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thepringlesofblood · 2 years

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Dimension 20 Campaigns Rated By The Amount Of Mice/Rats

(chronological order)

disclaimer: I have not seen Shriek Week, Dungeons and Drag Queens, or The Unsleeping City s2.

for all of these except the last, I command + F’d through their transcripts on the wiki for the terms “rat” “rats” “mice” “mouse” and “rodent” to find the relevant data.

the reason I didn’t do TUC s2 is a. from watching the first season I can intuit a similar level of mouse/rat content in this setting, if slightly lessened rat action due to the lack of a rat PC, and b. laziness. consider all of TUC under the same umbrella

i don’t know what’s wrong with me either.

Fantasy High - 7.5/10. the introduction of Sexy Rat into the d20 canon is iconic. we also have the rat that the sexy rat was created for - Edgar, Zayn Darkshadow’s cute lil plot-relevant pet rat. Not much mice/rat content outside of this, but a beautiful beginning.

Escape from Bloodkeep [update: I watched this while waiting for the fhjy finale, it’s fucking spectacular] - 1/10. aside from Erika Ishii occasionally saying “aw, rats,” there’s only one minor instance of rat action, this quote from Master Ipskix in ep 1 - “We're training little ants and beetles to carry little swords and sharp things, and crawl in, and you know when you get a rat to eat through someone's stomach and come to the other side, we're trying to cover the rats in spikes.” There is a nice moment of Sokhbarr and Leiland collaborating on rat enrichment, but overall the main “creepy” animals this season were spiders (fair) and J’er’em’ih

The Unsleeping City - 10000/10. rats every episode. rat PC. rat NPCs. MULTIPLE combat eps with not only rat swarms but a rat KING. impeccable. kugrash my belovéd. true rat positivity. rights for rats. the height of rat content in dimension 20.

Tiny Heist - 6/10. Solid rodent presence in the form of Tony Manchego, a mouse supporting NPC who is basically Boomer’s main coworker. Several other mice/rats also appear as Felix Flick henchmen (henchpeople?). Not a main focus, but decent background presence. I don’t recall any good/cool rats/mice though, they’re all goons of some kind.

A Crown of Candy - 0.5/10. in ep3 Brennan uses the phrase “Everyone thinks we're rats.” to explain political negotiations w the dairy isles. you know it’s rough when the only mention of rats is its use as a pejorative. the 0.5 is for the incredibly gratuitous cheese content. No actual mice, but that counts for something in my book. also Lapin is a bunny, which is another kind of rodent. This is the only possible framework in which ACOC could be described as “disappointing"

Dimension 20 Live aka Fantasy High: Sophomore Year - 6/10. The thrilling return of Sexy Rat. Sadly this is the only significant mouse/rat content this season, but what a banger!

Pirates of Leviathan - 9/10. Another excellent rat-person PC. Jack Brakkow is revolutionary. we love a grimy king. not much else in terms of mouse/rat content though, and Jack’s rattiness isn’t discussed as much as kugrash’s is. there is a character deadass named “Cheese” though.

Mice and Murder - 9.5/10 it’s in the title. No PCs though, surprisingly, which is the main reason this isn’t 10/10. they went more for diversity in animals with this one and tbh it works really well, but also means that despite the title, it’s really Fox and Racoon and Javelina and Weasel and Owl and Doberman Pinscher and Murder. The mice/rats they do have are dope though. Both of the McCabbages are vibrant and interesting, and of course Rosalind Crumb showing her ass is iconic. Thomas Gilfoyle is classic suspicious butler, Carolyn Dickory and Edwina Thimble wind up being extremely important, Molly Milton and Millie Molton are peak Brennan weird naming convention as well as a lesbian power couple, and there’s a variety of other Loam Hall staff that are mice (and they all have wild names like Tessa Teapot and Alfred Honeyhatch). I know that moles aren’t mice/rats, but shoutout to Mrs. Molesly, a real one start to finish.

Misfits and Magic - 7/10. this probably shouldn’t be as high as it is, but I am incapable of not ranking mismag as high as possible, it is what got me into dimension 20 and I LOVE it. K’s amazing cinderella scene at the end is one of the highlights of the series, and they also use mice/rats as surveillance sometimes. Theodore is a chipmunk, not a mouse/rat, but still points for other prominent rodentia. the K fucked-up-disney-princess stuff only has mice/rats a few times, but it’s just so iconic.

The Seven - 0/10. Absolutely zero mouse/rat content. Rip. They went hard on horse girl content (respect), so it makes sense that there was less room for mice/rats. again, the only measurement by which this series could be considered a disappointment, I fuckin love the seven.

Shriek Week - 0.5/10. A “rat man” is mentioned briefly as a one-off gag. Exhilarating. occasionally, the clicking of a computer mouse is inserted as a sound effect.

A Starstruck Odyssey - 2/10. in Ep. 12, there is discussion of “skiff rats” and rat poison that makes your head explode. This is a very important memory from Skipper’s past, but the emphasis is on the rat poison, and on the consequences of the mass poisoning, not really on the rats themselves. in Ep. 11, when describing a room Brennan says “The walls piled high…with bright blue animatronic mouse heads with the eyes torn out” however this is the only mention of them in the episode. There is one mention to the concept of a computer mouse (Ep. 10), and on several occasions, the sound of a computer mouse clicking can be heard as a sound effect.

Coffin Run - 5/10. in the finale, rat swarms try to eat Dracula. A thrilling moment. other than that, in Ep. 1 we have the quote, “This letter then goes across the ocean in a rat-infested ship”, and in Ep. 5 wetzel accidentally eats some rat poison. highlighted quote: “If we connect all the rats together, can we get a rat king?”

A Court of Fey and Flowers - 0.25/10. in Ep. 4 Mickey Mouse is mentioned, in the context of Hob’s state of dress - “You're either a Donald Duck or a Mickey Mouse” - Oscar Montoya. It’s 0.25 because fuck disney. bit of a missed opportunity, mice can typically fall into the “cute woodland creatures that live in/around fairies” category, and there were so many mentions of trash this season, I was really hoping we’d get some rat action. lacking that, I was hoping a salt goblin would be described as being the size of a mouse, but no such luck. rip. Again, the only disappointing aspect of this campaign, ruehob aka battlemaster of ceremonies is one of the only happy positive romances I’ve seen with a nonbinary person and as an enby myself, the idea that a brennan lee mulligan character could find someone like me attractive is. very validating.

Neverafter - ?/10. it’s not done yet (post written 12/28/22), but things are looking promising so far! we’ve had several mouse swarms, and a whole miniature town of mouse NPCs, plus many descriptions of pib eating mice. if a similar level of mouse/rat content continues, I project a 7.5/10 at the very least

UPDATE: final rating for Neverafter - 8/10. nothing ever managed to match the chaotic rodent energy of earlier episodes, but still a very solid showing. Rosamund’s swarm is a fairly consistent source of rats/mice, though she more often calls upon her “little birds,” and Pib continues to eat mice on occasion. We did have several later season mouse appearances; Aesop has the famous lion and the mouse, and the Land of Beasts is mentioned as being full of mice (among other animals). The Mouse King (from the Nutcracker) appears on the list of the Council of Kings (after being described briefly in Herr Drosselmeyer’s memories in one of the very first episodes). The song “Three Blind Mice” is mentioned several times, with Ylfa saying it is her “favorite story”. Tom Thumb mentions that he “hang(s) around with a lot of mice.” We learn that Pib turned an ogre into a mouse in his backstory. Other prominent rodentia do appear, most notably Pib’s fellow trickster, the Rabbit. Overall, a lot of excellent mouse content early on, with a handful of smaller appearances in the mid to late season.

UPDATE: The Ravening War - 0/10 Not a mouse or rat to be seen, not even a mention. and unlike ACOC, there are no other prominent rodentia to save them. Lady Amangeaux is described as “Jessica Rabbit as a mango” but given than not even Jessica Rabbit is a rabbit, I do not count this. considering the amount of times rot and mold are mentioned, I was hoping a rat might skitter away from a pile of garbage at some point. no such luck. the only point that I would even consider as related to mice/rats would be the amount of cheese content, as we have both a cheese person PC (in this house we love Colin Provolone) and a semi-prominent cheese person antagonist. however, I would say this averages out to considerably less cheese content than ACOC, which has several cheese person NPCs, including lesbian icon Annabelle Cheddar, Manta Ray Jack, Sir Morris Brie, and prominent antagonist Stilton Curdeau, plus a whole battle with ships made of cheese, plus a whole battle with cheese people (though dressed as meat people) as primary antagonists. thus, I cannot in good conscience award TRW any points for that when it made up only a portion of ACOC’s 0.5 of a point. I greatly enjoyed TRW, but not for mice/rat reasons.

UPDATE: Dungeons & Drag Queens, Mentopolis, and the promising beginnings of Burrow’s End

DNDQ - 0/10. No mention of mice or rats. honorable mention to Alvin, a chipmunk who I would call a semi-prominent rodent. I only watched half of the 1st ep* but my usual command + F of the transcripts yielded no results.

*no shade to the queens, this season just didn’t work for me specifically, I have a thing where when I know the rules to something watching people learn them/not know them is like. chalkboard screech. it’s the autism I think. so as much as I love the queens & their characters I just couldn’t watch the actual show.

Mentopolis - 0/10 understandable as canonically the only animal in Mentopolis is Justin. in absence of any mouse/rat characters, I was hoping for perhaps a mouse/rat fact from The Fix, but i really can’t complain about the myriad of animal facts in this season in good conscience. they were many and varied and I am very grateful. still no mice/rats though. Birds, snakes, and their “prey” are discussed, which mice can certainly be. For example, the heat pits on a python’s lips that Ronnie mentions can be used to detect warm-blooded animals like mice, rats, and other small rodents. But as no rodent is directly mentioned it will not be counted. perhaps next time a reptile eating a mouse will be mentioned, or one of my fave rodent factoids, “a mouse’s heartbeat is so fast that to the human ear it just sounds like buzzing,” will be included.

Burrow’s End - ?/10 I have high hopes but did you know that stoats are actually not rodents??? neither are badgers, otters, wolverines, or pine martens. rodents are all vegetarian - they’re (obvs) in the order Rodentia, so they can’t be in the order Carnivora. so far we have strong chipmunk presence (that’s 3 campaigns with important chipmunks!), and a variety of “woodland animals”, so I remain optimistic.

UPDATE: final score for Burrow’s End - 1.5/10. frankly appalling lack of mice & rats given the setting. occasionally (as in 2-3 times in the series) a mouse or rat will be mentioned in passing, but the only rodents the gang actually interact with are rabbits and chipmunks. I’m guessing that’s probably bc stoats are specifically known for hunting rabbits, so mice/rats would be too small of a prey animal for them? plus the watership down allusions. and then of course we have the horrifying chipmunk/bear battle. credit for the few rat mentions and rodent presence in general, but this isn’t the rodent post, it’s the mice and rats post.

Fantasy High: Junior Year - ?/10 I am terrified. there’s a set of antagonists called the Rat Grinders. well, at least we know there will be rats! Zayn also reappears and with him a mention of Edgar the rat, a fantastic character. potentially...could there even be mention of the original, iconic, sexy rat? we shall see!

UPDATE (5/29/24): final score for FHJY - 8.99/10 fucking spectacular. not only do we get multiple mentions and a partial reappearance of the OG icon, Sexy Rat, but we get the Rat-ettes, the Rat Grinders, Rat World, and as hoped for, the return of Edgar, the originator of this whole proud Dimension 20 tradition of plot-relevant rats! He even gets a ghostly little miniature in the “Baron’s Game” battle! Fabian is also gifted (and makes frequent use of) the Pipes of the Sewers, an item which summons rats. The combo of this item and Fig’s Mask of Animal Friendship leads to several instances of rat-summoning both in and out of in combat, the likes of which have not been seen in years. One of the most unhinged and transcendent moments of the season, the Rat-ettes showing hole, led to the uncovering of the ancient name Ankarna, kicking off both a fucking excellent mid-season finale as well the central plot of the rest of the season. The rat swarm minis in The Last Stand & Ragenarok pt 1 truly brought me back to the glory days of The Unsleeping City. The only thing keeping this season from a 9/10 is lack of mouse/rat PCs or major NPCS, which all of our 9/10+ seasons have had thus far. Much as I adore Edgar, I would categorize him as a supporting NPC this season rather than a major one. The Rat Grinders definitely add to this season’s score, but as none of them are actually rats, I can’t count them as rat NPCs. Easily the height of Fantasy High rat content, and that’s saying something. We’ve been in a bit of a drought lately, but FHJY truly delivered.

I would like to give credit to a post I read many years ago that I realize may have given me inspiration to make whatever this is: harry potter rated by mentions of swans.

don’t ask

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lale-txt · 3 years

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🍆 online dating headcanons: supernovas

[part 1 w/ Whitebeard pirates]

a/n: i have too much fun roasting your favorite little crime men, so here's part 2! and don't worry, there probably will be a sequel to that, too...

Luffy

this boy has the dating profile of a 67 year old man

it's mostly photos of cool bugs

or him holding the cool bugs, covering half of his face with them (some look a bit arty by accident because they're so blurry bc this boi is fast af when he is excited for something)

i feel like he is someone who overuses emojis A LOT and out of context too. they almost sound cryptic

🦔🧦🤼🔑👁‍🗨🟧🏴‍☠️

WHAT DOES IT MEAN BRO

you'll never know

he doesn't know either

you can keep the conversation going by mentioning that you're a foodie and like some good meat

wink wink

but don't complain if he takes you out to an all you can eat restaurant and the thing getting eaten is everything except you

Zoro

your typical fitness bro

all of his pictures are just mirror selfies from the gym wtf

granted, he knows his good angles

start the conversation maybe with a good recipe for a protein shake? idk i have not once in my life matched a fitness bro so don't take my advice maybe

if you start texting, expect a lot of thirst traps straight from the gym, lots of sweat, a shirt pulled up a bit to show off his 16-pack or whatever (if he even bothers to wear a shirt), a photo from behind to show that his back is very beefy too

but don't be fooled because he will sent them to his whole contact list and his fitness account with 500k followers

you just know he has "no PAINZ no GAINZ 💯" in his bio

so take that to your heart and text him anyway even though it's a pain in the ass, it will be rewarding in the end

if you're looking for a fuck buddy this is your mans

Law

his photos just scream dark academia. they also scream "i'm your thoughtful mystery lover with the sexy finger tattoos" and also "please heal my broken heart while we listen to Evanescence together"

but in reality he is just very tired and people mistake it for a lifestyle

Bepo takes all of his photos and edits them, he has a really good eye

one photo is the doctor posing naked in front of a chimney fire on a bear rug (it's not a regular bear rug but Bepo who is very good at photoshop)

it wasn't even Law himself who created his online dating profile but Penguin & Shachi because they agreed their captain needed a bit of support in those things, Law was just too tired to object (and maybe they were right after all...)

he's a busy man and you need a really good hook up line to make him text you back

"i think you've stolen my heart, give it back" isn't one of them

talk to him about gross medical things maybe or how much you hate bread (even if it's a lie)

just don't try sexting with him because you will get a lot of anatomical terms and a very long paragraph that sounded sexy in his head but reads like an user manual

overall a very nice match if you're into emo boys with tragic backstories that just have written "fix me if you can" all over their face

Kid

ahh yes, the little kinky man

of course you can find him on the naughty online dating sites where you can look for your next fuck buddy, pet or a sugar mommy/daddy/questionable parental figure

his photos are thirst traps of course, half of them mirror selfies with flash on

doesn't care about censoring, his junk is OUT, why hide it

will text you "wyd?" and "send nudes" within two seconds

foolish of you to think that one nude with a tiddie out would satisfy him, this little racoon is greedy af

just know that at one point he accidentally created a group chat with all of his matches, believing he would message them "i'm so hard for u" individually

he never recovered from that

Kid gets matched by mean lesbians A LOT (no wonder, he looks like one too)

it happens so often that he pulls Killer to the side, asking with a stern look on his face: "be honest. is there anything about my appearance that screams 'i want to get pegged' because apparently people feel that way about me"

Killer thinks a little bit too long and almost gets thrown overboard

Killer

the mysterious masked man

usually one would barely get matches without their face revealed, but it's probably his luscious long blonde hair and all the shirtless photos that give him countless matches anyway

who doesn't love a faceless ideal fantasy to project their deepest desires on, isn't that what dating apps were created in the first place

just never jokingly ask what's underneath the mask or else you'll get unmatched immediately

maybe ask him about his hair routine or favorite pasta place in town instead

or his favorite youtube channel Pasta Grannies

he would be the best to have long, meaningful conversations with on the dating apps

until he deletes his profile out of the blue, leaving you wondering forever 'what if...'

that is until you match him again

and again

yes again

he's a serial matcher

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