#(also like. back to my fursona how i feel about him is a whole other thing that’s also complicated..)

[salora-rainriver]

The Sympathy Problem, or "Why I'm Too Much of a Monsterfucker to Get Into Horror"

I don't know what the fuck this is, but I'm writing an essay about a problem that, as far as I know, only applies to me (but i might be totally wrong, who knows).

I think the title speaks for itself, but lemme just elaborate on what the fuck happens inside my brain, and how that fundamentally affects the way I handle horror media, to the point where I cannot truly appreciate it as horror on the same level as everyone else.

now lemme post a cute bat here so that there'll be an appropriate image to represent the whole essay when its link is shared on stuff like Discord:

trust me this was important. Okay, let's keep going.

Part 1: Why I'm a Monsterfucker

Let's start at age 4. I'm a dinosaur kid, like roughly 1/3rd of all autistic bitches. I'm a dinosaur kid to the point of owning multiple Land Before Time movies, and tie-in games, and I think I even had like two plushies at one point.

you know it's serious when this is your childhood.

I also had miscellaneous dinosaur plushies, and dinosaur toys, and a dinosaur book I frequently read front-to-back, and you get the idea.

dinosaur love evolves into dragon love, evolves into "funky monster creatures and animals of all kinds" love. I become a freakish savant of the wonderful world of the animal kingdom really quickly, to the point where my child-brain career prospects include "vet" as a pretty high finalist.

And then I find Starcraft, a game in a genre I otherwise wouldn't have given a shit about... but guess what? it has bug dinos.

it's all over for me.

But like, why? why do I like dinosaur so much?

... because I am dinosaur.

Look. LOOK. I can't give a good comprehensive list on the connections between my particular strand of autism and the state of Being A Dinosaur, because by this point, me being autistic and me being a dinosaur are so completely intertwined that it's often a chicken-egg situation. But the point is,

I make weird noises instead of using my words. I toe-walk. I don't like shoes. Sometimes I like to not wear clothes at all, even. I like to hide in small crevices when spooked. When I'm in a meltdown, I scare people.

Me dinosaur. Or at least, me some type of feral.

So is it any fucken surprise that when I go into an RPG, I latch onto the animal shapeshifter, the furry species, or the person who fights unarmed and/or uses a claw weapon?

Is it any fucking surprise that I am the opposite of spooked by snakes and spiders and other such creepy crawlies?

is it any fucking surprise that I have a fursona?????

is it any fucking surprise that I picked Pokemon Scarlet without the slightest HINT of remorse?!

Part 2: Wait, That's not the Intended Response

now let's talk about horror. Let's talk about the elements that make horror into horror: the fear part.

So what scares people? Well... people scare us. A serial killer, a mad scientist, a cult leader, a corrupt government entity, maybe? or maybe even society itself, its darker side full of atrocities and danger and problems where there's no easy solution and things can often seem hopeless?

... lmao who are we kidding that's not the vast majority of what scares people in horror. IT'S MONSTERS! Monsters scare people!

From Xenomorphs to Jean Jacket to The Babadook, it's monsters! Shit that ain't human and never could be human, and maybe it's pretending to be human, maybe it used to be human, but now it ain't, and it's gonna getcha!

And it just.

I'm a monsterfucker.

I'm not scared of ghosts. Sure he's fucked up and wailing in endless pain and lashing out at everything, but that just makes me feel sad. Like, poor ghost dude. We should help him.

I'm not scared of vampires or werewolves. They're people like anyone else, and sure, there's an inherent danger from being around them, but there's also an inherent danger from being close to an alligator, and I'm sure as fuck not scared of an alligator chilling on the side of the road. Cautious, maybe, but not scared.

I'm not scared of zombies. I mean, if they were real, I'd be a bit spooked, cause I have no combat expertise and would definitely be Fucked. But the same would apply if my hometown became a war zone. And... a war movie won't scare me. So a zombie movie wouldn't, either.

I'm not scared of xenomorphs. I mean I don't want to die, but that just means I should be entering alien environments with all proper safety procedures. TBH I'm more pissed at Weyland-Yutani than anything else.

I'm not scared of the Babadook. I'm worried for the well-being of the family as they try to come to terms with grief, and the monstrous shape that grief has taken. But it seems like they're coping in the end, so that's good.

I'm not scared of Jean Jacket - okay no. I'll be honest. It makes me uncomfortable. I will not be going into detail on the difference between this discomfort and actual fear. That is not a Salora Lore I want to disclose here. If you Know, you Know.

Part 3: Horror ceases to be a genre for me

So the monsters in horror movies don't scare me. And yet... I've watched some horror movies. And I've liked them. From this one list I've been using as quick reference to remind myself of What Horror Movies Exist out there, I've watched a few of these, or am at least familiar with them. You know, I've seen some classic horrors like "The Shining" because I went to film class in high school, and I've watched some installments of classic franchises like "Scream", or oddball picks like "Warm Bodies" and "The Relic", because I was having watch parties with friends.

Even beyond film, I read some Lovecraft once, and I've played plenty of spookier-themed videogames, like... well, like Silent Hill 2. Didn't finish that one. Bcs I'm bad at puzzles. But I loved the atmosphere.

And even when I'm not directly experiencing the horror media, I often look it up, read the synopsis, and watch video essays about it.

I know way too much about Hereditary, Midsommar, Get Out, the Slasher Genre in general, Creepypasta, Resident Evil, and mascot horror, for someone who's supposedly not able to properly engage with horror as a medium.

And I like some of that shit! But uh...

... not. as horror.

I just. Don't engage with them as horror films. I engage with them as whatever other genre you could slot them into. Hereditary is a tragedy. Get Out is political allegory. The Babadook is psychological allegory. Ghost stories are dark fantasy. Alien is sci fi. Slasher films go back and forth between mystery, action, and dark comedy. Warm Bodies is a rom-com. (like. that's not even a weird hot take. I don't know why this Rotten Tomatoes editorial decided it was horror, but I'm not gonna dispute their assertion, Bcs like. this entire essay is about why I'm not a good judge on that sort of thing) Silent Hill is a puzzle-adventure game with light action. Five Nights at Freddys is a time-management simulation game that would stress me the fuck out if I ever played it. Amnesia: the Dark Descent is a stealth game.

You get the idea.

So I'm just... in this really weird position. I'm a huge fan of spooky monsters, strange happenings, stories that engage seriously with the anxieties of mankind through allegory,

but I can't. truly enter the horror genre community as an insider.

Cause I ain't scared.

And honestly, it gets even worse when I start to imagine myself maybe, idk, *writing* a horror story of my own. Because... since I don't get scared by them, how am I supposed to know what scares others? Apologies to my fellow disabled folk for this clumsy analogy, but... it feels like trying to paint while visually impaired. I mean... you can do it. You can do it super well if you push yourself. but it's a strong disadvantage, and it might result in an artwork that could baffle the seeing people in your audience.

And maybe there could be merit in that. In writing my attempt at a horror story from the perspective of someone who doesn't find any of it scary. Maybe it's be intriguing, even surreal or dreamlike or alien to the audience who doesn't engage with this subject matter in the same way I do.

Or maybe it'd just end up similar to that one phase of the creepypasta fad where folks were going "wooo! hyperrealistic blood! isn't it spoopy n fuked up????" and it'll be garbage idfk

Bonus Round: ...Okay I Might've Lied a Bit

There is one movie that for me, truly could be considered "horror".

It genuinely terrified me as I watched it. It shook me to my core and opened my eyes to how other people feel when they see some shadowy monster figure with too many teeth reach out and eviscerate a poor bitch. I fucking get it now, to some extent. I don't know *how* the spiky boy elicits that response in you, but now I understand how it feels.

Because I watched FUCKING M3GAN

[SPOILER WARNING: I'm not saying the exact plot beats of the movie but I AM going into detail about its themes and the character development of the protagonist. It's massive spoilers but they're all vague spoilers.]

Me and my friends didn't pick this movie thinking we'd get spooked. this is the movie where the doll does some sort of modern dance routine while carrying a katana. It's goofy shit! We figured this was goofy ass modern trash and we were gonna laugh.

MOTHERFUCKERS I WASN'T LAUGHING????

Is the premise unrealistic and goofy? yeah. are the characters exaggerated and cartoonish? yes. are there like, numerous jokes throughout this film, that are portrayed as jokes? yes. was the dancing robot doll chase sequence goofy as shit? yes*

*ok but the context of That Scene made my brain gloss right the fuck over how goofy it was bcs I was too fucked up over everything else that already happened!

So like. What? How? How is goofy robot doll horrifying? Salora, you know how many stories about rogue AIs and killer robots there are? Why doesn't skynet scare you?

It's not about the doll. It's about the humans who created her.

This film is as subtle as a fucking anvil when it comes to it's social commentary. Like, "opening sequence is a kids commercial for Deranged Knockoff Furby" and "a therapist character explains attachment theory for a whole scene" levels of unsubtle. and honestly that makes the horror fucking worse. in this bizarre cartoonish parody of society, we're seeing a laid-bare and raw allegory for the real harm we are inadvertently delivering upon real fucking people. Weirdly enough, the exaggeration just makes it feel more real.

and what's "It"? Not the uncanny valley of a too-perfect silicon face, the gruesome deaths, the murderous AI,

No, "it" is the commodification of childhood, the degradation of familial ties and human connection through overwork, the way we try to patch these broken ties with product, the outsourcing of parenting to toys and machines, the disastrous consequences of allowing an orphan to vanish into wish fulfillment fantasy instead of being given space to work through her grief,

the exploitation of her grief in order to market the very thing that's spiraling her further into an unhealthy dependency, to do the exact same thing to children worldwide, all because of profit.

Look. Monsters, ghosts, demons, serial killers, zombies, predatory animals, rogue AI, they're not scary to me, because I know them. and if I don't know them, I want to know them. The solution to the threats things like that pose are simple. Keep your distance from the crocodile. Punch the shark's sensitive nose to make it back off. Invest in security measures so your house doesn't get broken into. Don't anger the ghost. Exorcise the demon. Shoot the zombie's head.

How do you, an overworked engineer for a toy company, find the time to connect with your orphaned niece on a human level?

How do you take away said niece's beloved doll when you slowly come to realize that her attachment to it has become unhealthy?

What the fuck are you supposed to even do when you realize that you might have created a murderous monster and marketed it to hundreds of kids, and your overzealous boss is in your ear pressuring you to get it ready for launch?

WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

Conclusion: But fr am I like the Only One

so uh. yeah.

My fear response is mucked around by an unusually high level of sympathy for the monsters that tend to populate horror media. I'm Too Kinky To be Tortured, and it puts me in an awkward relationship with the horror genre, where the only things that can well and truly terrify me are unhealthy relationships and capitalism, and even then, only if those topics are presented in just the right way to make me feel like this shit is Real.

And like you know how there's a whole language of like, scares and signifiers and shit that's been well-researched, all these tiny tips and tricks to exploit primal fears in humans? (I dont know if language is the right word but im just gonna call it that until further notice)

well, a lot of that Language of Horror doesn't quite work on me, because it's all related to monsters and physical threats, and I love the monsters too much,

and I imagine there is a whole different Language out there of the shit that can be exploited to scare me,

but fuck if i know what it is. I only got a single movie as my frame of reference. How the fuck would you even find a movie that handles social anxiety like that?

Like idk, do y'all think Carrie would spook me? Carrie's about societal ills, right?

[oldmemoria]

caught up with cringetober because I literally forgot to do it, individuals and explanations under cut

Day 1: Heterochromia I’ve come to the revaluation that my sona is already cringe as hell considering not only can his entire body change color but he also has differently colored eyes as a staple of his design. They’re usually yellow and blue but this time I color picked the blue from the trans flag and the mint from the Vincian flag for this color palette, it turned out really pretty :)

Day 2: Self Insert Now she isn’t my self insert anymore, but back in the day when I was at “peak cringe” she definitely was. This is my warriors OC Icypelt and I have a post going over part of her story on my profile somewhere. She’s been through a lot and I think her modern design is very pretty :)

Day 3: Unnecessarily complex fit/design Spider scene is kinda infamous in my brain for having wayyy too much detail but I love them and I think this might be my favorite one out of this batch, super cute, the pose is really cute and the colors are nice and fits her really well :D

day 4: Angel x Devil inevitable MCR reference ik, Helena and Revenge, love them dearly. Poor revenge man this one is cute and looks like a sticker!!

Day 6 (I skipped day 5 because I didn’t want to open up ms paint today): neko i kinda hate this one but cat Gerard yay

Day 7: Pinterest base at first I wanted to draw hobie in place of Gwen but I remembered that I haven’t really drawn Mikey with her even though they’re supposed to be friends so I drew her instead. Idk. The height difference is not accurate because of that but Jumping Spider is small because he’s based on a jumping spider and those are tiny who would have thought

Day 8: tumblr sexyman i have never played undertale a day in my life i just know a lot of people wanted to jump sans’ bones

day 9: Crossover ship/rarepair OH BOY THIS ONE GOES KIND OF HARD AND IM EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY KIND OF WORK FOR EACH OTHER UM MIGUEL OHARA X CLOTTED CREAM COOKIE IM INSANE OMG-

day 10: fursona i already have a fursona I already drew and yes I colorpicked from the lesbian flag how could you tell /j

Day 11: Yandere LYLA is technically canonically a yandere because spoiler alert she tried to kill Miguel’s fiancé via overheating her in the shower (essentially literally boiling her like a lobster) because she was “in love” with him (she said if she did have autonomy and had feelings the would be in love with him but she doesn’t but idk who knows I don’t).

day 12: niche interest ik MCR isn’t exactly “niche” but the black parades story in particular has always caught my interest and I have my own interpretation of it and a whole kind of story I’m still developing and character arcs and headcanons and interactions and yeah you get it, death in particular has evolved into god knows an OC on his own I just keep him attached to MCR because… it makes more sense that way, ig-

day 13: creepypasta does this count- whatever grimdark is just the same thing as a creepypasta- I’m not really in the MLP fandom anymore but it was my first ever “fandom” I was actually apart of. My first hyperfixation if you will. I wasn’t in the grimdark part of the fandom because I was too young for it but I was actually watching the izzzyzzz grimdark video and I was like “oh” and drew a rainbow factory Rainbowdash. Honestly I should draw ponies more they’re fun to draw

Day 14: candygore (?) im not good at drawing candygore and since I was rushing this o didn’t do it as well as I thought I can, but it still turned out pretty cool

Day 15: song lyrics aaaa inevitable hesitant alien drawing this one turned out so cute!! The colors and the sparkle eek so cute aaa action cat lyrics I’m breaking down right in front of you I’m sorry

planning on doing the rest of the month now, maybe not exactly on time since I’m still in school but I’ll try to get 31 drawings out by Halloween. Love the idea of cringetober because I just love all things cringe. Ack this is so good

[vilevileposting]

I am reading Homestuck for the first time (Week 4)

As we approach the thousand page mark, I think I have the picture of why homestuck was able to blow out the walls of its niche sensibilities into mainstream appeal. I assume I'd get this answer when the trolls showed up, but no, the answer is that Homestuck is actually good! Going into this, I can't honestly say I expected it to be good. This whole thing was supposed to be a bit, where I power through Homestuck in a year (with the babes) and then cosplay a troll at Dashcon 2. This leads me to reflect on what a bit really is, because when I imagine something done as a bit, I imagine the bit acting as its own motive. You do the bit for the bit. Can you do as a bit something you have more than that one reason for doing? Is this still a bit? It's still funny to get into homestuck in 2024, I think, but can I rightfully still call it a bit when I eagerly await every book club? Much to think about.

These are my notes for week 4:

759: Floored as I am, I’m glad Nanna is a willing agent in all this. That said, the amount of people running around who seem to Know Something is making my neurons fire.

760: The freaking pumpking?

766: This one goes out to all the trans girls named Jade Harley (and the trans guys named Dave Strider whom I forgot to shout out last time)

789: What is Jade’s fursona, why won’t it tell me

790: Jade’s connection to everything is clearly important but it seems like it might be a while before I’m told why. Here’s someone who sees the future, or at least intuits it, who’s the grandaughter of someone with a whole lot of sburbish technology. I feel like I’m missing the same piece to both puzzles.

793: Y-yeah I noticed before this panel!!

797: I’m gonna kill the guy who put this command in. HOWEVER now we know Jade’s sona is a wolf. (Mine is a dragon, and the other bookclubbers are a possum and tiger)

801: VOLCANO!!! MOUNTAIN HERMIT!!!!!!!!!

802: Cowardice.

822: It was pointed out to me that the crossing out of “but not many” in the act 2 flash implies that that sburb meteor hit a long-ass time ago, and this confirms it! Very wacky. I might think they’re not really sburb meteors if not for the established time shenanigans. This seems to imply there’s more than one potential trigger for a meteor.

826: Jade has WAY more friends than her friends do.

829: Permanently unlocked coquettish as a word for Corah to throw at twinks. Need to find a word to pair it with, like how I use “svelte motherfucker” or “coiffed bitch.” Also I like the grand tradition of internet icons from this era casually using slurs. Look up the first appearance of Megalovania RIGHT NOW

835: How could I forget goofy modus foreshadowing………

836: Dave’s brother is so badass he beat up his armed little brother while piloting a puppet. I think in terms of power scaling this could put him above John’s dad.

839: How did I not notice that Rose’s mom opened that secret passage while Rose was in the back fighting a burning tree? Your poking holes in my they-actually-love-each-other theory, Rose’s mom.

844: Chess piece sword that looks SICK

845: During the book club last week, one of us speculated that the lesser items will be removed from the jetpack to make it functional. The thought of doing that – albeit to the code of the object and not the object itself – is vindicated here!

859: CG has GOTTA be one of those wandering vagrant guys.

*Book club note: Someone mentioned the TROLLSLUM, and I only just made the connection that CG is grey. Reading this 5,000 years in the future as I am, that stands out to me………

874: Looks like my house is okay for now….. But damn they GOT Montreal’s ass

893: John’s Dad name reveal???

896: Andrew Hussie predicted Death Stranding.

911: Aint no way this is a shot of John’s Dad’s room.

918: He’s DEAD!?

948: I was right!!!!!!

962: Carapace confirmed! More wondering what the Wandering Vagrant is. I wonder if someone tried to appearify a shadow demon from the past and a machine made him from the goo, mutant kitten style.

[rainbowmancer-gwen]

Story time:- Shitting the bed (Disrespectful house guests) CONTAINS NSFW moments

I need to start using my tumblr more... My threapist said I should journal more and tell my life stories because a lot of them are just as absured as this... Okay so this is not an am I the asshole stories because I know I am not. I wrote this last night night whilst stoned. I also wanted to test a new clicky RGB keyboard that my Friend Kendra bought me (She was at this party too and can verify it's a true story...) Here goes

Okay, so... close to a decade ago, now I held a party after the Armageddon expo (Anime and Geek convention in New Zealand) one year.

The lead up was that I was working on an assignment for Uni that needed to be in before Sunday. Sunday was Armageddon, and I was hosting an after-party for cosplayers and furries at my parents' house.

It was a sleepover, and I had worked extra shifts to afford a boat load of Kai to feed everyone. My folks were away in the UK. They knew about the party and they knew about my rule.

If you stay cooked, breakfast is at 10 am because you can sleep in. After that I will give you a job cleaning the house. This had worked previously to great effect.

My folks' house can comfortably sleep 12 (in beds) + more on couches.

The whole of the local furry community was invited, and my best friends at the time had helped me plan.

I get my assignment done at 3am after much tinkering and fuckwittery with word counts as Uni had fucked up the brief and there was ambiguity about word count. Fuck it! It's 3am, it is done. I need to sleep and get ready to let off steam.

Arrive at Armageddon, meet friends, and help friend Cosplay as Totoro in a big fursuit. Meet more furries, including draw fest artists. Fuck it! Invite them. This party is going to be the ultimate nerd fest.

And that's when I meet AL... AL is a dragon furry, who is so up himself his fursona has two dicks... I didn't know this at the time. AL asks if he can come. I had only met him once previously but had interacted well enough online and he seemed cool.... Say fuck it! Come along.

Start getting messages out of the blue from a Trans friend, B, who had just gotten back into the country after a messy break up. Say Fuck it! She can come too. It'll do her some good!

Fast forward to the party. Everything is going swell. I am the perfect host. I'm nervous because my parents' house is full of people I have had next to no sleep and a full day of convention. I'm knackered, my best mate. Let's call him Phoenix. He has packed me a joint. Instantly feel better.

Start to notice something is off...

Notice AL and B are making out like it's an Olympic sport. They are all over each other, and it's squicking out my guests...

Ask them politely. Hey guys... It's not that kinda party. We got people playing fucking Yu-Gi-Oh! And drawing furries and you're... You're doing that...

It gets later, and people start to trickle out. The stayers are watching anime on a projector in the living room that Totoro friend, had brought over.

I'm like, sweet. This is my time for another joint, and I'll set up beds. I walk into the kitchen, and what do I see? B An 8 foot transwoman in heels sucking off AL...

I am beyond mortified and beyond words... AL smug face says something to me, which I forget.

Anyway I tell them that it's not appropriate quietly and again not that kinda party. No other party guests saw that, thankfully... Read the room seriously!

Move on to allocating beds. Okay, so let's put them separately...

B pipes up. "Um... I will have anxiety if I don't sleep away from other people who I don't know" sounds fake as fuck.

Okay, you can have the room my GRANDMOTHER sleeps in when she visits... and my room is ABOVE YOU... 

Everyone hears this... Everyone goes to bed. I go upstairs when they do. Spend a little more time with core friends. Break down and tell them what happened... and how mortified I am.

They ask me why you did not tell us? Because I didn't want to ruin the party...

Go sleep. Hear fucking. PISSBOILED! I am so angry! Angry cry self to sleep listening to Weezer. "I am the greatest man that ever lived" (I was masc at the time...) more on that story later...

Skip ahead to the morning. I am up first as I had not slept, nor had they. (The headphones did not hide the fucking...!)

Here I am, angry breakfast! Thankfully, due to many doors between guests and them (except for me... I AM THE ONE WHO HEARD EVERYTHING!)

It was awful... Thankfully, everyone helped clean and was grateful for breakfast. EXCEPT FOR THEM!

THEY DIDN'T GET OUT OF BED UNTIL MIDDAY!

I had shit I needed to do! Everyone did! Everyone knew this. It was on the invites! I purposefully sent the invites. Because in the digital age, respect the party rules!

And I made it very clear 3 TIMES!

☆♤♧◇♧♤♡☆

NOT

THAT

KIND

OF

PARTY!!!

☆♤♧◇♧♤♡☆

They have the AUDACITY! the AUDACITY! to ask where's BREAKFAST!

After a brief explanation... AL, to his credit, helps a little with the last of the cleaning....

B does a sneaky exit but gets caught at the door by me. She says , sheepish and fake sad sounding "Bye...." *Sad eyes look away* ME ME me me me kinda look.

Leaves... Whatever screw her! She's out of my life now...

Meanwhile, other guests start to ship out and thank me for my hospitality and grace, humility and kind hosting, and network skills, etc...

AL and core BFFs last to leave (Phoenix, and Rei) after knowing what has happened asked me if  I wanted to stay with them. Say yes please. AL hears this (he's still not left yet) and says he'll travel with us...

Que? No, me gusta!

Does not get hint. Walk to.bus stop is silent.

Get to bus. AL invites himself by stating “Am I coming to [PHOENIX and REI'S HOUSE] with you?”

Rei who has had it at this point states “I don’t know… Are you?” and glares at him.

Finally getting the hint AL gets off the bus.

Watch him leave… Continue Bus journal. All of us are gobsmacked… GAGGING!!!

Continue to my friend's house. Phone blows up. Messages from B saying how much of a shit host I was and how unwelcome she was made to feel… CALL OUT HER BULLSHIT! Phoenix is cheering me up by making me laugh about the whole thing calling it the "Kitchen BJ saga" Rei is pouring me a hair of thedog bloody mary and a cup of tea

Come home a day later. Shit stains on the bed….  I AM FUCKING LIVID THEY LITERALLY SHIT THE BED!!

End up charging both of them for the price of entirely new bed sheets… AL reluctantly pays as he has rich parents, find out later that he payed for B too.

Never hear for B again, except randomly bumping into her in the hospital (I am an RN) No words were spoken but I honestly hope she is well… AL occasionally pops up in online circles, Never let him live it down. Trues to laugh about it because “LOL It’s been close to a decade” NO! YOU SHIT THE BED! I’m never letting you or anybody else forget it!

If you read this far you are a saint. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest

Peace and love tumblr!

MAY YOU NEVER SHIT THE BED!

Gwen

[alfiely-art]

FINISHED ACT 3!!! Technically finished last night but I'm scheduling this for the morning

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Notes I wrote while reading:

“I hope your father keeps you well fed” OH THATS WHY THERE WAS ALL THOSE BAKED GOODS OHHHH

Anyway. How thr fuck did Nanna know this. Did she hoo hoo in life as she does in death

OMG JADE

Is that an onion on ur shirt farmstink

Squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants

OMG SHE DID IT I LOVE U JADE

Huh. Her room is. Just her friends interests. And their parents interests. Other than the furry I know that's all her. I know

Guns!!! Yayaya!!!!!! Doesn't Jake like guns too

Oh girl. Yoare so otherkin

She's really otherkin my goodness

PROBLEM SL- oh. Sooth

HEY THAT CUE BALL IS PART OF DOC SCRATCH AINT IT. THATS THE THING. THE TH HAL EQUIUS GAMZEE CALIBORN STUFF.

I do wonder what the magic 8 ball is for. If Jade has a bad feeling about it

Slur count: 4

Huh. Okay she has like… VR??

Slur count: 5 but I think Dave can reclaim this one

DAVE FURSONA YOOOO

What are you talking about tho

Omg they're fucking killing the felts…

Dave oh my god you're losing so bad. But yay bro!!! Yay cal!!! I'm so sorry Dave

john you're getting your ass whooped

Oh hello… Is ur name Sentry. Are you buddies with Vagabond

Oh. He's got mummies in his house

What is that thing

Who thr fuck is this. Who is CG

I'm assuming a troll ??? But whomst…

Slur count: 6

THE CAT

oooo what're you up to sentry…

IM GONNA PISS MYSELF I FELT SO BAD FOR DAVE AND THEN THE. I WARNED YOU BRO!!!!

HOLY SHIT JOHN IS GOING CRAZY

Aww yay he's having fun I think

Woah that place sure is purple!!!!

FUCK YEAH GET THEM DAD

???? Who is this clown watching them

Oh your name Isn't sentry. Hi peregrine medication!!!

Autocorrect that's not their name

PM I love you. I love mail

Yo wait PM you know Jade??? What

WHAT THE

IT EXPLODED

Omg rose horse… I know there's a animation of her with the horses. Like the arquiussprite one.

The fuck is in the teapot

AWWWWWWW THATS SO CUTE

Is that a picture of Jade in godtier. They Know….

HELP she napping

Oh. he's dead. Girl…

PM IS ALIVE!!!!!

Awwww baby rose….

Meow

Da fuck

Dad is… boring…? Lies

Jack's fourth wall : ( it was stolen…

IS THIS BETTY CROCKER!!!!

Put the hat on Jack. Put it on

Womp womp

FRUIT GUSHERS YAAAAAA

Awwww he looks so cute in the suit

THE HEINOUS BATTERWITCH

Boy you're so extra

BAHAHAHAH HE JIST WANTED TO DETCH THE BULLET… WHY ARE YOU DANCING W YOUR DEAD GUY…

Oop she napping

OH MY GOD SOMEONE GET ROSE OUT OF THERE

ROBOT?!?!?!?!

Dreambot…

So wait did she already Godtier…

Her room is lesbjan colors I think

Slur count: 7

Twelve… there's twelve Trolls I'm pretty sure

Gamzee Equius Nepeta Karkat Vriska Aradia. Uhh. Tavros. Eridan. Sollux. Uhh… the fish girl… uhhh….

Hi Vodka Mutini

How does John feel about Dave's bro kicking his ass btw. Very casual way of saying it

Oh John : (

VAGABOND IS BACK FUCK YEAH

Gasp… the blue box…

REALSTIC GUN!!! Hi renagade… like the dance

So John's the guy who likes clowns… not his dad…

His dad is so sweet though. he just wants to take care of his son. What has john repressed

OH PROSPIT IVE HEARD THAT!!!

This place sure is yellow

Omg WV has company :3

WV AND PM SHALL MEET!!!!

Take the shot /ref

JOHN!!!! He is also yellow !!!!

Ohhhh he's looking swaggy… Teal is a good color for him

Slur count: 8

WRINKLEFUCKER

NOOOOO DAVE… LIL CAL… THE KATANA… POOR BABY….

Giving him a forehead smooch

OH MY GODD THE JADE SILHOUETTE…

I like this like. “Fuck you timeline let's jump around” type of way thr story is being

Poor Cal….

GA… who are you

“Spread your wings” LIKE WHEN HE BECOMES A BIRD

Hi Dave I love you. I have no idea who you flirted with but you did such a good job you're such a good troll

YAYAY RENAGADE

Yo that box has Jade's dead relative on there…

PM is a girl?? the more u know

BAHAH AR'S A JUDGE… they're making a whole town… mayor, mail carrier, and judge…

INCONCEIVABLE

Butterfly : D

BABY JADE!!!

WHOP

HEY WAIT JACK DONT KILL HIM!!! I LOVE JOHN'S DAD!!!!

Oh my god I love them

That was a cool animation!!!! I have no idea what was going on. But hey I know that song…. Sburbian Jungle…

That sure is a fucked up planet WHAT HOW IS THAT THE END OF ACT 3

Okay so. Does this mean I'm. Halfway done with homestuck. This feels so short. Are the other acts longer

[solradguy]

Might be an odd question, and I'm sorry if it's already been asked, but how did you come up with your fursona?

Not odd at all!! But it's a long story hahah I gotta start from the very absolute beginning. Minor warning for a mention of animal death.

So the first one was an orange and white cat with an olive green trench coat, glowing neon green eyes, a red bandanna (pirate-style, not ninja-style), and they had 7 stripes on their tail. They happened sort of on accident because I was actually 12 years old and couldn't draw humans in a way I was satisfied with and just drew people with cat heads instead. Idk where I got that idea from, probably Thundercats or Swat Katz or something lol. Eventually this character evolved from being based on my actual cat, Toby, to being a character I used to represent myself, 7oby. This fursona is what I refer to as 7oby v.1. They had a sword too, Excalon, that made a blade of frozen ice that was powered by the radiation that my fursona absorbed. I wanted to write a comic with them at once point and had a whole setting and cast fleshed out but this was right around when I entered a very dark period and self-criticism kept it from ever happening.

Unfortunately, Toby, the cat 7oby v.1 was based on, passed away in early 2013. I was really close to this cat, we'd been through a lot together. Around this time I was kind of falling out with the idea of having a fursona too and Toby's death made drawing 7oby v.1 feel... depressing. I tried mixing up their design a little around this time and decided it would be best to just retire them entirely.

This led to 7oby v.2, which was an android with a powerplug tail and 4 motorcycle exhaust pipes on his head lol. I was going through a lot of identity changes around this time (2013-2014) and had a falling out with a friend where they called me a robot and I got a little spiteful about it. I still kind of like 7oby v.2's design but he was a pain in the ass to draw. He didn't last long.

In 2015 I started missing having an actual fursona. I'd gotten a little back into the fandom and having a fuzzy guy I could draw hanging out with my friends' fuzzy guys is a lot of fun. But I needed to design a fuzzy guy again. I didn't know what species to go with and I didn't want to go with a house cat again so I asked my biologist friend for ideas and he suggested a spotted hyena. This was around the time I started realizing I was probably trans so I thought female hyena biology was especially humorous. 7oby v.3 was to be a hyena.

7oby v.3 has gone through a lot of changes haha

7oby v.3 from 2015 through 2017 was just a normal spotted hyena.

From 2018 on he had a robotic endoskeleton like a Terminator and could also make super heated holographic claws and stuff.

In early 2019 I got REALLY into Legend of Zelda and Ganondorf and was like "7oby v.3 is going to be a hyena/boar hybrid now." He still had the Terminator skeleton and laser hands but now he had tusks too. I think this was around the time I gave him lightning/fire magic and decided to combine him with my art mascot, the Somnivagrant, too. Somni's a genderless, amorphous, eyeless, dream demon. It kind of looks like a white dog/wolf and has a sun orb between its ears. The Somnivagrant hitches a ride on my fursona (like a ghost) for fun.

2021 7oby v.3 (the last redesign I've done) is pretty much the same as 2019 but I cleaned up his general anatomy a little and brought back 7oby v.1's Excalon as a giant laser gunsword. Of course.

I think v.3 has gone through more changes than the other two because I've also changed an incredible amount between 2015 to now, but I think, too, that on some level I just don't entirely vibe with v.3. Like v.1 was absolutely me, v.2 was honestly just a stepping stone, and v.3's just kinda... I dunno. I think it might be time for v.4.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Third Research Scientist of Love Lab

Debut: Rhythm Heaven (DS)

Another post about a Rhythm Heaven character! There are so many Wacky Rhythm Heaven characters we can talk about. But it’s not every day we get to talk about Rhythm Heaven. It’s loosely attached to Mario, through WarioWare, but it’s just enough of its own thing that it is out of our field of view. This is not Super Mario’s Super Mario World. Getting to talk about Rhythm Heaven is a major event. We must savor the Funky Fridays we get to spend our elusive Rhythm Heaven points.

We’re using this Friday to talk about some dude in a squirrel suit.

He appears in Rhythm Heaven in the minigame Love Lab, which is actually one of my favorite games in the series! That’s right! I managed to get invested in a guy and a girl falling in love, something unexpected from my usual lesbian self. I can’t help it! I just love scientists. “Weird scientist” was like, my whole online persona way back in the day. (And besides, these two are both obviously bi. Look at them.)

Anyway that’s enough time talking about those two, they’re both regular humans and while I respect them and their relationship, they aren’t nearly as interesting as the third guy who is also there.

What, you didn’t notice him? Well, it makes sense, I suppose. (iiiiiii suppose, yeah!) He’s just off-screen, catching the flasks You’re throwing. They realized it would be dangerous if you were throwing around chemicals and no one was catching them, as if throwing around chemicals isn’t dangerous in its own right, so they added this guy, and since he’s barely visible, why not make him Wacky? You’ll be so busy paying attention to the cute scientists and good tunes that you won’t even notice him.

The guy’s fully-sprited, but is tough to notice in-game considering how off-screen he is. He is so dang off-screen. Fortunately, you can get a better look at him if you get the Try Again screen!

Yeah! Good job sucking at Love Lab! Your reward is Squirrel Man face reveal!

Or if you don’t want to ruin their relationship, you can just wait for the end credits where he also pops in during the cast call.

Hello!

We know very little about Squirrel Man, but I think that’s kind of the point. They hid the guy off-screen, he doesn’t have much lore, I think his entire purpose is just to exist and be weird, which I think is delightful. I like the philosophy of whoever decided this minigame about scientists falling in love needed some guy who always wears a squirrel suit.

At least, that’s assuming this is a squirrel. Could be a chipmunk. (though scientifically speaking, chipmunks are a type of squirrel)

The main reason I say squirrel is because “Science Squirrel” is apparently a common trope in Japanese media? At least according to Mod Chikako, I know Risukuma from Puyo Puyo and Himari from Precure as a couple examples. And Sandy Cheeks from SpongeBob, though that’s probably a coincidence, given that all the other examples have Japanese origins. If we’re to go with this, then that gives a little more explanation to this guy, but not too much. I think there’s still plenty of room to theorize what the heck this guy’s deal is.

And that is EXACTLY what I’m here to do! It’s half the reason I’m writing this post in the first place! Below the cut, is various theories about what this dude’s deal is.

1. He’s a furry, that’s his fursona.

Let’s get the obvious (and boring) one out of the way first, which is that this guy is a furry, that’s his fursona, and he always wears a fursuit for some reason. I mean, it makes some amount of sense, if we assume he’s that dedicated to the whole furry thing, then sure, why not wear his fursuit to the laboratory? The thing is, this theory is just such low-hanging fruit. It’s too obvious. Look at the guy. The explanation I think obviously has to be something weirder.

2. Genetically engineered Squirrel Man

This is probably the most obvious “more interesting” direction, and it’s not like it doesn’t make sense. The whole minigame is set in a laboratory, and if we take into account the characters’ blatant lack of lab safety, this isn’t your ordinary laboratory... Who’s to say there isn’t a bunch of weird science going on behind the scenes? I mean, one day they’re trying to figure out what love is, the next day they’re building a squirrel guy. Just your average laboratory shenanigans.

While it is stated in-game in the Lab Journal that he wears a suit, this is purely from the perspective of the green-haired girl, who is said to be new to the lab. Maybe she just thinks he’s wearing a squirrel suit. Maybe she doesn’t know the full truth.

Of course, I don’t think he HAS to be a squirrel man to be interesting...

3. Back on that comment about lab safety,

Full-body protection. While these other two are throwing around flasks full of chemicals without even wearing GOGGLES, this guy is making sure to protect every last inch of his body by wearing a squirrel suit. And maybe he’s wearing goggles under the suit, just for good measure!

Maybe this whole experiment wasn’t even about love, maybe it was about lab safety. Maybe this guy noticed how much his lab partners were smitten with one another, and were too distracted to pay attention to things like wearing proper gear in the lab. He theorized that their relationship had something to do with their total disregard for safety and he was right.

4. School mascot gone rogue

His uncanny full-body uniform is weird for a scientist, but perfectly normal for a school mascot. Maybe he was originally cheering on the university sports team, but eventually got tired of sports and decided to pursue a life of high science instead. Why doesn’t he take the suit off? Tough to say. Might loop back around to the lab safety thing.

Alternatively, in the Rhythm Heaven universe, maybe schools just have mascots for their labs alongside their sports. You know! To... help keep the science fair going?

5. He’s the one dude’s ex

The idea is that he’s simply the first scientist’s ex, they broke up on good terms, and so he still gets to stick around in the Love Lab. Does this do anything to explain why he’s wearing the squirrel suit? No, not really. Maybe the first guy just fell in love with the school mascot (see theory 4) and the squirrel guy just wanted to take interest in his boyfriend’s passions and so he signed up for a job at the Love Lab. And eventually they broke up but he decided to stay around the lab because now he was invested in learning about love. Something like that.

6. He’s lonely

Do you realize how tough it is to stand out in this world? And in a lab where everyone’s researching love all the time, how heartbreaking it can feel when you see everyone around you falling in love while you remain alone? He wanted to make sure everyone would notice him, so bam! Squirrel suit!

But that isn’t to say it was effective. If we go back to the Lab Journal, it took the green-haired girl three days to notice him at all, and he spends the entire minigame off-screen! Not even the CAMERA felt like keeping him in focus. Maybe if you see the squirrel guy at the Love Lab any time soon, you should give him a hug. Maybe he deserves it.

7. He Just Looks Like That

Some people just look like squirrels. It’s rude to stare.

Maybe none of these theories are true, maybe multiple of them are. We don’t know. We’ve never gotten much lore for this guy, but I’m kind of glad about that. This sort of intrigue breeds curiosity, and honestly the more wacky theories that can be proposed surrounding this guy’s existence, the better! It’s part of the reason I fall so in love with minor and obscure characters. You’re given just enough information to get an idea of what the character is, but are given a lot of room to let the creative juices flowing. That’s why I think Third Research Scientist of Love Lab is one of my favorite Rhythm Heaven characters. Congratulations!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

So I rewatched Raya.

And I was really trying to watch it without a skeptical lens. I wanted to be able to act like the oblivious kids in that theater and just enjoy the movie. But I just couldn't. I've mentioned it before it's a gorgeous movie but there are so many things wrong with it that just bug me. And I’ve mentioned before the changes that could be made to fix it and the main one being just completely scrapping the movie and starting from scratch with a tv show. And because I’m on spring break and I have nothing to do (also I’m a perfectionist and I tend to hyper-fixate on things that I know have easy solutions) I broke down how I would make it better in two different categories. The first one being kind of baseline stuff like animation and character designs and other stuff I had small problems with and the second being plot.

Section One:

Okay so I know we all hate Sisu’s design. As someone who grew up with Naga carvings and paintings all around my house seeing this Elsa fursona was like a slap to the face. Like I know I really shouldn’t expect more from Disney but I did. I mentioned in this post that I would have loved to see a longer series even if it meant the animation quality went down. And I feel like Neeith_ on TikTok did a great job of drawing what Sisu could have looked like which only disappointed me more. Caldatelier on Twitter also pointed out the many flaws with Raya’s outfit design which fully proved to me that Disney did little to no research and chose style points over historical accuracy. I also felt like the designs of the main characters were very unremarkable and before you’re like “that the whole point it’s supposed to be normal people saving the world” I don't mean that I mean it feels like they took previous designs and just made them Asian. Like my sister and I were talking about it and she said the baby just reminded her of the boss baby and Tong reminded her of one of the twins from rapunzel with a little more depth. This is also kind of a small thing but it kind of bugged me that they were all the same skin tone if not lighter. SEA is incredibly diverse and if they weren’t going to represent all of the cultures in full then they could at least shown their features. I feel like the food should have been more important. I know I mentioned it in my last post but food is an incredibly important part of our culture. It’s not a placeholder or a set-piece to make a scene look more aesthetically pleasing. It’s a way for us to bond and show each other we care it’s a way we show genuine love and appreciation. And when you have a main character who is emotionally stunted it felt like food was a perfect way for her to show her love and they blew it. Like can you imagine Raya and her dad getting into huge fights and then bringing each other food as an apology sitting in front of that window not needing to say a word because they simply get each other? Can you imagine Raya visiting Namaari and stocking up on foods that she knows Namaari loves but also hasn’t been able to eat for a while? We could have had genuinely heartwarming scenes centered around food but instead, we got set pieces and props. And one more thing that stuck with me was the voice acting this movie should have been a change for SEA voice actors to really put their names out there and be a part of a really big Disney project but as always out voiced were overshadowed by someone lighter.

Section Two:

(I’m going to warn you this is gonna be really long because I’m essentially rewriting the entire plot because as I said before I’m a perfectionist)

I feel like the first ep should be dedicated to the backstory and the lore

How were the Druuns made how where they defeated

I feel like it would have been interesting to see them fighting over the gem

But I think it would have been really interesting to see from the get-go how Sisu wasn’t the one who made the gem

So instead of having this big reveal alongside Raya, we would know that her hope of finding this all powerful Naga is hopeless because the story was a lie

Another thing I think another person who should have had more screentime was Raya’s dad

I think it would have been interesting to know his backstory and get some questions answered like “why does he have so much faith in the other rulers to help him on his journey to make Kumandra a thing?” “When did he become the protector of the gem?” “And how many attempts of stealing the gem has he thwarted”

Also as much as I love him I feel like his personality incredibly unrealistic because all SEA men I’ve met have been really emotionally stunted

Idk it’s just a small thing that made me go “eh he talks to his daughter. What kind of magic world is this?”

I would have liked to see Raya’s various attempts at becoming a protector of the gem

I think it would have been a really good way to show how resilient she is from a very young age

And when she finally succeeds the audience could have celebrated with her like a small “yes she finally got it and all her hard work finally paid off” moment

I feel like we should have gotten more Raya and Namaari moments right from the start

Like how they meet is basically the same but Raya doesn’t trust her with the gem’s location an hour after meeting her

It's a trust that both of them fought for in their own way

Like you get to see them bond over their mutual understanding of “well the worlds fucked”

So when Namaari finally stabs Raya in the back when she betrays her for the first time it hurts when she says the throwaway line about them being friends in another world in burns Raya

Because she thought they were friends and she genuinely trusted Namaari

Which would have really justified her distrust in the world

And again I feel like we should have seen that 6 year period of Raya trying to find Sisu

We would get to experience the frustration of building up the hope of finally finding her just to have it knocked down when she’s not there

It could also do two more things

Raya making genuine connections with people

And Raya and Namaari’s strange alliance forming

Now for the first one, I feel like it would have been really cool for Raya to be introduced to the different lands

And yeah sure I feel like it would make her feel like kind of a tourist but I feel like it would be really interesting to see her go through culture shock

Because she really thought she knew these places but boom they’re completely different from what she was told

And while she’s making her way around she learns about the different lands and the people inhabiting them and also their culture

We could have seen Raya make genuine connections outside of the main cast

And if you’re feeling a little masochistic we could see her lose those people because of the druune or simply because they died

But the main point is we would be able to see her become less and less selfish

Now back to Raya and Namaari’s alliance/romance later on

I mentioned in my other post that when Raya trusted Namaari to put the gem back together it felt very flat very fake

So I feel like it would be cool for the series to be split into two parts the first part being from Raya’s perspective and the second part being Namaari’s

I also feel like Namaari would have to be a constant in Raya’s journey

And what I mean by that is like she’s there every other episode either trying to stop Raya or she’s trying to save her from life or death situations

And later on down the line, we find out the main reason why she kept helping Raya (in her own way) was that she didn’t want to see her get seriously hurt

But anyway that’s mostly backstory and now we’re in the present tense

And like I said before we know that Sisu wasn’t the one who made the gem so we know that Raya’s quest is pointless

But because we’ve seen her various attempts at becoming the protector of the gem and the six years of looking for Sisu we know she’s too stubborn to give up just yet

So she and Sisu head out to find the other gem pieces

Now with context, her and Namaari’s standoff has more tension because for the first time in years Namaari doesn’t know the motives behind Raya’s actions

I don’t really have many ideas for Sisu other than she starts to trust people less and less

Like she’s still really innocent for the most part but there’s a small part of her a really small part that’s kind of lost faith in humanity

And after this, we meet Boun

I feel like we should have known more about Boun considering the fact he’s the first side characters we met

But it’s very clear they gave no thought to his character I’m sure they just wrote down “funny kid who lost his family”

This is such a shame because he could have been so much more than just “Raya’s funny younger brother”

Like he could have been this selfless kid who hands out food to the orphans around and offering his ship to homeless people during the night

Next with the baby and the monkeys, there’s really not much you can do with them unless you seriously age them up

Like at the very least have Noi be a grade-schooler who can express more emotions than mad and hungry

Like she can still be the baby of the group while taking care of herself and expressing her emotions a great example of this is Polly from amphibia (which is a great show with a SEA main character you should check it out)

With Tong, I have two words: Survivors Guilt which is something Raya would be able to relate to in fact they all would

I feel like Tong’s entire character arc would be him realizing that he can’t save everyone

Which yeah sure would seem pretty contradictory with the ending being them literally saving everybody but I have a fix for that too

And finally, we get to Namaari who is selfless to a fault

Giving me very much typical Disney princess she gives up food to kids who seem particularly hungry

She’s usually the one who tells the stories to the kids but her mom was taking over that day

She helps her people in any way she can and honestly, she’s wearing herself a little thin

Because while she’s doing all that she’s also saving Raya & co from their own mistakes

Giving me very much burning the candle at both ends

So you see all these characters bonding over the course of at least a year

Making and losing more allies along the way

And because Namaari has been helping them they trust her… for the most part

But there have been times when she trips them up and makes their end goal all the more difficult

And because they haven’t known her as long as Raya has each character has at least one moment when they look up at the sky and scream in frustration “What is this binturi’s deal!”

But anyway they finally get to fang and Raya is more open to the idea of just talking to Namaari because she trusts her not because Sisu told her to but because she’s seen Namaari do good

And Namaari is even more reluctant to take the gem pieces by force because she has a decent relationship with Raya like yeah sure they’re not best friends but they’re in a good place

And shocker shocker she’s maybe just maybe head over heels in love with the princess of heart

But her mother gives her an ultimatum and that is “either you take it from her or I will”

Because here’s the thing, Queen Virana isn't a moron the exact opposite in fact and she knows her daughter has been going easy on Raya these past six years

She also knows that she could squash Raya under her shoe if she damn well pleased and Namaari knows this too

So when Namaari gets her necklace back she doesn’t even hesitate to take her crossbow when she leaves

The meet up goes basically the same except its more Raya talking Namaari down than Sisu

And while they’re having their little heart to heart Sisu notices Namaari’s finger twitch and she goes to jump in front of Raya

And Namaari was shaken by the sudden movement and fires and kills Sisu

I feel like this would make Raya furious for two reasons one she killed her best friend and two she deep down trusted Namaari to do the right thing

So when the fight goes down instead of the whole “I don't care if you trust me because Sisu did” it would be “I trusted you and you murdered her”

And when the dust settles Raya realizes that this battle doesn’t matter because fighting Namaari isn’t going to bring Sisu and she’s also sick and tired of hurting the people she loves

And she decides to help people instead not because Sisu would want her to but because its the right thing to do

Which is cliche sure but its better than the scene they gave us which really wasn’t faithful to her character arc of not caring for people who aren't close to her

And I feel like Namaari joining her makes more sense with my context if anything else

And here’s how I would fix this scene even with them fighting the Druune off to the best of their abilities there are still falling buildings and the gem can’t really save people from that

So they lose some people not because of the Druune but because death happens even when the heroes are fighting their hardest

And because I feel like this would just affirm Tong’s character arc because there are people dying under these buildings he knows it’ll take too long to save them and its not time they have

So he leaves them behind prioritizing the people he knows he can save

Anyway, after a long battle scene, they finally end up underground

And it goes basically the same except it doesn’t take Raya as long to convince them

And instead of Raya’s reasoning of “Sisu told us to” it's more “all this fighting isn't going to bring Sisu back” and “I know she’s done something terrible and you can be mad at her after this but for now trust her”

So when they all make their sacrifices it’s less “I’m doing this for Raya” and more “I’m doing this because deep down I know you’ll do the right thing”

And Namaari does do the right thing obviously

Sisu comes back and it's all “yay we saved the world!” but it doesn’t really end there

Because I hate the “lifetime” ending of “even though we all went through incredibly traumatic events we’re all fine months later” no they’re running around for months and years fixing their mess

And while this is happening Raya and Namaari is mending their relationship they’ve apologized for all the terrible things they’ve done to each other

And when they’re fixing their world they’re helping each other become the best versions of themselves

That’s when they really fall in love

Like don't get me wrong they loved each other when all the bad shit was going down but there was too much bad blood them to really process it and talk it out

But that’s exactly what they do when it’s all over they talk it out for hours

In fact, they both said its the most they’ve heard the other speak

They both agree they’re in the best place to start a relationship and so they do

[aiwobonappetit]

I love being your wife and caring for + about you all the time 💛 You make my life easier, and I love being with you, Natsuki.

(long sappy ramble under the cut, ok2rb)

so.....Natsuki and I are each other's wives, no surprise there /j

I just. I'm soooooOooooOo in love with this big farmer grandpa and I never get tired of looking at his sexy, adorable face EVER. And I'm so happy that I don't.

tw: mentions of death and me saying weird shit bc i love natsuki

Even when UtaPri makes a weird 40-years-into-the-future spinoff I'm gonna be right next to my husband cus I love him no matter what. Even if he's an old man 🚹 ok? shit, I'm a grandpa too, that means nothing to me.

Natsuki just makes me so happy. His voice echoes in my brain when I need dopamine. His sweet demeanor is TO DIE FOR. No matter what, I know he's a sweet man who loves to love and be loved.

And being told by him time and time again that he loves me is a gift from the asshole of the universe.

He floats off into his own world sometimes but I'm always there to catch him when he's over his head about anything. When my sugar pumpkin is sad, I feel honored to be trusted with his fragile vulnerability and just want to make him laugh and ease the pain. Not forget and act like it's not there–ease it.

When he's sad, I'm sad and we're going to burn in it together. When Natsuki's happy, I'm also happy because I get to see him enjoy life in his own special way.

I try to be there for him and he makes me want to be a better person SO BADLY. I can't let him be with someone who's a shitty asshole. I want to be better for both of us. And oh my god, kill me if I ever hurt him. EVER. I will die. On sight.

And y'know [being into UtaPri just for one character is so lame yuor not a real fan yadda yadda bodyodoyodyodoy] is just smth I'm over 🙄 ummm ok? I still care abt the rest of STARISH bc they're my husband's bestest friends in the whole world.

Sure, I'm not particularly close with any of them except for Cecil and Otoya but I know how much they mean to Natsuki. I might not like canon at all but I would never rob Natsuki of the original joys he had from the source material. His friends, his ambitions, his strive to stand up for himself—I know I coddle him all the time but he's so strong and intelligent on his own.

He's a wonderful man and I can't shove aside what made him that way (not that I want to? Yeah, I'm not besties with STARISH but they're still my friends anyways 💀) (and y'know. Already conquered the G*m*n* S*ndr*m* issue 🙂)

I appreciate the relationship I have with Natsuki and I also deeply adore and appreciate him..His body, his personality, and all his interests and passions, and oh god do I love his flaws. If it's Natsuki, then I love it. If he's drawn as a furry, then DAMN I guess I need a fursona now. It's that bad GREAT

It's intimidating to passerby when I describe how aggressively I love Natsuki and Satsuki but that's only a piece of what I manage to slip out. These two are frolicking in an ocean of my attention and passion for them.

I take great care of Natsuki and make him feel so valued, appreciated, loved and everything on that list. I make him more confident in his ideas and we push each other to grow and EVOLVE. EVOLUTION EVE IN THIS BITCH 😫😫😫

He gives me everything I want, which is mostly giving him what he wants bc I don't have any interests 💀💀💀 but ofc it's in moderation and I know when to dial back. I AM A DRIVING FORCE IN NATSUKI'S LIFE AND YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT FROM ME 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

I'm slow, dumb and an idiot but phew Natsuki makes me shape up immediately. There's so much more I can say, but I will save it for another time. The point is:

I LOVE NATSUKI SHINOMIYA 💛💛💛

(and for those wondering, yes satsuki will get his own big juicy post when I get a burst of tender love for him that I want to share ☺️)

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Alright, so once again, this is the most recent post I could find vague blogging about me on her tumblr in regards to this specific issue so I don’t know where all the “Wow! heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon DID THAT?!” Anons are coming from here, or how those anons are aware that you even tried to submit me something, unless you’re just sending them to yourself to try and stir more trouble but just ....

Leanne, Leanne, Leanna Leanne.... I feel as though I must para-quote Gene Wilder’s character in Young Frankenstein here because just what is the matter with you? Like do you not understand the concept of hyperbole at all? Don’t you know a joke when you read one?

The entire reason I screenshot that ask this way was to show case the fact that color and formatting of the ‘t”,  on what I didn’t know happened to be goth day just happened to match both the obnoxious eye sore color palette and theme of your tacky little blog, Princess. 

The whole coincidence gave me the willies, so I was just making a funny, honey.

Although, apparently, you can’t comprehend my humor or my kindness because now isn’t that part of what got you into this mess in the first place?

“Luna” is for long time mutuals only. Don’t pretend like we’ve ever spoken more than twice, and don’t pretend like you ever gave a damn about my well being when you can’t even get my disability right. My correct name and minority status is written all over my blog.  And to think you’re the one who bitched and complained to me about being called “Honey”.

I only found this on your blog because I have no way of responding to your original Submission even if I wanted to now because Tumblr seems to have eaten it (which, to that I say good riddance) and the only reason I found your Twitter is because it’s exactly the same as your gmail address due to the fact that you’re that basic. There wasn’t anything “random” about it.

“I would never send hate for no fucking reason...” Ah, but by that logic you would dish back hate to someone if you had a reason. So why would you like, concern troll me and chastise me for hate trolling someone when they gave me a reason?!

“And then to say that you that I would hack into your account? WHY??????? Why would I do that? I dont even know HOW to do that! YOU ARE TEARING MY HEART EMOJI APART LUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Again, honey, please calm down and teach yourself how to form a coherent sentence, learn the concept of what a hyperbolic joke is, leave your fandom(s) and get a freaking life.

I thought you were my friend too until the night you pulled that shit with me, respect that I blocked you and frick off.

And for the love of God, stop “joking” about writing smutty fanfics between you and Al and getting “married” to him and delete all of Angel’s pictures from your blog why don’t you!

Your obsession with all of us is beyond unhealthy.

“I know that you have reason to listen or believe me...” Honey, I know that when you were typing this your little crocodile tears were hitting the keyboard so hard that you couldn’t even form a coherent sentence and you need to shut the fuck up. (Also SIDE NOTE of how Cletus and Striker are like, the worst Helluva Boss characters to have “taste” in: Some sleazy little man baby and an ever only slightly cooler and more tolerable Wild West Reincarnation of Toffee, I should have known you were like this. Oh and that Vampire Chick from RE7 everyone including yourself is into right now is like if Eclipsa was a freaking Fairly Odd Parents Pixie and Meteora would have her daughters for a snack, both figuratively and literally. Die Angry About it.)   

I had two whole interactions with you and I wanted to beat that bunny fursona of yours down with a tree branch Lilo and Stitch style the second you hopped into my ask box that night and 4 days later you gave me an excuse to. I only found out about the shit that you were putting my friends through when Orn started vague blogging to me about what you were doing to them after I exposed you as a snake in the grass arse little bitch and they had no reason to try and White Knight you.

In starlatte27’s case she was just tagged to help attack me by the same stalker that you were going out of your way to defend and latte blocked me before I could even so much as figure out who she was, meaning we didn’t even have an “altercation”, her existence to me personally at that point was merely a blip that served to cause me more disorientation and stress, but I knew she was just as much of a bitch as you were before my friends did and now you’re both causing them immeasurable harm in comparison to what I was put through and you both need to delete your blogs after you apologize. NOBODY WANTS YOU TWO IN THIS FANDOM!

I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in reading you reiterate your excuses for your racism and gross mistreatment towards my friends to me, nor do I care for your off putting arse attempting to have some sort of petty, infantilizing, paternalistic, para-social relationship with me!

Angel and Al, may I add, haven’t been online in weeks because of you and starlatte27, and now you’re only trying to get to me because I’ve still been available online and you’ve been bored. And if I had the capability and privilege of doing anything other than sitting, I can tell you that I certainly wouldn’t be in front of a computer right now if I actually even had the option not to be ether.

And for your information, being able to meet Angel and Al, at least out of all this mess in the first place, has been the only good experience that I’ve had within in this fandom thus far and their presence on my dashboard only makes my day brighter, I willingly shared my experiences with them to let know they’re not alone in all this shit.  

Stop being a sleaze to Angel just because he’s more attractive than you and clearly not white passing, and delete all his photos from your blog.

Stop being a skeeve to Al and stop making “jokes” about marrying him and your jokes about smut because that’s actually beyond the conception of “cringe”.

Stop infantalizing me and acting as though you have some weird parental para-social relationship over me or some shit when I’m freaking three years older than you are, apologize to all three of us before deleting your accounts and dropping off the internet why don’t you and then leave all three of us the fuck alone!!! 

I can tell how the little twit whom said this to me the other day has certainly never met you.

[chupitulpa]

It's me again, permaswitch guy.

TW: depression, suicide

The same anon from the last post asked:

Hey, thanks for your reply and for uploading it so fast. I come here to answer your reply and add a little something after.

First of all thank you for your acceptance and kindness, as a tulpamancer but also as a depressed person. Come to think of it it is ridiculous how long we took to reach this point, over 6 times longer than most, but then it’s logic too because of how randomly I forced over time. To lazy or extremely lazy hosts, there is hope. I don’t encourage laziness on anyone of course, but you can still achieve progress if you give it enough time. This may sound counterproductive, but trying so badly can cause a lot of stress and doubts, while giving your brain time to accomodate to a new mindset might be helpful. Ideally hosts should find a balance between forcing and letting the mindset in.

Next let me talk about your proposed alternative solutions. I find it strange that you encourage me to step further into my comfort zone. It’s probably because I haven’t told you anything, but this is already what I’m doing as much as I can and I keep being told this is only making things worse because I have to step out of it to make changes and go anywhere in my life. However in contrast, you think more like me. I’m so much going into my comfort zone that I’m avoiding talking to anyone or leaving home ever. May expand on it later. About groups to fit in: I don’t work well on 1-to-1, leave alone on groups. That’s why I prefer being away of tulpa Discord servers. I always go unnoticed and/or misunderstood. Looking for friends or relationship outside of our system is something I’ve finally given up on, after continuous failures. May expand on it later. Lastly I’ve been to therapists for almost all my life and while this sounds like nonsense, they and medications have never proven to help me personally. I find a simple talk with my tulpa to be much better than years of medication and therapists.

Before I go with the last issue I’d like to say that unlike many would think I have morals too, so yeah, it’s probably a better idea for us to switch than for me to create another tulpa yet for the sake of switching.

Now, I’ve had this issue going on for my entire life and specially since 2020. This is not strictly related to tulpamancy but I think many tulpas will be able to relate to this, unlike most hosts. I, however, am host, and am dealing with this.

Many people like to think of themselves as something else than humans or even feel as if they were also something else. Most notably the furry community, which I’ve been interacting with for years, is full of people who besides humans would like to be a fursona, or even feel more as if they were their fursona than a human. I, however, take this to the next level. I have been both unvoluntarily and voluntarily distancing myself from the concept “human”. It is not something positive to me being one. As such I’ve been suffering of “species dysphoria”, or am trans-species. I bet many many tulpas who have fronted have had this issue if they weren’t made after humans to begin with. However I cannot say the same for hosts. Indeed I’m the only host I know so far who thinks they aren’t human and would rather be some yellow dragon drawn by a furry artist. This issue is easily fixed with a switch. Not saying I’m switching because of this, but it is something nice knowing that I can stop being trapped in a human body and just be myself. Believe me, species dysphoria can get to the same points or even worse than gender dysphoria. Fortunately I never had the latter. So maybe now you understand why I am isolating myself too.

Looking back at my old asks here now I know much more about tulpas than I used to back then. Yeah I’m happy we made progress too, but I wish things would have been different. I wish I could be more consistent and this wouldn’t have took or take nearly as long. Not only for seeing it as a chore, but also because we run out of time to survive. Some pressure to live on. Thanks to my tulpa I’m more hopeful and relaxed, and we’re trying our best to delay another suicide attempt for as long as we can. But we can’t do that forever so ultimately it’ll happen. Thanks to him I also think about it twice since now it’s two of us.

Say, may I ask if you’re religious? What do people tend to think on tulpa afterlife? It’s not a topic you hear much about in the community.

Oh I almost forgot. I want to get rid of this life, the human life, 100%. This means after switch I don’t care what happens on this side. Giving the fronter full permission to do as wanted, as opposed to other cases where the original host wanted to leave but also still cared about their human body’s life, bringing unnecessary worry and ultimately a regret of permanent switch. I think this is something important. I always think of this life as a burden that was put on me, and have been despising it since 2008. As such, I see my parents in the same eyes as you would see a tulpamancer who creates a tulpa solely to have them switch. Totally unacceptable behaviours. Of course, I understand a child can never choose to be born or not, while a tulpa can choose whether to switch or not. But my parents could have refrained from having a son in the first place, specially if they were going to be neglectful parents. This world is one unjust place.

My reply:

Don't worry about how long it took to get there. Some people barely force at all and have a talking tulpa in a day or two. Others work at it for years before hearing a peep. Laziness happens too and definitely contributes. Stress, doubts, laziness and working too hard at it can all produce slower progress. And depression contributes to all of the above as well.

As a depressed and socially awkward person, I have to say I can relate to the urge not to go out or talk to people. The current situation in 2020 has not helped either. Like you, I didn't get a whole lot out of meds or talk therapy. Tulpa stuff does help a great deal, but I keep falling off it and back into the awful depression.

I do think that full isolation isn't healthy. However, as far as I can tell, this doesn't seem to apply as much to tulpas if the host/whoever is fronting interacts with people some. Whether the tulpas are fully active and thinking or just snoozing in the background, they seem to benefit from the interaction the same way the host/fronter does. Or at least that's our experience. I don't know whether it works like that because they're in the background experiencing it to some degree, or if it affects something that's shared between all of us; my tulpas seem to think it's a combination of the two.

If the tulpa you already made is able and willing to try switching, give it a shot. I don't know how many other tulpa systems this applies to, but I think there's a special bond between the original host and their first tulpa: You discovered all the stuff you know about tulpamancy together, encountered and overcame the obstacles together, and discovered a lot about your minds together. If he's unable, doesn't want to, or tries it and decides it's not for him, you could (together!) try making another. But be sure to value them as a person and friend first and foremost, and emphasize that the switching thing is entirely optional.

I actually know more than one person who, for one reason or another, wishes that they would wake up in a world where they're a dragon, pony, canine, etc. The species dysphoria is certainly tied in with depression one way or another though I'm not sure which starts first. I can see why you won't care to interact with humans if you don't identify with or relate to them.

I am not religious. If there is an afterlife though, I would certainly want to be together with my tulpas in it. I haven't seen a lot of discussion on it, particularly since I've really just been involved with Tulpa.info which takes a secular, scientific viewpoint.

I'm curious. What would you like to do after switching? Be basically like a tulpa, doing your own thing in your wonderland and interacting with the new fronter when he has time?

Since you mention suicide, I feel obligated to mention the crisis text line. Text HOME to 741741 (US), 85258 (UK) or 686868 (Canada) to start a chat with an understanding person who can help you through your moment of crisis. I know people who have used it and they had positive experiences. Or there's 1-800-273-8255 (US) if you'd rather talk. Or a list of similar services in more countries than I can count.

[secondhand-trash]

Freddy Freeman(Shazam!)- Next Time

[Requested]

A/N: This had been lying in my drafts for months I’M SO SORRY

Description: It’s your first date, what more can I say?

Wordcount: 1478

Playlist:

Can’t Keep My Hands Off You//Simple Plan

Hey There Delilah//Plain White T’s

“So, you’re still up for tonight right?”

You closed the door of your locker to see the boy leaning against the wall. You sat next to Freddy in class and you two quickly became friends. He was a lovely person and you didn’t hesitate to say yes when he asked you to go see a movie with him.

“Of course,” You grinned, holding your books closely to your chest, “I’ll see you at 6?”

“Cool.” He returned with an equally enthusiastic smile and you swore that you felt your heart beat speeding up.

“Cool.” You watched as he walked away. Turning around, you were face to face with your good friend who clearly overheard the whole exchange, seeing as they had a teasing smile on their face.

“A date to the movies? How sweet.” You pretended to roll your eyes and the two of you started walking to your next class. “Are you nervous?”

“Well, kind of,” You said, “But it’s Freddy, I’m sure it’ll be a good time.”

“I’M SO NERVOUS-”

“It’s going to be fine! Stop walking in circles, you’re starting to make me anxious!” Billy yelled as the shorter boy paced around their room. They still had 15 minutes until Freddy leaves the house but he was still not decided on what to wear. “They already saw you at school today, just wear the same outfit!”

“That’ll just make it seems like I don’t care, won’t it?”

“But you also said that you don’t want to make them think that you care too much.” Billy sighed. He really didn’t understand why Freddy was making such a big deal. The person already agreed to go on a date with him, obviously they already liked him to a certain degree. Why was Freddy still so hell-bent to impress them? Even so, changing between jackets really didn’t seem like the way to go, at least in Billy’s humble opinion. “Just wear that one nicer coat and get rid of your beanie, you’ll look great!”

Freddy held the mentioned garment in his head and slightly furrowed his brows, “Why am I asking you about this? You’re probably as clueless as I am.”

“Why didn’t you question that 20 minutes ago when you were rambling about-”

“MARY????”

You stared at your phone, taking occasional glances at the people passing by. Perhaps you lied when you said that you were not nervous, given the fact that you arrived at the cinema way too early in fear of being late. You could feel the sweat on your palms and quickly wiped it on your shirt. You wished that you still have the ease you had that morning as you watched the number on your screen changes.

“I am so sorry to keep you waiting!” you looked up from your phone to see Freddy walking towards you. He was wearing a blazer and this might be the most formally dressed you had ever seen him, despite recognizing the superman t-shirt underneath. To be fair, it wasn’t true Freddy fashion if there wasn’t anything superhero related. “I’m not late, am I?”

“Nah, you’re on time. I’m just early.” You chuckled as you see how dramatically his expressions changed, “We still have around 15 minutes before the movie starts, should we get popcorn?”

“Duh, what’s the point of going to a cinema if you aren’t getting popcorn.” Freddie said matter-of-factly and you hummed in agreement.

You two walked into the building and go straight to the kiosk. “Uhh... We’ll have one large popcorn and two soda. Coke? Coke.” Freddie nodded when you looked at him to see if the order’s alright and you handed the cash to the cashier.

Freddie took helped you carry the food and you popped one of the popcorns into your mouth as you make your way to the showing hall, “To be completely honest, I didn’t saw the movie that came out before this one so you gotta fill me in.”

“No worries. They left it on a really good note so you’ll catch up with the plot in no time...”

“That,” you said in awe, stretching after sitting down for such a long time, “is a really good film.”

“Good? It’s the best installment of the entire franchise!” Freddie exclaimed and you chuckled upon seeing his joyed expression. “Those action sequence? The soundtrack? The plot twist? POETIC CINEMA.”

You tried to hold back your laughter, “Pretty sure that’s not how you use it but I’ll let that slide.”

“No but for real,” his hand gestures got increasingly exaggerated as he rambled on, “that is the best movie that came out this year, hands down.”

“Hm, I don’t know,” you gave him a small smirk, “you also said that Shrek 2 is the best Shrek movie and we all know that it’s not true.”

“Hey!” he dramatically put a hand on his chest, faking to be hurt and you laughed. You two kept joking around as you walked down the street. It had been a while since you had so much fun and your stomach hurt from laughing too much. You were just catching your breath to recover from the laugh when you noticed that you were already in front of Freddie’s front lawn. You lived just a few blocks away from him and this would mean that it was time to part ways.

“The weather is really nice tonight.” Freddie said, rubbing the back of his head as he realized that it was his stop already. “We could talk a little longer here, if you want. I mean, our debate on whether Batman counts as a furry is not settled.”

Secretly, you felt relieved that he offered. “Just because there aren’t actual fur involved doesn’t mean it’s not a fursona.” You jokingly said as you sat down on his porch, earning an eye roll from the boy as he placed his crotch by his side and sat down next to you.

“It’s called an ‘alter-ego’!”

“And who are you to say that fursonas aren’t alter-egos...”

The two of you talked about everything that came in mind and there were a few times when you had to physically restraint your laughter to not disturb his neighbors. The concept of time was behind your mind as you enjoyed each other’s company.

“Freddie?”

You turned around upon hearing the sound of the locks clicking and saw a brown haired woman peeping out from behind the door. “Oh! I didn’t know that you have company."

The woman opened the door wider and shook your hand, “I’m Freddie’s mom but you can call me Rosa. Freddie has told us so much about you...”

“Mom-” Freddie’s faced was flushed and he groaned.

“Rosa, is he back yet- Ah! You must be the date that he was so anxious about this morning!” the man walked up to the door and flashed a wide grin once he saw you. He introduced himself as Victor and as you leaned in to greet him, you caught Freddie trying to hide his face behind his palm in embarrassment.

“Seriously, you guys are so embarrassing...”

“Alright, alright,” Victor laughed at his son’s reaction and said with his arm around Rosa’s shoulder, “We’ll give you two some privacy to say your goodbyes but better make it quick.”

“Ok, we get it-”

“And you’re always welcomed to come by the next time you two hang out.” Rosa beamed at you before closing the door, leaving you to alone once again.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Freddie mumbled.

“It’s fine, really,” you smiled in return, “your parents seems nice.”

“Everything a kid can ask for.” He grinned, “I guess you should get going, before you family gets worried and all that.”

You walked a few steps toward the sideway before turning back at him, “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“Yeah, me too.” His smile grew wider but it suddenly dropped like he forgot something. “How much was the food? I should pay you back.”

“Nah, no need. You can pay next time.” It came out so naturally that it wasn’t until words left your mouth that you realized what you just said. You quickly added, “If you want a ‘next time’, that is.”

“Next time? Yeah, sure, of course.” he said, obviously flustered and you felt a warm feeling in your chest. You rushed up to him and gave him a small peck on the cheek. You did not wait for him to react and quickly paced down the road to your house, leaving Freddie alone with a dumbfound expression as he gently touched his cheek where you kissed him.

Oh, there will be a next time.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

more Vamp Glimmer and Supposedly-werewolf-actually-just-a-furry Adora

- Not-sure-if-dating-vampire-or-cosplayer Adora chatting with any bats she sees in case they are girlfriend

- putting out a welcome mat so possible vamp gf won't ever be stuck outside her apartment 

- (it doesn’t quite work like that but adora leaves the mat out anyway) (just in case)

- watching Glimmer determinedly eat pizza while Bow facepalms and looking out for her when she gets violently sick later and being like ? Lactose intolerant?? OR deadly vampiric garlic allergy??? 

- its both

- and worth it

- Vampire glimmer remembering seeing her gf fight off a werewolf and screams internally bc adora is human she could have DIED 

- also how strong is she to fight off a werewolf while wearing a full body realistic furstuit??? 

- hooman gorlfriend STRONK!! 

-Question: how did human adora fight off actual werewolf? 

-Answer: she read somewhere that werewolf bite could one hit K.O. vampires. Pure protective girlfriend panic did the rest 

- this gets swapped once glimmer realizes her gf is 100% human, and very mortal, and won't actually regenerate or heal in moonlight, and could potentially be cursed for all eternity or eaten

- anything supernatural and not friendly within 100 yards of Adora can and will be mobbed by a cauldron of killer bats

- Adora think this is Very Cool

- but she also still wants to Fight too 

- Bow face palms even though he isn’t even there to see it he can just sense them being reckless gay idiots by now he can just TELL  

- Bow’s not a vampire YET but he’s been thinking about it for years bc his best friend is an immortal undead being of the night and he never wants her to be lonely 

- Glimmer was actually a dhampire originally but uh a thing happened- Bow got mistaken for an actual vampire and she jumped in to protect and.... turns out that dhampires come back as vampires when they ‘die’. Who knew?

- (glimmer’s just grateful she got done with high school before she changed. collage would have made her a nocturnal shut in anyway so no biggie) 

- Glimmer’s mom (also Vampire) was a lot more freaked out over it

- it made her a lot less pleased with the idea of Glimmer dating a werewolf aka a thing that hunts vampires on instinct once a month and is one of the few creatures capable of killing them fairly easily 

- she made a lot of very thinly veiled threats to Adora

- Adora was Confused 

- Adora spent a whole year thinking Glimmer’s goth dad had been killed by a furry and they even had a talk about how Glimmer felt dating Adora and how she didn’t want Adora to trying being someone else bc she was already nothing like the people who attacked her dad and SOMEHOW they still didn’t figure things out. Amazing 

- Micah isn’t dead he was a human who got attacked by werewolves for being around Vampire Angella and she turned him to save him but he has to spend a few decades in underground recuperating before he can wake up again :(

- Glimmer, back when she was a living dhampire, was really scared he’d sleep for centuries and she’d never get to talk to him again

- another reason she’s cool with being a 100% vampire now 

- Vampire Glimmer leans into her vampireness with glee- smokey eyeshadow, glitter, metal studs, corsets and fancy skirts, black lace fingerless gloves, lots of moon themed pendents, earrings that look like drops of blood, etc 

- She calls her fashion TRAS-ylvanian Vamp-bi-er because she also uses the trans and bi pride flag colors just like, constantly

- Vampire Glimmer: Things I need to survive. One, clothes themed pink-purple-blue, and Two, clothes themed Blue-Pink-White

Bow: What about blood?

Vampire Glimmer: Oh, yeah. That too I guess 

- Vampire glimmer can sprout smol bat wings 

- she is very pissed. her mom’s wings are HUGE and she cannot WAIT to have wings big enough to use as her own ultimate vampire cape

- after finding out Adora is actually a human Angella gets worried for Glimmer in a whole new way

- by then she’d actually warmed up to ‘werewolf’ Adora and trusted her and was actually glad Glimmer’s girlfriend had some supernatural powers to protect her, but now Glimmer is with a human just like Angella was, and she’ll either lose Adora like Angella almost lost Micah or have to make the choice to change her and possibly be left with the guilt of that for the rest of her eternal life

- (Angella’s a little terrified of Micah waking up. What if he doesn’t like being a vampire? What if he pretends he’s fine with it but secretly isn’t and is lonely and miserable forever??)

- she talks with glimmer about it all and they share many hugs. Yay undead mother-daughter bonding! 

- but this also makes glimmer worry bc she used to think her turning Adora a non-issue bc werewolf but now it’s a thing they have to think about and UGH her head hurts blegh whatever 

- not long after Glimmer catches Adora very seriously trying on some cheap fake party fangs and taking notes on how they feel

- Glimmer laughs so hard she cries 

- then she almost dies when Adora asks her “Vat’s vrong?”

- back to the I Am A Furry reveal, Adora sits down with Glimmer and explains that sometimes a furry is just a person who has a fursona and like dressing up as it if they can afford to and that’s literally all there is to it 

- glimmer does some research and comes back with even more questions 

Vampire Glimmer: If your fersona is bipedal werewolf but your fursuit is hyper-realistic to point where i thought it was a REAL wolf, then does that make you a Feral or just a detailed Anthro?

Adora: how do you KNOW about all this??

Vampire Glimmer: google exists. now answer the question so I know which terrible pun to send in Bow’s good morning text 

- 

-For the next few months after finding out The Truth glimmer suffers like, two more Truths per day 

- Vampire Glimmer, texting from inside her coffin: Wait, if you’re not a werewolf then why do you eat your meat so raw?

Adora: .... i can’t cook...

Vampire Glimmer: .......... fair enough

- half an hour later -

Vampire Glimmer, texting again: WAIT if you’re not a werewolf then how come you get all moody and grumpy and run off into the woods every full moon??

Adora: LARPing is fun but also stressful and brings on my period AND you can’t fully appreciate a good werewolf fursuit without both the right backdrop and bright moonlight 

Vampire Glimmer: Oh. huh

- half an hour later -

Vampire Glimmer, calling adora from inside coffin: Why do you always smell like dog

Adora, sobbing: I VOLUNTEER AT AN ANIMAL SHELTER DURING THE DAY MY SHIFT IS IN TWO HOURS  PLEASE  LET ME REST IN PEACE

Vampire Glimmer: OH MY GOD I’M SORRY BUT WHY ARE YOU EVEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE

Adora, sobbing harder: I JUST REALLY LOVE TALKING TO YOU!!!

Vampire Glimmer: BABE I LOVE YOU TOO BUT THIS IS INSANE EVEN DEAD PEOPLE NEED MORE SLEEP THAN YOU’RE GETTING 

- glimmer texts bow and has him make an emergency coffee run to Adora’s so she be kinda sorta functional. This becomes a ritual and Bow joking complains about having to do their ‘dark bidding’ (adora drinks her coffee black) (Glimmer hates that Bow managed to make a both a vampire AND a coffee pun)

- by far the most horrifying thing of all is the fact that Adora has no canine allergy to chocolate. She just doesn’t like it

- vampire! Glimmer lies awake for several days trying to process this

- in the end they both just really love each other <3 

[123abcdrawwithme]

all spg albums poorly described by me bc i can

album one: steam man band: michael reed voice: GUYS HOLY HECK LOOKIT MY ROBOT FRIEMDS THEIR SO COOL OHMA G AD clockwork vaudeville: now when you say you bought yourself a pickle- sound of tomorrow: the jons audible lenny face as he says “in the nude” on top of the universe 2009 ver.: RABBIT FUCKED A TOASTER AND UPGRADE KILLED THE SPINE THE GIRLS ARE OFF THE SHITS on top of the universe 2011 ver.: alternate timeline where the jon and rabbit kill the spine and deny him ice cream i am not alone: poor one out for upgrades 1 (one) song, shes trying her best ice cream parade: i don’t even know where to begin with this one brass goggles: LOCAL ROBOS ARE FEELING EMO SO THEY HAVE A SING ALONG out in the rain: splish splash they was havin’ a bash electricity is in my soul: okay but whomst the hell is that electronic voice who sings the “la la’s”? serious question who tf is it???? steam man band reprise: michael reed voice: GUYS MY COOL ROBO FRIENDS ARE GETTING AN ENCORE HOLY HECKIE blind minstrel’s ballad: ominous captain albert alexander: listen,,,, he beat spider hulk in an arm wrestling match,,,, hes really cool,,,,,, the 2¢ show: steamboat shenanigans: some say they sang so hard they really did make it to the moon and across the stars ;) one-way ticket: CHU CHU I LOVE U ju ju magic: jonathan giraffe what tHE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT HONEY? ARE YOU OKAY? me and my baby (saturday night): the spines a hopeless romantic and he loves to treat his girl and his siblings support him little birdie: jon makes friends with a bird or some shit idfk rex marksley: the spines a hopeless romantic and sings about his cowboy crush and his siblings support him automatonic electronic harmonics: they want to feel cool,, let them feel cool,, prelude to a dream: hey michael i thought you were supposed to be the human friend whats all this about not being a human being?? mike? m-mike?? make believe: FUCK SOCIETY, TRANS RIGHTS BITCHES *EPIC KAZOO SOLO* honeybee: ah yes that one song we won’t ever let them forget bc were all emo scary world: the morse code says spoopy the suspender man: rabbit voice: yeah theres this guys who sold his soul or whatever how fucked up was that, anyway i want to wear a dress :3c that’ll be the way home: THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL the ballad of lily: oh boi we about to have another character song on this album airheart: character song 2 electric boogaloo circuitry: y’all good? mk iii: curtain raiser: beebop voice: STEVETHY SOMEONES TRYING TO PLAY THE ALBUM   steve voice: oh fuck steam powered giraffe: HEHE NAME DROP mecto amore: this is some rabbits in love again shit but with WHAMST hatch fever: hatchy is here and the album version does not capture how feral hatchworth performed this on stage a way into your heart: spg as a whole @ their fans: we love you all so much thank you for the support over the years :) <3 me through tears: bitch,,,,, <3 ghost grinder: rabbit and the boys on their way to the graveyard at 3 am to party with rabbits dead gf please explain: i stg everytime i hear hatchy sing “gum in my gears” i think he’s saying something else and i’m sure you can fill in the blank, but the thing that gets me is thats so on brand for him to say dsfdfg she said maybe: rabbit is just young old dumb and full of love these days isn’t she? go spine go: almost 6 minutes of hatchworth and rabbit being two year olds and poking fun at spine roller skate king: everyone sleeps on how good this song is wtf i’ll rust with you: me knowing full well this song is about rabbit outliving her gfs throughout the decades bc shes a robot: oh,, so thats why theres so many love songs by rabbit on this album,,, rabbit you good?? wired wrong: the spine you good?? fancy shoes: hATCHWORTH YOU GOOD??? steam powered giraffe reprise: we interrupt your regularly scheduled robot angst hours with that good weeb shit™ turn back the clock: okay back the robot angst bleak horizon: our lovelys saying goodbye saying they’ll be back to bring smiles on our faces soon as we close out to some ominous as fuck shit teasing vice quadrant the vice quadrant: the vice does tight: okay so the vice quadrants fucked up and the robots are very concerned by this on a crescendo: ominous foreshadowing thats so ominous i had to look up what this song meant lore wise bc i just thought it was the robots just dancing and having fun steamjunk: my dear sweet honey darling is traveling through space and I’M WORRIED ABOUT HIM starburner: low-key robo angst bc their worried about their souls being damned or some shit but its cute  progress and technology: david YOUR RANGE wink the satellite: wink voice: YOU WAS MY BABY MY FUCKIN CINNAMON APPLE burning in the stratosphere: oh fire fire: this is the most haunting shit i have no joke for this sky sharks: hoo boi the sky sharks certainly won’t be killing us all today, but climate change sure will daughter of space: PREBBY SPACE GODDESS HNNNGNNGNG star valley night: honeys you know you can just wait for it to be night time right? then you can go play in the star valley at night- commander cosmo: BITCH YOU GOOD? where is everyone?: THERE SHE IS MY BABY gg the giraffe: MY DARLIIIIINNGGG SING IT HONEY  the pulls: wink my darling y’all ok? soliton: corpse man and space goddess sing a really nerdy analogy about love and its gorgeous where i left you: wink seriously are you okay? over the moon: rabbits just done but shes gotta sing it and go all out with how done she is bc shes extra it’s cosmic: is the “alright!” rav?? also is this love song supposed to represent them causing more fuckshit and destroying the universe and just not realizing it bc their in love?? idfk man it bops hold me: whether from the perspective of holly or rabbit i weep openly at this song the speed of light: david: this is where the astronaut turns evil won’t tell you why tho ;) literally every lore buff: *listens to this song and tries to theorize wtf happened* rav to the rescue: local green space twink rescues his space bf more at 11 starlight starshine: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the space giant: three steampunk robots fight a giant starbaby in guitar hero to save a satellites crush; a planet thats a huge apple i have zero jokes for this is already too absurd  oh no: oh OH OH? O H. OOOH OH??????????? o  h... oh no.... necrostar: evil pissrock possessed evil dead guy and is ready to cause fuckshit while the robots sing about how scared they are at the end super space blaster centi-asteroid invaderpedes 2: cute interactions with the robots! i hate this title tho whale song: wholesome shit to distract you from all the lore and foreshadowing at the end Music from steamworld heist:  automatonic electronic harmonics, on top of the universe, electricity is is my soul, honeybee, and brass goggles: me minding my own business playing steamworld heist: *walks into a bar where spine rabbit and hatchworth are performing one of these songs* me: HOOOOOGH heist ho!: yeah thats piper for ya starscrap: hi i’m in love for rabbit? prepare for boarding: GET IN BITCHES WE’RE GONNA OVER THROW THE PATRIARCHY  the red queen: capitalism? demolished. what we need are some heros: the spine projecting his love for cowboys onto the player characters the vast frontier: hatchworth: I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME the stars: they made it lads they made it over the moon and across the stars.... also how’d they keep singing for that long aren’t they tired? quintessential: malfunction: wow i can’t believe spg ended transphobia i don’t have a name for it: love? i guess??gd fgdsghfdg blue portals: the idea of hatchworth going through the blue portals when i know they’re made out of blue matter is terrifying  overdrive: they want to seem cool please play along and pretend their green screen work is cool the ballad of delilah morreo: this came right the fuck out of nowhere but fuck its here now and its fantastic love world of love: wonder what other balboa park songs they’ll bring back, like never gonna give you up :) only human: i’d die for you hatchy salgexicon: they deadass wrote a song about their dnd campaign  sleep evil sleep: i guess we’re all evil BC WE KEEPING SLEEPING ON HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS TOO photographic memories: walter worker chelsea? come get ur mans- leopold expeditus: hatchworth: hey guys checkout my fursona dream machine: this song keeps me up at night with the endING I JUST WANT RABBIT TO BE HAPPY AND ARTSY BUT THE WAY IT ENDED WITH THE VICE QUADRANT RELATED TEASER MAKES ME THINK RABBIT PICKED UP A SATELLITE FREQUENCY FROM WINK ABOUT HOW NECROSTAR WILL KILL RAV IN THE FUTURE DEADASS I’M NERVOUS WHAT HAPPENED