Im still here..and they arent.
Lucifer rubbed at the bridge of his nose. looking down at the pieces of paper covering his desk
His head tilting up looking at the city of pride covered in the darkness of night illuminated by lights
His head turns to look behind him the silence was unbearable his castle stood still in time, no sound, no movement, nothing but the unending silence before looking back to his desk.
Fingers gripping a pen as he looked down at the sheet the written lines felt like they were blurring together.
"Working so late? Again. As if it will change anything." His eyes looked up out the window again the bright city lights going dimmer and dimmer before darkness befell it all.
He heard something behind him but he dared not look. His fingers gripping his pen tighter.
"Your such a coward you know? Wont even look back, terrified to look back. What are you doing? Writing some law? writing some good? What made you begin to care?" The voice behind him sneered, angry, filled with wrath and malice His eyes shut tight before opening.
He now stood the desk and comfort of home gone. now he stood across a desloate wasteland. The smoke heavy in the air as he coughed slightly. The sounds of distant fighting, eruptions and explosions of magic.
"Ah the sounds of battle. Remember it. When we fell. this was it. this was your kingdom. IS YOUR KINGDOM...for you locked here, and you havent left it. So WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING!" Lucifer perks up and turning bringing up something as a sword collides with his own turning to face the...monster behind him.
Half angelic, half demonic...a combination of so many faces soliders, allies, friends...so many lost for this. A monster of his failures.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN FIX IT BY WRITING A FEW LITTLE REFORMS! NOW YOU CARE?!?! WHY DID WE DIE SO YOU COULD MOPE FOR 10 THOUSAND YEARS!" The monster screams slamming its weapon like a beast against his weakening defense.
"We should have lived! you should have fallen! why did we die?!? for what cause??! why did you lead us to death??! what was the point of it all!" There was no answer, no defense he could give as he raised his hand weakily the next blow sending his own blade to the ground as a sharp pain went through his hand.
Dropping to his knees eyes looking to a shaky hand his left with 3 of his fingers just gone...bleeding as his eyes so tired, so shaken, so broken looks to the monster of his own creation.
Then overwhelming pain as a light beyond all others engulfs him and then he jerks waking up with a scream his hand and leg screaming with some sort of phantom pain. his body panting in a cold sweat as he looked around...the empty space beside him in the cold dark room...
A hand slowly rests itself on the side of his face as he breathes in and out...before letting out a tired sob.
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Dark earths zodiac
The Bat
Creature of the halflight, you fly along the line of the brink, the almost-- the bat zodiac embodies the inbetween. They are often considered strange by their peers, but in the right setting their feeling of discomfort fades and they become a unique voice. Those under the sign of the bat tend towards anxiety, longing to live unwitnessed-- the bat is most comfortable in the dark, but not alone; this sign craves to exist without judgement. They tend to become lost in their thoughts, their own worlds, to the extent that they can forget to engage with the world around them. But those who love the bat know that they will always return. For all their shadows, the bat actively seeks to be compassionate. Having themselves felt both the harsh sear of the sun and the lonely chill of the moon, they find themselves able to sympathize with almost anyone.
And so you push through the hanging vines and into the sun. It is strange and open without the undergrowth, quiet without the birds. Will you say something to the forest before you go? Will you leave it one last secret? One last love? Or has it taken enough? The trees are silent.
one last secret
"When giaia was defeated. When the earth was put whole, it took weeks to discover all the damage caused. cities and nations erased...millions upon millions dead...all the while i quipped, i joked. it was just another adventure. Another puzzle...fight the bad guys win the day. Their is still rebuilding, when i walked the streets, when i saw parents cry in graves, when i saw children mourn their parents all who were taken too soon. “
“I saw the memorials..everyday is just another day of putting back the pieces....but you can still see it when i look at them, they look at me. Their is a horror in our eyes and a profound sadness....we survived something so terrible...i knew. After that, i had to change. I couldnt just let things happen, i couldnt just joke..sometimes people need to be stopped, they need to be laid to the ground and made sure something like that never happens again. That the fear and weight of their consequences is put to them, if they cant be made to see reason..then you must strike so hard they can never stand again. Some would say i've grown jaded...turned my back on the princples i have laid out always. “
“ I say that they would let something like this happen again just to hold onto fragile morals..morals mean nothing if millions have to die for them to be held...i was wrong, and strangely..my rival who i had seen as brutal, cruel..maybe sometimes a villain. That they were right...sometimes force, sometimes...revenge is the right path...and honestly now they might be able to guide me on who to...strike hard when needed but still restrain yourself from falling darker down a hole...because its hard now.”
“ Hard to just give up. To make sure nothing like this could ever happen again. To let the darkness fuel to put the fear of god in anyone that could claim to want to destroy or hold the earth in their grip. But i also know, i know now that if i did that. I would become like them...the only thing i truly fear though.”
“Is losing my friends, i still smile, i still quip to them..but im not like that really anymore, it feels like lying in a way...or maybe im just using it to act normal, to feel like i used to feel. I dont know...its so complicated now."
{ mun note, using sonic unleashed as a backdrop to my lore has been very fun because whilst the game is VERY SILLY if u take it with a serious lens it honestly becomes a horror game in a way and i think taking seriously could fundemtnally change sonic and thats what i’ve done.}
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Kinktober 2023 - Masterlist
I can't believe I'm participating in another kinktober, it's honestly incredible!! I wrote most of these in September, but the list may change if I add any extra stories throughout October. I will try weekly uploads, but it will always depend on the number of stories. And it's important to remember that each story will have its own warnings, but they will all have adult content.
Kinky Stories Masterlist
Party Monster - Dom!Reader x Wanda (exes going back together, rough, orgasm denial, toxic behavior, Ghostface mask).
Calming Nights [Blurb] - Wifey!Wanda x Reader (soft smut, breast play, couch, really domestic).
I Put A Spell on You - Dom!Wanda x Sub!Reader (brat taming, edging, orgasm denial, slapping, a lot of teasing, blindfold and magical restrictions, enchanted strap).
Shy Girls [Blurb] - Sub!Wanda x Reader (hair pulling, new kink discovery, dry humping).
Do I Wanna Know? - Wanda x Villain!Reader (shapeshifting reader, unprotected sex, creampie, praising, explicit consensual, secret (ish) relationship).
Sanctify - Cult Leader!Wanda x Brat!Reader - (rough, face-fucking, power dynamics, brat taming (ish), praising).
Extra Spooky Tales (+Late Requests)
Lacy - Werewolf!Reader x Wanda (mutual pining, semi-public, allusions to omega verse, beefy!reader, power!bottom wanda)
Heal - Scarlet!Wanda x Vampire!Reader - (service!top reader, praising, intimate smut, blood-feeding/vampire lore mentions).
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lay your life down and pretty
various hsr x gn!reader | wc: ~2k
In which you die (or they've already lost you).
tags/warnings: character death (reader), it's implied in dh's part but explicit and semi-graphic in hanya's, descriptions of mara and the insanity that comes with it, hardcore angst, hurt no comfort, there may be Lore Inaccuracies
notes: this was originally supposed to be four parts. i'm sorry it's only two but it's just been uhhh... hope you enjoy & thanks for the incredible support lately <3
Dan Heng makes the best pancakes.
You’ve expressed this undeniable fact to his face multiple times, louder in their progression just to see the tips of his ears burn that endearing red. These declarations are reserved for breakfast. At this time you also chide him for trying to weasel his way out of eating the most important meal of the day!
And he’d sigh, letting you hound him about food options until he’d crack under the weight of your grin and end up mixing batter at 7:30 in the morning.
(“I tried flipping them in the air once and the pancake slapped me in the face,” you’d regaled, head resting idly on your fist.
Dan Heng stared into the black of the skillet. “...Somehow, I don’t doubt it.”
“And just what is that supposed to mean?” you huffed.
He almost let not-quite laugh slip then, but because of his stuck-uppery, he just managed to look peeved. “I would appreciate it if you passed me the butter.”)
Instead it is around 9:00 in the morning, and Dan Heng is alone.
He’d stayed up late the night before doing some reading, causing him to oversleep and rush the process today. He’s almost burned his hand on the stove eye twice, nearly dropped an egg on the floor, and has just narrowly avoided burning the batch. Dan Heng is not clumsy (not like you were), and he is painfully aware that he is late.
After he plates the food, the oven clock reads 9:19. He gathers everything, including two sets of utensils and one awkward wad of napkins - before setting the table by heart. Your plate goes in front of the chair closest to the window, and his goes in front of the one adjacent to yours.
The rhythm of distributing each item eventually leaves him with empty hands. Everything is ready, but there is still something colossal missing from the scene.
Dan Heng stares hard at your empty seat before taking his own.
The pancakes are blackened around the edges, but it’s nothing a good heaping portion of syrup can’t fix, and the smell that wafts upward is sweet and inviting. The sun’s rays shining in from the outside world paint the kitchen in flecks of light that occasionally catch on his arm when he brings his fork to his mouth.
Resigned, his silverware clatters noisily to the table.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes, “I’m sorry that I was late.”
Predictably, there’s no response. Dan Heng’s throat feels like it’s closing up on him, and the syrup definitely isn’t helping. He dabs his mouth with his napkin for a good long while.
He is sorry. It wasn’t enough that he’d stayed up late the night before, but that he deliberately kept glancing at the clock and counting the hours until daylight arrived - reminding himself that if he drifted off, the next day would come much sooner.
He isn’t the type to procrastinate either. Even when you’re not here anymore, you seem to have a profound effect on his character. Dan Heng pinches the bridge of his nose. The sound of his voice echoing off the walls of the lonely kitchen is unwelcome. “Happy birthday.”
It’s strained, imperfect, and painful; which only serves to remind him of your insistence on celebrating his birthday as well. You had practically prostrated yourself at his feet, begging him to let you fuss over him - even if it made his vision hazy and palms sweaty. He needs to return the favor, even if the mere idea of another important date passing him up without you makes him want to hide.
So here he is.
Here he is, floundering terribly, missing you terribly, loving you terribly. Dan Heng wrenches his hand from its secure position in his lap to drum on the table.
“I got you something,” he says. “I… I didn’t know which color you’d prefer more, so…”
You’d tease him into an early grave if you were able to see the knitted oven mitt he’d picked out over two months ago. It’s an almost hideous shade of teal that he’s sure you’d love, especially since you forced him to bake with you regularly.
(He was shopping with March 7th when he’d seen it and then reflexively dumped it into his basket. His companion only asked him if he was planning on using it as kindling for the fireplace.)
Dan Heng closes his eyes and slides it over to your placement. For a second, he almost fools himself into thinking you might magically appear to brush fingers when you accept the gift with a bright smile. He has no such luck.
Your breakfast is getting colder, and there’s nothing to be done today; his friends, as much as he can say he appreciates them - also meddle quite a bit. His schedule was mysteriously cleared up and he was gently encouraged to go home and take the day off. The feeling of three pairs of eyes drilling holes into his back as he complied was a bit too potent to be coincidental.
So he sits there and pretends he’s eating with you for as long as he can. The stutters in the familiar rhythm that comes with today are things he can smooth out over time, even if it feels like a betrayal to you. You would never see it like that, which is why he can even live in a home without you in it at all.
(The oven mitt rests beside your full plate until the afternoon, because he cannot bring himself to clean up just yet. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to.)
Dan Heng is not a man who can afford to hope, but he’s already been in debt since the moment of his birth. If just one of his prayers is granted, he hopes it’s the one he runs through his mind every night:
In the next life, please let us cross paths again. And if there’s room for it, please let me love you for as long as I can.
He’s never been one for optimism, but it’s all he looks forward to.
Hanya’s hands cradle the expanse of your face.
Her fingers ghost over any healthy glow remaining in your cheeks. You’re slipping, rightfully so, but does it make her a monster if she wants to claw and rifle through the sands of time to search for any universe where you were spared from this cruel fate?
(She thinks it does.)
You can’t get the words out, but there’s a resigned film that glazes over your eyes - one that tells her that she needn’t lie about where you’ll be going. Your mouth forms silent syllables punctuated by wheezes that will surely send her careening under the depths of the unconscious at record speed.
“Han.. ya,” you croak, “Stay.”
“I will,” she promises, because she needs to - over and over, until you remember it always, even when you’re gone. Even when you’re suffering through the last moments of your fledgling life. “I will remain here.”
Her duty as a Judge of the Ten-Lords Commission is to oversee life and death on the Xianzhou. When Hanya drifts aimlessly like a spectre between inky darkness and blinding daylight, it has occasionally struck her that one day she might have to oversee yours.
Presently, your mind is being swallowed by the maw of mara, a madness that she’s all too familiar with; faced with her dull countenance, she must have witnessed thousands succumb to the fate of infernal life.
“D-Don’t cry,” you beseech. There isn’t much time until you’re no longer Hanya’s secret reprieve, but instead a writhing abomination - and she only has herself to blame. Had she not embraced you so tightly, would you be free of this curse? Would you still be smiling and dragging her by the hand through Exalting Sanctum?
“I will not send you there,” she breathes, “You are not deserving of—”
The agonizing cry you let out next is still beautiful. Even now you can mitigate the emptiness that’s dug its claws in her heart so deep that it’s become symbiotic with the organ. However, instead of the empty, Hanya feels its distant relative: the pins and needles. The hollow white noise crackles until she’s pierced with an arsenal of skeletal knives.
She could take it, and she would take it, if it meant that you weren’t about to die and then awaken again as a monster that desecrates the very concept of you.
She releases your now matching tear-stricken cheeks before seizing both of your arms. The thrashing has crept in, meaning that there isn’t much time before you start sprouting leaves and weeds like a statue abandoned by its devotees.
A sharp inhale through clenched teeth. “You have… to. M’gonna hurt—” you convulse in her grasp, “—somebody...”
Of course you’re worrying about others right now. Kindness is a relic of the past that you’ve somehow managed to exhume, restore to its full glory, and gift to Hanya like she deserves to touch others’ lives in the same way you have.
Every shopkeep knows your name, face, voice, and smile. Your warmth is infectious - even before she knew you in person, she knew of you by word of mouth. Xueyi had told her that the reason Huohuo was so resolute in her duties lately was because of “the person who defeated a bunch of reprobate hooligan bullies tormenting her”.
If her big sister held you in high regard, she figured you were one she wouldn’t mind exchanging greetings with if you ever crossed paths. However, the thing about you is that you always give more than you take; you too eventually gave her your smile over tea, your opinion on her writing, and a perspective from the light she usually only smothers upon first contact.
It seems that it was just a matter of time before Hanya extinguished you.
“You are not ready,” she begs pitifully, “You are not!”
She knows it’s never about being ready. Bad things always happen to good people - to sons, daughters, friends, big sisters, and lovers.
Lovers.
The word is foreign on the tip of her tongue. It’s strange to be actualized and even stranger to ascribe that label to your relationship, but Hanya doesn’t know what else to think when the knives stab her over and over to the elegy of I love you, I love you, I love you.
The trek from Fyxestroll Garden to the Alchemy Commission is sizable. The Dragon Lady could see you and do her best, but she’s seen where that’s led; best efforts gone to waste, inconsolable loved ones given false hope because they were too stubborn to let go.
Is that what she is? Too stubborn to let you go, even when she’s brought this karma upon you?
(Yes, something ugly whispers, this is your penance. Now it’s theirs too.)
“I...” you let out a strangled groan, and when your chest jerks upwards, it barely registers that you brush your lips against hers. There’s tears and snot everywhere, and you’re getting stronger - too strong for her to hold. Hanya’s forearms ache with the strain as gingko leaves begin to ravage your humanity and rip you apart.
The transformation process is cruel, but she promised to remain by your side. Twigs protrude from your neck, nestled between thorny brambles that poke and prod. You are not a Cloud Knight, so your screams aren’t muffled by armor - or muted by the numbness she feels when dealing with other cases.
It’s too real, it’s too much, and it’s not enough.
Drowned out by the previous mantra of I love you, the background vocals of I’m so sorry peter off into whispers that are soon lost among the sickening squelch of Xueyi’s blade cutting through you in one clean motion. The tip of the sword rests over Hanya’s heart, stained with your blood.
“...That’s not them anymore,” her sister says. It’s off-kilter, the way her brow is furrowed in a silent apology.
One can only hope.
taglist: @flower-yi, @moineauz, @aphrodict, @nomazee
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