#so anyway.he’s kind-of his own character but also a representation of myself right
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#guys i think there’s a possibility i might maybe possibly kinda maybe be a little non-binary???????#it’s complicated#like. maybe? but also maybe not? but kinda? but not really???#like this might sound weird or whatever but i was thinking about my fursona siaku right#and like. he’s a guy. and genuinely i mean that in the way that’s closer to gender-neutral#like he’s definitely not a woman; and he’s not a man; he’s a guy#is this making sense so far??? i hope so lol#so anyway.he’s kind-of his own character but also a representation of myself right#and like that’s fine whatever people can do all kinds of funky shit with their sonas and still be cis#but like. how doesn viewing them as an ideal form for yourself fit into that#and like the other thing is this could just be me having a weird interaction with or view of the concept of gender??????#cause thankfully my parents didn’t push stuff I didn’t want to do on me (besides necessary things like school & homework and stuff ofc lol)#and idk if it’s because of that or just me inherently as a person but… how do i describe this…..#i didn’t really have gender forced upon me that much (if at all) as a kid#so I almost feel like my idea of myself exists outside of gender?#like the reason I have ‘please assume my pronouns’ in my bio is cause for me#gender’s more so something that other people give me when they look at me rather than something I really scribe to myself#but like also it’s complicated idk#god and the other thing is idk if it’s like sexuality where people are like ‘you’ll know when you feel it’ and don’t elaborate at all#and so I just don’t have a clear frame of reference for things????#(also like. back to my fursona how i feel about him is a whole other thing that’s also complicated..)#(so many layers lol)#anyway.. thanks for listening to me ramble about this lol
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