#since like November? not the longest break tho I don’t think but feels like a while

[rosiegames]

PC back out, sims back on !!

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[halalhyungwon]

1-100 odds

Jaz you’re a real one

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

It depends on the cereal, tbh. Some cereals I prefer a lot of milk and others I put less

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I’ve used my phone, random sheets of paper, pens/pencils, white out tape…

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

A lil bit

7: do you name your plants?

I don’t have any plants :( If i did, I probably would

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yes, I do it constantly

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Inner joke? Like, inside joke?… I have a lot. And yet, I can’t think of one to share lmao

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

I was on the phone with my bestie for like 5hrs and I hadn’t called them in a while so that made me happy (: 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

“A total of 32 monkeys have flown in space.”

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

This shade of purple that Minseok had because it is sooo pretty. I’ve wanted to dye my hair that color for the longest time

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I do have a journal and I used to write in it regularly but kinda stopped once I got into sophomore year of college. It was kinda my brain dump and also where I just spilled all my emotions that I never talked to anyone about

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Favorite?? Hmmm there’s the bag my cousin bought me for my high school prom. It’s cute and small and white and going over your shoulder. I don’t use it much but I’m still happy to have it.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

watch exo and seventeen make fools of themselves lmao

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

I don’t recall breaking into anywhere…but I remember one summer my brother and I went for a walk to a school in my cousin’s neighborhood and an alarm went off and scared tf out of us

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

wintermint (?) i think it’s called

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? 

One of my friends has this pack of cards that says “I LOVE YOU BECAUSE” and then it has a bunch of bullet points for different reasons you could love someone. She gave me one sophomore year and another one just recently and honestly it’s so sweet

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Socks and I…we acknowledge each other’s existence and hang out when we need to. I only where socks with my sneakers and boots, and when it’s really cold. I cannot where socks all day. Like it’s impossible. When I wear socks I just feel hyper aware of the fact that there is cloth on my feet and it makes me uncomfortable. I can’t go to sleep with socks on, unless I’m extremely tired and just fell asleep. Even then, I’ll wake up with my socks kicked off in the morning.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Most recently! My friend and I were trying to observe the meteor shower last weekend. And like the thing is for the first hour or so we didn’t see any and kept trying to find the best place to observe them. Then, I finally saw one, but it was right when my friend was looking down so she didn’t get to see it! And then, another hour or so passes and it just seems like we’re never gonna see another one, so we decide to head back to our dorms. BUt, on the way back we find a spot that would be just perfect to see them, so we just loitered there for almost another hour, jammin to music and just waiting to see some shooting stars! And then the next one comes but it happens right as I’m looking at my friend to talk to her, but she’s looking up so she gets to see it. After that some time passes and it’s already 3:30 a.m. and I’m tired and lowkey gotta pee, so we start making our way back to the dorms again. And then we find another spot that would be good viewing, so we chill there for a while because, though we’ve both seen a shooting star, we haven’t see one together. So we’re standing there, chillin, being goofs and listening to trap remixes of the Wii theme, when we both look up and go “OH!!!” and freak out bc we finally saw another shooting star and it was just great. 

(I realized I answered this even tho it’s not odd but i’m just gonna keep it bc i love it too much)

33: what’s your fave pastry?

do cinnamon rolls count as pastries?…i could really go for one…

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

Yes I do!! But I don’t have many :(( Part of me wants to buy a big set but like I already have a bunch of pens and notebooks (but they arent all aesthetic and pretty and stuff) and I also think i’d stop using them after a week or so

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

I like having a neat room (I cleaned my room today I’m so happy, it looks so spacious) 

39: what color do you wear the most?

Black, probably

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

I don’t read often but I think the last book I really enjoyed … Howl’s Moving Castle

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

@batmanlemonade hey ;) [see #32]

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

No? maybe? idk

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

pickles…

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I wishhh I could just buy all the cd’s i’ve ever wanted. If I had more money I probably would have a nice collection. The last CD i’ve bought was back in high school and I think it was OneRepublic’s Native album

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

My little brother… whenever i hear transformer, touch it, monster or kkb I think about him bc those are his favorite exo songs loll

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I don’t think I’ve watched any of these but beetlejuice, and I love beetlejuice

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I scrolled through my kyungsoo tag for a good hour or so to prove to my friend how much i love him sfdjkl; that’s not very dramatic but it’s the first thing I thought of. She really didn’t question that I loved him, I just love any excuse to look through my tags

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

bohemian rhapsody is a classic sfkl; um it always reminds me of my childhood bc my brothers and i used to watch these animated videos and one of them was of bohemian rhapsody but with megaman characters lmao

59: what’s your favorite myth?

UHmmm I really don’t know lol sorry

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

In sophomore year I wanted to buy my roommate her favorite flavor of ice cream but I didn’t have money so I drew ice cream on a post-it note for her I can’t think of a stupid gift I’ve received…

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

lol no, i just let ‘em be. they’re chillin

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

my cousin who’s in med school, I haven’t seen her in too long :c

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I kinda like those days. If I’m in a good mood, gray skies, cool breezes and light rain make me feel better. Otherwise, it’s just meh.

69: what are your favorite board games?

There’s this Korean board game that I can’t remember the name of for the life of me, and tbh since I haven’t played it in a while I don’t remember the exact rules, but it’s kinda of like Sorry! I’ve only played it twice but it was really fun both times

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Chai

73: what are some of your worst habits?

putting myself down and procrastinating

75: tell us about your pets!

I don’t have any :-( I’ve been really wanting a cat lately

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Pink~

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Hmmm when I was in high school I reeeally loved Michael Buble (I still do, have you heard that man’s voice?) so for Valentine’s day, my friend got me this box and taped his face on the top lmaoo with a reference to one of his song lyrics. The box was filled with flowers and chocolate and gum (but at the time I had braces so i couldn’t even chew the gum lolll)

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

I really wish I could but I’m not creative and this headache I have isn’t helping safhjlk sorry

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

I really like the cover for 1R’s Native album, and also p!atd’s too weird to live too rare to die

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

Not really, but I’d like to

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Howl’s Moving Castle, Room No 7 starring Do Kyungsoo, coming out November 15 and..I can’t really think of another one

89: are you close to your parents?

Kinda sorta

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

i have no plans to travel :( 

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

My hair in it’s natural state lol covered by my hijab

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Chillin! I was supposed to lock myself up in my room and finally watch the exo and seventeen concerts I have downloaded but i haven’t gotten around to watching them yet. But I have been chillin in my room so it’s been alright

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp, scorpio, and i have no idea

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

UHhhmmm Call Me Baby and Heaven by EXO; Healing and Don’t Listen in Secret by Seventeen; Hug Me by Jung Joon Il

[bartsugsy]

The Robron Break-Ups : A Definitive Guide (Part One/So Many)

Foreword

Do you ever start something you wish you hadn't? Well, then you have something in common with both Katie Sugden and myself, because here, my friends, here is my magnum opus: the definitive guide to the dark times.

I, anguished, alone and with clearly no better way to spend my time, have gone back to the start of this mess of a fictional relationship we refer to as robron and counted every single break up, every single dismissal, every single time one of these boys were cruelly (or rightfully lbr) #denied by the other. Yeah. That's right. This is going to be the longest series of posts you've ever seen.

A large amount of the blame here lies with @stolemyhheart, firstly for suggesting I do this in the first place (probably not seriously, but I clearly hate myself) and for providing the genius rating system I use throughout. The rest of the blame lies with Robert, Aaron and the writers for everything they have put us through in the last 2 years.

“But Lo,” I hear you yell, “this is depressing af, what about the happy times?” WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I WISH I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT THE HAPPY TIMES BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE ENDED IN A LOT SMALLER A WORD COUNT. But let's be honest… deep down, we all want to know just how many times it's been now that they've broken up/rejected one another…. right?

Following on from this, here is the answer to a sure to be heavily asked question: Why am I counting rejections etc. as break ups?

Honestly? It's the only way to save my sanity. I can't express how hard it would be to work out what is and is not a break up otherwise. The gdoc title of this list is actually The Robron Rejection Compendium, which is far more accurate. It’s just… It's the only way. You’ll see what I mean as we get into it.

But hey, you probably know. You've all seen it. The Rating System

For each break up, I give the following information, so that you can all see just how terrible these boys are at staying away from one another:

How long did it last?

Who came crawling back first?

How little did they mean it? (Score out of a possible 5, with 5 being 'they meant it as much as any two people can mean a break up and still end up back together' and 1 being 'get out of my life but also let's go to a theme park together tomorrow')

Anyway, onwards we go - starting at the beginning. Pre-affair days, because I was already here and why not, honestly?

Follow me as I list out every time robron broke up (or said they didn't want to be with each other), and narrate you through it, like Jimmy Carr in one of those random Christmas TV filler list countdown specials.

(Pre-warning : this post gets lightly nsfw pretty quickly, with hatesex talk and makeup sex talk abounds, because I have no restraint.)

Part One : Pre-Manslaughter

1. 24 November 2014

Ah, the first rejection. An iconic one - mostly because of all the wall-slamming. Do you miss the wall-slamming? I miss the wall-slamming.

For context - Aaron and Robert have a little Woolpack Bathroom Confrontation™ over Chrissie’s ring, which was stolen in their little Fake Robbery Escapade™ and then Aaron actually finds and retrieves Chrissie's ring from Ross, because Aaron is a good and decent soul. Robert smiles in response and looks at him in a slightly different, 'you could be worth more to me than I initially thought' way. Which is nice, because 2014!Robert seemed to always immediately assume all people were worthless morons not worthy of his time. Because 2014!Robert is a grade-A butthole. (I love him though. I love him.)

Anyway, Robert decides to reward Aaron by tracking him down and offering him cash, so really in this scene, Aaron is actually rejecting Robert's money as opposed to his dick, but it's still a rejection and honestly, as previously mentioned, if I don't get really liberal with the definition, I won't make it out of this alive. Also, please, as if they didn't both go home and think about being pressed up against that wall together all night. I bet Aaron was really annoyed about it too. You just know he hated how attracted he was to Robert's smug face. How long did it last? A day? No time at all, honestly.  

Who came crawling back first? Robert, absolutely not taking Aaron’s ‘stay out of my way’ warnings to heart and instead deciding to confront him in the pub over Aaron’s ~obvious feelings for Chrissie~. Ok, Robert.

How little did they mean it? 5/5, because Aaron really didn't want Rob’s money. (Did want his dick tho, he just didn't quite realise that that would be on offer)

2. 2nd December 2014

Second on our list, it's the ‘Chrissie wants to buy Rob a car’ moment. Rob is all panicky and on-edge at the idea of Aaron talking to Chrissie (because he doesn't want Aaron spilling about the fake robbery and Aaron looks about as mild and easy to control as a live wire).

Chrissie leaves and Aaron yells at Robert about putting the woman he's about to marry through a shitty time and Robert… doesn't really care too much, to be honest. Aaron doesn't want to deal with him anymore and walks away. Robert gets this look on his face. Is it guilt? Maybe? He's really hard to read at this point, ok, he's like a moral black hole, but Aaron’s words have had some sort of effect, nonetheless.

How long did it last? Minutes? As long as it took Bob to make two americanos? The next time we see them, Aaron’s slamming a car boot down and still visibly agitated and Rob’s got the aforementioned coffees in and is trying to make nice

Who came crawling back first? Robert, with his coffee and his smiles and his apologies. Does he genuinely mean it? Is he just trying to keep Aaron on side so that he can potentially keep him quiet longer? Probably a mixture of both, let's be real. But Rob’s smile is cute and Aaron's smile in response is just as sweet and GUYS THEY'RE ALREADY IN LOVE IT'S HAPPENED THEY'RE BONDING OVER COFFEE AND CARS (and Chrissie?)

How little did they mean it? 2/5. Aaron genuinely did think Robert was being a terrible person, but also, it literally lasted minutes and all Rob had to do was buy a cup of coffee and turn on the charm to make things better… and oh boy, is Aaron a sucker for that charm.

Honourable Mention #1

The first honorary mention appears here, on 3/12/14, while Robert is having a Sugden family meal that's going just as well as you would expect a Sugden family meal to go and Diane invites Aaron to join in on the fun. Robert isn't about this idea at all, apparently and says so and then the two of them make subtexty sexual tension eyes at each other across the room. Robert runs away immediately, probably because he doesn't want the rest of his family to know he's in a constant state of ‘5 seconds away from ripping Aaron’s clothes off with his teeth’.

3. 3rd December 2014

Next up, we have what I like to call The First Date Rejection. Aaron came out to Robert, Rob got this Curious Look™ on his face and watched Aaron walk away. They made googly eyes at one another in front of Robert’s entire family and Aaron now finds Rob sitting in his car and for reasons that I can only assume relate to the wall-slamming incident and all the heated looks they've been sharing every time they're within touching distance of one another, Aaron basically asks Robert out on a date. It's not really intended to be a romantic date but... they both know they'd getting lucky at the end of it. Aaron’s trying to play it cool and kind of failing. Most inconvenient crush ever, am I right? Anyway, Robert blind panics again and immediately turns Aaron down, sounding insulted at Aaron’s entirely accurate reading of the situation. Aaron gets annoyed because honestly, why did he expect more from Robert in the first place? It all plays out in subtext and it's amazing, but also everyone is sad and no one is getting laid.

How long did it last? A day. An entire day.

Who came crawling back first? Robert again, fresh with the knowledge that Aaron would absolutely be up for it, desperately wanting to do something about it himself and also looking to get some payback on Chrissie for doubting his fidelity. Yeah... you... you show her Robert... how... how dare she believe that you couldn't be faithful to her… you! Of all… of all the people...

How little did they mean it? 2/5, because Robert is still scared of himself (and probably doesn't want to play away so close to home, more on that later) but also, you just know that he really wishes he could go flirt with Aaron over drinks and away from prying eyes and not care - as seen by his troubled face in the very last shot of the scene. Poor, deeply closeted Robert. Aaron is absolutely on to you, my son.

4. 4th December 2014 - The First Kiss (Rejections)

Ah. Ah the lay by. Iconic location of an iconic first kiss. Now since I'm obviously here to talk less about the romantic stuff, and more about the heartache, heart break and general You’re Dead To Me’s, I'm going to skip the mush and hop straight to the good stuff. Robert, having made the decision to throw caution to the wind in an impulsive angry reaction to Chrissie’s doubts, does the following: fakes a breakdown (or not even - just turning the engine off, what kind of terrible cover), gets Aaron's number from Vic and lures Aaron out to the side of a road under false pretenses.

Aaron gets there, pretty quickly realises what's up and he is All. About. It. Then, of course, Robert panics and chickens out, but Aaron has long had him sussed, chases after him and that's about as far as Rob’s defences will hold when it comes to Aaron.

They have an epic, epic first kiss that turns into an epic, epic make out session. All that sexual tension that's been building expressed in one moment - enough that Aaron basically starts shoving Robert into his low loader and pulling off his shirt, because they've both had Enough™ of the whole sensible restraint thing.

Naturally, this is when Robert freaks out again and pulls away. Aaron follows, they almost go at it again on the hood of Robert’s car and then finally, Rob comes to his senses and drives away.

(I lied earlier. I really didn't skip the mush at all. They love each other and they want to bang. That's all.)

How long did it last? The first pull away lasted a whole whopping second. The second one? Just long enough for Robert to bone Chrissie, realise he still wasn't satisfied because he wanted Aaron and then hang around the garage like a creeper for a bit. So about 2 hours.

Who came crawling back first? True to form once more, it's Robert, looking to scratch a particularly cute and scruffy itch that his fiancé just couldn't help with.

How little did they mean it? 1/5, Rob’s panicking again, still woefully in the closet and… probably coming to his senses a little, realising that this wouldn't end well? Aaron’s too close to home, already has too much to hold over Robert without this too, and… it's just not a good idea, is it?

But really, as we know, all of Robert’s defences are absolutely useless against Aaron, so… onto garage sex (or blowjobs anyway, I'm still saying blowjobs) in some rando’s car. Beautiful.

5. 5th December 2014

So, they've banged in a car (and then Robert went back and banged Chrissie again, because apparently he's literally the horniest person alive) and now we skip to the next day, where Aaron has managed to find a car for Robert, per Chrissie’s request.

At home farm, Chrissie wants to have a little private chat with Aaron about payment and Robert, panicking once more over his terrible decisions, pulls Aaron to the side and offers him hush money. Again. Because he apparently did not learn the first time.

Aaron, as expected, does not take this well.

How long did it last? About 3 days.

Who came crawling back first? Aaron? If you count taking Finn out to make Robert jealous, having the plan backfire entirely and make Robert more smug and then going out and absolutely battering Rob’s new car as “crawling back”. Either way, there's more wall-slamming and they end up having angry sex in Aaron’s room, so it's a win all round. Except for Rob’s car. And Chrissie, I guess.

How little did they mean it? 4/5. Enough that they ended up having angry sex a few days later, anyway. That counts as ‘meaning it’ in the robron book of arguments.

And that’s Part One! Tune in next time... maybe we’ll get to 2015. God help me what am I doing