#so he also lied bc he said that him and the gm both saw me leave? and i was like ??? jackie was not down here plus? i would have seen her

[strawbabycowboy]

i left the floor today for a personal convo, and then lied abt it to my manager - who immediately called me on it. because he saw me leave . and while im like i shouldn’t have lied, absolutely, why didn’t you just ask me . why i left the floor during a busy time, and reprimand me from there? like , i realise you wanted to see if i would lie, but then you just made me panic .

[rosykims]

drthamen replied to your post “tell us abt saoirse”

first of all: we stan! and also what's your go to party for her? if you wanna info dump even more! tell us abt what she thinks about the companionsssss

omg sammy i cherish u truly !

saoirse's main party is aloth, d*rance, eder, sagani and hiravais, but i do swap eder out for pellagina a lot too. The party is pretty fluid especially since i have all the companions from white march as well, so really the only charas that are essential is aloth and durance, mostly for my sake since wizards are op and i literally cannot play this game even on story mode w/o a priest oof

she has mostly good relationships w everyone except durance which is a pretty big achievement for someone as introverted as her!

aloth // obviously she loves him a lot bc she romances him lmao ! i havent started poe2 yet so i cant really talk much abt their romantic relationship but their friendship is rly nice ! there is very little romantic interest between either of them in poe1 except for maybe right at the end, bc they both just werent in the right emotional space for it ykno. their relationhip starts very distant and begrudging, since saoirse is only interested in undoing the watcher business and getting back to her life. it isnt until she learns about his awakened condition and his family history that she starts to warm to him, since shee feels like he gets her in a way most dont. theyre both pretty introspective, so she also appreciates just hanging back with him while the others chat, and just enjoying silence for a bit.

she was absolutely furious after finding out he was leaden key, especially bc she had shared her fears of being exploited/betrayed. it took her a while to forgive him, but it was actually laoghaire who managed to help talk her down and see his side of things. their friendship ended up getting stronger after that ! her worldstate ending basically encouraged aloth to value autonomy, and he ends up dismantling the leaden key.

edér // one of the first actually friends she made out of the companions. she admired his love for his brother bc obviously she can relate, and knowing what happened to woden made her really empathise w him. she ended up coming to really romanticize the idea of eothas, or redemption more like, to the point where she was almost disappointed when she saw he was not amongst the other gods in teir breith. edér really pushed her to be better when she didnt think there was any hope for her. his ending has him put his faith in people, and he becomes mayor of dyrford.

durance // absolutely hates him lol. actively tries to kill him after That One Hollowborn Conversation and really has no time for him after that. shes super cruel to him after finding out abt the magran/woedica Tea and even moreso after the revelation about the gods. idk im thinking abt experimenting in my next playthru, having pellagina as a support paladin bc apparently she can be just as good, and then maybe i just wont invite him in my party at all lmao. he throws himself on a pyre in my worldstate ✌

grieving mother // ok so... i'll be honest i dont know much abt gm !! i barely had her in my party bc saoirse is a cipher so there was little need. the only thing i cant really say for certainty was that saoirse was pretty distrustful of her for a while.

hiravais // bros ! they have a mutual admiration for each other, since saoirse thinks hes hilarious and outrageous (shes way more sheltered than she looks, so any sexual innuendos either completely shock her, or totally go over her head) and hiravias thinks her reactions to his jokes are the funniest things ever. they are both pretty protective of each other and stand up for one other, both being considered socially “other". hiravias prioritized wael in my ending.

kana // they don't have much in common, but kana is BEST BUDS with laoghaire, so saoirse has a big soft spot for him. It took her a long time to accept that kana actually was as nice as he seems, and so he remains to be a big comfort for her, even though she rarely talks to him one on one.

pellagina // saoirse has..... a highkey crush on her when she first meets her. which is VERY saoirse bc underneath her grumpiness lies a true hopeless romantic. anyway saoirse really looks up to her, since she is another godlike who seems to have accomplished so much and has essentially risen from nothing. saoirse kinda looks to her as a role model for a time, and although she feels somewhat intimidated by her at times, she also likes going to pellagina when she’s mad and needs someone to rant to. theyre both rational minded people at their core so they work super well together and, like aloth, pellagina doesn’t need to fill the silence of a room so that suits saoirse just fine ! pellagina doesn’t go through with the trade deal in my canon, and ends up working for a merc group. it made me sad but it seemed like the best outcome imo :(

sagani // another woman saoirse looks up to, though she shares a sense of comradery she doesn’t really have with any of the other members. both women are drifters are are doing unpleasant work out of a sense of duty, and both feel alienated from their homes and families at times. it’s never really spoken that plainly between them - especially not at the start - but they both empathise with each other deeply, which is why saoirse really tries to help prioritize sagani’s family towards the end. sagani got the nice family-orientated ending in my canon so ::3 we stan :3

i might do the dlc charas later but yea like i said she really... unexpectedly found friendship w all of the characters of poe, and she SEVERELY misses the adventures they all had together in the space between poe1 and poe2. im started poe2 tomorrow (hopefully) so im excited to really.... play her as a more benevolent person after all the shit everyone went thru in the first game.

[jepleurs-icry]

My Life, My Mess, My Legacy Part 3

This chapter is perhaps the hardest to write because of how much I invested in this relationship.

Having had two previous relationships that went sour, I was much more aware of how this person behaved. Not just what he said, but how they acted.  In a way, I was leery of getting into another relationship. In fact, I went back to the singles dances once a month and joined a mixed soft ball league .  A fun league to enjoy a sport and make new friends. A social person I am not.  I am introverted, have way too much "empathy" and I am not a person who is well liked for some reason.  Why? I don't know; it was like that in school. People didn't know me, but they had a judgement of me.  Being unpopular was a way of life.  I really did not care. I had a lot of pride in me.  This was because "our" natural family had been split apart, and we were made fun of at school.  My pride came from my thinking that my family did nothing wrong except be poor.  It wasn't my fault.  It was something that we had no control over. So, to continue on, this pride made me tough, indifferent to what others thought of me.  I did not care.  If they could not take the time to talk to me, or want to be friends, even though I tried, I let it go and observed others but always from afar. The bullshit that people say to each other, boasting and bragging and back stabbing made me stronger.  I didn't want to be like them.  I grew up always observing others.  And I heard a lot of things that people would say, and totally behave another way. So, I enjoyed playing softball, that summer, it was fun! I was not an "A" player, more like a "C" player. But it was fun! But, it was at a singles dance one night, my girlfriend and I were doing a line dance, and I could see this man standing near the bar, but kinda off to the side a little.  He kept staring at me nearly all night. Time went on for awhile, and a few months passed some more, and the next dance I went too, I did not see that man at all.  I kinda forgot about him. I saw him playing on another softball team that summer or spring.  1995 I believe.  My girlfriend would come and watch the games sometimes and she knew I was a tad lonely, so she called out to this man and said something to him.  I think she told him he had a nice ass.  He laughed. I ignored him, as most of the guys there were looking to meet someone or they already had their significant other. At the next singles dance, he was there, and my girlfriend told him he could come sit with us.  But I said no, the seat next to mine was taken.  Although it wasn't; I wasn't prepared to have a jackass sit next to me all night. But, it turned out he seemed to be a nice guy, loved to talk and laugh.  He did talk a lot.  He told me he was a recovering alcoholic and was sober for about 6 months.  He was an alcoholic all his life and had learned it from his Dad. I was very careful, as drinking was not something I wanted in my life, although I did drink on weekends like at a dance or a dinner party.  He would talk and talk.  About, how going to AA had helped him so much. He had a better understanding of how to work out problems without using alcohol.   He had amends to make as well, with his children, family members, co-workers, etc.  He wanted to be a better person. It took me 2 months before we had our first kiss.  He would come over to my place in the evening and we would have ice tea outside.  And, he would talk about his life.  All of it.  I listened to every story he had to say about his family, his Mother and Father, brothers, his ex-wife, his children, his disease (alcohol). Eventually after about one year, the next softball season came upon us and we joined the same team.  He became a popular and was well liked by all.  Especially the ladies. the guys were jealous of him.  He liked to brag about his sport's skills, and about his AA recovery.  That was fine, but hearing it all the time it becomes an Ah-ha moment. Without having good problem solving skills in life, a person does not know how to find solutions to their everyday challenges.  An alcoholic cannot find a way to resolution, therefore drinking is the solution. Eventually we

became a couple.  Slowly, we talked and got to know each other.  I was not sure I liked everything about him.  He used to "spit".  I told him to stop that and use a kleenex, it was gross! He used to swear, which I hated, I asked him to stop doing that too.  This was his old alcoholic behavior talking.,.,  Gradually those things went away.  He worked on himself.  I was proud of him, but still cautious. He was a smoker, and I was not.  He never smoked around me, but he said he was willing to quit, (and I know that's really hard).  He went on the patch at first it helps you to quit.  But he cheated. He would smoke with the patch. Finally after a few months he said he manged to quit for good.  Or so he said. The patch helped him not get the cravings. One day, he was out at the mall, we were living together by then, it had been a year, so I was good with us living together.  That day, I decided to go to the mall to the get something at the drug store.  The mall had a food court and he would meet his AA buddies there, have coffee, and do lotto scratch tickets. When I got to the mall, I finished my shopping and was at the cash and saw him sitting with one of his buddies, doing a scratch ticket and smoking! So much for telling me he quit!  He lied.... I hated liars.  I went over and confronted him.  I was calm, but shaking inside.  I told him I didn't like liars and I didn't want to see him again.  I walked back to my apartment. I don't remember if it was the same day or the next day in the early evening he knocked on my door.  He said he was sorry he lied.  I couldn't help what else he lied about.  He asked me to forgive him and would really quit smoking and never lie to me again. That was not true.  There were many times, he lied about things.  I think it had to do with being so used to lying to his family about his drinking and hiding things, it was second nature to him. But...I was tired of being alone.  I enjoyed his company. I had grown fond of him so I gave him a 2nd chance. Eventually, we took a trip to Kelowna, BC to visit some friends that lived there.  We stayed at a beautiful bed and breakfast.  We fell in love with this small town. Later the following year, we decided to move out there because we thought it was beautiful.  So that August, we moved to Kelowna in 1997. I found part time work at the Real Canadian Super Store, and he was on disability for his back, since he had had a couple of surgeries on his back.  When we moved to Kelowna we had to quit our jobs, but for him he pretended to have back issues so he could get long term disability for 2 years. I got tired of him not working and being home all day.  He started whining about things because he had no car, as I was using it to go to work.  We moved to Richmond the following year, cause I wanted to work full time and in Kelowna full time jobs that pay well are scarce.  After we moved, he was still on disability. He could not find work.... He still lied about things.  During that year in  1999, he found a job being a sales rep for an artificial plant company, that would sell plants to restaurants, or commercial offices. One day he took me by surprise, he said he went to the GM dealer to buy a used van so he could carry the plastic plants around in it, as these plants were quite large.  But I really didn't want to be in debt for a van, which meant another 320.00$ a month. In the long run, no one would buy any plastic plants so he never made a sale. But, we still had the van to pay for.  After 2 years his disability ran out, and there was no more money coming in from his side. In the year 2000, in the month of July, he sat me down in the kitchen and told me we had to move back to Montreal, since he could not find a job in BC. I was devastated. He also said we had to file for bankruptcy because he could not pay rent or insurance any more.  He had zero money coming in.  We were married by then, back in Kelowna we had the Minister come to our house and we had a very small wedding in our living room. So, I would be dragged into bankruptcy too.  He

told me he would take the van and drive back to Montreal with two of our dogs.  I would fly down in a couple of weeks with the other small dog. It was a very difficult period.  I had to give my convertible back to the bank as we could not afford to keep both vehicles.  I was furious, I resented him and what we would have to go through.  I had never been a person who had bad credit. Once he was in Montreal he found a place for us to live, and he did find work almost right away.  We went to a solvency company and declared bankruptcy.  I was ashamed, humiliated, angry and embarrassed all at the same time.  I blamed my husband for having to put us through this. It was easy for me to find a job a couple of weeks after, we moved back to Montreal.  Between the two of us we wanted to rebuild our lives, so we started to invest in RRSP'S.  In 2 years we had enough for a down payment and moved to the suburbs of the suburbs. It was a really nice house, with an outdoor pool, a huge yard, and a Master bedroom downstairs with a private bathroom.  I loved it and we were happy for awhile. After about 6 months of being in the house, my husband became depressed.  His boss was "grinding" him, and there was conflict at work.  This made him grumble about everything he had to do around the house.  He lost interest in me. I encouraged him to write up a new resume, and start looking for another job.  So he did that and within 2 months he found something else, and quit the job he had. His behavior around me did not improve.  I felt him pull away.  Not sure if it was the depression or he just got tired of me.  It was 9 years we were together.  He felt broken, tired. We ended up selling our house and moving back to the West Island to be closer to our work.  The relationship was ending I could tell. We lived maybe 1 year in the new house and we decided to split up.  I moved out into a small townhouse and we split the little money that was left over from the sale. During this 6 month separation, I thought he would really look at what he wanted in life, at our relationship.  I thought he would work on "us", but it didn't happen. Instead; he flew to Hawaii for a softball tournament, where he met another female player called Louis. He knew her from other teams and they hooked up in Hawaii. At one point, I wanted him back, as I still loved him and I was heart broken that all of this happened.  So we tried re-connecting.  He thought he could have her and me at the same time.  I said no.  I said it is better for us to get a divorce now. He drew up the divorce papers and they were signed I think in 2005 or 2006.  The last time we were together and he left for the last time, I walked around the apartment feeling empty.  It was like the ghost of him was still there.  I went from room to room feeling his presence.  It was an awful feeling. It took me a long time to get over him. I'm not perfect.  I was hard on him, to push him to get that other job, to try to get him out of that depression.  Once he was apart from me, he found his joy back.  I could tell. For me, I decided to move to Ontario in early 2007.  Fourteen years later I was still in Ontario.  It was the year of 2012 that I realized I no longer had sad thoughts about me missing him.  I finally was free too, and went back to college to learn something new. I found a new career in medicine and loved it. After 5 years my joy had come back to me as well.  Since then, I am happy, working, almost retired but happy.  I have everything I need and want.  Single yes, but I have good friends that know me and know my heart. That's all I need. There probably will never be another man in my life.  I think 3 was enough.  At least now, if I create a mess with my life, it is my mess and I am not forced to fall into someone else's. I hope you enjoyed my memoirs.  I enjoyed writing about it.  It will give my children a chance to know more about my life once I am gone. Thank you Chickapea

[lostbandar]

History of Delhi is a story of Muslim Sultans with whom came the culture which resides in the houses even today. This story is of the Sufi saint whose shrines still light up our lives. Persian traders who with them brought the technique of Zari also left their language in the Bazaars of Delhi. And the British officers who taught us their etiquettes 1739 Nadir Shah looted and devastated Delhi, for months the streets were filled with tears and blood, but one thing that even he was not able to take was the taste of Delhi.

  My parents were born in undivided India and were the lucky ones who survived the massacre at partition. My grandmother used to tell me about how each evening people would gather around a large Tandoor to make Rotis taking turns. Very few original Delhiites remain, and this city became the city of refugees. I’ve been born and brought up in Delhi, like many I was oblivious to the various layers this city has, and all the monuments were ruins which looked all the same. As my love for the town grew I became a travel professional taking people along to unravel each layer.

Geographical Relevance 

Today the population of Delhi is around 20 million and as the name suggests is the heart of India. If you look at our map, we’ve a 5000 km of coastline. Water protected us, so all the invasions happened from north-west of our country. Coming from Kabul – Lahore – Punjab you naturally entered the Gangetic planes. This made Delhi geographically relevant. Fertile, safe and a perfect stronghold for thousands of soldiers. On these very passages of conquest, the great exchange of religion culture and cuisine took place over a period of 1500 years. In the northern region, we have more varieties of grains and beyond central India, we consume more rice due to the hot and humid climate.

The modern city of Delhi is built over seven layers of various dynasty’s from the 12th century till the 20th. Food of Delhi was the food of Chauhans- Rajputs – Jats – Gurjars, then came the Sultanate period which lasted from 1192 till 1526, Turko Afghan food came to Delhi – bringing Tandoors, Sherbets and Pan. And then with the Mughals who rules us for more than 300 years came the Persian influence, and so came various traders and their eating habits. In other words, the Age of plenty has never ended here as it was the capital for more than 1000 years. That meant that the best of the best from around the world would be available in Delhi.

IBN E Batuta one of the worlds greatest traveller came to India in the 1330s during the Tughlaq dynasty. He noted that due to various attacks on Delhi people started storing rice in walls. When he saw them taking the rice out from walls they had turned dark in colour and tasted better. Along with its various meat preparations and birds like Grey Partridge(titar and bater) were being cooked too.

    STORY OF SHAHJAHANABAD –

Today the true essence of Delhi lies within Old Delhi – Shahjahanabad. The 17th century – Old Delhi is what authentic Delhi is and rest I would say is all around it. Walls of Old Delhi are not walls but curtains – behind which you find the delicately made food with love. The day here did not start until you heard the morning Azaan and the streets around Jama Masjid were Filled with smells of nihari.

Being inaugurated in 1640 this city was built by the same person who commissioned the construction of Taj and at the same time. When the city was being constructed the personal physician of Shahjahan went up to him and told him that each person in this city is going to have an upset stomach as the Yamuna water is not drinkable. When asked for a solution he advised to add spices in food and to balance the effect of spice they should add clarified butter. So for Non-Vegetarians, they added spices and Ghee to all meat dishes, and for Vegetarians they made Chat which is both spicy tangy. And this what makes the street food of Delhi popular all over the country. In the Bazaars of old Delhi which have become a wholesale market, shopping and street food go hand in hand.

As you are looking at jewellery in the narrow lanes of Maliwara near Chandni Chowk the shop owner would order his boys to get Kachori from Jung Bahadur, Bhalle from Natraj and Mattra kulcha from Kinari.  It is this experience which brings you back again and again.

Another Farman(Order) given by Shahjahan was that the women of the fort will not go out to shop, the shops come to them. So along your carpets and spices came a movable feast which continues to be the pride of old Delhi residents. Khomche wale- the concept of a moveable feast is something unique to the lifestyle of a Delhiite. The person comes once a day – Makes things fresh and with such care that people change their plans to be around when its time for him to come.

Daulat Ki Chat

  Paranthey Wali Gully

Well after the Mutiny in 1857 against East India Company which started in Meerut and ended in Delhi was over and we were now under the Queen. A family from madMadhya Pradesh (central India) decided to move to Old Delhi. Continuing the tradition of old delhi he started deep frying his paranthas in Ghee (clarified butter) and have been serving them to the revolutionaries, the first prime minister and to film stars since 1875.

Sweets of Delhi – Once in Delhi two rich merchants Mir Sahab and Lalajee were discussing food. Mir Sahab said “Maas Bina Ghaas Rasoi” if there is no meat in a meal it’s like eating grass  – well the reply he got was that “Khand bina sab rand rasoi” without sweets there can be no food … Some people can’t do without korma and kebabs, and some can’t do without Sweets.

The Holy Cow gives us the most important ingredient – Milk used to make most of the sweets made in Delhi. Till the Portuguese arrived in India there was no concept of Cottage Cheese or a Rasgulla. If milk curdled it was considered as inauspicious. We love dessert so much that one shop is named after it – Hazari Lal Jain Khurchan waley. Khurchan is a dessert which is prepared by reducing milk on slow heat till only a layer is left in the container. Six such layers topped with pistachio makes Khurchan one of the specialities of Delhi

Just like the serpentine lanes of old Delhi, we get dessert over here called the Jalebi, which has Arab origins where it used to be called as Zalebia. Made from Besan and maida it is deep-fried in Ghee and then dipped in a sugar syrup which has saffron in it. It will not be wrong to say that the sugar syrup which drips from jalebi probably united the whole country.

Khansamas(Chefs) from the kitchens of Red Fort

In 1658 when Aurangzeb imprisoned his father and left for Deccan the Red Fort in Delhi came under the control of his loving sister Roshanara Begum. Every evening the rich ladies, nobles and Amirs of the city and from Haram would arrive in the Khas Mahal for a splendid feast. They would be welcomed with Paan, Sherbet and attar sprayed on them. As they got settled and welcomed Roshnara begum by bowing down in respect the feast would start. Some 200 hundred dishes prepared by 200 chefs made from materials procured from around the world would be served.

Few of the people who stayed back started eateries like Karim’s in Old Delhi. One of the popular dishes apart from other delicacies is Mutton Ishtew, an Anglo Indian dish made in the kitchens David Ochterlony the first resident of Delhi. He had 13 wives, dressed like Mughals and conducted lavish parties each evening. His cook made this dish (meat 1 Kg – 400 gm Onion – 1kg Tomato – 1kg Curd – Whole Ginger & Garlic – ghee ). Mutton stew or other meat dishes in Delhi are eaten with Khamere Roti. Khameer means yeast- Yeasting goes back to 2000 BC, ie 4000 years ago in Egypt, and it reached India in the 13th century in India with Central Asian people. various types of  breads are prepared with this process like Dessert Rotis – Bakharkhani – Sheermal – Kulcha

Khari Baoili one of Asia’s biggest spice market was set up in 1551 by Sher Shah Suri near the prominent Lahori Gate of Shahjahanabad. Stores here have been running for around 11 generations and being on the trade route – Ingredients like gum- Silver /gold foil – long pepper etc were available to serve Dilli walas. The first references of dates can be traced to almost 3000 years ago from excavation done in the Old Fort area of Delhi, and with it traces of the use of grains like Wheat, Jawar – barley – Meats –  a Beer called Fukka and a Wine called Sura.

Nizammudin Dargah

  “Kabhi Iss jagah se Guzar ke toh dekho                                                                                     badi raunque hai fakiro ke dere”

Sufism in Delhi A Sufi is considered as a pure soul, and it is believed that if you have your grave built near a Sufi dargah you would be allowed into the heavens with the blessings of The Sufi. It has been an age-old tradition to give free food and help the poor or travellers coming to the city. It is said that at the Dargah of Hazrat Nizamuddin Auliya in the times of Sultan Allaudin Khilji, everything that was collected was distributed every third day. Langar which ran 24 hrs ran all through the year was food cooked in large quantities for the purpose of charity. The lanes leading up to the Dargah are filled with places selling Nahari and Kebabs.

  Bengali Food

In 1911 when the British shifted the capital from Calcutta to Delhi few businessmen and traders shifted their base, and later when East Pakistan was converted to Bangladesh in 1960’s a large number of refugees came to Delhi. One such very affluent colonies today was a place allotted to refugees.  Chittaranjan Park is a piece of Bengal where you get Kolkatta style rolls and the best of Bengali sweets among other things.

Jhal Muri

Bengali Sweets

Rolls

  My relation with Delhi has been like a traditional  Indian arranged marriage, this meeting was arranged by my parents, and now I can’t imagine living without the other. I have fallen in love with the Tehzeeb of Delhi. So be our guest and as you remove the curtains before you enter within, you’ll find people, sights, sounds and smells all welcoming you with warm hearts and delicious food.

Old Delhi Havelis and Food Walk

  Age of Plenty- History of Delhi through its Food History of Delhi is a story of Muslim Sultans with whom came the culture which resides in the houses even today.