#shed do her cute sunshiney smile before 'shooting' me
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God I need therapy
#falling in love with a friend? in /my/ brain?? its more likely than you think#okay maybe love is a strong word. like i love this friend but im not in love with her#and maybe im more in love with the idea of her?#like. she is the sweetest person ive ever met. she has such a dry wit and interesting speaking mannerisms#interesting isnt the right word but its the best one i could think of#like. this person randomly says shes vegan in situations that dont require it. and shes not even vegan#me: can you help me lift this? her: no sorry im vegan#its just so undeniably her and its so endearing#its impossible to say no to her because she has such a sunshiney smile and personality#also. another fun thing. at camp (where we met and worked together) i had to carry a radio cuz i was an area director#but my staff. especially her. loved to steal that radio. and i didnt care because they never called anyone they just fucked around#and these radios have a button on them that just makes a beep. like thats all that the button does#so everyone would pretend its a gun and would 'shoot' people#so sometimes id realize my radio was missing. look around. see her holding it. aimed at me#shed do her cute sunshiney smile before 'shooting' me#smiling as she kills me#whoch is obviously something to fall in love with#none of this is related to why i need therapy btw#the reason i thought 'god i need therapy' was because i was thinking about her. as i do. and i started to picture a life together?#i really love her parents and younger brother and i thought 'yeah id like to be a part of that family'#that is what prompted my thought of needing therapy. imagining myself in a different family#yeah i definitely have parent issues#but like. it would be so nice. to have a relationship with her. to have a connection with her family#god i need therapy holy shit#and a nap. im going to work 5am-3pm for the next two days#i have too much going on to be imagining a life with her... but like. a life with her sounds so lovely#why does therapy have to be so expensive. i need to work out my parent issues#send thoughts and prayers. and money if you want to fund my therapy so you dont have to read posts like this anymore#for my shift. i have to wake up at 4am. or maybe. i could just stay awake until 4am. and then work until 3pm. this plan is foolproof#im going to collapse
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