#she’s so beautiful okay LISTENNN

[sh4rmas]

thinking about philipa featherington especially with her hair down

[kissme-hs]

Please shut up

So yeah sorry for not writing in so long. I’m done with my high school now!!! So I’m gonna try to update more often. Plus I’m looking forward to moving to Canada this year for studies so that might keep me captivated again.

Anyways here’s some ANGST for ya angst thirty peeps. Hope you enjoy and give me feedback!!

(I don’t know why I unnecessarily added CAMEL TOE but I did. So spare me.)

Plus due to lack of writings recently I lost the flow, but still here i am trying. Feedback is appreciated :)

It’s been 2 weeks since Harry got back from tour. Though he’s been having time off, he was somehow yet busy. Plus not the mention the reason behind his busy work was mainly his LA friends and his PR Camille. You knew it was just a stunt his management wanted to pull due lack of his mentions in magazines and teles regarding being with a girl or making again new girlfriend.

Though it was just some sort of publicity stunt you were dead jealous of it. You hated how he had to wear his girlfriend’s ruby ring in his pinky just to show the world that she existed for him. You hated how he literally had to be dragged by Jeff just to be papped with that blonde who was obviously loving the attention given to her.

Harry on the other hand did not like her at all. He didn’t like how she always stick to him following like a stalker acting like a lost puppy. He didn’t like it when she screamed during his shows when all he wanted was some peace (he did like when the fan shouted at her to shut the fuck up. Cuz why not?). He didn’t like it when he had to be seen with his fake so called girlfriend when he couldn’t hang out it with his real one. He missed his love so much. Due to your work, you weren’t  able to attend any of his shows, but the only ones that were in England that too were two or so.

He missed rubbing his cheek against your Santa’s foam beard one whenever they were taking a bath together, being a kid at heart you loved messing around. Most of your together baths were filled with goofiness and tender cuddles and kisses—eyes fluttering kisses. He missed bumping his nose against yours whenever you scrunched it up because you didn’t like the way your tea tasted? Or the way your hair tickled her nose. He missed tracing the curves of your rosy cheeks with the back of his hand when you just laid in your backyard on the soft grass stargazing but for harry you were the whole universe. He missed your non-stop blabbering.You were a talker, you loved talking and harry was a sucker for that. He could hear you talking for his whole life. There were times when he’d just stare at you, lost in the beauty of your innocence and the way your lips moved with every word rolling off your lips. He loved when he got lost in you whilst you talked only to be brought back to reality when you’d wave her hand in his face.

“Earth to harry? You hearing me pooh?” you’d say giggling and shaking your head kissing his nose and he swore he felt the earth move beneath him. Harry never saw anything more beautiful than you. Maybe it was the way you always wore cute fuzzy shorts with matching hair ties or the way you  walked on your toes like little babies.You were different from all the other girls he has dated. you was the diamond he was searching for. When he first saw you, he fell in love. The moment you stepped on his feet accidentally and mumbled a small oops was enough for him to fall head to toe for you.

Looking at you was like looking at a dream he never thought he had unless he saw it in front of his eyes. And since then he kept his dream to his heart, so close that it was now completely impossible to separate you from him now.

Though harry loved you to death, he’s being completed ignorant towards you. Just tired. That’s what you thought it is. Maybe the tour tired him out very bad that he needed to see his friends to have some stress released off his shoulder? Or maybe he missed the sunshine of LA that made him fly out to the beautiful place every third day? But again you missed him too. you would’ve helped him to release the stress with his favorite cinnamon chocolate milk she makes. You would’ve helped him to get some sun countryside. It hurt you. You never saw harry this cold with her before. He was colder than ice.

And harry didn’t even budge to invite you with him to meet his friend or to LA. When you asked if you could go along him the previous time he was leaving, he simply replied ‘I’m going for a business meeting. There’s no need of you’ and left.

Of course it sting you bad. After all you  did deserved pampering and loving too. All you did was love him and you did had a right to ask for it back.

But soon harry was home. After a week he came back to London. He seemed much fresh and happy. The bags under his eyes were gone, his skin was radiating more, his bubbly self was back. Or that’s what you thought. He was talking to you the way he did before with lots of cuddles and kisses. You thought everything was okay, you were happy seeing—feeling the same old feeling of love until.

“Harry listennn” You whined turning his face to yours. You both were plopped on the couch with his legs resting on coffee table and yours on his lap watching love actually. You were telling him about the new job placement you were offered in LA with a good jump in your salary but harry was busy in typing on his phone.

“I’m listening” he said nonchalantly. His head tucked down as he typed on his phone. The movie faintly playing back in the background long forgotten. You thought that maybe he was actually listening so you shrugged and continued.

“So yeah there’s this job replacement in LA that I’ve been offered. I was called for the interview and hell I didn’t thought I’d clear it but anyways I went. I took Rachel with me because you know how she can handle me properly” you said with a chuckle busy with your own self and didn’t even look at harry once. You were too excited to share this with him.

“And then. OH MY GOD!!!” You said standing up all of a sudden when you remember you had clothes that you left in the laundry, accidentally tossing Harry’s phone with your legs that he had in his hand was now thrown over the table. It’s screen shattered a bit but it was still on—well for a few seconds it was.  

“What th-“ Harry got up agrily grabbing his phone and slapping it against the palm of his hand hoping for it to work again. The mail that he wrote with so much of hope was gone now. It was very important to him. And now it was gone. It was all gone.

“What ha-“ Harry opened his mouth but only to be cut by her. Trembling hands she held in front telling him to calm down.

“I-i am sorry H. I f-forgot the clothes in the machine. And I just remember so I-i just I. I promise it’ll work again. Here let me. I-I know it can be fixed. I’m so sorry. Show me. I can get it f-fixed b-“ she reached forward to take the phone from Harry’s hand but she shrieked away. His face was red and his breath was uneven.

“Baby I’m sorry but please let me help. I know it’ll be f-“

“HOLY JESUS! SHUT THE FUCK UP Y/N! PLEASE JUST SHUT UP! JUST BECAUSE OF YOU ITS GONE! MY FUCKING EMAIL ITS GONE!!!” Harry shouted clearly annoyed with her now. He was controlling himself so bad but now it was enough. His head was pounding and her continuous talks was just adding more to the pain. Her eyes widened, it was the first time Harry talked to her like that. Her eyes watered as she stared at Harry’s face in terror of fear. She didn’t mean to do any of that. Never.

“Harry I-“

“No just shut up please! I’m fucking tired of hearing you talk. I mean how can you talk so much?!!? It’s giving me a headache now! Do you even realise that? No! Because all you know is how to talk and talk! Sometimes try to stay quite for fucks sake! Fucking talker!” And with that he stomped out of the house with heavy feet.

Her stomach dropped.

For a few minutes she was in complete utter shock. She never imagined harry could be like this. He was always a softie with you. Harry always tried to keep his voice soft in front of her. No matter how bad his day was going, he never let it get her.

But today turned out to be ironic day for you. After so many days you finally had some time alone with him and that too your ruined perfectly. You could just blame yourself. Only if you didn’t talked that much then harry would’ve been here, beside you, cuddling to you. But made him go only to be left alone with the coldness of the empty house.

You ran upstairs and hide yourself under the covers. Hot tears were already covering your cheeks. Guilt was eating you alive. Just because of you he lost his email, you turned down a big oppportunity for him. All because of your nonsense blabbering.

Small whimpers left your lips. Soon there was a big damp patch on your pillow from your tears. Your heart was clenching tight against your chest making it hard for you to breath. Your intentions were pure, just for him to know a good news. You cried and cried god knows for how long. Soon your eyes become droopy and you fell in deep slumber of sleep.

Loud thud of the door closing woke you up. Your eyes shot open as soon as the reality hit you back. You got off the bed and down the stairs hoping to make it up to to harry. Padding Down the wooden stairs, you made it to the living room and saw him sprawled over the couch watching tv. You walked to him and crouched down holding his hand.

“Baby I-“ but again he brushed your hand off and went upstairs walking past you. Tears filled your eyes up again when you saw his broken phone lying on the table. It hurt you so much so him like this. So you decided to start up with the dinner, you cooked his favourite meals and set the table up really nice.

You walked up the stairs and opened your bedroom just to find him asleep, his soft snores were filling the silent room. No doubt you were a bit disappointed to see that but you were happy that at least he got some time to rest, especially after what you did.

You walked down the staircase once again and grabbed Harry’s phone along with yours. You messed it up, now you were gonna fix it. You had a friend who worked at a workshop and you knew that he would fix it up. It won’t bring his email back but at least his phone would work. So you drove to the place that held your hopes and wishing two hours he was able fix it up.

It was already past 11 when you reached home and softly closed the door trying not to wake Harry up who was asleep upstairs, but it was too late. As soon as your turn back to walk inside, there he stood with his hand folded around his chest. He didn’t seem happy.

“Where were you?” He asked.

“I uh got your phone fixed.” You said shifting a bit shuffling the stuff in your bag looking for his iPhone 7. Your heart skipped a beat when you couldn’t find it but your hand felt the cold metal of it and you pulled it out. Harry snatched it from your hand as soon as he saw it.

“Why’d you touch it?!? Wasn’t it already eno-“ Harry impractically yelled but stopped when saw it fixed. It’s screen glowed up with a picture of you both laughing like little kids, when he pressed the home button. It brought tears to his eyes. He knew he did wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have said that but his ego was coming in between.

Turning his back to you he ran up the stairs leaving you alone again. It broke you. It broke you so much that you couldn’t even hide it anymore, with soft sobs and blurry eyes you made your way to couch. You did what you could but now what else was there that he wanted? He was overreacting for sure and you sensed it well but his actions were hurting to bad. It was like he kept stabbing you all over again though you apologized.

You closed your heavy eyes and tried to sleep. Though it wasn’t easy for you to get your buzzing mind to sleep. All you could think about was his angry face that showed complete hate and annoyance towards her. She wasn’t able to get that image out of her pretty head. She eventually fell asleep and didn’t wake up until she felt two pairs of lips brushing against the apple of the cheek ever so softly. Her heavy eyelids took time to adjust themselves to the bright light of the sun peeking through the white curtains. Strange lucky it was, London usually never saw sunshine the way it was today.

The very first thing that came into your view were the emerald eyes that you cherished were damp from tears. His eyes were red, nose was pink along with tinted cheeks. You sat up immediately seeing him in such a mess and wiped the fat tears that rolled down his cheek.

“baby” whispered cupping his cheek.

“baby what’s wrong?” you asked him kissing his forehead. Harry just sniffed and hide his face in your neck. You understood what was going inside his head. No matter what, he could never shout at you. But last night he did, he just did and now he was burdened up with the pressure of guilt.

“i-i shouldn’t have petal. I-I am so sorry baby. so sorry” he cried holding onto you for his dear life.His eyes leaving such big tears that within no time your tee was wet with the salty water. You heart was already broken and seeing him like that was just adding to it.

“Harry...baby shhh calm down. Its okay, everything’s okay” You whispered rubbing back of his head. You kept rubbing his back and combing your fingers through his soft hair. You whispered how everything was okay, how you forgot him, you still loved him. Poor baby was afraid that you might leave him after what he did.

After half an hour or so he pulled away and held your hand looking straight into your eyes, his eyes were full of nothing but pain and regret he had. You could see it clearly.

“I love you baby. I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me?” Harry asked with hopeful eyes. Though it wasn’t anything big that could make you leave him, he still feared. He didn’t  wanted to ruin the only best thing ever happened to him. It wasn’t hard for you to fall into his arms and forgiving him. You knew he was sorry but the words that left past his lips left a deep impact on you. You closed your eyes and cuddled to his chest trying to erase the memory of the harsh words.

One week later.

A week has passed. You both still were doing good. Laughing, cuddling, kissing, making love and what not. You both felt complete again. Back to the goofy cute couple. Nothing was missing really except your talks, the talks that he adored, the talks that were music to his eyes. He apologized to you every single night after that but it was just very hard for you to forget it.

You started talking less since then You reserved yourself when it came to talking. It wasn’t like you gave him one word answer or ignored his questions, but stopped yourself from talking more where you shouldn’t. Such as you stayed quite the whole movie whilst Harry talked about his tour or when he cooked your favorite meal for dinner, instead of replying to him adding your views and messing with him interrupting him every-time he tried to speak, not talking much about how dearly you loved it when he cooked and how you wanted to kiss his hands-irrespective to the moments. In the night you didn’t blabber to him about your day or about the new papaya face wash that you got.

The whole week you stayed quite. Just stayed quite.

It wasn’t like you wanted to act like that. You just were acting that way. It was the wordings that he chose to throw at you. Fucking talker is what he said. You knew he didn’t mean to say that but he still did. Once it is out, you cannot take it back. And you could sense it how badly it was affecting Harry. Everytime he tried to get you talking the way you used to, you didn’t. All that he wanted was for you to talk. Talk and fill his ears with you giggles. He wanted to see the sparkle in your eyes that shone when you talked with passion. He was missing it.

You sniffed shopping the onions when you felt Harry sneaking his hand from behind and holding you to his chest. You gasped before hitting his chest with your elbow.

“You scared me” You giggled before moving your attention back to chopping onions. Harry leaned closer to you from behind and hide his face in your neck placing soft kisses on the skin scented vanilla. He licked the spots he kissed before mumbling against your neck, his breath tickling your skin.

“Uh you were telling me about something the day you know uh the day we umm”

“Fought?” you asked walking to the left to take a plate.

“It was nothing really baby. Just something stupid.”

“no ! Nothing is stupid! I miss your talks baby. I really miss it. You know I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say all those words that day petal” Harry said walking over to you and grabbing your hand turning you around.

“it’s okay H. Really. I actually need to stay quite you know. Talking unnecessarily is not good.” you said shrugging and moving your gaze down to the floor.

“no no baby. It’s not like that” Harry said cupping your face so that he could have a straight view of your eyes that were now welling up with tears.

“I-I just was stressed about something that day sweeties. You know how much I love it when you talk. There’s a lightening in your eyes that I can’t deny when you are talking. I miss your sweet voice. Please baby..I am not liking this silent  quite  y/n. I want my old talker-chatter baby back. “ harry said. A tear slipped down his cheek that you managed to catch before it could hit the ground. 

“I missed you too. I miss you all the time harry but you keep going to friends and LA. It’s like you don’t even care for me anymore. That day I got you back after so many days all to myself that’s why I got  a bit hyped about telling you this new job i am offered in LA” you sniffled wrapping your arms around his neck that he responded to wrapping his own around your waist pulling you impossibly close to him.

“I am sorry bug, they kept forcing me to tag along them. The reason why I didn’t take you with me was that none of my friends are that good to be introduced to you. They actually aren’t my friends but are Jeff’s. And that day the email I was talking about was for a movie role offered to me”  He sighed.

“oh my god! Im so sorry Harry!!” you gasped pulling away.

“I ruined it!! I ruined such a big oppo-” You were cut of by two pairs of soft lips pressing against yours. Harry bit your lower-lip before licking your lip and entering your mouth. His tongue massaged yours deliciously only to be pulled back by you for some air.

“You talk so much” Harry chuckled and you hit his arm playfully before he scooped you up in his arms and carried upstairs.

“And that is one of the reason why I’m so in love with you”

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