#she was already hanging out in the branches of any and all nearby trees 24/7

[gallifreyanwriter]

my oc oran is 6'7" and has so many back problems his 5'3" bf won't let him pick him up

only tangentially related, but Denice was always taller than John growing up and then when he was like twelve he started to Grow like boys often do and she’s lowkey salty about it to this day

[novantinuum]

Contact (ch. 1/4)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (TW: depiction of vomiting, this first chapter is pretty whump-esque)

Words: 3.0K~

Summary: The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

So this fic is Steven and Amethyst centric, set during the 2 year time skip. It’s also kinda in conversation with An Indirect Kiss, and explores the idea of what could happen to a hybrid with a cracked gem. Do note the warnings above. The first chapter is the only one that’s especially whumpy. It will be exactly 4 parts.

AO3 link can be found in the reblogs! Support there or here (via reblogs) is very much appreciated! <3

____

Chapter 1: The Mission

The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

His birthday’s only half a week out. Exciting as always, or at least it would be in other circumstances. Unfortunately, the Diamonds are breathing down his neck for him to celebrate his sweet sixteen (not that they understand what that is) on Homeworld. Even unfortunatelier, (is that a word?? He has a gut feeling Connie would tell him no, but oh well), the last time he saw Blue Diamond face-to-face, she mentioned wanting to personally throw a huge planet-wide ball in his honor.

And yeah, maybe he’s a little selfish for spurning their desire to spend more time with him, but truth be told, the center of attention is the last place he wants to be right now. He’s already spent so much time in their company over the past year, being carted around from planet to planet, formerly introduced in front of thousands of Gems on those outer colony worlds, tirelessly working to spread the news of the empire’s dissolution day in and day out. He’s tired. He misses his friends. He craves the privacy of his home, where he’s not constantly flanked by the volunteer guard when he so much as moves to fetch a midnight snack. More than anything, he needs familiarity. He wants to celebrate his birthday on Earth— like he always has— guilt-free.

Which is why it sucks that Blue didn’t take his gentle turn-down well.

“Seriously, and then she made you cry again?!” Amethyst spits out, kicking a rock as they tromp through the dense woods. “I thought you said she was getting better with that!”

“She is,” he says, and ducks to clear a low branch. “This is the first time she’s done it in like, five months. Growth isn’t always linear, y’know? And I get it, I do. They just wanna spend time with me, wanna learn more about all the human stuff that makes me who I am. That’s fine! I just...”

Steven sighs softly and pauses to lean against a sturdy tree trunk, puffy moss coating its entire diameter. The blistering summer heat coaxes droplets of sweat from his brow, which roll across cheekbones and towards his jaw. (And in the wake of this, he can’t help but be reminded of that bizarrely foreign feeling, of crying tears that aren’t his own, without consent, without resolve...)

“Wish it didn’t happen right before your birthday?” she tentatively completes, tone softer.

He shrugs, expression guarded.

Her lips purse as she regards him, and she goes silent. For a split second he wonders if maybe she heard something stalking around nearby— perhaps one of the straggling corrupted Gems they‘re trying to track down today? But no, more than likely, she’s probably lost in thought. That’s not uncommon for her, outside the heat of the moment. Even though she has the reputation of being the most impulsive of the four of them, there’s a clear deliberateness about her nature that often goes unstated. Her actions and words may be blunt, but when it really matters she does stack a lot of intent behind them.

Heh. She’s the mature one, alright.

“What did you tell her? Specifically?” she asks after a brief pause, peering at him with a careful eye.

He squints, grasping to remember the fine details of what he said. “Just... that I normally spend my birthday with all of you here on Earth, and after all the nonstop planet touring kinda, maybe wanted to take some time alone?”

Amethyst nods, giving a sharp bark of laughter at this.

“Hah! Then don’t worry about it, m’dude! Sounds to me like you stood your ground and spoke your mind. Don’t be guilty about that for even a second.”

“But- it’s not like her wanting me to spend time with them is wrong, so by turning her down, wasn’t I being kinda ru—“

His rapidly spiraling thoughts are cut off at the root by a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Okay, listen,” she says in that unmistakable ‘Serious Amethyst’ voice of hers, which of course means that she’s— well... that she‘s absolutely 100% being serious. “One thing ya’ gotta learn is that some people are just super tiring to deal with 24/7. It’s not wrong to set boundaries with them. All this junk? With Blue D? Far as I’m concerned, you handled it perfectly! And if she wants to cry about it, then that’s her problem.” Smiling, she reaches over to playfully muss his hair. “I’m super proud of you, ‘kay?”

He responds with a weak grin. Inwardly he still has his doubts, but he knows all too well that trying to argue against her when she’s in ‘Serious Amethyst’ mode is like standing on the shore trying to single handedly hold back the tides of the sea. Even a powerful terraforming Gem like Lapis would eventually be worn down by the ocean’s ceaseless tenacity. It’s best, then, to keep one’s objection silent.

So he’ll just stew in guilt quietly, no problem. Absolutely no problem here, no siree!

Before he can let that stew churn in the pot any longer however, a tree crashes to the forest floor with a colossal rumble nearby. A cluster of unsettled birds shoot into the sky from the boughs. Ground shaking under the unrest, the two of them dart to cling upon anything they can— bark covered trunks, each other— for balance. Thankfully it’s over in a few seconds, the local ecosystem quickly rebounding to its usual chittering atmosphere. But there’s now a lingering unease hanging like a curtain over this forest, a physical aura of dread, and despite his best efforts it’s one he can’t manage to ignore. He lets out a still breath. The back of his neck prickles. Geeze, just how big is this corrupted Gem they’re after?

Instinctively, he summons his shield, brings it in front of his torso. Pearl’s training echoing like a catchy earworm in his mind, he steps one foot back to widen his stance. Truth be told, with all of his political service on Homeworld it’s been a while (easily half a year!) since he’s actually used his shield in active combat— but he’s sure muscle memory will carry him through. It’s fine. He’ll be fine. It’s gotta be like riding a bicycle, right?

“You see something?” she whispers, lowering on her haunches. Her fingers twitch with anticipation at her side.

His brow furrows tight, eyes skittering through the visible tree line. “Not yet, but...”

Then, in a resolute answer to the question of the hairs raised at the nape of his neck, a skinny blur of steely blue and moss green suddenly swipes down from the branches at breakneck speed. He jerks his shield over his head in a flash.

Clang. Perfect timing.

(The force of the collision against reinforced hard light sends vibrations up his arms.)

Meanwhile, Amethyst yelps, only barely ducking from the spiked tail in time. She somersaults forward and immediately summons her whip as she regains her footing. In one fluid motion she snaps it at the rapidly moving blur. He grins at the sight.

Contact!

The corrupted Gem— her body long and willowy, able to skitter between limbs and leaves with zero effort whatsoever— screeches at the assault. All four of her beady eyes hone in on the pair of them.

They square up for battle, standing back to back.

“Here we go,” Amethyst says, flicking her wrist to switch the weapon’s tri-ended tip into its spiked counterpart. “Keep me covered. Whatever you do, don’t take your eyes off the trees.”

With a mighty yell, she moves to attack again. However, the creature anticipates it this time... and dodges.

Once. Twice. Thrice...

Every single lash she tries to land fares the same, with the Gem perfectly zig-zagging out of range at the last second. Even when Steven hurls his shield in coordination with her offensive strikes. Even when the quartz brings out a second whip to the party. It’s like trying to desperately keep hold of a wet bar of soap. The very moment you think you have it secure in your grasp, it slips away once more. Weird... he swears that thing is predicting their every move. What kind of Gem is she? A sapphire, maybe? Surely there had to have been a few other sapphires on Earth at the time of corruption. They’re a rare sort, but it’s certainly not impossible. Not at all.

They’ll know when they poof her, of course. No sense fixating on it in the heat of battle.

In the corner of his eye he catches that barbed tail swing from above, vying to surprise them from their blind spot, and summons his bubble around them. Its surface ripples upon impact, but holds strong. His fellow battle partner follows the creature’s erratic movements rapturously as she recovers.

“Tell me when,” he huffs for breath, watching the Gem circle around them and slash at the surrounding trees in a vain attempt at intimidation.

“Drop on three,” she says. “Your call.”

“Okay...”

Steven steels his nerves, inhaling deep, and focusing on the reliable hum of hard light running from his core outwards. Just relax. It’s all training. All stuff you’ve done a million times before. You’ve got this.

Working off the emerging rhythm of the creature’s strikes, he begins his count.

“One—“

Amethyst’s fists clench tighter.

“Two...”

The creature’s tail slams against the bubble and rebounds once again.

“Three!” he shouts, and throws his arms out, popping the bubble in a startling explosion of glittering pink.

The Gem howls. She’s thrown against a cluster of trees by the force of his magic’s kickback. Amethyst throws all of her energy into her spin-dash, and surges towards her with all the strength of a typhoon.

He summons two shields in turn, working light on his feet as he hurls them full force one after the other, desperately hoping to poof this poor creature as quickly and painlessly as he can manage. She’s strong, though. Incredibly strong— which gives more credence to his theory of this Gem being aristocratic in origin. Before Era 3, Homeworld used to endow the most ‘important’ Gems with greater durability. If she were a corrupted quartz or ruby, both easily poofed Gems, they’d have finished the fight by now.

“Hey!” Amethyst calls as she continues on the offensive, finally looping the Gem’s torso. “All this?” She gives a mighty battle cry, and swings her slender, scaly body over her head. Screeching, the corruption crashes headfirst into the dirt a good twenty feet away. “Is starting to get way too annoying. Ya’ wanna let Smoky take this one?”

Steven gives a playful laugh, averting his normally watchful gaze from the creature for a split second to face her. “You bet I do!”

And that’s when what should have been an incredibly straightforward mission goes very, very wrong.

All because he forgot to be careful. For one tiny, should’ve-been-insignificant moment.

He’s reaching out for a high five, fingers splayed outwards. His gem glows, the two of them so intrinsically in sync by now that he’s already anticipating their fusion.

But his hand never finds its match.

Instead, the end of the corrupted Gem’s mace-like tail swings back around and slams into his gut with the force of a freight train, knocking the wind clear out of him.

Contact.

Following momentum, his body spins a good hundred feet away from Amethyst before she can ever try to catch him with her whip... and he crashes headfirst into a startlingly solid tree trunk. He falls to the forest floor like nothing more than an abandoned rag doll.

“Steven!!” she shrieks from afar.

Ears ringing. Head pounding. Heart throbbing. Veins pumped full of static.

(Inhale.)

H-he- surely he‘s not—!

(Just inhale!)

Black feathers the edges of his vision, looming like a reaper. It’s wrong. It’s real, but it’s all so distant, so wrong. Stubbornly, he gasps for breath. Refusing to let himself go unconscious. Not here, not now. But it’s so tempting, gosh is it tempting. His whole body feels numb and battered, his whole body feels...

There’s a twisting in his gut. His eyes shoot wide.

Oh...

The sensation (again, wrong, sickly and wrong) rises in his throat faster than he can identify it by name, and it’s then that he’s thrown back into sobering reality. Arms quivering to hold up his weight, he pushes his upper body up off the dirt just before he retches. Once, twice, three times- all on quick succession. Ugh. So much for breakfast. His muscles ache as he desperately attempts to recover, attempts to shift his view away from the appalling sight of his own vomit. Everything is woozy, blurred, spinning around him. His- oh stars, his head is suddenly as heavy as lead...! Where’s Amethyst?? Why do his arms and legs feel all tingly and faint? Why can he only barely lift himself up? He gives a keening cry as a pulsing throb of static shoots in staccato bolts like lightning from his very core, his center, h-his— he can’t think, he can’t think, he can’t—

Breathing ragged, he collapses onto his side and rides through the spasms, his every muscle jerking against his command. His cheek sags against the ground once the fit reaches its end.

He lays there in a daze for a good long while, letting his vision grow unfocused and blurred in his exhaustion. From his creased brow, sweat drips in the sweltering August heat, staining the soil below. Conflict rages on in the distant background—  Amethyst running solo?— yet he can’t keep track of the action by sound alone. It’s... too much sensory input. More than he can handle, by a long shot. Every bit of his universe now is faint and weak and pain pain pain pain pain, but he manages to shift his arm just enough to slip his hand under his shirt, blindly grasping for his gem... working off a terrible, horrifying hunch.

Shaking fingers find their way to warm crystal, tracing the outer edges, and then—

He traces a deep gouge, running diagonal clear across the center facet.

Cracked.

And with that realization, any remnant of calm he had left flies straight out the window. Another spike of static rips through his body (fuzzy images of Amethyst, 100% hard light body glitching out and unable to hold its shape, pervade his mind) as he makes rapid shallow gasps for air and seizes, trying in vain not to think too hard about what’s physically happening to him.

(I’m cracked I’m cracked I’m cracked I’m—)

“Steven!” Amethyst shouts, diving to his side in an instant. “I’m here, I’m here, I’m so sorry, it wasn’t safe, an’ I knew I had to bubble her before I- ‘fore I could—“

His wide eyed fear silences her even faster than his words. “H- Amethyst,” he rasps, voice hoarse. He blinks as tears begin to slip from between his lashes.

Near indistinguishable blurs of purple and black are his only metric for her movement now. He’s rolled onto his back. A hand moves under his head, stabilizing it.

“Whoa, dude, you’re like, pale as milk! What’s wrong? Did you get hurt?? Can’t you heal it?”

He somehow manages to push coherent words through his warbling cries. “I, I- I dunno, I’m c- cracked, I’m—“

“Wait, wait, wait, you’re WHAT?”

Giving no thought to courtesy in light of the situation, she yanks his shirt up to see for herself.

He hears her inhale as her fingers delicately brush against the gouge marring the center facet of his gem. It’s sharp, sympathetic. The kind of reaction only a Gem who’s lived this horror could offer him. Ever so slight, her hand recoils upon the no-doubt triggering sight. He— stars, he doesn’t wanna... doesn’t want to have to make her remember that, remember that awful time she herself got cracked, but here he is, so clumsy, s-so useless, an—

His chest trembles with every pitiful, bubbling gasp as he succumbs to the terror of the situation and begins to openly sob. Hot, fat tears pour in rivulets down his cheeks, but he knows instinctively there‘s no magic within them. Not today. Not when h-he’s... when he’s like this.

What’s even gonna happen to him now? How’s he gonna— Deep breath. This time, he feels it coming. Every muscle in his body contracts on automatic as that awful, awful static tears through his nerves like an arc of electric current.

It hurts it hurts it hurts ithurtshurtshurtshurtshurtshurts—

Amethyst does her best to lightly hold him as he seizes, cradling his head to ensure no more damage is done. When he stills this time the fight’s practically draining from his body. The boughs of the trees above him pirouette like dancers. Oh stars, everything’s... so... woozy...

“Aw, geeze,” she mutters, and reaches to her gem to pull out an object, thin and rectangular, too blurry in his view for him to make out with much detail. “I, uh... listen. I’m gonna call up Pearl, and we’re gonna fix you up, okay?? We’re gonna take you to the fountain, an’ then...” Her words (reassurance, but for who?) grow thick as her glance flicks downward at his stomach again. “An’ then you’re gonna be fine...”

“B-b-but... I don’t think— I can’t walk,” he blubbers.

“Then I’ll carry you.”

“Am- hnng- Amethyst—“

“Shh-shh, don’t talk, bud. Save your energy.”

“I- I’m so scared,” he blurts.

And it’s so true. Because everything is becoming so blurry and indistinguishable, and the more his body seizes the more fractured he feels, and he’s so close to closing his eyes and drifting off now, he’s sure he is, he’s gotta be—

“Steven,” she says, voice firm yet soft. “Steven, common’, look at me.”

Serious Amethyst. He recognizes the tone. No arguing now.

So slowly but surely— knowing there’s no sense in fighting back oceans when he can barely stay afloat amidst the shallows of this river— his weary, tear stained eyes meet with hers. They’re blown wide with fear, with genuine concern, but between the swirls of black and indigo blue stirs a deeper courage: the unwavering gaze of someone who will have his back to the end of the line.

Amethyst clasps her palm against his shoulder, solid and reassuring.

“Whatever it takes, I promise you... I’m gonna get you there.”

[itsallabigmess]

Solace

Anon requested:  Could you please make a scneario where y/n is beautifully falling in love with jinyoung but she thinks she is too broken to deserve love?

*Disclaimer: There are hints of mental health problems in this scenario. Nothing explicit but it would be very hypocritical of me to not warn anyone, especially if you are easily triggered.

A/N: Hey dear anon, I’m really sorry it took me so long to post this scenario. I wasn’t sure what to write at first and after finishing the first draft I let it rest for a while. When I finally sat down and tried to revise it, I guess I got a bit carried away. Not sure if this is what you expected, but I do hope you enjoy it. (Also, I know it’s been a while but you told me you were sick when you requested this story. I hope you’re feeling nothing but great now.) I would love to hear anyone’s opinions on this or any of my writings (but especially on this one because I think this was the hardest one for me to write, and my insecurity just exploded). 

And please, check my other writings on the masterlist. I put a link on my main page.

Love,

A.

You couldn’t sleep. Again. You sat on your bed, tired of rolling from side to side, staring into the empty darkness of your room. Nights like these always made you consider if it wasn’t better to see a doctor, get something prescribed. But after a few breaths, the only decision you made was to get out of the house. As you always did.

The streets are mostly empty and, at this point, you don’t really care if another soul would notice that you were wearing pajamas. Some nights you go for a walk in the park nearby, other nights you head for the coffee shop that stays open 24/7. Hot tea seemed to be the most pleasant choice.

It was just around the corner, the small coffee shop you only visited at late hours of the night. You rarely saw other people there. And tonight was no different. All tables were empty as you entered, the barista looking bored on the other side of the counter.

“Hey Sam," you said to the skinny guy, a cheesy smile on your face.

“Insomnia again?” he asked, not surprised in the slightest to see you there.

“There may be a possibility my brain is trying to kill me, one sleepless night at a time,” you shrugged, taking money from your pajamas pants pocket and handing it to him.

Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “Same as always?”

“Please.”

You always sat at the same table, closest to the glass wall. It gave you a nice view of the intersection of streets, where from time to time you would see a car passing, people walking by. One of the streets lights kept flashing on and off. It’s been like that for the past six months since you started to visit the shop. You liked to stare at it every time you didn’t have a book with you. It was relaxing in a way. To the point, you barely noticed when the steaming cup was placed in front of you.

“Oh,” you said, fixing your posture, eyes on the cup when the smell of honey and ginger reached you. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Jinyoung,” a deeper voice resounded.

You looked up to see someone that was definitely not Sam. He was dressed the same way – a white shirt and black apron. Other than that, the guy looked two times bigger.

“Sorry, I… didn’t know there was anyone else working here,” you smiled lazily at him.

“Do you want anything else?”

“No, thank you. I’m fine.”

Jinyoung nodded lightly “Let me know if you need anything,” he said, leaving you with your tea.

You never took your phone with you. So you never really knew how much time you spend there, taking sips of your favorite tea, watching the flicking lights across the streets, mind drifting between past, uncertain future and the nothing in the midst of it all. The tea was cold when you finished, a sour taste left in your mouth. With a light wave to the guys behind the counter, you left the place, hoping that your mind would give you a break.

His first day wasn’t as bad as expected. An easy way to make some money, Jinyoung thought. Just enough to help him pay the bills while he tried to get a better job. It was surprising that the coffee shop worked 24/7. More surprising was how his old college colleague convinced the owners of the place to hire him, considering the lack of clients during the late hours of the night.

When he arrived, Sam gave Jinyoung a pair of white polo shirts, showed where he could keep his things, where the aprons would be hanging and started his introduction of “how to prepare coffee for the ghosts!”

“We usually have three types of clients,” Sam said, “The drunks who get lost around the area and think its a good idea to sober up before trying to find their ways. Please, never let them use the bathroom unless you are willing to clean it yourself,” he alerted, eyes wide open as if he was remembering something traumatic. “The people who have to wake really early to go to their jobs. And the insomnia girl.”

It was easy to recognize her. Wearing flannel pajamas, hair a bit messy. Jinyoung expected her to be older, to look tired. Or maybe a bit crazy. But after seeing her, staring out of the glass wall, mind lost somewhere else, she just looked... sad.

“What’s her story?” Jinyoung asked with arms crossed over his chest, observing as Sam prepared her tea.

“Not sure. She always comes around the same time. Always drinks the same tea, sits on the same place... Never eats anything. She stays for an hour or two and then leaves. Sometimes… she cries,” Sam paused for a second before continuing. “It’s weird, it’s almost like she only notices that she was crying when the tears already stopped.”

Jinyoung turned to look at the girl, her stare fixed in something far.

“Now, look. We only serve in this mug when a client request one of the largest drinks,” Sam explained serving the tea in one of the biggest rounded mugs that were rowed in a wooden shelf just seconds before. “But I always make enough tea to fill one of these. Just don’t let her know. I don’t want her thinking I feel sorry for her or anything like that.”

“But you do.”

“What can I say, I have a big heart.” Sam pushed the mug over the counter in your direction. “Go on.

Jinyoung let his body fall into the single bed of the small place he had rented just a couple of weeks ago, a few boxes still pilled in the corner of the room. And as he started to doze off, Jinyoung wondered what kept her awake.

Three hours. That’s how long you managed to sleep before the alarm started to buzz. You thought about calling the agency, telling them that you needed to take a sick day. But missing one day could cause not being called to work in the future and that you didn’t want to risk. One of the disadvantages of working as a temp.

Nobody noticed. How tired you were feeling. Faking smiles, hidden the bags under your eyes with makeup, keeping a small conversation. Talents that you acquired in your past life and were still helpful.

This month you were allocated in a doctors office. Mostly, you were in charge of answering the phone, schedule appointments and direct patients to the right door. It kept your mind busy enough, and the days always seemed to pass fast.

Walking back to your place at the end of the day,  through the same park you used to visit during your sleepless nights, you always stopped at this area almost completely hidden by trees and flowers. You found it by chance after moving to town and ever since you started to spend some time there. Except for the guards that used to walk by, it felt like nobody knew this place was there. You would sit there for a while, in its lonely bench, sometimes to eat something, sometimes to read a book, but always enjoying the comfortable silence the place owned.

You knew it was time to leave when the sun started to go down, the place where you were not being very well illuminated after dark. You heard a few steps coming in your direction, expecting to see one of the guards, only to see a new familiar face appearing between the branches.

“Oh! Jinyoung, hi!”

He stopped at his place, your name coming out of his mouth in surprise. “You remember my name.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” he scratched the back of his neck “Maybe because you only saw me once?”

“Well, you know mine and I’m sure I didn’t tell you,” you pointed out.

Jinyoung lowered his head out of shyness, his voice sounding a bit lower when he looked at you again. “Sam told me. And I guess I should remember the name of our most regular client.”

You felt your cheeks burn, wondering if and what the two of them might have talked about you the previous night. An awkward silence grew while you stood there, not sure if you should just walk away or say something else.

“Would you believe me if I told you I got lost?” Jinyoung asked with a weak smile.

“Considering where we are? Yes. I thought I was the only one who knew about this place.” You placed your purse strap over your shoulder. “Wanna help finding your way?”

“If it’s not a bother...”

“I was about to leave anyway,” you assured him.

Jinyoung waited for you to lead the way, walking by your side but not close enough to make you feel uncomfortable. Except maybe for the silence. You were so used with doing small talk with people from your work that now it felt weird being quiet. Especially considering that you would be walking together for a while until you arrived at the main trail of the park.

“So, are you knew in town?” you asked, glimpsing at him.

“To this part of the city, yes. I moved here a few weeks ago. What about you?”

“I’ve been living here for a while,” you said, being as vague as possible.

“You live close to the coffee shop, right? I mean...” Jinyoung seemed embarrassed again, his tongue acting quicker than his mind. “Sam told me you always go there late at night so I figured you must live close by.”

You didn’t answer, lowering your head, giving space to another moment of silence.

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung touched your arm, making you stop. “It’s just... well, Sam was telling me about the shop routine and he mentioned how you are the only client who goes consistently. I didn’t mean to sound intrusive or...”

Jinyoung saw how you seemed frozen, your eyes glued to his hand around your arm. He stepped back, realizing how uncomfortable he must be making you feel.

“It’s fine,” you said after a while, noticing his red face. “Should we keep going?”

The rest of the walk was made in silence, the constraint feeling overpowering any habit of chit-chatting. It shouldn’t mean anything. But still, you could almost feel your body hurt with how uneasy you were feeling.

Besides time spent at work, where talking with people was necessary, you never speak with anyone. Not really. You didn’t know anyone in town, didn’t have any personal numbers saved on your phone. This walk with Jinyoung was the closest you had to a normal non-obligatory interaction with another person in what felt like ages. And as you arrived at the end of the park, you realized that it frightens you.

You said goodbye to Jinyoung, not completely ignoring his second attempt to apologize, but avoiding his gaze as you went your way. You felt at ease again after showering, deciding to skip dinner and just lay down. You may not be able to sleep right away but your body could relax.

Staring at your ceiling, the street lights coming through the window, you started to feel guilty. For not being able to move on with your life. Moving cities, cutting ties with everything and everyone from your past wasn’t enough. It’s been months and you still couldn’t sleep, still couldn’t trust other people.

Jinyoung’s face came to your mind, and another wave of guilt rushed through your body.

No matter how many punches he threw, Jinyoung couldn’t shake the feeling that he did, said, something wrong, even though he didn’t know exactly what it was. Jinyoung started training at a boxing studio after another friend recommended him the place. With his new overnight job, training before going to the coffee shop seemed the best alternative. But now, he was having a hard time focusing on the heavy bag in front of him.

He stopped someplace to eat an hour later, hair still dripping from the shower, retracing the few moments you shared walking through the park. The light smile you had on your lips soon giving space to a dark shadow over your eyes. He didn’t say something bad, he was sure of it. And it was understandable that Sam would talk about you, considering how much you visit the shop. And while you were there, Jinyoung realized it was quite hard not to look at you. The idea of having someone talking about you really bothered you that much? And why did he had to touch your arm?

Jinyoung hoped that he was overreacting. That you were overreacting. Until after a few hours into work, he saw you walking by across the street, and his stomach flipped. It was a relief when, while he was cleaning the balcony, you entered the shop, him letting your name fall from his lips with an awkward hi.

“Hey. So...” you shifted on your feet, a plastic bag hanging on your fingers “I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

Jinyoung frowned, “Why? I should be apologizing. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You did apologize, but you shouldn’t. I mean, you didn’t… You didn’t do anything wrong.” You mumbled, letting out a long sigh, eyes down before meeting Jinyoung’s again, an amiable smile on your face. “Should we try this again?” You extended your hand over the balcony, Jinyoung cleaning his own hand in the apron before shaking yours as if you too just met.

“Should I make your tea?” Jinyoung asked after dropping your hand.

“No, I… I’m going for ice cream tonight” you shook the plastic bag. “But maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I hope so,” Jinyoung smiled to himself as you walked out.

Before leaving for the day, you asked to see the doctor you were working for. You told her about how you couldn’t sleep properly, without explaining the reasons why. Even though this wasn’t her area, she recommended another doctor that could help you. You still weren’t ready to deal with it properly. But the new doctor’s card added to your wallet was already giving you some comfort.

You went to the shop a bit earlier than you were used to that night. It was Sam who welcomed you and prepared your tea, but Jinyoung was the one who brought it to you. Just as he did in the next few nights, each time staying a few minutes longer by your side to chat a bit. You liked it. How he approached you. As if each night he was trying to make you feel more comfortable with his presence.

It was different with him, you thought. Sam was always polite, but like everyone you worked with, he kept the conversation at a superficial level. But Jinyoung always seemed to be interested in learning a new fact about you.

He sat with you one of those nights, the only two of you inside the shop, Sam nowhere to be seen. He started talking to you about the book you had placed in front of you. A writer that he also liked. The conversation easily traveled from one subject to another. You even felt like, at some point, Jinyoung tried to ask you out, casually mentioning that a movie he really wanted to see had just premiered. Or maybe it was just your imagination, you weren’t used with people flirting with you… considering…

Either way, it was cute. You wondered if he knew it. How adorable he was. Maybe you would tell him someday.

You only visited the coffee shop again in the middle of the next week. It turned out you missed your night walks. But after a couple of day walking through the park, you also found yourself missing the talks you had with Jinyoung. You asked yourself, though, if enjoying his company was because you liked him, or because, deep down, you knew you were craving any form of affection.

There was a couple sitting on your favorite table. So, after paying for your tea, you sat further back in the shop. You brought another book with you tonight, but it was hard to keep your eyes on the open pages in your hand. They looked like them, the couple. Maybe it was just the lighting. Maybe it was just the fact that your mind was exhausted, still not being able to sleep for longer than a couple of hours. Still, you couldn’t stop staring at them. All the laughing, the kissing, it was making you angry.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, and it only made things worse. Because now you were back in that room, the day you found out about everything. The day your world flipped upside down.

A warm touch in your arm woke you up from your nightmare. Jinyoung looking at you worried, asking if everything was okay. You couldn’t answer, getting up and rushing to the door, tears starting to roll down your cheeks, vision blurred. And if it wasn’t for his grip around your arms, you would have thumped against his body.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“Nothing, I just want to go home.”

Jinyoung let go of your arms, watching as you tried to wipe away your tears. “Okay, let me walk with you.”

“You don’t need to, I live just around the corner,” you said, voice unsteady.

“I don’t mind, really.”

You looked at him, nodding quickly as you close your arms around your chest. He moved to your side, you two walking slowly. Not a minute longer and you were at your building’s door.

“Are you gonna be okay?” he asked, as picked your keys from your front pocket.

“After I get some hours to sleep, maybe,” you shrugged.

“But will you be able to? Sleep?”

You bit your lips, looking up to meet his concerned eyes. “Goodnight, Jinyoung,” you said with your body halfway inside, a gloomy smile before you closed the door.

The couple had left when Jinyoung returned to the shop. Sam was waiting for him, leaned against the balcony, an inquisitive look in his face.

“Is she okay?” he asked.

“I guess,” Jinyoung shrugged, standing next to Sam, same position as him.

“Well, what happened? All I saw was she leaving and you going after.”

“She was crying,” Jinyoung told.

“I told you she does that sometimes.”

“Yeah, but she was... shaking,” Jinyoung recalled the image of you sitting on the corner of the shop, face crumpled as if you were in pain. You seemed perfectly fine when you arrived just minutes previously. It made him wonder. What broke you.

“You like her, don’t you?” Sam asked, capturing Jinyoung’s attention. He didn’t answer though, walking over to the table she was sitting after a few seconds, her book still there, pages wet with the tea.

But yes, Jinyoug liked you, thoughts of you hovering his mind since he first saw you. There was something about you… The way you always smiled sweetly with sadness in your eyes. The way you talked about things, passionately and still uncertain of your own feelings. It constantly made him wonder. If he would ever have a chance to really know you.

The sight of you walking through the park the day after surprised him, You were heading towards the same spot where he got lost, he noticed. Jinyoung pondered for a second if he should follow you. The need to knowing if you were okay being stronger.

You were sat down, eyes closed. Jinyoung was pretty sure you were still wearing the same pajamas from the night before, except for the gray sweater. He came closer slowly, calling you almost in a whisper, as to not scare you.

The dark circles under your eyes showed him that you haven’t slept at all, the swelling indicating that you were still crying until a few moments before going to that place. It made his heart tighten. You looked at him for a second, only to stare emptily to the landscape in front of you.

“Hi, I...” he chocked, standing in front of the bench, considering if he should sit next to you or not. “I saw you passing by. I wanted to see if you were okay.”

He waited there, hoping to hear your voice, even if it was to tell him to fuck off. But you kept quiet,  expressionless. Jinyoung nodded as if he just got a silence message. You were not friends. You were nothing. He shouldn’t be annoying you. You obviously wanted to be by yourself.

He turned his body and was about to walk away when you said his name.

“Do you believe in ghosts?” you asked. “Not the dead type, but...” she finally looked at you, her eyes red. “Do you believe things… people from your past can haunt you forever?”

Jinyoung got closer sitting on the opposite side of the bench, body and face turned to you.

“I was engaged last year,” you said, a knot closing on your throat.

“You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to,” Jinyoung tried to assure you, not wanting to make you cry again, but you interrupted him with a head shake.

Wanting and needing were two complete opposites. You never wanted to even think about it again. But you never had to chance to talk about it with anyone, and there was a desperate need of letting it out of your system, even if you could not say everything at once.

“I found him in bed with my best friend a month before the wedding. They were fucking since before we started dating. Apparently, everyone knew except for me.”

You played with your own fingers over your lap, trying to put the words in order before continuing. Jinyoung closed his fists inside the pockets of his own sweater, trying to ignore the will of taking your hands on his.

“Even my family…” you chocked up, but there were no tears in your eyes. Only anger. “My father… he wanted us to go on with the wedding. It would be too shameful, he said. He was worried about what other people would think, what neighbors would say. He didn’t care about me. He said… He said that I could get over it.” you tried to mimic his tone. “So I pretended to go with it for a few weeks. Just so could figure out a way to disappear. I got on a plane the night before my wedding and here I am.”

You stayed in silence for a while, Jinyoung taking in what you have told him. You still felt the same way and wondered. It was nice talking to Jinyoung, as you learned over the past week, but should you be telling him those things? You still barely knew each other. It was not the first time you freaked out over something in front of him, and it would be a surprise if he ever talked to you again.

“The couple in the shop last night...”

“You thought it was them,” Jinyoung said, making sense of what happened the night before.

“It looked like them. Or maybe it was just my mind playing tricks.  I guess that’s why I can’t sleep. A part of me is afraid that I’ll see him again. That my family will burst through the door and take me back to a life I never want to live.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Jinyoung managed to say. It was hard to believe, accept, how everyone in your life managed to betray you, the worst being your father, your family. But it was striking, the fact that you told him. You had all the reasons in the world to never trust another person ever again. And still, you told him.

Jinyoung would never take that for granted.

He stayed with you in silence, because that was the only thing he could do for you. The only thing he knew you accepted. And he waited until you decided to go.

“Would you like to eat something?” Jinyoug asked you, you two walking outside the park. “We don’t need to talk. It’s just… You look like you need to eat. Preferably something unhealthy,” he tried to joke. It didn’t make you laugh, but you stopped staring at the ground.

“I don’t have any money with me.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

There was a burger place close to the park. You never noticed it before. You sat at one of the tables as Jinyoung ordered for you two, coming to join you only when the food was ready. You stared at it for a while, before taking a sip of the coke, lazily unwrapping the burger, your stomach growling as the smell hit your nose.

“This is really good,” you said, mouth full. “I have to remember coming here again.”

“I can bring you if you want me to.”

You sighed, looking at him smiling at you, a few wrinkles around his eyes. “Why are you so nice to me?”

“There isn’t a reason for me not to be.”

He walked you home again, you both slowly walking side by side, you with your hands inside your sweater’s pockets. Jinyoung, glimpsed at you every once in a while, wondering how would you feel if he touched you.

“I hope you can you rest,” he said with a smile as you stood it your building’s door.

“Thank you... for everything,” you said, your voice still raspy.

“Sam isn’t working today,” Jinyoung said in a rush before you entered the building. “It’s his day off so I’m gonna be alone. If you can’t sleep, you can join me. If you want some company, you know...” he mumbles, scratching the back of his hair.

You got closer, gently kissing one side of his face, before going inside.

It did make you feel better. Talking to Jinyoung. Even if just for a while. Even if just for that day. You were even able to sleep for a while, body, and mind feeling lighter after a long hot shower. It was still dark outside when you woke up. Jinyoung would still be at the shop. You wondered if he would still want to see you. Maybe he was just being nice earlier, asking you to make him company.

There was only one way to know.

Jinyoung received you with a smile, feeling somewhat guilty, knowing that you were only there because you couldn’t sleep. But there was a bit of solace at seeing you smiling again.

“I brought ice cream,” you said, putting a plastic bag over the counter.

“And we have brownies! Should I serve it together?”

You sat at a table in the back, Jinyoung removing his apron and letting it behind the balcony, not caring at all if anyone would appear or not. He even turned off some of the front lights of the shop, to look as if it was closed.

“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked, looking at plates and spoons Jinyoung had served, he sitting in front of you.

“I should be asking you the same. Are you okay with this.”

“I am,” you breathed, relaxing your shoulders “I’m really okay with this.”

“Good. There was something I wanted to ask you, actually,” he took a bite of the brownie. “How do you feel about boxing?”

“Boxing?” you raised your brows.

“Well, not actually fighting but doing some training. I was thinking it would maybe help you with your insomnia. Exercising, you know. I train in a place nearby and I thought you could join me some day and please tell me if I’m being intrusive again,” he stopped mumbling, you could swear his face was a bit red, even if it was hard to see in the dim lighting.

“You’re not,” you giggled. You thought about it for a second, staring at your spoon, putting some ice cream over the brownie before eating it. It did make any sense to you. Why Jinyoung acted like he cared about you. But you didn’t want him to stop. It was nice, not feeling completely alone after some time.

“So, what do you think?” he asked his eyes on your hands over the table.

“I’m in!”

You met with him in front of the studio. It was a relief to see the place wasn’t packed. Before changing clothes you were feeling a bit confident, considering how this could actually help you with your insomnia. But after joining Jinyoung, you started to get tense, worrying that you would be awful at it, and end up hurting yourself. You couldn’t even remember the last time you exercised.

Jumping hope turned out to be easy. Punching the bag, not so much. Jinyoung taught you how to properly put the straps on your hands. It took you some time but you were slowly getting the grip of it. It was fun, you thought. Even though you were sure your arms were going to make you wish you were dead the next day. 

You were so concentrated in doing it right, you almost didn’t mind Jinyoung hands on your arms, showing the right position, holding your back, your waist, helping with your balance. You looked more than once over your shoulder and were surprised to see that he was not that close behind you, even though you were certain you could feel the warmth of his body. 

It became a routine after the first time. You woke up the next day, arms not hurting as bad as you expected. You haven’t shown up to the coffee shop the night after. Not because you didn’t have insomnia again, but because you really wanted to rest. You texted Jinyoung, you both had finally exchanged numbers when you accepted to go boxing with him. You liked it. Boxing. With Jinyoung. And you let him know that. 

So you joined him three times a week, after work, Jinyoung always waiting for you in front of the studio, and taking you someplace close to eat a snack before you headed home and he went to the coffee shop.

Jinyoung was right. It helped you sleep. At least more than you were used to for the past months. And on the nights you couldn’t sleep at all, you would spend more time with Jinyoung at the coffee shop. He wasn’t even being subtle about it anymore, always being more occupied with talking to you than attending the rare people that would show up.

“When it’s your next day off?” you asked a couple of weeks later, leaving the studio to find something to eat.

“Next Sunday, why?”

“Have any plans?”

“Not really? Have anything in mind?”

“I was thinking,...maybe I can make us dinner? As a form of thanking you.” you explained. 

You weren’t nervous for asking him to dinner with you. You two have passed the point of being shy with each other. But a part of you still felt uncertain. About him. The way he treated you, always so gentle. A kindness your were not used to. And as much you enjoyed your evenings working out together and your nocturnal visits, you never spent time alone. Not since the day you told him about your past life. 

Often, you questioned yourself if he only did that out of habit. Being nice to you. And not because he liked you. Maybe he was just used to be like that with everyone.

“Thank me for what?” he asked, a brow raised.

“I don’t know. Being my friend, I guess.”

Jinyoung beamed at you, a new kind of smile you never saw on his face before. “Should I bring the desert?”

It was nice. Having him at your place. Talking freely with each other, knowing more about him. He sounded exactly the same. Acted exactly the same. It was reassuring. And a bit scaring. The fear of being close to someone still resonated in the back of your head.

But then, he looked you the right way, smiled at you the right way. It made you forget for a while, the pain you still had inside of you.

You took the plates to the sink, disregarding his attempts to help you clean everything up. “Do you wanna watch a movie?” you asked, not wanting him to leave. Not yet.

Jinyoung was leaned against the cabinets, watching you attentively as you put away the dishes. It’s been almost two months since he first met you. Almost two months since he started falling for you. All this time he never indulge the thought that you might like him back. At least not in the same way. He knew you weren’t ready. Even if you sounded and looked better than you did weeks ago. And it was okay. Being just friends.

It was hard to contain the jitters after you invited him to your place. He would catch himself thinking about it as the day got closer, even more so because you haven’t shown up to the shop the previous night. He was glad that you were getting more hours of sleep. But Jinyoung often missed your presence around him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, drying your hands with a dish towel.

“I’m just looking at you,” he shrugged lightly.

You smiled, shaking your head lightly. “So, what movie are we watching?” you asked.

It was okay being just friends, Jinyoung thought again. But he needed to know.

He walked towards you, slowly, eyes fixed on yours.

“What are you doing?” you asked, giving a step back, your body meeting the kitchen counter.

“Getting closer.”

“Why?” you felt your voice tremble.

“Because you’re allowing me to.”

Jinyoung stopped in front of you, resting both of his hands on each side of the counter behind you, his nose almost brushing yours. “Tell me to go away,” he whispered.

You knew you should have. Told him to go away. He wasn’t even touching you and you already felt your entire body quiver. But it wasn’t discomfort. It wasn’t fear. You wanted him. You’ve been wanting him for some time now.

Jinyoung exhaled gently, and you closed your eyes, waiting for his lips to touch yours. He didn’t kiss you though. Not on the lips. You felt the soft touch of his mouth first on your cheek. He moved slowly closer to your ear, another kiss right under the lobe, and another where your neck ended your shirt began, his face stopping there for a second or two before his lips met your cheek again.

Opening your eyes, you saw Jinyoung leaning back a bit. The next move was yours, that much you knew. He wouldn’t do anything other than that unless you asked him. And when you felt he was going to step back, your hands moved to his face, you bringing your lips to his.

You stayed like that for a moment, the soft touch of his mouth making a storm inside your body. There was nothing sexual about it. The kiss. And still, it amazed you how intimate it felt.

Jinyoung put his hands on your back before the next kiss, but he only brought your body closer to his on the third, your mouth moving together in perfect harmony.

You fell asleep on his shoulder while watching the movie, the movement of his fingers caressing your back relaxing you in a way you didn’t know was possible. It was indeed a night of learning new things. But when you woke up, hours later, you were in your own bed. Alone.

He was still there. You found him laying on your couch, hugging one of the pillows, looking cute as always. You brought a blanket to cover him and dared to kiss his forehead before going back to your room. Not that you were gonna be able to sleep again anyway.

It’s been weeks since he last saw you or talked to you and he knew it was his fault. It was too much for you to handle. The kissing, the hugging. He knew something was off in the morning after, you were barely able to look at him.

He texted you in the middle of the afternoon on the day after. And again at night, after you didn’t showed up the boxing studio. He tried to call you the next morning, and throughout the week, waiting for you to show up at the coffee shop, and even went a few times to your favorite spot at the park. But there was no sign of you.

Jinyoung understood you didn’t want to see or talk to him. But he needed to know that you were okay. He found another job. Something for what he was interviewed quite a while back. The coffee shop was always something temporary. After meeting you he didn’t mind working there so much. But then you also began to be a reason for him to leave.

After his last shift, he went to your apartment. He stayed there looking at your building door, considering if he should ring the bell. But he just left, respecting again your decision to stay away.

It was nice to see that his college diploma had a purpose after all. The first week on the new job passed smoothly, he getting well with his colleagues. And by week two, Jinyoung was completely comfortable with a position that didn’t involve hoping clients would show up. Hoping you would show up.

He missed you. More and more each day. 

Another week was coming to an end when his phone pinged. A clench on his chest when he saw your name on the screen. He stared at it for a second, another ping sounding in the meantime. And another. And another.

[You] I’m sorry

[You] I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore.

[You] But I really want to see you.

[You] I miss you.

He didn’t even consider thinking twice before answering your text, glimpsing to the watch on his computer before start typing.

[Jinyoung] I can be at your place in two hours.

The knock on your door made your heart jump. You didn’t deserve him to be there, willing to listen to you. Not after you ignored him for so long. It was a shock when he answered your text, more shocking when you saw the message read that he was going to you.

He was wearing something formal. It fitted him, you thought. Not that he could ever look bad.

Jinyoung waited until you closed the door, walking to the living room and dropping his bag on the couch. He finally was able to look at you. “Are you okay?” he asked, the biggest worry he had in his mind for the past weeks.

You were surprised by the question, how gentle his voice sounded, nodding your head quickly. And in a second you felt his arms around you, hugging you tightly.

Jinyoung knew this was probably what made you disappear the first time. Touching you. But he needed to feel you again. He needed to make sure you were there with him.

“Jinyoung,” you said, voice shaky, as you pushed him back gently. “Aren’t you mad at me?”

“I was too worried to be mad,” he confessed, cupping your face before letting you go. “It was because of me, wasn’t it? Why you disappeared.”

“No,” you grabbed his hand “It was because of me. I freaked out. Again.”

“Yes, because I kissed you.”

“Jinyoung, I could have pushed you away. And I didn’t. I wanted to be with you,” you lowered your head, looking at his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “I still want to. But I wasn’t ready for it.”

“You’re telling me you are ready now?” he asked, cupping your face once again, finding hard to keep his hand away from you.

You bit your lower lip, shaking your head. “I’m working on it,” you let out a heavy sigh “I’ve been seeing a doctor. To help me with… you know.”

“That’s great!” he smiled, “Honey, that’s really great.”

You looked up at Jinyoung, the way he talked to you warming your heart. You didn’t deserve his praise. You didn’t deserve him. “It’s been only a couple of weeks.”

“It’s progress.” he squeezed your hand again. He pulled you to the couch, sitting on your side, body facing you. “You are so brave and you don’t even know it, do you?”

“I’m not,” you shook your head.

“Of course you are!” he squeezed your hand again. “You let an entire life behind and came here to start a new one. That requires a lot of courage. Even if it was a hurtful life, not everyone can do that. And trusting that you could begin again? That also requires courage.” Jinyoung touched your chin, lifting your face to look at him. “You might not see it now but I’m sure you will.”

“I still have a lot of healing to go through,” you pondered.

“You don’t need to be alone if you don’t want to. Let me be by your side. We can go as slow as you want us to.”

You hugged him, worried that if you said anything, you would just ruin it. That’s not something you were willing to risk. You just hoped that someday, you would be able to give him back all this affection he was giving you so freely.

It was nice having some routine, and you and Jinyoung made sure to have a few together. You started to working out with him again, Jinyoung always taking you to grab a bite before walking you home. He started sleeping at your place every Friday after you assured him that was something you really wanted him to do, even though you weren't feeling ready to share your bed with him.

And always talking on the phone the nights you were apart, even if just for a few minutes before both of you started falling sleep.

Calling him every time you had insomnia was a thing he made you promise you’ll do, even if you were reluctant in the beginning. You were glad that your sleepless nights were becoming less and less frequent.

Jinyoung was always careful with you, especially when it became to touching. It was you who had to make the first move. But you quickly learned how to read him, the way would let his hand brush against yours as you walked side by side, how he stared at your lips when he wanted to kiss you or when he pouted when he wanted a hug.

It was cute, but after a couple of months, you had to make sure to him that it was okay for him to treat you as his girlfriend. But even after he always made sure you were comfortable with anything that he did.

He finally invited you to his place. Not that he didn’t want to take you before. But Jinyoung always felt he needed to let the place more neat for you. “I don’t have enough furniture, there are boxes all around,” he always said. You told you him you didn’t mind but also didn’t want to push him.

You were walking slowly through the park, hands laced together. It was funny how you couldn’t remember being loved, being in love before meeting Jinyoung, a simple smile of him making your heart flutter.

“Jinyoung?” you broke the silence, he answering with a soft hum. “I love you.”

You only noticed he stopped walking when you felt your arm being pulled back. 

“Say it again,” he asked, one arm already enveloping your middle.

You felt your cheeks burn, a timid smile rising on your lips. “I love you.”

Jinyoung had different ways to kiss you, depending on how he or you were feeling. Each one of them was delicious in its own way. But as his lips crashed against yours, you were certain that the “I love you” kiss was your new favorite.

“I love you too,” he said, resting his forehead on yours.

There were still a few boxes on his living room, his mother always sending things she would find at his parents’ house. Jinyoung showed you the place, stopping last at the bedroom, dropping his and your bag over the bed.

“I left a drawer empty for you,” he said, ruffling the hair on the back on his head, something he always did when feeling nervous “I figured we could take turns at each other's places. If that’s okay with you.”

You walked over him, throwing your arms around his neck, “Only if you promise something: we start sleeping in the same bed from now on.”

“I can do that,” he said with a grin, leaning to kiss you “Tell me again.”

“I love you,” you declared, kissing him passionately, excited to see where this new phase would lead you.

[kafkasgods]

faaya shah BOT 10/19/2020 There were a lot of ways to go about the wallet in Faaya’s bag. She could have thrown it away. Could have pilfered it. Could have had someone else return it. She really didn’t have any intention of doing what she was doing now. But after Phobos had visited her, Faaya felt inclined to do the exact opposite of what he would have liked. It was the small, spiteful victories that helped her tolerate Phobos being right with the overall picture. But regardless, that was how Faaya found herself on the other side of 105 at the Gray, hoping she wasn’t being presumptuous in assuming Audrey was home at this hour in the morning. Faaya had just gotten off work, so she figured she’d swing by.

@Audrey Ngo October 20, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 10/20/2020 Audrey had absolutely nothing to do today and was consequently about to crawl out of her skin. She wasn’t quite up to interacting with the town-- something about the streets of Epinieos made her feel positively hateful, so she took to the woods. She’d run for she didn’t know how long, but when she made it back to her apartment, she was sweat-soaked and not in any better of a mood.

Which is way she was surprised to see Faaya there, waiting. Audrey almost faltered, hesitating half a stride before continuing on her approach. Don’t shit where you eat, don’t crumble where you live into ruins just because someone you don’t like at all shows up at your door.

“Did someone like, post my address on Craiglist?” she asked hollowly, brows raising in impatience as she looked between Faaya and the apartment. Annoyance buzzed, insistent, in the back of her mind. “If you’re looking for a second round, I don’t think I have it in me today.” ( @Faaya Shah ) October 22, 2020

faaya shah BOT 10/22/2020 Unexpectedly, Audrey was hesitant upon seeing Faaya and there wasn’t much Faaya could do to alleviate it. “No, but you left it in a crater.” Flashing the wallet at the other woman for a light of understanding, she held it out. “It’s entirely possible I overreacted to something I should be well-used to now. I’m not asking for forgiveness, but if you’re not looking to try and kick my ass again, I can lift your ban at the Grapevine.”

@Audrey Ngo October 23, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 10/23/2020 "Oh." Audrey felt a blush starting in her ears, and sheepishly accepted both her wallet and the olive branch Faaya offered. "It's kinda sad I didn't even notice I lost it, huh?"

She nudged her apartment door open, which she'd left unlocked. It was easier than lugging her keys along on her run. Her head tilted, indicating Faaya could enter her apartment, if she so chose. "I appreciate it. My cousin was pretty dead set on us showing up and making a scene, but she talked herself out of it, thank gods."

Audrey moved as she spoke, fetching two glasses of water from the sink. They were sorely mismatched in size, but she offered Faaya the larger one in her own gesture of goodwill. ( @Faaya Shah ) October 24, 2020

faaya shah BOT 10/24/2020 When Audrey gestured for Faaya to go in, it took her a moment to register the invitation. A little surprised, she entered, warily. She didn’t expect Audrey to do anything untoward, but with a naturally suspicious nature, Faaya was always careful with the unexpected. “If I were you, I wouldn’t tell me her name. I’d hate to lose more business.” The uncaring tone in her voice said differently.

Faaya kept her eyes on Audrey, not looking around the apartment. She wasn’t nosy and it’d be rude. “Thank you,” she said, accepting the water. “You throw a mean punch. Though, I have to ask, has reacting on instinct worked out well?” It wasn’t something she ever did, but of course, she was tempted every now and again.

@Audrey Ngo

audrey ngo BOT 10/24/2020 Audrey shook her head, inhaling her glass of water and replacing it before really speaking. “You know her, she’s really just like that, but it’s all good.” Her shoulders lifted and dropped as she finished her second glass. She should probably dig up some of her gear from the Hunt and start bringing her own nalgene, but that seemed like a pain. Especially with Faaya standing in her house just as prim and competent as she did within the Grapevine.

“As for me, I would say it’s got a fifty-fifty shot of turning out alright. Sorry about your face,” she added as a bit of an afterthought, knowing full well that if she had to craft a proper apology, it wouldn’t sound nearly as sincere. “And your concrete. Just... not really my place to cause a scene. I’ll be on my best behavior next time.” As she spoke, she finally sank into her futon, legs lifting on the back and leaving plenty of room for Faaya to sit, even though she doubted the nightclub manager would. ( @Faaya Shah )

faaya shah BOT 10/24/2020 There wasn’t any need to press for more. If someone else wanted to come swinging, she’d deal with it then. Faaya wasn’t thirsty, but despite most people’s impression of her, she wasn’t rude. Drinking about half the cup, placed it back down on the nearby table. “Thank you,” she said of the apology. It wasn’t necessary, but apologizes took pride and she wasn’t going to spit on Audrey’s. “It might be a headache to deal with, but we’re getting a nicer exterior, so it’s not so bad.”

Audrey seemed to relax as they continued talking and Faaya, who really hadn’t been intending to stay long, found herself taking up the invitation of taking a seat. She guessed it was because it wasn’t like she had anywhere else to be. “Really. It’s less of a headache than the bouncers I have to deal with.��

@Audrey Ngo October 26, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 10/26/2020 Twisting so she was in her preferred position-- upside down with her legs hanging over the back-- Audrey turned her head slightly to keep Faaya in her line of sight. She found she didn’t mind the company. She didn’t even get goosebumps when the child of Phobos sat relatively close. “Yeah? I bet. Not one of them escorted me out, they looked like real knuckledraggers. Really, this issue between us is all their fault.” ( @Faaya Shah ) October 29, 2020

faaya shah BOT 10/29/2020 Faaya snorted at the comment. “Seamus is still kind of a kid and Dayn’s an ex, so it’s not great.” Really, saying it out like that, Faaya wondered what their last manager had been thinking. What they needed was older and more experienced muscle. “But I didn’t hire them and as much as I’d like, I also don’t have just cause to fire them.” She let out a short sigh. “That reminds me I need to find someone for next weekend. I really should have made Dayn look for a replacement.” Even if she was mostly talking to herself, she didn’t want the conversation to be entirely her so she waved her hand brushing it off. “What about you, what do you do?”

@Audrey Ngo November 4, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 11/04/2020 “well, last i checked you weren’t allowed to date your boss, so maybe you can use conflict of interest to get rid of dayn,” audrey suggested. seamus she didn’t know so much about, but she could work on that. it felt good to help faaya with her problems, somewhat. more of an apology through action than through weak words.

“i work at the thrift store. as thrilling as that is,” she continued. then the single, frantic hamster in her brain started spinning on its wheel, and a lightbulb went off. audrey sat up suddenly, probably startling faaya with the swift motion. “let me work the door for you this weekend! i’ve got credentials, we can summon artemis tonight, if you want.” ( @Faaya Shah ) November 5, 2020

faaya shah BOT 11/05/2020 “That’s true, but he doesn’t really stay in jobs very long, so I’m better off waiting it out,” Faaya shrugged lightly. Though Faaya let the threat of being fired hang in the air like a suspended guillotine, she wasn’t one to do it ruthlessly. Yet. The first firing she’d do would have to be someone who would make a lesson to the rest of her staff. Until she met someone willing to push her that far, it just wasn’t a possibility at the moment.

Finding out where Audrey worked a little bit of a surprise. Faaya had been to the thrift store and the quaint place seemed ill-suited to Audrey. Though, she guessed it was retail and a person really needed a fearful backbone to deal with it.

It was in the middle of that thought when Audrey moved quickly in her peripheral vision and Faaya just as abruptly scooted back, giving the woman her full attention. Sudden changes required new suspicious eyes. At least until Audrey made her case clear and Faaya relaxed. “Oh. You want to work for me?” Faaya had just been touching on the idea of older and more experienced muscle and the other didn’t exactly inspire that. At least upon first glance.

Faaya hummed, looking over the immortal Hunter of Artemis, who gave a mean right hook. Faaya was already convinced and willing to try Audrey out, but she would be lying if she said she’d never been curious about the Goddess of the Hunt, so jumping at the opportunity, she asked for the reference. “Sure, summon Artemis.”

@Audrey Ngo November 7, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 11/07/2020 * tw weapon mention * already firing on all cylinders, audrey glanced out her window, gauging the sun as it set behind the trees to the back of her building. “honestly, let’s do it now. hope you don’t mind getting your shoes muddy,” she mused, jumping to her feet and stepping into her gym shoes once again. figuring faaya just wanted to see artemis magic in action. it had been a burning curiosity of her own, so she didn’t look back as she headed towards the treeline.

wandering between the trees, audrey found a nice mossy spot and knelt on the ground, nodding slightly to show faaya she should do the same. bowing her head, audrey began to whisper a prayer to summon artemis. her memory had not failed her there, atleast, as she finished the prayer without stumbling over any of the greek words.

her head didn’t lift until her artemis-gifted bow and quiver materialized in her upraised palms. an impossibly large white stag, seemingly backlit with moonlight, stood in the clearing, liquid dark eyes examining her and faaya. “hey, cery,” she greeted artemis’ companion familiarly. “thanks for coming so fast!”

the stag somehow managed a look of benign amusement. “what is it you require of the goddess, audrey?”

“uh, my brother wanted me to ask for a tiger to ride through the streets, but that’s not a requirement,” she continued quickly. then she followed the cerynitian hind’s gaze to faaya. “oh! and this is faaya, she’s considering me for a position as a bouncer at the local club, which you’ve got to admit is much more suited to my personality than my current place of employment. i just needed a good reference for being strong and dependable.”

“if you were not strong and dependable, audrey, you would not be a very valuable part of the hunt.”

audrey raised her brows at faaya in an i told you so gesture. then she nudged her future employer. “any other questions?” ( @Faaya Shah ) November 9, 2020

faaya shah BOT 11/09/2020 Glancing down at her suede shoes, Faaya really didn’t want to get them dirty. It was only recently that she was able to afford the lifestyle she cultivated for herself and she liked taking care of her things. But there was no backing out meeting Artemis over a pair of shoes, so she resigned herself to following Audrey into the forest quietly like a shadow. Faaya’s only business for the moment was to observe.

It was only when there was a sudden heavy presence did Faaya lift her head, and instinctively, she let a barrier of intimidation surround herself. One that insinuated Faaya was not helpless and a being of fear herself. The stag was beautiful, but she knew to be cautious. Audrey, however, was in her element and it was no sooner that her recommendation was backed up. Faaya couldn't help, but have some distaste upon not being addressed personally. Either way, Faaya didn’t have much questions for the stag. She’d wanted to see the process first-hand, but she had no business with the Hunt. Still, she would look foolish without at least a single question. “If Audrey is so capable, what was the reason she was sent back to Epineios?”

@Audrey Ngo November 12, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 11/12/2020 audrey felt a prickle of annoyance at the other’s question, whipping her head over to squint at faaya. she thought they were cool now, and they probably were, but the tone still rankled. the hunt was not hades’ good graces. audrey actually cared about artemis’ opinion. turning back to cery, she was equally surprised to see the stag’s gaze was locked on faaya, unwavering.

“so you do wish to speak, daughter of phobos,” it noted. “it seemed, with your immediate defense, you wished to be left alone. like a hedgehog that curls away from anything that frightens it, i was content to let you be.” its head inclined once, antlers indicating audrey. she felt a little like she was being sent to the principal’s office.

“audrey volunteered to keep an eye on the town in the goddess’ name. she is perhaps stronger than many demigods, with blessings both from hades and artemis. that being said, she is a bit more ornery than most, so the goddess deigned that a small sabbatical might temper one of the hunt’s youngest member’s instincts somewhat. would she suit your purpose, faaya shah?”

audrey felt the back of her neck heat. when she spoke the words tumbled over each other in her embarrassment. “well, that’s a glowing review, cery. maybe don’t put her on the spot like that.” ( @Faaya Shah ) November 15, 2020

faaya shah BOT 11/15/2020 Upon the thrown away comment, Faaya narrowed her eyes at it. Truthfully, it was hard to tell whether or not she liked the stag. Clearly, it was mocking her, but there was also an appreciation for its wit. She chose to ignore it, allowing the divine animal to speak its truth.

Frankly, the review was promising and the job Faaya had seemed perfect for Audrey. Audrey already possessed better qualities than her current bouncers in her opinion, and in return, working under Faaya would be putting Audrey’s temperament to the test. Faaya replied leveled, “By your word, she does. So I suppose this is a good opportunity to judge the quality your lady Artemis keeps. I should hope not to be disappointed. Send her my and my father’s regards and appreciation.”

Breaking eye contact with the stag for the first time, she turned to Audrey. “You wanna start earlier? I need to train you before you take next weekend’s shift alone.”

@Audrey Ngo November 21, 2020

audrey ngo BOT 11/21/2020 so she got the job, but audrey still felt, keenly, the sense of indignation that came with being talked over. atleast she could focus on faaya’s invitation to distract herself from the feeling she knew would pass after a moment. “yeah, say the word. the thrift store closes before your evening rush even really starts.”

turning back to the cerynitian hind, the ethereal beast guessed her line of thought. “you will not be receiving a tiger from the goddess, audrey. but we are glad to see you find more suitable employment, and seeking peace where there was once animosity. i am going to take my leave now.” the great white stag bowed low to them both, and was gone the next instant.

audrey’s head dipped in silent prayer to the goddess, thanking her for the counsel. when audrey was finished, she pushed up off the ground, brushing dirt from her knees with one hand and offering faaya the other. “if that doesn’t go to show you that all the gods can be pretentious, what would?” she asked casually. “though cery is pretty to look at, atleast.” ( @Faaya Shah )

faaya shah BOT 11/21/2020 emulating audrey in what looked to be a prayer, faaya did the same, whether or not she was meant to. better to be safe than sorry. audrey offered her a hand and faaya took it, pulling up and brushing any lingering dirt off. she was glad to note her shoes weren’t entirely ruined, though there was still the trek back. “that’s true.” she agreed. somehow, she preferred phobo’s lack of mannerisms. “we can start you two days from now, if that works. bring some i.d.” faaya didn’t wait for audrey as she started walking back. “i will say, i’d be glad to finally have a decent employee if this works out, audrey.” she turned her head back to offer audrey a small smile over her shoulder. @Audrey Ngo

[lady-hammerlock]

Assassin’s Creed Rogue - The Novel - Chapter 7

24th July 1757

The very next day Liam and Achilles approached me and asked me whether I had made up my mind. I told them that I had. I held my chin high and announced that I wished to join their brotherhood, meaning it with all my heart. Liam and Achilles both smiled at me, and Liam’s smile at least made me think that I perhaps I had found a way to make him proud of me after all.

I thought that perhaps the three of us might sit down then, and I would finally learn what it was that would be expected of me as an Assassin. Liam had explained their creed and purpose to me reasonably well, but what it was that the Assassins actually did still eluded me.

I was not given any answers on that day either. Instead we launched straight into training. Liam took me to one of the fields full of dummies that we had passed through the previous day, and he set to work guiding me through a few basic exercises, in order to assess my current level of skill.

The next two weeks were a blur of activity. Liam helped me brush up on my swordplay and shooting.

For the first couple of days Hope, when she was seen at all, simply lingered near the two of us and watched us, but eventually she began to speak up, giving either Liam or I suggestions on how to improve. Liam’s body had grown in the years that we had been apart, and he was now exceptionally tall and broad-shouldered. My body had undergone similar changes of course, but I was still a bit smaller and more lithe than my older friend, and because of that Hope was able to show me a few tricks that Liam couldn’t make use of.

I used to think that it wouldn’t be long before I could best them both in combat, but as far as I know I have still not surpassed either of them. Perhaps, with enough training and hard work I might do so one day.

I had been with the Assassins for about a week when Hope woke me early one morning. The sun had barely begun to rise and I am afraid that I muttered some rather unflattering things before she roused me properly with a gentle kick to the gut.

“Come on sleepyhead,” Liam’s voice came from somewhere just above my head. He grabbed one of my arms and helped me hoist myself to my feet.

I had been an early riser during my days on board the Cyrene. My father had insisted upon it. I had, however, become used to sleeping in a little later, and my body was already tired from the days of training it had already been through, so it took quite a while for Liam and Hope to get me on my feet and ready to face whatever challenges lay in front of me.

“What are we doing up so early?” I asked as I trailed along behind the two of them. We had eaten a quick breakfast of oatcakes and had then immediately set out on foot, without either of them giving me even the slightest hint as to what we would be doing.

“Today is a special day Shay,” Liam told me, as though that explained everything.

“But where are we going?” I asked.

In response Hope pointed to a mountain in the distance. By my best estimate it would take us a couple of hours to arrive there on foot. I squinted as I tried to make out more about our destination. As far as I was aware there was nothing particularly interesting about the mountain Hope had singled out.

When the mountain gave me no clues I turned my attention to my two companions. Neither Liam nor Hope seemed to be carrying anything that revealed the purpose of our journey. They were both carrying blades but no pistols, so whatever we were doing was probably unlikely to include much in the way of fighting, and they were both dressed as they normally chose, with the exception of a small knapsack that Liam had added to his ensemble, and which I already knew contained a small amount of food and water, just enough to sustain the three of us for the rest of the day.

The thought occurred to me that perhaps this was some sort of survival training. After all, they had mentioned that it would be part of my training regime. Perhaps the two of them were going to lead me out into the woods where I was supposed to survive on my own or find my way back to the homestead without their help. I had yet to meet the man who was supposed to be in charge of this sort of training; perhaps we were going to meet him?

By midmorning we had reached the foot of the mountain, and up close it looked far more treacherous than I had first anticipated. The mountain’s face was made from jagged chunks of pale grey stone, broken up here and there by patches of whatever hardy plants had managed to grab a foothold. A waterfall cascaded down from somewhere high above, creating a large pool near the base of the mountain.

“Are we going to climb it?” I asked Hope and Liam. I glanced over the equipment that they had brought once more, hoping to catch a glimpse of some rope or climbing tools that I may have overlooked earlier.

“That’s the plan,” Liam told me. He dropped his knapsack on the ground beside us, and brought out the small lunch that we had packed.

We ate in relative silence and then, to my dismay, we left our packs behind.

“We’re not going to want those when we reach the top,” Liam told me. “Trust me; they’re only going to slow us down.”

So there was nothing in there that might help us with the climb; no hooks or rope. I stared back up at the mountain again. It looked as though I had a difficult afternoon ahead of me.

I needn’t have worried. While the mountain was by no means an easy one to conquer, Hope and Liam soon revealed their true purpose in having brought me so far from the homestead. Progress was slow, but as the three of us travelled Hope and Liam showed me how to climb and leap like a true Assassin.

I had thought that my time aboard the Cyrene would have taught me everything I would need to know about climbing, but that was far from the case. Even in her elaborate corset and skirt Hope would have left me in the dust if she and Liam hadn’t been so focussed on carefully and gently showing me how to reach every ledge and make every jump.

Now that I’m writing about it, a certain incident that occurred on that mountain comes to mind.

I did not realise it then, but in retrospect I can see that in those first few days Hope was keeping me at arm’s length. Don’t get me wrong. Unlike La Vérendrye she was perfectly kind to me. She was also perfectly professional, the smiles she directed towards me were always painfully false, and I could tell that she had yet to truly warm up to me. It was almost as though she was being kind to me for Liam’s sake only.

Our climb had brought us to a particularly large chasm. Liam demonstrated how I should leap over the gap first, leaving me standing on the other side with Hope. She started to point out certain things about how Liam had leapt, but then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere her topic of conversation swiftly changed.

“Liam is clearly very important to you,” she said. I stared at her, wondering what the female Assassin could be playing at.

“He’s like a brother to me,” I admitted. Then, when it didn’t look as though she was going to say anything else, I continued to speak. “He’s clearly very important to you as well.”

There was surely no way that Hope could have missed the innuendo in my voice.

“He is,” she admitted, smiling over at Liam where he stood watching us from the other side of the chasm, her manner not giving away anything more about how she might view her relationship with my friend.

For a moment we were both perfectly silent, and then when Hope began to speak once more, it was so she could tell me more about how the two of us were going to manage the leap across.

“Well then,” she said once she was finished with her explanation, brushing off her skirt before gesturing that I should make the next jump. “Considering our mutual regard for Master O’Brien, then I suppose we should ally in our efforts to watch over him and keep him safe.”

It almost seemed as though she was extending an olive branch, trying to find some sort of mutual ground on which we could agree. It was incredibly confusing. I was unaware that we had ever been at war. Hope always was a difficult one to understand however. It was possible that she hadn’t quite accepted me as being a part of their Assassin family until that exact moment.

I nodded.

“Thank you Mistress Hope,” I replied. “I do believe we shall.”

I then made the jump. I only just cleared the distance, and Liam had to drag me up to safety on the other side. Hope of course made the jump flawlessly, and then the three of us were on our way once more.

There were a few other near misses that day. There were a few times when it seemed as though one of us (usually me) was going to fall, but the others were always there to grab me and haul me back up, and together, we slowly but surely conquered every ledge on that mountain.

By the time we reached the top my entire body ached, although my shoulders had the worst of it. It was a deep, satisfying sort of ache however; a sort of ache that I hadn’t felt since I had been working my arse off on board the Cyrene.

And the view on top of that mountain was absolutely spectacular.

It wasn’t the tallest mountain in the area, but its position meant that we were afforded an excellent view of the Davenport homestead, and of the small port nearby and the sea beyond. If I turned my eyes to the north I could see New York as well, the city looking like no more than a tiny settlement in the distance.

“So are the two of you going to tell me what it is we’re doing up here?” I asked Hope and Liam once I had caught my breath. “I mean, the view is lovely, but the way you two were acting made me think there was something more to this.”

Liam and Hope just looked at one another and smiled. Without another word Liam started to walk towards the edge of a nearby cliff. A tree was hanging over the drop. It was a pathetic thing, halfway to falling, and barely large enough to support the weight of a fully grown man. Still, Liam climbed up onto it as though he didn’t have a single worry in the world, and then, slowly and carefully placing one foot in front of the other, he walked out as far as the tree could take him, and perched on the end, surveying the land around him and looking all the world like an eagle about to take flight.

Then, in a way, I suppose that he did. He got back to his feet in one swift movement that was as graceful as anything I had seen him or Hope do in the last few days, and spread his arms out wide on either side, so that his body formed an almost perfect cross.

He turned around just enough to give myself and Hope a wink and a smile, and then he leapt.

I cried out and ran after him. I arrived at the edge of the cliff just in time to watch him twist and turn in mid-air, and then fall into the water below with as small a splash as possible. For a long while I was afraid that he wasn’t going to surface; that his showing off had all been for naught and he had either killed himself or been horribly injured.

And then I spotted him, his head and shoulders having just broken the surface of the water. He let out a cry of joy and waved his arms up at Hope and me.

“Come on in you two!” he yelled. “The water’s lovely.”

I glanced over at Hope, barely able to believe what I had just witnessed. Sure, there had been plenty of water at the bottom to break Liam’s fall, but everything about his movements seemed so deliberate and calculated and fluid, and there was clearly some other significance to the act that I was missing.

“We call it the Leap of Faith,” Hope explained. “You will no doubt find many uses for it in your work for us, but over the years its true significance has come to be as an initiation rite. When you take that leap you are committing yourself, body and soul, to the Assassin cause. It used to be that your first Leap of Faith would be into nothing more than a bale of hay or a large pile of leaves, but we thought the water would be a little safer for now, at least until you get the hang of it. Here, I’ll show you how to move your body during the fall. With any luck the movements will come naturally to you.”

“Hasn’t Liam told you?” I said to Hope as she started to move my arms into the position she desired. “I make my own luck Mistress Hope.”

“Of course you do Shay,” Hope replied, with a wry grin on her face. “Which is why you’re going to practise this with water until your movements are completely perfect, before you use it out in the field, correct?”

Hope guided me through the motions, using her hands to twist my hips or adjust my stance. Her hands were warm, even through the thick fabric of my coat, and even though the many layers of her dress hid the subtleties of her own movements from me, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. If I missed a single point of her instruction, it would have been my own blasted fault for letting my mind wander to places it most definitely shouldn’t.

She walked me through the movements as thoroughly as was possible while on solid land, and then, once she seemed satisfied, she walked over to the tree and performed the same leap that Liam had, albeit minus his smile and wink.

The fact that Hope had managed to climb the mountain in the many layers that she wore had impressed me. The fact that she was able to twist and turn so elegantly in mid-air while wearing them had me completely dumbfounded. She landed in the water with even less of a splash than Liam, and surfaced far quicker.

Liam had been treading water the entire time Hope had been tutoring me. Hope joined him, and the two of them began gesturing for me to perform my first Leap of Faith and join them in the water.

I stepped out onto the tree, terrified that it was going to break beneath my steps. I was sure that if it did break, if the Leap of Faith went wrong or if I sustained an injury, that Liam and Hope would do everything that they could to save me, but the last thing I wanted was to look like a fool in front of them.

My balance was, alas, not nearly as excellent as Liam’s or Hope’s had been, and I wobbled a little, but I eventually made it to the end. The wind suddenly felt stronger than it had before. I closed my eyes, spread my arms wide, and took a deep breath, before performing the Leap of Faith.

Calling it a leap is a little misleading. I have always found that it is more like letting yourself fall, and trusting that the gentle waves, or leaves, or whatever it is you are falling into, will protect you. I suppose that it is why it is called what it is. You must have faith that the world is on your side. I twisted around and curled my body up, just as Hope had instructed, and plunged back-first into the water below.

It stung. I won’t pretend that it didn’t, but the triumphant feeling of having successfully performed the Leap, and the loud congratulations of Liam and Hope swiftly banished any pain or cold I might have otherwise felt.

I don’t remember whether it was Liam or I that started splashing the other first, but soon we were playing around as though we were children once more, and by the time the three of us actually pulled ourselves out of the water we were all half-drowned and all the happier for it.

It was nearing night by the time we made it back to the Homestead. I was glad that it was not winter, because our wet clothes had already chilled us far more than was comfortable. By the time we spotted Achilles standing out front of the Homestead, we were all well and truly ready for the warm fire that we knew waited within.

The three of us ran towards our Mentor with wide smiles on our faces, and when I approached Achilles he looked almost as happy as the three of us. He was also wearing his formal Assassin attire; not something that happened very often, especially when he wasn’t on a mission.

“I take it everything went well?” he asked Liam.

“It did Mentor,” Liam replied.

The two men shook hands and then turned their attention towards me. Achilles always smiled at Liam. It was clear to me at least that he loved Liam as though he was his own son. I very rarely received the same sort of attention, or the same proud smiles that Liam did, but on that night Achilles directed a smile towards me; one that, to me, seemed far brighter than the sun.

“Then I suppose I should formally welcome you into the Assassins,” Achilles said to me.

Achilles reached into the folds of his robe, and pulled out something. At first I didn’t realise what it was, but then he gestured for me to come closer and take it, and I realised with no small amount of joy that he was presenting me with my hidden blade. I had no idea of the weapon’s true significance, but I did know that all of the other Assassins wore at least one wherever they went.

Achilles then had me recite the tenants of the Assassins Creed, and I promised to stay my blade from the flesh of the innocent, to hide in plain sight, and to never compromise the Assassin brotherhood. I think that I was just so excited to belong that in that moment I would have promised them all anything that they wanted me to.

I am slightly ashamed to look back on that night now and think of how I have broken those promises. I am not ashamed of why I did, and I am sure that I would make the same choice again, but sometimes I wish that events did not turn out the way that they have. I joined the Assassins so blindly, and without fully understanding their true purpose, or the things that they would come to ask of me.

Of course I knew that I would be killing for them, and when Achilles helped me to strap the hidden blade to my wrist I couldn’t help but smile, both at the thought of the power that I now wielded, and just because I was so happy to have been formally welcomed into the Brotherhood.

“So, I guess all that’s left is the uniform,” I joked with Liam once the blade was firmly strapped to my wrist, and Liam and Hope had shown me the basics of how to operate it.

“You’re wearing it now jackass,” Liam joked, grabbing my hood and pulling it rather roughly over my head.

While I would learn later that other Brotherhoods, especially those in Europe, tend to have at least something that vaguely resembles a uniform, each of the Colonial Assassins had their own unique look. While Achilles might have possessed something resembling formal Assassin robes, the only thing about our dress that marked the rest of us as Assassins at all was our hidden blades, and the fact that all of our outfits had hoods; great for hiding our faces when on missions, and, I have to say, a damn sight more subtle than some of the elaborate robes of older Brotherhoods that Liam and Achilles have shown me, if a lot less stylish.

That night was a night of celebration. My joy would have probably been enough to keep me warm all on its own, but the three of us were soon changed into warm clothes and had all but forgotten the cold walk back.

Abigail Davenport had prepared an amazing meal in honour of my being officially inducted. It was practically a feast, and the Davenports, myself, Hope and Liam all ate heartily and laughed. La Vérendrye was off on a mission, so even his sour demeanour could not ruin the night.

Things seemed to be looking up. I had a place where I could belong once more, and the chance to make a real difference.

I was such a fool; such a young, naïve fool.

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[noonanie-blog]

[2015] First Christmas

Han Sanghyuk to Ahn Heeyeon: December 24, 2015 /Having convinced the cordinoona he's closest to to sneakily pick you up at your studio, he's busy back at the apartment. He'd brought food from a take-out nearby and set it on the coffee table in the living room, a Christmas tree he's built so they could decorate it together and two gift bags he left on the couch so he wouldn't trip on them as he lit several themed candles around the place. Putting on a Santa Claus hat on the dog and another on himself, he waits for you to arrive patiently.

Ahn Heeyeon /  December 24, 2015 at 12:04pm: /if it hadn't been for the fact that she recognized the woman from having seen her backstage with you, things might have become difficult but she easily goes along with her to the apartment. That's where she had planned on heading anyway but now when she has a hunch that you will really be there it's like her heart gives out for a second from beating way too fast. Taking the stairs, she makes her way up to the front door that she opens without any hesitation and holds on to the bags she's brought with her so the dog won't get access to them, the door closing behind her and she toes her shoes off, every one of her movements laced with excitement from the fact that it's Christmas time and because you're nearby - she can feel it;

Han Sanghyuk / December 26, 2015 at 3:52am: /he's lighting the last candle in the living room when you arrive and he can't help himself so he meets and greets you at the entrance, the dog running after him and greeting you just as happily. His arms go straight around your waist and he lifts you up in a tight hug; Merry Christmas! /he yells out and spins you around once before putting you down again, hands now cupping your face as he presses his lips to yours firmly; Come on, come on! You're late, Santa's already dropped off your gifts! And we don't even have a tree yet. /he then gives your elbow a gentle tug, careful so you wouldn't drop your bags, and hurries into the living room again, the dog following after him; Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells~!

Ahn Heeyeon /  December 26, 2015 at 7:36am: /she isn't given much time to process anything but she squeals loudly when her feet leaves the floor (she should be used to being picked up randomly by now but she isn't) and she returns the hug as much as she can through the laughter that bubbles up and spills past her lips. She shrugs off her jacket and puts it away when she's safely back on the ground again; I'm coming, I'm coming! /it's as if she has stepped into a bubble of excitement and happiness, her eyes sparkling brightly when she glides into the living room on her socks; You should greet me like this every time I come home! Whoa! /and she crouches down after putting her bags on the couch, making sure to greet the dog properly and give her her fair share of attention by petting and kissing her, getting sort of distracted by that for a moment; Look at you and your little Santa hat!

Han Sanghyuk /  December 28, 2015 at 9:10pm: /he's clearly hyper. Not only it's Christmas time but you're there with him to share even if just a part of that day with him and that makes him happier than even he thought it would. He looks over his shoulder at you when you speak again and he chuckles loudly, tossing you a couple of decorations when you put the bags down; Here you go. Start decorating as I open my presents. /he laughs again and hurries over to where you put the bags, rubbing his hands together and glancing at you for permission - only to realise your attention is on the dog and not him; NOONA! /he yells with the same silly grin and points at the bags; It was my idea, not hers. She wrestled me not to put it on her. And besides mine looks better. /he wobbles his head playfully.

Ahn Heeyeon /  December 29, 2015 at 1:22am: Your dad's so noisy /she says with a laugh, scratching behind the dog's ear before standing up straight again and she turns to you instead; Look at /you/ and your little Santa hat. /reaching up, she touches her fingers to the fabric of your hat while cradling the decorations with her other arm and she makes sure to shower you with some extra attention, the grin that was plastered on her face staying firmly in place; Yours definitely looks better, of course. You pull it off really well.. Even better than Santa Claus himself. But if you so much as touch those presents now, I'm returning them to where I got them from. We're going to decorate the tree first of all. Presents come later. /after putting the decoration pieces on the couch and giving your cheek a loving pat, she unpacks a couple of neatly wrapped presents that she stacks in a pile on the sofa and proceeds to the other bag from which she takes out a couple of boxes with Christmas cookies and pastries; Umma made these, they're all free of lactose, I made sure of that.

Han Sanghyuk /  January 4, 2016 at 4:29pm: /he's so pleased with himself when your attention is back on him and you're touching his hat, he just grins like the silly goof that he is. Which, of course, fades when you turn him down, his lower lip jutting out in a playful pout at the pat to his cheek; Aish... /he's focused on what you're doing, checking each box out before he decides he should do the same with his gifts for you; Wait, wait, let me add yours too. /he reaches inside the two bags he'd gotten and puts the six small boxes down in two different piles, looking at them with his head slightly tilted when he straightens up. He immediately turns to you when you speak again and his grin is back! So bright as he reaches out to take the boxes from you, which he puts down on the couch so he can wrap his arms around you and pull you to him for a kiss; You're so thoughtful. Thank you, noona.

Ahn Heeyeon /  January 5, 2016 at 10:51pm: Don't want you to end up with a stomach ache is all. /she mumbles against your lips when she tiptoes to initiate another kiss, squeezing your waist lightly with her hands; You can help your pup open the her presents first, if you want. /yes, she actually got something for the dog too - two of the seven gifts she had put on the couch was for her and she points them out before picking up the decorations again, smiling; And I'm guessing we should eat that before digging into the pastries. /she motions at the take out food that had been set on the coffee table before she steps closer to the tree so she can get a better look at it and put the first piece of decoration on there when she has picked out a suitable branch - or well, she thought about it long and hard (longer than necessary) until she grew impatient and just sort of threw it on a random branch instead;

Han Sanghyuk /  January 10, 2016 at 6:58pm: Yes, ummacita~ /he chuckles against your lips and then moves to pick up the presents you pointed at for the dog; You got her gifts too? Even I didn't. I'll just tell her they're mine so she won't feel sad. /he glances at you teasingly and takes a seat on the couch to open them, the puppy coming over to sit beside him; Yes, yes, they're yours but I get to open them. Get off of me. /he laughs when she tries to climb onto his lap, which only increases in sound when he hears something being thrown at the tree and looks up just in time to see your annoyed expression; What did the tree ever do to you? Baby... /he reaches his hand out to you; Come here, we'll handle the tree later, okay? Don't kill it just yet.

Ahn Heeyeon /  January 12, 2016 at 3:09pm: It just didn't have a good enough branch.. /she mumbles, putting the rest of the decorations down so she can grab a hold of your hand instead and sit down with you, her expression changing immediately as if the proximity between them eliminates any traces of the annoyance she had experienced just seconds before. Smiling, she once again grabs one of the Christmas ornaments just so she can hang it on your ear instead - putting the little plastic hook behind your ear and fiddling a little with your hair that's peeking out from underneath the hat while singing softly in English as she waits for you to go on with the presents - the larger one being a bed to enhance the dog's "manliness" and "coolness"; Deck the hall with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la. 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.

Han Sanghyuk /  January 28, 2016 at 6:13pm: /he pats at your leg when you come sit beside him, offering the brightest of grins and shaking his head playfully when you hang the object on his ear; Oh darling~ So fabulous. /he tilts his head and lifts an arm as if he's posing, chuckling at his own antics before turning to open the gifts. With a yelp and a screech to make the dog react (which she does because she starts barking right away) he puts the bed by his feet which Dagger jumps on instantly and rolls over repeatedly, so excited; Holy cow, this is perfect. Look at her, she loves it. /he turns to you and smacks a kiss to your singing lips; You're perfect. /he then opens the bowl and laughs, turning it in his hand to take a good look at it; How did you guess it's so her? Thanks, baby. These are great.

Ahn Heeyeon /  January 31, 2016 at 12:46am : /her singing gets cut off by laughter because of your actions before she resumes her "fa la la's", her arms slipping around your middle when you're busy opening Dagger's presents and her cheek comes to rest on your shoulder after she shifted onto her knees. The singing stops after you've kissed her and she tightens her arms around you in a squeeze; I'm awesome like that. You're welcome! /then she reaches for a small box that has been neatly wrapped up, carefully placing that into your hands and sneaking a peck to your cheek at the same time; This one's for you. You opened Dagger's presents so well so you deserve one too~. /it's a coin sized pocket token and she's had it engraved with words that mean something to the both of them; You can carry it with you everywhere you go.

Han Sanghyuk /  February 15, 2016 at 7:28pm: /he means to hold you to him to further show his appreciation for the gifts but then you're handing him yet another box and he focuses on that for now. Glancing up at you as he opens it, he's smiling so brightly his cheeks hurt. When he opens it, though, the smile fades and an expression of utter surprise takes over his features; Holy... /he huffs, looking up at you and back down at the token, then back up at you, his smile returning just as wide as before; This is awesome. Thank you, baby. /he then turns so he can hug you tightly to him, head tilting to press a quick peck to yours; I love it. Now! What's next? /he chuckles, wiggling playfully.

Ahn Heeyeon /  February 19, 2016 at 12:45am: You're the real Super Hyogi, so.. The original. /she watches your reaction appreciatively, the hug and the peck to her head making her want to give you yet another present. She laughs, shaking her head at you and reaches for a soft package this time around that she dumps into your lap; You're so spoiled. But this one you can only wear around the apartment when I'm here. Actually this might be more like a present to myself... You're not allowed wear anything underneath that. /she pets Dagger a bit so the dog would be showered with attention too and she does so happily;

Han Sanghyuk /  February 24, 2016 at 9:26pm: I am~ Your Super Hyogi. /he doesn't really let go of you as you move, whether it's your waist or your arm or your hand he's holding, there's not one second where he's not touching you. When the package is placed in his lap, however, he's forced to let go so he can open it and a loud, amused laugh erupts from him when he holds the t-shirt up to check it. Standing up, he removes the one he's wearing and - after throwing it at you - he puts on the new one; Let's try it out! Go! /he puts his hands up as claws, and raises his upper lift in a snarl.

Ahn Heeyeon /  March 1, 2016 at 10:11am: Ohohoho! /she's as amused as you are at the sight of the shirt even if she had already seen it before. She laughs when fabric hits her smack in the face and the urge to thow that t-shirt right back at you is there but she can't because it smells like you and she loves that so instead she hugs the shirt to her chest. Tucking her legs in under her where she's sitting, she then points at you, grinning excitedly; Jagi, let me ask you an important question! What's that about your... T-rex?! What T-rex?!

Han Sanghyuk /  March 15, 2016 at 5:58pm: /he holds his position even if he's so amused by the whole thing and he saves an 'aww' when you hold on to his shirt for later because that would ruin his little act. When you finally say the words, he pulls the front of his shirt up and over his head with a 'rawwwwwr', which soon becomes a high pitched laugh, something that is so common for him when he's that silly or entertained. He ends up dropping to his knees and curl in a ball on his side as he laughs, the shirt still over his head.

Ahn Heeyeon /  March 17, 2016 at 1:59am: /your laughter is so contagious that she cracks up as well and she tips sideways on the couch until she's on her side too, still clutching your shirt to her chest as she laughs (she did eye all that skin that was revealed before you went down though!). She doesn't stay on the couch for long, her hands connecting with the floor first as she crawls off of it and makes her way over to you; Ya-Yah, don't suffocate- /she laughs, sliding one hand across your lower back while the other tugs the shirt down; I now have a favorite T-Rex!!

Han Sanghyuk /  March 21, 2016 at 4:35am: /he flinches at the touch of your hand to his back, thinking you were about to tickle him but when he realises it's something completely different, he lets you remove the shirt from over his head and tug it down without a fuss. He remains on the ground, though, and looking up at you he smiles as brightly as before, his hand reaching out to your arm which he grips gently to pull you closer to him; This shirt is awesome. You're awesome. Thank you, noona.

Ahn Heeyeon /  March 22, 2016 at 6:18pm: /she leans a little closer, still hovering above you and her smile is mirroring yours when it comes to the brightness of it. She slowly lifts a hand to gently swipe your hair back from your face while the other hand smooths down the shirt over your torso, patting over your stomach rather lovingly; You're welcome. I must say that I like this shirt a lot more than I thought I would, hmmmm.. Probably because you pull it off so well.

Han Sanghyuk /  April 12, 2016 at 5:14pm: /he lifts himself up quickly to steal a peck to your lips and he sits there with his legs crossed and his hands linked on his lap. Smiling goofily at you, he tilts his head with a chuckle; Did you get me this shirt so you could see my stomach? You did, didn't you? You know you can just ask me and I'll be happily shirtless for you... /he reaches down and pulls at the hem of his shirt to remove it so he is indeed shirtless, wrapping it around his head like a bandana; How do you like it now?

Ahn Heeyeon /  April 13, 2016 at 10:46pm: Maaaaaybe. /she tips her head to the left and then to the right, feigning innocence until you're actually undressing and then she doesn't look so naive anymore, instead a very pleased smile spreads across her face and she shamelessly lets her gaze drop to eye your torso; Although this isn't as fun as asking you about your t-rex.. I do appreciate the view right now. /she reaches out to pinch one of your nipples;

Han Sanghyuk /  May 12, 2016 at 5:19am: /he laughs even after he'd tried to remain serious, even flirty with his arched brow and the slight tilt of his head. When you reach for his nipple, though, he flinches and grabs your hand instead, tugging you quickly and somewhat harshly so you wouldn't be able to pull away. He catches you in his free arm around your waist so you wouldn't indeed move away from him and just holds you like that, tightly to him; I want you to remove your shirt as well.

Ahn Heeyeon /  May 13, 2016 at 1:48am: /she yelps softly when she's tugged forward and her expression changes from surprised to playfully annoyed, her body melting into yours despite the look on her face that she tries to keep but no matter how hard she tries it fades and a laugh slips past her lips; Why? Have we become nudists all of a sudden so we're going to prance around naked in the apartment? /she pushes at your chest until there's a little space between them, enough so she can reach down for the hem of her own shirt and she tugs it up just a little to reveal her toned stomach, her abs on full display when she stops just below her breasts; Higher? /she asks in light tone like it isn't a big deal at all, the months she's spent with you having made her that much more comfortable in her own skin - at least around you;

Han Sanghyuk /  June 10, 2016 at 6:11pm: /he nods at the first question, his smile the furthest thing from sweet. He's smirking at you and even through his playfulness it's clear how his gaze shifts completely into something a little more... lustful. When you move away, he looks down at your hands and at the sight of your stomach, he licks over his lips as he goes through the new ideas popping in his mind. With a meaningful glance back up at you, he quirks a brow; You tell me. /he's the one pulling away now, only to dip his head and press his lips to your revealed stomach, which he soon parts to flick his tongue across your skin.

Ahn Heeyeon /  June 11, 2016 at 11:19pm: /she isn't unaffected by anything you do and her skin knots into goosebumps but she doesn't want to give in so easily, playfully letting her shirt drop back down and she scoots backwards a little; Time to decorate the tree! /she laughs softly, turning around to crawl away from you and over to the tree instead. She senses your lusty side taking over and if you'd pursue her, she wants to give you something to work for, a little challenge perhaps. Unless you went along with decorating the tree, then she'd just reward you later - either way, she was on board with what went through your mind;

Han Sanghyuk / June 13, 2016 at 3:58am: /he's a little confused at first, his mind having been in a completely different state the moment you pull away. He stands up slowly and he can't really make out what you're doing but he isn't taking any of it. He does see it as a challenge and it only fuels his already growing hunger, the pursuit being something he particularly fancies. He steps closer (waaaay too close) to you and reaches a hand behind you for the tree, pushing it down yet never averting his eyes from yours; What tree?

Ahn Heeyeon / June 13, 2016 at 10:01pm: /she bites back her lip in amusement and peers up at you as innocently as she can, pretending she doesn't have a clue why you're acting the way you are even though she's fully aware of your intentions; I swear there was a tree right here a second ago.. Hmmm... /she clasps her hands behind her back and slowly, almost thoughtfully, walks toward the coffee table, making a slow sweeping gesture at the food and pastries; All this food.. We should eat it now, shouldn't we?

Han Sanghyuk /  June 21, 2016 at 7:49pm: /he actually grunts when you move away, turning in your direction but still standing his ground. The whole dance you're making them do just adds to his eagerness to take you right here and now - you had turned that button on and there's no other way he can switch it off now - unless you shove him in the shower and turn the cold water on. Or of course... if you actually meant that you weren't into it. Licking over his lips, he moves his hands slowly to his pants,  undoing them and making a show out of unzipping; I don't see any food.

Ahn Heeyeon /  June 25, 2016 at 5:30pm: /she's honestly having a blast and despite the innocence that still lingers with her from lack of experience, she knows exactly what she's doing and the fact that she knows you find her attractive is the boost she needs to pull off something like this. Getting (very) distracted by the show you put on by unzipping your pants, she watches for a moment and just the display alone of your torso and your hands working on your pants makes her arousal surge through her; You must be blind, it's riiiight.. Here. /and she slowly bends over to pick up a pastry, giving you a generous view of her behind in her skin tight leggings before she straightens up (hey, two can play this game!) and she decides to keep playing around so she walks toward the doorway to leave the living room, swaying her hips a little more than necessary -- she's curious of how far she could keep it going; I think I need a glass of wa~ter.

Han Sanghyuk /  July 9, 2016 at 1:36am: /he's taken aback when you don't fall for his little act right away, his lips parting and his mouth dropping slightly as he watches you in astonishment and then... ooooh amazement. He eyes you shamelessly, his eyes fixed on your butt as you bend over and-- what are you doing exactly? He can't see what's in your hand, he doesn't dare to look away from where he wants to touch, to invade... to ravish. The second he does take his eyes off of your body is to meet yours but then you're turning around and he just can't help himself; Hani... /he moans in half-frustration half-need and only when you disappear from behind the doorway, he follows you. And he doesn't do it lightly or slowly. He pretty much charges at you - there's no hesitation, no fear, no mercy as he enters the kitchen after you. His hands are at your hips as he pushes you forward from behind you, his own pressing against your ass while a grunt slips past his lips; What are you doing to me, woman. /he slaps a hand across your right cheek and keeps it there, squeezing.

Ahn Heeyeon /  July 16, 2016 at 12:40am: /she can hear your footsteps close in on her and she's ready for the impact, she can sense the fearlessness in your approach and once their bodies connect, she drops the pastry into the sink so she can brace her hands against the edge of a counter. A breath hitches in her throat simply because you're so close to her but it's that slap that really makes her react, a shudder passing through her body and her eyes widen only to fall shut a second later, gasping -  Jesus, what was that? The squeeze that follows forces a moan from her and she pushes back against you, right into your hand and against your crotch, her need matching yours; Hyuk- /she sighs, her body reacting so well to you that she's already damp between her legs and wetter she gets as the seconds pass by, her skin heated, warm to the touch and it's a little amusing how riled up she can get you, not only that but it's astonishing too - that you and her work like that, react so well to one another, that their bodies fit so perfectly; You want this? /she laughs softly, breathlessly, teasingly as she pushes her butt out some more, leaning forward a little while supporting herself against the counter  and she gives you a coyly flirtatious look over her shoulder; You don't want to, ah, dress the tree, eat the food.. Have a, mmm, glass of water?

Han Sanghyuk /  August 8, 2016 at 3:18am: /his heavy breathing starts almost immediately and the sting in his hand after that slap to your ass makes him want to do it again. But he doesn't, he keeps on squeezing just as he inches his hand closer to where your legs meet, the welcoming warmth making him grunt low close to your ear. For the first time, he doesn't have to set your hair to the side as the new length allows him instant access to your neck which he latches on with his lips to taste you, spoil you, connect further with you. The sound of your voice combined with the push  of your butt against his crotch has him grabbing you by the hips and dry-thrust once in a much heated response to your initiative, not just to increase contact and create friction but to show you just how ready he is to take you right there and then. He then straightens up a bit, looking down at their bodies separated only by fabric and he immediately feels the need to rip it all off. When you speak again, he looks up, though and as he sees you looking back at him in that matter he loses it; I want to undress you, eat you and have you swallow all the water I have to offer. /he doesn't waste time, his hands reaching around you to start doing just that.

Ahn Heeyeon /  August 9, 2016 at 6:24pm: /she bites her bottom lip and dips her head a bit to watch your hands, wanting desperately to feel you on her, inside, all over and what you said only fueled that need that ran deeper than any other craving she had ever had. A part of her wanted to reach down and help you get her undressed but she held back as another part of her wanted you to do all the work, she wanted to leave herself to you completely and so she settles for practically ripping open the large flannel button up shirt she's wearing, the shirt slipping off her shoulders once it's come undone and reveals even more of her skin. She leaves it on, hanging low on her shoulders, front open to display the white bra she's wearing even if you can't exactly see it when you're situated behind her and she leaves her pants to you, moaning softly even when they haven't done much at all but the anticipation is making her so hot, her skin burning and she wants to egg you on more, entice you, encourage you; I need to feel you.. Hyuk.. Ah-- Do whatever you want with me- Please--

Han Sanghyuk /  September 5, 2016 at 4:23am: /he had never been so happy indulging your requests, a chuckle even leaving him at how excited he is for this, how amazing it already feels and all they had done is tease each other. Well, you had, he just responded hungrily. He skillfully pulls your pants and underwear down to your thighs - just enough to reach where he wants to be in so badly. He catches movement with his eyes when you make a show out of removing your shirt, a soft sound of approval leaving him at the sight. His lips find your neck once again and his hands slide upward to cup your breasts and cupping he really does. Sinking his fingers into soft flesh, he moves his hands in circular motions to feel you up shamelessly just as his hips resume the grinding against your bare ass; So needy. /he whispers, tongue slipping out and sliding up to your ear; Should I fuck you right here? Should I fuck you hard, Hani? /one of his hands drops to free his aching length of its fabric enclosure and he runs the tip against your cheeks and then between them, opening way for himself; Tell me how you want me to fuck you.

Ahn Heeyeon /  September 7, 2016 at 1:44am: /she grips the counter with one hand while she lifts the other to place over yours, squeezing over yours to get you to continue grabbing at her sensitive breast and she doesn't mind how firm you are with it - to her it feels good and it's clear with how she moans, the sounds hiking up in volume when she feels the tip of your length tease her just shy of where she wants you, where she needs you and a part of her is in disbelief regarding the way you talk to her, such straightforward words that makes something unfurl inside her stomach and it's like the more open you are the more open she is, the more straightforward you are the more straightforward she is and it takes a little courage on her part but after she's shifted and widened the gap between her feet to make it easier to reach that intimate part of her she finds her voice and her words are clear albeit a little breathy; Take me-- /she starts, pushing her ass out a bit; /Fuck/ me /she utters next, nearly whining because you really have her right there on the edge of desperation, the desire she holds for you and no one else blossoming and growing stronger, the desire she's never experienced before you overwhelming her in the best way possible and making her body react in so many ways -- she's wet and only getting wetter, her nipples are tight, the buds hard and goosebumps have formed over the skin on her chest, eyes bright when she glances back at you, her nose wrinkled in frustration when she wants to be stretched around you and it's the frustration that pushes her to talk even more; Fuck me hard, Sanghyuk, right here- Fuck me here in the kitchen-- /Please/!

Han Sanghyuk /  October 26, 2016 at 8:19pm: /it doesn't come to him as a surprise that you're responding to his request in a manner as blunt as his and it if wasn't for his own desperation he'd take the time to explore that side of you, that very side that drives him close to insanity every single time they're intimate, that side he brought out of you many months ago for the first time. You're so ready for him, so eager to take what he's about to give you, he doesn't even have to check for himself because when you open your legs further and his length naturally slides up at the invitation he's right where he needs to be - the only thing he has to do is push his hips forward to feel how wet and warm you are against his tip. He doesn't waste any time, he's very much aware that you're on board with his intent to take you as hard as he can against this counter - and that he does. He's merciless and he doesn't pay tribute to any romance or sweetness they usually share. His free hand pushes at the center of your back to bend you over the counter and then grips at hip, the one he had on your breast lifted to your hair where his fingers tangle with the strands, and without saying a word he pushes into you with purpose, the motion followed by several more until he needs both hands at your hips to steady you some. He groans deeply at the growing tension in his lower abdomen and he relishes every bittersweet second of it. As he's not the type to be very vocal he keeps his thoughts to himself as he watches himself slam into you. "Fuck, she's so wet.", "God, so warm.", "Harder, Hyuk, har-- that's right. Oh fuck that's good.", "So hot. So hot... All mine. Yes, oh yes, all mine."