#the first one though... I Simply Must
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sauntering-down · 22 days ago
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so how much pain can i endure
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atenceladusiaawfytbwb · 4 months ago
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Saw one of the mean girl group (four or five big writers) anyway, day absolute ruined, I though -I was sure- I had them all blocked.
(They write a lot of basic white(gringo) dark fanfic, so maybe I'm just taking it the bad way. But I genuinely think they mean bitches, doing exactly the popular girls proces, where something is omg so funny heheha so crazy😜 until is done by someone out of their group (or simply on a bad day), then suddenly is "Can't you take this seriously 😠? You are disrespecting me as a person/writer, blocked💅"
What am i saying? I don't dislike them, I fucking hate them.
#atenceladusiaawfytbwb me be saying đŸ€ đŸ§#thatbkind of poeple‚ are just fucking cunts and should be 'skiped'. But since apparently is a characteristic of being popular‚ well‚ 🙃#let me desahogarme: 1) Theyre ultra yapper on that 'freedom of speech'‚ 'its just fiction'‚ 'live and let live'‚#'if you don't like it (me) just fucking block'- all good‚ no? Boy arent they the fucking police later‚ about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE#2) the fucking high-school mean girl (very related to 1): something is so so good‚ and so so right‚ and so so funny... inside their clique.#Then is fucking disrespectful and patronizing and evil. Punctual example: talking and banter and reblogging and commenting between them‚#like about something on common‚ lets say an abc fanfic and this and that‚ how crazy it is‚ process of making it‚ ideas#fun facts/ideas. all very positive and lighthearted and juat nice‚ entertaining to see. Then like the next day 🙃 an ask (that i hope#was anon‚ because girl‚ no one deserves that) about how it was‚ how is going. Boy. And first let me ve cery very clear I know the most basic#ettiquete about fanficnand writers: you dont press‚ you dont ask‚ there simply is not a polite or decent way to asknfor updates or dates#one just doesnt do that. I myself have have experiencing the very disheartening/infuriating experience where the comment#is “oh thank fuck‚ though you quit/abandoned the fic”. That was NOT the case‚ it involved asking for some timeline or so‚ but in no way was#it pressing for a date or updates or anything‚ and‚ it was very withing the previous dinamic‚ of just asking and talking and so. Said blog#owner juat fucking demolished the asker: “Oh.my.god how dare you? who do you think you are? you come to my house and talking to me like#this? You're a very disgusting human being and you must know it. this level of disrespect and patronizing- and it just went on and on. And#that is actually a very vafy important part of the 'mean' girl part. its not just rejecting‚ but it HAS to be through some shit long discour#se. Owner just went on and on on how unbeliabable the ask was (not like it was a normal ask itself‚ very polite itself#and very very tamely withing what they had been doing with the clique prior. Anyway‚ that was the star. everything just was like that.#im afraid that without that call‚ id still just following them and reading them‚ just here and then thinking “phew‚ you really gotta talk to#them a certain way to not upset them‚ haha😬“ anyway#cod fandom#cod mwii#tlou fandom#tlou#tlou 2
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iniziare · 11 months ago
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Aesthetically, we're going in order. Guizhong was the first within the HYV fandom, and Kafka was the second. I am also desperate to get that woman's voice to settle, which it still hasn't, so this'll kick me in gear for that. I think I also owe the most from her. So let's start the Kafka era, especially as the update will draw me back into HSR for a short bit.
And in honor of her, I need Abel Korzeniowski to stop giving me perfect instrumentals for her.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago
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also marble hornets fun fact #92 like it's fun that for once the neurotypical agenda accidentally got a win: when in that s1 "interview" episode apparently there was no particular plan to have tim be a recurring character before a strong audience response of speculation that there must be something more going on with this guy because his fidgeting with a notebook all throughout the video was indication of Liar's Anxiety or whatever; in reality tim sutton was not making any acting choice (to serve then-nonexistent writing) but was spontaneously being someone often fidgeting with paper. then call that unfolding developments
#i don't know much about how s2 / 3 were written save that even as s1 was most fully like fly by the seat of their pants#and obviously not really having chronology / plot focus until even a ways into it#they still did not like have everything nailed down as a story going into s2 or anything like that / were writing Along The Way#though regarding ''no way in the initial decision to have tim Recur did they go 'he will eventually be our protagonist'''#i do think i remember their saying that jay dying was like something decided on relatively early. for [every reason] lmao#just not great at this....it's Just like winston billions in here except also the opposite of that#[one-off character is easily read as just existing a bit nd style; chilling] oh you mean their Malicious Nature?#however though i similarly think the logic / payoff according to their own setup would have been wendy exploding into atoms#they were definitely Not interested in swapping out who gets to be leading this thing no matter what. unto the end#then shoutout to actor tim organically tripping in his Next first appearance but to superior effect lol#wow it's just like that one clip from that one movie. lol that i could actually find it but I Dunno About That Video Title Abbreviation#marble hornets#anyways point is it was Just organic fidgeting b/c of that being something someone does#and then Suspicion that that Must mean he's got Secrets was what was like oh maybe we gotta bring this guy into it lol#and that at first indeed it was maybe like Simply Sinister Secrets but then it's like well he's the main character now. enjoy#and that one guy is tim sutton's dad cameo we gotta get one of those#and in both cases;
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scrawnytreedemon · 2 years ago
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I want to finish ALBW before I go talking about it... And I want to try and 100% it before then.
I have two heartpieces left.
One I have no idea where the fuck it's supposed to be,
And the other one is Octoball Derby.
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itsays · 1 year ago
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i didnt get the job and im mostly ok as long as another coworker didnt get it instead. like it has to be someone from outside of the company or im QUITTING
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lavenderr-starrs · 1 year ago
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Therapy is stored in the Luffy
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How funny that she never considered that.
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fated-normal-767 · 2 months ago
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Can Phobos make people believe something that is proveably true but the person doesn’t already believe in ? Can he make people believe things *harder*? Since I’m pretty sure his skill extends to lies he tells, right? So what is it based on - what is his jurisdiction in this case?
I think it’d have to be Not True at least from his perspective because he can only make people believe his own lies specifically not just anything he says but if he didn’t believe in ghosts and they were provably real and he said ‘ghosts are so so so real” he could make someone believe that. It’s subjective but he’s also got a very distorted perception of reality so you never quite know what he could do next
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mahowaga · 3 months ago
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it started innocently—really, it did.
you had no idea the chaos you were about to unleash when, that first time, you pulled your phone out at dinner to capture the gorgeous table spread.
you aren't some influencer, you don't have an aesthetic food page or anything. you just like saving the memories. you like looking back at the colors of the dishes, the way the warm lights catch the steam rising from a bowl of ramen, or the glistening sheen of freshly grilled corn. it makes you happy.
but nanami kento—who sits across from you at that table, handsome in his pressed white button-up and tie still a little too tight against his throat even though the workday has ended—mistakes your angle.
his gaze flicks up from his plate, catching you just as you are angling your phone. and for a brief moment, his face freezes.
then—composed, but stiff—he straightens his spine and fixes his tie.
you blink. "what... what are you doing?"
"you could've warned me if you were going to take a photo of me," he murmurs, eyes dropping to his food. "i must look ridiculous while eating."
the words catch you so off guard that you barely manage a confused laugh, and the words i wasn't taking a photo of you! i was taking a photo of the table, of the food don't come. instead, you stutter, "oh, well, i—"
kento nods, but his eyes don't meet yours. he simply spears a piece of potato and says, "of course."
you meant to correct him properly. you meant to explain. but watching the slight pink creep up the tips of his ears—the usually unflappable nanami kento, embarrassed at the thought of you taking his picture—you hesitate.
and then you just never said anything.
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the next time it happens, it's sushi.
a fancy little place you pick because you know kento likes it—quiet, clean, no frills but top-tier quality. you're practically bouncing in your seat by the time the chef slides the first omakase platter in front of you, every piece glistening, delicate, artful.
you pull out your phone.
kento, mid-reach for his cup of tea, freezes again. just like last time.
then slowly—almost robotically—he sets the cup down, places his hands neatly on his lap, and gives you the most stilted half-smile you've ever seen.
you pause, staring at him. "kento—"
"it's alright," he says quickly. "i understand. people like documenting memories. i just. i just wasn't prepared. that's all."
you really should clear the misunderstanding right now.
but instead, a laugh bubbles out of you. "alright. then—hold still."
and you snap a photo. of him. not the food. him.
the photo is terrible—he's as stiff as a board, his jaw locked, and he looks like he's posing for a passport photo at gunpoint.
but it's cute. in the way kento always is, without ever meaning to be.
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it becomes a thing after that. you don't even know how.
every time you take your phone out, kento will assume the position. stiff shoulders, straight spine, polite smile.
and every time, you can't bring yourself to tell him that no—really—you're just trying to take a photo of the food.
but by the fourth or fifth outing, something shifts.
kento starts asking, carefully neutral, "do you want me to sit differently? or is this alright?"
and that? that cracks something in you.
"no," you laugh, breathless. "you're perfect."
the words slip out before you can stop them.
kento blinks once, then twice. then he looks down quickly, ears flushing crimson. "i see."
after that, it's like he's resigned himself. if you pull your phone out, he waits. patient, polite, quietly ready.
so you start taking photos. of him. on purpose.
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at the cafe, with the tiny cappuccino cup too delicate in his large hands—snap.
at the bakery, applying jam to the slice of freshly baked bread—snap.
at the park, sitting stiffly on the bench while you both have ice cream—snap.
"you're building a collection, aren't you?" kento asks one evening, watching you put your phone down with a barely-contained smile.
you start. "what?"
"photos. of me." his voice is flat, but his eyes—his eyes are soft, just the slightest glint of amusement there. "i'm assuming you have a folder by now."
you flush. "i—no—maybe."
kento lets out a low sigh, running a hand through his hair. "you could just ask, you know."
you blink. "ask?"
"if you want a picture," he says, clearing his throat. "i don't mind. but maybe then—maybe i could try not to look like a stiff idiot."
you laugh, loud and bright, and kento flinches like he's just startled a bird.
"you don't look like an idiot," you say, wiping your eyes. "you look like you. that's perfect to me."
kento stares at you for a long, quiet moment. and then—unexpected, a tiny miracle—he smiles. a real one. the kind that softens all the lines of his face, that crinkles his eyes just enough.
"that might be the nicest thing anyone's said to me," he murmurs.
you open your mouth, close it, then grin. "well, get used to it. you're stuck with me, nanami kento. my photo album's already proof."
kento gives a long-suffering sigh, but his hand—warm, steady—reaches out across the table, brushing yours.
"i suppose," he says, almost fond, "i can live with that."
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seven months later, you've built a whole gallery. and when kento catches you looking through it one night—tired from work, tie loosened, his shirt sleeves rolled up—he doesn't say a word.
he just kisses the top of your head, quietly, and murmurs, "just let me know next time, hm? i want to look good for you."
and that is how your silly little secret turns into the softest thing you've ever shared with him.
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3hks · 3 months ago
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How to Write a Character with THAT *Sad Aura*
Have you ever stumbled upon a character, who, despite radiating wholesome, positive energy, also has a subtle undertone of sadness? It's kind of intriguing, isn't it? If you've ever wanted to write a perhaps more complex character or explore writing emotions, why not check this out?
What am I talking about?
Let's do a quick introduction as to what I mean. I've said this a couple times already, but to the reader, this character feels despondent even though they act nothing like it. This doesn't mean they have to act happy all the time (like my first example); they might act cold, or apathetic, but the point is they don't act visibly sad.
This faint melancholic mood provides a charming, or even nostalgic feel to the audience through ONE character! Isn't that kind of fun?
Eye Expressions
This character will not show sadness on their face--that contradicts the idea of "sad aura". But you know what they say, right? Eyes are the windows to the soul; they do not lie!
When trying to highlight some of this unhappiness, write about their eyes. Talk about how their eyes look oddly dim sometimes when they smile, or how they don't meet their friend's eyes when they laugh. These cues are simple but powerful.
Adverbs
You always have to be mindful of adverbs, but here especially, adverbs (and adjectives) unconsciously influence how your audience views the character.
For example, avoid saying too much of "smiled brightly" or "talked excitedly". If these are the adverbs you purposefully want to use to portray your character, then by all means! However, these adverbs add a happier connotation, which you must be aware of. If you want something more neutral (which I recommend for the most part), consider using lighter adverbs/adjectives, such as "smiled softly", or "offered lightly".
Reasons
A reason is normally needed for almost everything. Here, you want genuine reasons to back up why your character doesn't ask for help, thus forcing them to work through their unhappiness alone.
This could be because they think other people can't solve the problem, they don't want to bother others, they don't think their issue is a big deal, or they simply believe there's no solution.
Physical Hints
And if all this isn't enough, then drop some physical hints! Perhaps your character gets distracted often, tends to hesitate before speaking, deflects concerned comments with jokes, or has a hard time acknowledging reassurances, even when it's unrelated to their personal troubles. These habits suggest the idea your character has more than meets the eye.
Mood Changes
When people are upset, their mood tends to fluctuate. For most of us, we're typically upset for a short period, so we cycle through emotions such as anger, sadness, and even joy during these moments.
However, if your character is consistently sad, not just for a day or two, their mood might shift on different days. Maybe they're really tired one day, hardly speaking. Maybe the next, they are more frustrated, snapping at people or ignoring them. Maybe the day after that, they are overly energetic, bouncing everywhere and talking all the time, providing a bit of whiplash.
Purpose
Similar to having a reason for their reluctance of reaching out, you also want to ensure that they have a purpose for fighting. Why haven't they given up yet? This is especially crucial when considering the real world, where feeling upset leads to a lack of motivation.
So, what keeps them going, then? Do they want to fix their regrets? Do they want to change?
Backstory and Actions
To be honest, I wouldn't consider a backstory an absolute necessity, but I highly suggest creating one. Why? Because you can accurately identify the reason for your character's guilt, regret, and sorrows from the past with an actual backstory.
The events of your character's past always influence their future actions.
For example, if they were a part of a severe car accident in the past, perhaps they only feel comfortable when they are the driver in the future because that means they can control the car.
Conclusion
This character is not especially different from any other character, besides the fact that they are neither obvious nor overly secretive of their genuine feelings.
With that being said, focus on embodying their eye expressions, be careful about which adverbs and adjectives you choose to use--I recommend choosing ones with more neutral connotations for a sense of melancholy, explain why your character keeps their sadness to themselves and why they keep fighting despite it, show mood fluctuations, drop physical hints, such as actions and/or specific personality traits, and make sure to connect their past to their present!
Happy writing~
3hks ^^
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rosiereveries · 6 months ago
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Part two of the secret Santa with CEO!JohnPrice drabble that I wrote Part one CW: smut, rough sex, unprotected sex, doggy style, little power imbalance, reader is a female
You carefully knock on his office door hoping that he has already left. The whole secret Santa was a stupid idea that your colleagues came up with, and everyone got mediocre gifts except you. Your boss John Price bought you some expensive perfume, you didn’t even know the brand, but you could tell that it cost a fortune, and a pearl necklace that was beautiful. You know that keeping these gifts is not right, he must have bought them for someone else and he had to accidentally change the presents. You were sure he had some socks and coffee mug prepared for you.
Even though you could see how satisfied he was when you open your gift. And the fact that he called you his good girl in front the whole office made your stomach turn. It’s been so long since someone made you blush that much. That is why you went to his office in the first place, to make sure you return the gift.
When you hear quiet “come in” you know that you must face him. You slowly open the door and find him sitting behind his table with a surprised face. He didn’t expect you to come. “Something wrong with your present doll?” he asks, and you start to explain that you can’t keep the gift, that you are sure it was not meant for you. He simply asks if you had a chance to try on the necklace. You shake your head no and he walks behind you taking the necklace from your shaking hands.
It’s been a while since someone touched you so gently and there is something so intimate about the way he gathers your hair and pushes them away, so he has unlimited access to your neck. You can feel his breath next to your ear and you realize he stands too close to you. He turns both of you, so you stand next to the mirror he has in his office, and you see the hunger in his eyes.
One second, he is looking at you and the next he is lightly kissing your neck. “Tell me to stop now or I won’t” he says, and you just nod for approval. “Words honey, I need you to tell me that you want this as much as I.”
“Please Mr. Price” you whimper. That is all he needs to hear. John’s hands are everywhere. He pulls the top of your dress lower so he can touch you breasts while he starts to rub his hard dick in your ass. He sucks at your neck, and you know that you will have hickeys, and you will have to wear a turtleneck tomorrow.
When he is done with your neck, he turns your head, and he kisses you. It is wild, his tongue is immediately in your mouth, and he doesn’t let you have breaks for breaths. John pulls your skirt up pushing his hand in your stockings and he touches you through your panties.
“You’re so wet for me darling, and I barely even touch you” You can hear the ripping of your stockings and suddenly he pushes you onto his desk pushing your legs apart so he can have access to your pussy. He pulls your panties to your knees, and you blush when you remember what pair you put on in the morning. A pink cotton panties with a little bow, you didn’t expect anyone to see them tonight.
“So pretty and just for me,” he says, and you can feel his breath at your clit, “but unfortunately I don’t have time to eat you out, but don’t worry we will make time the next time you see me.” By this point you are needy mess who just want him to fuck you.
You can hear him unzipping his pants and then you finally feel his dick at your opening. He starts to push in slowly, groaning and moaning into your ear. He is thick and long, and you feel so full. You didn’t have a partner for some time now and he fills you up so nicely.
“You’re doing great love, just keep taking me in” he says and when he finally pushes his whole dick inside you, you feel so full. It is so overwhelming and he’s not even moving yet. He sets up a harsh and rough tempo fucking into you with his hips and the whole desk starts to shake.
John is practically laying on you, he has you pinned on the desk, and you can feel his full weight on yourself. “Fuck I am going to cum, be a good girl and let me come inside” You don’t even know if you could tell him no, you are so close chasing your own release.
When his fingers lightly rub your clit, you break. It is one of the most powerful orgasms you have had. You can feel him cumming inside of your pussy and you’re grateful that you are on the pill.
After some time when he just lays on you, he gently pulls out of you and helps you to clean. “Such a good girl for me isn’t you” John makes sure that you look decent before he walks out of the office with you. He helps you to his car and drives your home. He walks you to your door and says, “Just don’t tell HR and we can keep up with the fun.”
The next morning when you walk to your desk you find a small package there. When you open it there are earrings, matching pair to the necklace you got yesterday. There is also a note that says: Be a good girl and come up to my office during my lunch break.
Part three Masterlist You can support my work here : ko-fi
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solxamber · 10 days ago
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Want You Back with: Housewardens
Where they're still in love with you.
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Riddle Rosehearts
After the breakup, Riddle acted like he'd read somewhere that repressing emotion was a perfectly valid coping mechanism. Which, to be fair, he probably had. And so he embarked on what could only be described as a grief management routine so structured and detail-oriented that you almost had to respect it.
First came the part where he behaved like nothing had happened.
He went about his day with all the usual pomp—collaring students, citing arcane dorm rules, and drinking his tea as usual.
If anyone brought you up (on purpose or by accident), he would simply blink, nod, and go back to arranging sugar cubes in a perfect geometric formation. "We are no longer together," he would say, as if it were an administrative change and not, say, a soul-crushing emotional catastrophe.
Then came the coincidences.
He began showing up in places he absolutely did not frequent before. The café you liked? Suddenly, he was a regular. The library on Thursday evenings? There. The very hallway outside your class despite Heartslabyul being on the opposite side of campus? Oh yes. There too. And every time you spotted him lurking (because that was the only word for it), he would give a startled little blink, like you were the surprise.
"Oh. I didn't see you there," he said, the fourth time in a week.
You stared at him from behind your drink. "I've been sitting here for thirty minutes."
"Well," he muttered, "public seating is for everyone."
By week two, he began inventing reasons to talk to you. Weird ones.
He approached you one day, armed with a rulebook and what looked like three sticky notes marking battle locations.
"According to Queen of Hearts rule 42," he said, clearly having practiced this in front of a mirror, "ex-partners must return borrowed items within twelve days."
You blinked. "You lent me a pencil."
"It was part of a set," he snapped, scandalized.
You told him you'll give it back and he looked like someone slapped him.
You thought that might be the end of it. But then, course, it escalated.
He showed up at your door one evening with a paper in his hand. A list. A physical list. Titled, in absolutely unnecessary cursive, "A Non-Exhaustive Record of My Missteps."
"It's not meant to change anything," he said stiffly, not quite looking at you. "Only to
 acknowledge."
There were bullet points. Short, awkward, and occasionally baffling.
Should not have critiqued your sock choice in front of your friends.
I apologize for saying 'emotional outbursts are not strategic.' That was, in hindsight, a poor choice of words.
You are allowed to eat dessert before dinner. Even if it is cherry pie.
I realize now that asking if we could schedule arguments during free periods was not romantic.
I should have asked you to stay.
You didn't know what to do with it—him. He was so Riddle about everything. Polite. Procedural. Very slightly insane. But under all the awkward attempts at regulation and paperwork, it was clear he missed you. Badly.
And the truth was, you still hadn't returned the matching pencil.
You kept it. Not because you believed in fate or romance or even well-meaning tyrants who quoted rulebooks like love poems—but because part of you thought, maybe, if he was willing to be just a little more flexible, there might be a version of this that could work.
And you hoped it could.
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Leona Kingscholar
After the breakup, Leona made it his personal mission to convince the entire world—Ruggie, his dorm, the mirror in his room, the literal wildlife outside—that he did not care.
He went around saying things like, "Tch. Good riddance," and "Like I got time to babysit someone who cries over movies," even though no one had brought you up. He slept more. Talked less. Got moodier, which no one thought was possible until he started growling at actual potted plants for existing near his nap spots.
Whenever Ruggie so much as hinted at your name—usually while dancing around some scheduling conflict or trying to explain why Leona's mood had tanked again—he'd get cut off mid-word.
"I wasn't even talking about them!" Ruggie would complain.
"Then stop thinking about them so loud," Leona snapped, face buried in the crook of his arm like the concept of you physically hurt his eyes.
But of course, the moment your name stopped being brought up, that became a problem too.
He started acting restless. Less asleep all the time and more awake and clearly trying to look like he's not looking around for someone. He'd frown when someone laughed in the hallway, then look annoyed when it wasn't you. He started showing up to classes he normally skipped, sitting in the back with his legs stretched out and arms crossed like he was doing the entire school a favor just by existing in the room.
And then the things started appearing.
First, it was his jacket—left casually across the back of your desk chair, like maybe gravity had just pulled it there on accident. Then his spellbook, shoved between your textbooks in a way that definitely required premeditated effort. Then a sandwich. An entire sandwich, wrapped up and labeled "Not Yours."
He denied all of it, obviously.
"Must've been Ruggie," he said, regarding the jacket that literally smelled like him.
When confronted about the book: "I don't even read, what're you talking about."
As for the sandwich? "You're imagining things. I didn't make that for you."
By that point, no one believed him—not even himself.
The final blow came in the form of a confrontation you hadn't expected. Late evening, when you were walking back to your dorm from the library. You were alone, or you thought you were, until you turned the corner and found him there—half in shadow, arms crossed, gaze trained somewhere just over your shoulder.
He didn't say hello.
Didn't say anything actually.
Just let the silence stretch until it started fraying at the edges, and then muttered, voice low and rough:
"You still want this, don't you?"
You stared at him. He didn't flinch, but you could tell he wanted to. He held himself like someone who didn't expect the answer to be yes, but still desperately needed to hear it before he gave up entirely.
And you realized somewhere between the jacket, the sandwich, and the way his voice cracked at the end of the sentence—that for all his snarling and attitude, he never stopped loving you.
He just didn't know how to ask you to stay without sounding like he might actually need you.
Which, of course, he did. Not that he'd ever say it out loud.
Not yet, anyway.
But the next time he leaves something behind, you think you might return it in person. Maybe even stay awhile.
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Azul Ashengrotto
Azul handled the breakup the only way he knew how: with spreadsheets, surveillance footage, and a truly unhealthy amount of denial.
He claimed to be fine, of course. Said it with a straight face while color-coding inventory spreadsheets and inputting customer satisfaction data at four in the morning like a man unburdened by heartbreak. But when the tweels found the Lounge security footage paused—again—on a scene of you laughing near the bar, they stopped asking.
He'd memorized the timestamp.
And no, he didn't want to talk about it.
Azul had always been prone to spiraling in a unique way. After the breakup, that tendency mutated into something truly concerning. He didn't cry. He didn't wallow. Instead, he opened a blank document and began calculating. How many hours you'd spent together. How often you laughed in his presence. What the average rate of eye contact was in happy couples versus yours. There were charts. Graphs. Some kind of weighted affection index.
Unfortunately, Jade opened the file looking for the March sales report and instead found a document titled:
"Projected Probability of Them Still Loving Me (v6)."
He would not let him live it down.
"Idea," Floyd said. "You wanna run those numbers again but include the variable where you're super pathetic lately?"
Even Jade raised an eyebrow. "The correlation between desperation and appeal might not be as linear as you'd hope."
Azul tried to brush them off. He even lied (very badly) about what the spreadsheet was for ("Just
 tax optimization. Personal hobby. Totally normal."), but the damage was done. The eels were smug. He was mortified. And worst of all, he still couldn't stop thinking about you.
So he pivoted.
If direct emotional vulnerability had failed him, perhaps passive-aggressive marketing would do the trick.
You started receiving coupons. Neatly folded, hand-delivered, no return address—but you recognized the ink. And the handwriting. And the aggressively formal tone that somehow still managed to sound like begging.
"One (1) free drink of your choice at the Mostro Lounge. Offer valid for exes statistically proven to be an optimal match."
Another read:
"Your preferred drink has been discontinued. Kidding. Please come back."
And your personal favorite:
"A reminder that our pairing was 94.3% ideal. Come back. For research."
You didn't respond. He didn't expect you to. But every week, a new coupon showed up—some increasingly ridiculous, some borderline romantic, all of them signed with that same flourish he used when pretending he wasn't panicking.
You weren't sure if it was pathetic or endearing. Probably both. The coupons had piled up in a drawer now, next to a coaster you never returned and a little napkin with a sketch he once made of you during a slow night.
You told yourself it was nostalgia. Curiosity. Scientific inquiry, if anything.
And one slow afternoon, you found yourself digging through the drawer, smoothing out the least crumpled coupon, and thinking—just for a moment—that you might stop by.
For research. Obviously.
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Kalim Al-Asim
Kalim took the breakup as well as someone who had never actually took a negative emotion in his life to heart could. Which was to say: terribly.
He cried. A lot. At first, it was appropriate—private tears, sniffles in the dorm room, a distant gaze over his drink. But then it started happening at other times. Like during an ad for laundry detergent where the happy couple folded towels together. Or during a weather report where the forecast mentioned rain, which, apparently, you once said made you sleepy. Or during absolutely nothing at all, except that the sun was setting "a little too much like that one day you held his hand, remember?"
He insisted he was fine.
"Totally fine!" he chirped, voice three octaves higher than normal, eyes red-rimmed and suspiciously glossy. "Breakups happen all the time, right? We're both growing and learning! It's healthy!"
No one believed him.
Jamil looked like he was considering reporting you to the disciplinary committee just to end Kalim's reign of emotionally unhinged sunshine. Even Grim asked if someone should "turn him off and back on again."
But Kalim doubled down. If he couldn't be fine naturally, he'd brute-force his way into happiness. Which, in his mind, meant: throwing parties. So many parties. For no reason. His calendar suddenly became a horror show of "themed celebration nights" and "spontaneous joy hours," all of which were weirdly tailored around your favorite things.
"Here!" he said brightly, handing out goodie bags. "Everyone gets this specific brand of chocolates and stickers! Because those are just objectively fun! Not because anyone used to love them or anything!"
It was transparent. Alarmingly so.
Even when he gave someone a little clay charm that looked exactly like the one you wore on your bag, Kalim waved it off with a too-wide smile. "Just spreading the joy! It's important to stay positive, right?"
Everyone knew it was a cry for help. The kind that sounded like party poppers and glitter and repressed sobbing in the school gardens.
The turning point came on a quiet afternoon when he showed up at your door holding a tiny cupcake. It had a frosting heart on it. His hands shook slightly.
"I know this is weird," he said, already teary. "I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable. I just—"
He swallowed, voice cracking like something inside him was giving up the act for good.
"Even if you don't love me again," he said, "can we still be something?"
You looked at him—his earnest eyes, his trembling lower lip—and you felt something soft and painfully familiar unfurl in your chest.
Because Kalim didn't know how to lie to the people he loved. Not well. Not really. He was all impulse and heart, the kind of boy who loved too loud and too fast and never quite knew how to stop once he started.
And maybe you weren't ready to be what you were. Not yet.
But looking at him, at the little cupcake with the slightly smudged heart and the the way he was holding it like he might shatter if you didn't take it—
How could you say no?
You took the cupcake. And maybe his hand, too. Just for a moment. Just to see if something could still bloom.
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Vil Schoenheit
Vil did not mourn the breakup. Mourning was for people who couldn't maintain composure under pressure. For people who let emotion smudge their mascara. He was not one of those people.
At least, not publicly.
He was flawless. Unbothered. The exact picture of someone thriving post-relationship, thank you very much. His interviews were polished. His smiles were poised. His posture was impeccable. If anyone noticed that his usual acerbic wit had gone curiously blunt, no one said anything.
They wouldn't dare.
Privately, though, when the cameras were off and the spotlight blinked out, Vil cracked in very small ways.
He started using your favorite perfume. A subtle layer, never enough to be obvious, but just enough to make him feel like you were still somewhere in the room. Like maybe if he breathed in deep enough, he could hold onto something.
He flipped through magazines during lunch breaks, claiming it was for "market research." But every time he lingered on a movie review or a lifestyle spread, it was with the faint, ridiculous hope that you'd read it too. That your fingers might have touched the same paper. That your eyes caught the same line he was rereading for the fifth time.
He knew it was foolish. But Vil had always been prone to beautiful illusions. It was sort of his thing.
The unraveling came, ironically, in the most public of places: a toothpaste commercial.
He was halfway through filming, mid-speech about the importance of a radiant smile, when something in the script triggered a memory—something you once said about how his laugh.
He kept talking.
Kept improvising.
Went off-script entirely.
The crew let him go for a minute—Vil was known for his "emotional depth," after all—but when he hit the line "even the most polished smile can still ache when it remembers someone who made it feel real," the director had to call cut.
"Vil," they said gently. "It's a toothpaste commercial."
He didn't speak for the rest of the shoot. Just touched up his own makeup in silence, eyes a little glassy.
It took him another week to knock on your door.
He showed up in a soft sweater, smelling faintly of something familiar, holding his own hands like he didn't know what else to do with them.
He didn't ask for much. Didn't ask for forever. Just quietly, cautiously:
"Would you like to try again?"
And you thought—looking at him, at the person who once swore he'd never show up like this for anyone, at the vulnerability hiding under all that polish—
Maybe this time, you could make it work.
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Idia Shroud
Idia handled the breakup the way he handled most things in life: with a complete and total digital meltdown, buried under forty layers of denial and an emotionally scorched Discord server.
He didn't text. Didn't call. Didn't even leave passive-aggressive emoji reactions on your old posts like a normal ex with unresolved feelings. He simply
 disappeared.
Vanished like a ghost into his room, into his code, into the vast and uncaring expanse of the internet, where feelings didn't exist unless they were typed in all caps or conveyed through a crying anime girl gif.
And for a while, it was total radio silence.
Until you logged into that game.
The shared one. The one you used to play together after class, where the two of you ran a little shop in a pixelated fantasy village and spent an embarrassing amount of time farming digital potatoes.
Your shop was still there.
But now there was
 a shrine.
Your character's pixel art face, recreated painstakingly in custom tiles and surrounded by in-game flowers, torches, and glowing pink mood crystals that did not exist in the vanilla version of the game.
He'd modded it.
There was a sign in the middle that just said:
"Here Lies Happiness (RIP)"
You stared at it for a long time. Then, just to confirm the ridiculous suspicion building in your chest, you checked the nearby player list.
Sure enough, his username had changed too:
"SadBoy420"
Online. Loitering.
You didn't message him immediately. Mostly because you weren't sure what to say to someone who had quite literally built a shrine to your relationship in a farming sim. But still—you lingered. Logged in more often. Left offerings of rare items near the shrine like it was some strange, silent conversation.
Idia never spoke to you directly, but you noticed the shrine changed a little every day. One day it had a sign that said "I'm Fine." The next, it was replaced with a drawing of your characters fishing together. One morning it was just a massive, pixel-art rendition of the word "SORRY" in bold letters with a sad face emoji.
Outside the game, his silence continued.
But Ortho?
Ortho was not subtle.
"Did you know my brother has been listening to the voicemails you left him on loop for the past 72 hours?" he chirped once in the cafeteria. "Not that he's, like, sad or anything! Just nostalgic. Definitely not crying."
Later: "He made your favorite NPC in our custom server the town mayor! Isn't that cute? I mean, objectively, not emotionally, haha."
Eventually, you got the call.
Your phone lit up with his name and you answered before you could talk yourself out of it.
"Uh—hey," Idia said, voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't, like, mean to call. Or—I did, but. Crap. Okay. Hi."
You waited.
He took a breath.
"I was just wondering," he said, "if you maybe wanted to talk again. Or, y'know. Game. No pressure or anything. It's fine if you're, like, over it and I'm just like a pathetic ghost haunting your social life, haha, classic tragic NPC vibes—"
"Yes," you said, before he could spiral into apologizing for existing.
He paused. Long enough that you thought the call had dropped. Then, quietly—hopeful, almost disbelieving:
"Wait. Really?"
You smiled, even if he couldn't see it.
"Yeah," you said. "Log in."
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus did not understand how something so radiant could simply
 end.
He didn't throw a dramatic tantrum after the breakup. He didn't disappear in a swirl of thunderclouds or curse the moon or anything out of a tragic love story.
He didn't so much as frown in public, because the full gravity of the breakup hadn't quite hit him yet. Instead, it settled in stranger places—quiet things, strange habits.
Like how he started speaking to the plush bat you gave him on his last birthday as though it were you. Not in a creepy way, more like someone who didn't know what to do with the empty space you left behind.
He asked it questions. Told it how his day went. Laughed, sometimes, as if it had told him a joke—low and fond, the kind of laugh only you had ever coaxed out of him. And when he sat beneath the stars, plush cradled carefully in his lap, he whispered to it with a gentleness reserved only for the lost.
The gargoyles? They weren't even sentient, but even they seemed exhausted. Every night he stood in front of them, musing out loud about the way you smiled or how you always called him weird little nicknames. One of them lost a nose—maybe unrelated.
Lilia, bless him, said nothing for a long while. He simply watched as Malleus wilted, quietly and beautifully, like a flower sealed in ice. But one evening, after Malleus asked in the softest voice, "Do humans ever come back when they leave?", Lilia did not answer. He only wrapped his arms around his ward and held him close.
At some point, he started writing letters. Not to send, just
 to say things. Things he didn't know how to tell you, or hadn't said enough when he could. Some were serious. Some were barely legible thoughts written in the middle of the night. But he kept them all, folded neatly in a box that lived under his bed.
And then, of course, Silver found the box.
Silver, ever helpful and half-asleep, assumed it was mail Malleus meant to send and delivered the whole thing to your dorm like it was completely normal to get a hand-bound novel of unsent love letters dropped off on a random day.
You read them all.
You didn't say anything at first. You weren't sure what you were supposed to say. But that night, you left your window open—just a little.
And sure enough, just past midnight, Malleus appeared outside your dorm. Just
 standing there. Looking up.
He didn't ask to come in. He didn't even call your name. He just waited. Like maybe you'd hear the quiet, and somehow understand.
And when you finally stepped outside, he looked at you like he'd been waiting centuries.
"May I court you again?" he asked softly. "From the beginning."
And really
 how could you say no?
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Masterlist
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i-love-ptv · 10 months ago
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Stacy’s Mom Has Got It Goin’ On ËšÌŁÌŁ á”•ÌŁÌŁÌŁÌŁÌŁÌŁ
Pairing: Husband!Rafe Cameron x Soccer-mom!Wife!Reader
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It’s not easy being a soccer-mom, especially when dads hit on you at every game as if you’re not married to Rafe.
Wc: 1,596
Fluff, Protective Rafe making an appearance, kinda pushy guy (idk what to say)
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An: I’ve really wanted to write a fic based on this song, and this idea randomly popped into my head so! Am I using the names I wanna name my kids? Yes, yes I am.
Not proofread tbh
Feedback always appreciated lovelies!! xx
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“I’ll be back, ‘mkay doll?”
You hum in acknowledgement, eyes peering back at the field after looking up.
Your husband, Rafe, leant down and places a firm kiss on your forehead.
“Yeahhh, Daddy’s gonna be back, baby.” Rafe coos at your two year old, who was sitting on your lap, babbling freely while peering at him with her big doe eyes.
Rafe walks off the bleachers in search of the concession stand to buy food for the three of you.
You brush your hand over your young daughter’s head, making sure her somewhat oversized hat is still covering her head entirely. Her hand wraps around your index finger.
It was oddly humid today, if you continued moving, you’d break a slight sweat. You can't even imagine what your daughter—Stacy must be feeling, running around on the large grassy field under the beaming bright sun.
You were proud of your baby girl though, nonetheless. And so was Rafe, of course.
You shout loudly when you notice the game is about to start, bellowing out a “Go Stacy!”
Stacy’s eyes easily found yours, for you and Rafe would always sit in the same spot on the bleachers.
Her eyes were slightly wide due to your shout, despite you and Rafe always cheering for her during her games.
She’s motioning for you to ‘shh’, putting her fingers to her lips before getting into her position.
“Which one’s yours?” You hear to the left of you, the unknown voice makes you tear your eyes away from the field.
You smile shortly at the unfamiliar man next to you, “Number 22.”
You can’t help but notice how he’s rather scruffy looking, an odd contrast to your upkept husband with his neatly buzzed hair.
“Mine’s number 13.” He says, flashing his teeth at you.
You gasp and shoot up a little, making you look down at your daughter on your lap. “Valerie’s yours? Oh she’s just the sweetest!”
The man chuckles, looking deeply in your eyes. This makes your eyebrows raise, slightly in confusion, but mostly in discomfort.
He hadn’t done anything out of the norm, you’d randomly talk to the other moms around too, but something about him made you uncomfortable.
“My name's Brandon, and yours?”
You introduce yourself briefly, before turning back towards the game.
His eyes dart to your left hand, looking for a ring, for any indication that you belong to someone else. He smiles sharply when he finds your fingers bare. This goes unnoticed by you.
Little does he know, you do have your ring on, just around your neck.
Your biggest fear was your youngest accidentally pulling off your ring, resulting in you losing it. Or, even worse: it pokes her eye or something of that nature.
You suppose you could be considered a ‘Helicopter-mom’ at times, simply going to the extremes to make sure your kids are happy and healthy at every point in time.
Rafe is the exact same way, maybe even a little worse. But you knew he was just protective, he loves this life that he has with you, since he had no idea the two of you would’ve been together for so long.
You had started dating Rafe when you were 18 and he was 19. It was good for the first few months, disregarding the few arguments that you had. But then, you had caught Rafe doing cocaine.
You don’t think you’ll ever be able to shake the look on his face from your memory.
You weren’t supposed to be at the party, you said you were busy filling out college applications.
So when he was mid-line, and he saw you standing there all dolled up, watching him with glossy eyes, he felt his heart shatter into pieces.
You weren’t supposed to find out, he wanted to keep this away from you, to keep you close to him.
He promised that he would try and stay sober for you, but eventually he’d give in every time the opportunity was in front of him. This resulted in several arguments, and surprisingly, a break up.
But things are different now. You both are in your 30’s, you got married, and of course, had two beautiful babies together.
Rafe knew he’d be crazy to fuck things up now, when he has the perfect life right in front of him.
Speaking of which; you’re really starting to wonder what the hell is taking him so long just to get some goddamn hotdogs and drinks.
You’re bouncing your knee anxiously, which makes your daughter giggle. You wish she wasn’t finding this amusing, but you know she can’t help it.
“Well who’s this cute girl, huh?” The man coos, tickling your daughter’s side.
“Her name is Noelle.” You huff, your mood quickly shifting due to this stranger touching your daughter.
He lets out another chuckle, you wish you never had to hear it again. “Sounds like you’re quoting Teenage Dirtbag to me.”
You give him a pointed look, you’re really getting sick of his pestering. “That’s where I got it from.”
Abruptly, the crowd starts cheering madly. You look around and see Stacy's team celebrating briefly; they had just scored a goal.
You cheer and clap, grabbing Noelle’s chubby hands and making her raise her arms wildly while giggling with her.
“Y’know, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could-” Before Brandon could finish his sentence, none other than Rafe Cameron comes stomping up the bleachers, huffing and puffing angrily.
He sits down and sighs, “God, I’m sorry babe. The line was so long! I swear I’m going grey right now.”
“And I missed the goddamn play!” Rafe exclaims. He looks over at you and immediately goes quiet once he sees those wide baby eyes that look at him curiously.
“Da?” Noelle mutters, reaching her tiny hands towards Rafe’s larger ones.
“Yeah. Da’s here babygirl, do you want your food? Huh sweet girl?”
Rafe hands you your food, setting his food aside so he can put Noelle in his lap. He begins to split half his hotdog in pieces for her.
You glance to the left, you notice Brandon looking like a fish out of water.
Rafe is the CEO of one of, if not the biggest business company around. And Brandon had just borderline harassed his wife, who was holding his child.
Brandon sneers at the two of you in silence while the game continues, nearly boiling at the fact that he couldn’t have you.
Your head is laying on Rafe’s shoulders, you’re rubbing circles on Noelle’s shoulder as she settles down.
“Everything alright babe?” Rafe asks, trying to peer down at your face.
You untuck your necklace with your wedding ring from your shirt, fiddling with it. “Yeah, now that you’re here Ray.”
There’s silence between the two of you for a few seconds.
“
What does that mean?”
You hesitate to answer, but you do regardless, “Nothing! It’s just uh..That guy next to me, was kinda like hassling me I guess.”
This makes Rafe straighten his back.
“He do somethin’ to you doll?” Rafe questions in a whisper. You know you have about 30 seconds to try and calm him down before he’s banned from every soccer game left in the season.
“No, okay? I’m fine, it’s cool. I need you to calm down Ray.”
Rafe’s nose is flaring, “What about Ellie? Did he touch her?”
You feel your throat closing up, your heart is damn near pounding out of your chest.
You don’t say anything to Rafe, but that look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know.
You grab his bicep, trying to keep him grounded. Even though he’s changed, some parts of him haven’t.
Rafe speaks lowly in your ear, but not too much to frighten you in any way. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Don’t worry y’pretty little head about it.”
Rafe presses a firm kiss against your cheek, then presses a softer one to your lips.
After 30 more minutes, and 2 more goals, Stacy’s team wins.
You and Rafe cheer loudly, letting out “That’s our baby girl!”
You meet Stacy at the bottom of the bleachers, holding Noelle in your hand as the littlest claps her hands between Stacy’s face.
You’re too busy congratulating your daughter to notice Rafe pulling Brandon aside while his daughter, Valerie is off talking to her friends.
Rafe puts a firm hand on his shoulder, “Hey man.”
Brandon lets out a nervous laugh, “Hey there, Rafe Cameron, right?”
“Yeah, let’s keep this short. I better not see or hear you talking to my wife again, do you hear me? I don’t give a shit what happened.”
Rafe continues shortly, “And keep your fucking hands to yourself, if I find out you touched my either of my daughters again, I swear to God himself I’ll put you under.”
The two men are holding eye contact, one looks with confidence and borderline rage, while the other looks with fear.
Rafe walks down the bleachers, meeting you and your girls.
“You were amazing out there sweetheart!” Rafe smiles while pulling Stacy into a bear hug.
“Jesus dad, you’re crushing me!” Stacy laughs with a slight wheeze.
Rafe ruffles her hair and puts his arm around your neck.
“All good to go?”
You nod your head, and with that, the four of you begin to walk to Rafe’s parked car.
Rafe realizes that this isn’t the first time you’ve been hit on at a soccer game, or anywhere in fact. And this definitely won’t be the last.
Cause everybody’s in love with Stacy’s mom.
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fear-is-truth · 9 months ago
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THE DARKER THE FRUIT, THE SWEETER.
━╋ CHARLIE MAYHEW x nun!reader
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♱. content warning: mature content 18+・blasphemy・unprotected p in v・english is not my first language
a/n: i’m sorry i don’t know what possessed me
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FATHER CHARLIE MAYHEW sits back in a wooden chair, dark eyes following you closely, but not with the sanctity one expects from a man of god. he’s holding a bible in his hand, fingers idly brushing the worn edges, but the words that come out of his mouth have strayed far from the expected teachings.
“celibacy,” he declares, “is a widely misunderstood concept. it’s not about abstaining, but about control. mastery of the flesh, not rejection of it.”
you’re sitting across from him, hands folded neatly in your lap as you tried to maintain a composed front. you don’t bother to mask the skepticism in your tone. “is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night, father? that indulging a little bit isn’t breaking your vows?”
the soft mockery didn’t deter him. if anything, it fueled him. his expression does not falter; in fact, he smiles wider. “ah, but sister. did christ not spend forty days in the wilderness, surrounded by temptation, and come out stronger? his words are laced with arrogance, each one delivered as if it were irrefutable truth. the towel around his waist slips just a little, revealing more skin, but he makes no effort to adjust it. his gaze never leaves yours, and the audacity of it all strikes you.
“is it not written that to know sin, one must overcome it?
under current circumstances, charlie mayhew is a man of contradictions—utterly confident despite his obviously flawed reasoning. it’s impossible to tell if he truly believed what he was saying or if he simply liked bending the truth for his own purposes.
“so what you’re telling me,” your voice carried a soft lilt, lips curling as you meet his gaze, “is that celibacy is
 negotiable now? sounds a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”
slowly, you rise to your feet, deliberately turning away before bending down. the slit in your black habit parts slightly, revealing fishnet stockings, the round curve of your ass visible through the thin fabric.
“indulgence is sin when it lacks discipline,” he replies without skipping a beat, but there’s a new, raspy quality in his voice now.
“but when it’s controlled—when you allow yourself to feel something and rise above it—that’s where true strength lies. that’s power. that’s faith.” he’s idly stroking himself, slow pumps of his hand around the throbbing length. taking your own sweet time, you made a show of adjusting the strap on your high heels and allowing him to see the red lacy thong underneath as the slit falls open a bit more.
“besides,” he continues, “what’s the harm in understanding sin—up close? is it not our duty to learn the limits of our restraint, to test our strength?”
not answering, you simply sashay toward the priest, heels clicking softly against the floor, until you stop directly in front of him. his eyes follow your every movement as you free yourself of your garments, though the smirk on his lips never falters. you reach down and tilt his chin up with one finger,
“for someone who preaches so much about temptation,” you purr, “you sure don’t seem eager to resist it.”
he raises a brow, but before he can respond, you swing a leg over his lap, straddling him with deliberate slowness. your hand slides down his chest, fingertips brushing against smooth skin. his breath catches as one of your hands grazes over his toned abs, while the other squeezes his face with a teasing pressure.
“tell me, father.”
leaning in, you press your lips to his. when he doesn’t pull away, you deepen the kiss, gently pulling his lower lip between your teeth. his breath shudders as you release him, eyes scorching with lust.
“is this what you had in mind when you swore to be devout?”
a stretched groan escapes his lips when you guided the tip of his shaft between your slick folds. carefully, you sink down onto him, relishing in the tight, hot stretch—inch by glorious inch. your eyelids momentarily flutter shut as you were fully impaled on his cock, and just when you thought he’s about to kiss you again, charlie dips his head down. you gasped when you feel his tongue tracing slow circles around the areola before finally wrapping his lips around your nipple.
“ooh,” you manage to breathe out, and you immediately feel him smile against your breast. charlie starts to thrust up into you, his girth stretching you out to the extent that you can practically feel every ridge and bump of the veins that scattered along his length dragging against your walls. ripples of pleasure course through your body, the cross pendant you wore around your neck bouncing between your breasts with the motion.
the small room is soon filled with the slapping sounds of skin on skin, coupled with the wet suction of your pussy swallowing his cock, occasionally punctuated by your whimpers and his moans.
it doesn’t take long for the hot coil inside of you to snap. a powerful orgasm tears through your body, inner walls convulsing around him. within seconds, his seed is spurting into your womb, triggering aftershocks that left you trembling like a leaf in high wind.
charlie’s head falls back to rest against the wall behind him, as his cock continued to twitch deep inside you, residual spasms in sync with the weak fluttering of your pussy around him. your body is still tingling, a pleasant, dizzy warmth spreading through you.
“jesus
” you mumble, the words slipping out before you can stop them. he chuckles dryly, the sound rumbling through his chest as his hand lazily trails up your back.
“no, sister.” he murmurs, toying with a strand of your hair, gently tugging.
“it’s ‘father charlie’ to you.”
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masterlist
ïŁ© fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.
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444lotus · 11 months ago
Text
how i manifested (+revised) my dream body ౚৎ
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This is my first post on my new account, though I am NOT new to the law and NOT new to loablr either. This post is specifically about how I manifested my dream body instantly with no technique besides knowing :)
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PART ONE - the old story
In the old story, I was so fixated on my body and my weight all of the time, I was tracking my calories and weighing myself and my food obsessively and constantly gaining and losing weight. Back then, my beliefs were that 1) Excess food causes weight gain, 2) If I don't track my food and weigh myself, I will become too fat/skinny, and 3) There is something wrong with my body, and I need to diet/exercise to fix it.
Noticing these beliefs were key to changing the way I viewed food and my body, and therefore changing how I knew food to effect me and how I knew my body to be.
When I was overweight, I knew my body was too big, I knew I was eating too much, I knew excess calories made me gain weight. When I was underweight, I knew I had no appetite, I knew I was too bony, I knew that exercise makes you gain muscle which is why I had none, etc. I had to identify the limiting beliefs that made me know my body was a certain way.
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PART TWO - writing the new story
Once I identified the beliefs that were holding me back and kept me from my goals ("I know I eat too much, even if I affirm I'm skinny, I'm still going to gain weight."), I could then change them. I wrote down a list of these beliefs, like I did above, and came up with reversals. For example;
"I overeat, so I will gain weight" -> "Calories aren't even real, so I can eat whatever I want and stay the same weight."
"I eat junk food, so I'll never be skinny" -> "I love how fast my metabolism is, I can eat junk all day and still stay so skinny." or "Junk food is just like other foods. Raspberries can't make me fat so neither can hamburgers."
"I don't exercise enough to be toned" -> "It's crazy how I'm naturally so toned and fit without trying."
The key for me was changing key beliefs that kept me dieting and exercising to lose weight, to sever the tie between calories consumed and weight, and hours exercising and muscles. These are limiting beliefs. We literally create our reality. Not ice cream, not soda and chips, none of that can overcome YOU as a divine creator. It sounds silly when you spell it out like that, doesn't it?
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PART THREE - how i did it
Okay, now we understand that the secret is to change the rules of our own reality to allow us to know a higher truth (my higher truth? I am a skinny legend). So how do we put this into practice?
All you have to do is know. You set these rules, so you know they are true, reality is bound to them. You must know you are successful, know that reality is in the 4d, and feel truly satisfied in that realm. You can do this using whatever method you need to, but personally, I just knew deep within me that I was my ideal weight, and that nothing could change that, that is simply the reality, that is simply the way things are. I thought about old pictures I took of myself, and remembered how skinny I looked in them, I thought about the last time I saw my friends and how much littler they said I'd gotten, I thought about the last time I stood on the scale and how it read the exact weight I knew myself to be. And I just knew, deep within me, that was simply how things were.
And the last step, for me, was to feel truly joyful at this realization. To feel satisfied it came into fruition. Without seeking confirmation, because I already KNEW.
And what do you know? Pictures of myself in my phone from weeks ago, they were my ideal body. The girl I saw in the mirror when I stood up from my meditation? She had my ideal body. My clothes? XS and S, all of them. I had revised my ideal body all the way back to the day I bought them. And confirmed this by checking pictures I took in the dressing room.
I'm telling you right now it is possible if you know in your heart you've always had your desire. It's always been fulfilled within you. You make the rules because you are a divine creator. Nothing outside of you can change what you know to be true.
That's all for now ౚৎ
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lemonlover1110 · 1 year ago
Text
𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑
Sukuna
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Pairing: Trueform!Sukuna x f!Reader
Summary: Your husband was an heir, and you have to fulfill the order.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, vaginal fingering, anal fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), spitting, slight use of tummy mouth, double penetration, tit sucking (and biting), breeding kink, degrading, sukuna is... sukuna but fluffier to his wife
*he's been on my mind lately and I'm going insane
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“I want an heir.” Sukuna brings up one fateful night as you walk over to lay down beside him. It’s not a request, it’s an order that you must fulfill, just like everything that involves Sukuna. Strangely enough, Sukuna has been the one that’s been delaying having a child since you’ve been nearly begging him to have a baby with him for the past year. It seems he’s finally given in to the idea though.
“What was that, Suku?” You ask, stopping in your tracks because he’s caught you off guard. He stands up from where he lays, towering over you. You look up at him, waiting for him to repeat himself but you should know better than anyone that your husband doesn’t like to repeat himself. But this time he does,
“It’s about time you give me an heir.” Which makes a smile spread across your face because it’s what you’ve been wanting. Sukuna has been the one that has been refusing to have a child so you don’t understand why he words it like that– But either way, you’re happy and ready to fulfill his every need. Before you can even agree to his order, his bottom hands are undoing your robe to get you undressed while his mouth goes down to your lips.
Sukuna has grown accustomed to kissing you, and handling your body more gently since you’ve asked him to. Compared to the beginning, he treats you like a petal. You like to think it’s his way of expressing his love for you since he’s not very vocal about it, and you know he doesn’t particularly enjoy kissing. His tongue meets yours while his hands try to undo the robe without tearing the fabric into pieces since he knows it’s one of your favorites.
He bites down on your lip causing a cry to leave your throat while he gives up on properly taking off your robe. You hear as the fabric rips, and maybe another time you would be upset about it but you’re too consumed by him to care. He’ll just get you another one. His two lower hands roam down your bare body. One hand gropes your breasts, his rough fingers pinching your nipples. He gets to your cunt, lightly slapping it before he runs two fingers through your cunt.
He pulls away from the kiss, letting your soft moans into the air when he begins to play with your clit. Sex for him has always been a selfish act but ever since his first night with you, he’s found pleasure in pleasing you. The sound of your moans in the air while he toys with you is the sweetest melody. He found it dumb at first, but now there are nights where he’s simply buried between your thighs with the purpose of making you come as much as he can. 
Sukuna picks you up and puts you down on the bed. Taking a moment to appreciate how beautiful his wife looks when she’s under him. Fuck, you’re so fucking small compared to him. It’s nothing new, really, all the people that Sukuna has been with are miniscule compared to him. But he just loves the way that you look under him since he’s never seen a more beautiful human being. He’d never tell that to you though.
Sukune begins to tease your entrance, threatening to push a finger into your cunt but he doesn’t. He runs his fingers through your folds, while his thumb plays with your clit. He lowers his head, his tongue circling your nipple before his mouth wraps around it and he begins to suck.
“Can you put a finger in, Suku? Please
” You ask him, your needy cunt in need of his fingers inside of you. He bites down on your nipple, causing a cry to leave your lips before he unlatches and lifts his head up. 
“I hate beggars.” Sukuna reminds you, and you’re about to apologize but he shoves three fingers into your mouth, gagging you with them before you can even get a word out. He really knows you better than anyone. “My woman doesn’t apologize to anyone either. Not even her own husband.”
Sukuna finally pushes two fingers inside your pussy, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. His fingers are just so fucking big, and they reach every right spot. Sukuna feels you moan around his fingers before he takes them out of your mouth. He curves the fingers inside your cunt so they hit against your sweet spot. One hand goes to your breasts, and he begins to play with your nipples. 
“It feels so good, Suku.” You moan, your back arching as pleasure consumes you. Sukuna’s multiple hands are
 Everything.
He takes his fingers out of your cunt, moving the wet digits down to your asshole. He spits down on your cunt and spreads his saliva down. He presses his fingers against your asshole as he lowers his head. He kisses from your lower abdomen to your pussy, where his tongue then runs through your folds and then up to your clit. His tongue begins to flick your clit while he pushes two fingers into your asshole, making you moan loudly.
“Fuck– Fuck!” You yell, as Sukuna also pushes two fingers into your cunt again. It’s like music to Sukuna’s ears. It’s too much for you, two fingers in your ass, two in your pussy, and his tongue on your clit. Both holes squeeze around his fingers as his tongue lays flat on your clit.
“Sukuna! Shit, it’s so fucking good.” You bite down your lip, trying to not bring too much attention to yourself. Unluckily for you, as soon as Sukuna knows that you’re making yourself quiet, he stops. He lifts his head up and takes his fingers out of your pussy and asshole, leaving your holes to clench around nothing.
“I want my woman to be loud. Don’t be a fucking bitch, do you hear me?” Sukuna kneels, towering over you again and you nod in response. You use your forearm to hold yourself up and look at him. He undoes his robe, and you lick your lips as you watch your husband get completely naked. Your thighs come together as your eyes fall on his two thick cocks, feeling excitement consume you. Sukuna smirks, watching you prompt yourself up to get his cocks in your mouth. He stops you, his hand going on your chin. “You’re a cute little bitch
 You’ll be okay. You can handle them both, right?”
“Yes, lord.” You nod in response, and Sukuna treats you as if you were a doll– More gently than he would treat an actual doll but he moves you as if you were one. He forces you to hold your legs to your chest, and the large tongue on his mouth licks your pussy, and moves down to your asshole. He’ll be sweet with you, especially since you brought back the name that you hadn’t used since your marriage.
The tongue teases the entrance of your asshole but Sukuna stops before anything else happens. He lays his cocks down on your lower abdomen, and you deeply inhale. You wonder how it’ll fit inside of you, but it always fits so you shouldn’t worry.
Sukuna doesn’t bother teasing the cock that goes in your pussy, immediately pushing it in which causes a loud moan to leave your lips. He doesn’t waste time in putting the second cock in your ass, and once you’re stuffed with him, he begins to move. He’s gentler with his thrusts this time, which you certainly appreciate since he didn’t give you time to adjust. 
He’s grown impatient with the idea of you giving him an heir, he can’t waste anymore time. And fuck, he just needs to feel you wrapped around his cocks. You don’t seem to be struggling either way, quite the opposite, you moan in pleasure with his every movement.
“I’m going to fill your womb up with my seed, and you’re going to give me what I deserve.” Sukuna says through gritted teeth to not let out another sound that hints at how good you’re making him feel. Sukuna will never say anything that could hint at him being happy with someone else– The most you’ve ever gotten from him was a marriage
 order. Sukuna didn’t propose marriage, he simply told you that you two would be getting married. But you know that the face that he’s making and the way he talks, he’s feeling good. 
“I’ll give you what you want, lord.” You respond as his cocks hits every right spot, filling you with so much pleasure. His thrusts pick up speed, and your eyes begin to roll to the back of your head. Sukuna’s hand begins to play with your clit, and you begin to squeeze around him even more, causing him to hiss. Fuck, he can’t wait to see you big and round with his child. Sukuna can’t wait for his seed to bless your womb and all the changes that it’ll bring to your body. He can’t wait to steal some of the milk that’s meant for his child.
“Going to fill you up with my child.” Sukuna groans as you squeeze around his cocks. It’s too much for you, especially after he’s worked you up. You’re loudly moaning his name, just like he wants you to. He wants the servants to hear how he pleases his woman. It’s all too much for you since he’s filling up both of your holes and toying with your clit.
You shut your eyes, and see white as you squirt all over him, causing a chuckle to leave his throat. He lightly slaps your clit as you make a mess all over him. Sukuna can’t help but praise you for it, which is definitely something rare, “That’s my good wife.”
Sukuna bites his tongue, loving how tight and warm your holes feel. But you won’t get a noise out of him. His hand goes to your throat, however, it just rests there while his thumb presses against your lips, “The only woman worthy of carrying my child.”
Sukuna gets rougher with his thrusts as his release approaches. The thought of you carrying his baby makes him go insane. He’ll make sure it happens soon, he’ll fuck you every night until there’s confirmation that you’re expecting his successor. 
He mutters your name before he fills you up with his cum. He doesn’t dare to pull out until both of your holes are completely filled with his seed. When Sukuna pulls out, he lays down beside you. He brings you into his embrace while you take deep breaths.
Sukuna kisses the top of your head, one of his hands running up and down your back. Maybe Sukuna hasn’t exactly been fond of kissing before, but it’s definitely his favorite thing to do with you now.
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