#she doesnt know how to live for herself
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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ok one more thing. absolutely criminal that phi and akane don't interact more in ztd because to me they could be besties...... if you even care
#trevor.txt#girls who are living paradoxes <3#and also so very autistic and Love to infodump#vlr/ztd spoilers in tags ->#well. i do think any interactions between them would be sort of awkward considering phi mostly knows akane as herself in 2074 co-running#the nonary game there. like shes not zero but she def helped sigma work on it. so i do think phi would not really trust her all that much#for a while. she doesnt trust easily anyways but. yk. if they get past that though i think they could be good friends. theyre both so insan#also another thing they have in common . they both burned to death. and live at One point in timelines where they died#aka d-end 2 for phi and any 999 end where junpei doesnt save akane#but past how Insane they are as characters i think a conversation between them would be funny#infodumping for 2 hours straight. theyd be like fuck yes lets talk about multiple timelines and physics and the morphogenetic field and#psychology. itd be funny trust#zero escape#zero escape phi#phi vlr#akane kurashiki#999#9 hours 9 persons 9 doors#virtue's last reward#vlr#ztd#zero time dilemma#phiposting
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longlegs is a movie about mother/daughterhood for real. throws up thinking about it actually
#LONGLEGS SPOILERS IN THE TAGS#Dont look if you dont want spoilers plsssss <3#didnt looooove it btw i have my mixed feelings and criticisms but! i did like it. and liked a lot about it...#feeling left with this dreadful feeling about being trapped in childhood and trauma and your mother trying to keep you there#and doing so much so you Can grow up but still not really letting you and keeping all of you in her house and keeping your memories of -#certain events to 'protect' you and just making it harder for you and then keeping up with these phone calls and of course doing all of -#what she did to keep her little girl alive so she could grow up and none of it mattered as long as her little girl got to grow up and be -#herself and not have to worry about all of those things shes doing or that happened... even though they still directly affect her and make#her life a living hell... shes tormented by it... and phone calls and interactions with her mother feel terrible... but she loves her#and she trusts her and she doesnt know what to do with her... or how to feel... and she wants answers andhgkshdfk GAHH its good#all of lees hair and teeth and nails and all of her things from childhood still in that house... in her room... all of her memories are in#that room... including clues to That One... god#longlegs spoilers#longlegs 2024 spoilers
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the thing about the charming siblings is i want to make them tragic. you're perfect, I wish I was perfect. you're allowed to not be perfect. I resent you for being perfect. I hate you for being imperfect. I want to be a boy. I want to be a knight. I want to be you. I could be better than you. I wish your destiny was mine. I wish people loved me the way they love you. I wish she loved me the way she loves you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I love you. I miss when we were friends. we never talk anymore. do you even care? you know nothing about me. you took my destiny. who am I? I'm supposed to be the responsible one. don't leave me. get away from me. when did you grow out of being a little kid? i miss home. the only place that feels like home is you. do you love her? do you love me? brother. sister. i was supposed to protect you. I'm sorry. I forgive you. nothing will ever be the same again.
it's about perfection and performance. it's about playing roles. everyone has their role to play. what if i want to be something else, something more. it's about femininity and masculinity. it's about not fitting in to either. is it about who you're supposed to be or who you want to be? I did it for you. I didn't ask for that. I'd burn the world for you. you never cared about me. I think of you always. there isn't room enough for all of us. i wish you'd never been born at all. I couldn't live without you.
#the thing about dexter and darling is they have a lot of parallels#they both thought their love interests (raven and apple) liked daring#they both wish they were like daring (though in different ways)#neither of them have a confirmed destiny#but at the same time dexter gets to be a prince and do the things she wants to do#and i think Dexter is sort of jealous of her because as another prince he gets compared to daring more#Dexter resents his siblings for being seemingly perfect and he also resents darling for how she doesnt even have to be perfect#bc she doesnt get compared to daring in his eyes#darling does feel the need to be perfect though and resents that she can't live the life she wants but her brothers get that life#daring TO ME has a superiority complex to cover up his flaws bc hes severely scared of being imperfect#but at the same time he wishes he was allowed to be imperfect bc the pressure is killing him#hes relied on false bravado for so long that he doesn't know who is without that especially when he loses his destiny#so he resents darling for her effortless confidence in who she is#i think they all used to be super close and daring felt like the one who needed to protect his siblings#but they grew apart as they got older and started to resent each other and he lost that protective instinct#but they all miss when they were closer#i think daring realizes he was “supposed” be the one protecting his siblings once darling starts protecting/saving him#to darling its too late for him to protect her bc she can protect herself and doesnt want to be protected#to dexter though i think a part of him wishes daring stood up for and protected him more#they all desperately need to be flawless but its killing them#and they all desperately want to be each other#and they all just want their siblings back#but they can't go back to when they were children#and they can't understand each other as they are now#but they love each other anyways#even as they resent each other#eah#ever after high#ignore that i wrote 50 million more things in the tags#i realize this may be out of character or whatever but idc
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rewatching scrapper it makes me v happy ^^
#it’s a movie about like. a kid whos mum died and she lives by herself#and then her dad shows up one day and hes like. really young and doesnt know how to be a dad but he tries and it’s really sweet#like imagine if they made the generic heartwarming movie good it’s like. that
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Lily would never be a feminist she doesn’t support women at all
REAL AND TRUE !!!!!
she only becomes a feminist if she gets to become an adult.. 🤍
#i actually agree with this in a canon compliant setting 😭😭#like i answered renns ask before about lily and how my favorite is problematic lily who only sees her own pov#and only ever distances herself from severus when he personally offends her#i very much believe she was one of the boys type of girl and engaged in a lot of girl on girl hate during her teenage years#only difference is that if she wouldve lived i think she would divorce james and have her awakening <3#and she would get therapy to deal with the trauma of the heteronormative martyr narrative that was pushed on her 🤍#she doesnt have the time space or freedom to get to know herself until she reaches adulthood#which in canon she doesnt:/#asks
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blorbos from my brain
#beloved villainxcivilian wip. i need to draw you#post unrelated to previous few. mostly#if anyone's reading this post and curious: vague superhero/villain-containing setting; mc is a woman who gets out of a shit relationship#w a local hero by selling his work laptop to a local villain and using the money to flee the province/whatever with her cat & suitcase.#gets set up w a tiny apartment. barely leaves. severe anxiety that she's gonna be tracked down by either her ex or the villain to tie up lo#loose ends#eventually unwinds enough to leave; takes a 3rd shift at an ancient tiny library with old archives#local supervillain (not that she knows at first) becomes a repeat visitor looking over the old city blueprints and hwhatnot on file#eventually unwinds enough to start a mayyybe situationship#he's not blind she's clearly very distrusting n nervous even if she's got a crazy good customer service face so he's very slow abt it#lets her set the pace of whatever they're doing#which simultaneously reassures her and makes her nervous#because it could be a mask. it could be a trap. she literally has no way to really know#gets worse when the truth about his profession comes out#mental breakdown. lots of yelling. butter knife brandished like a weapon (<- taken very seriously)#once shit settles a lot of time is dedicated to figuring out how they want to continue this. if they want to#given that there is realistically a crazy power dynamic between them. she's an immigrant who had to uproot herself from literally everyone#and everything she knows and has; has no support system in a country she is technically not legally supposed to be in;#he is very influential; having both notable scores of money socked away and a potentially a mole in the local policing force#if he wanted to make her disappear in one way or another it would not be difficult for him#much how her ex was becoming. extremely overbearing so to speak#so Yah trying to navigate that. very serious discussions if they can make that work out or if they should split#bc i want a happy ending i think they make it work! not sure about the specifics but theyre good#i think he doesnt realize how badly shes fucked up until at some point after The Breakdown he puts together that she's the reason the hero#in a few provinces away got completely Fucked by the local villain scene#and putting that together with her severe anxiety and not-great living situation. why she would've possibly done that#anyways. the inspiration for this all was mostly out of distaste for most of the romantasy books i have to see in various fandom tags#male love interest who doesn't really respect boundaries VS. m.l.i. who is extremely respectful of boundaries while managing to remain a vi#villain by the laws of the genre/setting/otherwise plot#(and asking the question of what does villainy mean in this context)
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gahhhh i want to put more twin peaks on my blog but dont want to spoil myself :(
#mine#ugh you know i utterly hate donna & james#i think thats on purpose though#bc the whole show is about how life doesnt really make very much sense right#& laura is kind of the central point of this#in that she presented herself as the perfect 'normal' girl#but she was really very fucked up#and through that we get to see the weird reality behind that facade#and james & donna kind of do 2 things within that#1. theyre still kind of in lauras fake world? theyre living a facade#2. they (as the normative ones) are written & acted as very cheesy and over the top#making them annoying and obviously fake#which is fine. interesting even#however i think that theyre given far too much screentime considering they seem to be purposefully annoying and fake#its so so annoying to have to watch them do their stupid “oh james are you sure its okay for us to be together” mwah mwah bullshit#+ they dont fit#& that may be on purpose but it kind of ruins the immersion to have so much of them on screen#bc the whole world is weird & abnormal & they arent#aaghhhh i cant stop thinking about this show#twin peaks#anyway. audrey <3333 that man is too old.#i love her sm though <333
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Ze during the Railway Workers' Day event
#soft looks soft smiles 🫶#glad he had an event he could enjoy today#(of course he still honoured everyone especially the ones who died)#but god knows how much he probably sometimes craves these events#just “people events” or culture or history#or something like that#anything that is not war and death and torture and war crimes and destruction and horror and terror#just...things he can enjoy#interact with people#giving his brain some new food (as well as his soul) outside of politics and presidency#bonus points if olena can attend#just having a tiny little bit of normalcy#i sometimes think about Olenas interviews where she talks about that normalcy and how she tries to create and preserve it for the kids#(and herself)#and i wonder if she may can do this a bit easier because they can imitate a normal life and household with taking care and cleaning...#...and school and so on#but vova is stuck in bankova 24/7/365#the moment he opens his eyes until the moment he closes them again is always about work#and we know even in his sleep he cares about work#he doesnt have any normalcy even though (unfortunately) living in bankova and working all the time now it is#(which we know he doesn't see as normalcy normalcy)#(he misses his family and their life he craves the old life)#so i wonder if these events are feeling like...normalcy#like being able to take a “break”#just taking a breath#just doing something ...nice#even though the war is still present even there#but different#just doing what he loves and what gave him energy (and probably still gives him energy)
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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pondering the kirsch siblings orb yet again and you really cannot convince me that quinn would not have been moving like depression era bella in new moon from the moment she even FOUND OUT richie was moving to modesto...
#like bc LISTEN.#anyone with eyes can tell richie was clearly her everything 😭#and idt she was super young bc i hc he moved out about 1-2 yrs b4 the events of 5cream#and richie wouldve still been 23-24#but just given how close they were + how spoiled he was at home LMAO idt she wouldve Expected him to leave 'so soon'#read: EVER or at least before the twins graduated hs#so i think that news hit her like the final destination 2 log truck. like that HURT. DEVASTATED her even. esp given the distance bc-#i hc the kirsches as Wisconsin People (source: kinda sorta radio silence but also my besties knowledge of Wisconsin People)#so from wherever the hell wisconsin to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?! ik quinn was crying screaming throwing up like that was the worst day of her LIFE#up until then at least. like maybe she was onto smth bc nothing GOOD came of him moving there.#but yeah no i think she was absolutely moping about emo as hell feeling like a piece of her was literally missing.#bc and i think this goes wrt both of her brothers but since im kirschcest pilled yk theres an extra element there#quinn is very like family oriented in general and i think she doesnt know how to think of herself/what to do w herself if shes not like.#being their sister. best way i can put it thats not so convoluted but ykwim. like so it just does Not feel natural for her#for them to be apart & SO far away from each other. i think it wouldnt be nearly as big a deal if he moved out but stayed even just in stat#the only bright spot for her wouldve been 1) getting to visit and 2) getting the idea that she could just go out there for college#then yippee!! the whole gang is reunited!#bc obvi ethan is coming with. im ngl i do not even think she would ask or be like 'so i wanna move to cali to be close to richie hbu?'#i think she'd assume like well theyve been together their whole lives? why WOULDNT ethan go along?? 😭#and she's right except he is 100% agreeing bc he'd be with HER#but thats another post and or tag essay#ceci speaks#scream franchise#scream vi#kirsch siblings#richie kirsch#quinn bailey
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universe should stop putting me in situations 😭
#my mother made me go to dentist bc she doesnt wanna go there herself (aka i need to check this place out- whatever it's stupid)#convinced me how it's good for me and shit#fine fine i can take that opinion readily#now my father spawns with a plan to do smth and he is like why are u going to dentist#they gonna scam u there#and now he is upset his plans are messed with#im annoyed#all bc these bitches arent talking to each other!!!#i am a pawn at their mercy!!! at all times !!!!!!#adry.txt#this is even sounds stupid like as a story i know#imagine how dumb this is to live thru LMAO
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been making concepts for magical girl adukin au.. i am forming a semi-consistent plot & having fun.. i might draw some other characters in magical girl outfits even if ive sort of laid out what the "canon" magical girls are for the au, but idk who i would draw.. maybe fusakin and syumitaro because well. ones a balloon with a human body and the other is God
#ekurambles#i really like this au if i am being honest even if it is just for funsies.. been working on it inbetween doodles and requests#i have a lot of things jotted down on how adukin even like.. became a magical girl in the first place#& i definitely think it could tie into her feelings in the maingame after the events of mo3#with her feeling like she wasnt as good of a person as jack is but instead of getting manipulated by mdcr#she sacrifices her own selfworth to act more like a hero and force herself to be someone she isnt (“magical girl adu”)#rather than accept who she is and not try to live as a cheap copy of someone who already loves & cares abt her *for* who she is.#taking on a much more dangerous nightlife as a magical girl just to feel like she can amount to any of what jack has done#& that'd probably also lead into jack and his magical boy form where he just wants to help protect her even though adukin hates that idea#she knows she can protect herself and she knows jack isnt trying to say that shes weak (he thinks shes really fucking strong)#but she cant accept his help without accepting herself first otherwise shes just going to keep comparing herself to someone-#-who already thinks shes perfect as the foulmouthed yet kind numa that she is#+ the whole thing with bachikin being the villain shes trying to defeat even if she doesnt know that#because like. she loves bachikin. it is an adubachi-based au afterall#bachikin is only doing these things to create what she thinks is a perfect world#where it's just her and adukin and nobody can judge them or keep them apart#shes been an awful person in the past and she doesnt know how to handle these emotions shes feeling#so she thinks that she has to deal with it the same way that she's dealt with all of her problems in the past#taking what she wants (adukin) and not letting anyone else near her#and bachikin is completely unaware that adukin is the one trying to stop her from doing this#probably in part because she doesnt want to believe that adukin wouldnt also want to live in that idealized world shes created for them-#-in her mind.#...Ok i gotta shut the fuck up this is way too long.
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thinking about how v gravitates towards short-ish hair for many many reasons but one of them is that it doesn matt that easily
#sammy says shit#like... yeah she's nasty and proud#but she's nasty because she doesnt know how to take care of herself#never learned it#and mind you she doesnt make this connection#but i DO#and just bc i wanna mention it#yeah that changes in the happy au#but not entirely because of johnny and the romance they have#but because the whole relic thing made her realise she cant live like she has been#YES johnny helped her heal#but he's not the entire reason she did#i need to make this very clear#like i love love and being in love#and love is the strongest force in the world yadda yadda BUT#well you get it#oc:v
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i feel a little disappointed that the reason victoria hated rachel was that she was jealous. imo if there's a character who everyone in-universe loves and is fascinated by, there should be someone who doesn't like them. someone who either thinks they're an awful person or someone just who just doesn't buy into their charms and doesn't see why anyone else would. to have it all explained away as jealousy (which is almost another form of admiration in itself) isn't as compelling to me
#what i think is far more interesting is victoria being jealous of *max*#who doesn't have half of her money or status.#but i think rachel should have somebody who earnestly doesnt believe shes all that interesting or talented.#maybe you could frame it as victoria seeing the same traits she hates in herself in rachel#like being manipulative or attention-seeking#but the difference is that with rachel; no one notices. everyone else finds her genuine#but with victoria; she's hated for those same traits. she knows how people talk about her.#and victoria resents having to live in rachel's shadow; both after and during rachel's life.#combine that with victoria being the only person who could see through rachel and not finding her all that special#or rachel having wronged her specifically (other than the tea thing in bts)#that could be fascinating and deepen both victoria and rachel's characters#idk there are so many routes they could go with this and victoria being just jealous because rachel is prettier or whatever seems like the-#least interesting one#does that make sense? i'm just rambling haha
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"in a completely predictable twist of fate literally everyone saw coming, youve put yourself in danger again. this is great. i love when you put yourself in danger it doesnt make me insane in the head at all. i wish you would stop doing this. i know youre not gonna. so im just gonna do whatever i can that will make you get yourself, and also us i guess, out of danger again"
#i love yaz#i feel like this is basically a permanent state she lives in from revolution onward#maybe it already was before that but i think timeless children+revolution made the doctor a lot more fragile to her#like how easily she actually might just die and how it would very easily just kinda be by her own hand like#kinda sunk in i think#maybe yazs situation is less 'i can fix her' and more 'i can save her from herself'#and she Can#probably#but damn its like a 24/7 kinda job that#'i cant keep doing this with you' no i can imagine girlie do you sleep#do you knock her out wiht sedatives so you can sleep fghkjghjk#minkowski style#i also love when yaz prompts her. i dont actually know if she does it more than like ryan or graham but it feels like she does it#relatively a lot#and i like it#third thing i love is taking the tiniest canon things and blowing them up to really not canon anymore proportions and playing with that#like what if 13s depressive/hopeless streak+immense pressure she puts on herself re: saving people turns into this like#drop of a hat type shutdowns whenever theres a thing she doesnt immediately have a solution for#and its not like shes incapable of generating ideas right obviously#but i Can imagine - with her....state of mind - that sometimes it can take like half a second longer for her brain to actually start genera#ing those ideas#and so for that half a second shes basically like a rat swimming in a bucket and just Stops#and yaz has to be like hey yo dont forget you exist. keep moving#and then she keeps moving again and shes fine#well not fine but like. moving#i think abt yaz innnnnn resolution when shes like 'doctor i dont like it when you go quiet'#and how in spyfall is the first time she goes still etc#i think its so jarring when 13 goes still and quiet like its basically the cloister bell ringing its a clear sign smth is Wrong#and i think her options are either That or like. frantic inhuman need to move. like its Move or Not Move and neithe ris great but MOve feel#slightly less bad
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