#since he also saw junghyun

[slimeclimbtime]

EVERYONE STFU JIANYU AND JEONGHYEON INTERACTION REAL?

IM GOING TO FUCKING....AARGHHHHH WHERE ARE THE PICS I NEED THEM!!! THIS IS MY MEAL FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS. JIANYU KNEW WE WERE LOSING THE RIJEONG FIGHT AND FOUGHT BACK (i dont have anything against rijeongers btw)

on another note ppl are getting mad at jianyu for not mentioning junhyeon YALL IT AINT THAT DEEP AND YALL MAKING AN ASSUMPTION BASED OFF OF SOMETHING THAT WASNT SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE (its like the "i like pancakes" "oh so you hate waffles" thing like aint no WAY)

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 8.5 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: peach, curses, luxury, alcohol, jungkook's family, they are so gone for each other my dude, explicit content: hickeys, dom!Jungkook, big dick!Jungkook, jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), exhibitionism (sort of but not really), protected sex, marking, ass slapping, praising, clit play

☆word count: 6.7k

☆a/n: tried writing smut in jk's pov, i hope you guys liked it <3 also this is supposed to be a drabble but it's literally a full chapter HAHA hope it doesn't disappoint :')

☆join the discord server here!

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Jungkook has been happy. Ever since you got to New York yesterday, he’s been happy. It’s a feeling he’s not accustomed to when it comes to the city he grew up in, yet one he’s finding to love far more than he ever imagined he would.

Maybe it’s you, and the dress you got yesterday. To say that you stole the breath from his lungs when you stepped out of the changing room would be an understatement. The second he saw you, he felt like all the stars had aligned in his night sky, with you as the centerpiece. It felt like you were the center to his universe, and frankly, it’s a feeling he wants to get used to. 

If he wasn’t sure about you before yesterday, he sure as hell is now. No matter what Taehyung says, what anyone says, he knows he wants to be with you.

He can’t wait for you to charm his brother, too. He’s not stupid enough to believe you’ll charm his parents as well - they are extremely classist, and they hate everything that Jungkook likes. You could be the goddess of a religion and they would still hate you. But Junghyun… Jungkook hopes Junghyun will love you.

Something aches in Jungkook’s chest, because he should have warned you about his parents. Should have told you, and anxiety stabs him in the gut. He glances at you, and you look just as anxious as him, which he reckons is comforting somehow.

He’s not alone for this engagement party. Not when you’re here, even though maybe he was a dick not to tell you anything.

“Smile, peach,” he forces out as he nudges you with an elbow.

You glance at him, your light makeup accentuating your features in a way that makes him gulp as your gazes connect.

“You smile,” you throw back at him, and he finds he can’t resist.

He smiles, laughing lowly. “Do you want something to drink?”

He reckons it could help. Both you and him, chasing away the lingering anxiety.

You look down at yourself, wincing. “I’m afraid I’ll ruin the dress.”

You’re adorable. Downright adorable, and he holds in a laugh as he looks at you, heart fluttering in his chest. “So you’re just going to stand still the whole evening because you’re afraid to ruin your clothes?”

A muscle feathers on your jaw as you roll your eyes. “Precisely.”

“Loosen up, peach,” Jungkook teases.

He hopes you know that he wants you to be comfortable more than anything. That he wants you to prove everyone wrong, to prove that you belong to his strange, ridiculous world. And maybe that’s why he invited you here: to prove himself, too, that you can handle being in his life, with no secrets between you. Because he knows you deserve it, he’s just afraid his world will chew you out.

You don’t deserve that.

“You know what?” you let out. “Sure, I’ll take a drink.”

Jungkook sighs in relief, and he grabs glasses for you and him from a passing waitress, and you drink while talking about the skyline, which he has to admit is not half as beautiful as you.

Not that he would ever tell you.

You’re almost finished with your drinks when Jungkook glances at the door, noticing his parents walking in. Everything stops, and he feels like someone is clutching his heart, a second away from crushing it in their hold. His mother notices him, and he stiffens even more, preparing for the inevitable fight.

“Are you okay?” you ask, resting a hand on his arm.

Jungkook startles, and he pulls at his piercings, nodding curtly. “All good.”

“Is that…” you trail off.

“Yep.”

“What should I do?” you ask, tugging on his arm.

Jungkook finally looks at you, and he wonders if you can hear the loud beats of his heart. Hell, he thinks he even has trouble breathing, and he gulps before saying, “Just be yourself.”

Because you’re perfect just the way you are, and he wouldn’t want you to change, ever.

You offer him a small smile, and his gaze drops to it. It warms something in his chest, soothes him like a lullaby, and he finds he’s finally able to breathe. He’d thank you for it, for your presence here, but his mother is upon you, and he readies himself to face her.

“Jungkook,” she says, voice just as grating as it always is.

“Mother.”

“Glad to see you came around and decided to come.”

He doesn’t reply right away. Instead, he wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you just a little closer. Your presence is steadying, and he knows that, for the first time in his life, he won’t fail in this fight against his mother.

“I wanted to introduce Y/n to the family,” he says.

His mother looks at you, and he hates the way she cocks an eyebrow in judgment.

“I don’t think we know each other,” she says, contempt dripping from her tone.

Jungkook wants to intervene, but you’re ready. You reply, “I don’t think so.” You bow your head, much more polite than Jungkook has even seen you, before adding, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Jungkook’s father, who’s been standing next to his wife the whole time, pats his wife’s hand before leaving, like he doesn’t even think you’re worthy of his attention.

It’s nothing new - Jungkook knows he is not even worthy of his father’s attention.

“Likewise,” his mother replies to you. She scans you up and down, noting the dress Jungkook got for you, and then her gaze stops on your heels. “Nice shoes.”

Now, Jungkook is done. You don’t deserve his mother’s contempt, not when you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

“Mother,” he intervenes.

“You thought dressing her up in a nice dress would make us forget that she’s not from our class?”

Jungkook hates her. He’s always hated her, felt like an outcast in his own family, but the insult makes it starker, truer, like the hate he holds for his mother is a law of the universe.

“Excuse me?” you let out, surprising Jungkook.

Surprising his mother, too, as she glances at you, eyes slightly widened. “At least she’s got a tongue on her.”

Because obviously that’s something his mother respects, in her own twisted way. 

“And I’ll ask you to make a fucking effort for once,” Jungkook spits in his mother’s face.

She frowns. “Do not curse, boy. It doesn’t suit you.”

Jungkook sees red, and he laughs dryly. His mother clenches her jaw, and he wonders if he should tell her just how shitty of a person she is. Instead, he holds her gaze, refusing to back down from the fight like he would have if you weren’t here.

It lasts for longer than he expected, his mother not once blinking. But then she looks away, and Jungkook almost screams victoriously as she looks at you again.

“Where do you come from?” she asks.

Jungkook listens to your answer, still reeling from the victory against his mother.

“What do your parents do for a living?”

He’s surprised that his mother is trying. That she’s actually talking to you, and he thinks maybe you actually impressed her more than he imagined you would. Which, he’d thank his stars for it, because he really wants you in his life.

“My mother is a nurse,” you reply. “And I do not know my father.”

Jungkook’s mother blinks once before looking at him again. “Junghyun will be happy you came.”

She turns on her heels and walks away, and Jungkook looks at her back. He waits until she’s out of earshot and out of sight before glancing at you, his heart skipping a beat in his chest by your calm beauty.

“I apologize for this,” he says, and his arm drops from your shoulders.

“I think I’m starting to get why you wanted me to come with you,” you say, meeting his gaze.

He sighs in defeat. “I honestly didn’t think she would be flat-out rude like that.” He downs what’s left of his champagne, hating that there aren't more than a few sips in his glass. He puts it away on the tray of a server as she walks past, before saying, “I promise we can go home as soon as Junghyun shows up and sees that I came.”

Because he wants Junghyun to see you. Wants his brother to like you, to approve of you, because his parents never would.

But at least Junghyun can.

“We can stay longer too,” you reassure him. “I can handle the aristocracy.”

Jungkook can’t help his laugh, especially not when you look at him with that mischievous twinkle in your eyes. “The aristocracy?”

You nod wisely. “Yeah. Because obviously we’re not from the same class.”

He’s falling in love with you. Inevitably, irreversibly falling in love with you, and he’ll forever be thankful for meeting you.

“Fuck, peach.”

And just like that, you fall back in your usual playful banter, and Jungkook forgets all about his unease. It helps that you drink more, the alcohol numbing his senses slightly, and Jungkook introduces you to some of his cousins, those that he knows aren’t as judgy as his parents. Though there’s a language barrier, Jungkook translates for you, and he’s decently buzzed by the time Jungyun shows up, his fiancée on his arm.

Jungyun grins at the sight of Jungkook, immediately making his way towards where Jungkook is standing with you. Jungkook prepares to make the introductions, his heartbeat picking up in his chest as he can’t help the anxiety from flooding back in.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Jungyun says as he stops in front of you, pulling Jungkook into a tight embrace.

Jungkook grins. “I thought it’d be a good surprise.”

“It sure is,” Junghyun agrees, pulling away. He glances at you, offering you a welcoming smile. “And you are?”

“My girlfriend,” Jungkook says before you can say your name. He’s proud to say it too, like you’re the best thing he’s done in his entire life. And though right now it’s false, and you’re not really his girlfriend, he really does believe you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. “From college.”

“Nice to meet you,” Junghyun says.

Jungkook is happy after that. Laughing lightly, smiling wide, and he loves how more comfortable you seem now. Because Junghyun and Nara, his fiancée, are welcoming, much nicer than his parents were earlier, and you enjoy their company until they excuse themselves to go greet the other guests in the room. 

Jungkook smiles at you. “Do you want me to go grab a refill for you?”

You nod, gaze shining. “Yes, please.”

Jungkook obliges, walking away to do so. He has to go to the refreshment table, so it takes him almost a minute before he’s walking back towards you. He notices his mother with you, and his grip tightens on the champagne flutes he’s holding, so much so he thinks they might shatter in his hands. The second you catch sight of him you walk away from his mother, and the tears pooling in your gaze are enough to make him want to go up to his mother and punch some sense into her. 

“What did she tell you?” he asks in the gentlest voice he can summon.

“Nothing,” you say, and he knows it for the lie it is as you blink some tears away.

“I’m really sorry,” he apologizes. “She’s…”

“It’s whatever,” you interrupt before he could finish his sentence. “I just want to spend time with you.”

After that, Jungkook finds he can’t leave your side. And so he stays with you, enjoys his time with you, too, because there’s nothing else he’d rather do right now. Later, after his brother does a speech, he suggests to go eat something, mostly because he’s starving and the entrées they are serving here would never be enough, but also because he wants intimacy with you, a moment just for you two to erase everything his mother said to you.

He knows she likely told you something shitty, because you seem uncomfortable, like it’s troubling your thoughts. He doesn’t want to mention it right now, though, not when you’re still at the engagement party.

You accept Jungkook’s suggestion to head to a restaurant nearby, and Jungkook looks at you. Truly looks at you - you’re an angel overlooking the city, in that blue dress he got you.

He feels small in your presence, and it’s a humbling experience.

“Then wait for me here,” he says and, unable to help himself, he leans closer to press a kiss on your forehead.

The look on your face is entirely worth it, making his heart beat just a little louder in his chest, and he walks over to his father and brother with his heart feeling full and warm, a feeling he’s not too accustomed with, but a feeling he definitely wishes to get used to.

Junghyun notices him first, and his eyes slide to you over Jungkook’s shoulder as Jungkook stops in front of his brother.

“We’re leaving,” Jungkook says, not wanting to beat around the bush when you’re waiting for him.

His brother cocks an eyebrow, chuckling. “Not her crowd?”

Jungkook widens his gaze. “What?”

Junghyun sighs, looking almost apologetic, and he leans closer to speak directly in Jungkook’s ear, low enough for only him to hear.

“Listen, Jungkook, you know she shouldn’t be here,” Junghyun says. “She’s not from our social circle, the parents still want you to marry Gabrielle, and they will literally drag Y/n to hell if that means you break up with her.” He pauses, and Jungkook feels his heart sinking in his chest, all the warmth gone and replaced with winter cold. “She’s clearly just in it for the money anyway.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw, not knowing what to answer. Not expecting Junghyun to say something like that at all, but then again, Junghyun is his mother’s son. Jungkook should have expected it. And he wants to say you didn’t even know anything about the money before yesterday, so he clearly knows you’re not in for the money, but he’s silenced.

Especially when he knows you’re not in at all anyway. You’re just a fake girlfriend he invited so that this party wouldn’t be so excruciating. Yet his heart sinks all the same as he realizes it, like the Titanic headed for the bottom of the ocean. 

“Anyways,” Junghyun adds. “Have fun while it lasts.”

He pulls away, enough to look Jungkook in the eye, though Jungkook can’t find the strength to hold his brother’s gaze. Junghyun scoffs condescendingly, and then he’s walking away, their father in tow.

Jungkook hasn’t spoken to his father in years now. Ever since he decided to study at that college almost four years ago, instead of attending Harvard like Junghyun. It still hurts to be ignored by him, part of Jungkook still begging for his father’s attention despite never really having it, and Jungkook feels his nails digging into his palms as he clenches his fists.

He watches Junghyun leaving, their father leaving, while his heart bleeds. Does Junghyun know how much Jungkook wanted his approval? 

He was stupid enough to believe he’d get it. Hell, he’d thought you’d charm Junghyun easily, yet it seems he was wrong. 

Of course he was. He’s always fucking wrong anyway, isn’t he? 

It’s hard to think about something else after that. To escape the prison that’s been built around his mind, and when he finds himself alone in the elevator with you, he does the only thing he thinks could help.

He kisses you stupid, kisses you dumb, craving to remind himself that you’re real. That you’re here with him, that what his family believes doesn’t matter. And it doesn’t. Not when you’re with him. Not when he apologizes for his family again, and you tell him that you’re happy to be here with him. It undoes him, and he decides to let it go. 

To let his family go, to focus on you. You’re the center of his universe, after all.

And so, for the rest of the evening, Jungkook decides to show you how much he appreciates that you came with him to this stupid engagement party. He forces himself to smile and laugh, and after the first fifteen minutes, it comes naturally to him, like it always does when he’s with you.

He thinks, the evening can only get better from there on. And it does - the club you find yourself in later is electrifying, buzzing with an energy Jungkook loves, and he drinks with you, dances with you, kisses you like you really are his girlfriend.

Like Taehyung doesn’t exist, like it’s just you and him. And for a very selfish moment, Jungkook wishes it could be that simple.

“Fuck, JK,” you whisper when you pull away from said kiss, breathing raggedly.

“What?” Jungkook lets out.

“Kissing you like this, where anyone can see…” you trail off, glancing at the crowd. Jungkook waits for you to finish, his blood slowly heating up in his veins. “It’s turning me on.”

He’ll go insane. As a matter of fact, he thinks he’s gone insane a long time ago. But right now he wants you so bad he almost wants to fuck in the bathroom of the club, which he reckons would be disgusting.

You deserve much better than that.

“Peach,” he says, voice low and husky. He feels his dick twitching in his pants, his arousal suddenly so intense he needs to make you his. “Then I’ll bring you here more often. I’ll show everyone that you’re mine, mmh?”

He doesn’t know how he makes it to his childhood home, later. Doesn’t know how he manages to keep his hands off you the whole way from the club to the condominium, except for holding your hand. He’s relieved he can steal a languid kiss on your lips when you ride the elevator, and he’s about to explode by the time you walk into the condo.

He wants you. So damn bad, yet when you say you have to take a shower, Jungkook agrees. If only so that he can calm down, because he knows he’ll bust the second you start fucking if he doesn’t calm down first.

You head to his room, and Jungkook watches you as you watch the city skyline. You’re beautiful, so beautiful he wonders how he’ll be able to survive if he can’t make you his.

“Do you want to take a shower with me?” you ask as he’s helping you out of your coat.

His mind empties out, and it turns him on even more. “Want me to wash your hair?” he teases, flicking your nose.

You scrunch up your nose as you instinctively move your face back, and he can’t help but smile at the sight.

“Yes,” you say, smirking mischievously. “Maybe if you’re nice I’ll wash your back.”

He narrows his gaze. “I’m always nice.” And then he walks to the walk-in wardrobe, putting your coat away and then taking his off.

“Are you?” you ask as he walks back into his bedroom.

He can’t help himself. He bends down, picking you up bridal style, and he chuckles as you yelp. “Always,” he says, pecking your cheek as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you grumble as Jungkook carries you to the bathroom, setting you down on the counter.

“I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not even a little bit sorry,” he teases, and he steals a quick kiss on your lips.

He walks away, heading towards the shower so that he can turn it on. He feels your eyes on the back of his head as he does so, and he glances back, smiling softly. His heart flutters as you smile back, and it takes everything in him to focus on the task at hand.

“How hot do you want the shower to be?” he asks.

You smirk, and it nearly undoes him entirely. “What kind of hot are you talking about?”

He laughs, rolling his eyes. “Water temperature, dummy.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “Just put it how you like it.”

He nods, and he adjusts the settings until all the shower heads are on, steam soon wafting out of the shower. He then walks back to you, toying with his piercings. He watches as you spread your legs for him, and it’s so sinful he thinks he won’t be able to make it through the shower.

Jungkook manages to wrap his arms around your middle, and he pauses as you rest your forehead on his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” you ask in a murmur.

He wonders if you can hear the beats of his heart in his chest as he picks you up, and then puts you on the floor.

“Gotta get you out of your dress, mmh?” He lightly brushes his fingers on your arms as you hold his gaze, your pupils blown wide. “Turn around, peach.”

You obey, and Jungkook starts to unzip your dress, admiring every inch of skin revealed. Once he’s done, he pushes the dress off your shoulders, holding on to it just long enough to press a soft kiss on the back of your shoulder, and then he lets go. The dress falls, pooling around your ankles, and Jungkook feels so much for you he wonders how he’ll make it out alive.

“You know,” he breathes. He eyes your perked nipples in the mirror in front of you, and he wraps his arms around you, pinching the sensitive buds. “Every time I see you, you get more beautiful.”

“JK…” you breathe out.

“It’s true,” he insists. He turns you around, his eyes getting lost in yours. “There’s something about you…”

That makes me insane, is what he was going to say. But you pull him down into a soft kiss, one that means so much more than words ever could. At least to Jungkook, and he holds your waist as you kiss, his heart soaring in his chest.

“Peach…” he sighs.

He watches you as your eyes flutter open, stark emotion swirling in their depths.

“I think you’re supposed to undress too,” you whisper.

He chuckles, and he forces himself to take a step back. “Wanna help?”

You gulp, yet don’t answer as you raise your hands between the both of you so that you can unbutton his shirt. Jungkook watches you as you do so, his eyes never once shying away from your pretty features. When you’re done, you push his shirt off and rest your hands flat on his chest, right above his racing pulse.

Jungkook takes over then, taking off his pants, and they fall to the floor to meet your dress and his shirt. 

“I’m so going to take my time with you tonight,” he breathes.

He cups your cheek, thumb swiping at your skin, and you lean your head into his palm.

“Yeah?” you let out.

He tilts your head back with a finger to kiss you softly. It grows hungrier, needier, yet he pulls away. “Definitely.” His hands slowly go down your body, stopping at the hem of your panties. “Can I take this off?”

You nod. Without an ounce of hesitation Jungkook drops to his knees. He hits the floor hard, and he’d wince if he wasn’t entranced by you. Instead, he slowly takes off your underwear, trying his best to ignore how your pussy is already glistening for him.

The second he straightens, Jungkook takes off his underwear too, and he sighs in relief as his dick is freed. You eye the precum leaking from his slit, and Jungkook wonders if you can see how he’s shaking from the restraint of not taking you right now.

“Shit, Jungkook,” you breathe.

“I know,” he lets out. “I’m fucking hard for you.” He chuckles and grabs your face to force you to meet his gaze again. “From the mess I saw in your panties, I know you’re already soaked for me too.” He pecks your lips, and then your forehead. “But shower first, right?”

He wants you to say fuck it, to touch him right now. When you kiss him, he thinks you’ll succumb to the desire too, and he sucks on your bottom lip, teasing it with his teeth.

“Shower first,” you agree the second you pull away.

Jungkook hides his disappointment behind a smirk and a wink, and then he walks over to the shower, stepping in as you follow him. He closes the glass door behind you, waiting for a second as you turn to look at him.

“What?” you ask.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what is going on, just that he’s drunk on you and it’s the best feeling he’s ever experienced before.

“Nothing,” he replies. “Pass me the soap?”

You nod, and then the shower passes in a blur of him washing you and you washing him. Jungkook can’t really produce any coherent thoughts, especially not as you say, “Now that you’re clean…” You smirk, and Jungkook knows he’s about to crash into his lust for you when you add, “Maybe I can actually take care of you?”

You really make him insane. Indeed, the second you drop to your knees, Jungkook goes insane, feral, so much so he thinks he’d be your slave if you asked.

“Yeah?” he lets out. “You want to suck me?”

He carefully redirects the shower heads away from your face, and then you jerk him off, once, and he reckons he might be in love with you. You swirl your tongue around his tip, the sight sinfully hot, and then you suck on it lightly.

“Fuck…” he breathes out, and then he leans a hand on the wall for support he knows he’ll clearly need. “Don’t be shy.”

You smirk before dragging your tongue on the side of his dick, from base to top, never once breaking eye contact. Especially not as you wrap your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks as you take most of him in. Your mouth is hot and wet, and Jungkook moans softly as he hits the back of your throat, cursing underneath his breath.

Your mouth is heaven. Your mouth is ecstasy in its purest form, and Jungkook is swimming in bliss when you suck harder, your eyes fluttering shut as you start bobbing your head on him, jerking him off at the same time. He instinctively holds your head, yet he lets you take the lead as you start moaning around him, the vibrations sending lightning strikes to his balls.

He clenches his jaw around his next curse, his head throwing back as you tease his frenulum with your tongue. His breathing is ragged, and he realizes he’s about to come the second you take him all the way in again, and he feels your throat closing around him.

“Peach,” he moans, quickly pulling out of your mouth so that he doesn’t come.

You lick his slit, and his balls tighten. “That feels good?”

He nods. “Way too much.” He chuckles breathlessly, then adds, “I’m going to fall in love with your mouth if you keep sucking me like that.”

He wants to pull you away, but you’re back on his dick and he feels his climax lingering nearby, though it doesn’t hit yet. His dick is rock hard, and it only gets worse when you tentatively tease his balls with one hand. He moans, not caring that the sound might be weird. All he wants is your pussy on him, now.

“Peach,” he lets out, a whiny sound he’d be embarrassed for with anyone other than you. “Stop. I want to fuck you now.”

You pull away, offering him an innocent look that is far too sinful for him, especially as you keep jerking him off quickly. “You don’t think you’d be able to go for round two?”

You’re a brat, and he fucking loves that about you. He chuckles, slightly shaking his head. “Not when I drank. And I really just want to make you feel good too.”

He pulls you up to your feet and, unable to resist, he pushes you against the wall as he ravishes a languid kiss on your lips. You moan as he pushes his tongue in your mouth, and a second later, he feels your fingers wrapping around his shaft as you jerk him off again.

He hisses, pulling away from the kiss, and then glances outside of the shower at his discarded pants. “I have condoms in there,” he says before meeting your gaze again. “But you deserve better than to be fucked in a shower, mmh?”

He means it. He wants to take you in his childhood bed, to feel your pussy wrap around his dick where the whole city lies at your feet. And even though some twisted part of him wants people to see, when you’re in his room a few moments later, he asks, “Do you want me to close the curtains?”

“You think people can see us?” you let out, glancing at the windows.

“Maybe if they’re looking up here,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s never bothered me, but I’ve never been with anyone in this bed, so…”

Your gaze widens in surprise, and it’s a comically cute expression on your features. “You’ve never fucked here?”

He realizes the confession too late, and he scratches the back of his neck, his cheeks burning. “I’ve never brought a girl here at all.”

You let out a laugh. “I’m sorry what?” 

All he can do is wink at you, eyes going down your frame. They stop on your perked nipples, sitting so prettily on your chest he wants to touch them, to have them in his mouth again. 

“You’re the first girl who’s ever come here,” he says. “The first I’ll fuck in this bed.” Lust clouds his thoughts again, heating up his blood and making his dick twitch. “And maybe I do want the city to see me fucking you. I want them to see how beautiful you are when you come.”

A few steps towards you is enough for him to kiss you again, savagely, his desire for you getting the best of him. He pushes you back towards the bed, up until you fall, looking up at him. 

“I’ll be right back.”

He goes to retrieve the condom from his wallet, and he makes sure it’s safe to use on the way back. A moment later he’s putting it on his dick, eyes trailing to you when he’s done. He steps closer to you, kneeling between your thighs as you spread your legs wide open for him. Your pussy shines from your arousal, and he has half a thought that he wants to taste you again, though he needs you on him before.

“Already?” he teases you as he strokes himself slowly, mindlessly, at the sight of your spread thighs. “I thought you’d need a little bit of foreplay before.”

“Trust me,” you let out. “I’m already wet enough for you to rearrange my guts.”

He knows. He can see it, and it’s so hot he might burst into flame right then and there. 

He moves closer to you, rubbing his dick on your folds to collect your juices. “You are.” He aims for your clit, smirking as your mouth falls open, your eyelids fluttering shut. “So you want me to fuck you? To rearrange your guts?”

“Jungkook…”

The sound of his name in that breathy tone of yours almost makes him come on the spot.

He pushes his tip in, stopping himself there. “Tell me what you want, peach.”

“I want you,” you say in a whiny whisper.

“Where?” he asks, and he pulls out to rub on your clit again.

You reach for his dick, and Jungkook grabs your hand, pinning your wrist over your head. “Be nice, mmh?”he says in your ear, and then he straightens again.

“I want you inside of me, Jungkook.”

“Yeah?” He pushes in, stopping with just the tip in again. Even then you still feel heavenly, and he knows the sex tonight will be amazing. “Like this?”

“Fuck, stop teasing,” you grumble.

Jungkook laughs, but he too is done with the teasing, needing you more than he needs oxygen. He slams home, pushing all the way in until he feels his balls hitting your ass. You moan, and he wants to give you time to adjust, wants to be gentle with you, yet he’s possessed by lust. Indeed, he grabs your waist, and he starts pounding into you almost right away, establishing a wild rhythm of skin slapping against skin.

Your walls clench around him, the friction so good on his dick he imagines just how good it would be without the condom on. 

He bends down slightly, aiming for a better angle, and you moan loudly, indicating that he’s reached his goal. You say his name, and this time he bends down all the way, leaning on an elbow. He holds your shoulders in place so that his thrusts don’t push you back on the bed, and then he’s jackhammering into you again, his bed starting to bang into the wall.

You’re a whiny moaning mess underneath him, and when your nails dig into the skin of his back, Jungkook grunts. His pace doesn’t falter, not when he thinks he’s in nirvana, and though sweat is clinging to his forehead, he never stops.

“Shit, peach,” he curses, and then he pulls out. He wants to see your ass, to feel the way that his pelvis hits it whenever he pushes in, and so he spins you around, and you let out a surprised sound as he repositions himself over you.

His dick rests between your ass cheeks for a fraction of a second before he pulls away enough to align it with your entrance, and then he’s pushing in again. He doesn’t move right away, instead massaging your ass, loving the way it feels in his hands.

You have the best ass he’s ever seen. He slaps it, admiring the way the skin tinges with red, and you push your hips back into him, seeking friction.

“You want some control, mmh?” he asks, and he pulls back to give you some, watching as you start fucking yourself on him, his dick going in and out of you in a relentless race, coming out covered with your juices each time. He hits your cervix, and you roll your hips. It’s almost enough to make him come again, but he holds it in, not wanting this to end already.

“You’re so big,” you let out. “So deep.”

He curses. “And you take me so well, peach.” He slaps your ass again, massaging the sting away. “Like your pussy was made for me.”

“It was.”

Damn right it was. You’re his - no matter what happens, you have to be his in the end.

He thrusts once, so hard the bed slides on the floor, and you rock forward, though he holds you in place.

“Good girl,” he says in a low, husky voice, and then he goes back to pounding into you as you clutch the sheets. 

This time, he’s determined to make you come, and he leans on one hand, wrapping his free hand under you, blindly searching for your clit. He knows he found it the second you moan unabashedly loudly, and he rubs on it in quick circles as he keeps fucking you, your pussy growing impossibly tight. A few snaps of his hips later and you’re coming around him, your walls pulsing on his dick so devilishly good he lets out a moan.

You, on the other hand, have been moaning since you started coming, and it just keeps on coming as your back arches into him, your legs twitching. He milks it out of you, slowing down to help you ride the wave, and when you finally calm down, he stops, pressing a feathersoft kiss on the side of your face.

“You came hard.”

“Holy fuck,” you curse.

He chuckles. “One day, I want to feel you come on my dick without a condom on.”

The mental image that it gives him unleashes him completely, and he rams into you, chasing his own high. It almost hits when he feels you coming again, yet for some reason, he can’t climax, his orgasm evading him. He pulls out then, flipping you on your back, and then he’s kissing you, pushing back into you.

He establishes a slower, deeper rhythm, his lips never leaving yours. Your hands get lost in his hair, and you pull on the strands just enough to hurt a little. He loves it more than he’d admit it, the pain setting his nerves alight with desire, and his balls tighten, a sign that he’s finally nearing his high.

You wrap your legs around his waist, and he hits deeper then, the drag of you on his dick so completely perfect he knows he’ll finally be able to come.

More than that, he knows he’ll never be able to fuck anyone else again.

“I’ll fall in love with your pussy,” he whispers against your lips.

He means more. He means you, in your entirety, but he’s not stupid enough to say it, not when it would probably scare you away.

He rests his forehead against yours, and your grip on him tightens.

“JK…”

“Peach,” he echoes. He kisses you again, all the while fucking you slow. Once he pulls away from the kiss, he straightens, going back to kneeling between your legs. “Now be nice and let me come, mmh?”

You smirk, your blown wide pupils finding his. “Come for me.”

Fuck.

“On it.”

He’s close. He’s so fucking close all he can do is pound his hips into yours, watching you as you moan, your nails digging in his thighs. He nears his high like the crescendo of a song, and then he explodes, his motions growing sloppy as his dick twitches and twitches. He releases his load in the condom the second he pushes deep inside of you and he stills there, cursing and grunting as he comes.

He doesn’t move for a while, just enjoying the feeling of your pussy around him, and then he pulls out, lying next to you. You’re visibly fucked out, and he’s proud of himself for it - he hopes no one’s ever fucked you like he fucks you.

His hand rests on your stomach, and you slowly regain your breath. Jungkook feels the need to clean himself - the feeling of his dick swimming in his cum growing uncomfortable - and so he kisses the side of your face, going to the bathroom. He quickly cleans up, needing to be back with you as soon as he can. He walks back to the bedroom with a wet washcloth, and he lets you clean yourself as he looks outside, admiring the way the rain on the windows distort the lights of the city.

You go to the bathroom, and Jungkook settles in bed as he waits for you to come back. 

“Come here,” he says as he opens his arms for you to come cuddle.

You do so, pushing one leg between his as you wrap an arm around his waist. He feels content, perfectly so, his heart so full and warm in his chest he feels like maybe he’s born again. Maybe he didn’t live before you, and you blew life into his lungs, into his heart and soul.

He’s falling hard. So hard, and though he should be scared, he finds he isn’t, not when he’s falling for you.

There’s nothing scary about falling in love with you.

Read chapter eight here!

☆☆☆☆☆

soooo how did you guys like it?? jk is so in love with her, help :')

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate

[zerobaseonefics]

winning is not always coming first ㅡ mun junghyun

mun junghyun x reader

requested : comforting mun junghyun after the elimination.

genre : fluff, just a little bit of angst.

words : 1,016.

warning : mention of food!!

it was midnight when mun junghyun was walking through the alley of the convenient store near where you lived. he looked at the products they bought, picking some of them to satisfy his hunger.

even on the outside, anyone could have felt the weight of his own thoughts on his shoulders. the elimination was yesterday, and the episode wasn't aired yet, so he had to make sure no one recognized him. the hood of his sweat shirt was on, a black cap hiding his face a bit more. his mother insisted on him wearing a mask too, but he just shrugged. wasn't it too much? people wouldn't recognize him, he wasn't popular enough, he thought.

junghyun decided he choose enough things to buy, making his way to the checkout to pay. there was no one in the shop, except for him and the cashier. at least, that's what he thought, because when he put his purchase on the table for the cashier to check them, some more products were added by hands well known to him.

he turned his face to find you on his side, taking out your credit card to pay your food and his. while the cashier was putting all of those in a bag, you turned to junghyun and smiled to him without a word. you crossed your right arm with junghyun's left arm, your other arm taking the bag full of your purchase. he sighed. right, if someone could recognize if from afar, it's surely his best friend. you.

"i didn't except you to come here that fast", he said while you gently dragged him to the corner of the store where you could eat.

"of course i'd come fast! it's been a while since i saw you."

"you didn't have to pay, you know."

"shh."

you made him sit on one of the chairs. he watch you as you took the food out of the bag. he admired that smile still on your face, while you were opening the bag of his favorite chips, before giving it to him.

"are you not gonna talk about it ?" he asked.

"about what ? oh, that's true! you're blonde now! to be honest when i saw that on tv i kinda laughed because you really looked like an idol and-"

"i'm talking about the fact i'm eliminated."

"oh, that."

you were still standing next to him while he was sat, not looking at you anymore.

"i thought you wouldn't want to talk about it. you know, i always have to shake you for you to talk about your feelings. but i figured it'd be better if i wait for you to be ready."

"i don't know. i also felt like i wanted to keep it to myself this time. but, i kinda want to talk about it."

he was facing the table, so he didn't see you sneakily going behind him. your arms made their way around his torso as you hugged him from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder.

"well, now that i'm here i can listen to whatever you want to tell me about."

he was glad you couldn't see his face in this position, otherwise, you would have see is red cheeks and discover the feelings he had for you.

"are you... disappointed in me?" he asked.

"why would i be?"

"you were so happy when i told you i was going to that show, and you were sure i was going to win. when they said i was eliminated, i was afraid you won't see my skills in a great light."

"winning is not always coming first, you know? i don't think you exactly lost."

"coming first is the literal definition of winning, y/n..."

"no, it's not. winning is gaining something, progressing, relating to any kind of victory. you were able to perform in front of your first fans twice, you made friends, you met people you admired, you've gotten better... you won, in a way."

"so you're not disappointed in me?"

"are you disappointed in yourself?"

junghyun didn't reply. you held him thigher as he felt his heart skipping a bit. yes, he surely missed his "best friend". still holding him with one arm, your free hand went to grab his.

"i'm not disappointed in you, okay? i'll never be. i'm proud of you, you did so well. i hope you'll grow into realizing you did very good and you gained the heart of many people. plus, it's probably not going to stop, right?" you're not giving up on your dreams?"

he shook his head to tell you he won't give up.

"right! you better not, okay? you have to debut and make me meet lee seunghwan" you said jokingly. suddenly, he turned to face you, making you let go of him.

"lee seunghwan??"

"lee seunghwan!" you replied cheerfully.

"you... like him? i mean, was he your first pick?"

"isn't he hot?"

junghyun opened a box of biscuits, throwing one in your mouth to make you shut up.

"i'll never let you talk to seunghwan. dumbass."

you ate the biscuit, before sitting next to him.

"why?"

"i'm supposed to be your favorite!"

"i never said he was."

"well, i'm surely more good loking than him."

"hm, not sure about that. let me take a look at your face, it's been a while."

you took out his hood, then his cap, putting it on the table. gently, your hand went to his chin, examining his face. a smirk slowly crept to your face as you saw the embarassement on his. he was silent.

"hm. it's true you're good looking."

your hand went to ruffle his hair, making him complain.

"and the blonde is making you even more handsome."

he scoffed, putting his cap and his hood back on his head.

"are you flirting with me, y/n?"

"i don't know if we can be just friends now that you're blonde..." you said half joking. he laughed, making you feel relieved that he finally felt better.

"then i'll work hard to debut so you won't look at seunghwan anymore."

[lilly-chou-chou]

(Tw: s3icide and d3ath mention)

I actually do not know where to begin with this because his passing has impacted so many people around the globe. I hope his family, members and friends take as long time as it takes for them to heal from this. When things like this happen we realize how much we take life for granted, it really does make sense when people say things like "resolve things now, who knows if tomorrow you or them will live to see another day"

There are times when things are really difficult and you don't know what to do or how to reach out to others and I want you all to know that it is not your fault. You did your best.

As the years went by I never liked this saying "d3ad people recive more flowers than living" it really made me angry and infuriated me because it is was so unkind and horrible thing to say. I never saw things like that, I always saw it as "they were truly loved and cherished a lot that is why they're getting a lot of flowers" it doesn't matter how they passed on, I always believed that in after life they will get their desired peace and these flowers will build a path for them to look after their loved ones in a different way.

In the the topic of same light I did come across this tumblr post which said "no ones will care about him after few weeks, it always works like this people don't care" can we stop doing this? Because it's so horirble and absolutely worst thing to do. Fans and sometimes even people close to idols have no idea how they are actually doing, as I said Moonbin's situation was a huge shock to all of us. We will never forget about Moonbin, Junghyun, Sulli and Hara. We always remember him. To this every I can never forget 18th December, 13th October, 24th November and now 19th April. These are the dates that I still remember ever since they passed away.

Every year without fail on these days I always take a moment to remember them, we have never forgotten them, we still talk about them. When we talk about them instead of their passing we choose to talk about their happy moments they spent on earth, we choose to talk and discuss about their iconic jokes inside the fandom, their fashion sense, their amazing talents and how ever so they treated their fans and loved ones so kindly.

Talking about someone who has passed on isn't just limited to talking about their d3ath, their lives spent on this earth is also a topic we should talk about more. I still think about Jonghyun's that one video where his mum was calling him after concert and he ever so sweetly said "please wait mum, I am coming", Sulli's extravagant and beautiful loud laugh, Hara's mesmerizing stage presence and now Moonbin's debut with Astro, it's crazy how young Moonbin looked in Hide&Seek I still remember watching the MV when their debuted getting excited about debut of a new group and I couldn't keep off my eyes off of them, they all shined so well.

I hope now Moobin rests well after becoming a star in the sky, when you feel down just look up in the sky and I hope you know there are 4 stars are are shining bright and beautiful telling you "it's okay, don't worry there is always another day"

[beautifulpersonpeach]

What are your thoughts on hyuna seemingly announcing a relationship with someone connected with the burning sun scandal? My understanding is that, though he wasn't convicted of the worst crimes involved in burning sun, he admitted to watching some of the videos sent to him and would comment on them, but I also heard that he still performs around Korea sometimes. This is just bizarre to see from hyuna imo. (Apparently he also used to date goo hara, who was one of hyuna's friends. This isn't as yucky to me as it seems to be to some people, because I think mutual grief can be a uniting thing, and it's not unheard of for relationships to come from it even if it seems disrespectful from an outsider's perspective.)

***

When I first saw her post I had no real thoughts about it - while dating someone even tangentially involved in that nonsense is distasteful, her dating life is her business and I know neither Junhyung nor Hyuna personally - but I knew this news would inevitably lead to the next juicy bit for kpop stans to sensationalize and blow up into a scandal. There’s nothing k-pop stans love more than cancelling an idol or group. It’s a like a group project where everyone can get easy bonus participation marks on.

And sure enough, the minute someone posted her Instagram update on Twitter, it led to hundreds of thousands of tweets, blog posts, discussion topics on all platforms about how Hyuna manipulated her ‘fanbase of feminists’ and lovebombed Dawn into sabotaging his career; cynical declarations about how k-pop idols are most likely bad people (all that fame and fortune corrupts their morality) and it’s only a matter of time before they show their true colours; and Junghyun, for all his faults, has gone from someone who watched a molka video sent to him, to a rape apologist, a rapist, a convicted sex offender, a predator and so on.

It’s fine if people are disappointed she’s dating a creep, the problem is k-pop stans never really leave it at that. In HyunA’s case I’d noticed many of her stans have been upset with her for the last couple of years now, wondering the direction she’s taking post-P Nation and being mostly disappointed in her artistic output recently. And you can see it in the lacklustre response her music has gotten increasingly since then. Any sympathy she had from most of her fans evaporated when she and Dawn broke up. This business with Junhyung seems to me to be the final nail in the coffin, and a pretty good reason for people who were already falling out of love with her to finally write her off.

In reality, people do grow and it’s possible Junhyung learned something from that scandal and now is a better man. It’s possible their shared grief and history with GH bonded them over the years. It’s possible HyunA’s in a terrible place mentally right now and he’s providing healthy or unhealthy support. And it’s possible HyunA is simply a bad person who isn’t a ‘girl’s girl’, and has no qualms dating someone who still has predatory views about women. The beauty of k-pop stan logic is that it’s only the last possibility that’s assumed to be true. Coincidentally that’s also the only possibility that justifies the kind of reactions k-pop stans are prone to dishing out anyway.

A thought experiment I played with a few friends, was what the fallout would be if she announced she was dating Zico instead. Zico apparently didn’t watch any molka videos because there was no evidence he was sent any, but he knew Joonyoung and admitted to knowing about the ‘golden phone’ at the heart of the Burning Sun scandal. I wonder what the takes would be then if she made a dating announcement with Zico… but a part of me kinda already knows.

Anyway, a few of HyunA’s fansites have closed and some people on the k-side are just as upset as those on the I-side. Most other people on the k-side don’t care though. In fact, the understanding is that after Dawn and now Junhyung, it’s likely she dumps him within the year and moves on to someone else before long. Because rather than HyunA’s brand being ‘feminism’ as is wrongly assumed on the I-side, all she’s ever been consistent about is doing what she wants.

And I don’t think that’s going to change. All this backlash and outrage notwithstanding.

[rosinbae]

attention ⋆ insanely in love

◜✧◞ PAIRING ─ kim taerae x male!reader

◜✧◞ SYNOPSIS ─ ever since he can remember, jang y/n has always had a crush on park hanbin. every other day he simply couldn't help but giggle and kick his feet at the sight of him, but now as his senior year begins, he finds his feelings for someone else, specifically his best friend kim taerae, to be much stronger than any feelings he could have had for park hanbin.

◜✧◞ LINKS ─ masterlist | next

for the longest time ever, jang y/n has had the absolute biggest crush on park hanbin.

the two of them have been friends since they were kids, since they were neighbors, and oh shit as soon y/n saw him he simply—fell—like all he could do was keep falling and there was no stopping.

it's funny, actually, how he's so obvious with his crush, a crush that has been ongoing for almost his whole entire life and hanbin still has yet to notice, y/n is honestly frustrated.

still, his frustration withers away every time he sees hanbin smile, or his dimples, or hear him tell a stupid joke that he'll laugh at in a matter of seconds.

he's simply stuck in a loop, a loop of being in love with someone who doesn't love him back.

how very unfortunate.

"y/n, are you even paying attention?"

y/n blinks, his mind racing. he turns to the source of the voice, and is met with a very annoyed kim taerae, who scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"what?" he asks, having no idea on what the context was for the current situation.

"too busy ogling at park hanbin" lee jeonghyeon comments, not absentmindedly because he laughs at y/n's circumstances as he says those words.

"i wasn't!" he immediately rebuts, turning away as he feels taerae's judgmental gaze. "i was.. um uh— zoning out!"

"yeah zoning out on park hanbin's—"

"shut up junghyun!"

the younger holds his hands up as if to surrender, smiling cheekily at y/n as he feels jeonghyeon pinch him in the waist, a small yelp emitting from him as he does so.

taerae scoffs as he watches his friends, looking at y/n through his peripheral vision. "you don't have to lie y/n, how long have you even had a crush on him at this point?"

taerae had also been y/n's friend since they were kids, the two of them were so close people asked if they were dating almost every other week, the only answer they know they'd receive is a no from y/n whilst taerae just shakes his head.

but they definitely seem more compatible than y/n and hanbin..

taerae has always been vocal about his love for y/n, they're just friends! nothing new, he treats all of his friends like how he treats y/n—

but that technically isn't true with all of the extra amounts of affection he makes sure to give him..

they can't be anything other than friends, taerae knows about his absolutely insane crush on park hanbin and won't interfere with that, even if his feelings aren't exactly platonic.

just like how hanbin is oblivious to y/n's obvious crush on him, y/n is oblivious to whatever else taerae may be feeling about him..

what an interesting situation!

"i know.." he mutters, and taerae covers his face with his hand as he laughs. "i just— it's kind of getting ridiculous, you know? i've had a crush on this man for a whole decade now and all he's done is give me a fake 'i love you back'!"

"can't you just tell him?"

"i did! kinda! twice! and he laughed! apparently he thought i was joking!"

taerae blinks, a small chuckle leaving his lips as his mind drifts off to the thought. "you know what? that's a super park hanbin characteristic".

"right?" y/n responds. "he's just so—agh! i hate that he doesn't notice my love but i also love him too much to do anything about it".

the words hit taerae in a place, he feels a little weird as he hears those words. he loves him too much to do anything about it.. he feels his heart sting as he takes them in.

why does he feel jealous? he shouldn't. his best friend loves someone else and he respects that.

though he could definitely treat him so much better..

still, taerae keeps his mouth shut, not letting out any of his thoughts just in case he says something he may regret.

he still has that weird feeling, though, it just won't go away.

◜✧◞ TAGS (open):

@jinkiseason, @big-uwu-stan, @harus-simp, @zerobaseonefics, @hwangsm1le

[rieeeeestufffff]

[JEALOUS CLASS PRESIDENT]

part 2

pairing: college student!S.hanbin x college student f!reader.

genre: fluff, little curse

wc: 1.8k

synopsis: y/n and s.hanbin finally decided to confess on the same day and the same time.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Y/N POV

It's been a week since s.hanbin sent me home and after that day s.hanbin and i became close to what my friends already noticed.

"sooo care to explain why are you two together AGAIN?"p.hanbin asked suspiciously looking at me..his strict mother figure is out again..

"we just saw each other on the way here that's it"i said as we walked towards the cafeteria to meet our other friends.

"sure?"he asked and i sigh and look at him.

"yes hundred percent sure Park Hanbin"i said even his full name...i wish leejeong is here so that he can stop p.hanbin why does he need to be absent today...

"fine and no need to say my full name gosh"he sassily answered me then we entered the cafeteria.

"Y/n!Park Hanbin!"We looked around and we saw our friends then we went to their place.

"Hi bestie!"i said to woongki then hug him.

"what do you want to eat?"p.hanbin asked as we sat down, i'm sitting in between him and seowon oppa.

"ahmm as usual"i said, he nodded then went to buy our food.

"he has a boyfriend material vibe"woongki pointed out as they observed p.hanbin and we agreed.

"yeah i don't even know why y/n noona doesn't have a crush on Hyung" Haruto said while eating.

"y/n you didn't have a crush on p.hanbin even a little?"seowon oppa asked and i shook my head.

"why?"he asked and the others leaned forward to listen.

"because he's into guys not girls"i said making the table quiet for a second then suddenly woongki stand up.

"a-are you for real?"he asked and i nodded.

"then the thing we saw at that time was real and not an imagination?"he said making the table quiet again..that thing?...

"what do you mean?"i asked a little confused and then woongki sigh then sat again.

"3 days ago we don't know if it was p.hanbin or not but we saw him with a guy at the blooming cafe.The guy he's with also looks familiar"he explains and i nodded...so they still don't know about p.hanbin and leejeong...

"that's my boyfriend"we all flinched when we heard someone speak behind me.

"since when hyung?"junghyun asked then they looked at him waiting for an answer.

"2 years"p.hanbin said then give me my food,as i thanked him the rest of them stopped moving.

"you guys didn't notice that whenever he's with us p.hanbin is not talkative"i gave a hint in order for them to find out who i'm talking about.

"no we didn't"seungeon said with a look of confusion and the rest nodded.

"Do you want to tell them?"i asked p.hanbin since it's about his relationship not mine.

"wait let's call him"he said then pull out his phone to call his boyfriend.

[]-his boyfriend, ""-p.hanbin

ring...ring...ring...ring...ring...rin-

ON CALL.

[Hello?]

"Hi love i need to ask you something"

[what is it?]

"our friends know that i have a boyfriend and they want to know who, so i called you"

"can you put it on the speaker so we can hear him" Seungeon said impatiently and i chuckled at them, P.hanbin nodded.

[it's okay for me to tell them about us as long as it's okay with you]

"I'm okay with it so you tell them instead btw i'll put you on speaker"

[okay, Hi guys]

"no way?!"woongki exclaimed, me and p.hanbin chuckled at his reaction.

"you and leejeong?!"seowon oppa said still shocked by the news.

[yeah guys it's me, sorry we didn't tell you earlier we're still just not ready]

"we understand leejeong hyung but how did y/n noona know?" -ollie

[she caught us]

"it's leejeongs fault why y/n caught us" -p.hanbin

[how is it my fault?]

"because you can't keep your hands to yourself!" -p.hanbin

"okay before the two of you fought on whose fault it is let's go to class" -y/n

[bye guys goodluck!]

"bye leejeong!bye hyung!,bye bye"

END CALL

we left the cafeteria after we talked to him.On the way to our building i saw s.hanbin talking to his group of friends..he looks like an angel...

3RD POV

p.hanbin noticed that his friend is being quiet so he checked if his friend was still alive and he saw her zoning out while walking then he looked where she was looking...i knew it..should i mess with her a bit?..he thought then he did this.

P.HANBIN POV

i slap y/n on her arm not too hard but not too light then she snapped out on her thoughts making us stop from walking.

"yah!! what was that for?!"she exclaimed while rubbing her arm, i can see that s.hanbin and his friend look at us.

"nothing"i said and smiled at her. She looks like she wants to beat me so i start walking leaving her behind..i did it HAHAHA s.hanbin might be jealous right now...

then without a warning y/n slap my arm hard that it would leave a mark.. it hurt f*ck but i need to endure it for them...

"you dolphin you could have just shake me not slap my arm, it's hurt you know"she said and i just laughed at her making her slap my arm again.

S.HANBIN POV

as i talked to my friends we heard a shout not too far from us we looked at the shout then i saw her with her friend again.. i feel jealous again...

"hyung stopped clenching your fist"i snapped out then looked at Matthew and then at my hand.I sigh and shook my head.

"didn't know that the sung hanbin can be like this"i glared at hao hyung but he just laughed at me..i'm shocked at myself too...

"why don't you just confess to her" Hao Hyung said and i looked at her again.. she has a beautiful smile..

"I'm not ready"i said then looked at my watch.

"aishh hyung you're so slow, you should do it before someone will"yujin frustratedly said as he ate his food I looked at them confusedly.

"someone?"i asked then i sat down.

"yeah we overheard a group of students talking in the locker room yesterday"gyuvin said while playing with gunwook..who could it be?..

"they said if not later after class then maybe tomorrow after class their friend will confess to y/n"taerae said.. should i confess to her?..

"we just want you to know hanbin so that you can think about it we're not pressuring you"hao hyung said and i nodded..what if it's p.hanbin?...

"let's go, class will start in a minute"i said and we all walked towards our perspective rooms.

as i entered the room with taerae my eyes immediately landed on her, we made eye contact again.

..i'll confess to you later...i thought before sitting in my place.

Y/N POV

as s.hanbin and taerae went inside the room, s.hanbin and i had eye contact...i've decided that i'll confess to him later...

since the professor is still not here i talked to p.hanbin about my confession to s.hanbin later.

"dolphin"i started and he looked at me.

"yes?"he asked then i took a deep breath.

"I'm going to confess to him later"i said and he became excited, he's being weird again.

"wait really?!as in for real!?"i nodded and then he pulled out his phone maybe to tell the others.

"and sent,so... if you're going to confess go to the garden after class then the rest will be in our hands"he said as he didn't stop talking about how he is so proud that his daughter finally has the guts to confess.

TIME SKIP...

after class i went straight to the garden and waited there..if he rejects me then move on that's it...i can do it..i can do it...i can do it...i can do it..

"y/n?"i immediately turn around when i hear his voice.. I'm nervous omg!!!...

"Hi"i said and told him to sit next to me.

"p.hanbin said that you want to meet me here"he said and i nodded because i can't trust my mouth for now.

i took a deep breath before looking at him.

"ahmm i have to tell you something"i started and maybe he saw how nervous i am so he took both of my hands and held them.

"i also have something to tell you but first calm yourself okay?"i nodded and calmed myself Then I looked at him straight into his eyes.

"i've been keeping this to myself for so long and i can't take this anymore"i said and held his hands tightly, He patiently waited for me.

"Sung Hanbin I like you"as i said those words i close my eyes But he just chuckled at me.

"why did you close your eyes? open them"he said and held my cheeks.I opened my eyes and the first thing i saw was he's beautiful smile.

"there, i really thought that you like park hanbin"he stated then I looked at him confusedly.

"why would you think that?"i asked him.

"because the two of you are always together there is even one time i thought that the two of you are in a relationship"i laughed at him when he said that, yeah me and p.hanbin are always together.

"y/n l/n i like you too"when he said that i hug him then he also hugged me back.

"I really thought that you would reject me"i said and he asked why.

"because there are a lot of girls that are much prettier than me"as i said that he looked at me.

"But no one is much prettier than you"he said making me blush. Then suddenly we heard a noise near the entrance of the garden.

we looked over there and we saw our friends cheering.

"Finally! they're together"they all scream making some of the students look in our direction.

"you guys stop it"i said and they all went to us. woongki and haruto hug me while crying i started laughing because of them.

"why are guys crying"i said between my laugh they're crying as if i'm leaving them.

"because we're just happy that you finally confess to your crush"Woongki said as he finally let go of me.

"take care of her very well if you make her cry we'll be after you"seowon oppa said and s.hanbin nodded still holding my hands.

I smiled at him as i caught him looking at me then he mouthed 'i love you' and i mouthed back 'i love you too'.

"let's go all of us, we're going to eat outside my treat"p.hanbin said and they all cheered.

s.hanbin and i ride his car only the two of us.As we drove off s.hanbin held my hands through out the day.

i hope we stay to love each other and stay together forever...

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

[yamsdiary]

🦁📰 Kim Junghyun’s reflections on his acting career, personal challenges, and future goals.

"...if you work until you die..." Kim Junghyun Dreams of Acting

Reporter Park Hae Jin [ⓓ인터뷰] "죽을 때까지 노력하면"...김정현이 꿈꾸는 연기 | 디스패치 | 뉴스는 팩트다! (dispatch.co.kr)

Kim Junghyun is a natural born actor. I knew it the moment I met him. There wasn't the smirking Gu Seungjun of <Crash Landing on You> or the cranky Cheon Suho of <Time>.

Instead, there was the serious Kim Junghyun. When I realized that his characters were strictly acting, and when he spoke of his confidence in acting, I thought to myself.

'This is someone who should be an actor.'

I asked him why he became an actor. He gave a simple answer.

"I enjoy the moment of acting. I'm happy to be able to act, it makes me hopeful."

Kim Junghyun made his presence felt in tvN's <Crash Landing on You>. He made viewers laugh and cry with his hateful yet lovable, cheerful yet heartbreaking performance. 

He kept the center of attention among the big actors. No matter who he was paired with, there was no awkwardness. He created narrative and chemistry with each of them.

Kim Junghyun, who on earth is this actor? 

Dreaming of being an 'actor'

Actually, Kim Junghyun is a late bloomer*. In 2012, he made his screen debut in the short film <I'll Be with You>.

[*T/N: humble beginnings, but great endings]

Since then, he's been acting wherever he can. Theaters, musicals, movies, and dramas. He doesn't discriminate between genres.  

"I saw the play <In the Smoke> and it made me want to be an actor. I cried a lot, and that's when I realized that I had the question mark (in my mind), which made me think about acting again."

Your acting career also started with theater. In 2013, you first appeared on the theater stage in <Thérèse Raquin>. But wait, what is the 'question mark' in your mind?

"I realized that acting is a precious thing where you can give and receive emotions from people. The idea of sharing new experiences was fascinating to me."

That's when he started to pursue acting in earnest.

Everybody has ups and downs

In 2015, he made his professional debut with movie <Overman> and was recognized by critics. He continued to gain recognition with each work, making his mark with <Jealousy Incarnate>, <Rebel>, <School 2017>, and more.

But there were also bumps in the road. When he dropped out of <Time> due to a sleep disorder and eating disorder, he was criticized for it. 

"I felt like I neglected myself. It was a time of deceiving, betraying, and beating myself up. I stopped loving myself. My self-esteem dropped, and my anxiety grew."

He didn't want to fall apart. He dropped everything and went back to the beginning. "I spent a year and five months recovering my body and mind. I've built a lot of mental muscle* as an actor."

[*T/N: willpower; perseverance, judgment, system of thought, exploration, impulse control, goal setting, and other mental traits]

It was acting, after all, that got him back on his feet.

"I always had the desire to act (in my heart). I had a lot of desire to work."

Acting became more precious to him during his break. "I became more focused on the present moment and enjoying it. I'm in a better state of mind to look at my surroundings."

Crash Landing on You

He put his heartfelt feelings into <Crash Landing on You>. Whether it was a lead role or a supporting role, it didn't matter. For Kim Junghyun, it weighed the same. He was grateful to just be able to act.

"I tried to enjoy the moment of acting, no matter if I was on set or reading the script, because I know it's important to do my best with what I can do now."

Kim Junghyun plays Gu Seungjun, a fraudster. His (life's) purpose is money and revenge. He didn't have the love of his parents. However, he was a pure man in front of love. He's a character with a wide range of emotions. 

"The most important thing was to maintain the position. I thought that if North Korea had Pyo Chisoo (played by Yang Kyungwon) and the crew, Seungjun should create that atmosphere in South Korea."

Kim Junghyun slept with the script by his bedside. He studied the script until he closed his eyes, and then acted it out; a not too serious, yet hilarious Seungjun.

He had his own way of speaking the North Korean dialect. "The dialect changes depending on the interpretation of the lines, and I just caught the nuances and put them into Seungjun's words."

The acting in <Crash Landing on You>

He gave the four-angle romance three-dimensional feel*. Though he didn't have much screen time, his acting was dynamic. It even captured the growth of one character.

[*T/N: given depth and realism; the acting has a realistic and deep feeling.]

"The writer did a good job of showing the inflection points of growth. Seungjun gave Seri (played by Son Yejin) a certain intentionality, and gave Dan (played by Seo Jihye) a more humanized approach. There was a clear temperature difference."

The crying scene in episode 15, for instance. When North Korean children sing, 'I'm a poor orphan,’ Seungjun sobs to himself. It's the first time his inner self comes out.

"The situation of being chased by danger, being alone in a hiding place... I was thinking about how Seungjun must have felt in that place. My heart ached a lot. I realized that he must have been desperate."

Kim Junghyun had his own input. "I wanted Seungjun to show emotion in this scene, and I thought it would be a turning point in his life."

The same goes for the shooting scene in which he jokingly says, ‘I’ve been doing some clay shooting in South Korea.’ The scene is even more poignant because he did it with a light chuckle. This was also Junghyun's idea. 

"It felt right. My primary purpose was to reassure Dan. I was thinking about her right up until the moment I died. It's memorable."

Revisiting the 'actor' dream

There is a certain ease to his performance. He is quick but relaxed, he is light but has weight. What makes him so flexible is his unwavering effort (to act). 

"It's like a swan on a lake, you need to paddle your legs vigorously to look relaxed. Even when you're acting, the action is (actually) going on inside."

"I ask myself, 'what keywords is this line influenced by?' or 'what purpose is it serving?' When you have a clear idea, you're less likely to get stuck (in practice)."

When asked about his next project, he said, "I haven't decided on a stage (to act), be it a movie, a drama, or a theater. I would love to get together with some of my favorite people and do some performances."

Recently, he's been studying English for two reasons: acting and writing. "If I get better at English, there will be more works that I can come across, and I want to experience and convey various kinds of acting."

However, Kim Junghyun has only completed one (series) episode. He plans to follow the path he's been given without hesitation. Once again, he's dreaming of becoming an actor. 

"I see where I'm still lacking, and I have a desire to grow, rather than just run in circles. I'm eager to share new experiences in any conversational way I can."

And one last thing.

"If you work until you die, won't you be able to fulfill that dream?"

ㅡㅡㅡ

Translated by @deeliciouskjh. Do not modify it in whole or in part. All errors are mine, constructive feedback is welcome.

[btsqualityy]

Heeelllo! I’m asking for Pluse chaotic interactions! Writers choice on what they do! I love them! Thanks!

Another anon also said: Pulse doing a vlive Jinhae and Jaejin crashes it!

"So since our promotions for World are winding down, we thought we'd answer some questions from our precious heartbeats," Hojin smiled as all five members leaned forward in order to try and read the comments that were flooding the chat.

"Who is World about?" Jaewon smirked. "I think you guys could just about guess."

"It's about Brooklyn, obviously," Kyumin laughed.

"Hey, it's not my fault that I'm in love," Dae-sung huffed playfully.

"The question you guys should be asking is which of our loves songs aren't about Brooklyn?" Junghyun joked.

"Please, like you haven't written a handful either," Dae-sung shot back, making Junghyun glare at him.

"Speaking of Brooklyn," Hojin read from the screen. "When are we going to be able to see Jaejin and Jinhae more often? I bet they are so cute."

"They definitely are," Kyumin boasted. "The cutest things you've ever seen in your life."

"To answer that question though, their mother prefers to keep them out of the spotlight," Dae-sung explained. "We both want them to have a normal childhood and that's the best way to do so. You guys do see them sometimes though."

"Knock knock," a voice suddenly called out and when all of the members looked over, they saw Brooklyn walking inside with Jinhae bouncing in front of her and Jaejin perched on her hip.

"Hey, there's our boys!" Jaewon cheered, laughing when Jinhae bounded over to him and jumped up into his arms.

"You guys spoke them up," Dae-sung chuckled at the camera before he turned his attention to his fiancée and children. "You guys are early."

"I know but the boys wanted to see their uncles," Brooklyn giggled, stepping over to Dae-sung and pressing a soft kiss to his lips before handing Jaejin off to him.

"Wanna say hi to heartbeats?" Kyumin asked Jaejin, who giggled and waved his chubby little hand to the camera.

"Hi," Brooklyn said as she bent down and waved to the camera.

"Heartbeats, tell Brooklyn not to whisk our sweet Dae-sungie away and do nasty things to him," Hojin smirked.

"Yeah, tell them not to make another one of these," Jewon joked as he pointed towards Jinhae, who had gone over to sit in Junghyun's lap.

"What nasty things, Mommy?" Jinhae wondered innocently and Brooklyn gave him a small smile.

"Nothing for you to worry about, my love," she replied sweetly before glaring at Hojin. "Don't make me kick your A-S-S."

"Calm down," Dae-sung said.

"Fine," Brooklyn muttered before sticking her middle finger up at Hojin which he promptly returned.

"Yeah, if you guys didn't know, Brooklyn is about that action," Kyumin laughed as he read the comments in the chat. "But we're gonna cut this live short so that you guys don't see her commit murder on live."

"Bye heartbeats!" Junghyun shouted and all five members showed finger hearts and blew kisses towards the camera before the live went off.

[justnailli]

jeon sibling goals

taglist! @neptuniees @pitchblacksmile @srtevans @jaetint @lcveseonq @fullsunncit @studioreader

masterlist ! ask or request !

clip #1 !

"i miss mom and dad. i also miss my younger sister. i felt bad for her because i have to leave her in such a young age. i am supposed to be playing with my sister so i want to go home quickly." a young jungkook said on his interview.

clip #2 !

"are you watching every i-land episodes?" eunji called her oldest brother when the four top placers were given a chance to call anyone they want to call.

it took a second for eunji's brother to answer. "of course! i even know every detail of it."

eunji laughed on her brother's response. "really? what can you say about it?"

"oh, you're amazing. it really runs on our blood." junghyun said that made eunji cracked up. "how are you there? are you having a hard time? you can tell it to oppa." he added.

"well, it's hard most of the time but i'm all good. i miss our family so much. ah, i feel like crying." eunji tried not to cry by lifting her face up.

"we also miss you, eunji. i'm really proud of seeing you striving hard to achieve your dream. whenever you're having a hard time, tell it to your friends, don't just keep it to yourself. you're really talented and great, don't forget about that." junghyun stated amidst all the bashful and hate comments eunji was receiving from other people. they were saying that eunji only survived on i-land part one because of jungkook's fame.

that moment, a tear finally escaped from eunji's eyes. she tried not to sob and replied to his brother. "i miss you so much, junghyun oppa. "

clip #3 !

"jeon eunji." jungkook read eunji's name on i-land episode 7. "woah, she has the same surname as mine."

bts and i-landers laughed at jungkook's remarks while eunji can't help but to be embarrassed.

"she's having a hard time on focusing on her training because she kept on thinking her family. she miss her family a lot that it affected her practices." v read her concerns.

"eh! i don't know they'll be reading that!" eunji covered her face in embarrassment since a family member of her are there.

"oh! as expected, eunji is so sweet!" j-hope beamed.

"ah, we all gone through that. it's normal to miss our family while training because we're not used on being away from them." rm commented.

"i think it's better to distract yourself with other things instead of thinking about your family." suga advised.

"don't worry, eunji. your oppa is already here." jin said then tapped jungkook's shoulder.

"you must missed me a lot, right?" jungkook mischievously said that made them laugh.

clip #4 !

"eunji, is really good at everything. when we're kids, we will sing and dance together at home. she's always been a talented girl." jungkook indirectly protected eunji from those whom bashing her lately in his vlive.

clip #5 !

in enhypen & hi episode one, it was seen jungkook hugging eunji and smiling proudly at her on backstage after i-land ended. eunji was crying so hard so jungkook laughed then ruffled her hair.

clip #6 !

enhypen did a vlive after kbs song festival happened last night. they talked about how they met bts there. "jungkook sunbaenim and eunji were so funny. they bowed 90 degrees to each other." jake laughed as he shared. the other members also found it funny.

"jungkook oppa was the first one to bow down to me. haha!" eunji chuckled.

clip #7 !

"oppa! happy birthday!" eunji called jungkook on his birthday while doing vlive.

"thank you~ i'm doing a vlive right now. say hello to them." jungkook placed his phone close to the camera so the viewers can hear eunji clearly.

"really? hello everyone, i'm enhypen eunji! i'll hang up now, oppa. i still have schedules to do. happy birthday again!" eunji greeted.

"okay, i understand. take care." jungkook said.

"yeah. congratulations on being half of 50 years old. don't be bald, bye~" eunji hung up the call and left jungkook speechless.

clip #8 !

"did you already saw bam?" eunji read one of the fans' comment in her vlive.

"ah, yeah, i already saw bam but only a few times. for those who don't know, bam is jungkook oppa's pet dog. he's a doberman. i think i've only personally saw him twice since oppa's schedule and mine don't match." eunji paused for a moment.

"but, he sends me a lot of bam's pictures. bam is our only topic lately, as in oppa will always message me about him. it's fine though cause bam is so cute." she giggled.

[valorkook]

The Story of Us | j.jk

pairings: jeon jungkook x fem!reader  (ft. kim taehyung near the ending)

type/warning: little fluff i guess, angst, requited to unrequited love, reincarnation AU, soulmates!AU, solo idol!AU, accidental death (overdose), mention of magic/witchcraft, incorrect depiction of history stuff

word count: 11.6k (my longest fic yet)

summary: If there was one thing you could learn from the existence of soulmates in the world is that it is dependent on the way you let your life unravel based upon the decisions you make: Whether you choose to fall once again into the scheme of destiny dictated by the heavens above or you learn from your past life and decide to let go. 

Year 18XX

Soulmates. Many children have been read by their parents or guardians the story of the first-recorded couple who told the rest of the world how we are predestined to be with someone not only in just one lifetime, but also in the next lifetime. The concept of soulmates was merely just a story people mockingly believed in until it happens to them; to your parents, and to you. 

Back when you were a child, being tucked at night by your mother you were excited to hear how she and your father met and knew they were bound for each other through every lifetimes they will have in the future, however she explained to you that though they are going to meet each other when they are reborn does not guarantee that you will be their child again. 

You remember that was your first heartbreak. Wanting to curse whoever started the soulmate connection but it will only render you to be spanked in the butt, and as an 8-year-old child you don’t want to experience that kind of pain before you sleep. The only way you can express your anger and sadness was to pout, tears from your eyes threatening to spill as your mother coddled you to sleep that night. 

Regardless, she assured you and your little mind that while they might be gone from your life when you reincarnated, your soulmate from the past will stand next to you. You and your significant other will retain the same name and the same memories once you encounter them again, and you will continue to save your memories with them throughout the next lifetime. That little knowledge you learned magically helped you sleep comfortably apart from being in the loving arms of your mother. 

It was essential to remember that night, within your dreams you walked a familiar path in Kang's manor and deep in their magnificent garden was where you found him; Doe eyes staring back at yours, and it appears that you nearly have the same height as him as both of you were still young. The most important thing you kept in your mind when you woke up from that dream was how he looked, and exactly the location of where to find him that day. 

The Kang’s estate is one of the largest houses you visited countlessly in the village, apart from your own house with your parents. The status of being the only daughter in the family made you become close with Kang Kyungmi, who has the same age as you. You two have partaken on multiple play dates and tea parties conducted by your parents as a scapegoat for them to mingle and gossip at the stone patio overlooking the Kang’s intricate hedge labyrinth and garden. There have been times where you lost your way out inside the high bushes parting into pathways and Kyungmi, bestowed with a sense of direction and intelligence at a young age, always knows where to find you before the night comes. You were deathly afraid of the dark back then.

You have another objective related to finding your soulmate as you begged your parents to visit Kyungmi the next day after the dream occured. And while the carriage being carried by the horses take their time to travel towards their manor, in the back of your mind you have already planned the pathways of the maze, hopefully be able to check its crevices and corners to find him. You can’t divulge the information to your parents that you have seen your soulmate’s face until you can prove it with your own two eyes.

Hurried greetings were given upon entry to the gates by you before you sped over at the back of their huge house, no more than two minutes and you found yourself standing at the entrance of the maze. You don’t care that your dress, albeit being immaculate white since it was purchased four days ago, gets dirtied with the soil once you entered their garden. What was once a clear sky before you left your home now turns out to be dimmed and cloudy, as if nature's provoking you to find him before the rain pours. Nevertheless you gladly took the challenge as you began to thread the high bushes and find a pathway connected to other areas of the maze. 

“Doe eyes,” was only what you could mutter as you turned every corner until you saw the same angle of the tree branches peeking just above the hedges in your dreams, except there was not a single person whose innocent eyes you memorized appeared at the same spot. 

“Have you lost your way out?” someone meekly asked you from behind. 

The moment you have your eyes on his, you are helpless. So to say. 

He was the most handsome boy you have ever seen in your life, and you feel your heart beating faster against your chest and your hands yearning to hold his. You were speechless when you saw his face, the exact eyes that have been stuck in your dreams were now real and in front of you. While your parents hoped for your soulmate to have the same social status as yours, you didn’t mind when his appearance said otherwise. He was no noble, you figured, but you were sure your parents cannot protest against the soulmate connection made by the heavens above for you and him. 

You never dare to forget his name when you make your journey back home once the night falls. Though you two didn’t spend enough time to talk and get to know each other, you were already planning to know all of him in this lifetime. 

His name is Jeon Jungkook, the youngest son of his family who has been loyal in their service to the Kang’s family for decades. More than that, they are residing in the same manor as Kyungmi so you would always know where to find him easily. No longer will you attempt to roam the whole country, looking for your soulmate since you are blessed by the heavens above that you already met him. Indeed there was no verbal indication that the two of you were destined for each other, but deep inside there is this mutual feeling that speaks for both of you. Some kind of divine intervention that cannot be proven by science. 

Your parents found it odd that they have been frequenting the Kang’s family in the coming years, and yet they never questioned it. It only made them happy to see your budding friendship with Kyungmi and the boy whose family works for Kyungmi’s parents. You three were inseparable since Kyungmi observed how you became close to Jungkook. Moreover, you have introduced him as your soulmate, to which she enthusiastically celebrated by requesting for his mother, Mrs. Jeon, to bake a cake instantly that day. Thus, her blabbering got the attention of nearly all the workers in the manor and her parents as well as yours, and his. 

Your parents were surprised when they were able to piece together the reason for visiting the Kang’s. Finding out that It was more than just you creating a long-lasting friendship with Kyungmi. Nonetheless, they support your happiness as much as Kyungmi’s parents support hers. Granted, they were far from other noble families who seek to elevate their status and advertising their own children in marriage as a way of merging businesses.

In the perspective of the Jeon family, with their youngest son whose soulmate is the daughter of an affluent family in the village, they sighed in relief from worrying about Jungkook’s future as a menial laborer. As much as their predecessors have been loyal to the Kang’s family, they hoped that their sons would find a way to grow outside of the manor and pursue their aspirations beyond the village. While Junghyun’s planning his future outside the service they provide to the Kang’s family, Jungkook however was focused to alleviate the workload of his parents during that time. With you as their son’s soulmate, they see a bright future for Jungkook to care and provide for you, transcending through every lifetime you will spend together. 

From that moment, while his parents continue to do the same chores within Kang's manor Jungkook was already given the liberty to choose whether to stay at Park’s manor, which is your family’s, or to stay. He was not required to be of service for the Kang’s anymore but due to his compassion towards his parents, he continues to do so. Not only that, his family is well-received by both powerful families and were gifted with various items; his favorite shirt which was dull in color was then replaced with a more vibrant cream color, and he was required to own a few suits whenever the families host dinner parties. It was typical for Jungkook to always escort you to every party, even if it’s held at Kyungmi’s house or yours, but he didn’t mind one bit as long as he has you close to him. 

You feel loved whenever you feel his eyes on you as the years go by. The talks you two shared were delightful, you admit. Though nothing compares to the lingering stares and the kisses you two have shared under the same moonlight when both of you reached the age of 13. His soft lips against yours always leave you defenseless, that only led him to give you more until your lipstick’s a mess. Even if it was a mere peck, an innocent kiss shared between the two of you, both you and Jungkook were still reprimanded by your respective parents. Though neither of you didn’t expressed any regrets after being caught, you two still kept to your parents’ word to wait for the right time, such as marriage. 

It was when you’re 14 years old that he planned to take you out into the townsquare, just the two of you as you roamed the festivities prepared and held by the townspeople annually. The two young couple, soulmates if you’d prefer, grabbed the attention of some villagers and made them coo at the demure young love you two emitted. Furthermore, he let you know that to make this date be affordable, he started working at the nearby bakery months ago in order to earn money to spend for tonight. Even when both of you knew that you can afford everything the market has to offer that night.

“Just let me spend my hard earned money for you, ______.” Jungkook whined adorably while you only pinched his cheeks in response. He never missed to treat you like a princess worthy of the world has to offer every time when you realize that he, too, deserves to be treated as a prince if you were to be his one and only princess. 

The summer when you were 15, and him approaching the age of 16, he agreed to your suggestion to stay with you and your family for the whole season. And while he is assured by your parents to treat it as a vacation with your family, he still insists on doing the chores he used to do before despite your protest. Although not for long, you learned to do the same tasks he performed and was able to independently bake cupcakes without burning them and leave your room clean every morning, which left your maids to scratch their heads on what to touch after considering that your trinkets are no longer littered on the floor anymore. 

The garden in your backyard was something that can’t be bragged about without being compared to Kyungmi’s, but Jungkook kissed your worries away when the open field offered the opportunity to teach you how to ride a horse, choosing Nora. The white horse had been spontaneously named by your mother as a present from your parents on your 3rd birthday. You feel his clothed chest on your back as he guided your hands in manipulating the rope in front of you. 

There are other days where you were calmly reading with him in the small library located in the east wing of the mansion, getting used to the domesticity of the quiet activity you two chose to spend the rest of the day with. Unfortunately for him, he picked the wrong book to read when his eyes stumbled upon hifalutin words that are rarely used in everyday conversations. 

He scooted over to the sofa you’re currently occupying, noticed how his right hand is free from clutching the book and found your left hand. Interlacing your fingers together before asking you the meaning of the difficult words. You gladly taught him the whole afternoon with new words, though it didn’t last long when he returned the book back to its proper shelf and insisted for you to read him the romantic fiction upon your hands until the sun goes down.

Summer comes and goes so fast when the night turns colder and he is on a carriage back to his family. You silently cried that night in your bed when he went away, never knowing Jungkook equally feels the same way during that ride. While you wiped your tears from the linens on the side of your bed you felt the crinkling of paper buried beneath the blanket, digging your left hand beneath as the smooth edges of a folded paper met your fingertips. 

Dear ______,

I know that by the time you read this, I am already on my way back to family. Though I wish to experience more seasons than just summer with you, we still have to wait for time to take its course. If there is one thing I regret while spending my summer days with you, it is only when I did not summon enough courage to say that I love you. 

I love you, ______, and I am sorry that I would have to leave you for now. But if you are willing to wait as I am, do expect the next time we meet that I will say those three words without any fear holding me back. Please do not be saddened by my absence as I’ll make an effort to become an educated man worthy to stand by your side. I will be eternally grateful for your parents and Kyungmi’s for giving me an opportunity to pursue my studies out of kindness; they say it is never too late for me to fulfill my education like any other noble children have the privilege to do. Even so, none of these would not happen if I never became your soulmate in the first place.

I thanked the heavens for leading me to you, you did not make me feel like a nuisance even before you knew I was the one for you. Perhaps it was fate that led me to follow you inside the garden when I overheard that you have the tendency to lose your way out of the labyrinth. Now, with how our story unravels I feel undeserving of having the privilege to be your soulmate, but I know you will say otherwise. 

It will be hard for us to be away from each other for awhile, but I hope that my love for you makes you grow fonder of my presence even if we are apart. My heart belongs to you and you only, no one else’s. I hope I have captured your heart by the end of this summer. I look forward to the next moment we will meet, and in the next years to come where I will be allowed to spend the rest of seasons in this lifetime as your loving husband. 

I will patiently wait for a letter if you ever have the chance to write to me at your earliest convenience. Again, I miss you and I love you ______.

Sincerely,

Jeon Jungkook

The tears continued to pour from your eyes though it never wetted the paper, you cherished the words he had written to you too much to even smudge the ink embedded in the fibers. The letter, while made you cry, also brought comfort that he has you in his mind even after he leaves the manor that housed him for the summer. Although it is unfair for you to be a mess after reading the letter, you were somewhat grateful that Jungkook was able to express that your love is reciprocated. This was better than him leaving without leaving these words of consolation at all. 

You securely folded the letter again and kept it safe from being touched by your maids as you put it inside a drawer on your nightstand, secured with a key hidden in a place you only know. From that night, you planned to write a letter back as soon as possible before the school starts again. 

Gone are the days when Jungkook sends you a letter along with a flower or two for when you feel like at your worst, it is only reduced to a piece of paper since floral shops are closed for the time being during winter season and he only has a few money remaining as he’s discouraged to work when school began. More than that, you received a letter also from Kyungmi who cannot wait to spend Thanksgiving hosted by your family real soon. She further explained that she has no one to talk to while being homeschooled except Jungkook whenever he had the chance to visit the manor on weekends, considering that he is currently attending a boarding school exclusively for male students. Whenever he was unable to mail you his letter every week, you have Kyungmi to write to and visit every now and then. 

Without Jungkook, you and Kyungmi were at an age where you confide in each other related to trivial things that might trouble your minds as you two approach the time where girls like you are expected to marry. There might be others who wanted to explore the world using their father’s money, perhaps learn a thing or two relating to the business established by their kin. But you have met your soulmate early and never desired to do these contrarian ways nor wish to live without him until you feel you are ready for marriage. Kyungmi, however, cannot relate to what you have right now.

“I found out that I am adopted,” she told you one day while the two of you are busy painting the canvases in front of you, “and they say that I should’ve found my soulmate three years ago. Lucky for you, you found Jungkook at an earlier age than expected.” 

You dropped the brush on your hand, losing interest in the current activity as you worriedly looked at her who seems to be in near tears, “Perhaps it is not too late, you know. There has been news outside the village that they found their soulmate even when they are 20 years or older.” 

“I’m not willing to wait that long, other girls at the same town as ours will speak ill of me.” Kyungmi expressed, “How I am unworthy to be the daughter of my parents or how I deserve to not have a soulmate--”

You tried to empathize with her, “Do not think of what they say, they are just jealous of how the heavens granted you your parents. Do not also lose hope about your soulmate,they will come to you someday. There’s nothing wrong with waiting.” you caressed her long hair in comfort before hugging her. 

“Is Kyungmi okay?” You gasped when you heard his voice from behind. Not long and you felt his arms around you and Kyungmi. It feels like you two were the same children who are inseparable for the longest time every time you visit their manor. 

“Just some mean kids, Jungkook.” You explained simply while you feel his chin against your head, it’s shocking that he started to outgrow your height as expected for him as a 15 years old. 

“Tell me their names and I’ll--” 

“You can’t beat up girls,” Kyungmi muttered.

He paused, “I’ll give them a word of warning then.”

You three made light of the situation by laughing, never knowing how it also affects the reputation of the Kang’s among their influential peers not only within the village but also outside of it. The Kang’s family let the fools criticize their family for a while, hoping for them to exhaust themselves and make their mouths dry from speaking but somehow it did not cease even after the Thanksgiving celebration. 

And Mr. Kang knew what he had to do, all in the sake of his daughter’s happiness.

“Your daughter’s the talk of the town if I’m not wrong, Daeshim.” the raspy voice of Miss Bonhwa interrupted his eyes from scanning the whole bungalow where she lives. To others, she is just a lowly villager who creates and supplies herbal medicine to nearby infirmaries, but to him she is more than just a simple lady living in solitude. If only the people have a clue about the medicines they intake are laced with a little bit of magic. 

She is a witch, eternal youth bestowed upon every inch of her melanin-rich skin as he observed that Bonhwa hadn’t aged at all; not a single wrinkle can be spotted at the corner of her eyes or her mouth. He knew of her long before he met his wife as an adventurous kid in the outskirts of the village back then. It is not that they have an affair or so, but she has something that bound them for the next lifetimes. Though it is important for him to note to himself to redo the same thing over again once he is reborn to a new life and found his soulmate again; his wife. 

She further prodded, “And you are not warranted to visit again, as I told you I will see you in the next lifetime.”

“I did not come here for myself, my wife and I are still happily married.” Kang Daeshim explained. Admittedly, he and his wife were surprisingly not soulmates. However, they are not bound to anyone else after years of attempting to search for their destined significant other. Soon enough at the age of 25, they found each other and were willing to build a special relationship that the village seemed to disapprove of as they are going against the very nature of the soulmate connection in the world.

Bonhwa hummed, “for Kyungmi, then. Who do you plan to bound her to? A rich noble named Kim Taehyung--”

“Rich, noble boys only care for themselves,” he scoffed, “my daughter deserves to be treated better, someone who will see her as a royalty rather than a property they can abuse to their heart’s content.” 

Her mind-reading capabilities did not fail her to see the ideal candidate for Kyungmi inside Mr. Kang’s head. “I expect that you’ll bring him here the next fortnight, as well as enough sacks of gold for this to happen exactly as you wish.” and with one blink, Mr. Kang found himself standing in front of his carriage ready to travel back to his manor with his wife and daughter, as well as her future in-laws residing with them for years.

It was at the age of 16 where you are about to finish your education, expected to learn the footsteps your parents made to establish the winery they wanted in the abundant field behind where your house stood. A few trees might be needed to be taken down from the forest at the far back of the property, to pave way for the seeds of grapes to be planted and fermented in the near future. 

Your father’s trip to Spain made no exception for him to not explore the wineries and the abundance of fragrant wine it has to offer. Thus it inspired him and his wife, your dear mother, to invest enough money to create their own until they retire. Soon, they saw you being born as their child and molding you ready to take over the new family business. Yes, you were still young but you presented a sense of maturity that other primadonnas in their noble family lacked. 

You received far much better education compared to other ladies of your own age, even Kang Kyungmi was only able to receive enough education proper for ladies to act based upon society’s expectation as they are assumed to be taken care of by their future husbands. Being privately taught by unconventional school subjects for girls gave you an opportunity in which you can stand equally next to your future husband and soulmate, Jeon Jungkook. 

Though strangely, the letters he wrote to you each week had begun to cease. It seemed to be much worse as compared to when he is busy in his studies, attempting to catch up at the lessons he lacked as a child and continues to prove his peers wrong by excelling much better than them. It was amazing to read of his adventures as he writes it in the past letters, but now you are longing for him and his words of comfort and full of love. How can he spend a week long without communicating with you? It was agonizing for you to be apart from him now that you have been expecting him to ask for your hand in marriage, yet he hadn’t tried to ask for your parent’s blessing before this year ends. 

Moreover, Kyungmi hasn’t been responding to the letters you sent a long ago. For sure they have been back from the vacation they announced a month ago, included in their plans to stay out of town for a short time was that the Jeon family comes along with them. Though you figured that it is not anticipated for them to ask permission from you, it might be just nice to be reminded by your soulmate that they are taking a vacation without you. . . as if they were just one family. Even so, not a single note arrived upon your doorstep when they left.

You admit to yourself, there’s a lingering jealousy whenever Kyungmi and Jungkook are together without you. In the past, you dismissed such feelings as they are childhood friends first before you came into the scene as his soulmate. Although this time, you grew worried that something’s not in the right place anymore. It feels as if you were drifting apart. 

Little did you know your parents already knew of what had transpired; manipulated by their very own close friend before they left for their trip out of town. They don’t know how to break the news to you when you are so helplessly in love with your soulmate even when they observed how less frequently the mailman dropped by their estate to deliver enveloped letters that were supposedly from Jungkook. 

It was also at the age of 16 where you received your second heartbreak. 

The reason you were able to curse the pouring sky on an evening night was when Kyungmi and Jungkook’s engagement was announced during a celebration held in their manor. Though your parents attempted to stop you from attending the party, you were too stubborn and managed to escape their grasp when you rode the same horse, Nora, that you learned to travel with in that summer with him.

Yet he was far from your sight when you entered their estate, your hair disheveled from the harsh winds that came along with the hurried gallops of Nora. You cannot contain your gasp when you see their hands interlaced, with hers adorned with a large diamond ring that you learned back then was a heirloom from Kyungmi’s grandfather. 

Only then did the nearby attendees take notice of your state, some of them who suspect that you and Jungkook were soulmates based on the times you roamed the street whenever the village held a holiday to celebrate by all. The murmurs widened like a ripple of water towards the grand staircase where the two families of the manor stood. It was not long until you captured his doe eyes, swimming with guilt as he moved his foot from where he stood.

“Don’t attempt to chase her, son,” Mr. Kang gritted, appearing to be embarrassed yet angry at how the nosey crowd got ahold of the real truth. “Remember your duty to this family, to Kyungmi, and most importantly for your parents and brother.” 

You were far too embarrassed to make a scene with the villagers as your audience, the only thing you could do was to run away from their sight. Much like the first time he cannot find the strength to confront you of his feelings for him, you did the same thing when you did not wait for the rain to stop to travel back to your parents’ manor with Nora. 

“______.” You heard your mother calling for your attention when you entered the gates, eyes laced with worry while yours were filled with tears that seemed to be covered by the raindrops currently pouring. 

Your chest was heaving and with a shaking voice did you ask, “How long have you known?” a thick blanket was then placed around your freezing body as she, with the help of your maids, led you towards the fireplace while the others were busy to fix a warm bath and retrieve a new dress for the daughter of the Park estate. 

Your father was the one who replied to your question, “It was only when they left out of town a month ago, though the Kang family sent a letter of apology for-- well--,”

“For stealing my soulmate, what a fucking delight.” you managed to scoff, your mother beside you was about to reprimand your language but was interrupted by the deep chuckle of her spouse. 

“Let her be, darling. She is entitled to feel angry about it.” Your father told your mother regarding your fuming behavior. 

Then realization dawned upon you before you were urged to take your bath, “Why did they take him away from me? Why did he not fight for me? Am I unworthy to be considered as his soulmate?” You sobbed, what would you become when a person who was supposedly destined to you did not choose to be with you. 

Your tears continue to pour as you feel your father’s hand on the side of your head, inviting you to lean on his shoulders as you cry your heart, longing for Jungkook that night. You deserve at least an explanation from him as to why he changed his mind, his plans to marry you and proceeded to choose someone else to spend his life with. 

“None of this is your fault, remember that ______. They are only selfish and cruel to take advantage of you and your soulmate.” Your mother stroked your hair, “For now, let’s clean you up before you fall ill from being in the rain for so long.” 

For days you remained silent and opting to be left alone most of the time, you barely did the activities that reminded you of him. To the point where you neglect to look after Nora, now she’s more than just a means of transporting materials for construction of the winery. You refused to touch the books you read to him, nor did you attempt to sit at the same couch where the two of you spent the majority of your time in each other’s presence. Your mother takes notice of your melancholic state as she always has a clue on what to manipulate in the very estate she designed before you were born.

With a flick of her fingers, the couch was out of your sight and was burned with smoke reaching the sky and can be seen from the windows in your bedroom. Albeit unusual to burn the furniture when it could’ve been donated in an orphanage in the village, you did not find enough care to make that remark as you lay in your unruly bed all day until the supper was made. It took a week for you to receive a letter you desire yet despise at the same time, you knew who the letter came from just from seeing the color of the parchment. 

After picking up the letter, you ran towards your room and locked yourself inside before finding the courage to open it. You cannot prevent the tears from spilling your eyes before you even try to read the contents.

Dear ______,

First and foremost, I sincerely wanted to ask for forgiveness. Though I cannot explain that much why I agree for this to happen, and all I could ever offer you is an apology for betraying you like this. It may seem that I did not care about you all this time, but that is far from the truth. 

Please believe me that I still love you, 

You quickly crumpled the paper as you read the same words that always left your heart defenseless, no matter how broken it is as of this moment. Yet an idea passed your mind as you were about to gather the letters he wrote for you from the drawer, which will add onto the fire currently consuming the couch outside. Your feet padded out of your room and towards the staircase when you heard the voices of your parents upon the door left ajar in your father’s study.

“You mean ______’s soulmate was coerced to sign the vow from Bonhwa?” Your mother’s hushed voice asked her spouse.

Your father nodded, “Who else could Kang go to when he did the same thing to his own wife, though she also had no soulmate when they met. Bonhwa’s herbal medicine is merely a curtain for her to practice witchcraft, she seems to be an expert on how to play the fate of soulmates whenever she’s given a chance.” 

“How is she not driven from the village, then?” Your shaky voice reached the ears of your parents when you made your presence known by the door. Their horrified faces knew how the truth would unfold for you, and they cannot foresee what you’re already planning inside your mind.

“She is a powerful witch, Bonhwa. And the people will not deny her prowess in creating potions that could cure, thus saving our village from deadly diseases that affected other towns nearby,” Your father explained simply. 

The question your parents dreaded to answer truthfully was the next thing that came out from your mouth, “What is the vow you’re speaking of?” 

Your parents turned to each other, planning on how to break the truth slowly, your mother started, “I don’t know exactly the name of the vow given by her, but it is powerful enough to make a person you choose to become your soulmate, even if they weren’t destined for you to begin with.” 

The letters you’re currently holding in your hands began to tighten, “Where to find her--”

“I forbid you to seek this witch, ______.” your father was quick to interrupt, standing up from his chair as he approached you, “We can find someone else for you,” 

“I just want my soulmate back, father.” You sobbed into your occupied hands, thoroughly wetting the letters and the ink of promises Jungkook has written. 

Your father sighed, holding your hands together, “Believe me when I tell you that Bonhwa cannot undo what she has casted, dear. As I heard from Kang Daeshim, it is permanent.”

Your thoughts loomed over your head as you burned the letters one by one, the casted fire illuminated the area as the sun went down deep from the forest. The area where the fire has been burning made it easy for some of the village people to question what was happening in the Park’s estate when they see smoke kissing the sky during the day. Especially the person you longed to love and hate at the same time was able to see you from afar as he sat upon the branch of the tree near the entrance of the property, finding you burning the letters he made for you. 

Jungkook, while having the freedom to act like a noble within Kang’s manor, is still willing to perform tasks that Mr. Kang wanted him to do. Instead of running errands, he was rather forced to spend his time with Kyungmi more. Unlike you, Kyungmi insists on doing activities that taught him how to act like a proper royalty who’s about to become an heir to a non-existent throne, but little did he know he was about to be given the chance to become an heir since Kyungmi established that she will not participate in their family business. 

Everything about the mining sector of the industry bored her so much, instead she wanted to act as a perfect housewife and dream of building a family when she found someone to marry. Mr. Kang could not detest his daughter’s wishes, and resumed to find the perfect candidate to be her significant other. Kang Daeshim never misses the stare his daughter gives to Jungkook every now and then, it was the same eyes his wife would give him. In addition to seeing Kyungmi secretly liking your soulmate, an epiphany came over him when a night spent with Jungkook showed that he has the same fascination about the industry and the family business in general.

It was like hitting two birds with one stone. 

Prior to being invited to join their vacation months ago, he was also invited to visit someone with Kyungmi’s father at a time close to midnight. The question Kang Daeshim dropped while they were on their way in the village made him ponder about his family, “How would you like to inherit the family business, perhaps bring your parents to comfort while no longer serving for us?” 

Mr. Kang added, “I heard that your older brother’s planning to establish a restaurant, you can help him instantly. It’s not like the Park’s could give you money just because you are their daughter’s soulmate when they are busy doing their winery. Remember your responsibility to your own family, Jungkook. Family comes first.”

The last three words Mr. Kang spoke struck his mind, it is expected for soulmates to devote most of their time once they are joined in matrimony. However, it is not fair for him to lavish in the wealth while his family continues on with what life the heavens gave them. He wanted them to live the same life he experienced once he met you as his soulmate: no longer will her mother tire her hands and instead she will find the time to read the books she wanted to at any time of the day, no longer will her father work hard under the heat of the sun, tending to the stables and taking care of the lavished garden when he can help with the business. 

The thought of becoming wealthy was a dream that became alive again, longing to build a big house made of stones and other materials to last for more than one generation of the Jeon family. He was eager to give his affirmation to be Kang Daeshim’s apprentice, but at what cost?

“Where are we going?” Jungkook softly interrogated the older man in front of him, his eyes looking for any answers in his stare. 

“I’m about to give you the will to decide what happens next.” was all Mr. Kang could answer as the carriage came to a halt, right in front of Bonhwa’s bungalow. 

When he returned that night, he couldn’t bear the guilt that he had done. More so when he has been persuaded strongly by the thought of his parents and his dear brother. He was enslaved to the fact that he could become the son his parents would’ve wished to have in this lifetime, in return he had to give up someone precious to his heart. You. 

But then you recalled what Mr. Kang said to him after signing the vow, “Do whatever you want in your next life, I just want my daughter to be happy for once during this lifetime. This is just a small sacrifice on your part, and I’m sorry that it has to be like this.” 

The only flaw that came with the vow was that it is only permanent in one lifetime, but not in the next. He just prayed to the heavens above to grant him a way back to you whenever he’s about to be reincarnated in the next lifetime. 

I’m sorry, ______. Jungkook kept replaying in his mind when he found you at the evening party regarding the engagement. The word of apology, while being simple, holds a lot of unspoken emotions he felt as he attempted to visit your estate the days after the celebration. However, he was denied entry but rather was given a chance to write everything he wants to say to you into a letter. Probably the last letter he would have written and read by you. He was mistaken with what he had thought you would do as he saw you burning the letters he probably wrote to you into ashes. 

You noticed that you and him were still the talk of the village a week after the incident where you found out that your soulmate was not yours anymore. But you didn’t come into the townsquare to ask them for their pity, you were there for your own personal reason. 

It was explained to you that there was nothing that can undo the vow. Even so, no one told you that the witch can help you in other ways. Thus, you resorted to speaking to shop owners who are supplied by the witch--Lady Bonhwa’s herbal medicines. You did not like suffering from heartache all this time, when the diversional activities provided to you by your parents and your family’s servants remained futile to uplift your mood for the past few days. And now, you are determined to seek more information about this Bonhwa who can help you forget your feelings for your soul-- for him. 

“All I have heard was that she lives on the outskirts, rarely goes into the village.” one person told you as he was busy wrapping up the vegetables he sold to his customers, “I think Mr. Ong might know where she lives as he is the one who delivers the bottles of medicine at the beginning of every month.” 

You sighed, stubbornly thinking that you cannot wait for two weeks more to resolve this hurt, “Then where does Mr. Ong lives? Can I visit him?” 

The person sighed before calling for his son inside his shop, “Please help Lady ______ towards Mr. Ong’s house--”

“Is a horse required to get to him as soon as possible?” You interrupted, eyes filled with determination. 

“Bring a horse,” he muttered to you and to his son. Not long and you and him, whose name is Kim Namjoon, are one step closer to knowing where Lady Bonhwa resided. 

Namjoon can’t help but prod a question, “Why are you desperate to see Lady Bonhwa?” followed by a noise made from his brown horse. Though his pet is no match to the height of the black horse you’re sitting on. It was your father’s. 

“I think she has something I need to cure what I’m feeling right now.” You explained, and then added, “I’m pretty sure you have heard of what transpired between the two powerful families in this town.” 

“I do,” Namjoon confirmed, “Have you acquired an unknown disease that Lady Bonhwa has the answer to resolve?” 

You breathe out, “Yes, she probably has the answer I need.” 

With his guidance, he informed you that you two have arrived to Mr. Ong’s abode. Vegetation surrounding his house as you see the familiar face of the man you saw in the newspaper years ago, it was now the man who delivers these herbal medicines from Bonhwa. 

“What are you kids doing here, the sun is about to go down and it is dangerous for a lady like you to be out at this time of the hour.” Mr. Ong was quick to reprimanded your presence, knowing that you are the daughter of the Park’s family. You and Namjoon were quick to go down your horses. 

“I’m here to ask directions to the wi--Lady Bonhwa’s house, I heard that you know where she resides.” You reasoned.

Mr. Ong looked scornful, “Why would you need Miss Bonhwa’s address? What’s your business with her?”

You stuttered, trying to find a clear reason for him to give you her address, but Namjoon was quick to answer for you, “She doesn’t feel so well, I think it is best for Bonhwa to see ______ herself for a proper inspection, and perhaps she’d be given a proper medicine for her condition.” 

“Yes, yes. That.” You nodded with Namjoon’s statement. 

The old man sighed, turning around and approaching the doorway to gather a piece of folded paper from inside his home, he indicated you to open your palms before placing the paper he had memorized from the countless times he delivered the same medicinal bottle he called a miracle. “This is the map to her house, though she is not expected to be back until tomorrow night. It is best to visit her the day after tomorrow so she can take a good look at you, Lady ______.”

You thank the old man, as well as Namjoon, while the two of you are on your way back to the populous area of the village before the sun fully sank into the horizon. Furthermore, Namjoon insisted to escort you back to the gates of your estate to ensure your safety as you’ve given him a little sack of gold for his service the whole afternoon. Though he wants to deny the gift, you insisted for him to keep it. “You can use the money however you’d like, it’s yours.” You told him before you entered your family’s property. 

Truthfully, you haven’t been sleeping well these past few days after gaining the map from Mr. Ong. Not even the calming drink of tea could ever put you to sleep without waking up crying terribly in the middle of the night. In your dreams, you have always recalled the first time you met Jungkook. But then your imagination will slowly unravel to him letting go of your hand and opting to interlace his hands with Kyungmi’s. The once doe eyes that made your heart flutter resorted to look cold and void of any emotions for you. Prior to waking up, the last thing you have seen was them sharing a kiss at the end of the church’s altar. Causing you to soak your pillows with tears and clutching the center of your chest from the pain the nightmare put you into.

You dearly wished for the winery to finish their first fermentation of wine so you could drink yourself to sleep instead. Though it will guarantee you a smack on your head from your mother in the early morning. 

Now, all you could do is to wait for the night to fall. Where you would sneak outside and begin making your way on the road to seek for the witch who can silent your heartache permanently, perhaps the magic she’ll be casting will stretch more than one lifetime of yours. The past nights where you can’t sleep were only utilized by you in memorizing every turn the horse would make when you are out there. Granted, you never know much about the roads, if the heightened bushes already rendered you brainless from knowing your way out of Kyungmi’s gar-- 

Wait. You should not even think about the damn garden next to their manor. You focused on yourself, trying to give enough talks to yourself that you can navigate the roads all by yourself with only the guidance of the map. Maybe your intuition and sense of direction, if you have any. 

You were sure that your parents were busy supervising the operations of their winery tonight, and so you took advantage to sneak a horse from the stables and leave the vicinity of your estate when darkness started to consume the sky and the streetlights were kindled for safe traveling in the dark. As instructed in the map, you need to find the narrow road just near the center of the village as it provided a much precise direction compared to other main roads taken by merchants and travelers. 

The clouds that simply loomed over the town began to rumble when you reached the populous area of the village, you kept your face hidden from the hooded cloak as you turned your horse towards the road less taken. Though at that moment the rain started to pour down, which leaves the people outside to find refuge in nearby shops leaving a few people who started to get soaked in the rain. 

And one of those people is someone you despise to look at right now, but his doe eyes were persistent to look at your hooded figure even if the rain should make it harder for him to recognize you. The fact that his eyes were trying to get a hold of you only pushed you to pressure the horse into galloping instantly and create distance from him, hoping that he will never attempt to follow you. But the distressed sound of another horse from behind foiled your plans. 

While the distance between you and him are currently rising, Jungkook was forced to make hurried steps to unlatch a horse from Kyungmi’s carriage. He turned deaf from the cries of his fiancé inside the vehicleas he tried to undo the straps, however it did not budge. So his next plan, albeit cruel, was to find another horse nearby. From where he stood, he sees Namjoon soaked in the rain and  clutching onto the ropes attached to his brown horse as he silently offers Jungkook to use his pet as a means to follow you. 

It took you thirty minutes to navigate the roads, even if the rain tried to obscure your vision. When you thought you could outrun him, he always seemed to catch up to your horse’s hurried pace. Of course, even after those years you spent to practice horseback riding, you could never beat your mentor who’s currently tailing your horse’s steps. Your best bet was to lose him through the thick trees beside the road, and so you directed your horse to enter the forest. It was further instructed in the map that Bonhwa’s bungalow was nestled into the forest rather than being out in the open at the side of the road. You only pray to the heavens that it was her place that you see kilometers away, or else you’ll be lost inside the woodland for the rest of the night.

You quickly hopped down from the saddle and hurriedly knocked at the door of the bungalow, and in just one blink you were standing in front of Miss Bonhwa, “What seems to be the hurry, Park ______?” 

Knowing that you were running out of time, you ignored the query in your mind as to how she was able to figure out your full name, “It may seemed foolish for me to pray that you can undo a vow when I know the answer for that, but now I only request for something that could help me forget my feelings for my soulmate. Please, before he comes.” 

She sighed, “Kind of tricky what you’ve wanted from me, but fear not that I have made something close to what you desire.” A pounding on her door stopped Bonhwa from approaching the cabinet full of bottles and jars filled with colorful concoction she made for the sake of gaining experience. “Shall I allow your former soulmate inside my humble abode?” she directly asked you. 

You shook your head, internally blocking his voice from calling your name multiple times. A bottle was put in front of you on the wooden counter and she was about to talk, you were quick to uncork the bottle and started to drink its contents out of desperation and without prior instruction from the witch herself.

In the hazy mind of yours did you recall how frantic Bonhwa became, to the point where all the doors and windows turned unlocked while she placed her hands on her head. The next time your eyes fluttered, you see his face for the last time. Doe eyes with tears pouring past his cheeks as he has his arms around your back, trying to not let you fall to the floor. 

“What did you do to her?!” You heard Jungkook shouted to Bonhwa as she was preoccupied to find whatever antidote that could save you from the overdose from the potion you drank. 

“I did not predict that she would drink it in one go, only half a cup was already an effective dose to make her for--” she stopped when an epiphany came over him,

“Forget about me, isn’t it.” he managed to choke as he continued to witness the life in you withers away. His hand caressed your head before pulling your figure close to his chest, “I’m so sorry, my love.” 

“Try putting this in her mouth,” A small flask was handed over to him while he laid you down on the floor, prying your mouth open before spilling the translucent green liquid. Praying that you were able to ingest it before it’s all too late. 

Bonhwa’s fingers were attempting to feel your pulse at the side of your neck, finding that supposedly throbbing artery became thready in every passing second. You were losing your life, but the last thing you remember before you succumb to sleep was how you felt nothing for Jungkook anymore as you gaze at his dreamlike face. 

Year 20XX

Jeon Jungkook woke up with a gasp escaping his tired throat, his sweat seeping through his thin shirt as he recalled every detail in the nightmare he just had. 

Or a dream, if he might even consider in his mind. Because you appeared in his visions, his real soulmate.

You were the most important thing he noted in his mind as he struggled to find his journal full of lyrics he wrote for his songs on his nightstand, trying to attempt to write your full name before he forgets it. But how could he ever think of forgetting your face when it has been you who inspired him to become a better man before he broke your heart and trust in his past life. 

Now, his heart can be free from the chains that have weighed him down since he first found Kyungmi; or Kyungmi who managed to find him first in this current lifetime. 

Finally, he has the answer to the questions his fans would ask him. Why didn’t he write any songs particularly about his soulmate when countless artists like him worldwide have done at least one or two songs, expressing their love for their soulmate? It is because he was never destined for her in the first place, the gods above last night already gave him a sign pertaining to his real soulmate. Yet it was his foolish decisions from his past lifetime that put him astray. Away from you.

Now, he suffers from the repercussions of the choices he made in the past life. He remembered you dying in his arms due to the heartbreak he had caused you. Stories say that a soulmate’s broken heart was the worst pain any person could ever experience in the world. 

Jungkook’s regret was not saving you from your doom if only he had explained it to you in the first place, or that he never gave in to the manipulation of Mr. Kang. It was all his fault. Now, when remembering your face, especially the night in that bungalow managed to broke his heart oh so easily. Causing him to sob at his very own bed that morning while ignoring the sounds emitting from his phone nearby. 

After pitying his past life’s decision yesterday morning, a sense of determination came over him as he created plans in an attempt to find you around the country. But how would he do that without including the nosey public media at his tail. Though it’s not likely for him to knock at every door available in Seoul when there is a possibility that you might be residing in another country. He cannot even develop a concrete plan of action when his mind is a mess, even so if he was already washed up and ready to go outside when he didn't even know where to begin with. 

So he got rid of the jacket he wore and threw it back inside his closet, and opted to reach out for a pencil and a paper to start sketching your face. While he was not blessed to have any artistic skills from his past life, perhaps the gods above took pity and gave him one in this current lifetime as a way to find you. His musicality is an additional thing for him to consider as his job right now, a popular solo artist who’s about to break into the music industry in the west. Admittedly, he grew jealous of the love songs sung by other artists since he cannot find any inspiration to write one. Kyungmi didn’t give him enough reason to write one, but you however already inspired him to create meaningful lyrics while he was sketching your face. 

Maybe he can post his drawing on his Instagram, letting his dedicated fans to work as FBI agents to seek for you. Wait. It didn’t cross his mind to search you in Naver and in other social media apps when he was about to delegate such a sensitive task to strangers. He was quick to toss the pencil on his desk as he reached for the phone left in his jean pocket. Noticing how Kyungmi has been trying to reach him since yesterday, he swiped clear of his notifications before pulling up Instagram and typing your name on the search bar. Park ______.

If he was still Jeon Jungkook, then you must still be named as Park ______. 

To his dismay, a lot of people have the same name as you. In addition to his searches from other social media apps, your face was never used as a profile picture to make his search much easier. Damn, you’re a soulmate that’s harder to find. Yet his heart never ceased to lose hope as the mere sound of your name can make his heart flutter, imagine if he heard his name from your lips for a thousand years to come. 

A knock on his front door interrupted him from being consumed on the device in his hands, his feet padding towards the entrance of his expensive apartment while he’s still preoccupied with searching your name. 

“Jungkook, I’ve been calling and texting you for an hour. Why can’t you even answer it? A simple sentence like you’re preparing food would have sufficed,” Kyungmi whined as she welcomed herself into his home, “And now look at you, who can’t even look at his own soulmate or even greet her a kiss--”

“______’s my soulmate, not you.” He muttered, interrupting Kyungmi from her daily ranting. Though she was typically a blabbermouth and would keep on speaking, he finds it odd that her mouth halted from his statement. It made him avert his eyes from his phone to her, his eyes searching for answers upon hers when she frozen, sitting on his couch. “How long have you known?” he suspiciously asked. 

Kyungmi only managed to stammer, “I-I didn’t know you would ever recall ______,” 

“Why did you lie to me when you insist that I’m your soulmate?” he prodded further, angry at the fact that he is still being controlled by her and her past father with the vow that was supposedly expiring in this lifetime. 

“Even if we weren’t originally soulmates, I fell for you,” Kyungmi fought back, with tears spilling from her eyes and ruining her mascara, “Is it bad to love someone like you, Jungkook? I thought we do not need that vow anymore since we are still bound to each other when we are reincarnated. And I didn’t know you would still remember ______.” 

“Not if you know that they are already happily taken, Kyungmi!” He shouted, before raising his hands on his hair and gripping on it. “You know I was happy with ______, since we were children. At least you could have explained that to me when we met years ago.”

He breathed, sitting on the adjacent seat, “I need to find her. I’m sorry to do this right now but I want you to know that I still love her, Kyungmi.” 

“More than you loved me?” She harmlessly asked a question both of them knew the answer to. She watched him stand up and disappear from his bedroom, only to appear back again looking like he’s ready to leave her alone in this apartment, the same place where she used to spend most of her free time bathing in the love Jungkook used to provide to her. Albeit, it never amounted to the way he used to love you before, but it was better than having nothing at all. 

After all, she loves him more than he ever loved her and so she tells him, “I’ll help you find her.” 

Jungkook paused from opening the door of his apartment, “Why would you do that when it will only hurt you?” 

“Because I love you too much to see you suffer on your own, trying to seek for ______. This is the least I could do for you.” Kyungmi then stood from her seat and approached him at the foyer, managing to unhook the bucket hat hanging near the door and a reusable face mask. A celebrity disguise, “You need these first before you step out of this apartment. Where do you start looking for her? Do you have any idea what place?”

“I’m planning to seek the witch that made this change possible in the past.” he mumbled, “I’m sure we’re in the same country as Bonhwa.” 

His instincts and vivid memory made Jungkook drive towards the outskirts of Seoul city . . . Call him crazy that he’s still expecting the same bungalow to appear even when they’re already in the 21st century, her name was enough for him to assume that the witch is a Korean citizen. Kyungmi, however, was clueless to the bungalow’s appearance and this so-called witch when in the past she had never visited her like her father does. To think that it was all her father’s scheme to lure Jungkook into becoming hers, when she’s already satisfied to see you and him together from afar. 

She wasn’t the type of person to steal someone and defy the destiny that has already been written for them, though she can justify that she went along due to the fact that Jungkook chose her instead of you. But in this lifetime, he now chooses you more than ever. Wanting to fulfill the destiny, the future he promised to you that he was never given the chance to complete before. 

A shabby bungalow then appeared right before her eyes, catching Jungkook’s attention. His foot immediately stepped on the brake to take a closer look. It’s not like there are cars behind him to take his time examining the house standing beside the road instead of being engulfed by the thick tree branches behind the property. 

It took him a minute to find a parking space beside before stepping out of his car with Kyungmi, he then proceeded to knock on the door and patiently waited for someone from the inside to open it. “This place looks like before, though I haven’t visited her when there’s still daylight long ago.” he talked to himself, and perhaps to Kyungmi standing behind him who’s currently busy ridiculing the anterior of the bungalow. Both of them started to hear voices nearing the front of the door before it opened from the inside. 

“______.” Kyungmi was the first one to call your name, but your eyes however focused upon the man blocking the doorway from the outside. Jungkook. He was surprised when he saw you right where he found you fighting for your life in the past. What were you doing here? 

He cannot decipher what you were feeling when you see him again in a new life. He thought you were ecstatic to see him again, expecting for you to have the mutual feeling of wanting to redeem the love you have for each other as soulmates. Were you trying to find him also? 

“What are you doing here, ______?” Jungkook managed to ask you, snapping you out from your thoughts as you never blinked since you saw his face today. 

The way his name slipped your mouth made his heart flutter, like the way you first looked at him when you were 8-years-old inside the hedge labyrinth. It was his turn to seek for you, and now he had found you. 

Yet your cold voice brought him back to reality, “None of your business.” It was easy for you to nudge his heart out to the side like it didn’t matter to you. Like he was not your soulmate to begin with, reminding him that it was too late for redemption. 

“Can we talk,” He reached for your hand, feeling the surge of spark travelling through his arm when his skin made contact with yours, “please?” 

“I spent many years waiting for you to find me and explain things, Jungkook. It seems that you’re here to redo the vows with Kyungmi, I have nothing to do in your life anymore.” You told him, yanking your arm from his grasp, “You can breathe easily now that I am no longer significant in your life.” 

“What do you mean?” 

You sighed, looking at the approaching vehicle from the road. “All I’m saying is, I am now allowing myself to move on from you. No longer will I allow the gods above to dictate who should I end up with when I can choose that person myself. Like you did.” 

“But I’m here to fix everything, ______.” He reached to cup your face, forcing you to look at him, “I am not here to redo the vow but to break it, I thought that Bonhwa would give me a clue where to find you today. Instead, fate led me instantly to who I am looking for. You.”

“Tell me what can I do to fix this.” Jungkook begged you, tears blurring his vision when he didn’t notice that there was already someone behind him who’s waiting for you to come home with them. 

“______.” Kim Taehyung called for your name, the person who you have chosen to love now. He might not be your soulmate, but he showed you the kind of love you missed from experiencing since you died early in your past life. Taehyung heard of who he is while he’s trying to mend your heart years ago, though he did not expect it was Jungkook you were talking about. 

“Maybe in another lifetime, Jungkook. For now, let me love who I choose to love.” Your eyes can’t help but also teared up, seeing his face again. You were sure that your heart does not yearn for him anymore, voided of any lingering feelings for him. However, he still has an effect on you . . . sadly, it was not strong enough for you to consider being with him again, thinking that there might be a time in the future where he would walk out of your life again. 

Jungkook was a fool, falling for a trick from the gods above. When they led him to you so easily, he never thought that they only led him to his heartbreak. If this is what you felt when you see him engaged to Kyungmi that particular night, then he must’ve deserved the pain and torment you have experienced while being apart from him after those events. “I want to fight for you, yet I don’t want to be a hindrance to you finding love in this lifetime. But I’m willing to wait for you, ______.” was all he could ever tell you before letting you go. 

Kyungmi took a step forward, “I’m sorry, ______. For not fighting against my father’s plans back then.” You only nodded, accepting the apology that came out of her mouth before being guided by Taehyung towards their waiting vehicle at the side of the road. 

Acting like his closest friend and not his soulmate, Kyungmi comforted Jungkook that day. Apart from that, they did not miss the opportunity while being in Bonhwa’s bungalow to break the vow and unleashed the chain that bound them together. 

While she was off to find a new person who can potentially become her new soulmate, he was busy singing songs about you in a different context. Hoping to reclaim himself and hoped that his soulmate decided him to be worthy as your soulmate in the next life, just like the way destiny has written his unending love for his one and only soulmate.

You. 

Thank you for reading! For more of my works: m.list

[slimeclimbtime]

consider: zoom and ggang swap au

in another universe the two teams swapped songs. what do you think would happen

ZOOM

i think for zoom the distribution would be this (tho it'd be hard for me to say)

Seunghwan - Hyunbeen (killing parts, vocals in the middle)

Junhyeon - Wumuti (mostly vocals, high note, also has catchphrases)

Jeonghyeon - Keita (main rapper, good with beat switches)

Junghyun - Ollie (maknaes, cute, i was really torn about this one tbh)

Jianyu - Haruto (dancers, second-language raps, Jianyu has a lot of strength as seen in the couple contest so he could pull off a handstand me thinks)

and oh my god the fits would go so hard too, since theyre not as young-looking they might actually not get shorts, maybe something more streetwear like?

they wouldnt have as much of an impact as our current team zoom but theyd be iconic regardless

GGANG

for ggang its a little harder but this might be it (essentially a near reversal)

Keita - Jeonghyeon (main rappers, hypes up the crowd)

Wumuti - Seunghwan (we saw him do Seunghwan's neck slice, also great singer)

Haruto - Junhyeon (main dancer material, only downside would be not much of a rap)

Ollie - Jianyu (center plenty of times, can pull off the concept, rap at the end)

Hyunbeen - Junghyun (good tone control, would absolutely spit fire)

ik keita would get the junhyeon edit bc well...its rain, and well...yeah...but this team would also do fire! though they might also not have as much of an impact bc they prob wouldnt do the abs joke and whatnot (tho it helps that we know ollie and haruto can do this kind of concept thanks to Supercharger)

in conclusion: its a fun idea but its better it ended up this way

[witchvspatriarchy]

Goo Hara's story is one of the most tragic and rough in kpop history. And in light of the recent events, I'd like to share it.

It's pretty possible that most of you (ppl who weren't around for 2nd generation prime) dont know Goo Hara or her legendary group KARA. The group was among the top three girl groups nation wise, and number one in Japan.

But when KARA debuted it wasn't very popular, so when one member left, the company saw the opportunity to revamp the group and they added two new members. One of those was Goo Hara. She was introduced as main dancer and visual.

Hara's integration helped the group. Her innocent beauty in contrast to an effortless sex appeal caused men and women, children and adults, to fall in love with the idol, and this new fandom catapulted the group. Even though before debut she already had many fans, she already had antis too. A big portion of the original fandom rejected the integration of Hara. So from day one Hara had a strong individual fandom, but the group's fandom hated her.

Hara became the it girl of the moment, getting all the commercial contracts - this generated animosity from the fandom that questioned why she was the only one who was given the opportunities and why she did not participate in the commercial activities of the group. This did not weigh much on Hara at first, since she was somewhat accustomed to hate for no reason - in high school she was the victim of such extreme bullying that she had to change schools several times. She had the general public in her palms, so a portion of the fandom hating her was manageable.

But the love and support from the general public didn't last long, as netizens searched the internet to find something to destroy her and succeeded. They found Hara's teenage blog from before she was and idol, and in it they found photos of her in a hostel on her 17th birthday with her boyfriend at the time. They published them saying that Hara had had a romantic stay at the hostel and therefore she had sex while being a minor. And although the company denied it and Hara's friends said it had been a group trip, the netizens sought witnesses to support their accusations and thus began the gossip that Hara was promiscuous. This accusations gained notoriety when her relationship with Junhyun of B2ST became public. And so netizens invented her love affairs with many idols.

The situation reached a climax in Radio Star, when the MC asked KARA what topic they didn't want to talk about, to which Hara replied "dating." The three MCs started joking with Hara's promiscuity in a rather heavy way. And although it is well known that this type of image is harmful to an idol (mostly female idols) the MCs continued with the jokes. Hara tried to laugh it off but it was a comment from Kyuhyun that made her crack, being the gossip expert on the show, he said "if I said what I know, her career would be over." It was then that Hara threw him a bottle of juice playfully and then broke into tears. Hara was accused of being violent, unprofessional and disrespectful by netizens. And when one of the MCs came out in her defense and apologized for what they had done, the netizens said that "Hara's tantrums had forced him to apologize" and they hated her more.

Shortly after this, KARA disintegrated. But despite everything, Hara made a fortune as a commercial model. And there is nothing that netizens hate more than a successful, independent and wealthy woman. Especially if she achieves so despite public hate. And even more, if this successful, independent and wealthy woman is best friends with another successful, independent and wealthy woman (Sulli) that netizens also tried to destroy. And so, Goo Hara moved on with her life, even though the hate never stopped.

On September 4, 2018, Goo Hara (who is 1.64 and is so thin that she has been accused of being anorexic) was accused of beating her boyfriend. For the following week there were no signs of Hara, while the boyfriend appeared in the media several times a day giving interviews about it, and saying that she had gone crazy when he tried to end the relationship. He said he wasn't going to go public at first but when he got home he realized she had "disfigured" him and his face "is a big part of how he makes a living" (he's a hairdresser) so he decided to let everyone know the type of person she is. At some point the guy gave an interview in a hospital gown and connected to serum, despite having given interviews without these things several days before, and the hospital records shows he only had scratches. But despite being suspicious, the netizens did not need more, and cited what happened on radio star, her promiscuity and her friendship with Sulli as evidence of her violence and imbalance, and demanded jail time for Hara.

Time after that, Hara finally appeared on the media, which she had not done because she had been hospitalized due to the beating that the boyfriend (the alleged victim) gave her. Attack that damaged her internal organs to the degree of causing severe bleeding. Incidentally, there was damage to her intimate organs, so a rape is suspected, although it was never confirmed as such. And although Hara presented evidence and a witness, the netizens did not believe her, they said that she paid the witness and that, because she was promiscuous, her word had no worth. It was then that Dispatch revealed that the boyfriend had offered them the premise of the matter, then screenshots of the guy blackmailing Hara with an intimate video that he filmed against her will came to light. Just then the netizens decided to listen to her. The witness (Hara's roomie) came out to give her version of the facts: the guy had entered without permission with the access code and had woken Hara by kicking the bed. The witness and the messages proved that Hara had broke up with him and he wanted to blackmail her with the intimate video and threatened to end her career, Hara tried to take the video, and the guy beat her up. After that, he destroyed averything and anything he could find at the apartment, while Hara begged him not to publish the video. In the week that Hara was hospitalized the guy sent her threats and fragments of the video as blackmail.

For a while Hara had the empathy of the netizens, but the case was never resolved judicially, and the public eventually forgot what happened and attacked Hara again. This year Hara uploaded a photo to her social media for the first time, thanking the support she received in those difficult moments. And the netizens accused her of attention seeking, they said that if she was really hurt she shouldn't be on social media after what happened, and accused her of being unaware of the damage she caused her ex - who could no longer show his face in public. Soon she went to Japan to fulfill previous contracts and they accused her of fleeing, of indifference and said that what had happened hadn't been so serious if she was already working and she had made a big drama for nothing. Meanwhile the ex is active in social media and opened a new beauty salon, which was very successful. And as if that were not enough, the ex-boyfriend, Junghyun (B2ST) ended up entangled in the Seungri/Rising Sun scandal. And although it has been said that he was not an active participant beyond commenting on the videos that JJY sent, the netizens insisted that there were videos and intimate photos of Hara in the infamous chats.

After this, Hara uploaded a picture and netizens accused her of getting plastic surgery. Hara said that she had eyelid surgery for medical reasons and asked people to stop attacking her, but the netizens ignored and attacked her for the surgery.

May 25th 2019, Hara was found unconscious in her apartment. It was said it had been a suicide attempt. This incident, unlike others in the world of kpop, did not have a wave of positive and empathetic comments wishing her recovery, but the comments were insults, offenses and ridicule towards Hara. They even reproached her for her lack of success in committing suicide, accused her of faking it, said that the news were false to get attention and attacked her more than ever.

Soon after that Hara los her best friend.

This news were devastating but they were not a surprise, at least to me. I made a post about Sulli's passing asking people to support Hara, because I knew that she would be next. She had already tried. And she got hate for not succeeding.

A lot of the kpop fandom now wasn't around for most of the second generation mess. We had idols poisoned, attacked, and destroyed by netizens. There still are many idols victims of slave contracts and abuse but back then you saw the proof of those things regularly. With idols passing out and stuff.

Korea, specifically its treatment of celebrities is crap. Its inhuman. As international fans we should spread love for idols. And ask the companies to care for them, we should watch for their best interests as humans. What Hyuna and Edawn are doing, going on variety shows and doing photoshoots together as a couple is huge. What Mamamoo has been doing is huge. What Holland is doing is huge. Please support the idols who are actively fighting to change Koreas celebrity culture. ITS IMPORTANT.

And its important to know the stories of idols like Hara, Hangeng, T-ARA... because this idols were victims and where given nothing but hate. Hate that ended their careers or in Hara and Sulli's case, their lives. Hate kills. Haters kill. Not allowing people to live a plenty life, kills. Not allowing people to make mistakes, kills. I hope you read Hara's story and pay attention to female idols with a bad reputation, they're vulnerable in so many ways. And I hope that, in the future, when an idol survives a suicide attempt y'all wont ignore it like you did Hara.

REST IN PEACE🙏💔💔🙏

[oureuphoria]

Liars, Humans and Werewolves, Oh My.

Synopsis: Your father (a werewolf) and your mother (a werewolf) were concerned about your friend-making skills so they made deal with Jungkook to befriend you (a human). He knew he shouldn’t have agreed, he knew from the moment he spoke with you that it would blow up in his face but he genuinely believed what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. It was a friendship founded on lies but to Jungkook it was the realest thing he knew.  or “I don’t study fictional characters for fake friends, Y/N.”

Genre: fluff, angst, crack

Pairing: werewolf!jungkook X  human!reader

Word count: 7.9K

Warnings: I don’t think there is any but lemme know if I’m wrong.

Note: Hiiiii!! Okay, so this oneshot was long overdue I am so sorry but I hope you enjoy. I’m not American and I’m not a werewolf so if any information is inaccurate I sincerely apologise. I proofread but there's a chance there might be some mistakes because I am a fool. 

 You approached your father as he was loading the car. “Why do we have to go?” You whined while also sluggishly lugging extremely large bags into the car to help him. “It’s a learning experience Y/N. Stop whining.” Your face fell at your his stern exclamation but the second he turned around you stuck your tongue out at him. “I just don’t understand the fundamentals of going to New York for 2-weeks just for a stupid party where you, mom and Miri have loads of fun while Henry and I suffer.” He ignored you as he closed the trunk and told you to get in. You were not making the car ride easy and your dad had to threaten to leave you on the side of the road to get you to stop complaining.  

You were fully aware that werewolves were often stigmatised and misunderstood but you couldn’t help but panic a little when you were stuck in a room full of them. Sure, your fear was foolish since both humans and werewolves had been at peace for centuries but for some unrecognisable reason, all knowledge of the peaceful history left your mind the moment you entered the huge hall. Your dad was a human but turned before your mom gave birth to your eldest sister, Miri. She came out a werewolf, you and your younger brother Henry, however, didn’t. Although your sister was considered a full-blooded werewolf (and thanks to your mother an extremely prestigious werewolf at that), you and Henry were outcasts. It was uncommon for human-turned-werewolves to reproduce humans ‘lacking the wolf gene’ and being dragged to this party with your family just reminded you of the fact that you were in retrospect, a failure. At least you had your 14-year-old failure of a brother by your side. 

While everyone coexisted in tranquillity, it was unorthodox for a human to know about werewolves unless they were a werewolf’s mate or in your rare case, a failed human child of two werewolves. You were sure you could never be any werewolf’s soulmate or anyone's soulmate for that matter, your heart was sworn to Netflix and 50 cats. The unorthodoxy of your situation meant that there was always an impenetrable tension between you and werewolves, one that made you extremely uncomfortable. 

Despite all the weird stares and snarls that were hurled your way, your dad was optimistic. He always thought that being a human was great and that these parties were just simply learning curves that you needed to get past. “Henry, if you eat one more cupcake you’ll turn into one. Slow down!” He mocked you before shoving the other half of the cupcake in his mouth. You rolled your eyes and walked away to find him a napkin before you were kidnapped by your father. “Dad, what-“ “Y/N, say hi to the Jeons.” You didn’t really remember the Jeon family that much. All you knew was that your father and Jeon Songwook used to be super close. You also knew that when Songwook later married his beautiful wife, he had 2 children. Junghyun and Jungkook. Junghyun was the eldest and graduated with your sister, he was standing there clad in an expensive suit next to his girlfriend who’d you’d met at the last extravagant party. Jungkook was standing there also clad in an expensive suit with his eyes trained on your sister. You mustered the best smile you could though you were sick and tired of being the family’s pity show and tell story. 

“Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you, you’re the same age as Jungkook right?” You nodded subtly, unsure where this conversation was going. “I heard you got a perfect score on your SAT.” You saw Jungkook’s face morph into one of anger in the corner of your eye. “Dad-“ Before Jungkook could finish his father put his hand on your shoulder. “Walk with me, Y/N?” You looked at your father for help but he just shrugged. Your mother mouthing ‘don’t fuck this up’ at you as you walked past her. “Jungkook, he’s very athletically talented but he’s not the most academically inclined. He got into Princeton but purely on sports and I’m concerned that if he doesn’t get his grades up, he won’t have a back-up plan.” You nodded understandingly, he seemed like a genuinely nice man from what you could tell so you listened to him. 

“What are you asking me to do, sir?” He chuckled at your worried eyes. “Just call me, Songwook, Songy if you want, that’s what your dad calls me.” You let out a small laugh, fighting back the urge to yawn. “I know that you’re going to Princeton too and I also know you’re taking a class in photography. Your dad showed me a couple of your photos, they really are beautiful.” Before you could even begin to thank him he continued. “My son is majoring in corporate law, like you, and I just thought it might be easier for him to start off if he had the support of someone as intelligent as you.” “Sir, I’m really not that smart-” He cut you off with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense, every parent in this room wishes they had a child as smart as you.” You laughed a little harder than last time. You wished that was true but you knew it was quite the opposite. Everyone here was just glad they weren’t raising two humans. 

“So, do you want me to tutor him?” He nodded with a smile and you smiled back half-heartedly. You were already on bad terms with the werewolf society and now you were about to get on the bad side of the human one. Jungkook went to your high school but it was big and you never really talked to him. He was popular, naturally, and the attention that he generated was mostly from girls, also naturally. He was seen as untouchable though, he was nice, polite and a true charmer but he never stayed with a girl long enough to call her his. It felt weird to call him a fuck boy because he didn’t fit the image. He wasn’t reckless or cruel and he wasn’t a complete boneheaded idiot with a lack of morals. He was admirable, truly and from what you had known there was not a single person who hated him. You had a theory that he was emotionally unavailable because he was waiting for his mate but you never spent too long on it, you never really cared enough to.

Songwook walked you back to the cluster that was your merged families and once your family was alone you were bombarded with questions from your parents. “What did he say to you?” You gave them a pointed look to which they gave you a playful slap on the arm. “Hurry!” You took a deep breath creating suspense before ruining all their hopes in one sentence. “He just wanted me to tutor his son.” Your dad elbowed you slightly before letting out a long sigh. “We were worried he was going to ask you to marry Jungkook or something.” You started laughing uncontrollably before stopping abruptly. “What’s Miri doing with him, she knows he’s just into one night stands.” Your father shrugged before your mother interfered. “We warned her but your sister is old enough to make her own decisions.” You scoffed before turning to face them with crossed arms. “So, she can have sex with a guy that you know is going to leave after but I can’t buy a Nintendo Switch? She’s only 2 years and 7 months older than me!” Your parents just blinked at your outburst before they floated away to go impress another family.  

You went to find Henry but he was nowhere to be seen and you literally searched everywhere. He was probably hiding in the men’s room on his phone watching Netflix but you couldn’t just go in there. You saw Jungkook leaning against a wall on his phone so you approached him without really thinking about what you were going to say. “Jungkook!” He looked up from his phone and gave you a tired smile. “This might be a little weird but do you think you can go into the men’s bathroom to see if my brother is in there?” He looked at you with widened eyes, he nodded slowly before making his way to the bathroom, you trailing behind him, he turned around and scratched his neck sheepishly. “Uh…what’s his name again? Sorry, I forgot.” You let out a laugh that you were trying to suppress before letting him know that his name was Henry. 

Once Jungkook made it out, your brother next to him, you gave him a huge beaming smile. “Thank you!” He just nodded in return before making his way off to the bar. “Oh shit, you have a crush on Jungkook!” You turned around to look at your brother with a face of confusion. “What?” You gave him a good slap on the back of the head but he was undeterred. “You totally find him cute.” You rolled your eyes before putting your arm around his shoulder. “Everyone finds him cute. Now, I think I found a way to convince mom and dad to let us buy a Nintendo Switch.” 

You had spent hours with Henry, even though he was 14, you were closer to him then you’d ever be to Miri. That wasn’t her fault though, it just turned out that way. “So, are you going to buy the new Resident Evil game?” You already knew where this was going. “Yeah, so that you can play the entire game before me.” He groaned at your stubbornness, refusing to let that one incident go. “How many times must I say I am sorry?” He was swinging your arm back and forth while exclaiming dramatically. Eventually, though, your parents came back and let you know it was time to go back to the hotel. 

You were moving to New Jersey in 3 days and Henry did not like that. “Take me with you, I can fit inside your luggage if you make a little room.” Henry had been attached to your hip ever since this week had started. “I told you, I’ll kidnap you after I leave so it doesn’t seem suspicious.” He laughed, flopping down on the couch next to you. “I’m going to miss you. I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive as the only person of culture in this household” You furrowed your eyebrows at him. “Dad’s okay sometimes.” He gave you an all-knowing look and you sighed. “Okay so you’ll have to be the only person of culture for a bit but I’ll be back before you know it.”  

Jungkook had avoided you the first week there. Whenever you tried to approach him he’d pretend he was busy or blatantly ignore you. You called your dad for help and he just said he’d talk to Songwook about it but it had been 2 days and he still made you feel like a plague-infested rat. You were in the library, reading over your schedule and trying to make sense of it. You were horribly bored but there was nothing better to do so you sat there and played games on your phone.

“You’re a snitch.” The voice scared you so much you threw your phone and lost at the game. “And you made me lose a chance at beating my high score!” You picked up your phone and looked up to be met with an angry Jungkook. “Yikes, who hurt you?” You went back to your phone but he snatched it out of your hand. “I don’t need your help.” You put your arms up to ‘surrender’ though you had no idea why he was so angry. “I didn’t know, your dad-” “My dad doesn’t care about my grades, just my reputation. You’d know all about damaging your parent's reputation though so no wonder he asked you.” You gulped, that was unexpected. “Gee, thanks.” You packed up whatever you had out on the table as quickly as you could and left. “Fuck…Y/N wait I didn’t mean that!” You heard him yell after you but you didn’t care, this was the one place where you thought you could escape it but your image followed you everywhere as long as a werewolf was there. 

You rented an apartment alone, not wanting to deal with the havoc of dormitories or live with your sister and her chaos. You had saved up enough to maintain yourself for a while, doing small jobs at your dad's law firm sure helped but now you needed a real job. You weren’t too stressed about finding a job yet because you had some time and you were a master procrastinator. What really stressed you out was college. If anyone found out about your ‘background’ everyone would think that you bought your way in and that was the last thing you needed, all you had to do was avoid anyone you knew and remain unnoticed. Which would be hard considering your sister and Jungkook were around.

Thinking about Jungkook was starting to make you mad again so you got up and stretched, ready to unpack the few boxes that now contained your entire life. The apartment came furnished and you had already been up there to get the bulkier stuff settled with your family’s help so now you just had to sort through smaller things which you did with a frown. Once you were done, you expected to feel a sense of completion, excitement even, but you felt nothing. If anything you felt scared. 

It was a Wednesday in your second week of college. You desperately hoped it would go better than your first week though you can’t think of a way for it to go any worse. But of course, the world is full of surprises. “Y/N!” You turned the other way when you saw Jungkook jogging towards you. You tried to walk with as much speed as you could muster but he was an athlete, you should’ve known better. “Y/N, I’m sorry, what I said was horrible.” He stopped in front of you while you looked at your feet. “It’s okay, I won’t snitch. I already forgot about it.” You tried to reason but he clearly didn’t believe you. “Why’d you turn around the other way then?” You stayed silent because you had no good excuse. “Let’s meet for lunch, my treat, I owe you.” You shook your head quickly. “I already ate lunch.” He looked at you weirdly before laughing. “Y/N it’s 8:30, I believe we call that breakfast.” Your face morphed into an embarrassed smile as you wished desperately for the ground to swallow you whole.

“So, you’re an alpha?!” Jungkook gestured for you to quieten down as while he looked around cautiously to see if anyone overheard. “No way, you totally don’t seem like an alpha.” He looked at you with an offended face which you just shook off. “Come on, alphas don’t run after people just to apologise, Jungkook.” 

 “Well, they can.” He retorted with just as much spite as you. “Evidently.” You looked him up and down while you said it and he flicked your forehead in response. You tried to take a bite of your burger but parts of it started slipping out. “I don’t know why they say Miri is the better sister, you clearly have so much class.” He said this while you were trying to eat your now deformed burger but you were not enjoying the scrutiny. “You’re so funny.” You replied mockingly which just made him laugh in return. “So, why the sudden change of heart? You used to look at me like I ran over your dog.” He winced at the memory before putting his fork down. “It was embarrassing, I never asked for help before and it was weird for me. Besides, I didn’t actually need help my dad was just paranoid.” You nodded understandingly because you sure did understand, you hated asking for help just as much as the next guy but you weren’t as well-rounded as Jungkook was, you definitely needed help in some areas. 

“If I was a werewolf, I’d be an alpha, right?” Jungkook gave you one look before laughing obnoxiously, you put a hand on your heard feigning offence. “You’d be a beta.” You were now genuinely offended but pushed that back for the moment to provide room for your curiosity. “Why?” When he looked at you with a playful gaze you were prepared for a snarky comment. “Because people who want to be alphas are automatically betas. You don’t choose your role, your role chooses you.” You gave him a playful nudge into the wall as he was walking you home. “Okay Gandalf, when did you get so wise?” He laughed harder than he should’ve and you gave him a questioning look. “Who even is that?” Your eyes widened in shock. “Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit?” When he still looked at you with the same blank stare you shook your head disappointingly. “Only a nerd like you would reference something from Lord of the Rings.” You nudged him a little harder this time but he was more prepared. “Y/N, I really am sorry about what I said.” You waved him off.  “Admit I’d make the best alpha and I’ll forgive you.” His eyes met yours in an annoyed glare but they still seemed so beautiful to you. You had to tell yourself to stop staring before it got awkward. Maybe Henry was right, maybe you did have a tiny crush on Jungkook, but in reality, who didn’t?

“You’re late.” You quickly sat down in front of him, 15 minutes after you’re appointed time. “I know, I’m sorry. The lecture ran over schedule.” He shook his head in fake disappointment and you sighed before playing along. “A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.” Jungkook looked at you blankly, blinking far too much in an attempt to make you realise how random your references were. “Gandalf, again.” He muttered ‘nerd’ under his breath and went back to his papers. You hit him with your pen. Despite his father’s word, Jungkook was doing well but you had to admit that he was trying a lot harder than he did in high school.

“Thanks for joining me, I didn’t want to study alone.” You peered over your shoulder to look at the group of girls that were staring at him and giggling. “Could’ve asked someone from your fan club.” When he looked up at you in confusion, you cocked your head to the side that they were on and he sighed heavily. “They do that to every guy, trust me.” You nodded your head with a teasing look which he didn’t find amusing but he didn’t say anything after and you grew worried. “Hey, do you mind covering for me for tomorrow’s 2pm class? I have a wolf thing I have to deal with, just tell the professor that I had a meeting with my coach.” You nodded hesitantly, concerned about what had been stressing him out so much but you didn’t press. It had been 2 weeks since your lunch with him and since then you’d found out a handful of things about Jungkook. He was a competitive swimmer, he had a fear of microwaves, he did not hook-up with your sister and he didn’t like sharing information about himself. 

When Jungkook showed up the day after the 2pm class he had to miss, he looked horrible. He had a cut on his lip that was healing and scattered bruises on his face. With how fast werewolves healed, you assumed this was far better than what it had been last night. “You look like roadkill.” You wanted to ask what had happened and if he was okay, but you knew where that would have gone so you skipped the small talk. “Shit, really?” He seemed panicked about what you said which made you even more concerned, it was obvious you were kidding. “No, you look fine just a little beaten. Are you okay?” He didn’t face you so you grabbed his shoulder to make him though when you did you felt a bandage through his shirt. He winced at the contact and you pulled your hand off like it was a hot stove. “Sorry. Jungkook, what happened?” He turned to you and smiled, pulling you by the forearm to your morning class. “There was already a pack here and you can’t have two alphas so I had to fight him. But I won and I’m fine. Trust me, he looks even worse.” You laughed but it seemed half-hearted, you were glad he shared this much though, it was more than you hoped for. 

“So, recap on the class. Professor lost his shit at Daniel because he kept swinging on the chair and fell. We discussed conflict of interest in workplaces so shit got gory and someone walked in drunk. Welcome to Ivy League, huh?” He chuckled but it seemed fake and you wondered if he was even listening. You didn’t press further, you thought he had done enough sharing for that day. “Anyways, I have my photography class now so I’m going to go.” He nodded absentmindedly and you walked away with a clouded mind and a heavy heart. You worry made you realise that you definitely liked Jungkook in a completely non-platonic way. You were royally screwed. 

You had made a friend in your photography class, his name was Berlin and he approached you for help at first which you didn’t really mind, you needed friends anyway. He asked if you wanted to join him after class to take some pictures around the college to help him with his new DSLR. You agreed with a little hesitation, unsure of how he got into the class with that little knowledge about cameras but you didn’t think much of it, his parents were probably rich. He had a black eye too but he told you it was from his martial arts classes and you believed him because it seemed like a genuine excuse. You had explored almost every surface of the giant campus and surprisingly had a lot of fun, it was refreshing to find someone with the same hobby as you. You called it a day at around 6pm, your class having finished at 4pm. You said goodbye and went home, determined to eat the cereal you had been craving. After saying goodbye, you went home to your eerily quiet apartment, you missed Henry. 

“So, how’s college going?” You were eating with your sister who had finally found time for you in her extremely busy schedule. “It’s fine, I hate Professor Golden though.” She laughed, almost choking on her food so you passed her the cup of water. “Thanks. I totally remember hating Professor Golden too, we all made jokes about his last name.” You laughed a little before returning to your food. A thick tension grew in the air, your talks with her were always silent and awkward. You had very little in common. 

“I can’t believe my baby sister is already a college freshman.” She cooed at you and you couldn’t help but laugh. She was almost 3 years older but sometimes she made it feel like 13. “Any college guys you find cute?” Your brain stopped working for a moment and you were unsure if you should tell her. “Come on, you can tell me.” She tried to pry it out of you while you just nervously smiled, trying to avoid her questions. Eventually, you gave up because it wasn’t like her to give up on gossip. “I think I like Jungkook.” Her face dropped dramatically and it made you panic a little. “Miri, what’s wrong?” She held your hand and looked at you sympathetically. “Y/N, he’s a werewolf.” She said something that wasn’t new to you. You’d repeated this to yourself far too many times to count. “I know. I’m not expecting anything to happen, I didn’t even expect this to happen it just did. Besides, I’m not in love with him, I’ll get over it.” You felt judged under her stare but you knew she meant well, no matter how harshly she came off sometimes. “Well, he rejected my advances so I really don’t think he’d be interested in you. I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

Miri said stupid things often. She lacked the emotional filter behind her words and offended people a lot. You grew thick skin thanks to her but this was where you drew the line. Your entire life you felt lesser than her and she promised you that she’d never do anything to make you feel that way and yet here she was, making you feel like you’ll never amount to her prestige. “Sorry, I need to get back I forgot I had a paper due by 5.” You left a $50 bill on the table and left before she could say anything else to potentially worsen the low blow she just gave you. You felt bad for walking away so abruptly, but you were not in the mood to argue with her, not again.

Unfortunately, your plans of moping on the couch all day were ruined when Jungkook had come over after hearing about the failure of a lunch with your sister, however, you spared him the details. “I bought a bag of junk food, McDonald’s and a whole pack of banana milk.” You smiled at him thankfully from your sad position on the couch which you were sure you were chemically bonded with now. “Did you get popcorn?” He was sorting through the bags before turning to you. “And risk dying via microwave? No thanks.” You laughed before getting up to join him. “Wait till I tell your pack that their alpha is scared of microwaves.” He gasped before clasping his heart dramatically. “You wouldn’t dare.” He started chuckling straight after, an adorable smile on his face.

You watched like 3 movies already and Jungkook was yet to feel sleepy, you, however, were seconds away from passing out. You were both on the couch, legs intermingled under the blanket, your head on his shoulder. It was your first time being this intimate with him and you hated how good it felt. “Jungkook, I’m sleepy.” You looked up at him and he smiled sweetly, forcing you to immediately look away. So, much for ‘getting over it’. “I’ll get going then.” He stood up to stretch, you following him. He grabbed his things off of your coffee table and walked to the door. 

“Jungkook, wait!” He turned around as he watched you come towards the door with the pack of banana milk. He fought back a smile as you dropped it into his arms. “Take it, you like them more than I do now.” He chuckled as he watched your eyes intently. “Thank you.” You smiled back at him before realising he was staring at you. Your smile fell as you stared back. “What? Is there something on my face?” You moved your hand to go over your face and he shook his head through hushed laughter. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He had just opened the door when you called out his name and once he turned, you kissed him. He didn’t pull away, just stood there in shock, you first to pull away actually and a flood of regret came crashing into your head immediately after. “Jungkook, I’m so sorry-” Before you could finish he was out the door and you cursed yourself for your spontaneous impulses. 

Jungkook had ignored what had happened miraculously, even during your apology he seemed unbothered. He probably felt bad for you but you were just glad he wasn’t mad or upset, besides, now you could truly focus on trying to get over him. You spent most of the day working on your study notes, trying to memorise stuff as best you could. By the time you stopped, it was already 8pm and you had skipped both lunch and dinner. You scavenged your fridge to look for something edible and settled on a pudding cup. College Y/N was doing great.

At around 9, you got a knock on your door which you cautiously went to answer, after seeing that it was Jungkook through the eyehole you opened the door to let him in, strangely, he was really angry. “What the fuck is this, Y/N?” He held out his phone of you to show a picture of you smiling, the sender being Berlin. “It’s a picture of me, how do you know Berlin? Are you friends?” Your lighthearted tone made Jungkook realise it wasn’t your fault that Berlin decided to get to you and that there was no way you could have known. “Y/N, Berlin is the alpha of the pack I took over, he’s messing with you to get to me.” You were mostly shocked but you also felt a little upset. You genuinely thought he was your friend. “I don’t want you anywhere near him, he’s dangerous.” You shook your head a little. “Sure he may be a little mad at you but we’re friends, I-” “I mean it, nowhere near him.” You held your hand out for him to pass his phone over so you could double-check that it was Berlin. You compared the number to the one on your phone to realise that it was indeed him. “You have his number already, fuck Y/N.” Your face hardened before you turned to him. “Sorry, I don’t have a ‘wolf’s intuition.’” You added air quotes for effect which he didn’t quite appreciate. 

You noticed his wet hair and his gym bag. “Did you just finish training? Jungkook it’s nearly 10pm.” He shrugged, grabbing his phone back from you and crash landing onto your couch. You couldn’t help but wonder how he could look so beautiful all the time. Sure, you always knew that he was good-looking but it felt like you were looking at a completely different man than high-school-Jungkook. He had endearing eyes, they could look so wide at moments and so closeted in others. His lips were soft, perfectly contrasting his sharp jaw, complementing each other beautifully. He was incredibly alluring in so many ways and it was impossible to escape it, no matter how hard you tried.

Jungkook held onto his shoulder, seeming like he was trying to soothe it from pain. You got up from your seat across from him and moved to stand behind him, taking over his hands and rubbing his shoulder for him. “Fuck, you’re good at this.” You hummed in agreement before laughing jokingly. “I am, right? They should call me Dr Bones.” He leaned his head forward to give you more access, ignoring your joke. You could physically feel how tense his muscles were and it made you worry a lot. Jungkook was the type who could work himself to death, stare at his dead body and still claim that he didn’t work hard enough. “Stop, or I’ll fall asleep. Thank you though.” He got up and grabbed his bag from the floor and made his way to the door. He turned around right before he left. “Y/N. I mean it, stay away from Berlin.” You nodded but you weren’t sure how you were supposed to just start avoiding him without seeming suspicious, besides, he was your only photography friend. 

“Hey, Y/N!” Berlin took the seat next to yours like he had been this past week, you didn’t say anything about it because you thought it would be fine but you did begin to regret it when he started whispering to you. “Why so quiet?” You gulped while playing with your camera bag. “I just didn’t get much sleep.” He nodded though you were sure he didn’t believe you. “Meet me behind this building after class. It’s important.” You probably shouldn’t have agreed and you probably shouldn’t have followed through with it but you did because you were an idiot. “You’ve been quiet. Jungkook told you, didn’t he?” You were playing with the sleeves of your jumper when you nodded, he sighed in return. “He took away my pack, my position, it seemed only right that I take something of his.” You gave him a pointed glare, staring at him without a wave of newfound anger. 

“I’m a person if you haven’t realised. Not a pawn in your stupid scheme for vengeance. Whatever you have with Jungkook is between you and him, don’t drag me into this.” You were about to walk back but he stopped you, blocking your way with his arm. “Y/N, don’t make me hurt you. All I want is for you to tell Jungkook to back down from my pack.” You smiled with feigned innocence. “Why don’t you tell him? I thought alphas were supposed to be brave…or did Jungkook take your balls too?” Berlin pinned you against the wall, his hands around the collar of your jumper. “You don’t wanna fight me, Y/N.” You pushed his arms off of you, straightening out your clothes. “You’re right, I don’t but since you so gracefully shared with me your perspective, I feel like I have to.” He laughed mockingly before leaning down to stare directly at your face. “And how do you plan on beating a werewolf?” You smiled again, so sweetly it made Berlin sick. In all honesty, you were terrified. If he called on your bluff this would turn into a complete shit-show, you had no fighting experience, you were all bark and absolutely no bite. 

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” Before you could decipher where the voice came from Berlin was leaning against the wall against you in pain after the fresh punch to his face from Jungkook. When Jungkook’s eyes locked with yours, he cocked his head to the side. “Go.” You would have protested but his face kind of scared you. You walked away, looking over your shoulder every few steps to make sure no one was dead. 

“What the fuck were you thinking? Y/N has nothing to do with this.”  “But she does, doesn’t she…?” Berlin started and Jungkook eyes narrowed. “She’s going to find out eventually and then she’ll hate you for not telling her.” Jungkook grabbed him by the collar while he was still against the wall. “If she finds out, it won’t be from you.” He let Berlin go roughly and glared at him before walking away. “She’s going to hate you, you know!” Berlin screamed but Jungkook continued walking away, unsure of how Berlin even found out about Jungkook’s secret.

“Stripes or no stripes?” Jungkook was making you choose between his endless collection of ties and you were so bored you started counting the dots on a polka-dotted one. “Y/N!” You snapped back into reality and faced him with a sheepish smile. “Sorry…no stripes, makes you look more mysterious.” He nodded before putting his stripped ties to the side. “Why are you so stressed about this dinner, anyway? It’s just my family and your family in some fancy restaurant talking about the same boring things over and over.” Jungkook desperately wanted to tell you what had changed but he couldn’t, not yet. “No reason, I just want to impress your parents.” You gave him a scrutinising look and he just avoided it. “Since when do you care about impressing anyone?” He sighed before snatching his polka-dot tie out of your hands. “Go get ready, we’re going to be late.” 

“Take the next left…and the destination should be on your right.” You spoke while mocking the navigator which just made Jungkook stare at you weirdly. “I’m bad with directions, I live off of this thing.” You held up your phone to gesture to the navigation app before getting out of his car. “Do I look okay?” He asked nervously and you looked at him, he looked much better than okay. He was clad in slacks and a dress shirt, no tie to your distaste. You remembered arguing with him after he had chosen to not wear a tie after all your efforts. His hair was getting longer but you loved it, especially the way he had styled it that night, not to mention the fact that he had his sleeves rolled up and his top few buttons open. You stopped yourself from staring too long by nodding. “Do I look okay?” Your eyes morphed into offended ones when he winced. You scoffed out loud but he just laughed at your reaction. “I’m kidding, you look great nerd, now move it, we’re already 15 minutes late.” You rolled your eyes, mumbling as you walked in. “Maybe if you didn’t make me spend 40 minutes helping you choose a tie…” He elbowed you slightly, reaching the reception desk and asking about your reservation, once you had taken a seat everyone, including Henry, had their eyes on the two of you. 

“Sorry, we’re late,” Jungkook commented, shaking your parent's hands as he sat down. “Wardrobe malfunction.” You joked as you secretly pointed at him. Everyone laughed a little and you were glad you had relieved some of the tension. You saw your brother the day before and boy did he have a lot to tell you, he seemed so excited about this dinner and you were still yet to know why. Now that you were here it seemed like everyone knew something you didn’t. 

“How’s college going, made any friends?” Jungkook’s mother asked, directing it at you. You choked because of the sudden question and scoffed down half the glass of water. “College is fine, I haven’t really been focused on making friends.” She nodded, Songwook laughing before joining in. “I wish Jungkook was the same. He befriended half the entire campus on the first day!” Everyone laughed while Jungkook shook his head jokingly, your mom suddenly called your name. “Y/N, could you grab me another napkin dear, I already spilled wine on mine. Clumsy me!” She giggled but it seemed fake, you wondered why she didn’t just ask a waiter to do it. You stood up to grab one from the desk nonetheless. 

The moment you left your mother leaned in. “Tell us, Jungkook, does she know?” He shook his head, his father joining in. “I’m glad you suggested we make Jungkook befriend her, otherwise we would have never found out.” “Found out what?” Your mom gasped when you were behind her, napkin in hand. The entire table was silent. “Wait...you forced Jungkook to befriend me? Do you think I’m that intolerable?” Jungkook rubbed his palms over his face, the inevitable was coming. “Y/N, we just know how you struggle with making friends and we thought it would be better to start you off with one,” Miri spoke this time with a tantalising tone. 

“So the whole tutor thing, that was a part of this as well? That’s why you were so mad at me about telling my dad that you were ignoring me? Because you didn’t want to fake being my friend?” You directed the question at Jungkook that time and he tried to apologise but you stopped him. “This isn’t about my social skills, is it? You still pity me for being a human so you gave me a werewolf to make me feel better!” You were speaking in a hushed tone so you wouldn’t warrant any unwanted attention but internally all you wanted to do was scream. “Henry, did you know about this too?” When he didn’t reply you scoffed, throwing your hands up in defeat. “Y/N, darling, we-” Songwook had spoken this time but you were quick to cut him off. “Forget it. I’m leaving.” And with that, you grabbed your bag and left. “Y/N come back, I’m your ride.” Jungkook tried reasoning but you were still walking away, your pride clearly getting in the way of your rationality because walking 30 minutes in heels was not rational. 

You stared at your sore feet in your Iron Man pyjamas as you cried to Spongebob, this wasn’t your proudest moment but you liked to think there were worse ways you could’ve handled the situation. Your family (Henry and your dad) kept blowing up your phone so you turned it off and sat not-so-peacefully on your weirdly comfortable couch. You heard a knock on the door and you didn’t open it, already knowing who was behind it. “Y/N, let me in please, I have your food.” The idea of opening the door to Jungkook seemed painful but you were also painfully hungry so you opened it anyway, snatching your food out of his hand. You tried to close the door but his foot jammed it and he pried it open with ease despite you using all your effort to keep it shut. You needed to start bulking. 

After he got in, you gave up and went back to your couch where you wrapped the blanket back around you and continued watching TV, now with food in your hand. “Y/N, I’m sorry but you have to believe me, I genuinely wanted to be your friend ever since we had that first lunch together, I promise.” You didn’t reply, in fact, your reaction (more so the lack thereof) had him thinking he didn’t even say anything at all. He grabbed the remote from your table and turned off the TV. You gave him a fleeting glare but didn’t say anything else. “Y/N.” You didn’t react once again, eating your pasta with aggression. “Y/N, look at me.” He grabbed both of your shoulders so he could turn you to face him. “I mean it, I’m sorry about how it started but I promise I wanted to be your friend.” You put your foot down, your sadness overpowering your hunger. “Wanted is past tense, should I be worried?” You joked but the tear that slid down your face taunted you straight after. You wiped it quickly but before you knew it more were springing down. He moved his hand to softly wipe your tears away and let out a breath of relief when you didn’t flinch away. 

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil. But these are so stop crying, nerd.” You darted your eyes up so quickly the blood rushed to your head. “Gandalf!” He smiled at how excited you were. “I don’t study fictional characters for fake friends, Y/N.” Your excitement fled a little but you smiled at him slightly. “There was a reason we had that dinner tonight.” Your smile fell and your face looked puzzled. “Why?” Jungkook took a deep breath before continuing. “If I tell you, you can’t get mad at me. I kept it from you because we all wanted to tell you tonight.” You nodded a little hesitantly, scared about what he was going to tell you. 

“Y/N, remember that night you kissed me and I walked out?” You nodded, wincing at the memory. “That night, I found out you were my mate.” You inhaled so quickly you started choking. Jungkook pat your back though it seemed useless. Once your cough calmed down, you punched Jungkook on his arm harshly. “You asshole! I spent that entire night sulking because of you.” He laughed but your glare made him stop abruptly. He took both of your hands in his. “I panicked, I wasn’t expecting it to be you.” You thought he was disappointed so your smile turned into an apprehensive one. “Oh…” He grabbed your face by the chin and made you face him. “I wasn’t expecting it but I was so fucking glad it was.” You started feeling bashful under his gaze so you tried to avoid his eyes. “Is that why Berlin was so adamant on dragging me into your issue, did he know too? I let that bitch use my good camera!” Jungkook sighed at the memory of him but he nodded nonetheless. You jumped up from the couch quickly. “Wait, that means I can turn and then people can stop looking at me like I’m an alien!” Jungkook nodded, laughing at your random outburst. “Only if you want to though, you don’t have to decide that yet, we have time.” 

He pulled you back to the couch, this time you landed on his lap. He wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned your head on his chest. “You’re an ugly crier.” You sat up to frown at him but he just pulled you back to his chest. “I lied, it’s just because I never want to see you cry again.” You pinched his arm and he exclaimed loudly. “What was that for?” You laughed before cuddling into him again. “Insulting me for your selfish desires…wait I have pasta!” You sprung out of his lap to go back to eating your food, turning on the TV in the process and Jungkook wondered how he managed to get paired with someone quite as unique as you. 

“I think you’re half-fish.” You said once you saw Jungkook after the swim meet. “If I was would you still love me?” You stopped walking to ponder before shaking your head. He cocked his eyebrow at you before you nodded in agreement with yourself. “I hate fish so, no. Unless you were like a merman, that would be hot. Wait but what if you turn into an actual fish then how-” He pulled you by the arm to continue walking to his car. “I was kidding, Y/N.” You were still stuck in thought. “Yes, but the premise is interesting.” He pinched your cheek in a surprise attack. “Remind me why I’m dating a nerd?” You shrugged before interlocking your hand with his. “Remind me why I’m dating a fish?” He gave you an unamused look which you instantly matched before laughing at him. 

“Can I drive?” You asked, mustering the most convincing face you can create, already in the passenger seat. “No,” Jungkook replied sternly, hoping you’d let it go because his resolve was quick to disappear with you. “Please, I need to practice.” He frowned before whining childishly.  “Y/N, this is a Mercedes Benz can’t you practice on a Toyota or something?” You rolled your eyes at his dramatic rejection but you came up with a better plan. “I don’t know anyone who drives a- wait, do you think your friend Hoseok would teach me? He drives a Toyota.” Jungkook gave you an annoyed look before begrudgingly exiting the car. You got out excitedly as you rushed to the driver's seat. “You’re evil, you know that?” He asked angrily and you nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek which forced a smile out of him. 

The second you started the engine he began tutting in disappointment. “What?” You turned to him annoyed but he just moved over you to grab the seatbelt, clasping it in place and giving you a kiss which you had to pull away from before it escalated. “I did that on purpose because I knew you would do it for me.” Jungkook just hummed in fake agreement but you paid it no mind. You always felt obnoxiously happy each time he kissed you and you were almost sure you’d never stop. “Jungkook?” He turned to expectantly before you gave him a beaming smile. “I love you, fish or human.” He turned away from you, annoyed at your random confession. “Just focus on the road, okay?” You nodded dutifully and about 5 minutes into your drive home, he randomly called your name. “What, did I turn 0.3 seconds too late?” You joked but he just stared at you. 

 “I love you too, nerd.”

[yoonia]

About Time // Part 17

Character: Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

↳ Type/Genre/words | Angst, Fluff, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au/Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au), Mature/+18 only / 10k words

↳ Prompts | “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

↳ Summary | Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

↳ Warnings | mentions of cancer, (probably) inaccurate medical and law terms

↳ Author’s Note | This chapter was initially longer, but I had to split it into two parts to make it easier to read because some parts may be a bit...too much to handle in one reading. I hope the next chapter can be posted right after this one. Enjoy!

↳ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Series Index: About Time | Next Chapter ⇢

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2027—

While it seemed like I was stuck in place, that time and everything around me had stood still, I could still feel it as the world outside continued to evolve.

Though it might sound contrary to what I had wished for, I had kind of expecting for Jungkook to still be relentless on trying to see me or contact me for him to get what he wanted. I had prepared myself in case he would show up here in the hospital with another surprise visit or to give me continuous text messages and phone calls to remind me of his threats. Yet almost a week had passed, and he had yet to give me any of it.

Instead of smothering me and haunting me like I had thought he would, Jungkook only did the other way around. He disappeared.

By the time the week was coming to an end, as time kept moving stealthily slow between days of treatments, medications, and scheduled therapies, I finally got myself the surprise visit that I had been anticipating for.

Only it was not Jungkook who came to see me.

It was his older brother.

Jeon Junghyun had always been the level headed one out of the two brothers. He was the one person that Jungkook would run to whenever he needed help, the only voice of reason that could have made a lot of differences if only Jungkook would do just that whenever he was facing a problem, instead of running to his old friends that could only give him all the wrong solutions.

At some point in my marriage, Junghyun had even taken my older brother’s place as my confidant, and sometimes, as a mediator to help me communicate with either Jungkook or his family. He would always come to me with open arms and listen to all of my troubles whenever I needed someone to talk to, giving me all the right advices and the right answers which I could not get from other places.

I could not exactly remember how the two brothers had drifted apart. The only thing I knew was that the moment Junghyun stopped appearing in our lives, that was when everything came tumbling down.

“You should have come to me,” he said to me as he sat down next to the bed, after we had gone through all the unnecessary pleasantries as if we were two strangers instead of the close related in-laws we once were.

It was obvious that he was not completely sure about coming in here alone. While seeing him here, watching how his eyes grew wide as if he still could not believe he would find me here when he first entered the room, to the moment his gaze softened with concern, I started to feel guilty for not letting him know about what had happened. The problem I had was with Jungkook, and it was not fair for me to bring his family down with it.

But I was not about to say that to him. Not when I was not sure whether he would be taking his brother’s side or mine.

“And what good would that be?” was all that I could say, though I could not help but give him a sad smile. “You can’t always fix everything, Junghyun. Certainly not this.”

Junghyun shook his head slowly. The grim look he had on his face told me more about what he was feeling at the moment. “I could have been there for you so you won’t have to face everything alone. If only I’d known—”

“I was not alone. I had Yoongi who helped me reconnect with my brother,” I cut him off and winced when he looked up at me with eyes full of shock. Sighing, I continued with a softer voice, ”Hoseok has been here for me through everything. They had already done more than what your brother could’ve given me,”

“I know what Jungkook did,” he said, after giving me a bit of silence.

“Did you?” my voice came out small. I knew I should not have blamed him for what his brother had done, but I had to know. “Did you know about it when it happened?”

Once again, Junghyun shook his head. “He wasn’t talking to me then,” he said, sighing deeply. His eyes were full of remorse as he ran his hands through his meticulously styled hair. “I had to force it out of him to know what he did the day we met. He came to our family lawyer, saying that he needed to discuss some stuff. When I found out that he was talking about divorce papers, I knew something was wrong, so I ambushed him at the lawyer’s office and forced him to tell me everything.”

Rubbing his hands over his face, he told me how his brother confessed to all of his faults — from abandoning me after the day of my last miscarriage, about how he had left me feeling neglected while he searched for comfort on alcohol and another woman without putting me or our marriage in his mind. The more he spoke, the more he looked as if he was also hurting from what Jungkook had done, if not disappointed at his brother for making so many mistakes altogether.

“Do you know what he’s doing to me now?” I asked him once he was done talking, after he muttered a few apologies as if he could have done something to undo everything or stop them before they had ever happened.

There was no need for him to say anything for me to know the answer. Jungkook was backed up by their family lawyer, after all.

“He loves you so much.”

I could not hold back the laughter that came bubbling from my throat. “And yet he torments me for it.”

Junghyun sighed. As if it was the only thing he could do when he was just as lost as I was in finding a way to deal with all of this. “He was sheltered all through his life until he found you,” he said, as if his words could make a difference. “He grew up having people fixing his problems for it so the only thing he knew what to do was to ignore them until they go away.”

“I knew that,” I told him with a scoff, holding back from reminding him of how many times in the past I called out Jungkook for that trait. And how many times I had to remind myself that no matter what I had done, there would be something about Jungkook that would never change. “And yet—”

I keep coming back to him.

Closing my eyes, I looked past the rage and the hatred that I had felt stronger for Jungkook during the past few days. With him not appearing before me to remind me of all the threats he had given me, I was beginning to resent him less and less for what he said to me that day.

Though it did not erase the pain that I still felt from his betrayals. “Still doesn’t explain why it was so easy for him to find someone else to fuck with if he really had loved me so much.”

This time, Junghyun shared the same disappointment and pain in his eyes when he groaned. “That one, I cannot explain.”

As we exchanged gazes in our silence that fell after, it felt like we had something to agree with. It was no denying that there was nothing left for us to fix. The only thing we could do was to move on and Jungkook was the one making it hard for both of us to get out of this standstill, to be able to protect what was left of us.

If he would keep this up, there would be nothing left of us but specks of dust and bitter memories of each other.

“You have always been so forgiving,” Junghyun muttered with a bitter smile.

“And for that, I had enabled him to do things as he pleased because of how much I loved him. The fear of losing him was much stronger for me to look the other way,” I admitted, closing my eyes as I began blaming myself for letting me be in this position.

“And now?”

I scoffed. “Look at me. I don’t have anything left. I’ve run out of things to break and if he breaks me again—I’m not sure if I can survive it,” I said, pointing at myself — mostly on the way I was motionless on the hospital bed and everything else attached to my body after my last chemotherapy the other day. “All I want is to have whatever chance I could get—no matter how small—to be happy.”

“But not with him.”

I looked over and was relieved to find that Junghyun was looking at me with curiosity, not that he was demanding me to forgive his brother and give him another chance, but just to understand what it was that I wanted.

“I can forgive him. I will always be able to. You know that,” I told him, smiling bitterly.

“But I can’t forget. He had hurt me too much and I have kept all these wounds inside me for far too long. The only way for me to heal and to continue living, even with the limited amount of time I might have left, is for him to let me go.”

That night, I told Jimin about the surprise visit and the conversation I had with Jungkook’s brother as we lied down on my bed.

At this point, nearly the entire hospital staffs had known about our affair. At least, those who were working on our floor, since both of us had stopped being discreet about it.

Thankfully, things were just the same as the time when we used to slip into each others’ rooms after our treatments. Nobody reacted negatively when they found out. Except for a couple of the strict staffs that would give eyes the stink eyes when they saw Jimin leaving my room in the morning, the other nurses and some of the security staff on this floor had only given us knowing looks and light scoldings about him leaving his room without permission, but did nothing more to stop us to share the bed. The last warning we had before tonight came from the night shift nurse who came by in her rounds and said, “Just be careful about breaking the bed,” while raising her brows knowingly. “And we’re not taking any responsibility if you kids get into trouble.”

Jimin and I laughed about her warnings when he came in, before his brows creased the moment he heard about Junghyun coming to see me and after I told him all that we talked about regarding Jungkook.

“He promised to talk to his brother, to convince Jungkook to make the right decision instead of making things a lot worse,” I told Jimin as he got worried, thinking that perhaps Junghyun had come in as a reinforcement to take Jungkook’s side when he only left after promising me that he would do the best he could to change his brother’s mind about the papers.

“You know that he can’t really take things to court. He can’t do that with your condition and when the documents you have handed for the divorce are legit,” Junghyun had told me, helping me to calm my thoughts a little. “I’ll work with your brother before he comes in to see our family lawyers. Pretty sure I can have our lawyer prepare another offer and make a better a deal that works for the two of you in the future.”

Jimin tucked my head against his shoulder. I could feel his hand running down my thinning hair, soothing me while he was listening to me speak. Though I partly believed that he needed that contact to calm himself down at the same time.

“If only I’d known what I had put myself into—” I wondered loudly while my mind traced back to all the decisions I had made which led me to this point.

Jimin chuckled bitterly beside me. “Remember what I said about turning back time? Whenever I wonder about the same thing, I always try to imagine if I could change anything I’ve ever done if only I had a chance to do it.”

Scoffing at the thought, I looked up to him. “Really? You think about changing your past?”

“Don’t you?” he asked me, raising his brows questioningly as if he already knew what my answer would be.

“You’re right. I do think about things like that randomly whenever I have some regrets,” I murmured softly, admitting for the first time that I had always thought about all the things that I would have done differently if I had to look back into the past.

“Can’t help it,” he said, sighing deeply while pressing his lips on the top of my head. “I guess that’s how our minds cope with all the terrible things we’re dealing with at the present time. To make us think that it’s possible to change things to make us feel less worthless and to stop us from wallowing too deep into all the regretful things we’d gone through.”

“If you could turn back time, what would you wish for?” I asked him. “Would you do things differently?”

Humming, Jimin looked up to the ceiling with a dreamy look in his eyes as he answered me, “There are a lot of things that I wish I could change. Maybe I could still do some things that I loved to do, but do it differently. I’d stay in school, keep in touch with my family, fall in love—”

“So you wouldn’t have to meet me?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Jimin cut me off, chuckling when I playfully pushed him away. He took me into his arms, pressing his lips on mine to drown our shared laughter.

I was ready for a gentle kiss, something that he would usually do just to shut me up. I was not expecting him to suddenly push through, to have his tongue penetrating through the seams of my lips, devouring me instead of just taking it easy with a simple kiss.

The kiss lasted longer when I got lost in it, then I felt the heaviness in the air building up the moment he pulled himself back. There was something in his eyes that I could not read. Something dark and cold, and it made me want to wrap my arms around him and never let go.

As if I was not the only one there that was left with broken pieces.

“I wish I could have found you first,” he said, tears curtained his eyes. “Perhaps it would have saved us both all the heartache, all the pain, and I could have made you happy. We could love each other and take care of one another without any worries, without being so scared of being wronged.”

I looked into his eyes searchingly, when his words triggered something inside me. Like there was a thread inside my chest that began to grow tight. It tightened, pulling itself up until it was clogged in my throat. I had no idea what it was.

Regret? Hope? Or was it the wounds from the past opening itself to remind me that there would never be a chance for me to rewind everything. That there was nobody else to blame for all the pain I have had to endure all these years but myself.

Jimin tipped my chin gently, wordlessly demanding for my attention. “How about you? Would you do things differently?”

My lips curled down to a bitter smile. I had to choose my words wisely to be able to share what I was feeling. Then I decided that the only way I could properly heal was to be honest with myself and face the bitter truth.

“I would have made different choices, yes,” I told him, looking deep into his eyes to say what I needed him to know about me the most. “I loved him, you know. He was the first person who had taught me about love, how to love, and made me feel loved. I thought he felt the same, but—”

But—

Why?

I have questioned myself the same thing over and over again, wondering why things had gone so wrong.

Jimin’s eyes were full of sorrow when he returned my gaze. “He wouldn’t be fighting so hard to get you back if he didn’t feel the same about you, love.”

Whatever it was that I was expecting to hear from him, certainly was not this. But it was enough to have me ask all the questions that I kept asking myself, everything that I never had the answers to.

“But why did he hurt me? Why does he keep doing these things?”

Why would he make my life feel miserable when all I have ever done was to love him and protect him with everything I had, even when everyone else had forsaken him, when people had forsaken us for being together?

“Why only fight for me now, after everything has been done, instead of then, when I needed him the most?”

Jimin brushed a thumb across my cheek, catching the moisture that had fallen without me realising it happening. “Because he’s desperate. He was lost and now he has no idea how to fix his own mess. Honestly, nobody can really tell the reason why but himself.”

I opened my mouth, quickly closing it again when I failed to find any word to respond to him with. He continued to caress my cheek and I instinctively rubbed my face against his palm, relishing the way he was calming me down. I felt bad about throwing all of this on him, but I was surprised to find him supporting me instead of pushing me away.

He was willing to listen and lend his shoulders for me to cry on, to reach out and willingly put his arms around me to shelter me in his embrace. And I felt extremely selfish for taking it all from him.

“When you talk to him again, ask him all the right questions so both of you can find the answers. Even if he finally gives in and lets you go, you probably wouldn’t be able to move on without knowing exactly what is going on in his mind. It will be hard for you to stop questioning things when you have absolutely no idea why he did all the things he had done.”

He was right. I knew he was and I knew that he was just saying all the things I should have known already but had slipped my mind when I was dealing with the situation with my emotions instead of using my head.

His words opened my eyes and I could feel the weight that had been filling my chest slowly being lifted.

“But you have to know this—” he suddenly added, right before I could even say anything. “No matter what his reasons were, they were never your fault. It wasn’t your fault that he hurt you. It was never your fault to feel so broken. And it was certainly not your fault when he broke your heart and your trust each time you gave him second, third, and many more chances by forgiving him and letting him back into your life. It’s always hard for someone to forgive others when they are hurt. Yet you have such a big heart to be able to forgive someone like that and welcome him with open arms. It’s his fault to take that for granted.”

“Why do you always have the right words to say?” my voice was small, cracking at the end of my words. But it was easy to notice how I was slowly healing. Not entirely. Not yet. But being able to speak about my problems and not dwell on them on my own truly helped.

This time, the smile he gave me reached his eyes. I could feel it and see it from the way he was looking at me before he finally said the words, “Because I love you.”

His words sent sparks fluttering inside my chest. It came to me so suddenly that I sucked my breath, and he caught my lips just as the first sob escaped me. Instead of crying, I found myself once again drowning in him and I leaned in for more, to let him devour every part of me that needed release until I could feel myself whole again through his touch.

“If only I had met you first—” he whispered to me when he pulled away, keeping his forehead pressed against mine. It was the same wishful thinking that he kept telling me, the same words we kept saying to each other. But this time, it felt somewhat—blissful, instead of feeling bittersweet to think about it.

“What would you do if we had?”

Jimin sighed. “I can’t promise you that we wouldn’t have some hard times. You know how stubborn I can be at times,” he said, making us both chuckle. “But I will never give up so easily and walk away when problem comes between us. I would never do that to you.”

From the past half of year I had known him, I knew that Jimin would never lie to me, even if it was only to make me feel better. I could see it in his eyes that he was telling me nothing but the truth. And right at that moment, just as we lost ourselves in our gazes, I felt something inside me that was begging me to do just the same, to only give him the truth and to always be honest with him.

Especially about what I was feeling.

“I love you, Jimin.”

Another day came passing by, another guest came to give me a surprise visit.

This time, though, the surprise was welcomed. Even if I clearly was not expecting to see her there.

She came in when I was snoozing off the exhaustion after my morning routines—the physical therapy and blood test which was taken to see how well I was hanging on after I had gotten the last drug pumped into my system. I was doing fine this morning. Yet on that afternoon, I woke up to a pain in my stomach. It had me clenching my hands tight but surprisingly felt no urge to throw my lunch out of my belly.

That was a first.

As my eyes slowly cleared out of the haze, that was when I finally saw her.

It was like looking through a piece of an old portrait the way I found her. Perched at the edge of my bed, she had her back facing the window, allowing the silver strands combing her dark hair to glow under the sunlight. She had yet to notice me awake as she had her head down, humming softly as she was peeling a tangerine so patiently and cleaning it up before placing them on a plate.

Just like the way she used to do it back when she was nursing my ailing mother.

“K-Kara?”

She nearly let go of the fruit in her hand at the sound of my voice, but managed to place it back into its basket as she moved to reach my hand. “Oh, baby—you’re awake,” she said, looking at me with her misty eyes. I knew then that some time while she was watching me asleep, she must have been crying.

The endearment she was giving me made me smile though, completely distracting me from her rattled state. “I’m not a baby, Kara. I’m about 30, after all,” I told her with a smile as I pushed myself up to sit.

Yet she scoffed and waved her small hand at me. “Almost. But not yet. It’s nowhere near your birthday yet,” she told me, smiling as she did, before a frown came to her face the minute she heard me clearing my dry throat. “What do you need? How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty,” I told her, frowning, and she was quick to leave her seat to help me with a glass of water.

“I peeled some tangerines for you,” she said as I slowly drank my water, waking myself up from the drowsiness which still remained. “Your friend—he told me that tangerine helps ease the bitterness on your tongue and might stop you from getting nausea before mealtime. Though he did warn me not to let you eat too much so you can still have your meal.”

“My friend?” I looked up to her, creasing my brows as I tried to think of someone who might have been there while I was sleeping. Hoseok had been absent as he was busy with a case at work while Yoongi was busy on his own projects to deal with. Which only left one other person. “Oh, was Jimin here?”

“Yes, Jimin. That’s his name,” Kara told me while sitting down next to the bed, grabbing the basket of tangerines back onto her lap to finish what she was doing. “He came by just when I got here and passed me these fresh, sweet looking tangerines. Told me that he would usually peel them for you whenever he is here to watch over you while you are sleeping.”

“Oh—”

My cheeks started heating up as if I was a teenage girl getting caught having her first boy crush. Or her first boyfriend. Kara must have caught on to it as she lifted her eyebrows.

“Someone special?”

I looked down, smiling to my lap. “Sort of,” I said. Then I remembered back when I was a teenage girl, when Kara used to sit in the dining room with my mother, sipping tea while they would gossip around on the neighbours and their old high school friends. And I remembered how Kara was the one to tease me when I got home with a boy the first time.

“We’re sort of seeing each other now,” I finally told her. Though judging from the way she was smiling, she could probably tell it was the case already.

Leaning forward, she passed me a plate of peeled tangerines for me to eat and asked me, “Tell me about him.”

And I did.

The next thing I knew, we began talking so normally and easily like we used to so many years ago. Starting from Jimin and how our relationship had grown, the funny stories I have had since I got into the hospital, and reminisced a few memories of my teenage years—skipping all the bad memories and the horrible parts of our past—all while we ate the tangerines Jimin had left behind and I had even managed to eat some soft cookies that Kara had bought for me.

Everything felt so comfortable and I felt so in peace. Everything just felt so right. And suddenly, all the painful memories between us—the fights, the resentment, and the disappointment I felt—seemed like they had never existed.

“What is it?” Kara asked me when she heard me chuckling to myself. Her smile was warm and her eyes were bright as if the sound slipping out of my lips were the most wonderful thing she had ever heard.

“Nothing, it’s just—” I chuckled some more, shaking my head for thinking about this. “It’s just that I’ve been lonely for so long and now suddenly—suddenly, everyone keeps coming back into my life. I’ve been getting the most random visits from the people that I had least expected. It’s just surprising, and funny, to think about. That’s all.”

“People come and go from our lives. It doesn’t mean that it would be impossible to reconnect. Even if it takes years,” she reached out to grab my hand. “Just like us.”

Her eyes grew misty yet again as she pulled back. “And it’s nothing wrong to let people back in once you are ready. No matter how well we are when we are alone, we still need people on our side. People to accompany us as we walk on our path and to lead us to where we need to go.”

I chose not to say anything, though I could hear Jimin’s words echoing inside my head.

“It goes to show that no matter how much you’ve pushed people away, at least some of them would find their way back to you.”

The only question which remained was—had it been too late for me to let my people in?

Kara came back the next day. Visiting me on her own again.

I didn’t think much of it when she came by the day before without my father, knowing how our last encounter had ended up. The last talk I had with my father may have ended with a truce, but it did not necessarily mean that we had reconciled the relationship that was once left broken. He had even stopped calling me on the phone after a while, though the only thing he said to Hoseok was that he had been busy with work.

When I saw Kara sitting there with drowsy eyes, I knew something was wrong. It didn’t take long before she finally confirmed it. All I had to do was told her about what I was going through with the divorce, before she finally admitted that she was going through the same thing. Or, at least, she was considering it.

“You’re divorcing my father?”

Kara’s lips curl down to a thin line. “Nothing official yet. I just—I just have been thinking about leaving him. That it would be best if we separate before things fall apart.”

There was a nagging feeling brewing inside my chest. All because I saw something familiar in the way she talked about him. I saw the same look on my mother when she told me about my father’s affair a long time ago.

“What happened?”

Kara pursed her lips together and looked away. A heavy sigh escaped her just as she began to speak, “At first, things just remained the same. His work always comes first. He still travels a lot for his business, opening shops here and there, attending off-shore meetings, visiting new places—” her voice trailed and her whole body started shaking as she took a deep breath. “I’ve always understood that he has his priorities straight and nothing has ever changed. He’s still the same caring, loving man, always tends to my needs and spends his time with me. Even if he spends just as much time at home as he does staying out.”

She looked at me, and her eyes grew misty. “Then I noticed that lately, he seemed—happier. I had thought it might have been something about you, because he’s been keeping contact with you. He spends time in the kitchen a lot, enjoying his moment there as he tries different recipes every night, cooking for me,” she says with a soft chuckle, and I suddenly picture him there—just like how I had found him the day I went back home to visit, when he cooked us dinner.

“He’s also been spending time at the gym,” she laughed. “Can you believe it? Your Dad, who had never cared about how he would look like, suddenly beginning to care about appearance.”

No, I could never imagine my father being at the gym, keeping his figure as if he was not an ageing parent. I should be laughing with Kara, thinking about him with wonder. But her laugh was bitter and I suddenly knew where this was heading. So I bit my tongue and kept silent.

“I thought he was trying to keep himself looking good so he can make me happy. He’s been joining me on a few gatherings, meeting up with the neighbours, coming with me to meet up with some of our friends,” she sighed. And that was when her mood changed. “But, that’s not the case with your Dad, is it?”

No, it was not. And I still said nothing.

“I went to his office one day before he was supposed to go on his business trip. It was the first time I met his new assistant. His very much younger assistant. Curvy, young, fresh, with thick hair and soft makeup and a coy smile that I knew your Dad would love,” she said with a faraway look in her eyes. “I should’ve seen the signs. I knew that man for years and I still failed to see it. Or maybe I did, but I just refused to see it as it was.”

A sense of bitterness came over me. I could not understand the nature of the rushing emotions that came bubbling up, for I had no idea what to think or feel about the ordeal my stepmother had found herself in. Should I be happy, for karma finally showing itself? Should I feel guilty and shameful for even thinking that way? Or should I feel sad for her?

“Did you think that you could change him?”

Kara shrugged, looking defeated. “I honestly don’t know what to believe. Maybe I was too naive,” she sighed. “I’ve never told you this, but I still blame myself for the pain we caused to your mother. Yet I stayed and I kept telling myself that he still needed me. I kept making myself believe that your mother never knew about what was going on between us. But after your visit, you opened my eyes and I knew that I had only been lying to myself. I should’ve also reminded myself what kind of man he is, but—”

Even after years of not seeing my own father, there was no possible way I could forget who he was and what kind of man he was.

Jungkook may have his reasons to hurt me. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I knew that he had his own reason on why he kept making terrible mistakes after another and why he had tormented me in the end, all because I knew his flaws. And it was the reason why I had always try to be the better and stronger person to give him a chance whenever he promised to do what was right until he could no longer keep his own words.

But that was never the case with my father.

The reason why he cheated was simply that. He was just a cheater who did so only because he could.

“So what now? What are you going to do now if you’re not coming home to Dad?”

“I went back to live with my parents,” she said, suddenly looking brighter now that she was talking about her plans. “And I’ll be renting a place downtown so I can be with you.”

Shaking my head, I refused to take her offer. I had witnessed what my mother had to go through and I knew how I felt with what was going on with me now to know better than to let her focus on me instead of getting her life back together. “You should focus on yourself. You don’t have to—” I stopped, pondering my next words a little before I voiced out my doubts. “If you’re here to help me because you are looking for redemption, then—”

“No, that is not what I’m looking for,” she sternly said, pointing her finger at me the way she used to whenever she had to chastise me in place of my mother. “I’m here because I want to. Even before I married your father, I had already looked at you as if you were my own daughter. I had already loved you then, and it had never changed no matter what had happened between us.”

Great. I was not expecting to be the one choking out with emotions after what she had spilled on me, but I did. Once again, I was reminded of the good old days, back when she was just coming to our house to spend time with my mother while my father was away on his trips and meddled with my teenage crushes because I could not talk about it with my parents. Back then, she was my Mom’s best friend who acted more like my favourite aunt and an older sister instead of the woman who had stolen my father away from us.

“I’ve lost so many years of knowing you, of being with you. I refuse to lose any more of it,” she said, this time choking with the same sobbing emotion as the one brimming inside me.

“What if I don’t get better, then what—”

She pressed a finger to my lips, shutting me up. Though her stern attitude was nothing compared to the look she was giving me through her gaze. She was not only looking at me with pain in her eyes. There was something else there when she looked at me. A look that she had been trying to conceal by forcing herself to be hopeful and full of joy.

It was fear.

Fear that I could feel rushing out of her when she spoke with her voice shaking emotionally, “I will take whatever I can get as long as I am here with you. You hear me? I’m not walking away from you and leave you be when you need help. Never again.”

It was happening again.

The highs and lows of my life just kept on coming to me like strong waves taking over the ocean.

Just when I felt things were going great, when I felt hopeful enough to make future plans, things instantly fell short to make sure it would never happen.

I was supposed to be getting better.

I was supposed to be planning my life ahead, of trying to find a place for both Jimin and me to try and continue to live like regular people. We were supposed to be on our way to find houses with big yards and white picket fences for both of us, looking through pictures of dogs or cats in the animal shelters for us to adopt.

Instead, here I was, waking up with more pain. At the end of the week, instead of feeling better and proving to the doctor that I would be able to live independently, I had only gotten worse, much worse, and I finally woke up at my lowest point one morning that I dreaded ever waking up at all.

“Tell me how you’re feeling,” Kara asked me when she found me curling on the bed. With tears flowing out as my body temperature was high with a fever.

“I’m fine,” I whispered, closing my eyes when the lies burned my tongue. Though I knew it was not the words I said which was hurting me. It was my own body, falling apart to the demon that had been eating me up inside.

“The doctor said he will come back with the test results and update us about what is going on,” Kara said as she passed the lunch tray. I could tell how hard she was trying to stay calm, but her own hands betrayed her when they kept shaking while she was preparing for my meal. “In the meantime, try to eat a little.”

“I can’t,” I told her, closing my eyes when talking alone felt too painful for me to do.

I tried to wet my lips, but it would do nothing to lessen the dryness and the patches on my drying lips. I tried putting on chapsticks and had even tried to put on the various types of lip balms that Kara had bought me. Nothing. I also had blisters inside my mouth which made it hard for me to eat anything.

“I remember when your mother had that too. I think soft pudding and soft ice cream helped her a lot back then. That’s why I figured I should get some for you so you could at least have some snacks,” Kara said as she pulled a few snacks out of the grocery bag that she had brought with her today.

My stomach was churning with both nausea and hunger, but I snatched the pudding anyway and forced myself to eat.

“Well?”

Swallowing slowly, I nodded timidly. “As long as I don’t have to chew, I might be okay,” I said with relief as I gobbled a few scoops of the pudding without a problem, though only seconds after the final word was out, I instantly winced in pain.

“The doctor better be here quick before I drag him down here myself,” Kara hissed, clenching her hands before she helped me open another container of the sweet pudding she bought me while I kept quiet.

We were scheduled to see the doctor today, but not for the reason of finding out what was wrong with me. We were supposed to talk about our plans for getting me out of here. After I had told Kara about what Jimin and I had planned, she had taken it upon herself to meet the doctor and requested that he would consider it, while also offered to take up the role as my guardian and caretaker if the hospital was willing to approve my release and make me take all the treatments as an outpatient like I used to.

With what had been going on since I woke up this morning, I already knew that we would be talking about all the different things and that I would not be getting all the answers I wanted.

Two containers of soft pudding and a small cup-sized of soft ice cream later, a nurse in her blue scrub came into the room and prepared me to take a trip downstairs. There was nothing much she could say when I asked her about it, only that the doctor needed me to take a quick visit down the lab before meeting him, and that he had something urgent to say to me after I had some blood work done.

All the way down to the doctors’ lobby with the nurse and Kara at my side, I had instantly felt it.

The dream of having a normal life shattering the closer I was to meet Dr. Kim. No more hopes for having a house with a beautiful white picket fence around it, no more hopes of building a peaceful life with Jimin.

I was sure of it even without the doctors confirming it for me beforehand when I could already feel it. After continuous chemotherapy and radiation, the strength and positive outcome that I was feeling slowly became null. I was feeling the pain again, I had no progress against the increasing pain and drowsiness I was feeling, and after a few days of finally being able to move freely on my own without anyone else’s assistance, I was suddenly becoming immobilised.

Pretty sure it was for that reason Dr. Kim had invited me to visit him in his office instead of having him come to my room as usual. There had been many changes happening already to make me feel cautious and tense. Like how today’s drug treatment was cancelled and how the schedule for my radiation—which was supposed to happen right before I was being released—was moved to an undefined future date.

The minute I sat right across from the doctor right in front of his desk, I already knew that he had come here bearing unpleasant news before he even said anything.

I could tell by the way he entered the room without even looking my way, and also from the quick exchange of glance he made with Kara as he was taking his seat behind his desk. And then there was the sigh which escaped his lips when he looked down on his notes. The deep sigh which he would always make each time he knew he was about to disappoint someone with what he was about to say. He even wore the grim look on his face, one which had his brows furrowing so deeply it made him look extremely tired and older than he actually was.

At least he had his white hospital coat disposed of before he sat down, giving me a leeway to treat him like a friend. Just the way he wanted me to.

Except that he had yet to raise his face to look at me. He still had his eyes down as he flipped through the folder on his desk, my full name imprinted on its front cover and right on the top of the papers which looked similar to my previous test results.

“Lay it on me, Doc. What’s the verdict?”

Dr. Kim lifted his face and smiled. “It’s Seokjin, remember? I’m off-duty the minute that coat is off,” he said, pointing at the coat hanged right at his door with his thumb as he winked playfully. For a moment there, the tension in the room lessened with his cheekiness. Only briefly, and then it fell back in place when his cheeky smile turned into his signature regretful one.

His silence made me wonder if he was planning to take it easy, going on a round route of giving me nice words and some positive news to distract me from the negative ones. But he knew me well enough at this point to know that it would never work on me. Enough to know that I would prefer for him to be honest instead of giving me false hopes.

“Alright—” he started, sighing once more as he straightened himself on his seat, bracing himself for what he was about to say. “I know that I had promised to keep you updated with your progress and see if we could get you out of here. You know how much I hate to do this, but I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

Raising my brows, I could only guess what this meeting was all about and what the doctor was trying to tell me. “You’re denying my request of getting released from the hospital.”

“I’m so sorry about this, and it’s not that the hospital is completely denying to let you continue as an outpatient, which I believe you could, or that I don’t trust you to nurse ______,” he said, glancing at Kara on this part before he turned back to look at me. “I do trust your family to keep an eye on you while you are out there. It’s just that this is going to have to wait.”

“How so?”

“A new progress has occurred after our last test and with your current condition, it seems impossible to let you go before giving you another treatment.”

“Just one treatment?” I asked him while trying to figure out what he might be planning for me.

Seokjin nodded solemnly. “Just as predicted, the cancer has stopped responding to your treatments. The chemo did well at first, and your body reacted the way it should until it didn’t, even with the new drug we have added in the mix. The cancer seems to be fighting back, and we’re beginning to worry that the radiation will not be able to keep up with how fast it is growing.”

Kara reached for my hand and clenched tightly. “So, what’s our option?” she asked the doctor. Her presence comforted me, but I could not deny that I was wishing to have my brother here with me to hear this news with us instead of having to wait until I could break it down to him later.

“Your first option would be to go through radiation if only we could get it sooner than we had it planned. The X-ray photos we took from you after the last radiation showed great results, but we can’t do it simultaneously, and the pain you have been experiencing only indicates that the mass seems to keep on growing during the spare time we have between treatments. So we’ve been talking about placing you in surgery,” he said, as if he had it all figured out.

“After looking through your family history and your mother’s case, we have found that you share the same T-cells as your mother, and it seems that the cancer is building up around it the same way it did with your mother. If I’m right, it will resume to progress the way it did with your mother. The only way I can give you clearance is if we go ahead with the surgery and see if we can take it out before it gets any worse. But—” Seokjin stopped for a moment, having quite a hard time to choose his words. “—with the size of the mass growth we have now and where it is situated, the risk would be too high.”

Kara’s grip on my hand tightened, and I could have never been more grateful to have her there so she could keep me grounded. The new information was making my head spin.

“Your body is still recovering from the vigorous chemotherapy treatments you have been put through so we’re supposed to wait until you are ready to get you to another drug treatment or the upcoming radiation. But like I said, it’s a race against time. The cancer is getting aggressive and if we don’t move fast to remove it, it might progress further into the next level of its metastasis. It could either spread into a wider area, or—it would strike you at your fatal points.”

I knew that he was trying to tell me everything there was to know about my disease. But I hated the fact that he sounded like he was trying to persuade me into agreeing and let him cut me open to get this thing out of my body. And I hated that he made it seem like I had no other option.

“How—how bad would the spreading be?” I heard Kara taking over the conversation while I was mulling over the new fact that I was still having a hard time processing.

Seokjin kept his eyes on me for a moment, like he knew I was having trouble making a decision. Then he looked at Kara, sounding calm and collected when he said, “Looking at where it is located now, the metastasis could head straight into the lungs, and there is always a risk of having it reaching the brain area.”

Just like my mother, I suddenly wondered with a shudder as I recalled the day she fell into a coma when the mass inside her body progressed so rapidly, as if it had taken a turn overnight and bypassed her radiation when it began building around the soft tissues in her body. Her lungs taking the hardest blow before her brain seized to function.

“The only thing that I must warn you about is that through the surgery, the doctors tend to be aggressive upon removing this type of cancer.”

A high-risk surgery. So that was the reason why he had chosen to have this talk in his private area, instead of in the open space of my room.

“What are my odds of getting through it completely intact?”

“40 to 60 percent of survival, give or take,” he said, though it was clear to me that he was trying so hard not to make empty promises when he was not entirely sure about it.

“So basically, what you’re saying is that I’ll either die of this cancer or die in the hands of the people trying to save me?” I was practically shaking so hard after listening to everything he had to say and my heartbeat was racing so hard I could barely breathe.

How my voice came out so calm and steady at this point was beyond me.

“You could put it that way,” he shrugged, though it was obvious that he hated having to tell me all of this. For not being able to give me something positive to hold on to. “But it would be no better than to wait until the chemotherapy and radiation could finally work against it. If you choose to remain with the therapy and medications you are currently in, we can still try to intensify or add the dose on the next radiation to help you heal slowly, use it to reduce the pain until we get through the next one. But we have no clue how much time the mass will stay dormant this time before it resumes its growth.”

At this point, it really did seem like I had no other choice. It was either to take that risk so I could have a chance to have some extra time in life, or fall back and let fate decide what to do with my life.

I recalled having him offering me to have the radiation to cut down the nerves which allowed me to stop feeling any pain so I could get through the treatments more smoothly. But I had refused to do it long ago as it would be like deceiving myself and making me forget that I was going through this.

I could not decide. I felt so lost and afraid. Afraid of making the wrong choices when my own life, my own future, was at risk.

“If you were the one to make the choice, what would you say would be the better option for me to take?”

Seokjin kept his eyes on me when he spoke, as if he was trying to talk me down into giving in. “If it was up to me, then I say we remove it. It’s a high risk, but we are on a race against time and we have to move quickly if we want to get a step ahead.”

“Will you be alright on your own?”

Kara tightened her coat on while watching me closely. The nighttime had fallen and she had to return home.

She had a clearance to stay the night as my guardian, but she knew that I would want to spend some time with Jimin—even if she never knew how often Jimin would spend the night in my bed at night—while she would try to find a way to talk to my brother and update him with everything that we had just found out today.

“I’ll be fine,” I told her, forcing a smile so I could convince her the best I could. “Jimin would probably come to visit me before bedtime anyway to keep me company. Even if he’s not coming, I’m tired enough to fall asleep anytime soon.”

The lie felt bitter on my tongue, but I was glad that Kara never caught on to it.

“Okay, but keep your phone close and in hands reach so we can stay in contact. I’ll be here before noon tomorrow,” she said, before kissing my cheek one last time and walked out the door.

The room fell silent right after. It was not long until the nurses came in for the last round of the night and the lights were turned off, but I could not find sleep coming to me soon enough. Hours passed and my mind was still moving a mile a minute, pondering over the things that we had talked about earlier today.

The night continued to linger, and I began to notice that there was no sign of Jimin coming into my room.

I waited until an hour passed. Then another hour. Still no sign of him.

I had no idea what came over me. Perhaps the need to find someone to talk to had made me feel impatient and restless. Perhaps the stress was compelling me to step out of the room when it was suddenly starting to make me feel claustrophobic.

Though I could also say that I was probably just missing him so badly, since I have gotten used to sleeping in his arms.

Before I knew it, I was pushing myself off the bed. There was no infusion bag attached to me and no IV pole to hold me back, so I had thought I would have no problem moving on my own without help or a wheelchair. But it surely didn’t take long for me to realise how wrong I was.

The pain began to build up when I was only halfway out on my journey. My breath was getting heavy and my chest was growing tight. I only told myself that I was doing okay and that it was only nerves getting to me for the reasons why I was out there making my way to him.

I hated to be the bearer of bad news, to crush all hopes of us living happily together and forgetting about our battles right here inside these walls. Yet I held on to hopes that perhaps facing the truth together would be able to help us to cope, to make us feel stronger against whatever coming in the way of our happiness.

That thought alone was the only thing that kept me going, no matter how badly my body was begging me to stop.

The hallways were dark and deserted at night. I could always hear it when the nurses or security guards were walking around the hall so I was half expecting to be found before I managed to get to him. But there was no one stopping me as I continued walking, holding onto the handrails attached to the walls as I made my way towards the other wing where Jimin’s room is located.

It took me a long time to get there. Though it wasn’t exactly an easy trip to go through either.

But after having my nightdress soaked with sweat, my back aching and my legs shaking as I kept holding myself up and forcing my way, my chest growing tight as I was running out of air even when I was taking my time and moving so slow from one hallway to another, I was finally standing right in front of Jimin’s room.

The door was closed shut, so I had thought that he might have fallen asleep.

He was not supposed to be having his treatment yet, which was why I was not expecting to find him resting so early. But it did stop me from barging in, afraid that I might wake him up and intrude his much-needed rest.

Then I heard his voice, coughing so hard from inside the room. The coughs sounded wet and heavy, and unlike the sounds that I have heard him making when it happened to him before, so I couldn’t wait any longer and gently pushed the door. Just as I stepped inside, calling his name softly, I saw him hunching over on the bed, still in his coughing fit.

His face was pale when he looked up to me, his eyes were red with tears. But it was the stain on his clothes and sheets which had me gasping and nearly stumble crying, because all I saw was blood, dripping from his lips and coming out on each cough escaping him.

“_______,” Jimin choked out my name when he saw me, coughing out blood a few more times and gasping for breath, before he fell unconscious over the bed.

“Jimin!”

—  © 2020 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[erisfiles]

THE EMPEROR

IG - @kingsbtsffs / Tumblr - @prince13jimin-kingsbtsffs

The Emperor

characters : “The 7 Dragons” Emperors; Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook. Ahn Y/n. Bang Hyunsik. Soo Jaemin

cameos : Prince Park Jihyun (Emperor Jimin’s younger brother) , Jeon Junghyun (Emperor Jungkook’s older brother, the general of his military, Jung Jiwoo (Emperor Hoseok’s older sister, his advisor), and Cha Eunwoo (a soldier of the Kim’s empire)

word count : I have no idea

Warnings for this chapter : 🚨🚨🚨Brief mention of whores and sex. Brief mention of beheading 🚨🚨🚨

genre : fluff, angst, smut, action, emperor au

Author’s note : I am sorry I have not updated in so long! I had gotten my wisdom teeth taken out about a week ago and I am still recovering!

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE/STEAL OR YOU WILL BE REPORTED.

Disclaimer : in honor of spring i am going to be using 🌸and🌷and 🌺as indent markers

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𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓢𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷

3rd POV

🌷Y/N stood still, the door slightly ajar, being cautious, focused on not being seen. Her breath hitched, her heart beating through her ears. Her knuckles turned white as she grasped the handle leading ti the boy. A loud silence fell upon everyone, the sudden downpour from being the only sound breaking the piercing silence.

🌺She looked at the guards standing besides the door, Y/N tilted her head to the side signaling for them to guard the main doors of the palace instead. She hesitantly held her knuckles above the door, afraid that maybe just maybe she would make the situation more worse than it already is. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, calming her nerves,p feeling her heart beat faster than normal. With a sigh, she opened the door to see the boys staring at her.

🌸Y/N looked at them, her eyes wandering around the room until she met eyes with Jimin. They stared at each other for a while, Jimin soon then ripped his gaze away from her, Y/N gulped wondering if he was mad at her. No, she knew he was mad at her. “I know you were eavesdropping.” Y/N gulped, looking down on shame and feeling her face heat up. Yoongi scoffed at her, pleased from how she cowered the moment she heard his voice. “Were you not taught not to listen to someone else’s conversation that doesn’t involve you?”

🌷Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes at her husband, not giving a damn about his title. “Oh. But I’m sure I was involved considering you were talking about ME.” Yoongi walked away from his position, storming across the room towards her. Gripping her chin between his fingers, he tilted her head up, looking into her eyes and not minding their close proximity. “Now, why would you have a problem about my fellow allies and I talking about my beautiful wife? Or should I say my Empress?” Y/N’s eyes widened as Yoongi had confidently blurted out her secret.

🌺From the corner of her eyes she saw Jimin looking down, his knuckles turning white, figure taking a shaky deep breath. She felt her heart break for the vulnerable man, the vulnerable she can’t help but to love. Namjoon trailed where her gaze was and saw Jimin, breaking the silence, he clapped his hands. “Now, it is dark outside. The festival is today and the townspeople are getting ready. We should get going, ignore the problems for right now and celebrate. Yoongi, Jimin, and Y/N please stay behind. I need to speak to you privately.”

🌸Everyone else left, passing by Y/N offering her a small smile as they’ve come to find out a lot about her in a short amount of time. Taehyung stopped in front of Y/N with a harsh gaze, her looking down as he was still an emperor. Arms hugging her tight surprised her, realizing that the person was Taehyung, she hugged him back even though she had only met him. “I’m glad you’re my sister. If they cause you any problem just shout my name and Jin Hyung and I will rescue you, princess.” Y/N chuckled, letting each other go and separating ways.

🌷The door shut behind Y/N leaving her with her brother and two important people in her life. “Would you mind explaining what Yoongi meant when he called you his queen, Y/N?” Namjoon sat down on his seat, confused as to what was going on, confused as to why it felt like Jimin had to be part of this as well. Yoongi sat at the other of the long table, opposite of a Namjoon and Jimin, sighing as he already wanted this meeting to be over. Y/N looked at Yoongi, her eyes begging for help as she didn’t know whether or not to admit or deny Yoongi’s claim. “I was just joking around, Joon. Don’t take it too seriously.”

🌺Jimin scoffed at the words that came out of Yoongi’s mouth. “That’s bullshit, Yoongi Hyung. You know that.” Yoongi glared at him, crossing his arms, amused at the younger one’s response. “What bullshit, Jimin? We’ve known each other our whole lives. You know me, a jokester. Why can’t you take a joke? Were you actually scared I took your supposed woman? Weren’t you the one begging to fuck one of my whores when you came to my palace a couple days ago? A specific whore at that...Eunhye? Was it?” Jimin froze in his spot, his gaze now softer, filled with pity, focusing on Y/N and saw how her mouth was slightly ajar, probably due to the shock of hearing what Jimin had been doing.

🌸Namjoon sighed as his two best friends were arguing over something irrelevant. His gaze went to Y/N as the two other men continued to bicker back and forth, cursing each other out. Namjoon approached Y/N and put his hand on top of her shoulders making Y/N flinch. She looked at her supposed brother with saddened eyes, smiling bitterly at him she decided not to say anything fearing that she will break down the moment she opens her mouth.

🌷Namjoon took her hand and dragged her out of the room no longer caring for the two imbeciles he both considered best friends. Y/N mindlessly followed also no longer wanting to be in the same room with Jimin and Yoongi. After being dragged for a few minutes, she suddenly bumped into Namjoon’s back startling her in the process. She looked up only to see that he took her to the throne room. Y/N looked at him confused as to why he had brought her here out of all places and instead of celebrating the festival

🌺Namjoon looked at her and gestured for her to go in first. Fire suddenly illuminated the thrown room, the hallway getting brighter and brighter as the guards lit up the torches. Getting to the last to pair of torches, three thrones emerged from the dark, one that being bigger than the other two. “Appa...uh gave me his thrown. Though, I don’t know why. I thought that his throne would best suit Jin Hyung. However, even Jin Hyun didn’t want it, he told me that it was mine and always was.” Y/N looked at him and smiled, chuckling lightly. “Hey! What do you mean you don’t know! You’ve always been a leader, Joon. Ever since we were kids, you always were. Every time the three of us would go on an adventure, you would lead us to places. Not even the guards could do that so they had to follow you too!” Namjoon laughed loudly, remembering their antics as children, reminiscing the good memories.

🌸He remembered how they would always meet up, at one point he couldn’t hide it from his dad, excitedly telling him of his newly found friend, his reaction when he put the puzzle pieces together that you were their sister. “You’re going to have your thrown up there in a couple days. I’ve already told the blacksmiths to design you a thrown. That is if you’d like to stay here, my dear sister.” Y/N didn’t know what to answer. She had always known that she was welcomed in this kingdom, in the palace, she even had her own chambers. But to be an princess was something she was not ready for

🌷”Is there something wrong, Y/N?” Namjoon looked at her in worry, his gaze following hers. She was staring at the gigantic family portrait hung up above the thrones. Her father’s and her brothers’ individual portraits along with the portraits of past Kim emperors. “Why is your mom’s portrait not there?” Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows, realizing she was trying to avoid his question. “Don’t avoid the question, Y/N. Does it have something to do with what Yoongi had ‘jokingly’ mentioned back there? Are you really an Empress now?” Y/N seethed in anger at the mention of the bastard’s name. “No! I am merely a concubine.”

🌺Namjoon shook his head knowing his sister didn’t understand the full picture. “Y/N, you’re not a commoner. You are a princess. When an Emperor marries a royal, they become an Empress ruling his kingdom with him until their death, just like the sayings in the vows.” Namjoon walked up to his throne, tracing it with his fingertips, remembering looking up at his dad from his lap as a child whenever he sat down to deal with problems. “You can choose to stay here, while also being an Empress for the Min Empire and as a princess for the Kim Empire or you can choose to stay in the Min Empire. Either way, it’s a win-win situation as you do not lose any of your titles. The decision is yours.” Y/N felt as if the world was crumbling beneath her, so much has had happened all at once

🌸”But I don’t love Yoongi. I love Jimin. I don’t want to live in an empire with someone I do not love. I do not want to rule a kingdom where I feel like I don’t belong. I want to break my oath to Yoongi. I want to be with Jimin” Namjoon’s eyes widened at his sisters sudden statement. His eyes wandering around to see if any government officials were present. “Are you insane? Y/N, once you oath yourself to someone you cannot, and I repeat, cannot break it. If you publicly announced that you want to break the oath because you’re in love with someone else it will leave you headless.” Y/N wish he said the exact opposite, was Jimin worth it?

🌷”I know what you’re thinking, Y/N. I want you to listen. Jimin isn’t the one for you and-“ Y/N interrupted him, completely annoyed with everyone has been saying around her.

“How do you know what’s best for me?! Does EVERYONE happen to know what’s best for me except for myself?! I love Jimin and you can’t change-“

“He’s cheated on you multiple times, Y/N!”

Y/N froze in her spot, her mouth ajar, eyed as wide as saucers, stuttering, trying to process everything. Everything that happens and is happening.

🌺”No. Jimin told me he loved me. I may be pathed to Yoongi but Jimin is the one who owns my heart.” Namjoon sighed, rolling his eyes at Y/N who had always been hard-headed. “Jimin...I don’t know if he told you or if you’re aware at least...Jimin has a whore for every empire. Yoongi’s, ours, Hosoek’s, and Jungkook’s. You’re not the only woman beside his mom in his life.” Y/N couldn’t understand, well, she refused to listen and understand. He let his words go in one ear and out the other. “Yoongi..., he is a good man, Y/N. Don’t let rumors of him mess up your perspective of him. For Jimin, as much as I consider him my brother, he’s only been playing you this whole time. I’m sorry. I know you love him. We’ve known for a long while that you two were involved with each other. But now that the announcement that you and Yoongi are married, it can’t continue. I will make sure Jimin is not within 6 feet of you.”

🌸Y/N’s uneven breathing was heard throughout the massive room, her knees giving up on her eventually collapsing and her sobs became more loud and clear. Her nails forming crescents on the palm on her hands on how tight her fist was. She didn’t mind the pain, the pain that hurt the most was the heart break. She shook her head vigorously, denying her brother’s claims. “No brother would say that to me. No brother would make up lies just for her to stay away from someone she loves.”

🌷Namjoon sighed again, confused as to why his sister won’t believe him. “If you think I’m lying to you just to make you stay with Yoongi and leave Jimin then...then that’s up to you. I’ll leave you to talk with the government officials. If they ever mention you, I’ll say that you speak for yourself because clearly I can’t speak for you. I won’t ever speak for you ever again. You’re an Empress now, Y/N, whether or not you want to be. This was your destiny. Now let’s walk on our own paths because now you have your own that you want to walk by yourself in.”

“No, wait, Namjoon-“

“I presume I will see you at the festival, Princess Y/N. If not, good night.”

🌺When the door closed she didn’t run off after her brother even though she knew she was in the wrong. But she couldn’t control her feelings. She hated him. She felt more immense hatred for Yoongi. She hated herself and she hated Jimin. But she hated her Emperor more. She looked at the portrait of her dad, sitting in his thrown in his hanbok with a smile on his face, the only emperor who had a smile on his face in their royal portrait. “I’m sorry,...dad. I feel I’ve already failed you.”

—————————-

Y/N walked out of the frown room and out into the town considering no one knew her title she aimlessly wandered around. Eventually stumbling upon the seven emperors also aimlessly walking around with guards nearby, everyone making way for them. Y/N hid in the crowd as they stood in a line, the crowd gathering in front of the. Her eyes searched for a Jimin only for it to seem like he was out of this world. Y/N felt love and hatred towards him at the moment, to think someone had actually fooled her and used her.

🌷The General of the Royal Army’s booming voice hushed the voices amongst the crowd. “Today, we would like to make an announcement concerning all empires.” The general looked at Namjoon, receiving a nod from him and stepping up.

“These last few days have been very challenging for the allied Emperors. However, do not worry as we are trying our best to prepare for this altercation. No, it is not war, however, that doesn’t mean that this will be dealt with peace either. Along with that, my brothers and I have found news ourselves.” Silence fell amongst the crowd waiting for their Emperor to finish his speech. Y/N stood in the crowd also intrigued by what news he was going to announce.

“I’d like for us to introduce you to Empress Y/N of the Min Empire, sister to the the Three Kim Emperors.”