#so I get it. but I’m also still pissed :) abt the whole situation not. at any singular member or staff or anything

[petrichorium]

Happy anniversary of the time I wrote 20k words in a week and got ghosted by the artist who was supposed to make art for the fic lol

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari I’m crawling through the desert in need of water…humbly I beg & plead for your Ken-geto twin AU headcanons 🙏🙏🙏 I think they’re the only thing that can quench my soul rn

ODI . MY BELOVED . I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WAHHHH pls take a seat and get ready for a long long rant……… i’ll do my best to quench your thirst 🙏🙏🙏

OKAY SO . god. where do i even begin………

basically!!!!! i’m writing a fic where kenny is. your best friend’s older brother <33333 the best friend in question being sugu!!! i still haven’t decided if they’re twins or if kenny is a couple years older…… buuuut either way i have lots n lots of thoughts abt their dynamic :33 and how the two of them treat you!!!! sugu is just…. your reliable, soft best friend, and kenny is . the way he is 😭 but anyway…..

i picture kenny as being a bitttt of a bad boy in this au?? not exactly. but like. he has a tongue piercing and moved out really early and he’s maybe a little bit twisted . cares abt suguru but can’t really show it. he’s silly and talkative but also a bit condescending…. a bit of a know it all…… i feel like he almost acts more like a father than an older brother sometimes which suguru absolutely hates 😭 there’s a lot of tension between them!!

personality wise i feel like suguru sort of . adapts to kenjaku? he’s a bit of a social chameleon. and he really doesn’t like the idea of people seeing them as similar…. so if kenny is acting more serious and pretentious, suguru acts more childish — and if kenny acts more silly then suguru takes a more responsible role . it’s like that!!! it’s weird bc i see suguru as being very sincere at heart, and kenny as being fairly insincere, but with the way they act you could get the impression that it’s the other way around. kenny doesn’t care abt how others view him, suguru very much does. but sugu has a sincerity to him that kenny kind of lacks?? ig it’s less that kenny is insincere and more that he’s just. detached. in a way.

also sidenote kinda but !!! i picture both sugu and kenny as sweater boys 😭😭 they LOVE their sweaters. i feel like kenny wears turtlenecks religiously. and sugu goes out of his way to wear more leather jackets and hoodies bc he doesn’t like when they’re wearing the same stuff LMAO…. kenny sometimes makes their outfits match just to piss him off <333

anddddd going back to the whole . brotherly rivalry stuff…… i think kenny was always a bit of a black sheep growing up . and bc of that suguru automatically became the golden child!!! sugu can be mischievous and bratty but he gets away w it bc he’s the youngest/good at hiding it…. and in front of their parents he’s always very straightlaced. it’s almost like suguru holds back just so that he won’t appear similar to his brother, which i think kenny kind of finds pathetic. there’s just soooo much to their dynamic 😭😭 they’re similar and different and just. gah. they give me a headache!!!! bc kenny is such a wildcard in the way that he acts, and suguru is so prone to changing himself depending on the situation he’s in.

but overall i just feel like kenny is pretentious and teasing…. and kinda mean . while sugu is well-behaved and calm, but a little more teasing and silly around people he’s close to….. and he’s also super kind . he’s warm!!!! and kenny is sort of cold. that’s the way i picture their dynamic. but it’s very fluid i think …. sometimes kenny acts like the oldest, sometimes the youngest LMAO

ANYWAYYYY gosh i’m already yapping so much 😭😭😭 I HOPE YOU’RE STILL HERE ODI ….. here’s another drink for you 🧋 .

now !!!! when it comes to their dynamic with you…… 👀👀 suguru is just a protective softie. he loves you so much!!! you’re his bestie!!!! and you’re the only one he ever acts bratty and pouty with…. he just feels comfortable around you :’3 so he can let his guard down and be a little silly… a little teasing….. but he’s always always always taking care of you . a warm sunflower boy <333333

then there’s kenny who . bullies you a bit 😭 JUST A BIT . bc he likes seeing your reactions <3 he’s kind of like your typical intimidating best friend’s brother…. a little scary ……. a bit of a dick….. he looks after you in his own way but . he doesn’t coddle you the way suguru does. when you’re kids he’s someone you look up to, but also someone you’re a tinyyyyy bit afraid of . but you get a crush on him anyway . and he has a soft spot for you. and then he leaves and doesn’t return until a couple years later ………. and he hasn’t really changed. but he’s less of a bully and more of a teaser. maybe a little condescending. but he’s charming, yk? alluring.

anyway as you can see i’m getting carried away LMAOO this fic is just . fluff?? kind of??? w a lot of tension 😭 you like kenny and he . well. you just don’t know what he’s thinking . he kind of sees you as a baby bird i think,,,,,,,,, and he’s . the big bad wolf. you get the vibes …….. here r some snippets of the fic just for fun!! it’s very near and dear to my heart hehe

—

—

…….. he has me in a chokehold i fear 💔

[spaciebabie]

Spacie help I need confirmation from my fave Springtrap simp

Do you think Springtrap was asleep when he was first brought to fazbear frights and was therefore incredibly confused when he realized he was somewhere completely different.

Also help my brain went Burntrap is kinda and I’m dying inside…

well if the theory that burntrap isnt actually afton but the mimic is true you wont have too much ta worry abt actually but as for your other question-

under the cut because i talk too much

i like ta assume that he was conscious for all 30 years he spent in that boarded up room and was therefore driven mad by it (stay with me). seeing shadows on the walls, hearing voices that arent there, i believe that he was acutely aware of all of his surroundings. he had 30 years ta study the room he was in and probably memorized every speck of dust in there.

and so when someone broke inta the room he was in well, obviously bro is gonna wake up. sitting in complete darkness and quiet and all of the sudden hearing boards being ripped apart and the wall coming down? it was probably frightening tbh. like after all those years hallucinating and stuff he probably thought someone had finally come ta finish him off.

and what do you do in that moment? when you've survived 30 years of torment and yet are somehow clinging ta a life you dont want lose? you play dead of course! he probably looks the part already (he hasnt seen himself in 30 years), he could get away with it no problem. if hes already dead there's nothing more they would want from him, he could survive.

and then phone dude breaks down the wall like "WHOA DUDE!" and springtrap is very very confused. of course he would still play dead (so they think hes just some deactivated animatronic) b/c....i mean?? the consequences of waking up like that with the way he is?? better ta tread lightly! and yanno yadda yadda hes awake thru the whole process of transport, they dont bathe him (at least not very well, which pisses him off), they stick him in fazbear frights and when everyone is gone he roams and does his thing.

i do think that he sleeps, just not very often cuz like. i mean hes dead he doesnt need ta regain any energy its moreso something he does so he doesnt hafta think abt his situation too much. he must escape his thoughts somehow (it doesnt work b/c the nightmares haunt him)!

uhh. i rambled a bit but the tldr; is that i think he was very much awake and at first the experience was quite traumatizing until he got his bearings.

anyway, yu dont needta take my opinion as gospel. you can believe what yu want and its all still valid. i just wanna see him go thru mental anguish. i want him tortured and insane

[motherthroat]

ok see now i'm gonna go down the list again n send u a novel bc quite frankly i'm relentless n want to know wht three emojis u wouldn’t give me + clown around Together 😇

🍪 - this is a given and my motivation behind handcuffing us together for all of eternity duhhh<3

💥 - this is visible to anyone with eyes but i do understand tht it may be nice to hear so yes mori ur layout is very pleasing 👍

🚬 - you Are cool, n perhaps intimidatingly so, but not to me bc you’ve been soft w me before n even tho you're taller.. in my heart, you're my height. or shorter :3

🍜 - see i can’t say this bc i feel like ur skills cannot be imitated bc wht infuses such flavor into ur work is the fact tht it comes from You n it has ur heart in it. so. i will leave all of tht to you n all of the fawning n rabid cheerleading to me 😌

🧠 - yes i learn that there are indeed intelligent life forms out there which is always reassuring and desperately needed in these dark times amen 🙏

suddenly blind and unable to read idk wht the next emoji is omg 404 blue screen of death currently buffering only to finally load…..

🍧 - yes. u are. n i remember sometimes going “omgggg am i special… seeing the soft underside… 🥹👉👈” heheheheheh but again this is jus a Given like. nods at u

🧢 - see idk if i have the proper qualifications to determine whether or not ur a Bro and i would hate to be misdiagnosing out here 😞

🫀 - ok so see the thing abt this one is tht i’m actually a goodie two shoes tht can’t fight n has nonexistent arm strength so this whole killing someone n digging a grave thing would have to perhaps fall to u like . it’s almost a cannibal au situation except we’re not eating them yk? 🫶 but i would offer emotional support ofc n a moist towelette to wipe the blood off. sooo ride or die as in that + i'm your chihuahua guard dog tht would bite anyone's ankle <3 (but this is also a given bc again: the handcuffs. would i cuff us if we weren't ride or dies? exactly.)

🗣 - the thing abt this one is i’d be happy tht ur out there thriving living ur life or i’d assume tht u were here but deleted ur posts before i woke up / logged in bc the alternative would also kill me immediately </3

the only time i’d ever send u a tomato is if i were gently placing one in ur hand bc we were in the kitchen cooking something delicious n u asked me to get u one :) peace n luv on planet earth

i made tht small text n it's still long as hell . rip

𝄢 hey 😎

🍪 ─ u're v fascinating n i mean that. even if u do smth incredibly weird that'll annoy me i'd still go hmm i can fix them. or not bc i'll most likely be knee-deep joining u on wtvr u're doing. u make my ti-dom...... ti-domming

💥 ─ the fact that i'm ur moot rn is prove bc ppl w horrid sense of aesthetic just existing piss me off

🫂 ─ a given. in fact, u can bring up the most outta nowhere, embarassing topic n i won't ever think fuck this lil weirdo asking me stupid shit. tho if it's trivial matters like a post reminding me of u, i prefer to interact publicly. for no rzn................

🚬 ─ no ♡ u are cool... the way i find will byers cool. unintimidatingly so. n the fact that i'm shorter in ur heart is actually sickening to read ngl. this is us denise, this is how we look side by side ↓ 1.) i can rest my chin on top of ur head 2.) if i'm any shorter then we'd both be chihuahua material which is wrong

🍜 ─ ur ability to befriend anyone quick n be generally likable instead of mr. oversuspicious who yells at anybody stepping on his lawn due to a few bad experiences x

❤️‍🔥 ─ do i need to say anyth. c'mon. c'mon. everytime i log in, i wonder what's denise gonna say today abt raggedy ass ppl n what cute stuff is denise gonna come up w. u helplessly dying on the floor due to ur lactose intolerance for the 5th time is Content. atp i'm an enjoyer of a whole denise* not just denise the st blog

🧠 ─ maybe. not necessarily learning new things but being reassured that smone hasn't forgotten the thing

─ ok? i was making a creamy red sauce rigatoni w flan as dessert n u gotta pay the kiss the cook toll to even get the flan i put on the upper shelf but ig smone is full. more for me 🙄

🍧 ─ another given. n here's the thing: i don't like it when ppl get 💗💞💓💕💖-coddly w me. s not inherently bad, just that a lot of em expect u to match energies/respond similarly which is. i don't do that. n i don't like how fragile sm mutualships can be over it. but i don't mind u barfing ur love all over my activity partly bc ik uk how i am n none of my painstaking push n pull will deter u + it's U. that's it

🧢 ─ pft no. never even crossed my mind. u hv ZERO bro energy

🫀─ i knew u have the arm strength of soggy fries so i alrd fully assigned myself to do the brute work yes. on a srs note, u're my Friend friend. now me making a distinction between a friend n a Friend friend seems terrible but the latter isn't just existing in the same space peacefully, no, i wanna get to a point where u n i fight over small things n make up 5 mins later. i want us to bonk e/o on the heads. i want sm henpecking going on when necessary. ik u can be relied on for that level of #trust

❤️‍🩹 ─ *n this is why i wanna meet u irl. i want this so bad it's actually embarassing

🗣 ─ yes but if u're enjoying life away from this lawless wasteland n its chronically online weirdos i can do nothing but let u be. get that fresh O². touch that grass

🍅 ─ why the hell would i give u this. why. not in a million yrs. unless... ☹ peace n luv on planet earth indeed. later i'm peeling chilled fruits n sharing it w u on the front porch as we watch the sun set alongside édith piaf's hymne à l'amour

[nonchalantee]

Ooooh, all of those asks look good, but I'll go with BTS for 'not strong or brave' please!

ooo hmmmm this fic is so long :'D it's hard to pick a scene, but i'm gonna go with a dan & lucy one, the morning after they help maddie come down from a panic attack.

They got home late which Dan takes for granted means they’ll sleep in late, but Lucy is up and moving way before a reasonable hour. He watches her dig through her side of the closet and through her drawers, throwing together an outfit more formal than her typical wear: gray suit pants and a matching vest over a white blouse with an exaggerated bow at the neck.

i do like the costuming a lot in this show. lucy's usual clothes are super casual, very comfortable, with a slightly sporty flair. this kind of outfit is more like armor, i think. WASP armor.

“Do you have a job interview you didn’t tell me about?” he asks, sitting up in bed. “Bobby’s gonna be heartbroken if he just got you and is gonna lose you right away.”

what i like a lot abt this is that dan immediately picks up on lucy doing something sus; he's coming in with a joking tone, but this is a query for more information coached in non-confrontational tone. dan's thing is being supportive, so he does try to avoid confrontation as much as possible.

Lucy rolls her eyes. “I didn’t tell you this last night because you needed to sleep,” she says lightly, conversationally. “But I promised your parents I’d take them out for breakfast. It was the only way they were gonna leave without making some kind of fuss.”

lolol lucy knows danny's reaction is gonna be bad. she comes in super casual when she knows the other person is gonna have a big response. there's something else going on with this, too; the night before, dan asked lucy to take care of the parents. it was a pretty big ask and dan wouldn't have made it if maddie wasn't literally having a panic attack in front of him and wasn't literally just about to give birth.

lucy took care of the situation and dan didn't ask any questions - he should have - and this little information bomb is lucy's mini payback for that whole thing. she's not actually mad at dan (or even at maddie), but that whole situation was bullshit and she's still annoyed about it all, her patience is short, and she's not willing to have a long conversation/debate on this. she was asked to handle it, she handled it, and she's still handling it, stay out of her business, etc.

“Uh, no,” Danny says. “We aren’t seeing them-“

“Yes, you’re right, we definitely aren’t seeing them.” Lucy goes into the ensuite but leaves the door open so he can still hear her. “You’re staying home. Or going into work, or whatever, I actually don’t care. I’m going to breakfast, alone.”

“Lucy, come on.”

i don't rly buy into the idea that every relationship dynamic has a boss and a follower. that being said, in this relationship dynamic, lucy does tend to win when they have disagreements. she just has more practice at it as the youngest in a very large family. dan's family ignores or runs away from fights, so he has less skill in that department.

he also just really doesn't like arguing. he's a very big guy and he's always aware that when he gets mad, it has a different vibe than when anyone else gets mad. so when he gets into arguments, he's always kinda hobbled by the control he has to keep over his emotions. he is pissed off here, but because he keeps a tight lid on it, it just comes off as exasperated/annoyed. it's hard for your side of the argument to come across as strongly as you want it to when you can't show the true emotions/depth of emotions. not saying lucy would be scared of dan if he did show all his emotions, but just that this is a very ingrained control habit for dan at this point; he almost always dulls the presentation of his more negative emotions.

She pokes her head out of the bathroom to give him a deeply unimpressed look. “Do you think I want to do this? Do you think any of this is fun for me? Don’t make it harder by fighting me on it. I said I’d do it, so I’m doing it.”

lucy coming in with a mild guilt trip. it's not great, but i wouldn't call it toxic. she's rly feeling the whole "back off now" emotion and dan catches the brunt of it.

“I’ll go with you, then.”

dan rly doesn't want his parents around lucy. it's kind of a knee-jerk protective instinct; he got too used to seeing his parents hurt buck, the other person he feels most protective over. consciously he knows they won't hurt her/are incapable of hurting her in a real way, but he still needs to shield her from them.

“Yeah, no.” She goes up to the head of the bed and kisses him on the cheek. lucy understands this protective instinct immediately lol. she thinks it's sweet but unnecessary. “The only thing worse than giving them something they want is giving something else they want even more. And the only thing even worse than that is hurting you. Stay the fuck away, or else I’m ratting you out to your therapist.” now this is lucy being protective. there isn't a lot out there that can actually hurt dan. mostly it's just his family and himself. here she's protecting him against both.

Dan grabs her hand. “Lucy, you really don’t have to do this. They break promises all the time. It’ll just be a small bit of karmic justice if you don’t show.”

i wanted the physical details of them making small contacts in this fight, like she kisses him, he takes her hand, etc. even when they're in disagreement, they can't stop from making conciliatory gestures to each other - seeking connection, showing affection. it's not a big thing, it's just ingrained. it's like bedrock of their dynamic, almost unconscious, so those things always need to be peppered in. as soon as the hostility falters even a little, one or both of them is reaching out to give the other a small gesture of love.

“Just because they act that way doesn’t mean I get to,” Lucy says. Her code of honor has been invoked.

lucy is the most heroic character type in this fic, in like the classic sense. she's chivalrous. she stays true to herself and to her personal code of conduct at all times.

Dan shuts his eyes and groans, defeated. dan is aware of this, and knows there's no swaying her, no matter what he says or does or who he invokes.

She kisses him on the other cheek, and he lets her go so she can finish getting ready. When she comes out, she’s put on heavier makeup than she usually bothers with and she’s braided part of her hair and put it all in an up-do, something that looks fancy and complicated that Dan has seen her perfect on the heads of half a dozen nieces. Princess hair, they call it.

again i just rly like the idea of dan paying such close attention to her that he can tell all the little differences and knows what they might mean.

“Are you trying to impress my parents?” he asks, not knowing exactly how to feel about that.

“Is that your way of saying I look nice?”

“It’s my way of saying you don’t look like yourself.”

Lucy grins. “You got me.” She does a little twirl. “But I look good, right?” she's trying to deflect him haha. there are some things dan doesn't understand about being a woman and he'd listen if she wanted to tell him, but she's not that interested in talking about it since it isn't often a big part of her life. she has a work uniform, and outside of work, she 99% of the time only wears the things she wants to wear. this is the 1% of her life where clothing matters in a way he's not gonna rly get, and she's honestly fine with him staying oblivious.

“You always look good. But you don’t have to look good for them. Seriously, just throw on a trash bag, maybe they’ll be too embarrassed to be seen with you.” dan understands nothing. he's cute but yeah.

“Yeah, I’m not doing that.”

A bolt of inspiration strikes, then. “Why don’t you give Chimney a call and invite him along? Make it an in-law breakfast. Means you’re not alone with them.” dan is actually very good at compromises. he's like, ok, i can't be there to be a human shield, but i can throw another person in the mix to be a human shield!

hmm the fic also hasn't rly gone into the dan & chim dynamic. they are on good terms - they vaguely knew each other for a few years before buck showed up, just by dint of various lafd things in the city. when buck was 118's probie, dan vetted them a bit tho. chim clocked what dan was doing and talked a little bit about how hard it is to have a brother in the service, and they had a good bonding moment. dan visited him in the hospital with the rebar incident and donated some sick days to the recovery pool for chim.

it got a little weird when maddie showed up, though, because maddie & dan took a while to reestablish contact. chim was obviously instantly team maddie and felt a little indignant on her behalf every time dan snubbed her, though she always said it was justified; but after the doug incidents, they were more or less all happy families. dan feels comfortable trusting chim to have lucy's back, which is actually one of the highest compliments he can give someone.

Lucy pauses. “That’s actually not bad,” she says. lucy is actually not a masochist. she will take any non-dan, non-buck, non-maddie human shields she can get her hands on. “I will call him on the way out there. He’s a guy, your type can get ready in like five minutes, right?”

“I don’t know, Chim can be kinda vain. Maybe give him ten.”

“Good looking out.” i just like it when they banter, i think they're cute

Dan gets out of bed to walk her to the door, and he catches her hand before she leaves. “Hey, you look pretty,” he says, mostly just to see if she’ll blush. dan's the kind of guy who likes to compliment his wife just 'cause

She doesn’t. She winks, forgets her hair is up and tries to toss it, then laughs. “I know.” lucy is a goofball. she covers it up with being badass and hyper competent, goal oriented, whatever, but also underneath all that she's a goof. it only rly comes out with dan tho; her big silly moments tend to be around/with him.

He watches her drive away, then closes the door and walks to the living room and lies down on the floor. He hates this so much it feels like his soul is leaving his body. He hates that his parents have been in town less than a week and already they’re edging their way back into his life. He meant it when he told them he was done with them. But he knew, even back then, that they meant it when they said they weren’t done with him. dan has lived under this particular doom ever since he went no contact with them. it's been a constant dread lol.

They’ve just always loved him too much. Loved him to the point of monstrousness. dan's problem is he does understand his parents and he does love them too. it's just that he doesn't think it's an excuse for the things they've done. he can understand someone and not forgive them - this is the main big diff between dan and buck. buck forgives people once he understands them; dan doesn't. He knows that love is in him, too; that capability. It’s part of why he fights so hard for control, and here is where dan is like eddie! haha, they both loooove to be in control, and are always chasing control/clinging to it. in eddie's case, he doesn't trust the outside world; in dan's case, he doesn't trust his interior self. they both have such a focus on control that it is a basis for how they relate to one another, actually, not that they'd exactly put it in those words. for moderation. He knows what it turns into when love has no limits. dan really doesn't trust himself. i think i've hammered that fact down really hard for most of the fic, esp in the convo with frank, but it is the core of his personality. he doesn't trust himself, he thinks of himself as a monster, he thinks of himself as complicit in abuse, he thinks he's a risk to be an abuser in the future. he has a lot of repressed self-hatred and a fairly bad self image. the way he thinks of himself would horrify anyone who loves him, honestly. he doesn't forgive so he can't forgive himself, it's a whole thing.

why i wanted to commentary this scene in particular is bc i think it's one of the only scenes where lucy and dan actually argue with each other. i wanted to show how they navigate that kind of thing, what discord looks like between them, and what comes out in each of them when they're in conflict. they both get manipulative in slightly different ways. lucy tends to go to an "obviously things are x way, have you only just noticed?" as a rhetorical weapon (you see her deploy it in another disagreement with dan later on), which is p obnoxious and feels very youngest sibling of her. dan would rather lose a fight than show a negative emotion he isn't 100% in control of.

i just also feel like u learn a lot about characters when they do things they don't normally do. so lucy & dan don't normally fight, but when they do, u learn more about their base personalities, their reactions, how they navigate their way out of the fight and back to status quo, etc. so i thought this scene did interesting things and i had fun with it, and it also helped me with writing their later scenes as well bc i felt like i had a better handle on their emotional sides.

[horrorsequel]

My dad got an email today from an ice cream place that we visited yesterday where we did not even have the option to give them our email and I had to like talk to my parents abt how their data gets collected and sold and stuff and my mom was like “no wait how would they even do that” and I had to outline like 4 possible situations for her and she was like “you need to turn that off” to my dad. And like yeah sometimes you can opt out but sometimes it’s just in the eula or tos and just using the fucking thing at all is how they get u and my mom was like “no, you can always turn it off” okay pretend we don’t live in hell. Keep your eyes shut.

My oarents are so funny tho like my dad keeps getting pissed off abt strikes but my mom is pro-strike and like they’re both conservative/republican blah blah but like very often u can tell my mom grew up dirt poor and my dad was middle class his whole life like it’s crazy. Like my mom is still pretty capitalism-poisoned but she’s a lot more sympathetic . And like my dad is in disability but he only like realizes how shitty the gvmnt is abt assistance when it’s happening to him. SOMETIMES when it’s happening to me but not a lot. And like my mom is still weirdly unsympathetic to MY situation and like “you should be glad you’re getting money at all!” And like ofc she sees it that way cos if I didn’t, she would be paying for all my shit.

My parents are crazy miserly and they’re like WELL ITS FOR UR FUTURE and I’m like. You can’t spare any of it NOW to make sure I GET TO SEE THAT FUTURE? like I’m a very I’ll person and my mom is planning on living well into her 90s and she can’t fathom me dying before her but I really really can and it’s like what r u gonna do if I don’t even get that money u made us all miserable over by keeping so much of it in a locked room. Like I’m so. God okay I know if my parents die I will need that money really bad but also like god fucking damnit my mom is always talking abt how she makes a lot of money but we still live like we r poor and like I personally am poor but like my parents won’t even pay to have all the broken shit in my room fixed (windows/ceiling fan) and shit like that man idk sorry this all sounds petty and stupid when I say it out but it’s facing me up all the time. Like they wouldn’t help me get a wheelchair when I couldn’t walk and we didn’t know if I ever would be able to again and I can sometimes now but life would still be easier if I had a wheelchair but even the cheapest one that has everything I need is more money than I get in a whole month god fuck augh sorry

[scuopsie]

I meant to send this yesterday but I deleted it on accident bc I’m an idiot and couldn’t remember what I wrote 🤦🏻‍♀️ Anyway… I completely agree with your Wonho ‘leaving’ poll explanation. Not that changes in music/choreography/styling/general vibes is necessarily a bad thing but there definitely has been changes since then and imo it hasn’t all been positive… (ofc i still love them and will continue to support them/all of their solo careers tho!!) That said, Wonho being made into an outcast is like a black cloud that keeps following them (through no fault of their own). I mean I still get pissed seeing him erased from basically all archival content that’s shown now and the remaining members having to act like he never existed. That whole situation is and will always be a fucking outrage and I hope every single piece of trash person that contributed both directly and indirectly has karma bite them in the ass :)

Also if we could go back to 2019 and go full on dramarama to stop this from happening, hopefully we could get rid of ashy too bc lbr that guy has done more harm than good…

goddd i agree so much!!! I've actually seen this topic being brought up a lot on twt (how mx's music has changed over the years) and I think it was brought up after a few 'unpopular opinions' ppl have shared abt 'Monsta x losing their sound' or something like that and tbh I never got offended over that bc their music has changed and so has the whole kpop. to some ppl it's 'evolved' and to others it's 'downgraded' depending on their tastes. but some mbbs get so defensive and try to make insane arguments against them. like who cares? I wholeheartedly believe if wonho hadn't left I would've liked monsta x' music a lot more. like in some of their recent music u can feel something lacking and I think that's wonho's artistic touches and impact. the wonho erasure pisses me off so much... like that video from a few weeks back (monsta x' most iconic MVs) and it was all post-2019... i was outraged.

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

What do you think about (in fics) the whole having sex without dating like not talking about the relationship or about if it’s a fwb situation etc thing? I’ve read a few where they’re friends and they have sex and it’s like what are they I need details 😭 they don’t talk about it and it’s crazy to me. Irl I either have one night stands or I date (I’ve tried friends with benefits and it’s not my thing) so it’s wild to me that the relationship isn’t talked abt by the ppl having sex lmfao like that’s crazy I’d be stressed tf out what do you mean they haven’t communicated what they are I’m going insane! Also I hate those fics where they’re friends then one of them fucks someone else and it leads to feelings being revealed and they get together like 😂 damn that’s crazy you have feelings for me and still had sex with someone else…but that’s just me! I guess I’m very? particular (for lack of a better term) with my relationships and who I have sex with but I also wonder how much life experience some fic writers have. Also I saw that one post of yours about Eddie being a virgin and I agree…I’ve noticed a lot of people making the reader be a virgin and Eddie’s experienced and that just pisses me off tbh like ok write whatever I respect that but damn 💀 can we just be a whore this time and not some innocent little thing 😂 and he’s some 20 year old guy too not a professional dom or whatever I’ve seen those too 🙄🫢 anyway this has been a vent bc I would sound crazy talking to anyone else abt this 😭😂

No, I totally understand wanting to be able to at least define what kind of relationship your in - be with FWB or one night stand. I know in movies, shows, fics etc there is a lot of just hooking up on the fly - but in my personal experience (I’m pretty experience, not bragging just stating facts) I’ve never just hooked up with a friend out of nowhere. I have had one night hook ups and have been FWB with two people before - but there had been things leading to that point. Flirtation, talking, etc. I’ve never really dated someone, mostly hooked up until I met my husband. It does seem kinda crazy to just fuck your friend but most cases, I think there is a build up. When I write fics, I try to make that build up apparent but I’m pretty sure I’ve been guilty of just having characters randomly hook up but there’s always a conversation afterwards. I don’t think the real work works like that fully. When it comes to not realizing your feelings and hooking up with someone else, only to realize said feelings - not a fan of that in writing either. I get it though for plot reasons, but I think there are better ways to convey that.

Now when it comes to Eddie being a virgin. Originally post is here - wasn’t my OG post, just added my opinion. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a virgin. Having truly know an Eddie in high school, I was completely in love with my friend Jeremy who was a metal head - Megadeth was his band, I can truly believe Eddie was a virgin. Maybe he got to second base, but no home run for him. My friend Jeremy, we had this thing going on for years and I ended up taking his virginity. Before that he was a total dud with girls. He was also a 19 year old kid. So it makes sense.

Lastly, I love venting! Thank you!

[kithtaehyung]

OH IM SHAKING SO HARD RN RYEN??

new favorite chapter. idc. I was at the edge of my SEAT the whole time and I had to reread so many parts to make sure my brain processed everything right 😧 I’m definitely going to reread after sending this and maybe before I go to sleep.. and maybe during wor- 🫣

the sex scene was so fucking HOT oh my god I did not expect yn to bite back either shes so hot oh gosh 🫣 possessive yoongi and yn.. what a combo my mind is scrambled.. TBH I had a feeling yoongi was going to sneak through the window when you dropped the title a few days ago and when that scene came into play I was on CLOUD NINE.

OH AND U WERE SO DIRTY FOR GIVING ME SCARED WITH 3TAN BRO I was screaming every time bro appeared or cockblocked 😭 and I was audibly telling him to go away 😭 BUT BESIDES THE NASTY STUFF ( I would’ve wrote more but im still processing everything my mind is blank HDJCJSJ BUT JUST KNOW IT RUINED ME. PISSED OFF YOONGI? I WAITED FOR THIS ONE. )

YN AND YOONGI GETTING MATCHING JEWELRY OHH MY HEART! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I HOPE THEY’LL BE ABLE TO WEAR THEM WITHOUT GETTING SUSPICION 🥹

AND SUSHCUDJFNSK JIN KNOWS NOW HDJDISNE I SCREAMED AND JUMPED FROM MY SEAT WHEN HE SAID THE LAST LINES..

THANK U SM FOR SERVING US A 5 COURSE MEAL RYEN! DEFINITELY MY FAVE CHAPTER AS OF NOW !! now im a little bit nervous bc im sensing theyre about to get caught by bro from the amount of ppl finding out abt them.. AHHH

- 🍷

i came to a realization jin did not know AND I READ TOO FAST WHOOPS BUT EVEN SO TAE SAYING THOSE LAST WORDS .. PHEW

- 🍷

WINE OMFGGG new fave?? no flippin way that is absolutely fantastic! i wanted it to be tense bc it needed to be (the premise?? the suspense? too good to pass up.) and it was also a nice way to practice tense situations bc i don’t think i’ve written too many scenes like that, if ever. it was playing in my head and writing that out was super interesting. hope it translated well enough! 

READER IS A BRATTT like we know reader is pretty independent and from what yoongi has said about them, he already knew about this bossy side. i can only imagine what was going on his mind... it’s almost as if he wanted reader to be mad for a long ass time just to see what would happen L O L i want both of them so fcking bAD.

HAHAHAH BRO THROUGH THE WALLL i wanted to fcking yell! if you were yelling at your screen, i’m cacking. that’s too good hahahah PISSED OFF YOONGI FOR THE GD WIN. AND THE JEWELRY HELP MEEEE we’ll see if this is canon or not and if they do wear them :’))) 

i’m so damn happy you enjoyed this one, along with the ending that gave me stitches lmfao. it was a blast to write despite giving me some headaches!

[blinkyblogblogbloggy]

march 28-june 20, 2023

i thought you’d be there when i died

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what sucks is well the whole fucking situation but what sucks is that i can’t control the fact that i blame her and i wish i could be mature but i feel like it’s her fuckinf fault for ruining my happiness he made me so happy and he made me laugh out loud till it hurt and now she gets that and that’s fine i guess but it fuckinf sucks and i hate her for it. and i hate him for not staying and making it work because it could’ve. at this point ig i have to admit it, i think i did love him. or do. idk and he fuckinf sucks for lying and manipulating me and he sucks so much for just getting to be happy continuously from me to her and maybe it’s egotistical to say that i made him better but idc i did and the fact that he showed no gratitude or fucking anything and just took all my hardwork and let her fuckinf piss all over it sucks. i wanted to tell him about joliver and the wombat stuffy and lana del rey’s album and i wanted to rant about english class and talk to him but i don’t get to do any of that anymore and it’s his fault but i can’t stop blaming her for it and i hate her because i can’t hate him

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i wish he still liked me i don’t know why i can’t get anyone to like me for more than a year

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i’m so not happy like i can’t stop thinking about him and i think it’s cuz i still think there’s a chance for us to get back together because let’s be fucking honest i love him and he made me rly rly happy and ik she can’t make him feel the way i did ik him better than she does and ik her she’s not like him at all and for fucks sake he was my best friend and i miss him i miss walking home with him everyday she’s such a fucking bitch for taking that away

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the scary thing is peoples unwillingness to stick it through and make it work like idk how evelyn and sidney did it but i’m so happy for them and they’re lovely and i wish i had someone who wouldn’t leave as soon as it stopped beinf so new and fresh and interesting and honeymooning like the thing is we could’ve made it work and we would’ve both been happy we were at the perfect point to start dating and being fully committed lmfso but i guess not like she was just there and she was cool and new and he didn’t know the shitty parts of her like he did mine and sure ig if he loved me he would’ve stayed so ig the problem is no one’s ever loved me enough to stay but i would’ve i rly would have he promised he’d wait and maybe the lie was true at the time ig he sucks he sucks so hard and i hate him i wanna walk home with him i want him to talk to me and go out with me on the weekends and tell me he likes me more than music and that i’m his favourite person and that i make him happier than anyone else and i wanna hold hands w him

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fuck u for ruining me

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he’s still the very first fuckinf thing i think about every time i wake up

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it sucks so fuckinf bad cuz he was the first person i genuinely believed liked me lmfao like i truly wasn’t worried abt it i mean i was at the end and i guess that says a lot i should’ve just seen the signs which i did i was just ignoring them

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ok so i’ve decided that he sucks. now does he actually suck, i don’t think so i think he’s fine and he’s just a person who got confused and didn’t know how to properly handle the situation and it’s fine like it’s not but it is. i wanna be very cohesive here so there’s nothing much left for me to nitpick after. what sucks is that he was my best friend and it wasn’t a gradual process it was a very cut and dry sudden loss basically and it sucked. but what i need to understand is that he doesn’t like anymore and if any part of him does it also doesn’t fuckinf matter because who cares, he made his choice and it’s good that he made it now instead of later on. sure it sucks i have to see him everyday but i can deal with it it’ll be fine. i wanna talk abt what i liked about him first. seems counterintuitive but idc. he was rly rly kind and nonjudgmental of everyone even if they were outright assholes. he put a lot of effort into our relationship and he was always there for me everyday. he made me laugh harder than anyone ever has before. he was respectful and not constantly horny and a dick. the fact that he liked music sm it made him physically smile, it was rly sweet. he takes real enjoyment in things he likes. all his friends think he’s so kind. that’s what made me like him in the first place. he’s so sweet to his mom. he always made time for me. he cared about my happiness even if it was without him. he never made me doubt that he liked me (obviously he did near the end but not before that). there’s also a lot of sweet memories and things but i don’t feel like talking abt those because that’s so much mental energy for smth that isn’t gonna accomplish anything. anyway. idk i think the suckiest part is getting to know someone so well down to the core and then losing them and watching them change. man am i cripplingly upseti don’t know what it is about me that becomes undesirable after a while. with sebastian it was that my feelings were too intense and i totally get that. but idk what it was with noah and idk what it was with dustin. because at first they both liked me more than i liked them. idk what changes. dustin said it was cuz i just didn’t seem like i liked him but that’s such bullshit because u could just ask me lmfao it sucks so bad because as hard as i try not to plan a future w someone i guess it just happens subconsciously and i rly thought we’d spend the summer together and do our university stuff together but i guess not. it’s ok i’m ok this can’t be any worse than noah except it can because noah just left and he had reasons, this is different cuz i have to see him and lake everyday and he quite literally didn’t even wait one fuckinf day like not even one. jesus

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i don’t know what it is about me that becomes undesirable after a while. with sebastian it was that my feelings were too intense and i totally get that. but idk what it was with noah and idk what it was with dustin. because at first they both liked me more than i liked them. idk what changes. dustin said it was cuz i just didn’t seem like i liked him but that’s such bullshit because u could just ask me lmfao

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i think i’m delusional lmfao the thing is i know he rly liked me at one point and ik u don’t rly get over the first person u liked and i also feel like when u don’t get to talk to someone and they stop being available u start liking them more and i feel like he didn’t realize what he was losing and i feel like the fact that he can’t look me in the eye means smth and i miss him and walking home with him and talking to him and knowing i’m his and he’s mine and i feel like if he ever liked me he’d feel that way too and my tarot cards said he likes me and he regrets it and ik that doesn’t mean shit but maybe it does yk but i think in reality he got tired of me and he found someone better who acted more interested in him and he forgot that we had that at some point too and he was like huh this is cool woah and she’s prettier and less insane and not clingy or if she is it’s in a cute cool way and he literally told me he didn’t mean it when he said he’s in love with me and he also said quite bluntly that he doesn’t like me like that anymore so idk what more signs i could fucking ask for lmfao not to mention them holding hands and him walking her home and him going to a party with her in which they were apparently cuddling which makes me sick to my fuckinf stomach like what a fucking i mean i can’t even be mad i did the same shit idk i just miss him and being friends with him and knowing i’m his favourite person and that he writes songs about me

sometimes i wish he could read all this. i feel like knowing someone cares abt u so much would make u care too but that could be a delusion

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lmfao he talked to me today. fucking pathetic loser. he hasn’t looked me in the eye in like two months

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ik this is edgy and emo but i wonder if the world was ending if you’d think of me

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she had a hickey on her neck today i think. go her ig. idk. i hate him so much

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now i have to pretend i can’t read ur mind

yk it could also just be me and my lack of being lovable because tbh maybe i am like maybe i do just fuckin suck because yeah idk man he could also just be a jackass

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i think my whole fucking life is just built upon how happy i was in the past and how miserable i am now. idk what i do wrong every time

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i spoke to him today and i wished him a happy early bday and he said thanks you too and that’s slightly funny and not dry i guess idk he doesn’t give a single fuck about me. i know that. noah confirmed that. he’s happy w her and he has not thought abt me like once and i need to fuckinf let it go man jesus christ but i miss him and i miss that i made him a bday card last year

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he laughed at my jokes today before she came to class. i hate that i know him and i hate that soon enough she might know him better than i ever did and i hate that she does the exact same things i did i hate it so much i

-----

i hate everyone i’ve ever loved for losing feelings because i don’t think i have. idk how i could

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idk i think the fact that he moved on so fuckinf immediately and with the person i was worried abt is the problem. and the fact that he told me he’s in love with me and that he doesn’t like me anymore in the same day. yeah man idk do i miss him yeah did he make me laugh harder than anyone else yeah was he really kind and gentle yeah but he also without any remorse of any kind or any acknowledgment or any appreciation for the time we had together, ruined our connection. like i hate how he did that i hate how it was even possible for him to do that and i hate her too

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it feels so unfair that she just took my support system. like who am i supposed to talk to abt my grandparents or my dad or myself or anything. why does she get to just do that. why does he get to just take himself away from me. like why is his happiness with her matter more than mine. i’m not sure what i feel. like i liked him so much but now idk because god idk

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does she know him better than i did that would suck. i think i just don’t understand why it ended like this. like noah said he just wasn’t in love with me anymore and honestly that hurt but it made sense like yeah sometimes u just don’t feel in love with someone anymore. how granted, even that we could’ve figured out but at least his reason made sense. i guess his does too it’s just upsetting. he stopped being interested in me when there was someone more interesting and exciting and less flawed to be interested in. that just sucks. i think it’s ruined my self esteem because i don’t know what’s wrong w me to have made him do this. like he’s so goddamn happy now and idk if i made him miserable. he never acted like i did he always said i made him even happier than music. idk. i guess there’s no difference between this and how i ended stuff with ruby to date sebastian. seb was more interesting and challenging and ig that’s what got me. idk. so i can’t blame him really. like it sucks that he did this but idk it hurts so much a lot of the time because it’s like. i want to tell him things and i wanna show him things and i wanna be with him and talk to him and i want to make him laugh but i can’t because she does all of that now and it’s so unfair because i don’t understand why she’s better than me. like i do, she’s prettier and smarter and more confident and cooler and more interesting but i don’t understand why i don’t deserve to be happy too. why do the two of them get to be fucking beaming at all times while i wanna kms. i just sound bitter now. i just wish he would’ve wanted to stay.

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it’d cool if this was true. i’m not sure how to deal with this to be honest because it’s never been like this before. when i’ve broken up with people i just never see them again and even then they have more respect for me than he did. but i have to see him every fucking day with her and it’s so fucking awful and idk what to do like i feel so shitty because why is he so happy with her i thought i made him happy. maybe i’ll talk to him tmrw idk why that would ever help but maybe it will but prob not that would just make things even fucking worse. i also took ten pills so let’s hope i don’t idk get sick

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i think that i deserve to be happy. and so does he. because he truly is not a bad person he’s allowed to make himself happy and he is and that’s good. and i’m allowed to be upset but i don’t want to be. i cant stop crying jesus christ but it’s not crying over him it’s crying over how i’m not happy and that’s not fair to her.

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i think that it’s going to take me a long time to get over this because i see them everyday. and because they do everything that i couldn’t do with him because of her. and he’s so happy and unapologetic and ig that’s good for him but darn tootin does it hurt

[starfxckersinc]

so my grandpa died a month ago and my step-aunt and step-uncle in law filmed some of his final moments & posted their Baptist friends singing hymns to him on FB and when my mom freaked out abt that they lied and said they hadn’t done it & took a restraining order out against her on the day of his funeral so if she had gone she might have been arrested and it blew up into this whole thing that ended up getting my biological uncle to hate her bc he sided with the baptists and now she has basically no family left. and it’s such a traumatic experience obviously that I’ve encouraged her to see a grief counselor/talk therapist just to get this shit out with someone who can help her bc she’s just going to stew in it forever otherwise. and she’s kinda talked about nothing else since this shit went down, which is understandable bc she’s still dealing with my grandpa’s estate + closing his business for him so it’s an ongoing sore, but my dad asked her how her day went and she started going into rehashing the entire debacle with her friend and I said “damn, is there anything to still rehash” and my dad laughed and agreed with me so she just went dead silent and has been sighing/not speaking to either of us and I knew 15-20 minutes before she even said anything that she was pissed, what she was pissed about, and I didn’t even need it explained bc I’ve been predicting her emotions my entire life. and on the one hand I feel bad bc I know she needs support rn from the only people she has left, on the other hand like. we have talked about this constantly for over a month and she will just demand answers out of me or ask me questions abt something I just don’t know how to help her with. and at that point I think it’s time to talk to someone bc I don’t know what To Do and I guess the answer is just listen, but it’s also not a passive listening situation with her, it’s like I have to be engaged with this topic I can’t assist with and don’t have answers for. like I can be here but I’m not a trauma specialist or a grief counselor. and to lock down and give me and my dad the silent treatment so that I immediately predict what ur fuckin problem is and I’m scared/upset by ur behavior is so.

[mosviqu]

started reading one room of happiness and the way i flung my morals out the window the second onii-san smiled LIKE @.@ the way i had to re-evaluate everything when it was revealed that he was 26?! (i choked on my water actually) and when i started to get pissed at the new workmate girlie who was following him around like why am i fine with his situation with sachi but not fine with this (SIDE EYE) what a twisted tale indeed…

also i remembered watching a youtube video abt a real event that went like this and i’m wondering if this manga was based on that e.e feels like it is tho i haven’t looked it up yet. (sorry this is a block of text, my emojis fuck up the ask format x.x)

no because onii-san's smile is the most precious thing i loved this manga embarrassingly a little too much AHAHAHA. it was the first manga i picked up so i have a soft spot for it but the plot is so interesting and everything ??? AND WDYM HE'S 26 I MISSED THAT ?? :DDDDD THAT MAKES THE WHOLE THING KIND OF MORE WEIRD BUT.......im closing my eyes. the new workmate girlie was getting on my nerves fr. like why are we against her when we are literally suppporting a stalker and a kidnapper <3

i did hear about the event before, so i think it might be inspired by that!! i still havent gotten around to reading the last vol because im pretty sure no one managed to translate it yet so im sulking ;-; hope someone gets to it soon bc i wanna see how this twisted weird but addicting manga turns out. ((also dont apologize for the lack of emojis im typing this from my laptop so i wont add any either LMAO)

[aro-aizawa]

my brother: so dad wrote you a christmas card, since you ignored his texts a few weeks ago, do you want it?

me: does it have money inside? if not im not interested

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

[catastrophicarts]

Can we hear some more thoughts on Maxie getting amnesia because all his memories are stuck in the red orb, please?

YES ABSOLUTELY

was gonna wait to answer this until I could also provide some art to go with it but I’m impatient so it’s just text (for now)

anyway, at first everyone thinks he just can’t remember the events surrounding groudon, probably due to him being possessed during most of it, but it very quickly becomes obvious that he doesn’t remember ANYTHING despite how hard he’s trying to pretend that he does. the concept is set in the omega ruby timeline, so nothing with kyogre really happens, leaving team magma basically under team aqua’s care while they figure out wtf to do with maxie. outside of the teams though, no one is rlly aware of the whole situation and just think team aqua are keeping them in check so maxie doesn’t try anything again (which is also kind of true).

courtney and tabitha are the primary ones leading the effort to try and restore his memory bc archie and most of team aqua don’t actually believe that he has amnesia and just think he’s trying to escape being held accountable by pretending to have memory loss. this is not helped by the fact that maxie is very insistent that he DOES remember everything, which kind of gives the impression that the rest of team magma are trying to cover for him.

…this is also not helped by the fact that they come to the conclusion that the only way to get his memory back is to give him the red orb again. like HELL archie is going to agree to let him have it, seeing how much destruction was caused the first time, and it just cements the idea that the whole thing was a trap meant to trick him into giving maxie groudon again. meanwhile groudon is NOT having a good time with the sudden influx of an entire lifetime’s worth of memories that are NOT theirs.

some side ideas include the fact that maxie keeps a secret notebook on hand where he writes down everything he thinks he needs to remember, which shelly is fully aware of and frequently tells him incorrect things just to see if he actually believes her and writes them down. shelly is the only member of team aqua to actually entertain the idea that he might really have amnesia (mostly just bc she thinks the implications are really funny). maxie THINKS he’s doing an okay job at pretending to still remember everything, but he’s failing miserably and everyone knows it. the most noticeable change is that he seems a lot more cheerful than he used to be, almost to the point where it’s unnerving. he does not remember that he was actually kind of an egotistical jerk.

when he actually DOES get his memory back (through means that I will work out the details for later), it’s a very weird mix of his actual past memory, bits and pieces of groudon’s memory, and also the memories of how he acted while he had amnesia (which he’s humiliated by). he’s also pissed off that it took them so long bc he was absolutely still aware of what was going on while he was stuck in the red orb but couldn’t do anything abt it.

I would LOVE to write a fic abt this bc I rlly love the idea, but I’d have to explore the details more bc for now it’s just a bunch of scattered concepts aha,,

[wanderingwomanwondering]

911 Eddie/Buddie Thoughts, eps 413-501

*a long post and no gifs, I’m so sorry*

Can we talk abt the fact that in 413 bathena have an argument about not being partners and how that parallels eddie’s tendency to be an emotional loner, not revealing his heart until his feelings bubble over? He struggles to trust/confide in others bc he struggles to trust/be honest with himself abt how he feels/what he needs. His reasons are diff than athena’s but it’s still a parallel behavior.

Also in 413 eddie is helping a kid who’s mom is hurting him. That feels parallel at least partially to shannon abandoning christopher which caused harm. Eddie is focused on the kid/christopher, focused on helping him…to the complete exclusion of himself and his needs. This is why he chose to continue with ana supposedly for chris’s sake despite carla’s golden advice. Tho we all suspect that chris doesn’t like ana as much as he lets on/as much as eddie wants to believe. But that’s a side note rn.

Then cut to the end of 413, the gunshot scene. Knowing what we know now from 501, basically eddie taking that bullet is a catalyst. The beginning of the end of loner, partner-averse eddie. It’s the start of him needing to reckon with his own wants needs and desires. He’s not going to stop considering chris obviously but he does need to look at himself his life his heart and what makes him happy. Remember Shannon’s complaint in their marriage was that she needed a partner, and now he’s reckoning with the fact that he wants/needs one too, and not just at work.

There are one or two very grounded non-clown ways to read that gsw scene bc dude was just shot out of the blue and there was plenty of shock and fear to go around. But through the clowning glass, we can also see it as a reiteration that buck and eddie are in fact partners in a big way. They just rescued a kid together just like they’ve worked tirelessly together to save countless other people before him. They are partners. At work. I would argue also in life but I’ll get to that later.

Eddie’s prolonged eye contact with buck, reaching for him. Buck’s shock and terror, staring deeply into Eddie’s eyes and watching him bleed. That whole scene begged the question “now who’s going to save eddie?” Literally and figuratively.

The show starts with the literal answer. buck. It’s finally buck. In 414 he hauled him up, dressed his wound, begged him to stay with him and to live. In Eddie Begins, buck was an onlooker, eddie saved himself in true eddie fashion, but in 414 buck ran point on saving him. Buck dragged him to safety, buck lifted him up, buck stopped the bleeding, and buck served as his lifeline begging him to stay/live.

The other interesting thing I noticed about the scene in 414 in the fire truck on the way to the hospital is that *eddie is not wearing his saint christopher medal*. Buck rips open his shirt to stop the bleeding and the medal is not there. It’s absence is loud af. I squinted to see if it had just slid to the side when buck laid him down but i couldn’t see it at all! Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Anyway that choice, to have the medal not be there or not be visible in that particular scene is huge bc that entire sequence from gunshot to arrival at the hospital is just abt eddie (and buck). In a way, in those scenes at least, buck is wo his armor (firefighter uniform) and eddie is wo his armor (the medal). They are vulnerable in those scenes physically (out in the open, exposed to the shooter) and emotionally (not shielded by their personally meaningful protective items). Combined with the staring and the reaching it’s a big indication that things are abt to get deeper between them (fingers crossed).

Back to 501. remember eddie’s been shot before, in combat. I think what makes the sniper situation important is not just that he could have died (he’s been there done that got the silver star) but that he’s not who he was the last time he almost died by gsw. He’s in LA now, he’s not in the military, chris is growing up, he has the fire fam, he has buck, he’s a widower. Eddie is growing, changing. starting to recognize his emotional needs bc for the first time in his life there’s room/opportunity to do that in a big way and not necessarily have it implode his marriage, piss off his family, hurt chris, or ruin his career. IF he actually confronts himself head on and deals with all the stuff beneath the surface. Repressed. This gunshot isn’t exactly abt his mortality but his quality of life. asking him what’s his life abt and more importantly how can he be his whole authentic self complete with his very own emotions needs and desires embracing love care and support leaning on others. Remember in that one therapy session he had those are the things he wants for chris. Now he has to find and choose those same things for himself.

In 414 by the time eddie is in the hospital, the medal is back and prominent in every scene. He’s back to framing his relationship with buck in terms of chris. But he’s the one making decisions for chris. What he wants for himself and for buck isnt irrelevant here. If it was all abt chris and only chris i think eddie would have told buck abt the will ages ago. If it was all about chris and only chris eddie maybe wouldn’t have struggled so much to say that he made buck chris’s legal guardian if he dies. Nah. I think eddie sees buck as his partner in life too on some level but he couldn’t accept/say that plainly. He had to make it abt only chris in his head in order to be okay with linking their trio of lives together forever through the guardian decision. I mean eddie didn’t even tell buck abt the legal guardian decision bc he was shot, he told him bc buck thought he was expendable! Instead of shaking him and saying you are not and never will be expendable to me, he chose to disclose the will. It was effective for sure. Evan heard him loud and clear. But wow you gave buck a whole ass person, like the person most important to you in the world?? And didn’t say anything until you survived a sniper an effing year later?? That’s a hell of a choice!

Anyway i really hope eddie and buck are on their way to being together bc i can’t take much more of this. Before they get there tho my dude eddie has a lot of work to do this season!

I reference 408 and go into more thoughts on 501 here. I blab abt the heart transplant metaphor in 501 as well as my spec abt parts of 502 by extension here. I am dying to talk abt these arcs y’all like srsly so feel free to rb/comment.