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#sex jokes. cant go without em
boiledegghole · 1 month
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ive created a msatserpiece i think im going to cry.
inspired by a misremembering of these two posts (i remembered it being like. a fucking elf jacking off to a babbling brook. i literally cannot resist a good sex joke i Cant)
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ambi-kiko · 6 months
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tma music tma music tma music
please reblog with your own! i need it (:
also im more than willing to elaborate on any of em, just ask! (i have much to yell about)
for bitchard, we have:
kiss me, son of god (they might be giants)
i'm gonna win (rob cantor)
blood & money (the orion experience, orion, linda XO)
ruler of everything (tally hall)
BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA (will wood)
community gardens (the scary jokes, louie zong)
the main character (will wood)
your body, my temple (will wood)
laplace's angel (hurt people? hurt people!) (will wood)
saint bernard (lincoln)
welcome to the internet (bo burnham)
all eyes on me (or3o)
my ordinary life (the living tombstone)
cabinet man (lemon demon)
peter x elias (for my frenchies out there <33)
marine marchande (les cowboys fringants)
ok dont judge me too much i had to have smth for them ((: plus its not that unrelated
next! martin
a better son/daughter (rilo kiley)
12 feet deep (the front bottoms)
things to do (alex g)
be nice to me (the front bottoms)
step on me (the cardigans)
heart for brains (roar)
mama (my chemical romance)
summer child (conan gray)
hello my old heart (the oh hellos)
i cant handle change (roar)
against the kitchen floor (will wood)
least favorite only child (leanna firestone)
sharpener (cavetown)
empty bed (cavetown)
life's a beach (bears in trees)
jmart ((:
no children (the mountain goats)
the moon will sing (the crane wives)
euthanasia (will wood)
as the world caves in (matt maltese)
the truth (the front bottoms)
balade à toronto (jean leloup)
doctor (jack stauber)
apocalypse (cigarettes after sex)
talk to you (ricky Montgomery)
cabo (ricky montgomery)
meteor shower (cavetown)
juliet (cavetown)
feel better (penelope scott)
would you be so kind (dodie)
two birds (regina spektor)
line without a hook (ricky Montgomery)
and jon, ofc <3 i rly dont have enough for him ):
body terror song (AJJ)
downhill (Lincoln)
montreal (penelope scott)
ramblings of a lunatic (bears in trees)
its called: freefall (rainbow kitten surprise)
chin music for the unsuspecting hero (foster the people)
love, me normally (will wood)
dinner is not over (jack stauber's micropop)
also melanie! dont have that many but she deserves the mention (:
saturn suv (fredo disco)
brave as a noun (AJJ)
tongues & teeth (the crane wives)
wreaking ball (mother mother)
we fell in love in october (girl in red)
and just random songs with tma vibes (other characters, ships, dread powers, etc)
underground (cody fry)
hand me my shovel, i'm going in! (will wood)
terry's taxidermy (teddy hyde)
cotard's solution (will wood and the tapeworms)
amnesia was her name (lemon demon)
memento mori: the most important thing in life is death (will wood)
skeleton appreciation day in vestal, n.y. (will wood)
icicles (the scary jokes)
puppet boy (devo)
oh ana (mother mother)
i dont smoke (mitski)
choke (I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)
thermodynamic lawyer esq, G.F.D (will wood and the tapeworms)
sorry haha i fell asleep (egg)
despair (leo)
stuff is way (they might be giants)
baby teeth (baby bugs)
king park (la dispute)
i/me/myself (will wood)
dr. sunshine is dead (will wood and the tapeworms)
amygdala's rag doll (ghost and pals)
little pistol (mother mother)
burning pile (mother mother)
this is home (cavetown)
body (mother mother)
turn the lights off (tally hall)
like real people do (hozier)
im going insane
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ushiwakaout · 3 years
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can i plsplspls have the things you believe hq boys would say for atsumu 👉👈
yes yes! i love me some atsumu 🥺
Things I believe Atsumu Miya (Timeskip MSBY pro volleyball player) would say if you lived with him (from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep) painter! y/n
“Baby, Baby- come on wake up. I got early practice, you know i don’t know how to cook” (5:00 am)
“Baby come on, I’ll make you breakfast later.”
“No? Oh you’re up.”
“What do you mean you don’t like my breakfast, i thought ya loved my cooking.”
“we’ve been together how long? and ya lied to me?!”
“I’ve been telling eveyone that my cooking is great! This is your fault.”
“No shoo, go make me my breakfast.”
“No you don’t get morning kisses.”
“Will ya stop ya whining if i kiss ya?”
“Alright shut up now and get to cookin”
*Will slap your ass, way too hard for 5:30 in the morning*
“I got early practice tonight, thanks for making me food.”
*will wrap his arms around you as you cook*
“Smells good.”
“No the food, ya smell stinky.”
“I’m kidding, i’m kidding. You smell like you.”
“What’cha mean? ya smell like, soap and a clean bed”
“Yes baby, it’s a good thing.”
“Now give me my food and go back to sleep.”
“I’ll clean up.”
*will let you know when he goes to practice and let’s you sleep again*
“Pst.... baby, wakey wakey. It’s morning.” (10:00 am)
“I got breakfast.... don’t worry ya little head, i got it from the bakery.”
“How’d ya sleep. Good? That’s good baby.”
“You got paintings you gotta finish, get to work.”
“Come on you big baby, get up.”
*Will carry you to the bathroom and will strip you bc he needs to shower too*
“Stop squirmin’ - i’m washing you’re head and i’ll get soap in ya eyes.”
“My turn.”
“Massage my scalp harder, harder- okay chill, that’s good.”
“Now hurry up and dry up, you got work to do.”
* WILL SLAP YOUR BARE ASS and will apologize later bc he left a mark*
“I’ll leave you to it then, i’m gonna be in the room, if you need me.” (11:00 am)
*Will walk in and walk out of your studio just to check up on you*
“Need anything? No? Okay.”
“Just checking in, i got you some water.”
“Hey baby, you hungry yet? Ya want lunch?!”
*Will hold you while you paint*
“What do you want for lunch?”
“You want me to order it or pick up? or do you wanna come with me?”
*will start kissing your neck and get you to face him so he can start making out with you*
*it’s very messy, will put you on a table with FRESH PAINT and get it all over you*
sex in the art studio
red paint hand prints on your ass, hips, neck.
“You should keep working on yer painting, i’ll go get the food.” (12:40 pm)
*will tap your hips/thighs/ass before walking out as if NOTHING HAPPENED*
*meanwhile you’re catching you’re fucking breath bc wow... the stamina that man has*
“I’m back... Feel alright?” (2:00 pm)
“I got you some onigiri.”
“Again? what you mean again? It’s free!”
“Shut it, you love Osamus cookin.”
“What do you love more? Me or Osamu?”
“Did you just say Osamu- REALLY?! Really? after we just made love for hours? You tell me this now?”
“Give me back that Onigiri.”
“Come back here!”
“Did ya really need to lock yourself in the art studio? Let me in” (2:30 pm)
“What art piece are you working on?”
“Ah.... mhm, mhm...”
“No i don’t remember what you just said.”
“Keep on working, i’ll check up on you later.”
“Nevermind, i’m lonely- I’m gonna keep ya company.”
“Give me some paint, i wanna paint.”
“Look! I made a fox.”
“Oh hold on, Bokuto is calling.”
“Do you mind if the guys come over?”
“Yes even Sakusa.”
“You never clean, why you gotta clean for him?” (3:30 pm)
*very jealous of the fact that you and sakusa get along very well*
“Sakusa hands off my partner” (4:30 pm)
“Bokuto you too!”
“Hinata, I’m eyeing ya too.”
“Get over here, and sit next to me.”
“Hold my hand.”
“Because i said so.”
“Shut it, Sakusa!”
“No, no, i’m not drunk.” (6:00 pm)
“What’d you mean they should sleep over.”
“But baby~ Night time is our time.”
“OW! Don’t hit me.”
“Y’all are sleeping in the spare.”
“Stop babying Sakusa he’s a grown man!”
“I said hands off my partner Hinata!”
“Baby~ stop babying my teammates and come here!” (7:30 pm)
“What do you mean i smell.”
“No come here, give me a kiss.”
“No, no, no don’t check up with them, come here.”
“Just come cuddle with me.”
“Hey, am i good enough for ya?”
“You sure? Do i give ya enough love?”
“Don’t shit with me alright, you sure i’m good enough?”
“Come here, give me a kiss.”
“You’re more than good enough for me.”
“Please don’t leave me for Osamu, i know it’s a joke just... I cant imagine my life without ya, ya know?”
“Stupid Osamu, i’m proud of him too. But don’t praise him either!” (9:00 pm)
“Do you wanna get some dessert?”
“So what if it’s late, i’m hungry.”
“Fuck em, i just wanna go with you.”
“Hold my hand.”
“You cold? Here just wear my hoodie. I think i’m still a little tipsy.”
“I swear i’ll fight a kid if he doesn’t hurry up.”
“Hold me back baby, i will fight this kid! he just mouthed piss hair to me!”
“Oh shit it’s the pap, come on hurry up, let’s go.”
“No, no- You got the wrong twin, i’m osamu. Yeah sorry about that.”
“I’m glad i brought a cap”
“Give me some of your dessert.”
“Here have some of mine, say Ah.”
“Don’t be stupid, and hold my hand, we’re crossing the road.”
*Will give you a piggy back ride home*
*you will fall asleep on him*
*wwe match when you guys get home and throws you on the bed to wake you up bc he’s such an asshole*
“It’s your fault you fell asleep on me.”
“Arms up, i’ll put on your pjs.”
“No pjs? Alright, we sleep in the nude tonight.”
*you sleep on his chest*
“God i’m so lucky to have you, you know?”
Extras:
*will fuck you awake and has a hand over your mouth bc he remembers half way that half his team is in the other room*
“Y’all are lucky, y/n has such a talent for cooking”
“Sakusa, you don’t get breakfast.”
“You hear nothing, hinata!”
*pinches your ass in public*
“OSAMU STOP TALKING TO MY S/O”
“Osamu give y/n some onigiri, she’s picking up my lunch.”
“MY BABY IS HERE” *runs to you mid practice*
“No bokuto you don’t get to hug her.”
“Back off Sakusa!”
*will bark*
“Stop telling people i use lemon shampoo bc i have blonde hair.”
“Wait i thought i had a manicure appointment today- did i miss it?”
“Shave down my nails will ya? I always mess up.”
“Get your black nail polish away from me, i want the clear one.”
*will bite you to get your attention*
*will show off his manicure to kageyama if he ever bumps into him*
A/N: Thank you guys for 300 followers 🥺🥳
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mde1011 · 3 years
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when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them
how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”
⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”
⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”
⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”
⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”
⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”
⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”
⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”
⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”
⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”
⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”
- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”
⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”
⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”
⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”
⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”
⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”
⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”
⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um
<tommyinnit> boobed
<sapnap> kill you
<tommyinnit> boobs
<sapnap> if this happens
<tommyinnit> think about boobs man
<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy
<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED
⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”
⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”
⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”
⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”
⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”
⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”
⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”
⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”
⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”
⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”
⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”
⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”
⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”
⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”
⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism
⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”
⁃ “please stop taking the cock”
⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”
⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”
⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”
⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”
⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”
⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”
⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”
⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”
⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”
⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”
⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”
⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”
⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”
⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”
⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”
⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”
⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”
⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”
⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”
⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”
⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”
⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”
⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”
⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”
⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”
⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”
⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”
⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”
⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”
⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”
⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”
⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”
⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”
⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”
⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”
⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”
⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”
⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”
⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”
⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“
⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”
⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”
⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”
⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”
⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”
⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”
⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”
⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”
⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”
⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”
⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”
⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”
⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”
⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”
⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”
⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”
⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”
⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”
⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”
⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”
⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”
⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”
⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”
⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”
⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”
⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”
⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”
⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”
⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”
⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”
⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”
⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“
⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”
⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“
⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”
⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”
⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”
⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“
⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”
⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”
⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”
⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”
⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”
⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”
⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“
⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”
⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“
⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”
⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”
⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“
⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”
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solasan · 4 years
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otp tag.
tagged by @masonsfreckles​​ and @impossible-rat-babies​​ and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims​​ @arlathen​​ @lvllns​​ @trvelyans​​ @lavellane​​ @chuckhansen​​ @rosebarsoap​​​ @cheydinhaal​​ @darksprawn​​ @deepspeech​​ @yennefre​​ and anyone else who wants to do it tbh
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DISAGREEMENTS.
who is more likely to raise their voice?
i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people
who threatens to leave but never actually does?
i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point
who actually keeps their word and leaves?
neither lmao
who trashes the house?
in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident
do either of them get physical?
uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never
how often do they argue/disagree?
in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong
who is the first to apologize?
adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument
SEX.
who is on top? who is on bottom?
i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so
any kinks?
adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it
june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her
who has the strangest desires?
june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so
who’s dominant in bed?
adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things
is head ever in the equation?
uhhh, yeah ??? all the time
if so, who is better at performing it?
look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING
ever had sex in public?
the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it
who moans the most?
both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so
who leaves the most marks?
june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way
who is the more experienced of the two?
adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together
do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?
im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck
how long do they usually last?
in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do
rough or soft?
soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)
is protection used?
it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??
does it ever get boring?
nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk
where is the strangest place they’d have sex?
idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT
FAMILY.
do they plan on having children / do they have children?
yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard
if so, how many children do they want/have?
their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((
AFFECTION.
who likes to cuddle?
both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time
who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?
june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here
who struggles to keep their hands to themself?
shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho
how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?
uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive
what is their favourite non-sexual activity?
adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first 
where is their favourite place to cuddle?
in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm
SLEEPING.
who snores?
ahskhkdja june !!!
if both do, who snores the loudest?
adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly
do they share a bed or sleep separately?
they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her
if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?
cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat
what do they wear to bed?
june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))
are either of them insomniacs?
june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.
adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously
can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?
later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works
do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?
wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat
who wakes up with bed hair?
both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????
who wakes up first?
eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way
who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?
neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook
what is their favourite sleeping position?
either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!
do they set an alarm each night?
they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will
who has nightmares?
both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think
can a television be found in their bedroom?
nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop
who has ridiculous dreams?
probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin
who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?
june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before
who makes the bed?
adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!
what time is bed time?
adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy
any routines/rituals before bed?
eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway
who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?
june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest
WORK.
who is the busiest?
hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???
who rakes in the highest income?
eh they’re probs around the same ???
are any of them unemployed?
nope
who takes the most sick days?
june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover
what are their jobs?
he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective
who sucks up to their boss?
haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss
who is more likely to turn up late to work?
june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days
who stresses the most?
uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????
do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?
yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???
are they financially stable?
yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries
HOME.
who does the washing?
i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk
who takes out the trash?
adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night
who does the ironing?
again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life
who does the cooking?
i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june
who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?
yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u
who is messier?
yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it
who leaves the toilet roll empty?
neither
who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?
yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely
who forgets to flush the toilet?
ew gross people do that ?? neither
who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?
june shdjjsjdk
who answers the telephone?
uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells
who mows the lawn?
adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders
who does the vacuuming?
both !!! they take turns
who does the groceries?
june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho
who takes the longest to shower?
uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???
who spends the most time in the bathroom?
like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often
MISCELLANEOUS.
is money a problem?
nahhh the agency pays them well
how many cars do they own?
originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam
what’s their song?
either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs
do they live in the city or in the country?
does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk
do they own their home or do they rent?
june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town
do they enjoy their surroundings?
eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go
what do they do when they’re away from each other?
Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited
where did they first meet?
at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great
who spends the most money when out shopping?
uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???
ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????
who’s more likely to flash their assets?
ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this
any mental issues?
yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts
i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk
who finds it amusing when the other trips over?
adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall
when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly
who’s terrified of bugs?
yep june 100%
who kills the spiders around the house?
shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”
do they have any fears for their future?
yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.
that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic
their favourite place?
the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly
who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?
adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one
who pays the bills?
they split them
who’s the tallest?
sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it
who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?
both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk
who wanders around in their underwear?
both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs
who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?
june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face
what do they tease each other about?
everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u. 
june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????
adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm
who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?
i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh
who crushed first?
adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why
any alcohol or substance related problems?
uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days
who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?
june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in
who swears the most?
yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it
15 notes · View notes
nightunite · 4 years
Note
I'm the soft sibling but... A-all of them??
I’ve been waiting, my sibster...
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
Probably @safetyfirstbiatch
 2. Are you outgoing or shy? 
Shy in the beginning, outgoing afterwards!
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? 
@safetyfirstbiatch @tricksandmagix
4. Are you easy to get along with? 
Sometimes
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 
Probably not
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 
Loyal, funny, can tease me like I tease them, won’t mock my anxiety, etc.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? 
Nope
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 
Gonna say Bucky Barnes
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 
Nah
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? 
@binkysteebnpewter @breadgenie892 @fuzzy-cloud-head-queen @andyl394
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 
“I might post this on tumblr”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 
Blink-182: Black rain
Halsey&Marina Mashup: Gasoline and Savages
Saweetie: My type
Dermot Kennedy: Power Over You
chillpill: Fuck the Club
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? 
Nope
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? 
Yep
15. What good thing happened this summer? 
SHAVED ICE AND THE FAM
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 
Nah
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? 
Yes
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? 
Nah
19. Do you like bubble baths? 
Yes
20. Do you like your neighbors? 
Nah
21. What are you bad habits? 
Impulsive, loud, awkward, dont like vacuuming
22. Where would you like to travel? 
Yes
23. Do you have trust issues? 
Yes
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? 
Nap time
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? 
Thighs
26. What do you do when you wake up? 
Play Animal Crossing
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 
No but I wish it was healthy
28. Who are you most comfortable around? 
@safetyfirstbiatch
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? 
Yup
30. Do you ever want to get married? 
Sure
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? 
It’s always up so yeah
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
None?
 33. Spell your name with your chin. 
(Cant attempt this tbh I have a big ol hormone zit about ready to pop)
34. Do you play sports? What sports? 
Nope
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 
Without TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 
Of course!
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
Some stupid joke or story
 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 
I’ve answered this in previous asks but see #6
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? 
Lush, Barnes&Noble, Candy Stores
40. What do you want to do after high school? 
I’m already a college graduate, but lab work
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 
No
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 
I’m either busy, sleeping, or anxious
43. Do you smile at strangers? 
Sometimes
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Outer space
 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 
Animal Crossing and food
46. What are you paranoid about?
Everything tbh anxiety sucks 
47. Have you ever been high? 
No
48. Have you ever been drunk? 
No
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 
No but I’ve been hella simping
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? 
Grey and yellow, my hufflepuff hoodie
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
Nah
 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 
Have healthier skin aka no genetic issues
53. Favourite makeup brand?
Dont wear any
 54. Favourite store? 
Barnes&Noble
55. Favourite blog? 
@bunjywunjy
56. Favourite colour? 
Periwinkle
57. Favourite food? 
I’m a slut for pretzel bites right now
58. Last thing you ate? 
Cheese ravioli
59. First thing you ate this morning?
Sour cream&onion chips
 60. Ever won a competition? For what? 
Won a ribbon for a literary contest
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? 
Nah
62. Been arrested? For what? 
Nah
63. Ever been in love? 
Don’t know tbh
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 
Already answered this on previous asks, but it was after a movie in his car
65. Are you hungry right now? 
Nah
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 
Nah, they’re equal
67. Facebook or Twitter? 
Twitter
68. Twitter or Tumblr? 
Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now? 
Nah
70. Names of your bestfriends? 
@safetyfirstbiatch @tricksandmagix
71. Craving something? What? 
Shaved ice, blue raspberry and lime flavor
72. What colour are your towels? 
Salmon pink and mold green, got em real ugly
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 
2, one under my head and one against my side
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? 
Yup a Totodile
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 
Like 80+
75. Favourite animal? 
Frogs
76. What colour is your underwear? 
Black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? 
Chocolate
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 
Chocolate
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? 
Black
80. What colour pants? 
Black
81. Favourite tv show? 
Masterchef
82. Favourite movie? 
James and the Giant Peach
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 
Mean Girls
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 
Mean Girls
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? 
Janis
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? 
Dory
87. First person you talked to today? 
The fam
88. Last person you talked to today? 
The fam
89. Name a person you hate? 
Trump
90. Name a person you love? 
@safetyfirstbiatch
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 
Anti-vaxxers
92. In a fight with someone? 
Nah
93. How many sweatpants do you have? 
2 pairs
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 
like 6
95. Last movie you watched? 
Sky High (I regret nothing)
96. Favourite actress? 
Zendaya
97. Favourite actor? 
Sebastian Stan
98. Do you tan a lot? 
Nope
99. Have any pets? 
A cat and a corgi
100. How are you feeling? 
Pretty alright
101. Do you type fast? 
Yup!
102. Do you regret anything from your past? 
A couple things, time I wish I had listened better
103. Can you spell well? 
Decently
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 
Not really
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 
Nope!
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 
Probably but I was never told
107. Have you ever been on a horse? 
Nope
108. What should you be doing? 
Sleeping
109. Is something irritating you right now? 
My back
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 
Yup!
111. Do you have trust issues?
Of course
 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 
@safetyfirstbiatch while laughing I’m pretty sure
113. What was your childhood nickname? 
‘Hey you’
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 
Yes, been to several other states and the Bahamas
115. Do you play the Wii? 
I used, played so much Harvest Moon Animal Parade
116. Are you listening to music right now? 
Yup, mothra’s theme
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 
Nope
118. Do you like Chinese food? 
Nope
119. Favourite book? 
The Serpent King is one of my favorites
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
Nah
 121. Are you mean? 
Sometimes
122. Is cheating ever okay? 
In extreme extenuating circumstances like ‘You refuse to let me out of this marriage despite knowing we don’t even like each other’
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 
Somewhat yeah
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 
Yeah
125. Do you believe in true love?
Yeah
 126. Are you currently bored? 
Nah
127. What makes you happy? 
Little things; rain, smell of a new book, soft sheets.
128. Would you change your name? 
Nah
129. What your zodiac sign? 
Leo
130. Do you like subway? 
Nah
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 
Either let em down easy or see if it works
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 
The fam
133. Favourite lyrics right now? 
Dont have any honestly
134. Can you count to one million? 
Sure but it takes a while
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
‘Can’t go, Mom needs me to watch the dog’ -Dog is in fact being taken to daycare in plain view of person
 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 
Open a crack
137. How tall are you?
5′6
 138. Curly or Straight hair? 
Wavy
139. Brunette or Blonde? 
Brunette
140. Summer or Winter? 
Fuck both, Fall
141. Night or Day? 
Night
142. Favourite month? 
July
143. Are you a vegetarian?
Nope
 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
Milk
 145. Tea or Coffee? 
Neither, soda
146. Was today a good day?
Yeah it was pretty great
147. Mars or Snickers?
Snickers even though I have a peanut sensitivity
 148. What’s your favourite quote?
Don’t have one, sorry
 149. Do you believe in ghosts? 
Yup! 
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 
“This is madness” - Sorcery of Thorns
3 notes · View notes
lysieblu · 4 years
Text
When the Camellia Blooms
So I decided to do commentary this time. I usually have a lot to say when wacthing dramas but forget it all quickly.
Mild Spoilers Ahead
I’ve renamed the characters because auto-correct sucks if your first language isn’t Korean.
Oh Dong-Baek - Dongbaek
Hwang Yong-sik - Smiley
Choi Hyang-mi / Choi Go-eun - Clepto Waitress
No Gyu-tae - Tae or Gyu-tae
Hong Ja-young  - Baseball, baseball dude
Jo Jung-sook, Dongbaek’s mom - Mama bear
Deok-soon, Yong-sik’s mom - Ma dukes
Why is it that society can take anything and make it a reason to put others down. Humans ain't shit. Episode 6 “Girls like me are like the Emperor's New Clothes... Good guys cants see me.” Best quote of the whole drama so far. Clepto waitress, I love her. She was weird and I wasn't sure if she was playing old dude, Tae. But she was and kinda genius at it. Men help create the traps they get caught in. Is Dongbaek really going to die in the end because it really sucks as this sad girl narrative goes. Being an orphan and or single mom does not doom you. The society in which she lived did. She was a fighter and would always win. The fact that she made it so far in life despite believing the bs others were telling her and the shit she was telling herself is worthy of praise. Episode 7 Smart girl to keep a tab of bad behavior. I just wish she had a bit more confidence, petty, and bad bitch in her delivery. This self deprecating behavior is getting old now. But this kind of behavior can't be unlearned in a night. It's so frustrating. This is why I can't be a therapist. Get a grip bitch. (kidding I know how healing works) all you can really do is pour in the positive and hope it flushes out the negative. That's why smiley is good for her but God he's annoying. He may be good and all but he had def benefited from her lack of boundaries. The dead girl at the end is the Clepto waitress. She stole the bracelet from Dongbaek and thus why the dead body is wearing it. Go Gye-tae has something to do with the murders. He is too punk to do them himself. But he knows and is close to the murderer. The timing of the alarm at the aesticians office. Tae saved her  I think it's the handy man. Episode 8 Chief is looking really suspect. Clepto waitress has crossed the line to disrespectful. Is she really risking hurting Dongbaek to get baseball dude? I think extortion always been her MO. Mom was referring to her when she said watch who you trust. I don't think she's the killer but bitch is not innocent. Episode 9 I hate bitches. It's true that for some people who never grew the fuck up... Hate is their love language. Cliques need a common enemy to thrive and they are weak as fuck. It doesn’t help that Dongbaek never puts them in their place. Me and Dongbaek are the same age and had our kid about the same time. I don't think the killer is female. Unless that bitch is Ronda Rousey I would like to believe I can fight off a bitch with chicken wire. Chief is looking suspect as hell. Why is he always throwing Smiley off the track or avoiding the case. He knows something. I am by no means taking baseball guys side, however I do feel that both parents should be given the opportunity to be parents to their kid. It's unfair to not tell him about his child when he clearly wants to be a father. The scar can go both ways. You son can resent you for keeping this from his father. Pil clearly knows what's up. Dongbaek is growing up. In a way, this is a death flag. But I still don't believe it's her. Episode 10 There isn't a cloud in the sky. They are walking around without coats. And you expect me to believe that it's cold enough for snow. I still feel like Joker isn't a female but her mom is looking hella suspect. What if the connection between all the victims is Dongbaek. Maybe they somehow did her wrong and crazy momma bear was protecting her. But I really can't see her climbing out of a window. Plus the fire alarm.   Trust no one. A lot of people have said the "don't be a joke" line. I called it. That ending was more of a death red flag. So the dead lady is Clepto waitress. She probably died because she obviously owes debts. Dude in hair salon was creepy. But that is separate from joker. I know this goofy mug. I've seen it somewhere (Googling it) ah.. yes... Mr Smiley was in Midnight Runners, playing a cop there too if I remember correctly. Episode 11 A bunch of elementary school kids fighting over baseball. Me yelling at my TV: GET EM!!! Let me tell y'all. I would have been on that field lighting shit up, whipping everyone's ass. Little boy go get yo momma so she can get your ass beating. 😡 Chief is acting wonky. He knows something. What's with the mom? She seems so protective... Now? What about her dad? What if Dongbaek's parents are some crazy con artists who are protecting their daughter by killing off people who conned her? They are basically trying to tell her to "get a grip bitch!" Or "don't be a joke." And did you see her grab the belt and wrap around her fist? She knows what the fuck she's doing. (I want her on my team in a fight) Why is Dongbaek not questioning her lucidity? 🤔 Clepto waitress is the childhood friend.?!. 🤨 IT WAS THE FUCKING HANDYMAN!!! I CALLED IT!!! 🥳🙌🏾👏🏾 Yass bitches. I'm fucking brilliant. Hold on... let's not get ahead of ourselves. Episode 12 This shit just became an episode of 24 “Why try to live so hard?” Because if I live up to the narrative people create for me based on some societal BS explanation, they win. They can say, "see I told you all _______ are _______." Fuck your prejudices and stereotypes. The last thing I want to do is prove some asshole right. So many people want her dead they are trying to confuse me. Who the fuck is the joker?? Handy man's dad? Is he even alive? And this lack of boundaries is killing me. Dongbaek needs to put both those men in their place. Baseball needs to know he has no legal rights, period, if his name is not on the birth certificate. It would be the kids decision as to what his relationship with his dad is. She also needs to tell Smiley to get a fucking grip and that dealing with Baseball is part of being with her. These situations can coexist and it's frustrating to think otherwise. Mom dukes needs to chill. Her son has to make his own decisions and fuck-ups and she cannot fault Dongbaek for that. Life is hard, regardless. If it ain't this, it would be something else. Who lives an easy life?? Challenges build character. And I get it some things you can avoid. But they are grown in their 30s, who at this point does not come with baggage? And fuck you for trying to make me cry. I'm at work Episode 13 Is momma bear on drugs? Her behavior isn't totally out of the ordinary but maybe she goes away to trip and comes back. Lawd we all gon die together😮 They are teasing this story line so hard.  IDK who the joker is. I'ma stick to the handy man but everyone in this story is guilty of something and really it's like matching the crime to the person or the person to the crime. Who killed Clepto? Was it her enemies or the joker? What momma bear is up to? Who's the joker? Is the joker and cleptos killer the same person? What's handy mans deal? Out of all of clepto's enemies, I believe the only ones capable of killing her are Mr. Pimp, Jessica because she's desperate, or Momma bear because she's protecting Dongbaek. In which case, her death is separate from the Joker's killings. Episode 14 You think Smiley's mom may be jealous because no one took an interest in her with three kids? Hold... The ... Fucking.... Phone... It's handy man's dad??? Behind  every weak man is a mother (parental figure) who never held him accountable. I'm tired of grown people not acting like they are grown, kiss and have sex already... Damn. Oh so now they were meant to be? And did Momma bear really come for a kidney? Episode 15 There is a such thing as too much motherly love. This lady is fucking delusional. Her son has always been the type to run towards trouble. Does she really think his life would be easier without Dongbaek? Really? Go-tae is cleared. He was guilty but his crime is gambling. Jessica hit clepto with her car but someone delivered the final blow. Was it Momma bear? Or joker? I think Chief is cleared too. He was just operating out of fear. So hold up. Momma bear has been watching over Dongbaek her whole life. If Momma bear is lurking in the shadows of course she would run into someone else lurking in the shadows. Bitch. Episode 16 Laugh cry? Jesus Christ Dongbaek is stupid. A abandoned mall. Really? She's like a white chick in a horror movie. No don't go in there. Run bitch. 😔 Always take the fucking stairs. I can't. If she falls, I quit. Episode 17 They look like the fucking Power Rangers and I AM LIVING for this movement. Ordering me a track suit on payday. He gets it. He fucking gets it. "I know I made you be a mother when you wanted to just be a woman" 🥳 "We'll not only feed him, we'll wipe his ass if we have to" My bitch. 😂😂😂 If this shit ends with Pil going with his father, I quit. People and situations can peacefully coexist. What's with this all or nothing attitude? And this discarding of a previous family or kids. I see it a lot in these dramas and it's disturbing. Episode 18 Pil's in for a rude awakening but it's a lesson that his mom can't protect him from. His dad may have nice things, but he ain't shit. He'll be back. Damn even your kid thinks your weak. Or is he being mean? He did it for his mom. Funny.. he's assuming what she wants. Did she ever say that she couldn't marry Smiley because of him? Did Smiley say it? That Ma Dukes said it and it's unfortunate. He's too young to realize which opinions matter  Society sucks for making a kid feel this way. Fuck that shit. It just hit me. One of the underlying themes of this drama is parenthood,  more so motherhood. Dongbaek lacked boundaries, even with her son. Smiley's mom is delusional about her son and life in general. She relied on him too much, babied him too much. I don't think any woman would not have been good enough in the long run. The guilt of his father dying, she blames herself, a burden she should have never had to bare, and never fully healed. She projecting that onto Dongbaek. Dongbaek's mom is seeking redemption. She did what she thought was best for her kid. Jessica's mom put up with an asshole for the sake of everyone else and probably to maintain her life. She's learning that she doesn't want that for Jessica. That her own insecuries have transferred to her. Taeks mom is selfish as fuck and babied her son, never holding him accountable. Mother's think they know what's right for their kid, but a nice life from the outside doesn't guarantee a nice life from the inside. That nice lawyer could have treated your daughter like a slave. But it all looks nice to the neighbors. People have got to let "perceptions" go. Most of the time people with the "worst" past have the best character. The issue with it all is.. most mother's define themselves by their kids or husbands. Korea does it very literally. Then, when it all goes away; your kid grows up, your husband may die or leave, what's left of you? Who are you? Women are incouraged to be everything for everyone else but nothing for themselves. When we do, we are made to feel guilty or less than for it. Dongbaek needs to be away from him for while. How this is happening sucks but both of them have lessons to learn. If they don't live happily ever after I have wasted my 20 hours of my life. This is utter bullshit. I hope they're fucking with me. Episode 19 This would have played out differently if she had a daughter. This is literally why fuck boys are running amuck these days. Moms who use their sons (sometimes daughters) as substitutes for men and adult relationships. Boundaries. To love your dad so much even though he is a killer is unhealthy. Sik needs psyhological help. It sends the wrong message that you need to or have to take you parents (family members) bs just because they are parents (or family.) In hindsight, a red flag. I don't want Dongbaek to be a match. I don't want her to give her kidney. I don't like the idea of someone younger giving someone older an organ. Once you've passed 50 you have lived your life. The donor should be the same age or older and preferably on their death beds. Especially in Dongbaek's case. What if something goes wrong and Pil looses his mother and grandmother? You going to let that man-child raise him? I would never be okay with taking any organ from my kid. Episode 20 So it was the handy man? I was right bitches. And his dad is covering for him. Wow let it be known that Episode 7 I called it! He was framing his dad and playing everybody. Why didn't he kill Ma tho? Loving people and being kind-hearted is so fucking easy. Why do humans make it so hard?? I know these dramas are fiction but someone somewhere has lived a similar life. Where the fuck would I be if I didn't have an awesome mom and a loving family? Ongson feels like Stars Hollow. Them pants are rather high-waisted. That ended well. It had important lessons that I hoped someone learned from. Good story. Why I suspected the handy man? It's usually the character that can easily go unnoticed. He has access to the whole town, knew everyone and smart enough to cover his tracks. Everyone else was too obvious but the story did a great job of making me doubt my initial suspicion. Bravo. Low key miss clepto waitress. When she wasn't being a extortionist, she was a fun character.
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I was asked to answer all 99 gayish asks, and I never get asked to do these so I'm gonna do em all. Here you go :)
1. How tall are you? 5'10
2. What is your body type? Athletic/muscular
3. What is your favorite thing about your body? Legs/butt
4. is your current hair color your natural hair color? No but close
5. are you more outgoing or more shy? Shy
6. are you more femme or butch? Femme
7. Are you tol or smol? Tol
8. wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt but lately a beer dad
9. Weird habits? Sometimes i talk to myself
10. favorite meme? Anything spongebob
11. do you sing in the shower? Sometimes
12. Ever use a bow and arrow? Yes
13. are/were you a theatre kid? No
14. Have you ever seen a Broadway musical? No
15. do you think musicals are cheesy? A lil
17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? Not my fave but for some reason the only one I can think of is "pixelated bukake"
16. Have you ever been part of a protest or March? Not yet
18. Last movie you watched? Solo: a star wars story
19. behind the camera or in front of it? Behind
20. Favorite TV show? Sense8/parks and rec
21. meaning behind your url? Uhm basically I was being emo and depressed and came up with it
22. Reason you joined tumblr? My sister told me to get it
23. Closest tumblr friend? Probably cheerswitches
24. what’s something most people love that you hate? Men's sports 🤷🏼‍♀️
25. Have you ever taken narcotics? Yes
26. Have you had sex? No
27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes 😂
28. What's the worst/funniest lie you've ever told? That I'm straight
29. describe your passion without mentioning it. Run, kick, score, win, celebrate
30. Describe your best friend. Independent, goofy, cant make a joke, passionate, beautiful ambitious, intelligent
31. give us one thing about you that no one knows. Idk my twin knows everything about me
32. How do you feel right now? Sleepy but good :)
33. What's your biggest fear? Turning into my mother or not living a happy life
34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? What's up by non 4 blondes
35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Taking time off school to focus on my mental health
36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? Uhm that's my life
37. something you fantasize about. Being in a happy, healthy relationship
38. Last time you cried and why. I think I was drunk and lonely
39. what was the last thing that made you laugh? My friend making a joke ab bring gay
40. do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yeah :/
41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My twin
42. the last time you felt broken? Idk it's been a while
43. are you starting to realize anything? That I'm gonna be happy and that things will workout how they're supposed to
44. are you more dominant or more submissive? Probably submissive personality wise.Sexually, well, you'll have to find out for yourself ;)
45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) if you respect me
46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? Same age
47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. Myself
48. do you have any kinks? 🙈🙈🙈
49. first thing you notice in a person? Their smile, sense of humor, if they're kind
50. how can someone win your heart? Sing to me
51. been rejected by a crush? Oof yea
52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? 🙃🙃🙃
53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? No lol
54. is trust a big issue for you? Yes
55. did you hang out with the person you like recently? I dont like anyone atm thank god
56. is confidence cute? Yessssss
57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I'd probably pretend it didnt bother me but go home and cry about it later lol
58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Hell no
59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? I'm tryna love myself
60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Ugh only all the time
61. do you want to get married? Idk maybe
62. worst thing you’ve ever done? Pass 😅
63. three things that turn you on. Biting, scratching, grinding
64. who do you hate? I dont waste the energy to hate anyone
65. favorite term of endearment? Probably something mean like dork or idiot lol
66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Alycia debnam-carey
67. intimidating girls or kind girls? Both 😍
68. what do you look for in a possible partner? Kindness, fun, adventurous, goofy, can have good conversations, respectful, generous, bold
69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? Feminine
70. are you good at flirting? Fuck no 😂
71. Who was the first person you came out to? I think it was my best friend from college. Or my sister I cant remember
72. do you have any friends who are wlw? Push me to the edge, all my friends are gay. But seriously all my friends are gay. The gay population in Cleveland is staggering
73. Is your crush wlw? Dont have a crush
74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? Every man I ever have the displeasure of speaking to
75. write a short love poem to your crush/self? "I love me, bitch. I ain't ever gonna stop loving me, biiiiitch"
76. do you fall in love easily? Definitely not
77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yea lol
78. are you good at hiding your feelings? I'm so bad at it
79. are you a forgiving person? Yes but sometimes I shouldn't be
80. what is your “type?” brunettes, femme athletic girls. Confident but also goofy
81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? Both but preferably her fall asleep in mine
82. Tall or short girls? I'm not picky :)
83. hugs or kisses? I love a good hug
84. twirl her around or get twirled? Hmm guess it depends on who I'm with
85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Oof do either and I'm yours
86. hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neeeck 🤤
87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy? I wouldn't know lmao
88. making out or soft kisses? Never had a soft kiss so makeout
89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Around the neck
90. how confident are you in your sexuality? Not a lot but getting better
91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? I blush at everything I look like a tomato. And it's more like butterflies on fire
92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Yes and yes and it ended horribly
93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls? Just after my 21st birthday
94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? Yikes honestly it could be anything bc I'm so awkward
95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Clexa 🤩
96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? "I don't care what you do or who you do it with but homosexuality is a disease on society."
97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? About 7 months ago :/
98. what is love to you? Commitment and compromise. Understanding the other person and when you dont try to see where the other is coming from. Being friends, enjoying the others company and not having to talk or say anything. You want to be a better person bc of them. Growing and learning together
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kuroandtheguys · 6 years
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QUOTES (as in things i’ve said, not necessarily original things but things ive said.) FROM MUN HIKARY,HER DAD AND CLASSMATES AS RP STARTERS:
"get your fuck boy out of my house"
"Listen here you fuck nugget"
"don't touch me you bafoon"
"leave the soul alone"
"WHERE IS SPACE DAD"
"i got some shoes from my drug dealer, i dont know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day...."
"Sure thing Chew-Brocka"
"the beatings will continue until morale improves."
"looking to protect yourself or deal some damage?"
"The egg-salts?"
"much cheese cake"
"FIGHT ME"
"DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE!"
"baby,princess, dear,dearest. Do me a favorite and get your head out of my ass"
"Whats up gays!"
"Its 1 get the fuck up you lil shit"
"its a porch...not a deck....."
"when one plays the earth game twister one finds out more about the other's than they wanted"
"pain is your reward for being near me."
"oh it's the nasty crime boi"
"follow the yellow-dick road"
"these jokes arent the only thing that suck"
"stupid controls! I said walk to the side not jump off the cliff"
"_GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY GODDESS!"
"Zarkon unhand my space father"
"sadness is merely a part of life."
"BON BON YOU WANT SUM FUC"
"they're gonna play Mario cart"
"that's how friendship dies"
"ID BE THE TINY ANGRY GUY, I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME"
"Space Dad jokes are out of this world"
"space dad part of a balanced breakfast"
" i wonder whats over here, oh its plot"
"not all wood resists magic damage"
"destroy us all!"
"i could pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer."
"i would fuck lance because who wouldn't"
"ITS BECAUSE IM A DEMON ISINT IT? THATS RACIST!"
" IF YOU LOVED ME YOUD KILL THE SPIDERS"
"Fite me!"
"fuck Shiro because, just look at him. Who wouldn’t?"
"I am tumblr senpai"
"Why is he grinding?!"
"They bonded by beating the shit out of eachother."
"ah ah put those grabby hands away." (wow without context that sounds really dirty)
"if I have social anxiety and YOU have social anxiety then who's going to order the food?"
"now if they made space dad shaped mac and cheese i wouldnt mind so much"
"it could be 1 of 2 things metal leg or morning wood"
"i like chicks not dicks"
"why cant you just say vagina?"
"Ok so if you ever need a break from your mech with a watersport kink let me know."
"I love you" "dude thats gay..." "we are litterly having sex"
"watch your mouth you little shit"
"yes daddy dearest"
"COME HERE MY SPACE CHILD"
"Let me hug you space child"
"i must adopt this lost space child"
"soft and warm space dad"
"omg your so extra"
"hgn those claws he could just rip me apart"
"we can go inside"
"i wouldn't want to expose you"
"he's see more of your girlfriend than you have"
"we had a bonding moment i punched you in the face!"
"I ate my school"
"this limp noodle"
"PRAISE MUNWAY"
"You wanna ride my huge dragon"
"and i don't know....somethin' bout friendship..."
"Tid be a pitty if i killed him off"
"you've been shanked" "..with a ruler..."
"did you just giggle your boobs at me?"
"It was an earth shattering shit"
"I am the pumpkin gardian"
"Hold my beer and watch this mother fucker
"Careful nuts make you swell, just ask your sister"
"My dad the crack dealer"
"balls deep in an au"
"Don't fuck on my expensive leather couch you cunts"
"He's a perceptive hoe"
"blubbering balls of teenage awkwardness"
"What can I say except~ FUCK OFF"
"I am the alpha dad"
"thats a kick in the danger clam"
"your gonna get your weiner stuck in the baby gate"
"I'm taking you back to the pound"
"I'm so sorry the princess had his feelings hurt"
“Hey demons, it’s ya boi, Satan. Give me the homie back”
"my name is stan, im satan"
"I Came Here For A Good Time And All I Got Was Porn"
"it went from warm to freezing because snow miser is shitting on us"
"Near death can be fixed with ducktap"
"I don't remember what I did with my pants"
"It smells" "You smell" "Your face smells" "You almost got punched I'm the face"
"Bueno bear"
"MAKE THAT ANGST YOUR BITCH"
“Gently bullied him into submission”
*Holds up fishing pole and bubbles* hookers and blow.
"To hard, to thick. I'd get hair stuck in my teeth" "...don't ever say that in public."
"Even lesbians like babies"
"My dad is like a fun vampire"
You are a steampunk blood warrior with a plan"
"You are a steampunk blood warrior with a flan"
"You've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth lesbian"
"You just made the inquisitior gay" "Yes" 5 minutes later "So what else us on the table" "The inquisitior"
"Did...did you just call the Cat a butt plug?"
"not like that you kinky fuck"
"kinky princess Matthew holt and his fluffy sidekick Mr whiskers."
"DONT MAKE ME KINKSHAME YOU AGAIN" "MAYBE YOU'LL KINKSHAME ME HARD THIS TIME"
"I'm gay and I'm ready to party"
"You founded a country on cocaine and prostitution?"
"You know what looks delicious" "What" "Your tight ass" "Your a hoe, like ben" "_ lemme smash"
"Human Sacrifice is always an option if you aren't a weak little bitch."
"Last time you had an imaginary friend I'm pretty sure it was a demon"
" I don't want to be propositioned by you in private!"
"Don't vore the dogs"
"Surely not everyone was kung-fu fighting" "They were" "..we're they fast as lightning?" "No they were slow, Tai Chi mother fucker"
"There’s a train of thought but it’s been de railed and Billy the kid robbed it."
"Shes just where burgers go to die"
"Im a priest to our lady of sin and this is my seeing eye dragon"
"Hello nightmares my old freind"
"they took some scaly lizard dick"
"I would go to Satan jazz club"
"Gandalf the off white"
"Stop kicking my puppy"
"You sleep darted that man in the dick"
"i didn't hit puberty...i just kinda shook it's hand"
"Tall, dark, warm and edgy. The perfect dad"
"Cerberus thinks he's a lap dog"
"thank god for incredible upper body strength"
"No ship wars. I multi ship like an adult" "Am I an adult I poly ship?" "Yes"
" my flaccid dagger"
"He's running around like a squirrel on crack"
"Could you please acidenly flex somewhere else your distracting me"
"It is the first day of Christmas fucker"
"Don't make me beat ypu with egg nog"
"Why did it suddenly become British?"
"You've been BLUNDERSTRUCK"
"Slav tellaported from another dimension to punch you in the arm"
"Floating kingdom of dabalon"
"I like my nightshade pomegranate flavored"
"dont dab on my boobs"
"The first vampire ran into the sun"
"I need a pocket sendak"
"Four score and 7 years ago our founding pirates"
"Been fueling up on....."
"Life is a highway?"
"the lyrics are coke and whiskey dumb ass"
"all i want for Christmas is the dreamiest daddy."
"HAIL KURO"
"patience yields fucking"
"Gray haired man on a house coming through" "I tottally thought you said gay haired man"
"Oh... mood"
"You wrap presents like a blind t rex"
"i take a look at me enormous-"
"white privilege."
"I swear to all of the gods I'm going to climb you like a fucking vine"
"The pellar, he uh.... loves his goat"
"whispers goat fuckerrrr"
"sleeping with slytherins" "dont you mean sirens?" "same fucking thing"
"No one told you life was gonna be this-" "Gay?"
"I am truly the hobo on top of the polar express" "No your the homo ontop of the polar express" "Can't she be a homo hobo?"
"Kinkshame me harder"
“Kinkshame me harder spicy papa”
"Male griffin returns and is like what the fuck did you do to my wife"
"WITH YOUR SHAG CARPET ID BE GETTING HAIR BALLS"
"Drug cloud please disperse"
"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"
"BITCH I OUTRANK YOU"
"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"
"Right in the paw patroler"
"Stuffed em up Mr patato head's butt"
"feed me"
"i swear if you start singing-"
"must be blood"
"here she gose again"
"must be fresh"
"i dont wanna hear this"
"FEED ME, FEED ME SEYMORE~"
"Get on the fucking dragon or I will leave you in this tower"
"Vivia le roi" "LONG LIVE THE REVALUATION" "No.... long live the king"
"I'm a senior my vote counts more"
"I am gentle snek"
"The boner wizzard is a girl" "That's a dragon" "Girl dragon"
"my father the actual 5 year old" "thats right 5 times a whole bunch"
"why..... is your icon a crotch buldge?"
"Layers" "Like an oinion" "Yes and their all gonna make you cry"
"You blushing" "I'm pasty and I burn in the sun anytime I go out." "So your burned..?" "Yes fucker"
 "You should be careful dancing around with those daggers when I'm throwing fire" "It won't hurt me. It's friendly fire"
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misterbitches · 3 years
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@flootweed ​
ATOTS
That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they
not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.
WBL
haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 
ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...
and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.
i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.
however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 
i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 
i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.
alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks
LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.
DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!
it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.
pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 
yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.
 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.
0 notes
amaloaf · 7 years
Note
All of them
3 Fears3 things I love2 turns on2 turns offMy best friendSexual orientationHow tall am IWhat do I miss right nowFavourite colorDo I have a crush ^ already answered these
Favourite place
my room of the senior lounge in my school
What am I listening to right now
a davenchurch playlist (current song: Something I Need- One Republic) 
Shoe size
9-10 womens
Eye color
brown and gold
Hair color
ALSO brownish-gold
Meaning behind my URL
haha Fenton called me a walking paradox as a joke and it stuck!
Favourite song
literally dont have one but im currently loving “Waving Through a Window” from the dear evan hanson soundtrack
Favourite band
either panic! at the disco or fall out boy
How I feel right now
absolutely awful but you sending this completely boosted my mood!! 
Someone I love
oh sweet jesus, Fenton and Ellie and Pear and Cade and Vinny and Dylan and Sydney and Daffy and Simon and Nico and Jayme and Kiwi and Arily and this is going overboard but i cannot hold all my love in
My current relationship status
painfully single and desperately needing to get laid
My relationship with my parents
no
Favourite season
fall
Tattoos and piercing i have
none, unfortunately 
Tattoos and piercing i want
a septum piercing, 1mm gauges, a second piercing, an outer ear ring, sleeve tats of intertwining roses and dandelions, magnus’ railsplitter somewhere (im still deciding on where..) 
The reasons I joined Tumblr
all my middle school friends had it
Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
not anymore
Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
i kissed my dad before 
How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
cosmetically? five minutes max
Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?
unfortunately i did yesterday  
Where am I right now?
at my desk, sitting on pile of laundry im neglecting 
Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
i like it quiet
Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
both, but unhappily 
Am I excited for anything?
death, also graduation i guess
Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
my friends Cade and Dylan are good buddies 
How often do I wear a fake smile?
….. next question
If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
the mcelroys, specifically travis 
What do I think about most?
not to be dark but death 
Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
neither, but behind if i have to be
What was the last lie I told?
“no mom i totally bought this”
Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
i dont do either v much but i really like vids when i can get them
Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
yes and yes (i saw three ghosts in my life)
Do I believe in magic?
hell yeah
Do I believe in luck?
mostly
What’s the weather like right now?
clear night skies with a slight fall nip in the air
What was the last book I’ve read?
animal farm by george orwell 
Do I have any nicknames?
M.K., M, Loaf
Do I spend money or save it?
both? 
Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
nope!
Favourite animal?
hgnnnnn cant choose, maybe sharks?
What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
sleeping 
What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
Hips Dont Lie! 
What is my favorite word?
bludgeoning because im a nerd 
If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
CUT THE CRAP AND LEARN TO LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE GOD DAMN IT
Do I have any relatives in jail?
i deadass dont talk to my family but im p sure one of my cousins was arrested last week 
What is my current desktop picture?
that picture of the sloth photoshopped on a dolphin with the P!NK lyrics
Had sex?
B)
Bought condoms?
no
Gotten pregnant?
oh god no
Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
no but my first kiss with a boy i got sprayed on at a waterpark 
Had job?
im a partime paralegal 
Smoked weed?
yep
Smoked cigarettes?
for a long ass time in middle school (if im bein real honest im going to pic it back up again probably)
Drank alcohol?
ya
Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
definetly not
Been overweight?
currently am
Been underweight?
when i was born
Gotten my heart broken?
plenty of times
Been to prom?
yes
Been in airplane?
oh yeah, i love flying
Learned another language?
took spanish for 10+ years and dont know a damned word of it 
Wore make up?
ye
Dyed my hair?
no but i really want to 
Had a surgery?
yes! some work on my ear after i fucked it up as a baby
Met someone famous?
a band called After Romeo 
Stalked someone on a social network?
i tend to go through social media when i find new accounts i like but its never stalkerish 
Been fishing?
got the license and everything
Been rejected by a crush?
yea, ive only ever had one crush where it panned out 
What do I want for birthday?
a binder 
Do I like my handwriting?
no
Where do I want to live when older?
idk, im praying i dont end up back in vegas
Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
got caught reading awful porn once does that count
What I’m really bad at
ohh im really holding back on saying “everything” but if i had to choose wind instruments 
What my greatest achievments are
my art, my relationships, my baby handling skills
The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
ill give you the second worse: “ well at least being a fattass made you bouncy”
What I’d do if I won in a lottery
buy a house, get a super crazy nice computer, give some money to the friends listed up earlier on the list and draw for all eternity 
What do I like about myself
my eyes and my good heart and my ability to fake good things
My closest Tumblr friend
oh definitely Fenton or @whyldkratts
Any question you’d like?
feel free to send in your own question! 
Are you outgoing or shy?
yes
What kind of people are you attracted to?
soft bellies, thick legs and hips, nice pecs, soft long hair, nice lips
Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
idk maybe? i hope so, yall can feel free to make the first move ;3
Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
no, i actually like it! 
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
my buddy Cade
What does the most recent text that you sent say?
ok
What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
Something I Need, Michel in the Bathroom, For Forever, Waving Through a Window, and Freeze Your Brain 
Do you like it when people play with your hair?
oh yes!! please play with my hair!!! ((and playing with OTHER peoples hair??? oh boy howdy dont even get me started!!!!))
Do you think there is life on other planets?
hell yes! 
Do you like bubble baths?
sure, no real pref either way
Do you like your neighbors?
NOPE
Where would you like to travel?
yes!
Favorite part of your daily routine?
sleep
What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
*sweats* yes?? (probably my boobs and stomach, also my arms)
What do you do when you wake up?
stare at the ceiling and mentally prepare myself for the day
Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
darker, it lost a lot of melinin when i hit puberty for some reason??
Do you ever want to get married?
yes! even if its just a platonic life partner marriage! 
If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
yep
Would you rather live without TV or music?
telivision my man
Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
yep! one time it went to shit the other time it went fairly ok
What are your favorite stores to shop in?
target and hot topic
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
normally yes but you gotta kno when to get the hell away from certain folks
Do you smile at strangers?
sometimes
Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
OH yeaaah
Ever wished you were someone else?
every god damned day
Favourite makeup brand?
cheap 
Last thing you ate?
mashed potatoes
Ever won a competition? For what?
won a college science fair in middle school once 
Ever been in love?
im always in love
Facebook or Twitter?
twitter always (pst mines @emiglody95
Twitter or Tumblr?
tumblr 
Are you watching tv right now?
no
What colour are your towels?
beige and brown 
Favourite ice cream flavour?
cookie dough or coffee 
First person you talked to today?
my mother or Ellie i can remember 
Last person you talked to today?
Pear or my day, again i cant remember 
Name a person you hate?
Prestly, Kevin, Zoe, Mike
Name a person you love?
hmm ive already listed a lot of people already so lets go with: Wilson
Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
remember Kevin from two asks ago? 
Do you tan a lot?
im outside a lot but my tan is mostly natural 
Have any pets?
my dog, Gus! 
Do you type fast?
yes actually!! 
Do you regret anything from your past?
im not lookin to type a paragraph so lets go with yes
Ever broken someone’s heart?
yeah,, 
Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
every day
Is cheating ever okay?
no, but if your partner got seriously fucked up and it was a total accident and you trust them then MAYBE you can reconsider not throwing their asses out
Do you believe in true love?
to an extent 
What your zodiac sign?
leo! 
Do you believe in ghosts?
id better ive seen three of ‘em
Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“ Its fine”, she said primly as she turned back to the trays of jewelry. 
2 notes · View notes
fanficimagery · 7 years
Text
Anonymous said: Do u do monty imagines bc i rly need more of him + Anonymous said: Please give me more monty i cant get enough
Author's Note: Because some of you asked so nicely.. enjoy my attempt at Montgomery. Also, much thanks to @jayadoreee for creating 'Dating Montgromery Includes' headcanons that sparked the idea for this ;) One headcanon in particular had me laughing, but as I was listening to a couple of songs.. inspiration struck! So go listen to 'Gangsta' and 'Crazy in Love' to get a feel of the mood I was in when writing this XD
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MONTY X READER
Montgomery de la Cruz. There was a lot to be said about this bad boy, a lot to dislike about him as well, but given that he's been your boyfriend for the last eight months.. well you mustn't find him all that terrible.
But that wasn't the case once upon a time. Once upon a time you sneered at his attempts to intimidate fellow students, told him to fuck off one too many times to count, and even shoved him off Alex once when they got into one of their monthly fist fights.
His cruelty lessened when he turned his sights on you and every time you went to tell him off, you found that your amusement would spike. He noticed it, too, if his attempts to get a rise out of you almost everyday were anything to go by. Every curse you spewed at him was then followed by a smile and roll of your eyes instead of a sneer, and you found that Monty had wormed his way beneath your skin without even realizing it until it was too late.
The first time he asked you out, you had laughed in his face and walked away. The second time, you thought it over and rejected him with a joke, but the third.. the third time was the charm.
There was something genuine about his request the third time he sought you out, about the way he willingly took the jabs from his jock friends without lashing out at them that made you decide to give him a chance. You then ended up giving him several chances after that since his anger used to get the best of him and you were constantly bickering about his bullying tendencies, but he soon cooled off and mellowed out much to your pleasure.
Because if it wasn't for Monty, you wouldn't have flourished and opened up in ways that you never expected you were capable of doing. That and you never would have realized just what kinks you had.
"Hey, babe, ready to go?" Monty leans tiredly against the bleachers after baseball practice- hat worn backwards, shirt soaked with sweat and duffel bag hanging off one shoulder. "It's hot."
"Yeah. Let me just pack up." 
You quickly shove your textbooks and spirals back into your book bag, standing up and hopping down the stairs. Monty waits for you at the bottom, automatically taking your hand into his as he walks you to his vehicle. He's not one for public affection unless it's in a joking, teasing manner in front of his friends, but you don't really care to be all over him in front of anyone anyway.
Once situated in his jeep though, you both lean over the space separating you and meet each other halfway. The kiss is slow and languid, his tongue slipping into your mouth to caress yours. His teeth catch your bottom lip then and he bites down with just enough pressure to make you groan as he pulls back. His darkened gaze holds nothing but promises for a fun time later, and you momentarily wonder how the hell this boy is ready to go after a grueling day under the sun.
"You're showering before anything happens," you say, voice already thick with want.
He smirks. "God bless mothers who nag their husbands enough until he gets off his ass and takes her to Vegas. You're spending the night with me tonight."
Your gut warms in anticipation and you clench your thighs to ease the sudden throbbing when his hand lands just above your knee and slowly inches towards your inner thigh. "Yes, sir," you airily breathe and then chuckle darkly when he groans in return.
The drive to your house is as fast as possible without tempting law enforcement to pull you guys over. You leave your bag in Monty's vehicle, knowing you'll need it tomorrow, and make quick work of rushing inside to pack an overnight bag and clothes for the following day. And then the last thing you do before leaving is change your current underthings for something more fresh and eye appealing.
You barely have time to shut the door to the jeep before Monty's peeling out, you laughing as he clenches his jaw and wraps his hands tight around the steering wheel to make sure you get to his house in one piece.
Since you're already familiar with the layout of Monty's house, you casually stroll about as he takes the stairs two at time to reach his personal bathroom. You laugh at his retreat, grabbing yourself a bottle of water from the fridge before making you're way up. Setting aside your belongings takes no time at all, so you make yourself comfortable by kicking off your shoes and putting on some music.
Monty soon returns, the only article of clothing he's wearing being a pair of jeans slung low on his hips. 'Gangsta' starts playing over the dock speakers, the beat of the song setting the mood right away and you gulp at the sight of water droplets traveling down his chest. 
He smirks as he saunters towards you and you hesitantly stand to meet him halfway. "I have plans for you tonight, sweetheart."
Your eyes widen as your heart starts to thump faster and Monty rests his hands on your shoulders. His hands slowly travel down your arms until he reaches your hips, his hands then wandering towards your back and down to your ass, still travelling lower until he grips the back of your thighs in hand and lifts you up. Immediately your hands clasp together at the back of his neck and he chuckles deeply as he walks you around to the side of his bed before kneeling on the mattress and dropping you in the middle.
"Am I going to like these plans?" You ask, voice nearly a murmur.
"Y/N, you're going to love 'em."
His lips crash hungrily against yours, one hand diving into the hair at the nape of your neck. As he grips and pulls as hard as he dares, you moan aloud and allow him the chance to lick inside your mouth. It's hungry, yet passionate at the same time and your toes curl in anticipation.
Maneuvering you around so your back is towards the headboard, he pushes you down until you’re flat on your back and continues his nipping kisses down the side of your neck. "I know how much you enjoy my formal ties coming into play," he says, "but I got something a little different this time around.”
And it's true. You didn't think you'd be into the whole being tied up during sex, but something about Monty doing the tying up really got you going. Even more when Monty let you tie him up.
You don't realize what he's talking about until you find your wrists pinned together above your head, your eyes widening in surprise when you hear the jingle of chains. "Shh. Relax," he murmurs, nipping your chin. "It's not handcuffs."
No, it's not handcuffs, but it is leather cuffs that are linked to thin chains that are hidden between the headboard and mattress. "Fuck me," you mutter, feeling even more turned on than you were just seconds ago.
"That's the plan."
Your wrists are soon bound and you hiss when pull on them, the cuffs biting into the delicate skin. Monty chuckles as he slowly starts to slide your shirt up, groaning when he reveals black lace and then leaving your shirt as a blindfold over your eyes. You start to squirm as he trails kisses over the tops of your breasts, then trails his tongue down the center of your abdomen before sucking a bruise just above the button of your jeans.
"Monty," you whine. "Stop teasing."
"As you wish."
The button of your jeans is popped open, the material roughly yanked down your legs before your knees are spread and the warmth of his mouth covers your throbbing center.
♪♫My freakness is on the loose and running all over you. Please take me to places that nobody, nobody knows. You got me hooked up on the feeling. You got me hanging from the ceiling. Got me up so high I'm barely breathing. So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me, don’t let me go♪♫
With only a few hours of sleep, you find yourself waking up later than you normally wake up and rush to get ready for school. Monty merely rolls over and continues sleeping as you shower, you then finding him dressed and as smug as can be when you re-enter his room to finish dressing.
"Stop staring at me," you whine. "And hurry up. You know I hate being late for school."
"You look well fucked," he muses. "No matter how much you brush your hair or apply concealer, you look like you had a long night."
"Mhm. Thank you for that. Now Jessica isn't going to shut up today and she's going to want all the details."
Monty laughs as you pull him out of the room, kicking his back pack towards him as you grab up yours. You're in such a rush to get to the school that you don't realize until it's too late that you forgot to do something important. While you remembered to cover the hickies surrounding your neck, you completely forgot about the other two obvious marks.
"Hey, Y/N," Jessica muses, tucked happily into Justin's side as they stop by your locker, "why are yours wrists so red?"
You freeze, mentally berating yourself for forgetting to cover those. You slam your locker shut only to find Jessica and Justin grinning knowingly, but merely roll your eyes in return. "Don't ask."
426 notes · View notes
ceruleantrolls · 7 years
Text
==> Noru: Lie awake at night thinking about people who wash their hair with soap
-- rainbowReflectivity [RR] began pestering hydraulicPsychiatrist [HP] at 02:53 --
[02:53] HP: Hello!
[02:53] RR: ) ) u remember me ( (
[02:53] HP: To be honest, no, sorry
[02:54] RR: ) ) thank god ( (
[02:54] HP: Give me a hint?
[02:54] RR: ) ) hows it goin yo ( (
[02:54] RR: ) ) peanut butter ( (
[02:54] HP: That
[02:54] HP: Sounds very familiar
[02:54] RR: ) ) dont think on it too hard ( (
[02:55] HP: Well I am now
[02:55] RR: ) ) no ( (
[02:55] RR: ) ) do not do that ( (
[02:55] HP: Yes
[02:55] HP: I will do that
[02:55] RR: ) ) i have a hypothetical question to distract you ( (
[02:55] HP: I love hypothetical questions
[02:56] RR: ) ) how many hangers do you think it would take to hang a scrawny 6'someshit man in his closet by his suspenders and or shirt ( (
[02:56] RR: ) ) asking for a friend ( (
[02:56] RR: ) ) whos super not a dumbass ( (
[02:57] HP: You can't do that, really
[02:57] RR: ) ) why ( (
[02:57] HP: Hangers are not very strong
[02:57] RR: ) ) yeah but if you like ( (
[02:57] RR: ) ) tied a bunch together with duct tape or socks ( (
[02:57] HP: They would bend because they are made to be flexible
[02:58] HP: Also
[02:58] HP: What is the context of this
[02:58] RR: ) ) what kind of shitty ass hangers do they give you bluebloods ( (
[02:58] RR: ) ) no reason ( (
[02:58] HP: Normal ones?
[02:58] RR: ) ) just yknow ( (
[02:58] RR: ) ) looking for new sleeping arrangements ( (
[02:59] HP: I wouldn't recommend that as a sleeping arrangement
[02:59] RR: ) ) why not ( (
[02:59] HP: Unless you want to physically murder your back?
[02:59] RR: ) ) how would it murder my back. it'd be fine the hangers are doing all the work ( (
[03:00] RR: ) ) what if i taped em to the ceiling ( (
[03:00] RR: ) ) and made some sort of like janky sexless hanger sex swing ( (
[03:00] RR: ) ) a sleep swing ( (
[03:01] RR: ) ) of hangers ( (
[03:01] HP: Okay, I'm going to say this as nicely as I can
[03:01] RR: ) ) no youre not ( (
[03:02] RR: ) ) i feel it ( (
[03:02] HP: Do you want me to put it in a mean way?
[03:03] RR: ) ) i mean whatever you're into ( (
[03:04] RR: ) ) im not used to being niced at when being called a dumb shit is a much easier option ( (
[03:06] HP: Hmm
[03:06] HP: Okay, so none your ideas will work, and I am concerned because you may die?
[03:06] HP: I tried to be medium on a scale of nice to mean
[03:07] RR: ) ) thanks ( (
[03:07] RR: ) ) i dont think ill die tho ( (
[03:07] RR: ) ) my ceiling isnt that high unfortunately ( (
[03:07] RR: ) ) not like in a 'i wish falling off the ceiling would kill me' way ( (
[03:07] HP: It doesn't take that much to kill you if you fall at the right angle
[03:08] RR: ) ) like a im a big ass dude in a tiny ass lowblood apartment way ( (
[03:08] RR: ) ) not with all the shit on my floor ( (
[03:08] RR: ) ) ive got a cushioned fall ( (
[03:09] HP: I once fell from a relatively short distance and broke my wrist evn though it was onto a soft thing
[03:09] RR: ) ) ow ( (
[03:10] HP: It's okay, because I have a robot arm now and it's
[03:10] HP: Well
[03:10] HP: Totally sick
[03:10] RR: ) ) that sounds ill as fuck ( (
[03:10] RR: ) ) what color is it ( (
[03:10] RR: ) ) is it gold ( (
[03:10] RR: ) ) is it platinum ( (
[03:11] HP: It's black
[03:11] HP: Not super dark black
[03:11] RR: ) ) if i ever lose a limb i want to get a new one in the fucking ugliest mutant shade of teal ( (
[03:11] RR: ) ) lame ( (
[03:12] HP: Teal is a nice colour!
[03:12] HP: I think wearing ridiculous amounts of gold if you're any higher than teal is a bit, um
[03:13] RR: ) ) a bit um ( (
[03:14] HP: It makes you look like the kind of highblood who yells at a lowblooded cashier for saying 'no problem' instead of 'thanks, have a good day'
[03:14] RR: ) ) i like seeing my bloodcolor all over highbloods tho ( (
[03:14] RR: ) ) its kinda hot ( (
[03:14] HP: You want to try going up to them and telling them that?
[03:15] RR: ) ) that they're hot? ( (
[03:15] HP: Yes
[03:15] HP: Because of the yellow
[03:15] RR: ) ) you think my ugly fuckin mug can go up to ANYONE and tell them theyre hot without getting the snot beat outta me ( (
[03:15] RR: ) ) i mean you havent seen me ( (
[03:16] RR: ) ) but im a goddamn mess ( (
[03:16] RR: ) ) so like no ( (
[03:16] RR: ) ) ill just fan myself from afar like some royal asshole or some shit ( (
[03:17] HP: I was thinking more that you would die
[03:17] HP: But fair point I guess
[03:18] RR: ) ) yea ( (
[03:19] RR: ) ) what am i supposed to do with all these hangers ( (
[03:19] RR: ) ) i paid 5 dollars for this 40 pack but now im having second thoughts ( (
[03:19] RR: ) ) damn you ( (
[03:19] HP: Sorry!
[03:20] RR: ) ) thats 5 bucks thats not getting me bandage socks ( (
[03:20] RR: ) ) or hair soap ( (
[03:20] HP: Wait
[03:20] RR: ) ) shit ( (
[03:20] HP: You weren't the heathen that washes their hair just with soap, were you
[03:21] RR: ) ) everyone washes their hair with some sort of soap my man ( (
[03:21] HP: That is not an excuse!!
[03:21] RR: ) ) its the same DAMN SHIT ( (
[03:22] HP: It's the same thing if fish an frogs are the same thing
[03:22] RR: ) ) i wouldnt wash my hair with a frog ( (
[03:23] HP: Indicating that you would with a fish?
[03:24] RR: ) ) you know its taking all of me to not respond to that with some sort of uncouth joke about seadwellers ( (
[03:24] HP: I don't want to hear anything about any seadwellers
[03:25] RR: ) ) u brought up fish ( (
[03:25] RR: ) ) but anyway ( (
[03:25] RR: ) ) like i wouldnt wash my hair with a real life gilled and finned fish no ( (
[03:26] HP: But yo would wash your hair with soap and not shampoo
[03:26] RR: ) ) i dont have to worry about conflicting scents ( (
[03:26] HP: Scentless shampoo is a thing
[03:26] RR: ) ) no shampoo smells exactly the same as the bar counterpart ( (
[03:26] RR: ) ) gross ( (
[03:26] HP: It's not a counterpart!
[03:27] HP: Why would you do this to yourself
[03:27] RR: ) ) i dont trust anything thats scentless ( (
[03:27] RR: ) ) it IS and you know it ( (
[03:27] RR: ) ) $ ( (
[03:27] RR: ) ) $pite ( (
[03:27] HP: Didn't I offer to personally buy you bucketloads of shampoo last time we talked
[03:28] HP: Because if i dodn't I will
[03:28] RR: ) ) first of all never ever use the term bucketloads to me again ( (
[03:28] HP: What's wrong with the term bucketloads
[03:28] RR: ) ) bruh ( (
[03:28] RR: ) ) second of all yes but i declined because i refuse to be some bluebloods hair charity case ( (
[03:28] HP: Brah
[03:29] HP: It's not a charity case
[03:29] HP: It's therapy
[03:29] HP: For me
[03:29] RR: ) ) how the fuck ( (
[03:29] HP: Because I will lie awake thinking about this at night
[03:29] RR: ) ) envy all the money im saving ( (
[03:29] HP: The fact that someone in the world uses soap to wash their hair
[03:30] HP: Is going to haunt me until I die
[03:30] RR: ) ) im going to go do it right now ( (
[03:30] RR: ) ) im going to eat it after ( (
[03:30] HP: I'm going to write 'use shampoo' on my gravestone
[03:30] HP: No!!!
[03:30] RR: ) ) yes ( (
[03:31] RR: ) ) nom ( (
[03:31] HP: You'll throw it back up
[03:31] RR: ) ) i clean my entire self AND get a meal out of this bar of soap ( (
[03:31] RR: ) ) says who ( (
[03:31] HP: Science and me
[03:31] RR: ) ) you think im not accustomed to the taste of soap motherfucker? ( (
[03:31] HP: It's not the taste
[03:32] HP: It's the chemicals
[03:33] RR: ) ) mmmmm soap ( (
[03:33] HP: You'll have to clean up your own puke
[03:33] RR: ) ) there'll already be soap in it ( (
[03:33] RR: ) ) so easy ( (
[03:34] HP: That's not
[03:34] HP: No
[03:35] HP: I mean technically you're not wrong
[03:35] HP: But also no
[03:35] RR: ) ) yes ( (
[03:35] HP: No
[03:35] RR: ) ) come to daddy soap soap ( (
[03:35] HP: Now I'm kinkshaming
[03:36] RR: ) ) hey youre the one with the shampoo fetish ( (
[03:36] RR: ) ) im just a simple soap farmer ( (
[03:36] RR: ) ) living off my soap crops ( (
[03:36] HP: It's called hygeiene and taking care of yourself
[03:37] RR: ) ) i do take care of myself ( (
[03:37] RR: ) ) i can name at least one instance of taking so much care of myself that happened within the last 24 hours ( (
[03:37] HP: You were just talking about sleeping on a bunch of hangers
[03:37] RR: ) ) for my back? ( (
[03:38] HP: It would ruin your back
[03:38] RR: ) ) my recouperacoons being fucky and i cant fix it ( (
[03:38] RR: ) ) what else am i supposed to do man ( (
[03:38] HP: Have fun cleaning up that soap puke when it hurts to bend over
[03:39] HP: Sofa? Bed? Lots of blankets on the floor?
[03:39] RR: ) ) ehhhhhhhhh ( (
[03:39] RR: ) ) none of those give you that floating feeling ( (
[03:39] RR: ) ) i need the slime or somethign like it ( (
[03:40] HP: you can get the slime and fill your bath with it
[03:40] HP: Or one of those inflatable pools
[03:41] RR: ) ) how am i supposed to get slime when my recouperacoon is sick ( (
[03:41] RR: ) ) do they actually sell that shit ( (
[03:41] HP: Yes
[03:41] HP: What do you think other people do when their coons break
[03:42] RR: ) ) fix them or hang themselves from the ceiling?? ( (
[03:42] RR: ) ) anyways ( (
[03:42] HP: No!!
[03:42] RR: ) ) i do actually have to go find a solution cause i gotta pass the fuck out sometime fore the sun sets again ( (
[03:42] HP: I have a spare one
[03:42] HP: Spare coon
[03:43] RR: ) ) srsly? ( (
[03:43] HP: Yeah
[03:43] RR: ) ) like just laying around? ( (
[03:43] HP: Yes
[03:43] RR: ) ) are you gonna kill me if i come to you and use it? ( (
[03:43] HP: Kill you?
[03:43] HP: Why would I do that?
[03:43] RR: ) ) its a good murderer ruse ( (
[03:43] RR: ) ) come down this alley kid ive got sleep for yas right here ( (
[03:44] HP: I live in a ruin in a forest
[03:44] HP: Oh wait
[03:44] HP: That isn't much better is it
[03:44] RR: ) ) okay then thats not happening tonight ( (
[03:44] RR: ) ) i live in th city m'man ( (
[03:44] HP: The forest is next to the city
[03:45] RR: ) ) im like dead center ( (
[03:45] RR: ) ) of the city ( (
[03:45] HP: Anyway I've never killed anyone before so killing you now for no reason would be kind of anticlimactic
[03:45] HP: I work in the middle of the city in a clinic
[03:45] HP: There's beds there too
-- rainbowReflectivity [RR] ceased pestering hydraulicPsychiatrist [HP] at 03:46 --
1 note · View note
brownthrussy · 7 years
Note
1-85
Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk
1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.
2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.
3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.
4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes
5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah
6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol
7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc
9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.
10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.
11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It’d be nice someday so sure lol
12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.
13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae
14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol
15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol
16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol
17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention
ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??
.
20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si
21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao
22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol
23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol
.
24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol
25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol
26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si
27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol
28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me
29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No
30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol
31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.
32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.
33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol
34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool
35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si
36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way
37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol
38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild
39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend
40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person
41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage
42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???
43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!
44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol
45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.
46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?
47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol
48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”
49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes
50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation
51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes
52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done
53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own
54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh
55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out
56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today
57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well
58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.
59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later
60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol
61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective
62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍
63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish
64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating
65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus
66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.
67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment
68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual
69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.
70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen
71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.
72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???
73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters
74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol
75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl
76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao
77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright
78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast
79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned
80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit
81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em
82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister
83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more
84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol
85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there
1 note · View note
Text
How to Ask Out a Boy, According to Mermaids ~*~ [Mersisters]
In which Attina needs help!
[feat. Andrina, Arista, Alana, and Ariel. Adella and Aquata in spirit. <3]
@arista-the-musical, @alana-the-badbitch, @ariel-the-rebellious
Attina BREAKING NEWS: okay well not totally sorta kinda WELL andrina knows because i told her last night but anyways anyways GUESs WHO GOT A BOY'S NUMBER LAST NIGHT for the first time E V E R
Ariel: OMG OMG WHO
Alana You're welcome
Attina yes yes, shout out to Alana for giving me the gumption where would i be without you. [kissy face emoji] Attina ANDD his name is Paul. he's superrrrr handsome and charming.
Andrina and a dad,
Alana so when are you meeting
Ariel OH HE'S THE DAD GUY
Alana wtf Alana ew
Attina okay YES he is a dad but Attina babiessss Attina they're so cute
Alana double ew
Ariel he's really nice he seems like a good dad Ariel also he gives good advice
Attina wait, ariel how do /you/ know him??
Andrina wait how does ariel know him
Arista Sorry guys I had to wrestle my phone away from Van.... but now that I'm like caught up ATTINAS GONNA BE A STEP MOM
Ariel and he knows about safe sex
Andrina wait
Attina woah what
Alana what
Ariel texting!
Alana clEARLY NOt Alana if he has kids
Attina Oh god, I didn't even /think/ about that. Attina Maybe it was an accident?
Andrina so let me get this straight, your mystery guy was texting about /safe sex/ with Ariel
Ariel well yeah but he says that he was married and they wanted babies or something i think
Andrina ????
Attina Wait. He /was/ married???
Ariel it was a long conversation!
Andrina ?????
Arista Glad I don't have to worry about pregnancy anymore~
Ariel I think? I don't remember!
Andrina Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this
Attina Do you still have the texts???
Alana l m a o
Ariel Yeah! Hold on, lemmie get em
Attina Sidenote: Arista you should still be being SAFE
Ariel Okay okay he's a bartender... scrolling...
Arista I dunno guys like maybe he tried to do the right thing and marry the lady he had the kids with because he wanted to be responsible. Attina likes responsible
Alana when you bang him, you can look deep in his eyes and know he was telling your baby sister about rubbers
Attina ALANA
Ariel He likes chocolate
Alana i am just saying
Andrina I mean, he could have told her a lot /worse/
Arista No chocolate would be a deal breaker
Attina everyone likes chocolate ariel i need to know if he was MARRIED
Andrina could've gotten his dick out
Ariel OH, NO. NOT married
Alana that is also true
Arista unless he's allergic
Ariel he clarified that very distinctly
Attina Oh thank god. Okay SEE you guys
Alana woop de doo atty not a divorcee
Ariel He also said good boys like to be asked out by girls
Attina Look, he's very sweet and I'm not going to judge him for mistakes he's made. Not a Attina: WAIT what
Alana told you
Ariel You should ask him out!
Alana you listen to him and not me Alana do it do it
Ariel Safe and consensual sex matters, uhhh
Attina I CANT ASK HIM OUTTT
Andrina I really feel like we need screenshots before we can go forward with this convo because frankly i dont know if this guy tried to hit on ariel or not based on the info i'm getting
Arista Okay, so I'm like not the most observant but that sounds like a line to Ariel... Jumping from baby to oldest kinda fast. I wonder why I didn't get a line from him. Did anyone else get a line?
Andrina: see ^^^^
Andrina THANK you arista
Ariel His kids come first
Alana maybe he's gonna go through all of is
Ariel ASK HIM OUT
Alana **ys
Ariel I'm still reading hold on
Alana GODDAMNIT
Attina oh god
Andrina SEND SCREENSHOTS
Arista If there's one thing I know its music and boy lines
Alana nails are drying
Ariel OKAY OKAY
Arista oh wait thats two
Ariel [screenshots attached]
Arista or multiple
Attina wait ariel, he didn't hit on you did he???
Alana you can count arista im bloody thrilled
Ariel He was not hitting on me!!!
Andrina OKAY EVERYONE. Focus:::::
Arista ... Arista [sad face emoji]
Ariel Oh he didn't use a condom Ariel You should use a concom
Alana yes, attina, listen to ariel Alana i can buy them for you if you're scared
Andrina wow quoting shakespeare. u think he googled that
Attina GoD Attina I don't think so, he seems like the bookish type, honestly Attina he told me to impress him with movie references
Alana ariel for the love of god how little about sex do you know
Andrina ok h o n e s t l y these seem pretty pg, i am embarrassed on behalf of ariel if anyone Andrina love you ariel
Alana ' Is sex hot bc it's sweaty?'
Attina I feel like we apparently don't talk about sex enough
Ariel Listen, I hadn't been in the water for a while! I wasn't feeling right!
Attina all that pruning go to your head?
Alana are you going to tell us about the birds and the bees
Ariel Also sex is confusing. They tell you one thing in school and then movies and t.v shows portray otherwise.
Arista Guys he must like really like Attina because like he said he says nicely no to girls he doesn't like. So like he must really like Attina or he would've said no. No pity dates nope
Andrina ^^^^
Ariel Yeah pay attention to what Arista said!
Andrina yes getting back to the point now that we've #crisisaverted
Attina I don't know I don't know maybe he was just being NICE
Ariel He IS nice!
Arista Then wouldn't that make him a liar? right guys? right? Arista because he told ARiel one thing
Ariel No no he has kids and he's nice and he gave Attina her number!!
Arista and then is just "being nice" and saying yes so
Ariel Attina ASK HIM OUT!!!
Attina Well, maybe he was just taking pity on me like lol what is there to like
Andrina b o o attina stop that
Ariel Ummm, so much????
Alana oh my god attina
Arista You is kind. You is smart. You is... I don't remember the rest of that quote of the movie I watched with you Atty but it doesn't matter because those two things are true [okay hand sign emoji]
Arista Also Vanellope says hi and that you're super cool Attina
Attina important. That's the last one THO also probably the least true of those lmao
Andrina well if vanellope says it
Arista and that I look really cute when I'm worried
Alana if you dont text him i will
Arista and that I should stop typing everything she says, no serious-- Oh right yeah
Attina boys don't care about kind or smart
Andrina dont be a misandrist, attina
Andrina kidding Andrina dont generalize men attina
Alana actually jk i dont want to deal with kids
Attina He knows you're my sister so i doubt he'd give you his number
Alana how does he know??
Arista I thought that meant she didn't like woman
Attina oh wait that might be a good idea we can test him and see if he really would just give his number to anyone
Arista women*
Attina I pointed you out the other night
Alana wow
Attina WHAT he asked about my sisters and i couldn't find andrina
Alana no i meant wow about the whole TESTING HIM Alana sometimes you just have to take a chance
Attina also arista misandry is like the opposite of misogyny, which is what you're thinking of. i know, they're very close together
Alana on loooveee
Andrina ok as much as i'd love to fake-hit on Dilf Patts, that really wouldn't prove anything because he's a free bloke right now and i'm amazing so
Alana ask arista
Attina well we cant all have super cute nerdy girlfriends we're weirdly perfect with
Alana thats why you have to TAKE A CHANCE
Arista yeah like the ABBA song should be paul's theme song playing behind him right now "TAke a chance on me"
Arista wait what
Andrina AND attina what if you ran into another cute boy tomorrow and you hit it off and you gave him his number too?? you didn't enter into a social contract that's why you have to A S K H I M O U T
Arista what are we asking me Arista I was too busy singing ABBA
Attina ARIsTA got asked out not the other way around Attina what if i push too much you know i push too much
Andrina ok new strategy
Arista I kissed her first before she asked me out tbh
Andrina you text him Andrina first Andrina you Andrina make riveting conversation Andrina you entice him Andrina into Andrina asking Andrina you Andrina out
Alana flash your tits Alana no dont do that
Andrina second date, alana
Arista whats up with your phone Andrina
Alana lol
Andrina what Andrina do Andrina you Andrina mean
Attina more like maybe six or fifth date
Alana yeah Alana what Alana do
Andrina fourth date, but we'll debate it at another time
Alana you
Arista wow maybe it's my phone
Ariel Don't flash your tits! Ew!
Attina ALSO where is ariel did she disappear? alana go see where she is Attina oh hello sis
Ariel I had to pee Ariel LISTEN
Alana 😇
Attina im not flashing my tits at ANYONE
Ariel He said he likes when a girl asks him out!! Ariel So ask him out!!!! Ariel If he says no there are other of fish in the sea Ariel Some literal
Attina okay okay Attina wait
Andrina i can't believe you just made a mermaid joke Andrina yes i can
Arista yeah def ask him out, boys are more clueless than me sometimes
Ariel Well we ARE mermaids, remember?
Attina he told me to text him interesting animal facts right
Andrina no i forgot
Alana wait we are????
Ariel OH OH
Arista how could you forget Andrina you have a tail
Attina B U T
Ariel TEXT HIM MATING FACTS
Alana holy shit thats why i had a bloody tail in the bathtub Alana yes be like Alana the female praying mantis decours her mates head Alana real sexy
Arista you had a bloody tail? ew Arista also ew to the following
Ariel Did you know penguins mate for life? That'd be really cute to say
Attina no you don't understand i already told him about how starfish put their stomachs out of their bodies to eat
Andrina she shared with him that fact about starfish's digestive syst-- Andrina great minds
Alana perfect the praying mantis wont throw him off
Attina I TOLD HIM that he was kind of like a penguin
Andrina yeah he'll be like eat my head
Attina but saying they mate for life is er a little strong
Ariel SO IT'S THE PERFECT FACT
Andrina then youll be SEXTING
Alana that's sexy Alana eat my head
Ariel Don't eat his head
Attina im not going to SEXT im trying to get him to idk go to dinner
Arista nah boys don't like teeth
Ariel Oh! Oh!
Andrina facts about animals and food
Alana here's a wild idea
Andrina be like
Ariel text him about LOBSTERS!
Andrina did u know that animals, eat,
Alana "hey paul, do you want to get dinner?"
Ariel and then be like HEY SPEAKING OF LOBSTERS
Attina i can't do another sea creature that might be too obvious
Arista Oh oh oh, I like Lan's
Ariel and then ask him to go eat lobster Ariel which i might not approve of but
Attina what if i went for something totally innocent and left field like idk
Ariel or just ask him if he likes lobster! Ariel OH I KNOW
Attina a leopard only succeeds at 1 out of 7 hunting attempts lol bc then it's like me, trying to date,,
Ariel "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!"
Alana well at this point literally ANYTHING
Ariel that's classic!
Alana thats cute ^^
Arista Very cute I like it
Attina oh that is kind of cute
Andrina all of these are GREAT options
Ariel leopards must be hungry alot :C
Attina nah their kills last for a week
Alana then its time to move on
Arista yeah no... self-decapitation? self...dep... whatever that word is with the texting and being down on yourself with the leopard
Alana yeah don't self-decapitate, atty
Andrina self-decapitation is exactly the correct word
Ariel Oh okay
Attina ugh. Attina should i go with the polar bear one then? what do i say after that?
Ariel Self-deprication, guys. Come on.
Andrina well it would depend on what he says?
Ariel Don't listen to them, Arista
Alana well it depends on what HE SAYS
Ariel yeah you gotta see what that is
Arista Self-deprication. Cool. Got it. Thanks Ariel!
Attina okay let's do a mock version just imagine he says something even /better/ and /cuter/ back
Ariel No prob Ris! Ariel CAN I PLAY PAUL Ariel I'm an actress now. I can do it.
Alana what if asks for tit pics
Ariel Alana!!
Attina he's not gonna ask me for nudes alana i think we've already established he's a /gentleman/
Arista I'm sure Andrina has some lying around
Alana 'm just saying boys can surprise you
Ariel do NOT send nudes
Andrina oh yeah totally Andrina borrow my nudes
Attina also does anyone else wanna take a shot at being paul or is ariel it?
Alana yes andrina pass along the nudes
Andrina i'm just giving them away absolutely
Ariel pfft like the brown hair won't throw him off at all
Alana well ariels the only one whos like Alana directly interacted with him
Attina okay okay go then ariel
Andrina wait i wanna go next though
Ariel okay okay so where is my cool animal punch line that your totally awesome sister gave you Ariel give me something to go off here
Attina hey how much does a polar bear weigh? Attina wait Attina should i say the whole thing what if he knows Attina what if it's too cliche
Arista then its cute if he answers
Ariel omg if he knows and says it back that would be SO CUTE
Arista you guys are like the same person Arista something to laugh about
Alana ^^
Arista cliche's are a talking point
Attina what if he thinks it's lame bc everyone uses it
Alana then you can be self-decapitating
Attina honestly? yes.
Andrina ok this is taking forever
Ariel "Enough to break the ice, I'm guessing. Nice animal fact." Ariel SEE that would be CUTE
Attina then what do i say?? thank you???
Arista wait is that a fact? Do all polar bears weigh enough to like break ice?
Ariel Self-DEPRICATING Arisa
Andrina idk use your people skills Andrina say words
Attina with global warming, probably
Ariel yeah! say thank you! Ariel and then like Ariel something witty
Attina something witty. Attina do you even KNOW ME
Andrina just do the sun emoji and the guy with the shades Andrina do that several times
Alana just do it
Arista wait what why are we yelling SElf Depreciating at me
Andrina then say that thing about global warming
Ariel "I've got a ton of them up my sleeve. But I don't give them out to just anyone."
Alana because we look so much alike, ris
Ariel make it sound like he's special!
Andrina and then you're talking about global warming what topic could be HOTTER
Arista depreciating? deprecating?
Alana this is takign too long
Arista no we don't
Ariel DEPRICATING
Alana has left the conversation.
Attina wow ariel wtf how are you better at this than me that's not fair i've been alive much longer.
Ariel I dunno
Attina has added Alana to the conversation.
Ariel I try really hard Ariel I think too hard?
Arista You're so dramatic Alana why aren't you in the play
Ariel Maybe I'm not the best person to give advice
Attina whattt what do you mean
Alana spoiler alerts u dont have to try so hard
Attina things are good with you and dash aren't you???
Alana ur all hot
Andrina this really IS taking TOO LON G THOUGH
Ariel I haven't even been kissed yet okay I'm obviously doing SOMETHING wrong
Attina thanks, alana
Alana andrina can u steal attys phone
Arista Yeah, you're waiting for him
Attina also andrina i can't text him TONIGHT it's late, he's got babies
Alana and just do it
Andrina that's a really great plan Andrina attina ignore what was just said
Attina and it's okay ariel, it'll take time!!
Ariel Yeah don't wake him he needs sleep when the babies sleep Ariel UGH but I want to kiss him already :CC
Arista Then kiss him
Attina not to be hypocritical, but, you could kiss him!!
Alana how are you supposed to shag with the kids in the next room
Arista Idk that's what I did with Van
Alana kiss him!
Attina you both like each other, right??
Andrina very quietly Andrina duh
Ariel But what if he hasn't kissed me because he doesn't want to???
Arista he's a boy
Alana thats not fun, andrina
Andrina um if you make up a game that you're spies it is
Attina maybe he's just shy
Andrina gags Andrina duct tape
Alana ball gag Alana ok i see it
Alana atty, let's go to the sex shop
Andrina NO Andrina LETS TEXT Andrina THIS
Arista Oh can I come!
Andrina BOY
Alana YES
Ariel Woah I thought she's supposed to have sex with Paul! Ariel With condoms!
Alana to both lmao Alana oh ariel
Arista I definitely need new toys
Ariel What? Ariel Oh ew!!! You're talking about like... vibrators and stuff!!!
Attina IF we have sex it will not be for a /while/ okay he's got babies im sure he doesn't want to be serious with anyone until he knows them really well
Alana mhm
Ariel I don't need these images!!!!!
Alana andrina just take her bloody phone
Andrina SHE Andrina LOCKED Andrina HER
Arista is it with the bloody tail? why is there blood?
Andrina DOOR
Attina I did. Attina HE NEEDS to SLEEP
Alana how long have you been alive ris
Andrina i'm gonna climb up your fire escape you bitch
Alana and listening to people speak
Ariel Arista there is no bloody tail okay
Attina bloody like the curse word arista, darling
Ariel Everything is fine
Arista It's different over text. Inflation and stuff
Ariel Guuuuys Andrina can steal her phone in the morning
Andrina look, if he's a sensible guy, he has the phone on silent just DO IT
Attina also andrina i think you're not listening to the whole I'LL TEXT HIM TOMORROW AT A REASONABLE TIME Attina no i need to be considerate
Ariel Be considerate!
Andrina n o
Alana inflation
Ariel He's a good Daddy!
Alana oh yes get him to be your daddy, attina
Ariel We already have a Ariel OH NO GROSS Ariel ew ew weew ewwewew !!!
Alana youre catching on, i'm so proud
Attina alana stopppp that's my future maybe person im seeing you're talking about
Ariel I did a lot of research after texting him okay
Arista Wait we're getting more siblings?
Alana yes surprise
Andrina ok so can we all just agree that you are going to text him tomorrow can you put an alarm in your phone can you promise me to do this so we n e v e r have to d o this a g a i n
Arista ohhhh you meant Daddy as like Daddy Arista gotcha
Attina yes yes you can come watch me do it if you want andrina
Ariel You guys are gross
Alana send me snapchats Alana all of us Alana the asking in action
Ariel I want screencaps! Ariel NO NUDES!!!
Alana no nudes
Attina no one is sending nudes, ariel
Ariel Good
Alana ariel's still underage
Ariel Hey!
Arista Andrina we probably are gonna do it again. There are seven of us
Attina ^^
Andrina i mean this specific first-text-to-paul situation
Alana not all of us need to be coached
Attina well hopefully there will be no need for it
Ariel Don't let your dreams be dreams!!!
Alana when sending a text to Paul
Ariel Just do it!!!
Arista yeah but some Arista idk who knows
Andrina well arista is taken so that's one down
Attina i'm sure i'll need all of you to help me choose an outfit for our date but you can come over for that
Arista yeah paul's not my type
Ariel I'm taken... I think?
Attina i'll make martinis!!!
Andrina i will happily pick out an outfit with you
Ariel Are you taken if you've only gone on one date and it ended in punch being poured on your head?
Andrina that's how my first date went totally
Attina um have you hung out since then? have you DTRed
Alana have you talked since then???
Ariel well DUH
Attina at least it's memorable??
Alana ew dont say that atty it sounds weird when old people do it
Ariel we went to school and he's visited me at rehearsal!!
Arista ^^^
Attina im not THAT OLD
Ariel also what's dtr
Arista aw he visited you
Alana define the relationship
Attina defined the relationship y'know had the "i dont want to see other people" phase
Ariel OH Ariel no we have not
Alana lmao thats when i run Alana well just ask! Alana if you wanna
Ariel but he did say he's gonna take me on a surprise date
Andrina holla
Ariel and play me a song
Attina oh see, there you go!
Andrina one of THOSE
Ariel and I asked him what I should wear and he said I should just look nice, which I always do
Alana wow
Arista You need to record the song. So I can judge
Alana ask him to play wonderwall
Ariel HIS WORDS Ariel not mine ok
Attina ooo yes secretly record the song
Andrina wow show up in sweat pants, no make up
Attina that's so SWEET
Ariel OH i LOVE wonderwall!
Andrina subvert his expectations Andrina smash the patriarchy etc etc bla bla
Arista wonderwall is so cliche
Ariel NO i have to look GOOD
Attina wonderwall is a perfectly lovely song
Ariel i'll try to record it but i also just want to be in the moment, y'know?
Andrina you can look good in sweatpants
Attina ugh yeah i guess i understand
Alana yoga pants make any ass look great
Ariel and Wonderwall is not cliche :C
Arista yeah if wanna be bored to sleep and be like every other dude with a guitar
Alana ^^
Attina i think him playing her anything is lovely and sweet and thoughtful
Arista I have high musical expectations okay
Ariel I'm going to specifically ask him to play Wonderwall now Ariel because sccrew you guys Ariel THANK YOU Attina
Alana i was 100% not serious when i said that, i need you to know, ris
Attina xoxoxo
Ariel I think I'll wear a dress
Attina wow look at us triton girls going on dates and shit
Andrina wow don't generalize us
Arista I was almost shocked Lan, thought I knew you better. I do know you better tho
Ariel Lana, would you do my makeup?
Attina OH ARIEL IDEA
Alana yessss
Attina why don't we pick out outfits on the same night!!
Ariel Omg that would be so fun!!!
Ariel and thank you Lan!!!
Ariel: 😄 😄 😄
Attina i mean obviously im getting ahead of myself paul needs to say yes first there is a like one in seven chance remember--like a leopard
Arista I think Ariel bringing her whole closet to Attina's will be kinda time consuming
Ariel I won't bring all my clothes, just some options
Attina yes but we can DRINK at my house
Andrina i'll make the drinks thats my contribution
Ariel Oooh okay!
Alana i'll bring my stuff
Ariel Then I won't be so nervous! Ariel And maybe I /will/ kiss him!
Arista you should
Alana wow
Attina you'll have to tell us all about it!!
Alana thats so pure
Ariel Just don't let me get drunk okay
Arista unless he plays wonderwall
Alana will do
Ariel Aristaaaaa
Attina especially if he plays wonderwall 😉
Ariel 😉
Alana andrina what is your verdict on wonderwall
Attina and you get cut off after a drink and a half ariel
Ariel Okay, okay!
Attina and you have to spend the night
Ariel That sounds perfect anyway
Andrina i think wonderwall in the right context is perfectly ironic
Ariel Hey question
Andrina this doesn't sound like that context
Alana good
Ariel Where the heck is Aquata???
Alana what ariel Alana idk swim camp
Ariel Is she ignoring us???
Attina probably sLEEPINg like we should all be
Ariel OH
Alana training
Ariel Did she leave for swim camp already??
Arista Oh I stole her pillow again, so she's probably angry at everyone
Ariel That makes sense
Alana idkk
Ariel Why do you keep stealing her pillows??
Arista I don't notice that I do it. I just talk to her and the pillow ends up in my room. Idk she has so many idk why she misses one
Attina she's been doing that since they were little
Ariel I think that's like called something
Andrina also why would she be angry at all of us for your crimes
Ariel ummm
Arista because it found its way into Alana's room?
Attina yeah andrina and i dont even live there pfft
Alana she's just training or something idk Alana let her live her life
Attina well that /does/ means she's sleeping bc she actually wakes up at a decent time
Attina like i've got to. i've got /work/ tomorrow
Alana lol true
Andrina noon is a perfectly decent time
Attina unlike most of us
Andrina i have work
Attina is that when i should text paul then? noon?
Andrina do i have work Andrina hey attina,,,
Ariel Hey! I'm a student!
Alana yes
Arista Hey! I work. My gigs are just at night
Ariel This is my break time!
Alana i make money by batting my eyelashes
Attina that was mostly a shot at andrina xo
Andrina seriously do i have work Andrina am i working Andrina when am i working
Attina come in at noon
Ariel Wouldn't you know if you were?
Andrina so you can text paul
Attina yes.
Andrina got it Andrina look ariel, let ME live MY life
Attina don't forget or i wont' do it
Ariel I am! Ariel I'm just SAYING
Andrina that's putting a lot of pressure on me
Ariel Although I did almost miss rehearsal the other day, so I can't blame you for not knowing...
Alana wow
Attina yup my future happiness rests in your hands, dear sister
Arista dsakj
Attina ariel! how do you miss being /juliet/
Alana dont fuck up andrina
Andrina where have i heard that before lmao
Ariel I was distracted!!!
Alana by dashy poo?
Attina omg dashy poo
Ariel ew don't call him that that's gross Ariel his name is DASH
Arista Dashy-kins
Ariel and NO Ariel not that either guysss stoooop
Arista Dashanova
Attina sidenote: what kind of name is dash? i know his brother and his name is jack jack which im assuming is just a nickname for jack but dash????
Ariel He could be like THE ONE I don't want to be thinking of him as Dashy-poo ew
Andrina what kind of name is andrina
Alana man if i ever get a boyfriend ever im gonna give him the wORst nickname
Andrina there are some questions we'lll never answer
Ariel I think his full name is Dashiell! Ariel or something
Alana like the guy who wrote the maltese falcon?
Attina oh, that makes more sense
Ariel I'm not sure though
Attina well i don't know where you pulled that name from otherwise lolol
Arista why would someone write about a dog-bird
Ariel Did I show you guys all the snowglobe he got me???
Arista wait here's a dog-bird???
Alana its edgy, ris
Arista: there's**
Andrina don't crush someone's artistic vision
Attina he got you a snowglobe!! that's so cute!!!
Ariel [sends picture of snowglobe]
Ariel It plays music!
Alana cute
Arista does it bark or screech?
Attina awww that's perfect for you ariel
Ariel It's how he asked me to prom
Alana depends on its mood
Ariel He's like, the sweetest
Alana wow
Ariel AND HE HAS SUPER SPEED
Attina ohhhhh i think i remember you telling me that now
Ariel ISN'T THAT SO COOL
Andrina super,
Attina he's a magick then?
Alana double wow
Arista Not always the best in certain situations
Alana maybe he wont freak out with the tail thing
Ariel Yeah!
Ariel Um... maybe
Attina you're NOT telling him abotu the tail thing
Arista idk that might hurt, like being with a jackhammer
Ariel But yeah and he even saved someone once with it!
Alana but attina what if theyre in loooveee
Andrina like Andrina being Andrina with Andrina a jackhammer
Attina it's too much of a risk
Alana omfg
Arista your phone is doing the thing again Andrina
Attina that's for when you're /married/ and fully committed
Alana maybe he can vibrate his body really fast
Ariel Andrina stop!
Alana and concentrate that
Andrina wow Andrina im Andrina not
Ariel I'm not going to tell him
Andrina doing Andrina anything
Arista Wow idk then weird
Attina i know, ariel. it just--stresses me out when people JOKE ABOUT IT
Alana what if someone dumps you after
Ariel I wish I didn't have a secret TO keep from him
Alana and youve already PROFESSED your love
Attina that's why i said it's for /marriage/
Alana and theyre like wow u lied Alana this whole time Alana lmao
Attina well anyone who really loves you will understand
Arista so you wanna be trapped with someone who would dump u over a tail?
Andrina i feel like it goes first date, flash tits, mermaid secret exposed
Attina it's not like it's dangerous
Alana exactly
Attina exactly, arista. it's for our SAFETY
Alana to andy not atty
Ariel Daddy thinks it is
Attina all of ours
Alana well thats why you donT MARRY SOMEONE BEFORE THEY KNOW
Ariel But what does he know? He's just an angry old man
Alana tahts why im not getting married
Attina i mean, being a mermaid is dangerous. to us. not to anyone else. Attina we're not werewolves or vampires. but if people know they'll--you know.
Andrina bang bang
Ariel When I get married, it's going to be with someone that knows and loves me and won't make anyone keep any secrets, especially not our children.
Alana i mean some people still dont like fairies and sorcerers Alana lots of people also don't like lies
Attina thank you andrina. for putting it so eloquently.
Ariel But how do you know when to tel someone? That is like... ??????
Andrina what im here for boss
Alana idk like i said not my plan Alana im just messing with everyone
Andrina same i'm gonna marry like, a shark
Attina i know, ariel, it's hard, but--well, talk to us. talk to daddy.
Ariel If you wait too long they get MAD and then if you don't wait long enough they might not Ariel NO Ariel We will NOT talk to Daddy
Andrina or an eel Andrina or a jellyfish
Alana im gonna marry an octopus
Andrina maybe an eel-jellyfish hybrid
Attina once you've been dating someone for a while, daddy will come around
Andrina wow that's a good one thing of all the tentacles
Attina he knows we cant keep it a secret forever
Alana exactly
Ariel Pfft, suuuure he will
Attina he will. i know he will. he's just trying to keep us all safe.
Ariel Whatever
Alana shouldnt you be sleeping attina Alana big day tomorrow Alana texting a boy
Andrina ^^^
Attina yes yes true
Attina good night, love you!
Ariel good night! love you too!!
Arista nighty night
Andrina night losers
Alana ^^
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