#shame kitty pryde was in these movies so little

[aaronymous999]

I’m sure this has been talked about to death but the third X-Men movie ( I believe it’s The Last Stand-? ) is such a blatant disability metaphor to me especially with the talks about “curing”. Some of the conversations are directly what I’d expect to hear from this discussion and it’s kinda interesting.

For example, characters like Storm insists that there’s nothing to cure, but characters like Rogue who have a mutation that makes it very hard for her to live has a different outlook. I really like how the movie makes it clear that it was her choice and she wasn’t just doing it for Bobby by the way. To me this storyline does not work with a racial, jewish or LGBTQ metaphor, and if you assigned those metaphors to this storyline it would make zero sense. I think the X-Men are more than a racial metaphor like some assume and I think honestly the metaphor changes depending on the storyline. I think most often it’s a Jewish and racial metaphor, but sometimes it’s a disability or LGBTQ metaphor and I enjoy the variation :3

Also not saying this is the best way this storyline could be handled the way it was written just reminds me of conversations I’ve seen before, this is your friendly reminder that a lot of disabled people don’t want a “cure” and have been living the way they have for so long that it would actually be detrimental to suddenly change to a different way of living! Some disabled people would like a hypothetical “cure” and some don’t and both of those are okay! Generally though the idea that ALL disabled people want “cures” is very prevalent in media and it’s kinda annoying which is why in writing advice you often see that you shouldn’t “cure” your disabled characters.

To clarify I’m not disabled- ( physically at least- technically mentally but it doesn’t impair my life enough that I’m comfortable calling it a disability, that’s me personally though however someone wants to label themselves is up to them! ) and this opinion will forever be bare bones until I hear the opinion of a disabled person and their thoughts on the matter. I think this movie didn’t actually handle it as poorly as they could of, because unlike other media it’s a complex issue. Mutants against the “cure” are very right in a lot of ways and the government is certainly being predatory here, but the Mutants on the other side of the coin do have a point for them personally. Because for a lot of them, as seen in the comics, mutations can literally be life or death and ruin all their relationships because y’know. They kill the people they touch. But there’s also more complex things in between here, like Angel being forced a “cure” and having non-mutants speak for his needs. And I imagine there’s also mutants who want a cure solely to be accepted by society. Lots of little interesting things in here, and to a lot of Mutants this could also be seen as straight up genocide, which may seem odd for me to bring up but in the perspective of a character like Storm, the government views Mutants as a DISEASE. And wants all of them to no longer be mutants, which could also be seen as a jewish metaphor as well. Just in this case they aren’t killing mutants, they’re removing a core aspect of them. It’s just a muddled issue in this movie because some mutants legitmately want the “cure” while others view it as drastic as genocide.

Idk it’s just an interesting movie viewed on a metaphorical lense, I’ve always been interested in minority metaphors and issues because well I am a few of them lmao- so this movie had a lot for me to chew on! If I’ve gotten anything wrong though please correct me! My mind is always open! :D

( Also want to clarify that again not disabled- the X-Men franchise is not very good with disability representation as it is so take this with a bucket of salt. Charles Xavier in particular, at least from the opinions I’ve seen online is often a genius wheelchair user stereotype to a lot of people- and also he’s NEVER played by an actual wheelchair user or physically disabled actor. Not all characters need to be played by an actor that shares part of their identity but here it’s kind of annoying because wheelchair users are NEVER played by wheelchair users and Charles Xavier is arguably one of the most iconic wheelchair users in fiction. Also Magneto is never played by a jewish man which BOTHERS ME SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA… )

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/13/2024

i think i'm going to take a break from scifi written by men for a bit

listening

Ahmed Malek's Les Vacances de L'inspecteur Tahar, from the 1972 film of the same name.

if i can be really really real for a minute here the only thing i've listened to more than twice this week is GUESS by charli xcx but i don't want to have the same tuesdaysong twice in a row. this would make for an annoying end of year playlist.

i got an ad for a collected set of Ahmed Malek's Algerian jazz music on instagram. a session musician in Algiers, he made his name as a soundtrack composer with this comedic detective movie and was in demand for the rest of his life-- he's still really beloved in the African jazz scene, his works are super collectible, and his daughter gifted all his masters to a tiny record company so they could rerelease and preserve them.

it sounds exactly how you think a 70s cop movie should sound. impeccable example of the genre. instantly evocative. i wonder if it influenced the wider cop drama soundscape or if it's just an early example?

-

reading

many books disappointed me a great deal this week.

thank you philip.

the only comic i did like was Marauders (2019-2022), trying to get a little bit more into the xmen since my bestie has decided we're watching all their movies. this is really fun bc i knew who kitty pryde was, and she's a privateer captain who looks beat to shit the whole book. extremely fun and gay and swashbuckling, i placed holds for the other volumes already.

the two rogue and gambit books assumed i knew more about those characters than i already did, and had a heavy reliance on flashbacks and references to other issues.

the magic order was insufferable and did not stick its landing. made me worry about the characters and then feel really fucking stupid for worrying about the characters. i don't know why i keep trying mark millar books and thinking i will like them.

HOTELITOR had a very fun concept (mech hotel), but was a little more middle-grade than i was expecting, even from a teen book. very calarts visual style. very power of friendship will undo an evil corporation, which, i wish.

this little mermaid manga was not for me. and that's fine. most manga isn't for me.

we have to take a brief detour into how i store my books (poorly). these big middle shelves hold an unsorted mass, mostly of stuff i'm not sure i want to keep. i'm trying to be more thoughtful about which books i keep bc realistically i do not reread very often (if at all) and i am running out of space. as much as i love weird little scifi and fantasy paperbacks it would be cool if they all fit on one shelf.

here are four books i rapidly cycled through this weekend that are going to be donated.

Michael Moorcock's The Black Corridor, 1969, about a man slowly going insane in a spaceship fleeing a politically violent Earth with his friends and relations in cryosleep. not a very beloved Moorcock book among the Moorcock fans. this has a heavy focus on the rise of British fascism and i'm not now, nor will i ever be, in the mood for this. a shame bc this slim hardcover has proportions that were very nice to hold.

Thomas Burnett Swan's Where is the Bird of Fire?, 1970, three not quite short stories but not quite novellas about mythical creatures at the founding of Rome, Xerxes the Great's empire, and Britain near the fall of Rome. states very clearly exactly what it is on the tin and delivers it, unfortunately i don’t like any of the flavors on offer. every single one of these has the half-coy kind of sex scene common in historical fiction, where in order to represent the past accurately and with full verisimilitude we Must convey that they fucked nasty and had fun doing it. many times. unfortunately a middle aged man wrote these and our erotic sensibilities are Very far apart.

Glen Cook's Cold Copper Tears, 1988, a noirish urban fantasy. there are fourteen books in this series so clearly people like them. i found a lot of the Noir Similes a little tortured. "but kay isn't that the point--" yes but these annoyed me. also there's a rape joke i didn't enjoy on the fourth fucking page. i have very few hard outs in fiction and one of them is on-screen or on-page sexual assault or rape jokes in chapter one. i am slightly less likely to drop a book if it has rape jokes in chapters that are not the first but like. it’s still almost a flat line at 100%.

and the only one i got two-thirds of the way through, and which i partially liveblogged here,

Eric Kotani and John Maddox Robert's Between the Stars, 1988, the third in their Island Worlds series. it stands alone fairly well, which is impressive.

this book is good at differentiating a very large, very clannish cast, which is a hard thing to do in a political opera. people are often differentiated by little physical movement quirks, which a spy later uses to identify someone. it’s a lovely bit of business and definitely the authors’ strong points.

also props for two of the most capable people, an ill-liked matriarch/scientific genius and a femme fatale Russian, for being two of the most interesting characters with the most screen time, both on their own and in other character’s thoughts. unfortunately, with such a large cast and so many factions, the action is often split and meandering. racist in the very specific orientalist way cyberpunk eighties fiction often is, but uncommonly, they remembered Turkey existed and included in the orientalism?

severely suffered from a second act where it tripped over its own feet a lot instead of continued forward motion, quite honestly i got bored and tired of being hit over the head with various points. a very whedonesque quality of needing to comment on the political implication of something the instant after it happens.

this is not a subtle book, and it smacks less of an urgency to get a point across in as few words as possible and more an uncertainty in the authors of getting their point across at all. this is confusing to me bc this was their fourth book together and the third in this series. have some more confidence in your writing abilities. like, if you've already established your baddie as a fascist torturer who literally owns slaves and plans on taking over earth, you don't need to have him also say "Hitler was much-maligned" at a dinner party he's holding in a room full of hunting trophies where the only things on the table are red wine and whole game birds. you've more than established him as evil. the whole book is like this. it's exhausting.

not a book for me! many such cases!

-

watching

my brother was really singing the praises of vampire hunter d's animation and i was like, postapoc roaming vampire bounty hunter? say less! im already getting in!

i watched the 1980s version with some bemusement until he was like "why did you watch that and not the 2000 version." well that would have been so cool of you to be more specific, my boy!!! vampire hunter d (1985, dir. Toyoo Ashida) was still fun but clearly had way less of a budget than Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust (2000, dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri)

i enjoyed bloodlust a little more bc it had a postapoc style i enjoyed a little more: showed me big manta rays that hide under the sand, big ruined radio dishes, and lots of beautifully ruined skyscrapers and fucked up highway overpasses. every time you see me post about a BIG!!! FUCKING!!! DISH!!! you should hear this schoolchildren "YAAAAAY!" sample from Jet Set Radio

-

playing

nothing much to report, a lot of grindy genshin impact shit as i try to clear all my map markers before the new nation drops at the end of the month.

-

making

the girls have three litter boxes available to them (laundry room/spare bathroom/utility closet), all in the correct and recommended locations, all with good sightlines and escape routes and all out of the main hustle and bustle of the apartment, all open top, all with the same kind of litter and the same kind of litter mat. they only use the one in my laundry room. since phil has had free roam of the house she has not used the one in the office bathroom. i asked my vet about this and sent her pictures to make sure i was doing everything right and the diagnosis was "yeah that's a little weird of them". can we spread the wear and tear out a little more, girls? so i don't have to deep clean the same litterbox every week?

[verdantflamingo]

7. day - underrated character(s)

Hmm. All? Except for Jean? At least as far as movies, series, etc.? 

Well, okay, that's not really true. Raven has a big role, taking over from Wolverine in the movies. Storm, Jubilee, Rogue, Kitty will establish themselves even outside the territory of the comics, Emma also has a significant role in the series, X-23 has her time on the screen, even Scarlett Witch. The same cannot be said about her sister Polaris. If I'm not mistaken, she was one of the first mutants, other than O5, to join the X-men. But she only appears in "Wolverine and the X-men" series and now in Gifted, I haven't seen that though. Her performance in the series was not exactly the most authentic for me.

Since I don't know anything about comics, I'm only focusing on screen characters, which I think didn't have enough space. Next we have the Mirage. We got one episode in Evolution. I don't know of her appearing there again and it's a great shame. An amazing representative of the Indian race. Beautiful design, beautiful woman, super abilities.

If you look at the picture below this text.... Yes, the three in the back behind Storm and Professor X writing off his adopted son as a piece of useless rag... They are Stepford Cuckoos. Cute. Well, the third movie was such a tragedy that I'll move on. In Wolverine and the X-men, they have an important but unremarkable role. They are practically without personality. For all I know, they have a central role in Gifted, so maybe they don't belong on this list.

I already feel like it would be easier to make a list of characters that aren't underrated...

Well, another man to shave. Kind of Bonus. The Cat Pryde. Kitty Pryde back then. She's not exactly underrated, at the very least she's being used and she's getting powers she could only dream of in the comics... (Time Shift) But, considering they stole her entire storyline in favor of the beloved Logan... Some kind of price consolation... Although I wonder how she discovered this ability. Situation: Kitty: Hello, Iceman. (she hugs him and he disappears.) Kitty: (Panic) Bobby!? Bobby!!? (Iceman reappears, along with a frozen pterodactylus) Kitty: What happened?! Bobby: I appeared somewhere in the wasteland and this monster attacked me, there you go! (He hands the little pterodactyl to Kitty and disappears) (On foot). About how Kitty came to Lockheed and learned something about herself at the same time...

I could go on... But The END.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Postwoman au (Part III)

N/A: So, here we go. Show don´t tell is one of those things I want to perfect and I hope I can do ok here.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead @muninandhugin

Going to a new job is always brings new sensations. Hopes. Maybe even dreams. And Kitty Pryde would like to say she´s ready to begin this new journey with a big smile. "Oh God, what the hell I get myself into?!" she says as her mirror shows her reflection with a nervous smile and swallows hard as once again Kitty is in the waiting room- the waiting room has no signal of the big wedding and in exchange, there´re magazines covering the new sensation. A Hollywoodian celebrity is dating a mutant- inhales and exhales.

Is all Kitty can do. The receptionist appears to be a succubus- is not something to point out, but, the receptionist looks way too much Like Gloriana If, and is a big if here, wasn´t be the eyes. Her eyes are too unnatural to belong to Gloriana- and well it gives ideas as if this is a look a succubus would dig or if is about her "dates"

"Good morning, Miss Pryde, right on time...good, he loves people that are punctual," she says with an upward smile. She types something really quick in her laptop. Once the laptop gives a small sound more or less like "Blink" the receptionist gives her total attention to Kitty. "Mr. Krampus is in room 23. He´s moving out thanks to his work...he´ll need space" and she gives her a key. And nods as if this end the conversation.

"What? how I get to room 23?" Kitty asked confused. And the receptionist has a resting bitch face- or, maybe, the receptionist thinks poor on Kitty´s intelligence and Kitty will have none of that- she punches the table site separating Kitty and the so-called succubus hard. The succubus couldn´t care less.

Kitty holds the key and channels all her unfamous "mean cat spirit" to deal with this situation. "Listen, How in the hell I´ll go to a room 23 if ..." the words die off as Kitty is teleport right away. The succubus shakes her head and continues to do her work.

"Pff, mortals"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Room 23 is an oval room. The prominent colors are coffee-colored and a soft tone of blue. And a curious sight caught Kitty´s eyes- not the many strange objects that must remain nameless for now- it was the window...It is dark and snowing, yet, Kitty is 100% certain of the weather. "But...it was sunny this day...what happened?" and she looks at the window to see snow, and what appears to be a village. "Did I time travel or teleport?"

"The latter, Katzchen!" a voice whispered in her ear and is more than enough to cause Kitty to jump in her feet and gest away from the space she was, even if was a little-and turning to see her boss would be a good thing if this was a normal situation. Now, all Kitty wants to is one thing- "AHHHH I´ll not torture children" she exclaims.

Inwardly, Kitty will slap herself for being so brash. She had a big speech about this and even rehearsal that with Doug, and yet, she goes to the most cliche. For shame!

The woman pulls the Davi star out of her shirt and looks at her so-called boss. "Did you heard me? I´ll not torture children!" and if Kurt was seething and ready to mayhem, well, he´s looking perfectly calm as he takes a small candy, unwrapped, and eat it.

"Oh, I was wondering when you would found out" his smile is too charming for one who works as a tortured and Kitty´s hair goosebumps. "Ok, let´s make things clear. You´re not here to torture kids nor people. I´m. I need you to help my agenda and sometimes deliver things to the others" his golden eyes look at the key on Kitty´s hand- a small key that looks ordinary and plain- "and only that"

"Oh, but you´ll torture people? Great...want me to bring coffee to you too?" Kitty took a small knife and points at Krampus. The deity/fairy is too amused. Too amused and Kitty won´t speculate about why the man seems to happy to see a knife pointed at him.

"I´d not torture the innocents, Kitty, I torture those who have wicked souls. The children I took...is not little ones who watch porn or forget to do chores...no, I´m talking about kids who killed their younger brother, pets just because" and with a snap of his fingers the room changes and images of a young boy drowning a baby is showed much to her displeasure.

"I´m not a monster, Kitty, mere a force to punish the wick. Nothing more or less." Krampus concludes. His golden eyes seem ancient now. And an animalistic smile plays off. "I can show more of my victims...A man who shot his entire family for money. A woman who tried to murder her lover and his wife..." and Kitty raises her hand.

"STOP"

"That´s my work, Kitty...I see this every day and I´m very good in what I do"

"Could have told me" she faces him. Gritting her teeth as the room finally returns to normal. "I didn´t like to know what you do ...by a friend"

"Galaticus indicate you....this is new to me, and you´re right. I should have been more honest" his tone is full of mirth. "Do you still want to work with me?"

Yes?

No?

"Will I not have to torture anyone?"

"Yes, like I said...I only need you to organize my agenda and deliver things...only this"

Kitty exhales and slowly lower the knife. "If I stabbed you...would you felt any pain?"

"Oh, I would feel something but not what you´re imaging"

"Uhm...I think is what I´m imaging" she says holding the key closer now. _____________________________________________________________________________________________

By perchance Doug has an old movie about Krampus- well, old is an ambiguous term to use. The movie has not even 5 years old but as is the first Krampus movie...and the first to get not so favorable reviews...is easy to believe the movie is ancient-and Jubilee, Kitty, Bobby and Doug are invited to watch the movie.

"So...you´re working with Krampus?" Bobby asked bemused. "And Galaticus indicated you?"

"Yes...I have a magical contract if you want to see" Kitty responds a bit grumpy. "By the way, how are Scott and Jean?"

"Oh...yes, how are the couple?" Jubilee pipes as Doug is putting the movie on the DVD player.

"Scott and Jean are rightly pissed. They even refuse to use Prof X´s honeymoon vacation...instead, Doom...yes, I know...even they´re shocked, Doom over a nice honeymoon vacation to them and well, they´re traveling to Paris, Italy and Spain. I know, odd"

Doug then sits on the couch. "Odd love confessions aside...the movie will begin, let´s watch Kitty´s future working with Krampus"

And they silently watch the movie, especially the final part, where Krampus put all members of the family in a snowglobe.

"Well...Kitty, please don´t put us in a snowglobe"

"Speak to yourself...I can be in a snowglobe"

"Bobby, shut up"

And Kitty wonders if perhaps Galaticus hates her.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Krampus is cleaning his tools when his friend, Santa, arrives at his office offering some snacks. "So, still wanting to keep Kitty as your secretary?" and Krampus stops what he was doing to gaze seriously at the old man´s piercing eyes.

"She really had no idea what I was...that was really new to me...and as I mentioned before...yes, I´ll keep her until the contract breaks"

"You think you two may get along?"

"I think she´ll have questions. I think she won´t bide her will to mine and that" Krampus licks his dry lips and shows all his teeth in a big grin. "and I like that very much....way better than the last one"

Now Santa scowls him. "You mean that poor and delusional witch from the wind ways who wanted to sleep with you and turn you in her personal dog? No shit, Sherlock"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Amanda Szardos screams in fury when she got the word that Krampus got a new assistant. "A plain woman like her? Replace me?" and Amanda has to plot, has to be the smartest because she still needs Krampus to do her bidding and sex is not a viable coin for trade anymore.

"Then... the best thing to do is sabotage her work and Krampus will return to me"

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Night: X-Men The Last Stand

So - when this came out, I worked at a theater.  We got to see an early screening of it.  When we walked my mom turned to me and said -- that wasn’t good, right? I had to agree.  

So.  Here we are.  I feel like I have a very complicated relationship with this film, because I know a crap ton about X-Men and knowing more means this film feels like even more of a mess than maybe a general audience would know.  It’s hard to really comment on whether or not this is a good film.   It’s definitely far more watchable than the Fantastic Four, or the other Marvel related films coming out at the time that weren’t Spider-Man.  However, it doesn’t hold together too well overall.  

The biggest issue this film has is that it’s trying to shove too many story lines with too many mutants into one film, and it kind of fails at everything that it’s trying to do.  

But first - a comment on production.  It was kind of a mess (though, I’m super fascinated that there was an original draft of this that Emma Frost played by Sigourney Weaver.  Damn, I’m sad we didn’t get that).  Directors switched, writers switched, actors were no longer under contract -- and I mean, most productions have things change, but all of this resulted in this film getting pulled in fifteen different directions, and I do thing that did have an effect on the final result.  

So - let’s talk about what this film is trying to do.  

The Dark Phoenix saga.  One of the most iconic X-Men stories ever told, and it is for a reason.  Having just reread it last month, it’s egregious to me how much this movie misses the point.  Look - I’m fine, in general, when other media changes original stories for adaptations.  Film is not comics, but I do think you need to understand the essence of the story in order to do it well in an adaptation.  And The Last Stand just doesn’t understand the Phoenix story.  

See - in the comics, it’s a lot about manipulation, control, and power - and how Jean Grey is being manipulated, but breaks out of it with her extreme power.  (There’s also a ton about crazy space forces, but I understand why they didn’t go there, it’s... uber complicated.)  But, the point is that this ends up being an internal story -- how Jean deals with the power once she’s broken free from the manipulation, how how her relationships with various X-Men help her cope with split identity.  At the end -- with her friends behind her, she decides to end her own life, and her sacrifice is make sure she doesn’t destroy the universe.  And it’s very beautifully told.  

There are three things (major) things I have issue with in this film -- 1. With the exception of Cyclops, in a limited role, and slightly Xavier, Jean’s relationships with other people are just not explored enough to have an emotional impact; 2. At no point is Jean ever back in control of her own agency.  Xavier manipulates her, then Magneto, then she just stands around for a long time until Wolverine finally kills her.  It cheapens everything about Jean Grey and agency the original story has, and I hate it.  3. The story in the movie seems to service the goddamn Logan/Jean Grey love story that I hate in the comics, and I hate it more here - but I’ll spare you the diatribe.  

The other thing, though... The animated series got this right -- but it could because it had time to.  See, the comics drew this whole story out for years, and it’s emotional pay off works better over a long period of time, which a two hour movie just doesn’t have.  And it’s especially hurt when it’s truncated due to a whole other plot in the film.  Which leads me to... 

The Cure - the second plot of the film.  Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men at the time was a big hit, so they decided to use this story.  It’s not a bad story -- it has to do with the big political element that the X-Men always are dealing with, and that’s fine.  But, because it can’t be the full focus, it too feels overstuffed.  (Really the film wants to be this plot, and should have never done Dark Phoenix in the first place.)

Unfortunately, because they need to shoehorn in Magneto, the brotherhood, the Morlocks, and every other mutant in the X-Universe (except Gambit for some reason) - this turns into a mess, where Magneto is his Silver Age, scenery chewing self, and a whole lot of people punch each other because that’s what these third acts usually devolve into.  The Cure story line is and can be a much smaller story, too, and maybe works better as such, but this is a major blockbuster - which I’m sure studio mandates a certain amount of CGI nonsense.  Ah well.  

Other Thoughts (dear god, get ready for all the thoughts!): 

The Danger Room scene at the beginning of the film is a goddamn delight -- that is how you use the X-Men working as a team, and that’s how you use Wolverine in a good capacity. 

One thing I’ll credit this film - it does better with its action sequences, and specifically letting the X-Men actually work as a team.  

I can’t help but feel, though, that I wish more of the classic X-Men teams had been together for their last stand.  Something about Wolverine’s little pep talk felt hollow - maybe because these characters we’ve barely met and/or interacted with and the emotional resonance isn’t there. 

FWIW - the special effects in this film are such an upgrade than all the crud had has come before it -- especially Fantastic Four, which was only a year or so earlier.  

Hugh Jackman has finally really settled in his role as Wolverine, he’s great, yadda, yadda

Famke Janssen continues to be an excellent Jean Grey, and I’m sorry her story line stunk so badly.  The scene with her and Wolverine, where she goes through the gamut of emotions, is really quite wonderful.  It’s a shame she spends half the movie just standing (or sitting) there.  

I understand that James Marsden kind of tapped out of the franchise to go do Superman, but I’m so sad that they really didn’t do Cyclops well in any of these films.  He’s such a great character, and you wouldn’t know it at all by these films. 

The Beast! Who’d have thought that Kelsey Grammer would have been a good choice for Beast -- but it works.  

I think Halle Berry asked for more to do as Storm.  Well -- she has more to do, but she still doesn’t feel like Storm.  I want an X-Men film where she Ororo Monrue is given the proper chance to shine. 

Oh - I should mention Storm vs Callisto is a thing here, as an easter egg to long time fans, but it’s not satisfying to me as a long time fan because, like, most everything in this film, they kind of fucked it up.  

Meanwhile... oh Rogue, maybe we shouldn’t get me started on how my favorite X-Man is the utter worst in this film.  Not only is she barely in this film but... this is such a complicated issue for this character -- to be given five minutes of screen time is just the utter worst.  And no, Rogue would never do that.  No, no, no.  

Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde is amazing, and she should have had her own movie.  I find it hilarious, though, that she and Iceman kinda flirt with each other here -- since Iceman is canonically gay, and Kitty is subtextually bi.  It’s just... funny.  

Iceman - in his ice form.  Yes, more of this. 

Angel is here! He literally does nothing, but he doesn’t do much in the comics either, so it kinda hilariously works.  I like the actor, too, he’s a great match.  

The dude playing Colossus is a delight - again, more screen time needed! I kinda love that he’s just carrying around a TV to show his strength. 

Lord help me - the Juggernaut is the worst.  I hated that meme.  I hate that he looks like a literal dick head.  I hate that he’s portrayed as a mutant when he’s not, etc, etc.  

There’s so much more to comment on, but I’ll spare you the time -- I mean there’s Moira MacTaggart, and the Morlocks - who are also the Omega Gang?, and Leech, and Eric Dane playing Multiple Man, and really... they brought in Stacey X (you guys ask me about Stacey X...), and apparently Psylocke is supposed to be in here somewhere, and sentinel camoes, and Trask, and Mystique...  But, this review is long enough. 

I do need to point out - the President is played by Josef Somer, who played Ducksworth in The Mighty Ducks, and I can only think of ‘quacking’ whenever I look at him. 

Final Thoughts: It’s probably more enjoyable for a non-fan than a hardcore X-Man fan.  It’s not as bad as people make it out to seem, but it’s not good either.  Overall, there’s a lot of potential that gets squandered and exploded.  Ah well.  

[kurtty-drabbles]

Ocean au (Pool of Blood part 5)

N/A: Moving the plot forward. The heist is in the making.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead

Kokoro was training arduous as always when she sees Meggan talking in the cellphone is paying too much attention to what is being said on the device, which to be fair, is not exactly Meggan´s forte as she´s too airy when talking in the phone(Brian thinks is endearing and Kokoro won´t judge...much) but not today. As the conversation stops Kokoro is peering at Meggan for a solid minute.

"Columbina?"

"I´m not saying anything here"

"The means justify the ends. Ok. What does she want to steal this time? "

"A Pool of Blood"

"Come again?!"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Gwen Stacy is not a woman who believes in romance, at least, not anymore. She married Norman Osbourne for money and is still receiving the "judgment" from everyone. A shameful woman who sells her soul and body for money will rot in hell. Well, Gwen can´t say it was a nice marriage, but, she knows she likes his money and in this capitalist world...this type of marriage is not a bad deal...if you have stomach for that.

Gwen Stacy does not believe in romance and would like to quit dating and love, sadly, fate has other plans for her and when she did meet Clark Rogers...she decided that maybe, just maybe, romance is not impossible for her. Maybe.

"I know who you are!" Gwen is talking blandly at Clark Rogers who took Gwen to a nice cafe shop in Metropolis. Whilst the ambient is very nice, Gwen suspects he picks this place because it has not a single soul that seems to reconize she was married to Norman Osbourne.

"Huh?" Clark responds intelligently. Still pretending as much one can imagine and Gwen folds her arms bemused. "Oh...I know, it was the glasses?"

"No, the voice. I get why the glasses work. I do, but, your voice is too similar to him..." Gwen responds and Clark is surprised by this small detail, really, when he´s Super Soldier or Clark his voice never changes and no one ever picks up this little detail.

"I also know who your friend is. No, I won´t tell because I know you won´t tell either...but, can I make a question here? Why you help a thief?" Clark asks without any malice, in fact, his tone is completely laced with curiosity. Gwen got a nice divorce deal and is pretty rich and Gwen, by the few weeks they know each other, does not strick the type of being greedy, so, why help a thief?

Gwen offers a small smile, almost unnoticeable. "Well, Heroes can help, but, they are bound to the laws...and sometimes, bad peoples can use the law to get away, however, Columbina does not follow such laws and well, to get an omelette you got to break some eggs" Gwen explains and for a solid minute she was expecting the old speech how superheroes must follow the law and how Columbina is a ticking bomb.

"Well, makes sense. Actually...I understand that 100%"

And Gwen drinks her beverage happily letting her smile reach her face and eyes. Of course, Clark understands, still, Gwen does not want to fall over her heels ...yet.

"Now answer me this, pretty boy. Do you plan to be your ''fursona" for how long?" Gwen asked using the word fursona as the waitress was coming this way and no one in Metropolis needs to know about Super Soldier´s secret identity.

"Well...that´s a good question."

The date went well and Gwen is back home, in New Gotham, Super Soldier super-speed is a nice power if you ask Gwen, and if you ask her again she´ll tell the man in question is too much of a gentleman in all the right ways.

Later, when Gwen is scrolling on her phone notification of a message from Columbina appears. Gwen read one time. Two times and finally, three times. And is not getting so she decides to call Columbina. "Hi, Pool of Blood? Are you drunk?"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

All the ladies of JLX slowly come to terms that Columbina is not exactly subtle, which if you think about her extra-curricular profession, is almost laughable. All the same, faces are present, but, no one can´t ignore the presence of Kokoro.

The Japanese woman does not seem to regard the White Witch in a good light and Wanda has no time to humour Kokoro by pretending she cares for her opinion. Sparrow and Felicia are more than amused and slightly afraid. Columbina has no real fear...and only a few people know why.

"Hello, Kokoro...do you want to steal a Pool of Blood?" Kitty asked nicely offering drinks to the others and the Japanese woman shakes her head and looks at Meggan as if hoping for some support, so far, nothing.

"No, I´m here to see what you´ll try to drag my sister-in-law this time...if this Pool of Blood is indeed a menace as you said then ...why steal it?" Kokoro asked and Columbina nods saying is a good question and she points at her dog, is Cosmo, and her cat, Jupiter, to explain the case. For a moment, Kokoro was sure the woman was joking...but...

"Hello, non-believer" the dog speaks and Kokoro´s world ruins in a few words. "Ok, let´s explain what is the Pool of Blood. It all begins with Mom" Cosmo´s tail wave happily and Jupiter makes some comments here and there. "So to sum up, Mom likes to make monsters and Jupiter´s father likes to use the Pool to make bad stuff...we need to relocate the Pool. Any question?" Kokoro sits down and shakes her head.

"Ok!" Meggan now speaks. "What´s the plan?"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt Ryder was researching until by a sheer miracle the man decides to take a break. You know, in movies, thieves like Columbina love to leave elegant clues that certain place was robbed by them, however, in real life this is far from the truth.

"All of her robberies are unknown. By all accounts, she may have stolen the crown jewellery and no one is wise" Kurt explains more to himself and looks at the screen as he continues to finish his sandwich. It was a treat, a nice treat Kitty made for him and this makes a ghost of smile gingerly hits the corner of his lips.

Suddenly, as his sandwich is completely gone, and inspiration strick on his mind. "Let´s use math!" and he makes a calculous to put some numbers on his favourite unpredictable thief.

"If we could trace all the unsolved robberies from the past 5 years it could give me a tip. Now, let´s reduce this number for valuable things as diamonds or any other types of pieces of jewellery then...let´s compare this with the travels Kitty made along those ...now, let´s see...." and now he looks satisfied as the screen shows a different picture.

"Ok, now, Kitty Pryde...what´s your connection with Columbina?"

______________________________________________________________________________________________

"So...that´s the plan!" Columbina states and the ladies are muttering among themselves and once again Sparrow rose her hand. "Uhm, ok, you can speak!"

"How can we be sure the Pool of Blood will accept this deal?" she made this question thinking how untrusty a Pool of Blood who side with Chaos itself must be. In the corner of her mind, Jubilee is sure that if she was a Pool of Blood she wouldn´t honour any deal made by humans.

"A good question" Columbina states and she side-eye her furry companions for a moment. "however, Pool of Blood and many other things made by non-human's hands work in this logic: A deal is the baseline of their power. If they break the trust...they have nothing left" and this concluded her explanation.

Felicia raises her hand too. "And can Polaris truly lift that thing?" and Polaris, who was silent during the whole speech, now raises her head. "Polaris is here and I can control all the magnetic and metallic objects that exist"

"So...you´re Magneto´s daughter?" someone asked, it was Wanda, who is curious as she recalls a video where a younger Magneto spoke something similar.

Columbina and Polaris now speak in total unison. "What? No!" and Gwen is laughing at this. It´s a comical reaction and now Polaris is being more vocal about her parentage. "What do you mean I´m his lost daughter? No, I´m not...The fuck are you talking about?!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Ryder is finally on the corridor of his apartment and is ready to take a shower and sleep, and maybe, try not to think too much about Columbina and Kitty Pryde, however as soon he rubs his eyes all the ladies of JLX leave Kitty´s door and are chatting about something until they all saw him.

Meggan is there along with Kokoro and is really awkward. Sparrow and Felicia seem to be the only ladies who Kurt has a positive past, ironically, Kurt never hit on Felicia even when she was single and right now this is a blessing.

Kitty was talking with Wanda(he swore Wanda said something like "if your dog allows we can cast more spells tonight" and Kurt wants to know the context) in the background but stops once she notices Kurt and Meggan and Kokoro staring at each other awkwardly.

"Ok. Ok. That´s enough awkward enough for everyone. So, Kurt...this is Meggan and Kokoro, Kokoro and Meggan this is Kurt...we all had shit past, it will get shitter if we make more awkward" Kitty states and pushes Kurt to his door and bide him farewell.

Meggan and Kokoro seem to be relieved and starts to carry on for the elevator. Before Kurt even has the chance to ask why those ladies are here, and Kitty knows him enough to know he wants to make this question. Kitty beat him first. Metaphorically.

"We´re talking about selling Ivone´s cosmetic together" Kitty speaks and the other ladies vehemently opposed to this idea.

Wanda and Gwen speak together. "No, this is a book club. Ignore Kitty´s lame jokes"

___________________________________________________________________________________________

"Magneto...now that you locate your daughter, what shall you do?" Emma Frost asked still on the jail and Magneto has ways to communicate with the woman without anyone knowing.

"Me?" and she can see the smirk playing on his lips. Magneto is really that arrogant. "I´ll finish what I started and will finally kill Martian X"

"Good luck...is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Depends...do you want to stay on the prison forever?"

"...I´m listening"

[kurtty-drabbles]

Evil movie au(shower)

N/A: Oh, finally, I´ll arrive in this part.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @sailorstar9 @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

The master of magnetism is playing with some magnetic balls, their purpose, as Magneto is aware, is to relax whilst dealing with stressful activities, so, far, the activity is making only Magneto calm as the others are tipping toe with their boss.

A girl with green hair, green lipstick and wearing a mask of indifference to guard her inner turmoils enter the room of Magneto(everything belongs to him and no one forgets this detail) and march as she´s back home. A man takes the lead and is leading another man, by a collar, to sit down as this man is speaking. Morph is anything but a slacker and if Magneto orders something…Morph obliges.

“Here is the Doctor Warrington, the man speaks of a cure for us” Morph explained and Magneto looks at the bruised man who is speaking about only wanting to help.

“You think we´re a disease, you think we need a cure, no, We´re the cure” Magneto speaks with a bombastic voice and earning attention to all in the room, the green haired girl looks at the man with a masked indifference as she´s not allowed to leave.

“And since you´re so adamant in getting rid of diseases, we shall start with you” Magneto order Morph to cut the man´s head, however, Morph won´t be able to do any task anymore as a telekinetic sword went through his chest and as Morph falls on the ground, Psylocke is standing proud.

The green haired girl is soon forgotten by everyone as Psylocke is not here to be ignored and the little girl is no longer showing indifference.

“Psylocke, do you want to kill the good doctor? No need to kill one of my mutants” Magneto´s tone is calm, yet, Magneto is not a man to underestimate.

“No, I´m not here to kill more than I have, something you clearly forget” Psylocke answers back with her sword ready.

“Bold words from a woman who did far worse than killing, no, don´t come to my house pretending your hands are cleaner than mine” Magneto rose from his chair “I´ll do what´s necessary for the mutant´s well being”

“I did worse, and I´ll do much more for the sake of mutants and humans, now, I´ll not let a family be broken in the so-called name of ’‘the greater good” you remember what caused this whole crusade, Erik?“ Psylocke asked "Dr Warrigton is Angel´s father and I was under the impression family mean something to you”

Magneto stops and looks at the doctor one last time. “Family means everything to me, even if my children think otherwise” Erik looks at the green haired girl who is far away from his eyes and the almost battle.

Psylocke helps doctor Warrington to rose from his feet and leave. Magneto will give retribution for this, Betsy is sure, however, let the woman taste this small victory as Warren won´t be fatherless, at least, not today.

“Thank you, thank you so much. I was just trying to help” the man explained for the last time.

“I know, you may have good intentions, but, how can you be sure the government has the best intention with all of the mutants? How can one impose such decision on anyone? ” Betsy asked and the doctor remains silent. The hell is paved with good intentions.

____________________________________________________________________________________-

The sun is hitting the Institute with all its power, Storm did give a quick call and informed she will come back with a new recruit, her nephew, named Spike Monroe,  and Jean and Scott are making sure the boy has room to stay.

Meanwhile, Kitty is strolling around the mansion, for the first time, she´s starting to feel used to the routine. Wanda and her magical items, Scott and Jean being a lovey-dovey couple, Rogue and her southern food, Dr MCcoy and his scientific talk, Professor X and his own optimism, Logan and his grumpiness and Bobby making his jokes(frozen Logan´s cigar was legendary and dumb at the same time)

Kitty Pryde decides to use the shower, maybe, she could cut her hair(or ask Wanda´s help in this regard) as she wants a new look, as she opens the door of the bathroom she has a blue surprise.

Kurt Wagner is there, naked, save by the towel hiding one big thing, and is free of any shame as Kitty is watching the …fur, the tone muscles and his tattoos.

“Guten Tag, Katzchen, ich bin Sauber” Kurt explained and Kitty can feel how the blood her own blood is going to her face. The towel is not really hiding much and her eyes are focused on his golden one.

“What?” she whisper “I´d not see anything, obviously there´s lots to see here, but, I´m looking at your eyes. What happened?” Kitty asked unmovingly.

“Oh, I get a mission and …Wall-crawler” Kurt speaks with a certain disdain and Kitty has no clue of who he´s talking about(to be fair, she´s thinking about other things)“ and let me tell you, webs, sand and goo aren´t a good combination, New York is a violent place”

“You….naked?” Kitty asked again and she saw one man naked before, her first boyfriend and Kitty did go all the way, however, he is not as handsome as Kurt and Kitty is trying to act like a normal person and not as an anime protagonist.

Kurt smiles far too malicious and her EX has nothing against him. “As I said, New York is a violent place” his finger put to a scar on his leg, it looks serious and newly tended. “Dr MCcoy patch me up and said, in short words, I was sticking and told me to take a bath”

“Well, I´ll let you finish the bath now, see you later Kurt” she runs feeling the blush increase and tries to not think in certain blue parts. Meanwhile, Kurt Wagner´s malicious smile continues.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Evil Movie au (part 1?)

N/A: Since I´ll back to work tomorrow here is my little take on this au, now, Hellfire will be used here and since I know next to nothing (aside from this organization be now a sex house) I´ll take some liberties.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

@sailorstar9

In all honesty, the mutants were never a secret, much less a well-thought secret, as people can see Jean Grey lifting things with her mind, Cyclops using his laser beans against any foe, Storm is not ashamed of her powers and more than once humans saw her creating, well, literally storms and, of course, there are Magneto and Professor X who are the most powerful beings in the world.

The existence of mutants change how people see each other and have drastic effects on minorities and white people, what if people of colour have the power to snap you in two? What if that person from the LBGT community can zap you to the next dimension?

It makes the hate crimes decreased and the white house is a concern as the X-men are walking, talking guns and what stops them to take over the US? To take over the world? Brazil did inform they have a good chunk of mutants with fire powers( more potent than any weapon the US could dream)

Stryker always foresees this situation. Always, and for that the man device, in secret, a plan to protect humanity(a huge thank you to the Friends of Humanity, who finance the project)

"Mr President, here is the solution for our troubles with mutants" Stryker speaks revealing the Sentinel project, is still on developing but the results are more than enough to convince the White House that the Mutants will be taken care.

"Stryker, When the Sentinels will be officially ready?" one of President´s Generals asked looking impressed, but, he wants results now.

"I need more time to fully make the project work and I ask help to be able to help our great nation" Stryker paraphrase what is essential ''I need more money'' and them did accept in hopes the Sentinel will save humanity.

Stryker has lots and lots scientists working for him, his most trust worker, Daniel Palmer, is someone who has Stryker 100% trust, to the point, when Stryker has to leave to solve some issues in Switzerland, Daniel will be in charge.

Daniel smiles as Stryker leaves as now the man has to take care of the industry number 2 where the weapons for the Sentinels are being made, Daniel smiles as he reveals his blades and continues to smiles as his disguise is revealed showing a man with blue fur, golden eyes and fangs, of course, his spandex tail.

"Sorry, gentleman, I´ll have to cut some of you, is a tough business" The man teleports and no one in that industry is left alive. Once assure there´s no witness, the blue man calls his superiors.

"Ja, this is Nightcrawler, tell Betsy and Emma it works like a charm" Nightcrawler looks at his blade stick with blood "I finish part 1," the superiors gave the order to set this industry on fire and Nightcrawler obeys.

Once in Switzerland, Stryker realizes that he never hired a man named Daniel Palmer. This information is keep hidden from everyone.

______________________________________________________________________

Kurt Wagner is on his sofa, the small and cosy apartment resembles the man his old home in Germany and as usual, this opens a can of bad and good memories. He wasn´t the first mutant in Germany, but, was the first to be blue.

Today, Kurt Wagner has a day off and intends to enjoy as much as possible, being blue and free of any shame, until, his cellphone rings. Jubilation Lee and Pietro Maximoff are one of the few people who Kurt still keep contact (and they still think Kurt can´t use social media like Whatsapp)

"Hi, guys," Kurt speaks freely as Jubilation, on the other line, is freaking out and not talking loudly at the same time "Kurt, the government is really serious about the Sentinels program"

"Scott found out this Now" that is Pietro´s voice and he too is using the same tone as Jubilation "What this mean?"

"Why ask me? I´m not an X-men anymore" Kurt offers a response "but, the project won´t come to fruition" and once asked about all he answers is "I´m no longer an X-men, but, never will let any friend of mine suffer by such fate"

Pietro and Jubilation have to accept this.

"Ok, moving on, we receive a new student here...At first, we weren´t sure if we should take her or send to you" Jubilation confessed and that caught his attention. "But she is a bit older than Wanda and Pietro wants his baby sister to have a friend"

Pietro cleans his throat "Soon she will fall for a random robot and I won´t accept this" Kurt laughs amused at such silly paranoia. Wanda has 17 years old, and since this new student is a bit older, the age must be among 20 more or less. "So, this Kitty Pryde will stay, 20 years old is not a big deal and no, I´m not being paranoid" Kurt and Jubilation laugh a little.

"But, we aren´t here to laugh at Pietro´s sis-con, we don´t know if she´ll adapt here, so, we just want to keep all doors open" Jubilee finishes in a more professional tone that even Pietro agrees and uses as well.

"What´s her power?" Is not very common they be so open about one of their students wanting to change sides.

"Ghosting!" Pietro informed clear as day and gives a loud ouch as Jubilee reply again "phasing"

"Ok, we´ll see how that plays out" Kurt can´t promise anything if the woman prefers to stay with the X-men he can´t kidnap her. The name Kitty Pryde is a bit curious and the phone call as well, Nightcrawler will have to wait and see what´s happening, but, now, the man wants to relax as tomorrow a new task waits for him.

[kurtty-drabbles]

The Swan Lake au

N/A: I grew up watching Don Bluth´s version and man...talk about wasted potential. I love how the princess didn´t want to marry the Prince because they have nothing in common. So, how about a retelling of that story where Kitty, the Princess does love the evil wizard Kurt(Rothbart) without Stockholm Syndrome or anything like that? Also, I´m chicken as I don´t want to make Kitty´s father as an asshole(he´s one in the comics) but I want to use an uncle here....wait, in the movie Odette was raised by her father but she may as well be raised by the wild bears as no one was really paying attention to her.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @discordsworld

In the kingdom of Magnolia, a plague infests their lands causing nothing but misery to the farmers and to everyone who needs food. The King Regent, Alfred, is facing a great crisis as his last option is to call help from the ever so intimidating Necromancer.

"A Plague?" the voice carries an accent that is new to the kingdom attracting attention from a third person in the conference room, someone the King-regent is not paying attention.

"Yes, a mutated form of locusts are attacking the land and we don´t know what to do to stop, can you help us?" the King -Regent asked with a plea in his tone, something not heard every day.

"I can do that easily, my magic is more than enough to exterminate them, are you alright with the payment?" The Necromancer asked showing a fanged smile and the King only nods his head "in that case, consider the problem solved"

The third person in the room is still being ignored, even more, as the Necromancer leaves the room.

The Necromancer, named Kurt, not always goes have to chit chat with clients in their own places, however, Kurt has to admit Magnolia is richer than Genosha and is interesting to make contacts in this kingdom.

Kurt stops in the hall and chuckles amused.

"You can come out now, the little spell of yours is not very good, at least not against me" Kurt speaks and a young woman with doe eyes, chestnut hair in a ponytail braid style(resembling, for some reason, the pure essence of autumn) and a blue dress. If it wasn´t for the small crown on her head, Kurt could have mistaken her for the lady-in-waiting of this court.

“Oh, how did you notice me?” the woman in question is older enough, no more than 21 years, but still carries a certain naivete and innocence that Kurt finds cute. A Princess in such richer kingdom sure has better things to do than following him around.

“Your smell” Kurt stated and Kitty starts to smell herself and looking at him dubiously, she is not smelling bad nor strongly enough “my nose is more sensitive than yours and I can feel your aura” far too innocent to be mistaken with the King.

“Now, tell me, what´s a princess like you doing in following me?” Kurt asked waiting to scare her a little, yet, the effect was the opposite.

“I didn´t mean to bother you, I just want to see you doing real magic” and then she realizes, with shame and disgust that no one introduced herself to him neither Kitty “My name is Katherine Anne Pryde, daughter of Cameron and Theresa Pryde” she made a bow and Kurt chuckles, yes, she is too innocent.

“Wait, magic? You´re the Princess of the richer kingdom of all the 7 kingdoms….You can hire a tutor or a magician without a problem” Kurt could see what would come next either she would try to flirt with him or appeal to his ego.

“My uncle never let me be near to magic” Kitty stated and Kurt looks a bit perplexed “Oh, that?is not magic, is my waking, I can phase through walls and anything” she explained smiling and then bites her inner lips as she gains courage to ask “can I watch you perform magic?”

“I´ll kill dozen of mutated animals in the most brutal way”

“I know, still, I would like to see. Magic is something I always want to understand. The freedom it gives as well the pain and brings.”

“Well, if have the stomach to handle me killing several mutated animals for hours, why not?” Kurt stated and Kitty follows him along.

________________________

True to his words the elimination of this plague was not a walk in the park, far from it, yet, Kitty did pay attention to the spells used. In the end, the problem was solved and Kurt receives his payment. No one cheating on the payment, unlike a certain kingdom, Kurt then notices the absence of the princess. It´s night and everyone is feasting. In his honour, although some could argue it was more dedicated to the free lands than him, semantics.

“Where´s the Princess?” Kurt asked confused as the seat dedicated to her is empty and he knows she was unharmed during his job and ended up back to the castle safely. King Regent offers an apologetic smile.

“She´s feeling sick of the sudden, you know, women´s problems” the king explained and as the few members of the court refused to look at the King as he explains the situation, something is not right.

He shouldn´t care.

He really shouldn´t care, yet, he does.

______________________

On the next morning, Kitty receives a letter in secret from the Necromancer, the man asked if she is alright and Kitty wonders if this is one of those magical letters where the other can see you, Kitty´s eyes are red and puffy as her check is marked with a slap.

“Dear Kurt, I´m fine...I was just feeling tired, if you are offering to teach me, for real? I would enjoy that very much, could be after day 5” she looks herself at the mirror looking angry at the slap on her face, it will take a few days to heal, even with her maids using the healing spells and ailments “by the way, that spell you used on the last locusts, could you teach me?”

Kitty now looks again to her bruise. This is the last time her uncle ever hurts her.

______________________________________

Lately, the Princess of Magnolia is not always in her chores, for example, she was supposed to cut the tie of the newest school in the Capital, however, she wasn´t there. It was her lady-in-waiting who cut the tie. No one really complained as the school itself is magnificent and later the Princess did show up to the joy of each kid.

The King- Regent never knew about this little incident or the others.

“Calm down, focus” Kurt instructed a shivering Kitty who is holding a green energy ball with her own free will as Kurt explain.   

“For how long should I keep doing this?” Kitty speaks gravelly closing her eyes and focusing on her task.

“Uhm, until you feel the energy can´t be contained anymore” Kurt explained and Kitty nods once deeming now is the time to let go of the green energy ball. The Princess let the ball drop on the floor causing a medium hole on the ground.

“Yeah, not bad for a beginner” Kurt stated analysing the hole and then Kitty´s hand, not much burning as he envisioned for the first time.  Using a potion the man puts on her delicate hands. Kurt likes the contrast of their hands.

“Am I getting better?” Kitty asked with that cute smile of her and Kurt is feeling soft again.

“You´re moving to decent” Kurt teased her and Kitty pouts “by the way, why do you want to learn magic so much? if you have a problem I can do it for you” Kitty didn´t think this suggestion was as flattering or gallant as Kurt hoped.

“I´ve had men saying the exact thing, don´t move a finger, Little Kitty, I can do it for you, I can rule for you” Kitty looks enraged as she continues “Little Kitty, stay in your Room, I know better. I´m sick of this”there´s certain desperation on her voice “is madness living there...I can´t only count with my words against men that can beat me up...I need an advantage, green balls of energy are one of them”

Kurt lets her rant until she is over. Give a glass of water and merely speaks.

“In that case, the next lesson will have to be different, if you want to survive in such court...you´ll need more spells, are you sure you don´t want me to kill all of them?”

“Lovely offer, but not, thank you, elf”

“I only let you call me elf cause you´re cute”

Kitty was about to ask if the new spell will coast something, her hand is in the rubies of her bracelet(Kitty does not care for anything given by her uncle) when Kurt replies.

“No, keep with the bracelet, the lesson is free”

“Ok” she takes her bracelet and hands to Kurt “But I want to give my bracelet, fuzzy elf”

___________________________________

Kitty, according to the King-Regente, is not a beauty and much less fit to rule the Kingdom. A poor girl in a woman´s body still grieving for the loss of her parents. That is the answer given when Magneto asked why Kitty, with 21 years old now, is not the ruler. No one buys this excuse until Pietro, by accident, saw Kitty and the evil necromancer talking on the west pond.

Magneto didn´t think twice to call the X-men and Excalibur. The King-Regent was furious and wants to make his displeasure know to his niece, except, his hand is now bleeding.

“You won´t touch me again, uncle”  Kity states proudly with her green glowing hands now she tries to run, but, this was not effective. The guards captured Kitty using more advanced spells. Kitty did put a fight. Use all the spells she could and phase at the best moment, but, the guards of Magnolia are trained to be the best of the best. The elite. Kitty may have talent with magic, but, a few months training is not enough as guards who had years perfecting their magic.

“The necromancer completely dominates her mind” The man speaks wipe the blood of his check “ Look what she has done to me! let this girl stay on her room, never let her leave, I´ll call Excalibur to take a look on her mind, that monster temper her poor fragile mind”

“NO! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS TRYING TO TEMPER EVERYTHING HERE” Kitty screams and some listen, some ignored and some did nothing.

Rachel Grey is the daughter of Jean Grey. The name has tremendous weight. Once entering the room, the woman was not expecting this. Usually, when someone controls anyone´s mind, as the king gives the so-called symptoms, the person would think only about their master and nothing more.

“My name is Rachel Grey” Rachel introduced herself “I´m a heroine and I´m here to save you, I just want to make sure your mind is alright, do you let me enter in your mind?”

“Why do you need my consent? I know you´re trying to enter with no success” Kitty spats back still reading her book “I don´t want anyone poking with my mind and no, I´m not under anyone´s control”

“The Necromancer stole a very valuable bracelet it´s on his nature to do so” Rachel tries again.

“I gave to him, that bracelet was a present from my uncle...he wanted to fuck me and make me his bride….so, is Excalibur going to save me from him?”

______________________

Kurt Wagner is a man of patience. That´s one of his virtues. Kurt Wagner is also a man prompt to feel a fury no one could describe. Right now, Magnolia will be the witness of such an event. Kurt Wagner is not anger. He´s pissed.

Kitty didn´t show up for her classes, Kitty didn´t give notice has days now. And once asking around “nicely” to a new member of X-men turns out Princess Kitty is being held captive in her own home by her uncle and Excalibur is trying to clean her mind from his influence.

Kurt is not in a good mood now.

The burned land of the capital is an indication of that. And the pillage of dead bodies is too. The guards who saw the Necromancer coming to Kitty´s room did the only thing possible, abandoned their weapon and surrender themselves.

No one gets away with this injustice, however, the guards are not dead or permanently injured.  The door has a series of complex seals prevent Kitty from phasing and anyone else to enter. The seals are good but they aren´t against Kurt.

“Katzchen?” Kurt asked the woman coughing and far too thin, in his mind, she´s too thin. Kurt takes her in a bridal style tenderly “Are you alright?”

“I´m not dying, you won´t need to resurrect me, I´m just with hungry and thirsty” the words leave her mouth so weakly and Kurt really didn´t like this at all. The man summons a glass of water for Kitty to drink.

“I´m going to take you out of here, ok?” Kurt asks his bamfs to take Kitty to his house safely.

“I have to do one last thing”

___________________________

King Regent is not pleased. No, he´s terrified as the Necromancer is in the castle.Where is the X-men or Excalibur?

“Help!” Alfred screams in agony.

“Help?” a male voice now whisper in his ear “there´s no one but me in this room, I´m the God now and I decide that an incestuous freak like you don´t need to live very much, the worms may have a better use  for you”

No one heard from Alfred ever again.

_______________________________

“My head” Kitty speaks nursing a headache it has been 15 days since she´s in Kurt´s home and it seems that what happened in the Magnolia was a bad dream. “Good morning, Kurt”

“Good morning, how is your head?”

“Fine, just don´t let me drink that much beer like last night, ok?”

“Ok”

[kurtty-drabbles]

Talk Show au

N/A: Hey, I saw Batman and Harlequin´s movie and at the end, she got her own show, so, why not Columbina? What the hell will I come up with?

@djinmer4

It all started as a joke. Just like everything in Columbina´s life. Kitty Pryde would make a few videos on the Youtube where she talks about the madness that´s New Gotham.

It becomes a sort of routine, after a day as Columbina, Kitty would show up in her vlogger and talk freely("who is Dark Claw and why we never see Logan Wayne in the same place? But the most important question, what about dragons?")

It´s was just a joke that escalated. The views increase and Kitty gets money from her videos to the point Kitty give up on pursuing a job on the Gotham News.

Lorna and Tory enter in this new endeavour with open minding and the channel grows, grows and grows to the point the studio BB, rival of New Gotham calls the sirens(not knowing they are the sirens) to ask if they want a TV Show.

"And our time is over now" Kitty replied to the guest, a random woman who take pictures of Aquaman and told her story of how she met the hero "than you for sharing this story and remember, only in New Gotham" Kitty speaks in a joyful fashion and even the guest exclaimed too.

The guest hugs Kitty, Lorna and Tory as the credit goes.

______________________________ The show "You´re wrong" is a popular show that aired by 5 years. Some wacko theorist of conspiracy likes to link the famous show the "birth" of Nightcreeper. Of course, no one believes in those strange theories.

Kurt Ryder knows his show is the most popular one, not arrogance on his part(maybe a little, but after 5 years, his show still get great views and reviews.

So, when Vera Sweet and Cord practically scream at him by cellphone about a situation. Their biggest rival, BB has a new show and Vera and Cord are taking this new as an insult.

"Guys?" Ryder asked as Vera and Cord are passing back and forth in his office "Is just a show, is ok"

"No" Vera stops and looking at him dead set into his eyes "BB´s studio bever get these good ratings before...and this woman, along with her friends, used to be a YouTuber, have you watch her shows?" Vera inquired narrowing her eyes and blowing air from her mouth angrily when he shakes his head.

"Her show is so...random" Cord explained bemused with the situation " and strange, Ryder, you got to look at the competition" Cord speaks and turn the TV on to an old episode of her show.

She is talking about Nightcreeper. Vera and Cord are talking about this set of events("A youtuber? What does this mean? Should we get a youtuber too?" "Onto that, I called the RH to solve this")

"And that´s the event of my friend had with this creepy, now remember only in New Gotham and Beware of the creepy, bye!" Kitty, in the screen, did wave goodbye as the credit rolls.

"I didn´t know you guys care for me so much," Kurt Ryder asked and their reply is the true form of friendship.

"If you lose your show, we lose our jobs" Vera and Cord replied in unison and Ryder just chuckles at that, looking again to the woman in the screen.

________________________________ "Remember the plan, Columbina" Penguin instructed, "you get the gem and I get the information, got it?"

"Got it, pengy!" the woman giggles at his reaction and both enter the casino, of course, an underground casino. Running down by Salazar, a criminal who works with Falcone. That makes the situation tense enough as Penguin and Falcone have bad blood.

"Good night, gentleman, me and this lovely lady" cue to Columbina waves friendly at them "would like to play poker, can we?"

Salazar looks at penguin then at Columbina for a second and nods his head but a few of his men are nearby. Too close of the duo.

"What a pretty gem you have"Columbina starts the conversation as both got their cards "have I told you that? " Salazar smiled at that and gives an arrogant smile to Penguin. Certainly thinking about stealing Penguin´s girl and money.

Sadly, this is not what will happen. ___________________________ Columbina is running for her life amused as Salazar´s men are after her. Penguin manages to get the information he needs, Falcone is investing in booze and Penguin has no problem with stall his new transition to his own benefit.

Columbina did take down 3 of them but 2 remain and the woman is in fighting position, no way she´ll hand over this gem("Finders keep, boys") until maniacal laughter echoes in the docks.

The men suddenly got paler and drop their guns, much to Columbina´s astonishment, one of them mutters "if you stay down, he won´t hurt you" Kitty didn´t have to ask who it is.

Nightcreeper shows up on the right pile of boxes having his hands together as if he´s posing for a T-Rex challenge. The maniacal laughter stops as Nightcreeper comes down.

"Kinder is a dangerous night to walk alone" Nightcreeper replied not knowing about boundaries.

"Creepy!" Columbina pouts and holds the gem as her life depends on it. "How you always find me?" now his tail lift her face, still pouting, and replied smirking "I take a wild guess"

One of the men, maybe being too immature or wanting to impress the boss, though in shooting Nightcreeper. Bad mistake. The bullets did nothing to his green skin.

"Ah, fresh meat, Kevin, drop out of college to follow a life of crime? Shame" Nightcreeper replied and Kevin is freak out, how he knows his name? this question will have no answer as Nightcreeper, using his tail, toss the man high and putting on his knee slap his butt.

"See? that´s what you get for joining criminals" Then puts Kevin in a hook, holding him by his clothier" college was hard? hang on there to think about" and turns to the other man.

The nameless man tries to run away but Nightcreeper finds him, break his guns easily(laughing amused as the bullets did nothing to his skin) and putting him next to Kevin "Have a nice view of New Gotham, is gloomy but is never boring"

Now is just him and Columbina, the woman shakes her head still pouting.

"Kinder, steal is wrong" Nightcreeper adds in a more soft tone.

"This gem was stolen in the first place, and you haven´t answered me," Columbina asked.

"You haven´t asked " Nightcreeper adds

"Why you always find me? why you care so much for me?" Columbina asked and Nightcreeper is now playing with his boa.

"You make so many questions, you sound like a cute reporter" Nightcreeper replied smiling in a creepy fashion "or a very cute youtuber, either way, you´re cute. I like you. That´s it"

"You like me? Wait, Youtuber?" Columbina can now see the police coming and looks at the Nightcreeper who is amused. "I got to go now, take care Nightcreeper because we´ll talk about this"

"You like me too" Nightcreeper stated.

"You´re funny" she replied somewhat confused(never really disgusted or anger, she does not mind his antics, but he sure confuses her) and flies away.  The police arrive and meet the two-man hanging in the air. And no Nightcreeper.

"It was that wacko, that green furry wacko" Kevin stated.

____________________________________ "You know, those events about midia?" Lorna asked as Tory and Kitty are about to enter in such events "what we should do?"

"Uhm, enjoy the shrimp?" suggested Tory.

"Yeah, I go with with the shrimp!" enforced Kitty.

"Ah, the shrimp is really good, I recommend" a new voice pipes in. Kurt Ryder is there looking a bit smug and notices Kitty´s new necklace. A real gem.

"Ryder!" Kitty chastised mildly "don´t a creepy, anyway, is nice to see you, Ryder" Kitty gives his hand, maybe thinking he would shake, but, the man kisses lightly.

"And I´m happy to see you. And all your friends, come on, the party is about to start and there´s plenty of shrimp" Kurt Ryder offers a nice smile and both women enter. "By the way, Kitty" the woman looks at him "you look beautiful tonight, and, I like your necklace"

"Ah, thank you, I had to break a few legs to get it" and then she laughs off as if is a joke.

[spaceorphan18]

also your opinion on the x-men franchise of movies

Uneven.  

Oh wait, I’m really bad at short answers.  Here’s my long answer. 

Original Trio: 

X-Men - the original film kicked off what modern superhero films would be.  It’s classic in every since.  It’s not without it’s issues (Halle Berry’s Storm - what even?!?), and doesn’t really hold up well compared to most of the other movies in the franchise, but it’s special for what it was.  Also, ingenious putting Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen together in the same film.  

X2 - Most people remember this as the ‘good’ original X-Men film.  For the life of me, it’s been too long since I’ve seen it to give a full opinion (I should rewatch these.  Hmm.)  I remember enjoying it a lot when it came out - and being super excited when Jean Grey had some Phoenix flares going on.  Plus, it had some standout memorable moments in there, such as Wolverine claiming to be the art teacher.  I’ll have to rewatch it to make sure, but I’m pretty sure this still holds as best one from the original trilogy.  

X-Men The Last Stand - What an utter piece of garbage.  They tried to jam a bunch of classic story lines into one film and it failed.  Utterly.  Meanwhile - a bonus point for Ellen Paige as Kitty Pryde - it’s a shame they didn’t do more with her.  Looses a point for complete waste of Anna Paquin’s Rogue (my favorite character).  I don’t blame Paquin, though, fwiw.  

Mostly - they were fine for what they were, but now that we’ve had the MCU, there’s so much more.  They’re also very Wolverine centric for what is classically a ensemble comic book.  I also wish they had done more with various characters - Cyclops had nothing to do. Neither does Storm.  Iceman is canonically gay, that’s way more interesting than the film.  And Rogue’s love interest was/is Gambit - which has a lot of potential for onscreen.  

The Wolverine Trio: 

Wolverine Origins: Hugh Jackman is undeniably one of the most inspired casting choices in the franchise.  I’m not a huge Wolverine fan - but Hugh Jackman is almost always worth watching.  This movie, however, is a piece of garbage.  Not helping is the fact that Wolverine has one of the most absurd backstories of any comic character ever - this movie is bloated and drawn out and just makes one stupid decision after another.  But there are entertaining elements.  

It’s also the only appearance of Gambit - which I wanted more of, even if this little cameo didn’t do the character much justice. 

The Wolverine: I haven’t seen this one, so I have no opinion.  I’m told it’s better than Origins, but still eh.  

Logan: This might be the best god damn movie in the whole franchise.  It’s just Wolverine, Prof X, and X-23 (Laura Kinney) but it does everything right - it’s compelling, has a great and believable story, and just twists you in ways you were expecting.  It’s hard at times, but really, really well done.  It’s also, probably, the most cinematic and cerebral of all the X-Men movies. 

The Second Trio: 

First Class: This movie is, uh, odd.  I thought they might do a reboot and actually use the first class of X-Men, which I think would have been an interesting way to go - but they did not...  Where it works is James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender’s Xavier and Magneto - which is on par with the brilliant portrayal of the characters by Stewart and McKellen respectively.   Also - Beast.  Can’t remember that actor, but Beast!!  Where it fails - the cast of mutants is super, super weird - they really went for obscure names.  Also January Jones’s Emma Frost is just. so. bad.  

It’s got a lot going for it the original trio doesn’t have, but it’s the weakest of the next trio of films. 

Days of Future Past: While a bit convoluted in places, and overstuffed with mutants at times, this is perhaps the best X-Men film that isn’t Logan.  It takes a story from the comics and really lets it shine on screen.  Great film, little complaints. Oh and gains a few points by undoing the mess of The Last Stand.  I still need to watch the version where Rogue’s included.  

Apocalypse: Alright - so this is a hot mess of a film, but unlike The Last Stand, it’s still incredibly entertaining.  I wanted more from the villain Apocalypse - who is scary and larger than life in the comics - here he kind of pales and is laughable.  And not enough screen time for some great new characters - including a young Storm, Cyclops, and Jean Grey.  I’m also tired of Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique (again, not the actress’s fault - just the character isn’t /that/ big in the comics and it feels more like she’s there because she’s played by Jennifer Lawrence instead of having any real relevance in the plot.) 

Others: 

Deadpool: It pushed on the boundaries of comic book movies - and worked.  It’s still very formulaic in a lot of ways, but it was enjoyable, and I can appreciate what they did, even if the crude humor was a little too much for me at times.  They did capture the character and who he is very, very well. 

Also bonus point for Teenage Megasonic Warhead Whatever the hell her name was.  Fantastic.  

Am I missing any others? I don’t think so...?  

Upcoming: 

Dark Phoenix: Well.  I’m a little unsure about this. Mostly because half the cast used in the comics won’t be there for the film, but it’s a good story, and it looks like they’ll be trying to tell it right.  It also seems like it’ll be the last one Fox produces out right, and seems like a good place to stop, tbh.  

Gambit: *sigh* Don’t get me wrong - I’d love me a good Gambit film.  But I just can’t get behind the casting of Channing Tatum.  He’s too bulky and not nearly charming enough.  We’ll see...  I don’t expect much from this. 

Deadpool 2: Sure, I’ll see it.  Why not.  

//

So now that MCU has X-Men again, I’m looking forward to a huge reboot.  There are so many possibilities - including room for an all female X-Men movie (in my dreams, I know) and better development of my favorite girl - Rogue.  

[spaceorphan18]

X3 - The Last Stand

Back in ‘06 I worked at a movie theater - and was able to get tickets to the midnight special showing of this film.  Being the X-Men fan that I was, I took my mom (also an X-Men (or, um, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine)fan).  When the film was over, we walked out to our car pretty quietly.  Then mom said - that was bad, right?  Yup.  Yup, it was bad. 

Since then, I did buy the film (why - idk cause I’m some sort of weird completest), and it’s sat on my shelf for twelve years.  Okay, I may have seen it, idk, once since it first was released?  

So - I was actually looking forward to watching this again.  Because it always has had the rep of being the really bad X-Men film and I couldn’t remember much from it, other than that original feeling.  So, how was it? Interesting.  I think knowing the X-Men mythos a lot (A LOT) better than I did back then I understand the film much better now.  However, while the entertainment value went up for me, it’s still a pretty ridiculous and not great film. 

Something I’ll give the first two films -- they each had solid, concise plots that were pretty sturdy (if slightly boring) in structure.  They did what they should, and were satisfying for what they were.  This film takes the plots from 2.5-ish classic storylines, adds in about a dozen or so characters it doesn’t really need, and blends it with a bunch of explosions, and that’s it.  That’s the film.   Funny, though, it’s the first time X-Men has felt like an actual superhero film, though.  

Plot #1 - The Cure.  Which has been done a few times in the comics, but this specifically was taken from the recent (at the time) Joss Whedon run on X-Men.  

What works: The ethics discussions stemming from it are pretty interesting, and the tension brought about by the idea of a cure feels very X-Men to me.  Also bringing in Beast (who knew Kelsey Grammar would be a good choice?), who has a fantastic, if under utilized role.  The kid that played Leech was great.   

What doesn’t: God, first of all -- Rogue! I get why they did it, but not only does Rogue have barely anything to do (they could have done some really fun things with her powers, but chose not to), they make her get the cure.  And just -- no! Not the Rogue I love from the comics, who went through this in the comics, and nope.  

Also - the whole plot devolves into the Magneto takes over plot, which I’ll talk about in a second.  

Angel is introduced in this plot line - and it’s a shame, other than some really gorgeous shots, Angel has virtually nothing to do in the film (Which is a problem with the cast of mutants being so big - not all of them can get enough screen time.) 

Plot #2 - Dark Phoenix.  Okay - so the Dark Phoenix story is probably the most iconic thing from X-Men.  And -- there was some great set up in the previous film.  The entire film should have been about Phoenix, cause it deserves it. Not....whatever this was.  

What works: Famke Janssen’s acting -- the first portion of the story, which highlights some great moments from the comics, is actually way better than I remember it.  The scene where Phoenix wakes up and is Wolverine, damn, Janssen nails all the conflict going on there.  It’s not an easy role, and I’m just blown away by how good she does.  

What doesn’t work: Pretty much everything else.  First of all - killing off Cyclops.  I realize that James Marsden probably didn’t give a shit at that point - and was in another movie at the time, but it’s a shame that the character never had proper development.  

And then the stupid explanation for the Phoenix.  Look - I get that the comics’ explanation -- that the Phoenix is a space entity is a little silly too.  But saying that Xavier has just been holding her back her second personality the whole time?  I mean really?  It feels weak. 

And then -- the last third of the movie, where this really powerful entity is sidelined because you can’t overshadow Magneto.  I mean.  C’mon.  I’m glad their giving this story line another shot.  

Plot #.5 - Magneto takes over everything.  I mean, this devolves from the cure story line - and was kinda inevitable, but this is where the film starts to become a heaping pile of mess.  

What works: The action is pretty solid.  It’s the first time in the franchise that there are some really cool action sequences - including the classic Fastball Special (Colossus throwing Wolverine) and Storm getting to actually use her powers.  

What doesn’t: Magneto’s villainy comes straight out of the Silver Age. It’s so over the top - it borders on parody.  

The last third of the movie is /just/ action - to the point that it feels gratuitous.  

There are too many mutant cameos.  And too many mutants in general.  Were the Morlocks really needed?  And why add in all these random, D-list mutants when some of the other bigger names **coughgambitcough** weren’t included.  

Other Things: 

The score - omg, the score is so over the top.  It’s entertaining, but also kind of overdoes the emotional moments.  

The danger room sequence at the beginning is a lot of fun.  About time we saw a DR sequence.  Bonus points for the sentinel.  

I did enjoy the Wolverine/Storm dynamic throughout.  

This is the first time it didn’t feel like a Wolverine film - which was actually nice.  

I’m glad Storm had so much more to do.  Halle Berry still didn’t feel like her though. 

Cyclops had awesome sunglasses. 

Ellen Paige as Kitty Pryde was a perfect casting choice - I wish there had been more of her. 

Oh man, all the ethics discussions in this.  And Xavier’s speech leads to the after credit ending where he’s still alive.  (For what purpose? They never really go anywhere with it I suppose.) 

The addition of Moira MacTaggart is a nice touch. 

The Morlocks felt like too much.  Also - I had to look up to see if Callisto was actually Callisto.  Where’s the eyepatch? 

All the stuff with Mystique felt dumb.  

God - the Juggernaut stuff is so awful.  The costume is just...wrong.  And was it really worth his inclusion just to do that stupid meme? 

Took me forever to figure out that Multiple Man was played by McSteamy.  Also - again another waste of a character when he’s only in one real scene.  

I still like Wolverine and Rogue’s friendship.  (Again - I miss Rogue!!) 

Wolverine against Magneto always cracks me up.  

It’s also hilarious that Wolverine’s clothes rip off as he’s trying to get to Jean at the end.  It’s so Romance-novelesque that it comes off a little like parody (which ruins the otherwise nice emotional moment).  

Final Thoughts: 5/10.  It was way more entertaining than I remembered it, and some **gasp** actual good moments. But the fact that there are too many things going on, not enough screen time for everyone, botching some key comic-y things, and that it devolves into explosions for the last 1/3 of the film earns it the reputation it has.