#she's a sad bad person who you do sympathize with and you wanna hope in another life would be good

[heavenlyascent]

people don't get that Lucrecia is absolutely fucked up person and that's good, that's the point

I hate Dirge of Cerberus as much as anyone and I'd throw the entire thing into the ocean too especially for how it goes about Lucrecia's story but her being a fundamentally broken person whose prone to guilt ridden mental break downs? No absolutely not, it was the one thing they got right about her. Lucrecia is ultimately not a good person as much as she wants her intentions to be good because there's no world where a good person would do what she's done to any child, much less her own child she carried for 9 months

like talk about dead on arrival, Sephiroth didn't have a chance because whether or not Jenova is his mother or Lucrecia is his mother, he was still created with the exact purpose of being used by Shrina. When he couldn't be Cetra, he became a weapon and the fact is that Lucrecia knew this going in

like Lucrecia wasn't stupid, she wasn't naive, she wasn't blinding running into the experiment with Hojo leading her by the hand, she knew what she was doing

but the last shred of conscience kicked in at the last second and realized the enormity of her actions

and who KNOWS, right? maybe in another universe had she gotten out before it was too late, had she been able to raise Sephiroth somewhere out in the big wide world or given him to some one who could have protected him from Shrina, Sephiroth could have had a good life

but I doubt it because for all of Lucrecia's (of which I believe) love for her son it doesn't change that deep down Lucrecia was broken enough or determine enough to do what she did in the first place and things like that don't get fixed because the shame suddenly smacked her up the face

Lucrecia and Sephiroth are ultimately a tragedy--the woman who should never have been a mother and the child who should have never been born

[annymation]

What things annoyed and infuriated you the most in Wish 2023 (or Canon!Wish)?

OOOOH BOY! You just gave me permission to open a whole can of worms! Let's gooo!

Okay so here's a list:

I don't like how weak the reveal of what Magnifico actually does is. Asha finds out that he doesn't grant all the wishes, awesome, that would be a cool reveal, except, it's not a reveal, she freakin KNEW THIS! Asha herself said to a kid "It could be you someday" COULD! Asha, you said COULD, as in, there's the POSSIBILITY he'll grant that kid's wish, not a certainty! Not to mention if he only grants ONE wish per month then OF FREAKING COURSE not all wishes are granted. Okay, case in point, there's no grand reveal that the king is doing something no one knew, Asha apparently just forgot how their kingdom works.

Now hear me out, I am NOT one of those people that says Magnifico is a hero and Asha is a villain, I wanna make this clear, because although I find people who legit think like that kinda funny and I reblog their takes from time to time, I also find it frustrating that Disney managed to make a STRAIGHT, WHITE, MAN, IN A POSITION OF POWER, MORE LIKABLE THAN THEIR SECOND BLACK PROTAGONIST! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? IT'S SO EASY TO MAKE US HATE HIM!!!-ahem- But, although Magnifico is the most likable character in the movie, I do not see him as a hero, no no no, keeping the wishes away from the people of Rosas is bad, pretending that he'd grant Sabino's wish only to say SIKE was bad, saying he'd never grant Asha family's wishes was bad. So, am I saying Magnifico is a villain?... No. That's topic number 2, Magnifico wasn't a villain, he was a jerk. A jerk does not a villain make. I didn't feel threatened by that man for not a single minute, and that's including when he was possessed by the evil book, speaking of which.

That dang book both ruined and saved the movie honestly, because yeah, although it's a stupid way to make Magnifico an actual villain, but in a way that makes us sympathize with him since he's not in his right mind, and the last thing you want is for the audience to feel bad for your villain... Well, there's exceptions of course, but that's a whole other subject. But even though the book caused all this damage, it also gave us King unhinged, campy, straight up evil, fruity, voiced by Chris Pine having the time of his life Magnifico, and I loved every second of it, I ate possessed Magnifico up, I was living for every cringe cliche evil dialogue that came out of him, like hell yeah, that's what I've been waiting for, that's what it's all about WOOOOOO!!! I loved him so much I just copy pasted his personality into the Magnifico in my rewrite, although, my version is actually willing to kill teens, while Canon Mag seemed more hesitant for some reason, my headcanon is that Magnifico was fighting the curse deep down, and that's why his magic actually didn't hurt anyone, so... That's sad, hope he breaks out of the mirror and kills them all Idk

We're on topic 4 and this is not even half of my problems oh my... Anyway, Asha is boring. And I mean like, in a way that feels intentional, how did they do it? It's fascinating how she has nothing going for her, she doesn't stand out, doesn't have any internal conflicts at the start of the movie, something ALL Disney princesses have: Belle doesn't fit in with her village, Mulan struggles to make her family proud, Mirabel struggles to make her family proud x10.000, Moana wants to explore the sea but can't, Ariel wants to explore the land but can't, Jasmine wants to get out of the castle but can't, Cinderella is a victim of domestic abuse, ya'll get the idea, all these girls get their struggles that make them compelling, what's Asha's struggle that has been with her for most of her life?... Uh... Her grandpa, this dude we just met and seems pretty happy... Doesn't have his wish granted yet... Ok, what else? Oh yeah everyone in town seems to love her and dance along with her to show tourists how cool the kingdom is... Uhum... So yeah she has no compelling struggles that hook us with her from the start, and the conflict she DOES get, as I explained before, feels underwhelming.

The setting, oh the setting. Like, don't get me wrong, the architecture is pretty, but nothing about it screams SPAIN to me, where is the cultural food? Where are the bulls? Where's the stuff we associate with the Iberian Peninsula? They did such a good job in Encanto, what the heck happened? Oh and did I mention that most of the animals that appear in the forest are not even native to the Iberian Peninsula, there would be no racoons in a medieval setting there, considering they're an invasive species that was brought there from North America, something that, I assume, wouldn't be possible back then, as I don't think the americas were even discovered yet, but anyway, there they are, racoons hanging upside down from their tails, something they can't even do. Sorry for expecting biology accuracy from my disney movie guys, but you can't just make Encanto, that was freaking amazing with it's inclusion of so many gorgeous latin American animals, and then do whatever Wish is, like bruh where were the Lynxes??? They're an endangered species there, Disney could've raised awareness!!!

The music...

Valentino was absurdly annoying, and it would be SO EASY to make a baby goat cute! Baby. Goats. Are. Cute. SO WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM UNFUNNY GOAT THAT MAKES BUTT JOKES???

Characters were unmemorable, Asha's mom didn't do anything, Sabino, whose supposed to be the backbone of the story, is barely a character, and again, it's not like Disney hasn't made likable elderly people before, Moana's grandma, Mama Coco, but my guy Sabino was just... There.

Aaaand I probably could go on and on but I can't think of anything else, feel free to share your own problems with the movie yall.

[heygerald]

Hiiii!!! As somebody who struggled with self harm in the past I was wondering if you could let us know what Gail would do finding out about Tom self harming vs What parks would do finding out about Tom self harming I totally understand if you don’t wanna answer this ask I know it is a complicated subject but if you did it would be awesome as someone who struggled with it in the past I love your works can’t wait for your new chapter !!!

TRIGGER WARNING: self harm, and general sad feelings.

Firstly, darling, babe, bub, I want to say that I sympathize so much with your past history, and hope that you know that life is so greatly worth living even when it's not entirely fun. I'm sending all sorts of hugs through the computer screen.

With that being said, thank your for your ask, and for bravely sharing your own personal experiences in relation to my story. I in no way claim to think I know what someone needs to get better, and what I've written is purely what I think would cheer Tom up if he was feeling down, but certainly not a cure all for these issues.

If anyone is struggling with this topic, please see a professional!

Now moving onto the ask, I don't want to say that Gail is evil incarnate; she's just a money hungry producer who doesn't really care about other people as much as she cares about fame. I do think, in her own twisted way, that she cares about Tom in the same sort of way that any manager might care about their talents; ie, he makes her money, and he needs to be smiling for the paychecks to come through. I think if Gail saw evidence of Tom doing s/h, she would be all smiles, hugs, and give some sort of impromptu speech about how talented he is. The problem would be that her caring would not go beyond her words, and after she leaves, Tom would once again be left feeling hollow/sad/unworthy.

Parker, on the other hand, would take it so seriously. As we've seen before (even when she was joking) just finding Tom in a bathroom having a bad reaction to drugs provoked her to stick around long enough for him to feel better. There's a lot of ways for people to treat themselves poorly, and she would be attuned to every single one when it comes to him. Whereas Gail would move on past the subject quickly, Parker would not let it go. She would also remind Tom that she's there for him, hugs, kisses, and doing whatever it takes to get his mind in a better place.

Sometimes, that's just holding him on the couch as they rot together and watch some Disney movies. Sometimes that's telling his assistant to cancel his upcoming meetings so he can focus on himself.

In the end, she would just make him feel loved whereas everyone else would be all talk, but no action. And at the end of the day that's what he needs; a reminder that he's not alone, and that even when he's at rock bottom that someone out there loves/adores/wants him.

[mammons-tax-returns]

HDJXKDKFF I KNOW I HAVE REQUESTS BUT I NEEDED THIS PLEASE FORGIVE ME THIS WAS SO TIME CONSUMING AND FOR WHAT>> TO SATISFY MY DYSPHORIA/fA<>>A???

synapsis ; Satan and MC often discuss the plot lines of their favorite books, but this time, it’s a little bittersweet

✖️MALE MC✖️ comfort, kinda sad, fluff?

MC could practically feel the past few sleepless nights tugging at his limbs. He yawned into his hand. “I probably shouldn’t have pulled an all nighter last night, huh?” He chuckled a little to make light of the situation.

Satan sighed helplessly, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. “I told you this would happen. You’d better watch yourself before I force you to get proper hours of sleep.” His emerald eyes never left the pages of his most recent favorite novel series.  “Lucifer isn’t as worried for your grades considering you won’t be here for as long as us.”

“That’s true...  But even still, I wouldn’t want to disappoint Luci.” MC rubbed his eyes a bit before responding.

There was only a scoff in response from the blonde, along with mutters definitely slandering his older brother.

“But never mind that.  Wanna update me on your book?” MC grabbed his own book from the table to his side and took a seat on Satan’s bed.  He has learned from experience that Satan read books far beyond his comprehension level-- far beyond the comprehension level of some of the smartest demons as well.  But the plots are interesting enough that listening to Satan relay the insights to him has become a hobby. 

“Well....  Amanthy ends up saving the prince from the monster right in the nick of time, but get this;  the two of them don’t get married.”  MC finally gets to see Satan’s eyes when he looks up in mild excitement.  They’re blazing so brightly that it nearly burns him as he watches them.  This normally happened when Satan was allowed to rant about a book.

“Amanthy calls off the marriage because he didn’t think that the prince was strong enough to be with him on his journey.  I really recommend you reading this part at the very least.  Now that you know what’s actually happening in it, you can focus on how incredibly this author deepens the understanding of Amanthy and his intents.”

Amanthy...  Would you really end it all just like that?  MC found himself wondering.  It must have been the fact that MC projected him and Satan onto the two ex-love birds in the novel.  Amanthy was clearly a sophisticated book-loving mage similarly to Satan, and the prince was a simple man in a foreign world trying to figure everything out.  Just like MC being thrown into the Devildom.  Together, the two fought and travelled together.

As childish as it is, MC was hopeful that they would end up together in the end, just because of his crush on Satan.  And hearing the news about their wedding almost felt like a personal attack.

He can’t respond immediately.  “Oh.” He breathes, “That’s surprising...  I, uh.  Did not expect that.”  A small laugh.  How was he supposed to answer?

“I feel the same.  It was not hinted at in the slightest...”  Satan held his chin between his thumb and index finger.  “But I understand Amanthy.  I mean, looking at it realistically...  The prince had his sword, and even with the little magic he had, surely he could have fought the beast instead of waiting for it to kill him...  Amanthy is a strong man, and I’m not sure how well he’d hold up being with someone like that.”

“Hmm.  Interesting...  This whole plot was just one turn after another.  You really have an eye for good books...  The beginning of that story was a bit slow.” MC tried to seem as invested as possible.  But it was proving to be much more difficult than it seemed.  Although he knew Satan can’t be held accountable for something like this...  Does he really think that Amanthy was in the right?

There was a knot forming in the very bottom of his stomach.  So then, would he do the same thing in that situation?  Would he really drop me if he had to save me like that?

“The story certainly did pick up speed...  Even I was impressed.  But it truly added to the character development!  Amanthy is a smart man for what he did, and he’s really selling it to me.  I wonder if that shopkeeper from the last chapter will reappear...”  He flipped several pages back as if to see if it was hinted at anywhere.  “She looked like a better fit for our bookworm protagonist...  Or maybe he’s better off on his own?”

MC’s mood just seemed to be going down a never ending decline.  The shopkeeper?  Who was literally everything that he wasn’t?

Satan continued before MC could comment, “The prince was always a bit of a dead weight, I can admit.  There were times that I found myself criticizing him for little things, but never fully disliked him...  Although there was much more to him than his exterior, I suppose.”

Okay, now this was a full blown call out post for MC.  The prince getting called a dead weight for the protagonist?  Suddenly, MC constantly having to be reminded by Satan to sleep seemed a little more daunting.

“So that’s how you look at it...” MC hummed and buried his face in his book, careful with his phrasing and hoping that the intuitive male in front of him couldn’t pick up on his hurt.

“Of course...  How would you see it?” Satan leaned a little closer.

This man will be the end of me, and he won’t even know it.

MC cleared his throat and shifted a little out of discomfort. “I mean...  I guess I sympathize with the prince a little.  He hasn’t really gotten the chance to protect himself...  A-And that’s the first time he’s been left with such a powerful beast, right?  Just a few weeks ago, he was in his castle watching the knights spar, and now he’s here defending himself alone.” Don’t seem suspicious, MC.  You got this.  You can do this at the very least, can’t you?  “Amanthy had a good connection with him.  I can’t believe he’d just overlook that because the prince needs help understandably.  I mean, isn’t that what a lover is for?  To love and support?”

Satan’s lips tugged into a simple smile.  “Ahh, so that’s how it is.  I’m surprised you can pay so much attention right now when you’ve barely slept.  You could barely keep your eyes open earlier.” He playfully ruffled MC’s hair.

His affectionate touch stung, and his words stabbed deep into MC’s core.  He knew no harm was meant, and yet he couldn’t help but feel horrible.  Why couldn’t he just listen to Satan’s nagging?

“But your opinion is just as strong as mine!” MC added quickly, hoping that Satan didn’t think he was disregarding him.  “Maybe calling off the wedding was the right choice in the end...  After all, the prince was kinda shady in the first few chapters right?  Maybe he’ll prove to be the bad guy.”

Satan seemed to think it over for a moment.  “ I suppose...  But the prince is a bit more respectful than that, don’t you think?”

And now he’s defending the prince?  Make up your mind already, MC silently thought.

“Y-Yeah, I guess so...” Am I as respectful as him, someone of literal royalty? MC breathed out slowly.  Even if I am, what difference does that make, Satan?

Some time passed after that, and MC couldn’t get passed a single page in his book.  His mind was a confusing jumble of thoughts.  Some of them hoped that Satan would react differently if proposed the same situation.  And some justified Amanthy’s decision in a sickening submission to his situation.  His ‘situation’ is an inevitable unrequited love for Satan.  And now he’s aware that Satan probably wouldn’t consider someone like him as a spouse even if given the chance.  Great.

“MC?  If you’re tired you should sleep.”

The (H/C) haired male jumped.  He looked up to see Satan way too close for comfort at the moment.  He felt himself flush.  “I’m not!  This story is too interesting for that.”

“You haven’t turned a single page.  And you looked a little scary.” Satan chuckled.  “Is it Lucifer?  Is that rat stressing you for your grades?”

“Well, no...  It’s just,” Phrase this properly, please. “I’m all hung up on that whole marriage situation.  If...  If you had to make that decision, would you call off the marriage too?”

Satan had a look of shock.  “Hmm...  I guess I hadn’t considered that.”  He thought for a second. “I don’t think I would.  I may have chosen Amanthy’s side, but I’m not him.”

Geez, that’s a big relief.

“But what about you?  Would you do the same?”

Okay, now that was unexpected.  MC blinked.  “I definitely wouldn’t have.  You heard my piece earlier.  I wouldn’t leave someone just because they were incapable of things like that.”

...  Was that too much information?

“Really...  Interesting.” Satan leaned back into the cushions on the seat.  “It’s almost spellbinding how similar you are to him, and yet you two have such different ideals.”

“Yeah...” MC answered subconsciously.  “And it really--...  Wait.  Come again?”

How similar I am to Amanthy?  No.  I must have heard wrong.  It just doesn’t make sense.  There’s no way that he would compare me to someone as great as-

“I must have never mentioned it, but I tend to project the people I know onto storybook characters.”  He seemed a little bashful, as he couldn’t quite make eye contact with MC.  “Amanthy is a very selfless mage that happens to have a habit of staying up for days on end to finish his studies.  He...  He reminds me of you.”  A small tinge of pink crawled onto his cheeks. “Sometimes, it also feels like you’re the protagonist of a great story, too.”

MC was flabbergasted.  This conversation is hitting him harder than the actual plot of the book being discussed.  “Th-Then, who do you see as the prince?”  This wasn’t adding up.  He couldn’t imagine who it could be if it wasn’t him.

“Me, of course.”  Satan responded without missing a single beat.  “I hate to admit it, but as the youngest brother, I tend to...  Blow things out of proportion.  And the others say it’s because I haven’t experienced the same things as them.  I don’t quite understand it...  But I guess I really don’t need to.”  He looked lost in his own mind as he explained.

He continued as MC struggled to put everything together. “The prince was told many of the same things I have heard.  But I think the reason I relate to him so largely is because I also feel little out of place, as many of his monologues describe my exact feelings so often.”

“Out of place..?  Why is that?” MC’s words left his mouth before he could consider them.  “Err, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine.”

“No, It’s nice to get things like this off of my chest occasionally.”  He paused briefly. “I guess I’m just not used to someone understanding me quite like you do.  Don’t get me wrong, It’s not bad at all.  It’s just a bit...  Odd to me.  Sometimes I wonder if I deserve it.”

“Satan...  Of course you do.  Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken the time and indulged in the same things as you.” MC felt his heart throb.  Of course Satan would look into the story from a metaphorical stance rather than literal, like he did.  He was the one actually reading the pages, after all.  That’s just the type of person he is.  There’s no real beast in this story in his eyes.  The prince was just Satan stuck in his own thoughts.

“But...  Surely, this doesn’t mean that you thought I would have made the same choice as Amanthy, right?”

Satan hummed.  “You’ve got me unraveled under your fingertips, MC.  But you’d be mistaken...  I did.  But even if something like that ever happened, I don’t think I’d let you go quite as easily as the prince did.”  His smile had hints of mischief in it.  “You’re stuck with me.”

MC’s eyes widened a little.  There was so much information to take in at once.  “Well...  Rest assured, then?”

“Agreed.”  Satan nodded. “I’m just hoping you won’t get fed up with having to constantly calm me down before a wreck a building.”  He laughed, but it seemed sad, in a way.

Ahh...  So that’s just it.  Satan was insecure about something that I don’t mind helping him with a thousand times over.  MC found himself smiling.  Demons were much more similar to humans than he thought.

“That’s a bit cute, Satan.”

“What’re you on about?”

MC reached over and pat the top of his head in the way he knows he enjoys it.  “I wouldn’t let you go so easily, either.  I’m not Amanthy, and you’re not the prince.  You’re gonna have to try a little harder to get rid of me.”

Satan was frozen in the spot.  He suddenly understood what Levi’s shows would describe when they said, “time seemed to slow, and nothing else mattered other than him.”

“I don’t think I’d ever dream of it...”

For the first time ever, he felt as if he was receiving his very own happy ending in his own novel. 

[darthkruge]

Kai Parker Imagine ~ Ignored

Summary: You’re Elena’s sister and are feeling pretty alone and ignored in Mystic Falls. One day, you meet a stranger who happens to understand.

Warnings: language, like one small innuendo, fluff :)

Words: 2024

She promised. She promised today she’d finally spend some time with me. It’s not that you need your sister’s attention everyday. Truly, you’re fine being on your own. You’ve gotten used to it over the years. But she cancelled the last three times to spend time with her boyfriend, Damon, instead. Again, you get it. You know she loves him. You know she’d probably prefer to spend her time with him and not you. But she promised and broke it again, blowing me off last minute.

That’s how you ended up here. Alone, in your house, on a Saturday night, staring at your refrigerator trying to pick out which leftover to reheat. You know what? Fuck it, I’m not just going to sit here alone. 

You pull out your cell phone, dialing Caroline’s number. 

“Hello!” The chipper blonde’s voice answers after the first ring

“Hey, Care! I was wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner at the Grill. Elena’s out with Damon again and I’m bored”. 

“Oh shit, y/n, I’m sorry but Stefan is like two blocks away and I was going to introduce him to The Notebook. Maybe another time? And Bonnie might be free, you should call her”

You sigh, “Yeah, alright. Thanks anyway. Send pics if he ends up crying”

She laughs “Of course, babe. Goodnight”

“Goodnight!” You say, hanging up the phone. 

You lean back against the counter, sighing. You know it’s not that deep, all your friends are in relationships and you aren’t, it’s a given that they’ll be busy on Saturdays. But you had a really fucking stressful week and you just didn’t want to spend another night alone. 

You decide it’s worth a shot, try Bonnie

“Hey! How are you”

You smile, relieved she answered. “I’m okay, kinda bored, though. You wanna meet at the Grill and get food? I haven’t eaten yet and wasn’t sure if you had plans…” 

“Sorry Y/N, I’ve actually been trying to perfect this spell from the grimoire all day and I’m exhausted. I swear, if I wasn’t so drained I would” 

Shit, she was trying to learn that tracking spell today!! I should have remembered! “Oh, of course, Bon! Don’t worry about it. Get some rest and take care of yourself!” 

“Thanks, you too!”

“Goodnight! Make sure to drink water”

Bonnie laughs, “You’ve always been the mom of the group. Goodnight” 

You hang up the phone and put it down, placing your head in your hands. Another night in, it is. You go back to trying to pick out dinner and realize that you might as well go to the Grill and pick up some food, anyway. You still have to eat and, to be honest, talking about the restaurant has given you a serious craving for their fries. You decide to order on your phone to make the trip as quick as possible. 

You get in the car, driving there, and see lots of people talking and eating together. Dejected, you try and keep your emotions in check as you get out of the car. You did not want to lose it at the Mystic Grill. The stress was just getting to you. You had exams this week and were studying non-stop, and after not being able to hang out and your sister ignoring and choosing her boyfriend over you, you were pretty fucking frustrated. Just a little bit more, then you can have the food and just go home.

Walking inside, you see Elena and Damon in the corner booth, smiling and laughing. You smile, happy for them. They really worked well together and after everything your family has gone through, you wanted your sister to be happy. She truly deserved it. You just sometimes wished the universe saved some happiness for you. You’d never been in a relationship, never had someone like you back. Sure, you didn’t need a relationship and you weren’t desperate by any means, but it would be nice on nights like this. 

“Order for Y/N,” You say, walking up the bar

“Yup, it’ll be ready in just a few minutes” the server replies

You smile and nod, pulling out your phone to check if you have any messages. None. Your heart drops a bit. You didn’t expect any, but it just feels like the day is compiling onto itself. Tears start to well up again and you lean your head against the wall, trying to force them back. 

“Hey, you okay?” You hear

You turn to look at the man who spoke to you and holy shit, he’s pretty cute. You wipe the tears from your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” You add a strained laugh at the end, hoping it helps him realize you aren’t completely insane. 

He doesn’t look impressed, rather amused by your poor attempt to hide your emotions. “You sure, gorgeous? Because, not to be rude, but you don’t look it”

“I am, I swear. It’s stupid, just a bad day. Just, everything on top of everything else,” You say, gesturing with your hands

“Yeah. I know what you mean. I’m Kai, by the way”

“Y/N” You say, shaking his hand. 

You’re broken from your thoughts by the server returning with your food. “Here you go, Ms. l/n” 

“Thank you!” You take the bag and smile

“Mr. Parker, yours will be out in just a second”

“Alright, thanks” Kai says, turning back to you

“So,” He starts, “I would ask you how your day has been, but I think I got a pretty good idea”

You laugh. “Yeah, I think this,” You say, gesturing to your face and appearance, “pretty much sums it up. But what about you? You had a better experience in this world today?”

“Well, good days, bad days. It’s all relative. But I guess you could say this one is looking up. I met someone recently. Beautiful, (h/l) (h/c) hair, about this tall” He says, holding his arm to just above your eye level.

“She seems lovely. You should introduce me”

Kai laughs and takes his food that’s now ready.

“So, you wanna get out of here?”

You take a step back, wondering who the hell could be so goddamn forward

“Sorry! Poor wording. I wasn’t talking about that. But I mean… if you’re game…?” 

You look at him, glaring but still clearly having a joking look in your eyes

He laughs and holds his hands up in mock-surrender. “Sorry, again, sweetheart. I just meant there’s a nice little lookout area nearby. I know the sun has already set, but it’s where I like to go to look at the stars.”

You notice that he gets a bit of a faraway look in his eyes that you know all too well. Perhaps he’s the perfect person for you to spend this evening with. 

“Sure, lead the way” You say. I mean, cute guy, possibly safe, why the hell not?

He quickly takes your hand and leads you out of the Grill. You try to catch Elena’s eye on your way out, but she doesn’t notice you. Kai, however, does. You see him look at your fallen expression and frown, following your gaze to your sister, then back to you. You shake it off, though, and smile back at him, continuing to walk to the exit. 

You walk a few blocks, talking about everything and, yet, nothing of immense importance. You missed just spending time with someone. Someone who wasn’t preoccupied or just hanging out with you because their first choice was busy. You missed the banter and the fun and feeling of freedom. You hated being in that house. You always felt so trapped there. Because even though, yeah, you could technically leave, you couldn’t do anything. You were still alone. 

He lets go of your hand to climb up onto this rock, then holds out his hand to help you do the same. Smiling, you open your food and begin to eat, him doing the same. You look into his eyes, smiling even more. Something about this boy just makes you happy. You don’t know why, I mean, you’ve just met him. But there’s just something about him.

He clears his throat, smiling right back at you, “So, do you wanna talk about it?”

“Um, I- I don’t know” 

“It’s okay if you don’t,” Kai says, stealing one of your fries, “But if you do, you can. I’ve been told I’m a good listener”

“Yeah, okay, yeah. That might be nice”

You start retelling the story of your sister and friends, all in relationships. He nods, knowingly. “I just, I’m glad they’re happy. I really am. Please, I need to make sure you know that. I want them to be happy. But I just wish they’d sometimes check in on me. I’m tired. I don’t want to be the only one alone,” Your voice breaks and you pause, a few tears running down your cheeks, “I don’t want to feel like without me doing all the work, I wouldn’t have a relationship with them. I just wish, at least once, they’d ditch their boyfriends and just get dinner with me”

You look at him, realizing he’s frowning and you start to back-track. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I know it’s not a big deal. Like, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that important. I was just having a bad day, I didn’t mean to like unload my trauma and abandonment issues on you, I’m sorry-”

He cuts you off, gently. “Breathe, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m not mad at or upset with you. I just know the feeling all too well. Loneliness sucks, huh?”

You laugh, relieved you didn’t scare him away. “You can say that again”

“I am sorry about your friends. And you sister. I assume that was the one you were staring at back there?”

“Yeah, that’s her”

“Hm. I get it.” He says and you just know he does. There’s something about being abandoned and feeling alone in your own family that people may sympathize with, but they never really get it unless they felt it first-hand. 

You lean in, kissing him. He kisses you back and, shit, it feels good. You haven’t been close to a person in so long that when he puts his hand against your cheek, you involuntarily start crying. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I thought-” He starts, pulling away

“No, no, no, Kai, it’s not you. I just wasn’t used to someone being there with me. It was just a bit overwhelming. But it’s not you at all. It felt incredible” Great, now not only does he know you’re lonely and sad, but also that you’re touch starved. Awesome.

Kai gently pulls you back to him, kissing you again. He wraps his arms around you, deeping the embrace and you do the same. You kiss him, only breaking apart when your head is swimming with the need for air. 

After a while, you both pull back and he rests his forehead against yours. You gently move your head and put it on his shoulder, his arm coming around you. You wrap yours around him as well, looking up at the stars, a goofy smile on your face. 

“Well, I defer to you, gorgeous. But if you ever need a break from the loneliness, I’m here. I know I can’t make it all better or anything. That hole from your family and friends is impossible to make go away forever. But I like to think I can possibly shrink it a bit. Or at least take away a bit of your pain” He says, looking at you deeply.

“Yeah, I think that could work,” You say, leaning in and kissing once more. You then gesture toward the stars and he follows your gaze. You spend the night staring at the galaxy, as if it’s just the two of you, and you know that you finally have someone in your corner. Someone who would pick you first. It’s a terrifying feeling that you’re not used to and, frankly, neither is he. But if he’s willing to try, so am I.

[notquitecanon]

Ohhhh or maybe one where the reader just makes jasper talk for a while just cuz she adores his accent 🥺

Jasper could feel your bad mood from outside your house- he was always so attuned you you. If his abilities were anymore developed he would probably be able to see your mood like a dark storm cloud hovering outside of your bedroom. Alice had a vision in the middle of their hunt of how your day would go, but with the sunny weather and the face they were already in the Canadian wilderness- he could do nothing but hope it wasn’t too bad. After stopping by his house to change clothes, he made a beeline to the tree line that surrounded your yard like a natural property line. He’d seen your silhouette in your window starting at five pm, but couldn’t make a move until the sun had gone down. The last thing his family needed was Chief Swan getting called because your neighbor caught him climbing into your window. The moment the sun dipped below the tree line, he raced up and into your bedroom.

You had been wallowing in self pity: already showered, in pajamas, and lying face down in bed with your computer playing some of your music quietly. The moment he crossed into your room, you felt his presence like a calming wave washing over you. Eyes fluttering shut as some of the tension left your body, you muttered, “Jasper.”

“Evenin’ Darlin.” His voice was like honey-warm, sweeter than sugar, slow, and sticky. Drawing you into his words and keeping you there while he lingered on the edge of your room. Ever the gentleman, waiting for your invitation. Prying your head out of your pillow, you faced him.

While you observed his freshly glowing golden eyes, slightly disheveled blonde hair, statuesque posture, and heavenly face- he did the same, taking in your tense muscles, dark under eye bags, flushed cheeks, and the general feeling of resignation and annoyance in your emotional map. He didn’t fail to notice you’d been crying- you didn’t fail to notice that he noticed. You were the first to break the silence, adjusting yourself to meet his eyes easier, “Good hunt?”

Jasper breathed a quiet laugh, such an abnormal question asked so nonchalantly, but entertained the notion nonetheless, “Most of us went up into Canada, into the mountains. Emmet took on a pretty big grizzly so he’s in a particularly good mood. I got a Moose and a couple deer.”

You didn’t know what truly constituted a “good hunt” but his thirst seemed appeased so you nodded. The head ache that came after a long day hadn’t put you in a particularly chatty mood. Jasper filled the silence, “Alice told me you had a bad day- well, told me you would have a bad day. I’m sorry I couldn’t help, doll.”

Shaking your head, you brought your knees up to your chest before wrapping your arms around them, “Not your fault, Jazz, bad days happen.”

There was a beat of silence as the two of you stared at each other, him trying to dissect every emotion you were feeling and you mentally begging him to just drop it. Finally, you just patted the spot beside you, motioning for him to join you. Talking waant something you wanted to do, but just having him close would be a big step towards feeling better.

As always, the vampire had a hard time saying no to you. So with the mattress dipping beside you, he easily slid beside you- staying perfectly still until you were situated. As usual, you bunched up a blanket where you cheek would rest against his chest- thick enough to cushion against his stone chest but thin enough to be close enough to smell the comforting scent he always had on him. Cologne, cedar, leather, something woodsy, and a sweet scent you could never quite put a finger on. After letting you settle, he looked down to you, “Wanna talk about it, sugar?”

He felt you shake you head before you nestled closer to him, so he just wrapped his arm around you alternating between tracing patterns up you arm and running cold, graceful fingers through your hair. One of your arms flopped across him just to have more phsyical contact, and Jasper frowned out of your sight. Besides truly changing your emotions (which felt invasive), he didn’t know how else to help. So for the moment, he just let you curl into him. Golden eyes raked across the room before landing on a book on your nightstand so without jostling you, he easily snatched it up.

Not bothering to read the synopsis, he began flipping through the first chapter- quickly becoming amused at the scandalous historical fiction set during the Civil War in Mississippi. Now that he thought about it, he remembered Angela passing it off to you during third period. He chuckled at a particularly inaccurate and racy part. His laughter was deep and reverberated through his hard chest which roused you, at your movement, he tried to quiet himself, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. This book is just so terrible.”

His amusement made it hard not to smile as you tried to snatch the book out of his hands, the racy novel had been on lend from Angela and after the second chapter had been collecting dust on your nightstand. He easily kept it out of your reach, amusement growing at your protest (and quiet proud that he’d got you laughing again, he could already feel your mood lightening up). Listening to his laughter made you long to hear him talk in the smooth southern accent, about anything (anything other than that awful book), “Well, if the book isn’t up to par, how about you tell me what it was really like?”

As his chuckling was dying off, he thought about it before tossing the book back on the nightstand. It wasn’t that his past was an off limits topic, there was just a lot of it and he preferred to live in the moment with you. But you were staring up at him with hopeful eyes, and he could feel the remnants of sadness and frustration so he just nodded. “Well, first of all Mississippi didn’t see battle until The Spring of 1862, and union soldiers didn’t make any head way until a year later. So the notion that a this woman met a union soldier celebrating victroy in New Albany is just wrong. Even if it was true, she wouldn’t be so eager to fall into any soldiers tent considering Conderate troops would of torched her father’s plantation for being a sympathizer or vice versa.”

“Hmmm.” You hummed in response to the history lesson, before he continued going back and forth between learned history and personal experience until he hit where he was changed. You’d heard this story, traced the silvery scars on his arms, so once he went quiet you didn’t press any further. “So where were you at the turn of the century?”

“I was still with Maria, we were going back and forth across the border in Texas and New Mexico, I honestly didn’t now it was the new century until 1905, but we were the cause of the Austin Dam failure.” He mused, thinking pack, “I left shortly after the start of the First World War, to search for my friend Peter and because I was tired of fighting Maria’s battles- she starting to lose trust in me and me in her.”

You’d heard him talk about Peter and Charlotte, the only two he ever let escape, “Did you find him?”

“No, not until the late 1930’s, so I mostly just wandered around the South and the West as a nomad. The roaring twenties were fun between Chicago and Mexico City, I’d like to go back to New Mexico someday.” He thought aloud, cold lips ghosting on the crown of your head as his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. The hand laid over him searched for his so you could intertwine you fingers with him. He squeezed for a moment before detaching just to play with you fingers, burning hot compared to his cold touch.

“Where’d you go next?” You asked, letting him gently tug and curl your fingers with his. Jasper laughed bringing your knuckles up to his lips. When he had just fed, it was so much easier to be so close- which is where he preferred to be.

“You’re mighty full of question tonight, ma’am.” He teased, dropping you hand in favor of lightly digging his fingers into your side. The quiet squeal, laughter, and weak attempts at fighting him off was so delightfully human that he couldn’t help but do it every now and then. Jasper gave you a moment to calm down before continuing, “I spent some time in Tennessee and then Kentucky, the Great Depression hit those areas pretty hard, but it was better than being involved in a territory war.”

“Peter and Charlotte ran into me in the Appalachian mountains- that would be the late 30’s- it was easier to hunt without gaining attention up there.” He paused to gauge you reaction, carefully checking for any fear. Finding none, he sighed in relief before continuing, “They told me about Coven’s in the North, how there weren’t many territory disputes and how in some areas they could even go out in day light...”

You let your eyes slip closed, tension melting as you listened to his honeyed words, and his fingers toyed with your hair. Jasper kept going, talking about traveling with Peter and Charlotte through the Midwest and Northern states before breaking off from them too. Then it was the Fifties, going into a diner and meeting Alice. You’d always envied Alice a bit for her closeness to Jasper, even though you knew neither of them felt that way for each other, but you were also incredibly grateful to her- who knows where Jasper would be without her.

“I remember she said that I’d kept her waiting long enough and I thought to myself I’ve never seen this woman in my life, but I sat down with her regardless and she told me about ‘vegetarianism’ and our future family. I could feel her excitement but I thought she was crazy.” He laughed to himself, a beautiful sound. You’d heard this story a few times from him and Alice. “I was about to go on my way, leave Alice in the wind when she told me something I couldn’t ignore.”

You perked up, neither of them had ever mentioned this part of the story. Craning you’re neck up, you saw he was watching you expectantly with a soft smile tugging those perfect lips up- waiting for a reaction, “She told me that she’d seen me with my soulmate and her future family. She couldn’t tell me when, or where, or how, but she’s seen it and I had to trust her. She felt so sincere and I’d been lonely for so long that I left with her that very afternoon.”

You sat up very suddenly, blood rushing to your cheeks ass you turned around to him, “Jasper, you’ve never told me that before! What are you doing with me then?”

Jasper couldn’t help but grin at the flash of indignation and feisty anger, but quickly frowned when it morphed to hurt. His movement was much faster and infinitely more graceful than yours as you took your face in his hands, “You were the girl in the vision, (Y/N), you’re what I’ve been waiting for.”

It was like someone pulled a plug on your negative emotions as they drained out to be replaced by jittery happiness, and he didn’t need his brother’s telepathy to see the wheel’s turning in your head, “Oh.”

Meanwhile, you were trying to figure out the appropriate reaction to being told your someone’s soulmate. You’d never really imagined life without Jasper, you’d long since admitted to yourself that he was the love of your life, “Well, I’m glad you believed her otherwise I could be with Mike Newton right now.”

It was a bad joke, but he laughed nonetheless and pulled you back down with him, now wrapping both arms around you-effectively trapping you to his chest, but you had no reason to be afraid or even attempt to break free. There was a long pause of silence, him sending off soothing vibes, (it was getting pretty late) listening to the sound of your heartbeat as it slowed, and waiting for you to doze off. It did surprise him when you spoke back up.

“Where’d you go next?” It was quiet, sleepy, but a request he wouldn’t deny. He’d pay you back by asking a hundred inane question about your childhood tomorrow.

Pulling your comforter over the two of you, he adjusted you to what would be a more comfortable sleeping position. He continued, “Well, in took a few years but eventually we met Carlisle who welcomed us to the family with open arms. It took a bit to adjust to the new life of going to highschools and colleges, being around humans. Alice would occasionally drop little hints about you, your hair color, eye color, things you would do in her visions, and that was enough to encourage me to stay with it.”

You only hummed in response, turning over a bit as you let him nudge you towards sleep. Jasper was more than surprised when you made it to the mid-seventies without falling asleep, but was satisfied that he could no longer read any anger or frustration on you. Brushing a lock of hair out of your sleeping face, he silently laughed at your unconscious reaction to his cold touch. Yes, he had waited nearly sixty years for you.

“Good night, darlin’. I love you.”

Bad moods and all, he’d wait a hundred years more for moments like these.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hi! here's part 1 of the ask XD: So I have this friend whom I try to love unconditionally but she is not as involved in the friendship, but I wanna try to still be there for her just in case something happens to her in the future plus, but most of my friends say that I should leave her if she is not as invested and I started thinking maybe there is something wrong with me? I consider my loves ones my purpose/goal, meaning and dream, I can't leave her! Since you are very insightful, thoughts? XD

Hey there. <3 <3 I'm so so so sorry you had to wait this long for my response. I've been thinking about you and chewing over the right words. Sometimes it's hard for me to muster up words. I hope these words are slightly okay and aren't coming too late. Also sorry that it's long. XD

I've been in friendships I consider imbalanced; one of us feels a much greater love for them than vice versa. I've been in both directions: as the person feeling the greater love, and as the person receiving that love.

Loving another person is beautiful. I think it's the most beautiful part of the human soul. Wanting them to be happy and being willing to help them through challenges is some of the purest things a human can feel. The fact you are someone filled with love and devotion shows that you have some beautiful things in your heart. <3

Unfortunately, I do believe that imbalanced relationships are not healthy until they get handled. It doesn't have to mean there's something wrong with you. Sometimes it just be. But it might indicate the relationship is not in good, stable equilibrium; it might indicate you will have to adjust your behavior; it might indicate there are psychological things you have to process (depends on your situation); and it might indicate both of you are getting unintentionally hurt by this current imbalance.

Several times I've been in relationships where I loved that person way more than vice versa. In both notable cases, they were uncomfortable with me. I felt like I was straining to be around them because I loved them so much, but I felt in pain too because I didn't get enough good time from them. I wanted my happiness in them, but I couldn't actually get secure happiness from them because they weren't invested in me in a level that'd satisfy my emotional-psychological strainings. And when I wanted to help them and got turned down, I felt extremely frustrated. I wanted!! to!!! help!!!!! them!!!! :(( One time the friendship would have been healthy if we'd both felt the same, but it wasn't meant to be. Another time, while I believed I was acting out of the right amount of devotion, that devotion was good and correct, I actually had insecurities I had to deal with. My devotion was an inability to accept my reality. I was emotionally unstable. I am not saying this is what you have; I'm just saying this is what happened to me one time.

On the other hand, I've had multiple situations where people adored me. Either I felt so-so about them, or they were friends, just not to that extent. And I will admit, it's very unfun being on this side, too. I knew I couldn't give them what they wanted. I didn't want to hurt them, but I couldn't magically create a type of love in me I didn't have for them. I didn't want them to be the people I was confiding in or relying on for my worst struggles; I had other friends who fulfilled those roles and I was sufficient that way. In the imbalanced relationships, I'd enjoy hanging out and going to the coffee shop once in a while, sure! I wanted to be casual or everyday friends with many of 'em! But it could easily accidentally feel like they were hanging over me and not giving me breaks I sometimes needed. Or it felt... I mean... there's times where someone who is romantically in love with you makes you feel awkward, and I absolutely believe there's the platonic equivalent when it's that unrequited level of friendship-love. And because the intensity is unrequited, the level of love the lover feels is never going to be matched, and nothing you do will make that change. The only thing you can do is adjust yourself and your actions and try to get that unrequited straining tampered down over time.

I'm not saying you are obtrusively hanging over the other person or annoying them. I don't know your situation's details and I'm not going to presume them. <3 It very well could be the case that other folk is just indifferent. It could be the case you're simply at a miscommunication about basic balance needs. So I'm agnostically covering all scenarios. But when I hear about situations like these where the love is imbalanced, my go-to response is: the person who's in further has to back off.

Because at this point: it's about boundaries of comfort. You have to prioritize the comfort of the person who feels their space is being (for lack of better words, sorry) "invaded".

Perfectly fair friendships sometimes need to readjust their boundaries so everyone feels comfortable. Backing off doesn't need to be cutting your friend out of your life. I think it depends on the situation. If you're actually friends where both are willing to work with the other, sometimes it can be successfully communicated out. I've had that work in my friendships.

You can learn what your friend's boundaries are, and then you'll have to learn how to stick with them. It might feel unpleasant when your heart is screaming to do and be more, and I sympathize. I know we can't turn our hearts off. Hearts will continue to yearn. But I think you and I can both understand that ultimately, in loving our friends, the most loving act we can do is make sure they feel comfortable with us. If that means your buddy only wants you as a sometimes-go-to-the-mall-with person, then that's the role you do; to go further is to breach into an intimacy they don't want. Over time, by acting carefully, hopefully your screaming heart will not scream so bad, and you and your friend will both feel happier with how your day-to-day interactions go.

In other cases, the imbalance might be irreparable. If the other person is legitimately indifferent or disinterested in you, you are investing a ton of spoons and emotional energy that are taxing you and helping nobody. They're not actually your friend. This type of person doesn't want your devotion, and while that kindness is wonderful, you're not actually going to be able to help them. In such a case, your other companions could be right, and that leaving the person is the best choice you could make. Kindness takes a lot of energy, and we are only hurting ourselves if we are over-investing in someone who literally doesn't care. It's not healthy emotionally, it means you don't learn how to move on and allocate emotions, and you burn yourself out for someone who wouldn't bat an eyeball and help you. Good friendships are ones where people are going to help each other to at least some extent, right? Because you deserve that, too!!!

I've seen plenty of one-sided "friendships" where the endless lover gets manipulated, taken advantage of, and abused to serve the other, uncaring person. I would be really sad if you ended in a situation like that one, because damn, those mess folks up. In such a worst case scenario as that one, "helping" the person, "loving" them, just perpetuates and "justifies" their bad behavior to you (and probably others), and means every action you do doesn't help them... it hurts you, and that's the only result. Again, I'm not saying this is you. I am NOT. But fucking hell, I've seen it happen a lot, and it's dangerous, and it's why love also involves knowing when to say "no" and step aside, right?

There was one time I was deeply in love with someone who was toxic. But even though she was toxic, I couldn't leave her! I wouldn't abandon her!! That's what I thought. [sigh] Leaving her ended up being the best thing I did, and the best thing that happened to her, too. That was a greater, more loving, more humble choice than the anxious (frankly very unhealthy) paranoia I had trying to keep her in my life. And I have majorly psychologically healed and gotten better, stabler relationships with everyone around me since making that choice.

Human love is like a candle. It's a beautiful light shining for the edification of others and everyone's happiness. But what good is it if you burn yourself out in an empty room? All you do is harm yourself, lose your light, and nobody else receives it. And if you're a candle, you probably need other candles to relight you, too; we're reciprocal beings. Considering your loved ones your entire purpose, meaning, and dream ergo could end up to nothing but personal harm if you pursue something like that empty, dark room. It doesn't even have to be a malicious room... just... indifferent to anything you could do. </3

I hold a huge value to devotion and loving friends. None of my answers are intending to say, "curb love!" I do believe in sacrificing for others when they need it, and I do believe in showing kindness to folks who'll be buttheads to me. But I also believe that we need to make sure we are in good relationships where we're being cherished too. Whether your situation is one where the friendship can continue after a good conversation about comfort, or it's one where you're better off investing your heart elsewhere, I believe this might be a hard case of learning restraint.

I'd say it's restraint in how we channel our love.

We can still love unconditionally while knowing there are boundaries we won't cross and energy we won't extend. We can always give people love to the degree to which each relationship merits it. Sometimes someone is out of our boundaries and that's just how it is. All interactions can be made with love in mind. A best friendship and an acquaintanceship both involve love, but each type of relationship has different actions we can and cannot take to make the other comfortable, or make the relationship solid and balanced. This is not limiting love. I believe this is using love right.

Because there's so many instances where friendships aren't bad, aren't toxic, aren't shitty, aren't doomed or something... they're just imbalanced, and balancing is hard! Nobody is doing anything wrong-wrong, and love is good, we just aren't channeling our love right or designating our emotional energies well. There are successful cases where folks I know initially made me uncomfortable but stepped back to my comfort zone. We stayed friends and have had a good time. I've felt better about being with them after having conversations and making adjustments. Sometimes it took a while because hearts HAVE EMOTIONS, but! We refound balance! Our friendships returned to a stable, healthy state. And I've felt better after receiving feedback from friends saying I've exceeded their bounds, and learned (ever-so-painfully) to step back and tell me heart there's places I cannot go.

I wish you the best with finding balance. Take care, have an awesome one. <3 Rock on.

[tundrainafrica]

Hello! What are your favorite movies? Or what movies you would recommend?

Lmao, thanks for the ask Anon.

I’ll have to admit something, I am horrible at watching movies. I cannot count the number of times I have fallen asleep in the movie theater or left the theater halfway through the movie because I got bored and just waited outside the theater eating ice cream 

And I had A LOT of fights with people over movies because I like to talk while watching movies and pausing to discuss scenes with people but yeah, I don’t think a lot of people like that haha. 

Long story short, I just don’t have the patience to sit through a movie unless there is something particularly compelling keeping me in which is usually  #1 a hot character #2 a compelling movie plot #3 depressing shit. 

I know it’s weird. Why do I like depressing shit but I personally think it’s because I find it much easier to get attached or sympathize with a character when a character is placed in circumstances beyond their control. When the characters have control of the situation around them and shit still hits the fan because they make mistakes or do something impulsive, I just get annoyed and I end up not getting attached to the characters so I just leave the movie theater.

When I think of ‘circumstances out of the protagonist’s control,’ I consider societal implications, money, illness and I think this particular train of thought is the reason why I end up watching a lot of depresisng stuff.

So my favorite movies are just all over the place but I’ll drop them here in case anyone wants to watch them. I can’t guarantee they’re good but these are the movies which came to my mind when you asked this.

Crazy Rich Asians. 

I really love playing mahjong and i love exploring the dynamics of a social status impediment in relationships and the development here is just top tier so I personally think this is a good watch

Your Name

This movie is just a masterpiece hands down. It’s one of the few movies I’ve watched so many times I remember every single scene like the back of my hand. 

Never Let Me Go

It’s the movie based on the novel where people breed clones and harvest organs from them and like a guy clone and a girl clone fall in love and it begs the question on whether or not cloning is a moral act. 

Light Between Oceans

A baby gets washed up on shore and a couple finds the baby and adopt her as their own and the mom finds out and it gets really sad and the child doesn’t remember her old mom and stuff and moral questions appear.

Hachiko

I got a shiba inu because this movie made me sad. I don’t think it had much moral implications and questions but yeah, I don’t think it has ever made someone not cry.  

A Walk to Remember

Classic Bad boy meets girl and somebody dies movie. 

One Litre of Tears

The movie is okay but personally if you wanna get attached to characters and cry, then watch the drama. I still watch it on occasion and it’s personally one of my favorites. It’s about this girl who has a disease where she loses control of her bodily functions one by one and she writes a journal about it. Oh and there’s a romance subplot. 

Sky of Love

Classic Bad boy meets girl and somebody dies movie but more stuff happen here tbh. 

My Husband’s penis doesn’t fit

I forgot if this was a movie or a drama but I remember the quality wasn’t so good but I ended up watching it because like, it was like watching a car crash on slow mo. Long story short, two people fall in love but they can’t consummate because the guy’s dick is too big or the girl’s hole is too small, one of those and so they’re just a sexually frustrated couple lmao. 

Sister’s Keeper 

Girl was born to be her sister’s organ donor and she wants to get out of it. More cancer movies except the family drama here was incredibly compelling for me. 

The Big Short

It’s one of the best and most compelling renditions of the 2008 financial crisis in the US and I honestly think it’s a great movie to explore greediness and just how exactly the financial crisis happened in 2008. I love stock trading so this was a great movie for me. 

Pawn Sacrifice

Bobby Fischer’s life and him going crazy with chess. I played competitive chess for a few years and I kinda went a little crazy too so this movie hits close to home

Khalel15

I’m a huge fan of indie movies for some weird reason. I actually frequent the indie movie place more than actual movie theatres. This movie is about a poor teenager who sells himself for money and gets diagnosed with AIDs. 

Pamilyang Ordinaryo 

This story is about a poor family whose kid gets kidnapped and sold to a rich family and the kid has a better life with the rich family and it just plays a lot with the question on whether it is okay for a child to be stolen and given to a family who is more than capable of taking care of them. Just interesting points for debate.

I have a lot of other movies tbh, but these are the first few that come to mind. Hope it answers your question somehow and i hope you don’t think my taste in movies is too weird XD

[formeanphiravich]

'MEAN - PHIRAVICH' : L'OFFICIEL COOL GUY JANUARY 2021

Q: who do you wanna pick? the one who like you or the one whom you like? 

MEAN: the one that i like because for the one i like, i feel i will have a passion, energy and encouragement to go after and talk to this one. wanting to make one's happy, something like that. and, if i can make the one like me too, it's very awesome. Q: how will you handle with the one who like you but you don't like? MEAN: I will keep a good relationship. but, first i will tell that one that i don't like him/her. i won't give her/him hope and don't act like i will love her/him. but i won't push her/him away, or won't lead her/him to change herself/ himself to be the one i like too. Q: if there are 3 girls ask you to be her boyfriend in the same time, what would you do?

MEAN: oh, 3 girls in the same time. i like to flirt with each one so i wanna ask them for talk and flirt each one. maybe i will talk to the one of them that i like to talk to the most first. if she isn’t fit to me, maybe i will give the opportunity to know each other to next one.

Q: if you must choose one, will you choose "lover" or "friends"? 

MEAN: lover. for friends, a friendship that we're always close and can talk to each other all things but for lover, i think friends will understand me like, "you can spend the time with love and meet us when you have some problem or free time." i will give the priority to lover first. 

Q:  you mean your friends be taken for granted? i wanna told them.

MEAN: no, they are not. please don’t say like that, they will sad. to say that they are understand me all. Q: tricks for preparing yourself for love scene 

MEAN: why do you separate the topic for with man and with woman? for all topics, the preparing for acting is prepare the mood, feeling that you feel really like or love her/him or really wanna flirt her/him. and the other topics, normally i wanna talk to couple that what we will do and i will brush my teeth and gargle with water to make the smell is as less as i can. and for love scene with the man, it's like with woman but there's one time that there's thai paste sauce in the meal before love scene shooting and i shot with P'Plan. then i decided to won't eat it because my breath will smells bad but P'Plan ate it. he ate it to tease me so i feel that "i won't let him do it, i will fight." so i tried to find something that was smell, and ate it; fight him. Q: when you are with friend, what kind of person are you? 

MEAN: i like to entertain the other, crack jokes; funny jokes and flat jokes sometimes, almost flat jokes; and tease the other to brighten up the situation. Q: what would you do if you surrounded by people that don't close to you? 

MEAN: oh, i stay still except they start the conversation because i'm not good at starting the conversation first. so, someone think that i'm arrogant, keep a handsome pose or haughty but in the reality, i'm not. Q: the new year resolution that you still can't do it in last year. 

MEAN: when you use a 'resolution', i feel that's old, wordy and feel like William Shakespeare. resolution, ok. in 2019, i thought that 2020, i will balance work and life, can manage my time well and sign the series 1-2 series in one period, have the free time for events work and have a time for resting. but at the final, COVID-19 appeared in 2020. I can did nothing, I stayed at home for a half of year and 7th month, i had so many works like the flies fly around. so so so many works. i worked everyday, worked hard more than 2019. Q: if one day had 25 hours, what would you do with 1 extra hour?

MEAN: sleep. nowadays i didn't get much sleep so i feel that if i have 1 extra hour to sleep, it will be good.

Q: how about Mean Phiravich's dream solo trip? MEAN: solo, right? if i can choose it now, i wanna travel abroad like Switzerland or Iceland. I wanna lay myself and sleep among the green, cold water and waterfall views.

Q: would you sleep again?

MEAN: i wanna rest so i wanna sleep. back in the day, i like active and extreme trip, or i'm getting old? i wanna travel chilled trip.

Q: Von the movie is already passed, would you von(plead) fans something?

 MEAN: I quite don't speak what i think, I keep it in my mind. like, when i'm tired with work and someone ask me that are you tried? are you hungry?, i will answer that i'm well, i'm chill, i'm okay and i can stand it. i always do like that. and, i quite don't tell what i feel even happy or sad so some people think that i'm a cold hearted person. to plead fans sympathize with me, i have the heart.

MEAN: please support lofficiel in jan issue even printed and online magazine. please support it.

[sn0tcl0wn]

sorry about this rant and please know that i don't actively sympathize for every rich person but ppl like heiresses get a bad wrap. think about how many of them are actually just decent people who openly talk about how fucked up their childhoods were and giving a chunk of their inherited wealth to charity. they rarely if ever have any control over what the companies their families started before they were even a thought and most of the time they actively pursue their own business ventures to ensure they never have to rely on their families again after they reach adulthood.

and i know not all of them are like that, many of them are exactly what you'd picture when you hear the word heiress but even then you have people like paris hilton who on the surface looks like a spoiled rich girl but in reality she doesnt even spend that much money on clothes and shit because things get sent to her for free advertising when she goes out and gets hounded by paparazzi and she's just doing what we'd all do and saying "yes i will accept this gift of thirty juicy couture velour tracksuits thank u".

i dont feel anyone should have that much money but several of them have come out saying the exact same thing and try to give as much and as often as possible with a lot of their philanthropy going completely unnoticed because stories about heiresses doing good and nice things only sell when it's a trendy cause or they actively don't want the attention for doing what's right. i think it's honestly really important to remember that people are just people and a lot of those people really are just like the rest of us but have a billion dollar surname and grew up in a different world because they literally had no choice.

i actually wouldnt want to be born into wealth because so many people like that come forward after growing up and talking about how fucked up and isolated their childhoods were and expressing similar sentiments as those of us in the 99%. and honestly do you really think so many would go nuts in their teens and early 20s if their lives were nice and they liked being in their families? they go to events strung out because they dont want to be a part of it and have no way of escaping.

it's a sad life that we often frame as better than ours solely because they didn't struggle like us. but at the end of the day the wealthy hurt everyone, even their own children. i have never met a person born into wealth who wasnt either completely detached and woefully aware with no way of knowing how to be normal or they are normal and they're even more resentful of their families than the former. and living in connecticut i actually know MANY people who grew up obscenely rich and a lot of their fears and struggles closely mirror mine or are the opposite extreme of what i went through being raised in poverty.

the people who make and hoard the money are our enemies and not all rich people fall under that category. most of them are just products of their parent's world who wish they weren't. like i have literally had the kids of millionaires say shit like "i wish my parents actually got me meaningful gifts like that instead of getting me everything in hopes that i'd like at least some of it". i remember that vividly and i think about it a lot when i look back at how little i got materially growing up. like at least my parents spent time with me sometimes and actively tried to give me things i actually wanted and needed, and my parents were toxic as fuck.

if im looking at them like "oof u wanna come to my place for a normal family dinner?" what makes you think their lives are better than mine? that's the lie capitalism wants you to believe in order to keep you unhappy and stressed over money at all times.

[slo-liveblog]

Witch’s Heart: Bonus Stage Final Thoughts

Hello hello! Honestly I can’t believe I finished Bonus Stage after all this time... took me quite a few months, oof. Many thanks to the handful of you that stuck around during all that, and to the few new people who popped in too! Hope you’ve all been taking care of yourselves, and don’t mind the long post.

CHARACTERS

Claire: After finishing the first game, I didn’t know it was possible to love Claire even more. I was absolutely wrong. The way she took charge at the end was incredibly powerful and I’m so fucking proud of her, even if it’s sad as hell. I really really like how the game both criticizes and respects her unconditional empathy, I think there’s definitely room for both conversations and they’re both incredibly fascinating. I do think she suffers from some of the most writing pitfalls out of everyone, though. Like I said while playing, there’s really no reason given why she wouldn’t confide in Leon, or at least acknowledge that he’s likely the person there she can trust most. In addition, I found it really bizarre that Claire just... never tried to talk to Reynaldo or Sirius after learning about their pasts. Like, at all. I understand why the emphasis on Ashe was important, but it was jarring and kind of unsatisfying to see Claire act so uncharacteristically by not even really acknowledging them after their stories were over. It’s more of a story problem than a character problem though, I think, and I understand why it had to be that way especially considering the conclusions will touch on a lot of the missing pieces- I just wish there could’ve been more of a justification for it. The way her personality was explored through her interactions with everyone, and how other characters were depicted based on their reactions to her ideals, was incredible and I would die for her.

Ashe: Oh Ashe. Fuck Ashe. I do appreciate the depth given to his character, he’s definitely far more complex than I expected and kudos on that. I don’t really empathize with him as much as I do the other four mains, but I do think his writing is incredible and his relationships with Leon and Claire continue to be some of the most interesting to see play out, if not THE most interesting. Star shaped carrots man. Fucked up. Super excited to see how his dynamics with everyone continue, and he’s probably the character I’m the most interested to see make decisions going into these conclusions. His arc feels the most... unfinished, he’s never really reached any sort of closure at any point of the story so far and especially not bonus stage so it’ll be cool to see where he ends up.

Reynaldo: MY BOY. I’M SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIM... going into bonus stage my expectations for him were pretty much rock bottom from the moment I realized he didn’t have a single line in the opening scene outside of saying his name. Like, I kinda made my peace with the possibility that the writer just wasn’t that interested in developing him, and would rather spend time on the rest of the mains. But holy SHIT did he pull through in the second half of the game. The subtle but noticeable build to him deciding to side with Claire was so, so well done. I still wish there was a little more solidity to his characterization- I do have to reach way further to understand him than I do any of the other mains- but I think what we DID get for him was wonderful and god, I appreciate him so much. Definitely the character that improved the most for me from the first game to bonus stage. I can’t wait for his conclusion, here’s to hoping we do in fact get it this year. The way his similarities with Claire were set up makes me SO excited to see how their relationship develops when it’s actually the focus, and how he’ll be fleshed out more in general so we can finally have a clearer picture. Because to be honest, as much as I like the development he was given in bonus stage... there’s still a LOT of gaps to fill in with him.

Sirius: continues to be the perfect human being 1000000/10

Leon: Sweet baby boy whose expressions always make me cry. Leon is still a character I’m sort of on the fence on. Like, he’s very well written and easy to sympathize with. But I realized I’m always far more interested in how OTHER characters react to HIM than the other way around, though. He’s not really a character I personally would find interesting in general, he’s a little simple for my tastes, but that doesn’t mean I’m not 100% invested in seeing him end up happy... eventually. Something tells me it might be a while.

Charlotte: I feel like Charlotte definitely got the short end of the stick in bonus stage, moreso than any other character. Her only memorable scenes that I can think of off the top of my head were when she told Leon he could kill everyone but Claire, when she thought about how Ashe probably can’t be saved, and when she reacted to Claire after the completion of Ashe’s backstory. None of those scenes even come close to hitting the same level of intrigue or emotion as the sparse Charlotte scenes had in the first game, even if that last one does have some interesting bits in it. I said at the end of the first game that we’d only really scratched the surface and I was interested to see more from her and, well, my opinion hasn’t changed. I don’t think there was much I would’ve wanted out of her here anyway unlike the boys, so I’m not especially disappointed. Just hoping we get more excellent Charlotte moments somewhere down the line.

Zizel: I would’ve liked Zizel’s deal to be... a bit more built upon, to be honest? I could just have missed things along the way, but her triumphant moment is a little harder to get in to when we know almost nothing about her or the way she thinks beyond stuff reveled about her in the same scene. I could definitely see that her siding with Claire was being foreshadowed, but I think there needed to be juuust a bit more characterization given to her for that particular development to have the impact it seemed to be going for. Still, it was a good moment, and I think it definitely made up for a lot of the sore lack of Zizel in both games. Can’t wait to see what she does from here.

Lime: Goddddd. Okay look, I still love Lime probably more than I reasonably should. She’s wonderful and I love her design and her personality and her backstory and her motivations but... yea she’s a very very bad person. Bonus stage did really make it clear that she’s not just lashing out occasionally, and this isn’t anywhere near harmless teasing. She’s full on the primary villain of the game, in some ways, and has been doing pretty horrific stuff knowing (and intending for) exactly what she’s causing. Which we sort of knew in the first game anyway, but now it’s very explicit. And like, damn dude... I do wanna see what’s gonna happen with her. It’s tough, wanting to see a character get their comeuppance and stop hurting others while simultaneously just wanting good things for them. this really is how y’all ashe stans feel huh

Side Characters: I gotta say, I really loved a lot of the smaller characters introduced in bonus stage and the way their presence added to the development of the mains. Dorothy and Nicholas, the old dude and the thief woman (I didn’t actually realize until just now but nobody in Wilbert’s backstory had a name, huh. It may not have been intentional but considering that he might literally just not remember that far back I actually really like that decision.), and Ashe’s family and friends were really smartly integrated into the story’s themes and I appreciated that a lot. also lucy and coco rights

Overall This one gets a fucking 10/10 from me chief, some small issues certainly but as close to perfect as they get, in terms of the kinds of stories I like.

STORY

I debated breaking this up into chunks, like I did in the first game with the scenarios, but I feel like the writing quality is more or less consistent throughout the game so it would be a little redundant. I definitely need more time to think on bonus stage before I have a really solid opinion, but at the moment I kind of think the story was even better than the first game? My only major issue was the aforementioned use of Claire’s character, where she’d only really react to the boy’s backstories as she finished hearing them, with the exception of Ashe’s. And her not confiding in Leon. But other than that, it was a constant rollercoaster, with pretty much every scene being jam packed with 3000 layers of character development and relationship building with lore sprinkled in. The elements that were amazing in the first game, like the fun dynamics between the characters and the subtle and unobtrusive exposition, are nothing but improved upon. I do wish we got to play more with the idea of the demon girls living alongside the mains, I think that aspect was severely downplayed almost immediately after it was introduced, but I’m crossing my fingers those potential dynamics get some time in the conclusions. Once again, my biggest gripes with the story are just that I feel like there’s so much more to explore and I can’t wait to see how the rest plays out. still giving this bitch a 10/10 on this one it was everything I wanted and more

GAMEPLAY

Combat: This was kind of... not even really utilized in bonus stage, which I didn’t actually realize until just now. There weren’t any real “boss battles” in the way there were in the first game, the closest thing to it would I guess be Dorothy’s showdown. Considering I didn’t even notice, I think that was a perfectly fine decision. The climax worked well without any actual fights. The battle mechanics continued to be functional and everything, just... not much of a thing.

Demon Requests: It could just be because I played a lot of bonus stage at a very different pace than I did the first game but the demon requests didn’t feel as frequent or intrusive this time around. I was always really excited to get to the request portion anyway cause of the photo booth and all the cool new areas, I had a super fun time using the deep sea bubble and I think overall the stuff that was added to the fantasy spaces was really neat. also lucy and coco rights

Minigames: Very hit or miss. It felt like the minigames were either so quick and easy they were hardly memorable or so tedious they made me wanna die. Take that with a grain of salt, though, I’m really bad at video games. There were very few of them anyway so it doesn’t matter much, but I guess it would’ve been nice if the minigames were less... Like that. To be fair, they were all still pretty charming or cool conceptually. Can’t really complain about getting to fucking shoot people as Dorothy even if it was hell to play.

Overall The demon requests were actually really enjoyable this time around, but the minigames and combat were kind of downplayed. Not to big of a deal, though, it’s not as if they were a focal point of the game to begin with. 7/10

ART & SOUND

Character Design: Not much to say that I didn’t already say after the first game, but the special bonus stage outfits are absolute bangers and I wish they got shown more often. And maybe I would’ve liked the guys to have a little more variety to their suits. But that’s nitpicking, Claire and the demon girl’s dresses are absolutely gorgeous.

Sprites and BGs: The overall art quality definitely got shaky in places but I gotta say, they pulled out ALL the stops for the sprites in this one. Ashe just fully has an entirely new set of them, and everybody else gets tons of new expressions too, all of which are super super good at conveying incredibly specific emotions. All I’m saying is, this would be a totally different game for me without the sprites, and I was always ecstatic to see new ones and figure out what was going on in the character’s head based on them.

OST and Sound Effects: Again, pretty much the same deal as the first game. I think there was a bit of a higher frequency for songs that made me immediately want to search for them so I could listen to them later though, thank god for that. So many good tracks.

Overall Continued to impress me, and then some. Only a slight improvement from the first game, in my opinion, but even that is pretty impressive since I didn’t have many issues with the first game to begin with. 8/10

So uh, in other words, I really really loved this game. Cannot WAIT to start best boy’s conclusion!!!

[darkshadow90]

A Rant about people judging others for finding Penny’s death upsetting.

Hey, guys. This post is gonna be a little different than the ones I’ve made in the past. This one is more of a rant. I really need to get something off my chest. It’s bothered me, and it bothers me even more that people are okay with what Arthur did, and then judge people like me who find it upsetting. Even if it has nothing to do with the context of the situation. Before I get into it, I want to clarify that this has nothing to do with the Joker fandom, nor is it directed toward anyone specifically. Y’all are cool, and I think you’ll understand where I’m coming from. This is more about the reactions I’ve read about and seen from random people in general. Also there will be swears in this post, so just a heads up.

Okay, so, obviously there are a lot of unsettling scenes in Joker. One of them that really got me was the scene when Arthur kills Penny. It still bothers me, but I can handle it better than I did the first time I saw it. Just so you all know, I’m a really sensitive person. I don’t like scenes in movies that involve violence against animals, or scenes where defenseless people are hurt or killed. If movies have scenes like that, I skip them. I don’t care about the context involved. That shit fucks me up. Unfortunately, because it was in the theater, I couldn’t skip it. Also, I didn’t think Arthur was gonna kill Penny. I thought he was gonna confront her about everything. But then the movie was like “LOL, no.” So here’s what happened the first time I saw it.

I’m sitting there, processing everything Arthur just found out. I was so heartbroken for him. I wanted to hug him so badly. The scene where he’s in Penny’s hospital room comes up. I’m thinking “This must be where Arthur confronts her about everything he found out. What will she say to him when he asks her about the abuse, and the fact that he was adopted?” Well, none of that happened. Arthur doesn’t say a word to Penny about the abuse he suffered. He never mentions she adopted him, that Thomas Wayne isn’t his father. He’s just angry at her. He says he always hated the last name “Fleck” that his laugh was never a condition, it was the real him. When he gets up and says, “You know what’s funny? You wanna know what really makes me laugh?” I knew some bad shit was about to happen. Then he snatches the pillow out from under her neck. I was upset. As dumb as it sounds, I was internally hoping Arthur wouldn’t do it. And then he proceeds to smother her, I was silently pleading for him to stop. He pins her down under his weight brutally smothering her with a pillow without displaying emotion. Penny is literally defenseless against him. He has no problem killing a defenseless person. The whole scene upset me. It was so hard to watch. I was so upset Arthur did that.

Now, I’m not making excuses for Penny. I know Arthur was abused. Yes, I know Penny wasn’t the best mother ever. But here’s the thing. We don’t know what actually happened. There are two headlines in the news papers. One says “House of Horrors for Mother and Son.” The other says, “Mother Allowed Her Son’s Abuse.” I believe both Arthur and Penny were abused by her boyfriend. Maybe the reason Penny said she never heard him crying and Arthur always seemed like such a happy little boy really was because Penny never saw him sad. Maybe her boyfriend threatened Arthur with worse abuse if he cried in front of Penny. Maybe Penny tried to get help for both of them, but was dismissed because of her mental health issues, which makes me wonder. I get things were different in those times, but how was a mentally ill woman able to adopt a child in the first place? Adoption wasn’t easy for many people back then, and I would think it would be especially difficult for someone with mental health issues to adopt a child. I don’t know if Penny completely allowed the abuse to happen or not. The truth could be somewhere in the middle. Now, about Penny Lying to Arthur about her relationship with Thomas Wayne. I don’t think she was intentionally lying to Arthur. She was delusional. She thinks her relationship with Thomas Wayne was real. She thinks she was telling the truth. I don’t get the impression she was deliberately lying or trying to trick Arthur into believing he’s Thomas Wayne’s son. I think she genuinely believes it’s the truth. And there are some things that could suggest the relationship between her and Thomas Wayne was real. Thomas Wayne isn’t exactly the nicest guy. We know that for sure. We also know he’s a very wealthy man. It’s very possible that he covered up the relationship with Penny, and had her locked up in Arkham. Due to his wealth, he has been a highly prolific figure in Gotham, probably even before he ran for Mayor. He probably always had plans to run for Mayor and he knew if word got out that he was in a relationship and had a son with an employee, it would be a scandal, so he probably used connections he had in Arkham to help him cover it up. After all, who would believe a woman with a history of mental illness? Also, it’s likely Thomas did get Penny’s letters, and he ignored Penny’s requests for help. That could explain why she never heard from him. I looked at the handwriting on the back of the picture of her and a man, probably Thomas together. It said, “Love your smile. T.W.” I’m not entirely sure, but the handwriting on the back of the picture looked different from the handwriting in Penny’s letter to Thomas. I don’t think it was Penny’s handwriting. She could’ve written that, but I don’t think so. I doubt Penny would have different handwriting for just one picture. I also don’t think she would write that to herself. It’s definitely suspicious.

So why did I go on a tangent about Penny, you may ask? Because I want to look at things in a different perspective. There are usually multiple sides to a story. The person I was with told me I shouldn’t be upset about what Arthur did, that Penny is no angel. And yeah, I agree. Penny wasn’t mother of the year. But I don’t know if I believe everything Arthur/Joker is showing us without question. This is the fucking Joker. We will only see what he wants us to see, even if it turns out parts of the story are twisted around. I wasn’t the only one who found the scene upsetting. I saw a comment thread of people talking about how the scene made them cry. Other people left the theater because it was too much for them. And the replies they got pissed me off. Things like “Lol what a bunch of babies. Why are they upset?” “She deserved it. She lied to him and let him be abused. I was happy when he killed her.” People could’ve been trolling. I don’t care. It’s more about the fact that there are people out there who were trying to justify Arthur killing the woman who raised him, and even worse someone who was defenseless against him. It’s not entirely clear what really happened. Also, while I may understand why Arthur killed Penny, and I may have both empathy and sympathy for him, it doesn’t make it right. I’m not talking about people who sympathize with Arthur and can understand his actions. We all feel bad for Arthur, what he’s been through, how he’s been treated. We just want good things for him. I’m talking about the people who are totally fine with him killing Penny, and are dicks to the people who find it upsetting and are like “Why are you upset? He was abused so it’s fine.” Those people exist. It’s scary as fuck. Thankfully, I haven’t seen any of them in the Joker fam.

I’ll go ahead and talk about what bothers me so much about this scene. Regardless of the context, of wether or not Penny allowed Arthur to be abused or not, of wether her relationship with Thomas Wayne was real or not, Arthur ruthlessly smothers a defenseless person to death. Arthur loved Penny up until that point. He looked after her, did everything to make sure she was cared for. But then, after finding out some heartbreaking information about her, and her past, and things about his past, he was able to just cut any of those feelings he had for her entirely? I get that he would be angry, but as I said earlier he never asks her about anything he found out. He never says, “Hey, Penny/Mom. I went by Arkham and found out you adopted me. I’m not really Thomas Wayne’s son. I also found out you had an abusive boyfriend and I was horribly abused by him. How could you let that happen? Why did you lie to me about everything?” I know that’s not the best thing to say when confronting someone about delicate information, but he still could’ve mentioned those things to her. It’s like Arthur assumes Penny knows why he’s upset. But she doesn’t. She just sees that he came to visit her one day and is upset. She has no idea. And as he’s smothering her, she’s probably terrified and confused. Arthur was emotionless the whole time. He killed the woman who raised him like it was no big deal. Doesn’t it seem weird that he wasn’t reacting at all? He wasn’t crying no guilt, nothing. And that, in spite of how interesting I find Arthur, in spite of the sympathy I have for him, and just want him to find love and be happy is one of the things that scares the shit out of me about him the most. It scares me about Joker even more. This touches a bit on my post about what a relationship with them would actually be like, and I want to reiterate the potential danger a girl could find herself in.

No one is safe from Arthur or Joker. I believe he would be capable of loving someone, and wouldn’t intentionally hurt them. The scary thing to consider is, if Arthur thinks the girl he’s with wronged him in any way, her life would be in danger. If he can kill the woman who raised him like it’s no big deal, if he can kill his own mother, he can do the same to her. There might be a slim chance she’d be okay. If she can show that he’s misinterpreted a situation, he’ll see that he overreacted and feel terrible about it. And if she found out about him killing people he would try to console her and try to make her understand why he did it. He would promise he would never hurt her. He might not be able to keep that promise. With Joker, it would be even worse. If he thinks she wronged him, he wouldn’t give her a chance to explain everything. He would be convinced what she did happened and that would be it. If Joker killed someone in front of her, he wouldn’t give a shit about how she felt about it. He would ask her why she’s upset about it and then tell her they deserved it. God help her if Joker thinks she wronged him. Talk about waking up every morning constantly afraid Joker will lose his shit. She would be walking on eggshells every day. So yeah, just wanted to touch on that point real quick.

To wrap things up, I’ve been holding my feelings about Penny’s death and the people who justify what Arthur did back for awhile. Again, this isn’t directed to anyone specifically. Just random people who got a kick out of it and made excuses for why it was okay, and then are assholes to people who found it upsetting. I’ve seen a GIF online of a guy that has a shocked expression on his face, then as it zooms out he’s clapping. There are captions on it that say, “My reaction when Arthur kills *insert people here*” There was one for each person he killed, including Penny. It was probably just a joke and that’s fine. But I’m also sure there are people who got a kick out of watching that scene. And for those people, I sincerely hope they seek professional help. Just a quick side note: I still love the movie. Penny’s death scene doesn’t make me love it any less. I’m actually very glad I was able get through rest of the movie the first time I saw it lol What can I say maybe I am a weak person. Okay, rant over. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[queenxxxsupreme]

I wanna hear more abt ur inspiration for darceria

Omg I love love love this question so much!! Also I apologize for how long this is. I just really loved this💕

So with Darceria I had been messing around with characters in my head the second I decided I wanted to write a fic about my baby Geralt (which happened to be when I was watching Betrayer Moon). At first, she wasn't an oracle because I hadn't even thought of that, of making that group of essentially magical beings. I'll explain that a little later. She was originally really insignificant. She wasn't a princess of a fallen kingdom, she wasn't blind, she could see the future. She was bland and I didn't like that. I wanted more. I wanted to make her more interesting and give her shape and definition.

So from there, I made her blind. I have shitty eye sight myself and it's progressively getting worse so I was sort of playing off of that. I've messed with blind characters before and when I say that I mean that I have written out different characters with different personalities, different traits, and different love interests that all were blind. None of those characters were lucky enough to make it further than rough drafts and charts and essentially they've been left in two binders that I keep with all my ideas for characters and plots and fics because seriously I think of new ideas every day and if I acted on impulse more than I already did, I'd have an insanely high amount of fan fics going at once.

(Fun fact, Wattpad is where I started and at one point on that platform I had close to fifteen stories going at once. That number has since been cut to ten after I finished a few stories. Yes I have an issue and yes I acknowledge it 😂🙈🤦‍♀️)

So back to Darceria. I decided to make her blind because I knew it would be difficult to write for her and I love the challenge. I also knew her being in the time period and the society she is in would introduce quite a few conflicts just because of her being blind and conflicts/problems are what drive stories in my opinion.

The oracle half of her character came from a relatively new idea I had in the last year for a Sam Winchester x OC fic. The character was blind and could see the future but how she saw the future was more prophetic and more physical. She'd have nose bleeds and she'd cough up blood and wake up covered in blood in her sleep. That physical part ended up turning into a character for a Pietro Maximoff x OC fic I have going on Wattpad right now. That character just isn't blind.

But when I thought of giving Darceria some sort of supernatural-y power, seeing the future came to mind. I thought it would really really awesome to take her sight but give her the ability to see the future. Sort of poetic/sort of psychotic on my half 😂

Oracle means a few different things but the meaning I took it as was a priest or priestess acting as a medium through whom advise or advise was sought from the gods. I really liked this so I started messing around with what an oracle would look like in the world of the Witcher. I thought about how an oracle would be useful and the first thing that came to my mind was a mage. Mages are advisors to kings and queens. They are heavily knowledged in science/magic and politics. Rulers depend on them for a lot and seek their advise. We saw in season 1 how important mages were to rulers. I highly doubt that without Fringilla's help Nilfgaard wouldn't have gotten as far as they did or it would have taken them much much longer to do so.

I sort of created oracles as the sister to the witch. They naturally have visions, naturally see things that have yet to happen. They have instincual feelings that they can trust. Like when it comes to chosing maybe going down this road or that road, they can sense which would be the wiser choice. It's a part of who they are genetically. But they also have strong magic genes too. They can cast spells to help see the future and that sort of thing. The oracles are just focused more on seeing the future and preserving the kingdom for the long run. (I have so much I want to say about this last sentence because of Darceria and her role in the fall of Romavek but EEK I CAN'T SPOIL)

I wanted to make oracles rare, to make them less known than witches and mages because having just anyone be an oracle would suck the fun out of it in my opinion. So I made it so that oracles are born every half century. They are also extremely rare in the story just for the simple fact that Romavek is the only known place to ever inhabit oracles. Romavek was very secretive and very solitary, even more so than Cintra. Romaveks (as we will see in future updates) very rarely left their country, their kingdom. They had no reason to. They didn't participate in wars unless absolutely necessary. I won't go much further into detail about that because I don't want to accidentally spoil anything.

I also wanted Darceria to be important, to have a destiny of her own that didn't involve Geralt entirely. So that's how I decided she'd be an oracle, a super important piece to Romavek culture and hierarchy.

When I was messing with her characterization, I played around before she was an oracle about the possibility of her being royalty. We know Geralt has sort of a bad habit of finding princesses and rescuing them/killing them (RIP Renfri my baby). So I thought hey what if she's a princess. Well then I saw quite a few different little stories where the OC or reader was a princess to a currently ruling country like Cintra or Kovir or some made up country. Whatever. So I was like well damn I don't want my story to be just another Geralt x princess!OC stories.

So she became a blind princess born with the gifts of an oracle.

As for her personality, I really like writing soft characters who know when to be tough. I am also a sucker for just writing asshole characters. Luckily, Darceria was not an asshole character of mine. She's soft and and she's quiet. She's observant and careful and nurturing. She doesn't like being babied or treated like she's nothing more than her disability. She's very independent but at the same time, she relies heavily on Zephyrina at times. Darceria is also cunning. She uses her disability to her advantage when needed. Like in the proglue, we see her faking being completely blind when she runs into Thominson and spills his drink on him. She fakes being more blind than she actually is to anger him, to get him out of the room. Also she has a very upsetting childhood. Though she was a princess in a thriving kingdom, her childhood is sad and depressing and tragic in a sense. Again we will see more in the future 🙈 I don't want to spoil anything!!

She's observant even though she is blind and she is observant through her other senses. Her "sight" as she explained to Ciri in chapter 1(I think) is very similar to how the creators and writers of Daredevil wrote how he sees in season 1 of Daredevil on Netflix. He sees fire. Darceria sees shapes of objects through sound and she feels them when she touches. Her senses are highly advanced, very much like Matt Murdock/Daredevil.

And as for her physical appearance, the white eyes was something that I thought was really cool. I was watching Supernatural when I saw Abbadon's eyes flicker to white. I thought it would be super cool for Geralt to come across a being with eyes that are different than everyone else's. He could sympathize with her, with how everyone stares at her when they see that her eyes are empty and white.

I absolutely love dark red curly hair (@ Natasha Romanoff) I hadn't seen very many redheads in the first season with the exception of Visenna (Geralt's mom) and Coral, the ginger mage who clenched her fist and kills an entire squadron of Nilfgaardian soldiers at the Battle of Sodden. So when I think of Darceria, I usually picture Scarlett Johannson as Natasha Romanoff in Iron Man 3. (fun Fact: Zephyrina's face in my head looks like Adelaide Kane)

Dareceria's name came to me in a really funny way. I was researching different midieval names and when I didn't like any of those names. Then I came across Daria. It's Polish and means kingly. I didn't like how close it was to Dara so I started adding different things to the end of the name. There was Darialene but that was what too much of a tongue twister and didn't flow off the tongue as nicely as I wanted it to. Dariara came across and in my head I pronounced it Dar-ee-air-ee-uh. So it's not that hard to pronounce but again when you say it out loud it doesn't flow nicely. Then I changed the name completely to something else entirely. Then I went back to Daria and started messing with it more. I messed with it for probably three days before finding Darceria. I personally think it fits in well with the names in the show.

I'm so glad you asked this @wayward-dream !!! I really really loved answering this💕💕sorry it ended up being so long though! I hope I answered you properly and I hope this makes sense!! Ask more questions if you need to please!!! I love answering this

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Episodes 01-15

Press START button.

Ex-Aid is one of those seasons that when you look at it sounds like something that shouldn't work. I mean, putting doctors and video-games together? Is this what, a Dr. Mario live-action, an adaptation of Surgeon Simulator, or an actual Kamen Rider season?

This odd combination of factors always made very skeptical about this season, there's also the huge anime eyes in the helmet that never sat well with me too, but this concept combo always seemed pretty wild to work. But then I watched Gaim, which also had an odd combination of themes, and I saw that those odd concepts mixed together can be doable and be something fun so I started to look forward to the season. But even with the excitement, a small fear started to linger because as I started seeing more and more of Kamen Rider and seeing more of the community I always saw Ex-Aid popping up as one season that everyone thinks it's top-notch and well... the last time I saw a highly acclaimed season in the fandom I hated it so the chances of that happening here again were there.

And you know, I think my fears became reality and I feel like I'm having another Drive experience here. Maybe not at the same level as Drive, I feel like Ex-Aid got me less angry and annoyed, but this season really didn't click with me. I see that it can grow on me because after episode 11 I started enjoying it more, but the general feeling for these 15 episodes and this movie was... meh? Like, I don't like most of the characters, I have a serious problem with the comedy, and there's something in the dialogue of this show that really tickles me off. I also don't like how CGI heavy this show is, and most of the CGI looks horrible.

One thing that really pushed me off at the beginning was the structure that wasn't very interesting, we had 4 episodes to introduce the riders, 4 episodes to give a power-up to each of them, and 2 to introduce a shared power-up and defeat the first general of the villains, and I felt like I came out of these without that much story, it felt like they were just going through a checklist of toys they had to sell and not actually telling a story. It's only from episode 11 onward that it starts to feel like this show has some sort of plot.

I also don't like how this starts similar to a Rider War thing, with all riders competing to see who cleans 10 games first and gets the most Gashats, but they make all characters out of the main one be completely hateful so we have no choice other than root for him. And like, it's okay to give us jerk characters, but you gotta give us something about them so that we can hang on, you don't need to make them redeemable or anything but you gotta have enough for us to love hating on a character otherwise it's just annoying.

Going back to my weird dialogue point, probably one of the things that I dislike the most is how there are times where they don't seem like real people talking? Like, the image I have when seeing the dialogue is that a bunch of old men in a writers' room sit down thinking "what will sound very trendy to hit off with the kid gamers", "what's a young people language we can put here" and they think they're being very smart and clever, but just sounds odd as hell, especially with the gaming aspect and the catchphrases (that at this point in this franchise I'm already tired of them because most of them aren't even charming anymore).

Another thing that doesn't sit well with me is just how special they make these characters be when there's no necessity for it. Like, being an actual doctor is already special enough, you don't need to have your main rider be extremely good at games to justify the gaming motif, you don't need the secondary rider to be a famous prodigious surgeon to install a rivalry. I mean look at Kiriya, as far as I can't remember he doesn't have any special trait and yet he manages to be interesting and stand out on his own. Heck, you don't need to have Emu be patient 0 of the gaming disease when you already have him being really good at video-games and when you're starting to add another element to him with a possible second personality, it's too much for a single character RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. It's not like we're seeing those characters evolving into becoming special, they're already special and we just have to buy it. Of course, there are still routes that they can go with that will make the show more interesting, like for example they can do something with Taiga and Emu and their game addiction/obsession and that can be really great, but all this special feeling since the beginning really bugs me.

I think since I'm already here let me talk about the characters. Emu is a precious kid, there are times in which he kinda gets under my skin, but I overall like him. I especially love that he works as a pediatrician, in the beginning, especially considering this is a kids' show, I like to have this idea of doctors being heroes in the mind of children because they really are (despite the health care system in a lot of countries make it looks like they're villains). Other than him being extra special there are two things the show does with him that I don't like, the first one is that after the first arc is done they make him leave pediatrics to start doing surgeries and while I understand that as an intern that's the normal course and he probably has to go through different areas before choosing a specialty, but I feel like that was done just to hone more the rivalry with Hiiro and I don't really care for that, I hope he's back at pediatrics later on because I feel like it's what makes more sense for him and for the target audience of this show. The other thing I don't like is his personality change when he "starts a game" because it never felt like there was much of a change in any of the cases, they just make a gust of wind and he shows a grim for a few seconds, but nothing changes. And seeing that this is a plot point they want to explore it annoys me that they never made that play out before, it's bringing something up when it's convenient and saying that they had a basis for that but the basis is a single small thing that was never brought up to attention before.

Moving to Hiiro, I Hate Him and that's all I have to say. And I hate him even more because the show put him in a relationship where he was very cold and dismissive of his significant other and still they want to make us sympathize with him, they frame it as "the girl left because she didn't want to bother your studies" instead of "she left you because you were a jerk". But of course, they can't make that because then they wouldn't be able to make the stoic character they want so much, they would have to make someone who's trying to become a better person after he lost someone important that he didn't give the proper attention to, and that's much harder and they don't want that. UGH, I hate this man so much.

Taiga. Taiga is... interesting, I like the concept of someone who worked at CR before but lost himself to addiction, that's a great plot point. It's sad they don't do much with him and we end up with another obsessive jerk. Still, don't hate him as much because I can see the potential for them doing something very cool with him, but as of now, he's in the pile of hate.

Kiriya was probably my favorite character of this cast, it was really fun seeing him go from a mysterious man lurking around to someone who looks very deceptive, and all the journey of him investigating the truth as the episodes where going, and seeing his credibility be questioned but he never gave up despite that, it was all very great. Do I think it was a cheap move to kill him before he could tell the truth about Emu? Yes, I do. Because this is something we see everywhere, it's not a new trick. But I still felt his death, and if they don't come up with a way to revive him somehow I'll give this show props because it was a bold move to kill off a character during the Christmas special.

About Genm, and all the villains for that matter, I don't have much to say. I don't get them, I'm not curious to understand them, thus I don't care for them. It's interesting that the powers of the riders end up coming from the main villain? A bit? But then again, if you have all of these powers and you're handing them to people who oppose you, it seems like it's very counter-intuitive. At least they have the excuse that he's gathering data from them, but if he never recovers those gashats, is he really getting the data he wants? I don't know, everything about him and the villains seems very odd. But for what's worth, he almost killed himself to gather data for a zombie game and that was pretty wild so I guess that counts? About Graphite and Parad, I don't have anything to say, don't really care for them.

This leaves us with the side characters. Asuna/Poppy, I wanna like her but sadly I don't. If she is the "token girl" of the season, I'm at least glad she's not a romantic interest and that she fills in as a support role, but still, don't know why she can't just be a regular nurse that goes a little crazy sometimes. Though I guess if they had gone this route with her she would probably become Kiriko 2.0 and that's also bad so... There's the Director of the hospital, and I just hate him, I hate that they make someone who's supposed to be the leader of the hospital sooooo stupid. And he's stupid at all times, he doesn't even get the treatment Jun had in which he was there for comedy but he also had his moments where he was serious and those moments were pretty good. This dude is just here to make his eyes pop and drool over his son and I hate that. Mr. Minister should've chosen someone better suited for this job. And last, there's Nico who just seems like another jerk I don't like, but I'm holding on talking about her because I think I've only seen her for 2 or 3 episodes and she appeared very little so I can't say much about her.

I intended to talk about the Dr. Pac-Man movie, but they actually integrated that plot in the show in a much more flashed out way this time around so I feel like it would be redundant to talk about it since the bigger points I would have to make were already touched on. But let me say, what a mess of a movie. Like, there was no reason for Wizard and Gaim to be there, like how did Gaim even get there in the first place? This movie would be much better with only Drive, Ghost, and Ex-Aid, because they actually had a decent plot going around there that connected very nicely. But it's still a cross-over movie and they make a lot of things I hate about these cross-overs, the awful rider forms are there, there was an awful huge CGI battle scene that looked ugly as hell (though props to them for making this fight happen mid-way and not at the end), there was that scene were the riders started to speed-run through their old forms that were also pretty awful because I could barely understand what was going on in the scenes, all the mess that every rider cross-over movie has. But the thing that annoyed me the most this time around wasn't even that, was Ghost being Ghost again and putting another countdown to doom into Takeru and bringing Akari in this hell with him, and having ANOTHER fake-out death for him at the end. GOSH, THIS ANNOYS ME SO MUCH, LET THIS DUDE LIVE, STOOOOOOP.

And before wrap-up let's talk about what everyone loves, the designs.

This is probably the group with my least favorite designs EVER in this franchise, I'm sorry. I get, they're taking inspiration of different game genres, and the different forms are like they're leveling up, and in concept, I like that but in actual looks, only a very few of them get to pull it off. To begin with, I don't even know what those belts are supposed to be, they look way too busy and I can't define what that shape is.

The Level 1 forms are a mistake. I know, it's Mario before he eats a mushroom, it's still ugly as hell, and I hate that when they grow to their Level 2 forms the head of Level 1 goes to their back like a backpack. In terms of Level 2, I wasn't a fan of Ex-Aid's eyes at first but the design grew on me a lot, I love the colors and how vibrant it is, I also like Genm's because it's just a color variation and it looks good so... Kinda wish his hammer arm stayed as a hammer all the time though, makes Brave having a sword less special. And speaking of him, despite hating his character, as an RPG fan, I do love his design. Snipe, on the other hand, is an abomination. That thing on his right eye that is supposed to hair? What the fuck Kamen Rider, you can do better. Well... at least he's not just a bike, I guess. Thinking about it now, I should've known that Kiriya would end-up dying when his level 2 form was just a bike, that was a major red flag. At least he looks cool.

Sadly Level 3 starts to make everything look ugly again because the power-ups are attachments and they usually go only in the upper body making everyone look like an ice cream cone. I don't think there's a single Level 3 design I like, all of them look awful. I think Shakariki Sports and Jet Combat offend me the most, but all of these can be thrown in the trash. Together with the shared Level 5 power-up, gosh talk about an awful form, it's so bulky, and that dragon head looks so ridiculous, I think the only Level 5 that works is Brave's because in the end it just looks like he's branding his sword, but everyone else looks awful, in special the Full Dragon form.

The Level 10 forms are fun because I love Genm's zombie version, black and white is an easy combination but it works so well, and this dude looks so freaking cool, also NO BACKPACK HEAD! Also, he has a much better belt than the others, this should be the design for all the riders, it's not very big, it's easily recognizable as a portable console, it just looks good you know? But then we have Ex-Aid's Level 10 and he's chibi ex-aid again and he looks awful, thankfully this form is just a set for us to get Level 20 Left and Right that is a concept I love and definitely my favorite suits out of the ones for this season so far. Would I like it better if there wasn't the shoulder piece with Lv.10's head? Definitely, but I still love these forms. I personally love the right side more because after all we already have a light blue rider on the team, but I also think the bright orange with blue accents looks more appealing and stands out more than the blue with orange accents. The last form present in these 15 episodes is Para-DX's Puzzle and Fighting game forms, and I hate the puzzle form, it's really ugly, the fighting game form works way much better, but the back of the helmet being Puzzle's head brings it down a little.

And that's it for this post. Not gonna lie, considering how much I didn't enjoy this show at the beginning, I'm very surprised by how long this post is. I think it's a sign I'm invested so I'm hoping we'll have only good things from here on now. If you have anything to add, please share your thoughts in the comments down below. Stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so much for reading me rant for so long, and until the next time. See ya in the next game.

[mynamehan]

Crush Culture - Peter Parker imagine

A/N: Totally got inspired by the AMAZING song called Crush culture by Conan Grey (check him tf out if ya haven’t). 

warnings: none I think? minor swear words maybe. some angst but fluff mostly

word count: idk exactly but a bit on the longer side soz it’s worth it tho

paring: Peter Parker x Reader

summary: Your recent feelings towards Peter have been getting you down lately and when Valentine’s comes around, you feel yourself growing tired of it. Just as you plan on completely ditching your crush something unexpected happens.

.

Valentine’s Day.

A day most people viewed solemnly as a consumers trap. Even though you’d never actually had a proper valentine, you didn’t mind that other people did. Any day to celebrate kindness was a win in your eyes, and you had never had any problems with the slightly gimmicky day. At least, not until now. 

Recently, feelings for the shy, sweet and kinda nerdy guy most people recognized as Peter Parker had surfaced, which put you in quite an unfortunate position. It didn’t take a genius to notice how he felt about a certain Liz Allen, seeing the way his dreamy gaze always seemed to lock on her in the hallway. For an observant person like you it was glass clear, he had fallen head over heels for her. As if that wasn’t enough, you being good friends with Michelle and being Ned’s childhood friend landed you some pretty juicy inside information on Parker’s more private thoughts. 

Now, at Midtown High, Valentine’s Day wasn’t that big of a deal really, only a few decorations in hallways and the cafeteria were hung by members of the student council. A small contest involving guessing the right amount of Hershey’s Kisses in a large jar was an annual thing they arranged. To enter, you could either team up in two or go solo, and after carefully looking at the jar from all sorts of angles, you wrote down your name, class and guess. Last year, you and Michelle teamed up as a joke and ended up winning the entire jar of Hershey's, which you ended up sharing with Ned and Peter. This year though, you weren’t in the mood for sweets, really all you felt was bitterness.

I don’t care if I’m forever alone

I’m not falling for you

'Cause this baby is love-proof

You glanced over at Peter as he stood with Ned by his locker, nerding out over something and you pursed your lips in aggravation. Nope, you were not going to do this to yourself. Crushing on someone who isn’t interested in you is a bad move and also not a very healthy one. 

“Hey loser, why ya looking so cranky?” 

Michelle slammed herself into the locker next to yours, scrutinizing your facial expression. The bang she caused snapped you out of your stare but you continued furrowing your brows as you let your gaze fall on the darkness in your locker.

Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out

I know what you’re doing, tryna get me to pursue ya

Your eyes set on nothing in particular as Michelle gave you a light nudge in the side. “Dude, are you in a trance or som-“

“Michelle, I need you to distract me today.”

“What are you tal-“

“Just please.” 

Cutting her off, you subtly let your gaze wander over to the two boys again, feeling your heart flutter as Peter let out a giggle over something Ned said. “Take me somewhere or tell me weird stories, you’re full of those.”

“Oookay, um, I plan on stylishly tearing apart some clothes after school to make them more grungy and I guess I could need someone to help me-“

You slammed your locker shut, keeping your gaze on the sweater wearing boy before abruptly turning on your heel and grabbing onto MJ’s arm. “Great. Let’s go talk about that.”

Oh no, don’t look in their eyes, 'cause that’s how they get you

After lunch and another two periods of trying to completely ignore the fact that all you could think about was Peter, the bell rang signalling the end of class. Scrambling your books, pens and papers into your arms, you got up and quickly started making your way out of the classroom. You didn’t get very far though until you felt a light tap on your shoulder to which you turned around sharply. As your gaze locked on a set of far too familiar brown eyes, you felt the air go out of you. 

“Y-you dropped your, uh, your pen.” 

Peter held up the blue pen with a shy smile on his lips. 

“Hmm. Thanks.” You replied stiffly before turning to walk off but once again Peter stopped you. 

“Hey, uh, Y/N. Are-are you okay? You seem kind of upset…” 

Standing still in your spot, you closed your eyes and took a sharp breath. “I just, I’m not in the mood today, Peter.” 

Your voice dripped with bitterness which made Peter frown slightly. “Well, are you sure, you seem-“

“I’m fine.” You snapped, not looking back the slightest as you hurried away.

And no I don’t want your sympathy, all this love is suffocating

Just let me be sad and lonely

Throwing your books into your locker, you held onto the blue pen just a few seconds longer before throwing it in with the rest. Sighing deeply, you let your head rest against the locker. Why couldn’t you get the stupid crush out of your head? Resting your temple against the metal, you frowned slightly, feeling a mixture of sadness and frustration. 

Grabbing your calculus things and closing the locker you set off to go find MJ in the library where you had planned to meet up briefly before class. Passing by the doors to the cafeteria you couldn’t help but look at the table where Liz and another member of the student council were standing, managing the Hershey’s guessing contest. It was no wonder why Peter found her so attractive, hell, you were sure everybody did. Besides her looks, her all-around kindness and charisma were charming enough to win anyone over.

I don’t care what you’re saying, I don’t wanna participate in your game of manipulation

“Hey, Y/N! Wanna try for a kiss?” Liz’s preppy voice cut off your thoughts and you forced a smile. Walking up to her, you placed a strand of hair behind your ear, swallowing hard. 

“Hey, Liz.” You greeted, taking a look at the nicely decorated table with the jar. “Wow, looks great this year. Have you been here all day?” 

She nodded, giving you a beaming smile as she went on to talk about all the effort she and the others put into it. You couldn’t help but stare at the way her eyes lit up as she talked, which made you think of Peter’s eyes whenever he was excited. 

“Are you gonna compete? Defend your title as the reigning queen of Hershey’s?” The both of you giggled at the nickname she gave you, and after a deep sigh, you bit your lip and took the piece of paper Liz held out for you. 

Taking a close look at the jar of Hershey's you furrowed your brows as you tried to count them. Giving up after reaching 32 you shook your head lightly before scribbling down 68, adding a couple more thinking it couldn’t hurt. Handing back the pen and paper to Liz, she gave you a wink. 

“Good luck, Y/N. Oh, and don’t forget that the winner is revealed at 3:30.” You nodded and said goodbye to her thinking to yourself that you’d probably be well on your way to MJ’s by then. 

A sudden slam hit your body and almost made you lose your balance. A wave of rage boiled up in you and you swore to god that if the universe won’t stop putting you in situations like this, you’d lose all sense of hope. His warm eyes now had a worried and slightly scared look in them and you sighed heavily when you were once again face to face with them. 

“Oh my-my god, Y/N, shit, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t, I wasn’t watching where I was going a-and suddenly you were there-“

Shut your damn mouth, you’re talking too loud

“It’s fine.” You averted your eyes and tried to push past him, but he caught you by your arm. 

“Hey, is everything okay with you Y/N..? You’ve been so off the entire day, actually a lot lately… Did I do something to upset you? Please t-tell me if I did something wrong because we all know I’m pretty clueless most of the time.”

“More like oblivious…” You muttered out, barely catching his attention. 

“W-what?”

You shook your head softly, dismissing his question. He kept his confused puppy eyes on you and eventually you dared to gaze up at them. Big mistake. 

“Y/N, you can talk to me, you know that. I-I know we maybe aren’t super tight friends. Y-yet! But, um, I’m totally here and up for, uh, for venting-“ He rambled on, worry lacing his stutters. 

You shook your head slowly, gaining solid eye contact with him. “I don’t, I don’t know how-” 

You sighed defeated, filling Peter with an unsettling feeling. His kind eyes bore into yours and you felt trapped in a corner. What the hell were you supposed to say? Confess? You opened and closed your mouth a couple times and pressed your eyes shut before giving him a sad smile. “I can’t.” 

Merely talking to him pained you. How could such a minor thing like having a crush make you feel like absolute garbage? You scurried away to the library only to see Ned sitting with MJ, making small talk. Slamming your book down as you sat next to MJ, you let your head fall to the table. 

“I am having a horrible day today. I feel like I’m being punished.” Your words were muffled by the book, but Ned’s sympathizing hand on your shoulder made you look up. 

Resting your chin on your hand, you managed to sit up just as Peter made his way into the room, cheeks pink and eyes bright. “I thought it would only be us two.” You hissed to MJ, to which she shrugged. 

And no one cares if you two made out

“Holy crap, guys, you won’t believe what just happened. I went up to Liz and we actually had a solid 5 minute conversation. She, a-and me!”

“That’s great, Peter!” Ned uttered excitedly. “Maybe you can ask her out later then?”

“I-I don’t know, may-maybe? I might talk to her as she reveals the Hershey’s winners. Tell her I’m really impressed with the set-up or something.”

You and MJ shared a slightly annoyed look before turning back to the boys. “Congrats, you actually had a conversation with a person. Color me impressed.” MJ muttered out in her normal manner.

Peter rolled his eyes before continuing to blabber on. You couldn’t help but feel sick hearing him talk so fondly of her and not you. 

“I’m gonna go home actually, I’m not feeling good. Sorry MJ but we’ll have to reschedule. Uh, good luck with Liz and everything, Peter. See ya, Ned.” With that you said goodbye to the trio, leaving them all pretty confounded. 

Making your way down the halls and to your locker as fast as you could, you practically ran to the nearest subway station. Locking your front door behind you, you went straight to your room, ignoring your dad’s confused question as to why you were home so early. He knew not to press you on the subject so he let you cool down for a while. Throwing yourself on your bed, you let out a whimper as you felt tears prick at your eyes as you lost track of time. Being too caught up in your thoughts and self-pity, you didn’t even hear the doorbell ring about 30 minutes later or the knock on your door. Suddenly a familiar figure creaked your door open and leaned against the frame. You caught glimpse of him in the corner of your eye and practically flew up into a sitting position. 

“Peter? What are you doing here?” You asked in utter confusion, furrowing your brows together.

He bit his lip gently as he took a step forward, revealing what he carried in his arms. The jar of Hershey’s. 

“Uh, we, both won. They called a tie.” His eyes flickered between you and the floor. His nervous stature almost made you feel nervous as well. 

“Oh, um. Well, thanks for coming here to tell me that. That’s very sweet of you.” He shrugged as you pursed your lips shut in the slightly awkward silence.

“Yeah, no, no problem at all. I-I was going to ask you if you wanted to share them o-over a movie or some-something?” Peter’s eyes met yours and you shook your head lightly, thinking you misheard him. 

“What?”

Peter’s cheeks instantly flushed, thinking you had rejected the offer. He scratched the back of his neck as he stuttered out a response. “W-we don’t have to, I-I just thoug-”

“No!” You exclaimed, a bit louder than you intended which took Peter by surprise as you got up on your feet. “No, of course Peter! I-I’d love that.” 

Putting some hair behind your ear, Peter offered you a shy smile. “G-great! Um, I-I’m free whenever really.”

Your smile grew as you took a few steps closer to him, taking the jar as he held it out to you. “Honestly, I thought you’d be busy, you know, taking Liz out or something...”

I’m sick of the kissing cult

Peter raised his brows momentarily before shaking his head. “Nah, she made it pretty clear that she was off limits, actually.” You gave him a confused look as he continued. “After revealing the winner, I went up to her to accept the prize and as we were chatting, some dude came and kissed her, so...” He shrugged and broke your eye contact.

“Oh, Peter, I’m so sorry... Well at least you have me as a back up.” Bumping your elbow on his arm in a jokingly matter, he looked up at you smiling.

“You’re not a back-up plan, Y/N.”

At a temporary loss for words, you chuckled as your heart fluttered. 

“I, uh, it would an honor to accompany the two-times reigning master actually. Celebrate our victory.” A hint of red creeped its way up Peter’s neck.

As a grin made its way to your lips, you took a small step closer, now seeing the small details of his beautiful brown eyes. “Can’t wait.”

[nianderful]

nia’s 30 days of witchaversary (days 1-17)

um, oops?

i meant to do this sooner, i swear, but i’ve been very busy with work and other real life stuff this month

i actually wasn’t intending to do this at all, but since my initial plans to celebrate WITCH have kind of fallen off, i may as well jump on the bandwagon! i hope i’m not too late 😅

day 1: favorite guardian

orube! i absolutely adore this girl. she’s such a great character--appearing to be a hardened warrior but in reality is the biggest softie...while also kicking a lot of ass. i love her interactions with the guardians, i love the depth she has, and while i could gush about cedrube all day, they deserve its own space. 

honorable mentions go to....well, the rest of w.i.t.c.h., will and taranee in particular. i relate to both of them a lot (mostly with being pretty shy and socially awkward)

day 2-favorite villain

(will smith poses) THIS GUY. i know everyone and their mother loves phobos, but i am not Everyone And Their Mother.  i honestly think phobos is kind of lame

cedric on the other hand, is a different story. this guy’s a CHAD. he was the one Actually Doing Stuff in the first arc. HE was the one pulling weight during phobos’ scheme in the fourth arc, AND ludmoore’s in the fifth.

also he’s just a great villain in general; a consistent threat through and through, powerful as heck (unlike his tv counterpart who got his tail whooped by everyone) and do i even NEED to bring up him and orube? (i’m gonna get to them, i promise) 

day 3- favorite love interests

i honestly think all the WITCH bois are good but if i could pick a favorite....

peter! he’s just so good. a sweetheart, a looker, a great big brother.....he’s perfect. (like tadashi, ‘cept he doesn’t die)

look at him and corny being goofy. love is real and it’s in the picture above me.

 day 4: favorite pairing/ship

aww man this is a long time comin’ so let’s get it DONE

cedrube. always cedrube. forever cedrube. 

these two are just....so good. a twosome on opposite sides, brought together by their shared experience of being Fish Out of Water. orube brought out the best in cedric (his semi-redemption, anybody?) and cedric allowed orube to experienced something she longed for.

if only their ending was as happy as they are in this picture...

day 5-favorite friendship

picking all of w.i.t.c.h. would be too predictable, so i choose...

these two! i love how irma and hay lin are Those Two Gals, joking around when the others are being serious. these two are perfect together, and i love the scenes when they’re messing around.

day 6: favorite cover/promo/pin up art

the cover for issue 56!

ugh i love this. it’s gorgeous; the movement’s fluid, the expressions are on point, and it’s a tribute/celebration of the tv series! (particularly with the girls curled up in element colored balls; a reference to the toon transformation)

day 7: favorite issue 

had to go with the one that started it all, issue 1. this series has been with me for a long time, and i remember being so captivated with the first issue. i may sing the praises of precure, but w.i.t.c.h. was actually my very first magical girl series, and this issue was my very first experience with the genre. i will always hold it close to me. 

day 8-favorite special

the orube special! orube sadly isn’t a character that gets much play outside of her role as w.i.t.c.h’s ally/honorary guardian, but this issue gives us just that! we get to see her get a job, make friends, and learn a little more about how to be an earthling. 

day 9-favorite guardian uniform

i’ll pick taranee’s! 

it looks the most....practical to me. like, if i was a guardian, i’d wear something like this. also i ADORE the fact that tara keeps her glasses in guardian form. any other show would have them get magicked away, but not here. as a Black Girl With Glasses, it’s a detail i really appreciate.

day 10-favorite world/planet

um. kandrakar, i guess?

it’s pretty. 

day 11-something awesome

speaking of tara....

this moment from issue 4. another moment i remember vividly from my childhood, and one of the first scenes that shows us that taranee is not to be messed with. don’t play with fire INDEED. 

day 12-something that made me cry

i have yet to cry when reading this comic, but a moment that really made me sad was when will’s dormouse died

this really hurt, not just because it came after the hope spot of will’s dad going away, as well as nerissa’s defeat, but because ol’ dormouse had been a staple of the series to this point, and it was clear that he formed a bond with will. just a really cruel moment to end the second arc on. (but not in a bad way, of course)

day 13-something heartwarming

the last page of issue 20! 

issue 20 is a bit of a roller coaster for poor will; she’s slowly being manipulated by nerissa, to the point where she shuts herself off from the girls. on the side, we have yan lin beginning to worry about history repeating itself with the current guardians.

but then this happens, a moment that shows us that WITCH will not suffer the same fate as the team that came before them.

will just spent the scenes before this pushing away from her teammates, even attacking them; for them to say that they trust her irrevocably says a LOT about their faith in will, and the friendship of WITCH itself.

day 14-something that irked me 

everything about the arkhanta arc that doesn’t involve orube or the astral drops!

(reader beware, it’s about to get personal Up In Here. mentions of ableism to follow.)

we may as well start with the backstory of ari, because his relationship with his son and how it’s handled is going to be the epicenter of everything i’m discussing.

‘yeah once upon a time there was a happy farmer who had a kid, but oh no he’s nonverbal and can’t communicate! happy farmer is sad now” (also he may have told kandrakar to Fix It but Oracle Said No)

see the problem here? it’s okay if you don’t, because i’m here to explain!

basically the villain of this arc is an Autism Dad who thinks his son needs to be Fixed. he constantly angsts about the fact that his son doesn’t talk, smile, or say I Love You....basic whiny Autism Parent stuff. 

except we’re supposed to sympathize with him. we’re supposed to see him as a poor innocent man instead of, you know, someone who may be unintentionally hurtful with his woe-is-me-isms (also will insisting that he’s in the right...)

and as if that’s not irksome enough....

maqi gets cured in the end. he’s speaking, he’s emoting, he’s not The Broken Kid anymore!

yeah, uh, no. i have autism, and have exhibited some of maqi’s traits on a regular basis. (and it’s not just me, my little sister imani was nonverbal for a lot of her childhood. we didn’t even think she was going to be able to talk.) and as someone who’s felt like i was a Broken Kid, that some thing was wrong with me, and has wondered Why Can’t She Just Be Normal....this ending does NOT fly with me, and neither does ari as a character.

ari’s not a Sympathetic Sad Dad, he’s an ableist douchecanoe. there’s a REASON i compared him to autism moms. maqi’s “problem” isn’t that he’s sick or anything (the comic even SAYS he’s perfectly healthy!!) he just isn’t emotive or talkative....and for the comic to paint as something that has to be fixed is more than a little gross. i know the comic wasn’t intending to offend with this, but that’s exactly what it did.

thank goodness for orube and the astral drops, or this would’ve been my least favorite arc.  

day 15-something that needs a quick fix

um. i got nothing for this one. 

day 16-something that needs an overhaul

the arkhanta arc. either cut out the ‘must cure my son of his autistic-coded traits’ or create a new conflict all together. (like the whole maqi thing could’ve been fixed with simply giving him and illness or putting him into a coma!)

and like everyone else, i’d like a overhaul of new power and beyond.

day 17-something that needs to be resisted

sweet mother of monkey milk, the astral drops. i wanna see how they’re doing. i wanna see what their lives are. do they remember anything, even secretly?

also visit orube while we’re at it, see how she’s doing post 5th arc.