#secureattachmentstyle

[infinitenature]

Western society has normalized early separation of mother to child, many have to go back to work as early as 6 weeks. Some parents may prefer that (and some may have no other options) although many may want longer time with their child. It is completely normal for children to want to be around their parents/caregivers when they are small. The caregiver is their safe space. When a small child views someone as a stranger (even if it is family or friend of family), a child crying or not going to them is a natural reaction . Consistent quality time builds bonds. Children learn relationships via their parents before anything else, regardless if they go to school or daycare. Early separation from parents, particularly mother at an early age can impact a child deeper than society as a whole realizes. That was why I personally was adamant about being near my daughter as much as I could and nursing her directly from my breast when she was put under lights for her jaundice as a newborn. Creating a nurturing environment is important. Society focuses so much on making children independent too soon. It is okay to not let a baby cry it out. Allowing small children to cry it out actually creates anxiety and teaches a child to not depend on their caregivers which then can create anxious adults who may have a hard time creating interdependent relationships with others (and have a hard time asking for support when it is needed). I learned from studying myself and the science of child development the importance of the child-parent connection. Eric Erickson theory on the stages of development goes into detail about this. A securely attached child knows their needs will be met by their parent and feel safe. They in turn feel safe in life in general and can reflect this in other relationships as their circle expands through time. #parentchild #parentchildrelationship #personaldevelopment #childdevelopment #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #secureattachmentparenting #childrendevelopment #stagesofdevelopment #parenting #child https://www.instagram.com/p/CGP5PQbJCwr/?igshid=el507th6t21r

[autonomousintimate]

If you had a spare hour, I would not want to see you. I would want you to take a break from your path and do something lovely for yourself…. whatever you have not done for yourself that you are thirsty for. Maitri. Space is love and I give that which cannot be given to but can only be taken from you.

Waylon Lewis, Things I Would Like to Do with You (I’m pretty sure that space is a love language. 💕)

[responsiveparenting]

“It’s ok for children to experience painful emotions. It’s best if that pain is felt in the comforting presence of someone they trust.” J. Milburn Advocating for the acceptance of emotions is often misinterpreted as advocating for ignoring emotions. I am not advocating for Cry It Out methods. I am advocating for co-regulation and unconditional love and acceptance. I’m advocating for parents to feel safe in comforting their children and confident in their ability to help co-regulate, when the child does continue to express strong emotions. This can be one of the biggest parenting challenges, for so many. Our conditioning has caused us to react with fight or flight when our children demonstrate they are in pain. We want to stop their feelings from continuing because they make us incredibly uncomfortable so we ignore, distract or get frustrated. Whining, crying, pouting, screaming and even physical aggression is quite typical for a young child. These are ways children communicate their feelings and needs. But because so many children are taught to suppress these behaviours, they learn to suppress the emotion along with it, and so continues the cycle. We can instead try to work through our own triggers, while comforting our child. Model for our children how to hold space for someone and how to process painful emotions in healthy ways. It can be a slow and complex process to make this cognitive change but it can start with something as small as changing “don’t cry” to “it’s ok to cry. I’m here.” ⭐️ Do you find it difficult to support your child’s emotions, at times? Join us for our Online Workshop Series: Responding to the Needs of your Toddler ⭐️ Link in bio @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #attachment #attachmentparenting #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #feelingsarevalid #allthefeels #coregulation #empathy #compassionateparenting https://www.instagram.com/p/CS-uceUrnM8/?utm_medium=tumblr

[responsiveparenting]

“It’s ok for children to experience painful emotions. It’s best if that pain is felt in the comforting presence of someone they trust.” J. Milburn Advocating for the acceptance of emotions is often misinterpreted as advocating for ignoring emotions. I am not advocating for Cry It Out methods. I am advocating for co-regulation and unconditional love and acceptance. I’m advocating for parents to feel safe in comforting their children and confident in their ability to help co-regulate, when the child does continue to express strong emotions. This can be one of the biggest parenting challenges, for so many. Our conditioning has caused us to react with fight or flight when our children demonstrate they are in pain. We want to stop their feelings from continuing because they make us incredibly uncomfortable so we ignore, distract or get frustrated. Whining, crying, pouting, screaming and even physical aggression is quite typical for a young child. These are ways children communicate their feelings and needs. But because so many children are taught to suppress these behaviours, they learn to suppress the emotion along with it, and so continues the cycle. We can instead try to work through our own triggers, while comforting our child. Model for our children how to hold space for someone and how to process painful emotions in healthy ways. It can be a slow and complex process to make this cognitive change but it can start with something as small as changing “don’t cry” to “it’s ok to cry. I’m here.” ⭐️ Do you find it difficult to support your child’s emotions, at times? Join us for our Online Workshop Series: Responding to the Needs of your Toddler ⭐️ Link in bio #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #attachment #attachmentparenting #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #feelingsarevalid #allthefeels #coregulation #empathy #compassionateparenting https://www.instagram.com/p/CNgvw-KHKcj/?igshid=br2sxpauo33j

[responsiveparenting]

“It’s ok for children to experience painful emotions. It’s best if that pain is felt in the comforting presence of someone they trust.” J. Milburn Advocating for the acceptance of emotions is often misinterpreted as advocating for ignoring emotions. I am not advocating for Cry It Out methods. I am advocating for co-regulation and unconditional love and acceptance. I’m advocating for parents to feel safe in comforting their children and confident in their ability to help co-regulate, when the child does continue to express strong emotions. This can be one of the biggest parenting challenges, for so many. Our conditioning has caused us to react with fight or flight when our children demonstrate they are in pain. We want to stop their feelings from continuing because they make us incredibly uncomfortable so we ignore, distract or get frustrated. Whining, crying, pouting, screaming and even physical aggression is quite typical for a young child. These are ways children communicate their feelings and needs. But because so many children are taught to suppress these behaviours, they learn to suppress the emotion along with it, and so continues the cycle. We can instead try to work through our own triggers, while comforting our child. Model for our children how to hold space for someone and how to process painful emotions in healthy ways. It can be a slow and complex process to make this cognitive change but it can start with something as small as changing “don’t cry” to “it’s ok to cry. I’m here.” ⭐️ Do you find it difficult to support your child’s emotions, at times? Join us for our Online Workshop Series: Responding to the Needs of your Toddler ⭐️ Link in bio @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #attachment #attachmentparenting #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #feelingsarevalid #allthefeels #coregulation #empathy #compassionateparenting https://www.instagram.com/p/CQUBgNrn9mD/?utm_medium=tumblr

[infinitenature]

Sharing this again. I am seeing before my eyes the benefit of this. I am raising a black child that is free. Repost from @infinitenature1 • Western society has normalized early separation of mother to child, many have to go back to work as early as 6 weeks. Some parents may prefer that (and some may have no other options) although many may want longer time with their child. It is completely normal for children to want to be around their parents/caregivers when they are small. The caregiver is their safe space. When a small child views someone as a stranger (even if it is family or friend of family), a child crying or not going to them is a natural reaction . Consistent quality time builds bonds. Children learn relationships via their parents before anything else, regardless if they go to school or daycare. Early separation from parents, particularly mother at an early age can impact a child deeper than society as a whole realizes. That was why I personally was adamant about being near my daughter as much as I could and nursing her directly from my breast when she was put under lights for her jaundice as a newborn. Creating a nurturing environment is important. Society focuses so much on making children independent too soon. It is okay to not let a baby cry it out. Allowing small children to cry it out actually creates anxiety and teaches a child to not depend on their caregivers which then can create anxious adults who may have a hard time creating interdependent relationships with others (and have a hard time asking for support when it is needed). I learned from studying myself and the science of child development the importance of the child-parent connection. Eric Erickson theory on the stages of development goes into detail about this. A securely attached child knows their needs will be met by their parent and feel safe. They in turn feel safe in life in general and can reflect this in other relationships as their circle expands through time. #parentchild #parentchildrelationship #personaldevelopment #childdevelopment #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #secureattachmentparenting #childrendevelopment #stagesofdevelopment #parenting #child https://www.instagram.com/p/CKwRhtSJrMM/?igshid=1y1r4jekqwnza

[responsiveparenting]

“It’s ok for children to experience painful emotions. It’s best if that pain is felt in the comforting presence of someone they trust.” J. Milburn Advocating for the acceptance of emotions is often misinterpreted as advocating for ignoring emotions. I am not advocating for Cry It Out methods. I am advocating for co-regulation and unconditional love and acceptance. I’m advocating for parents to feel safe in comforting their children and confident in their ability to help co-regulate, when the child does continue to express strong emotions. This can be one of the biggest parenting challenges, for so many. Our conditioning has caused us to react with fight or flight when our children demonstrate they are in pain. We want to stop their feelings from continuing because they make us incredibly uncomfortable so we ignore, distract or get frustrated. Whining, crying, pouting, screaming and even physical aggression is quite typical for a young child. These are ways children communicate their feelings and needs. But because so many children are taught to suppress these behaviours, they learn to suppress the emotion along with it, and so continues the cycle. We can instead try to work through our own triggers, while comforting our child. Model for our children how to hold space for someone and how to process painful emotions in healthy ways. It can be a slow and complex process to make this cognitive change but it can start with something as small as changing “don’t cry” to “it’s ok to cry. I’m here.” #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #attachment #attachmentparenting #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #feelingsarevalid #allthefeels #coregulation #empathy #compassionateparenting https://www.instagram.com/p/CKOa6nrnEcC/?igshid=rk42aqpvmbw0

[responsiveparenting]

“It’s ok for children to experience painful emotions. It’s best if that pain is felt in the comforting presence of someone they trust.” J. Milburn Advocating for the acceptance of emotions is often misinterpreted as advocating for ignoring emotions. I am not advocating for Cry It Out methods. I am advocating for co-regulation and unconditional love and acceptance. I’m advocating for parents to feel safe in comforting their children and confident in their ability to help co-regulate, when the child does continue to express strong emotions. This can be one of the biggest parenting challenges, for so many. Our conditioning has caused us to react with fight or flight when our children demonstrate they are in pain. We want to stop their feelings from continuing because they make us incredibly uncomfortable so we ignore, distract or get frustrated. Whining, crying, pouting, screaming and even physical aggression is quite typical for a young child. These are ways children communicate their feelings and needs. But because so many children are taught to suppress these behaviours, they learn to suppress the emotion along with it, and so continues the cycle. We can instead try to work through our own triggers, while comforting our child. Model for our children how to hold space for someone and how to process painful emotions in healthy ways. It can be a slow and complex process to make this cognitive change but it can start with something as small as changing “don’t cry” to “it’s ok to cry. I’m here.” #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #attachment #attachmentparenting #secureattachment #secureattachmentstyle #feelingsarevalid #allthefeels #coregulation #empathy #compassionateparenting https://www.instagram.com/p/CFUP1BCnVhh/?igshid=5kblry4mmgp3