Idol? God this was a lifetime ago. I think I mostly didn’t mind it but I never did get over the replacement of the OGs Randy, Simon, and Paula. Do you ever do the exercises featured in some magazines? No. Have you ever watched What The Buck? What do you think of it? I don’t think I’ve heard of that. How long ago did you switch from cable to satellite, if you did? We didn’t make a ‘switch,’ per se. We had cable in our old home but when we moved to our current house in 2008, having extra channels wasn’t really the priority as moving already entailed a whole lot of expenses to begin with. That meant we only had free TV for a while which was extremely fucking boring, but eventually my dad got us satellite in like 2011 or 2012. When was the last time you partnered up with someone to complete something? I decided to partner up with Andrew for my undergraduate thesis in like August last year. Do you consider Lady GaGa's appearance artistic, or just plain weird? Artistic. What do you usually do when you have trouble sleeping? I put a lengthy YouTube video on so I can fall asleep to the background noise. At least that’s what I do these days - I always thought I needed complete silence to fall asleep, but apparently that’s not the absolute case. What was the last thing you used scissors for? I opened a sachet of 3-in-1 coffee.

Have you ever used some kind of food as a facial mask? Nah I always just use Korean sheet masks. How many USB cords do you have lying around? I personally don’t have any but I do have a hard drive. Are you satisfied with your social life (or lack thereof)? I’m very satisfied with it and I’m glad I got to open up in college. Do you know anybody whose initials spell something? Sure. What is your favourite flavour of Kool-Aid? I’ve never had Kool-Aid. Is there a specific food you think NEEDS to be at Christmas dinner? My grandma’s steak. Would you be able to re-string a guitar? I wouldn’t even know where to buy guitar strings. What TV show do you just assume you wouldn't like? How I Met Your Mother, just because their fans love to make fun of and compare their oh-so-great show to Friends so much when I’ve never seen a single Friends fan make fun of HIMYM like ????? Why the one-sided, unsolicited hate??? I was always planning to watch the show and appreciate Friends and HIMYM at the same time but because the fans are so pathetic I just stopped wanting to watch it altogether. Do your friends have more money than you? Seems unfair to pit ourselves against one another when we’re all still depending on our parents’ money lmao. Who always has the power to make you feel intimidated? Ate Frances has always had a very strong personality. Do you have more bread or cheese in your house? Bread. What was the last movie trailer you saw? Not sure. I don’t really like trailers since most of them give away too much of the plots already. Did you purchase any meat product when you were at the store last? My dad did. Have you ever been told that you have chubby cheeks? Well I don’t, so no I’m not usually told this lol. Do you know how to properly use a saw? Nope. Isn't it a shame that what Kanye West did at the VMA's overshadowed what was supposed to be a night dedicated to Michael Jackson? Hahahaha not really, I found it hilarious and so so stupid. There were a billion other tributes to MJ that year that went smoothly so it doesn’t really matter to me if the 2009 VMAs will always be known as the Imma-let-you-finish VMAs.

[destiny-smasher]

I used to be close friends with one of the composers for Steven Universe. I watched them rise from a YouTube remixer living in a cramped bedroom in a shared apartment with nothing but a mattress on the floor and a keyboard beside it to owning a house, happily married with a whole backyard garden and a cat because they found success working on one of the biggest cartoon shows I’ve known. But they broke off that friendship earlier this year and it’s made my biased love for Steven Universe become very difficult to grasp with. Understanding how and why we weren’t friends anymore was likewise difficult to grasp, even after hours of us trying to hash things out and resolve it. And while we DID resolve things amicably (I hope) and peacefully, it wasn’t until Steven Universe: The Movie that I was really able to feel like I could see the forest from the trees and ‘get’ what happened. This will be a kind of review of the movie, but mostly it became more of a personal ramble relating my real life experiences with Aivi to those of characters within SU, especially the antagonist of the Movie. This is lifted from this Twitter thread, so it was originally written stream of consciousness and I’m sharing it here to keep it more readable and archived. This is a bit of a read so tucking it behind a ‘read more.’

--

"You keep on turning pages for people who don't care about you And still it takes you ages to see that no one's there Everyone's gone on without you"

Time to finally talk about the #StevenUniverse Movie. Strap in 'cause this gon' get personal.

It should go without saying BUT I am gonna be talking about the movie! Dunno how in detail per se but I can't properly say what I wanna say without diving into some of the important plotty stuff. So yea.

Don't read this thread if ya don't want #spoilers #sumovie 

First off, I wanna talk about what this movie does well. Going in, I had heard it was framed like a musical. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that idea, though it wasn't surprising. After all, the 'musical' style episodes tend to resonate quite a lot. 

I think they work great when it's one song in a 10 minute episode, but an hour and a half of songs? I wasn't sure how well that would go. Turns out, pretty well. This is due to many factors but primarily the variety of song styles and art styles used throughout. Basically every scene has a primary song that drives it home, and basically all of them have a different genre/tone as well as visual presentation style. A lot of work went into getting it all to work together and feel cohesive. TBH for me personally the main highlight of the movie was honestly the animation. Average TV goers might just see "yup sure looks like a cartoon" but on the whole, on average, the movie is CLEARLY animated and framed with much more dynamism and detail than the majority of SU. Getting to see these characters we've gotten to know over the past few years a couple years in the future, generally at peace with things, but animated with more detail than ever, THAT is the true highlight of the film for me. Naturally, there was a lot of bits of comedy, often relying on knowledge of what the characters have been through, and I felt a lot of bittersweet smiles throughout as this felt like a good send off for Steven and his Space Moms. It managed to work in cameos from basically everyone you'd expect, some of which...didn't work out as well as others (specifically, the Diamonds bookending the movie was a bit forced and weird IMO but they ARE important to the lore even if I find them boring tbh) It was nice getting to 'catch up' with everyone, and the plot itself uses a generic 'gotta save the world again' thing (bleh) in a creative way, at least -- it all becomes an excuse to "re-live" the four primary heroes' stories through song. Cool enough. Something the movie inadvertently highlights, however, is the fact that SU as a series really started spinning its wheels a lot for its second half, in particular. Much has been said about how and why and why or not this doesn't matter, etc. etc. I was just along for the ride. I've repeatedly expressed my personal bias in the series' favor for a long time, and now? I kinda don't really have that personal bias anymore. I still love the show, I still think it's one of the best cartoons I've ever seen. But those rose-tinted glasses are off now. Taking said glasses off and actually listening to and looking up what critics of the show had to say kind of unearthed a bunch of things I had kept sweeping under the rug for the sake of personal bias/support of someone I loved and cared for a lot. We'll get back to that. I say all of this because the movie ironically failed to do much of anything NEW, something the series itself kind of struggled with for a while until it finally got around to the conclusion of Steven's story arc. The film ultimately kind of ends with "yeah Steven can change!" Which, um yea? Obviously. He's a completely different person than he was in S1. But he's kiiiiinda been the same person for....some while now. The weird irony of SU as a series is that about halfway through the narrative, the protag has essentially grown up, done. The last half or third or so of SU's narrative was basically Steven having to cheer everyone around him up and help them deal with their shit, and...kinda just going about that essentially the same way every time. The power of love, the friends we made along the way, etc. To be clear, there's nothing BAD about this, and in fact it's what sets Steven apart from most every other narrative of this type. The protag is almost always forced to change in ways they don't want, do things they don't want to do, etc. But when you put it side by side with something like Avatar or Gravity Falls, those series saw everyone growing alongside each other. There are clear arcs for everyone, almost all of which get resolved in ways fitting each character. It's imperfect but it's varied. SU has a tendency to just...hammer everyone's character flaws and arcs with ONE option: just love yourself and be nice, and everyyyyyyythinggggg 'll work out in the end! Which is fine, but when a story does it for so long, over and over, always the same, it gets a bit weird. I specifically LIKED in the film, at the end, that Steven actually does have to fight, because THAT is what Spinel needed to do. She needed to let out all of that anger, and that violence was her own way of doing it. 'you can't just sing a song to make everything go away' etc. It's typical, perhaps, for protagonists to have to tackle problems in different ways because that's LIFE. The fact is, Steven's approach will NOT save everyone. Lapis stilllll kinda stands as an example of this but an as of yet unresolved one. I liked that at the end of things, Spinel still doesn't come into the same fold as everyone else. Basically "sorry, I already fucked this up too much, I can't really deal with this," and that is IMPORTANT and I really liked it. Before really digging into the personal angle, I want to bring up how fascinating it is that the movie essentially had a real BUDGET and so they deliberately seemed to design an antagonist that would take full advantage of that animation budget. EASILY, by far, Spinel is the most interesting-to-watch antag in the whole series imo, in terms of how she moves and fights, etc. They really just wanted to flex and they did it, but like any SU antag there's (somewhat predictable) motives. This gets back at what I was saying before -- how the series spins its wheels a lot -- but Spinel's motivation/back story isssss kiiiinnndaaaa a lot like many many characters' issues and, like, I get it. We get it. Steven's Mom was Not The Best does that have to be the basis behind kinda EVERYONE who goes against Steven? Or the Gems? Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot all offered more varied motivations, and even THEN, Bismuth was still essentially in the same boat? Anyway, I digress. I DO appreciate the way the series set up Rose as this wondrous lovely lady and has severely dissected and broken that down to the point where I really do not like Rose, in any of her ID's, as a character or a fictional person, and it did so gradually. A lot of what the movie did was kind of expected. Right? Songs, singing, check. Steven going about things the same way, check. Re-living/celebrating how far he and his moms have come, check. What I didn't expect was -- OK, well, there WAS that one fusion...which, um

But the actual thing that really latched onto me was how much I conncted with Spinel. As is the case with any story that has well presented characters, you can attach to SOME part of just about all of them. I associate most closely with Pearl overall but can relate with just about anyone prominent. I see parts of me and Jenny in Steven/Connie, in Ruby/Sapphire, in Peridot/Lapis. I see what kind of woman I might've become in Amethyst (and sometimes am). Spinel, though, is a really weird case because I see my adolescent self in her SO MUCH and yet fairly recent events in my life -- directly tied TO the show itself, mind you -- make that connection weirdly poignant and present. For some context, I used to be good friends with Aivi, one of the musicians who works on the series with their husband. Spring 2018, Aivi and I vocalized to each other that we considered one another one of the closest friends in each other's lives. We're no longer friends. To make sure this is clear, I think Aivi is a wonderful person, and our breaking apart wasn't violent or dramatic or anything, Aivi just...decided they weren't interested in the relationship anymore. And neglected to tell me this until like a year later. The context is of course not at ALL as severe or dramatic as Spinel/Pink, so please don't assume there's some one-to-one there. But OOF are there some harsh similarities and it really made Spinel's backstory sting in a very confusing way. I say 'confusing' because, as I mentioned, I see my adolescent self in Spinel. The way I was going about making friends matches her 'happy' self. The way I acted in my senior year of college matches her 'angry' self. There was no single person that created any of that, though. In high school, I was like Starfire, in college, I tried to nurture that, play to my strengths. I failed miserably. And what I feel is a big part of why is inherently tied to my transitioning (which is, still, something I feel I am failing miserably at). By the end of college I was more like Raven, and there I remained through the duration of my first long-term romance, into a very weird and atypical marriage and breakup, and then I moved to CA and started changing. Fittingly, my current self can't quite ID with any single Teen Titan. I'm not a teen anymore, after all. Throughout a lot of my friendship with Aivi, they really seemed to fixate on comparing me to Pearl. It sometimes made me uncomfortable the particular ways they did, though. I strongly identified with Pearl's flaws and strengths in personality (though we're obviously different people), and so seeing Pearl go through redemption via self-love and self-acceptance meant a lot to me. "It's Over, Isn't It?" I was IN THE ROOM listening to Aivi and their husband work on the chorus to that song. Obviously they couldn't talk about it but I knew damn well what it was about, and anticipated that piece for a long time. Now it's even more weirdly painful. I met Aivi because they made Mario arrangements they put on YouTube and they happened to live a few blocks away when I was subletting my first summer in CA. They seemed very kind and caring and eager to Be Nice and at the time I really needed that at a very vulnerable and fragile time in my life so I latched onto that. -In The Garden- The week when the LiS terfs freaked out on me and that Bad Spinel side of me lashed back, and I found myself suffering from being gaslit and facing the fact that the worst part of myself that Trigon in Raven's mind that Angry Spinel was still THERE was still ME It was too much For the first (and thankfully, only) time in my life, I experienced suicidal thoughts. And Aivi REACTED to that shit. Strongly. In a way no one ever had for me before, ever. They drove across the Bay to my house, picked me up, had me over, and helped me process it. And in the months to come, as I was healing and coming to terms with how That Worst Part of Me That I Wanted to BE RID OF was still THERE and apparently could just fucking show up, through all of that, Aivi helped me work through things, and we really bonded. In retrospect, though, it's SO damned hard for me to tell if Aivi and I became so close because of mutual respect or pity or just conditioned behavior to Be Nice and Keep Up Appearances. I dunno. What I know NOW is that apparently Cost More than I would've thought. I'm not Aivi so I don't want to really dig into 'dirt' (again, Aivi is a great person who works very hard and that's WHY their work is so good) but looking back, it's wild to see their progression into SUCCESS and fame while I just stood by, floundering The thing is, Aivi was a super busy person. We barely got to spend time together -- when we DID, it was a multi-hour affair and apart from like, Jenny, Aivi is prolly the person I've had the deepest, most vulnerable conversations with. They were next to me when I realized 'oh huh I'm maybe trans??' because they were there when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. I never ASKED them to be there, to Be So Nice and as it turns out, Being So Nice is harder than it looks. So to kind of loop this back to the movie, I wasn't some Skullgirls Peacock Cuphead grinny goof or anything like that but I AM WILLING to bet that from Aivi's POV the way Happy Spinel acts toward Steven is prolly how I felt in Aivi's life at points, at the least. The irony is that we would go weeks, months, barely interacting. But looking back, the way Aivi talked about things, the same phrase keeps dominating my mind: Aivi got bored of me. I wasn't 'useful' to them anymore. Aivi said that day in spring 2018 was like 'the climax' of our friendship, or something like that. Way they talked about it was like...the finale of a season of TV. Our character arc together was over. Even though we TALKED about it, came to mutual understandimng of The Logic behind Aivi's decision to cut ties, I don't think it ever REALLY made sense to me, how Aivi must've felt about our friendship, until Spinel. By spring of 2019, my role in Aivi's life -- from what they have told me, from what I can perceive -- was more like I existed in a separate space from the rest of their life. I was that one interesting person always waiting in The Garden for them to visit when they felt like it Because while Aivi had gotten BIG, gotten MARRIED, gotten a HOUSE, found legitimate SUCCESS in their creative field I was still poor still stuck in retail still unable to find an audience still unable to understand the pressures of Success And OOOOFFF in those last couple years, interacting became more and more strained for both of us, from opposite ends of things. Aivi had responsibilities, PEOPLE vying for their attention, people wanting to hire them, projects to complete, a house, a spouse, etc etc My life was (and kiiiinda still is?) nothing like that, and as our Mutual Creatives Struggling to MAKE THINGS and Get By transforming into Yep I Am Still Here but you are SUCCESSFUL I think that really put a lot of strain on things I never accepted until Spinel. After Aivi hit it big with SU, in particular, they gradually started...acting differently. Acting in ways that made less and less sense to me. They were a Diamond now. And I was still just what I was. When drawing comparisons to characters on the show, Aivi persistently compared me to Pearl. A fact I once took pride in. They repeatedly compared themself to Garnet. Which...always kind of didn't make sense to me. Aivi wasn't really like Garnet. They are more NOW, though? In the sense of how they act, I suppose. Specifically, one of the last things Aivi said to me was that trying to be friends with me had started feeling like Pearl trying to force Garnet to fuse with her. This was problematic because from my POV nothing of the sort was happening. All I was looking for was occasionally hanging out a few times a year. Like. Ya know. Actually a lot less than what I was looking for with basically all of my other friends. And that was still Too Much? But when I start looking at things like Pink Diamond and Spinel instead of Pearl and Garnet, somehow things make a lot more sense. I was probably too clingy, too exciteable, and what amusement or relief I could provide eventually stopped being useful. Aivi eventually didn't even want to spend time with friends to just...spend time with them. Everything had to have some kind of practical Purpose to it, it had to be contributing to a Goal. I still don't get that, tbh. But I'm also not A Diamond. I'm not Successful. The most responsibility I have right now is fucking hanging up the laundry to dry. I have college loans that have and continue to feel pointless to try and repay. I have severe dental problems I haven't been able to fix. My body fell out of shape because of retail hell, and what energy I’ve had to spare from that always ends up going into the people I love, and trying to keep Making Things. Let's not forget The Complications of coming out and wanting to transition but not possessing the resources to do so. (Aivi was actually super supportive of this btw and was the first person to make me feel comfortable wearing feminine things so yea) Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that MY LIFE is not together. My personality is? I feel like I am finally Myself in terms of mental/emotional stability. And that is largely because Jenny helped me get there. But Aivi helped a lot with that, too. But I think Aivi got to a point where Success was more of a measure of how Grown Up and Healthy one was because despite my behavior, my personality, my mood, what I was asking for, and what I was giving, all changing DRASTICALLY after being with Jenny, I think Aivi still...looked at me the way Pink Diamond looked at Spinel during that song. Like, "yeeeaaaa ok kiddo it's time for me to go now, kinda done here" This is what's so confusing about all of this metaphor/etc. I'm not...like Spinel anymore? My current, post-coming-out self doesn't really relate with Happy OR Angry Spinel. It's almost like Aivi couldn't see me for who I became, and could only see me for who I had been. And maybe that's like why Spinel can't be friends with Steven at the end. It's too painful. I used to take pride in being associated with Pearl because "I'm enough" and "being strong in the REAL way" but now it's more like "oh you just think I'm still hung up and needy and clingy?" which uh don't feel so great a comparison. I can't help but wonder if while working on the movie, Aivi saw some of themself in Pink. Because I'm not the only person who apparently wasn't 'useful' to them anymore. And I'm not saying we should've kept forcing something that wasn't working. Not at all. What we had was good for both us, but it also entailed a lot of patience on my part and effort on theirs. And unlike any of my other long term friends, I often ended up waiting weeks, months, "Happily wondering night after night, Is this how it works? Am I doing it right?"

Years and years of broken friendships, one after the other, most lasting merely 6 months, MAYBE a year at most, with a handful that have lasted since middle school (but which are so much harder to maintain) took a toll on my Adult Self until Jenny, anyway. For quite a long time - the majority of my life, currently - I assumed I just was Too Different and that was why my friendships didn't seem to last, didn't seem to extend to the depths I was looking for. That's perhaps one critical difference between Spinel and I: she's looking for FUN, for smiling faces, for attention, for creating smiles, I just want some fucking consistency. At this point, I'm not even sure WHY I still reach out to people. I don't NEED friendships in that desperate way I used to, back in the Happy/Angry Spinel times. And I've come to terms with that Other Max part of myself and integrated it, accepted it. My worst parts are still me and instead of suppressing them (often by relying on bids of deep friendship with others) I just have to let them EXIST and let them do their thing once in a while. This is ALL why Celeste hit me as hard as it did. Because even if I'm not actually much like Spinel anymore, and Aivi's not really like Pink Diamond, even if I don't actually share much in common with Madeline (other than the subtle 'I drink sometimes to deal with my problems' thing, which I don't anymore) I still comprehend and resonate so much with that concept of just needing to accept the worst parts of yourself and work with them rather than trying to keep them caged up and then they escape and rampage every 5-10 years or so and ruin your life As I felt myself coming to all of these Good Feelings I FINALLY felt like I could help Aivi in the ways they had helped me. That I finally had something to offer I didn't before. Turns out, I didn't, apparently. Aivi had More Important Things to do than visit me in The Garden. And I couldn't blame them. Not a bit. Especially if they had gotten bored of visiting me. I didn't like feeling like a burden on them, either. Can't really argue with that. During the last time we talked, Aivi didn't use the WORDS, didn't literally say them, but I finally could see it: I wasn't Useful anymore. I couldn't Understand, either, because I wasn't Successful. Our friendship was rewarding, but because it required effort. And that effort was still worth it to me, but no longer to them. I was no longer worth it. And despite that, despite starting to feel those hunches, I spent those final months -- as had been the case before, they were afraid to hurt me so avoided actually confronting the problem -- I remained "Happy to listen, Happy to stay Happily watching her drift away" I have no idea if any aspect of our friendship impacted anything Aivi had worked on creatively. TBH Aivi seemed to approach even relationships themselves with more of a logical, pragmatic style -- it was entirely unique compared to anyone I had ever connected with. But if you've read @lis-allwounds then it might not surprise you to know that a lot of what I expressed through Stella and Max, as well as Other Max and Another Stella, channels a lot of these things. I even quoted Aivi directly in the story's end (perhaps foolishly optimistic) And yes, that epilogue moment of sorts is gonna be entirely different if I ever do finish the visual novel. The fact is that we were ALWAYS very different people and our friendship was weird and complicated and hard for one or both of us throughout its, what, 8 year duration? Ironically, I think I took away the opposite 'Character Arc Lesson' they did from all this. But that's just the thing, nothing is permanent for a Human Being. We aren't Gems, we don't actually fuse, we can't just change our appearances when we feel like it, or project ourselves to look how we want to look, or exist for thousands of years. But we DO all have different needs, different ways of understanding those needs, and different ways of needing to adjust or change ourselves or our environments in order to pursue what we want to pursue with the limited time we have here. We tried, hard, and it lasted long enough. If I'm not useful, I'm not useful, I guess? I don't have any ill will toward Aivi, I loved them as a friend and I know they loved me, too, and were better at showing it than most any friends I ever have had. If I'd been better at reciprocating in ways that were actually useful, that would've been good -- but then maybe we wouldn't have become friends in the first place if I hadn't needed 'saving' in the first place, I don't fuckin' know. And I hope my saying all of these things doesn't make anyone think any less of Aivi because your relationship with them is, very likely, not at all personal like mine is. And you know as well as I do how good they are at what they do. Aivi took the time to ease me out of things. Aivi did NOT suddenly up and vanish for thousands of years. While the dynamics of the situation might bare sharp points of similarity, Aivi is not like Pink Diamond and I'm not like Spinel -- not in the present, anyway. Stories help us because they share THREADS with reality but it's always important to recognize those threads for what they are and not confuse them for ropes. And me ranting and tossing all of this out there is something part of me has wanted to do for months but needed to take the time to grieve and process and accept. And maybe it's selfish to be posting all of this, I don't know. But it helps me accept myself and them a lot more. "Finally something finally news about how the story ends" Aivi likely has brand new friends, better ones than me, and I'm willing to bet some of them worked on this movie. And it turned out pretty good, all things considered, probably in part because Aivi was able to focus on it That person I became friends with, she doesn't exist anymore. Just like how who I used to be when Aivi first me, he doesn't exist anymore, either. We both changed, and grew in opposite directions, I guess. We've found happiness and growth and relief in different ways. In the end the Movie helped me come to terms with all of this in a way Angry Spinel younger me couldn't have still hurts yo

"Isn't that lovely?

Isn't that cool?

Isn't that cruel?

And aren't I a fool

to have happily listened,

happy to stay,

happily watching her drift away"

[cslupus]

Seeds

FACEPLANT

Hello! It's Lupus. Here to put the chronic into the Chronicles. I don't own anything by C.S. Lewis but I believe he would smile on fanfiction and that he fully intended the reader to finish his world. I don't own anything by Tech N9ne. The italics are lyrics from his song "Einstein".

Christmas day. Topeka, KS. 2414 Se Colorado Street. Dale's house

"So, fucking Egypt, right? Yknow, I was there and damn it, I wanted to try some of that local hashish." John said this while gesturing with the hose of the hookah in his hand, half remembering to finally take a hit. He blew the next words in clouds, "It was back in late 2011 to early 2012 and they had that revolution, right? Well..." John paused to take a drink from his tall natty light and coughed. Scarlette sat inconspicuously at the end of the couch, a worn and gorilla taped hookah hose in hand as everyone listened to the man sitting cross-legged on the floor. She'd been at job Corp for a year and a half and was finally free to smoke. She was lit as fuck and did her best to follow along. He continued, "So I found some guys who put me in contact with a dealer. And this wasn't something like here in the states where you go to the place, take it home and, yknow. No, this dude led me and about 3 other guys to this fucking warehouse. There was literally this big ol' switch breaker, like 'Egor, flip the switch' style thing that they pull down to turn on this one bare bulb hanging over this circle of chairs. At this point I'm thinking, yknow. 'Yeah, I might die, but fuck it. Yolo. Let's see where this goes.' and besides, they already had my money. So we go and sit in these chairs and they break it out and we're passing it around when one of the guys there starts to speak. He said," John paused. The look in his eye had shifted to a sadder gaze. "He said he was with the Egyptian guard or military or whatever. I don't remember his rank, just that he gave orders. He told us his rank and he told us his job during the revolution. Keep in mind that this shit just happened, like, within a year of him telling this story. His job was to tell the armed soldiers guarding some building what to do. The protests were crazy and a few times, yknow, his men got nervous, and he got nervous. He finally ordered the men to fire into the air to scare the crowd back, and so they did and the crowd dispersed. Just a couple days later they were back, and after a bit he had his men fire in the air again and the crowd dispersed and backed up, but slower this time. And sure enough, a day and a half later, they're back. So he has them fire into the air again. But the crowd isn't dispersing. He's telling us about fucking hundreds of people calling his bluff and his superiors were putting pressure on him and then, for whatever reason, he looked ME in the eye, dead in the eye, and said 'So I ordered my men to fire into the crowd.' and the only thing I could think right then in that moment was 'I am so fucking high right now.'"

The room was quiet. This quiet was comically broken with the sound of someone sucking the last icy bit of fountain drink through a straw, and everyone suppressed their laughter until finally Scarlette let hers go. The rest of the room followed suit. The tension broke and Dale, the host, slid over to Scarlette and asked her to pass the Playstation controller. She handed it over and he proceeded to put on some YouTube. Music filled the spaces left by people trickling towards the kitchen where the liquor was.

If you got scratch nigga, get the fuck up Throw your hands up, if you hella fucked up Einstein, tech n9ne, two triple zip Crack a jaw, whip 'em all, if they wanna trip Ladies with the bar codes, meet me after this

Maybe you can show me, the meaning of abyss Everybody on the wall momma is a bzzz Had her at the budgetel stroking on my dzzz This ones for the psychos gang bangers and sluts Bumbs holding the pipe those college graduate fucks

Scarlette stepped out onto the front porch to smoke a cigarette.

As she untangled her ear buds, a second person came outside and lit a clove cigar.

"Sup, Eddie." Scarlette said. She looked at him and noticed his clean cut appearance and his absence of cornrows. "You look nice. Your hair is really short, though. Beard looks good."

"Thanks, clove?" he offered the little black pack over and she saw a lighter and a chillum in it with 3 black wrapped cigars and three little nugs of weed in the cellophane of a cigarette pack burned shut.

"Everything's coming in threes. Nah. I don't want one after that hash."

"Threes?"

"Three cloves. Three nugs. Three days."

"So it's true. You're going to London to live with your dad." replied Eddie.

"Yeah, got the ticket with my Job Corp. money."

"You went for culinary, right? Are you sure they'll take your certification in the U.K.?"

"There's plenty of places that pay under the table. Skill is skill and I have it. I'll start there." she said a little defensively. She didn't like to talk about her reasons for moving, but the truth was, she felt called. London was calling and she was going to answer. She just was.

"I wish you'd reconsider." Eddie said sadly. "Do you at least have some money left after the ticket? Probably just a couple hundred dollars. What if things don't go your way and you end up homeless?"

"I'm sorry, Eddie, but I'm..." she was cut off by a series of gunshots from a few blocks over. "No, seriously! Who the fuck gangbangs on Christmas?"

"Keep it classy, Topeka." Eddie replied. The put out their half smoked deathsticks with reluctance and headed back inside.

Kc mo roll Kc mo roll What do we say to haters off top Haters got beef they thinking we got We gon' get postal if it don't stop You can get ghost or you can get shot

Scarlet sat down on the sofa and looked at her novelty yo-yo/mp3 player she was given as a fare well gift from her Job Corp. friend, Sylvester.

"I wanted to, just, curate and give you the best techno and trap and dubstep playlist ever, but a bunch of shit went down at my house I had to deal with, so I ended up not having time and I was just going to give you the yoyo and let you put on whatever juggalo shit you wanted, but then my buddy gave me acid. While I was peaking, I suddenly decided to work on this list, so I'm just ripping songs off of YouTube based on how they made me trip and, if they didn't make me trip right, it was like there was this lion, this fucking golden ass lion, looking in at me through a door in my chest and it'd growl. I'd feel it growl. It was insane. But I did fill it for you. So, it's all techno. Pretty random. Glitch Mob, Timmy Trumpet, some Diplo. Give it a chance before you delete it all."

She didn't say anything but she'd been seeing a huge lion in her dreams climbing the rocks on top of Echo Cliffs as the sun's rays slanted beneath a great, black stormcloud. Then it would look at her and she'd realize something so shocking it would wake her up but she could never remember what shocked her awake. She rolled her ear buds around the yo-yo and put it back in her bag. She headed into the kitchen to find Eddie.

"No dude," Eddie said, red cup in hand "you should not learn how to crip walk. You shouldn't even say crip walk. Say C-walk. And don't do it."

"Man, I do not, for the life of me, understand why a dance should be off limits. I just don't." said Tommie. "Man, I don't give a fuck, I'm graduated! Oh damn, sup Scarlette!"

"Sup. Shit, I'm graduated, too." she said as she grabbed a cup.

"From Job Corp. Not the same. Come back when you been to college, then law school." Tommy said as he leaned forward and smiled arrogantly.

"Man, chill out you cocky motherfucker. You ain't passed the bar yet. You are not a lawyer yet. You're a juris doctorate having motherfucker. Let Scarlette have hers, man. It takes nothing from you." said Eddie.

Scarlette glared at Tommie and poured herself some soda. She didn't really feel like drinking tonight, not after her mom's drunken bullshit earlier. She was thinking about being home as little as possible until her flight. She had lots of people to visit and say goodbye to, so it felt doable.

London, U.K.

Tears flowed down her face as she picked through what was left of her belongings on the terrace outside her father's flat. Her father's girlfriend, Debra, didn't like Scarlette and exactly one week after Scarlette started her hotel job, Debra planted a chequebook in Scarlette's trunk and claimed it had been stolen. So, without a word, Loren took his daughters belongings and put them outside while she was at work. He'd never been a brave man.

Scarlette made her way down the water-stained concrete stairs, out through the courtyard, and on into the streets. She walked aimlessly, hungry but too cautious to spend anything. She thought of all the groceries she joyously bought for herself just days before. They'd all be eaten up by that treacherous bitch and her lapdog boyfriend. More tears came. She sat on a swing and cried as hard as she'd ever cried.

When she finally stopped, the world stopped with her. It was dead silent. No horns, no machines, no people. She heard herself breathing hard so she knew she wasn't deaf. Suddenly, a great shadow crawled slowly over her from behind. She looked up and saw the buildings, streets, everything, peeled up in a big wave and curling over her. She didn't understand. She didn't think. She ran.

She ducked between pedestrians, having to take great care to avoid them so they'd stop knocking her down. It was like they couldn't see her. She eventually found an alleyway and ran down it. She leaned against the wall to catch her breath. To her left she saw a window, with a man staring out at her, though it wasn't a man exactly. He had sharp features, a pointed beard and ears, and two small horns coming from his forehead. She began running again.

This happened over an over. She'd see something utterly impossible, run away, stop to rest, and see something else. A half man half horse, a dancing tree, a squirrel the size of a medium sized dog holding quill and parchment. She couldn't run anymore, but she pushed herself down a narrow corridor back to the street where she saw a boarding bus. She barely made it, almost payed the fare til she realized she still couldn't be seen, found a seat and hoped to not get sat on.

After sneaking onto busses for a while, she found herself near the center of the city. She realized how tired she was. Thoughts of food again tormented her, til she finally got off the bus to track down some fish and chips to steal. She walked with purpose and rounded a corner to come face to foot with a giant. She whimpered as she began running again.

She ran across a vacant lot and saw a tree sprout, grow big and robust, fill with apples, the split in two and decay right in her path. She tried to go around and felt her foot snared by an ancient prehensile root. She struggled as she found herself falling down a sinkhole. She felt dirt in her mouth as the Earth swallowed her and her screams. Roots scratched her face and arms. Soon she felt light through her eyelids and felt leaves along with branches. She was still falling. No matter how she tried, she couldn't keep hold of any branches. It was all she could do to cushion each collision with each ever larger branch. All too soon, she ran out of branches. She fell a whole story and a half and landed on a small boulder jutting from the flowing roots that gripped the ground with her shin taking all of her weight. She both felt and heard her bone snap and, with a wet pop, rip through the skin. She was on hands and knees. She didn't feel anything until she foolishly tried to stand. That's when the world spun out of control. She stumbled to the ground; the pain in her leg was so intense she could almost hear it. She vomited and collapsed into unconsciousness.

Not far from her, in the brush, waited a watching satyr. He nimbly negotiated through the tangled roots of the great old tree and picked up Scarlette's bag. He looked around where he saw objects from her bag fall with her and gathered what he hoped was everything. He briefly examined the contents. He picked up her phone, thinking it was a very dark mirror for scrying, and he almost let out a yelp when the screen lit up. He put it back and donned her purse with the strap across his chest, leaned down, and lifted Scarlette up in a dead man's carry. He was a simple satyr who only did simple magic, but he knew great magic when he saw it, and he knew the High King at Cair Paravel would want to make this his business.

If you wish to read more, cash me on Fanfiction.net and wattpad

[im-just-here-for-the-drama]

Gay Characters in Kdramas: The Good, The Bad, and The Mediocre

Gay characters rarely show up in Korean dramas. Though there have been a few characters over the years,  In terms of representation, the characterization and stories of these characters are usually nothing to write home about, but I figured, why not write about it anyway? Here’s my watch and don’t watch list, if you’re looking for gay characters in kdramas.

Warning for spoilers galore!

The Mediocre (these aren’t bad, but they’re not the best either)

Lily Fever (2015)

The Story: Kyung Ju heads to her friends house one day to find her missing passport. She finds Se Rang instead.

Should You Watch?: Sure. This show is quirky and just downright odd. The ending leaves a lot to be desired and the story itself is kind of all over the place, but it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s short, most of it’s nonsense, and the girls have lots of chemistry. It’s only a bonus that Se Rang is a standout character of this show. You’ll probably fall for her yourself by the end of the webseries.

The Lover: Joon Jae and Takuya (2015)

The Story: Different couples live together in an apartment building. The show shows us snippets of their lives. Joon Jae’s life gets turned upside down when he meets his new roommate Takuya.

Should You Watch?: Hmmm...yeah. I started watching this show expecting it would showcase the typical Korean bromance between the guys. The kind where the show makes it seem like the guys might have feelings for each other, but the show just skirts around the topic entirely. In the first few episodes, that’s exactly what happened between Joon Jae and Takuya (with a lot of sex jokes and penis jokes thrown in for good measure. That’s actually what most of the show is). But the show eventually, actually, went there. Joon Jae and Takuya don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but when they do, we get to see some serious feelings thrown in with all the crass humor, and Joon Jae and Takuya do admit to having feelings for one another. The ending could have been a little better, but it was a happy one, so baby steps.

Perseverance Goo Hae Ra: Jang Goon (2015)

The Story: A group of rag tags come together to form a band. Jang Goon joins the band and meets their manager Tae Poong who he’s had a crush on for years.

Should You Watch?: Only if you’re interested in the rest of the show. Jang Goon has a fairly interesting storyline. He has a friend who accepts him after finding out about his crush and he has to rebuild bridges with his father who doesn’t accept him doing music (and Jang Goon’s scared he wont accept his being gay either). But Jang Goon’s storyline is such a small part of the story it wouldn’t be worth it to skip through to only his parts.

Daughters of Club Bilitis (2011)

The Story: A one episode drama detailing the lives of four lesbian couples.

Should You Watch?: I watched this so long ago, I honestly don’t remember a single shred of what happened in it, but I’ll say yes, watch it. Because there are so few lesbians in asian dramas you have to watch the one’s that exist. The entire show is about lesbians, so I  mean, why not?

Reply 1997: Jun Hee (2012)

The Story: The lives of a group of high school students in the year1997. Jun Hee has a crush on his friend Yoon Jae.

Should You Watch?: Yes and no. The Reply Series (Reply 97/94/88) are pretty good dramas after all. They’re great for nostalgia, family, friendship, and the like, but if you’re here solely for the gay? Probably not worth the time. Jun Hee’s a side character. We see him crushing on Yoon Jae and he confesses his feelings to Yoon Jae and another friend, but there’s not too much more than that.

Seonam girls high school investigators: Eps 11-12 (2014)

The Story: High School girls investigate and solve problems in their school. The show is episodic and in these two episodes the girls attempt to help Su Yeon and Eun Bin who have to hide their relationship from their classmates.

Should You Watch?: Yes. I honestly don’t remember much about this one either, but I do remember it being decently done. This show caused a lot of controversy years ago when it aired Korea’s first lesbian kiss ( probably korea’s first same sex kiss period that was a legitimate kiss and not used for laughs). It’s worth checking out to see what caused all the ridiculous uproar.

Wise Prison Life/Prison Playbook: Han Yang (2017)

The Story: Big time baseball player Kim Je Hyuk turns into a crimanal overnight. After he’s convicted, he has to face his new life in prison. He meets some interesting people in prison. Among them is the drug addict Han Yang.

Should You Watch?:  Yes, because the story itself is a really interesting take about a man who goes to prison, meets a lot of different, people, and ultimately makes new friends/family. If you’re just watching for the gay? I’d still have to say yes, despite the fact that Han Yang doesn’t get the happy ending he deserved. Han Yang was one of my favorite characters in this show. I don’t know how he managed it, but I swear Han Yang got funnier as the episodes passed. I was really endeared towards him attempting to kick his drug habit while also trying to salvage his relationship with his ex-boyfriend Ji Won. He had such an interesting story arc, was such an entertaining character, and I didn’t feel like the show ever made fun of him for being gay. This character was just such a joy to watch, I definitely don’t regret watching, even though I wanted more.

Moment at Eighteen: Jung Oh Je  (2019)

The Story: Transfer student Jun Woo has no interest in school life, as he is traumatized from being expelled from bullying. Meanwhile, Soo Bin has been watching Jun Woo all this time. She sees a different side to Jun Woo than the one that other people see. Oh Je, is Jun Woo’s best friend who starts to discover his sexuality.

Should you watch?: Hmmm… sure. Oh Je has a decent side plot. It was interesting to see him figuring out he liked Hwi Young and coming out to his ex girlfriend and his friends. I do wish his story was expanded a little more though. There were several things I would have liked to have seen, like coming out to his family, and I thought they wrapped his story up a little too quickly at the end.

Love with Flaws: Won Suk and Ho Dol (2019)

The Story:  Joo Seo Yeon, is a hot-tempered physical education high school teacher who always wears sneakers, jeans and training uniforms.  The death of her parents helped instill a deep sense of compassion, a generous heart and an outspoken objection for anyone who drinks and drives. Living in a house with three wild and very attractive brothers, she loathes flower boys. Her ideal type is someone who is “not handsome.” Won Suk is one of her handsome older brothers.

Won Suk has closed his heart to relationships and love, but he lives his life as an openly gay man. Ho Dol is closeted and lacks confidence. They meet one night at Won Suk’s bar.

Should you watch?: People have been kind enough to condense Won Suk’s and Ho Dol’s  story into parts on YouTube so yeah, go ahead and check it out.

These two don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but the little they do get is nice. We get to see Won Seok help Ho Dol open up and be more confident with who he is and in turn, Won Seok opens up his heart.

The Bad (you probably shouldn’t waste your time on these ones)

Personal Taste: Director Choi (2010)

The Story: This dramas about a straight guy who pretends to be gay in order to gain access to the blueprints of a woman’s house…or something like that. Director Choi’s specific story revolves around his attempts at courting that guy.

Should You Watch?: Absolutely not. Half of the time the drama equates being a gay man to automatically being feminine, a woman, or not a “real man”. Director Choi is also a good deal older than the male lead and makes several attempts at courting him even though he’s not interested. It kind of came off as the “creepy old gay perv” and that didn’t sit well with me.  I suppose you could skim through the drama to watch Director Choi’s scenes. If sad gay men Is your thing. I just felt bad for the guy most of the time.

Ho Gu’s Love: Kang Chul (2015)

The Story: Ho Gu’s a pushover, a fool, and kind of an idiot. He meets his old classmates and things get a complicated. One day in High School Kang Chul meets Ho Gu’s twin sister and mistakes her for Ho Gu. They spend the day together and she kisses him.  The kiss sparks feelings in Kang Chul. Of course Kang Chul thinks it was Ho Gu who kissed him and years later, when he meets Ho Gu his feelings grow stronger.

Should You Watch?: Yes? Maybe? If you really want to, but mostly…no. With this, I expected that the typical drama set up would happen. Similar to all gender benders, Kang Chul would find out that it wasn’t Ho Gu he kissed. So any feelings he was having for him would immediately get swept under the rug where we could all pretend we never knew his heart fluttered for another man. Imagine my surprise when episode after episode passed and that didn’t happen. We got down to the last few episodes and Kang Chul had admitted to himself that he liked Ho Gu, he came out to his parents, and his coworkers assumed he was gay. The show was actually depicting the struggles of being gay in Korea and it was arguably one of the better storylines for a gay character on Korean t.v., but then the show couldn’t stay strong and they flipped the script. Predictably, Kang Chul finds out it was Ho Gu’s sister he kissed, the show copped out, and lo and behold Kang Chul was straight with no further mentions of any other possible sexuality. Watch it if you’re curious, but be prepared to be extremely disappointed by the end.

Graceful Family: Mo Wan Joon  (2019)

The Story: Blah blah blah, revenge or something- at a point it’s revealed that Mo Wan Joon is a trans woman.

Should you watch?: If you really like revenge melos maybe, but if you’re looking for this show to do something good and offer up some good trans rep? Nope.

Literally nothing about Mo Wan Joon’s story is watchable. I wasn’t even entirely sure the show even knows what being transgender even means. It comes off as more of a plot twist to put the family all in a tizzy more than anything else. They don’t really show much of Wan Joon’s struggle or anything poignant or engaging.

Sweet Munchies: Tae Wan (2020)

The Story: Jin Sung pretends to be a gay chef to film a tv show for money. Tae Hwan, a closeted fashion designer falls for him.

Should you watch?: No. "Everyone loved Personal Taste right? What if we just did that again but with a chef this time?"  This could have been potentially groundbreaking, but by the end of the show the two leads are unlikable and  we just wind up with more sad gay tears. But Lee Hak Joo as Tae Wan? *Chef's kiss*. This man put me through the wringer and he does it so subtly. If you must watch, literally skim through Tae Wan’s parts.

The Good (these are worth the hours of your life you wont get back)

Painter of the Wind (2008)

The Story: Shin Yoon Bok is a talented painter who disguises herself as a boy to search for her father's murderer and meets a master painter who guides her into being a great painter. Kim Hong Do is the man who teaches Yoon Bok how to paint, and they develop a strong friendship of mentor and disciple.

Should You Watch?: Yes. On the surface this sounds pretty straight, but ignore the summary, because yes there’s a loveline between Yoon Bok and her mentor, but the most interesting story here is the loveline between Yoon Bok and a Gisaeng she meets named Jeong Hyang I’ve seen plenty of gender benders, but I’ve never seen one where a woman falls in love with the girl who’s pretending to be a boy. This drama isn’t technically supposed to be gay, but it’s extremely gay when when bisexual Yoon Bok hits on the gisaeng the first time they meet. Yoon Bok finds herself falling in love with the Jeong Hyang too and the love between them comes off as extremely genuine and sincere. I don’t care what that show was trying to tell me, Yoon Bok/Jeong Hyang was the true otp.

Life is Beautiful: Tae Sub and Kyung Soo (2010)

The Story:  A family drama about a blended family. The show focuses heavily on Tae Sub and his boyfriend Kyung Soo

Should You Watch?:  Absolutely. In this drama we actually get to see a same sex couple. There’s not just one gay character or a situation where you have to read between the lines. Tae Sub and Kyung Soo are a gay couple who get to be together and happy and they get screentime! The show focuses on Tae Sub coming out to his family, his family's acceptance/non-acceptance, and Kyungsoo’s family’s non-acceptance as well. We get to see the guys work through their problems together and we get to see how they’re relationship changes and grows. My only complaint about this show is that it aired seven years ago and korea has shown little to no progress in terms of lgbt characters and couples in kdramas since.

Rural Outcasts (2019)

The Story: Sun Hui moves to a small village where she lives her life as Soon Ho until she can make enough money to become her true self. Dong Ja, a feisty 12 year old, breaks into her house one day.

Should you watch? Yes, although, heads up, there’s a cis man playing a trans woman. Found family always makes for a heartwarming story and this one is no different. I loved the bond between Dong Ja and Sun Hui and I loved their mother daughter relationship. Very sweet and heartwarming, but be prepared for some heartbreak too.

[thatgunskid]

Jeff Woods is not as bad as you think (but it's still pretty bad)

A study in how to make a cringy creepypasta character even cringier

               I recently finished my first viewing of Jeff Woods, a webseries formerly part of the Fear Mythos that got uncanonized along with several other stories related to an entity called “The Architect.”  They went and formed their own universe, called The Architectverse, which I may cover in a future entry. The inclusion of scenes from The Architect saga as I have named it (which spans four channels and is extremely confusing if not viewed in context with the other three channels) made to make a story that already overstayed its welcome even longer.  That is not to say that the series is without merit, there were several things I enjoyed, from the inclusion of Jane the Killer (Who didn’t really do much and only showed up in person at the end even though she was hinted to all the way back in Video 4) to Jeff’s younger brother Liu (who thankfully wasn’t written in the same way as his CreepyPasta counterpart) to the way it dealt with Slenderman (who honestly is not a great plot device unto himself but works well as a side character or an ominous presence and thank God not in any fan-fictiony way).  Keep in mind that it may seem like I am being overly kind at the start, but that’s because this series was made at the start by twelve and thirteen-year-olds, so a small amount of cringe is to be expected. I will be keeping a running tally of horror webseries tropes and appearances of Slenderman.

               The series opens with Jeff and Logan, who appear to have been best friends for years and are going to keep in touch by uploading videos to the same youtube channel talking to each other a la vlogbros back in the day.  And right out the gate, within the first six videos we have no less than five horror tropes [check total video time on this]. First one is kind of meta, it’s the naming conventions of the videos, Test Video, Video 1.avi, etc.  Then we have a typical found footage camera test, driving footage twice, and white text on a black background. The latter shows up an awful lot in this series, and while I don’t have a problem with it per se, it becomes an issue when used in conjunction with the character using it speaking to the camera SECONDS BEFOREHAND.  Aside from these issues, the series starts out strong, establishing who the characters are, why we should care about them, (despite them being a bit cringe but again, they were 12-13 at the time so). We’re introduced to Jeff’s main antagonist for Arc 1, the leader of the bully gang, Kyler, who has no real reason to bully the new kid other than plot.  This is where my issues with the story really start to come out. In Video 6.avi, Jeff’s brother Liu gets attacked with a knife by Kyler’s gang, Jeff tries to defend him, and Jeff is the one to get in trouble, even having to appear in court DESPITE HAVING RECORDED THE INCIDENT ON HIS CAMERA. Then, two days before he is set to appear in court, the gang breaks into Jeff’s house and tries to kill him.  He gets pushed into the water heater and somehow it explodes (which wouldn’t happen unless they shorted the power to the inside of the heater somehow), destroying his camera and burning his face in the process. Then Jeff goes all murder-hobo and kills all the kids in the gang, with Chris and Kyler managing to escape. I’m going to skip to the video Message at this point, where Jeff does Jeff things, fights with Logan because everyone is against him apparently, and who should appear but old Diddle Fingers himself, complete with audio and video distortion.  Then nothing much of note happens, Logan meets up with Kyler to go find Jeff and talk some sense into him, they break into Jeff’s house, Jeff threatens Logan’s family, Jeff fights Logan again and brings Jeff to Slenderman, and Kyler and Jeff both disappear. Jeff is being chased by a group called The Sentience, kind of a Slenderman Cult, and they want him to become one of their gods by dying and being reborn. Jeff meets Alex from North Woods (another of the Architectverse series and the first that he interacts with), and Derek, the secondary protagonist for the series shows up.  His whole deal is that he’s trying to save his brother from Jeff, an admirable goal but he goes about it in all the wrong way. Granted everything in this universe works kind of the opposite way you would think, but there you go. Anyway, it is revealed that Jeff went off his meds, Jeff attacks Logan again, and kills him, saying “I don’t need friends” showing us that he really is beyond saving. Derek starts uploading to Jeff’s channel (which I will discuss my opinion on later) and giving us background for a lot of the events that happened (it is in his second video that it is revealed the water heater exploded).

               In what I am dubbing the second arc of the series, Jeff starts fighting a masked guy who is linked with Edward from Sirens in the Night named Reaper, who is looking for masks for some reason.  Jeff finds one of the gang who escaped, kills him, kills Liu after Liu trying to stop him (also underage drinking, don’t do that kids). Logan survives, attacks Jeff with a knife, loses, Jeff pulls a Habit and murders him to a song.  We find out that Jeff, Edward, Alex, and the guy from Mayhem Theory (the other main Architectverse story) are all marked for something. Jeff finds a mystical shiny thing and takes it, it turns into a burned stick. Derek tries to attack Jeff but they get teleported away.  Then we find out that Jeff is being controlled by The Virus, he attacks Derek and Chris, Chris ended up stabbed, Jeff ended up shot, according to Alex the west coast got nuked (the first of many nukings), Edward’s channel got taken over, and Mayhem Theory bowed out of all the craziness after discovering that he lives in an alternate universe.  Jeff calls out Derek and they fight, Derek gets saved by Zero from Sirens, Slenderman teleports Jeff to Texas. Zero shows up again, shoots Jeff who doesn’t have his powers, the Virus comes back and Jeff teleports home, passing out in his garage. He wakes up to the news that Alex and his gang nuked Texas to kill Jeff even though they were working together literally five videos earlier.  Then in the most ambitious crossover event before Infinity War, Alex, Edward, and Jeff find The Architect, fight him, and kill him ultimately. It is also revealed that Zero was Edward from another universe. Then for some reason Alex is killed by Edward. Then Jeff packs up a box of tapes, says he is going home, and leaves the camera in the middle of the road. He also calls out Derek and Derek feels like he has lost.

               In what I’m calling Arc 3, Derek has been scouring all of the old videos for a lead to where Jeff has gone.  He finds a clue in Logan saying that Jeff used to live near him, so if he can find Logan’s house, he can find Jeff.  He finds a girl in the woods wearing all black, finds a diary in a box in the woods. It belongs to Jane, and details how Jeff killed her family by burning their house down, and dates that prove she was around the whole time.  Jane steals her diary back, and runs away after discovering that Jeff is still alive. He eventually finds him by following a blood trail through the woods (later revealed to be Jane’s). Jeff breaks his arm, and gets shot in the gut.  Then Jeff gets his back broken by the Virus. Then we find out that Jeff isn’t really dead, Derek finds his old house, gets a box of tapes with everyone’s name on them. Kyler’s tape just shows Derek and Chris near Kyler before he gets killed (even though it didn’t happen).  The tape with Chris and Derek’s names on it won’t play. Jane’s tape shows her getting stabbed in the gut moments before Derek showed up. Logan’s tape shows a different version of Video 6 than we saw, it showed Logan talking about Jeff burning down Jane’s house. The Virus went after him because he knew too much.  Jeff’s tape shows the first time the Virus took over Jeff. He murders some kid in the park and finds a note telling him that he needs the Virus. Jeff shows up, kidnaps Chris, and Derek chases him. He shoots Jeff in the leg, fights him, then kills him for real this time. Derek sits near the lake contemplating life, then tosses the diary into the lake.  Then they decide they need to GTFO (because doing that earlier just wouldn’t make sense), Derek finds Jane’s diary outside the house soaking wet. Jane wants Derek dead because she was supposed to kill Jeff, she kidnaps Chris and Derek gives chase again, finally finds him in the garage. Jane knocks him out, then monologues at him after Waking up. She leaves to kill Chris, Derek breaks out of his bonds, grabs the gun, Jane kills Chris, then gets shot in the face. He reads a note from Jeff that tells him they really aren’t all that different. The series closes on Derek driving away and police sirens blaring in the background.

               So like I said at the start, there are good things in this series.  It began brimming with the potential for a fresh take on Jeff the Killer.  What we got was typical edgy thirteen year olds not knowing what to do with the source material they had, and the potential then suffered for it.  One of my biggest gripes is that Derek was uploading to the same channel as Jeff. From a logistical standpoint it makes sense, easier to upload and all that, but it kind of takes you out of the immersion.  Why are they both uploading to the same channel? Why doesn’t Jeff lock Derek out? Another gripe I had was that the majority of Arc 2 could have been skipped and nothing would have been lost storywise. And the shit that people give them, nuking Texas and all that, wasn’t even Jeff that did it, it was just mentioned as something that someone associated with Jeff did and people assume that means that Jeff was responsible.  Anyway long story short Jeff Wods is objectively bad, but there were parts that genuinely made me think it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and then some parts that just made me cringe to much. All in all I give it a solid 4.5/10 for wasted potential.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

KAT VON D SHARES THE UNEXPECTED INFLUENCES BEHIND HER LONG-AWAITED DEBUT ALBUM ‘LOVE MADE ME DO IT’

The glamorous gothic queen of art, tattoos, business and beauty now redirects her attention to her original passion – music.

Kat Von D has been a staple in alternative culture and pop culture as a whole ever since first exploding onto the scene in the reality television show ‘Miami Ink’ and then promptly securing her own series, ‘LA Ink’, at her home in Hollywood. Quick to prove herself as far more than just another bland reality TV star, Von D built an empire around her interests and established a unique brand of tattoo artistry, best-selling books, art galleries, clothing lines, and most notably, a massively successful and world-renowned beauty line.

But what most people don’t realize about Von D is that out of everything she’s sunken her teeth into and made business ventures out of, her first and most consistent passion has been music. She’s been a constant presence in the world of rock and metal for quite some time – and not just because she’s dated musicians like Nikki Sixx and Deadmau5 and is married to Rafael Reyes of Prayers. She’s been classically trained on the piano since she was a child, practicing every day and growing an appreciation for all different genres as she’s grown older.

Much like her dedication to veganism and animal rights, Von D has a significant place in her heart for music, adorning her body with tattoos of multiple acts like the Misfits, AC/DC, Slayer, Guns N’ Roses, ZZ Top, and appearing in numerous music videos for bands such as HIM, Alkaline Trio, and Gunship. In 2008, she founded the MusInk Tattoo Convention and Music Festival, which has featured artists like Suicidal Tendencies, Limp Bizkit, The Used, Hatebreed, NOFX, Bad Religion, Deftones and more. She’s even had an entire song written for her by Eagles of Death Metal. Needless to say, her street cred in the scene is well established.

She’s now set to release her debut album, entitled ‘Love Made Me Do It’, a project that has been nearly a decade in the making. Described as “a pastiche of shapeshifting analog synths, post-punk dreamscapes, gothic hues, and shy pop magnetism”, the record deals with heartbreak, disillusionment, and ultimately enlightenment. While some might be expecting a hard-hitting, in-your-face type of attitude, Von D opts for a moodier and more atmospheric feel to her music that rides on soaring synth waves and danceable beats. Joining her are bandmates Gregg Foreman, Sammi Doll, Dave Parley, and Brynn Route, as well as notable collaborators Dave Grohl, Linda Perry, Dave Sitek, Peter Murphy, Danny Lohner, Ladyhawke and Charo.

In a conversation with Knotfest, Kat Von D discusses the many inspirations behind her music and unique sound, the artistry that goes into crafting not only her songs but her music videos and live performances as well, and shares some personal stories like the time she and her husband hit up a Rage Room and a week-long horror movie marathon she undertook with a friend.

What made this the right time to finally release your debut album?

Kat Von D – Music has always been a big part of my life and although most people know me from tattooing, they actually don’t know that music has been kind of the most consistent thing in my life. I’ve been not only classically trained since the age of five, but I’ve been playing with my friends’ bands and singing on all my talented friends’ albums and stuff like that. So I’m not a stranger to it but I think that a lot of people are not familiar with me having some form of musicianship. They’re like, “What? She’s coming out with music?” So it could be a little confusing to some people but like everything else I’ve ever done, I’ve always said the proof is in the final product. I’m not here trying to be like a celebrity just slapping my name on something and you know, collecting a check and not really caring about it. I want music to be my main focus in life. I’m not sure if this is the right time, to be honest. I feel like I probably should have released this album ten years ago when I wrote it, but I think life just got in the way. I was filming the TV show and going on book tours and just allowing all these other other forms of expression to kind of get in the way of focusing on music. Basically like a year and a half ago I decided to sell my makeup line so that I could have the time to go on tour and really give the music the attention it needs. And then obviously last year everything kind of got turned upside down and everybody was put to a halt. So I’ve just been waiting within this last year for everything to open up again so that we can go on tour and finally release the album.

How do you go about mixing your unique brand of alternative style with the kind of synth pop sound you’ve got going on?

Kat Von D – I think a lot of my fans and followers were expecting me to come out with like, metal just because I’m a huge fan of metal and I think people kind of know me for liking that music. But I also love a lot of darkwave and I love analog synthesizers and I’m a huge fan of post-punk era music. I love Depeche Mode, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, that kind of stuff. I feel like when it comes to the music that I want to create it’s more along the lines of that. I love poetry, I love strong lyrics and soulful singing. I love Arch Enemy, but my voice does not lend itself to sing like Alissa [laughs] so I know where I belong.

It’s interesting also because like you were saying, you have your scene with metal and rock and all that stuff, but at the same time, you’ve also always been this kind of like, pop culture icon with LA Ink and everything.

Kat Von D – Yeah, I love pop structure. I’m not a big fan of pop music per se, but I do love the structure of songwriting and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. For us, I feel like we do have pop elements in our music but there’s definitely a darkness to it. Even in a lot of synthwave bands that I love, they tend to sound a lot happier than what we’re producing. I like to live in the more melancholy world. I don’t know how to write a happy love song.

There’s a consistent sound throughout the songs but each one still distinctly feels like it takes inspiration from different genres and eras. There’s definitely that predominantly 80s kind of sound.

Kat Von D – Yeah, especially the drum sounds and not just the synthesizers. I think we only have one song that actually has guitar in it. I really love that era but I also think that when my bandmates and I write songs, we don’t sit there with like, a reference. Like, “Oh, I really like this song, let me try to do a version of it.” We actually just start from scratch and we do a lot of sound design, finding specific synth sounds that are not presets in any way. It doesn’t feel dated to me. I feel like there’s a bit of a modern take on the 1980s I guess, and I think that’s important. We’re not trying to be Depeche Mode or any of those other bands that I mentioned, although you might feel the sentiment of that era.

That instrumental breakdown in ‘Fear You’ is so good, that’s very much in my lane. And that part of the music video looks dangerous as hell!

Kat Von D – Thank you, I love that too. I wanted to do a violent video because I feel like all of our other videos were beautiful. I was thinking, how do we create violence without hurting a person, or violence towards somebody versus like, inanimate objects, you know? So I had taken my husband to this thing called a Rage Room. You can rent these rooms and you buy different packages and you can just break break shit. We obviously got bored after like the first 15 minutes [laughs] but I can see how that could be therapeutic. That was a really cool experience so why not take that experience and make that into a music video?

Did you guys have any protection while you were smashing stuff?

Kat Von D – What’s funny is everybody didn’t want to wear protection, they were like, “we’ll wear some sunglasses”. Dave Parley, our drummer, was the only one that didn’t wear sunglasses and for a minute we thought he got a piece of glass in his eye. Thankfully it was just like, a dust particle but I was like “Oh my god don’t do this, Dave!” [laughs] I think aside from that we might have gotten a few little nicks and cuts but nothing crazy. We did use real glass, there was only a few prop glasses, like the sugar glass. I actually posted a video of Sammi, one of my synth players, breaking a bottle over my head and people were like, “Oh my god, that’s so crazy.” It literally felt like a kitty cat just whispered into my ear. [laughs] Those things break if you just like, squeeze them. I got those red glass skulls made and those were made out of the sugar glass, but other than that we do all our own stunts.

In the music video for Exorcism, you wrote that the song was partially inspired by a week long exorcism-themed movie binge.

Kat Von D – With my friend, Kevvy. We actually ended up writing another song together called Lost At Sea that’s on the album. He’s a huge horror fan and I am too, we’ve seen like, every single one. There’s so many terrible ones. It’s crazy. But there’s a lot of really great ones too and I was fascinated by the concept of demonic possession because it seems like there’s a pattern within every culture and every era in history that calls to some form of possession and exorcism. I just find it so weird that in an era like today, where we have cell phone cameras and all this stuff, you never actually see any footage on YouTube. It’s never like in the movies, you know? I think it’s like this romanticized idea of surrendering control to an outside force. I feel like people write a lot of love songs about the correlation between love and death or love and drugs or addiction. I just wanted to take it one step further and do a song about love that was in correlation with a demonic possession because I think that’s how I felt in the past a lot. It’s like you’re no longer in control or you don’t feel in control and you’ve given this power to somebody that may not be the greatest thing for you.

From that movie binge, which ones were your favorite and which ones were the absolute worst?

Kat Von D – I feel like I’ve subconsciously blocked out the worst ones. I think the worst ones were always like a Blair Witch-style filming, you know? One of my favorites through that marathon was one with Anthony Hopkins called The Rite. I love Anthony Hopkins obviously, who doesn’t? It was shot beautifully and it was the most realistic possession scenes. I don’t want to spoil it but there’s a giant twist at the end which I think was really different than every other exorcism movie out there. I think all of it was shot in Italy, so it’s a very beautiful background. Anthony Hopkins plays an exorcist. I loved The Exorcism of Emily Rose, but I would consider that more like a court case movie. It was so compelling, I think I cried at one point. I didn’t know that there was a part two and three to the original The Exorcist, and I had read the reviews prior to watching and everybody was talking shit about these movies. I thought they were so great. I love part two especially, I love the kind of origin story of Egypt and when you think about that era, they had pretty good CGI effects in that movie. So I gave those a thumbs up.

Were there any other kind of movie inspirations that helped guide the direction of the album?

Kat Von D – So Gregg Foreman AKA Mr. Pharmacist, he’s my other synth player and we’re both huge fans of John Carpenter, especially all the scores for most of his movies. I feel like there is inspiration behind some of those sounds that you find on the album, but as far as inspiration from movies, it was more for the music videos. For the Exorcism video, that one was really inspired by one of my favorite directors, Alejandro Jodorowsky. He did The Holy Mountain and El Topo and Santa Sangre. El Topo was my favorite just because the aesthetic way you would see these like, black silhouettes. The opening scene, for example, is this man in black on a black horse with a black umbrella just cruising through the desert. It was like putting together two things that didn’t belong together and I love that. For the music video for Enough there were definitely some Fellini inspirations with the props of the ocean where we’re kind of like, rowing through the storm and it’s a little bit campy, but in a good way. I don’t feel like the Fear You music video was inspired by any movie in particular, I just had a really clear idea of what I wanted the storyline to be. I love movies, or good movies at least. [laughs]

Do you feel like music videos kind of went away and then steadily came back with stuff like YouTube?

Kat Von D – I don’t know, I think that there are a lot of videos but the filming process for us has been pretty brutal because I don’t tend to do like, the lip syncing videos. I think that’s what the majority of people do, whether it’s hip hop or even metal. It’s like, okay, cool, you’re gonna do a fake performance and then we’re gonna lip sync and we’re gonna have some smoke and stroke. I don’t have any interest in doing that. For me, I’ve always loved music videos that have a narrative. Those just take a lot of time and energy and I can understand why bands don’t do them, but I like these little mini films. It kind of helps storytell the music more than just doing a performance piece. I think there’s creative ways of doing the performance pieces as well, I’m not gonna knock that, but to me, I’m not interested in just shooting a bunch of lip syncing all the time.

It helps show the artistry behind it. I like when artists go the extra mile.

Kat Von D – Me too. It’s funny because I really like our band, we get along so great and we love each other. We always laugh because we’re like The Munsters because we have a contortionist in our band and she looks like Marilyn Munster and then Gregg’s like Herman and so we’re this really weird little kooky family and stuff. I feel like everybody’s so extremely attractive in their own way. When I think of music videos, I always think about different parts that I want to create for each band member. Like, “Oh, this would be a really good scene for Sammi or for Dave.” In the music video for Exorcism, we actually got a stunt crew to come out and put us into those harnesses to make the bandmates fly into the air for those jumping scenes. Then we had to remove the little wires and stuff in post. My drummer always wears this leather fringe fanny pack and then he’s got this long beard and hair and I just want to see that flowing in the wind. It was my favorite jump scene out of all of them.

I just wanted to add that your work concerning animal rights is commendable. Dominion, in particular, that’s an incredibly affecting movie. If everyone was able to view that, you know, maybe things could change faster. I don’t know how you learn and see these things and not be changed by it.

Kat Von D – For sure, there’s definitely some trauma behind all that, I mean you could only imagine. But I always just commend Shaun Monson, because he’s dedicated his life to making those movies. He worked on Earthlings as well and those are just so, so brutal. But thank you, that’s very sweet.

And just so we don’t end on a bummer note, what kind of show can audiences expect to see on your upcoming concert dates?

Kat Von D – I’m a huge fan of going to see bands play and my biggest pet peeve is when you really love a band and you go and see them and it’s just like, a guy standing at a mic. So I definitely want to create an experience, especially with visuals. Like I said, I have a contortionist in my band who’s amazing and she’s part of our group. She is actually going to be playing some sounds but she’ll be moving her body in a crazy way that you won’t even be able to understand. We’ve been shooting all of our live visuals with Linda Strawberry, who does all the art directing for Smashing Pumpkins and a bunch of other bands. Her and I really see eye to eye on finding the beauty in the dark stuff. So we’ve actually been filming and prepping all of the light works and for the LED panels and everything else that we’re doing.I think people are gonna be in for a visual treat. I like that that’s just one other way of storytelling for music and I think that’s how you should be able to present your music to the world. To go back to my bandmates, it’s like they’re all superstars in their own way. I feel like they already have their own fans as well. I’m not interested in just shining a spotlight on myself, we’re all going to be doing some crazy things onstage. We’re like the goth Power Rangers.

[hachibe]

thoughts on The Legend Of Korra season 3:

for the amount of ranting in this you wouldn’t believe this to be my favourite season ^.^

- oh look! it’s almost as if Korra decided to keep the portals open without thinking of the consequences.

- i’m gonna be upfront and say that i hate that 1) people now just can airbend 2) Bumi can airbend. about #1 i think is kind of stupid, there was no need for more people to be able to airbend (if you disregard Zaheer). and i have this whole rant about the air nomads being reduced to airBENDERS in tlok. and i’ll rant about it when the time comes. what really bothers me is #2. because the whole essence of Bumi’s story is that he thinks he is not good enough because he can’t bend, because he is a regular guy, so instead of giving him a story where he learns his value they decided to just give him bending! like, srly!!!? because people only have value if they can bend? and it’s almost like, did s1 even happened? yes, Amon was a hypocrite but the issue with the non benders were/is still real. but the narrative refuses to acknowledge this! they are all like “what, no! i don’t know her” to this whole issue.

- and i still don’t understand how the spirits prowling the world should fit (or not) with this modern world. that’s a freaking awesome story right there to be tell but the narrative just refuses to deal with it because look! there’s airbenders now so let’s focus all the season on that. and like we did with s1 let’s forget that whatever happened that season had any consequences whatsoever! Korra was just like “fuck this, let’s search more airbenders because fuck this city, who cares anyway?”

- (me from the future: yes, i agree that tlok did a disservice to the portrayal of spirits that we had in atla. instead of unknowable creatures beyond our comprehension we got fluffy cute little creatures who could be good or evil. in a very black and white christian reductionist take. and i should have talked about this in the s2 notes. BUT the spirits are still here, this is something that is happening in the time of s3 but the narrative refuses to deal with it. it shows the audience that the spirits are there, they did caused some disturbance, there are vines in the city and people’s lives are getting disturbed by it. but this is the maximum of what we get from this. (i haven’t started s4 yet, i think there is some talk about it there, i’ll revisit the subject if it’s necessary.) and not once the narrative spends time exploring the implications of living in this modern world, that is constantly changing, that sees technologies and innovations as monoliths of good. we don’t get to see the spirits having to deal with this world. nor the humans having to deal with the spirits and reconciling it with their new modern life. and we never see the consequences in the lives of these people, or of this nation as a whole; or the contrast of the life in this nation as opposed to the other ones. and atla did such an amazing job of showing the world entrenched in colonialism and it’s consequences, not only to one nation but every nation. we saw what colonialism did to the southern water tribe, but we also saw what it did the fire nation. but tlok just drops a bunch of ideas and story lines and then just go focus on other things)

- should i talk about Zaheer? I love Zaheer. s3 is my favourite one because of him. I know, i just spend 2 paragraphs complaining about it. But i think Zaheer is fascinating. To me, with all the writings shortcomings he is still the best villain tlok had. his potential, ma man? i live for that. 

- i want Mako’s job btw, i want to just call my boss and say “hey, so, i’m gonna go on a trip with ma friends, idk when i’ll be back, see ya. don’t forget to mail me the paychecks!!!” ALSO, Mako is such a COP™! Let’s threaten this 13 yo orphan kid that had to rely on a life of petty crime in order to survive. it’s not like Mako himself isn’t an orphan and hadn’t gone through basically the same thing.

- the writers might not have given the red lotus a deep and meaningful story  and a rewarding narrative arch but they look COOL AS FUCK! SRLY, all 4 of them are the coolest looking characters in this whole series.

- the kid runs away in BA SING fucking SE and they send 2 people to look for him. yes!, i’m wasting a comment on this.

- (i saw someone implying that Mako and Bolin’s grandma is that girl Zuko went on a date once. do we know that for sure? note to self: remember to check that later)

- ok, so before we meet Suyin i think i need to talk about why i don��t like this “you’re an airbender, you’re an airbender, everybody is an airbender now” story line. the only real reason for it that i see is that the narrative needs Zaheer to be a airbender. and i get it, they really need it. i guess you can’t explain why only one guy can now suddenly airbend, so a bunch of other people now can too. so i think my issue is not that opening the portals brought back airbending to the world. is more on the fact that so far the narrative acts like airbending is the essence of being an air nomad. Tenzin has lived his whole life with this HUGE burden, trying to hold the single torch of an entire culture, god knows if he only ditched Lin to be with Pema because Pema could get him kids so he had a chance of passing his blood and bending skills to a next generation.  but this is kind of stupid, man! Tenzin is the only of Aang’s kids who can airbend but Kya and Bumi still carry airbending (and air nomads) genes! Idk how genetics in the avatar world works but i think is not that different from our world. Kya and Bumi’s kids could still be air benders. Kya and Bumi are still half air nomads, in the same way that Tenzin is half air nomad. and in tlok is like the whole air nomad culture is reduced to air bending.

- like, take the water tribes for example. Sokka didn’t bend, his parents and the rest of his family aside from Katara didn’t bend. that didn’t make them less water tribe. being a water tribe was not only about water bending. Toph’s parents couldn’t earthbend either, that didn’t made them less influential citizens of the earth kingdom. Mai’s parents all normal people, still powerful fire nation politicians. each nation had their own culture and that wasn’t reduced to their specific bending. so why it is not the same with the air nomads?

- Aang had being collecting “fans” since one of the first comics (i don’t remember which one). actually, i might say he’s being collecting those fans (that later became the air acolytes) since Kyoshi’s Island episode back in atla s1. and we see in the comics how he had being teaching them the air nomads philosophies and life style. and i understand that bending is important and that air bending is in a brink of extinction but i don’t understand how all these other people (the air acolytes) can’t be considered air nomads. let’s say, i move to australia, learn the local language, eat the local food, have kids and raise them in australia, we all have the same costumes as any other australians, why can’t i be consider australian as well?

- and sure, they are not the “real” air nomads, but i wouldn’t be picky if you are all facing extinction. and to be honest Tenzin is not “real” air nomad either because he is MIXED! he is still half water tribe, he didn’t born out of Aang’s forehead! Tenzin’s kids? All not “real” air nomads either, if we are going to ignore Tenzin if half air nomad, we still need to assume Pema is earth kingdom (or is she fire nation? since her eyes are golden. her eyes are golden, right?) And not only Aang could have had his two other kids be good leaders for the air nomads, could have taught them their history, life style, culture. instead of leaving all the burden on Tenzin’s shoulder. why couldn’t Aang have choose good leaders from the air acolytes? instead all we get from them is stupid servants. Pema included. i refuse to believe that anyone who was ever interested in air nomad culture and seeked Air Temple Island (and whatever other places) were all simpletons who never had any critical thoughts on their heads. they were all taught in air nomad culture and history (we see one of them answering all of Tenzin’s questions) but they are treated as servants. as a matter of fact we see Tenzin treat them as inferiors. and i guess this is the whole non benders issue from s1 back again. 

- (me from the future here: i just watched a video essay on youtube about genetics and bending in the avatar world and they said that is mentioned that all air nomads were air benders, the reason being that they were all more connected to their spiritual side. and OKAY, but i still think that most of my points still stand. if you are breeding sky bisons for a while now and you have a bunch of people willing to connect to their spiritual side and follow air nomad culture and life style, why can’t you have them learn air bending from the original air benders, the sky bisons, again? why did it have to be given for free like that? it’s so reducing! and poor! and if you wanted Zaheer to be able to air bend have him learn from the sky bisons! have him be an air acolyte who took the teachings of a air bender Guru to an extreme)

- idk what to say man. I will admit that all this don't piss me off as much as Suyin's story line, that’s for sure.

- so let's focus on Zaheer pretending to be an innocent new airbender seeking knowledge. He is a natural! And why it is that? Because that's a guy who is interested, who learned, who likes and admires and tries to live by air nomad philosophy. a lot of people critique this season because they thought it was stupid to have this guy who never bended before be so good ans skilled in airbending. and okay sure, but it always made so much sense to me because he is a guy who admires the life and teachings of the air nomads. that’s a guy who studied, and not just studied but lives his life according to those teachings. and that makes him a beautiful foil to Tenzin, who is this nerd bookish man, who is a scholar, who knows the teachings but don’t really live by them. ii don’t want to minimize Tenzin or call him a bad air bender (or air nomad. at this point what’s the difference?). but i love to see this contrast of this guy who struggles every step of the way and this other guy, who is a natural but will never be consider a master. their fight gives me the chills.

- I can't even talk about this because Suyin is getting in the way and this whole story just makes me. 

- i don’t resent her existence. in my head she is Sokka’s child, no one can convince me otherwise. but the way they wrote her is just awful. 

- did she just said that the idea of having an Earth Queen is outdated? While she rules a city of her own? AS THEIR QUEEN? and she's harbouring Varrick! "Sure he made a few mistakes in the past but that doesn't mean he should pay for it the rest of his life" sure let's not address the fact that he is only in her house doing business with her because he has business to do (if Varrick was a poor fellow who committed a crime and escaped prison he for sure wouldn’t have the same treatment. and i’m flabbergasted that Lin didn’t arrested him right there). Let's bring in the maglev and forgive the crimes he committed and lives that were lost because of him. Capitalism don't exist in the world of Avatar. Who da fack wrote this? (Oh this particular episode was Michael Dante DiMartino, so there's that)

- i’m not even gonna talk about the disrespect that this whole story does to Lin. This woman don't deserve this . FOR REAL!

- look, I get it, I agree people shouldn't be paying for mistakes or crimes they committed and have being repenting for 30 years. But the thing is, instead of apologising to Lin for what she did she just says "oh you should get over yourself, it's been 30 years, that's why you're an old bitter lady, no wonder Tenzin broke up with you!" and everyone treats Lin like she’s in the wrong. BITCH WTF!!!!????? (Suyin later apologises but not for the right things, she says “sorry i gave you grief when we were young” and honey, that’s not it!)

- and then Lin is like "cured" having kale juice and wearing those silly Zaofu clothes. Honestly! WHO DA FACK WROTE THIS?

- the fight scenes are all bloody impressive tho. the red lotus knows how to work together and they are all amazing.

- and P'Li? I would die for that woman.

- Ming-hua and Ghazan naming the constellations and coming up with stories about the guards ❤️ Also, 2 out of 3! so which one we think is the wrong one? Of course the unspoken attraction between the two is true. So that leaves us with ‘raised by sister’ and ‘had moustache by age of 10′. Place your bets fellas!

- that thing with the Earth Queen? That thing shook people. We were shooked™️ with the s1 finale and we were unearthed when she died. I still can't hardly believe.

- wait a minute, are you telling me that Tonraq, Korra's father, fought together with Zuko and Sokka and managed to imprison all 4 members of the red lotus but never learned what they were called? You are telling me that Guru Laghima fanboy Zaheer that can't shut up about it never dropped his spiel about caos is the natural order of the world? He never mentioned to every single guard who went to feed him that they are called the red lotus? And that this never reached the ears of Tonraq?

- fuck Zaheer but I'm different

- I find it very homophobic that even uncle Iroh we get to see several times, but Sokka only once in a flashback :(

- this fight with the cloudbabies and the red lotus? I get chills every single time. And Tenzin never stopping? Never giving up? 😭

- let go of your earthly tether, enter the void, empty and become wind.

- did you think that the Earth Queen's death was horrible? I present to you P'Li’s.

- i do love the fight scene at the end. i love and it breaks my heart that Korra fights every single second of it, with the poison and with Zaheer. and in the end she remains broken. 

- i love the moment when Tenzin decides that the new air nomads will be roaming the earth trying to bring balance. even if we can later debate the morality of it, i love that he takes this decision out of his own desire to help. he finds a meaning for his people based on the needs of the world right now and not trough a guideline he learned from his father. i really love Tenzin in that moment, and Jinora’s ceremony may or may not have brought tears to my eyes.

- overall i do love this season, mostly because of Zaheer and the red lotus. the writers made a huge mistake in making Zaheer and his philosophy so hypocritical. the same happened with Amon. in order to make them the villains the writers wrote them so hypocritical that it invalidates what they were fighting for. the non benders and benders issue is still big and present, the story just refuses to talk about it. the tirany and the corruption of the systems of government are still very real and still very there in Korra’s world, but the narrative don’t discuss it, or when it does it gives the most bland simplistic take. I do love Zaheer tho, as a character, and what he represents to air nomads and air benders culture, and the role he plays in Tenzin’s arch (even if it’s in a more covert way). i also think that by the standdars of his philosophy he was justified in trying to it makes sense for him to try and kill Korra, she is somehow a world leader and afterall an authority figure. i do resent that the writers made him a bad anarchist. for all the talk he had of freeing the earth kingdom people of their tiranic ruler he did fail in giving the people the means of taking over the government. you don’t simply dismantle a system by killing a monarch. that is a very simplistic view of anarchism and social revolutions for that matter.

- (little note in the finale, that i just realised now: wasn’t the poison made of platinum or something? a metal metalbenders can’t bend? how come Suyin can just bend it out of Korra’s body? is this going on the list of countless things Suyin can do because she is PeRfEcT ? also, the guy putting the poison in Korra’s body, wasn’t him bending the poison? is he just a nameless dude who miraculously can bend a metal no one else can? or is he a waterbender and was only able to bend the poison on Korra’s body because it’s a liquid? if so, why was it Suyin the one to take the poison out and not Kya, a waterbender AND someone versed in healing bending? make it make sense tlok!!!)

[regrettablewritings]

Dios Meme-o! (Rafael Barba Mini-Series, Pt. 3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Rafael’s poisons of choice (coffee and scotch) could be divided up between day and night respectively. The coffee was for obvious reasons: To keep him awake and alert, to keep him going even when his work day was driving him to the brink of insanity (as it did all too often). The use of the scotch was also typically obvious: To drown out the stresses of the day, its trials hardly ever actually being over in the grand scheme of things. A cool down of sorts to balance out the caffeinated upper.

This evening, however? Rafael wasn’t sure exactly what the scotch was trying to boot off: the stress of the workday, or the revelation that he now appeared to have a small following? He decided the answer to be both as he took another sip of his drink. He wanted to believe that it was more so the former option but there was just something about the latter that made it stand so firmly in his mind.

Probably had something to do with the fact that even after the messages sent to him about his occupation and . . . tum (Rafael fought off the desire to shudder at the word), Carisi and Rollins continued to send him two more posts of a similar vein.

Where were they even specifically even getting all these? Rafael wondered. His eyes landed on his laptop.

Words and pictures travel fast, Rollins’ voice echoed. But just how fast was what Rafael wondered.

Against his better judgement, he committed a dangerous act born of morbid curiosity, enhanced by the slow but certain influx of bourbon into his system: He typed his own name into Google.

The first few results were what he expected: References to his past cases, articles on his most recent feats of interest, a handful of articles on his words at the most recent press conference.  

. . . Then there was what came after.

Rafael had heard about Tumblr, but not much if he had to be honest. Sites like Twitter or Facebook or other niche sites tended to be more of what he faced on a regular basis. But a site specifically platformed for blogging surprisingly did not cross his path as often as one might think. It therefore posed within him a sense of worry that the first time he would approach Tumblr would be because his name had become a tag on the site.

He was right to worry.

The deep blue background was offset by an assault on the eyes: text posts here, pictures there, gif sets of his past quotes to cameras before or after a court case, but mostly of him during his speech at the press conference.

His eyes weren’t sure where to look first, where to escape from first but no matter where he went, he’d always end up somewhere just as bizarre.

Some posts were weird –

“God those hands – like fricken’ face-huggers! I want them to smother me!!!” Without thinking, Rafael looked at his hands. He never really noted them as being big, per se. And despite the copious amounts of likes and reblogs featured in the notes section, and that nobody could even see them as they were now in real life, he couldn’t help but want to hide them.

At least three more Tum™ posts in either text or picture form with quadruple the notes and responses. In that moment, he began to strongly consider dieting and nearly opened up a new tab to research for that specific consideration.

“Lookit them veins in his hand. I wanna suck a hickey on them. Just slurp ‘em up like noodles.” . . . What?

Some were surprisingly nice, if not composed in a more bombastic way than what he felt was necessary or was used to –

“Oh, look at his tie!! I love that pattern!!” He had to admit, he himself was quite fond that the pink paisley tie they spoke of.

“Holy crap, you guys, he has green eyes! GREEN FREAKING EYES!!!” A little excited over something he’d considered uninteresting, but Rafael couldn’t stop the faint flutter of pride bubbling within him.

“His hair looks so smooth. He needs to be allowed to grow his hair out, he’d have beautiful long hair!” That made his lips purse. His hair hadn’t been long since high school, and even then it barely reached his shoulders. Frankly, his hair tended to get a little fluffy the longer it grew anyway.

“Handsome, dresses nicely, works hard, is a feminist – guys, I think I’m in love.” Yet another huge jump over something he didn’t consider to be too big of a deal. (But at least this person appeared to have decent standards.)

“Ok but it should be illegal to work a suit like that.” The self-importance fluttered a bit harder, both for the suggestion that he not only looked good, but for the fact that the ensembles he prided himself on were actually appreciated by complete strangers.

“Steal his look”, complete with clothes and accessories very similar to his own but for a fraction of the cost (how economic of them).

– Before dipping right back into weirdness . . .

“D.A. stands for ‘Dat Azz’” proclaimed Foodlemynoodle, who was ever so kind as to include a photo taken by the press of Rafael’s retreating form with a second picture edited to focus specifically on his ass.

“Barba looks like the type of guy who’s a stern lawyer in the streets but a spicy papi in the sheets <3.” There was so much wrong with that suggestion that Rafael didn’t know where to start.

“don’t you just wanna use his tie to tug him down and make out w/him?” The multiple notes responded all agreed. This worried Rafael, as tugging on someone’s tie could be very uncomfortable.

“I’d rather snap those suspenders tbqh,” came the response. Rafael grimaced, the memory of pain from previous accidental snappings becoming vivid for a brief moment.

“i want dat sloppy papi dick™,” announced one user, adding a gif of Spongebob Squarepants fervently licking a picture of Rafael that had been photoshopped into the original image.

It went on like this, growing increasingly more awkward and disconcerting by the scroll. It was only out of curiosity that Rafael kept going. That sick, masochistic curiosity and intrigue that compels someone to watch a train wreck or a distressingly bad YouTube video that gives you secondhand embarrassment. He’d just moved beyond what felt like the twentieth post about his “splendid tummy” when he’d come upon a post that wasn’t quite like the others in terms of text. It wasn’t crude or even necessarily complimentary per se but –

           “Get you a man who looks at you the way ADA Barba looks at his coffee ❤ lol jk   nobody’ll look like you like that just get ADA Barba.”

Included was the image of him at a coffee shop, receiving a cup of his favorite day drink, a rare smile gracing his features. Well. That was unnerving. Sure, he went to get coffee at an embarrassing and even likely unhealthy rate but for someone to have taken a picture of him at all while doing so was just . . . wrong.

One person called Ballr00mbombshell responded with, “Stale cinnamon roll, too jaded by this world.” This made Rafael’s brows pressed downward. Cinnamon roll? What did cinnamon rolls have to do with anything? As if his subconscious had directed him there, his sights landed on the tag section of the post:

#He was buying a cinnamon roll too!!, #such a cinnamon roll, #he probably needs something sweet if his job is dealing with such awful situations, #eat and drink on my sweet cinnamon roll son.

Okay, he thought as he moved his laptop further down his lap. Maybe I was better off not knowing . . . Wait. Cinnamon rolls. While never one to fully discriminate against foods, cinnamon rolls weren’t a thing Rafael normally got. Wait! He recognized that outfit! It was . . . It was the same damn one from the press conference! A trembling hand reached for his replenished glass of scotch and directed it to his lips, taking as hefty of a gulp as he possibly could without warranting a coughing fit.

Did he have a stalker? Already? Granted, after all his years in his field, he shouldn’t be so surprised by how fast fanaticism can rise and to what lengths. Should he tell Liv? She was so pissed the last time he avoided telling her about a threatening presence in his life . . .

As the burning liquid trickled down his throat, Rafael nearly paused it in its tracks. He realized one more thing: The angle of the photo. It was taken at the back of the shop, by the window judging by the looks of it. From the corner, he could just make out a barrel containing chips.

The girl with the Hello Kitty watercolor phone case!

An agitated grunt rumbled from Rafael’s chest and out of his mouth as the revelation became clear. He knew he wasn’t imagining things! Never before had the soft suggestion of watercolor and the innocent cuteness of a beloved children’s character worked together to produce such malcontent.

As tempting as it was to continue, the minor brush with the idea of being stalked mingled terribly with the alcohol in his disgruntled system. Rafael called it a night and tried to sleep decently.

The heavy presence of rounded stomachs and hand veins in his dreams made this out to be a difficult task.

[therealestvc]

Abridged Max chapter 4

Chloe, Kate, and Victoria stood in front of other Max who looked like she wanted to be somewhere else. "What do you want?" She spoke with an irritated tone and started tapping her foot hoping the time would go by quicker. "Maxine, we need to know where you came from" Victoria asked while the other just stood by her. Other Max rolled her eyes and cringed at the sound of Victoria's voice. "First off Vicky...mah name is mahx, who the fuck is Maxine? And second you should know this by now, ughhh when a mommy and daddy love each other very much they g-" other Max answer before being cut off by Victoria. Victoria put her hand to stop other Max describing the birds and bees, she didn't want to hear that discussion again her nanny already told her that when she was younger. Kate and Chloe tried to muffle their laughs at Max's comment about the gift of life. "Ok...eww I already know that but I mean you're obviously not from here, what happened...no ugh...when did yo-ugh nevermind" Victoria finished throwing her arms up in frustration. Other Max smirked like she knew she had won, she started walking off leaving the other three confused. Once she is out of sight, Kate speaks up "now what do we do?" Turning towards the others, Victoria after her mind embarrassment just shrugs, Chloe sees this and jump in with an awfully good idea "let's watch the rest of that video series". Finding nothing better to do, they all go back to Victoria's room for another video watching session. After watching the second episode of the YouTube series, they all thought about other ways to get their Max back. "Ohh ohh I have an idea!! Pick on me!! Please please!!" Chloe started jumping up and down like a little kid. The other rolled their eyes cracking a smile at Chloe's antics "what is it Chloe!?" They said to her. Chloe sat down "well Vicky you said Max hit her head before she started acting different...soo what if the same thing happened to this Max and the only way to get her back to repeat the action?" She quickly said waiting for their responses. The other two looked at her confused, Chloe tends to do that when giving ideas. Victoria finally got what Chloe was saying and reassured Kate of it. The three devised a scheme to get other Max to come over there then they would knock her over the head with a book or fruit...the only hard part was getting Max to come to Kate's room willingly. Kate was the chosen one for the task, since other Max would've insulted Chloe that she would beat her up and other Max just didn't like Victoria. She was to approach other Max in the hallway and proposition her for a make out session. Kate was feeling rather nervous about that but they reassured her that it wouldn't happen. Everything was going according to plan, Kate approached other Max in the hallway. "Oh Max, I was just thinking about you and how we never got to make out and if you wanted to then I would be up for it" Kate saying internally cringing. Other Max looked thoughtfully about the offer 'I hope this isn't a trap' she thought before accepting the offer. Kate lead the way silently cheering because it had actually worked. Once they reached Kate's room, on the other side of the door stood Victoria and Chloe, Chloe had a big ass book in her hand...from the library. Once the door knob turned Chloe would hit other Max in the head. Simple task. Right? Wrong! Other Max decided it wasn't the right time to accept such an offer from Kate and said they could later, then mumbled something about going to go beat up Warren then left. Chloe still thought she was going to hit other Max in the head. So she was ready. Kate sighed walking back to her dorm room, she had forgotten about Chloe standing there with the big book ready to swing so when she opened her door she was met with a whack on her head sending her falling on her back. "Yes! Yes! We did it!!! We did it!!! Vicky did you see that? Kate did you se-oh" Chloe said then looked down to see Kate laying there with a big bump on her head, quickly they helped Kate up. Victoria went to the nurses to get her some ice. "Hehe, sorry about that bun bun...I thought you were Max, where is she?" Chloe asked rubbing the back of her neck. Kate sat down on her bed, Victoria had returned with the bag of ice and a towel to wrap the ice around. She took the ice and towel with a silent thank you. Putting the ice on the bump she winced "she said we could later then something about beating up Warren then left...ow by the way it's okay Chloe" she smiled at Chloe. Now they were at a total lose for what to do about the situation. They all put their heads together...thinking about what to do to get their Max back, 30 minutes have gone by with nothing. Victoria was walking back and forth, she realized something and stopped. 'The spell books', she got the others attention "Kate there has to be something in one of the spell books right?". She started looking for the right book prompting Kate and Chloe to look through. Kate found her old book on portals and other other universes. She dusted off the book, since her room was already turned into the lair they all sat down at the table, she flipped through the pages then found the portal spell it read: The Portal Spell One must enter and another must leave, (warning:if another's from another dimension enters their world with their regular in there then reality will be altered) That meant that it was certain to keep the other version of the person busy until their regular person was ready to return then they would simultaneously switch places. But who would be the right person for the task? Kate thought about Victoria but other Victoria from the abridged Arcadia Bay would get into a fight with abridged Max. It had to be Chloe. Kate prepped the spell ready, Chloe stood ready..to get abridged Chloe in their world, they would have place the portal somewhere that abridged Chloe would be so they could quickly swap. In the magic mirror ball, abridged Chloe was in the junkyard. Kate spoke the spell words then the door appeared, they all hoped that this would work. Chloe stepped into the portal door with abridged Chloe entering their world. "Yo yo yo! What is up my homedogs?!" She spoke with a surfer type voice. 'Oh boy' they both thought before greeting this Chloe. She was easier to deal with their Chloe. Other Max walked back to Kate's room, she was ready for the makeout session she was about to knock on her door then she heard a familiar voice. 'Oh mah gosh, is that mah best friend Chloe?' She thought knocking on Kate's door and was confirmed right about her best friend Chloe who stood by Victoria, the two looked at each other and ran to hug each other. "Chloe I'm so glad you are here! This place is just soooo boringggg like it has more rules than our school. Let's leave this dump!" Other Max quips. Other Chloe nodded her head, she said they could go back to their place with that fancy gadget that she came out. Oh boy they were talking about the portal. Kate and Victoria remembered about the rule about not having the other person go in. They had to find a way to distract those two while Chloe was getting their Max back. Victoria thought for a minute then got her phone out texting Courtney to get her some weed and to put it in the junkyard. Once Courtney gave her the okay, she got the other Max and other Chloe attention. "Hey you guys! How would you like going on a treasure hunt?!" She said with such enthusiasm to convince the other of her friends. Both of their faces looked like they just won the lottery. "Hell yeah!" They said. Victoria quickly made a map that was foolproof and had Courtney put clues in the select places. It lead straight to the junkyard where their prize was waiting for them. She gave them the map once they left, she let out a big sigh before crashing down on Kate's couch. Kate gave her a soft smile. 'What trouble could those two get into?'. The other two versions of Chloe and Max set out their little adventure,the first stop was to look at the totem pole for the next clue, it read:splish splash let's go swimming...the swimming pool of course! They ran to the swimming pool both happy to spend time with each other. "Yo Max I missed you so much, that other Max is boring and doesn't want to smoke the Mary Jane" other Chloe expressed as they walked to find the next clue. Other Max snickered "likewise, most people at this town are lame and don't know how to have fun..I missed you too" they found the next clue, it lead them to the train tracks. Once they reached the train tracks, other Max recounted the time that other Chloe got her boot stuck in them..the two spent that time laughing, the next clue was on the train tracks it lead them to other Chloe's hangout where the treasure was. They walked into other Chloe's hangout and looked for the treasure. They searched for ten minutes before other Chloe shouted "YO! MAX ITS DA MARY JANE!!!" Other Max turned her attention to where other Chloe was. The two gave knowing looks, automatically deciding they would smoke at Chloe's house. They arrived at Chloe's house in Chloe's truck, rushed upstairs and started smoking the couple of joints Victoria left them. David being the person he is, immediately noticed the smell and where it was coming from. "Chloe" he said angrily. The two friends were relaxing on Chloe's bed when they heard a hard knock on Chloe's door with a loud voice. "CHLOE!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TOKING UP IN HERE!?" David yelled through the door. Other Chloe retorted back "ahh! Will you chill out bro and go find some terrorists?" David horrified by that voice yelled Joyce's name and then scrambled off saying something about knowing the weed would do this to them. Joyce laughed at David's statement, "oh David leave them alone...stop being so paranoid" she even walked to Chloe's room to ensure David that he was losing it. She opened Chloe's door, she spoke "girls could you please stop smoking in here?". Other Chloe wide eyed replied "oh my gosh mom that's how your voice sounds?! Whoaaa". Joyce backed away from the door then fainted. The other Chloe and other Max just shrugged then lit up another joint. In another universe, it was just like Arcadia Bay. Chloe stood in the junkyard, she couldn't text Victoria and Kate because an interference with the different universes. She thought scared out of her mind 'where are you maxiepad?' Then headed to her truck, determined to get their Max back.

[bbcmyhero]

The Party’s Over

Episode 6, one of my faves. Because reasons, as one of my friends used to say. (I think we all know what those reasons are by now. *ahem*) 

Now, the funny thing is, I was 16 when this episode first aired and I was sort of rolling my eyes at Janet’s existential crisis. Mainly because I’d been having an ongoing one since about age 4 when I’d sit in the floor and look at baby pictures of myself and cry because I wasn’t a baby anymore. Then I concluded I was asleep and the aging was all one long dream. It wasn’t very convincing, and said crisis got worse at...yeah, age 16 when all the tv shows and stuff had told me that was the turning point and the awkwardness of puberty was supposed to be over. Lies. So, yeah, didn’t really get the big deal about 30. Two years past it, I can look back and go...oh, I get it, now. Sort of.

On a less personal note, George says Ultronians don’t have ages, but his actual age in numbers is mentioned later.

This whole misunderstanding with Carol still nearly makes me pee myself laughing. Also, I used to have a hair clip with fake braids and such that looked a bit like her hairdo.

I really don’t understand this whole thing Janet is doing where she’s pretending she doesn’t want a big deal made about her birthday. She knows George is kind of an idiot when it comes to Earth customs and takes everything literally, yet she’s getting snippy when she thinks she’s getting nothing after repeatedly telling him she doesn’t want anything. From his side, it’s gotta look like the real problem is all the cards, etc, reminding her of something that seems to be upsetting her.

Alien reference...kind of sad considering John Hurt’s recent death. (Sidenote, I’ve got to get crushes on more men closer to my age so that my celeb crushes don’t keep dying.)

Oh! I just remembered that later George had that Ultron virus thing and said Alien was an amazingly accurate film. Further evidence for my “Tyler Is Ultronian” theory, perhaps? He knows about that particular virus, thinks he has it, but has forgotten that even if he did it wouldn’t hurt him. Unless he has a vague memory of losing his powers, and with no powers it would? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

There it is, Piers literally embodying that dating post wherein the guy brags about being a doctor and says that getting older will take him from a young Al Pacino to George Clooney. And see above, re: people I’m attracted to. He’s not wrong, per se, but it’s not universal. And his general attitude can be extremely offputting.

OMG, I just figured out what two words Janet probably whispered. I’m very slow on the uptake.

“If you’re thinking of grabbing me...” Yes, quite often. Despite that tie. But, sometimes, I also think of smacking you upside the head.

(Hilarious thing, the copy I’m watching on youtube has commercials, which are for some reason captioned despite my not turning them on. There is now a random caption stuck to Piers declaring “four snacks in one.” Also, for some reason I can click on it and drag it around the screen. It’s fun.)

I’d really like to be Mrs Raven sometimes. “I’m not coming if that is.” Many times I’ve voiced my complaints privately to mom about who’s invited to a thing I also have to attend, but never to the person’s face. No matter how much they deserved it. (And, no, I don’t mean for petty reasons. I mean general “you’re a douche” reasons.)

Second time where the joke has been made that Piers would be happiest dating a mirror. Sad commentary on him as a person, really.

Ella kills it in this scene in the shop with the understated snark and the reaction faces. And it seems we have another thing in common. People who’ve had my version of devil’s food cake have literally begged for another one. And made inappropriate offers to get it. Granted, I had no interest in said offer from that person, but it was still hilarious.

Wow, Avril managed to not make a bitchy remark about Janet.

So, at this point Mrs Raven’s mom is still out and about. Wonder when she wound up in what is presumably prison?

Not sure if Mrs Raven is saying Dr Crippen on purpose as a joke or if a flub. Happens in two different episodes.

Someone please get this man a dating consultant, this is just sad. Mind you, this is what you get for pestering someone clearly uninterested. And, but, also, just a tiny little note here. “Oh, thank God...I mean, cool. Cool” No, you’re not, sweetie, you’re really not. (Actually, by the end of the whole series, I’m firmly convinced that this is pretty much Piers when no one’s looking. Except with one of the few things he’s actually mentioned enjoying, instead. Golf or bridge, something like that.)

Zoey is “extremely tall. Used to be a model.” *starts practically vibrating in chair* Ooooh, best part coming up!

Janet, Janet, Janet. Your poor alien boyfriend has no concept of sarcasm or playing coy. Why do this?

George is me trying to get out of things with really bad excuses. Can’t defuse the bomb, I have scurvy. A+. She’ll totally buy that. But, dude, stop bragging about your sex life in front of people. Is awkward.

Carol the hooker is back, along with more hilarious misunderstandings. George is totally normal and vanilla. That’s why he just carried an unconscious woman in a nurse’s outfit out of the bathroom, after giving her a birthday surprise. Nothing weird here.

See, with better planning George could have packed Janet a change of clothes and pretended the trip to NY was her present, then after a couple hours of touristy things, back for the party. Boom. He is now best boyfriend. Instead, Janet is stuck living a variation of the pajama nightmare.

Man, when a roach is that big you might as well make a pet of it. I once watched a fairly large one clean it’s antennae. It was almost catlike the way it would tilt its head and run them between its front legs. I was charmed.

Avril...why? Awesome dress, and you’ve clearly got great boobs, but...the jacket? Those shoes. Why? Very few people can pull off sneakers and a nice dress. My sister is one of them. I am not, as I found out when I had to do it for a party due to foot issues. They were sparkly tenny’s and everything, and yet, I failed to look as good as the time sis wore plain, knee-high converse with a frilly dress to a school dance. Avril, we are the awkward people and we must accept it and not try to go alternative with our fashion.

Tyler following a clearly uncomfortable Mrs Raven around reminds me of this weird guy who latched on to me one day in high school after choir practice when I was reading and waiting to be picked up. He decided we should talk, so I humored him, and thereafter he would follow me around and put his arm around me. I said nothing and was even embarrassed when my friend yelled at him to leave me alone in the middle of a crowded hall. Weeks later, he caught me alone, patted me on the head and when I asked him not to, he responded by ruffling my hair and sitting next to me. Took dad forever to answer my pages and get there. Tyler is being that guy. Paints a very dark picture of what he might have done to have his memory erased.

...I think I had the same reaction to the Deadpool bobblehead sis got me for Christmas as Avril did to this party. I, too, am sad.

*flails uselessly* Here it is! Here is the best part!

Zoe...is not tall. Not even a little bit. She is tall like I am tall. We are, in fact, the same height and I am the shortest person in my immediate family. In my whole family, in fact. I have cousins in middle and elementary school who are clearly going to be taller than me. And given the height of the cretin who helped make them, I think my niece and nephew are also going to be taller.

What I’m getting at is that I am a shortarse. And so is Zoe.

And Piers, well, he’s tall but I’ve seen taller. But, he’s still tall. Unlike Zoe. You cannot stand her next to him and say she is extremely tall.

So, what’s the solution, following that adorable thinking face he makes?

Pick her up! It’s brilliant! They’ll never notice she’s dangling almost an entire foot off the floor! Well done, you.

And she wore flats, making the whole thing even worse.

Love Pump. My secondhand embarrassment knows no bounds. No one in the history of ever has called their boyfriend that with any level of seriousness. Why must you hurt me this way?

(I have no acting ability whatsoever, but I’m fairly certain I could pull off a role wherein most of the requirements were “cuddle Hugh Dennis.”)

And this whole thing with Zoe and misreading Pier’s apparently terrible handwriting is beautiful. “Go topless,” is probably exactly the sort of thing he’d ask a girl.

Also, “lonely” and “desperate,” sad but hilarious and definitely spot-on.

Much like Carol reacting to George, I’m really loving how these two play off each other.

You know, Mrs Raven is meant to be frumpy-person dressed up, here, but her make-up’s not half bad. Geraldine McNulty, like Moya Brady, is actually pretty good-looking.

(And, also, Moya Brady in general, with that nose and all, looks a bit like a female Julian Richings, which means that had Avril been less annoying I’d have probably crushed on her a little. Because that? Is a sonnet-worthy nose.)

All the fat jokes about Ella are really not cool, man. I looked up that size 14 evening gown she asks for in the Christmas episode, and that’s about a 12, US. At my smallest that was me, which put me decidedly not on the plus side of the store, but just barely out of the “regular” side because boobs. Which looks to also be a thing with Ella. Pudgy, I’d say, rather than fat. And definitely not to the extent one needs to say that she’d stick out from behind a chair that wide.

Ella’s face is mfw.

It’s just a tiny thing, but when George starts telling them all to jump out at different times, Zoe has this sort of glorious “wtf, this is so awkward” face while everyone else is just generally annoyed because they expected George to do something stupid.

“Oooh, Mr Sunday!”  Calm down, Avril, it wasn’t that good.

George’s sister is 11′4. Maybe Piers should have called her, instead. (Yes, I know, not possible. It was a joke. Because she’s extremely tall.)

And she’s apparently just a shelf-stacker instead of a superhero. Ultron does have mundane jobs, after all.

Janet definitely would have gone full tourist instead of just sitting around eating surprisingly delicious diner food if she’d had a change of clothes.

Eew, Tyler, you don’t just put your hands on people’s thighs without asking unless you’ve been dating awhile.

I’m terrible at math, but I actually sat down and calculated the sandwich to guest ratio. The fairest divide leaves them with 8 each and four left over for Janet and George to split. I was really bored in the shower that day.

Zoe, you beautiful, clueless eejit. I love you. But, c’mon, be fair. If she’s really just 22, and he’s about 37 here, that’s not really old enough to be her dad unless her parents were teen parents.  

Love Pimp! Pump! Oh, yeah, the correction totally saved that one. You’d have honestly been better off leaving it.

Arnie is still a total sleazebag, but his first meeting with Janet actually turned out to be really sweet.

George is really bad at surprises, tho.

And Mrs Raven is gonna wake up with Arnie, yet later they don’t seem to know each other. Just how drunk were they?

[purplesurveys]

815

At what time of day do you normally feel the best? I love the evening the most. I get to have my coffee, it’s quieter around the house, and it also gets a little bit colder so it’s more fun to hang around by then. Do you normally have to hem pants? I’ve never had to do that before. If I need my pants fixed, I usually ask my lola to do it since she’s good at that kind of stuff. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. I can’t speak for other people, but I personally stay because I don’t want to leave Kimi behind and because I’ve seen countless mini-documentaries of parents who were left devastated by their kids taking their own lives. What would you do if you had no one to love and support you? That sounds so fucking bleak. I imagine bringing myself to therapy so I can learn how to deal with such a situation, and so that I at least have one person to talk to. If you didn't have love and support, would you feel life was worth living? No. But that’s why I imagine I’d be going to therapy, so my mind can be changed.

If you had no family nor friends nor money, would you feel life's worth living? These questions are so stressful to mull over and a tad bit triggering lmao, can I pass at this point? If you're unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Depends on what I need, which differs every time. Sometimes I’d wanna be alone, other times I’d want to be with other people, other times I’d need to drive and take longer routes than usual, or to binge YouTube videos, or a good nap...it’s always different. What was the last thing that upset your stomach? The meds I had to take for my UTI. Feeling poopy was one of its side effects, so even though it didn’t upset my stomach per se I did have to have several trips to the bathroom then. Do you have to go the pharmacy a lot? No, only when something’s wrong with me which doesn’t happen too often. Are you sunburned? I haven’t been sunburned since I was like 10. The tendency just suddenly stopped at some point. Do you wish someone loved you? I have a lot of people who already do, fortunately. Do you call yourself stupid often? Like every other hour lmao. What's a song you love? From Eden - Hozier. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you? Not to my knowledge. I’m glad they aren’t in my life today. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. One of my former Filipino teachers in high school. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don’t think that I am. Does God often answer your prayers? How was your day today (or yesterday, if it's morning)? It was average. Nothing out of the ordinary happened today but I did like the fact that my parents still left the living room aircon on for most of the day even though summer’s over and the weather’s already begun to be a little colder. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Not really? I’m fine with the ones we’ve got lol. Would you want to relive your childhood again? Fuck no. It had some nostalgic bits, like the shows I used to watch or me playing outside, but it was far too traumatic for me to miss it as a whole. I’m happy being a grownup.

Were your college years the best years of your life? Not fully. My time in college only peaked by the second half, so it wasn’t all that great. Junior and senior year were very fun and eye-opening, though. Would you rather re-live high school or college? Ooh that’s quite a pickle...both periods had their highs. High school was a lot easier (academically), it was a time when I could fuck up and it was okay, and I found my first group of friends. College was a time of independence, a lot of growing up to do, and I also found my second group of friends. As miserable as I was during my freshman year, I ultimately have to go with college because I hated most of the people in my high school anyway and because I really loved the independence I gained in college, from being able to drive on my own and managing stuff on my own time to being free to choose my class schedule. And also, duh, I passed my dream school? I’d relive my years in UP in a heartbeat. What is the dumbest sports-team mascot you've heard of? Not really familiar with sports mascots to begin with. Are you a sports fan? Err, not really. I’m a pro wrestling fan, but it’s not 100% a sport. Where do you feel like you fit in the most? In my college and in my org. I’m sad that I only get four years with them – three when it comes to my org. Do you hate social classes? Yes. Do you think talent should have anything to do with social class? What? I have no clue what this question is insinuating but lmao of course not. I know some crazy talented people who wouldn’t be considered rich, and I know some bland-ass wealthy people who can’t do anything impressive at all. Name a country who's history you know nothing about. Australia. Name a religion you know nothing or very little about. Zoroastrianism. I only remember the founder. Don't you hate know-it-alls? I hate when they start getting conceited. What is your favorite store at the mall? I love visiting Fully Booked every chance I get. When was the last time you went to the mall? That would be when I had my eye checked last early March, because the clinic I visited was inside the mall. Aside from doing that, I also had late lunch at Marugame Udon which apparently would be the last time I’d have their food for a while, unbeknownst to me :( Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? LOL never. Have you ever tried hard drugs? No. Which school subject did you hate the most? Back in high school I really hated the advanced math and science classes e.g. chemistry, physics, calculus, trig. In college, I found myself hating philosophy and economics the most. What was the last thing you wore from Aeropostale? I don’t think I ever wore anything from them. Which devotional do you read? I don’t read those. Do you appreciate classic literature? I appreciate and recognize their impact, but I don’t like reading them.

What is something you find strange? People who keep pushing for the All Lives Matter narrative. Cringe. Do you like your natural hair color? Sure. I’ve never actively complained about it, that’s for sure. Would you rather get a pixie cut or get dreadlocks? Pixie cut, because I’m pretty sure getting dreadlocks as a Filipino is a form of cultural appropriation? Would you rather dye your hair or get a perm? Dye it.

Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No, we don’t. Have you ever started a new trend? Just me? Lmao no. Do you have any artwork of yours from high school? I definitely don’t. Whenever a teacher would give our artworks back, I crumpled it up as soon as I got it and would throw it away. I just simply rejected all of my attempts to be creative lol. What did you win a scholarship for? I’ve never gotten one. But my university did start implementing free tuition for all undergrads starting in 2017 when I was a sophomore, so it’s kinda like the same thing. Did your college meet your expectations? Yes, and more. UP taught me far more than classroom lessons as it opened my eyes to the more important societal issues happening outside of school. It made me recognize our farmers who never earn the income they deserve; the factory workers stuck in poor working conditions; the jeepney drivers whose work is never respected; the millions of working class Filipinos who simply deserve better;  and the government that is more corrupt than I thought. My college on the other hand taught me to be fearless and to never hesitate to search for, report, and defend the truth, and to disseminate just that to the masses. Bottomline is that words can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am to have studied there and I will always be very much in love with my school. What was the best thing about college? The best thing about mine, at least, was the throng of life lessons and eye-opening realizations it gave me. Each of them has been more valuable than any lesson I learned in the classroom. UP taught me that there were a thousand other issues far more important than problems I face in my own privileged bubble, but that I can help facilitate change if I wanted to. How old were you ten years ago? 12. Easily the worst age I’ve been in. What's the best piece of advice you can give someone ten years younger? Stay. It’ll get better. Not instantly, but it does get better. Do you feel like you are old enough and experienced enough to give advice? I think anyone’s fit to give advice no matter how old they are. Even kids can be quite insightful. The differences just lie on the topics people give advice on. How old were you when you started to feel mature and experienced? 17, after I had a series of shitty stuff happen to me at one point in 2015. When I got past those, I could tell I wasn’t the same person that I was, like, two months back. Were your 20's hell? I’m only in my second year lmao, can you get back to me in eight years? What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? We don’t get a lot of bugs at home, fortunately. We have tons of ants though. Do you put off things until the last minute? If I’m not passionate about the task, yes. Do you have the air conditioning on right now? Nope, just the fan. Is your mom the same size as you? She’s slim but she’s still ever so slightly a bit larger. We can technically share clothes but some of them would still look loose on me.

Does camping appeal to you? I have moods where it does and moods where it doesn’t lol. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. How often do you pray? Do you surrender to Christ daily? When was the last time you went to church? Do you know any Christians who aren't judgmental? Only a handful, and it’s usually people in my age group. Most of the others suck, and I can say this because I’ve had coooooooountless personal experiences with rude, hypocritical, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic Christians and Catholics. Do you believe there are any good people in the world? Of course. What's one thing you are scared of? Flying cockroaches.

[purplesurveys]

382

-What was the last song that you sang out loud? I played a Destiny’s Child playlist when we were out for a bit earlier so I was most likely rapping along to Bug A Boo before we got home. -If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? I don’t think I can. I’d rather just not have my face directly on them when talking. -With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Angela. She knows e v e r y t h i n g. -Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? My...phone? Haha. If I get anxious I need to watch videos to distract me. My phone has YouTube. Also bracelets that Gabie has given me over the years. -When are you likely to hide your emotions? When I’m with people that don’t really know about my anxiety. People I’m not close to, in general.

-Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I think both are equally terrifying??? Both put the body in immense pain and it goes through a slow, agonizing shutdown and I don’t even want to think about experiencing other lol. -Who was the last person to take your breath away? MY GIRLFRIEND -When you turn on the TV, what channel do you flip to? Probably a movie channel but I legit have not watched television in yearssss. I watch everything on Netflix now. -Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? No. -What was the last comment someone made on your music taste? I don’t have much of a music taste so it’s not really something people tend to make comments on. -Where do you go/what do you do when you need to calm down? My room. Or to my best friends. -What was the last mess you cleaned up? I had a stack of readings and stationery scattered all over the dining table last night when I was studying, so I cleaned everything up before going to bed. -Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? Yes I had to talk to Toby because he made a series of disturbing tweets a couple of weeks ago. We aren’t close per se, but he’s an orgmate and therefore a friend, so I messaged him immediately. I’m happy it worked, cos he showed up to school the next day and gave me a bear hug. -When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? Work. -Who, in your opinion, has an amazing voice? Hannah sings a lot, and I really like it when she does because she sounds great. -Would you ever camp out on a beach, under the stars? Of course.

-What is the last thing you complained about? I need a printer to print out my readings (I absolutely cannot study from an e-book) but ours has been broken for years and there’s no Internet/printing shop nearby. UGH I’m serious about complaining over not being able to study haha.   -What was the last curse-word you said? Fuck. -When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I would never fake sick to my Asian mom.  -How did you recover from your last bout of tears? I slept. As is always the most effective way to stop crying. -Do you still talk to your very first best friend? Yes. I talked to her last night. -When was the last time something went terribly wrong? Well a couple of weeks ago Gab and I had a huge, really serious fight that had just been unfixable–it was the kind of fight that you just had to wait. And the wait was torture. I was really scared then and I stayed in bed for what was probably 48 hours and ate like two times in that period. -How do you console someone when he or she is upset? I stay with them and listen to them if they have to let things out. -Have you ever seen either one of your parents cry? Just my mom. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw my dad cry. -Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? OUTER SPACE. I’d do anything to have a glimpse into my astronaut dream. -How often do you feel overwhelmed? 7 days a week. -How do you deal with everyday life? Get by. Aren’t we all forced to? -Do you have any secret obsessions or guilty pleasures? I don’t think so. I’m never guilty of whatever it is I’m obsessing at the moment haha. I am into serial killers, like reading and watching docus about them; and obviously I never announce it the world unless it comes up in conversation. -Aside from on this survey, what was the last thing you wrote about? I was writing down notes on my readings from my Southeast Asian history class. -Who in your family do you act like the most? I’m a mix of my mom and dad. I seriously can’t tell you who I act more like. There are certain phrases my mom says that I say, and certain intonations and mannerisms I got from my dad.  -What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? I’m into intimate, more between-the-two-of-you kind of stuff, so I always appreciate it when Gab volunteers to drive my car if I ever drink a little bit too much for the night. She helps me get to bed and gets me some clothes to wear too, which is always sweet.

-When you go out to the mall, do people stare? Not me, but my girlfriend and I obviously will get stares from time to time for holding hands. -Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? No. -What just tears at your heartstrings? Videos of dogs reuniting with their owners, abused dogs getting saved and all groomed up, or dogs getting adopted. -Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? GAME OF THRONES -What was the last topic that you ranted about? The lack of a printer that I delved on several survey questions ago. -Is there someone that makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Jane lol. She’s the president of our org and will easily get pissed the fuck off sometimes, and it never does my anxiety any good. -Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? Yes. We had this monster of a PE teacher in 2nd grade who would literally kick down doors if she gets angry and would yell at 8 year olds. How she ever got employed in the first place still baffles me. -Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? That’s a huuuuuge no-no in our school, so no. Plus I came from an all-girls’ Catholic school; it just wasn’t in anyone’s nature to pick a fight. -Have you written anything in a bathroom stall? What, if anything? No, I feel so iffy about vandalizing in public. -Is your school like the drama capital of the country? HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You can say that, damn. -A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? I give them a little more and a snack if I had any. -When was the last time you visited a thrift store? I don’t remember. I don’t think I have? -Was there ever a time when you wished you'd never been born? Always. I didn’t even choose to be born lol. -Can you handle constructive criticism? Uhhhhhh only if it’s from someone I truly respect. Otherwise I can honestly be a big baby about criticism. -Who is the most sensitive person that you know? ME. Also one of my friends, Mils. -Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? Nope. -You can have one famous person's wardrobe; who do you choose, and why? Kate’s!!! She dresses so well and looks pretty in all of her outfits. -When was the last time you wrote someone a note? I think December? Aya was down in the dumps pretty bad so I dropped her a short message on Facebook to let her know that I’m always around for her. -Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I ask permission. Duh. I’m Asian.  -What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? Agatha’s birthday party. She’s a good friend, but I’m not friends with any of her friends and I just can’t relate with the college block we both belong to. I scheduled a date with Gabie’s dad on the same night because I didn’t want to go to the party. -On average, how many surveys do you fill out in one day? If I had a lot of time, I could fill out three. Nowadays it’s like once a day/a couple of times a week. -How many hours a day do you spend on Bzoink? I don’t stay on Bzoink; I just go on there to look for surveys. -Which season do you dread the most? I hate Philippine summers. -Do you ever brag about your achievements? Oh god never. I hate putting any attention on me. -If someone makes fun of you, are you able to laugh it off? Tbh no, I’m pretty sensitive and serious in that aspect. I mean I’d smile to be polite but will most likely be whispering something evil about them in my head hahahaha. -When was the last time that you watched the sun come up? Three years ago, in Sagada. -What did you do last Halloween? I think I went out with Gab that day, but it wasn’t to celebrate Halloween. -Last Thanksgiving? -Last Christmas - if you celebrate? I like how Christmas has the *if you celebrate* disclaimer but the North American-centric Thanksgiving doesn’t. Anyway, we had several family dinners and we ate and drank and caught up with one another. -How did you celebrate the arrival of the new year? Also saw some relatives and ate and drank and bonded with my cousins. -Is there a foreign culture you'd like to learn more about? I’d like to know more about all of them if I had the time and the chance. -Have you ever (purposely or accidentally) played with someone's heart? I possibly might’ve with Mike but I don’t want to be an ass and assume. -Has anyone ever played with yours? Sure, you can say that. -Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought "I could have done that?” Not famous, but expensive ones. The ones that are paint splatters hah. -Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real ... just once? LOL YES. I’m terrible for thinking that but yes. Mostly because everyone was such kids about it and never took the drills seriously. I secretly wanted a real one to happen just to see those people regret not being any more serious.

-What is the scariest thing about attending your school? Nothing’s scary about UP. If you’re scared to be in UP you can’t survive in it. -Are you a good judge of other people's intentions? Meh. I can tell sometimes. What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I’m not so sure, it’s been a while. -Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? Girlfriend. -What is one insecurity you have about your body? Teeth. -What is one part of your body that you are proud of? My overall figure. -When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? Ages ago. I’m getting old myself and don’t want my music too loud lmfao. -When you don't know how to spell a word, do you look it up? Yes, of course. -Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? Nope. I hate making people wait. -Have you seen the movie Super Size Me? No. -Do you still eat at McDonald's, regardless of that film? I’d probably continue eating at any fast food establishment even if I watch a billion documentaries exposing them, being completely honest. -Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a different race? Sometimes. -Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? Of course. Except for one snowflake race out there, lol. -When was the last time you doubted your abilities? Now? -At your favorite restaurant, what do you order? I don’t pick favorite restaurants. -What was the last thing you wished for? A DAMN PRINTER. -How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? Too many. I’m perpetually impatient.