#sleep token article

[blue-lollipops-and-ice-clouds]

Sleep Token's "The 100 Songs That Changed Our World" Article.

(Source - photos courtesy the lovely jawsofeden)

Transcript:

100 - Sleep Token

The Summoning

(Take Me Back To Eden, 2023)

The meteoric rise of Sleep Token caught us all by surprise. At the start of 2023, the mysterious masked band were one of the metal underground's buzziest names. Led by enigmatic vocalist Vessel, they were a band to watch, for sure, but firmly attracted the niche passion of a cult following.

Then came the song that would change everything. On consecutive days in early January, the band released two singles from their third album, Take Me Back To Eden: the burning, crashing Chokehold, followed by The Summoning - and it was the latter track that would turn them into an Earth-conquering, expectation-shattering phenomenon.

Veering between depraved tech metal, soulful vocals and shimmering electronics, an enormous, hymnal chorus gave way to an Earth-shifting breakdown and screams. Intricate and groove heavy, The Surmoning was more like three songs seamlessly crafted into one genre-fluid modern masterpiece. And it still had its trump card to play: a bendy, thirst-trap, funk outro that went viral on TikTok, turning the internet intoalusty Take1 puddle. Suddenly, Sleep Token were the most talked-about band on the planet.

"THERE ARE HINTS OF EARLY SLIPKNOT THERE."

COREY TAYLOR

"It took me three listens of [The Sumroning] to realise that when they do that whole psychedelic section at the end, that it's actually the same chorus as it was before, only in a completely different way," Evanescence's Amy Lee told Revolver. "And I love it even more that. I thought they just went a whole new direction and wrote a new part, and then I was like, 'Wait, that's the same...but not at all'."

Sleep Token weren't the most obvious choice for a commercial breakthrough. The success of The Summoning, an unconventional, seven-minute, brutal shapeshifter, bucks just about every music industry trend there is.

"It's going to a lot of different places, and I think there isn't any other band out there right now that's able to do that," Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford said earlier this year.

The Summoning set a chain reaction in motion that was unprecedented in modern metal. In just a few weeks, the band saw their Spotify figures jump from the thousands into the millions. To date, the track has been streamed more than 123 million times on Spotify and 19 million on YouTube. On release, Take Me Back To Eden went straight in at No.3 in the UK and was the most streamed metal album of 2023. When the band announced a show at Wembley Arena, tickets sold out in 10 minutes.

Earlier this year, they left the metal-heavy roster of Spinefarm Records for RCA, the home of mainstream megastars Justin Timberlake and rapper Doja Cat.

"In heavy music, or even in just rock, even in the last decade or 15 years, there's so few stories of bands ever breaking through," says Health bassist and producer, John Famiglietti, who supported the band at Wembley and sees Sleep Token's success as proof metal still can resonate on a massive scale. "This is one of the few times I've seen a band go from a fucking club to an arena in six months. And I don't know the last time that happened."

It's worth pointing out that in the social media era where celebrities and artists are more accessible than ever, Sleep Token have achieved all of this on their own terms. To date, they've barely done any press, while their masked mystique is all part of the allure. Last year, fans reacted with outrage when bassist III's identity and birth certificate were allegedly leaked online, seemingly leading to a decision to wipe the band's Instagram.

"There are hints of early Slipknot there," Knot vocalist Corey Taylor told The Allison Hagendorf Show in 2023, thinking back to the early internet days before Slipknot removed their masks. "At first, we were like, 'Nope. You get nothing. This is what you get, you figure it out. We'll let the music speak for ourselves.

Today, Sleep Token are being mentioned in the same breath as potential future Download headliners Ghost, Gojira, and Architects. The only difference? Sleep Token have managed to ascend to the same level as those bands in a fraction of the time. Metal needs new superstars who will push things forward, innovate and keep the scene relevant - and with Sleep Token we have a band we can believe in. DL

[sleepanonymous]

[revradio]

Revolver Magazine

[scarlet-and-ultraviolet]

Source: (credit to Luke & Chris from Sleep Token Fan Group on Facebook)

[foundationsofdecay]

Oh huh. Well, what's interesting is looking at the depth chart in merch and promo material, the entire second half of tpwbyt is labelled with depths that are squarely in the Hadopelagic/Hadal zone, which is for depths found I believe exclusively in oceanic trenches (>6000m), and even then less than 50 locations worldwide have been officially noted to go that deep. The final song is at depths only recorded in Challenger Deep, part of the Mariana Trench, which is actually in the Pacific Ocean and not the Atlantic but w/e, we'll ignore that for the sake of artistic liberty.

Anyways, a fun fact that's kind of interesting to mull over and I think actually meaningful, even if on an easter egg level, is that Missing Limbs, at 10924m, is simultaneously believed to be the deepest point reached by any manned deep sea vessel (The Limiting Factor, crewed by Victor Vescovo in 2019) as well as what several studies had concluded (at the point during which the album was likely written) to be the deepest observable point of Challenger Deep in its entirety. Depth accuracy is so hard to determine because of the conditions and topography of the location that the estimated numbers you find in different articles on the same subject will fluctuate by a few meters in either direction, but that number is what comes up the most frequently in the summaries and conclusions. Technically that also makes it a song at the Benthic level, which is cool and gives me song crossover ideas but that's a different post.

A large percentage of sediment's composition at that depth is the skeletal remains of plankton and similar organisms. The atmospheric pressure at that depth is roughly 600x the standard atmospheric pressure. The water constantly hovers at just above freezing temperatures. Taking Missing Limbs and putting that song in the context of the absolutely brutal conditions of that environment, the picture of Vessel having sunk all the way down to the absolute lowest point on the planet's surface in general, is really evocative and also, ow my heart! Equally brutal and heartbreaking imagery.

That zone's associated songs beginning with Alkaline is also interesting but I'm not going to look too heavily into that. I'm actually really curious about the other depth measurements now, though. I'd imagine this particular song is the one most likely to have an actual meaning compared to the others, but it's a fun exercise and a good excuse to read more about the deep sea. The choice to begin with Atlantic already near the bottom of the Mesopelagic zone especially is ??? but I haven't given that a look yet.

[worship-sleep]

yk if i was sleep token i too would probably never do any interviews considering almost every article out there is concerned with who is under the mask and doesn’t really care at all to discuss their music

[monstrouscrew]

hello weird dreams

an article in some cursed popular magazine with Vessel's ID name in the headline and maskless photo. thankfully, not only the text was a typical dream unreadable mess, but the photo was a perfect example of a human face dreamt by a person with prosopagnosia (thx mother nature for the light version though), also so sad, exhausted and typical instaboring white european, that me in a dream labelled it as some sort of fake and moved on.

luckily have got zero jumpscares, because i walk different paths while searching for stuff, so the photo in a dream was completely made up by the brain of ours, still uuugh.

[dumbbullet]

SLAMS THIS DOWN AND RUNS

Through an odd series of events I got the opportunity to make some artwork for this playlist and the accompanying analysis exploring the chronology of Sleep Token created by one of the veterans of the community. It's that one that's been referenced by this article from Boolintunes about the lore. If I think about that for too long my brain will combust!

These two pieces took like.... holy shit it was only 2 and a half weeks but i really had a blast running around my room screaming about how Gustave Dore was a madman whilst trying to emulate his style.

[bluesey-182]

spoilers for the sleep token article in the "metal hammer" magazine

vessel wtf? what a dork

i can't believe he sat that still for so long, but also... can you imagine? he sat there to watch everyone's reactions. i wonder what that felt like for him. that makes me heart both ache and soar

[skynapple]

What if MC looked different from her past lives, will he connect the dots?

Xavier x MC [A03 link]

Prompt from @nobodys-saviour: "If MC didnt look the same as her other lives do you think they’d still recognise her. [Would] Xavier?" [x].

----

Xavier did not make a habit of making strong connections in his various "lives" he'd lived on Earth. The less he knew about mild acquaintances, the less there was to remember, making it easier to focus on more important things and details. Thus, his opinion of his new colleague was varied at best.

On some days, she surprised him with strength and fervor. On other days, her youthfulness presented itself, especially when chatting and gossiping with her work friends. Finding out they were neighbors was more of an irritation to him, since it presented the danger of her attempting to get to know him. He had half a mind to move when he realized she was persistent in attempting to get to know him, despite his frequent attempts to ignore her. There were times she tried to leave nice, neighborly things at his doorstep. He rarely, if ever, answered, and kept conversation polite but brief. It was merely the way he protected his many identities over time. If he had to sum it up, he thought she was nice, but a little meddlesome.

One day she came over feigning illness for some kind of game with her colleagues. Truth or dare? How childish. Xavier didn't have time for such trivial things. He let her leave with a small token of his, and sent her on her way.

He didn't understand her obsession with getting to know him. He could feel her eyes on her when he was in the office, and hear her asking questions about him. Occasionally she'd be texting him random articles when he still had no idea how she got his number. He passed her once while she was on another job while he was on his day off. Only out of the corner of his eye did he notice she was handing their coworker Tara a keychain. He had no idea how she noticed him quite literally all the way across the street with his hoodie over his head.

"Xavier!" She called out to him.

He almost wanted to pretend not to hear it.

"What is it?" He asked flatly.

"I made these for a few people at the office. Do you want one?" She was asking.

Tara nearly cut her off with excitement, holding hers up to show him.

"Look at it! It's so cute!! She's so talented. I had no idea she could make stuff like this!!"

He blinked at it - a little teddy bear keychain.

"No thanks." He noticed her disappointment and quickly tried to add, "Not really... my thing."

"Oh! Totally. But I can make other stuff!"

"I'm good." He replied quickly. "...Sorry."

And that was that.

Other than those brief instances, she never crossed his mind. His mind was occupied with his missions, with his goals, with her, the one from so long ago he was always thinking about. It was heart-wrenching thing realizing that he was beginning to forget her appearance, the scent of her hair, the rhythm of her laugh. The last time he'd seen her was centuries ago now. Late at night before sleep would befall him, he would see a flash of her in his mind, but it was never clearly visible. It terrified him. He wished he could draw so he could save some semblance of her appearance. Yet, all he had left of her was her lightseeker badge, and a little star.

After pulling an all-nighter in the no-hunt zone, the moment he began to turn back, another Wanderer attack came. His senses sharpened only briefly, launching himself skillfully at its weakest points, light evol creating a shower of light in his stead. Despite his skill, his body was not as responsive as he would hoped. The Wanderer swung large and struck his abdomen squarely and launching him several meters down. He gritted his teeth as his back connecting to the forest floor below them, wincing sharply at the pain and the wind being knocked out of him. In his moment of weakness, his lightsword had flung from his hand and landed a ways from him.

Before he could recover, the Wanderer launched back up, growling at him almost as if to sneer at Xavier's vulnerability. He began to brace himself for the effort of teleporting himself to his lightsword, which was normally a simple enough thing but now would require more excruciating effort through his brain fog and injury. Just when he was about to do so, a voice rang out through the night sky.

"Hey, ugly!"

A glint caught his –and the Wanderer's– attention as a woman stood off to the side.

Oh.. no. He thought, grimacing at the thought of anyone else not only holding his lightsword. The fact, too, that it was this specific colleague and caused a feeling of cold dread and irritation to course through him. There was no way this would end particularly well.

Then time froze.

She was swinging the lightsword up to the sky, resonating with it in a way that normally only he could as its rightful owner. Had she always had a resonate evol? He hadn't remembered if he paid attention to that when Jenna briefed him.

Maybe he was just tired. Maybe it was the moonlight and the setting in the forest that felt so starkly familiar. Maybe he had been yearning too long. In that moment, he thought he saw her.

She swung his sword like it was her own, with skill that had certainly taken him hundreds of years to master. Fearlessness and ferocity in her eyes that he hadn't seen in anyone else. She had a quality of dash.

He came to and stood, knowing there was no way she would defeat the large Wanderer on her own, but with her providing enough distraction, he could deal a final blow.

"Hand me my sword!" He called out to her.

"Here you go!" She lept over to him and handed it over, drawing her twin pistols afterwards.

For a split moment, the Wanderer examined them, he knew it was gearing up for a strike.

He looked at the sword in his hand and then to her, tired eyes giving way to clarity. One last push.

"Swords of the stars." He said quietly, almost a weakened whisper to himself as he rose it to strike a final blow, as if crying out to her to give him a bought of strength.

"We must always point in the same direction." She whispered back, replying in a literal sense as she pointed her guns at the Wanderer. The shock nearly stalled him but he was too focused on the task at hand.

Together the Wanderer came down in a flash of light.

As he reached out to collect the protocore, he examined it only a moment before turning back to her in disbelief.

"It's you."

She looked at him quizzically. "Duh, it's me. Xavier, I don't understand why you keep leaving me behind. We're partners! Maybe don't head into the no-hunt zone by yourse- Xavier!!"

The man was collapsing, finally giving way to the stress, shock, injury, and sleepless state his body had been in.

When he closed his eyes he could hear her voice, feel her arms around him and she dragged him to her hunter bike. The pieces of her personality and mannerisms began to come together.

When he awoke in a hospital bed, he at first panicked, having specifically avoided hospitals for particular reasons. Jeremiah would have his work cut out for him later. His next thought was,

She's...here?

There she was, staring out the window in the hospital chair beside him.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, noticing him staring. "You're awake. Good! I brought you some fruit. And this!"

She tossed him a small object and he caught it, a number of emotions coursing through him as he examined it.

"What's this?"

"I know you said you didn't want one, but I made one for literally everyone, even Jenna, so it felt kinda weird. I know you said bears weren't your thing, so I guess I tried to think about your light evol? A star's pretty close, right?"

He couldn't help but smile. "It's close... I guess."

She laughed, and it was the first time he paid attention to the rhythm.

She's here. She's right here.

[the-summ0ning]

Sleep Token HC: being in a relationship with IV

NSFW elements, mainly fluff there might be a part two to everyone’s at this point. Or if you have any requests for HCs feel free to send me a request bc I had so many thoughts for this one and my adhd bird brain can’t keep up. Also I can proofread this 1947372 times and it still might not be as proofread as I thought lmao 🤭

The man that IV is… broody but so babygirl coded

Definitely let’s you wear his jacket, prefers you to actually

Especially since he doesn’t give overtly public displays of affection

It’s his silent claim as if everyone backstage didn’t already know who you were primarily there for. He even considers getting another one just for you to wear when you joined him on tour

Update: he gives it to you on your birthday, nearly identical to his in your size (oversized if you preferred your clothes that way). Maybe instead just wear the big read circle w the ‘iiii’ in it had your initials (solely just so he wouldn’t confuse the two articles)

Let’s you romp around in his mask before shows when the guys are putting their paint on (honestly I think all the guys would at one point or another w their S/o—ivy just gets a bigger kick out of it).

The mask would even find its way into your bedroom, his stage persona following and you ate that shit up

Being putty in his hands when he’d get rough with you when he wore it

Most definitely fucking you from behind in front of a mirror, him gripping your hair to pull your head back just to make you look at him in the mask, his blue eyes intensely staring back at you

Or when you’d be riding him, grabbing it from the night stand and slipping it on. He’d lose his mind, groaning at the sight—drilling up into you feral for more

He has tons of photos of you in his mask and jacket, Adam even taking photos of you with the other band members in the items

Poor IV listens to the guys joke you would be a much better replacement, always grumbling a fuck off as you blow him a kiss, but as he leaves playfully moping he’ll make a gesture of catching the air kiss and smashing it to his cheek or lips.

Don’t forget the few of you in just the mask and jacket he’s taken (100% has it printed in his wallet or hidden behind his phone case)

Despite his more broodier/reserved nature, he loves showing you how much he cares with acts of service and quality time

If he has to wake up earlier than you, there’s always your favorite beverage to wake up with and pastry on your bedside

After a crazy night out despite how fucked up he is, he makes sure you’re okay and settled first. He’ll make sure the makeup remover is close at hand, even helping to take it off if needed. Making sure you’ve had a snack, and have water with an aspirin before bed.

It’s even more endearing when you hardly drink, and in his most inebriated state clamoring all over your house or room trying to take care of you. Still refusing to let you fuss over him

Sometimes during shows, you get anxious or overstimulated to feel comfortable to grab from the snack table backstage. So he’ll notice and stop what he’s doing without complaint, grabbing an assortment of your favorite things without asking. Handing it to you pressing an affectionate kiss to the top of your head, “just for you, love.” Then returning to what he was doing

Always going above and beyond to plan days with just you and him. At home, on tour—doesn’t matter he loves just spending time with his favorite person

Whether it be a crazy excursions/cute dates at the city the band was stopped at or laying in bed watching movies and eating tons of food

Admittedly he loved the slower lazy days sometimes more since it felt like his lifestyle was always non stop. Especially if it just involved tagging along with you for your everyday errands and then coming home to cook dinner together

Then at the end of the night after you two had a couple of glasses of wine, he’d spend hours worshipping your body

Just something about the slow and simple routine, made him want to take his time on you. All his movements intentional with the love and care

Hips lazily thrusting into you, brushing the hair out of your eyes. “Fuck,” he would hiss as you clenched around him. “That’s right, I got you.” Pressing his forehead to yours

[sleepanonymous]

(source)

[scarlet-and-ultraviolet]

Read more...

[aquareegia]

i just read an article about sleep token, where they were described as hornycore lmao

[melit0n]

EUCLID ANALYSIS.

Told you guys it was coming, didn't I? I apologise that this has taken a bit longer than expected, my mental health hit me like a bullet train, but I do hope it's sufficient.

Part one -> You're already here!

Part two -> Line by line analysis part 1

Part three -> Line by line analysis part 2

Part four -> Musical/intrumental notes

Part five -> The Night in Sleep Token

Part six -> Conclusion

Please note this is a general analysis. Although I do go into theories, both my own and others, this is just general thoughts. Also note when I speak of Vessel, I mean Vessel as a character, not the person, unless I specifically state so.

Tagline: @rilllvri @a-s-levynn @fivewholeminutes @euclidsvessel @tonguetyd @moonchild-in-blue @kkarmatic @branches-in-a-flood

+ Some people were worried about spam liking/reblogging the last time I did one of these big analysis posts, and I want to say please don't worry about that! I get happy when I see the same users pop up liking and reblogging my work, because it means you're interested in this enough to go through the whole thing. Feel completely free to add your own thoughts, correct any errors I've made etc. As per usual, my DMs are completely open to anybody wanting to discuss ST <3

Let's start off with the basics. ‘Euclid’ is the anglicised version of the Greek name Eukleídes (Εὐκλείδης), mainly known via the ancient Greek mathematician Euclid of Alexandria, who is seen as the ‘father of geometry’, and most famous for his work on symmetry. Its general definition is something or someone who is renowned and or glorious (A) and the lesser known definition is something that is a copy of the same (B) (taken from Euclid’s ideas on symmetry), which we’ll come back to in a bit.

However, there is another Euclid in history that we’ll be referencing; Euclid of Megara. This Euclid, similar to our mathematician, was an ancient Greek Socratic (having been a pupil of Socrates) philosopher. I’ll be taking part of a text out of his Wikipedia article since his ideas have been explained thoroughly there.

(we'll be coming back to him soon)

First off, this is an incredibly interesting choice of name for a song. Outside of someone's maths and philosophy class, this name doesn't exist to most, so the fact it's been chosen at all is intriguing.

Vessel has shown time and time again he enjoys sometimes elaborate references in his art, an example being chemistry and biology in TPWBYT (most notable would probably be ‘Telomeres’), so, I think it would be easy to say that, whether it be a reference to Euclid the Mathematician or Euclid the philosopher, that said reference is understood and intended by Vessel.

So, let's start with our mathematician, shall we?

What I find interesting about Euclid of Alexandria is that his life and existence outside of his work on geometry is almost completely unknown. There's almost nothing known of him, as a person, other than where he spent half of his career (Alexandria; Egypt, hence his title), where he may have studied (Platonic academy) and a general idea of when he lived (around 300BC). What is known about this insanely famous man who created the foundations of symmetry is incredibly barebones. People take Euclid at face value for his work, just like Vessel (both as an artist, and a character).

Further, we, as listeners, don't have much of an understanding of who Vessel is other than being a mouthpiece of a deity known as Sleep, someone once human now grasping at the threads of humanity and someone sharing some of his struggles in life (both with Sleep and unknown people). Like Euclid, he is barebones, we take him at face value; a vessel. He is both a mouthpiece for Sleep, a mouthpiece for his own emotions (obviously) and a mouthpiece for us. His experiences transcend being just his, due to his anonymity, therefore allowing us to connect and express our own experiences. It's music for the sake of music; expression.

Now, having talked through Euclid as a person, it's time to talk about Euclid and his symmetry. Symmetry in shapes is 'reflections, rotations, translations, and combinations of these basic operations. Under an isometric transformation, a geometric object is said to be symmetric if, after transformation, the object is indistinguishable from the object before the transformation- a copy of the same’. So, of course, this means shapes like squares, rectangles, parallelograms and circles. Circles are a representation of infinity, wholeness, unity and loops. What does Euclid do? Loop itself (starts and ends with B major, which also happens to be the same chord that TNDNBTG starts with), and loops the three albums together, musically and lyrically.

Now, onto Euclid of Megara.

Euclid was born in Megara, Athens and was a follower of Socrates (sneaking into Athens to hear him speak, and he was also present during his death). He is most known for his philosophy that good is the knowledge of simply being and that the opposite of good does not exist, aka evil. The Good is described to be a perfect, eternal, and changeless Form, existing outside space and time. A form of Heaven without a God.

This idea could be linked lore-wise with Sleep Token; Sleep could, in a way, be The Good literally. Bliss. Further, with the idea that there is no actual opposite of good, then how can anything be bad? How can Sleep, as a deity, have bad intentions if there is no actual evil?

So far, with these two notable figures in mind, we can perceive Euclid as one of two ways (and there are more ways to come). Euclid can be seen as quite literally being a form of symmetry; a parallel that Vessel lays his life on because it brings all of the produced albums, all of his stories, together. Or, we can think of Euclid as Vessel. This brings me to @euclidsvessel's post on their theory on Euclid; what if Euclid was Vessel’s name before he became a vessel?

The theory that Euclid could be Vessel’s old name is not only extremely insightful, but very plausible as well. They explained their points very well in their original post, and I don't want to repeat what they’ve already said, so I do implore you to go read that! It's not detrimental to needing to understand this post, but I highly recommend it. Despite this, I am here to both support their argument and bring my own comparison. Take a look at the cover art for Euclid:

Let me repeat the lesser-known definition of Euclid; a copy of the same. A clone. A replacement. Held in the right hand is the decapitated head of Vessel's old (2nd gen.) mask. Specifically, the one that covers his mouth; the version that relinquishes the most amount of humanity. The album art is a representation of change portrayed in a symbolically gory way. Beheading, depending on the era you’re working from, symbolises both vengeance as well as a form of purification. By cutting off the head, you remove any ‘unholy’ thoughts. It's also among one of the most horrific and humiliating ways of killing someone (since it was typically done publicly, and sometimes the heads were placed on spikes of battlements as a warning).

Furthermore, there's a theory that's popped up a couple of times, lore-wise, that Vessel is not the first person to be turned into a vessel of Sleep, and he certainly won't be the last. So, considering the literal album art illustrates a replacement of Vessel, I’d say that theory is pretty much confirmed. In conclusion, the album art can either be interpreted as how Vessel will eventually be discarded and replaced by another vessel, or how Vessel himself will change, for better or for worse; clawing out of his own skin to become “someone new”.

So, to compare the idea of Euclid being Vessel’s old name, and to create the third perception of what or rather, who, Euclid is, what if Euclid will be the eventual replacement for Vessel?

[infernalodie]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 || 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞���

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭? 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘜𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶“

Inspo: Sleep Token - The Appartition

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Fem!reader

Summary: A wound unattended to will fester and take its hold on the person’s body...

Warnings: angst, character death, and faint symptoms of schizophrenia (for plot purposes)

A/N: A fic that I finally finished after weeks of not acknowledging it’s existence and Sleep Token’s album motivating me to finish it.

Words: 1735

Tara couldn’t sleep.

Those eyes, those lips, that voice. It haunted her. It sliced at her eyelids, forcing them open for hours until her imagination took hold. Shifting between false and reality-bending that obscured her senses. If it be whispers in her ear, dark figures crossing her vision, or shivers that ran down her spine like the tips of fingers running over each curve. The motion resembling a snake curling around each curve of her body, wishing to experience each spot for itself.

She couldn’t escape you…

Her high school sweetheart. A wonderful human, who had simply been manipulated and twisted from an early age. Crafted into a deluded girl that trauma clung to like a virus. But Tara still loved you, even with a knife driving into a person she thought you considered a friend. Even with the Ghostface mask on and with the dark robe, she loved you. Regardless of your wrongdoings, she knew it hadn’t been your fault. You had no way of knowing that following your sister as you did would turn out how it did for you.

It’d been two years of dating before Tara finally grew curious as to what you did in your spare time. What had been the act of surprising you, she showed up at your house butchering one of the cheerleaders from your class. Much like others that had been found dead miles away from Woodsboro. And Tara might’ve been just as twisted, but she didn’t say anything. She kept her mouth shut and never spoke a word about it. But she was cautious of being alone with you. Tara didn’t make it apparent, but she wasn’t sure if she would be the next victim of your vicious rampage.

But it was the way you sought approval from Amber that told Tara all she needed to know. The way you made a display of what you did hoping to impress her. It was a dead giveaway to Tara who was too late to stop anything further from happening.

Tara liked to think that she lost you that night. She liked to think that your soul went somewhere better than here.

Yet, she still felt you.

She could still hear you. Parading around in the reveries of her dreams. A fresh wound waiting for the skin to heal over.

It was almost cruel the type of games you played. Then again, it might just be the trauma. The image of you laying on your back, Amber stabbing you in the chest repeatedly as you cried out, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” It was a mantra that played like a broken record in Tara’s head when she went to sleep at night. Seeing you reach out for her, for help, for a saviour.

She missed you…

Every time she reached and every step taken, you seemed farther and farther away. But it felt like every time she acknowledge even the faintest possibility you were there in some spiritual form, you grew louder and made yourself known.

And at some point, Tara was going to snap. She would finally break under the torture you were submitting her to. But tonight, after spending so much time with Sam, Chad, and Mindy, she finally felt the grasp of exhaustion take its hold. Ignoring her sister as she marched into her room and slammed her door shut, collapsing in her bed, lazily peeling articles of clothes and replacing them with something more comfortable; grey sweatpants and a white tank top. And before she knew it, the softness of the blankets and the sinking sensation of her mattress allowed her to shift into dreamland.

“Tara~.” The sing-song tone of a voice called out to her through a sleepy haze that clung to her. “Tara, baby. Are you alright?” Fingers glossed through her hair, a gentle hum of approval vibrating through her chest, lips twisting into a small smile. It became enough to stir her to finally recognize someone to be with her.

In the disorientating filter over his thoughts and vision, her eyes slowly peeled open. Half-lidded, stinging with the need for sleep, she squinted slightly to focus her swaying gaze. Her eyebrows slowly scrunched together. Those familiar lips smiled down at her in slight amusement.

It took a few moments for her mind to catch up to what she was seeing. But when she did, she wasn’t holding back. She screamed, scrambling back and out of her bed. Rubbing her eyes roughly, hoping it was just the craftsmanship of her mind. When she pulled her hands away, she found you standing there anxiously, hands fiddling with one another.

You were here, fully. Not in flickering lights. Not a whisper. Not a shiver along her back.

“Hey, baby,” you whispered nervously. “I know this is unexpected, but I wanted to see you-”

“You aren’t real!” Her yell made you flinch, heart slightly cracking. Tara shook her head, eyes clamping shut in an attempt to force reality back into place. “None of this is real. You’re a fraud. This is all my imagination.”

“Tara-”

“Stop talking!”

“Baby!” You yelled, silencing Tara as her eyes snapped open to stare at you. You lifted your hand, fingers curling and knocking against her headboard. The audible sound of something meeting the wood echoed in the room. “I’m here, with you. Right now. This isn’t some fake fabrication of your mind wanting to torture you for what happened.”

Tara pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes. Her mind fractured the longer she tried to differentiate what was real to fake. But she knew this was fake. You weren’t actually here but in some form of spiritual manifestation in her dreams. That could be the only justification for this.

“Why couldn’t you be here?” Tara trembled, back pressed to the wall. Her eyes were glass that never blinked or flickered away from your smaller figure. Those same beautiful eyes stared up at her with a cheerfulness that she missed seeing every morning at school. Now, she was only allowed to see it in the false acquisition of reality. Her mind conjures up fraudulent beliefs in response to a trauma she would never be able to feel or see again. “Why can’t you be real?”

You tilted your head, smiling softly as you slowly closed the space between the two of you. Just like in the movies, Tara expected your hands to phase through. But when she felt the warmth of smooth palms grasps her arms, she nearly sobbed. Legs wobbling as she stared at your hands, absorbing in the warmth as if your touch was a fire in a snowstorm.

“Why aren’t you real? Why couldn’t you come with us? Why…? Why…” She fell into mantras, melting in your hold as you slid your hands up her arms, past her shoulders, over her neck, and stopping at her cheeks.

It stilled her for a moment, long enough that she could take in your smile. “What I did…it was inexcusable Tara. But that doesn’t mean you should allow me to hold you back.” You pursed your lips, tilting your head, eyes blinking rapidly to remove the tears that hung along the brims. “But I…I wanted to be with you for a little longer. See you, feel you, hear you. I wanted it for as long as I could before I had to go.”

Sniffling, you caressed her cheek and smiled. “But I want you to know I love you. I’ll be waiting for you.”

Tara’s eyes welled up with tears, nose stuffed as she breathed heavily. Forcing her eyes to meet yours, her head tilting to sink into your warmth further. “Can I come with you?” She asked, voice cracking. “Please?” She didn’t want to go another day without your innocence in her life. The clueless look on your face whenever Chad made a dirty-minded joke. The purest emotions when Tara first took your virginity. How you looked up at her, afraid. She missed how you clung to the warmth of her body that night and how it seemed to link the both of you in unexplainable ways.

She didn’t want to let any of it go.

Hearing her plead made your heart shatter, swallowing the lump in your throat. You hated leaving her as you did. The way it went was traumatizing for not only her but for yourself. Seeing Amber hurt you as she did, not a day went by that you wished you hadn’t listened to her. You could be living with Tara in New York and going forth with a life you envisioned with her. Which only made it harder for you to deny her.

“You know you can’t, baby.” Tara’s face twisted, head bowing as you held her cheeks. “But-“ You placed your index finger under her chin, forcing her brown orbs to connect with yours. “-I’m always going to be near. I’ll just be…a little more quiet for you.”

Tara couldn’t comprehend how you could smile through those words. How even the faints tremble of your lips didn’t sway the light in your eyes. To be fair, she never understood it even when you were alive. But that’s why she fell in love with you in the first place. You never decided to put yourself first when it came to her or your guys’ friends. You kept a caring and warm glaze in your eyes that anyone would underneath. She just didn’t want to let it go.

“And even when you feel like everything is falling around you. I’m always going to be here.” You pressed your hand to her chest, fingers slightly curling into the fabric. An immense heat radiated from the touch and filled Tara’s body. “I’m always going to love you, Tara. No matter what happens, I’ll be waiting here for you.”

Tara shook her head, watching you step away. “Just let me come with you-!” When she took the first step, the floor gave out. The wind whistled past her, hollowing her senses until she gasped, shooting up from her bed.

“Tara! Hey, hey, hey! You’re okay. Breathe.” Sam’s voice was acknowledged, but Tara couldn’t stop her chest from rapidly falling and rising. Choked breaths restrained and cut in half. Tears began to break through the wall she had placed months ago, leaving her a weeping mess in her sister's arms.

Why couldn’t you be real?