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#she was probably looking forward to it and so excited
littlelamy · 11 hours
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i luv shopaholic reader🛍️how about when she comes back him from a long day of shopping she makes rafe sit down and look at everything she got bonus if barry happens to be there😭
a/n: i am happy you love her! i was so scared to write out the ask so i feel so much better know so many people like shopaholic reader! 😝thank you for sending a request 🤍
you push open the door with a grin, arms heavy with bags from your long day out. the living room lights cast a warm glow, and you spot rafe lounging on the couch, his long legs stretched out, one arm lazily draped over the backrest. barry is there too, slouched next to him, probably running his mouth as usual.
rafe’s eyes land on you immediately, that familiar smirk playing on his lips. "well, well, look who’s back," he drawls, glancing at the mountain of bags in your hands. "how much damage did you do today?"
you step into the room, dropping your bags with a dramatic sigh. "enough," you tease, leaning down to start rummaging through your purchases. "and now you get to sit here and admire all the amazing things i got."
barry chuckles from the other side of the couch. "oh, this should be good. let’s see what you got for pretty boy over here."
rafe rolls his eyes, shifting in his seat. "barry, shut up."
you pull out the first item, a sleek black dress that you’re particularly excited about, holding it up against your body and giving a little twirl. "so… what do you think? date night material?"
rafe’s gaze darkens, his eyes raking over you slowly. "definitely. though i’d prefer if you weren’t wearing anything at all."
you toss the dress at him, heat creeping up your cheeks. "behave."
rafe catches the dress, his smirk widening as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "come here and i might."
barry snickers. "damn, she’s got you real bad, huh?"
ignoring barry, you pull out a pair of shoes next. "these? i bought just because i knew they’d drive you crazy."
rafe’s eyes flick down to the strappy heels, and you can see the flicker of approval in his gaze. "put ‘em on."
"you wish." you flash him a playful smile, slipping the heels back into the box. "maybe if you’re good."
barry throws his head back, laughing. "this is better than i thought. i’m staying."
rafe’s eyes narrow at barry, but he turns his attention back to you, a more dangerous edge to his voice. "you really gonna make me sit here and watch you play dress-up all night, or are you gonna come over here and give me a real show?"
you walk closer, your eyes locking with his, the tension crackling between you. "a real show, huh?" you lean down just enough so that your lips are inches from his. "what do i get out of it?"
rafe’s hand moves to your waist, pulling you the rest of the way until you're sitting in his lap. "you’ll get more than you can handle."
barry rolls his eyes. "okay, i’m outta here before it gets x-rated."
you laugh, but the sound fades as rafe's hand slides up your thigh, his lips brushing against your ear. "now, show me what else you bought, or i’ll lose interest real fast."
you smirk, giving him a teasing look. "oh, i don’t think you’re gonna lose interest anytime soon."
taglist (if you want to be added comment below): princessslutt averyoceanblvd iknowthatsrightbih starkeysprincess sixrosberg anamiad00msday
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f4iry-bell · 2 days
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𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 | 𝟏
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pairing: popula!jameson hawthorne x nerd/goodgirl!reader
summary: who would have guessed taking an unwanted picture of her could lead to that tense moment? more than that, who would have thought it would get his attention to make a deal? and guys like him drain a person inside out when are interested in you.
warning: jamie being a slight jerk, very little. little over the top reader(?)
series taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @lyra-kane @bewitchingkisses @zenikswaffleshop @off-to-the-r4ces @jamcarven (lmk if you want to be added!)
a/n: IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WHOLE THING, YAY. a lot of jerk jamie in this fuc guys. sorry;(
word count: 1.5k
masterlist | series master list
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“Did you just take a picture of me?” The tone and how sharp it was so surprising to the two boys to her side, one with the camera, and one with a stupid smile.
“Maybe.” The boy who was holding the camera didn't take her frowned brows, and dagger throwing eyes at him seriously. No one really takes her seriously, most of the time she is just invisible but definitely not today.
“Delete it.” She demanded, taking a step closer.
“Aw, don't want others to see your pretty face?” The boy holding the camera teased her, and then turned to his green eyes friend with a stupid smirk.
“I said, delete it.” she demanded again, this time more serious and firm than before.
“Or what?”
“I'll sue you. I'll take you to court, but before that I would like to formally inform the student body for violating my privacy, and I'm pretty sure you'd be dealt with by the faculty.” She didn't blink once, she adjusted her glasses after ending her threat.
“Woah, now let's not go there, princess” the green-eyed boy took a step forward with his hands in front in defense. “We don't want trouble.”
“She's bluffing.” The idiot with the camera said.
“She's not.” The other guy said without taking his gaze away from her face. And he is right. She's not bluffing.
The idiot was looking at her face, scanning to see what the other guy was seeing. “Alright, I'll delete it. I was just taking random pictures of the campus anyway.”
She was waiting for him to do it, but he didn't do it, yet. “Do it, right now.”
“I'll delete it later.” He said.
“Delete it now, Cory.” The green-eyed spoke, she almost thought he was a decent guy. Almost, until he spoke again. “We don't want our front row princess to tell on us to her teacher, now do we?” His lips curved up to a stupid, irritating smirk.
Her face could have sworn it was hot as hell from all the anger if it was possible. Cory finally deleted it, and showed her. “There, happy now?”
She didn't reply, just turned and walked away from them. She could feel as though her skin was being burnt because she knew that a pair of beautiful green eyes was staring at her as she walked away.
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Two weeks have passed since this incident. Jameson has forgotten about it or so he thought, he did see her in class and think about how different she was that day from how she acts in class, she almost speaks to no one other than the professor to ask for doubts or questions. He wondered if she even has friends, with her introverted personality, and quick to try and sue anyone who would want to be friends with her? Or the real question is, does she want to be friends with anyone at all?
Yeah, she probably hates everyone. But why is it taking psychology? Maybe that's not her major, he wondered what her major would be. It's definitely not psychology, because he can't imagine her as a psychologist. Maybe she majors in business, but then again, why would she take psych?
Why are his thoughts filled with her and her life? She is no one. She is just some girl passing by, a girl who happened to be more than just what she shows. He knows that, Jameson knows how to read people. Even before his psychology classes, he was not as good as his brother but he is good, and he can read her, just a little more time with her, and he'll have a master degree on her.
The next couple days Jameson skipped psychology classes because he couldn't help but stare and observe her, it was getting ridiculous to the point that even Dean who sleeps in class noticed it. For two days Jameson spent psychology class hours on the rooftop, he has done this on Heights Country High, why not in Yale too? But today was different, the door’s latch was already open, and the door was about 4 inches open.
He pushes past the door and saw someone standing near the edge, at first he thought this was a suicide attempt, but the person was calm, quiet, looking everywhere with a notepad on one hand and a pen on the other. The person was a girl who wore her hair up in a ponytail, her skirt was moving in the direction of the wind, he knew who it was. He could never forget her back profile.
“Well, well, well. If it isn't my favourite front row princess.” He regretted speaking out of the blue because it scared her to the point she jerked up, she could have fallen.
“Fuck!” She yelped.
“You know how to curse?” He teased her.
“Yes, asshole. I’m not 2.” She rolled her eyes when she turned to see who it was.
He smiled. “Never thought I'd see the day where you'd skip classes. Or are you stalking me?”
“Last I checked, I was here first. So, are you stalking me?” she asked.
“I've been here for a couple days, princess. What are you doing here?” He answered and asked the question out of curiosity.
“What are you doing here?”
“You first.”
“No.”
“I'll figure it out on my own.” He said and started to observe, she was writing something down before he interrupted her. He can't figure it out, it's too vague, maybe if she gave her notepad he could get something.
She was quicker than him, she somehow figured that he was about to snatch her notepad from her, and was on her guard.
“Come on. How about we make a deal, yeah? You tell me why you are skipping class and hanging out with yourself on the rooftop, and I'll owe you one.” He tried.
“How do I know that you'd actually keep your word?” She raised an eyebrow, rolling her eyes.
“A Hawthorne never not keep his word.” He said it out proudly. Something to be proud of from that name.
“Right, you're a Hawthorne.” She added. “Why are you so determined to know why I'm here? You get nothing out of it, and yet you're saying you'll owe me one.” She was questioning whether or not to agree to this deal. Having Jameson Hawthorne owe you one is a vid deal.
“I'm a man of mysteries. I also tend to like mysteries. And you, princess? One hell of a mystery. I figured that much two weeks ago when you threatened to sue my friend.” He smiled, taking a step closer. “So? What do you say? Deal?” He asked.
She sighed. “For my journalism class, I have to write about something new…something that is ‘not in my bubble’ as my professor worded it, hence the rooftop.”
Jameson’s face was pulled together in confusion. “Still a bit vague. Are you going to try to fly?”
She rolled her eyes which made him smile. “No. Just looking at people from a different perspective. I don't think I can go out of my bubble but I can always observe people from different angles and be them for a while to write a different story. Sounds a bit stupid but it'll work. And I'll get an A.”
Jameson noticed how her eyes sparkled when she said ‘I'll get an A.” It made him smile even wider.
“That's still not doing what your professor asked.” He pointed it out.
“But it's not the same repetitive story as before. It's new, so.” She shrugged.
Jameson was quiet for a while. “You said you can't go out of your bubble. Is it can't or won't?”
She just glared at him as if he lied about something. Ironically he only told the truth.
“See? You don't even try, and say you can't.”
“It's not easy for me, okay? If I do new things out of the blue, people will stare at me, look at me weirdly or bully me too. I can't just step out of my bubble like that. Even if people are nice, it's me. I'm awkward, and just stupid when it comes to socialising or anything that's not just academics, and some extracurriculars that I do.” She let out a quick sigh before shaking her head.
“So stupid. I don't even know why I'm telling you this.” She murmured.
Jameson was quiet for a few seconds. “I'll tell you what. I said I owe you one, right? How about this; I help you get out of your bubble. I'll help you socialise and all that stuff, stuff that are not you. I'll help you with them.”
“When you owe someone it's up to them to decide what it is.” She said with a little sass.
“I know, princess. But think about it. It's a good one. I'm just suggesting, it's up to you.” He took another step, now only two feet away from her with his hands extended in front. “Deal?”
She bit her lips out of frustration.
Jameson chuckled. “Take it or leave it. Don't need to kill yourself over it.” But he wanted her to take it, so bad.
She let go of her bottom lips, and relaxed her shoulders. She passed the pen to the other hand, holding both the notepad and pen in one, she spoke “deal.”
Her soft palm met his and shook gently. The touch shouldn't have sent goosebumps to Jameson but it did.
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Make Me Write ask answered
162 📖 for @inell!
---
When they arrive at the fire station, Eddie is indeed in rough shape. Scratched, damp, and wearing a heating blanket. 
“Buck, why is my dad dressed like a baked potato?” Chris asks nervously when he sees him. 
Eddie is sitting in the back of an ambulance, looking a little sleepy. The other paramedic - the one that isn’t Chimney - is talking to him. 
“It’s keeping him warm,” Buck explains. “Why don’t you go see him? That’ll make him even warmer.”
“DAD!” Chris calls out, heeding Buck’s advice. He picks up his pace a little in Eddie’s direction. 
“CHRISTOPHER!” Eddie calls back once he sees him. He hops out of the ambulance, dropping the warming blanket, and runs across the engine bay floor towards his son. When he reaches him, he scoops him up into the biggest, tightest, most loving hug Buck has ever seen. Buck honestly feels a little choked up, watching it. 
He doesn’t want to intrude on their moment, so he hangs back, holding onto Christopher’s backpack. After a minute of this hug, of Eddie speaking quietly to his son, he finally looks in Buck’s direction. He sets Christopher down, strides over to where Buck is, and hugs him too. Just quick, with a clap on the back, but it’s still a hug. It catches Buck off-guard a little.
“Thank you,” Eddie says emphatically. “Thank you so much for taking care of him.”
“No problem, really,” Buck says when Eddie pulls away. “Chris kept me in line. Made sure I knew the right answers to American history. Really he did me a favor.”
Eddie’s smile in response is practically glowing. “I owe you one, man.”
“Hey, don’t mention it. Just glad you’re okay.” Buck says. “Is Carla good? I couldn’t reach her either.”
Eddie nods. “Her dad isn’t well. She was visiting him today.”
“Oh,” Buck replies. “That’s… That’s too bad.”
Eddie takes a deep breath. “Listen, man, can I buy you a beer sometime? As a thank you?”
Buck… Well, for some reason, even though it’s totally not necessary, Buck really likes the sound of that.
“Yeah,” Buck nods. “Yeah, that’d be great. My number should be in your phone from when I tried to call you.”
“Perfect,” Eddie smiles. 
x.
It’s way too much fun. 
Buck meets Eddie at a sports bar. They grab beers. Watch a game. It’s probably the most fun Buck’s had in a while. Without work or a kid in between them, they connect as just people. And it turns out, they connect pretty well. They have a similar sense or humor and like a lot of the same things. Eddie listens when Buck goes on accidental tangents about subjects he finds interesting. Buck is genuinely delighted with stories about Christopher. They just sort of… Mesh?
By the end of the night, they’re making plans to hang out again, and Buck’s stomach can’t quite shake a fluttery, swooping feeling. Something that he’s only really felt before… Well, on dates. 
Which is strange for Buck because, well… Eddie is a man? And Buck didn’t know that another man could make him feel that way. 
Which probably means… Something. 
xi.
Buck and Eddie manage to hang out two more times by themselves, and once with Christopher, even, before the world shuts down. And Buck goes from the exciting thrill of a new friend/maybe crush to working alone in an empty library, filling online orders, and putting them in sterile pickup areas, with nothing at all to look forward to. 
It’s awful. It’s depressing. Buck genuinely struggles to get out of bed in the morning for the entire month of April. 
His sister is pregnant, and she can’t even stay with Chimney because of the risk. She’s alone. Buck’s alone. Everyone is boxed off from each other. 
They keep in contact. Eddie and Buck. Text. Social media. Buck does a few virtual homework help sessions with Chris out of working hours. But it’s weird. It’s like they almost had a friendship or something, and it just kind of gets stalled. 
All the nothingness means Buck has time. On and off work. He has nothing but time. It reminds him of the early years of his undergrad, where the coursework wasn’t challenging or interesting enough to keep his mind busy. He’d had to find ways to fill the time. Partying. Drinking. Sex. Working out. Those had been his options, then. Apart from working out, he doesn’t want to replicate the rest in a global pandemic. Which means Buck is left with way more hours to fill than even in undergrad. 
And he’s a librarian. So… One of the things he does to avoid going crazy? He reads. He researches. He learns. And one of the things he starts going all in on learning about? Human sexuality and attraction. Because the distance from Eddie doesn’t make Buck stop thinking about him. Doesn’t quell the curiosity, the thinking. The excitement each time a notification from Eddie lights up his phone. So Buck researches, and he tries to figure himself out. 
So, in the middle of a pandemic, where everyone is quarantined, and Buck is completely alone, he discovers he’s bisexual. Stellar timing. Really great work. Had he uncovered this little tidbit of identity earlier in his life? Maybe he’d be quarantining with a boyfriend or a husband or something cool like that. Since he’s historically fumbled all the women in his life. Who is he kidding? He’ll probably be the same with dudes. But until proven otherwise, he imagines he’ll be very smooth.
So. Bisexual. Alone in his studio apartment. Living through an unprecedented global emergency. Kind of thirsting over a man he won’t be able to see for months, and who he doesn’t even know is queer, so probably has no chance with. 
Buck is frustrated. 
He learns to cook. He buys a variety of plants. Tries and fails to learn to draw. Impulse adopts a cat; a Burmese he renames Begonia. Her previous name was Princess and to be honest she is way too relaxed for that designation. 
Nothing makes the sense of restlessness building in his chest go away. 
xii.
It’s late summer by the time he and Eddie can hang out again. At a distance. Outside, on a hike. Masks on if they get any closer. Eddie has a higher chance of infection on his job, and Buck wants to be safe. 
They fall back into their easy pattern of conversation and humor. It’s like whatever paused between them at the beginning of the year picks right back up without any issue. And Buck is relieved. Relieved and excited. Like they’re pointed towards a direction he hasn’t seen before, but is desperate to discover.
Buck tells Eddie all about the ever-changing library policies regarding the virus. Eddie tells Buck about childcare struggles. 
“With Carla caring for her dad full time, and my Abuela back in Texas, it’s been insane,” he admits. 
“And no aftercare programs at the library,” Buck says. 
“Or anywhere,” Eddie says. 
“Man, that’s rough. I’m sorry.”
“It’s… Well, single parenting is never easy. But global catastrophe certainly adds to it.”
“Hey, if-if I can help…” Buck offers, a little aimlessly. 
Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Is the library open to visitors yet?”
“Well, no,” Buck admits. “Soon, hopefully? But I mean, I can ask the head librarian - Janine - if he can, uh, sneak in. Masked up, of course.” “I mean, if he could. That’d be really helpful. He could do class from there, right?” Eddie asks. ”Only if it wouldn’t put you out!”
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evermoredeluxe · 10 months
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God imagine how Ana Clara’s family must be feeling right now :(
it’s like 2am in brazil, i can’t imagine a situation where her family (and friends) aren’t scrambling. it’s just so extremely sad.
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sysig · 11 months
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Portal 2 replay review: Hrmnnngggngmngm 💕💖💝💞✨❤️💗
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aromanticasterisms · 6 months
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yknow i was a little miffed when yoimiya got her second story quest but i can't even be mad that cyno's getting his. he's been around since manga days he deserves it
#personal stuff#delete later#like good for him. also who is that. i know a playable design when i see one#like we are FINALLY GETTING PERMANENT HERMANUBIS LORE.#ARLECCHINOOO. OH MY GODDD#I CANNOT BELIEVE SCYTHE ARLE REAL. i avoided looking at leaks for so long and her animations are SO nice wtf#her WING???#OH MY GODDD??? SHE'S THE NEW WEEKLY BOSS???#SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING COOL. HER WINGS#HEY WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. FURINA OR NEUVILLETTE STORY QUEST 2 WHERE?#are they pushing stuff back. no dain quest last patch no archon or equivalent quest this patch :(#yes i am soo excited to see her lines about the other harbingers#still biting the bars of my cage why are there so many black white and red hyv characters coming out at the same time#STILL CANNOT BELIEVE WE'RE GOING TO REMURIA. RIPS AND TEARS#OH SHIT IT'S RELATED TO PETRICHOR. WE'RE GETTING THAT TOO.#wtf kitty event was foreshadowing. new talking cat#so we're not getting dornman port... :(#oh hey cool dvorak is coming back#new horn instrument!! it looks neat#ah. windtrace :/ i'm not one for co-op events i was hoping fr something else. good for you guys though#NATLAN CRUMBS WOOO#okay. overall looks like a neat update i'm looking forward to petrichor a lot. PLEASE say gourmet supremos. PLEASE.#i've been waiting so long to see them please let them come back...#also arlecchino looks cool as hell.#a little disappointed that no furina or neuvillette or dain quest but what can you do.#maybe we'll get a dain one next patch since we're getting remuria now? probably not but i can dream#checked the voice actors list under the trailer. oh hey we're seeing childe again
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maraeffect · 11 months
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y'all my weekend was so rough that i have a tattoo appointment tomorrow and i'm not even excited 💀💀 AND my therapist was like "can we do a half session for Thursday? i don't feel right just waiting until next week to check on you" WAHHHHH 💀💀💀
(HOWEVER. it's my headfirst for halos tattoo FUCKING FINALLYYYYYYY so i'll be excited once i'm getting it)
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girlscience · 1 year
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Top 10 worst feelings in the world: I cleaned and cooked for you. I was excited for you to get here and eat with you and talk with you. I thought you would get here soon and you are not here. You are not here and you have a meeting at 7:30 so you will get here and immediately go to that and I will eat alone.
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lieutenant-amuel · 1 year
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Why have you stopped writing was born to lead?
I… didn’t want to answer this question. But it seems like you misunderstood me a little, because I’ve never said I’m stopping to write WBTL. It’s on hiatus now, it’s not abandoned.
Anyway, I admit I had a lot more dramatic~ answer to this question in my head when I first saw it, but after all I realized the main reason I’m stepping away from publishing the chapters is… life.
There are too many external factors that prevent me from being as productive as I’d like to be and given the fact I’m a lot more emotional than I think I am (damn it), I know I’ll be way too harsh on myself for not updating often (I update almost every month now, which, I think, is often enough, given how long my chapters are).
But I write this fic for joy only. And I want it to bring me joy only. The way to achieve it is to write it for myself. But I want to assure you that the fic is not abandoned. I just stop publishing the chapters until the entire story is finished.
I have no idea when I finish it. But for now, I just hope I’ll manage to do it.
I’m actually on hiatus now (and no, this is not some summer vacation hiatus, as I said I won’t publish the chapters until I finish the story, so it’s going to be quite a long lasting hiatus) and I won’t write anything for at least a month (unless I’ll get hit by some extremely cool idea that I’d want to write down right away), because I have some big plans in terms of outline and editing.
But that’s actually a good thing, because it means WBTL is not escaping from my head. If you want to send me my characters for the OCs ask games, or give me suggestions for the story, or simply talk about it with me, please do. I won’t mind. On the contrary, I’ll be extremely happy to know that any of you are still interested.
I hope it clears things up and you understand why I’ve made this decision.
#Ask me anything#Was Born To Lead#Alright I admit there are several reasons why I’m doing this but the one I elaborated in the answer is the main one#But you know if WBTL was a TV show those 21 chapters probably would be season 1 so it makes sense there’s a hiatus afterwards#(especially since it has quite a logical ending: the main characters’ (Gabe and Valerio) arcs are finished#yet there’s still something to look forward)#and the rest of the chapters make up season 2 because I *think* I’ve already reached the mid of the fic#Or not#Either way I know how to finish all the storylines I started so that’s already a good thing#Valerio cannot run from his past forever so he’ll have to face it and it leads to the new dynamic between him and Gabe#Ángel has a family drama and finds a new hobby that’s actually interesting to him unlike fencing#Frida keeps solving the hideout mystery and it gets to the point when she HAS to return to Avalor#Matías keeps facepalming after every stupid thing Valerio does and meets Gabe#Emilio works on his inner issues because he has way too many and sort of finds his peace#Roberto and Blanca have to meet their old friends and protect Gabe from the possible danger (and there also will be their backstory)#The man in the cloak a mysterious figure call them whatever you want keeps being the main source of intrigue in the fic#And finally Gabe#Oh my goodness I have so much prepared for him#which is obvious he’s the main character after all#The closer I am to the end of the fic the closer I am to expose my EoA related Gabe headcanons and I’m excited#For now everything I have for Gabe is made up exclusively for the fic because I need to write about something before I get to the main poin#I don’t know why I’m writing all of this but at least you can be sure lack of ideas for the fic isn’t the reason for my hiatus#All I need is a peaceful environment so I can bring all those ideas to life#Oh also now when I have free time I’m thinking of rewatching the entire show (EoA of course) to refresh my memory#specifically in terms of lore because as for Gabe I already know him like the back of my hand#It’s all for writing reasons yes
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xfindingtrouble · 2 years
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finish up the bottle , then we’ll go. ( for vilkas ! )
" You don't have to tell me twice, " He's already standing up, the aforementioned bottle in hand. The bottle is emptied in a few swift gulps, as he had been nursing it for a while now. Vilkas knew they were going to be leaving the city soon & he could not deny his impending restlessness.
He hardly liked staying in Whiterun, let alone any of Skyrim's other cities. there was always too much going on, too much traffic, too many people. It was a given that their line of work would lead them to discomfort, he could take it... but he didn't have to like it. Vilkas would grit his teeth & push through, but he was eager for them to get back on the road, away from the stench of this place.
He was eager to get back to the wild, away from the expectations & complications of society. It would do wonders for his sour attitude. Vilkas had done a poor job in hiding his misgivings, but there was little reason to hide them from the other. He stretches his shoulders, leaning back to try & wring the stiffness from his spine.A few coins are placed on the table as he tucks his chair back under the table. He'd already paid for his food & drink, but the innkeeper had been accommodating & had managed to put up with Vilkas' impending mood. it wasn't like he was going to miss a few extra coins.
" The sooner we're out of here, the better. " the first smile he's been able to muster in days graces his features. It's a subtle expression of excitement, the corner of his mouth lifting upwards. He's already looking to the door, " We'd best get on our way then. "
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bonyato · 1 year
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ooohh shoot , i just realized another vry important scene 2 me is gonna get animated next week!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#unprecedented emotions in this body o mine. like. this may b surprising given the amount of bitching i do on this website#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand#and again this is prob my fault but ive come to the conclusion that fuck these custom chambers. fuck the amount of work that went into them#fuck all of this. im not fucking using them. i will sit here with this one fucking bryophite chamber if it takes me all goddam day bc at#least i fucking trust the values. that means ill have to split up measurements by 2 days but fuck u im right abt this#the solution is: u cant fucking do 98 samples at once. that it. im sorry. fuck u#and i would probably have come to this conclusion earlier if i had thr time to test but doing it all rught now with no fucking room for#grace makes it very fucking clear. so idk. im not fucking using the chambers. and im not looking forward to explaining this to my boss#bc shes so excited abt this project that i have been dreading since its conception. i started with the 3 chambers and it was somehow#even more awful than i would have imagined. fuck that. 2 or 3 fucking weeks of this#and im not even getting paid for all the extra work i do bc i don't get overtime. im not even technically allowed to work weekends or over#40hrs a week. im just doinf this bc im already so miserable why thr fuck not.#hhhhh im being such a brat abt this for real. ugh but i dont wanna meet with my boss#bc this feels like the time where i have to explain that like. listen. u know that thing im really good at and have spent fucking hour and#hours and hours and hours of time doing? well its catastrophically destructive to my brain and thats whats landed us here#where im so fucking fed up that i wanna quit. clean cut and never work with this stuff ever again#and if i have to use the 3 chambers i might die. i might just evaporate away into a million pieces bc i dont wanna deal with this#but i dont wanna explain that bc then shell feel bad and this isnt her fault. i have an issue thats out of my control and im letting it#devour me whole so like 🤷‍♂️ its my fault bleh#whatever. itll be fine. ive got a coherent argument as to why this is too much. and i kno im fucking right so there it is#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening#and there it is. it either u can fix it or u cant. thats it. u deal with the things in ur control#lol at least im not alone to stew in my anger. im working with 2 other ppl today. so i mean i say that im fucking furious bc im visual fine#lol bc im a patient and level headed person irl im just really whiney online bc i have no outlet. so itll b fine. decision made now we just#deal with it. ugh but how tf am i gonna distract myself from how miserable this is all day? thats the real question#brain gets Interrupted ever 5 min bleh agony#unrelated
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4byun · 2 years
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why is it like this. L ol
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shidoukanae · 1 month
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Lineart to lineless art progress thingie (for funsies! and also bc im running out of things atm to put in queue lol). My fashion sense is very basic but i really like the left & right designs for Helene!
It's interesting to see how many details get lost/added in the process between lining things out/turning the lines to full color. Helene's face on the left loses the angle I was going for (OTL) and i fiddled with the anatomy a bit to make it better on the right
Wanted to make this as a glimpse at what a modern AU!version of Helene would look like (and im really hoping to see her on Earth and her reactions to being on Earth! but atm it's hinted only dragons are capable of tracking down people across 'verses so im just saying...hey Paris...regarding Helene and your Dragon Pact powers...).
#TME art#for how much i obsess about Helene I don't draw her often lol#partly bc it's really hard to draw her right in my eyes#on things i really hope happen in the manhwa: it's PARIS who gets to visit Lyla on Earth first and learn her real name because in the LN-#he WAS the first one to find out her name so it'd be kind of a fitting homage to his LN self if he learned her Korean name first#and teleported to her first the way he did in the LN before Fian did#PLUS PLUS PLUS#I've been thinking about it a lot but irl!Lyla and Paris look like they could be siblings#and it'd be REALLY FUNNY if Paris appeared on Earth and was mistaken as a long lost brother or something#plus im ngl i kind of want to see him build a bond with Lyla and big brother her the way he did in the LN#either by protecting her from her shitty family or scaring them off#but also it'd be really funny to see Twilight's reaction to Paris in particular appearing on Earth#(also god i forgot Twilight was a plot point in the manhwa bc she never shows up in the LN lmao)#but at least i get to have hope we might get a IRL arc with Paris or Fian or Helene (or hopefully all 3!!!)#plus i don't think it's Twilight who found Lyla when she last passed out bc the person who saved Lyla didn't look like Twilight#so im wondering if either that was Fian from the future his reincarnation in this world or someone else?#now that im thinking of Twilight im wondering who she is even more now beyond being the author#is she really Sienna reincarnated like speculations assume?#perhaps even the old Lyla herself?#and will Twilight get to meet Helene aka the heroine she royally screwed over in more ways than one?#and what would Twilight think of Paris getting close to Helene considering what she knows about their OG relationship?#gosh im looking forward to the manhwa and how it handles Twilight/the dragons hopping dimensions (hopefully w/ their gals)#also just saying but Helene probably is the only one who has the capacity to reach Lyla atm bc she knew about Sienna's teleportation magic#and hypothetically she can reverse-engineer it to reach Lyla once she learns what the hell is going on#but considering Helene doesn't know Lyla's an imposter much less that she comes from another world would she be willing to do so?#and then there's the archery festival too that's either being skipped or going to see Lyla attend it like in the LN#waaaaaah i love all the changes the manhwa introduces it makes me so excited to see how Yuria will shake things up#especially since this round Lyla IS an imposter separate from the OG!Lyla and not someone who will end up turning into Lyla#i have SO MANY THOUGHTS on this manhwa and its direction esp compared to the LN jfc#im DEFINITELY waiting for the promise of Paris going to Helene to finally ask for her help
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orcelito · 2 months
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There's also the impulse to be like "women ain't shit" but that's a lie I love our women. Not women as a whole's fault that one of them turned out a selfish bastard of a coward.
I just need to find a woman who doesn't treat me like That. Get me a good butch. I need me a good butch.
#speculation nation#id love a good butch who can pick me up and help move my furniture#and who is so sweet and treats me like im someone valuable (& not immediately replaceable ...)#the bar is actually so low. god why do i keep ending up dating assholes?#ex before this ex wasnt an asshole. i was the asshole in that situation.#but that's where the whole. wanting to find someone right for me comes in.#god 'ex' really is such a vague term for me. i got bad ex goth ex uhh other good ex but still sucked#nothingburger exes 1 2 3 4#and the gay awakening ex who i really shouldve given more attention to but unfortunately i was a stupid 16 year old#and broke up with her for my bad ex. alas.#and then theres milquetoast ex and uhmmm. well i actually dont know what im going to label my most recent one.#i dont think it's fully sunk in yet what happened. bc it really was so sudden.#i last saw her on thursday and everything was normal and nice. just like pretty much the whole of the 6 months with her.#and then she started hanging out with the coworker i guess. and the rest is history.#i think she lied about being busy spending time with friends to excuse why she was so distracted on the weekend.#she was probably busy spending time with that girl. who she apparently feels like shes suffocating if shes not in the same room as her#it does suck in a lot of ways. but also with her friends. i was trying rly hard to spend time with them and be liked by them.#one of them's moving into my building this next year. across from my unit. so i wonder how thats gonna go.#my ex mentioned how she'd be spending twice as much time here then just last saturday.#and now. well. like fuck she's coming in here anymore. but i wonder if i'll see her going to visit her friend.#id been kind of excited for it. looking forward to spending time with a neighbor too. but probably not anymore.#i do wonder what her friends will think. i hope she tells them the truth and they chew her out for being such an asshole.#literally breaking up with me over text. who fucking does that??? she didnt have the guts to hear me cry???#i'll make sure she sees the full force of my displeasure when she drops my gifts off tomorrow.#she used to like how rough around the edges i am. well she's gonna see just how rough around the edges i Really am.#i kind of. dont really want to see her. but i also do. i want her to look me in the face and talk to me#to see who it is she's dropping. to see how it has affected me. even if she didnt see my heartbreak as it happened.#i laid into her Hard so she knew just how badly she hurt me. so that she would feel even a fraction of my hurt.#so she would feel Guilty. she apologized over and over. said she knew she'd regret it. but she just Had to do it.#'this will be my life's regret' then why'd you do it? fucking impulsive dumbass. what bullshit.
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sheyshen · 9 months
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i was gonna make my bday cupcakes tonight for the holidays (only like 6 months late lol) but found out we're out of oil so uh. maybe i'll make them before my bday next year
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