#so i must hold it and wait
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🍄 is having a bad night which means he spends hours in the shared bathroom
#i have to pee so bad#but i know he keeps his private bathroom in horrible condition and feels embarrassed for me to see it#so i must hold it and wait#ahhhhhhhh#🍄#micro.txt#When i moved in he told me he hardly used it and it would basically br my bathroom so i was responsible for cleaning it#then proceeded to use it daily#and always leaves the door open so if he doesn't makr a mess the cats will#arg#now I've gone and upset myself lol
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doodles and stuff. struggled with painting until i gave up
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#i GUESS? carmen and ayins face is a whole thing and stuff.#oh wait hello silly first life stuff. yeah that counts. tee hee?#angela and benjamin are technically there but theyre kinda small compaired to the rest of the drawings in inclusion so im not sure..#ill do angela since she isnt covered#angela lobcorp#carmen lobcorp#ayin lobcorp#netzach lobcorp#it mustve been so prominent. the feelings of affection. those memories of ayin smiling so gently and warmly to her. to Carmen. than angela.#for it to be the very first thing brought up. the very first thing to actually recall from the copy of Her brain. a warmth she would never#be able to see upon that face. a warmth she knows and can recall but never for Her. a man who adored carmen to have such a face shown to he#that now cannot even bare to look at what isnt her what could never be her yet depending on a creation he loathes#for its similarities. for being close to him. for not Being Carmen enough. for being a bastardization of what once was. holding#justifications and trying to convince the self in order to continue forward. its just a machine. a machine must behave as a machine#how miserable. how trapping. how stuck and desperate. ever inflicting cycle of pain. anyways PLATONIC GIOCARMEN!! 🔥🔥#i canot speak upon ayin for there isnt enough room. GIOVANNI!! wanted to draw some interactions w them.#there was a scrapped doodle of carmen talking abt pain levels for beaking bones with a smile on her face while pointing to his body#bc day 48 and decidedly factually stating things with a smile as if it wasnt even personal. even if it is distressing#women in stem 🔥 have her bring over diagrams for him to have as reference. gio helping skim and find pages for specific quotes or a section#to bookmark. just happy at her glee and determination. carmen is holding up a clipboard w a diagram from the red book by carl jung but its#really small and hard to tell what it is. tee hee. there is more rambles but nay. i shant. twas for fun in between stuff#ever constant fear of misconstrued words. prithee. accept my offerings.....#spoke abt them before. i think? so content inside her warmth and joy. alive at her pride. feeling a part of him ripped away at her listless#expression. erased vanished faded from the world back to the murky color of gray further when she left the world. its so. ahngbh.#ill make a rb after this comes out and i wake up on the side blog nieranddear of just more rambles on it all that couldnt fit here#lor spoilers#... maybe. maybe on the rambles. if i dont get embarrassed and dip out of fear. whatever. go my queued post
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..
extra:
(it was a spring morning)
(he was a frail boy with no friends)
(he ran into you from across the wall)
(you said hello to him, and asked him to play along)
(at that very moment, he received his lifelong—)
extra 2: oscar boogaloo
yeahhhh....iykyk
#ozpin#professor ozpin#it never gets less embarassing tagging this#rwby#ugh#wait hm#ozma#salem#not tagging ozlem because its kinda giving ottokallen and ergh#oscar pine#sighs anyways#both of them have the same role functionally#they parallel eachother via#hold on im getting ahead of myself#he really does remins me of otto#theyre like prometheus#but with the gift of flight instead of fire#(haha flight as a heavy-handed metaphor for civilization)#they both give said gift through something of the previous civilization#im playing fast and loose w otto but he gave the gift of flight through ingenuity#thus wooden planes#ozpin gave the gift of flight (quite literally) through his magic#thus#gestures vaguely#i have so much more to say but alas ...#horrible corvid anatomy cw#while ozma is kinda su coded tbh...immortal brown dudes dealing with their megalomaniac white-haired situationship core#if you know what im referencing im so so sorry#EVERY NIGHT BRINGS A DREAM BUT THE DAYYYY RELENTLESSLY KEEPS ME AWAKEEEE#honestly idk where the quote is from kevin said it so it must be true
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#ugh the amount of trust this dog has in me absolutely breaks my heart#I had to shave the area under his chin some more before starting the steroid cream#since the vet wasn't able to do a proper job of it#so i put Røst on his placemat where we usually do our wound care stuff#i flicked the clippers on and he immediately start trembling#like SO BAD#which he's never done before#so it's pretty obvious yesterday really left a mark on him#despite literally shaking with fear though he let me touch the clippers to him over and over again until the area was clear#he jerked away from it within a handful of seconds every time#but he took treats and listened when i told him to wait#and just let me come back with the clippers to get the job done#by the end he'd stopped shaking and was back to his happy self as soon as i switched the clippers off#I love him so much#this must have been SO hard for him#he's so incredibly sensitive and he holds onto negative associations really hard#so the fact that i was allowed to continue to clip him without any kind of retraint is purely down to his trust in me#and his need to do a good job for me#i do not deserve this dog
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i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either
#like i heart bisexual men so part of me is like no yeah he does like women. he literally loves women#>what if this is just love as general blind devotion solely on the basis of them not being men#we all know he likes men without much of what would be societal shame but he still grapples with it in that personal way#in the if i like men it means i like them despite what happened to me -> i secretly like what happened to me way#talon like i like men and women but i could never spend my eternal life with a man. as a way to just focus on one thing (finding said women#instead of letting himself think about anything else at all#oc text#ill let it float into my mind but idk because this would mess up his original plot before i kept him#though tbh i want to keep keeping him idk if ill ever let him go back home ykwim. long gone concept at dis point he's mine now. ours#talkys#also this makes things more interesting too in the way of#well it was previously thought that talon has a great interest in [smunker] because of smunkers Body#a sort of unintentional and subconscious rejecting of [smunker's] gender and seeing him#as not a man#now its like. what if its not that. it rly is just sole attraction to men because well al is also a pretty feminine guy#views challenged because no‚ men one way (bad) and women another way (good)#but theres TWO guys here who exhibit femininity so he's like wait hold onnnnnn waittttt#that subconscious conflict still exists though in the fearing al (at first) due to his body and both terrorizing and clinging to [smunker]#because of his#the terrorizing because talon sees his original self in smunker (weak and youthful‚ cherubic‚ naive)#theres so many layerssss#anyway yes. loving women as in of course i love women. beautiful and they keep me safe#but not in any way further than that... i love them i can and will kiss them and do much more but it doesnt feel The Same#i dont think i actually even have any fully gay guy characters [EXCEPT MAYBE THE SELF? LMAO IDK] bc i love bisexual men so much#groundbreaking...#wait sorry more oc rambling this actually would also make sense too because how i imagine talon with women is exaggerated#complete personality change to be pleasant and pliable and you can do whatever you want to me#when its also known that the reason he ''acts out'' with al and [smunker] is because he feels safe enough to drop any and all masks to do s#hmmmmmmmm i must keep thinking
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My crows have such funny rules for what spooks them or not. I'm wearing my headphones? Fine. I have a hat on? It's cool, they know it's me and come right down. I have my dog with me? Okay, he's basically a big black crow, if anything they bully him when he sees they're getting better snacks than him.
.....I'm wearing sunglasses? OH ABSOLUTELY NOT CROW THREAT JESS IS AN IMPOSTER
#this is one of my favorite individuals#he is so chill I'll sit down to mess with my playlist or something and find him just standing right next to me on the curb waiting for snac#except of course if I'm wearing the evil sunglasses#I literally have to take my sunglasses off and hide them in a pocket#just holding them is not enough they must be GONE#charm stuff
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guys if the next n25 event is kanade5 and kanade helps mizuki in a way no one else could because kanade is what brought n25 together in the first place and gives mizuki strength to face her fears can you all go "alma you're so smart" and "alma we love you and your infinite wisdom" and "alma i'm going to draw kanamizu for you"
#proseka#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#kanade yoisaki#kanamizu#mizukana#i also accept written kanamizu i accept all forms of kanamizu 😤#'any reason you brought this up' THE CARDS!!!!! THERE'S A FRILLY STRING OF FABRIC IN EVERY CARD EXCEPT KANADE'S!!!!!!!#KANADE IS HOLDING MIZUKI'S BOW INSTEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MUST BE FORESHADOWING!!!!!!!!!!!#it's also me manifesting kanamizu because i swear we haven't had a proper kanamizu event since carnation#which is my fav niigo event and it's not even CLOSE#also i've lost hope on them continuing kanade's dad's storyline#also kanade focuses are sadly never kanade focuses at all#like colopale will probably go 'oh wasn't kanade4 nice? wasn't it nice how it ACTUALLY was a kanade focus?' and then go 'fuck you lol <3'#seriously though kanade4 was so good.......... even the 4koma catered to me lmao kanamizuena best niigo ship i love them so much#ever since i guessed the mfks dynamic i am a bit too proud#but to be fair i also guessed tsukasa and saki would be on the same colorfes#and that mfks would meet at an anni event but have an event together on june and that it'd be a lim#and that tsukasa has an underlying moon motif#and that shizuku is the only person who can fluster tsukasa#granted all of those are tsukasa related but THAT MEANS NOTHING I'LL BE RIGHT ON THIS ONE. TRUST#i'm saying also a lot in this post jgbhjgfj#my other theory is that it'll get solved in a mix event w rui and an (and maybe the other kamiyama guys (gender neutral)#WAIT I ALSO GUESSED THAT KAITO WOULD DEBUT ON A KANADE FOCUS. THERE'S HOPE FOR THE THEORY KANAMIZU IS WELL AND ALIVE AND IT WILL HAPPEN!!!
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Is you step a little spoon or big spoon—and like do you think they get to be that in their relationship haha
#I day this cause I think marcos is a little spoon but I do think he would end up holding someone else just cause he feels since he like it#the other person must also like/want it so just never is the little spoon#but oro is a big spoon#if her partner wants to hold her they have to wait until she passes out to do so
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so how much pain can i endure
#this sounds like an angsty vaguepost but it's actually not#pretty sure Tuesday's dentist appointment is going to end with another appointment#another root canal and another crown#can't afford either one so. another thing to hold over my head#also if last time is anything to go by i'll have to wait like a month first anyway#and the anticipation is gonna suuuuuck#but afterwards? i'm going to do it. i'm going to grit my teeth and reread that entire fucking trilogy#not the followup trilogy because even MY time is more valuable than that#the first one though... I Simply Must#it had such a hold on me for like five years. i have to#(this post will be inscrutable to almost everyone. if you know you know.)
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so normal about this game
#aether#genshin impact#das my art#fanart#genshin impact fanart#genshin fanart#traveller#genshin aether#art#digital art#currently just finished the inazuma questline#cannot wait what other bullshit this reckless little guy gets himself into#does he have other braincells than must safe friends? i think not#to be clear i am enjoying it immensely#also i perhaps overlevelled my characters a tiny bit#most of the actual main quest fights have taken like. seven minutes#a few of the smaller ones have taken about half a minute ajxksjsks#so i might actually have to hold off on levelling up that much more for my own enjoyment#but to be fair some of the side quests are much more difficult so i had assumed the main quests would be the same level lol
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CHAT WE ARE SO BACK ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#otp: good eggs#tadamu#shugo chara#shugo chara jewel joker#viv speaks#I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#OH MY GOD THIS PREVIEW IM SHAKING CRYING DYING ALL AT ONCE#they’re high schoolers now 😭😭😭 look at their CUTE JACKETS#the uniforms are so fucking cute look at my daughter amu 😔😔😔#no yeah — this manga needs to come out faster FRIDAY IS TOO FAR AWAY GOD DAMMIT#tadamu stans are we alive ??? YALL GOOD ??? type 1 if ur okay#tadase and amu in one frame#AAAA#THEY AINT EVEN HOLDING HANDS ??? and my brain is like: oh it must be so they’re dating#🙃🙃🙃 Vera PULL URSELF TOGETHER#anyways..#bedtime I CANT WAIT FOR THIS TO DROP AAAA
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Buzzard and Blurr are so cute :) really endearing ans sorta sweet, hope things work out well with em
Im really curious about the twos relationship. Do you have any thoughts you could share behind their dynamic and how they end up getting together? Or headcanons?
Keep up the good work! :D
THANK YOU ANON YOU MADE MY DAY!!!
i will be honest i would also like to know how they get together bc they are uhhhhhh both bad at this whole romantic thing! like i talk about here, they're both bumbling, inexperienced, and having a rude awakening to the concept of demisexuality, so as far as i can tell there is no end in sight to the mutual pining idiots. there's some possibilities but nothing concrete yet
they're a fun ship but first and foremost they are a funNY ship and the funny bits to me are in the pre-get together stage so that's what i think of the most. so! have some tidbits! this is a long post oops but i am NOT putting it under a cut i am making everyone LOOK AT SELF INDULGENCE RAAAGHH I AM KILLING CRINGE!!!
Blurr met Buzzard after being painstakingly transferred to a new, kitbashed frame and having a weird tall stranger show him the trash cube that used to be him with far too much enthusiasm. Buzzard was the one to fish that cube out of the trash as they went spelunking in Cybertron's waste disposal system as Team Purple were on planet to pull off a pet heist (and got more than they bargained for). once everyone realized the cube was a person and was ALIVE, they were also the one to uhhhhhh procure most of the pieces of his new frame, constructed by Knock-out in a back alley deal on Velocitron. Blurr is uncomfortable with how piecemeal and janky this frame is, despite being a close reconstruction of his original, and it takes him a long time to truly realize that Buzzard donated, bought, or outright stole 90% of the parts needed to bring him, a stranger, back to life. it's an odd feeling, to suddenly reckon with the concept that maybe there's more to this junker than picking pockets and being silly
it takes awhile for either of them to really pay attention to the other? like, Blurr has essentially pulled a Jesus, and also maybe unwillingly defected from the Autobots, and is currently "trapped" with a team full of criminals and Decepticons, one of whom was a spy that he spent so long tracking down and got thiiiiiiiis close to discovering her true identity before Longarm sent him off to Earth, so he's understandably got a grudge the size of a planet against Rosanna who is happy to taunt him about it, NOT TO MENTION the awkward, vulnerable, and painful physical therapy of getting used to this new frame and trying to regain his speed and just... being alive again?? sure, Buzzard is tall and weird, but they are the least of his worries in his early days with Team Purple
to be fair, like. for months the only real impression Blurr has of Buzzard is just:

infinite storage booba
that and "tall flightframe with purple parts but NOT a Decepticon???? not even an enemy????" it's something he's still coming to terms with. Gremlin consistently seeking him out to nap on is not helping
it may be easy to assume that Buzzard, having been brought to life by an Allspark shard on Earth, is young and ignorant and stupid and may not even know what love is etc etc. however, they were mentored by the whirlwind romance duo Rum-maj and Wreck-gar, both very invested and also very forthcoming about their own relationship. Buzzard is pretty knowledgeable about what love/romance/sexuality can look like, just from observing them and others around them! no, the mutual pining idiocy isn't from ignorance, it's just twitterpated stupidity 👍
this goes against popular fanon interpretation of Blurr i think, but i like to characterize him as the kind of hypercompetent-but-lame guy who's married to his work, doesn't bother with social skills beyond bare minimum, and isn't so much arrogant/full of himself as he is just impatient and dismissive. he's like a working breed dog. you might think he's hot but he would rather skip an offer of a one night stand in favor of following up on a potential lead or staking out a target's home all night. so Blurr's experience and general overall INTEREST in romance is nil
the fact i have slapped asexuality onto both of them just means they're both extra unprepared to Experience Feelings
it's slow! Buzzard thinks this guy is funny, and kind of sad, and though they never say this they think he could use a friend who won't get impatient with his own frustration. he knows a lot of stuff about Cybertron and Autobots and such that they've never heard before and he can be prompted to give entire lectures about anything, which they soak up, they love learning. Blurr is only mostly irritated by Buzzard being affable, and curious, and dropping odd knickknacks and riffraff into his hands whenever they feel like it. they don't roll their optics or look lost when he gets talking like many people do, and usually even manage to keep up with what he's saying. it's toleration at least!
he doesn't realize it, but it's really the least stressful/antagonistic connection he has with Team Purple so far. Rosanna was a target he was cheated out of uncovering and holds it over his head, Dreadringer is the mysterious captain of this dangerous gang who seems to want to toss everyone out the airlock, Wheelie was an old friend but seeing him so comfortable around these strangers is almost more offputting, Red Alert may be an Autobot but she's also the doctor seeing to his recovery which is hardly pleasant, the multiple Decepticons aboard keep him on edge even if they're nice to him like Voidwander, there's so many utterly absurdly strange people like Necro, or Wreck-gar, or Inferno, or Sky Lynx, or even Beachcomber, etc....
in comparison, Buzzard ends up filling almost a Kronk role to his Yzma as Blurr eventually feels comfortable ranting to them, or relaxing around them, or even skedaddling behind them for protection whenever Shenanigans occur. they're nice to him. it's weird. but it's still one of the biggest reasons why Blurr starts to acclimate to Team Purple, and even start considering himself one of them. without their positive influence, he wouldn't have dealt well with famous Team Purple tidbits like Tito Moto's funeral, Bludgeon deciding to start an official pirate rivalry, Dreadringer's delusions of interning with a god, Crescent's livestreaming career, or The Oil Slick Incident
Buzzard just thinks Blurr is fascinating to be around, in a much nicer way than when he was paranoid and scared of the rest of the team. now he's fitting in! in some corner of their mind, they think of him as another part of the hoard they call a family :3
maybe letting two obsession-prone people who only make friends with other weirdos spend a lot of time around one another was always going to end in a weird tangle of emotions, huh?
now this is of course Buzzard's Iconic Demi Moment, but Blurr has one too:
i firmly believe it's a hallmark- no, a REQUIREMENT that to be an Autobot in TFA you must be repressed. these guys are all touch-starved and alienated from their own wants and needs in favor of serving The Regime. so good luck Blurr you're gonna need it
Buzzard meanwhile is literally scared they're gonna pluck out Blurr's spleen. they keep wanting to be around him, and watch him, and touch him, all of which is normal sure but this is a lot so clearly their subconscious has marked him as a trinket to steal
attempts to explain otherwise generally do not go well
so they just. fail at communicating. they fail at communicating so bad the entire ship knows. even Rosanna gives Blurr tips on flirting. even Gremlin, Buzzard's dearest friend in the world, is giving them the stink-eye for idiocy. they are both still friends, they gravitate towards one another and get invested in what the other enjoys and work well together and just keep growing closer as time goes on, but the awkward, helpless stupidity of Oh My God Feelings turns it into a comedy show for the rest of Team Purple
maybe if Blurr could stop flipping out about the right thing to say and do and be and and and-- then he would relax enough, be confident enough to do something so bold as hold Buzzard's hand. maybe if Buzzard could stop worrying that their preoccupation with him is scary, or unwelcome, or unnatural, or going to upset his place in the team or as their friend, then they would stop feeling dread and start experiencing the joy and giddiness of romance, how it can be a treat for both of them
it's a lot of shenanigans. chicanery. silly falling over one another to just do something nice for the other but not quite knowing how. but they're both earnest. they enjoy one another. they keep coming back to one another
they'll get there eventually. i'll noodle something that fits
fingers crossed
i mean they have to get there eventually or this image won't be canon and i spent a lot of effort figuring out overlapping posing and kibble angles >:(
anyways. i'll leave u with this silly little ship meme (can u believe this image was gonna be my only response til i decided to defy cringe and infodump)
#buzzard#tfoc#omg wait i should queue this for#blurrsday#trembling and sweating queuing this but i must not let cringe hold me back!!!!!!!!#anyways anon ily ty for the question i hope you enjoy this much information#this ship is basically jessica and roger rabbit but with reversed heights#theyre hardly NECESSARY to each others lives but thats the thing? they like one another so. they Choose it#theyre new frontiers to one another and make each other feel things completely unfamiliar and despite being scared they choose to explore!#they are just both really REALLY bad at figuring out how to choose this and communicating it bc they have No Idea what theyre doing#you cant even trap them in a closet bc buzzard will just start stealing everything in there and blurr will help out of boredom#you cant even get them with surprise mistletoe bc blurr will speed away in .5seconds and then buzzard will nab the sprig!!#this ship operates on rule of funny therefore rule of funny will probably be the thing needed to get them together
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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i have so many thoughts about arcane but I'm so tired because it's 5 in the morning and I'm starving because i didn't eat and my brain is functioning at about 2% and all of my insides feel like mush.

#i need to rant so don't look in the tags if you don't want spoilers#it's funny because#I actually really liked a lot of stuff in the episodes#the one thing i didn't really like#is whatever they're doing with viktor lol#uuhgffffnnn you know I'm still holding out hope that everything will circle back#and his lore won't be like. really weird hextech jesus guy LMFAO#I'm attached to machine herald vik. okay. i must say it#and it's only the first three episodes so a lot could happen#but when I think about them completely changing him#and his character won't be anything like what i got attached to anymore#it makes me feel sick with anxiety lol#duuuuude sometimes having fixations is really difficult#i can't focus on the episode because I'm just worried about what they're gonna do with him 😭#i wouldn't really care if I didn't like arcane that much#but the thought that they could completely change him in the game#and all this old lore that I've invested time and love into#uuuuuuuggggg....... gonna throw up#I just need them to rip the bandaid off and release all the episodes and show me his vgu#before I make myself crazy waiting#I want to enjoy the episodes but!!!! he worries me!!!!!!!!!!!!#my intricately crafted self insert oc lore!!!!!!!! please don't touch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"You'll come back," Manon said.
It sounded like more of a threat than anything
Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"
Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.
He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.
A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.
The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.
From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.
Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.
Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.
It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.
And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.
Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.
Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.
Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.
And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.
Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.
When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."
Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.
"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."
"Crochan bitch," someone spat.
Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.
jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."
UNCLEAN
There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.
"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"
The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.
Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.
"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."
"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.
"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.
Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."
Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.
"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."
Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.
"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."
Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"
Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.
So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.
Not a child of war. But of peace.
#Dorian Havilliard#Manon Blackbeak#Chapter 43#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#1st read-readW me-read along-no spoilers please-chapter spoilers in the post&tag+more notes/quotes/ reacts/annotations/etc-ordinary dagger#would be his only weapon-and the magic in his veins-If I don't come back he said while she tied the ancient blade2her keys must go2Terrasen#the only place he could think of-even if Aelin wasn't ther2take them-them u'll come back Manon said It sounded like more of a threat than#Dorian smirked Wouldumiss me if I didn't-Take care of Narene Worry indeed shone in the 2nd gold-flecked black eyes-A fool2start down this#pathW her He should have known better-hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence-Time dripped byKings sword a weight at#her sideShe cursed herself4needing2prove-2him2herself-that she had-she refused2let him go in2Morath4practical ordinary reasons Erawan wasnt#Ferian Gap Itd b safer Somewhat-He had not been trained as a spy but hed grown up in a court where people wielded smiles&clothes like weapon#He knew how2blend in how2listenHow2make people see what they wished2see-She'd sent Elide in2the dungeons of Morath-Darkness dam her it didnt#s2p her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened scanning the skyAs if he heard something they couldn't-& it was the joy that sparked in#her mounts eyes that2ld her-Asterin rushed2ward the mare&even Manon blinked as her 2nd threw her arms around Narenes neck Holding her tight-#Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir-It was4them she spoke4them she had come here-Crochan bitch-hell no that's a witch queen-She#doesnt lie-UNCLEAN There the word remained stamped Would always bstamped How many of U-silence that fell now was different from be4 shaking#shuddering-Tears in the eyes of all of them who hadnt known&it was4those tears which Manon had never seen that she faced the host againManon#ifted her chin u are my people-Whether my gr&mother decrees it so or notuare my people&always will bBut I will fly againstuif need B2ensure#theres future4those who cannot fight4it themselves2o long have we preyed on the weak relished doing so It is time that we became better than#our4emothers-words shes given the13-Theres a better world out there she said again-& I will fight4it She turned Abraxos away2ward the plunge#behind them Will u-their if u die ill kill u vibe-ugh obviouslyulove each other just get over it-warned hum-my life-gratitude even softened#the witch-Shapeshifter-bye bluebell birdie-His ice-the Valg-just this once-if it keeps them alive then good enough-him&Vesta-terse-dont let#Aelin go4them either please-& the magic in his veins-his true weapon is smarts-come back-she cared her eyes say it all-Wmy life-not a fool#just in love-colds their middle name-her waiting😭-Lys would bproud of his skill-joy in wyverns is giving cuz she screamed4U like I did-Petra#their fallen Heir-a life debt-yes I had2switch2short dashes there’s just2o much going on all the time-4 them she spoke2gather2save-Asterin b#b-made-are monsters born or maid chicken egg wyvern solved-only queen-k how old r they-glory-always-my bb13crying2gether now imma cry-ur#Future is giving a better world vibes-I have seen it-a good queen-real love-u are my people-yes Manon speech-not a child of war but of peace#Manorian#The Thirteen
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vocal synths and winter designs
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#kigashima sourin#wakamatsu akashi#kurono takehiro#aoyama ryuusei#shirakami kotarou#voicevox#also ryuusei has his a.i.voice bank. and a second one coming i think#DREW THIS to warm up because ive been a little messed up from a chronic flareup thingy#but i wanted to draw <3 so you can see it got sloppier as i went on. the sketch was stick figures <3 <3 <3 <3#i do wanna draw more of my headcanons of their characterizations and interactions more. i must draw more sloppy comics. I MUST#i kind of lean into akashi as the straightman to shenanigans when takehiros not around#i think hes very sweet and kind but has more of an edge than he lets on. a little more exasperated than he lets on sometimes LOL#its partially because hes 26 and i. also am 26. hes just like me for REAAALhjfehjbkfldsjfkdsd#hes doing his best. hes surrounded by weirdos. but maybe hes a bit of a weirdo himself....#and i lean into sourins influencer mode a lot. online king. grandpa is killing it on the gram watch out.#and of course i lean into kotarou not paying attention to anything and ryuusei not taking things too deeply unless he has a good reason LOL#and i really imagine takehiros fashion to be kinda of bad. sorry. his normal outfits are fine like his genbu is great and his vv is cute#but i imagine him dressing. oddly. i think he has to be forced away from his old middle school gym shorts in the winter. the classic#wait hold on i just remember the united states of america. hold on. okay -20 celcius is apparently -4 farenheit
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