#so haha yeah like uh ya'know just uh don't-

[ratvarr]

the diffrence between my account here and my account on twitter is that my 7 head scalper "friends" don't hark me out, so I can be free here and ngl that's pretty nice because I can just blabber on and on about shit ya'know I mean, sure, nobody but like 6 people over the course of 20 years will see this, but I'd rather that then be crushed slowly by the weight of 7.... Ya'know's But, this is also way better than a 250 limit, because it lets me do these huge paragraphs, that not a SOUL would care about, other than, well, me. Not much of a transition here (hehe) but: I really.. really really wish I could like, come out and speak about my transness, but no matter how hard I think about it I can only see it coming off as weird and gross and awful and everyone will ridicule me and stuff But.. they wont Litterally won't Because... they are already friends with trans people So, like, whats the problem? Ah, I remember, its the issue of my shadowy self doubt in everything, the thought that "oh jeez I'm just a big faker har har you suck your just thinking your trans to fit in" ..... Who.. does that? Not cis people, defiantly not cis people. But with each day forward I see more and more evidence, and it pushes me closer and closer to the edge of speech, the range of my conditional hatred. I... fuck it. I'm gonna say it, I gotta say it, between the end of nextweek, and the end of the month, I need to say something Mark your fucking calendar, January 8th, to January 31st I'm not gonna wither away I need to say something. Need to

[edajcheel]

TW: Cheating Eels, No one is a good person, Moray eels need a warning, Yuu's perspective, ambiguous Yuu, toxic romance, female reader (Leech twins x Reader)

I suggest listening to the song while reading, great experience if I might say ♡

Imagine....

Bubblegum Bitch ♡

The first time she took a step into Night Raven College, it was like seeing the embodiment of Aphrodite.

Beauty, romance, love, lust

Got a figure like a pin-up,

got a figure like a doll.

Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all

Naturally, everyone was curious. Not to mention, a wide variety.

Her long heeled-boots would click and clack down the hallway, perfectly in rhyme. Comparable to the entrancing call of a siren, catching everyone's attention.

"Oh, goodness, shouldn't you move out the way lest you want to actually get ran over?"

The first time I saw her face to face, was when she chided Ace for blocking the way into a classroom.

"Oh— uh.. my bad! Haha..." Ace awkwardly scratched the back of his head as he gave a half-assed bow to her. It doesn't seem like she noticed when she instantly went in after Ace finally moved.

After she was gone from sight, a meager 18 feet away. Ace quickly came to me and Deuce, "Damn, so the new transfer is actually a girl!? You're telling me she was the one who threw Leona across the room at orientation two days ago?"

"Looks like it. It also seems like she's more capable than what the rumors said." Deuce let out a quick laugh, and glanced over to Ace

"Hehe, Ace was redder than a tomato I've ever seen!" Grim snickered behind my arms

"Hah? I think you were just seeing things!" inevitably Ace's ears and face became the exact same blush of red

But I couldn't help but block the sounds near me out while I stared at the entrance to Mr. Trein's classroom. The front row of seats on the right, in the middle was her, Y/n L/n. I also couldn't help but be memorized by her composure, and presence.

"Hey, you comin', Yuu?" Ace nudged me on the shoulder

......

"Oh yeah! Of course I will."

——

Oh dear diary,

I met a boy.

Who made my dull heart,

light up with joy

I was preoccupied by my journal in Alchemy class

Mr. Crewel clearly stated for us to write down the 5 steps to test if a mushroom is lethal, or not.. But I ended up drawing the two tall, and long legged men I've just seen today in the Cafeteria.

"Hehe, Shrimpy, ya'know that ain't the correct formula right?"

"Rather... b3+(8c +∆7) , would be the correct answer."

I shivered at the sudden coldness as I looked up from where the shadows on my shoulders came from.

The Moray brothers... Aka the people that almost kept my friends in captive if I hadn't intruded on their little shady business. "Uhh.. Well, thanks?"

They made me feel like an outright pitiful, and stupid person. But if it's a free answer to an unknown equation that I didn't know how to solve, especially from the Leech twins, chance is it's correct.

"If you ever feel any need to ask for anymore help in the future, we would like to recommend our house warden, Azul Ashengrotto." Jade smoothly cut in

"He's a real genius, got the answers to everything." Floyd twirled my eraser in between his fingers. A show of boredom, perhaps?

I clicked my tongue and pushed both of them away from me. "Please, you two. I've spent way more than I wanted to with both of your shenanigans."

"We were just suggesting, shrimpyy~"

"sometimes, I don't get why I like both of you.."

"What was that?" Floyd suddenly popped up real close to my face and leaned in, a mere few inches in between us

"Now, now, Floyd, you're probably making them uncomfortable."

The pumping of my heart could probably have been heard miles away as I stared into the differing orbs of both of Floyd's eyes. I opened my mouth slowly, just to close it again. I took the option to just nod in agreement to Jade.

"At last, we've wasted time enough, it's time to go back Floyd."

In the end, I was left with the exact same red, pinkish blush that Ace had once donned on his face.

——

I'm miss sugar pink,

liquor, liquor lips.

Hit me with your sweet love,

steal me with a kiss.

The chimes of the radio in the corner calmed me down somewhat. But, seeing.. the transfer talk to them worsened my bleeding heart.

I sipped, and sipped on my drink. I couldn't even taste the flavor, I was using it to relieve my stress and add some little comfort.

In the Mostro Lounge— where I came every Wednesday with my friends, the exception being Thursday today and also being all alone– was the transfer sitting on one of the chairs by the countertop getting all chummy with Floyd and Jade

"Oh please! Rid yourself of that thought now, haha!"

I think I want your, your American tan

Oh, oh, oh

my eyes narrowed even deeper, as I stared at her. What is she plotting?

"Hehe~ does Angelfish really think that we would let it go that easily?" Floyd giggled, as he poked her cheek playfully.

Angelfish??...........

I think you're gonna be my biggest fan

"Truly, she doesn't think that now right?" Jade's long pinky finger slightly grazed hers while cleaning the countertop with the small rag.

Was it on purpose or on accident?

.......

I sat on my bed. The pit of my stomach was full of dread, apprehension, fear. It was silent, dead silent. Exactly midnight, 0:00A.M

The only sounds that accompanied me in this dead night was Grim's grumbling snores. It provided no comfort at all, in truth, his snores completely crossed my mind

"Augh..."

I quickly grab my neck to cease the vomit creeping up, and sprinted all the way to the restroom.

Fortunately, I made it to the restroom without doubling over and making a mess out of the floor. I crouched down in front of the toilet.

Oh dear diary,

we fell apart.

Welcome to the life of Electra Heart.

My vision became blurry, hot drops of tears fled down my eyes, falling into the toilet.

Just like back then, she ruined it again.. Why can't I ever have my happily ever after? Why does she have to steal everything from me? Why won't she just leave me alone?

I'll chew you up and, I'll spit you out.

"W-Why won't she just give it a break...?" I slam my fist down to the wooden floor board beneath me as more tears crawled down my eyes.

"...eh, Yuu..? Are you okay?"

I looked to the doorway, to find Grim in the crack of the door.

——

"Why can't you just let go of the past already!?" I dabbed my finger into her chest, and I made it extra forceful to give her a slight grimace.

"Unfortunately, I don't understand what you're getting at."

I was behind the school, in a dark, small confined space where not much sun hit. I thought it was the perfect place to talk to the girl in question without any interruptions.

As I stare into her eyes. It reminded me of how they looked in the past. The exact same dull color, as if she's empty. There was absolutely no shine in them, nothing that can hint at her true feelings right now.

"Oh, you know damn well what I'm getting at. Don't play dumb." I hissed.

I'm miss sugar pink.

Liquor, liquor lips

"All those times, when we were younger. Dumber. Naive. Why can't you just let go?"

She was quiet. Just like back then. Her head was lowered. Just like back then. She didn't say anything. Just like back then. It was as if she couldn't figure out her own words. Just like back then.

"You stole him away from me. You played with me like I was one of your overpriced dolls. You made me think I was your best friend, just to target me and steal the boy closest to my heart."

She rises her head, something that was unfamiliar to her back then. Her eyes told me everything. How she regrets being friends with me. How she regrets letting me take him. How she regrets everything she's done for me.

"Did you not ever think that I would take revenge?" She took one step towards me.

"You'll feel what I felt back then."

She yanked my hair and pushed me down to the ground.

"Agh!"

Straight to number one...

I looked up, desperately, and opened my mouth to let out a call for help before a hand that grasped my neck stopped me.

"Heeeeehhh? What does Shrimpy think they're doing right now?" A similar sounding high-pitch voice echoes next to my ear, "It won't be that easy to escape, ya'know."

"Everything comes with consequences, dear Prefect." Both twins stood on each side of me, just like back at the cafeteria. But with more sinister reasons.

"N-no.. wait.. you have to be joking." It took all my strength to muster out that sentence. In disbelief, I looked up at Y/n.

"Maybe you should've considered your actions before. Oh well, I can't help you now." Y/n grinned. She looked almost insane with how her smile was growing second by second.

The most scariest thing is how different she turned out to be. The Y/n I knew wouldn't have hurt a fly. But as people grow older, they start becoming someone way more different than the person that used to play in mud, chase butterflies, play with water, and make flower crowns.

"If you think you could hurt Angelfish, and get away with it.. You're dead wrong, Shrimpy."

I'm miss sugar pink.

Liquor, liquor lips

Hit me with your sweet love,

steal me with a kiss

"P-please believe me, i-i.. didn't do anything wrong!" I slowly start crawling away from those two, those three.

As I did so, tears started bleeding out my eyes, just like what was happening to my heart right at this moment.

"Oh, but you did? I don't understand how hard it is to just accept your wrongdoings and pay it back." Jade breathes, disappointed.

"I-I-I'm sorry, I apologize... I crossed a line that wasn't mine.!"

I could barely see the growing scowls on both twins' faces with my blurry eyesight.

It seemed like they were waiting for a call.

"I don't forgive you."

I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch.

Bonus:

"Now that we've completed our side of the contract, it is your turn to complete yours, Y/n-san." Jade turned to me.

I smile and nodded. I wiped away the small glop of blood on my cheek with my handkerchief. "Thank you, both of you."

"C'moooon, Angelfish! If you really want to thank us, fulfilling your side of the contract wouldn't be that hard." Floyd grabbed me by my arms, and used enough force to make me fall into his chest

"Yes, we do deserve a reward from all our hard work." Jade let out a deep chuckle, slowly walking towards me.

"Please, go ahead. Y/n-san."

Both twins crouched to my height, expectingly.

Smooch ♡

Lowkey disappointed in this one.... But fuck it. I have many other chances to feed y'all better food. Y'all can get a taste of this trashy one!

[artzypaw]

I don't wanna be annoying or anything, so if you don't wanna reply to this, you absolutely do not have to. I saw your vent drawings of Katsuki and Kiri crying, and your tag of insecurities and stuff, and I was just wondering if you're doing alright? It might sound weird from a random stranger, but I just wanna make sure, ya'know? I'd hate to think someone with such amazing talent and skill at drawing is thinking badly of themselves.

You’re not being annoying whatsoever I swear I greatly appreciate asks !!

And I’m okay— just , uh it’s a long story? Or explanation?? I’m not necessarily hating on myself but it’s also kinda what insecurities are?? Im explaining it in more detail below the cut (im responding from my phone so I have no clue how tf to insert a cut page so just after the dashes 😂😭) but the short is that I’ll be okay, it’s going to pass.

————

So,, um - like I’m insecure about a lot of things, and I’ve gotten better and accepting my self worth Over the years a whole lot, really , but some days I just feel like crawling under my blankets and hiding from everything.

And rn I’m just dealing with the biggest one?? The only one that really upsets me and just makes me emotionally exhausted. Like, sometimes it’s just so hard to go outside knowing it’s blaringly obvious.

So I’ve always had acne. Everyone’s’ is different and I’m a pasty ass white bitch so if I get red I’m like red. I can’t hide it and a lot of the time they’re inflamed and or scabbed and it’s not subtle at all. I’ve had it ever since puberty hit and I’ve come to just accept it’s a thing , but it really frustrates me to no end because it likes to be a little shit and come in waves. I’ll be relatively okay one day, and then the next I have like 20 large ass splotches on the most exposed parts of my face. Sure I have acne on my arms and I’ll get it on my back if I get hot but it’s most prominent on my face.

I swear I feel like I’ve tried everything to get rid of it, or at least subdue it to a tamed amount to where I’m not constantly having to hide my face inconspicuously , but it always comes back. I figured out a couple years ago my birth control is a large source— and it’s from the excess hormones and i haven’t had time to maybe check and see if I could maybe find a supplement birth control that might react differently,, but yeah I recently got back on my birth control because I missed a month (forgot to order my refill lmao whoops) and it’s like, spontaneously brought all these blemishes again that I haven’t had for a solid month.

But I always thought that it’d go away with age. Lots of ppl I’ve met and have read of had their acne grown out by the time they were adults and I’m not quite in my 20’s but I’m really fucking close and it’s legit no different from when I was in middle school😪.

It upsets me that I’ll be on my acne medication routine, and it’s almost as if it’s not worth doing it bc there’s no results. I’ve been on it for 3 months and the only noticeable changes have been the one month I forgot to order my pills.

I mean to an extent Idgaf about my acne. It’s life and I’m just trying to live it but I don’t want ppl to have to look at it too. Idk if it’s bc I’m a people pleaser but honestly I find myself more concerned with the wellbeing of others before I do myself. I don’t want to inconconveinience ppl with having to talk to me and look at the mess on my face I have no control over. I don’t wear makeup, the most you’ll catch me wearing is mascara and like maybe some eyeshadow but it’s all natural and you probably couldn’t even tell I had it on. My skin is extra fucking oily too so it wouldn’t last anyways.

Idk, sometimes I’m tired. Uh, like yeah I’m always tired sleep wise lmaoo but I’m also tired of my stupid ass insecurities and anxiety and whatever else likes to hang on my shoulders. So that’s really why I’m upset.

I’m okay. I’m used to it I’m just pent up?? I’m really thankful for your support and concern it means a lot to me that you’re asking 💖. My vent drawing I don’t normally share, they’re either really bad and I don’t like them or they kinda just don’t make sense so I’ll keep them in my folders , or even I just won’t finish them , but idk I was okay posting those even if there are parts I wished I’d done differently.

Haha um but each photo kinda represented each of my emotions?? Idk but like Kiri’s tired and upset, and is reaching out for comfort and the comfort is covering his face? It’s kinda dumb lmao but it just ended up like that. Baku’s frustrated and also timid in the way he’s crawling in on himself and then I also put my while insecurity of my face into it where he’s covering his own.

So yeah haha that’s the explanation ,,

Thanks again for the support, I’m going to be okay 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖