#serafina is such a troll

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

All Saints’ Wake

Modern AU. It’s Agi’s second favorite time of the year. Estinien tries to make his girlfriend happy. Serafina has a party. NSFW.

Estinien tapped his foot while riding the elevator up to Agnes’s apartment in the Lavender Beds Building. Season’s changing, which means only one thing---All Saints’ Wake and that bloody nonsense. It’s all for children who get scared easily and shit…or adults who want to dress in stupid costumes for stupid parties. He exited the elevator, carrying his overnight bag and a bouquet of flowers for Agnes. Estinien knocked on the door and heard the prettiest voice ever call from the other side.

“It’s unlocked, love!”

Estinien opened the door hoping to find his girlfriend putting about in the kitchen or running into his arms.

What he saw was Agnes decorating her apartment for All Saints’ Wake.

Oh.

Agnes dropped some orange and black lights in a box and walked briskly to him. “Hi! How are you, sexy?”

“Good, good. And you?” How does she have so many decorations?! Where does she keep them?! “I see you’ve been busy.”

Agnes’s eyes widened and then it hit her. “Oh, right! I love All Saints’. I fucking love it. I decorate my apartment and classroom. I always love dressing up! Plus, Sera has a party every year, which is amazing! And you know what the best part this year is, sexy?” As Agnes spoke, she got more excited and is fucking vibrating with excitement. She’s so cute…and so hot. Cute and hot. “We can do costumes together!” Once she was saw his face, hers fell. “Or not.”

Fuck fuck fuck you have GOT to save this. Swallow your damned pride and do this for her. You love her damnit! Make her happy! Estinien rubbed the back of his neck. “We can. I just…I don’t want it corny or anything.”

She bit her lip nervously. “I promise it won’t be. I was thinking,” Agnes went into her bedroom and pulled out a school uniform. “I was thinking either zombie or vampire schoolgirl!” She held up a sweater, white shirt, and black skirt. “What do you think? You could be like zombie or vampire jock who’s my boyfriend.”

At least it’s not like dressing up as a kitten and puppy or some shit. “Hmph, I’ve got those clothes at least. Won’t have to shop.”

“Nope!” She’s happy again. Good. “I’ll get us the vampire ‘fangs’…high quality ones…” She’s fucking giddy! “Ooooooooooh this’ll be so much fun!”

“Fun” is certainly a word. Estinien hugged her. “As long as you’re happy that’s all that matters to me.” He rubbed her back and prayed to himself. Please, let her be happy. Let me make her happy. Even if it means looking like a twat, I’ll do it to see her smile.

***

On the night of All Saints’ Wake, Estinien escorted Agnes to Serafina’s apartment in Mist for her annual All Saints’ Wake Super Spooky Party. I can’t believe that was actually on an invitation. Those words. All together. For Fury’s sake. At least I’m wearing “normal” clothes…minus these damned vampire fangs. Remember, this is all for Agi. All for her.

“Oooooh I’m so excited! Sera’s parties are always so much fun. You’ll see, love!” Agnes exclaimed, holding onto his bare arm tightly. While Agnes was wearing her old school uniform (not the “ugly shoes” she had to wear---she went with sneakers instead), Estinien put on a pair of shorts (extremely short shorts all for my special girl’s benefit), a t-shirt (very tight, once again for her benefit), and my best ratty old sneakers.

“I bet.” Estinien snorted. “Which apartment is hers?”

“Let me have her buzz us in.” Agnes stepped up to the buzzer and chose Apartment 67. Then a loud buzz unlocked the door in front of Estinien. “All set!”

Upon entering Serafina’s apartment, it took approximately no time for Rena to roll her eyes at Estinien. “Is that seriously your costume? You realize this is an All Saints’ Wake party right?”

Agnes giggled as she approached Rena for a hug. “Oh, hush you. He’s a jock vampire, and I’m his straight-A student vampire girlfriend.”

“And the seven hells are you supposed to be Rena?” Estinien asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “You look like a—”

“Slutty lawyer? Why yes! It’s a shame Aymeric didn’t want to match…” Rena sighed dramatically.

“Dearest,” Aymeric’s sonorous voice boomed as he and Serafina (the hostess is wearing a butler’s costume with a fake bloody hatchet on her back) came into the living room, each carrying a tray of snacks. “I’m so much better than your slutty lawyer!”

Estinien’s eyes bugged at the sight of his best friend. A fancy waistcoat, big fur jacket, and A BLOODY WALKING STICK?!?! “What the fuck are you supposed to be? A bloody pimp?” Or an asshole on one of Agi’s romance novels?!

Aymeric’s mouth dropped open as Serafina, Rena, and Agnes all laughed. “How dare you! I’m my ancestor and namesake the first Lord Speaker of Ishgard! And you look like you’re ready to do some training at the gym!”

Wrapping an arm around Agnes’s shoulders, Estinien smirked. “Jock vampire boyfriend to this lovely vampire girlfriend.” Agi is by far the best looking and best costumed person here! That’s my opinion, and I’m sticking to it!

Serafina laughed. “Get a room you two! I’m expecting a few more victims…erm, party guests. Thancred should be back any second. I can’t believe I forgot to get extra ice.”

“Your hero in shining tights has returned, princess!” Thancred announced, wearing a sexy maid costume and holding large bags of ice in each hand. “Hello everyone! Thank you for coming!”

“I must say Thancred you look smashing in your costume.” Agnes said happily. “Best maid ever!”

Flashing his usual charming grin, Thancred nodded and gave Agnes a hug. “Thank you, my dear. And you look positively splendid as a vampire schoolgirl.”

The guests chatted for a few moments before Serafina spoke. “My beloved victims, I mean friends, welcome! First, we’re going to do a little twist on Pin the Feather on the chocobo…” She held up a jack o’lantern smile. “Pin the Mouth on the Jack O’Lantern! Either do a shot or ten spins with your eyes closed for everyone’s turn. Whoever gets the mouth to where it’s supposed to be gets a prize!”

That’s not a bloody twist. It’s just stupid! Why can’t we just drink and gossip and then I take Agi home so we can fuck? Remember, you’re here for Agi. Have fun for Agi…and Serafina too because she’s got great booze.

Several shots and spins later, Rena won Pin the Mouth on the Jack O’Lantern with a perfect placement. She shrugged. “I have to do all sorts of shit for modeling and have to walk perfectly. This was nothing!” Her prize was a bottle of Wineport’s best champagne, which is fine I guess. Champagne’s not my favorite, but I wanted to win damnit! I was so bloody close! That bloody pixie woman…

More drinks and food were served.

Everyone ate.

Then Serafina grinned.

“Now that all of you, minus Agi of course, are suitably liquored up, I think it’s time for some Truth or Dare.” What the fuck evil ass grin is that?!?!?! She’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped into an allegedly fantasia-addicted woman. “In a circle everyone. I think that the most sober among us should go first.”

Agnes blushed. “I-I’m not really the best at this game, Sera…”

Serafina chuckled, sipping her wine. “You’ll be fine, Agi.”

Agi at the very least won’t make someone do something too humiliating. Just not her nature, my sweet girl.

“I, erm…okay…Rena, truth or dare?”

Rena, a little glassy eyed from wine and a homemade margarita from Thancred, smirked. “Truth.”

“Why do you tease Estinien so much?”

The room fell silent as all eyes went to Rena.

AGI, SERIOUSLY?!!? YOU GO IN FOR THE FUCKING KILL ON YOUR BEST FRIEND?!?! Estinien, a little tipsy himself, leaned into her ear. “Sweetheart, you didn’t—”

“Because,” Rena said loudly. “he’s a loveable dumbass. Emphasis on the dumb. Of course I know you’re a good guy, Estinien. Aymeric wouldn’t be friends with you otherwise. You’re just a dumbass. A loveable dumbass.” Her light purple eyes narrowed at him. “And you better not hurt my Agi, or else I’ll fucking kill you and no one will find your body.”

Aymeric’s eyes widened. “SHE DIDN’T MEAN THAT!”

Agnes, mouth hanging open, nodded. “Ohhhhhh yes she did.”

Thancred coughed discreetly. “Ahem, Rena you’re up next.”

“O-oh no, you don’t Waters. Rena, you fucking pixie woman, you’d kill me and make my body disappear?!?!?” Estinien’s voice steadily rose as he spoke. “How?!?!?”

Rena tutted him and sipped more of her margarita. “No, no, no. It’s not your turn, dumbass. I choose…Thancred. Truth or dare?”

SHE…SHE FUCKING…WHAT DOES AYMERIC SEE IN HER?!?!

Thancred thought for a second. “Hmmm, dare.”

“Do the Moogle Dance.” Rena looks positively evil here. Why though? It’s just a stupid dance.

Thancred blinked, and Estinien swore he saw a scowl. “Ah yes, my favorite dance in the world.”

Agnes touched Estinien’s hand and whispered, “Thancred fucking hates the Moogle Dance.”

I can tell. He’s shit at dancing this. Even I’m better! ME! And I’m a shit dancer! Not like Mr. I Know How to Waltz Like a Fucking Asshole…

Once Thancred was finished, he sat down next to Serafina and looked at targets. We’re all his targets. Shit. Waters is no fool. He’s smart. He’s charming. “Ah, Estinien…” FUCK. “Truth or dare, my good man?” He asked with his most charming grin.

Shit. Fuck. If I say “dare” maybe he’ll simply let do some pushups…or do something wild. Fucking hells. Think Varlineau. THINK! “Truth.” He blurted out before he could fucking think! SHIT!

Raising an eyebrow, Thancred nodded. “Alright then. Who has the bigger cock---you or Aymeric?”

“I DO, OF COURSE!” Estinien bellowed. “MY COCK IS THE BIGGEST COCK, AND AGI LOVES IT!” Oh…oops. Maybe should’ve thought that through first. NO MATTER! “Tell them, Agi.”

A sound resembling a tiny squeak escaped his red-faced girlfriend, while the Serafina and Thancred laughed. Rena narrowed her purple eyes at Estinien.

Aymeric drank the rest of the wine in his glass and practically slammed it on the carbuncle coffee table. “I’ll have you know, SER that my cock is the larger one! And RENA LOVES IT! Tell them, darling.”

Rena rolled her eyes. “There’s only one way to settle this---get them out. Serafina, find some measuring tape.”

Agnes’s face somehow became more red. “A-are you for real? You want our boyfriends to just whip out their cocks and have Serafina measure with tape?!?!?”

“Agi, it’s the only way we’ll know for certain.” Rena explained as if she were talking to a small child. “And besides, what’s an All Saints’ Wake party without some cocks?”

“WHO SAYS THAT?!?!?” Agnes yelled, knocking over her plate of cookies. “WHO?!?”

Rena shrugged nonchalantly. “People.”

Estinien rose, smirking, and began to undo the tie on his shorts. “You’ll see who’s bigger, Mr. Fancy Pants Lawyer.”

Standing, Aymeric also smirked and started to unbutton his trousers. “Ah, but your confidence is misplaced, Estinien, because I have something you don’t!”

“A law degree!” Rena squealed and clapped. “My darling is so smart!”

…no. I don’t have a law degree, but that’s not needed in this situation, you mad woman!

Slowly pulling down his trousers, Aymeric’s sapphire eyes glittered with excitement. “Nay, but thank you dearest. What I have is known in my family as the LCD…” When he revealed himself, Serafina, Thancred, and Agnes gasped. “The Lord Commander Dick---the finest and largest dick blessed by Halone herself. Named also for my famous ancestor the first Lord Speaker.”

Estinien rolled his eyes. “You think you’ve got a famous cock? Look at this Coerthan born and raised cock!” Estinien’s cock, adorned with white curls, stood at attention. Because I’m already thinking about not only beating Mr. Lord Commander Dick but also fucking my super sexy girlfriend after! “Are we stroking ourselves to hardness and then measuring, Serafina?”

While the spectacle around her continued, Agnes simply sat with her mouth agape and looking between Estinien and Aymeric. “Are we actually doing this? Is this happening? IS THIS REAL?!?!?”

Serafina, thankfully, took pity on her friend. “Alright, alright. Let’s stop this before Agi’s brain explodes.”

“FUCK THAT! Measure our cocks!” Estinien bellowed. “Get yourself fully hard, lawyer boy, and let’s see who’s bigger!”

***

Several hours later, Estinien lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Equal. Fully hard we’re the exact fucking length. I thought for sure I was bigger…

“Sexy, for the love of…go the fuck to sleep.” Agnes muttered, curled against his side. Poor Agi nearly passed out when we did the measuring. She was pissed and kept calling us “stupid teenage boys” while rolling her eyes. I’ll make it up to her. I promise. I’ll do the most romantic shit ever next weekend when I go to Gridania.

And Aymeric can keep his not-nearly-as-impressive family heirloom to himself!

[rowenas-my-fave-child]

Draw ur fave ships like this:

“I wear the cloud pants and you wear the giraffe onesie in this relationship”- me to my bestie pop

[ladiesoftheknight]

Serafina - Stop trolling my squire.

Minerva - I wasn’t the one who told her I couldn’t possibly ride without a favour from my lady love.

Serafina - She made me buy you flowers... 

Mineva - You should buy me flowers more often.

After this scene

[ayellowbirds]

state of the system, edit 2024/9/04

There's been a LOT of additions to the system, over the past few months! A mix of stress, and developments in our comfort being ourselves due to internal work.

2024 really seems to be the Year of the Fictive for us. Welcome, Harley and Scarlet!

@autobots-one-half: the Wreckers subsystem: Arcee¹, Concord, Hammerdown, Horsepower, and Mayday

@chateau-maupertuis: Fenix, Sienna, Rey (short for Reynartine), any pronouns. Pansexual fox of many names.

@dzhukhe: Kerys Freeman*, it/its or she/her. Pansexual lumin gyne.

@exit-running: Lina Inverse, she/her. Bisexual female fictive, first fronted completely by surprise on May 17th, 2024.

@faxedstar: Shavit MiBeyt-Halley, co/com or they/them. Asexual nonbinary coronis.

@flowerhurricane: Lita, she/her. Human woman, biromantic asexual. First fronted 2023/12/6

@fraylin: Aidel*** RS, she/her. Near-human woman, possibly bi? bisexual.

@galaxycrowned: Taylor Barzelay, she/her. Transbian superheroine fictive, first fronted properly on May 29, 2024.

@golemgirlgoop: Rainbow Taylor, it/its or she/her or they/them. Lesbian demigirl golem, median subsystem.

@gothamgirlie: Harley, she/her. Fictive of nonspecific source media. Don't talk to her about the 2019 cartoon.

@gymnosome: Sera (short for Serafina) and Ocean, the Café Sub-Subsystem. Both she/her fictives; a butch lesbian and shoregender trixensexual demigirl ghost. Fronted for the first time May 19 and 20.

@hebephage: Ran, she/her bisexual kijin, fictive² median subsystem.

@luckyno13: Sophie/Sophia, she/her small anthro cat. First fronted completely by surprise on April 6, 2024.

@neveyleh: Miriam** "Bone" Bowen, any pronouns. Genderfluid human (corpse), sexuality is "yes".

@notarockyet: Maia, young (60 years old, older than our body) troll maiden. Fronted briefly in the mornings for a few weeks of February 2024 before properly spending time in front March 7th. She/her.

@okonomiyakimeansiloveyou: Raleigh Westchurch, he/him or she/her (alternating) bigender bisexual fictive. Made himself known for a while before she properly took front February 5th of 2024.

@playplayplayletsplay: Sitari, she/her. Magical girl fictive puppy. Fronted properly for the first time on June 8th, 2024.

@responsiblyirresponsible: Justine Wakely Tylor, she/her. Trans woman fictive, sexuality is a noncommittal hand-wave. First turned up in headspace a while after Aidel, but only recently started fronting for more than a few minutes.

@sungsingsanguine: Scarlet, she/her. Heroic!Himiko fictive heavily inspired by the fanfic Adalheidis but with some notes of other sources.

@ultra-intergalactic-cybot-g: Marina Liteyears, she/her synthetic fictive. Turned up 7/12/24.

@urukuduk: Sylviandrine Augustina Attercop, fae/faer or she/her. Bisexual woman, orc/halfling mix.

¹: I turned up 8/15/2023! I was around in the background of headspace for a while but nobody was sure who I was until I pushed to front.

² Ran has been hiding in-system for a while (we're not entirely sure how long), but only actually fronted for the first time on 9/9/23

*: Kerys didn't have a surname, so it asked its husband Haskell for his. This caused Haskell to briefly bluescreen, it was cute as fuck.

**: Fuck yeah! That's me, I'm not new but the realization that I'm my own damn person is.

***: Aidel is a fictive but felt anxious about using the name she had in her source media since this body is of European/Mediterranean Jewish ancestry and she's from an anime/manga/LN franchise. She showed up completely unexpectedly on December 2, 2022.

[facelessxchurch]

Derek most likely looks at tumblr blogs/twitters that openly don't like him the same way internet lolcows read their own kiwifarms threads obsessively. It's a theme

Most likely.

I feel like he looks in the tags in general tbh. Tho probably not as often as he used to anymore since the fandom is on life-support.

But yeah, I do kinda feel as if Landy is still reading my blog. It’s pretty much confirmed that he did read my blog before since he called out one of my anons for calling him a neckbeard or something like that lol. I feel that way bc some ideas I’ve mentioned keep finding their way into the books but were used for different characters

My headcanon about Serafina’s discipline being an extremely strong sensitive who doesn’t need to left a finger to bring her enemies to her knees with mental pain without having even to lift a finger has been used for Solace. (mentioned before here and here)

Since Serafina has been revealed it has been my headcanon that she and Mevolent had married for political reasons but have been lucky enough to fall in love anyways. Since it has been revealed that Sera is an FO descendant I’ve had headcanoned that as the reason Mev wanted to marry her to solidify his position as head of the Faceless church while Sera wanted his genes so she could bear a child that could be activated to become a Child of the Faceless Ones. Instead the marrying-to-produce-strong-offspring-but-falling-in-love-anyways plot has been used for Caisson/Solace.(mentioned here)

Remember that thing I wrote about the Obsidian Blade sucking out the soul of it’s victims and now that it’s broken the Unnamed and whatever else was in there is free now? That has been used for the Hirranian/Katahedral Crystals and the return of the Prime Dimension Serpine. (mentioned here)

One time is coincidence, but this like the third time now. And that’s me noticing 3 things without having actually read the phase 2 books fully (apart from SoW). Also:

Then there is also the thing where I was drawing Sera as blonde and Mev as brown and in the books he made a point of mentioning it’s vice versa despite him being pretty much infamous for barely ever bothering to mention specific physical attributes (which is really annoying if you’re a fan artist).

He had years to name the black crystals yet only bothers naming them AFTER I gave them the name ‘void crystals’. (mentioned here)

When I was designing the Obsidian blade we didn’t even know that it was a dagger and after I’m done with the design we get additional information about the Obsidian blade that kicks my design straight into being non-canon. (I’ve showed my design here and here)

And this is only the me-specific stuff I noticed.

In SoW he confirmed a lot of fan theories (Saracen’s discipline, Ravel having poisoned Saracen... ect.) and in the Grimoire he went out of his way to make fun of some of the speculations as to why Nef and Skul hate each other so much and shot most of it down. And I’m also pretty sure one of the FO in UtE was named after another Tumblr user.

Am I being paranoid again or is this actually sus and I’m getting trolled??

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Horror Story Prompts

Here is a list of summarizations of one-shots or full stories I will do for the blog. They each come from a television show.

OK K.O. Let’s Be Heroes

“House of Evil” - KO is dared to spend one night in a haunted house that no one will dare touch. Eager to prove himself a brave hero,KO takes the dare, but he is about to learn why people who enter the house are never seen again.

“Curse of Rikersville” - When KO, Rad, and Enid crash near a abandon town, they get caught up in a documentary about the mystery of the town which involve strange lights and ghostly figures. The group soon learns that this town is not abandoned as it appears. KO and his friends are about to face dark terror and find out what happen to the town’s inhabitants. For KO, he is about to experience horrors and secrets he never should have known.

Trollhunters

3. “The Forest Entity” - It is a long hike to New Jersey for Jim, Claire, and the other trolls. Along the way Jim encounters mythical creatures he has only heard about in stories. This appears to be a relatively fair journey until Jim and his friends encounter a being that even Gunmar and Morgana feared. The question is is this creature friend or foe?

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir

4. “Nightmare at a Paris Bakery” - Marinette is tired of getting harassed and bullied by her classmates because they all believe Lila. When her parents offer her a night to relax and go out, she eagerly agrees. Unfortunately, Lila and her cronies take the opportunity to sneak into Marinette’s house and trash her room in revenge for her “bullying” Lila. Luckily Marinette’s doll, Serafina, is guarding her room and is eager to handle unwanted houseguests.

[sandriinehebert]

say hello to my (revamped) little friend :)))))

lea michele has been my idol and source of inspiration ever since i was 11 years-old. i looked up to her and loved her and supported her. i met my two closest friends because of glee and lea. she’s the reason i got into glee, and glee is the reason why i decided to join roleplay years ago. i owe so much to lea. that being said, i do not support, condone or accept her alleged behavior. i knew about her being self-centered and difficult to work with, but i never thought i would log online some night searching for instagram photos for sandrine and find out all of that. i was reading the twitter thread all night long and watching a decade of my life disappear before my eyes. i know my feelings are worth nothing and are completely irrelevant & meaningless compared to the gravity of the situation that brought out all of these allegations. i also want to point out this is not a representation of mine or sandrine’s views on racism, bullying, performance activism or politics.

one of the first things that came to mine was sandrine and this group. i never bragged about being original, so it should come as no surprise that sandrine took a lot of characteristics from lea. her bubbly and lively personality, the tiny but mighty energy, the italian family background, the singing part, the cooking, the love of beauty, everything from her looks to her voice, it screams lea michele when i think about sandrine. changing her faceclaim was not an easy thing to do, because it implies changing this character i cherish with all of my heart. anyway, here’s a list of things that will change about sandrine from now on / things that will stay the same.

changes:

the faceclaim. lea is sephardi jewish (of turkish and greek descent) as well as italian. try and match that, it’s hard. plus, finding someone who is as expressive and joyful as sandrine is difficult too. i decide to use demet özdemir (who’s of turkish, bulgarian and german descent from what i read). compared to lea, i don’t know anything about her whatsoever. i lurked through gif tags and photos and she seems promising. if i don’t feel good using her, i will change to leighton meester and review, once again, the family background. (shoutout to lina for helping me, a true life saver!!!! <3)

alessandra “sandrine” serafina hébert. her last name changes. it is no longer lombardi, but hébert. (pronounced eh-bert in english, or hey-ber in french because the t is silent, i did some genalogy research and the surname hébert was, in some parts of the province, adapted from german so it fits with demet).

her age. sandrine is 30 turning 31 in september instead of 33 going 34.

her parents’ name. i will not redo the whole family post i did ages ago, but they all get a change of name and history. adamo is now only adam, and he’s 33 instead of 35. christian hébert is her father and monica evans is the mother. corinna remains corinna. christian’s father’s last name was actually esmer, but he changed to hébert when he moved in order to try and fit in the community.  the whole italian family storyline goes in the garbage bin, but since, historically speaking, traditional quebecer values are not that different from family, food and making babies, i’m good with that! i am absolutely not familiar with turkish and canadian history & relations so i have a lot of research to do there just to feel comfortable with this. i knew more about italo-québécois from school and from writing a paper about this community, hence why i felt no discomfort using cultural and historical aspects in sandrine’s story. montréal has the second largest turkish community of canada from stats i found, so, still, it’s not completely off either.

her career in ice skating / the reason she quit. sandrine will still be a successful figure skater who was amongst the best of her province, but i’ll twist things up. i won’t have her quit at 18, rather at 20. because (drum roll) i will give her a love interest. she started doing couple figure skating competitions at 17 and fell in love with her partner. they dated for three years, that innocent first relationship kind of love and he broke-up because he felt like he was too young to commit. hence why she still believes no one will ever love her as much as she loves them.

her timeline will go like this: at 20 she quit ice skating and dropped out of university. from 20 to 24 she stayed at home in montréal with her parents. from 24 to 26, she was roommates with adam in boston. and from 26 to now, 30 going 31, she is living on her own, running her salon in devinstone.

what stays the same:

lea’s voice is sandrine’s voice. when i write dialogues (which means 99% of all of my replies bc i can’t write), i hear lea’s voice. sandrine’ voice and singing voice will remain lea’s. that is unfortunately something i can’t let go of. 

she’s still lea’s height even if demet is 5″7.

she still has 2 of lea’s tattoos: the coffee mug and the musical notes.

she’s still a beautician. that does not change one bit! she still loves cooking. she still loves being annoying.

i will not delete any posts from before. i have so many faceclaim posts and instagram photos queued that some might slip away but those, i will delete them if i notice they get posted on accident. my queue has over 40 posts so it glitches and doesn’t always show me what’s in there.

everything else. she’s still the reincarnation of poppy from trolls, anna from frozen and pinkie pie from my little pony. big dumb dumb energy and all!

a faceclaim change should not be that big of a deal. but i’m a big baby who adored a celebrity for so long and i’m learning a hard lesson right now. i will proceed to changing her icon, theme, url, and to send a whole new biography to the main in the next couple of days. the main will also be contacted when they’ll come back to tumblr. since i don’t have discord, i couldn’t contact them sooner. i need time to process everything and to change sandrine’s muse without losing it. thank you for reading all of this and i am truly sorry if me using lea michele as a faceclaim ever offended any of you. i owed all of you an explanation and an apology as to why it takes so much time to change everything (idk who sent me this anon about me having to change my faceclaim but i was aware i had to do so since the moment i read the first tweets so i hope you didn’t worry about that too much). again, i’m sorry. stay safe, ily guys! <3

[robininthelabyrinth]

Countless Roads - Chapter 6

Fic: Countless Roads - Chapter 6 - Ao3

Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Gen, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, others

Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.

Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.

A/N: The timing of this is completely coincidental, this whole fic having been written over the last year or so, but this chapter happens to be Halloween-themed. So happy Halloween, everyone!

———————————————————————————-

All things considered, Len's amazed that it takes Lisa until her junior year to think of it.

Perhaps the real reason is that that's the first year Len and Mick start going to the university area to visit her. It's noticeably more high class an area than the ones they usually frequent, and Len only gives the okay because the statutes of limitation have run out on all of their currently outstanding warrants, which means that even if the cops do finger them, they can't do anything about it.

The area's also got a lot more people with a lot more leisure time than the areas Len prefers.

That's probably why Lisa had her no-good, awful, terrible idea.

"No," Len tells her, but he already knows he's going to give in. He's never been able to deny Lisa anything she really wanted. Well, nothing but the ability to ruin her life by taking up crime the way he has. Her record is clean and it's staying that way as long as Len can manage it - probably not forever, he's acknowledging it now, but he's going to hold off until there's no way to avoid it.

This, though, this isn't crime.

This is just dumb.

"C'mon, Lenny! It'll be great!"

"No."

Len glances over at Mick in hopes of some back-up, but no, Mick's grinning his head off like the goddamn troll that he is.

"No!"

"He's giving in," Mick tells Lisa wisely. "You can hear it in the growing desperation in his voice."

"You sure can," she agrees.

"This is stupid," Len argues. "Too stupid for words!"

"It'll be fun."

"No, it won't."

"Give me one good reason why it won't be fun."

"Because I see actual ghosts!" Len exclaims. "I have no reason to go to a haunted house!"

"Lenny," Lisa says with a giant grin. "That's why it's gonna be so much fun. You've never been, have you?"

"Never saw the point," Len says grumpily.

"I can't believe you've been denying Mick the pleasure all these years," Lisa says. "He wants to go, doesn't he?"

"You bet I do," Mick agrees enthusiastically.

"He only wants to go so he can laugh at me," Len argues.

"You bet I do," Mick says, sweet as he can manage with a shit-eating grin on his face. "What's your point?"

Len groans.

Looks like they're going to a haunted house.

Which apparently has all sorts of bizarre preconditions Len would never have guessed.

"What do you mean I can't bring my gun?" he asks Lisa, scowling. "I paid money for this concealed carry license."

"Money that wasn't yours," Mick points out, which, yes, but it doesn't matter; Len actually spent it. It's damn hard to find a judge corrupt enough to sign off on a gun license for a felon.

Luckily, this is Central City, and damn hard doesn't mean impossible.

"You still can't bring it into a haunted house," Lisa says firmly, hands on hips. "You might shoot one of the performers."

Len scowls at her. Sure, he's been forced to up his game recently, thanks to the mob war between the Santinis and Darbyninans that just got started, and upping his game at this stage means higher end heists, higher end heists means more risk, more danger, and more ruthlessness – and yes, sometimes killing people, especially people that threatened to back out of major jobs in the middle, people that Len couldn't trust wouldn't go running to the cops to squeal in exchange for a cut-down sentence on something else. But just because he's gotten to the 'killing people' point in his career doesn't mean that he's going to shoot innocent performers. He doesn't shoot innocents, and he would've thought Lisa would've known that.

"Out of fright," Lisa clarifies.

That just makes Len scowl even more.

"Relax, will you? It'll be fine, boss," Mick says, laughing. Officially, that's just something he uses for jobs in public, but he's started calling Len that, off and on; says it helps him remember.

He also says he likes the way Len's cheeks flush sometimes when he calls him that, but whatever. Len does not blush. He's cool and cold, damnit.

...he's working on it, anyway.

Len's newly imposed rule – you're in, you're in; you're out, you're dead – has at least and at last started getting him some respect in criminal circles, which always appreciate seeing ruthlessness when it's accompanied by success.

And Len has been successful. Other than those first early convictions for burglary, he's gotten better and better at getting away clear. The most the cops have had on him recently are a few jobs they can't pin on him and one or two misdemeanor trespassing charges.

They're starting to remember his name.

Not as much as they remember Mick's, mind you. Mick's pyromania remains as strong as ever, and during the lean times when the criminal underworld has gone underground to avoid renewed police focus – usually during election years – and there's no easy targets that haven't already been hit by others, there's more call for arsonists than there is for thieves, even highly skilled thieves.

Not that the police could pin those on so-called 'notorious arsonist' Mick Rory.

It helps that, as a ghost, he doesn't leave any DNA evidence.

But either way, all this led to one conclusion: Len and Mick are mad, bad and dangerous to know. They're the sort of people who carry weapons and know how, and when, to use them.

They do not get scared at haunted houses.

"You're gonna scream like a little girl," Daniela cackles.

"I hate you all," Len says.

"Have fun!" she sings out.

"Just for that, you're coming with us," Len tells her.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Daniela says. "Or, well, anything other than another lead on that asshole who murdered me – " Len is still looking, damnit! Serial killers don't walk around with a goddamn sign on! "—but hell yes, I'm there with bells on."

"Where are we going?" Nora asks, emerging from the kitchen.

"Len's never been to a haunted house before," Daniela says gleefully. "Ever."

"I have my own actual dead people! I ain't gonna be scared of some assholes in sheets!"

"Oh, my, you're going to be in for a surprise," Nora laughs. "I'm definitely coming."

Len rolls his eyes.

"How's your baby boy?" Mick asks Nora politely.

"College applications," she says, mingled joy and sadness at it: joy, for her son's growth; sadness, that she's not there to help him through it. She consistently declines Len's offers to give her some life to go say goodbye, though; she says that just saying something to him wouldn't be enough for her to pass on and anyway she's afraid that seeing her would only make him relapse into the anxiety attacks he'd been having for years after her death. It's a tough situation she's stuck with, and Len feel pretty bad for her, but he can't bring himself to be too upset; she's great to have around, very level-headed but with a wicked sense of humor and, at times, a temper as fiery as Mick's. "He's starting to send them out."

"Graduating senior already?" Len asks, then shakes his head at her nod. "Wow. Your baby boy's only five years younger than Lisa."

"Closer to four," Nora says. "He's nearly nineteen; he had to repeat a year due to family trauma."

Due to her murder, that is.

"See, this is why going to a haunted house is dumb," Len says to Lisa, opting to lighten the mood back up. "We have two real life murder victims right here with us."

"I'll ask Serafina to join us," Daniela decides. "She's just a hit-and-run, but it still counts. Then we'll have three murder victims to go a-haunted housing with us!"

Serafina, a law school graduate of Korean descent and non-binary gender, turns out to be more than happy to join them.

Lisa can't stop cackling with glee, and that makes everyone smile.

"I'm outnumbered," Len grumbles, and picks up the brochure Lisa obtained to figure out where he'll be driving the lot of them. "Wait, hold it! This says it's at an abandoned cemetery! I ain't going to no abandoned cemetery! Do you know how many dead will be there?!"

"It's an exaggeration," Lisa says, rolling her eyes.

"If there are any unquiet dead there, we'll protect you," Mick reminds Len.

"Nice try," Nora says.

Damnit.

The drive there is relatively uneventful – Mick watches Len like a hawk, which is thoroughly unhelpful and kind of insulting, given that Len's the one who taught Mick how to drive in the first place – and then even once they arrive, it turns out there's a line.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Len grumbles. "Not only do we have to pay for the privilege, they make us wait for it, too?"

"Grow up, babykins," Daniela says, skipping away to go gawk. "Go stand in the line."

Len goes.

He wishes he had his gun.

He wishes he had his gun even more when one of the fake tombstones (rather amusing little poems on them) shoots open and someone – or something – leaps out at them from a trapdoor hidden underneath.

The only reason Len is certain that the apparition is part of the haunted house is because everyone else in the crowd shrieks and jumps as well.

"Lenny," Lisa says patiently. "Lenny. You're very nice, very brave, jumping in front of me and all that, but you're blocking my view."

Len sighs and returns to his place in line, watching as what is now obviously a (surprisingly detailed) zombie limps around the line, groaning at people.

Mick prods at Len's arm. Len looks at him.

"I leap in front of you," Mick says. "Not you in front of me."

"It was instinct."

"It was shitty instinct. You soccer-mom-armed me! And I'm the invulnerable one!"

No kidding. Len remembers very well how Mick's invulnerability had been the only thing that'd saved their hides when they'd been dumb enough to get involved in the stupid mob war with a job that wasn't as well-thought-out as Len had thought it was. It isn't just Len getting his stupid ass kidnapped because of payments anymore, oh no, now it's the Santinis and the Darbyinians, each with a grudge and a hell of a lot of firepower. Len and Mick had gotten the hell out of the war for now, making it clear they were purely freelancers, but the war was becoming more and more all-encompassing and they'd end up having to either side with a Family or making themselves respected and feared enough to be able to scare both sides off when the inevitable came calling.

Since neither Mick nor Len has any interest in working on Family lines, that meant that these days they're focusing on establishing their own reputations.

And part of that, yes, meant using things like Mick's invulnerability to its best advantage.

"I'll let you take the real threats," Len offers.

Mick rolls his eyes at him.

Len has only ever walked by the haunted houses they'd had in his neighborhood when he was younger, the ones in the poorer parts of town that even the slums looked down their noses at, and he hadn't been impressed by the quality.

Apparently, and no one had told him this, haunted houses have seriously upped their game in recent years.

"What the fuck?!" Len shouts.

Lisa is dying. "Oh man," she cackles. "Oh, man, Lenny, your face!"

"The fuck even was that?!"

"The half-spider mutated monster or the evil scientist with the rotting arm?"

"Neither! The other thing!"

"Really?" Daniela asks, eyebrows arched and shit-eating grin on her face. "Out of everything in the hallway of horrors, the cannibal is the thing that gets you?"

"He was eating someone's face off! That’s just wrong!"

Nora cackles behind him.

"I'm glad I'm amusing the lot of you," Len grumbles. He actually is glad, especially poor Nora's been sad recently about missing all of her baby boy's important milestones. But still. A man's got a reputation to uphold, and this stupid haunted house is doing nothing for it.

And then Len jumps half a foot into the air because some demonic squid shoots out its tentacles from the wall.

"Your face," Mick wheezes. "Oh God. Lisa. Lise. Tell me there will be photos."

"So many photos," Lisa says happily, leading the way into the next chamber.

Len's idly tracking the number (this is room ten – how big is this place, anyhow?) and mentally mapping the place, mostly to keep from strangling anybody – Lisa was right to take away his gun, sadly; he's reached for a weapon at least three times so far. Still, it’s fine. Not having it doesn't make him less dangerous.

Though it does make him think that assassinating someone at a haunted housed would be a great way to go about it – an audience already geared to assume that any screams or dying noises are fake, that any bloodied corpses are special effects, that any smell is clever chemicals...

The thought occupies him a bit (mostly through the cockroach room – Lord, why is there a cockroach room?!), enough that he only vaguely notices one of the haunted house attendees, face painted white and his clothing dusted with flour, coming forward to tap Lisa on the shoulder and explain that she should follow him for the next segment.

Some multipart horror involving Lisa spitted on a stake, Len can only assume, and that's what he does assume right up until Daniela turns to ask him something and sees the guy leading Lisa away.

"Len!" she shouts. "That's him!"

"What?" Len asks, bemused. No one else responds, of course; he doesn't have enough energy to make three people as strong as Mick, and at any rate being invisible means that Daniela, Nora and Serafina don't have to pay for a ticket. Mick turns with a frown.

"Him!" Daniela shrieks. "Him! The one! The one who beat in my face, Len!"

"Wait," Mick says. "The serial killer?"

"We've already seen the serial killer exhibit, guys," Lisa calls over her shoulder.

"No," Len says, eyes going wide as he puts it together. Daniela's been on his case to find the asshole who murdered her – and a number of other sex workers in the years since – since day one. "Lisa, the guy next to you is an actual serial killer!"

"What?" Lisa asks.

"Don't be crazy," the guy next to her scoffs, putting his hand on her arm. "Come this way or you won't be able to participate in the next room's haunt."

Nora dashes forward, through the wall, and shouts, "The next room's about killer robots! No audience participation!"

"You're lying," Mick growls, stepping forward.

"Get your hands off my sister," Len adds.

The guy takes one look at the two of them and turns to run.

His mistake is in trying to pull Lisa along with him.

She spins around and knees him in the balls. "Don't you ever grab me!" she shouts.

"He's the one who killed Daniela," Mick snarls.

"Get him!" Daniela shouts, lunging at him, but she's too weak; she passes straight through and all he does is shudder.

Mick and Len both step forward, but that's when the guy pulls out a gun.

"Who the fuck is Daniela?" he pants. "How'd you know?"

"Ooooh, if I could strangle you!" Daniela hisses.

"I told you to let me bring a gun," Len bitches to Lisa.

"There aren't normally actual serial killers in haunted houses, Lenny!"

"With your brother's luck, we shoulda known," Mick says, taking a half-step over until he's blocking Len.

Len scowls at him and nudges him in Lisa's direction. He can take care of himself.

Mick scowls back.

"Will you all stop talking?!" the guy shouts. "I've got a gun!"

"Yeah, and from the way you're waving it around like a kid's toy, I bet you know how to use it about as well as your undoubtedly limp dick," Lisa snaps.

Mick and Len share a glance – only Lisa – and Mick charges forward to get between the serial killer and Lisa just in time for the guy to pull the trigger.

Mick catches the bullet in his shoulder, of course. "See what you did?" he tells her, plucking it out and waving it at her. He doesn’t bother faking the bleeding. "No sense of self-preservation, you Snarts."

"How'd I get pulled in there?" Len protests. "I ain't the one that mouthed off to the serial killer with a gun!"

"Don't get me started on people you've mouthed off to, buster!"

"What the hell is wrong with you people?!" the guy shouts, but by this point the noise and the commotion and – Len would bet – the backed-up line has drawn over some actual haunted house employees. Volunteers? Len's not sure.

Their makeup's a lot better than the killer's, anyway.

"Excuse me – " a realistic skeleton starts.

"This man was trying to get me to go with him so I could be part of the haunt," Lisa announces, pointing at the killer. "He said he was an employee here, and when I refused, he aimed a gun at me!"

The guy looks down at his hand to confirm that yes, the gun's still there.

Not for long, though; Len plucks it out of his hand - way too easily because the guy barely had a grip on it by this point, too slack-jawed with disbelief - and offers it to the skeleton. "Careful with that," he says mildly. "It's got live ammo."

The skeleton looks at the gun in horror, then at the guy. "Uh, he's definitely not one of the volunteers –"

"Maybe you should call the cops," Mick suggests.

"Fuck no," the killer says, and tries to run.

None of them were really expecting it – it's a one-way haunted house starting to fill up with people on each side, where the hell does he think he's going to go? – which is probably why he gets as far into a hidden passage by the wall as he does.

Doesn't help, of course.

By that point, Daniela's run back to Len to wordlessly beg for some extra life, which he's given her, and she uses everything he gave her in a single burst of poltergeist power, snaking out the audio-visual cables that were threaded through the walls to wrap around him.

"Asshole," she says, not without some serious amount of satisfaction. "I'm gonna love watching your trial."

"What the fuck was that," the skeleton says, high pitched. "That wasn't part of the set up!"

"A ghost," Len says innocently. "Ain't this place supposedly haunted?"

Lisa elbows him in the ribs.

It's all terribly anticlimactic after that, of course. Someone calls the police and they all have to give statements, with one of the detectives (some guy named Joe West) commenting that this might very well be the only night he actually believes Leonard Snart to have an alibi.

Very funny.

They end up charging the guy on attempted kidnapping just to get him with something, but Len insists on the fact that he's a serial killer with enough emotive force that West reluctantly calls up a judge and gets a warrant for the guy's house, where they find two of the girls that have gone missing from the streets recently, one a prostitute and the other a college student with bad taste in makeup - apparently he targeted them based on that? Fucking people sometimes. It mostly resulted with Lisa getting incredibly insulted about the guy's inability to tell a classy traditional smokey eye from a trashy raccoon or something like that, anyway, since Len's honestly got no idea what the words coming out of her mouth meant after the first minute. But the two rescued girls agreed with her, so, okay.

West goes into hyper alert after that, which is all to the good, and Len even manages to get in there that the guy's responsible for killing Daniela, though he obviously can't provide proof. They find some evidence in the guy's house, though, which means he is definitely not long for this world – through the justice system's mercy, or through Len's. He's got enough friends in prison willing to shiv a particularly sick fuck if the justice system can't bring itself to do it for them.

And, of course, a few people caught blurry images of Daniela's trick with the cables, and the line to go to that particular haunted house the next year is five times as long.

Lisa insists on going again.

Len still thinks it's stupid.

Lisa says he's just scared.

Which is totally not true.

(But do they have to keep using that cannibal makeup?!)

"You got a problem, huh?" Mick growls in the other man's face, the fierceness of his glare not at all dimmed by the manic grin that shows how much he's enjoying himself.

"Mick," Len says, long-suffering. He’s reclining by the table, a position of power. “Let him go.”

"Nah, boss," Mick says, not turning away from the man he’s got pressed up against a wall. Not that Len actually intended him to – they’ve got a reputation to uphold now, after all. They have to show that they’re willing to put their hand in when someone is screwing with one of their jobs, no matter who it is. It's all according to plan; Mick's just freestyling a bit. “See, I think he's got a problem. I think he wants to say something. That right?"

"No! No, not at all, nothing to say," the man gibbers. Mick is very large and very intimidating, even to powerful mobsters' sons like Nicolas Santini, who are notably less confident when their bodyguards get beaten up and knocked out, and they're being held up three inches from the floor by their jacket lapels. Len and Mick had nabbed three targets before the Santinis could get to them, which pissed them off, and little Nicholas had been sent to “solve” the problem through the usual bull-headed Santini approach of threats and intimidation.

He hadn’t exactly gotten very far.

A blood family member of one of the most fearsome Families in Central City, technically even a Don by their standards, and yet here he is, quivering like a bowl of jello before a pair of freelance thieves.

Very good freelance thieves.

Nicholas Santini really should’ve listened to his cousin’s stories about how they’re not just thieves, they’re monsters that rise from the dead.

Len smirks.

They’ve gone a long way from the days when Len got kidnapped and Mick got shot trying to rescue him, and Len likes it this way much better.

Not that this solves the problem for good, of course. Sending a member of the actual Family against them meant that the Santinis were taking Len and Mick’s firm no-Family-affiliation freelance position a bit personally, which both wasn't a surprise but was still really annoying. Len’d have to make a point of hitting some Darbyinian targets in the next few months just to make clear that their neutrality was unaffected; that should be enough.

Personally, Len’s just happy that he was able to get Lisa to go out of town after she’d graduated. Now that’d been a fight for the ages – the way this one definitely wasn’t – because Lisa had been reluctant to leave Len even if she didn’t have the same attachment to Central City that he did.

An attachment that she referred to as “idiotic” and “unhealthy”, which it was not. A man can love the city he was raised in, even if that city was objectively a hellhole ripe with corruption, poverty and crime.

Huh, maybe that’s why Len likes it so much. He fits in so well here.

Okay, sure, there’s been the growing number of weird science laboratories getting settled here – Mercury, Star, the whole sheebang – but there’s an army base not far away to serve as clientele, cheap land with very low environmental regulations, and by this point Len’s honestly used to the idea of his slums being used as rich people’s dumping grounds.

He doesn’t like it when they do that, mind you, which is why he robs the rich assholes in charge of bringing toxic dumps to his city more often than he does anyone else, but there’s not much else he can do to express his displeasure.

At any rate, Lisa had managed to get a job offer at one of the most prestigious engineering firms in the country, all the way out in Boston, and that’d gotten her to go when none of Len’s other arguments had worked, if only because Len had refused to let her pass up the opportunity and she’d reluctantly agreed.

Sure, she still visits regularly – Len visit her, too, but he can’t force her not to come to Central – but at least she’s out of the worst of the mob war.

“I swear!” Seriously, is the guy still whining? Honestly, Len’s ashamed of him; he’s born and raised Family, he ought to have a bit of a backbone. They’re not even torturing him! They’re not even threatening to torture him! The worst they’re threatening him with is a bit roughing up! They really don’t make them like they used to, and thank heaven for that. Len’d far rather put up with idiots like little Nicholas here than the big kahunas that his dad swam with when Len was a kid: Don Cesare, Don Giovanni, Don Tomio of the asshole-kid-smashed-up-Len’s-head fame... “I didn’t say anything! I didn’t mean anything!”

"That right?" Mick growls. "'cause I woulda sworn I heard you talking earlier, saying things about Snart here..."

"No!"

"Mick," Len says, finally managing to quash down his amusement enough to sound appropriately stern. "He's not worth wasting your energy on."

"Fine," Mick says, and releases the guy's jacket. "Looks like it's your lucky day. Now go."

The guy goes as quickly as he can manage.

Mick returns to Len's side, now grinning like a loon.

"Was that extra bit entirely necessary?" Len asks, trying not to smile. Mick does so enjoy himself when there are people to push around...

"You know it is," Mick says firmly. "We gotta make clear you’re the one in charge of me, so that your reputation’ll get even more fearsome than mine; that's the only way they'll respect you. Order of operations, boss."

Len shakes his head. It’s not that he isn’t convinced – Mick can be very convincing when he wants to be – but at the same time…

"You'll get in trouble one of these days," he warns, not really meaning it.

Mick snorts. "What's the worst that can happen?" he asks, rolling his eyes ostentatiously. "They gonna kill me?"

They end up shooting him.

Len groans in annoyance.

Not again.

You’d think they’d learn by now.

"I'm thinking of going back for my masters," Lisa says. "Maybe a PhD."

"Really?" Len asks, phone shoved between his shoulder and his ear. "I thought you said you were done with school. Straight into the workforce, you said."

"Things were said," she sniffs. “I’m not going to be held responsible for past-Lisa’s statements.”

Len chuckles and steps around the still-cooling corpse on the floor – an ex-associate who'd thought he was above such things as rules. Len squelches the feeling of guilt: the guy had thought he could get away with skimming off the top of the funds they'd collected for the job because he was buddies with Mick, even though Mick'd warned him he wouldn't get any special favors, and then to add insult to injury, when Len'd called him out on it, he'd had the arrogance to try to pull out of the job entirely.

Len's reputation makes it very clear what happens if you're out, and that reputation makes it impossible not to do what he did next.

Still, Len can't help feeling bad about it. He hates killing people – it only adds to the number of ghosts in the world, unless he's lucky, and ghosts of people he killed are always unquiet – but not killing's a luxury he can't afford if he wants to survive in the criminal underworld.

He has to be cold and heartless, just like dear old dad – may he rot in hell or a jail cell, wherever he is now – always said.

Plus, this means he needs to get someone new, and he hates mid-job recruiting.

"If it's what you want, Lise, you should go for it," Len tells her. "You know you don't need my permission."

"I know," she says. "But there's always the matter of money to think about."

"Ahhhh, I see," Len teases. "This is less of an FYI and more of a call to the big brother bank, huh?"

"Actually, I'd been hoping to earn my own way," Lisa replies. "Unfortunately, doing grunt work as a baby engineer in a big company that pays peanuts –" The market for bachelors-only engineers is a tough one, according to Lisa. "— and skating in some ice shows in my spare time only gets me so much."

Len has the sinking feeling he knows what her next comment is going to be. "Lise, I can just give you the money," he points out, trying to forestall the inevitable.

It doesn't help.

"I want in on one of your jobs," she says firmly. "Time for me to earn my own way."

"I've let you in on jobs before," Len protests.

"Sure, in baby jobs," Lisa says. "I know you're planning something big, and I want in."

"I've already collected a crew, Lise."

"Mick says you need a new ringer."

Len stops, affronted, and glares at Mick, who shrugs, clearly well aware of what's being discussed. Undoubtedly why he’s hiding behind a newspaper across the room.

That doesn't make it any less inappropriate. Len literally just shot the guy! How did Mick even find time to tell her?!

"Lise – "

"I can do the job, Lenny. Gimme a chance."

"I know you can do it – " Lisa's one of the natural grifters of this world; Len's always been impressed by her skills. That’s never been his problem. "—the question is, why would you risk a perfectly good, clean record when I can just get you the cash?"

"Oh, please," Lisa scoffs. "You haven't been caught in ages. And if you're feeling particularly paranoid about my record, you can plan me a nice getaway. Ghost-amplified, if necessary."

Len scowls. He still doesn't like it.

"I already owe you so much, Lenny," Lisa continues. "Let me actually help with this one. Please?"

"What's your real motive here?" Len asks, suddenly suspicious. "You like it when I give you gifts."

Lisa sighs.

Hah! Len knew there was another reason.

"I need it for my resume," she finally admits.

Which –

"What? How?"

"Not my work resume, you jerk," Lisa says, sounding amused. "In case I ever need to pull a job, really need to, and you're not around to vouch for me. The Snart name goes a fair way towards it, but nothing substitutes for actual experience – you've said so yourself."

Len grumbles. He has said so, damnit.

"I have the baby jobs you let me help out with," Lisa continues. "One or two big-name heists with notable takes that I can name-drop would let me skip the little leagues, go straight in with the guys that know what they're doing instead of the crappy ones that need to go back to con school –" Meaning prison. "— before they get their act together."

"But why do you need to do crime at all?" Len asks, aware that he's whining. "Lise -"

"Even with your talents, you might get caught one day," Lisa says, her voice suddenly hard. "And if that day comes, when that day comes, I want to be the person you call to help mastermind your escape. Me. I want to be second in line in your phone –"

"You're my first speed-dial, Lise; you know that."

"— second only to Mick."

Well, yes. Len's always going to go to Mick first, but he doesn't need a speed dial for him.

"You know what I meant," Lisa says warningly.

Len sighs. She's not wrong. It would be good to have another person he can rely on, someone he can really trust, especially if it comes to a question of needing to plan an exit route that relies on revealing the full extent of Mick's ghostly abilities. Going temporarily invisible and intangible is incredibly useful for a thief, but Len’s determined to make sure that no one else in the underworld ever figures out what they can do. He’s been threatened too many times to be comfortable with anyone knowing all of his tricks, and his tricks include Mick.

He’s done a good job of it so far, making sure that everyone thought the stories about Mick rising from the dead are just exaggerations, but there will undoubtedly be jobs, or at least prison breaks, where he’ll need to use Mick’s abilities and rely on a crew, and that crew had better be only made up of people he really, truly trusts.

But this is his baby sister.

“Lenny, please,” Lisa wheedles. “It’s important to me. I want you to be able to count on me the way I’ve always counted on you and Mick.”

Well, if she puts it that way, it’s hard to say no.

And, well, they do need a new ringer now that what’s-his-name is no longer going to be available on account of being dead and having passed on…

“Fine,” Len says, giving in with a sigh.

Lisa cheers.

“How long till you can get to Central City?”

“Couple of hours,” she says promptly. “I’m already on my way to the airport.”

Len rolls his eyes. Of course she is.

“Great, I’ll fill you in on the job when you get here,” he says. “You’ll need to be in tip-top grifting to do it, though; it’s going to be a tricky one.”

“A tricky one?” Lisa asks, sounding amused. “Is there something the great thief Leonard Snart, robber of ATMs and breaker of jewelry stores and museums, still considers tricky?”

Just for that, Len’s going to tell her now.

“We’re gonna rob a moving train.”

Lisa laughs.

Len doesn’t.

“…you’re joking, right?”

Len smirks.

“Lenny!”

“I was getting bored with the ATMs and the jewelry stores and the museums,” Len says innocently. “Wanted to up my game a bit. What’s wrong with that?”

“Are you insane? We don’t live in a Western!”

“Now, now, Lisa, you never know when you might need to be able to ride a horse or a fire a six-shooter,” Len says, starting to laugh, his straight face breaking at the tone in her voice.

“Just for that, we’re taking horseback riding lessons with some of the leftover money,” Lisa warns. “You, me, and Mick.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Len lies. How hard can riding a horse be, anyway?

Lisa is still mumbling curses on his name when Len hangs up the phone.

“It go well?” Mick asks, looking up from his newspaper hopefully.

“Yes, Lisa’s joining us for this one,” Len tells him, rolling his eyes again when Mick breaks out into a broad smile. “And afterwards, we’re all going horseback riding.”

The smile disappears.

“…what?” Len asks. “They can’t be that tough.” But he’s uncertain now. Mick’s expression of horror is really convincing.

“We had horses on my farm,” Mick says grimly. “You are not getting on one of those hell-beasts.”

“You know what,” Len says, “I’ll just – let you tell Lisa that when she arrives.”

And then he flees, laughing his head off, because now Mick’s shouting curses after him.

Serves him right, conspiring behind Len’s back like that.

[charminglyantiquated]

Elsewhere University: changelings? Like, fairies who get swapped for humans? Just wondering if there might be anything on that?

OK LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CHANGELINGS

I’ve been thinking about this all day actually, your timing is A+

A changeling, although you know they’re fake and they know they’re fake and all your classmates know they’re fake, will keep on living in your dorm until you directly call them out on it. If you’re polite about it they’ll leave; usually they drift around campus for a while, attending classes at random and sleeping in the gardens. There’s a whole meal plan set up for them, which the Courts pay for yearly in…things. Odds and ends. Trinkets. On the whole best not to ask. What it comes down to is that any changeling lacking a dining hall card can pick one up on the third floor of the Languages building, and your dining halls have more fresh produce than anyone others that you know of.

And sure, sometimes there’s times where your roommate and best friend is gone and in their place is this monster-thing that looks just like them but isn’t, and you’re angry and scared and you just want them out of there and maybe could they give you a tip on who to talk to to get Serafina back?

But there’s got to be others (especially for freshmen) where your roommate was that guy who left half eaten tins of tuna fish all over the place and vapes incessantly and you had ants by October and he won’t stop making off-color jokes to any girls you bring over - and then suddenly he’s replaced by this thing that, ok, sometimes puts thumbtacks in your bed and laughs about it, and eats literal sticks of butter as snacks, but also is very quiet and fastidiously clean. They jam the fuck out to all your music and they’re a riot at parties and they’re teaching you how to climb trees better and they always repay favors - if you clean the shared bathroom they’ll bring you a very fancy coffee the next morning in a flavor you’re pretty sure the school cafeteria doesn’t have. Or you buy them a bottle of sweet wine while you’re at the store and the next week they help with your essay about 12th century poetry. You’re buddies. You’re teaching them a secret handshake. Maybe you can hold off on reporting your official roommate’s disappearance for another week or so. And this goes on until school gets out and the RAs have to do the yearly troll the the Elsewhere for anyone who hasn’t come home yet.

And on the flip side of the coin: RAs. RAs and changelings are in some ways each others mirrors. They’re both in-between things - student/authority, human/fae, etc. - and in-between things, things that are in balance, merit some respect. A pact was made several decades ago that allows each safe passage up to a point in the others’ world, as ambassadors of a sort. Accidents can happen - you can still be careless, still be rude, still make enemies. But unprovoked violence towards either is very strictly prohibited by both sides. So changelings  can replace students with relative safety and in turn RAs can, at the end of the year, go hunt down any students from their floor that still haven’t come back one way or another and either do their best to ransom them or at least get the necessary forms signed.

On the note of RAs - Elsewhere U has a special fund for end-of-year bargains. This has been used, in past years, to purchase a deck of illustrated tarot cards and a book of 1001 Card Games To Play Alone, sixteen pounds of durian fruit, a very soft fleece blanket, a lot of movie posters with Harrison Ford on them, bodice rippers involving dinosaurs, and $800 of random shit from the dollar store.

The RAs, once they’ve found the students, will try to buy them back if they can (the success rate is not 100%). But once in a while students refuse to come back - they’re in love with a person or in love with the whole world; they’ve found a purpose here or they refuse to return for other, darker reasons. At this point the RA will do what they can to ensure they’re staying of their own free will. If this in in fact the case they get signatures on the form and leave empty handed.

[facelessxchurch]

What we’re your thoughts about the book?

Some asks were answered already in this post already so I just smacked those asks in here at the part where I talk about the topic in question, which is why the answer may not 100% fit the question.

Massive “Seasons of War” spoilers below the cut:

First off, of all, this book read like GoT/any zombie movie ever. With the necromancers being like the white walkers, Vile is the night king and daugar are the wights. even with the necromancers crumbling away after Vile got killed Tell me I’m not the only one seeing that.

I think there was a lot of fanservice and some confirmed headcanons in the book, which I really liked. Saracen magic got revealed, there was a return to the Leibniz dimension, the Vile vs Vile fight so many wanted finally happened (tho that was kinda underwhelming) and the Dead Men returned which I’m sure made a lot of people happy. 

Ravel poisoning Saracen during the war and Vile being so powerful bc of being dead were two popular headcanons that got confirmed. And I am personally so happy that this book killed the ‘there is no sarcasm in the Leibniz dimension’ headcanon bc I bloody hated that.

Finally, Landy tries to please the old fans instead instead of what feels like purposefully pissing them off. I guess the phase 2 book sales weren’t that great so far (nice try blaming it on the pandemic, but no). 

I’m also glad that the romance in this book was kept to a minimum bc The Val/Militsa kiss in the beginning, yikes, fanfiction has better written kisses than that. And the the dialog for the lesbian love triangle (bc for some reason Ms.Wicked aka Laura’s self insert is Militsa’s ex??) was cringy and stiff as hell, it felt more like first graders trying to do a dramatic play and not natural at all.

Surprisingly enough Mevolent’s and Serafina’s relationship seems to be the most healthy and romantic in the entire series and I have no idea if that was on purpose or if Landy just has twisted views on relationships.

I however am actually kinda happy with how Mev was written. He was sympathetic and charismatic, tho some of the stuff he did doesn’t fit to they way he’s characterised when he’s on screen (I know he is probably lying 90% of the time he speaks, but still). Like, banning all languages apart from English doesn’t seem like something a man who cares about culture, literature and art would do. It also seems kinda stupid bc those languages will be forgotten eventually and if they need an old text translated no one will be able to do it. Also, why English? Isn’t Mev old enough that his first/original language should be Gaelic? So weird. I have the feeling this was mainly done so Valkyrie (and with that the audience) can understand what the people on the continent are saying bc I very much doubt she understands/speaks any languages apart from English. 

But I loved that Mev was also shown as insanely smart. He managed to outsmart Val multiple times. And I love how he doesn’t need his magic to fight, how quick and agil and skilled he is. So I take it that his fighting style is more based on agility and not getting hit, and he uses brute force only when forced into it (by Darquesse/the Unnamed). I was wondering about that bc his armor is made of leather and chainmail instead of metal plates which is considered light armor and not something a tank type of fighter would wear.

What really rubbed me the wrong way tho was when he was talking Tanith and Skul and more or less stated the war wasn’t a challenge anymore ever since Skul died. Or when he was talking to Val being like ‘you’re more powerful than I could ever hope to be’.It bothers me even more knowing that Val is based on girlfriend!Laura. Does really everyone and everything in-vers, even a big bad like Mev, rub Skul’s/Landy’s and Val’s/Laura’s ego? Big yikes.

Crespular Vies is surprisingly fun. At first I thought the two men going after the Obsidian Blade were hired by the Unnamed, but since that wasn’t the case, I think Crespular Vines hired them that so he could show up in time to save Omen and his friends. I think him opening up to Omen about being Skul’s former partner came too unprompted, too quickly and that he is trying to gain Omen’s trust so he can get close to Skul through him. I think another giveaway that that’s the case is bc one of the men Omen had to meet to get his brother back wore a Cleaver outfit and Vies gave that man probably the same reasoning Omen gave him.

That said Omen’s chapters were surprisingly enjoyable. By what I had heard of others I expected a sad sack that can’t fight worth a damn. 

I’m not found of the Temper/Kierre stuff, it came out of nowhere.

Val is overpowered AF, it seems that she can get on Darquesses level with more practise/learning how to keep the doors open. She certainly needs to be nerfed.

Also I skipped the Darquesse chapters bc I’m giving negative fucks about her and the plague doctor.

The last 10% of the book were too rushed and felt like half finished thoughts.

Also I was kinda really bothered by the citizen of the Leibniz dimension. They were cartoonishly racist and it was very pretty black and white for the most part AKA everybody good is in the Resistance and all other sorcerers are evil/corrupt. That is also shown by there being children in the Resistance camp while there was no mention of children in the mage cities. In reality, most people are fairly mellow and it’s just a small percentage that is either really good or really wicked. I would have liked to see more racism towards mortals in form of apathy or ‘the soft bigotry of low expectations’ like I’ve seen it from Serpine in DotL. You know, make it a little less black and white.

Also, I understand the mermaids, but the bats in Europe were random AF. Like, I would understand it if they were just in Romania/Transylvania as a nod to the Dracula-typ vampire legends originating from there. As a plot-device they weren’t really needed to keep the protagonists from flying bc the danger of getting spotted by necromancer by doing so should be enough of a threat to keep them on the ground. This might seem nit-picky of me, but the bats just seemed so bloody random to me like wtf????

And also bc I’m a slut for magical creatures, I would have really liked to see more of them than just daugar and giant bats. Some undead cut together and resurrected necromancer experiments would have been pretty cool tbh. Like whatever the hell this is.

Something like zombie bears would have also been acceptable, I mean, bears are fucking terrifying on their own, let alone when undead and decaying.

I’m kinda pissed at China that she wanted Skul to kill Nef, but it does seem in character. Of course I still don’t like it bc I headcanon as Nef, Eliza and China having been besties during the war (no matter what canon says, I’m keeping that headcanon). I’m surprised Skul didn’t let Wreath have Nef considering that. Then again, he thought Nef might still be useful. And he was right. I loved how Nef actually had an essential part in saving the world by throwing the bomb. So proud of my boi <3 But Skul refused to kill him even after that. Could it be that Skul is finally getting character growth and development? 👀

Aaaand, China’s continuing to be a tyrant. With Tanith’s sense of justices flaring up shown when he killed the city governor, Erato, and Nef being shown to go after people that betray him (Lorien) I think those two are being set up to go after China to kill her (and to probably kill Creed too). Imagine Eliza joining the team bc she want a piece of China too.

I feel sorry for Baron, but at least he got a few speaking lines this time around. Still, I really wanted Nef to save him. :C Like, he suffered so much before he died too considering he spend a year alone starving and thirsty with broken legs in the middle of nowhere wft, why is Baron getting fucked over like this? #BaronDeservedBetter2020 he is the only honorable person of all faceless followers and he’s the one that gets screwed over in every book he shows up in, why tho- 😭

Speaking of Nef, I absolutely loved him in this book, he was a delight and stealing the show whenever he was on the page, despite being used as  punching bag through pretty much the entire book. If people have always treated him that way I can see why he turned evil jfc that poor man. Despite that, he was still being such a clever, funny and relatable bae <3 He’s described as ‘cynical, and nasty but also kinda cheerful’ and as liking to ‘needle’ people (aka trolling and roasting) by Val and that essentially describes every shitposter on the internet ever. And I so loved the way he roasted Saracen lmao

And how he’s so clever, like the Lorien part was my favourite scene closely followed by how Nef essentially talked Remus Crux into getting himself killed, just 👌 smart snek boi, I love him <3 Also I hope he keeps poisoning everybody thoughts against Skul like how he had already been doing it to Tanith, he’s poison in human form and that’s just my jam.

That obedience bracelet was kinda fucked up tho.

Why does this thing even exist? Aren't electro shocks or any other form of pain enough instead of shutting his nervous system down/rendering him completely defenceless? I feel like some messed up mage 100% used it to keep himself (sex) slaves at some point in time :/ Landy might have gotten that idea from some fucked up hentai. Even the implications of the name "obedience bracelet".... I can’t be the only one that got creepy perv vibes from that thing, right?

Btw what the fuck happened to Harmony? You know, Leibniz Serpine’s girlfriend. She hasn’t been mentioned again. Did she die? She didn’t seem too found of him in DotL, was she plotting against him and he found out about it, killed her and fled the Resistance? Or did she die prior to him leaving and it was part of the reason he left bc she was the only thing that had tied him emotionally to the Resistance?? Or Landy just forgot  she existed. I would not be surprised.

Of course my biggest issue with this book was how he retconned Nef’s magic and how he took his trademark, his red hand, away, but more about that in a different post.

TL;DR: Nef was a delight even though he was done dirty. Mev’s scenes were a 50/50 split between good and bad. I actually liked the Crespulare and Omen chapters. The Unnamed was a disappointment. The last 10% of the book were to rushed and the final fights that were supposed to be the biggest were underwhelming. The rest is meh, didn’t really care tbh. Let’s be real here, I only bought this book bc Nef played a bigger role in it, anyways.

[facelessxchurch]

And what do you think about Landy describing Mev as fair-haired? I always thought he mentioned Mev with dark hair in KoTW, now I'm imagining Mev as a fusion between your drawings and a tall neighbour who also has fair hair lmao

Mev’s hair colour wasn’t described in KotW. It was only said that it was cut short.

And, oh yes, I absolutely HATE that Mev is described as having ‘fair hair’. He made him a fucking blonde. Ugh no, yellow hair and yellow skin doesn’t go along well, he’ll look like a fucking simpson. Either that or fair hair means his hair is lighter than his skin and the first thing that comes to mind is these people with their skin tanned orange and platinum blonde hair, nonono this is a fashion disaster. It also lowkey makes him look similar to Abyssinia and the Unnamed/Caisson, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I’ll keep drawing him with brown hair bc it just looks best in combination with his skin colour. I wanted Serafina to be blonde and Mev to be brown haired and canon is the opposite, I feel like Landy is lowkey trolling me. I mean, the fandom is small enough… 

And here is a brown-haired Mev drawing just out of spite, screw off, Landy.

I’m considering drawing Serafina as a blonde again, now that I’m already going the ‘fuck canon’ route with Mev.

[facelessxchurch]

Nasty Bois Minecraft Server- Mevolent tries to refuse to play but Serafina makes him. Discuss.

Ya asking the wrong person. I never played Minecraft once in my life and I'm not going too. So I don't know how it would go should the nasties attempt to play it.

I feel like, apart from Nefarian and twin!Vile, none of them would even be interested in playing video games at all and those two would play only very violent games. If Mevolent was to play anything at all it would probably be 100% just Soulsborne stuff.

Also imagine Serafina claiming games are beneath her yet she is secretly Mevolent’s nemesis in the Soulsborne games bc she has fun invading and trolling him. Mev’s win/lose ratio drops down to 50/50 when he’s up against his waifu wich makes her a fun and challenging opponent Mev is determined to crush.

_____________

Talking about SP and gaming, I’m pretty sure “Dark” by RealmForge is exactly how an SP would have looked would it have been produced around 2012.

I mean, look at this: kinda painterly characters and the textures for the backgrounds are mostly photos with a filter (the ‘median’ filter probably tbh) slapped on top of it. That totally reminds me of the old SP covers.

The pic above is also how I’d imagine the Repository of the original Irish Sanctuary looked like. More pics below the cut of other locations that would work for SP too.