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#she wants to catch up tomorrow
seariii · 8 months
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Hum...
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good-beans · 1 year
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My indulgent hope for Love is (Un)dead is that no matter how sad Mahiru is, it will end with a burst of anger like Fuuta’s did. Something along the lines of: Es mentions how her guilty vote was partially because they(we) got no info from TIHTBILWY and figured she was hiding something dark. Mahiru is offended we wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt and goes "oh you want more information? I'll fucking give you information"
And then I Love You proceeds to knock our socks off with details of the murder 👍
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no yeah I’m getting def getting reassessed for adhd because this ain’t it, chief
#sillyposting#2 more friends just told me I sound like them when they’re off their meds. cool cool cool#my mom said today I make her anxious because she worries about my deadlines more than I do lol#being a student again has really made me say yeah girl you really ARE a hot mess#unfortunately my next appointment with my NP is in a month and they don’t have anything sooner#just refer me somewhere now mannn I wanna get on a waitlist 😓#I’m genuinely in distress trying to focus on important tasks due to boredom#I could be writing rn *buzzer noise* I could just do this tomorrow *buzzer noise*#I already have 30 tasks overdue. what’s one more? what’s the rush? *buzzer noise*#making a to-do list is boring and also scary therefore I refuse to do it *buzzer noise*#I could be sleeping right now *buzzer noise*#I could be researching and writing a paper on a special interest right now *buzzer noise*#I have no concept of what all I need to get done but it’s okay bc my happiness right now is more important#*buzzer noise*#I have no clue what any of my classmates are talking about#because I haven’t kept up with the readings and assignments like they did#but that’s okay I’ll catch up later *buzzer noise*#I’ll take a break and come back. I’ll take a break and come back. I’ll take a break and come back. *buzzer noise*#I’ll start this task and switch to this next one and man I’m bored so I’ll go to the next thing I need to do and man this is boring too#*buzzer gets stuck*#tired of life being one never-ending game of catch-up. I just want to do things without needing a gun to my head#I’ve BEEN saying saying this since high school
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humanmorph · 4 months
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the newest episode description sounds kind of intriguing honestly? but I'll wait on words from my Palisade correspondents (mutuals on the dash)
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orcelito · 2 months
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ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.
like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo
i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.
#speculation nation#the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again#it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way#and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me#but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet#ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me#on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE#the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger#it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes#she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too#...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol#negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.
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aromanticasterisms · 1 year
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As anyone who has ever listened to me talk about Lightning Gods for 2 seconds knows, I personally am not too fond of the Thunder Legion backstory we got from it. Partially because I am a childhood friends Thunder Legion truther, but mostly because I didn’t agree with the characterization choice that had them decide to follow Laxus after…that.
But I understand why it is the way it is, and more than that, I can see now that it does a fairly decent job at using what little space and time there was available to tie into the main focus of the story of Lightning Gods. Namely, Laxus’s and the Thunder Legion’s views on strength, the trust that all of them have in each other, and how that manifests in different ways.
Let’s begin with an overview on the Thunder Legion’s obsession with strength and duty, where it came from, and how it has changed forms over time.
The backstory for the Thunder Legion proposed in Lightning Gods is this:
Freed, Bickslow, and Evergreen team up to take on a job, only to find when they get there that Laxus has already finished it on a whim. They exchange some harsh words, and not long after they descend into a fight. Laxus beats them easily, and the three of them are awed and frightened by his strength and power.
Laxus, meanwhile, surprises them by complimenting them […sort of] on being the strongest guild members he’s seen in a long time, in giving him a good fight.
This event is what inspires the three of them decide to band together to form the Thunder Legion—a team dedicated to watching Laxus’s back. It is also the event that sets up their mentality further down the line: physical and magic strength are the most desirable traits one can have, and by continuing to be strong and interesting, they are allowed to stand by Laxus’s side.
Cut to years later, when the most obvious culmination of the Thunder Legion’s obsession with strength takes place: the Battle of Fairy Tail.
The entire point of the game is to weed out the weak from the strong, to create a stronger guild for Laxus to inherit. On his orders, the Thunder Legion are utterly merciless to anyone they deem weaker than themselves.
At first, this seems like purely blind loyalty, but as time goes on, we get a glimpse that it might be more than that. Specifically, right after Evergreen’s loss, we see that the standing the Thunder Legion has with Laxus isn’t a whole lot more solid than the rest of the guild, right now.
The moment Evergreen is beaten by Erza, Laxus re-categorizes her in his mind from strong to weak, and is ready to discard her, saying that he doesn’t need her in his Fairy Tail.
Freed expresses that he or Bickslow should have gone instead—not that Evergreen is weak, not that they don’t need her, but that Erza is simply too strong, and they should have sent someone better suited to counter her.
He then tells Laxus that the game is over, the battle lost, and Laxus tells him that unless he is willing to do exactly as he says with no hesitation, Laxus doesn’t need him in his guild either.
After this exchange, we now know that the Thunder Legion are only standing beside Laxus because they are strong. If they are weak, if they falter in their duties, they will be abandoned, discarded, and replaced.
The three of them are beaten, the game is lost, and Laxus is exiled. They slowly begin to settle back into the guild, to reconnect and mend bridges. But that obsession with strength and duty that the Thunder Legion has cultivated has not completely gone away—merely changed forms.
After all, few of their guild mates can stop themselves from commenting on how ridiculously strongthe Thunder Legion are. Many of them saw their magical strength firsthand, so the three of them are desperate to prove that their abilities can be put to good use.
When it comes to fighting strength, their mindset is one of protecting their guild mates no matter the personal cost. For Freed and Bickslow, we tend to see this manifest outwardly, as continually attempting to sacrifice themselves for their loved ones. For Evergreen, we see this manifest more as an internal struggle, as blaming herself for not being strong enough, and thinking that her lack of ability is what causes others to be hurt.
When Freed is selected to take place in the S-Class trials, with Bickslow as his partner, the two of them are paired up against Lucy and Cana. They proceed to throw the fight in the girls’ favor, allowing them to move forward. Freed says he owes it to the two of them specifically, after what happened in the Battle of Fairy Tail.
Later, when Evergreen and Elfman are targeted by Rustyrose and defeated by him, Evergreen blames herself for not being strong enough, and says that if it weren’t for her, if Elfman had picked a different partner, he may have been able to succeed.
In the Key of the Starry Sky arc, Bickslow throws himself in the way of an attack to save Wendy, and even insists that she should abandon him and save herself—abandoning a comrade who is nothing more than dead weight is still a viable strategy in his eyes.
“Sometimes you gotta have the courage to leave your friends behind too!”
However, unlike Laxus [who I’ll talk about later], the Thunder Legion largely understands that there are different types of strength. Laxus judged himself and others using solely fighting strength as a metric, but the guild as a whole requires a more diverse skill set to deal with a range of day-to-day issues, which the Thunder Legion commit to their comrades with just as much enthusiasm.
Freed’s mission with Wendy is a good example of this. The Master—and Cana, of all people, who Freed feels he has a personal debt to—entrusts not only Wendy’s safety to him, but also her growth and development as a mage. He follows the rules set by them to the utmost of his abilities, even having a minor crisis when his two duties conflict, and he doesn’t know which course of action is the right one to take.
When there is a clear course of action, though, he’s quick to take it, utilizing his runes and his blade for all manner of things that have nothing to do with fighting.
At one point during the journey, Happy comments:
“That’s the Thunder Legion for you! Always there in a time of need!”
It’s clear that by this point, they have already established a reputation for being incredibly reliable and dependable, despite the fact that this is quite soon after the Battle of Fairy Tail, and the three of them rarely spent time in the guild hall beforehand.
These feelings of needing to be strong and useful so people keep them around linger on even past Fairy Tail’s disbanding, into Lightning Gods. The three of them are incredibly eager to be helpful to Laxus.
Evergreen reinforces this when they step up to destroy the Vesper Blockade Mirror for the first time:
“Let’s show them why you keep us around.”
She says this in tandem with Bickslow, who says Laxus won’t enjoy destroying an object. The three of them step forward to do work that, they assume, Laxus would find tedious or boring.
Not long after they figure out how to destroy the mirror, the priestess Weyse shows her true colors as a Zeref fanatic, and takes on the powers of the demon God of Nightfall.
The God of Nightfall is, quote:
“…a type of magic that shows people illusions of the doubts and fears…and traumas…they carry deep inside.”
To torment the Thunder Legion in the illusion, Weyse begins with this:
“Oh, you guys! As if he could rely on you! You call yourselves his bodyguards, but at the slightest threat you just bleat out for him. No wonder he gets hurt worst of all.”
This doesn’t seem to affect them at all, as all three’s responses are rather unimpressed.
“Yeesh. What terrible lines.” “I guess she’s trying to rattle us.”
This showcases their understanding of who Laxus is as a person. They’ve followed him for years now, so they’re well aware of what he’s capable of, and more importantly, what he’s like, and what he tends to do.
The Thunder Legion is incredibly confident in Laxus. They trust him more than perhaps anyone else, and want more than anything else to protect him and keep him safe.
However, they are also well aware that they cannot control his actions. Especially after the stunt he pulled just before Tartaros. He gets hurt worst of all because he tends to insist on doing things on his own, whether it’s to prove himself, to enjoy a fight more, or because he wants to keep everyone safe. When the people he cares about are in danger, he jumps in to help, and sometimes pushes himself to the point of self-destruction. This is a trait that many mages in Fairy Tail share, and the Thunder Legion understands this.
But they trust him, and they trust him to know his limits.
When he stops them from interfering in his fight against Maiden Quartet, they listen. Their trust manifests as standing back while Laxus fights and waiting for a cue, or helping to mitigate the damage his fight causes on their surroundings. Laxus knows that all he needs to do is ask for help, or offer an invitation, and the Thunder Legion will be right there beside him.
Freed knows this, and he rebuts Weyse like so:
“We trust each other. If Laxus is fighting on the front lines, we’ve only got to run in and support him!”
Of course, Weyse twists his words around and hits them where it hurts:
“So what you’re saying is, he steps up to fight because you’re too weak to do it yourselves.” “You’re his bodyguards, aren’t you? Right? But something terrible is bound to happen to your precious Laxus, the way you guard him.”
Laxus fights because they can’t. Because they’re incapable of it. The Thunder Legion is a burden to him, an inconvenience, and holding him back from his true potential. He doesn’t need them, and he knows it; soon enough, they will stop being useful, and Laxus will leave them behind.
That’s what hurts them, that’s what spurs them to fight and protect the illusion of Laxus with everything they have—not just the concept of being weak, but the idea of being unneeded and abandoned by the person they care for the most.
“Laxus always steps up to fight…because we’re so weak!” “Even though we go around callin’ ourselves his bodyguards!!” “We’re just holding Laxus back!”
Unbeknownst to the Thunder Legion, though, Laxus has been going through his own development during Lightning Gods—namely, discovering just what kind of strength he can bring to his family in order to make them feel safe and protected.
When Laxus and the Thunder Legion join Blue Pegasus, they are confronted with a very different guild experience, in terms of jobs and the people around them. Being a Blue Pegasus member requires a different set of skills and strengths than Fairy Tail members are used to, and Laxus specifically has a difficult time adjusting. But as he’s floundering, he can see the Thunder Legion fitting in with the guild and taking to their tasks with ease.
“I don’t know…but you three are doing great.” “But I just recall how…Fairy Tail was full of people who’d understand me, even just through our fists and fights.”
This is played somewhat for comedy, as the Thunder Legion find Laxus’s awkwardness endearing. But Laxus is genuinely having a hard time wrapping his head around the way the guild operates and adjusting to it. More than that, he’s utterly baffled by the idea that someone like Ichiya could be so respected and adored when he is, compared to Laxus and the Thunder Legion, not all that strong or powerful.
He mentions that they shouldn’t go to assist him—since the others respect him so much, he assumes Ichiya must be strong enough to save himself:
“But he’s actually super powerful despite how he acts, right? So just wait for him to come back on his own.”
What others might see as abandonment is Laxus’s idea of trust—putting faith in another person’s ability to handle themselves, and not insulting their strength by rushing in to rescue them.
But the members of Blue Pegasus quickly correct him, bringing up the many weaknesses that Ichiya has that make him vulnerable. Laxus wonders if there’s anything good about him at all, and how someone with so many weaknesses—that are apparently common knowledge—could be so idolized by everyone around them.
Despite his overall reluctance to engage with the situation, Laxus goes to rescue Ichiya, on the basis that they’re from the same guild, and anyone who messes with guild members is an enemy—not because he looks up to Ichiya, something he quite vehemently denies.
In the process of rescuing him, though, Ichiya himself takes a blow from Laxus meant for his captor, and tells Laxus not to fight, “out of respect for his gorgeous face”. Laxus takes this as an insult.
“Is this a joke?! Huh?! We came here to rescue you, because you’d been kidnapped. And now this? Was this some game to you? And you want me to respect your face? You think you can mess with me and I’m just gonna take it?”
In his mind, if Ichiya is so respected, he must have been strong enough to escape this entire time, and waited until the most inopportune moment to do so. He interfered with the rescue attempt, made light of Laxus’s attempt to help, and wasted his time.
However, Ichiya replies:
“This was no game. And no one is messing with you. Thank you for coming to my rescue.” “I honestly didn’t think you four would be the first ones here. Fighting on a joyous day like this…would hardly be the classy thing to do! Let’s go home and open up some champagne.”
Laxus seems surprised by this, and remains in thoughtful silence for a long while, even all the way back to the guild. Ichiya approaches him, and Laxus finally admits:
“So, look. I don’t get you at all. You don’t stand out as some powerful dude…but look how much they all worship you.”
Ichiya responds that it’s because he’s good-looking, much to the irritation of Laxus. However, the Trimen speak up once Ichiya leaves, saying that’s his true strength. The Thunder Legion take the word strength to mean the same kind of power they see in Laxus; an insurmountable might that puts one above other people. Hibiki corrects them:
“He may seem unreliable to you. But…when the moment calls for it, he’ll even use his body to defuse a crisis, even without magic…and isn’t that another kind of strength? That’s our Ichiya. We can feel safe with him.”
It’s not about physical or magical strength. It’s his strength of character that the members of Blue Pegasus are drawn to; they trust that he is the type of person to do everything in his power to keep conflict from breaking out, even if it means bringing harm to something he prides himself on quite highly.
This sticks with Laxus.
When he and the Thunder Legion head out to the village of Rugosa for the request put forth by the priestess Weyse, Laxus wonders to himself just what sort of strength he brings to his family.
After Weyse begs them to help, and speaks rather tearfully about not wanting to lose her home, Laxus is immediately swayed to get serious about her cause. He makes an effort to destroy the Vesper Blockade Mirror, and goes to great lengths to defeat Nasser, whom Laxus believes is trying to destroy his own home—something that Laxus takes very personally, because he [mistakenly] sees his past self in Nasser.
“So your mission is more important than your home? That thought process…makes my blood boil!!”
Nasser asks him why he’s risking his life for this. Says it seems foolish, since this is just another quest for him. Laxus flashes back to the Battle of Fairy Tail.
“I’ve tried to destroy my own family…my guild…before. I thought I was doing it for the guild’s own good. But now I see that was a stupid, immature idea. And I’m pretty sure you’re gonna regret this, too!”
After Nasser’s defeat, the Thunder Legion destroy the Vesper Blockade Mirror, just as Laxus trusted them to do. And the demon God of Nightfall’s true identity is revealed. Nasser shares his side of the story and laments his inexperience, stating that despite being seen by the villagers as an outsider, Rugosa village is his only true home.
Laxus is immediately swayed to his cause, and vows to destroy the God of Nightfall. Nasser reprimands him, saying that it’s too dangerous, but Laxus insists—
“But if we do nothing, your home is gonna get destroyed.” “Look, no apology is ever gonna be enough for what happened. So let me protect your village. I have to…!!”
Nasser relents, and asks for his assistance in defending his home. But not before telling him:
“You lose sight of all around you the moment something important to you is involved, like one’s home or guild.” “Viewed in another light, I suppose some might call you stubbornly honest.”
The two of them rush back to the village to confront the God of Nightfall. Laxus goes to destroy it, but is blocked by the Thunder Legion’s attacks. Weyse reveals that the three of them see Laxus as the God of Nightfall and vice versa—this is quickly reinforced by their words, shouting that they’ll protect Laxus no matter what as they’re attacking him.
Then, of course—Laxus hears what they think. That they’re too weak to stand beside him, they’re holding him back, they can’t even do an adequate job of protecting him.
After snapping them out of the spell with his magic, Laxus tells them exactly how he feels, how he said he felt even in the midst of his fight with Nasser: he trusts them.
“Don’t be stupid, Thunder Legion!” “It’s only because I can trust you to have my back…that I can run forward to fight!”
He doesn’t say, you’re strong enough to stand beside me.
Instead, he tells them, I am only this strong because you’re here. Because you have my back. I could not have done any of this without you. I have faith in your abilities. I can trust you.
To have his back, to look out for him, and more than that, to understand him, when it seems like no one else can.
The three of them gather themselves, and step up to watch Laxus’s back, to assist him in fighting the God of Nightfall.
“It’s alright. The three of us…we will not falter!!” “Strength…weakness…the form it takes doesn’t matter. The desire to protect the people we care about is still the same.”
The God of Nightfall is defeated. Nasser returns to the village, having lost his magical power. The Thunder Legion lament this loss, saying that losing such strength seems like a waste, but Laxus seems to understand—it was worth it, if it means Nasser gets to return to his home.
The four of them leave Rugosa village, talking about Weyse’s betrayal and how impressive Laxus was during their fight. And, finally, they tell him what it is that he wants to hear:
“But you confirmed something for us.” “Thanks to you…we can rely on you and feel safe.”
His dedication to doing what’s right, to protecting other people’s homes and family, led him back to the village when he could have easily left everyone to wait for the Council instead. His strength and quick thinking saved the Thunder Legion from the God of Nightfall’s spell. His stubborn honesty snapped them out of their fear of failing him, of being too weak, of being left behind.
At last, Laxus says that he thinks he’s figured out a little bit about the strength that makes Ichiya so adored.
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perilegs · 4 months
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i'm going to my cousin's bday party tomorrow which is fun and great except that my mom is also going to be there. we don't talk. she literally skipped my other cousin's graduation party just bc i was there.
#for context shes a huge transphobe who wants nothing to do with me and thinks im soiling her good name just by existing#so. im not v excited about that.#but it's something i can handle and i have support around me!#what i however cannot handle are regular mom things. ive gained a lot of weight since i last saw her and#i cannot handle it if she comments on it im so stressed out about it bc she knows just what to say to hurt me#i got chubby after starting t and i think it suits me. especially if i start hitting the gym or something so i'll also have some strength#like im not looking to lose weight im looking to have a dad bod by my 30s#with my soft round features and curly hair i already look like a hobbit so i just need to get a little bit of muscle to complete the look#bc those bitches work outside i know how theyre built#i however cannot achieve that with just my office job so yknow#im mostly just saying this to motivate myself to excercise bc i know it makes me feel good but actually getting around to doing it is hard#also i would love to stop being weak#i just want to be able to lift heavier things#like. it's unhealthy how little i do rn and i dont feel good about it but school has been sucking the life out of me#so i dont have the energy to do things that will increase my mental wellbeing which. not ideal.#agh now that my thesis is done i might finally get around to doing stuff#after a while once my brain and body registers that i'm literally fine#anyways. im nervous about tomorrow.#but it's fine i'll get to catch up with the nice relatives too#leevi talks
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itsdappleagain · 1 year
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asjushusasadhshj we get to start rehearsing on the big stage on monday im so excited!!!!!!!!!
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permanentreverie · 2 years
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The way that first love: hatsukoi is just hurting and pain but so good
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touhoutivations · 9 months
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"Muahaha, foolish human...allow me to show you the true nature of misfortune...was that scary enough?"
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"Some people think fortune is just based on chance, which has some truth- but I tend to notice that misfortune is something that can pile up, because of a 'positive feedback loop'." "As an example- you're exhausted, you can't exercise or eat or do anything! But because you haven't eaten properly or exercised, you get even more tired- even more unable to eat, and so on. Your misfortune just keeps piling up! So what do you do?"
"The festival humans do for me is special not just because you have all these adorable dolls, but the very act of having a festival to float your misfortune away is something that's getting you out and breaking the cycle. The mentality of 'I have no misfortune now!' is just as crucial to helping yourself as it is to giving me faith that makes me help more! ...H-Huh?! No, I'm not just a placebo God, how impudent!"
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"Now I'm not saying 'it's a mindset' thing or that it's your fault, rather I want you to examine yourself and if you're contributing or stuck in a cycle, and how you can take yourself out of that cycle. Having food by your bedside, or trying to do passive stretches, or setting boundaries from toxic relationships. Self-care isn't all bubble baths and treats, it's about doing things that are good for you, even or especially if you don't feel like doing them."
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"Buuut, if you do want to try something good that feels nice, would you like to spin around and dance with me?"
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catchmewjsn · 10 months
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#honestly they moved me to a different office right now so im not alone in my place anymore and tbh i should not be complaining bc at least#this one gets warn fast and im not in the open first to call usually and all but idk i feel like an intruder there and miss having lots of#place and the fact noone seen my screen etc and just overall i would prefer sitting next to the guys but also 😶 idk i just dont like anyone#hearing my phone calls etc and also i fucked up at work today BADLY but noone knows yet and this sounds like i fuck up a lot but i always#called the smaller mistakes this too i guess shskd also i almsof argued with a man who's our client on the phone but for gods sake i do know#i am right and idk if he's making me feel stupid or something or is he using one of my mistakes for his own good idk idk idk it will be a#nightmare to make this work now#and also we are having some kind of meeting with food etc tomorrow in the office upstairs but also rhe atmosphere is so not it and dudes not#at work tomorrow and he should be the one in there and like idk it all works like a fucked up chaos i also almost argued with the d irector#today bc of this lmao almost on dude's behalf bc tht waa the situation that pissed me off first#and i got to walk or catch a bus home tomorrow and like my mind does work so fast and keeps overthinking lately 😕#walking isnt the best best for me tbh#also i made plans with my friend and i do hope i open to her during the weekend bc i want to talk about everything so badly but at the same#time idk like i cant talk about personal things anymore (except here) she doesn't know what is making w suffer 😔#i think i made a decision about monday tho not the best one but both were bad so at least here i am...#anyone i am still helpless and that's what the sentence will end at bc i don't want to say the same thing again and again and again#anywya i have to delete this bc its too much details soon
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pebblezone · 1 year
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There is lightning…. I am free🦦
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gottagobuycheese · 2 years
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genuinely truly wholeheartedly cannot fathom people who go running before work. what do you mean you don’t get out of bed 10-15 minutes before you need to be fully dressed, breakfasted, equipped, and out the door? why would you voluntarily wake up SEVERAL hours early and go get sweaty in the dark and cold and then have a shower in the MORNING only to go to work all day?? incomprehensible.
#context: my housemate and I went for a run/walk this evening and we remarked on how nice it was and how we should do it more often#but realistically the only way we'd be able to do it during the weekdays is before work#which like. lmao.#I'm sorry but your insomnia and my insomnia do not line up enough for this#the only person who comes to mind that I actually know does this is my high school ap chem teacher#but she also got her phd at 25 so she doesn't count#I do like running in the mornings the few times I've done it!#but the only way we'd be able to get it done before work here is well before sunrise#which I am intrinsically opposed to#and also if I have work right after I can't just come back home and go back to sleep or slouch on the couch for 3 hours straight#I was going to say something but there was this HUGE gust of wind and rain and other noises lashing my window and I forgot what it was#anyways in summary I still don't want to go to work tomorrow#and I'm rrrreeeaaaaallllyyyy hoping that the ‘don't want to be here’ energy of Friday carries over to today#phenomenal job on Friday 6 out of 8 of my co-worker's people didn't show up#I yearn for that sort of attendance#please. please give me nothing to do. let me catch up on my other stuff. you do not need to come in for this. this can be an email.#(to be fair I would also hate it if it were an email sdkjfhskfjh)#(...yeah actually maybe don't make it an email)#(but please please PLEASE no more backstories tragic or otherwise)#(please let it just be simple and straightforward enough to finish all my notes as they come)#(I still have to do Friday's because I slept like all of Saturday and half of today)#ah shoot and I still need to study...#you know what. I'm gonna have to say it: I miss December#Cheese's personal molasses#Cheese evaporates about...job??#okay I should go to sleep now and stop fantasizing about a tree missing everything but landing exactly across our driveway#rendering it impossible for us to go to work#OKAY STOP WHINING#IF WE MAKE IT THROUGH TOMORROW I'LL LET YOU DO SOMETHING ART RELATED A N D EAT SOME COOKIE DOUGH HOW'S THAT
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bibiana112 · 1 year
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The turtle shaped chocolate is 100% a brazilian thing right you guys don't have any of those?
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pixxyofice · 1 year
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tomorrow... i will Write More of the next korsimint fic hehe
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yuribalisms · 2 years
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If someone could just like…. Stab me through the eye that would be great idk
#idk what it is about today but I feel… terrible#not physically just mentally#and not even in a way that’s easy to place I just want to lay in the floor and melt into it#tbh I think it is premature exhaustion and anxiety ABOUT the exhaustion#because tomorrow we have two new apartment tours#and then Thursday (which is my other day off this week) I have that first therapy appointment#so my brain is not classifying either of those days as actual ‘days off’#(and I mean they’re not they will both be extremely draining)#AND THEN one of the store’s big managers insisted on doing the schedule instead of letting our department manager do it#so it’s sooooo fucked up and I won’t have a day off until NEXT Thursday and he scheduled me a bunch of inconsistent morning/evening shifts#so…. I am…. going to have literally no free time for like two weeks straight#no time to decompress no time to do things I think are fun no time to catch up on sleep#and my mom keeps messaging me about getting a new car which yes I need a new car and I WANT a new car and I’m finally in a position to GET#a new car#but she’s like ‘you have to go test drive a bunch of cars to find the one you REALLY want and then we’ll negotiate for it with you’#but I cannot stress enough that I would genuinely rather kill myself than go to a dealer ship and test drive cars by myself#I also just do not give a shit about cars there is never going to be one I ‘love’ because cars are cars I just want one that functions#I don’t CARE which one it is or how it drives or what the fuck ever I will NEVER care#but she keeps insisting I do it and I know they won’t help me go negotiate if I don’t do this first 😭#and I have a dentist appointment for the first time in like three years in a couple weeks and I know I probably have so many cavities#from when I got super depressed for like four months and didn’t brush my teeth at all#and I am just so overwhelmed#new apartment hunting new car shopping new therapist dentist appointment AAAGGGHHHH#I thought it might be a good idea to do it all at once so it’s all over with and I don’t have to have like four month period where it’s just#hopping from one thing to the other#except now I am just exhausted and overwhelmed and grumpy and feel like I can’t handle ANY of it let alone all of it#maybe one of the new apartments will go well tomorrow so at least I can cross that off and budget new rent prices….#ugh#kaz rambles
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