#I’m like you … didn’t react in a mature way . and … we could have had an actual convo about it

[jo-speaks]

good graces ft. quinn hughes

in which…

quinn hughes realizes you'll be okay, with or without him.

warnings: MDNI. brief smut (again, it's like a paragraph), mature language, mentions of cheating, and i think that's all.

track three in short n' sweet (hughes brothers version) series!

When I love you, I'm sweet like an angel

Drawin' hearts 'round our names

And dreamin' of writing vows, rockin' cradles

“What’re you doing?” Quinn asked, wrapping his arms behind you as you shut the oven door, leaving the sweet treat you made to bake.

You took off your oven mitt before sighing and leaning back into his hold. “Baking cookies. You said you wanted some this morning, right?

He let out a soft laugh, “Yeah. How did you hear that though?”

“It’s not like you’re quiet when you’re on the phone with Conor.”

Quinn rolled his eyes playfully, dismissing your comment about how comfortable he was when talking to his teammate. He set one of his hands to lean back against the kitchen island where he felt a piece of paper under his palm. He furrowed his eyebrows, creasing the sheet slightly to pick it up. 

After a quick examination, he realized it was the recipe you had written down for the cookies. In the top corner of it, he saw his initials next to yours, enclosed in a heart. Quinn felt a warm feeling in his chest knowing you had done that, not caring if he saw it or not.

He held the paper in front of your face, which you had buried in the crease of his right elbow. “What’s this?”

You traced your eyes over the paper, “The recipe for the cookies? Don’t tell me you can’t read all of a sudden.” He gave you a thin-lipped look before tapping his finger over the childish drawing causing your eyebrows to lift in realization. “Oh, that. Got bored, thought it was cute. Something we could show the kids.”

Now it was his eyebrows that rose, “Kids? Like our kids?”

“Yeah, two of them. One of each. We can have them after our billion-dollar wedding.” You stated that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Quinn knew you weren’t entirely serious. The two of you had this conversation a few months ago and he knew you wanted him to focus on his hockey career while you focused on your career. You both agreed you didn’t want to rush into anything until you were settled. And since Vancouver had been his home for 6 years and yours for 5 of those when you decided to move in with him, maybe it was time to start putting down those roots together.

Don't mistake my nice for naive

“Y/N, please. You’re being ridiculous. You were the one who told me to come in the first place!” Quinn called out to you as you walked away from him.

You stopped and turned back to face him, “Because I thought you’d have fun celebrating with your team here! Not flirt with the bartender the whole night!”

He rolled his eyes, setting you off even more. “I wasn’t flirting with her! I was getting Brock his drink!”

“Whatever, Quinn. I’m going home.” You sighed, not wanting to continue arguing with him in front of a bunch of people.

“I wasn’t flirting.” He mumbled, defeated.

You almost felt bad for reacting the way you did, but you knew him. The half smile and constant nodding all while keeping his eyes on her lips as they moved. 

You weren’t stupid.

I don't waste a second, I know lots of guys

You do somethin' suspect, this cute ass bye-bye

Like, ooh

Baby, you say you really like it being mine?

So let me give you some advice

After the whole bar argument, you decided to repay the favour a few days later when you had gone out to that same bar with your girlfriends. The same night you knew the Canucks would be celebrating their victory there. You watched the door attentively before a tap on your shoulder caught your attention.

“Y/N, this is Josh. He thought you were cute!” Was the only thing your friend said before walking away. The stumbling in her steps was the only thing you needed to explain the situation. 

Josh rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he placed his drink down on the bar and took the seat next to you. He cleared his throat, “Hey. Pretty interesting friend you have there.”

You snorted, “Tell me about it. You should see her sober, she’s still the same way.”

He laughed, “So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing sitting alone?”

Before you could answer, you heard the bar erupt in whistles and clapping. You didn’t even have to turn your head to know who had walked in. Josh glanced over your shoulder, getting a view of the team himself. His focus came back to you when you tilted your head to interrupt his view. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. But to answer your question, I’m just here because I’m pissed at my boyfriend.”

You noticed his face drop before returning to the way it was before, “No way. I’m here because I’m pissed at my girlfriend!”

Your eyes widened at his confession, letting out a small chuckle. “Yikes, you’re an asshole.”

“Yeah?” He propped his arm on the bar, “How are you not?”

“Well for starters, I’m not approaching anyone. Second, my boyfriend just got here, so he knows where I am. And it doesn’t take a genius to know that your girlfriend has no idea where you are.” You answered, seeing the team take a seat at the tables next to where you were sitting.

As Josh sat in front of you, stunned at your words, you caught your boyfriend's eyes. He took a double take, not realizing it was you the first time. You looked away, bringing your attention back to the man in front of you as Quinn kept his on you.

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Josh asked.

You smirked slightly, “Quinn Hughes.

Josh’s eyes widened, “Bullshit.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer so you could talk in his ear and look over it to lock eyes with Quinn. “Don’t believe me? You’ll see who walks over to you when I leave.”

You backed up and got off your stool, heading to the bathroom as you kept eye contact with your boyfriend as you passed him. After you did, you heard him get up, his footsteps going the opposite way from where you were heading.

~

“What the fuck was that,” Quinn grumbled as he got into his car.

You shrugged your shoulders, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Quinn scoffed, “This is fucking gold, Y/N. You were all over my ass for doing the same shit on Tuesday, but when you do it’s all good.”

“Yeah, no. See, the difference between what I did tonight and what you did earlier this week is that I actually wasn’t flirting, I just wanted you to see what it was like to feel how I did when I saw you actually flirting with someone else.” You retorted, knowing how ridiculous the words coming out of your mouth sounded to him.

Yet on some level, Quinn knew you were right. He sighed before reaching over the center console to take hold of your hand. 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sober, but I still knew what I was doing. I don’t want to lose you over this, so please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” He whispered.

You turned to look at him, “You like being my boyfriend?”

He nodded.

“Then don’t lie to me.”

Boy, it's not that complicated

You should stay in my good graces

Or I'll switch it up like that so fast

'Cause no one's more amazin'

At turnin' lovin' into hatred x2

I won't give a fuck about you x3

That was cool

I won't give a fuck about you (Oh) x3

Yeah

“She’s the last person I’d want to piss off,” Jack told his brother over the phone as Quinn finished up telling him the whole bar fiasco the two of you had gone through a month ago. 

“Tell me about it. I’m not just saying this because she’s my girlfriend, but she’s literally always right. It’s getting scary.” Quinn confessed, pulling his car into the parking garage of the apartment complex.

Jack sighed, “Well, shit. Good luck with that, bro. Lukey’s calling you later, I gotta go.” 

Quinn said goodbye to his brother, hanging up the phone as he stepped out of his car, grabbing the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you for no reason. After the whole situation, he knew he couldn’t only make it up with verbal apologies. So he went old-school, settling for getting you flowers whenever he felt like they were needed. 

He stepped into the elevator, rocking back and forth on his heels as he reached your floor, walking out the second the doors opened. 

As he unlocked the front door of your shared apartment, he could hear you talking in the kitchen. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. I didn’t want to forgive him, but he’s making up for it.” You said to whoever you were talking to over the phone. 

Quinn stepped in quietly, your back still turned and your AirPods in your ears as you cooked dinner for the two of you. Still unbeknownst to you, Quinn walked to the hallway across from the kitchen, wanting to hear your conversation. 

Was it wrong to eavesdrop on you? Yes. Did Quinn know this? Also yes. Did he care? Not really. 

You let out a sigh, “Listen. He knows better than to do that to me. He also knows that I’m the last person he wants to fuck with because I can switch up incredibly fast. If he wants to cheat on me, he can go right ahead. But he knows damn well I’ll be out replacing him that same night.”

His face dropped. He knew that you were telling the truth, which is what scared him straight. 

“I don’t give a fuck if he wants to go out with Bella Hadid. If he does that without breaking up with me, I’m going straight to his mother and maybe even social media if I’m feeling petty enough.” You laughed, but there was nothing you were joking about. 

By now, Quinn wanted to ignore any woman that came his way.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love him so much. So much to the point where I would get down on my knee and propose to him. But, if so much as lies to me about anyone or anything, he’s gonna need a good lawyer.”

I'll tell the world you finish your chores prematurely

Quinn lined himself up in between your legs, pushing into you completely in one swift movement. You let out a breathy moan as your nails dug into his biceps. He didn’t move, letting not only you but himself adjust to the feeling. 

“Fuck, Q. You feel so good.” You mumbled, your brain foggy from the feeling of him being buried inside of you.

He mumbled something you didn’t quite understand before pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back into you completely. He did this a few more times before letting out a guttural groan, spilling into you.

This caught you completely off guard. Quinn had never finished this quickly before nor had he cum before you did. When he came to, he realized what had happened.

“Shit.” He mumbled, too embarrassed to move or even look you in the eyes.

You cleared your throat, pressing a soft kiss to kiss lips. “It’s fine, babe.” You pushed his body back, pushing him out of you. “I can just use my hand.”

He shook his head, finding his voice once again. “No, let me do it. I don’t- I don’t know what happened.”

Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on

With your favorite athlete

Shoot his shot every night

Want you every second, don't need other guys

You were scrolling on your phone, swiping up on all the notifications you were getting from Instagram, seeing as you had just posted. 

Quinn was featured in a few of the pictures, drawing the attention of his friends and fans to your account. Your head was propped up on Quinn’s lap as you lay on the couch as he played his video game on the living room TV. 

One notification caught your eye as you furrowed your eyebrows seeing the DM request that had come through. 

‘rjosi90 wants to send you a message.’

“Hey babe? Who’s this?” You asked, turning your phone around to show him the account.

He paused his game, looking down to look. “You don’t know who Roman Josi is? He was that guy you met at the awards ceremony, remember?”

“Oh! The one you never shut up about!” You teased as soon as you remembered the name.

Quinn rolled his eyes, nodding at your words before resuming his game but keeping his attention on your conversation. “What did he send you?”

You opened the message, your eyes widening as you internally debated on telling him the truth, not knowing how he would react. But, you knew you wouldn’t want him lying to you if he got the same message from another woman, so you decided to be honest.

“He said he thinks I’m pretty and that you’re a lucky guy.” You read, eyes quickly flashing back to Quinn.

His cheeks were red and his eyebrows were knitted together. You looked at his hands, which were now gripping his controller so tight that his knuckles were going white. “Are you gonna respond?”

Hesitantly, you shook your head, “Not if you don’t want me to.” 

Quinn had never been an insecure person, but he wasn’t always confident. And your delayed reaction probably didn’t help. You let out a breath before grabbing the controller out of his grip and setting it to the side. 

You sat up, swinging your legs on either side of his lap and taking his face in between your hands. “Hey. I want you. Only you.”

You pressed a kiss on his lips which he barely returned out of his own frustration. Pulling back, you started to litter kisses all over his face in an attempt to cheer him up. Trailing from his lips to his cheeks, then to his jaw, and stopping on his neck. You sucked on a sweet spot that caused his hands to come up and settle on your hips. 

“I don’t want anyone but you, Quinn.”

You do somethin' sus, kiss my cute ass bye

As you stepped into his room, he quickly shut off his phone and turned it face down. You furrowed your eyebrows as you stood in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting something?” You questioned.

He shook his head rapidly, clearing his throat as he rubbed his hands together before walking over to you. “Just caught me off guard.”

You scanned his face. His cheeks were flushed and his face was sweaty. Not wanting the answer you thought it was, you gave him a look before speaking again. “Was just gonna ask if you wanted to watch a movie with me. But if you’re… busy, I can just watch it by myself.” 

Quinn cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. Let me just do something really quick and I’ll be right out.”

You simply shook your head, walking out of his room and heading back to your room and laying down on your bed with your laptop in front of you as you curled up in a blanket waiting for your boyfriend.

Even though the two rooms were separated by a small hallway, the walls were still relatively thin. You heard his door open and close but his feet remained still. You could hear the noise of his phone keyboard in front of your door, typing one last thing out before he walked into your room.

“So what movie are we watching, pretty girl?” He asked, setting his phone on your bedside table.

You eyed his phone before looking at him, “Everything okay?” 

He gave you a confused look, “Yeah, why?”

“Sounded like you were typing something important.” You shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of what could be nothing.

But, his wide eyes told you everything you needed to know. You sat up, raising your eyebrows in a way that said “Tell me what’s going on.”

Quinn shifted on his feet. “My ex texted me. She was saying she wanted to meet me for dinner and…” He cut himself off.

“And what?” You pressed.

“She wants to try again.”

You scoffed, “Okay. What did you say?”

He took a breath before answering, “I told her about us and that I’ll pass on the dinner because I’m very happy with you.” The way his words came out, you didn’t fully believe him. Yet at the same time, his face and body language told you he was telling the truth. You could tell he was nervous telling you, but you knew he wasn’t lying.

You nodded your head, “Okay.”

“Okay? What does that mean? I can show you the texts if you want!” He rambled.

Pulling him down onto the bed with you, you wrapped the blanket around him as well before setting the laptop in a way where you could both see it while lying down.

“I trust you, Q. If you say that’s what you told her, I believe you.” You whispered.

Boy, it's not that complicated

You should stay in my good graces

Or I'll switch it up like that so fast

'Cause no one's more amazin'

At turnin' lovin' into hatred x2

I won't give a fuck about you x3

Oh, no

I won't give a fuck about you (Oh) x3 

Oh

No, I won't

I won't give a fuck about you, no, I won't

(I won't, I won't, I won't) x2

Quinn sat in the parking lot of Roger’s Arena. You had driven home early, wanting to beat the traffic seeing as the score by the middle of the third period was 0-4. 

The loss of the game and your going home early left Quinn thinking. 

You didn’t need him. 

Sure, you loved him and you loved living with him and the company and affection he gave you, but at the end of the day, you were completely fine being alone. 

The realization had Quinn wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks as he started up the engine of his car. He drove back in silence, hoping you’d be showering and in bed by the time he got home. 

As he focused on the scenery around him in the late hours of the night, that feeling of sadness fizzled into a feeling of relief. If for whatever reason Quinn left you, you would be okay. And now that he understood that, he became even more determined not to lose you.

Because regardless, Quinn Hughes didn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t his.

[strawbabycowboy]

i left the floor today for a personal convo, and then lied abt it to my manager - who immediately called me on it. because he saw me leave . and while im like i shouldn’t have lied, absolutely, why didn’t you just ask me . why i left the floor during a busy time, and reprimand me from there? like , i realise you wanted to see if i would lie, but then you just made me panic .

[hotchfiles]

↪ DANIEL 12:1 ─ chapter two.

AN IN NOMINE PATRIS, ET FILII, ET SPIRITUS SANCTI INSTALLMENT

pairing: hotch x fem!consultant!reader. summary: murders committed using catholic symbology gets emily to convince hotch it's time to ask for an expert. luckily for you, you're the expert. content warnings: canon typical violence. religious themes. spoilers to season 4. mature themes. mentions of throwing up. word count: 1.2K

      At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered.

      He didn’t reply to your question, how could he? What type of person asks another if they believe in God after an hour of meeting each other? How could he answer a question he himself wasn’t sure if there was an answer to?

      Did he believe in God? What god? His mother’s, the one who allowed her to drink her feelings and spit it out in form of insults and violence towards her family? The one that allowed his father to die of cancer? The one that didn’t do anything to stop the sick men and women Hotch had to catch every week?

      He shakes his head, trying to get his thoughts back to the case presented now in the board of the DC precinct but his eyes land on you, the way your foot shakes, up and now, your legs crossed, your fingers tapping the table quickly and with a rhythm of their own, your bottom lip would bleed out if you kept chewing on them, but what he noticed most were your eyes, wide and focused on the board with all the pictures from the crimes, even the ones Emily hadn’t sent you.

      This was the reason bringing outside people was not a good idea. Not everyone is prepared to deal with death, horrific deaths at that, the way the BAU members were. You clearly weren’t. He might’ve asked you how you were once more, but as quick as he thought about it, you two weren’t alone anymore as the lead detective and Emily came into the room.

      “They were drugged but could feel everything.” The words ring inside your ears, loud and repetitive like a beating heart. Your heart. Your mouth waters in a way you know too well and you feel your palms clamming.

      You’re going to be sick.

      You give the room half a smile and a nod, quietly excusing yourself from the others while making the effort not to make a scene, but you’re barely able to see where you’re going as you try to reach the bathroom.

      Something tells you you’ve done a good job at being discreet, even if you weren’t able to conceal the awful sounds coming from your throat, the light breakfast you had suddenly not seeming very light. It’s probably the fact no one knows you, or maybe because everyone else is busy trying to solve a goddamn murder case.

      The thoughts in your head were quickly brushed over when you heard someone clear their throat, a light knock on the door of the stall you were kneeling at. Your body reacts fast, holding the door with your palms even though it was locked.

      “Sorry, occupied.” Your voice in rough from putting it through too much, but you stay polite regardless.

      “Are you alright?” There is genuine concern in his, it keeps any shame from creeping up on you.

      “Mr. Hotchner! I’m okay… I ate something bad, it’s alright.” The lie comes without a second thought, but it’s obvious he doesn’t buy it. You get up quickly, opening the door as an attempt to leave the situation behind along with the contents you just flushed down.

      “No one expects you to react to these like we do.” His eyes are piecing and you swallow dry, nodding in understanding and thankfulness, but unable to say much else. “I will leave you to it, we are going through the files again, if you need anything, you can text me.” Hotch hands you his card, realizing you don’t really have his number and stands to his word, leaving you alone.

      Truthfully, he’s not sure what made him follow you to the bathrooms, possibly the fact Emily didn’t seem to notice the way your lips had gotten devoid of color or maybe it was just in his nature to care for others, fascinating alike you or not.

      It doesn’t take you too long to go back to the conference room the team was set, only some minutes to wash your mouth and your face, a few deep breaths to control your heart rate.

      “So the motive isn’t religious?” You hear a police officer ask as soon as you get back.

      “It has religious elements but the message doesn’t seem religious.” You smile to yourself as Emily speaks, fascinated by her quickness to get into work mode, to get into the mind of who was doing all of that.

      “It‘s about punishment.” Hotch repeats your earlier insight, it makes you feel useful, and smart. You knew you were intelligent, brightly so, but having something you said be important in something so big as an investigation was… Different.

      “And how is that not religious?”

      “Punishment coming from a religious motive would probably include whipping and at the most extreme, burning. The use of the cross pose seems purposeful, it is a punishment, a shameful one, but also, there’s some… Status to it, because it was how Jesus was killed.” You can be heard by everyone, but your focus is again on the pictures, your finger quietly drawing invisible crosses along the table. “I guess it can be another way to allude to Catholicism, like Saint Michael, they are the religion with the biggest attachment to the image of Christ in the cross. But then again, it doesn’t have any other aspect of Christ’s crucifixion.”

      No one has the time to reply to your rambling, a loud ringtone interrupting the brainstorming, Hotch answers, promptly putting the call on speaker.

      “The widow was no help, she is shaken up and has no idea who would want to kill her husband.” Derek sounds defeated, “And Hotch, he wasn‘t religious.”

      “Mrs. Beckett said she tried to bring him to mass countless times during their marriage but he always vehemently refused to.” Spencer’s voice is higher in pitch but he sounds intrigued, deep in thought.

      “Alright, come back to the precinct, we are waiting for Rossi and JJ and beginning to create a geographical profile.”

      Your puzzled look doesn’t last long, as the team present begins pinning on a map the victim’s homes and where they were found.

      “No churches near the warehouses, but two near Monica Dawson’s place.” Emily comments first looking at the red pins.

      The phone rings again and you wonder if they don’t get headaches from that sound coming out of nowhere all day, but the sweetest and most cheerful voice you ever heard comes on speaker, Garcia, and you smile involuntarily.

      “Garcia, any leads?”

      “You know I do, my darling sweet boss—”

      “Don’t call me that.”

      “Fine, sweet sir, both warehouses are pretty much truly abandoned, but I sniffed around, and by that I mean I went far far back and found some documents I maybe shouldn’t be sniffing around—”

      “Garcia.” You hold in a laugh at the interaction and the supposedly threatening tone Hotch was using.

      “Both were used for military training, like… SEAL type of military.”

      There is a bit of an awkward silence before Hotch thanks and dismisses her, with the mission to find records of everyone who were apart of those trainings.

      “If we’re dealing with a Navy SEAL…” Emily’s voice is a whisper you’ve never heard before.

      “Things might get ugly. We need to be fast.” Hotch’s shows more confidence, but he is worried and as you realize seconds later when an officer barges in, he has every reason to.

      “There’s been another one.”

[georgiapeach30513]

Two Good Reasons, Part 4

Summary: it is time

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: mature

Warnings:  language, sweet Ransom, difficulties with divorce, Scott, difficult conversations, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 8.1K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“Ransom,” the man rolls his eyes as Andy walks into his office foyer. Ransom was trying to talk to you, well, you are trying to talk to him about his messages from when he was in court. Of course your annoying boyfriend or whatever he is would come in and interrupt. “I need to speak to your office manager,” you playfully snort, while Ransom’s face falls flat. His eyes narrow at Andy. “Please.”

“I don’t want this to become a habit,” he tells Andy more than you. You aren’t the problem. Andy’s distraction and wandering eyes are the problem. “In fact, I never saw you venture this way much at all unless we needed to discuss a case. And now, you can’t stay away from my part of the office building.”

“It seems a fair trade off since I, the district attorney, come to your office for meetings. If you’d prefer, we can start conducting the meetings on the other side of the building.”

“Five minutes.”

“Ten.”

“Eight,” Ransom counters before Andy gives a nod, and holds out his hand for you. Leave it to Andy to start inserting himself now. You follow him down the long hallway before he’s dragging you into his suite, and on back to his office. His office is more your typical lawyers office, while Ransom’s is immaculate and more ornate. Stark difference between the two best friends, or as they call it, colleagues.

Andy pulls you in for an embrace, in lieu of a kiss. His thick arms wrap around you so tight, and you sink into him. It had been a particularly rough night. Night’s before your babies go to Scott’s for the weekend often are. It’s a pure terror and worry about what could happen, especially given the last time.

“You seem tense,” he says as he pulls back. “Your messages indicate that as well.”

“You’re almost too observant, you know that?” It was his job to be observant, but you aren’t one of his cases.

“And you’re avoiding my question.”

“It wasn’t a question, Andrew, that was a statement,” he sighs, pulling you back into him. Andy starts swaying the two of you to nonexistent music. Resting his face in the crook of your neck. He inhales your sweet scent deeply. If only things concerning Scott weren’t stressful, you could fully enjoy this moment.

“You can trust me to tell me,” he ends his words with a quick kiss on your sensitive skin. This is Andy, you could trust him. He’s not just any man, he’s your Andy. You just fear he’s going to try to fix everything, and unfortunately you didn’t see this being fixed.

“It was a rough night,” he hums, letting you know he is listening, but wants more. “It’s Scott’s weekend, and every time it’s his weekend, I’m left wondering how present he’s going to be. If his stupid bimbo will be there. Will they go against my wishes and she brings her damn cat around my baby? Will he come back home to me, and I have to go through his breathing treatments again? I fear that his apartment isn’t as safe for him. That cat is just one allergy, but what if my baby eats something, and Scott or Taylor don’t react fast enough?”

Your breath is so ragged as you cling to him. When was the last time you had someone just be there? Even if Andy couldn’t fix anything, just having that support is comforting. Scott was there, but was he ever there just for you? Andy doesn’t have to say anything, there’s nothing he can do. But him just being there means everything. Just to have a support system in what feels like years is a relief. Realizing you didn’t have that when you and Scott were together makes you feel stupid. You stayed, and you didn’t have this.

“Doe, I’m sorry,” he doesn’t have to be sorry, but there is a tone in his voice that shows you how sincere he is. “Tell me what you want me to do, and I will.”

“Could we just go to your place?”

“Your place is closer to Scott’s though, isn’t it?” It is. But…, “Wouldn’t it be better to be at your place in case of an emergency? We could get there faster?” True, but you didn’t want him to know that you didn’t sleep in your room. You didn’t care if Andy stayed at your house all weekend, but the embarrassment is already hitting that he’s going to see you avoid going into that room.

“You’re right,” of course he’s right, but your feelings aren’t wrong. They were right, too. Too soon your phone vibrates, and it’s probably Ransom telling you that eight minutes is up, and yes, you know. But you needed this moment, and little talk. Grabbing your phone, you answer it quickly, “Hello?!”

“Mrs. Huffman,” you hate that name with a passion, “Umm, I’m calling because it appears that someone forgot to pick up the kids.”

“What?” Anger laces through your one word question. Today is your late day working. Because you said you could. And Scott forgets the kids?

“Yeah, I know you said that it was Mr. Huffman’s day to get them this morning, but he’s not answering his phone,” you glance up at Andy who is looking at you with so much concern. “Can…”

“I’ll be right there,” she thanks you before you hang up the phone. “Scott didn’t pick up the kids. But…”

“Just bring them back here,” he’s joking. He’s got to be joking. “Listen, it’s Friday, Ransom doesn’t have any cases, and neither do I. We give that to the second ADA. Afterwards if Scott still hasn’t reached out, we’ll go take them to get dinner, and soft play. Audrey seems very concerned with that.”

“Andy…”

“Come on, let’s tell Ransom. You gotta get the kids,” obviously you had to get them. It’s bringing them back here that’s got you a bit paranoid. “It’ll be fine. They’ll be fine. We’ve got a fridge stocked with snacks. While you’re gone I’ll put any snack that Suede is allergic to up in a basket, and out of reach of him. And don’t you dare ask why I’m being nice. You need it. Go on, run and get the kids, I’ll let Ransom know what’s up.”

Standing on your tiptoes, you give him a chaste kiss in thanks before going to get your things, while Andy goes back to Ransom’s part of the office building. His friend and colleague glares at him. “I send you off with my office manager, and you return solo.”

“Scott forgot to pick up the kids,” Ransom groans, “She’s going to get them.”

“Today was her late day.”

“And she’s bringing them back here,” another groan. “Would you quit being so dramatic? They’re good kids. You won’t even notice them.”

“You’re getting involved,” Andy’s mouth curls up into a smile. “I told you not to get involved. This is the very opposite of not getting involved, Andy.”

“What was she supposed to do? He didn’t get her kids, they have to be picked up, it has to be her.”

“That’s not what I mean at all. I would have let her go, I’m not a monster,” he takes a slow calculated breath as he stares at Andy, “She’s the one, hmm? The one that got away. The one that made you never truly connect to other women? The reason that Penny or Melanie or whoever never worked out. You’re doing whatever you have to to make sure that she doesn’t get away again?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Ransom gives Andy one of his famous eye rolls. “I’m not a child. I know her, she knows me. So yeah, things are moving fast-ish. No, we haven’t slept together again. She needs friends. Her family isn’t anywhere near here, and even if she wanted to leave, she has this divorce,” Andy makes it sounds so much simpler than it is. Or maybe it’s because it is exactly this simple.

“Okay, Romeo. I’m just saying. She’s bringing them back here?” Andy smiles, nodding. He has to fix the snacks, and make sure everything is safe for Suede. “I don’t do kids.”

“Send them to my office if you have to,” Ransom was all bark, and no bite. He had no doubt that everything would be fine. And you wouldn’t be put in a bind. Yet, another thing you can add to your growing list of why Scott didn’t deserve full custody of your children.

Andy leans into Ransom’s waiting area, smiling to himself as you hold a slowly drifting asleep Suede in your lap. His face squished up against your chest while you type, and Audrey colors something on the floor. Laying on her belly with her tongue sticking out, and her knees kicking around. Andy clears his throat, and Audrey looks up at him with the biggest grin, “Andy! I wanted to see you.”

She leaves her coloring book behind as she jumps up from the floor and walks over to him, and Suede’s eyes burst open, “Na Na! Peas?” You can’t hide how happy you are for their excitement. Suede wiggles out of your arms, and Andy picks both kids up, and you gulp. Scott never quite gave you the tingling millions of butterflies in your belly just to see him hold onto your kids.

You aren’t sure how something can be both wholesome and sexy all at the same time. But the way his thick arms flex as he holds them has you feeling things, and the way he smiles at them has those butterfly wings flapping aggressively in your belly. Moments like these are so sweet and simple, and mean the world to you.

The way he gives each one attention, and not just your talkative girl. Asking them how their day was, and listening intently to every nonsensical word, and um that comes out of your baby boy’s mouth. He isn’t even looking at you for approval, he’s just being a normal father figure to them kids. This is how greetings with them after their day should be. When Audrey tries to interrupt, he tells her to wait her turn, looking at you to make sure it’s okay to correct her behavior and you nod. You hope that this isn’t an act, and you don’t feel it is. It’s natural.

How is it that a man that had no biological ties to these children can appreciate them more than their father? Scott wasn’t a terrible husband, when it was just the two of you. But his lack of involvement as a father was laughable. You were the woman, you were the one that took care of the house, and the children. All you wanted was a partner. Staring at Andy now makes you realize how wrong you chose, and just how long you made excuses for Scott.

“Andy,” Audrey finally gets his attention when Suede finishes. “If daddy doesn’t pick us up tonight, can you go eat with us? Mommy said we can eat at the pizza place, and and and go to soft play.”

Andy smiles. He starts to answer, but is distracted by a chubby little hand laying flat on his beard, and he turns to look at Suede, “Chess, pease,” you turn around quickly. You promised yourself that you’d never let your children see your emotions, but your chest fills with so much warmth and love. Feeling everything all at once. Suede only touched two people’s cheeks like that, and both you and Audrey are present. It’s like he has chosen another comfort.

You were told it could be a way for him to show comfortability and vulnerability, but he never did that with his dad. He never stayed in his dad’s arms for more than a few minutes before he was trying to reach towards you. Visiting Scott was the hardest on Suede. “Doe?”

“I’ve got to take something to Ransom. I’ll be back,” you grab some stupid piece of paper, and retreat from this. Trying to work through the emotions. On one hand you are a bit jealous that Suede found comfort in someone that isn’t you. On the other hand he had a man in his life that he trusts, and it is Andy. Your Andy.

“I need a snack.”

“Chess!”

“How does broccoli and ranch sound?” Audrey curls her lip, and Suede shakes his head no. “Well, I have you to know, that Sloane went and brought you back some safe food. And even apples.”

“Mmm, Appies!”

“With sun butter?” Andy nods, carrying the two of them to the break room. He looks back at you, and your back is still turned to him, still looking at a blank piece of paper, still bothered by something that transpired, and he can’t think of what. However, the kids were hungry, and they had to eat. He’ll come back and ask you about this later.

“Come on, it’s snack time, and then,” he lowers his voice, making it only audible for just Audrey and Suede, “I hear there’s a book about a little French girl in Sloane’s desk, you should ask her for it,” Audrey covers her mouth with her hand, giggling while she looks at Suede.

They sound so happy. You didn’t ask or beg Andy to spend time with them, he came to see them. He made sure that the unsafe foods were away from Suede. He was telling them secrets about the office. If you didn’t already have feelings for Andy that bordered on love — you’d have them now. You hated to admit that you still harbored feelings for him, but you did. And moments like these just made that blossom and get bigger until parts of you that felt so alone and hopeless, now feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel.

There was a hope that not only did your children not have to suffer, but you didn’t either. The feeling is like a hug. Simple, warm, loving, comforting, and the best thing in the world. It’s what a family should be, and should feel. Everyday is a new realization that you didn’t have these moments with your family.

“What are you doing?” Ransom asks, attempting to walk out of the door. “I don’t do tears.”

“It’s nothing.”

He blows out an exasperated puff of air. “Nothing doesn’t make you look so — weepy,” his voice is so flat, seemingly disinterested. “But if I can offer you some advice, you should trust him,” you furrow your brows as you look at him. There’s this part of you that doesn’t want to interrupt Andy and the kids, but you want to watch them. “He’s always wanted a family, and from the sounds of it, you’re the only woman he wanted it with. He doesn’t want to fuck it up, so he won’t. So let your walls down, and enjoy the moments. You’re used to his stubbornness and protectiveness, so…”

His voice trails off. He didn’t need to finish the sentence. So he won’t change. So there’s his flaw. So you’ll have to continue to deal with it. So now there’s little people for him to protect. “Oh, and Ray agreed to take your case,” that gets your attention. You straighten up. Ray would make a huge difference for you. Scott even mentioned Ray a few times during your marriage. “So…I don’t know, go make sure Barber isn’t poisoning the allergic one.”

That’s about as soft as you are going to get with Ransom, and you know it. But a quick little break to make sure ‘the allergic one’ is not being fed something he shouldn’t have, would not hurt. Ransom meant well, and you’re so thankful for him. But not as thankful as Audrey jumping up and down at Andy’s feet, while he holds Suede, squinting as he reads the ingredients on the back of a box.

“It’s a safe food,” you answer softly, and he lowers the packet of fruit snacks to Audrey. Suede gives him a little pout, but Andy is quick to grab his own pack, and open it for him.

“Go ask Sloane for her book,” he tells the two of them before they run off, and you immediately circle your arms around his waist. You couldn’t help a hug, and a quick peck to his lips, “What’s this for?”

“For being you,” his lips turn up in a smile, and he reminds you of the way he looked when he was younger. There were more freckles that dotted over his nose, and more wrinkles around his eyes. He is thicker in the best way, a luscious full beard, but the best parts of him are still the same. “I’m serious. You’re amazing with them, and I thank you for learning.”

“You gave Sloane a list of safe foods, didn’t you?” Nodding you stand on your tippy toes for another too quick kiss. Seeing him reading the back of that box was oddly sexy. You don’t regret not telling him that Sloane made a quick trip to the store, and you need to pay her for that. You could look at this man reading the ingredients daily because it was…breathtaking. The older you get, the more things of attractiveness changes. This wasn’t one you saw happening until it did.

“No word from Scott?”

“No. I’m sure he’s in court or something. I get used to not relying on him,” Andy searches your face, contemplating how to respond to that. You shouldn’t have to be used to it. That shouldn’t be normal. “It’s fine.”

“How often was it just you and the kids waiting on him?” You shrug. You didn’t want this conversation. You didn’t want to dwell in the past. Didn’t want to think of how much you let things slide with Scott because you felt you needed to make your marriage work, and he was still the one that stepped out on your family.

“I should really make sure the kids are okay,” if Andy could wrap you in a tight cocoon and make you see what you deserved, he would. He wants you to see your value to his life because to him you and the kids were not a burden. You know you’re a good mom, but did you know you are a good partner?

“I’m going to guess we’ll have the kids for dinner though,” we. He loves hearing you say we, especially when they’re involved. If he could fully take Scott out of the equation, he would. Not only did he not deserve them, or your kindness, Andy didn’t mind having them always around.

He definitely didn’t mind people making comments about what a beautiful family he had. Or even that his son looked just like him, and how he’s so good with them. He didn’t want to correct them. People never questioned it because that’s exactly what you were becoming. He knows he should slow down, and not get too attached or ahead of himself. Not growing up with a father himself, he’s always craved a son where he could be the dad that he wanted.

He sighs, it would only be a matter of time before Scott completely lost interest. Men like him only wanted to use the kids as a weapon for you. He was using custody as a way for you to worry. Asserting his dominance wherever he could. Prick. He’s an asshole. He just hopes that Scott sees who has been spending time with his kids, and just how happy they are, and their mama.

—

Ransom slumps down into his chair, hands reaching towards a file on his desk when he hears tittering, and he bends at his waist to look under his desk, “What are you doing down there?”

Audrey giggles, popping another fruit chew in her mouth, and then a third hand points at the book that’s in her lap. Suede peeks his body around his sister’s smiling up at the man, “I’m not doing a very good job at reading. There’s lots of words.”

“Chess.”

Ransom smiles, nodding his head, “You like to play chess?”

“No no, that um — that’s how he says yes. He says it a lot. It’s easy for him. Tell him Suedey.”

“Chess,” his hand presses over his mouth and he giggles, having to sit up and hold his tummy with how much he is laughing. They are cute kids, even if Ransom doesn’t do kids.

“See, mister. He loves it. Do you think you can read this book for us,” the barely visible smile on Ransom’s face fades, and his head slightly shakes no, “I can’t read, and my mommy is working, and,” she crawls out from under the desk, laying the book on the shiny wood of Ransom’s ostentatious desk.

“Do you think mommy can take us to Paris one day?” Audrey places a hand under the desk, helping her brother up, and Suede places two arms up to Ransom. “He wants you to hold him. You can say no,” Ransom takes a moment to ponder before lifting the toddler up into his lap, but Audrey stands beside him, opening up the book to the first page.

“It has a lot of words,” her finger drags under the words, and Ransom stares at her curiously. Even though she is tiny, you can see her squinting, and sounding out a few of the letters. Reminds him of his childhood, a boy too young, forced to be above children his age academically. “Would Andy take us to Paris with mommy?”

How is he even supposed to answer that? He could put a bug in Andy’s ear that she wants to go to Paris. He could ask Andy to take her to a French restaurant, but he can’t possibly say that he would take them and their mom. “Do you like Andy?”

“Chess.”

“Uh huh. Mommy smiles when he’s around,” the little girl turns to look at Ransom, and he’s shocked by how much she looks like you, especially in the eyes. The exact shape, and even the different flecks of colors. “Is Andy like Taylor is to daddy?”

“I don’t know what that means,” he turns his head to see the little boy smiling at him. He lifts his chunky little hand, and slightly touches his cheek before moving it back down to his lap and giggles at Ransom. “What do you mean by your question?”

“I think Andy wants to kiss mommy,” it is a simple enough sentence that holds a lot more weight than she realizes. Ransom smiles, shrugging at her. “She didn’t smile with daddy like she does with Andy,” Audrey turns to look at Ransom, smiling at him, and then her brother. “I like him, too. But can you read this?” Her little chubby finger taps on the book a bit aggressively, “I’m sorry, booky. Please, Ansom?”

“Ransom.”

“I said that.”

“Ann!” Suede throws both arms in the hair, and giggles. “Ann!”

“Is he always like this?” Audrey covers her hand with her mouth, giggling again, and she nods. “Fine. Let’s read the Paris book,” he clears his throat, making both kids giggle once more. “In an old house in Paris that was covered in vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines.”

“Ran,” opening the door, you stop abruptly, and all three of them look up at you. “Oh, I was wondering where you two were. Come on, we should leave Ransom alone,” all three pout. Even Ransom, confusing you immensely. He told you he didn’t do kids. He didn’t hate them, but didn’t want to be around them. And now he’s reading to them with Suede and his sticky fingers in his lap.

“They're fine. Maybe bring some popcorn in here or something?” Audrey shakes her head no. “Why not?”

“We’ll choke,” she deadpans. “Those scratchy things in the middle. Andy buys us the puffy ones, so we don’t have to worry about choking.”

“Does he? That Andy sure does try to make life easier,” clearing your throat, Ransom looks up at you smiling. “We’re reading about the Paris girl. I think Audrey and Suede deserve macarons.”

“Suede can’t. There’s eggs,” Audrey beat you to it. She is his little keeper, and so protective of him. You are sure she keeps Scott in line with him, even if it isn’t her job. “Mommy, did daddy call?” You shake your head no, thinking she’s going to be sad. “Oh yay! So Andy is taking us to pizza and soft play for sure?”

“We’ll see. Read your Paris girl book. It won’t be long until it’s leaving time. And behave. You want me to leave the door open, Ransom?” He shakes his head, and shoos you out the door. You did not see this happening. Ransom said he didn’t care much for kids, and here he is being all sweet and loving with yours. You wouldn’t tell him, but it suited him, even if it was just as the fun uncle that could give them back at the end of the day.

Even though Scott brought you out here away from your friends and family, you feel the need to give him a quick and silent thank you. It brought you to Andy, and now it appears you are growing an inner circle. People to rely on. People you can trust with your kids. People that don’t look at them like a burden. People that cared. What felt like your world had ended, just ensured a new start that you needed.

“Suede,” your little boy quickly sits down in his seat, offering a sweet smile to Andy. He had already been told once not to stand up in the seat. Andy’s voice is soft, but stern enough that Suede knows he needs to keep his bottom in the seat. “Thank you.”

“Chess,” he holds up his hand out for Andy who fists bumps him in return. Blinking his eyes hard at him before smiling up at you. Leaning in for a hug.

“Was your dinner good, buddy?”

“Chess,” Andy questioned you with the pizza at first, until you told him about this place that was very accommodating for Suede’s allergies. Suede turns to look at Andy, but his eyes go upwards instead. A moment of unease flashes in his eyes, and he leans into your body, “Mama, no.”

Following his eyesight, you catch Scott freeze, seeing the back of Andy’s head, and Audrey sitting beside him. He never looks like he's in a good mood, but now he’s completely unsavory. “What’s going on?”

“Daddy,” Audrey looks at you, and then up at Andy, her happy face now looking sad. “Uhh, Andy is taking us to soft play.”

“Daddy is really tired, and they’re closed. I need to talk with you outside,” he gives a point towards you. Of course he needs to talk to you. Showing up unannounced, and Andy is with you. His nostrils flare a moment with the impending anger that’s lighting up his face. Talk really means he wants to berate you.

“It’s not closed, we saw it. Andy said…”

“Audrey,” while he doesn’t yell, his voice raises, and you grit your teeth. Friday night, and they were looking forward to fun. Leave it to Scott to be a disappointment. Again. Wiping your hands on your napkin, you grab up Suede, handing him over to Andy.

“What the hell are you doing?” Scott turns to look at you as Andy pulls Suede out of your arms. It is becoming harder and harder not to want to scream at him, especially when he uses foul language in front of the children.

“You wanted to talk to me. So Andy can stay with the kids,” the man that has spent every single evening with you and the kids, stares up at you. His free hand rubs up your thigh, and he offers a sad smile, “I’ll be right back,” and his eyes move over to Scott, nodding his hey.

Oh he’s angry. Not nearly as angry as you are for his five hour late pickup. Didn’t even tell you he was coming, just showed up. You can see how angry he is as you follow him to the parking lot. You don’t like to compare the two, but Andy would never deny fun for the kids. He had a long tiring day as well.

You’re barely out of the restaurant when Scott rounds towards you, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Feeding our children dinner since you were late.”

“I was working, and you know exactly what I mean,” you blink slowly. If he wants to say something, he can, but you won’t be offering up any information. “Fucking Andy Barber? The damn DA, is this some competition,” you scoff, there was never a competition. “And you left our kids with him.”

“So you wanted them to hear you talk like this to me?” Scott sighs. You knew he wouldn’t answer the question. You’re always the one that is wrong, while he’s always the one that is wronged in some way. “What do you want to talk about?”

“You sure did move on fast?” You laugh at him, shaking your head as you turn to walk back inside. The audacity. He was moving on and the two of you were very much together. You didn’t have a say in the matter when he was laying underneath the damn babysitter. “Did you ever love me?”

“You were the one that cheated, Scott. You came home early, so you could fuck our babysitter in our bed. Did you even think about me? Or about how our daughter would feel? Suede is too young to understand, but Audrey knows you left her mom to be with the babysitter. Love was never our strong suit though, was it?” The stronger your love for Andy grows, the more you realized Scott and you had been going through the motions. Was there ever any love?

Rolling your eyes, you turn away from him. If this is the only conversation he wants to have, it’s useless. You’re doing nothing wrong. You hadn’t even slept with Andy since that first night. And even if you did, you two were legally separated and going through a divorce. “Suede could be older and still wouldn’t understand.”

“What did you say?” don’t turn around, and don’t look at him. He makes you sick.

“You heard me,” no, you’re not quite you did.

“And what do you mean by that?”

“He’s never going to be as advanced as Audrey,” if it wouldn’t hurt your case for custody, you’d claw his eyes out. If he wants to blame you for the marriage failing, you don't care, but to say one damn thing about your child is another thing. “You coddle him.”

“I hate you,” always your fault. Suede’s ‘delays’ as Scott called them, will forever be your fault. He was supposed to be his ‘boy’ and now he looks at your son like he’s a mistake. A failure. And he’s two.

“Feeling’s mutual, sweetheart. Now let me get my kids from your dildo.”

“Why are you so mean to him? Why do you put so much pressure on your son? He’s a baby.”

“No, he’s not,” you have to look at him now. You need to understand why he can’t just be happy with who Suede is, instead of trying to make him who he wants him to be.

“He just turned two. He is a baby. He wears diapers, his vocabulary is improving, but he is a baby. If you — if you don’t want him why do you insist on full custody? Why do you rip him out of my arms, crying, if you don’t want him? You don’t even like him. I’m not even sure you like Audrey. This a damn power grab, you’re using my babies as a weapon to hurt me. Just leave him with me and…”

“Go on, say it. Andy. Is he enjoying the bed that I fucked that baby boy in you in? You want to act like he’s so fucking grand. Sloppy damn seconds,” you take a deep breath in, wondering how he views you as sloppy seconds but not himself. Or even if Taylor is someone’s sloppy seconds. Pig. “Just trying to replace me because I left you. You even went after a goddamn lawyer,” of course he’d hit you with low blows, and as much as it infuriates you, it hurts more how he is with your baby.

“Answer the questions. You’re changing the subject, and I’m talking about our son. If you don’t want my baby, and he’s so difficult with his allergies, and his separation anxiety, then leave him with his mom!”

“You created a monster! Taylor can’t even deal with him most of the time because all he says is ‘chess’ or ‘my mama at’. Separation anxiety? No, you baby the boy, and made him rely on you so you think it’ll give you a leg to stand on with custody. Audrey was never that difficult, hell she was potty trained at his age. She’s starting to read now. And he’s…”

“He’s a fucking baby, Scott! Just let him stay with me, please!” You’re not above begging when it comes to your children, especially if Scott is getting them when he’s angry.

“No. Because if he stays with you then Audrey — you know how she is with her brother. They don’t like to be separated,” it’s always about the easy child. His pride and joy. The one he whispered to her about how she would become a lawyer someday. Another thing that annoyed you, pressure on a four year old. “They both are coming with me, as per our agreement. So let me get my kids.”

“Can you at least take them to the soft play, and trampolines for thirty minutes?”

“What is the damn deal with soft play? That’s all they ever want to do.”

“Because they’re kids, and they have fun! They want to play with their dad, is that such a wrong thing?” You turn into the restaurant, watching Andy calmly talk to your world. Such a beautiful picture in contrast to what their parents are doing outside. Suede lifts his chubby little hand, and holds it against Andy’s cheek, petting his beard. He waits until Andy smiles at him before pulling it away, and he snuggles into his chest. That was a father’s love. Not whatever the hell Scott is doing.

Despite what Scott wants to imply, there’s nothing wrong with Suede. His learning is delayed compared to Audrey’s, but from his doctors to his teachers, he is just a normal little boy. There’s a sadness that wraps around you knowing that Suede has more comfort with Andy than his own father. A man he’s known his whole life is nothing compared to the man that he barely knows.

“Does Andy play with them?” you look at Scott, and for the first time in a long time, there’s a sadness in his eyes, but it flares back into his competitive composure. If he is so concerned with Andy and the kids, he’s the only one that can fix it. It wasn’t Andy’s problem.

“We both do,” you answer solemnly before opening the door to the restaurant. You aren’t going to listen to him bully you or speak ill of his son anymore. You want him to suffer with the reality that his son is already replacing him with a man that is paying attention to him. You and Andy hadn’t been doing, whatever this is, long, and already Suede treated him like his father.

“Come on,” you try to smile as you reach for Suede. “It’s time to go to daddy’s house.”

“Mama, no,” this is the part that breaks you every time. Hearing him beg you not to make him go to his dad’s grinds your soul in half. You hate thinking that he may blame you, may think you’ve abandoned him. So instead, you just don’t look into his eyes.

“Audrey, grab your coloring sheet if you want to,” she reaches for her sheet as you grab up Suede, and she and Andy scoot out of the booth. Andy has never been part of a switch between you and Scott. It’s also why you preferred he picked them up from daycare. The extra hours with you made things difficult for them to leave. It’s him leaving you that seems to be the issue.

“Mama, no,” you can’t even meet his eyes as he touches your cheek. You know Scott didn’t hurt Suede. You also know he didn’t enjoy him or appreciate him, and with Audrey it is nonstop pressure to read, and write, and whatever thing he felt like she needed to be ahead for. Audrey has to be the best academically, and judging by the earlier conversation, he has no faith in Suede.

“Mama, pease!” He sniffles, cuddling into your chest, and you kiss on top of his head. Bit by bit part of your heart crumbles. The part that you gave your children, and it’s every other weekend. Audrey grabs Andy’s hand as you walk back outside. Getting an eye roll from Scott as soon as he sees Andy with his prized possession. His daughter. “Mama, no,” the first sign of his cries, broken words. “Me tay.”

“It’s stay, Suede. And you can’t stay because it’s my weekend,” Suede screams as Scott pulls at his body. Trying to take him from you. “Suede, enough!” He pulls harder, and his voice reaches a screeching high, shattering that part of your heart as his body shivers from anguish.

“Mommy will get you Sunday.”

“You’re only making this worse,” you hate him, and it has nothing to do with what he did to you, it’s what he’s doing to your children. “Suede, you’re fine,” you bite your tongue, holding back your own tears as he kicks. Thrashing around while Scott buckles him in, and one name on his lips. Mama. Over and over it tugs at your heart. Your baby needs you, and you can’t comfort him without causing more of a scene.

It’s one of the hardest things that you have to do. Ignoring him because it can get worse. You kneel down in front of Audrey, and she jumps into your arms giving you the biggest hug, “Will you make sure that Suedey is okay when you get in the car?”

“Yes, mommy. I’m sorry.”

“Baby, it’s okay. I’ll see you Sunday before supper, okay?” Audrey nods before she walks to her side of the car, getting in her seat herself, but Scott goes to buckle her. She extends a hand over to her crying brother, and more pieces of your heart break.

“Can you text or call and let me know when he calms down?”

“Yeah,” Scott answers shortly, closing Audrey’s door before he goes to the driver’s side. “Guess we can’t go to soft play with a baby that won’t stop crying,” bastard. Blaming Scott’s mistakes on Suede.

“I’ll take them Sunday,” Scott glares at Andy, and you are just numb. The teachers told you that while Suede was sad when his dad picked him up, there was no crying. You hate him for making you hear this. “Doe, let’s go.”

You’re not a person that wants to get even very often, but if you could make him feel like you did right now, you would. And if it is the fact that Andy already said he’d take them out Sunday after pickup that makes Scott hurt, so be it. It kills you to hear his muffled cries still. The fact that he had a good day, and evening, only for it to end with him in so much turmoil only hurts worse. You give a silent prayer that he can soothe himself soon. Scott never liked long crying sessions. He wasn’t patient enough to handle it.

“Your place or mine?”

“I don’t care as long as you hold me,” he opens up your car door, and you jump in, finally letting your tears cascade over your cheeks. You’re thankful you thought to leave Andy’s car at the house because you wouldn’t be able to drive right now. Everything in your body aches. Your his mother, and you couldn’t hold him until his tears stop. He is crying for you, and you have to walk away from him.

“He’s so mean to my baby. I don’t know if he hates him or if he’s ashamed of him,” you suck in a ragged breath, trying to calm your tears. “Suede’s always had health issues. He was born too early, it was a difficult pregnancy, his allergies were caught before he was a year old, now they’re talking about his vision, but he’s just a baby. And he’s usually so happy and full of light, but I think Suede knows that Scott doesn’t love him like he loves Audrey. Why are my kids the ones that have to suffer?”

“Audrey soothes Suede, but she’s a baby herself. She shouldn’t have to. They don’t have fun with their dad. And I don’t know how I could have been so wrong in a father for them. I just — I don’t care about me anymore, I just want them to be okay, and I fear that Suede is just forgotten there. A mistake,” god you hate reliving that day. That moment when that asshole murmured he was a mistake.

“What?” Andy’s voice is so hard. It’s a dangerous timbre.

“He said that Suede was a mistake,” you rest your head on the back of the seat. “It was that day that whatever I felt towards Scott was completely erased. I hated him and it took four words for me to hate him. My kids aren’t mistakes. They’re my everything, and if I have to feel this gut wrenching pain, so they don’t have to, I don’t care anymore. I’ll deal with Scott, but that — that is so hard to deal with, and it makes me feel so small every time because I can’t fix it.”

His hands grip onto the steering wheel too tight. His eyes staring out onto the road before taking a deep breath. He removes a hand, and places it on your thigh. You don’t smile, but you pick up his hand and hold it with both of yours. Weaving your delicate fingers in his, while your right hand clings to his so tightly. He didn’t have to say anything, but you know he’s offering to be your strength.

“I’m tired of this constant fight, and this constant fear that my baby is going to be forgotten, and neglected, and do you know what happens to unattended children? They get into things. Certain things he can get into could kill him,” your breath stutters in your throat. “I don’t think that they let them use the phone to call me as much as they want. It’s just another way to separate us. I call every day. Multiple times a day. Scott maybe calls every other day..”

Lifting up his hand, he kisses over your knuckles. “I just wish I could talk to them before bed, so I knew that they were going to sleep without tears in their eyes,” he kisses your knuckles again as you pull into the driveway. Another long weekend, but this time you didn’t have to spend it alone. Even a little bit of a distraction will help.

“Thank you,” your voice is so hoarse as Andy gets out of the car. He opens your door, undoes your buckle, and lifts you up into his arms. Letting you koala around him as he carries you into the house. It’s the most comforting gesture. Days like this walking is difficult, and he takes that responsibility from you. His comfort couldn’t change anything, but it can give you comfort and support when you just want to stare at nothing.

“I want you in something comfortable in five minutes, and then we’re going to be lazy on the couch the rest of the evening. Audrey told me she was sad because she wanted a slumber party with me, you, Suede, and Ann,” he smirks as you lift your head off his shoulder. Of course he’d get a kick out of Audrey asking him to spend the night.

“Ann?”

“I think that’s what they’ve decided to call Ransom. Go on. Get comfy. I’m just wearing sweatpants, and a t-shirt,” perfect clothes to cuddle him in. Your eyes get heavy just thinking about it. Drop offs like that are draining, and you want to sleep until you get to see them again.

“Old and worn in?”

“It’s the only way to wear it. Go on,” reluctantly you walk away from him. Opening up your bedroom door, and freeze. It’s the same time every time. That stupid blonde girl with her hands firmly on your husband’s chest while her body sucks him into her. No condom. You thought you had been seeing things, but he confirmed it. No condom. And lucky for him, he didn’t transfer anything to you.

So many things you couldn’t forgive him for. He is selfish. He’s disgusting. And you hate him. You hate that he’s the one that is in your kids’ life, and you don’t even know if there will ever be a time that you don’t hate him. You sigh as those thick arms wrap around your waist, and you lean your head back on his shoulder.

“It’s where you caught them,” Andy doesn’t ask, but you nod your head. You hate coming into this room. Everything about it reminds you of that day. He lit candles. There was soft music. And he was staring up at her like she was a goddess. His hands gripped her hips so tightly. Did he ever look at you liked that?

Andy’s lips pepper kisses down your jaw. “When was the last time you slept in here?”

“The night before it happened,” he lets you go. Starting to pull off the clothes from the day. His fingers glide over your skin like the strokes of a paintbrush. Getting you completely naked before he bends down, and pulls out his shirt from the day, and slips it on you.

“Grab you some panties, or don’t,” there’s something so solid in his voice as he walks over to the bed, and yanks off the duvet. Tossing pillows to the side of it. Ripping at every linen that you split tears on as you made the bed one last time. Ending with a pile of bedding, and then he grunts, pulling the mattress off to the side.

“We’re going bed shopping this weekend,” you gasp as you look at him. “Either we get you a new fucking bed, or we buy a house. What do you want to do?”

Kiss him. Make love with him. Why was getting rid of the bed so simple? That makes perfect sense to remove the bed. “Andy, I…”

“I already told you I was going to marry you. And when I do, I won’t be living in this house. But temporarily I need you to sleep in a bed. So, are we going bed shopping or buying a house this weekend?”

“Bed.”

“There’s my girl,” he grins, and you take a few steps to close the gap between you. Wrapping yourself into his warmth. “When you can’t do that anymore, I will be there. I hated that, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. He’s a callous man, but he won’t win. I may only be a step dad to them, but,” he stutters. Pulling you even closer to him. “I love them, just like I love you. I will fight for both of you, and I understand court order. So I have to be productive where I can. And this is where I start, making sure you get good sleep.”

“Thank you,” you whimper, and he lets you melt into him. Soaking up his scent, and his strength. You needed him, not as another parent, but him. Just to be with you. “I love you, too.”

You let all those walls tumble down because you can’t continue to keep them up. You are one person, and you’re tired of fighting, and this isn’t a fight that was worth it. Why can you not love Andy? Why should you not just let him in, and trust him the way that you did Scott? Because being strong for your kids was making your other walls weaker. Instead of putting up boundaries from Andy, you want him inside your walls as added protection.

“We’ll buy a bed,” you laugh. It’s silly, but it’s freeing. Freeing to admit to yourself and to Andy you love him. You want him, and you don’t have to pretend anymore.

“And a dog.”

“No.”

“There’s dogs that detect allergies.”

“No.”

“Fine, when we buy us a house that we both, and the kids adore, and it has extra space just in case,” you look up at him and how adorable he is with his hope. You couldn’t have kids, but you wish you could give Andy at least one biological child. “We’ll buy a house. After the divorce. Deal?”

“You got a deal.”

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

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[msnanu]

Libertine 10 | JJK

Libertines put value on physical pleasures, meaning those experienced through the senses.

❧ Series Masterlist ❧

⏤summary ❧ He has a reputation for being the most promiscuous man on campus, and you, well, you are basically him in women’s pants. It will be the very first time that Jungkook is faced with someone who is gonna make him question his feelings and actions.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ f*boy jungkook x f*girl female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, smut, angst, slow burn, teasing and lots of sexual tension.

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language, NSFW🔞

❧ banner by: @dojakoo ❧

A few minutes later after leaving you astonished at the entrance of your building, Jungkook went straight to Taehyung’s apartment. He didn’t know what else to do so he texted him on the way there with a single line.

“I need to talk to you.”

Jungkook being the idiot he is, instantly regretted the way he treated you. He went all the way to Taehyung's cursing himself and his jealousy. The normal process should be to apologize to people when you hurt them but no, oh no, Jungkook’s brain never seemed to work at the same pace that everyone’s else did.

Even if he wanted to apologize, he didn’t know where to start. So here he was, sitting on Taehyung’s couch. His friend was on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed while giving him a questionable look as he finished telling the story about what had happened just a few minutes ago with you.

“So, let me get this straight, you’re saying that you were hooking up with someone else.” Started Taehyung trying to find some logic in Jungkook’s previous actions.

“No.” The youngest cringed “We didn’t get to the hooking up part.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and corrected himself. “Okay, okay. You were about to hook up with some random girl, sounds better?”

“I guess.”

“Okay, so Y/N, out of nowhere, called you to hang out sounding weird, at least according to you. Which by the way, let me point this out, she never did that before.” Said Taehyung as Jungkook just nodded his head in silence. “And while you were on the phone, this random girl literally moaned, and of course, unless Y/N is deaf, we can guess that she heard it. Did I get that right?”

Jungkook sighed in frustration. “Yes”

“So, you went to check up on her and when you got to her apartment, she was just talking with some dude you don’t even know, and you had a tantrum as if you were her boyfriend whilst your neck was looking like that?” Taehyung said pointing with his finger to Jungkook’s neck.

Furrowing his brows Jungkook looked at his friend with confusion all over his face. “Huh? My neck? What are you talking about, hyung?”

He was unbelievable.

“Dude, are you for real? Look at yourself in the mirror, please.”

Jungkook traveled a few steps from the couch to the wall mirror in the living room and took a quick look at his own reflection.

Oh, no.

His eyes widened at the image in front of him. His neck was full of purple marks. Very much clear marks. He was so blinded as soon as he got your phone call that didn’t even remember that the girl in his car had sucked his neck like a leech.

Even if by some kind of miracle, you were momentarily deaf and didn’t hear the moaning while you were on the phone with him, you clearly weren’t blind and saw his neck full of hickeys. And you could only assume what had transpired with that girl.

Jungkook groaned at the frustration while saying “Fuck me.”

“You’re an idiot, Jungkook” Taehyung sighed making a few seconds pause before continuing “From what I’m hearing, she probably was going through something when she reached out to you, and you acted like an entitled asshole. You don’t even have the right to be mad. If anything, you should be thankful because she didn’t even react to the moaning or the hickeys.”

“If she didn’t react maybe she just doesn’t care about me.” Responded Jungkook almost in a whisper, sounding even sad because you didn’t react to any of it.

Is he an idiot?

“Sure, that totally makes sense. She thought of you instead of any other person when she clearly had some kind of issue, but yeah, I’m sure she doesn’t care about you at all.” Said Taehyung with the most ironic tone possible.

His friend was right about that. Ugh, now Jungkook felt anxious to know what had happen that you felt the need to call him. You already had opened up to him about your dad and it felt like you were getting closer to him, and he just went straight to fuck up everything with his unhealthy way of dealing with his feelings.

“Fuck fuck fuck. What am I going to do?”

Taehyung was surprised to see the desperation in his friend. If it were Seulgi or any other girl who they’ll be talking about, Jungkook would probably be laughing right now thinking about how bold he was to show up to his hook up all marked by another random girl. Well, to be honest, Jungkook wouldn’t have cared if Seulgi called him, he would just kept hooking up with that random girl.

But no, this time around, they were talking about you. Taehyung could see real desperation in those big doe eyes.

And even he’s friends’ with Jungkook, you’d started to feel like a friend too, he liked having you around. By now, you had hung out a few times with him and Anyra and he could see that underneath the fuck girl persona that everyone knew over the campus there was an amazing cool girl.

Just like Jungkook, underneath all those layers of alleged indifference, there was someone valuable, someone that actually cared a lot about their inner circle.

Taehyung was in some way angry at his friend. He was being an asshole to you. Even if it wasn’t intentionally. If it were any other girl, he wouldn’t be surprised. After all it is Jungkook’s usual modus operandi with women.

The thing is, at least for Taehyung who knew him very well, Jungkook had already being too obvious about you. You were not like any other girl to him, even if he didn’t show it with his stupid actions. That’s why Taehyung started to feel angry towards the youngest.

His filter went out of the window when he responded to Jungkook. “I don’t know but if I were her, I wouldn’t talk to you again.”

Ouch.

Jungkook gasped. “Wow, you really are a great friend.”

“I know I am.” said Taehyung giggling.

Jungkook glared at him in silence. He couldn’t laugh at this. Not when you were probably already hating him.

Fuck, since when does he cares about someone hating him?

“You should know by now that being your friend means that I’ll be honest with you no matter what. I’m not gonna pamper you when you clearly fucked up. Plus, I like Y/N. She’s cool.”

Yeah, she definitely is, thought Jungkook.

As he plopped himself again on the couch with his hands over his head Jungkook said “Ugh. hyung, please. I don’t know how to fix this. What should I do?”

It was stupidly simple. It started with two words. 

Sighing and almost not believing how clueless Jungkook was when it came to human interactions Taehyung asked, “What do you want to do, Kook?”

“Because even for me that I’ve been your friend for years, you’re confusing as fuck.”

And that was a good question that left Jungkook thinking. What did he want?

There you were. Beautiful as always.

It was a few days later, almost a week had passed by since Jungkook last saw and talked to you.

Sitting in a bench at the end of the corridor, that feeling of superiority surrounding yourself as usual. Legs crossed, hands by your sides; a little smirk appeared on your lips once your sharp gaze fixed in Jungkook’s face.

You could see he was clearly surprised to see you there.

After days of silence and avoidance from both sides, he didn’t expect for you to be there. He couldn’t quite pin if you were mad, hurt or both and it was scary as hell. Whatever you were feeling, you were pretty good disguising it with your usual facade.

The only thing he could sense is that you went back to the old Y/N, the one that puzzled him every single time he interacted with you.

“Don’t fuck up” Taehyung’s voice in a whisper cut Jungkook’s train of thoughts as they both were approaching you.

“Hey Y/N” said Taehyung as he passed by waving his hand to you.

“Hi Tae Tae” You waved back giving him a little smile.

Tae Tae? Since when did you two got so close that you are calling him nicknames?

As Jungkook finally was in front of you, he talked almost in a whisper. “Hey”

“Hey” The cold tone with which you replied didn’t escape Jungkook’s ears neither the way you seemed to look at him with the same indifference you did when you first met. “May I have a few words with you?”

Okay. You probably are about to tell him to go fuck himself. Or maybe you want to patch things up, although he should be the one to say sorry first. Why does he have to be this coward? He should’ve been the first one to approach, not you.

Seeing that Jungkook was muted and spacing out, you decided to talk again.

“It’ll be just a few minutes, I’m not gonna take much of your time.”

He wanted to tell you that you could take all of his time whenever you wanted, but for some reason he just nodded and followed you from behind like a puppy while you started to walk towards a corridor that could give you two a little more privacy.

As he walked behind you, he could feel the trails of your scent that were being left behind. Oh, how much he’d missed it.

Suddenly, you stop your tracks and Jungkook mimics you. You turn around looking him straight to his eyes. He gulps at how beautiful you look. Always so ridiculously beautiful.

He wonders if you are even aware of how gorgeous you look. You probably do, how could you not?

“Okay, I'll go straight to the point” you said as you looked as if you were gathering your thoughts. “About what you said last time, I may be just a good fuck, but I know at least I’m not a hypocrite.”

Oh fuck. That's not what I think of you, I was just angry. That's what Jungkook had in his mind, but of course, he didn't dare to open his mouth. He just let you do the talking.

“Let me be clear with this.” You said as you took a step closer to him, making him even more nervous with your stern gaze. “You are free to do whatever the fuck you want with whoever you want to, as well as I am. I’m not gonna take any bullshit from you or anyone. I mean, you even had the audacity to act all jealousy while you were the one covered in hickeys, and right after I’d heard a girl moaning through the phone when I called you.”

God. So, you heard the moaning. And you did notice his neck covered in hickeys. That's phenomenal, Jungkook thought.

“Y/N, I’m s-” He was cut off by your hand in front of his face.

“No.”

“What?”

“Don’t even dare to say you’re sorry now. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t even be talking. You had plenty of time to be sorry, I think I gave you enough space for you to do that. You are a big boy; you should know by now when to say sorry.”

Those big sad puppy eyes he gave you almost made you give in for a moment.

But you had to do this. This went too far already. You know you’re a valuable person, that’s what you’ve been trying to be with him – at least these past weeks when you started to get closer - and you’re not going to lower to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise, even though you’re pretty sure that everything he said to you last time you talked, were being said in the heat of the moment.

You are certain that he’s not a bad guy, he’s just an idiot sometimes.

But as you said before, you gave him space. Almost a week. You gave him enough time to fix things between you two and he didn't do anything. Not a thing.

Little did you know, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. But because he was trying to gather his balls once and for all and apologize properly, he didn’t want to fuck up this time. He planned to apologize this week no matter what, but of course, you were not a mind reader and for you, his silence during this whole week only showed indifference which it kind of hurt you even more.

“Look.” You sighed before continuing “I don’t particularly enjoy ending things in bad terms.”

Ending? Jungkook started panicking at your words.

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you first.” You said gesturing with your hands between you two “To give whatever this was, a nice proper closing since we’ll probably keep seeing each other’s faces from time to time.”

That’s when Jungkook felt all the air was being sucked from his lungs. Suddenly he seemed to gather some courage and started talking.

“Y/N, isn't this too much? Can't we talk about this at least?”

Don’t make this any harder, was all you could think of at that moment.

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I just know that you were extremely rude with me, and you didn't even have the decency to apologize.”

“Please, just-” You cut him off again.

“No. You hurt me. You are clearly too used to girls running after you, but I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again, I’m not gonna run after you.”

He knew that. You were too good for him after all.

“And honestly, if you think I'm just a good fuck, I don't think it will change much for you ending this thing between us.”

For a moment he thought he saw in your eyes hurt, he felt awful.

No, you’re not just a good fuck.

He wanted to say that. He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to hug you and say that he is sorry, that he wanted to reach out so many times during these past few days, but he was afraid, he didn't know how to approach.

He never had to do this before. He never cared enough. He didn't know how to deal with these kinds of situations or his feelings. He was a coward.

You in the other hand, just wanted to get over with this because if you kept looking at those big puppy eyes for one more second, you knew you'd gave in and end up kissing him.

It was always like this between you two. One minute you were getting along and the next you were barking up a storm. Maybe, it was like a little game to you both. You’d fight, then make up.

The game was fun – until it wasn’t anymore - and it seemed to be all you’ve known since you two first met.

Your stomach was twisting in ways that you hadn't felt before. You decided to ignore it and make one last effort to end this the best way you could.

“Well, I've said everything I wanted to say.” You said as you straighten up your posture and tried to sound as unaffected as possible. “It was a pleasure, Jeon. Quite literally.” You said as you lightly chuckled and then leaned in to give Jungkook one last peck on his left cheek.

Why did all of this feel so wrong?

You turned around not wanting to wait for his response and walked away, leaving a spaced out Jungkook standing all alone in that corridor while he kept his hand placed where you last kissed him.

“I'm an idiot.” He said almost in a whisper. But you weren’t there anymore to hear him saying it.

“You coming tonight?” You hear a male voice from behind you, startling you. A second ago, you were all alone in the library searching a book for one of your exams and out of the sudden someone’s by your side.

You quickly turn around to see a smiling Taehyung. 

“Gosh, Tae. You scared me.” You said with your hand placed on your chest trying to calm your nerves. “At least say hi first.”

Taehyung giggled. “Hi, Y/N. Are you coming tonight?”

“You’re so weird” You sighed. “Where?” 

“Duh, to Jin’s party of course.” He reminded to you. 

Fuck, you had completely forgotten about that. Jungkook had definitely invited you.

Of course, that was at some point when you were in good terms. Not that you are in bad terms now, at least you don’t think so after the last talk you two had but it might be still a little bit awkward to see him again this soon.

Although you do miss his stupid face. Ugh, it’s frustrating.

You were unaware that Jungkook had actually begged Taehyung earlier to remind you about the party tonight and also convince you to go.

“No way. I’m not meddling between you two, Kook.” Said Taehyung as he finished eating the pizza that Jungkook so generously bought him out of nowhere.

Now he understood why he bought it in the first place.

“Hyung, please. You’re not meddling. You just have to tell Y/N to come to the party.”

Taehyung groaned in frustration knowing very well that Jungkook wasn’t gonna back off unless he said yes. “Fine. But you better fix everything tonight because I’m not doing this again.”

 “That’s the idea.” Said Jungkook as he gave his friend a triumphant smile.

So, Taehyung’s mission here was clear. He couldn’t take a no for an answer, that’s why he wasn’t expecting your next response.

“Mm, I don’t think so. I don’t have an outfit. Plus, I should probably be studying.” You excused yourself knowing damn well you had the time to spare, since you already delivered your pending essays, while you kept seeking for the book you needed.

Taehyung made a sound of complaint, before slightly hitting your head with the first book he saw. “Hey! Tae, what the fuck?!”

“Studying is for losers. Midterms aren’t even until next week! Plus, everyone’s going tonight.” He took a pause before he whispered, “Even your boyfriend, Jungkookie.”

He winked before you grabbed the book whacking him back. “You know damn well he is not my boyfriend, and you still sleep with a fucking night light. Talk to me nicely.”

“How the hell do you know that? Did Anyra tell you? It was only one time!” He defended himself. “We had just finished watching a scary movie. What else did you expect from me, lady?” 

Anyra did tell you about it and you knew that the truth was far from that. You giggled. “Sure, whatever you say, Taehyungie.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He continued to pressure you regardless. “Who else will accompany me to down five shots in the span of a minute?”

“No one?! That’s insane, Taehyung.”

“We’ve done it before, at my party! Now you’re just shaming me.” He mumbled in disappointment. “Whatever, stay here then. I’ll be downing my tenth shot by the time you realize the mistake you committed by staying behind.” 

You shook your head smiling to yourself. You’d learned pretty quickly that Taehyung could be so stubborn at times.

In all honesty, sometimes you needed spontaneous night outs, and he was the perfect person to do almost anything chaotic and stupid with, but tonight was not the night.

Midterms were coming in soon, you needed to stay focused - or maybe you simply didn't want to bump into Jungkook and possibly see him in the arms of someone else for the night - but Taehyung didn’t need to know all that. 

“Sure Tae, have fun. Let me know how it goes.” 

He hummed. “See you loser.”

“Byeeee!” You shouted, watching him storm out the room and maybe you would. No, you will for sure - regret staying home, but only time would tell.

And you in fact did regret staying home. 

So much so, that you had put on the first top and skirt you saw within your closet that fits you best and nearly sprinted to the party. You weren’t there to impress anyone, but you did need to at least look presentable - enough to possibly be fucked mid-party.

Well, no, maybe you were there to impress a certain someone, but any extra attractions were a plus.

You were there for a good time; you could use some distraction from college or the image of Jungkook’s sad doe eyes last time you saw him.

It was so hard for you to cope with your feelings. You ended things with Jungkook because you thought it was the best for you, but you've been hesitating non-stop about it. You hate how much it affects you, it's not the first time you end things with someone, but it is the first time that you feel some kind of regret.

But you shouldn't, no... you shouldn't.

“Y/N! You made it!” Jin tugged you in for a hug, a wide smile plastered on his face. “The boys will be so happy to see you!”

You smiled into his hug. “I’m happy to be here, Jinnie! I’ll go find them. You enjoy your party!” 

He nodded, letting you go, waving a final goodbye as he disappeared into the crowd. The party was much bigger than you anticipated. Everyone was grinding on each other clearly already so fucked out of their own minds.

A lot of regrets were going to happen tonight definitely, you just hoped you weren’t a part of them. 

“Y/NNNNN!” Taehyung sang into your ear, as he pulled you in for a bear hug. “You came!!!”

You giggled, hugging him back tightly. “I did. You…look already very happy!” In other words, Taehyung was completely wasted, explaining his huge smile. “Bet you won’t be happy in the morning though; I promise you that—” 

He cut you off with a hand in front of your face. “Don’t ruin my good time. I knew you would make it. How could you miss this after all?” Taehyung put on an ‘I told you so’ face and he was right.

“Yeah, I know I couldn’t stay away, unfortunately.” You sighed, crossing your arms. “Where are the other boys anyways?”

Taehyung squinted his eyes, clearly up to no good in that round head of his. “You mean… Jungkookieee?” 

“No.” Definitely lying, but you couldn’t let him know that. “I mean the other- other boys. Like Yoongi.” 

Jungkook was so bummed when his friend told him that he couldn’t convince you to go to the party, he’d expected for you to go and talk things through in a more chill environment like this one.

Taehyung could see you were lying from a mile away, you clearly wanted to see Jungkook too. So stubborn, you two were really for each other, he thought.

He smirked. “Sure! Jungkook is around the corner, I saw him head over there earlier. Now if you excuse me, I have business to attend. Anyra is across the pool, and she has been eyeing me since she got here. I think she wants a piece of this handsome face again.” 

Your face turned to disgust. “Yup. Let’s never say things like that ever again. Now bye.”

You didn’t admit it but, you were totally looking for Jungkook. There was no need to say it aloud, Taehyung knew that very well. 

The entire time you had been - attempting and failed to – studying that day, Jungkook was all you could think of.

That and his usual stupid flirty behavior towards you. You missed it.

Were you too harsh when you last talked to him? Was it a mistake to end everything?

But then again, this game you guys were playing was getting old, it was just a matter of time before you both crashed and burned.

Jungkook was exactly where Taehyung had pointed, he was, except he was with a girl. The same girl you had seen him around so many times before you started this whole thing between you two. Seulgi.

Jungkook was fresh off being ‘dumped’ by you, if that’s what you call it when you end a relationship that you’re trying to pretend is just a casual friend with benefits thing.

Whatever you call it; it had happened less than 72 hours ago and from the looks of it; Jungkook and Seulgi were already rekindling things.

That stupid scene hurt you in more ways than one.

You couldn’t help, but to feel jealous. You didn’t want to care, you ended things with him, he could do whatever he wanted to, you were clear with that, but you couldn’t take your eyes of those two.

That obnoxious girl was sitting so close to him talking about who knows what. In all honesty you could see he didn’t seem so interested, avoiding all eye contact with her, but still he paid enough attention. 

“Y/N!” Your attention turned to the person who called your name. You smiled as you saw that it was none other than Mingyu. “You’re here too!”

“Mingyu hi! Yeah, guess I am!” He surprised you as he wrapped his arms around your waist lifting you up into a warm hug.

Every time you saw this guy, he had always treated you so well, he was exactly like his scent, so sweet and pretty. 

“You know Jin too?” You asked him curiously. Mingyu nodded, placing you back down carefully. 

“Well, yes and no. He is friends with my best friend over there.” He said pointing to a guy in a corner who was gulping down what it seemed to be a tequila shot.

“Oh, wow, it’s definitely a small world. So, are you having fun so far?”

“Always.” He said as he smiled. “What do you say? Wanna dance?” He held out a hand, kind eyes. 

You looked past his shoulder, Jungkook had noticed you the minute Mingyu decided to yell your name across the room, he didn’t look happy, not in the slightest.

He was surprised and insanely happy to see you there but then the surprise and happiness turned into anger and jealousy when he saw who you were with.

This was your chance. Your chance to be petty of course.

“I’d love to!” You said without hesitation. 

There was never a time where you didn’t have a good time with Mingyu, especially when dancing. That reminded you to the night you ended up sleeping together, you remembered that before ending the night in your apartment you had danced with him for a long ass time.

He was never too handsy, never missed a single beat, always led well. But he was also a natural flirt, and you weren’t one to reject a playful endeavor.

“What a dream.” Mingyu whispered against your ear, hands still laid carefully against your back. “Dancing is always so much fun with you.”

You smiled, swaying your hips to the beat as you flirtatiously said, “This kinda feels like a déjà vu to me.” 

He smiled in return, keeping up with your pace. “Your friend from the other day is staring.”

You frowned. “What do you mean?” 

Mingyu flipped you around, your back was now against his front. “Look.”

Oh. That friend.

Jungkook was staring and he was staring hard. He did not look one bit happy, nothing about his expression screamed content. He noticed your attention on him, but he didn’t dare drop eye contact.

Instead, he decided to be even more petty than you and brought Seulgi against him, whispering something unknown against her ear. She smiled, tilting her head, her arms traveled up his chest leaning into him, but his eyes stayed on you. 

He knew you were trying to get back at him. And God knows he knew damn well how to be petty. You are not the one to talk either.

You wanna play, Jeon Jungkook? The game begins now.  

You dropped eye contact first, forcing yourself to focus only on Mingyu even though all your mind was replaying nonstop was Jungkook’s face. You could feel your ass pressed harder against Mingyu as the beat sped up. Your arms traveled up finding the back of his head, he tilted slightly brushing his soft lips against your neck. “I think you’re going to get me in trouble, sweetie.”

The situation was different now. You didn't think Jungkook even cared. It must had been something with his ego that was making him angry to see you with another guy that wasn’t him. There was no way he cared about you.

If only you knew what was going on in Jungkook’s mind at that exact moment.

You, like Jungkook, were popular – even though you preferred having a low profile -, everyone who knew you liked you, and, in more than one occasion, he had clearly heard that, apparently, everyone wanted to fuck you. Even females.

He absolutely agreed; after all, you were funny, smart, full of fire and absolutely gorgeous to the point one can’t look away when you’re in the same room as he was doing at that moment.

He was very much aware of the fact that the short little piece of chaos that he was staring at was not his girlfriend and, therefore, you could do whatever you want with whoever you want, and that was what had been eating him alive for the last few days since you ended things with him.

“Who fucking cares?” You whimpered, feeling Mingyu drop a kiss right below your ear. He opened his mouth barely and his teeth came in contact next. He licked before he sucked gently. You knew he was leaving a mark, but you didn’t even care at that moment. 

Your hooded eyes locked with Jungkook’s, but it didn’t last long. Mingyu pulled away from your neck too suddenly. “From the looks of it, your friend cares.”

He came closer with his head tilted, whispering in your ear. “I don’t mind giving you a hand if you wanna make him jealous.”

You chuckled at the mischievousness that Mingyu’s words implied. “What a gentleman. But that sounds too petty for me.”

Liar. You were already trying to make him jealous.

He smiled and leaned down slightly, the angle making him look big, intimidating. “Well, you can think of it as taking out your frustrations on me. You seem to be too stressed lately and I wouldn’t mind. Not at all.”

Hot. This guy is so fucking hot. You would be riding him by now if it weren’t for Jungkook’s hard gaze on you. He was screwing with your head. Maybe Mingyu was a good distraction for you. If you were here with Joy and Jihyo you know they would totally encourage you to enjoy yourself with him.

After all, you and Jungkook are no longer a thing. Well, you never were, did you?

You scoffed, and smiled wide, flashing straight teeth as you said, “I might take your offer.” Then you shrugged. “We’ll see how the night goes.”

It was fine. Truly.

You weren’t together. You weren’t anything more than friends? Who occasionally happened to find their way into each other’s bed. Only when you were stressed, or it’s been a tough week. Sometimes you’d use it as a chance to let off steam before a big exam, or just when you were lonely, when your friends were out and about in your college town but neither of you had a desire to join them.

It was the perfect arrangement really. Well, not arrangement because you never really stated anything about this, but it was always implicit for you. ‘Friends’ that helped each other out, scratching an itch. Simple, no strings attached. A buddy you could get your jollies off with and then go grab a burger together without it being a big deal.

That’s what you had with one another. 

So, there was absolutely no reason for you to feel a gnawing heat in your belly, eating away at the lining of your stomach, causing your insides to churn as Jungkook casually brushed a lock of long, dark curls over Seulgi’s shoulder, fingers skimming down the bare skin of the woman’s bicep as he grinned at her in that way that made his dimples crease in his cheeks.

Your smile, dammit.

Except it wasn’t. You didn’t own that. He is perfectly free to give it to whomever he wished. The thought didn’t comfort you whatsoever. Not while you were still dancing with Mingyu and watching Jungkook flirt with another girl.

Suddenly, it was too much. The people, the noise, those dark brown eyes that winked at you from across the room when Jungkook caught your eyes on him. It was all wrong.

“Did you mean what you said before?” You asked, fixing Mingyu with a look he couldn’t quite discern.

You should kick yourself for letting your emotions get the best of you. This didn’t happen before Jungkook came into your life. If you ever saw a guy that you slept with, being with another girl you would brush it off and move on to the next guy in line. You wouldn’t give two fucks.

“Which part?” Mingyu returned while studying your pretty face with interest.

“About taking out my frustrations on you?” You replied vaguely in return.

“You want to yell or hit me after we had such a great time dancing?” He asked, feigning offense, but smirking anyway.

You chuckled as you rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Not quite.” Your eyes flicking to his. “I had something else in mind.” You added shameless, taking a tentative step towards him and hoping the look on your face and vagueness of your words have been suggestive enough for him to get the point. 

There was something akin to desire in his eyes when you took another step, one that closed most of the space between you. He made his own move forward, eliminating the rest and conveying his consent, which was all the motivation you needed to rise up on your tiptoes, grab a fistful of his shirt, and press your lips to his.

It was vastly different from kissing Jungkook, which had still made you feel worried and self-conscious that you might mess things up each time. With Mingyu there was really nothing to lose so you kissed him with a reckless abandon of inhibitions you could never be capable of with Jungkook.

When it came to Jeon Jungkook, there were too many feelings involved, good and bad, too much intimacy.

With Mingyu it was a blank slate, for the most part, which is much easier to work with as far as escaping reality went than hooking up with a man that you’d shared too much of your personal life in a short period of time, things that you didn’t usually share with anyone. 

Mingyu was a decidedly good kisser, which was no surprise. But there was an almost smugness you felt radiating off of him when you left out a soft moan of pleasure against his lips as his fingers squeezed your hips roughly whilst his other hand stroked up and down your back, warm and heavy. He knew he was talented, of course, and he was not even remotely shy about making that known.

“We shouldn’t do this here, gorgeous” He stated, breathless in his own right after a few all-consuming moments of letting his lips devour yours wantonly.

You left out a frustrated huff, both at the statement and the break in the passionate series of kisses you’d been sharing that had been doing a world of good relieving the frustrations and stress that had been so overwhelming for you in the moments before.

You know that it’s true, what he’d said. Thankfully, you weren’t lost in your thoughts long as he started talking again. “We could go upstairs, if you want.” He said, not a hint of shyness in his words.

“Sure, let's do that.” You said in immediate agreement, disentangling yourself from him and heading upstairs.

As soon as Jungkook saw you and Mingyu kissing and then going upstairs, he got up from his seat consumed in rage and said, “Fuck this, I’m getting the fuck out of here.”

Before Seulgi had a chance to say anything, Jungkook was darting his way out of the room, beelining down the hall and weaving through people until he reached the backdoor.

It was just as lively out there, people set up playing beer pong and a few smoking beside the hedges, laughing together, but at least there wasn’t the suffocating, overheated atmosphere of too many bodies crammed into one room. And the music was blessedly muted out there.

Maybe he could breathe for a few minutes, get himself back under control. Maybe he should just go home, he thought absently. And with that he just got onto his car and went straight home, trying not to think anymore of you and Mingyu, and failing miserably every time.

Going to that party had been a mistake.

Seulgi on the other hand, wasn’t even surprised. She had seen how hard he was staring at you before you went upstairs, one of his veins at his neck was about to pop anytime soon. She also knew Jungkook was just using her to make you jealous, but as long as she got some action she didn’t care. And now she was left high and dry.

She would have to look for another guy to screw with, what a waste of time.

“You want something to drink first?” Asked Mingyu, watching lingeringly as you walked up the stairs.

“No, I’d rather just…” You bit your lip and shrugged, your eyes casting to his, not bothering to feel embarrassed by the implied forwardness of your half-statement.

Now that you weren’t being disoriented by strobe lights, on the corner of a dark room, he really took in just how hot you looked with the clothing you were wearing. Just the sight of you like that was such a turn on, your curves were more than just a little enticing.

He couldn’t wait to have you again. He didn’t even care if you were hung up on the guy that was staring at you downstairs because Mingyu could clearly see that you were affected by Jungkook. But tonight, you were his again and he wanted to be inside you no matter what.

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing at your words. It didn’t take any further convincing for him to comply, tucking his hand into yours and leading you towards the first bedroom in sight.

The room you got in had a design theme of all dark colors and sharp angles. There was a king size bed adorned in all black and you found it made neatly.

“So, what exactly do you have in mi-” Mingyu couldn’t finish his question, because your lips were pressed to his again with the same passion as before, as if unpausing a movie you’d put on hold for the ride upstairs.

His hands started at your face, cupping your cheeks as he kissed you back until moving them to grasp the backs of your thighs and urged your legs to leave the ground in favor of wrapping around his waist.

He started pressing you gently into the mattress as his body came down heavily over yours. His lips start their southern descent, trailing down between your breasts and over your bare stomach as your body writhed under his with the pleasure elicited from such actions. 

“Mingyu, you don’t have to– oh ,” Your sentence faded off into a moan as he dipped his face between your legs, his tongue swiping over already apparent arousal as his nose bumped up against your most sensitive area. All this, and he hadn’t so much as removed your panties yet.

“Stop talking now, Y/N” He muttered against your thigh before resuming his action, using his tongue to work you up appropriately.

Fuck. He sounded hot.

If this were Jungkook, you’d be almost embarrassed at how fast he’s able to make you cum. At the graceless moans that had fallen from your lips as your hips had bucked up wildly from under the strength of his restraint. But this was Mingyu, and you weren’t thinking about much of anything besides your immediate pleasure. Well, that… and Jungkook.

You quickly brushed him off and concentrated on reaching your orgasm as you felt Mingyu’s tongue rapidly licking and sucking your clit. A minute and few moans later and you were releasing your juices, pleasure running all over your body.

You were not sure you loved the satisfied smile Mingyu was wearing, clearly proud at how fast he had made you come undone. “We can stop there, if you want, gorgeous.” He said sweetly.

This time, Jungkook was the furthest thing from your mind, lust clouting all of your inner thoughts. “Just fuck me already, Mingyu.” You said with uncharacteristic grit, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you looked at him with your pupils fully blown.

He actually groaned because hearing you say that sentence with his name tacked onto the end just did something to him that he wasn’t quite expecting. 

He slipped back up your body, his lips pressing to yours with the taste of you still on them. His hand moved to where his mouth had just been and you arched your back, rising up into his touch desirously. “How do you want it?” He asked, his mouth on your neck now, his tongue swirled against your skin as he sucked lightly but not enough to leave a mark. 

“I don’t care.” You said, breathless as you squeezed your eyes shut, squirming underneath his ministrations, craving more from him in an unabashed way.

“Well, I do.” He said pointedly, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone with greater affection than you expected. “Now tell me again, Y/N” He dragged his lips down from your neck to the valley between your breasts, nuzzling his nose against your flesh. His hands slipped up your back and under the small fabric of your top. “How do you want it?” He repeated the question, his breath ghosting over your skin.

You had a default answer, you thought. Typically, you liked it on top, because you enjoyed having control. But at that moment, you felt like being powerless to someone else and somehow you also felt safe letting that person be Mingyu.

You slid your hand down his torso until you could feel his hardness strained against the confines of his zipped-up jeans. You bit your lip at the way it spanned most of your palm, you remembered how big he was. Not as big as Jungkook, but big enough to make you cum.

“Hard,” You admitted without shyness, the double intender not lost on you. “...and rough.” You added, rolling over and rising up onto your knees, pulling your top off and letting it fall to the floor.

“Fuck. Is that really what you like or just what you think you deserve?” He asked a question that felt more loaded and accusatory than maybe he meant for it to. But he trailed his hand from your shoulder down your spine to settle on your hip anyway, his lips following the same path briefly, as he ridded you of the rest of your clothes and his quickly followed suit.

Suddenly, you felt the sound of something near you vibrating. What was that? A phone?

“Hey,” You said through gritted teeth, your annoyance increasing slightly at the sound of it while he was flicking a condom wrapper to the floor, pressing himself against you wantonly. “I-I think your phone is vibrating.” You whined.

“It probably can wait,” He said, laughing gently at your eagerness, but not at your expense. His fingers slipped teasingly to where his tongue had already tipped you over the precipice of pleasure with minimal effort. They were thick and wide, and two of them working together almost felt like he was giving you what you wanted if you closed your eyes.

That was until he really gave you what you wanted, and you realized just how incomparable the real thing is to those skillful fingers of his. You gasped at the fullness. It took a few long moments before the pressure faded into pleasure instead and you felt his hand slip over your breast and up towards your throat. 

Now this is the type of escape you really needed. It was mindless, the way you’d lost yourself to the pleasure his rocking, vigorously paced hips provided you while his thumb traced patternless circles between your legs. Your mind finally achieved an escape from all of the hurtful things that these past few days usually plagued your thoughts.

When your second orgasm of the night hit you and Mingyu finally released his seeds on the condom, you were left with nothing there, not even the anxiety to feel self-conscious about the way he made you moan loudly or beg him for more.

A few minutes later, you were both putting your clothes on again with silly smiles on your faces.

As soon as he finished putting his jeans again, with his chest on display for you to admire, he took a step towards you and cupped your face giving you a long kiss that almost made you undress him again. If it weren’t for his phone that was vibrating on his pocket, you probably would have.

He stopped the kiss and groaned. “Sorry, I should probably take that now.”

You giggled at his annoyed looks. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Based on the conversation he had with whoever called him, you realized it was probably one of his friends and Mingyu didn’t seem to be so happy when he finished talking over the phone.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry I have to leave, apparently my idiot best friend is completely wasted, and we came with my car, so I have to drive him home.”

“No worries. Thanks for helping to relieve my stress.” You said with a teasing smile.

Mingyu chuckled as he put his shirt on. “My pleasure. You know we can repeat it whenever you want to.”

You nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind”

He kissed you one last time and said “See you, Y/N.”

“See you, Mingyu.”

He waved you from the door and closed it as he left to let you finish cleaning up yourself. You were finishing putting your boots while sitting on the bed when the sound of the door opening made you giggle.

“Did you forget something, Min-“ You cut your own words and your smile dropped as soon as you turned around and saw someone that was not Mingyu standing there.  

It was a guy you recognized seeing around campus, you had bumped into him a few times when you were going to classes or at the library. You usually don’t remember people’s faces that easily but there was something on his gaze that always unsettled you, he was creepy to say the least. He never talked to you but every time you saw him, he was either looking at you or near your classrooms which you thought it was because he had classes over there too but no.

The guy entered the room, closing the door behind him alarming you instantly.

 You got up from the bed immediately with arms crossed, trying to look as unaffected as possible. “Ah. Excuse me. Who are you?”

The creep smirked and chuckled making you feel goosebumps on your skin, not the good ones.

You were fucked.

Hoseok was trying to decide if he wanted to open a third beer or just head to bed for the night when his phone rang. Groaning to himself, he fumbled in his pocket for the device.

Without even looking at the ID, he answered the phone. “Yes?”

“H-hobi?”

His bright usual persona raised immediately as he recognized the voice on the other end of the line. “Oh, hey darling, what’s up?”

“Hobi, I know it’s late but I-I…”

Something was off. Your voice was shaky with a definite huskiness that wasn’t usually present, and he could hear the tears threatening to fall with every word. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“I was at this p-party I went and…This guy, he-he cornered me-” Hobi’s blood ran cold “-and, uh, can you ju-just please come get me?”

“Are you hurt? What did he do to you?”

A massive sob was your only response.

Trying to keep his voice calm and level, he asked, “Where are you?”

“I ran off. I’m in the a-alley across from the li-library” you said between hiccupy cries.

“I’ll be right there.” Hobi paused, his voice softening slightly. “And hey, it’s gonna be okay, do you hear me? I want you to stay on the phone with me until I can get there. You don’t have to say anything, but I want to make sure I’m here if you need me. Can you do that?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

Hoseok tore through another red light as he sped across town trying to get to you. Since he had left his apartment, you hadn’t said a word over the phone but every once and a while he could hear a soft sniffle or stifled sob from your end and the sounds felt like a dagger to his heart.

Jung Hoseok. The two of you had become fast friends ever since the night he had met you at the bar where you used to hang out with Joy and Jihyo.

Jihyo would constantly talk about his classmate who also became her close friend and she had described him as someone who was always friendly and easygoing and that was certainly accurate as he had easily managed to break down the walls you normally built up around new people.

And soon, your chats at the bar grew into coffees before classes at the campus, which soon became watching movies on his or your couch while eating take-out on your days off.

He felt like a brother to you.

You didn’t have many friends outside of Joy and Jihyo. Or at least not the kind you could hang out with outside the prison walls of college. So, it was nice to have someone like him in your life.

As Hoseok pulled into the empty library parking lot and hurried across the street, he saw you almost immediately. Leaning up against the wall, you had your legs pulled tightly against your chest and your face buried in your knees. As you heard him approach, you sunk even deeper into yourself as if you were trying to disappear completely.

Slowing to a stop, Hoseok crouched down a few feet away from you. Calling out softly, he said, “Y/N, it’s just me. You have nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

You relaxed slightly, the tension easing out of your shoulders, but you still hid your face. “It’s okay, darling. No one will hurt you again, not while I’m around. I swear, but please can you let me see what happened? I need to see how bad it is.”

It took almost a full minute, but you cautiously peered up at him with a haunted look that sucked the air from Hoseok’s lungs.

Your lipstick was smeared across your split, bloody lip and down the side of your chin. Black trails of mascara dripped down your cheeks from the tears you had been crying, he also noticed your cheek near the bloody lip was red and a little bit swollen. Both your top and your skirt had been torn apart and one of your earrings appeared to have been ripped out. He could see a dozen different emotions cycling through your face: fear, relief, sadness, helplessness, gratitude, shame, pain.

“Oh, love,” he muttered under his breath as he straightened up and slowly began to approach you.

Without a word, he slid down the wall until he was seated beside you and the two of you just stared into the darkness of the night. Finally, after about five minutes of just sitting in silence, Hoseok whispered, “Are you alright?”

Still not looking him in the eye, you murmured, “Can you just take me home?” Your voice was hoarse and cracking, probably damaged from screaming for help.

“Of course, whatever you need.” Hoseok stood then offered you his hand.

You pulled back slightly, eyeing his hand as if it were a snake about to strike. The sight of you scared to even touch him, made Hoseok’s heart sink even further.

It wasn’t right. Not coming from the girl who would jump on his back in public and make him give her a piggyback ride. Who would idly run her fingers through his hair while his head rested in her lap during a movie. Yet now, just the thought of taking his hand seemed to terrify you.

Without moving his hand any closer or farther away, Hoseok said, “It’s okay, love. If you don’t want to take it, you don’t have to. I’m here to help any way I can. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Hesitating for a moment longer, you finally cautiously placed your left hand in his outstretched right one. He gently wrapped his fingers around yours and slowly rubbed his calloused thumb over the back of your hand as he pulled you to your feet with a reassuring smile.

You stared down at your hands for a minute but then your bottom lip began to tremble. Without warning, you dove into Hoseok’s chest, wrapping your arms around his frame as you began to sob. He slowly returned the embrace, ready to back off at the slightest sign that you were uncomfortable. But you just buried yourself deeper into him.

He began rubbing your back, whispering softly that it was going to be okay. He rested his chin on the top of your head, feeling your sobs vibrating in his jaw. He had never seen you cry before this. Not even to shed a tear at a sad movie or when you dislocated your shoulder in the gym. And now seeing you fall apart in his arms was almost too much for Hoseok to bear.

When your tears finally subsided, he tried to lead you to his car. But when you tried taking a step, you hissed loudly and fell into him. Glancing at your foot, he saw your ankle was swollen to almost twice its normal size. So, he simply scooped you up in his arms and carried you across the street.

As he sat you down in the passenger seat of his car, you once again pulled your knees into your chest and curled up into a tight ball. Hoseok had a blanket in the back seat that he brushed off and draped over you. Then he got into the driver’s seat and took off for your apartment.

Neither one of you spoke the entire ride. Occasionally, he would glance over at you out of the corner of his eye, but you remained motionless, just staring out the window. And even when he stopped the car in your building parking lot and lifted you out of your seat, you still just stared blankly ahead.

He was able to get you to dig your keys out of your pocket, but it was still an almost robotic movement as your eyes remained lifeless and glazed.

Once inside your apartment, Hobi wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Should he place you in your bed so you could get some sleep? Help you take a shower and rinse off your blood? Should he sit you at the table and try to get you to eat something?

Finally, he decided to place you down on the couch so he could patch up your injuries first. He had grabbed the first aid kit from your bathroom. Having lived in your apartment for a few weeks last summer, he knew his way around and where you used to place those kinds of things. He began to lay out the bandages and disinfectants on your coffee table. Then he went to your freezer and grabbed two bags of frozen vegetables.

When he returned to the couch, he handed one to you. “Here. Place that over your cheek. It’ll help with the swelling.” He then used some of the gauze to wrap the other bag of vegetables around your ankle.

As you placed the frozen bag on your face, the cold seemed to rouse you from your state of shock. You seemed slightly more alert than you had been in the car. So, while he opened a disinfectant wipe to clean off your face, Hoseok muttered, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You winced as the wipe dabs at your busted lip, but you whispered, “It was just some drunk asshole I remember seeing at the campus. He never talked to me, but I kept seeing him leering at me. He never actually tried to approach me until now, so I didn’t think much about it.”

He nodded and sighed deeply. “Where are the girls? I’ve told you again and again, it is too dangerous to be going to a college party alone,” Hoseok said, finishing cleaning your lip.

“I know, I just needed to get some stress away, and Joy and Jihyo were busy today. I knew some friends would be there, so I just decided to go.”

Jungkook. You went there because you wanted to see Jungkook, although you were never going to admit it out loud.

You also weren’t going to admit that the first person you looked for help right after the attempt of assault was him, but you weren’t able to find him anywhere at the party and you just wanted to get the fuck out of that house.

You’d already turned lots of people’s attention on your looks, which you hated to even think about. People were probably already gossiping. You remember Anyra and Taehyung’s horror faces as soon as they saw you, you didn’t even give them time to ask what had happened to you as you quickly ran off.

You probably should message Anyra later to explain yourself. You don’t even understand how you ended up in this fucked up situation.

“You could have called me. I would’ve gone with you.” Hoseok cut your thoughts as he started wiping some of your ruined makeup off your cheeks.

“I didn’t want to bother you; I remembered you told me that you wanted to stay in this weekend.” The words were spoken so softly, Hoseok almost didn’t hear them.

“Darling, you’re never a bother. You know that. I just want you to be safe. I need you to be safe.” He reached for your right hand, but you flinched and grunted in pain as he touched it.

Examining it closer, he saw, like your ankle, it was swollen not as much but it was probably sprained. With a sigh, he pulled out more gauze and began to wrap your wrist.

As you shifted to allow him a better angle, your torn shirt slid open. You quickly readjusted it, but a terrible thought occurred to Hoseok.

He cleared his throat and looked around the room nervously. “Listen, I don’t really know how to ask this, but it’s important. Did he...I-I, mean, I saw your clothes were torn….so did he... do anything to you, you know…in that way.”

You ducked your head in embarrassment but shook it slightly. “No. He tried but….” You just shook your head again.

Hoseok let out a small sigh of relief. It was bad enough what that asshole did, but if he had been able to go through with his intent... No, his blood boiled just thinking about it.

You nudged him slightly in the side and his attention snapped back to you. He realized he had been clenching his fists so hard, one or two of his nails had actually broken his skin, leaving small crescent moon shaped cuts on his palms. Clearing his throat, he turned his focus back to your arm.

As he finished wrapping your wrist, he nodded at your fingers. “Does whatever happened to your wrist have to do with why your knuckles are all bruised up?”

“Yeah, I did what Jiji taught me. I punched the guy in the throat.”

Jihyo had attended a self-defense training a few years ago and she constantly asked to practice with you and Joy whatever she had learnt. She always said, “You never know when a girl would need to use her fists to protect herself”. And how right she was.

Hoseok chuckled proudly. “Really? Good girl.”

“Yeah, but that’s when he hit me in the face, the fucker reacted faster than I thought.” The smile dropped from Hoseok’s face as he watched you move the bag of vegetables and tenderly touch the bruising around your left cheek. “We started struggling and that’s when he tore my clothes and twisted my hand, he tried to-…touch me and I-I grabbed the first thing I saw near me, I think it was a lamp and I hit him as hardest as I could with that thing in the face and that’s when I ran off.”

“I’m so sorry, love. I really wish you wouldn’t have to go through this at all.”

“Not your fault. I would have been a lot worse off if Jiji hadn’t taught me what she did. I’ll have to thank her later for that.” You glanced down at your lap. “And thanks for everything tonight, Hobi. I-I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come to get me.” Your voice was growing thick with tears once again.

“Anytime. I’m always here for you.” Hoseok squeezed the fingers of your uninjured hand tightly before saying, “Well, all good to go. Just give it a few days, and you should be good as new.”

Hoseok silently cursed himself for his choice of words. While physically you might be better in just a few days’ time, he knew that the emotional and mental scars created tonight might never really go away. “Um, uh, is there anything else I can do for you right now? Anything I can get you?”

“Can you just……just hold me for a while?” you whispered softly as your voice broke a little.

“Of course, love. Whatever you need.”

Next day morning, Jungkook was on his way to the field, to meet his friends as usual. Jin, Taehyung and Yoongi would probably be already there. Jimin hasn’t shown up since he got into the fight with Jungkook. They haven’t talked since then.

Which made Jungkook think how everything got so messed up during the last few months. Not only he ended up punching one of his oldest and best friends – although Jimin totally deserved it – but he also managed to fuck things up with you.

Last night he almost couldn’t even sleep, thoughts of you and that guy in the party flooded his mind. He knows you’ve probably slept with him. And maybe you were probably still in his arms.

He hated to think that you were with someone else, he tried not to think of it but failed miserably every single time. He knew he couldn’t demand anything from you, not when you ended things with him. And to begin with, you weren’t even exclusive when you were ’together’.

He should’ve apologized earlier.

He knew he was being unreasonable when he treated you like shit the other day. If it weren’t because you called him and interrupted his shenanigans with that girl in his car the other day, he probably would have slept with her too. He couldn’t blame you for sleeping with someone else.

Maybe he even pushed you to sleep with that guy. He never acted as petty as last night. He wasn’t even listening what Seulgi was saying to him at the party, she was probably trying to get laid – as usual – but he wasn’t in the mood, not when his mind was elsewhere. On you.

But when he saw you with Mingyu, he couldn’t help it. He got so angry. He was the one that should have danced with you at that party, not that guy. You made him feel all sort of things that he never felt before. This was beyond frustrating.

As he walked through the field, he could see from a far his friends were engaged in a conversation. Anyra was there too.

“Yeah, I talked with Y/N about what happened last night, she texted me back a few minutes ago.” Jungkook heard Anyra talking.

Oh, no. The last thing he needs is everyone talking in front of him about who you screwed with last night.

“Please. I don’t want to hear who Y/N slept with.” Said Jungkook with a sour expression on his face.

Anyra and the other guys turned their heads to Jungkook with furrowed eyebrows.

“Did someone drop you on the head when you were a baby?” said Yoongi with his arms crossed over his chest and his usual cold tone.

Taehyung intervened seeing Jungkook’s confused face, he realized he might not know what happened since he left the party earlier. “Wait. Do you not know what happened to Y/N yesterday?”

Jungkook felt like his blood ran cold all of the sudden. “What the fuck are you talking about? Did something bad happen to her?”

His friends looked at each other. A few seconds of silence followed.

“Guys, can someone tell me what the fuck is happening?” Jungkook insisted.

“Calm down, Kook” Jin sighed as he explained “A guy at my party tried to assault her, she fought with him and managed to escape.”

“Poor Y/N, she looked li-“ Taehyung stopped talking as he saw Jungkook leaving “Hey! I’m talking! Where the fuck are you going Jungkook?”

“I forgot I had an essay to write. See you later guys.”

All his friends started laughing. They obviously knew he was lying.

“He hasn’t written an essay in his entire life.” Yoongi pointed out as he chuckled.

“I bet the essay’s name is Y/N.” added Anyra teasingly.

Taehyung watched his friend running towards his car. “He’s so whipped, he just doesn’t want to see it.”

Hoseok had stayed the night with you to make you company, he knew you were still pretty shaken up about last night’s events. Joy and Jihyo also came to your place last night as soon as Hoseok told them what had happened, and they decided to stay with you too.

The girls both had compromises this morning that they couldn’t miss and after a long hour of convincing them that you were okay and that they should go, they did.

You felt lucky and proud of the friends you made. You might not have a lot of friends, but they were without a doubt, the best that you could ever had.

You were watching Netflix on your couch when Hoseok came back with a pizza box you easily recognized in one of his hands and a convenience store bag in the other.

“You got us pizza from Hierin’s? Ohhhh yeessss, you know how much I love that pizza.”

Hobi chuckled. “It wasn’t me. Guess someone left it at your doorstep. I thought you might have asked for a delivery.”

With furrowed brows you said “Huh? No. I didn’t. Who would do that?”

“Maybe Jungkook. I’m pretty sure I saw him parked at the front of the building.”

Jungkook? What the hell was he doing here? Maybe Taehyung and Anyra told him something about what happened yesterday. Most likely Taehyung opened his big mouth.

You immediately went to check over your window and it was indeed Jungkook’s car that was parked in front of your building entrance. You decided to text him. Last time you had a proper talk with each other was when you said that you wanted to end things, it felt a little bit weird texting him again.

Y/N: Hey, where are you?

Few seconds later his response came in.

JK: Hey. I’m at the bar near the campus having a beer with the guys and some girls. What’s up?

Liar. You chuckled seeing his idiotic response. Was he patrolling the area surrounding your building?

Little did you know, he was. He wasn’t gonna admit it because he thought it might sound lame and maybe you wouldn’t want him to be there after everything that happened between you two. He also bought you the pizza from your favorite place, he remembered one time you had mentioned it.

Y/N: Home. Just bored. Well, have fun!

Huh? What? You just cut him off like that. Jungkook wanted to keep talking, he was expecting for you to say that you wanted to see him or maybe tell him about last night. He started typing as he tried to think what the hell to respond.

“So, I guess the bar is actually your car.”

Jungkook almost jumped of his seat, his phone dropping on the car’s floor as you surprised him standing right next to his window.

He almost felt like crying when he saw you. You had your lip cut and the surrounding area and cheek a little bit bruised up. He saw you had gauze around one of your wrists, your knuckles were clearly bruised up. Even like that, you still looked like the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on.

He was going to kill the motherfucker who did this to you.

“Uh..n-no, I was just about to leave when you texted me.” Said as he stammered his response.

Your lips twitched. You wanted to laugh at his face so bad. He is really bad at acting. “You are all alone, I thought you said you were with some girls.”.

“I-I was but I was feeling tired, so I left alone.”

It was so amusing to see him trying to elaborate a lie.

You sighed. “Oh, well. You should get going then and have some rest.” Jungkook just nodded sadly. Maybe he was expecting for you to say something else.

As you walked back to your building you suddenly stopped and turned around looking him straight to those beautiful doe eyes and gave him a smile. “Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks for the pizza, JK.”

JK. You never called him by his nickname. It was always either Jeon or Jungkook.

Jungkook felt the way he started blushing instantly at your words. JK. It sounded so much better in your lips.

Have some balls, Jungkook. He encouraged himself. He couldn’t let you go just like that so, he instantly got out of his car and ran towards you, startling you as he hugged you from behind.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so fucking sorry. About the way I treated you, about what happened to you last night. I’ve should’ve been there for you. I’ve said so many hurtful things too. You’re not just a good fuck, you are an amazing person. I care so much about you. I-I just got so angry and didn’t measure what I said, you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Please Y/N forgive me, I miss spending time with you.”

You were left speechless. You weren’t expecting to hear all of those things coming out from him. Your heart was beating 10 times faster than usual.

You looked to your side, where he was laying his head on your shoulder as he kept hugging your body, he looked so damn cute. “I’m sorry too, JK. But let’s not talk about this now, okay?”

Jungkook nodded and surprised you once again when he leaned in and gave you a peck on your cheek. You gulped feeling your face turning red, shivers running down your skin. Only know you realized how much you missed him.

Trying to recompose yourself, you asked stammering a bit “U-um, you wanna come upstairs and eat some pizza?” The galaxy in his eyes sparkling at you as you kept talking “That is if Hobi left anything, he really loves pizza.”

Smiling uncontrollably, Jungkook responded “Yeah, I’d love to.”

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⏤ author's note❧ It's finally here! 😄 It's been a really tough month for me, work was kicking my ass and I barely had time to write, also I'll admit I had a minor writer's block for a lil bit but thankfully that's all behind us. Thank you for everyone who patiently waited for this update! I really really hope y'all enjoy it 😚 Please, don't hesitate on leaving your feedback, reblog, send me asks, whatever you'd like. I always love reading your comments 💜🥰

⏤ tag list❧ @chimsworldsstuff @ahgasegotarmy116 @whoa-jo @aloverga @coralmusicblaze @ericawantstoescape @jk97bam @hoseokteardrop @aiselle90210 @bbtsficrecs

[throneofsapphics]

old faces, part eight 

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary:  you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret. 

Warnings: mentions of death, drinking

Word Count: ~5.6k 

A/N: i’m not too sure about this one, but here it is!

series masterlist

The sun shifted, light hitting you directly in the eyes. You groaned, throwing your arm over your head. Disentangling yourself from your sheets … not your sheets, the one on your bed at the castle. 

Lurching forward in bed, a pounding headache set in, and not alcohol induced this time. 

The hungry look in Aelin’s eyes. Rowan’s hands on your face, your hips, in your hair. Aelin’s hand running over your shoulder, down your arm. Soft lips, canines grazing over your neck, whispers in your ear … 

You slammed your palm into your forehead, like you might shake the memory out - or reverse it.  

Was it a bad idea? Probably. 

Did you want it to happen again? Yes. 

Should it? No. 

You debated all of the possible reactions to last night’s events. 

Pretend it didn’t happen? That wouldn’t work. 

Hide out in the staghorns for the rest of your days? First, Ceri. Second, they might be concerned and come looking. 

Tell them it shouldn’t happen again? The most ‘mature’ reaction, but the most terrifying one to you. The next few weeks would be busy, and with a little luck you could limit encounters, and have time to find the courage to say what you needed to. 

“Don’t run away in the morning.” 

Like you’d run all those years ago. Was that what he meant? You’d run to keep yourself safe. But now … you’re struggling to grapple with a reason why that shouldn’t change. Everything was different now, and that meant you should react differently. Gods, it felt like your life was full of ‘shoulds.’ Everything you should, should have, and should not. If you could kill a word and bury it deep under, that would be the target. 

Pounding on the bedroom door. You’d been distracted enough you hadn’t sensed or scented anyone coming - but it was Ceri and Evangeline, and sure enough the door swung right open. The older girl had an apologetic look on her face as Ceri nearly sprinted in, jumping right up on your bed, flopping down on her back. 

You sent her what you hoped was a reassuring smile, and she only grinned back, telling the two of you she’d see you at breakfast. A nice way of informing her she was expected. 

“How was your night,” you prompted your daughter, and was treated to a full recounting of events. It took your mind off of the end to your night - or the beginning of your morning, and her joy was infectious. Listening attentively, you found yourself drawn into her story. 

“We jumped over a massive fire, taller than you!” 

“That’s impressive.” 

She nodded, “it was all magic.” 

“It was,” you added, smoothing out some of her hair. 

A few hours later, another pounding on the door - not the bedroom one this time. Swinging it open, it was him. Instantly, your face turned bright red. His mouth quirked at one corner. 

“Aelin’s still asleep,” he looked past you to see Ceri, grinning at him but not moving. An orange fluff ball was on her lap. Fleetfoot ran past him, running over to greet the two. 

“I’m glad they get along,” you said, as Halle jumped down, and the two went past them, probably to try and find someone to slip them bits of meat. Whenever you were here, so was Halle. Even if they tried, they couldn’t keep her away. 

Rowan was also treated to a full recounting of the previous night's events, something you tried hard to pay attention to - very intentionally not looking at him. Had he come to make sure you hadn’t run away? At least that meant they still wanted you here. 

-

Rowan was a bit surprised you were still there in the morning. He’d not expected, necessarily, but was fully prepared for you to disappear. Just like before. That wasn’t fair of him, not at all, but it didn’t stop the unwanted thought from popping in. You could barely look at either of them, as expected. 

Still, nothing seemed awkward throughout the breakfast - if you could call it that, the sun was already bright overhead. Aelin looked like, and had, just rolled out of bed. He debated what time to come knock on your door, but turns out someone beat him to it. Apparently she’d woken you up around nine, when the majority of the castle was still sleeping off the night before. You’d smiled fondly at her as she told everyone, before ruffling her hair. 

He found himself scanning the table. Their friends, and court, all in one place. Generally it resulted in some level of chaos, but he didn’t mind it. In four days, guests would start flooding in, and he relished in the temporary peace. 

Five months ago, they’d first brought up the ball to you. In the time that passed, you’d started your work as an advisor, and it had been invaluable. Although once word fluctuated to the librarians, they’d stolen plenty of your time with help for research. 

Too much of it, once they’d noticed the absolute exhaustion, Aelin had a little chat with them. Well, Ceri had brought it up first. Never giving any hint that you’d neglected her somehow - Rowan knew you wouldn’t - just that you weren’t sleeping as much, that you’d stay up half the night with books. Your daughter had always been skilled at sneaking around, and she’d only gotten better. 

“Ceri told me you spoke to the librarians,” you said casually, glancing up from the papers you were studying. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.” 

Aelin snorted, “they’d run you down to the bone if you let them.”

You would be ‘on-call’ during the week of meetings, but not ‘required’ to attend them, like the rest of the court advisors.

It happened this year several countries outside of Erilea would attend. That was confirmed before your arrival in Orynth, but Ceri’s appearance - and your own, would add an extra layer of interest. Anyone with two eyes could see who Ceri was related to, and he wouldn’t deny her anyway. 

He’s certain people know of her by now, but seeing and knowing are two very different things. He hated it, but it would be good to note who asked too many questions, and everyone in the castle already knew what to listen out for, and that was one item on the list.

Now that Beltane was over, there were several days of different kinds of preparations to do. Ones that were much less enjoyable. 

Ceri was staying for another few nights, but after breakfast you managed to slip away, with Fenrys, before he or Aelin could catch up to you. 

-

“Tell me what happened last night,” Fenrys demanded as you walked through the door. 

“We’re supposed to be working,” you tried to deflect, failing miserably. 

“I can’t do that until I figure out why you’re so …” 

“So what?” you hissed

“Skittish.” Fenrys raised his brows, arms crossing over his chest, daring you to disagree. Unfortunately, you couldn’t. With an overdramatic groan, you collapsed back onto the couch. “That bad?” He took the seat across from you. 

“No,” you closed your eyes. This might be easier to say if you don’t look at him. “Aelin and Rowan kissed me,” it came out barely above a whisper.

“And how do you feel about it?” He asked, and you peeked your eyes open. His expression was carefully neutral, giving away nothing. 

“Conflicted,” you answered honestly. 

“Was it not enjoyable?” A bit of amusement slipped into his tone. If you told him that - it would be a lie, and it would get back to them - he wouldn’t be able to resist making fun of them for it. Maybe if that happened … they’d be inclined to come prove you wrong. 

No. no. no. 

“That’s not it,” your hand ran over your face. “It just can’t happen again.”

“Why?” 

“You’re nosy today.” 

He snorted, “it’s my default.” 

“Fair enough.” 

“You weren’t supposed to agree,” his eyes rolled before his expression slipped back into neutrality. Unfortunately, he didn’t give up. “Why?”

He stayed silent during the long moments you attempted to put words to it. “It’ll make things … messy. Complicated.”

“Simple is boring.” 

“It’s easy. Maybe that’s what I want.” 

“The fact that you said ‘maybe,’ proves that wrong.” 

“What about Ceri? This is probably strange enough for her already” 

“She’s a kid.” 

“Exactly.” 

“So she’ll adapt. Are you scared she’ll ask if you’re special friends again?” You laughed, it wasn’t that funny, in fact the idea of it was horrifying, but it was enough to make you loosen up. 

Once you’d calmed down, Fenrys kept opening his mouth. “It’s obvious you all want each other. Why would you deny yourself?

That damn word again. Are you going to deny her? Are you going to deny him? Your toxic thoughts chose a fantastic time to resurge. Maybe you were nothing more than a way to pass time, a temporary reprieve to their boredom. Something to get out of their system. The mere thought left you feeling dirty, made your skin crawl. You didn’t know if you were capable of seeing them in that light. 

“Maybe I'm a masochist,” you finally responded. 

-

“I don’t know what to do,” she told Lys, collapsing back onto the couch. Twelve hours ago, you’d been here with her. 

“That’s a new one,” Lysandra grinned. “About the kiss?” Aelin scowled, and flipped her off. She hadn’t told her, hadn’t told anyone, but somehow the shifter figured it out and promised to keep it a secret. 

“No,” she gritted her teeth. Although she was a bit lost on that one, something she could figure out with Rowan. One task at a time, she reminded herself. One gods-damned thing at a time. 

First, get you a dress. 

Second, figure out when she can kiss you again. They hadn’t expected you to fall right in with them, although it would’ve been nice. But, the last thing she wanted was to scare you off - and that meant patience. 

Rubbing at her temples, she refocused herself. “On how to get her to go dress shopping.” 

“What’s stopping her?” Aelin kept her mouth shut. 

Definitely not something she’d be spreading around, she’d been trusted with that precious kernel of information. The main reason was to not betray her trust. But, even if you’d given your permission for her to share, she’d be reluctant to. A precious gift. One she’d want to keep to herself. Then again, Aelin had pissed several people off in the past for withholding information. What could she tell Lysandra without giving too much away? No matter what she said, it would imply something, and she refused to lie to her friend. Thankfully, before she could come up with an answer, Lysandra nodded in understanding. 

“Should we ambush her? Take her out to one of the shops?” 

“Catching her by surprise is our best shot,” Aelin paused, “but she’d hate being taken out into public like that.” She grinned at Lysandra, her plan already formed. Emerald green eyes twinkled in response. 

-

You intended on having a slow morning. All of the work you wanted to accomplish for the week was done, and for once you had zero plans. Recently, keeping yourself busy seemed like the only reasonable way to keep your sanity. Two days ago you’d kissed them. They’d kissed you. 

Maybe having zero plans was a bad idea. 

Aelin’s thumb grazing over your lips. Rowan’s fingers sliding into your hair. 

A loud meow snagged you out of the memories, and you mumbled a ‘thanks’ to Halle. At least nobody could witness you speaking to your cat, currently winding herself in between your legs. You leant down, scratching between her ears. 

“What is it?” Yellow eyes stared up at you, before she darted towards the cabinet. “I know Ceri snuck you one this morning.” 

Dried pieces of fish. Would stink up the house permanently, if you hadn’t a small box to contain the … stench. She wouldn’t stop staring, and you caved. A little bit of magic floated it, just high enough for her to lean up, snatch it, and dart off somewhere else. 

Less than a year in Orynth, and it already felt like home. At first, it felt a bit like a betrayal to Antica - to the friends there who’d become family, but … someone could have multiple, you supposed. Part of you might always belong there, but another part was growing its roots in this city, and Ceri was flourishing. That always helped. Your ‘advisor’ role helped too, bringing a different kind of purpose and motivation. Maybe you weren’t ‘vital’ or ‘essential’ to the country, but you felt like you were helping - and that was enough. 

A pulse from the wards showed visitors coming. The feel of their magic told you who, and your cheeks preemptively flushed. Glancing at the clock, Aelin was up early, for her. And dragged Lysandra with her. You didn’t have a good feeling about this. 

The door creaked, and then swung open. Maybe you shouldn’t have told them if it isn’t warded, locked, or before eight in the morning, they could come right in. Still in the kitchen, you sighed and started making tea for them. Then, you’d figure out whatever Aelin’s plan is, and try to keep yourself from blushing every time you looked at her. Halle re-appeared, winding herself around your ankles. 

-

Aelin wasn’t surprised you didn’t come meet them at the door. After all, you’d told all of them that if the wards didn’t keep them out, they could come right in. They’d all taken advantage of it one time or another - Fenrys, most of all. 

“You’re up early,” you commented - water set to boil on the stove. Aelin, on instinct, quickened the process for you, flames heating it up. A flash of surprise, you glanced at the pot, before shooting her a smile. “Thank you,” you murmured. 

“We’ve got things to do today,” she grinned, catching your eye. 

You looked at her skeptically, before asking Lysandra, “should I be worried?” 

Lysandra shrugged, and she jabbed her elbow into her ribs. At least you looked amused, rather than concerned. She waited to broach the topic until you were all seated. 

Halle had hopped into your lap, and you sighed - but didn’t try to remove her. There was a barely detectable smell of fish coming from somewhere. 

“Do you have a dress yet?” She already knew the answer. 

“I don’t,” one hand stroked Halle's fur, but the cat was still tense - staring right at Aelin, as if she could read her mind. Maybe it was too early, because it felt vaguely like the cat was warning her. “Ines hasn’t stopped harping on about it, one of her cousins is a seamstress.” 

“Who?” Aelin tilted her head, and you named the exact person she had in mind. 

“She told me last night she already gave her my measurements,” you groaned, “and I agreed to meet her tomorrow afternoon.” Aelin’s heart dropped to her stomach.

“That’s wonderful,” Lysandra cut in, and your eyes darted between the two of them, bottom lip rolling between your teeth. 

“It’ll be just me, here. If you’re not busy, I could use a friend or two with a good fashion sense.” 

Friend.

“We volunteer,” Lysandra replied, “what time?” 

“She’ll be here around two.” 

Meetings for the morning, some of the final preparations, wrapped up at half past one. They’d be a bit late, but could still make it. 

“Perfect timing.” Aelin noticed the cat finally settled. 

-

The kindest way to put it, was you were a wreck the next morning. In fact, you drank several cups of tea designed to keep you calm, and it worked somewhat. Baking carob cookies helped too. 

At least you knew the seamstress, Lya, from nights out. Unfortunately, she detected some of your nerves. 

“I promise I’ll try not to jab you,” she grinned. 

Laughing, you asked, “how much will I owe you?” 

“I’d be willing to trade instead.” That worked fine for you. 

Aelin and Lysandra showed up a quarter of an hour after her, and you were grateful they’d come. Their presence added excitement, instead of dread. They spoke eagerly to Lya, already familiar with her, about different colors, textures, designs, and you tried your best to keep on top of it.

Gold. That was the color you ended up deciding on, and a small gleam appeared in Aelin’s eyes at it. Sleeveless, gauzy and flowing, and a v neckline - bordering on the hint of modesty. 

An hour later, you’d made it through unharmed. You ended up trading three amulets, and a ward to alert of anyone approaching. She tried to insist the ward itself was enough, but you’d refused. If you were exchanging actual cash value, it probably would even out. But, without knowing, she’d made you feel comfortable during it, calming any nerves, and that was worth much more to you. 

Neither Aelin nor Lysandra commented, but they stayed with you until after the seamstress left. Just in time for Ceri to come home, her three friends in tow. The same friends she’d convinced to attend the local school with her, for the three days a week she went. 

“They really are inseparable,” Lysandra commented as you watched them through the window, running right up the path. Ceri paused twenty paces away, and her eyes lit up, she knew who was here. Maybe she remembered Lya was coming today - and you always baked when guests came over. 

The door swung open, and after a few quick hellos they breezed right into the kitchen where the sweets were. 

“And I thought you were excited to see me,” Aelin called after them. Laughter, and then the sound of a box opening. It took a few months, but they always made themselves at home now - and you loved it. 

Minutes later, they sprinted out into the back garden - going to check on the chickens. Lysandra made an excuse to leave, and it was just you and Aelin. 

“More tea?” You asked, heading towards the kitchen. You needed something to do, because looking at her kept bringing back memories, and being alone with her was dangerous. 

Aelin stood, and caught your wrist as you passed, calloused fingers closing around your skin. Knowing you’d probably regret it, you let her invade your space. Jasmine and lemon verbena. Her eyes met yours, before slowly scanning down your face - pausing on your lips, where your teeth bit almost painfully. 

You were frozen in time and place, stuck and lost as her thumb tugged it free, before slipping between your lips. Your skin heated, heart quickening as you swirled your tongue around it. The smallest touch from her should not be doing this to you. 

Hearing the back door open, you both separated, Aelin with a particularly feline grin. 

-

It was Terrasen’s first time hosting, and Aelin was glad to see everyone gathering under different circumstances. Several people who’d been in Orynth during the battle were coming. Dorian, Manon, Chaol, Yrene, Ansel, Sartaq and Nesryn, a few of Rowan's cousins, and more. 

The entourages from Adarlan, and the Witch Kingdom arrived first. 

In the end, they had to tell Ceri Manon was coming, likely with Abraxos, and coached her several times on what not to say. For example; ‘Rowan tells me bedtime stories about you.’

Gods, part of Aelin hoped Ceri did say it - if only to see Manon’s reaction. 

Still, her mind wandered to you. To that night. She’d only had that brief time alone with you, that moment when your eyes met hers, and she saw lust start to glaze over. The feeling of your tongue against her skin, the sound of your heart pounding, she wanted more. You were quickly becoming a sweet addiction. 

-

They weren’t announcing you were Rowan’s ex-lover, but anyone with two brain cells would put the pieces together. Instead, you were an advisor to their Court, and Ceri’s mother. 

It was probably one of the last things on everyone else's minds, but it was circling around in yours enough to cause a headache. Several headaches. 

“I can do this,” you muttered, in front of the mirror. There wasn’t any other option. 

“Do what?” Ceri asked, and you spun around to see her, lurking just outside of the door. She waited for you to answer. 

“Meet all of these new people,” you answered honestly. 

“I’m excited,” she grabbed your hand, tugging you away. “I’ll get to meet Manon,” she peered up at you, “do you think she’ll let me see Abraxos?” 

“You’ll have to ask nicely,” you squeezed her hand. “And maybe wait until you know her a bit better, Wyverns aren’t pets.” 

Ceri agreed, and you headed out. All you had to do was make it through dinner, and then you could overthink everything alone. 

-

She’d been to Terrasen before - since the battle, but visiting with several others would be interesting. From the air, she’d spotted the memorial to her … to her thirteen. Although she didn’t come here often, each time she did it almost felt like she could feel their presence - could hear Asterin; “Live, Manon. Live.” With some difficulty, she let the memory slip from her mind. It never got easier with time. 

Manon didn’t know what to make of Rowan’s child. The girl was perfectly polite, but kept sending her looks throughout the entire meal. Nothing rude, more like curious. 

She didn’t seem afraid of anyone. Her mother, on the other hand … you’d been introduced at the beginning as an advisor to their court. A few others seemed to vaguely recognize your name.  

“The child's mother,” she asked Dorian later on - keeping an ear open for anyone crawling around. “Who is she?” 

“A specialist.”

Manon scowled, at the small smirk growing on his face. He was enjoying knowing something she didn’t. The King didn’t say anything further, waiting for her to keep asking. 

“A specialist in what?” She hissed. 

Shrugging his shoulder, he only responded when she shot him another glare. “Wards, enchanted objects, those types of things.” Mildly interesting, and she noted it for later. “Ceri couldn’t stop looking at you,” he commented. 

“I’m aware.” 

Manon couldn’t tell from where, but she felt eyes on her. Launching to her feet, she began to search around the room, and felt Dorian’s magic doing the same. 

Then - soft paws, and a meow. An orange cat, bright yellow eyes, was staring at her. Not a shifter, and her body relaxed somewhat. 

“Where did you come from?” she crouched down, holding her hand palm up. It, Manon tilted her head, she trotted over, her head rubbing against her hand. Too well taken care of to be a stray, but she supposed there were always mice to find. 

She scented them first, then three knocks on the door. Dorian called them to come in, and Chaol, Yrene, and a good portion of Terrasen’s court followed. 

Aelin stopped as she saw the cat, eyes widening in surprise. 

“Halle,” she called, and the creature looked up. 

“You have a cat?” Dorian asked, “how does Fleetfoot feel?”

“Fleetfoot loves her,” Aelin huffed, “and she’s not my cat.” 

Sure enough, the cat spotted Yrene and bounded towards her - like greeting an old friend. “Or my cat,” Yrene said, but still bent down to scratch between its ears. “How did you end up all the way out here?” Another meow, and a purr.

“Yrene,” Chaol cleared his throat. 

She glanced up at him, to find most of the room staring at her. “She’s part Baast cat, I didn’t know any lived outside of the Torre. “Or that they mixed with other kinds.” 

“It’s almost like she knows you,” Aelin looked between them. 

“Well, they’re certainly not normal cats. To offend one is to insult them all, it's best to stay on their good side.” 

“She’s y/n’s cat,” Rowan finally said. With a swish of a fluffy tail, the creature trotted off through the still open door. Ceri’s mother is getting more interesting. “I should warn you,” he fixed his gaze on her, “Ceri’s recently -” 

“It’s not recent,” Aelin interjected - and she ignored him, 

“Become obsessed with Wyverns - and dragons.” 

“And?” Manon pushed. 

Aelin stalked over, and flopped down on the couch next to her. “We’re apologizing, in advance, for when she tries to badger you with questions.” 

“I’m surprised she hasn’t already,” Lysandra added, taking a seat across from them. 

The subject changed after that, and a bottle of wine was brought. Manon supposed if she was stuck talking to anyone, this group wasn’t the worst option.  

-

They couldn’t force you to, but had offered for you to come meet their friends, aware you’d probably decline. Aelin might consider them friends, but to you - you’d see rulers of different countries, a lot of which most people in Terrasen would never be in the same room as. 

As expected, you turned down the offer and although she understood, Aelin couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed, even as she tried to imagine herself in your situation. Rowan came up with the idea to warn Manon, instead of having Ceri catch her off guard. It was a smart decision, but it would’ve been nice to see the Witch Queen surprised. 

Gods, Aelin wanted you here - even felt like you’d belong. Aelin was waiting to see if you would be brought up, if someone would ask questions. 

“Your friend,” Yrene asked carefully - not sure who to address, “y/n, she’s from Antica?” 

“She lived there for a while,” Rowan answered. 

“I thought she looked familiar.” 

“Familiar?”

Yrene paused, her mouth tightening for the briefest moment - debating what to say. “Antica is busy - but I still remember faces.” Chaol’s hand covered her own, her friend smiling. 

You didn’t come up again for the rest of the night. 

-

Mind whirling, you tapped your foot incessantly against the carpet. Ceri was nearly asleep, Rowan finishing up a story. Likely, he had somewhere to be after this, and with a touch of luck he’d say a quick goodnight and walk right out the door. 

Instead, he stopped, eyes tracking your movements. Your foot stilled. 

“Nervous?” He asked, and took a seat next to you, still a healthy distance away. Shields of wind went up around the room, keeping nosy ears from listening. 

“A bit,” you admitted - fixing your eyes on the wall. It wasn’t nearly as nice to look at as the male next to you. 

“Look at me,” Rowan said rather gently. 

You couldn’t. A few seconds passed. 

“Look at me.” His words were more forceful, more demanding this time. “For fucks sake,” you heard him mutter, and his fingers closed around your jaw, turning your head. The grip didn’t hurt, but it was firm. He almost looked … worried. 

“Rowan, I'm fine.” 

Two fingers tapped together, he caught it. “Don’t lie to me.” 

Shrugging out of his grip, you stood, one hand through your hair. “Fine. I’m a fucking wreck, is that better?” Squeezing your eyes shut, you forced the memories out, back into the past - where they needed to stay. 

Grabbing your arm, he tugged you back down to sit. “Stay at the castle after.” 

It wasn’t a question, and something you’d already agreed to do. The look in his eyes … as if he was saying it for his own reassurance. 

Your throat bobbed, “I will.” 

Rowan’s hand slid down your arm, stopping to squeeze your hand. “Good.” 

-

The next morning, over breakfast, Ceri finally cracked. 

“I’ve heard all about you,” she told Manon. In the rush of everyone getting seated, they hadn’t noticed she was directly across from the Witch. 

Rowan braced himself. 

“Really?” Manon paused, putting her fork back down and giving her full attention. Aelin may have killed all of the Gods, but he still prayed. 

She hummed, “I want to be a Wyvern-rider,” he could tell she was holding her tongue - avoiding saying and a witch. She’d been very upset when they had to tell her Witches were born, not made. 

“I can take you on Abraxos.” The entire table went silent. 

“Absolutely -” Aelin started, he was still in shock that she'd even offered. He glanced at you, on Ceri’s right. Your shoulders had tensed, but you weren’t protesting. 

“Yes please, that would be amazing,” eyes identical to his own lit up in pure joy and excitement. 

Manon’s mouth briefly curled up at one corner, “then it’s settled.” 

His eyes slid to you, again, at how your mouth had tightened. Rowan watched as Manon met your gaze, and you held her stare for a few moments, before nodding almost imperceptibly, before nudging your head towards him.

Wanting him to agree as well. Very briefly, you looked at him.

Ceri had tracked the silent conversation, and now stared at him with pleading eyes. Shit. 

He looked at Manon instead - more like glowered, enough Aelin stomped on his foot. 

A silent stare said; anything happens to her and I'll destroy you.

Manon rolled her eyes, but her mouth indented at the corner. Was he really about to trust her to take her daughter on a wyvern? 

With you already agreeing, and Ceri likely to throw a fit if he disagreed, the decision was already made for him. 

-

The next morning, at dawn, a small crowd gathered as Ceri trailed Manon, approaching Abraxos. You were on edge, and this was insane, but a dream came true for your daughter. Maybe it wasn’t entirely fair you left the final decision on Rowan, but in your defense Manon looked at you first. 

You’d always been good at reading people, and animals, and this was the safest way possible. Plus, a hawk would be trailing them - wind prepared to slow her down if anything happened. 

Abraxos seemed to like her, and Manon explained everything, answering all of her questions. Honestly it seemed to surprise everyone around you as well. It was all she’d talked about last night, and it took some convincing to get her to actually go to sleep. 

You could’ve sworn little screams of joy were heard over the city as they did a loop around the castle and surrounding areas, a white tailed hawk trailing after them. 

Ten minutes, but possibly the longest ten minutes of your life. 

-

You fidgeted with your gown. Gold and elegant, Lya had really outdone herself. It was nothing like the last one, and you were grateful for it. Even then, part of you still wished your parents were here with you. 

“There’s going to be several guards watching over Ceri, all night,” Fenrys said, appearing behind you in the mirror. He’d told you this before - probably dozens of times by now, like he needed to beat it into your head that you were allowed to enjoy yourself. Still, you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to tell another person about the last ball you went to.

“Aren’t you supposed to be down there?” 

“I have a few minutes,” he glanced at the clock. “Don’t forget you have to be there too.” 

“You won’t let me.” 

After unnecessarily moving a pin around in your hair, you let Fenrys loop his arm through yours. “Remember to have fun. Remember you don’t belong to anyone.” 

“Obviously,” you nudged him. “What are you trying to say?” 

Voices started filling the hall, and he shot you a sly grin before merging both of you into the crowd. 

-

Ceri glowed. She wasn’t introduced as a ‘princess,’ but a member of the royal household. You were well aware that several parts of the world still shunned children born out of wedlock - especially in Royal families, and seeing her up there made you proud. Proud of how high she held her head, of the confidence radiating from her. 

Although her existence was already known, murmurs still rose in the crowd - just from a few people. A few sharp looks from Terrasen’s court and the Witches, cut those right off. 

The ball was beautiful. Joy, laughter, feasting, and dancing. Gods, just after a few hours you thought your feet might fall off. But as Aelin and Rowan swept across the dance floor, it brought a strange feeling. It wasn’t jealousy sneaking into you, but a realization.

There would never be a place for you there, with them, not with how perfectly they fit together. As far as you were concerned, whatever that night was - physical attraction drove it. Nothing more. It couldn’t be more, even if you wanted it to. Giving in to that same desire … it wouldn’t end well. If you grew attached like that, it would rip your heart out once they realized you didn’t fit, and that would come eventually. 

You can’t speak for them, a little voice whispered in your mind. Likely part of you  trying to convince yourself it could work. But, it wasn’t like you to wait around in denial. 

‘You don’t belong to anyone,’ 

When a witch strode up to you with confidence, asking if you wanted to dance, you said yes without a second thought, sore feet forgotten. When she asked if you’d like to get some fresh air, you agreed. 

In a private corner of a garden, her hand slid around your waist, the other sliding into your hair, you let yourself lean into the moment and forget. 

-

The light hit your dress at all of the right moments, drawing his attention to you. Gold. He knew Aelin must’ve been behind it. You were absolutely beautiful, and each person you danced with seemed charmed. He hadn’t made his way over to you, but he planned on it at some point throughout the night.

Just as he thought he had an opportunity, your last dance finished, Rowan saw you smile at her, watched the witch lead you from the ballroom, and couldn’t do a damn thing.  

taglist: @holb32 @fussel9913 @moonlightttfae @cassianswh0reeee, @reidishh

[mint-yooxgi]

Delectable - Yandere!Naga!Wooyoung

Yandere AU & Naga AU - First Person POV

Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue

Pairing: Wooyoung X Implied Chubby!Reader

Words: 1,453

Warnings: Implied kidnapping, drugging, and dirty thoughts. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Short little drabble for you guys! Hope you enjoy! Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

The Third of The Feral Drabbles

You should be more careful walking in the woods at night, you never know what creeps in the dark. Even I can sense the hungry eyes that follow your every move; you’re lucky I found you first. 

Then again, this has always been the plan.

Your skin is much softer than I could have ever imagined. The warmth that radiates from you is addictive, and I can’t wait to get you back to my nest- excuse me- our home. You’ll be much more comfortable there than on the cold, hard forest floor. Besides, I’ll be able to wrap myself around you better. 

For your protection, of course. No other reason…

It’s not like I’ve been dreaming of this moment for weeks or anything. The feeling of finally having you in my arms… well, there’s none like it.

My reptilian friends always tell me about you. They have to. I tell them to. Ever since the first time you walked through my territories, I couldn’t let you go. I knew in my heart of hearts I had to have you, and that we were made for each other. Though, I’m not quite sure how you’ll react to me. Hopefully positively.

I did save you, after all.

Everything went as planned. The animals listened to me, or well, at least the ones that count. They helped you lose your way in the foliage, leading you right into my trap. 

Or should I say right into my awaiting arms?

It had been a simple plan, really. I’m surprised how easily you fell for it, given how intelligent you are. It’s one of the reasons why I love you so much. Finally, there’s someone to match me at my every level.

Your tracks and path back through the woods had been covered, and then you were chased deeper through the bush by a ‘large animal’. 

Really, I didn’t mean to scare, nor deceive you, but desperate times call for desperate measures. 

I couldn’t have you leaving me again. You’ll understand, right? Besides, I appeared just in time to save your life. Though, I don’t know how much of that you’ll remember. After all, some of my venom is flowing through your veins at this very moment. It’s why I have to carry you home right now, rather than leading you there on foot. I don’t need you gathering your bearings too quickly. You’re not meant to leave me now. Not after all of this hard work and effort I put in to making you mine.

I’ll admit, the bite had another meaning other than just injecting my venom into your bloodstream. It’s meant to warn others not to touch you. It’s my own claim on you, for now, until such a time when you allow me the honour of properly mating with you. It might be a little difficult at first, but I think we’ll manage just fine. Besides, I overheard you laughing with that stupid friend of yours the other day about it. I nearly broke my cover then and there when I heard you teasing him about certain reptilian anatomy.

You, of course, seemed very eager to share your knowledge. Him, on the other hand, kept stuttering and fumbling in his steps. I could sense the heat radiating off of him from your words, and I could just tell his thoughts weren’t very pure where you and he were concerned. 

So, you’ll understand when I say I had to get rid of him. Besides, only I should ever get to be that close to you. You’re mine.

Oh, I’m sorry My Darling, I guess I tightened my grip on you too much just now. I can’t help it, I just get so worked up whenever I think about you. Especially when I picture you in the arms of another.

There. You seem to quite enjoy my hand brushing over your head. 

Dare I be so bold as to caress the side of your face?

…I don’t care if it’s subconscious, I know what I just saw. What I just felt.

You leant into me. You wanted my touch. Perhaps you’ll soon crave mine as I’ve desperately been craving yours.

I should probably mention that my scales are quite sensitive, especially around my sides. Countless nights have been spent curled up in our bed, desperately fantasizing about how your delicate hands will feel all over me. My own touch can only go so far; only satisfy me so much.

Fuck, you smell so delectable right now. This is the closest we’ve ever been, and your scent is already starting to rub off on me. Which also means that, pleasantly, you will start smelling like me, too.

How it should be. How it is always meant to be.

Yep. I can already sense it in the air. The crisp aroma of you mingling so beautifully with me dances on my tongue. Though, that’s not the only thing I desperately crave to scent. To taste.

I’ve only ever caught the pleasant scent of your arousal once on all of your explorations into my territory, and I desperately wish I could say it was because of me. Alas, it was not. It has been due to that friend of yours that one day. You seemed to like him in the same ways he liked you, maybe even more. 

I couldn’t stand for that. He never deserved you. You’re too good for him. You belong with me, and I with you.

What only made it worse was the thought of him touching you.

Good thing he’ll no longer be a problem for us.

No, only I shall get to please you. Only I will be able to understand your captivating body like you’ve always deserved. I want to take my time exploring every bump and crevice. After all, every dip and curve is mean for me. Only I am meant to map out every inch of your body, using my hands, my lips, my tongue.

Once I’ve done that, then the true fun can begin. Then, I’ll finally be able to know every single little touch that drives you crazy, working you up in the best of ways before you’re gushing on my cocks, desperate for more.

Perhaps I’ll even use some more of my venom on you. I’ve been told I have quite a strong aphrodisiac, which only makes every touch that much more sensitive for you. 

Of course, this would all be with your consent. I’d never do anything you were uncomfortable with, or anything that might scare you away. I love you. Besides, I’m your saviour, remember?

Mmmh, just thinking about your fucked out expression as my cocks fill you to the brim is enough to get me going. I’ll have to spend some time preparing you for me, though. Not that I’ll mind at all, it just means more time spent between those plush thighs of yours, working that weeping cunt open to fit all of me in you.

Fuck, I can’t wait to feel myself dripping out of you, your tight walls milking me for everything I’ve got.

You’d like that, wouldn’t you? The feeling of my two cocks buried in that tight little pussy of yours, claiming you as mine in every primal way I know how? I bet you’d love me covering you in my scent, having my come dripping out of you for weeks and letting everyone know that you belong to me, and I to you.

I want to make you come so hard, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you nearly pass out from the pleasure of it all. I want to make you see stars as you scream my name, your nails digging into my back as you pull me closer. I want to feel your legs wrapping around my waist, drawing me into your warmth as if you might just float away if you let go. I want to kiss you breathless, letting you feel my love for you in every movement as I claim you as my own.

More than all of that, though, I want to make you as desperate for me as I am for you.

Oh, I hope my pleased hiss didn’t just cause you to stir. I can get so lost in my own fantasies sometimes…

That’s just the effect you have on me.

Luckily, it does not appear that you’ve been disturbed, but don’t worry, we’re almost home. I’ll wrap you up properly in our bed, and make sure not to leave you until you’re conscious again.

After all, that’s when our life together will truly start.

I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. 

You’re safe with me.

[allsouls-emma]

could you maybe write an imagine with Leon and like his childhood best friend who became his girlfriend and they are just private but he mentions her during an interview and everyone on social media etc turns mental because of that ( for the face claim maybe Alexandra saint mleux ? )

✧The Quiet Confession✧ Léon Marchand x Y/N, Face claim, Alexandra Saint-Mleux.

Hello Anon, I Adore Alexandra so i was very excited to write this fic, Enjoy!

Warnings: Unrealistic Time line and settings, No knowledge of either peoples personal lives and mature themes.

The studio was buzzing with excitement as Léon Marchand took his seat across from the interviewer. The gold medal draped around his neck glinted under the bright lights, a tangible reminder of his recent victory. Léon was no stranger to interviews, but today felt different. It wasn’t just about the race or the medal—it was about opening up in a way he rarely did.

The interviewer, a seasoned journalist known for her ability to get athletes to reveal more than just stats and training regimens, greeted him with a warm smile. “Léon, thank you for joining us today. Congratulations on your incredible win! How are you feeling?”

Léon smiled back, his easygoing demeanor evident as he adjusted the medal around his neck. “Thank you. It’s still sinking in, to be honest. I’m just trying to soak it all in.”

The conversation flowed smoothly, covering his training, the pressures of competition, and the support of his family and teammates. But then, the interviewer shifted gears slightly, her tone more personal. “Léon, you’ve been a public figure for some time now, and your fans really admire how grounded and humble you are. What’s your secret? What keeps you centered amidst all the success?”

Léon paused, his expression softening. He knew this was coming, and while he was usually private about his personal life, something inside him felt ready to share just a bit more. “Honestly, it’s the people who’ve been with me from the start. My family, of course, but also… someone very special who’s been by my side through everything.”

The interviewer’s eyes lit up, sensing a scoop. “Someone special? Can you tell us more?”

Léon chuckled, glancing down at his hands as if gathering his thoughts. He could picture *Y/N* in his mind—her smile, the way she had always been there for him, from the early days of swim meets to the long nights of training. She was his anchor, his constant in a world that often felt overwhelming.

“Well,” he began, his voice filled with affection, “she’s actually been my best friend since we were kids. We grew up together, and she’s always been my biggest supporter. Over time, that friendship turned into something more, and now, she’s my girlfriend. We’ve kept it private because, well, it’s nice to have something that’s just ours.”

The interviewer tried to keep her composure, but the excitement in her eyes was clear. “This is the first time you’ve mentioned a relationship publicly. How does it feel to share that?”

Léon smiled, a mix of nerves and happiness washing over him. “It feels good, actually. She’s been such a big part of my life, and I think it’s time people know that. But we’re still going to keep most of it private—she deserves that.”

The interviewer nodded, clearly understanding the balance Léon was trying to strike. “Of course. Can you tell us her name?”

Léon grinned, shaking his head slightly. “I think I’ll keep that part to myself for now. But yeah, she’s incredible.”

---

As the interview aired, the internet erupted. Social media platforms lit up with fans reacting to Léon’s quiet confession. For years, there had been speculation about his personal life, but now there was confirmation—and everyone wanted to know more.

Twitter was abuzz with excitement. “Did Léon Marchand just casually drop that he has a girlfriend???” one tweet read. Another user posted, “Léon’s been hiding a whole relationship and we didn’t even know! Who is she?! #LuckyGirl.”

Fans began scouring the internet for clues, dissecting old interviews, and poring over any photo where Léon might have been seen with a girl. They found pictures of him at various events with a childhood friend, a girl who had always been in the background, quietly supporting him. The speculation intensified—could this be the mystery girlfriend?

Instagram was filled with posts tagging Léon, with fans expressing their excitement and curiosity. “We need to know more about her!” one comment demanded. Others were more supportive, understanding why Léon had kept his relationship private. “Respect their privacy, but OMG, I’m so happy for them!” one fan wrote.

Back at their apartment, Léon and *Y/N* sat together on the couch, scrolling through the reactions. *Y/N*’s heart raced as she read the tweets and comments. She had always known this day might come, but seeing it unfold in real time was overwhelming.

“I didn’t think it would blow up this fast,” *Y/N* said, her voice a mix of amazement and anxiety. She looked at Léon, who was calm as ever, his hand resting on her knee.

“I knew people would be curious,” Léon admitted, scrolling through his phone with a small smile. “But I didn’t realize they’d go this crazy.”

*Y/N* chuckled, leaning her head against his shoulder. “You just casually mentioned me on national television, Léon. Of course, they’re going crazy.”

He laughed, wrapping an arm around her. “Yeah, I guess I did. But I’m glad I did. I’m tired of hiding how much you mean to me.”

Her heart swelled at his words, but there was still a part of her that felt nervous. “Are you sure you’re okay with all this? With people digging into our lives?”

Léon turned to her, his expression serious but loving. “I’m more than okay with it. We’ve been through so much together, and I want people to know how important you are to me. But if it ever gets too much, we can handle it. We’ve always done things our way.”

*Y/N* nodded, feeling a bit more reassured. She had always admired Léon’s ability to stay grounded, no matter what life threw at him. And now, she realized, he was offering that same strength to her.

As the night wore on, the buzz online didn’t die down. Fans continued to speculate, creating theories about who *Y/N* was and sharing their excitement over Léon’s revelation. But inside their cozy apartment, Léon and *Y/N* found peace in each other’s company, away from the noise and the frenzy.

“I guess we’re officially out in the open now,” *Y/N* mused, looking up at him with a smile.

Léon grinned, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “Yeah, we are. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing.”

*Y/N* leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Me neither.”

They spent the rest of the evening wrapped up in each other, the world outside their windows a distant hum compared to the warmth they shared. Léon knew that life would get crazier from here, but as long as he had *Y/N* by his side, he was ready for whatever came next.

And so, as the world buzzed with excitement over Léon Marchand’s quiet confession, the couple at the heart of it all remained steady, secure in the knowledge that no matter what, they would face it together.

[dreaisgrayte]

Next Time | Satoru Gojo x Y/N

Synopsis: Satoru Gojo asks you to attend a birthday party with him and as his best friend you decide to go with him. Little do you know what a little bit of jealousy and courage can do to a person.

Warnings/contains: cussing, drinking, kissing, lusting, crush on Gojo, pretty boy Gojo, dominating and then pleasure top Gojo, mature content {oral sex (male receiving), fingering, masturbation, climaxing together, vaginal sex, biting, scratching}

Word Count: 5.2K

a/n: I feel like Gojo possessed me to write this and then I turned him from playboy to practically prince charming. Maybe that’ll teach him not to be so arrogant  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The air was frigid against your bare legs. You couldn’t believe Satoru had convinced you to wear such a dress for tonight. However, he did promise to buy you some beef if you attended the party with him. It’s not like you’d do anything for food, but rather anything for good food. You didn’t mind the thought of spending Satoru’s money either. 

What were you going to do by yourself in the corner? Satoru Gojo was an heir to a wealthy corporation, part of the high life. You just so happened to befriend him when he was slightly smaller, not as arrogant, and way cuter. Your eyes wander over to his tall stature, taking in the way the black silk-collared shirt billowed out around his abdomen. The shirt tightened around his muscular arms, almost hiding the expensive watch around his wrist. Your eyes trail back up his arm and admire how the deep-cut neckline exposed just enough of his chest to make you wonder what he’d look like without the shirt. He had tucked it into a pair of nice black dress pants that elongated his already mile-long legs. A simple pair of dress shoes finished up the outfit that honestly could buy you a nice apartment. 

“What’cha lookin’ at bug?” His smooth voice fills your ears and your eyes dart up to meet his electric blue ones. Were you checking him out? Did he notice? Fuck. You put an innocent smile on your lips and turn away from him. 

“Just wondering if there should ever be a budget put on beef. I mean, should we try to limit such a majestic thing?” You can feel the laugh before it slips out of his mouth. It twangs against your ears and you can’t help that your eyes are drawn to the sight of it. His white hair falls into his face and he runs a hand through it, a smile dawning on his lips once he’s done laughing. 

“Well, with the favor you’re doing me tonight, I’m thinking about taking you straight to the cow farm.” Your brows furrow to look at him. Ah, this was your chance to tease him. 

“Was that a fat joke?” You feign offense and gasp. Satoru moves closer to you and places a warm hand on the exposed part of your shoulder. His eyes flit around all of you and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you nervous. Sure, he was arrogant, stupid, and really annoying, but he also appeared in your dreams commanding you to do things to yourself. You bite your lip and look into his eyes. 

“Nope, just thought you’d want to see all the families you're separating. You’re basically the tyrant ruler to those poor cows.” Gojo pouts and then spins you around. You don’t have time to react before he’s leaning against you. “But don’t worry, I’m your evil sidekick. Anything you wish, it’s my command.” 

You wish you could see his face right now, but feeling his breath against your neck is enough to send shivers down your spine. Your breath feels like it’s sputtering to a stop as he returns to your side. You don’t dare look at him, because you know if you did he’d surely see the blush spreading on your cheeks. 

“Yeah… it’s good you know who’s in charge here.” You mutter, more eager than before to get the night done with. 

“Well, madame, we’re here.” You look up to find a tall building with lights shooting into the sky from the roof. Regret shoots into your veins. You’d be left all alone up there watching Gojo get hit on and possibly accepting the advances. He was incredibly popular, too popular. It was annoying. He could probably sense your hesitation, he was good at reading what you were thinking. “You sure you still want to do this?” He moves to stand in front of you, between your body and the building, almost like he was trying to block it from your view. You blink up at him, unaware of how close he actually was. You could smell his expensive cologne distinctly now. You could feel the warmth from his body radiating like small tendrils toward you. He oozed wealth and lust, something you could never live up to. That’s why he only appeared in your dreams and not on your doorstep. 

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.” You laugh off your anxieties, the pressure of going to a party where you only knew one person weighing on your shoulders. It’s then that Satoru does something unexpected, he reaches down to grab your hand. 

“Just stay by my side, I’ll make sure you’re not left alone.” Your eyes widen at the way his touch made your chest heave, butterflies erupting in your stomach and rising to your throat. Suddenly you feel stupid for thinking Satoru would leave you behind. He was well aware of how you felt in big crowds, especially around people you didn’t know. He was your friend, after all, he cared about you. 

“I’m depending on you Satoru.” You whisper, daring to look into his eyes as you say those words. A flicker of emotion passes through his eyes and his grip on your hand tightens. You both walk into the immense building and you find a pristine interior, one built specifically for the wealthy to see. The floors were white marble with gold swirls in them and clean enough that you could see a blurry reflection of Satoru and yourself. Off to the far right, down some stairs was a long desk with beautiful women standing behind it. They had smiles plastered on their face and rosy cheeks from spotting Satoru. Plants decorated the empty spaces of the main floor and brought a sort of colorful life into the building. 

“Welcome to Versailles! The hotel of your dreams! What can we do for the both of you?” One of the women with dark long hair chirps. So it’s a hotel? What’s with the name? Makes it sound too grand for you to be standing with this man holding your hand. 

“We’re here for the gathering in the penthouse,” Satoru says with that charming smile of his. One of the other workers nearly melt at the sight. You know the feeling all too well. 

“Ah, of course! And will you be staying the night for the premium breakfast? There will be an array of pastries, American breakfast items, beef-”

“Yes.” You interrupt and Satoru glances at you with slightly wide eyes but a grin brings up the corners of his mouth. The woman looks at you for the first time, taking in your short black dress that leaves little to the imagination. It hugs your curves, round belly, hip dips, and pudgy waist. It also wrapped around your breasts in a way that made them perk up into what could only be described as a heaving bosom. Only one of your arms had a sleeve, the other one was bare. The dress stopped short just above your knees and to top off this experience you’d somehow slipped some black strappy heels on your feet. 

“Alright, what shall I right down for the names?” The woman’s eyes stay on you for a beat before looking back to Satoru. He’s about to reply but something in you snaps. What was so wrong with a woman, who on multiple occasions had compared herself to a generously stuffed dumpling, being with a man like Satoru Gojo? 

“Satoru and y/n Gojo.” You reply with a gracious smile, snaking your arm around Satoru’s. You can feel him tense slightly under your touch. You’re not exactly sure if it’s from your touch or the fact that you just pretended to be his wife. The woman has a strained smile on her face as she types something on the computer and gestures for us to take the penthouse grand elevator. 

Once you’re both in the elevator you let go of Satoru, a shaky breath slipping out of your mouth. It doesn’t help that there's a reflective surface on every part of this damn elevator so it’s not like you could avoid his pointed stare for long. You had about 100 floors to travel up after all. You press your lips into a thin line and brace for impact. 

“I’m not sure why I said that. I think I was just upset that those women were looking at me like I didn’t belong there. Which I don’t. I’m not rich. I also don’t think they thought I was good-looking enough to even be breathing your air. I just snapped and now I feel like you hate me.” You spill out. Satoru closes the distance between you and grabs your arms to stop your rambling. 

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters. You scoff. 

“Good, because we’re husband and wife for the night.” You roll your eyes, happening to glance at his face as you do. His eyes are trained on you and this time you can tell exactly what emotion causes his eyes to darken. 

Lust. Craving. He was hungry. It made you feel like all your desires were about to latch onto this one moment, but then the elevator dings. Fucking great timing you piece of shit elevator. Your stomach dips as Satoru takes your hand and leads you into the long hallway. It had the same vibe as downstairs, grand marble everything. 

“Well Mrs. Gojo, what do you say to wishing a happy birthday and then going back to our room?” Satoru suddenly feels larger than you, towering over you with a presence not unlike a Siberian tiger about to catch an unsuspecting white-tailed doe. You know what he means, he wants to go back to the room you’d requested and…

“What exactly are we going to do in our room so early in the night?” You tease, moving in front of him so he has a better view of your body. You lean over, innocently showing your cleavage. “Are you going to show me how well a rich boy can fuck?” You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth as you say the last word. Satoru grabs hold of your chin and forces you to look up at him. 

“Oh no y/n, you’re going to be showing me.” With that, he lets go of your chin and starts toward a glass door at the end of the hall. You squirm with anticipation as you watch him walk. Was this really happening? You’d never thought about Satoru and you actually fucking. It’d always been a fantasy to you. Something you dreamt about when you were alone with only yourself to feel pleasure. In your dreams, Gojo would watch you with those eyes and order you to show him how you pleasure yourself. “You coming?” Satoru questions from the door. You perk up and catch up to him. 

“Yeah, hopefully fucking sooner than I think.” You mumble as you pass through the door and you’re instantly met with the smell of good food. Soft jazz music plays and from what you can see there are spotlights shining purple lights into the sky. Satoru scoops your hand up and guides you into the almost all-glass expansive room. There weren’t as many people as you imagined, only about 12 that you could count. The room you’d just walked into was large enough to host 200. The space that lacked people was filled with tables of food, which was practically begging you to walk towards it. Satoru bends down near your ear. 

“I wouldn’t eat right now, I’ll make sure to fill you up.” You nearly choke on your next breath and look at him with wide eyes. He just smiles innocently and waves a hand toward the group of people. “What’s up, guys!? Long time no see.” He keeps your hand in his as he walks toward them. You notice a blonde man with sharp angles to his face, a black and white tie loosely around his neck. Then your eyes wander to a shorter woman with brown hair, she has a bored look on her face. Next to her is a tall man with silky long black hair. His eyes are so dark you can barely tell where he’s looking. Who were they? You’d known Satoru for over a decade, but yet you’d never met any of them. The feeling from before returns;  jealousy. 

“Never mind your dumbass, who is this beauty you have here?” The smaller woman approaches you, her eyes looking you up and down. Rather than downstairs where you felt like the women were judging you, it feels like she was complimenting you with her eyes. Satoru pulls you into his side, away from her. 

“This is y/n.” He grumbles. Everyone’s eyes widen and you look up at Gojo. 

“What? Why’d you say my name like that? Why is everyone looking at me?” He doesn’t answer, instead, the blonde-haired man lets out a loud laugh. 

“You finally grow a pair Satoru?” The long black-haired man joins in with a bellow. 

“He probably cried and made her feel bad. Look at his face. Oh my god, he totally begged her.” He points at Gojo and doubles over in laughter. You furrow your brows, more confused than when you heard they were putting bacon on donuts. 

“Oh, I’m Shoko and those two idiots are Suguru and Nanami.” The woman-er…Shoko introduces. “I’m sorry I made Satoru drag you all the way to my birthday party. It’s pretty boring.” She glances behind her at the empty space and then leans toward you, putting up a hand to block her mouth from the crowd. “If I’m being honest, I really hate people but my parents insisted I have a get-together at their hotel.” She rolls her eyes and a small giggle escapes your mouth. Shoko was absolutely grand. Out of everything you’d seen tonight, she was the grandest. She hands you a glass and clinks it with her own. “Now if you’d excuse me, I’m going to try to forget I exist.” She then downs the contents of her glass and wanders toward the blonde man. You look at the glass and then do the same. Your eyes widen at the sudden sting of the liquor. 

“Did you just down that?” Satoru questions, looking at you with a shocked expression. You nod once, already feeling a slight buzz from whatever you’d just drank. “y/n that was probably straight vodka, Shoko is literally a psycho.” You lean against him, feeling heavy all of the sudden. “We’re leaving.” He sighs. You start to shake your head. 

“Nooooo, I don’t want to leave yet.” You groan into his shoulder. Satoru sighs loudly again, then leans down to your ear. 

“If you keep pressing up against me like that I’m not going to be able to hold back.” He whispers gently in your ear. A shiver runs down your body and you dare to press into him again. 

“What if I don’t want you to hold back?” Satoru sets down the glass he had in his hands and grabs your wrist. 

“I’m going to take her to get some water!” He shouts toward the group, but no one really pays him any mind. 

“I don’t want water.” You whine. Gojo and you go through the door and he quickly presses the button for the elevator. 

“We’re not getting water.” He replies sternly, tapping his foot against the ground. You look at him with furrowed brows, swaying lightly. 

“But you just said-”

“Y/n you’d better sober up because I’m about to start kissing you in the elevator and have you watch as I touch your body in the reflection. Then when we get to our room I want to take this stupid fucking dress off you.” 

Ding!

You both step into the elevator and as you feel your heart start to pound Satoru turns you toward the mirror. Your eyes flit between your flushed face and Satoru’s nearing proximity. “I had a fantasy like this once.” You blurt out. Are you stupid? No. Drunk? Yup. Gojo halts his advances, peering into your eyes through the reflection. 

“You…have fantasies about me?” He glances down but then meets your gaze again. You nod and swallow hard. 

“There are ones where you tell me to pleasure myself.” Shut up, stop talking. “And you sit there, watching me with those eyes of yours, taking in the way I touch myself.” You breathe. He sucks in a breath and shuts his eyes. 

Ding!

“Satoru? Are you-”

“y/n, get in the fucking room.” He growls. You sober up as he stalks toward the only door on this floor. He rips it open and then his mouth is on yours. Frantic kisses on your mouth, your jaw, your neck, and your collarbone. “You’re driving me crazy.” He groans between kisses. You let out a breathless moan as he continues. “Show me.” He stares into your eyes now. He couldn’t possibly mean… “I want to see.” You look behind him, past the small sitting room and into the bedroom with a king-sized bed. You look back into his eyes, a sudden burst of courage running through you. 

“Gonna be honest, didn’t think I’d be getting my beef this early.” You tease. Satoru lets out a low laugh and watches as you walk toward the bed. You plop yourself down and spread your legs. His eyes are intently watching as you lift your leg up on the bed to get a better angle. What were you doing? Is this really going to happen? You push your underwear to the side and Satoru is instantly closing the door behind him. He sits in an armchair, crossing one long leg over the other and leaning back with his dark eyes set on what you were doing with your fingers. You push your fingers inside your throbbing pussy and let out a stifled moan. Satoru doesn’t say anything, just sits there and watches you work yourself into a frenzy. You roll your lips under your teeth and push against your clit where you like it. Your breath hitches as the growing build of pleasure begs to explode in the pit of your stomach. You roll your head back and start to flutter around your own fingers. A strangled noise escapes your lips as you start to see stars. As you crest into your orgasm you feel utter bliss. Satoru Gojo was watching you cum all over your fingers. He requested you do this. 

“Y/n.” He finally breaks his silence and brings his legs down to rest his elbows against them. “Get on your knees. I want that pretty mouth of yours around my cock.” His voice is low and commanding, it sends a thrill of excitement through your stomach. You stand from the bed and complete the short walk to where he sits, watching you with sinful eyes. His eyes sink to where your hand was seconds ago. His cock is strained against his pants and you’re eager to finally find out how big he actually was. You sink to your knees and look up at him through your lashes, loving the way his eyes burn into yours. 

“Did you enjoy the show?” You purr, placing yourself in between his knees. Gojo leans back and studies your face. Despite the pure adrenaline coursing through your veins, his gaze makes you squirm like a child being scolded. 

“I’d enjoy that slutty mouth of yours moaning around my cock, making you whimper my name like the needy little whore you are. I can tell how badly you want me to fuck you, just by the way you softly said my name while you masturbated in front of me.” He smirks and leans forward, grabbing your chin in the process. He roughly kisses you and bites your bottom lip. He leaves you breathless and yearning for more attention. “Look at the state of you. You’re practically begging me to let you suck me off. Don’t worry little bug, I’ll give you what you want.” He husks, moving his long fingers to unbuckle his belt. You feel the heat of desire rush through you as you reach out to stop his hands. 

“Please, I want to do it.” You almost whimper. Gojo seems satisfied with this idea and leans back into the chair. You slide the belt out of the loops of his pants and toss it to the side. His pants unclasp and zip open in a smooth motion. Underneath he wears black boxers, but you run your tongue over your lips when you notice how massive his bulge is. You’d sucked dick before, but nothing this big. You tug on the hem of the boxers and his dick springs forth, nearly hitting his abdomen. Honestly, it reminded you of a fucked up jack in the box. Satoru gazes at you awed by his thick cock. Of course, his cock was as pretty as he was. Pale skin aching for you to take it in your mouth. So you do, mouthing at the tip before sinking down his length. A stuttered breath escapes his lips and it only encourages you to do your best. You use your hand to work what your mouth can’t reach, swirling your tongue around what is in your mouth. 

“Fucking Jesus Christ, fuck, yes, oh my god y/n.” Satoru suddenly has the palm of his hand covering the back of your head. You glance up to find his eyes blazing as he examines what you’re doing. He bites down on his lip as a low groan rumbles in his chest. “Just like that princess, fuck you’re such a good fucking slutty whore. Fuck.” A vein in his neck strains as his head flops back. It’s then that he pushes your head down on his cock. He hits the back of your throat easily and you choke on the sudden lack of air. You feel light-headed but the way Satoru is whimpering as you continue to apply suction to him is making you slick with anticipation. His legs start to shake. “Come on y/n, make me cum, yes, you fucking slut. God, you’re so fucking good at that.” He growls, stuttering breaths heaving from his chest. He squeezes his eyes shut and you feel the warmth of his cum fill your mouth. He keeps your head down on his cock as he rides out his crest. When his hand finally moves from your head you slide off his length. You cough lightly, his cum still on your tongue and in the back of your throat. It’s not like you minded swallowing his cum, he tasted like the cream filling of a pastry. He surveys as you lick your lips of him, swallowing what you can. You look up at Satoru, hungry for him to be inside you. 

“Satoru I want you to fuck me.” Is all you can manage to mewl out, too high from the way Gojo came whimpering your name. His eyes track the movement of your face. 

“Take off the dress.” He demands softly. You get to your feet, knees aching. You pull the stretchy dress off your arm and then down your body. Your breasts allow gravity to pull them against your chest and when you pass your panties you pull them off with the dress. You nearly stumble as you step out of it, the heel of your shoes catching on the fabric. You bend over the unlatch the clasp on both of your shoes, slipping out of them. This makes you a foot or so shorter, which gives Satoru all the more reason to remind you how tall he is. He pulls his shirt over his head, slightly messing his hair. It made him look disheveled and even more lustful. Your eyes drop to the way his abdomen ripples with muscles strong enough to lift a heavy weight. You wonder if he could lift you up. Satoru takes his pants off the rest of the way next, exposing his thick thighs. God, he was sexy everywhere on his body. He looks up at you when he’s finished undressing, his eyes racking all over your body. He closes the distance between the two of you and caresses your cheek. “You are… so beautiful. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that y/n.” He looks between your bodies. Your heart throbs. Was this going to be a one-time thing for him? You don’t know if this is such a good idea. Granted you should’ve thought about that before you masturbated in front of him and then sucked him off.

“You haven’t…” You avoid his eyes, scared that somehow he’ll be able to read your thoughts. 

“What an idiot I’ve been.” He slides his hand to the back of your neck and brings you closer to his face. 

“I won’t let a day pass by where I don’t remind you how your beauty is what makes me the wealthiest man on Earth.” He whispers ever so gently then brings your lips together. This kiss is different than the last few you’ve had with Satoru. The desperation is still there, but instead of frantic, it’s more of a longing feeling. His lips work with yours in a beautiful tandem. His words echo in the back of your head as he moves his kisses to your neck. You can’t help but to moan as he sucks on the soft skin of your neck. He licks at the swollen marks he leaves and you can feel just how turned on he is. “Is it okay for me to mark you up?” His beautiful blue eyes look up at you through his lashes, almost innocently asking a question. Gone is the lust but replaces by tender desire. 

“Yes.” You whisper with a light moan. “I want everyone to know I’m yours.” Something in Satoru snaps and he backs you up until the back of your knees hit the bed. You plop into the soft mattress with a slight gasp. Gojo stands before you, peering down at you, scanning your body. You allow yourself to enjoy the view as well, how every inch of his body seems to be sculpted from the marble on the floor. 

“Are you okay with this?” He questions, breaking the silence. You blink up at him, meeting his gaze. 

“Yes, Satoru, I want you.” 

His body is suddenly on yours, hands exploring every inch he can find. Your eyes flutter shut as pure bliss takes over your body. He nips at your neck and lowers his mouth to your nipple. He swirls his tongue around your swollen nub, causing a stifled moan to slip out of your mouth. He looks up at you from your breasts. 

“Be as loud as you want y/n. I want you to be honest with yourself.” He then brings his mouth around your breast to suck on the soft skin. A red splotch appears when he’s done. You feel like you’re in a daze, watching through tinted eyes as Satoru massages your other breast with his massive hands. A whimper escapes your throat and he smiles against the nipple he’s sucking on. He pinches your nipple and you squirm from the pleasure blossoming in your chest. 

“Satoru,” You gasp. His eyes slowly roll up your body to meet your gaze. 

“Yes, princess?” He coos. You flutter your eyes closed as his hand dips to your throbbing cunt. His fingers hook into your slit and you buck against the movement. 

“P-please.” You sputter out. Gojo works his fingers against your clit and you start to squirm. “I want something bigger.” You manage to mutter out. Satoru smirks and wiggles his fingers inside you. The friction makes you whimper. 

“I did tell you your wish is my command.” He laughs and brings the fingers that were just inside you to his mouth. He maintains eye contact as he licks them clean. He backs off the bed and pulls you to the edge, enticing a tiny squeak from you. He bends down to fumble with his pants until he produces a square purple package. He bites off the corner and opens up the condom. He rolls it onto his cock, which honestly seemed bigger than before. You watch as he lines himself up at your entrance and sinks into you. Your eyes widen as he fills you up, a sputtering gasp coming from Satoru’s lips. “Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking wet. You feel so good.” He rasps. He starts to push in deeper and you bite your lip at the pressure. 

“Me too. I feel good too.” You mewl out. Satoru leans over and presses his lips to yours, a gentle kiss. You hook your legs around his waist, bringing him deeper inside you. You dig your nails into his back and Satoru lets out a stuttering breath. 

“I’m going to start moving faster.” He breathes into your ear and then while kissing you again he snaps his hips forward. You moan against his lips and scratch your nails down his muscular back. Gojo starts to work himself into you at a faster rhythm. 

“Fuck Satoru, oh my god, yes! Right there! Shit, oh my god, fuck.” You feel your body trembling as Satoru pumps his cock into you. Your vision starts to fade as you feel closer to your climax. “Oh fuck, fuck, I’m going to cum Satoru.” You bite down on his shoulder and he lets out a rumbling moan. 

“Y/n fucking hell, your pussy is sucking me in.” Satoru husks, his movement getting sloppy as he starts to climb the road to his climax as well. Your eyes are trained on the way Satoru strains to push into you. 

“Mmm, just like that. God, I’m so fucking close.” Gojo grabs onto you as you both dissolve into pleasure. Electricity rushes through you and pulses where Satoru is still inside you. He moves his lips to yours and kisses you sloppily. Your lips are swollen from how many times Satoru has pushed his lips onto yours tonight. He pulls out of your swollen pussy and ties off the condom. He then flops to your side and then after a while of you both trying to catch your breath he rolls to face you. 

“I promise I don’t usually cum that quickly…” He avoids your eyes and a stupid smile takes over your lips. 

“I don’t mind, everyone gets excited.” You roll to face him as well. He finally looks into your eyes and all your worries about if he was just fucking you to fuck wash away. 

“I’ll just have to try harder next time.” He kisses you gently on the forehead and your eyes sparkle with new hope. 

“Yeah, now do you think there’s still food at Shoko’s party?” I tease. He feigns offense and sits up. 

“Did I not satisfy you enough bug?” You giggle and slowly sit up next to him. Your head was pounding and your knees brushed against his. 

“I’m fucking famished I don’t know about you.” You nudge his shoulder and he chuckles softly. He kisses your shoulder and looks into your eyes. 

“I could eat a whole village of cows.” 

“Get dressed, we’re making another appearance.” 

[applebottomclaudiajeans]

Dovey x Lesso, 11? 💜

11. “This must be a mistake."

“This must be a mistake."

Clarissa paused. She was only a third of the way through her carefully-prepared speech, and of all the reactions she had planned for, that was not one of them. 

“What?”

Lesso’s face was even paler than usual, and her eyes were wide. She reached out and gently took Clarissa by the shoulders. “Who put you up to this? Did you drink something a warlock gave you? I’ll kill him.”

“What are you talking about?” Clarissa was at a complete loss. She had spent weeks trying to figure out how to tell Lesso she loved her, and this was the response she got? “Lesso, no one put me up to this. I just thought–”

Lesso clamped a hand over her mouth. “Don’t say anything else. Whatever this spell is, we can fix it. You can go back to normal, and we can forget all about it.”

Clarissa let out an indignant huff. A tiny part of her wanted to just bite Lesso, but she chose the mature route and reached up to pull her hand away. Lesso’s other hand dropped from her shoulder. “I’m not under a spell. I’m trying to tell you that I love you. And if you don’t feel the same way that’s fine, but you don’t have to–”

“But that’s exactly what I’m saying!” Lesso cried. “You can’t lo–...” she swallowed. “You can’t have those feelings for me. Not without some kind of fucked up hex.”

Clarissa put her hands on her hips. “Don’t tell me what I can or can’t feel,” she growled. “For Storian’s sake, just say you’re not interested and let it drop.”

“Not interested?” Lesso’s laugh was high-pitched and entirely mirthless. “My interest has nothing to do with this.”

“Your interest?” Clarissa raised an eyebrow. Her disappointment began to fade, suddenly replaced with a curious spark of hope. 

“My–wait.” Lesso stepped back and her gaze skittered away. “Whatever, this has nothing to do with me.”

“I think it does.” Clarissa took a step towards her. “I just told you that I love you and your first thought is that I would only ever say that if I was under some sort of evil enchantment.”

“Because it’s true,” Lesso hissed. “It wouldn’t make any sense–”

Clarissa let out an exasperated huff of laughter. “We run the School for Good and Evil, when has anything in our lives ever made sense?” 

Lesso’s protest died on her tongue. She looked so small, for all the world like a frightened woodland creature. The big bad wolf, reduced to a shivering puppy by someone talking about their feelings. Clarissa’s heart swelled with love, enough to drown out her frustration with this mad, impossible woman. 

“Would this be any more nonsensical than you being in love with me?” she asked quietly. 

“Yes.” 

“Why is that?”

“Because it’s impossible to not fall in love with you,” Lesso mumbled. Her eyes were still averted, gaze firmly fixed on the ground. 

“Lesso, look at me.” When the other woman did not comply, Clarissa reached out and tilted her chin up with her index finger. “I love you. I have been in love with you for some time now. And it might not make any sense, but it’s true. Now what do you want to do about it?” She kept the tip of her finger under Lesso’s chin, unwilling to break that tiny bit of contact. 

Lesso stared at her for several interminably long seconds as every emotion known to man flashed across her face. Finally, finally she landed on acceptance. 

Before Clarissa could react she surged forward, pulling the fairy godmother into a searing kiss. A soft squeak bubbled up in Clarissa’s throat, but it was quickly replaced with a pleased hum. Her eyes slid shut and she pressed forward, sliding her hands under Lesso’s coat and resting them on the smooth planes of her back. 

Lesso froze and pulled back slightly. “Shit, I should have asked if you were okay with that, I know you Evers–”

“Stop talking and just kiss me,” Clarissa panted.

For once, Lesso didn’t argue with her. 

[elisysd]

21. Someday we will foresee obstacles

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Obstacles - Syd Matters

Dear Charles, 

I have a lot of regrets in my life. Regrets of not speaking up when I should have, wishes to have done things differently, regrets of words left unspoken, regrets of not having been enough… But my biggest one of all is to have imagined you and I had a chance. I thought that we would have worked out, somehow. Despite having everything against us. I thought what we have or had was rare and sacred enough to overcome everything life would throw at us. Now, I see that I was wrong. You can love someone as much as you want, if the right foundations aren’t there, then we are doomed to fail. And in our case, we aren’t trusting each other enough. We rushed into things, blissfully and naively. We thought love was enough. We forgot that a relationship needed work. We didn’t fight for it. Would we ever have? I don’t know. 

I wanted to fight for you but I needed you to fight for me too. You didn’t. You didn’t even try to hear me out, you didn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt. You rushed into the first assumption you made. And I don’t blame you, unlike what you might think. I think I would have reacted the same way. And part of me thinks that it is because we weren’t mature enough for what we had. Or not ready. Or scared to fully give this a try. 

I wish we would have met in different circumstances. Maybe it would have been different, then. If you had been just a guy and I would have been just a woman in a normal world. If I didn’t have so much emotional baggage with me. If your life was boring. If, if, if… Would you have even looked at me? I like to think so. I like to think there is something bigger than just you and I and that we would have found each other, somehow. 

No matter what, I’m grateful for you because you showed me that I shouldn’t be scared of myself. You showed me that I could achieve anything I had my eyes set on. You showed me that I could love. And this is more precious than anything. I will always carry you with me. You are bright, Charles, and I’m grateful to have gravitated in your orbit even if it was just for a while. 

I hope you will find that special someone I wish I could have been. Lord knows I wish I could have been that to you. Because goddamn you are it for me. 

Take care. Be happy.

With love, 

Y/N

Charles fumbled the letter and furiously threw it to the other side of the room. He wanted to scream. Tell you that he had been played, tell you that he was sorry, that he loved you, that if he could go back he would in a blink of an eye. But he knew you were right. He hated to admit it, almost ashamed even, but he had never allowed himself to fully trust you. Not because you had ever given him any reason to but because your job had always been in the back of his mind. Years of media training weren’t easy to forget when he was in the presence of a journalist, no matter how hard he was trying to convince himself he was feeling safe and at ease next to you. He had rushed into this relationship, relying on his feelings and thinking nothing could go wrong, pushing away all negative thoughts and all doubts. And as he could have expected it had come back when the first obstacle had kicked in. 

He replayed the fight in his mind. Your confused look and hurt painted all around your face. Your arms protectively wrapped around your body, how you stuttered, how you tried to calmly make him listen to you. He bitterly smiled thinking that he had never heard you raise your voice to be heard. He sat down, his podium and second place of the day prior seemed so far away, and picked up his phone, coming across your smile on his lockscreen. He wanted to call you and he was even about to when doubts poisoned his mind. What would he say? A sorry would never cut it. He closed his eyes, leaned his head against the wall and prayed to find a solution to win you back. 

“You need to eat, Y/N,” your best friend worryingly told you. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“It’s been three days…”

You huffed half annoyed, half surprised. It’s already been three days since you’d ended up here, on your best friend’s couch after a phone call made from the Vegas’ airport toilets, for privacy reasons. Three days of replaying what you could and should have said to Charles. Three days of sulking. Three days of crying yourself to sleep. Three days of mentally listing all the reasons you should get up and fight for him. Three days trying to come up with reasons why you were better off without him and him without you. Three days of avoiding your phone, scared to see his face on your lockscreen and scared of seeing a missed call from him. 

“Is it bad that I don’t resent him? I want to hate him for breaking up with me like that, for not giving me a chance to explain myself. But no matter how hard I try, all I can think about is that it is better this way.”

“It’s not bad or weird. You love him, that’s all,” you best friend shrugged, sitting next to you. 

“I wish I could unlove him. It would be easier. And I would feel less conflicted.”

“Why?”

“Because… a part of me, the rational one, thinks that we are too different, that we didn’t take the time to properly build our relationship, that we barely know each other when you think about it. That we jumped into this craziness without acknowledging the obstacles and without learning how to trust each other. We didn’t try to find the tool to make us work out. But the irrational part of me misses him. I miss the person I am when he is next to me. I feel seen when he looks at me. Really seen. Like I don’t need to hide, he sees right through me. And frankly, I don’t want to hide when I’m with him. I feel brave, I feel confident, I feel beautiful, I feel like I could conquer the world.”

“Your brain is fighting your heart. Isn’t that the usual dilemma?”

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to listen to. They all say follow your heart but I did that once and look at where I ended up.”

“You’ve been hurt, I know. But is it a good enough reason to stop trying?”

“Why can’t you give me the answer? It would be so much easier if someone was telling me what to do…” you sighed, burying your head in the pillow. 

“People have done that all your life, maybe it is time for you to take the matter into your own hands,” she smiled, leaving you sorting out your thoughts on your own. 

Her words kept on playing in your head for the main part of the night until you finally made them make some sense. Maybe you didn’t have to choose between your brain and your heart, maybe just maybe, you could have both. Maybe you could still follow your heart while learning from your mistakes. You knew there was no chance of repairing what had been broken between Charles and you, you could never go back to what it had once been. Not anymore. But it didn’t mean there was no path leading him to you. You had meant it, in your letter, deep down you knew you both would find each other in any other life. Because as crazy as it sounded, you were convinced you were made for each other. 

The next day, as soon as your best friend closed the door to go to work, you quickly set up your podcast’s microphone, played with the lights and put your camera on. A good podcast wouldn’t go anywhere if people weren’t attached to the host and for that, you needed to introduce yourself. 

“Hi all, welcome on Racing for Women, your monthly podcast about women in motorsports. For those who don’t know me, and I’m sure there are a lot of you, my name is Y/N and I’m your host. Motorsport is everything to me. It has always been for as long as I can remember. My grandfather was a Williams’ fan, number one supporter of Keke Rosberg and when I tell you he was his number one fan, I’m not even kidding. He used to have the Finnish flag at home even though he is definitely not Fins and his most prized possession, after my grandmother, was an autograph he once got during the Monaco GP, in 1987, the same year Keke won his world championship. My grandfather used to say he had been Keke’s lucky charm that year. 

Anyway, I grew up watching Formula 1 GP with him, cheering on Michael Schumacher’s wins and being enthralled by how he was dominating his sport. Then there was Sebastian Vettel whom I admired a lot, then Lewis Hamilton… but the man I look up to the most has always been my grandfather and the passion with which he was talking about F1, the tracks, the teams, the drivers… The respect he had for them, he passed it on me. Then came my little brother, Luc. Like any little sibling, he was looking up to me a lot. Always following me around and if I was finding that annoying when I was younger, I truly miss those days now. Especially since he is no longer part of this world. If I’m mentioning that, it’s not because I want to attract pity, it’s because it is crucial to understand why this podcast exists. Luc loved the drivers and we will get to that later, he loved following the races of course but what he loved the most was watching the mechanics change a tyre or engineers instructing drivers to change settings on their wheel. I think he would have studied engineering in hope to end up in F1 one day, if his leukemia hadn’t put an abrupt end to his short life. 

His favorite driver was Charles Leclerc, and when I tell you he was a fan I swear I’m not kidding. Think merchandising, posters, mini helmets, car replicas… everything he could find he was getting it. The only thing he never got was an autograph and to see his hero racing in front of his eyes. As for myself, while carefully watching over him and never missing a race that we were always watching on his hospital bed, I naturally found myself studying journalism, hoping one day I would be on a F1 paddock interviewing those helmeted heroes. 

A few years ago, I had the chance to be accepted in a program in New-York. Truth be told, I would have refused to go if Luc hadn’t been this persuasive. He didn’t want me to miss out on my dreams and on such a big opportunity. Shortly after I left, his health started to worsen. Weirdly, it matched with Charles Leclerc’s lack of performance in 2022. And then, I remember receiving a phone call from my mom as I was about to go to school on a rainy Wednesday. Luc had passed away. It was a very dark time for me from that day until the end of the year. I couldn’t make it to the funeral and I started to blame everything around me. But one person more than any other, I blamed Charles. It sounds stupid now that I mention it, but back then it only seemed logical to me. Luc’s death was a few days after the whole Silverstone situation and since Charles was his hero, I tried to find some sense by blaming him. If he had won Silverstone, maybe my brother would still be alive. I know now that it would have made no difference. I knew that back then too, but I wasn’t ready to face it. 

So, I buried myself in the remainder of my studies and got my degree. Shortly after I came back I had the opportunity to join the Formula One covering service of Canal + and then the rest is history. I’ve worked for them during the first part of the season, in the media pen, in the F2 paddock. I had the chance to interview Lewis Hamilton and I had the chance to meet Luc’s hero. If I’m honest, I wasn’t the nicest to him at first, for reasons you understand now. But my hatred for Charles changed into respect, a mutual one. I think despite the brutality of my questions, he liked that I wasn’t someone who would coddle him by only saying things he wanted to hear. 

 Then, some of you might know it and maybe some of you are here because of that, what was once a professional relationship turned into something more personal. I won’t dive deeper into that because this is not the point of this podcast and if you’re here for it, I will kindly ask you to leave now. What I will say, however, is that next to Charles, I had the chance to witness what it truly meant to work in F1. For a driver obviously, for his family and friends. I had the chance to see how dedicated he was, how passionate, how driven and demanding with his team. But also how selfless, how fun he was, how generous with those around him. There wasn’t a day where I wasn’t in awe of him. 

But I also saw first hand what it looked like to work in a team whether it is as a Team Principal, as a media person, a trainer, a mechanic or an engineer. And I also witnessed what being a woman in that world implied. That’s why I wanted to give them a voice, to give them a space where they could share their experience that I truly believe is essential and precious to all the girls out there who want to work in that field. This is what this podcast is about. And I hope you will love it as much as I do.”

In awe with him. 

Your words echoed in Charles’ head as his headphones were firmly glued on his ears as he was laying on his bed, in his hotel room in Abu Dhabi. He didn’t want to listen to your voice at first, but curiosity had taken the best of him and he hadn’t been able to resist. The episode launching your podcast had brought him to tears. He had never imagined you would be willing to bare your soul like that knowing so many people would listen. He didn’t like to admit it but he might have replayed the moment you were talking about him, a part of him searching for any signs you weren’t honest. But all he could hear was the pride and love in your voice. A punch in his gut. A reminder of how cruel and stupid he had been. 

He contemplated his phone, thinking about texting you to congratulate you before giving up on the idea. A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. 

“Hey man,” Joris said, slowly coming in, a bag under his arm. “Andrea received this. It’s your helmet. I thought you would like to see it, in case there is a default or something you don’t like before actually putting it on your head.”

Charles nodded, taking the bag from his best friend and discovering his special helmet. With everything that had been going on, he had almost forgotten that he was supposed to wear a helmet with all the names of everyone in Ferrari that helped him during his season. It was a simple design but a meaningful one. He took his time to read each name until an idea popped in his mind. 

“Joris, do you have a sharpie with you?”

“Why?”

“I need to make some modifications on that helmet.”

“Oh cute… you don’t have to, you know. I mean, having my name on it would be pretty damn cool but you are already paying me way more than you need to for being your slave.”

“It’s not your name I want to add, dummy. It’s Y/N and Luc. Y/N because I hope that it will show her how sorry I am and that she matters to me. And Luc because… it’s been a while since I’m trying to find a way to pay him a tribute and I think the last race of the season is the perfect moment to do so.”

“Wow… I mean, that’s an amazing idea and I’m sure she will love it. If it doesn’t make her come back to you, I don’t know what else will.”

“I hope so, mate. I hope so.”

Author's note: Two chapters in two day?? Who am I?? Lmao. I know I said this was supposed to be the last one, but... will you be angry if I was saying there is still one left? 😇

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

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[zriasstuff]

Tutoring lessons pt.1- Blaise Zabini x reader

In which you and Blaise get to know each other on a deeper level, which you never expected.

To be honest, I don’t know how to characterize Blaise at all, and all the “Slytherin Boys react” that I read always barely have any Blaise in it, so just run with it :’) part 2 is out too!

“Can we please just take a break”, Blaise annoyingly asks you for the thousandth time. It’s as if he was a little child who couldn’t focus for more than 10 minutes.

“No, we just need to go through one more question, then we can take a break”, you tell him, but that answer doesn’t seem to satisfy him.

One reason why this was so difficult for him is that he never did his own work in class. Hence, concentrating didn’t exactly come easy to him. The only reason for which Blaise was even passing, was him paying other people to do his work for him. It was something you could never imagine yourself doing.

So, you would think that when he asked you to tutor him, he actually started to care about school, but quite the opposite apparently. His behavior made you believe it was all just some elaborate joke by him.

It wasn’t merely today, you’d been doing this for weeks already and there seemed to be no progress at all. You started wondering whether the problem was you or him.

As you tried your best to explain the last question to him, he rolled his eyes resentfully, and signaled clearly to you that he wasn’t paying attention anymore. His head was tiresomely hanging from his shoulders, and he sighed as you went on and on about stuff he doesn’t care about.

“You got that?”, you check up on him occasionally, fearing that this was all just for nothing again.

“Uh-huh”, he responds in annoyance. It was the most unconvincing thing you ever heard. He could at least try to sound interested.

With the amount of time that had passed, in which he cared so little, you finally couldn’t take it anymore. Here you were, making sure a fellow classmate would pass his finals, and he was being nothing but ungrateful.

You shut the textbook promptly, which creates a loud banging noise, and look at the utterly unmotivated person sitting next to you.

“Could you please just try for a second because I’m starting to doubt you’d understand what we’re learning about, even if you tried”, you spurt out. The words coming from your mouth spilled out uncontrollably, it was like all your repressed inner thoughts were finally being said out loud.

“I’m really trying my hardest here, to make you understand and I’ve been getting nothing from you for weeks”, you continued your confrontation, although you started sounding a little desperate at this point. You keep looking at him intensely, while also coming off as extremely frustrated.

Blaise, after being shocked at first by your sudden frustration that you let out on him in a rather unfriendly way, counters with the same attitude right away.

“Listen, I know you think grades are the most important shit, but they’re not. I’m good at other things, and maybe I don’t want to work with you because you suck at explaining.”, he spits at you, gradually raising his voice.

Having said that, he actually got up, ready to leave the library altogether. Not that you minded, but something about this interaction felt unfinished. He still had to explain certain things to you, so you stop him in his tracks by following him and demanding him to stay.

“Just leave me alone, will you”, he sighs loudly, back still turned to you. “And you’re definitely fired”, he adds, quickly turning around and glancing at you as he’s saying that.

“S- Seriously?", you are stunned by his behavior. “How mature of you by the way, you’re firing me?”, you continue, mocking him along the way. “It’s not my fault you’re so stupid and slow, I mean it’s not like anyone else will have patience with you. So yeah, have fun failing”

Blaise finally fully turns to you again and opens his mouth for a second, but no words come out. Not sure what he was feeling, you suddenly start to feel a pit in your stomach building. Maybe you’d gone too far. You could’ve definitely expressed that in a nicer, more constructive way.

You were the only people left in the library, it was late. Perhaps that’s why this interaction felt like it was ages long.

Finally, after what seems like hours of just standing face to face without saying anything, you decide it was time to be the bigger person. Blaise certainly didn’t seem like he was ready to break the ice.

Innerly you know what you said before was uncalled for, but nonetheless every fight is a two person job.

“I- I’m sorry”, you begin, “what I said was uncalled for, and just out of frustration. I just, I just want to know that my tutoring is actually helping, you know.” You notice your voice getting more quiet as you go on, but as you were standing so close he must’ve still heard.

“You know I asked you to tutor me because McGonagall was on my ass, not because I actually cared”, he states.

“I kinda figured after the first few sessions”

Another moment of quietness passes before he goes on.

“At the start I actually wanted to do good, to prove I’m not as incompetent as everyone thinks I am”, he confesses honestly. This was the first time Blaise actually sounded genuine about something, it made you want to get to know him more.

“But after a while, I realized I was in fact hopeless and stupid-”

“Don’t say that”, you try to comfort him swiftly. It was dreadful when people said those hurtful things about themselves, but you know you and your earlier outburst were at fault here too.

“No it’s true, you just said it, don’t try to deny it”

Now you feel even worse. You never wanted to make him feel this bad about himself, and no one should ever think so low of themselves either. In the past, you also had plenty of self deprecating thoughts about yourself, but you tried your best to wash those away. Along the way you realized that you were so much better of a person than you’d ever given yourself credit for.

Quickly, you try to come up with something to make him feel better, but you're afraid you have ruined it. So, honestly, you tell him that you’re sorry and don’t know what to say. Whoever said “honesty is the best policy” better be damn right now you think.

Blaise pondered for a moment, but appeared to enjoy the honesty after all. Same as you, he decided to own up to his faults too.

“It’s not your job to make me feel better, besides I haven’t been the best student either. It just sucks having everyone think you’re the worst”

Slowly, you feel the tension completely dissolving between you two. Communicating was the key after all. Now you knew exactly what to say to Blaise.

“I know it sucks, and you can ignore what I said. But what I can give you as advice is that it’s your mindset that’s holding you back”

“What do you mean?”, he questions, raising an eyebrow at you, not fully understanding yet.

“You keep getting dragged down by all the negativity, so much that you started to give up on yourself too. It’s like you know you’re going to fail, so you don’t even try.”

“So you’re saying I should just believe in myself”, he asks to make sure he got what you said, also seeming rather unimpressed.

“Look, I know it sounds basic, but it’s true, no?”

As he’s thinking about what you said, Blaise sees your point. He did in fact never actually try. Copying off of others. Failing tests, saying he never studied to begin with. Never studying, so he’d have an excuse for why he failed. Not doing work because he’s afraid that if he did, he’d have a confirmation that he was in fact stupid. Perhaps it was really time to change something about his whole mindset.

“Will you keep trying to help me, if I promise I’ll actually try?”, he asks nervously. He realizes he just became more vulnerable than ever. Especially to someone he hadn’t even considered to be his friend before. He was looking forward to being friends with you though, and hopefully in the future he’d get to know things about you too. Before that, you had to decide though whether you wanted to help him.

“Well I don’t know”

“Oh-”

“Don’t you have to un-fire me first”, you joke. You practically saw the relief wash over his face. Looks like he really means what he was saying. Blaise expressed his gratitude for your help, and offered to do something for you too in the meantime. Since you couldn't think of anything, you just told him that tutoring him would look good on your resume too, and you left it at that.

Turns out, on your walk back to the Slytherin common room, that you two had a lot in common too, even if you had differences when it came to your studies. Surprisingly, your guys’ favorite quidditch team was the same, and you had the same favorite players. Both of you also shared the same dream vacation locations, and most importantly you both agreed that Malfoy kinda looked like a ferret.

[daniwib]

Season 8 speculation

Here’s my own speculation on what is going to happen in s8 based partly on wishful thinking but also because TM likes to do the unexpected while also calling back to earlier episodes:-

Chim and Hen both get transferred out to different stations. Chim possibly to the academy as a trainer instead of a regular station. Either way, they’re not at the 118 anymore under Gerrard. The fandom is so focused on what their lives are going to be like working under Gerrard again that I think TM is going to flip things on us and they’re not going to be working under him at all. They’ve both already done that before and they’re both much stronger, wiser and more mature now. They won’t take his shit and so we won’t see it. It’ll be more dramatic to take them out of the equation completely and split the 118 up.

Eddie is in a dark place because Chris is still living in Texas. He’s aware things are not great with Gerrard but he’s not focused on it, he’s just trying to keep his head above water in his personal life. Call back to Tommy saying he didn’t like who he was working under Gerrard – Eddie cannot handle anything else, so he falls into his old military mindset and toes the line at work. Does whatever Gerrard says, doesn’t talk back etc etc. Inadvertently becomes Gerrard’s golden boy because of it though he barely even notices. I’d love for that to cause issues between him and Buck but I think their relationship is too strong for that. But then TM has surprised us all before so who knows.

It takes a while before Gerrard realizes that Buck is dating Tommy but once he does, he starts making Buck’s life hell at work in the small ways he did back in the day with Hen and Chim. Who aren’t there to support Buck, and Eddie doesn’t seem to notice, and so Buck flounders. He’s never experienced constant, relentless homophobia like that before. How would he react? Does he try to hide who he is like Tommy did while working under Gerrard, or does he instead flaunt it? Does it wear him down and make him withdraw into himself? Or do we finally see some real growth for his character and see him standing up for himself without any support from his coworkers? (I’m assuming Tommy is supporting him bts but perhaps not against Gerrard personally. Tommy has his own past demons about the man to deal with).

Call back to 3x16 when Buck says “Yeah, like if Bobby retired. [sic] You know, or one of us got moved to another house, we would still all stay in touch” and Buck’s seeking reassurance that that won’t happen to them. Which they don’t actually give him, btw. Fast forward to the end of s7 and what’s Bobby done? Retired. Sure, he changed his mind and wants to come back but as of now in canon he is retired. So, I’m waiting to see some or all of them transferred to other houses and the 118 be completely separated either physically or in Eddie’s case mentally if he stays working in the same house as Buck.

They did it in Lonestar already and we know the shows have echoed themes before (whumpable chaos coma besties TK & Buck anyone?). The drama potential of it happening to the 118 is enticing. It would affect all of them in different ways and who knows we might even get that Buck breakdown we’ve been wanting for years. There are so many ways all of their storylines could go before we finally get that sweet sweet resolution and see Gerrard get the karmic slap he has to have coming – because that’s something else that 911 loves, dispensing karma to those who deserve it.

I haven’t even mentioned the whole Bathena being homeless or HenRen losing Mara storylines, but I know those will come into play again in s8 and I am excited to see where things go with them, too.

I also really hope that Gerrard was the arsonist and that we get more of the 118 losing their homes to arson (cough cough Buck’s loft) and perhaps even the station itself. Far fetched? Possibly. We’ve had more insane things happen on this show, though.

I’ve deliberately not speculated on the BuckTommy or Buddie of it all because quite frankly I’m tired of the shipwar. I’m content to wait and see where TM goes with that. What I’m excited for is to see how the dynamics of Gerrard and every member of the 118 play out during s8.

[danime25]

Silent Night

ao3 //normal masterlist // christmas masterlist

*Summary: Lars and his real girl go to a Christmas party hosted by one of his coworkers

*Rating: +18 for explicit mature content

*Content/Tags: Semi-public blowjob, female dom aspects, orgasm control, holiday party

*Status: Oneshot/Complete

“Welcome!” His coworker greeted the couple standing in the entryway, “Oh this must be the girl you’ve been talking about at work! Lars has said so much about you.”

“Only good things, I hope.” She giggled, hiding her smile behind the back of her hand. Lars looked at his girlfriend with a smile and nodded

“Well come on in.” Their host motioned for them to come in. They walk into the entryway and Lars takes their coats, throwing them into the convenient pile next to the door. She pressed a hand against his back firmly. While the host and her husband walked back into the living room she whispered into Lars ear,

“You remember our rules Lars?”

“Yes.” He shivered

“Good. Let me hear them.”

“I’m yours. I only listen to you.”

“Yes.” She bit the bottom of her lip as he said it in neediest borderline whiny voice

“I can’t react.”

“Yes.”

“I’m subservient to you.”

“Such a good boy.” Her hand works its way underneath his hair and over his ear. She pulled a tiny remote from out of her purse and discreetly pressed the power button. Lars crossed his feet as the toy inside of him slowly pulsed away. It was too slow to really get him worked up, but he knew it’d be uncomfortable for him when she flipped it any higher. “Let’s go have some fun now, okay?”

“Yes dear,” He replied, pressing his lips onto her forehead. With a gentle graze of her hand across his cheek, he wrapped his arm around her back and began to introduce her around the party.

“I’m going to get us a drink, okay?” She broke away from him and flicked the vibrator up two levels. She looked over her shoulder carefully and saw the way that Lars squirmed as he tried to finish his thought. She grinned as she heard his voice catch in the back of his throat, and poured herself a cup of the communal punch. She came back and handed a beer off to Lars who thanked her quietly. She leaned up against Lars, making him shift again to open his stance up a little bit more. His arm hooked back around her and his fingers dug into her side as she “accidentally” turned the vibrator up one more setting. “Did you want some food, love?”

“I’m fine.” His teeth were gritted as he tried to say those words. “You get something if you need to.”

“Okay.” She smiled and kissed his cheek, “I’ll go in a moment.”

“Okay.” He went to sit down at the side of the room. Just somewhere he could get away with letting his eyes roll to the back of his head and suppress a moan. She stood over him and feigned concern for his condition. He crossed his legs and took a sip from the can. He looked at the can and jittered a bit.

“You’re not doing a very good job.” She whispered, “You want to cum when we get home, don’t you?”

“Yes.” He bit down on his lip

“Then act like it.”

“Okay.” He stood back up and she turned it up again for him. He desperately resisted the urge to rut against the wall. She saw the sweat starting to collect at his hairline and smiled as she kissed him. His lips quivered ever so lightly as she broke the contact. He needed more of her. She still had at least two more levels to go up on the vibrator before she got tired of toying with Lars, but Lars couldn’t focus on anything but his need to have her hands roaming all over his body. Her touch. Her breath swept along his skin. He whimpered and felt himself start to leak into his boxers. His eyes went wide and tried to think of something chaste to make sure he didn’t displease her.

“Oh honey.” She rubbed his back, “You normally last so much longer, but I guess you couldn’t help yourself.”

“I couldn’t…” He whined

“Let’s get back to the car.” She moaned into his ear and he practically ran to grab their coats. She made the rounds across the party to apologize, and said Lars just wasn’t feeling too well. He wrapped her coat around her shoulders and they said a quick ‘bye’ to the host. He walked down the steps leading to the driveway and she turned it up one more level as he made a dash to the car. He unlocked the door to the back and she slid in next to him. Her hand rested in the center of his lap as she leaned in to give his cheek a quick peck. She playfully palmed his bulge in the jeans just to see how close he was to cumming. He let out a grunt and bucked up into her hand. She smiled and slowly unzipped his fly, letting his cock pop out of his pants. She lowered herself so her mouth could wrap around his dick. The warmth of her mouth made him pull on her hair as her head bobbed up and down and back again. He leaned back against the seat more and bucked his hips up carefully. She used her hands to keep his body down, and looked up at him. From the way his moans kept getting broken by needy breaths, she knew he was close. She kept at her current tempo until Lars threw his head back and moaned as he felt a bead of cum drip from his dick and onto her tongue. She swallowed every last drop until Lars was soft again. She pulled away, laid her head on his shoulder and rested a hand over Lars’ belly. He carefully zipped himself back up before wrapping his arms tightly around her.

“Love you Lars.” She smiled

“Love you too.” He kissed her head and fixed her hair, turning it into a beautiful waterfall across his sweater. He kissed her head once more before letting his eyes flutter shut. She’d probably have to drive the two of them home, but he felt safe with her.

[jxfndm]

JEREMIAH FISHER x FEM! READER (ARGUMENT/MATURE FLUFF)

"he hurt you"

WARNINGS - arguing, mentions of alcohol, some mature descriptions, cussing

Y/N

I was heated, I was upset, I was anything and everything all at once. Who wouldn’t be, after being so utterly embarrassed?

"Y/N, what the fuck?" a voice echoed behind me. The house was blasting with music and people were running up and down each corner. We were at the summer house, throwing one last party before the house sold.

Except, what would’ve been a perfect night, was ruined when my boyfriend, Jeremiah, went and fought my ex. Who, I should say, I had not a fucking clue would be invited.

I was upstairs in my room, after I had stomped away from the scene, but of course, Jere knew where I always was.

I turned around, turning face to face with him. His shirt was pulled in different areas, and he was panting heavily.

"What do you want?" I spat, crossing my arms. Jere could only do so much as look at me with the most pissed off expression in the world.

"Are you actually serious right now? One second I’m taking Bryan down, and the next, you’re fucking pissed with me? Without any explanation as to why?" Jere questioned, anger strung out in his tone. He had gotten closer, trying his best to not cause another scene.

"You just fucking embarrassed me, for no damn reason!" I yelled lowly, my fists were tight, and my knuckles were surely white. I was tense.

"How the hell are you embarrassed? He fucking hurt you, Y/N. That asshole deserves nothing but to be punched in the fucking gut." He explained, his hands in the air. "You’re making no sense right now."

I scoffed, questioning "And you somehow do?".

"Jeremiah, there was no fucking need to punch him, or do whatever the hell you thought you were doing. For one, we’ve been broken up for awhile now and he doesn’t give a shit. Two, why risk yourself getting hurt? That was just pure stupidity, because there was no reason for it to fucking happen!" I exclaimed, my mind was racing.

I knew I had gotten him, because now he was quiet. Maybe it was the beer that fucked him up too, but he had never reacted like this, ever.

"Y/N, you don’t understand." he said simply, his gaze away from me. "Then make me understand, Jere. What the fuck did you do that for?" I questioned.

He scoffed, licking his lips.

"Don’t you get it? He hurt you. He hurt the best fucking girl to ever walk his damn way. You were heartbroken for weeks, you didn’t sleep, you hardly ate. That hurt me, because I know you deserved more than the shit he pulled. I wanted you before he even had the chance to have you, and when you started dating him, all I hoped for was that he would treat you the way you deserved to be treated." Jeremiah explained, his expression going soft.

"Seeing the girl of my dreams get hurt by some no good asshole like him, hurt me on a personal level. Because you are fucking everything and more to me, Y/N." Jere finished. His eyes looked saddened and tired. I couldn’t help but feel for him.

I knew I made the right choice when I picked Jeremiah, he’d be the person I would get married to, the one who would father our children, the one by my side till the end.

I stepped toward him, cupping his face in one of my hands. His skin was smooth and delicate, just like him.

"Baby, please. I just don’t want you to get hurt. I get it, but nothing is worth more than having you here with me. Fully here with me." I stated, rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

He looked me in the eye, a smile now pulling on his face. He pulled me in closer with one of his hands.

Before I knew it, he had smashed his lips onto mine, holding my lower waist tightly. I smiled, kissing him back passionately.

The kiss intensified, clearly, the alcohol we consumed over the past few hours was starting to take over. Jere’s hands found its way lower than my waist, his hands now grabbing snd squeezing my ass. It didn’t help that I was wearing little tight shorts, but I was loving it.

I jumped onto Jere, and now he had me against the wall. The kiss became hungry, as we were practically fighting for each other’s throats with our tongues.

A small moan escaped my lips, and it was just enough to excite Jeremiah, whose hard was now rubbing against me. I felt my stomach knot, feeling the need for more Jere.

What could’ve been more was interrupted when we heard a voice at the door.

"Hey, I was trying to find you guys so-", the voice started. We knew that voice, Steven. Me and Jere pulled away so fast, as he steadied me so I could stand. "Uh you know what, catch up with y’all downstairs. S-sorry." he said quickly, rushing out.

Me and Jeremiah were still close, but obviously, we’d have to resume this another time. I looked at him as we both giggled, laughing at the replay of Steven’s face when he saw us.

Jere picked up my hand, squeezing it lightly. He went down to my ear, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine.

"I don’t think I can wait much longer, baby. How about we drive my car to the beach? Let me show you how sorry I really am." he whispered, pulling away to look me in the eyes. I smirked, I loved when he couldn’t resist.

I nodded, as he led me down to his car. The rest of the night was kind of a blur, but it was one of the best nights I had in awhile.

***

a/n - lol not technically smut i dont think, but close enough to start one, but i dont know if im ready for that lmaoo

- j

[tater-tot-jr]

Honkai: Star Rail fans, I’m here to yap. Major spoilers for 2.4.

So, I’m the certified number 1 space china hater. I hate that place, I don’t trust it, I didn’t like its first story arc that much. But holy shit that ruled. That was awesome. It’s obviously impossible to follow up Penacony and outdo it, and you can certainly nitpick some faults, but the war dance arc thus far was super enjoyable to play.

Let’s start with the fucking Yanqing character development holy shit?? Seeing the ways he matured and humbled himself was super fucking cool, and his dynamic with Yunli was peak comedy. His monologue about why he wields a sword was completely awesome, very well done by the VA. Hoyo making sure to let us know that both him and Yunli are literal child soldiers and we should be concerned about that was based. The conflict between him and Yunli was actually presented really well. (I haven’t done the new march event yet so maybe I’ll come back and edit this if I remember) The didn’t really push someone as correct or incorrect, they just showed us the situation and let us form opinions. Yanqing getting some character development was awesome and I love that for him.

The plot? It still had some of that trademark complexity but it was much easier to follow this time around. It felt like events naturally lead to one another and the characters reacted as they actually would instead of just reacting as necessary to move the plot. It gives you a shocking amount of player agency to succeed or fail and I really enjoyed the stakes that came with that. I’m liking how dark some of it is, it’s not crazy but there are certainly some moments.

I love all the new characters, they’ve all managed to endear themselves to me very quickly. Even the characters I was meh on like Jiaoqiu and Lingsha managed to worm their way into my heart a little. Feixiao is a total badass and Moze really interests me. Yunli was really funny and I enjoyed her shenanigans. As much as some of the mechanics and designs of these new characters disappointed me I still found them compelling in the narrative.

And the fucking angst? Hello?? It was peak.

This might be a hot take but I think the shackling prison is my new favorite singular section of the game. I love Dan Heng, I find his lore and personality fascinating and was dying to see some more of it. His VA did a great job this entire patch, Dan Heng is very stoic so it was impressive how his VA managed to portray the general unease he felt being back in the Luofu. He was just normal enough to not have anyone make a big deal out of it but you could tell that something was just under the surface. Then you get to the shackling prison and it just… man. You get to the door and you hear his voice just break. For someone so stoic you hear him overwhelmed with emotions, and it’s so juicy. Wonderful way to set the tone, Hoyo. Then you get inside and wow it’s evil looking in there. The other chance you get to chat with Danny boy before shit hits the fan is just as good. They decided to give me personally a treat with his lines like, and I’m paraphrasing here, “it’s just as cold as I remembered.” And telling the trailblazer they “shouldn’t have to see this place.” Hoyo chose violence with that shit. Also, Fox Boy™️ literally got held hostage and (kinda) enslaved. Incredible.

The pacing of that section was awesome. Seeing Xueyi get destroyed and then rushing down with Hanya was a simple trick but goddamnit it worked. The way it managed to portray that rushed and dangerous feeling without going overboard on the monsters around you was impressive. It was so much fun to watch the mystery come together in a way that felt like both a climax and a cliffhanger somehow. The cinematic stuff was so well done, it was all so pretty. There were plenty of POV swaps but they felt natural and necessary to the plot. I was unenthusiastic about going back to space china but goddamnit Hoyo has done it again. Fuck.

It was just a really fun patch, 2.5 feels so far away…. :(