#sgnseungjun

[sgnhyunjae]

can you see my heart?

he’s used to pushing himself out of his comfort zone, has been trained to take on anything and everything no matter how difficult it seems. there’s a routine he has to follow, and if he fails—well, he can’t fail. he knows his own limits, knows that he can’t confine himself within those limits, no matter the sweat and tears. that’s how his life has been like, it’s what he has been taught ever since he opened his eyes to the world.

but sometimes... he’s just tired.

there’s a series of messages he knows he should look at, but it’s all the same. that he should be better, that it’s not enough, that he could do more. everything should be perfect, hyunjae should be perfect. he’s already sweating, he’s out of breath, his clothes are drenched and the practice room is becoming more suffocating as the clock continues to tick. his water bottle is already empty, but it’s still not enough.

another message comes through, and hyunjae knows better than to ignore his mother for this long. he finally picks up his phone, the barrage of notifications makes his breath hitch—but there’s a few messages that caught his attention, and it wasn’t from his mother.

(  ✉  )     incoming   →   koala  !

received: omg hyung!!! received: hyung i saw the cutest puppy when i was walking 🥺 received: it was white and fluffy and so small!!! and i tried to pet it!!! received: and when i did i looked up and saw someone sitting on a tree 😨

there’s a smile ghosting his lips, warmth settling under his skin. there’s a skip of his heartbeat, but it isn’t unpleasant. all so suddenly, he’s overcome with the desire to see ( @sgnseungjun ), even if he’s a sweaty mess, his hair flopping over his eyes. hyunjae already started typing before he could stop himself, deciding not to deny himself seungjun’s presence. not today.

(  ✉  )     outgoing   →   koala  !

sent: pictures or it didn’t happen sent: also unsent: i really need to see you sent: can we meet up? i’m in the practice room

he’s not sure whether seungjun would accept his sudden invitation. hyunjae doesn’t have anything planned, doesn’t know what they should do together, just that he needs to be by seungjun’s side.

[sgnhyuk]

parallel

     fashion has always been a sort of refuge for him. when he was stressed in high school over his major and the restaurant chain he was supposed to take over, fashion was his outlet. and after the whole fiasco last christmas, fashion became a safe place for him once again. so, being the vice president of the fashion club was just somewhat fitting for him. 

     he enjoys being able to cultivate creativity in others—whether the members were planning to pursue a career in fashion or just enjoyed it as a side hobby or just wanted to improve (?) their fashion choices or expand on it and try to step out of their comfort zone or push gender boundaries—and it’s what he thinks is the funnest part of the club in general. 

     a few of the newer members have been showing a lot of potential of being good designers in the future, and he approaches one ( @sgnseungjun ), just enough to peer over his shoulder at some sketches. 

     designs? a broad display of drawings and whatnot of necklaces and jewelry. 

     “these are nice,” hyuk comments quietly, so as not to startle the younger with his appearance—he walks very quietly and has scared a lot of his friends by appearing behind them. (though, he has to admit, a lot of those times are on purpose.) “are you planning to do anything with them in the future?”

[sgntaeho]

❱❭ *super rich kids

{ ft. @sgnseungjun }

rich kids are a different breed -- and the rich kids at seongnam aren’t just your typical rich. they’re super rich, a class of their own. in all honesty, taeho probably doesn’t deserve to be talking with the ultra cushy parents he was born to either... but at least he doesn’t do anything too exorbitant or outlandish. really, with some of the bullshit some of his peers indulge in, you’d think the number of zeros in daddy’s net worth rewrites the entire concept of common sense. prime example number one: at least he doesn’t have a fucking bodyguard doing rounds outside his college dorm room. 

at first, he thought it was so unnecessary and extra that he found it kinda funny. like was this some obsessive mother’s way of trying to ground her baby boy who’s gone off to college? but days, weeks, months past and the entourage is still there. well, let’s just say that having to pass by the scorning gaze of big ass dude in suit and shades gets old real quick, especially when he’s half-wittedly scrambling out the door for class in the morning. or rolling out in sweats and a serious case of bed head to meet the food delivery guy in the lobby. or stumbling back wasted and gone at 3am, with or without a ‘guest’ for the night. 

point being, he could really do without running into a bulky man surveilling his every move on the commute to and from his own room. i mean, it’s a freaking college dorm. will he make an utter fool out of himself every now and then? of course. but would he break in and murder the occupant of the room at the end of the hall? hell no. so why are they here?! anyways, today is the final straw. the guard today is taking up half the hallway, and taeho nearly trips over his big foot. “excuse me,” he bemoans with dripping sarcasm before stopping at the guarded door for the first time. before the guard can stop him, he steps aggressively forward, rapping on the door with a few sharp knocks. “hello?! anyone home?”

[sgnjongin]

boa constrictors

@sgnseungjun

“jongin, don’t,” his mother pleads with him, low under her breath like a secret, as though she’s never begged before, as though she’s never fallen to her knees, to her hands, bending down like the floorboards of their home were trying to eat her alive. she whispers it like it’s just another one of his scandals, her wayward son trapped in the aesthetics of decadence despite all the time and effort she-- never put into fixing him. but of course, she thinks she’s done so much, she thinks he owes her so much and this shouldn’t be such a point of contention between them, between her and him and his father.

mr. kim does nothing but glare, his eyes dark and challenging, because he already knows that jongin is a wretch and has made up his mind about this. plus, for someone like him, every move can be countered, in time.

jongin turns around and walks away from them both, a glass of chardonnay in his fingers, the party music violins streaming softly into the air as the gala fills precariously but tastefully with people. he winds his way through them all, heading exactly where his mother wished he would not go, feeling both his parents’ eyes on him as he crosses the room and heads towards the younger brother of the wolfbane president, similar in age and circumstance to himself, yet opposite in at least one major difference. seungjun is cushioned in love.

jongin slides his arm around the other male’s shoulder the way a boa constrictor would slip into place, fitting the crook of his elbow around the boy’s neck playfully, and grinning widely at him. “seungjunnnnn, i didn’t expect to see you here.” he glances back over his shoulder at his father, who is burning internally as he sips his drink, and smiles at him too, but only for a second. “is your brother here? could he be convinced to party a little tonight?”

[sgnhyunjae]

find you

surrounded by ornaments, beautiful adornments that seem to come straight out of the sky, a grand illusion wherever you walked, it’d be easy for anyone to lose themselves to the atmosphere of the event—to dance with strangers, to mingle with the masked crowd that keeps growing. but not hyunjae, he came here with a clear purpose. among the herd of elegant suits, bewitching gowns and glamorous masks, his eyes search for bright blond hair and a dimpled smile. even if the latter is wholly covered, he’ll know it when he sees it.

no matter where, no matter when, i’ll find you.

it’s a silly little bet, seeing who can find the other first, but it gave hyunjae something to prove. even if somehow, some way, his eyesight fails him one day—like a miracle, he’ll gravitate towards ( @sgnseungjun ). and it doesn’t take very long, the sweet crinkle of the younger’s familiar laugh reaches his ears soon enough. a melody to his ears that he instantly recognises, driving his feet to move towards the source. but, he stops.

and it wasn’t because he was wrong.

the couple before him shined brighter than any of the decorations on the wall, fitted together perfectly, as if they were meant to be. for a moment, hyunjae felt blinded. by what, he doesn’t know, but he turns his head all the same. he can’t bring himself to intercept—he doesn’t belong there, he’s not fitted to be by seungjun’s side. suddenly, he can’t approach the other, it feels wrong. seungjun glimmers like a star, and hyunjae? he’s the darkness whose very existence threatens to devour anything that twinkles. seungjun is meant to shine like this, next to someone who glows just the same.

so, hyunjae remains rooted where he stood, lets the other guests crowd around him, shielding seungjun from his view.

i found you—but was i meant to?

[sgnhyunjae]

✉︎ 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 … ❪ 안현재 ❫

••• sent › hyung!!! ••• sent › hey hey hey hyung guess what???? ••• sent › 

(  ✉  )     outgoing   →   koala  !

sent: did you… sent: dye your hair? sent: when??? sent: you look really sent: cute. really sent: wait… was i the first person you sent a selfie to with your dyed hair?

[sgnhyunjae]

a box, neatly wrapped in dark red paper with a brighter red bow tied around it, sits in front of hyunjae’s door unassumingly. inside the box, there’s a nest of holographic shredded packaging paper, glinting and catching the light, an unassuming package wrapped in pink clothing tissue paper sitting in the middle.

inside that package are a set of three chokers in various styles: a medium black one with a small circular pendant dangling from it, a thinner black one with a rectangular pendant, and a thicker one with buckles on it. 

there’s also an envelope with a card inside, that reads:

hyunjae hyung,

happy happy birthday!! i’ll see you later for your birthday anyways, but i wanted to make sure that you got this gift at the beginning of the day. i hope you like them! i made them myself, this time. 

thank you for being my friend. i really love having you in my life, and i’m so glad we met in yoga club! let’s share a lot of birthdays together in the future, hyung! 

love, seungjun

birthdays.

hyunjae normally doesn’t particularly care about the day he was born. it’s a reminder that he continues to age, that time keeps flowing yet he’s always stuck in the same place—under his mother’s shadow. there’s no celebration to be had today, the most he’ll get is his mother reminding him that his age is catching up to him. soon enough, he’ll be forgotten. if he doesn’t work harder, he’ll slip under the cracks, he’ll never be good enough. he can’t lose his youth, there’s only so much make up can do to hide the wrinkles.

he’s ready to start his day as he always does, pushing himself past his limits regardless of the consequences. the creeping reminder that he’s a year older only makes him more determined to get a lot more done, to prove that he’s still young, he can take it. hyunjae doesn’t get very far before his feet accidentally knocks against a package, and he blinks. he was certain that wasn’t there before.

briefly, he wonders if it was meant for his roommate. hyunjae hadn’t ordered anything. he has half a mind to just throw the package inside and let bin deal with it, but there’s a small part of himself that’s compelling him to open the box. so, he does.

what he sees first are the chokers, carefully packaged that he doesn’t feel like he should touch them. upon further inspection, he spots an envelope inside. figuring that it’ll give him the answers he needed regarding this mysterious package, he opens the envelope and reads it.

hyunjae could figure out who wrote the letter from the first words he read—hyunjae hyung.

it’s strange. hyunjae normally doesn’t particularly care for birthdays, and yet, there’s an overwhelming warmth that fills his chest. there’s a smile on his lips that only seungjun can put on, even if it’s in the form of a letter and a gift. he doesn’t care about birthdays, but maybe, today will be a little brighter because of lee seungjun.

(  ✉  )     outgoing   →   koala  !

sent: did you make your bodyguard drop this off at my doorstep? sent: [photo of package, opened] sent: seemed like a suspicious package… you’re lucky i opened it at all instead of leaving it to the clean up crew sent: ………thank you, seungjun sent: today is better because of you unsent: everyday seems to be better because of you sent: try and guess which one i’ll be wearing today