#so i think their days at pisa was pretty fun

[thebookbindersblog]

Good afternoon,

It’s been a busy day exploring Florence. Isaiah didn’t want to post today since he thinks it’ll be a negative post, so I’ll try and be positive for the both of us. It’s going to be a long one so bare with me 😬

The remainder of our train ride to Florence yesterday was smooth. We took a TGV train which meant we got here pretty quickly. We hopped off the train and walked towards our bus stop. What was supposed to be a 10 minute bus ride to our hotel turned out to be a 50 minute one.

You know that scene in Harry Potter where the bus picks up Harry and it goes speeding down the streets narrowly missing pedestrians and other obstacles? Well, that was our experience with public transportation.

We got on the bus excited to get to the hotel. As we approached the next bus stop, I hit the stop button. We picked up our suitcases and headed towards the exit. The bus driver stopped, then floored it without even opening up the doors for us. We got propelled backwards. I was able to grab on to the seat and saved my self from injury. Isaiah wasn’t so lucky, his body crashed into a seat and slammed his knee right into the corner of it. Several people gasped in concern with one saying uy, uy, uy. Upset and rightfully so, Isaiah told the driver off. We sat back down and waited for the next stop. This time, there were people waiting for the stop so he had to open the doors. That incident caused us to haul 2 luggages and a bag down cobblestone streets. It took us over 40 minutes to get to our hotel.

We got to the hotel determined not to let that ruin our trip to Florence. Our hotel room is really nice. We even have our own private terrace. We got settled in then went out to look for dinner. We found a place down the street called Perseus. I had the spaghetti (typical, I know) and Isaiah had Gnocchi. Both meals were delicious.

This morning, we went downstairs for breakfast. We were pleasantly surprised by the food options and quality. I had a typical American breakfast with croissants and a cappuccino and Isaiah had his usual trio of meat, cheeses, and bread.

After breakfast, we ventured out to the center of Florence. We knew we weren’t going to take public transport because of our experience last night so we walked. Florence is very walkable so it wasn’t necessary anyway since everything is a 15-20 minute walk from us. I would only suggest getting transportation on arrival and departure since walking around with luggage isn’t ideal.

There are so many historical landmarks and although there was a ton of construction going on, we were still able to enjoy the city.

Our last adventure of the night was supposed to be a guided skip the line tour to the Academia Galleria Museum. We were directed towards a line and were told to find a person in grey once we enter. Well when we finally got inside close to 45 minutes later, there wasn’t a tour guide with a grey shirt waiting for us. We didn’t let that deter us from having a good time though. We still had the opportunity to see some of Michelangelo’s works and Catholicism paintings.

After the museum we stopped by All’Antico Vinaio, the world famous sandwich shop. We both got sandwiches which were a fun mixture of ingredients and the bread was divine. When we finally got back to the hotel we went down to the bar and ordered drinks. Isaiah ordered the Campari spritz and I had a Mai tai. All in all it was a successful day.

We head out to see the city of Pisa early morning, so we are calling it an early night tonight.

-Susie

[ducavalentinos]

Il ragazzo ama l'eleganza e il lusso, le belle donne, i bei cavalli e gli oggetti preziosi. Sarà una constante in tutta la sua vita questo amore per il bello. Una sera invita a cena il suo compagno di studi Giovanni de’ Medici, che è già cardinale, e lo sconvolge per la qualità e la quantità di arazzi, tappezzerie, ori e argenti presenti in casa, a tal punto che il futuro Leone X non se la sente di contraccambiare l'invito per evitare di sfigurare troppo. Il Borgia non vive di soli divertimenti e studi, poco prima de laurearsi conosce personalmente Lorenzo Il Magnifico e interviene presso la corte medicea per segnalare persone a lui gradite. Quando Lorenzo de’ Medici muore Cesare lo onora con un componimento che probabilmente ha fatto realizzare da qualche umanista della sua cerchia, dimostrando in questo modo di essere piú un principe/ambasciatore che uno studente.

Cesare Borgia: Le campagne militari del cardinale che divenne principe. Andrea Santangelo.

[mikimeiko]

Day 8 - Lazio, Abruzzo

Viareggio>Pisa>Civitavecchia

The sea looks particularly blue this morning <3

The Etruschi Line from Pisa to Civitavecchia is very pretty, rolling hills, sunflower seeds, the occasional view on the sea.

Civitavecchia (Lazio)

I love when you can see the sea from the station<3

Civitavecchia is a little disappointing. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but there isn't much to see (unless I didn't find the things to be seen? But I don't think so).

The seaside part is the most interesting area, with the harbour, the Michelangelo fortress and various bars (like... stands with seating? I have no idea what they are called in English).

I got a blue tropical granita, which was fun in its unrealness.

I am also the closest you can be to Sardegna (which you can't see from here because closest doesn't mean close XD)

Civitavecchia>Rome>Avezzano

It's a good thing that I had half an hour to change trains, because the train from Civitavecchia arrived at the very last, very removed from everything platform, and I had to walk... a lot to get to the other train.

It's kind of ridiculous that there are bars and shops that you can see into from the platform but YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE the station to enter. I mean... I would have eaten something there if I could access it from the platform! What were they thinking?!

The Rome>Avezzano line is incredibly beautiful, especially the part before getting to Tivoli (after is still beautiful ma in a less unique way). I'm so sad that I don't have much footage because the train was already semifull when I got on it and I didn't have a window seat.

Avezzano (Abruzzo)

My room has a small balcony from which you can see the mountains!

Avezzano is... fine. Nothing special, but with some good bits. (I had no real expectations, in contrast to Civitavecchia, and that of course makes me appreciate it more).

I had saffron (!!) and savoury pistacchio ice cream in the main square, which was full of people and kids enjoying themselves in the cooler hours before dinner.

The square at dusk looks very pretty.

Traveled: 407km (total 1543km)

Intro | Go back to Day 1 | Continue to Day 9

[flirting-with-psychology]

1. I own a ferret. 2. My best friend is my boyfriend 3. My best friend is a girl 4. I use the word super way too much 5. I am a boy 6. I like My Chemical Romance 7. I own more than 100 CDs 8. I like discussing politics 9. I collect state quarters 10. The Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game. 11. I have Cingular 12. I love MAC makeup 13. I smoke too much 14. I own more than 5 bandanas 15. My favorite movie is Kill Bill 16. I watched Lamb Chop when I was young 17. I have my ears gauged 18. I can do HTML without guidance 19. I watch Spongebob Squarepants regularly. 20. I go to the movies at least once a week 21. I play guitar or bass 22. I love Elvis 23. I’ve had a mo/bi/trihawk before 24. I have met my favorite band 25. I like to hardcore dance 26. Something’s outside my window 27. I believe in ghosts 28. I do drugs regularly 29. I am straightedge 30. My favorite feature about myself is my lips 31. I have never consumed alcohol 32. I want a tattoo. 33. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell. 34. I have seen Conan O'Brien live. 35. I hate MTV 36. I used to watch Cheaters every week 37. I have my own vaccuum 38. Frank Sinatra is awesome 39. I sleep with a stuffed animal 40. I am scared of werewolves 41. I watch hockey regularly 42. I am originally from New York 43. I own an iPod 44. Some people aren’t funny. 45. I hate school. 46. My favorite vegetable is lettuce. 47. Tickle fights are fun. 48. I am currently unemployed. 49. I have my license 50. I hate spelling mistakes 51. I love Spanish class 52. I live in a big city 53. I have been to the Grand Canyon 54. I listen to music to fall asleep 55. I watch TV to fall asleep 56. I only get a few hours of sleep each night 57. I’m relatively innocent. 58. I am a size 3 or smaller 59. I’m bored. 60. Purple is my favorite color. 61. I hate flossing 62. I have a car. 63. I believe in God 64. I’m in love. 65. I used to love Unwritten Law. 66. Reno 911 is my favorite show. 67. There is a mini stapler on my computer desk. 68. Cuddling’s my favorite. 69. For sure. 70. I have a flip phone 71. I love my handwriting 72. I own a Louis Vuitton handbag 73. I want to be an astronaut. 74. I love the song Dragostea Din Tei 75. 50 Cent is not talented 76. I like scanners better than digital cameras. 77. I own at least one Punk-O-Rama CD 78. My room is sound proof. 79. I’m 5'5 or less 80. Lying pisses me off 81. I backstab people. 82. I have been in a fist fight. 83. I have PaintShop Pro. 84. It’s almost midnight 85. My nightlight is cracked 86. I only listen to Dashboard Confessional when I’m sad 87. And I feel like a pansy when I do so 88. I hate metal 89. I’m in a band. 90. Napoleon Dynamite is annoying now. 91. I love hickeys 92. I want to lose weight 93. My favorite channel is the Food Network. 94. I don’t have a CD burner. 95. Pixar is stupid except for the Incredibles 96. I own an apartment/house 97. I am engaged. 98. My computer’s a Gateway. 99. I hate driving. 100. I like watching boys sleep. =========================== 01. I miss someone right now 02. I don’t watch much TV these days 03. I love olives 04. I love sleeping 05. I own lots of books 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses 07. I love to play video games 08. I’ve tried marijuana 09. I’ve watched porn movies 10. I have been in a threesome 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy 13. I have acne free skin usually 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton 15. I curse frequently 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year 17. I have a hobby 18. I’ve been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me 20. I’m smart 21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal 23. I hate the rain 24. I’m paranoid at times 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars. 26. I need money right now! 27. I love Sushi 28. I talk really, really fast sometimes 29. I have fresh breath in the morning 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. 34. I shave my legs 35. I have a twin 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past 37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. 38. I like the way that I look sometimes 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months 40. I know how to do cornrows 41. I am usually pessimistic 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I think prostitution should be legalized 44. I think Britney Spears is hot 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past 46. I have a hidden talent 47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. 48. I think that I’m popular 49. I am currently single 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex 51. I enjoy talking on the phone 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants 53. I love to shop. 54. I would rather shop than eat 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. 56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders 57. I’m obsessed with my Livejournal 58. I don’t hate anyone. 59. I’m a pretty good dancer 60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington 61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God/ a higher being. 64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months 66. I love drama. 67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before 68. I’ve rejected someone before 69. I currently have a crush on someone 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have children in the future 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club 76. I’m not allergic to anything 77. I have a lot to learn 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie 80. I am sometimes shy around the opposite sex 81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before 84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past 85. I own the “South Park” movie 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal 87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum 88. I enjoy some country music 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it 98. I have dated a close friend’s ex 99. I’m happy as of this moment 100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s  101. I have slapped john dasaro and chris burke in the face..on the same night 102. I haven’t showered in two days… and I like it. 103. i own every f***er here 104. I procrastinate all the time 105. I’m a nerd 106. I LOVE the movie The Wedding Singer. 107. i hate corn. 108. i’ve attended the rocky horror picture show 109. i’ve never seen Bambi the movie 110. Thinking about the future terrifies me 111. Without music there would be no point in living. 112. If I could change one thing about myself I would 113. If someone of the same sex liked me, I would date them. 114. I went to the mall today for 5 hours ================================ Would do Have Done

001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 002. Swam with wild dolphins 003. Climbed a mountain *004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 005. Been inside the Great Pyramid 006. Held a tarantula. *007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 008. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it. 009. Hugged a tree *010. Done a striptease 011. Bungee jumped *012. Visited Paris 013. Watched a lightning storm at sea *014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise several times *015. Seen the Northern Lights 016. Gone to a huge sports game 017. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa *018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *019. Touched an iceberg *020. Slept under the stars 021. Changed a baby’s diaper 022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon *023. Watched a meteor shower *024. Gotten drunk on champagne *025. Given more than you can afford to charity 026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 028. Had a food fight 029. Bet on a winning horse 030. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 031. Asked out a stranger 032. Had a snowball fight 033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 035. Held a lamb 036. Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one *037. Taken a midnight skinny dip 038. Taken an ice cold bath 039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 040. Seen a total eclipse 041. Ridden a roller coaster 042. Hit a home run 043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *045. Adopted an accent for an entire day 046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *048. Had two hard drives for your computer *049. Visited all 50 states 050. Loved your job for all accounts *051. Taken care of someone who was really sick *052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 053. Had amazing friends 054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country *055. Watched wild whales 056. Stolen a sign 057. Backpacked in Europe *058. Taken a road-trip 059. Rock climbing 060. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice *061. Midnight walk on the beach 062. Sky diving *063. Visited Ireland 064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them *066. Visited Japan 067. Bench pressed your own weight 068. Milked a cow 069. Alphabetized your records 070. Pretended to be a superhero 071. Sung karaoke 072. Lounged around in bed all day 073. Protested something you feel strongly against 074. Scuba diving *075. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 076. Kissed in the rain 077. Played in the mud 078. Played in the rain *079. Gone to a drive-in theater 080. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret *081. Visited the Great Wall of China 082. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 084. Started a business 085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 086. Toured ancient sites 087. Taken a martial arts class 088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight *090. Gotten married 091. Been in a movie 092. Crashed a party 093. Loved someone you shouldn’t have *094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 095. Gotten divorced 096. Started an office war 097. Gone without food for 5 days 098. Made cookies from scratch 099. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Made out in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark *113. Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself *114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie *116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved all of your hair off *120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in theatre 125. Read - and understood - your credit report *126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy *128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour *129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a TV game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being *151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Ridden on a passenger train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states *165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime *173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt *187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair blue 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested ====================== 1. I have self-mutilated before. 2. I still love the song Dragostea Din Tei 3. I used to like New Kids on the Block 4. The 80s was funny. 5. I have realtones enabled on my cellular phone. 6. Public bathrooms scare me 7. I have keys on my belt 8. I’m not wearing a belt 9. I hate writing 10. I hate reading 1. I love compilation CDs 12. My favorite teachers have all been guys 13. I think Bad Religion’s only been around for ten or so years 14. I don’t know who Bad Religion is. 15. I don’t wear my hood unless it’s raining 16. I enjoy smaller clubs rather than big ones 17. I’ve put a song on repeat for more than 8 hours 18. I have sound on my computer  19. Someone wants my hiney. 20. My mom loves Elvis 21. I have my own computer 22. I live on the east coast 23. My favorite animal is a kangaroo 24. I’m on vacation 25. I don’t own a pair of ripped jeans 26. I am very insecure somewhat 27. I love to dance 28. I curse way too much. 29. I choose the pansy way and star out my curse words (f*ck) 30. I feel dumb because I was just called a pansy 31. I have a flatscreen computer 32. I collect something. 33. I’m married 34. I won’t date someone who’s smaller than me smaller, as in also shorter? 35. Brass knuckles are the shit. 36. I own a hand puppet 37. I write with blue pens 38. I wear eye makeup almost every day 39. I wish I lived somewhere other than here 40. I don’t own a band shirt. Not yet anyway.. 41. I love techno. 42. I have my nipples pierced 43. I’m shitty at wrapping presents 44. I know someone in the KKK 45. I’m racist/anti-semitist. 46. I don’t know what those mean. 47. I love life most of the time 48. I have posters all over my room 49. I’ve never been a camera whore with someone.. And I want to. 50. I’m halfway done 51. I wish I lived in the 80s 52. I know what the term borgie means 53. I’m interested in social hierarchy. 54. I love music videos. 55. I have a DVD player 56. I’m drunk right now 57. I’m listening to music 58. I have a big screen TV 59. I have an STD 60. I know the singer of the Clash’s name 61. The only IM program I have is AIM 62. I skateboard regularly 63. I live on the north side of town 64. I have been to Alaska 65. I’ve worn a cowboy hat 66. I watch late night infomercials for retarded, unnecessary things 67. I LOVE DOING THE DEATH GROWL TO MY FAVORITE METAL SONGS. 68. That last question was dumb. 69. I know what the word “peligroso” means in English 70. I speak another language fluently 71. I’ve been in a limo 72. I own a bong 73. My lungs hurt 74. I know someone who’s committed suicide 75. I’ve got a six pack and I don’t need you! 76. I know what band sung the above line 77. I like strong boys. 78. I’m sick right now 79. I know someone who’s currently enlisted in the army 80. I do not own a color phone 81. My birthday is in September 82. I hate mall cops 83. I hate most cops in general 84. I’m wearing blush 85. I live in an apartment 86. I’m still in high school. 87. I own something from Victoria’s Secret 88. I don’t know a boy that wears girls pants 89. I’ve had the same best friend since I was 8. 90. Brownies are my favorite 91. So is cake 92. I’ve heard the song “Looks Good in Leather” 93. I own some sort of propaganda, fake or real 94. I deny the Holocaust happened 95. Kisses are my favorite sign of affection 96. I need to charge my phone 97. My purse could pass for a suitcase 98. I take birth control 99. I only buy what’s fashionable

1. I love bolding 2. I know someone named Mimi 3. I hate my old best friend 4. My favorite alcoholic drink is Jack n Coke 5. I have a digital camera 6. I’m talking to at least one person online 7. I like watching college basketball 8. I have never moved. 9. I have at least one cat 10. I have at least one dog 11. I’m going to see a movie tonight maybe 12. I make my own AIM icons 13. I’m in pain 14. I watch more than five shows a day 15. I love the Cure 16. My parents like some of the same music I do 17. I have never been to the dentist 18. I listen to the radio 19. I do my own laundry 20. I’ve made at least one article of clothing 21. I have/want something on my face pierced 22. I go to at least one concert a week 23. I’ve written a story 24. I’ve dyed my hair every color of the rainbow 25. I own a Grand Theft Auto game 26. My favorite pattern is camoflauge 27. I know someone who does/did cocaine 28. I have too many game systems 29. I love scary movies 30. I hate scary movies 31. I’ve had sex more than 5 times 32. My favorite chips are Lays Original 33. I think butter is unhealthy 34. I hate the Osbournes 35. I used to have dreadlocks 36. I need to take medicine for something 37. I suffer from insomnia 38. I speak ebonics 39. I’ve gambled 40. And won 41. I have at least one gay friend 42. I like going to pet stores 43. I own a dog toy 44. And I don’t have a dog 45. I own more than ten candles 46. I’ve smoked a cigarette in the shower before 47. I’ve flunked a class 48. I listen to music every day 49. I have more than one nickname 50. I wear pajamas when I feel like it 51. I’m wearing more than one jewelry item 52. I haven’t washed my hair in a week 53. I watch the Grammy’s every year 54. Along with the Macy’s Parade 55. My favorite season is winter 56. I have seen the All American Rejects live 57. And I’ve enjoyed it. 58. Boobs are nothing special 59. I go swimming at least once a week in summer. 60. I have a pool. 61. I’ve gone skinnydipping 62. I’ve played strip poker 63. And lost 64. I want a nautical star tattoo 65. My cell phone turns off when it’s charging 66. And it pisses me off 67. I used to buy my entire wardrobe from Hot Topic 68. I’ve been to albinoblacksheep.com 69. My favorite subject is History 70. And/or math 71. I am a republican 72. I am a democrat 73. I listen to the Used occasionally 74. I have been to the Warped Tour 75. I am part Mexican 76. I am part German 77. All of my grandparents are still alive. 79. I love bowling 80. I know that there is a South Park, Colorado 81. I love Dairy Queen 82. Sometimes I think I’m crazy 83. I own a Moffatts CD 84. I own a Backstreet Boys CD 85. I want plastic surgery 86. Operation, operation, snip and tie, snip and tie 87. I know what song that line is from 88. I have killed something [bugs!] 89. I’ve never had a Nokia cell phone 90. I’m never sarcastic 91. Light eyes turn me on 92. I have never been to a foreign country 93. I don’t eat enough 94. I own illegal weaponry 95. I know someone who has overdosed on something 96. And lived to tell about it 97. I don’t own a pair of mittens 98. I love the heat 99. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend/gf 100. I want to makeout.

[dauntless-cakeneedstobe-eaton]

Jeff x Annie One-Shot: AU-What if Jeff and Annie actually went skiing? (Community-Conventions of Space and Time, Season 4, Ep3)

You wouldn’t catch me anywhere near an Inspector Spacetime convention; no matter how many tears Troy cried, or how many staredowns Abed and I had. Skiing on the other hand, was cool. Skiing alone, however, possibly uncool. Therefore, it made perfect, logical sense to invite Annie skiing this weekend. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. Hear me out. Abed and Troy couldn’t even be considered options since they would be at the convention. Britta would obviously be there to support Troy, unfortunately being the third-wheel despite being his girlfriend. Shirley was busy with her kids. Pierce was never an option to begin with. Who was left you may ask? Annie Edison. 

“Do I look ready to shred some slopes?” Annie asked, coming out of her room. She was wearing a full-on neon pink sweatsuit. I smiled at her dorky pose. 

“Maybe in the early 80s. Annie, what’s with all of the pink?” She frowned at me.

“Look Jeff, I’m just trying to stay warm, ok? I’ve never been skiing before and I wanted to be as comfortable as possible.” Classic defensive Annie. She scanned my look up and down. “At least my color palette has character. Might want to try it sometime Mr. Neutral Colors.” Annie crossed her arms. This was a battle I definitely wasn’t going to win. Like every battle against Annie. 

“Okay, how about this. I’ll wear a pair of your neon pink socks, but you wear my black Gucci scarf?” Her eyes lit up. I knew she’d love the idea. Annie rushed back into her room and returned with a pair of neon pink socks in one hand, extending it to me. 

“This just might be the smartest idea you’ve ever had Jeff.” 

“Hey, I take offense to that. Everything I say is basically a TED talk in the making.” She laughed as I put on her socks. I don’t know why I only do stupid stuff like this for her. I looked at myself in the full body mirror and felt one hundred percent ridiculous. But, seeing her give me that wide smile she always does when something makes her happy made me think that small things like this were all worth it. I took the scarf hanging around my neck and put it on her, making sure that her hair wasn’t tangled inside it. I felt her eyes on me, making my heart beat a little faster than usual. 

“There, perfect.” I said looking back into the full body mirror in front of us. She blushed. 

“Perfect indeed.” Any bystander may mistake us for an actual couple. Especially with the way we were now coordinating outfits. Especially with the way we were standing right now--my hand on her shoulder, hers around my back. Even if it was just a small thought--a figment of my imagination if you will--it still made me grin...for reasons I still don’t fully understand. 

***

When we arrived at the ski lodge, it was teeming with people carrying skis and sleds. It was way more crowded than I thought it would be. Annie instinctively held onto my arm as we were walking over to the ski rental desk, her eyes worriedly scanning the room. I knew she hated large crowds. I reassured her that we would only be in here for a couple of minutes. 

There was a guy in front of us in line, along with a few of his friends. They were laughing and smiling, a little too loudly for my opinion. The commotion wasn’t helping Annie’s anxiety. I think the main guy felt me glaring at him because he turned around, his smile fading. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when he noticed Annie beside me. He looked at her from head to toe, his mouth agape. I felt my hands tense up. He probably noticed how pretty she was. 

“Have you guys been to this slope before? My friends and I are regulars here, and I don’t believe I’ve seen you before,” he stopped and looked at Annie. “And trust me, I would’ve remembered.” I felt my jaw clench. Annie--being Annie--blushed and giggled. She wasn’t used to being flirted with--which was something I was secretly grateful for, because something about it didn’t sit well with me. The guy, whose hair by the way looked like it had way too much product in it, extended his hand out to me. 

“Aiden.” What a jock. 

“Jeff. And this is my friend Annie. It’s our first time skiing together.” He shook my hand with an extra firm grip as if to say just friends? Okay. You said it, not me. 

“Well Jeff and Annie, it’s your lucky day because I can give you guys some free skiing lessons so you don’t hurt yourselves out there.” This guy needed to get some more original material. Did he think we were stupid? He obviously just wanted to get closer to--

“We’d love the extra help Aiden. Thanks for offering,” Annie replied, smiling sweetly at him. 

“Great! Meet me on the slopes. I’ll cover the tickets. Want a hot chocolate Annie? My treat.” She nodded her head politely while I took her arm and pulled her to the side. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” I questioned with what I hoped was only a hint of annoyance. 

“Jeff, Aiden was generous enough to offer us help. For free! I don’t want to make a fool of myself out there. I also don’t want to see you get hurt.” She gently touched my chest. Dang it Annie. Why did she have to be so genuinely caring all the time? I knew she meant what she said. I don’t know if I could live with myself if she ended up getting hurt on my behalf. 

“You know, if you wanted hot chocolate you could’ve just asked me. You didn’t have to let pretty-boy get it for you.” At this point, I wasn’t really thinking, I was just saying what I was feeling...which normally got me into trouble, but I didn’t care this time. Annie looked at me with a confused expression, but then her eyes softened. 

“Don’t worry Jeff. I know I can always count on you.” 

“Good because I always want to be there for you. Even for the small things.” We looked at each other intensely and I felt myself leaning in. 

“Ready you guys?” Annie and I got snapped back into reality as stupid-smirk Aiden returned with our rental equipment and Annie’s hot chocolate. She took it graciously while Aiden smiled warmly at her. His teeth were way to white. No way that it’s natural. 

***

We walked up to one of the smaller slopes. Aiden suggested that since Annie and I were beginners it was probably best we didn’t try one of the more advanced mountains yet. Annie remained between Aiden and I, even in the ski lift up the mountain. She stared out the window with wonder in her eyes. I liked watching her many facial expressions. Her eyes glowed whenever there was a scenic view. Her soft smiles were my favorite. That was Annie’s way of living in the moment. When she got extra excited about something, she would touch my arm and tell me to look out the window too. 

“So how do you guys know each other?” Aiden asked skeptically, his eyes pausing at Annie’s hand on my arm and my hand on her knee, which I don’t remember putting there. 

“We go to Greendale Community College together. We’re part of the same study group.” Aiden nodded thoughtfully. 

“I go to City College actually. I want to go into hospital administration some day.” No. freaking. Way. Annie turned her head towards him, suddenly gaining interest. 

“Really? Me too! Well the hospital administration part, not the City College part obviously…” she replied, nervously laughing. Aiden gave her an amused look. 

“We should totally meet up again. Maybe you could help me study some time?” My fists automatically balled up into fists once again. Annie looked down, noticing that my hand turned into a fist shape. She covered my fist with one of her hands, which instantly made me feel better. 

“Haha yeah maybe! I’ll think about it.” She gave me a concerned look as we got off the ski lift. I had a bad feeling about this ski trip after all. 

***

“The most important aspect of skiing is balance. The moment you lose balance is the moment where it’s game over. Believe me, falling downhill is not fun.” Balance. Sounds easy enough. I was able to get into my skis pretty easily and helped Annie get into hers without much of a fuss...except the three times that she almost tripped. Each time she caught on to a part of my jacket. 

“The Leaning Tower of Pisa has more balance than I do,” Annie let out a defeated whisper. I tried to hide my slight grin. Her perfectionist tendencies were coming out. I guess it was just a part of who she was, no matter if it was academic related or not. 

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. This is literally your first time skiing.”

“Easy for you to say. This is also your first time skiing and you're balancing just fine.” 

“Can’t argue with you there.” We both smiled and it felt like the most comfortable thing in the world. Being the iceberg he was, Aiden walked over in between us with--once again--an award winning line of his. 

“Before you guys go down this slope, watch me first. You’ll get to see the turning and jumping patterns I do.” He leaned forward and whispered something to Annie, resulting in a laugh before heading towards his ski lane. 

“So, what do you think of Aiden? He seems nice right?” Why was she interested in what I thought? 

“He seems a bit...arrogant…” I trailed off. Annie gave me a bemused expression, which then turned into a mischievous grin. 

“Jeff Winger, are you jealous?” 

“Pffffft. Me? Jealous? Are you being serious right now Annie? Why would I be jealous?” She was definitely enjoying seeing me squirm. I hated the fact that not only was she right, but I couldn’t think of any clever retorts because of that fact. 

“I honestly don’t know Jeff. I don’t think you have anything to be jealous of--” she started, and I was really curious to hear her continue, but Annie was cut off by a bunch of spectators talking about Aiden on the slopes. I hated to admit it, but Aiden’s skiing looked really impressive. He was--in the words of Annie--shredding the slopes. All of his landings were smooth, his turns were smooth...his whole body was moving in perfect coordination. 

“Wow! Aiden’s really good isn’t he? He could honestly be a professional!” Annie’s eyes were glued to him the whole time. I saw her jaw drop whenever Aiden made an impressive landing. Two could play at this game. Before Annie could stop me, I disappeared behind her and marched up to the top of the same slope Aiden was on. I had excellent balance too, you know. This skiing thing would be a piece of cake. As I jumped to start my descent, I realized that there was no going back after this. 

***

I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t move a single muscle. But I did feel this intense throbbing in my head and pretty much everywhere. Where am I? What happened? I was definitely lying down somewhere...it felt like a couch. I summoned the courage to slowly open my eyes. Everything was blurry at first as my eyes attempted to adjust to my surroundings. Man, even opening them hurt. The first thing I saw were a pair of blue eyes I could recognize anywhere in a crowd. 

“Oh my god. Jeff, you’re awake! Oh my god. Thank goodness,” Annie breathed a huge sigh of relief and collapsed her face on the side of the couch. It took me a second to realize that she was holding my hand. I felt it. I gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. 

“Did I ever tell you how blue your eyes are?” In hindsight, that was probably not the smartest thing to say, but it was an honest question. 

“I just watched you practically fall and flip over a huge mountain and lose consciousness and you want to talk about my eyes????” Annie raised both of her eyebrows in complete anger. 

She immediately winced after yelling. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you, especially right now when every bone in your body must hurt. It’s just that you made me so worried and when I saw you at the bottom of the mountain all limp and bleeding I didn’t…” She couldn’t continue because she started doing the last thing that would have ever crossed my mind. She started crying. Hearing the sound of Annie crying almost hurt more than my actual injuries. 

“Hey, look at me.” She turned her head upwards at me and I lifted my hand to wipe the tears from her face. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you.” She finally smiled.

“Jeff, why would you willingly plummet to your almost death? I know you do a lot of stupid things, but this may the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen you do.” She was absolutely right. Like always. 

“I just...felt the need to compete with Aiden. I wanted to show you that he wasn’t some hot-shot handsome guy that could do anything.” Annie looked bewildered.

“Why would you think that? I barely paid that much attention to him.”

“Oh come on Annie. This guy was a first-class flirt. It takes one to know one.” 

“Ah, ok. So he was flirting with me. I thought he was just being overly nice. Guys are just really hard to read sometimes.” She stared right at me when she said that last part. This time I had nowhere to hide. Particularly because if I tried, I’m pretty sure I would just fall over again. 

“I really am a pain in the neck, aren’t I? I’m all snarky and standoffish, and think I’m the coolest when in reality I can meet my demise when I notice a guy try to flirt with you.” I don’t think I’ve ever said anything that forward before. Annie’s eyes bulged out of her head, which confirmed what I said to be true. 

“You know I meant what I said earlier, right? You really have nothing to be jealous of. You have a lot going for you already. Sure you can be stupid sometimes, but you can talk your way out of any situation. I know you’re snarky, but you also have a heart made of jello,” she laughed at the end of that. She took a damp washcloth from a bucket on the floor and started dabbing it on my head. “I like you just the way you are. Even if sometimes you act like a handsome devil.” I flashed her one of my Jeff Winger smiles. My heart can turn into jello, especially for Annie. 

“Have I ever told you that you make a really good nurse?”

“Maybe once or twice.”

“Well, you make a beautiful nurse, milady. Caring for a person like me isn’t the easiest.” 

“Yeah well...you’re worth it to me.” I guess some good did come out of these injuries because that is the best thing anyone has ever said to me. And with that, I kissed the top of Annie’s hand. She was worth it to me too.

[heythererosetyler-blog]

10th Doctor Novels Review from ‘oh give me a break’ to ‘more of that please!’ There are DW novels and then there are DW NOVELS and today, fellow Whovians, I will be giving you MY list of the top 5ish best and worst novels from the 10th Doctors’ run.  I think all the books in the best category could be switched around depending on what you are looking for from #10.  For instance, I like him best when he is alone so you don’t get the classic, ‘must save companion’ story and I also like the one’s where he is a hairs-breath away from being killed. It bears repeating that, except for the book at the #1 spot which no one who has read it would ever argue that it doesn’t deserve that honor, this is simply how ‘I’ would rank them.  YMMV.   Also, and this is a big one if you keep going YOU WILL SEE SPOILERS, so proceed with caution if you plan on reading any of the books on the list.  So, go on and read/listen to it…. we will wait. (Taps foot and drums fingers while whistling the DW theme.  Badly.) Welllll…I said we will wait but, welllll…. I really meant that I would wait but welllll…. nah, you had your chance so just tread lightly.  Or read with your eyes closed because, and let me repeat this…. THERE ARE SOME MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS!! )))))*((((( Imho and without going into too much detail, the following can be passed by without missing out on anything.   In fact, if you read any of these first you may just be turned off of DW books completely.   The Last Dodo by Jacqueline Rayner Ummm, if you are interested in trying to figure out where the Dodo went, this might appeal to you.  The only interesting feature is that where it ended up is where the Doctor might end up unless he and Martha can free the missing creatures from all across the universe from this evil zoo.  Trust me, not as exciting as it sounds but it might have been if it been written better.  And in that same vein we have…… The Doctor Trap by Simon Messingham I don’t know what it is about trying to catch the Doctor because he is the last of his kind that just cannot be written right, but here is another.  I had high hopes for this one because it starts out pretty good but after the first chapter or so you just want to scream ‘CATCH HIM ALREADY AND MAKE THE PAIN OF READING THIS STOP!!’   The Wooden Heart by Martin Day Has nothing to do with a heart that is wooden.  I am still unsure as to why it is called what it’s called.  On the ‘Goodreads’ website the description of the book states: A trip through space becomes a nightmare walk in the woods for the Doctor and Martha.  Period.  End of description.  I think the reason it ends there is because there is nothing much more to say.  I have read much better fanfic than this.   Others that I consider a touch better, with maybe a little less snore factor are…. The Slitheen Excursion by Simon Guerrier The Many Hands by Dale Smith )))))*((((( Whew, let’s all take a deep breath and get into the tasty 10 tales, shall we? The Stone Rose by Jacqueline Rayner How do you take a story about ancient Rome, a 2000 year old statue of Rose aka the goddess Fortuna found at the British Museum, a genie, fake astrologer, evil sculptor and a crazed Doctor who is panic stricken while trying to save her but gets thrown into the REAL lion’s den and forced to fight in the Colosseum, and make it all work?  Write a book like this!  If you like your books a bit timey-wimey you will eat this one up.  AND this is the only published story where I think you will ever read the lines…. “(His) arms flexed and grabbed Rose into a hug. Soft lips pressed hers with a kiss of gratitude and joy and unspeakable pleasure at being alive.” A gazillion Ten/Rose shippers just punched the air.  They also would agree with Rose when, a line or two later she says…. “I think you must be real…my imagination’s not that good.”   Neither is ours Rose, neither is ours.  A fast and :: cough:: satisfying read! In the Blood by Jenny Colgan Ok, I know that a lot of people have a problem with the fact that whoever did the proof-reading was obviously sleeping on the job, but I still think it is a great book.   And strangely enough, I really wasn’t thrilled by the premise of the story; an infection is let loose over the internet turning normally calm, everyday people into violent pressure cookers who die when their anger gets too much for their hearts to handle.   What I DO love is how much the author just ‘gets’ the Doctor and Donna and the predicaments she puts them in.  I mean she just nails them and by doing so it elevates the story into something special.  On top of that Colgan introduces a near perfect pseudo-villain named Fief.  He is a big brute of a guy from the planet Cadmia who is unpredictable and whose loyalties are to his people and to retrieving the source of the infection no matter what he has to do to get it.  He is unfeeling, totally logical and robotic (picture the Terminator and he comes pretty close) and wears an earpiece that connects him to his world who are all raised on and made of sound.  When the Doctor entrusts him to care for Donna as he believes he is going to his death, Fief obeys and holds Donna back from following him.  He seems to connect to Donna which is fascinating to read.  Meanwhile back on the train, the Doctor disconnects the engine so that the cars slow and stop but he has to get the train to jump the tracks before it barrels into the town.  The big problem is that the train is suspended over a huge viaduct located in the Brazilian rainforest and it is one hell of a long way down.  And since the engine is heavier than he is it will burst into a huge ball of flame which our hero will land in as well.  Colgan comes up with some of the most beautiful writing here as the Doctor falls…. “And, as he cut through the air, all the things that fall pulsed through his head: a glorious downed pheasant on the wing; and a windfall apple in Lincolnshire; and a golden ball in Pisa; and a hammer and a feather on the moon; and a wall in the bitter east; and every passing snowflake and lonely airman and oh so many tumbling stars…. And he felt a part of all of these things.” There are other heart stopping moments in this book that make me wish it was available on audio.  Another winner! FUN MENTION/Target Novelization of…. “The Day of the Doctor” by Moffat Since we are talking Ten, I am adding this for one reason and one reason only: The Tenth Doctor kicks the Eleventh Doctors ass.  After releasing the initial script for the ‘movie,’ the Moff rewrote it to help clarify some things and give each Doctor a bit more back story.  It explains how Ten had been put in that very same cell during his Zygon investigation that all three of them got thrown in together.  Elizabeth tosses him in there because she believes him to be a spy and yet visits him often because he makes her laugh…. even during his torture on ‘the rack.’  Pre-picnic shows how he came within seconds of being beheaded (he wonders if both his head and body would regenerate if separated) and how he wanted his final thoughts to matter…. “Realizing he was now, beyond all doubt about to die, the Doctor rose up inside himself, steadied his hearts and chose his final thought with care. The children. The children of Gallifrey.” This I think, more than any other reason explains why he was so angry when 11 didn’t remember how many children died.  In the book version he becomes so angry that he gets in his face, screams at him about not remembering then grabs his shirt and throws him across the room into the opposite wall, knocking him out.  11 wakes up to seeing 10 pacing and mumbling about how he doesn’t hit people but then says, “But 2.47 billion children!” before launching himself once more at 11 but this time gets him in a headlock shouting “How could you forget?!  HOW COULD YOU FORGET?!” I would have paid good money to have seen this instead of merely reading it.   It is for everyone who sobbed their eyes out when 10 regenerated and still to this day have a hard time revisiting it.  This is all of us saying to 11, ‘Yeah, take THAT bowtie boy!’ even though we ended up liking him eventually. 3 - Peacemaker by James Swallow Quote: “A weapon is only a tool. I’ve heard a lot of people say that over the years. But so is a hammer, and if that’s the only tool you have, pretty soon everything starts to look like a nail.” Oh, I love that!   Peacemaker is a scifi western.  No, really it is and guess what…Swallow pulls it off!   The official summary is: “The peace and quiet of a remote homestead in the 1880s American West is shattered by the arrival of two shadowy outriders searching for 'the healer'. When the farmer refuses to help them, they burn the house and the owners to the ground, using guns that shoot bolts of energy instead of bullets... In the town of Redwater, the Doctor and Martha learn of a snake-oil salesman whose patent medicines actually cure his patient. But when the Doctor and Martha investigate, they discover the truth is stranger, and far more dangerous. Caught between the law of the gun and the deadly plans of intergalactic mercenaries, the Doctor and Martha are about to discover just how wild the West can become...” Whew, a lot to take in I know but very worth it.  The badie is a good one called the Clade which exist for one thing: war, death and destruction.  They are on earth to get back a gun that belongs to them and they will stop at NOTHING to retrieve it.   Problem is one man found it and the gun did what it is meant to do which is attach itself to its host and take it over completely.  It has the ability to heal but that is not its main purpose.  The Clade are simply machines that were made on a planet which was at war and let the Clade do the battles for them.  But then there was peace and the Clade had no purpose anymore so they waited and waited and finally decided to destroy the civilization that made them and then go out into the universe to fight battles wherever they could.   I can picture the Doctor donning a cowboy hat and riding a horse.  One of the many scenes I really like is when 3 gunslingers come out of a bar and challenge the Doctor to a duel.  It goes like this…. “The Lyle Brothers were quick on the draw, and they put a fan of bullets into the air before them; but they could only be as fast as human beings.  The Doctor was a Time Lord, and he moved between the ticks of the clock.  His hand blurred towards the holster on his hip, grabbing the slender wand there and thumbing the activation switch.  The sonic screwdriver droned loudly, and the air between the gunslingers and the Doctor shimmered like heat-haze off the desert.  Three speeding dots of lead stopped dead and flattened against an invisible wall of sound, before falling harmlessly to the dirt.” The end of the book was shocking when the Doctor makes the ultimate sacrifice by allowing the gun to take him over so that he can use it to save Martha’s life.  After that it was an internal battle between the Clade gun that was trying to possess him, and the Doctors own inner struggle which was a fascinating fight.   2 – The Eyeless by Lance Parkin Quote:  “Do you know what?  In the end their sacrifice made no difference.  Because THEY survived.  Thousands of them, millions.  Just one.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s the same thing. And…do you know what?... life is always better than death. Always.  Yet I want all of THEM dead.  Every single last one of them.  When did I become someone who wanted to exterminate?  When was that? When did they win?’   Take one brilliant hero, put him in a position where he must find and remove such a incredibly lethal weapon that it can destroy whole planets, then put it at the heart of a HUGE pyramid shaped fortress whose defense systems both inside and out are pin-point accurate to protect the weapon and you would have an good story.  THEN throw in an alien species called the Eyeless who are made of a glass like material and who also want the weapon and will kill the Doctor to keep him from getting it and you are probably reading a great story! THEN add in thousands of ‘ghosts’ that also inhabit the fortress and whose touch turns their victims into a ghost as well.  Even though they mean no harm, they do not understand their effect on those they touch which makes them yet another barrier for him to get by.  This up’s the entertainment factor, making it a fantastic story!  Finally throw into the mix one bully teenager who HATES the Doctor and also wants him dead, make the Doctor companionless, lonely and very introspective, have it all put together by an exceptional writer…. mix well and you have something that you lose sleep over and will reread multiple times.   The Doctor is up against an almost insurmountable goal that very nearly breaks him.  It is a breathless page-turner that is not for the faint of heart.  Parkin wrote this for a Doctor who is quick on his feet, a blazingly fast thinker who can stay one step ahead of multiple traps and enemies, one who is physically strong and extremely cunning.  In other words, Ten.  I can’t see any of the others having all those qualities in one dynamic package that Parkin could have placed center stage except him. For instance... “The Doctor had broken free of the Eyeless, but it still had a six-fingered handful of his coat and jacket lapel.  The Doctor was closed in, his arm under the Eyeless’ so that he had it in what he rather hoped was a wrestling hold…. The glass man shoved the Doctor against the back wall.  It wasn’t any stronger than a human being, although that was strong enough to push the air out of his lungs.  He recovered, twisted, managed to trip the Eyeless over and now he had it pinned, his knee in its back, although it was hard to keep hold….” And this was just one Eyeless.  At one point during the above scene Parkin describes it as almost like a waltz as the two vie for dominance over the other.  There is a lot of physical jousting and plain old hand to (glass) hand combat that I don’t think any of the others could have pulled off as well as Ten.   Where the ghosts are concerned there’s a part where he is surrounded by them as they advance. He is trying to get through to them that if they touch him, he will not become a ghost, he will just disappear.  But there is a part of him that is just so tired and feels so alone that he actually wonders if that would be a bad thing.   As they come closer you can tell that he is almost yelling at himself when he loses it, saying to them… “I’m the last one,” the Doctor said. ‘I’m it.  My people died.  All of them.  And Time Lords don’t die just the once, you know.  You have to kill us a lot more than once to make it stick.’   Still the ghosts pressed at him, some holding out their hands like beggars after a scrap of food, some shouldering towards him like they were after a fight, some apparently just wanting him to see them cry.  They kept coming, like waves to a beach.   ‘Do you know what?  In the end their sacrifice made no difference.  Because THEY survived.  Thousands of them, millions.  Just one.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s the same thing.  And…do you know what?... life is always better than death.  Always.  Yet I want all of THEM dead.  Every single last one of them.  When did I become someone who wanted to exterminate?  When was that?  When did they win?’   The ghosts weren’t listening.” At times it feels like you are eavesdropping on a therapy session because we get to hear the inner workings of his mind.  It is a fascinating way to understand this Doctor’s motivations and feel his loneliness.  This story is like one big ‘Escape Room’ where you either solve it or die trying.  As the Doctor would say, ‘no second chances.’  It’s that kind of story.   1 – Prisoner of the Daleks by Trevor Baxendale Scene: “The execution squad was already moving back towards Jennifer and Kuli, taking up extermination positions again. The Doctor ran over and placed himself between the Daleks, the little girl and her mother. “If you really want to kill them then you’ll have to go through me first.” “You can be disabled" warned Dalek X "Try It” The Dalek guns twitched impatiently in their sockets.  All eyes were on the Doctor, but he met the pitiless blue stares unflinchingly. “Harm them in any way and I will not cooperate. You can disable me and torture me again or even kill me, but you will NEVER get the TARDIS!” ― Trevor Baxendale, Prisoner of the Daleks Fellow Whovians please bow down and give thanks to the man who wrote possibly the greatest DW novel of all time, certainly of the reboot…. Trevor Baxendale.  Ok, ok so I haven’t read EVERY DW book so the ‘all time’ comment can be almost ignored.  I say almost because I have read reviews by those who have been fans from Hartnell to now who have also said that this is the absolute best ever written.  Don’t believe me?  Check out YouTube where there have been a couple of attempts at recreating scenes, or the video reading of the first chapter with intro and backdrop, whole pages filled with fan art of this very book on DeviantArt etc. etc.  Hell, just look at the ratings on Amazon for it.  Even Barnes and Noble along with the BBC thought it worthy of putting it, along with “Remembrance of the Daleks” from the Classic era into their ‘bonded-leather binding, with distinctive gilt edging and an attractive silk-ribbon bookmark’.  One thing I do take issue with is where it says that on Amazon that it offers…. “…hours of pleasure to readers young and old…” Ahhh, no.  “Prisoner…” is most definitely NOT for the young reader.  It is one of the most, if not THE most adult DW book I have ever read and I have read 95% of the reboots novels.  At times it is downright brutal.  There is no other book where a scene like this is featured…. (He is dragged into a room and forced to stand against a metal wall where he is bound to it via tight clamps around his ankles and wrists.  Then something is clamped to his head with hundreds of fine needles pricked his scalp.) “I AM DALEK X’ ‘Can’t say I’m pleased to meet you, sorry’ ‘YOU ARE ATTACHED TO A DALEK MIND PROBE.  IT HAS BEEN CALIBRATED TO YOUR SPECIFIC BRAINWAVE FREQUENCY.’ ‘You won’t get anything out of me’ the Doctor blurted. ‘THAT IS NOT THE INTENTION’ replied Dalek X. ‘YET.’ ‘I INTEND TO MEASURE YOUR CAPACITY FOR PHYSICAL PAIN’ said Dalek X ‘Oh.  Why?’ ‘BECAUSE I WISH TO.’ Suffice it to say that what they do to him is written pretty graphically and is even hard to re-type.  There is one part, however, I do like which comes after the second time (in a row, btw) they torture him that I think sums up 10 pretty well, “His brain felt like it was about to burst, but when the torment ended the Doctor found himself laughing.  “That’s it, isn’t it?” he panted, his breath ragged and thin.  “Your losing!” It’s the laughter that makes the scene so surprising and makes it uniquely Ten.   There they are, my least favorite and my best.  What do you think?  Which are yours?

[viajaanna]

34 Days, 14 Cities, 6 Countries, 1 Continent

Leia em Português abaixo.

In 88 days I'm headed off to do an Europe trip like I've never done before.

Years ago I had the opportunity of visiting Portugal two different times with my family. I was born in Brazil but my grandfather is Portuguese so we've always been connected with those roots. We made plans to head there again so I can get my citizenship in Portugal (which all children and grandchildren of Portuguese borns have the right to have, even if they were born abroad). But we've decided to take on a journey through six different counties as well--by train, car and plane.

We're departing from Brasília, Brazil, on December 5th and returning January 7th. We start off with twelve hours flight to Lisbon where we're staying until the 9th when we depart to the city of Seia, where my grandfather was born, so we can do the not fun paperwork things. Next up is Sintra, still in Portugal. Sintra has one of the best sweet bakes I've tried in my life. It's a thousand layer pastry, or as the French call it, mille-feuille with a creamy and sweet almond and egg yolk filling. It's called travesseiros da piriquita from the Pastelaria Piriquita. Honestly, Sintra is a small city with an enormous cultural baggage and amazing castles, but I've seen it two times and my parents four so we're admittedly only going for the food--which is freaking awesome!

You must know I didn't always use to but as I grew up I've become quite the organized person and that includes when I travel. Packing is a thought through process and my usual for this trip would be to make myself a large suitcase ready for the strong winter we're bound to endure. But given the speed we're going to be going through each country and the fact many trains can't really take the 32 inches suitcases, my family, who's going with me, and I decided that we should go with camping backpacks. 70L is all I get, which I've tested it's plenty, but hell I'm struggling with organizing it.

I got the backpack below in a Brazilian website and it's pretty sturdy. But I'm still looking for the best "Marie Kondo" methods to organize and keep this backpack neat for thirty-two days.

The return from Sintra to Lisbon takes us basically straight to Paris as we're only going there to take the plane. Weighting on the plane versus train felt better for us because we're skipping Spain this time. I never been to Paris and when we laid down the options I said I preferred France better. Although we're not leaving Paris, it's number two on the countries I'm looking forward the most--we'll get to number one soon.

From Paris we head to Dusseldorf in Germany, also by plane. I know by now you must be thinking: why is she taking a backpack if there's only planes involved. We're not taking any cars (except to drive to Sintra/Seia) and no transfers. All the transportation we're doing is by train, metro or walk. So the backpack seemed more fitting.

Dusseldorf we head to Berlim by train, stopping at a few Christmas Fairs that are popular there this time of the year. By now, in our planning, is December 18th. We wanted to spend Christmas in Germany as it's a country none of us had been before and we heard a lot about the fairs happening there. We do a quick stop out of Germany to visit Prague in the Czech Republic. None of use never been there either and we keep hearing how amazing the city is and that we'll want to be there more days. On the 23rd we head to Munique though, for Christmas.

Following stop is, at last but not least, my most expected country to visit: Italy. There's something about the food, the people that is all too familiar to me. I have all my roots in Portugal but I always found myself more connected to Italy. Our flight is to Venice first, then Florence, Colle, Pisa, Rome, then Vatican. The Vatican I was unsure about counting it as a country? I hear all different opinions about it being a city or a country, part of Italy or not. I separated it, country and city wise. What is your opinion?

It's the final destination as after it we head back to Paris and follow to Lisbon for a night so we can go back to Brasília. We've got a lot in hand to get planning--though most of it is done. So if you have any suggestions of places to sight or eat, I'll be happy to hear them out.

Next post, I'll talk more about the sightings we'll be doing in each city, stay tune!

—

Em 88 dias, estou indo fazer uma viagem à Europa como nunca fiz antes.

Anos atrás, tive a oportunidade de visitar Portugal duas vezes diferentes com minha família. Nasci no Brasil, mas meu avô é português, então sempre estivemos conectados com nossas raízes. Planejamos voltar para lá para que eu possa obter minha cidadania em Portugal (que todos os filhos e netos de nascidos portugueses têm o direito de ter, mesmo que tenham nascido no exterior). Mas decidimos fazer uma viagem por seis países diferentes–de trem, carro e avião.

Partimos de Brasília, Brasil, no dia 5 de dezembro e voltamos no dia 8 de janeiro. Começamos com doze horas de vôo para Lisboa, onde ficaremos até o dia 9, quando partirmos para a cidade de Seia, onde meu avô nasceu, para que possamos finalizar as coisas divertidas de papelada. A próxima é Sintra, ainda em Portugal. Sintra tem um dos melhores doces que eu já experimentei na minha vida. É uma massa folheada, ou, como os franceses chamam, mille-feuille com recheio cremoso e doce de amêndoa e gema de ovo. Chama-se travesseiros da piriquita da Pastelaria Piriquita. Honestamente, Sintra é uma cidade pequena, com uma enorme bagagem cultural e castelos incríveis, mas eu já fui duas vezes e meus pais quatro, por isso vamos admitir que só vamos pra comer mesmo agora–o que é incrível!

Eu tenho que contar que eu nem sempre fui assim, mas quando cresci me tornei uma pessoa bem organizada e isso inclui quando viajo. Fazer mala é um processo de longo e reflexivo e para esta viagem o meu normal seria fazer uma mala grande e pronta para o inverno rigoroso que vamos passar. Mas, dada a velocidade que percorreremos em cada país e o fato de muitos trens não poderem levar as malas de 80 cm, minha família, que vai comigo, e eu decidimos que deveríamos ir com mochilas de acampamento. 70L é tudo que terei, o que testei e é bastante, mas caramba estou lutando para organizar na mochila.

Eu comprei a mochila abaixo no mercado livre e é bem resistente. Mas ainda estou procurando os melhores métodos “Marie Kondo” para organizar e manter essa mochila por trinta e dois dias.

O retorno de Sintra a Lisboa nos leva basicamente direto a Paris, pois só vamos a Lisboa para pegar o avião. Pesando entre o avião e o trem foi melhor para nós, porque desta vez estamos pulando a Espanha. Nunca estive em Paris e, quando definimos as opções, disse que preferia a França. Apesar de que não iremos sair de Paris, é o número dois nos países que mais quero conhecer (chegaremos ao número um em breve).

De Paris, seguimos para Dusseldorf na Alemanha, também de avião. Eu sei que agora você deve estar pensando: por que ela está pegando uma mochila se há apenas aviões envolvidos? Não estamos alugando carros (exceto para dirigir para Sintra/Seia) e sem transfers. Todo o transporte que fazemos é de trem, metrô ou a pé. Então a mochila parecia mais adequada, pelas pesquisas que fizemos online sobre viagens a Europa.

Em Dusseldorf, seguimos de trem para Berlim, parando em algumas feiras de Natal que são populares por lá nesta época do ano. Até agora, no nosso planejamento, já é dia 18 de dezembro. Queríamos passar o Natal na Alemanha, pois é um país que nenhum de nós havia ido antes e ouvimos muito sobre as feiras que acontecem por lá. Fazemos uma rápida parada fora na Alemanha para visitar Praga na República Tcheca. Também não conhecemos e todos amigos que já foram ficaram repetindo o quão incrível é a cidade e que vamos querer ficar lá mais dias. No dia 23, seguimos para Munique, para o Natal.

A parada seguinte é, finalmente, mas não menos importante, o meu país mais esperado para visitar: a Itália. Há algo sobre a comida, as pessoas que são familiares demais para mim. Tenho todas as minhas raízes em Portugal, mas sempre me vi mais conectada à Itália. Nosso vôo é para Veneza primeiro, depois de trem para Florença, Colle, Pisa, Roma e depois o Vaticano. O Vaticano eu não tinha certeza de contá-lo como um país? Eu ouço muitas opiniões diferentes sobre ser uma cidade ou um país, parte da Itália ou não. Separei, país e cidade. Qual é sua opinião?

É o destino final, pois depois voltamos para Paris e seguimos para Lisboa por uma noite para podermos voltar para Brasília. Temos muito em mãos para planejar - embora a maior parte esteja pronta. Portanto, se você tiver alguma sugestão de lugares para ver ou comer, ficarei feliz em ouvi-los.

No próximo post, falarei mais sobre os lugares que vamos visitar em cada cidade, fique de olho!

[artificialqueens]

What You’re Looking For (MizChange)- Pisa

(AN): I really loved the idea of picturing Monet and Cracker together, so I decided to try a love story between them.

(Summary): Monet is an outgoing girl who wins over a shy, anxious Brianna Cracker with her charm

All of her life, Monet was considered charming. There was no one that she couldn’t win over with a smile and a wink. Teachers loved her, old people adored her, there wasn’t a person in the world she considered an enemy.

She didn’t have a single care in the world as she walked down the street and smiled at everyone she saw. What did she have to be sad about? Fall was in the air, and with fall came leaves all around her and pumpkin flavored anything. She had on a gold top with black jeans and black combat boots, topped with her favorite jean jacket. She had a matching gold headwrap to pull back loose strands from her messy bun. She knew she looked good, which added to her pure joy.

She went the long route to the bookstore, because she loved to walk through the park. A lot of grandparents sat outside on the benches to read or feed the birds. There was something comforting about them to Monet. They were so wise, they knew what was really important, living in the moment, experiencing nature. There was this one old woman that caught Monet’s eye. She had on a white frilly dress that looked like she owned it for decades, and a light blue cardigan draped over her shoulders. She was reading her book but looked up when she felt Monet’s eyes on her. They both smiled at each other and Monet nodded as she passed the woman. She looked so sweet. Monet felt a connection with her, and with anyone she made friendly eye contact with. It made her feel welcoming and warm. She loved it.

Monet was on a mission, to find a book she’d be interested in reading. She read books all of the time when she was a kid and loved them. Monet wanted to get to that magic of loving books again, no matter what it took.  

Monet made her way into town, past a good smelling pizza place, and into the local bookstore. She abruptly felt like a deer in headlights as soon as she stepped through the door. Monet had passed it a hundred times, but never realised how big the store was on the inside. It was stacked from ceiling to floor with an endless amount of books. Monet felt overwhelmed, she wanted to retreat next door and order the biggest pizza they had, but she knew her goal was too important. She needed to feel young again.

She knew she looked stupid, gaping at the sheer amount of books that were in the store. It was so old fashioned, unlike the shiny, new bookstores like Barnes and Noble. The shelves were made out of a reddish wood hand carved with intricate designs. There were ladders to help you reach the top shelves. It was so aesthetically pleasing.

“Oh, hello dear!” Monet heard from behind her. She spun around to find an old women, much like the one she passed in the park, with a huge stack of books in her hand. “We don’t get a lot of pretty young things like you here, what can I help you with?”

“Hi! I was just looking for a light read. I’m just getting back into reading so I don’t want anything too difficult to get through”

“Well i’m glad you decided to start reading again dear. It’s never too late to find magic from a book again.” The women put the books down on the checkout counter. “Trust me, I would know”

Monet smiled “I was actually missing that good feeling from reading I got when I was a child. I used to be transported to different worlds, not a care at all.”

The women looked at her curiously “I think you should try the second floor” she smiled “There you’ll find what you’re looking for”

It’s almost like she’s speaking in riddles Monet thought as she nodded and headed towards the stairs. The stairs matched the bookshelves, which Monet found very impressive. When she got to the top, she found that it was just as marvelous as the first floor, except a little cosier. The lights were dim and there were bean bag chairs everywhere. It was completely empty from what Monet could see. She didn’t know where to start!

I should go for a romance novel. God knows I need romance in my life from SOMETHING Monet found the romance section near the back, very happy that they were on the top shelf so she could use the ladder. She backed up so she could try and see the titles from the top shelf, when she suddenly felt herself trip and fall backwards right on to her butt.

“Oh My Gosh!!” Monet turned her head to the side to see a blonde girl sitting in a bean bag chair. She got up with a bounce from her perfectly styled, curly hair. “I’m so sorry”

Monet was confused until she looked down at her feet to see the small stack of books that she had tripped on, which she figured belonged to the blonde girl.

“Here, let me help you out” She reached out her hand and Monet took it. She pulled her up until Monet was standing again, face to face with the blonde girl.

“Thanks” Monet said while looking down at the girls’ crystal blue eyes. Up close, her face was even more stunning. She had small features which contrasted with her big, blonde hair.

“I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention, no one’s usually up here” The girl still looked worried. The two were still as close as when they started, which should make Monet uncomfortable, but why didn’t it?

“It’s totally fine” Monet looked down at the books “Are these yours?”

“Yeah, I usually read here every day during the summer”

“You’re here every day?”

“Yeah!” Her cheeks got a little red “It’s a lot more fun than it seems”

“I believe it! I miss reading… “

“Is that why you’re here?”

“Yeah, I get a little bored this time of year”

Oh shoot I don’t even know her name

She stuck out her hand “I’m Monet” She gave a gentle smile that she did so well. She prided herself on making people feel comfortable.

“I’m Brianna” Brianna shook her hand and then tucked her hair behind her ear shyly. Monet found it so cute how nervous she seemed to be talking to her.

“Nice to meet you Bri. So, what kind of books do you have here?”

Brianna immediately got this surprised but excited look on her face. “Oh! Well.. uh… I’m in the middle of this one” She picked up the book she dropped when she saw Monet had fell. “Well, I wanted to read old fairy tales, to see if it was as good as I remember them. I was obsessed with them all throughout elementary school”

“And…”

“They’re even better the second time! I missed so many good metaphors and… “

Brianna paused as she looked like she was trying to find her words. Why is she so nervous? I’ve never made anyone this nervous before…

“So.. uh.. What were you searching for before… you know… I wiped you out?”

Monet chuckled. Good she’s starting to make jokes with me “I was just looking at the Romance section.”

Brianna laughed “Well you fell over the right girls books, I’ve probably read every Romance book this store has to offer, cover to cover”

“Well, which one’s would you recommend?”

Brianna described her favorite ones to Monet in full detail. This Bitch really knows her stuff. Monet couldn’t help but let her mind go on autopilot after a while, watching the girls pale pink lips move and her hair bounce when she did a hair flip over her shoulder. She got so much more relaxed when she was talking about things she was passionate about.

“Thank God I ran into you. I haven’t so much as picked up a book in years” Monet looked around the room. “I can see why you like it here, this place is cozy”

“It reminds me of a castle’s library” Brianna looked around as well

“Yes! You’re so right!”

Brianna looked up at Monet with a warm smile. Ugh!!! She’s so cute I just want to hug her….

“Have you ever been to the pizza place next door since you’re here so often? I walked by it on my way here and it smells amazing”

“I’ve actually never been! But I do agree it smells delicious!”  

“I was thinking about going there after I get my book, would you like to come?”

“I would love that Monet!”

Monet decided on the book that seemed like it was Brianna’s favorite, from the way she talked about it. Brianna packed up all of her books and went with Monet to check out. As the two approached the desk, the woman Monet had met before looked up for a second to see the girls together, and quickly looked back down. Monet noticed her trying to hide a huge grin on her face. The woman checked her out when they approached the counter.

“Leaving so soon Brianna?” The woman smiled at a caught off guard Brianna. “I usually have to drag you out of here at closing time”

Brianna got a little anxious again “Uhh- Something came up” She glanced at Monet and gave a little smile.

The woman let it go and gave Monet her receipt “Come back anytime honey!”

“I will!” Monet wasn’t lying to the woman, she absolutely loved this new found place, and was planning on going back soon.

—

[emmelfish]

Sorry folks, sadly it was a short but sweet sojourn in Viper Canyon with Cass and we’re BACK IN INTERMINABLE PLEASANTVIEW again (I realize Lothario Towers was also something of a... palate cleanser? No wait what’s the opposite of that?). But there’s light at the end of the tunnel! Anyways, there’s been plenty happening at Goth Mansion to keep us entertained. 

Alex rolled the LTW to reach the top of the Natural Science career (because of course he’s Knowledge, when doesn’t that ever happen). I could not be happier with this given Goths like Science AND he’s a Nature sim, it’s perfect. So I stuck him in the teen Science career track to start skillin’ and get a scholarship and by gar he did well, the lad.

Goneril Capp still turns up in Pleasantview every two minutes; maybe I should have her move here once she yells DIVORCIO at Albany. 

Incredibly Pregnant and Extremely Randy Dina is now the norm, and she’s jumping Mort’s bones around once an hour. If I didn’t know better I’d think she was trying to kill him, as per traditional early noughties depictions of dear Diggy.

And last but not least, Asimov has fallen in love with townie Adult Ivy Copur.

Ivy: Here’s a free sample –

Asimov: IS IT A SAMPLE OF YOU??????

Ivy: – for you to mess around with.

Asimov: Can I mess around with YOU??????

Ivy: Those are just... noises.

You uh, need recharging Asimov? You’re catching on a tad late.

Massive surprise, Serdar continues to be ludicrously adorable. He’s a tinkerer like big sis Cass! He fits in so well with this family. Cass’s room has become the least Gothy place in the house with all the bright colors and kid toys but it’s good for their sensory development (I know... stuff?) so we’ll let them have it.

I think we must have invited Gon in at some stage – I’m guessing I thought she and Dina would get along, both being Fortune sims. Anyway I’ve forgotten to sell the damn DJ booth and now everyone who turns up on the lot uses it all night and makes terrible sound.

Whatcha spinning there Gon? Some Sleater Kinney? A little Le Tigre? Some Tegan and Sara maybe? I could go on. I won’t, but I could.

She may have no creativity points but she’s attracted at least one fan – this loyal doggo here.

Doggo: I like it. The excessive use of bass makes my ears twitch. It’s a good thing.

Ghost: Well I think it’s a crappy thing!

Watch out Gon! His mustache inexplicably has a dark shadow beneath it which makes the whole visage infinitely creepier.

Urgh, too late. Well, if anything’s going to put you off working the decks in the Goth garden, it’s that. Let’s send her inside where it’s safer.

Dina: Adoption’s great! I mean they say you pick them yourselves, and you don’t really... one randomly shows up on your doorstep the next day and it’s a total surprise what they’ll look like and their gender and stuff... you might end up with a Face 18... but hey, having kids is a gamble anyway.

Goneril: Would you consider taking a couple of mine? I have too many, and they tend to disappoint me.

They were getting along swimmingly until the subject of make-up came up. Well, just because you’re both Fortune sims doesn’t mean you’ll be BFFs.

Hey I’ve just noticed something about that painting. The people in it look familiar. A strong-willed bun-headed lady and a ginger bearded dude standing around uselessly?

Mary-Sue: And why do I drink this much?

Daniel: Because I’m such a disappointment.

Mary-Sue: Exactly.

Diggy finally snags an invite to Peerless Park and it’s only now I’ve realized that if I skim across Nature dude’s dialogue too quick, it sounds like it’s a park for nudists. Which is fine, I could totally see Dina wandering nekkid through a park with wanton abandon, boobies blowing in the wind.

Oh god. Have I forgotten about houseguests again? How long have these two been here?

Kristen: Your sister’s hot.

Vidcund: Why do you think it’s a good idea to broach that topic of conversation with me?

Now we play the waiting game, as Dina’s due to pop a Goth Surprise any minute.

Dina: Yeah yeah, I’m happy we’re best friends and everything, but I’m getting pretty uncomfortable. Can somebody get this baby out of me?

Look if you’re irritable just send Serdar to his toybox, that keeps him entertained for hours...

... just don’t let him disappear into it.

What the... see? This is the work of Incredibly Pregnant and Extremely Randy Dina, but also she’s clearly very comfortable in her nakedness.

Man that happened fast! We’ve barely had time to enjoy Serdar as a toddler! I hope he grows up well and doesn’t have a broken face template or something.

Family Servos – built for patiently babysitting.

Alexander: Why is homework so hard? I’m a Goth, I’m supposed to just be able to do this shit. I know, I’ll distract myself by distracting the baby.

Alexander: Hey, you wanna –

Serdar: You’re not playing with me for the right reasons!

Dina: I can take it from here Alex, I have his favorite bedtime story all set up. Gnomes, When in Rome! In this one Gnome Chomsky visits the Leaning Tower of Pisa. 

Dina: But hark, said Gnome Chomsky, a castle such as this should have such solid foundations –

Serdar: Maybe a bear pushed it over.

Alexander: HEY IS IT BATHTIME BUDDY?

Mortimer: Alex, I don’t even need to look at him to know his hygiene bar is full.

Alexander: Yeah but bathtime is FUN, right tiny dude?

Serdar: You’ve done this 18 times today.

Oh oh! Here we go! We’ve caught Dina looking ever so elegant giving birth.

ISSA GIRL! Say hello to Ms. Matilda Caliente-Goth, who was swiftly changed into Goth-appropriate babywear. Also, fabulous eyebrows.

[jimlingss]

She’s Testosterone 3 [Finale] 1/2

Read the Original: She’s Testosterone Read the Sequel: She’s Testosterone 2 Read the Final Installment: She’s Testosterone 3 Part 1|Part 2

Words: 14.9k Genre: 49% Crack, 40% Fluff, 10% Smut, 1% Angst. Gender Bender!Au Summary: Drop dead gorgeous, cute and sassy - you adore your best friend. But is there more beneath the surface? Who exactly is Min Yoonji? Warnings: Swearing, blowjob (rofl) and wet dreams.

Disclaimer: Includes cross-dressing as the opposite gender. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with the subject matter. Viewer discretion is advised.

No.

When did this happen? How did it become like this?

Your best friend is under you, half naked and exposed, chest rising and lips swollen.

The love of your life is standing at the door, mouth wide open and expressionless, stunned shock like a statue, unable to register what’s happening in front of him. His blank eyes read ‘ERROR’.

You urgently peel yourself off the warm body that your own aches for. And you try to cover up your own bare skin with your hands. “Ji-Jimin!”

His eyes flicker down to Yoonji, or what should be Yoonji. There’s a long ten seconds of absolute silence, where all three people are staring at each other, at a loss of what to say.

Then, Jimin suddenly books it down the hall.

“Jimin!” You chase after him, leaving the room but it’s empty. He’s gone. “Oh my god.”

Yoongi chuckles, plopping back down onto your bed with his head hitting your warm bedsheets. With the incident of Jimin barging into the room unannounced, the member in his pants softened immediately. He wouldn’t be able to get it back up if he wanted to.

Now, he’s left staring at the ceiling and he laughs some more, not from mirth or the hilariousness of the situation but the absurdity. “What now?”

When did this happen? When did it become like this?

A few months ago, you entered this college as an innocent bystander who just wanted to conquer obstacles and make it to success. The person you met that’s now lying on your bed, still half-naked, was your roommate. Since when did you become so attracted for that friend and since when did you feel like you were being pulled in a hundred different directions?

“I don’t know.”

Where did those days go?

[Several Months Ago]

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Excuse me! Sorry…” A few girls gasp before moving away, steering clear of you. You’re sure your entire face is beet red from drawing so much attention and ruining your first impressions with these people you’ll be neighbors with but it’s also due to the fact that you’re lifting three cardboard boxes, all stacked in front of each other and tipping like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

You can’t even see properly, your full view is obstructed and your cheek is smushed against the surface of the box. Though, you manage to find the correct room, luckily being able to nudge the door open with your foot. “There we go!”

After setting down the stack and merrily humming a song you heard from the radio, you bend over to pick up one of your many cardboard boxes up. The room is empty, a bit small but manageable. There are two beds on each side against the wall, a mere two strides distance from each other. It was orientation day, the same day that you were moving in. You haven’t met your roommate yet but you were super excited to!

You’re certain that the two of you would be the bestest friends ever-

“Ahem.” Someone clears their throat in the room and you jolt, letting a surprised yelp out. When you lower the box…..you’re met with the most gorgeous person ever.

Your breath hitches as your eyes run over your roommate...your stunning roommate. There’s an air of exuding confidence, a strong aura that makes your knees weak. It’s as if she knows everyone in her wake will crumble to their knees and worship her - she’s not wrong.

Your new roommate is attractive, so much so that you’re left ogling at her pretty, long legs that’s covered in black stockings. She has a bob haircut, silk strands of black hair with bangs dusting along her forehead. Below the cocked eyebrow, long lashes and rounded cheeks is pouted lips. The person’s skin is so clear that you’re jealous. And despite the intimidating and menacing visage of aloofness, it’s innocence. Your roommate looks adorable, like a teddy bear.

You fight the urge to run over and envelop her in an embrace.

“You’re drooling.”

“Crap! Sorry! I-I mean-....” You hastily wipe your mouth with your sleeve. “I mean- hi.”

“Hi.” She darts her eyes back down to the magazine, flipping through the pages of high end brands. Her legs are crossed and she appears apathetic to your arrival.

You swallow hard as you nervously and awkwardly linger. While ignoring the frightening atmosphere, you muster your most cheerful smile. “My name is Y/N! You must be-”

“Yoonji.”

Before you arrived at the dormitory, you already made yourself promise….you were going to become good friends with your roommate. You weren’t just going to co-exist quietly and leave the other alone, at least not when the interaction was going to be so high. You were going to be millimeters away from this girl for tens of hours at a time. The last thing you wanted was to be on bad terms with someone that was going to be so close by. This wasn’t going to be a repeat of high school and your deskmate, the girl who made you feel uncomfortable day in and day out.

If you made friends with your roommate - how much fun would that be?

The two of you could braid each other’s hair, study together and talk about your innermost secrets. It would be like a sleepover every night!

Except, this isn’t how you expected it to go. “I-I...I didn’t see you there! You really startled me. When I came here earlier, the room was empty so I thought you hadn’t arrived yet but I guess I was wrong! It’s funny how easily someone can become-”

As you’re stuttering and rambling like your tongue’s caught on fire, you don’t notice the box by your foot. Yoonji doesn’t say anything, rather amused as she watches you scatter forward, tripping over it like you’re doing a slapstick skit. “WOAH-!”

The box in your arms goes flying in the sky and the top opens, spilling out condoms like it’s raining. The cardboard tumbles to the floor, bouncing once before it slides a few centimeters and stills. But it’s landed in the sea of wrappers, the box of a hundred condoms poured with it.

Your mouth has fallen with the items onto the floor. Yoonji stares at the ground. She muffles a giggle behind her hand. You’re mortified.

“I-I….I can explain!” You drop down, collecting the wrappers by the armful, trying to hide the humiliation and the intense tomato shade of your face. “It’s my parents!”

“Wait!” You backtrack, throwing the condoms back into the box again and then seizing them by handfuls. “I mean they're from my parents not for my parents. God….now I can’t get that image out of my mind but no they-...they just want me to be prepared. I swear, they’re really good people!”

“Uh-huh.”

“My mom knows how college can be and we talked about safety before I left and so-”

You’re interrupted when Yoonji gets up, takes one single step and squats down. In the sea of new condoms, she picks one up with two of her fingers, chin resting in her hand and arm propped on her knee. The pretty girl gives an even prettier smirk and she steals the condom.

“Might need it for later.” Her smirk grows and she gets up to the door. “Have fun using them all.”

“I’m not going to use them all! Wait-!” But by then, the door has shut and you’re left alone, collapsing with your butt hitting the carpet.

Great.

Not only did you fail at making a good impression, now she probably thinks you’re an idiot.

You hold your face in your hands, attempting to stop your bottom lip from trembling, cursing in your head to not cry. Little did you know, that one day these condoms would all be used by Yoonji….with you.

[Present Day]

You can still remember what happened after you met your roommate.

You lost your way around and ended up running into her. It was a bit awkward, following her around campus like a puppy but she didn’t even say anything to you, much less acknowledge your existence. You tried to make amends and fix damaged first impressions by giving her cookies you had baked but she told you to “leave me the fuck alone, hoe.”

In the few days that passed after that, you were having a hard time. Being far away from family and homesick, Yoonji put a snack on your bedside table while you were sleeping. And when you woke up, she asked if you were okay. That was when you knew...behind the hard exterior, it was an endless land of softness. You knew then and a thousand times after that…

The two of you would become the greatest friends.

“Who would want to become friends with a loser like you?” She grumbled, trying to peel your arms that were wrapped around her own limb.

“Aww…” You pouted at her, sniffling and resting your cheek on her taller shoulder. “Don’t be like that, Yoonji. I know you love me.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah right.”

Now things have changed. Very much so. As you gaze upon the person by your side who is both your closest friend and the person you yearn for the most, you aren’t sure what you feel.

It’s still all so sudden. The hollows of Yoonji are still there; the intimidating air, the rounded cheeks and the long lashes, the innocence and pouted lips, the urge to cling and latch on haven’t dissipated either.

But it’s also Yoongi. Someone with calloused fingers and strong hands, a smirk like none other, raspy timbre and deep voice as if he were intoxicated and your desire...the attraction is undying. It seeps into your skin, crying out as if you were an animal in heat or some horny teenager.

Between the solid friendship and the blossoming love affair, you’re left in the middle, utterly confused.

“Do you think this will really work?”

“I don’t know.” He answers in sincerity as the two of you peek into the coffee shop, finding Jimin already seated at a table. Yoongi tugs on his skirt and tucks the strands of his wig behind his ear. “Let’s just give it our best shot.”

The tiny bell chimes as the door is pushed open.

“Hi, Jimin!” You wave at him with a bright beam.

Jimin darts his head over and his eyes broaden at the sight of Yoonji or at least what should be her. He even stands up, grinning wider as he scampers over, pulling out the chair for your roommate. “Lovely day, isn’t it, Jimin?”

“Yes, it is.” He plops back down and you take a seat next to your friend. Jimin never ceases his fond smile or stops staring at Yoonji, the braid in her hair to her glossy lips. Jimin was simply happy to be called out by her. Yet, there’s a smidgen of hesitance within his expression.

“I heard you met my brother.” Yoongi speaks in a sweeter voice, sparing a smile before she makes an order for an espresso and a sweetened cappuccino for you.

He blinks twice, “your brother?”

There’s no way he’ll buy into this. It’s a terrible lie.

“Yup.” Your roommate pops the ‘p’, leaning back in the seat in exhaustion. “We’re fraternal twins.”

Your eyes shut tight, fists in your lap. There’s no way he’ll believe this. Jimin’s going to find out. And once he does, everything will become exposed. Not only will Yoongi be punished and potentially thrown out, you’ll lose the person you care about the most. It’s a terrible lie.

Without warning, you feel warmth. There’s soft skin touching and easing your clenched fists. Yoongi’s snuck his own hand underneath the table and into your lap, relaxing your anxiousness, lacing your fingers through his. Your breath hitches in your throat and then you melt, loosening the tension in your shoulders.

Sneaking a peek at him, he still remains with a calm exterior, pretty features that you admire since the first day. The information sinks into Jimin’s skin and you redirect your irises to him, observing if he’ll buy into it. And he does.

“Wow! That’s amazing!” His eyes twinkle and his grin swells. “I didn’t know you had a brother, much less a twin, Yoonji!”

Of course - anything that Yoonji would say, Jimin would automatically hang onto every single dripping syllable. The recognition of this fact dawns sorrow inside your chest.

Yoongi smirks and shrugs nonchalantly. “He was just visiting today. Goes to another school.”

“So that must mean…” For the first time since the conversation started, Jimin looks directly at you. You automatically sit taller with a smile, gleaming back at him. His next words sends an arrow straight through your heart - one that’s not from cupid’s bow. “You’re in a relationship with Yoonji’s brother, Y/N?!”

“I’m-”

Yoongi harshly tugs on your hand and you yelp, becoming silenced.

“Wow! I didn’t know you were seeing someone. But that’s great, Y/N. I fully support it. You two looked like you were close!” Jimin gives you a huge thumbs up, nodding along and giving you the cutest smile you’ve ever seen. Your heart would usually race with the moon crescent eyes and the drawn lips but this time it hurts.

You pout and lower your head. Yoongi beside you sighs helplessly, watching you like you’re a disappointed puppy.

Jimin leans closer to Yoonji, staring right up at her. “I would love to hear more about your family!”

“I’m busy-”

“How about Saturday?” His enormous orbs twinkle and he doesn’t realize that he’s cut off the other. “I can take you out and we could grab a bite to eat!”

You turn your head up at your friend, wholly envious with the offer. If you were in those shoes, you’d jump over the table, grab Jimin’s hands and say ‘yes’ a million times over until your voice would give out. You’d jump and dance and celebrate.

Unfortunately, Yoongi misinterprets your glassy eyes and envy as coaxing to accept the offer since the boy was so understanding and believed the lie too easily. Yoongi practically smashes his head against the table as he exhales lethargically. “Fineee…”

Jimin almost breaks his face with his humongous smile.

You scream inside your head. It’s gone. It’s destroyed and there’s zero chances of recovering….

Your chances with the love of your life is ruined!

//

You’ve never been a secretive person. Hence, holding onto Yoongi’s most classified information on who he truly is was already quite a feat for you. Unfortunately, your emotions were still written all over your face, an open book for others to see your innermost dilemmas and struggles.

Today isn’t a different day from the usual.

“You...” When you lift your head up from your arms folded on top of the table, you find Kim Taehyung plopping down across, onto the other bench. “What’s wrong with you?”

Taehyung is the resident genius….in the land of the idiots, so really, he might be of average intelligence. There’s a saying out there on big fishes in a small pond or a small fishes in a big pond - Taehyung’s a normal sized fish in a fishtank of tadpoles.

But besides questioning his brilliant reputation, his lensless glasses that you have a thousand inquiries about and the brown mop of hair on his head, he looks quite concerned.

“Jimin…” You sniff out, deciding to confide in him. “He’s going on a date with Yoonji!”

“What?!” The boy slams his fist against the table, startling you. “Dammit! That Jimin making moves when I’m not around and stuck in the laboratory.”

Yoonji is the heartthrob of the institution. Despite the sharp tongue, bitchy expressions and disinterested nature, your roommate is someone that everyone swoons for. People either adore her, respect her or what to be her. There’s no in between. In this aspect, things haven’t really changed.

“I have to do something.” Taehyung mutters, ripping off his thick black frames. Then, he slides the glassless spectacles back onto his face. “I can’t just sit here waiting for Jimin to take her away. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I wasn’t on the other side of the wedding aisle but he was.”

You whimper, slowly nodding. There’s a vision that flashes beneath your eyelids; one where you’re draped in the most beautiful white gown, a wedding dress that’s shimmers in chandelier lights. A smile slips onto your lips when you lift your head and you find Jimin. He’s standing at the alter in a crisp suit, his hair cutely ruffled in chocolate shaded locks, gazing onto you in absolute fondness with his moon crescent smile. This is it. Your biggest dream has come true. But then-

The person who was walking you down the aisle lets go, only to be joined on the other side of the alter. You’re standing stunned, mouth dropping as the music quiets down. And Jimin wasn’t staring at you - he was staring at Yoongi! Your best friend betrays you once more, a piercing stab to your backside as he takes Jimin’s hand and the two join in matrimony.

“NO!”

Your daydream shatters with your wailing cry. A few people look over at you but you don’t notice when your hands are covering your face. You can’t let Yoongi take Jimin. Even if one day Jimin finds the truth, you’ll have no doubts that Yoongi would be able to charm the socks off of him, as a male or female or anything in between. Yoongi simply has that power of attraction, an unbeatable one that snakes around its victims. You can’t let that happen! THIS IS WAR!

“A-are you okay?” Taehyung asks for the second time, surprised at your sudden outburst.

Friendships aside. The rule of sisters before misters, bros before hoes have been discarded. You have to look out for yourself first and foremost. And if you want something, you won’t just wait until it comes to you. You have to go out and get it!

“Let’s do it.” You assert with the most confidence you’ve ever shown. “You’re right. We can’t let this opportunity slip by. One date will lead to three more and then ten and then twenty. Do you really want to watch them get together?! I don’t.”

“You’re very passionate about this, Y/N.” Taehyung muses with a pout, then he smirks and juts out his hand. You clasp his palm immediately, the two of you shaking it firmly without darting your eyes elsewhere. “Deal. Let’s do this together.”

Thus, the anti-ship of Jimin and Yoonji alliance is established.

//

“Are you sure this will work?” You’re cowering down in some bushes and shrubs, ignoring the people who shoot odd looks as they’re passing by. There’s an earbud in your left ear, sharing the other with him as the binoculars push against your eye sockets.

“Hey mom!” A kid shouts, pointing to you and Taehyung. “What are those people-?”

“Shush.” The mother pulls her along. “Don’t look at them.”

On any normal day, you’d feel embarrassed but the stakes are too high to feel shame.

Taehyung sports a telescope and he hums at the back of his throat. “Who do you think I am? Of course it’ll work. It wasn’t hard putting a bug and tracker on Jimin either. The poor thing was so jittery this morning.”

You frown, wondering what it would be like if Jimin was nervous for you. “What are they doing?” The lenses focuses and your finger presses against the side of the binocular, snapping a shot into the memory card.

Maybe Taehyung really was a genius after all. When you both discussed plans, he leant out his technology and now you were dressed from head to toe in it. Aside from the refined binoculars, the gps trackers, the bug and the telescope, he had a fanny pack on with other mysterious tools.

“They’re moving!” Taehyung grabs onto your wrist, forcing you to stand and follow.

Urgently, the pair of you slide black sunglasses onto your face, despite it being a cloudy day. You and Taehyung look like you’re wearing matching couple outfits, identical black trench coats, jeans and fedoras; adding to the investigative feel and overall aesthetic. It’s supposed to be a disguise, make you blend into the crowds walking on the paved sidewalks but you question if it’s merely adding more suspicion.

You brush away any doubts, closing in on Jimin and Yoongi dressed as Yoonji. They enter a cute corner store, grabbing lunch together and you inhale a sharp breath, entering after three minutes. Taehyung picks a seat in a booth, getting a good view of the couple while still hidden away in the corner.

“What do you like to eat, Yoonji? I’ll treat you to anything you want!”

“Whatever is fine.” Your roommate is slumped downwards, lazily resting his chin in his hand, arm propped up on the table. It’s a terribly unladylike posture and you cringe at how he’s manspreading again when he’s wearing a skirt.

“Okay.” Jimin still remains in a chipper mood, lolling his head to one side as he studies the menu. “How about a sandwich with a side of fries and I’ll get a burger with coleslaw. If anything we can share?”

Yoongi yawns, saliva dripping from his mouth. He doesn’t even wipe it away. “Fine.”

Jimin’s grin widens at the validation regardless of the indifferent tone. He calls upon the waitress and makes the order. “Damn. Yoonji’s so hot.” Taehyung mutters and you solemnly agree. Even seated on the chair with the light basking in through the windows, your best friend looks like a painting.

Strands of black hair as dark as night reminiscent to that of Snow White, pink lips puckered into a small pout that’s glossed over with your lipstick stain product, a chickadee yellow dress stolen from your closet and brown leather jacket to pair with the ankle boots and knee-length stockings. Half of the things Yoongi’s wearing were stolen from you but you wouldn’t look half as good as he does. It somehow hurts your pride as a woman, making you seethe in your seat.

“You’re mumbling again.” Taehyung smiles at you, nudging your foot under the table.

“Oh.” You blink hard, catching yourself. “Sorry.”

“Hi, what would you like to order?” A waiter saunters up and when Taehyung looks at you, you only shrug, eyes pinned onto Jimin.

“We’ll both take the house special with soup.” Taehyung replies charmingly and the waiter scribbles it down before answering that it’s a good choice and should only take five minutes.

“I’m glad we’re in this together.” You tell him, realizing you’ve had to shoulder the burden of Yoongi’s secret alone. But at the very least, you had Taehyung with you now. Even if he isn’t that helpful, the two of you have similar goals in mind and work well together.

“Same here. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even know that Jimin was doing this. So, thanks Y/N.” He smiles at you and you feel a warm heat immersing your cheeks as you nod at him.

“By the way...those glasses of yours. Since when have you been wearing them?”

“Since I was born.” He replies shortly, instantly freezing up and sitting straight at your query regarding his spectacles.

“Why don’t they have anything-”

“I think our food’s coming out!” He changes the topic but the waitress turns the corner instead of waltzing to your table. He laughs awkwardly, swallowing hard and looking at you again. You scoff lightly, wondering why he was so strange.

The soup does eventually come out and for a good second, you forget that you’re watching Yoongi with Jimin. You get lost creating secret codes and signals with Taehyung, an intricate set of high fives and handshakes as your new greeting, giggling at his silly antics and how clumsy and silly he can be despite his title of brilliance. The food warms up your tummy and makes you even more giddy.

“Oh my god.” Your eyes enlarge and you point past him.

Taehyung turns around and gasps. “Where did they go?!”

Luckily, he had thought first and immediately pulled out a gadget to read their location. He ended up paying the bill in spite of your insistence that you could pay your own part but there wasn’t much time to argue when you were rushing out.

“The-” You suck in a huge breath of air, hyperventilating from the run. Taehyung’s in an identical condition, hands on his knees, hunched over to breathe. He takes off his glasses, wiping the sides before sliding them back on. “The movie tickets are on me.”

The audacity! The two of them decided to go see a movie, curl up together in close seats and in a shadowy theater. It’s a romcom movie no less, full of cringey and cheesy lines that can make anyone feel weak in their knees. You’re sure Jimin had picked it since Yoongi wouldn’t care for such a thing.

The sunglasses are still on your face and you manage to spot the couple smack dab in the middle of the rows, sharing a bucket of popcorn - though it seemed Yoongi was stuffing his face more violently, not caring about the butter smearing all over his coral cheeks.

You nearly trip over the stairs. “I can’t see.”

After your sharp whisper, barely heard over the commercials playing on the screen, Taehyung takes your hand into his. His palm and fingers are much larger than yours, engulfing it in warmth as opposed to the matching fit of Yoongi’s hand. While Taehyung has a bigger size and his skin feels softer, Yoongi’s is more secure and a rougher texture, calloused fingertips that you distinctly remember.

You don’t get to dwell as Taehyung leads you up to sit at the back of the rows. “Can you hear them?” He gently presses the earbud into your ear and as you tune in, concentrating with all your might, you can only hear the booming of the infomercials.

“I can’t.”

He sighs and then shrugs. “Oh well.”

As the both of you try your best to watch Jimin and Yoonji, tilting your heads and describing the different things you see based on your angles, you soon settle in when the movie begins.

It’s not bad. A tale about two people from different backgrounds, sharing a rendezvous from a chance encounter and their story of falling in love, going through trials and errors. The movie isn’t spectacular or completely fresh since it’s things you’ve seen before but it’s not terrible enough to make you lose attention or focus or make you bored. “Are you okay?”

Taehyung abruptly leaning in makes you turn to him. He peels off his trench coat and then drapes you in it. A whole new layer is added and you didn’t realize that you were shivering from the intense air conditioner.

“Thanks.” You open it up more, also leaning closer. “We can share.”

He nods and huddles with you, draping the fabric like a blanket. The two of you focusing back on the movie as the main character screams out for her lover. “Don’t leave me! Please! I love you! Come back!”

It ends before you become aware of it.

“Not bad.” He muses. “I’ve seen worse.”

“Yeah, I actually really liked the part where she was the one who proposed to him on the balcony. It was just so romantic- whoa!”

You’re pulled off to the side behind a plant. Taehyung points to the entrance of the theater where Jimin and Yoonji are standing. “Look!”

You gasp. No. It can’t be. It can’t!

It almost looks as if Jimin….as if Jimin will…...like he’s going to….kiss Yoonji?!

All the senses in your body are tingling and not because you’re pulled against Taehyung but because there’s a thousand urges that scream out for you to lunge forward, interrupt and intercept the situation before the deal is sealed. But your feet are grounded and your limbs turn into stone. Taehyung shares a similar state as you. The pair of you are paralyzed.

“I really enjoyed today.” Jimin smiles so splendidly it shines like the sun, challenging the moon that hangs above the darkened sky. “I would love to do it again sometime, Yoonji!”

“Uh-huh.”

Right as Jimin’s eyes flicker to the other’s lips and he leans in…

You yelp softly. Taehyung shuts his eyes.

Yoongi slaps his hand over Jimin’s mouth, cupping his lips and shielding them away.

“Maybe some other time, Jimin.” He says in his sickeningly sweet and high pitched voice, tilting his head to the side. Jimin doesn’t even look hurt from the rejection, nodding enthusiastically at the honey dripping syllables.

“Okay!”

You feel like you can finally breathe again.

//

When the door opens, you put on your best smile, pretending that you were in the room all evening and night, catching up on some light reading. “Hey there, sunshine!”

You giggle as Yoongi slams the door with the back of his foot. He looks like the Yoonji you know, all dolled up and pretty but in one minute, it’s turned into Yoongi. He throws off his boots, crashes on the bed and peels off his stockings, ripping off the wig. “Hey.”

“Bad day?”

Sure. Your best friend turned into your love rival. But at the end of the day, Yoonji….and Yoongi would forever remain your friend and roommate. In any shape or form, anything else doesn’t matter. You still deeply care for this person, this individual that you cherish.

“Yeah.”

The magazine in your hands is closed, chucked onto the nightstand table in between your beds and you flip onto your stomach, watching him with your head on your folded arms. “How was your date with Jimin? Was it good? Perfect? Wonderful?”

You wanted to know what Yoongi truly thought about the date. It was one thing to follow them and listen in on their conversations but the mind could be intricate. You could never tell what your roommate was thinking about anyways. It did make you a bit uneasy to think about Yoongi falling for Jimin….if your best friend suddenly saw what you did; how cute and reliable and adorable the other boy was. But the uneasiness doesn’t stem from Jimin’s single status being taken away. The feeling has no relation to Jimin as a matter of fact...you can’t pinpoint why….

“Pft.” He stretches his arms before grabbing a change of clothing from the wardrobe. “Did you want to join us?”

“I-” You clear your throat, not wanting to stutter and make it suspicious. If it was anyone who could read you, Yoongi could and one measly hint would unravel it all. “I just want to know if he bought the lie of course. No other reasons.”

You still feel bad for lying to Jimin. Deceiving such an innocent...sweet...naive boy. It felt like you were committing the most heinous sin of all. “The idiot believed it alright.”

Your body rolls to face the wall when he begins stripping out of the bright dress. Your eyes flutter closed and a heat emerges when you hear the fabric drop down in a smooth motion. The thought of his nakedness being sheer millimeters away made you nervous. Ever since you kissed him and Jimin barged in, you both hadn’t spoken about the incident.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder…

If you weren’t interrupted, how far would you two have gone?

“Hey. Who’s trench coat is this?”

When you look over, Yoongi’s in his pajamas, blue shorts and white shirt. Two of his fingers are pinching at the sleeve, the coat hanging off your desk chair. You gasp, having accidentally forgotten to give it back to Taehyung or hiding it away from Yoongi.

“That’s…” You decide to be honest, having a hard time keeping up with so many lies. “...Taehyung’s. I forgot to give it back to him. He gave it to me since I was a bit cold.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you hung out with him.”

“Actually, today I did.” It didn’t occur how close you had gotten to him in the past twenty four hours. Before today, the most contact you had with Taehyung was sharing lunch together with the others on the occasion he passed by and saw Yoonji, trying to chat her up.

“He’s actually quite nice.” You hum out, now off to your dreamland as your lips tumble out your ramblings. “I thought he was a weirdo before...kind of strange since you know his glasses are weird. They don’t have any lenses….Oh! And I tried asking him about it but he avoided the topic...Taehyung’s actually quite nice. I guess he’s the top student for a reason. But yeah, I spent the entire day with him.”

“Like a date?”

“Hmmm…” Now that you think about it, it was kind of like a date. You went to have lunch with him, talked to him and had a ton of fun conversing with the boy. You even went to the movies and he sent you home, hugging you before he left. “I don’t know.”

“Huh.”

You don’t notice Yoongi’s left eye twitching. When he throws the trench coat to the ground and stomps on it and you yell at him, he says it was an accident and brushes it off. You don’t realize that his steps are stomps, that the bathroom door closes harder than it should. When he finishes washing up, he flickers off the light without any warning.

“I’m not done reading.” You whine with an unseen pout. The sound of covers are heard as Yoongi curls up under his sheets.

“Too bad. I’m going to bed.”

You sigh, curling your cold toes together as you watch the lump on the mattress across from you. “Feel better, Yoongi. You did a very good job today. I’m proud of you.”

He makes a strangled and exhausted noise. You go to sleep with a smile on your face.

//

An hour later, Yoongi throws the covers off of himself, having sweated profusely under them. He glares at your profile, the peacefulness of your expression and the rise and fall of your chest, snores leaving them. The moonlight streams in from the window, making your skin glow.

His eyes flicker to the coat and he scowls like a cat annoyed to no end.

Yoongi pulls the blankets up again. He’s only sure of two things.

One: He won’t be able to catch a wink of sleep tonight. Two: You’re going to be the death of him.

//

“Isn’t the amusement park so great, Yoonji?!” Jimin jumps up and down like an excited child, the mouse ears on his newly purchased hat flops up and down. His grin is wide and radiant, cheeks gleaming pink. “I’m so glad you decided to come with me.”

“Uh-huh.” As their hands accidentally brush each other’s and Jimin attempts to slyly hold hands, Yoongi loses his mind and withdraws, coughing to clear his throat and crossing his arms, completely out of reach for the other.

Jimin smiles and puts his hand into his pockets instead. “Should we go onto a roller coaster? Oh! What about the log ride?!”

The amusement park is lovely at night. The twinkling lights sparkles and creates a mosaic of carnival red and royal blue hues. The scent of caramel kettle corn and caramel apples, corn dogs and funnel cakes fill the warm air. There are spinning and rotating rides, distant screams heard from them and all around are lovers holding hands, children running between crowds with childish laughter.

Yoongi hates it.

All he wants to do is curl up in his bed, slip between toasty covers, poke his eyes out….to stare at you across the room. But at the moment, he’s with Park Jimin. The annoying kid who never stops smiling but Yoongi has to admit, he’s tenacious. Annoyingly so, to the point where Yoongi couldn’t do anything but accept the date request after being pestered for three days in a row.

Yoongi’s also not very fond of rollercoasters and rides. The adrenaline never did much for him but makes him feel slightly queasy.

“Please keep all your hands and feet in! Your safety is our biggest concern!” A chirpy employee wearing an LED neon headband motions with all her energy. She grins and waves as the long boat jolts, beginning to take off. “Enjoy the ride everybody!”

With the blind enthusiasm and cuteness of the employee, Yoongi’s reminded of you.

He grimaces pondering what you’re doing at this moment. What if you were the one beside him instead? Would he hate it so much then?

“Are you ready? Woo! This is going to be so much fun!” Jimin lifts up his arms, the both of them are inclined backwards as the boat rides up the slope. Some water sloshes inside and Yoongi winces at the coldness. No one in the amusement park is as miserable as he is. Yoongi’s positive, especially when the numerous people behind him are shouting for joy and excitement.

His stomach lurches when there’s a tiny fall and Jimin screams even louder with the people behind. The boat rushes straight forward and the wind slaps him across his face, making him blink several times. There are more dips here and there, letting the butterflies flutter in his abdomen. Yoongi’s thanking the heavens that he didn’t decide to eat a heavy lunch earlier.

The boat slows down considerably as it turns a few rounded corners. Then, it makes a full stop in front of the first smaller drop. Yoongi gulps, apprehensive as he looks down at the fifty feet descent. He wonders why the hell Jimin and him are seated at the very front. “Woo! This is amazing!” Jimin shouts and Yoongi has no choice but to lift his hand to his head, pressing down his bob wig to his scalp…..and then the boat tumbles down.

The screams that threaten to pull out of his lungs like the tens of people behind him screeching in delight are instead stuck in his throat. Yoongi opens his mouth, stunned shock and trying to recover. The water had splashed him, making his knees completely wet. But what’s even more appalling…..is that a certain scream sounded like it was coming from you-

“One more to go!” Jimin whips up his arms into the air, embracing the rush. The boat is finished climbing a massive hill and it halts at the top of the edge, wobbling at the very tip.

It’s the last drop. Twice in size from the first one. A hundred feet. From the view at the top, it looks like a straight ninety degree fall. “Fuck!”

Yoongi holds his wig to his head, screaming at the top of his lungs. The others behind him shout too and Jimin giggles. The boat finally tips over and it plunges downwards with all the forces of gravity. The camera snaps a blinding flash. The water splashes like the most intense shower, a waterfall no less. Yoongi’s voice raises to the highest possible pitch. Jimin is still laughing like a maniac. The ride is finally over.

Yoongi feels like his soul’s left his body.

“Wasn’t that fun?” Jimin skips about, crescent eyes paired with his lopsided lips. “Let’s look at the picture, Yoonji!” He pulls the other over and the two wait by the screen, photos passing by at the booth. “Oh! That’s us.”

He lays his eyes on the snapshot, not altering his impassive expression despite realizing how horrible he looks - mouth half open and one of his eyelids closed, wind smacking across the skin of his cheeks, hands hanging onto his fake hair like it's a hat. Jimin, on the other hand, looks delighted with his arms in the air.

What catches Yoongi's attention, however, is a pair sitting towards the back. The male is wearing a trench coat and sunglasses, looking highly suspicious with his boxy grin. The companion beside the male is visibly shrieking...sunglasses flying off and into the air, revealing half of their face.

“Y/N?” He suddenly turns around, lifting a brow. The glare of the monitor from the fairy lights had revealed the reflection of two figures walking by.

You freeze, neck craning over. “Y-Y….Yoonji?”

Taehyung is seen nervously swallowing and then he bursts out in laughter, ripping off the dark spectacles. “What a coincidence!” Didn't know you guys were here on a date! Nope...totally had no knowledge of it whatsoever.”

You want to facepalm at how obvious he's making it, an even worse of a liar than you are. “Wow! It is a coincidence!” Jimin seems to buy into like the angel that he is, unable to comprehend why anyone would want to deceive him. “Are you two on a date too? Oh, but Y/N...what about Yoongi?”

Jimin glances over to your best friend upon mentioning the supposed ‘brother’.

Yoongi dressed as Yoonji, crosses his arms. He looks completely unimpressed and you wither under the glare. “Yeah, Y/N. What. about. Yoongi?.”

You laugh stiffly. “This is just a hangout...right, Taehyung?”

The boy in question simply blinks at you. “Who’s Yoongi?”

A sigh leaves your parted lips. “It's complicated.”

“Well, now that you’re here! You could join us! Like a double date?” Yoongi unexpectedly sparks up in a springy and light tone. He leans onto Jimin, grabbing his arm and pouting cutely at him. “That’s okay, right, Jimin?”

“O...oh yeah!” He’s immediately flustered by the unusual affection of Yoonji. “That’s fine.”

Taehyung shrugs in affirmation. “Sure, why not?”

You’re the last to answer, giving a small laugh but not much can be done when Yoongi grabs your hand and smiles like he’s your girl bff of twenty years when in reality his grasp is an iron vice. “Let’s go!”

//

The bumper cars are next and he is absolutely merciless.

Jimin is having a good old time, laughing his head off in his own little world, wincing and giggling when someone bumps into him. He sports a red adorable car and you try to follow him but he’s too fast and skilled, easily turning the vehicle to maximize his playing time. Taehyung is in a similar state of bliss, except he’s more concentrated on beating others, zipping through the arena.

On the contrary, you’re suffering greatly. “Stop bumping into me!”

Your scream only makes Yoongi bump into you again. “That’s the game, Y/N! How can I stop?” And his grin is menacing, as if pouring out all his rage and anger onto you.

Min Yoongi is a parasite you can’t get rid of. He follows you, attacking at any given chance, ignoring the other players and children, devoted solely into hitting you with his lime green convertible. Eventually, you’ve become cornered, backwards from the direction you’re supposed to be in, facing Yoongi and his smirk. He soon stretches his arms, hands off of the wheel but foot still pressed onto the gas, not allowing you to move an inch. “Yoongi!”

He tuts on his tongue, feigning sharpness in his soft glare. “That’s not my name right now, brat.”

You fake a sob and then the ride officially ends, kids rushing out of the arena onto another game. Jimin and Taehyung are walking at the same pace. “Wasn’t that so much fun?!”

Taehyung turns to you but you only pout and murmur in a weak voice, “I didn’t get to play.”

Your roommate exhales helplessly then tugs on your hand. The mischief and teasing has ended, shifted onto a more solemn tone. “Y/N. We should talk-”

“Hey guys!” Jimin interrupts without realizing. “The merry-go-round!”

Yoongi exhales again when you slip out of his grasps, running off happily with the two other baboons. The only people on the carousel are children...so maybe it is suitable for the three of you to perch yourself onto the colourful horses, motioning him over to sit.

“This is stupid.”

“Oh cheer up, Yoonji.” Taehyung smiles, petting his plastic companion and curling his hands safely onto the golden rod that attaches itself to the ceiling. The ride begins as the piano music and sweet violin pulls themselves together in a harmonic song.

It’s a plain ride. One that has no thrills or surprise drops, pulsing adrenaline that makes you scream. It’s suitable for toddlers and babies, grandmothers and grandfathers with brittle bones. Perhaps that’s why you like it so much. It’s gradually moving, peaceful and constant. You can feel at complete ease, let your eyes wander to the underside of the shell ceiling, gazing at all the paintings of cherub angels. The pretty lights of the entire park swirl around you in warm hues. The horse beneath you dips on occasion, making you feel like you’re inside a snow globe or a music box. Time slows down and you’re able to capture the memory, a moment to breathe in the chaos.

Without you being aware, Yoongi spends the total duration of the ride gazing at you; the way your orbs expand and fill with wonder, skin reflecting against the luminescence, the slight smile that pulls on your lips.

“Y/N. We should talk-”

“Look! The ferris wheel!” Taehyung runs between you two, causing Jimin to urge you both onwards. You’re shoved into the roseate cart before you can get a chance to ask Yoongi what he wanted to talk about. “I’m amazed the lineup wasn’t that long! The view is incredible!”

Jimin also marvels out the window as the cart progresses higher and higher. You keep your eyes trained outside, watching as the people become little specks like the stars in the sky.

“You know…” Jimin draws your attention and he looks at both you and Taehyung seated next to each other. “The two of you actually look pretty good together! Almost as if-”

Suddenly, Yoongi steps on his foot. “Oops! My bad.”

“Oh no. It’s okay, Yoonji.” Jimin perks up with another grin, masking his pain.

Taehyung attempts to steal his thunder away, “so Yoonji...this place is fun and all but I know an observatory where you could see all the stars at night.”

“Really?” Your eyes widen and you lean forward. Taehyung nods.

“It’s beautiful, telescopes that you could see through and a place with grass where you can lie down and watch the galaxy. If you want I could take you sometime-”

“I don’t know how I feel about going to an observatory.” Yoongi interjects, flipping his hair back with the pouted pink lips you’re jealous of. Taehyung’s attention is redirected towards your best friend. Even when you’re half-in-the dark, the lights from the outside seeping in through the windows, Yoongi as Yoonji is still absolutely stunning and breathtaking.

“You like the amusement park much better?” Jimin smiles kindly at her, practically begging for her validation. He glows brighter when she meekly hums.

“W-well-” Taehyung stutters, “if you don’t like the observatory then I know a really nice place where we could have a picnic, Yoonji!”

“But Yoonji’s already promised to have a picnic with me!” Jimin announces to Taehyung, looking at him in slight alarm. He whips his head to the other. “Right, Yoonji?”

“Guess we’re going to have to see….”

You sink back into the bench, staring out the windows, refusing to be a part of the battle for Yoonji. There’s an internal sigh that erupts through the hollows of your mind as Jimin and Taehyung continue to fight for your precious roommate’s time and attention.

//

“Y/N. We need to talk-”

“Oh my god!” Taehyung and Jimin both point to a giant swinging boat. “Is that the pirate ship ride?” They’re chasing the lights, running forth and you’re about to join them but then you’re pulled back, a gentle hand wrapping around your wrist.

“I don’t think so.”

“Wait! What about the ride? What about Taehyung and Jimin?!”

“We are getting away from those apes.” Yoongi drags you to another ride, one that has no line up and the employee directs you into the cart promptly. The silhouettes of the two boys disappear, having no ideas that you and ‘Yoonji’ have vanished behind them.

“What’s wrong?”

The cart launches into the gloomy tunnel and your best friend exhales. “I wanted to ask if you and Taehyung were following me and Jimin. So...were you?”

You’re glad that you’re presently in complete darkness, the ride moving at a turtle’s pace, swishing the water beneath gently. If he could see you, he’d be able to see your entire face flushing. “N-no! Of course not. Why would I do such a thing like that?” Nervous laughter bubbles in your throat.

“You are so frustrating.” He draws out in exasperation, a slight bitchy tone that reminds you of the Yoonji you knew before the entire reveal. “Did you know that?”

“What?”

“How can you be so dense, Y/N?”

You don’t understand where he’s coming from, why he’s suddenly having an outburst. And before you can ask him, the entire tunnel lights up in a neon pink shade, startling you. There are hearts all over the tunnel walls and Yoongi seems as bewildered as you are. “Uh...what ride did you pick?”

Yoongi frowns and he leans forward, reading the words off of the cart you’re in. “Oh god.”

“What? What is it?”

“Welcome to the Tunnel of Love!” A booming voice, a man’s deep timbre rumbles from the ceiling speakers as you’re quickly turning a corner. “Enjoy, sit back and relax. Get closer to your loved one. Don’t hold back now.”

“Uh….Yoongi?”

You’re answered with seductive saxophone music playing but what makes you ten times more embarrassed is the raunchy sounds overlapping the melody. There’s a deep groan of ‘oh yeah’ repeated over and over again with a woman’s moan as if porn is being played. It’s down right dirty and lewd, making you cover your ears with a yelp, cheeks detonating in a burning red.

Yoongi shuts his eyes and puts his fingers to his temples, as if praying or asking for patience. Little did you know, he’s doing everything in his power to make sure a tent doesn’t blow up in his pants. He doesn’t look at you and you don���t look at him.

As if to make things worse, there are little platforms off to the side. On a more innocent ride, they would have little houses and families, a village of some sort for children to point at and parents to observe. But in the ‘Tunnel of Love’ there are strange sculptures of humans contorted into different sexual positions...positions you didn’t even know were physically possible. There’s a land of dildos, of vaginas and so forth. You shut your eyes, humming to yourself despite the vulgar sound effects seeping past your fingertips, roaring in your eardrums.

It’s a fun house of all things sex. And you’re absolutely mortified.

You can understand why there were literally no souls lined up for this.

The ride lasts three minutes, an incredible duration compared to other rides and you don’t even want to begin thinking about why they made it this way. But despite the time, it feels like one goddamn long eternity.  

“Thank god that’s over…” You laugh stiffly and Yoongi joins in with you but instead of seeing light at the end of the tunnel, you make another rounded corner. At first, you’re fearful that they’ll be making a u-turn, allowing couples to experience the ride twice. But then the man’s operating automatic voice comes on again-

“Uh oh! Looks like we got trouble in pleasantville! Hang on! Things are about to get spooky in here! Don’t be fearful to…...grab on tighter.” The suggestiveness of the voice makes you even more anxious but at least the moaning sounds are gone…

That’s what you and your naive brain thought.

But the world is much crueler than that. And even more vicious to you, the little lamb who thought it was the end.

“FUCKING HELL!” Yoongi curses without restraint. The lights flash vigorously with the thunder, a fog misting above the water. There are multiple jump scares, white masks that pop out from nowhere, menacing laughter attacking from all sides. Slithering voices screeches out for help, sobbing and wailing that send goosebumps all over your skin. It’s like humans are being tortured, someone is being brutally slaughtered, a demon lurking in the shadows.

It’s even worse knowing that the pair of you are utterly alone. There’s no one in front of you or behind you, plunge in the blackness. If something did happen, the teenager standing in front of the entrance probably wouldn’t notice and it would take two full days for rescue teams to find your missing bodies floating in the cold waters.

You latch onto Yoongi’s turtleneck sweater, pressing your body against his as close as physically possible. But Yoongi jumps and with the pressure of your warm skin against his. He seems to be developing a problem...that’s not so small. “Y/N. Can you let go-”

He becomes silenced as the cart rounds a corner and there’s a little girl at the side platform. She adorns a white dress, black hair draped in front of her face. “Help me….help me, please! Why won’t anybody help me?!”

She abruptly lunges forward, arm out to grab you. You and Yoongi scream together and he pulls you closer to him, almost adjusting you to sit in his lap. “We’re going to die!” You sob out, digging your butt closer and closer to Yoongi’s crotch, curling yourself inwards. He opens his mouth to tell you to stop moving but he’s interrupted yet again from another jump scare.

Right as you feel your soul leaving your body, the cart suddenly stops.

“Oh no. Oh god. It better not break down. Please!” Yoongi slams the side and the two of you mutter prayers in any languages you know, to any deity or god, to Heaven and to Hell. Thankfully, after five heartbeats, the machine seems to boot back up again and it moves onwards.

The light is seen and you’ve never been happier to return to civilization.

The cart does a small dip, a tiny splash and then it halts at the entrance. The teenager makes a disgusted face at the position you’re both in - grabbing onto each other, your body turned halfway and arms thrown around Yoongi’s neck, how you’re seated in his lap and his hands are on your waist. You don’t even notice, trying to regain your sanity.

You’re still frightened but feel dirty. There’s a need to bathe in holy water, wash your eyes and ears out, call your parents and apologize to them. But you also feel like you’ll need to bring a flashlight to bed tonight and that you might not be able to catch much sleep.

When you stumble out, the title of the ride reads: ‘HAUNTED TUNNEL OF LOVE’.

//

As you’re staring down at a few knickknacks and keychains, something is plopped onto your head. “Hey!”

You’re met with Yoongi’s gummy smile when you turn around. You try to look up but unable to see what he put on you, your toes swivel to the mirror. It’s a dog headband, brown droopy ears that fall on the sides of your face. “Cute.”

You blush at his one worded compliment, short and simple but sweet, summing his entire personality up. But you’re even more flustered with the way he stares at you, like he cherishes you the most. “But why this one?”

“The minute I turn around, you’ve already fallen in love with someone else.” Yoongi reaches over, pinching your cheek. “You’re like a lovesick puppy in need of constant care and attention.”

You grimace, not comprehending what he means by you falling in love with someone else. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

Yoongi shrugs and you scoff, taking a headband by the nearby shelf. On the tips of your toes, you reach up to adjust it onto his head, making it sit perfectly on the bob hair cut wig, the iconic side braid not in the way. Yoongi looks into the mirror, satisfied with your pick on the obnoxious red polka dotted bow. You’re slightly surprised as to why he didn’t rip it off or object to it.

“You know…” The both of you stand in front of the mirror side by side, appearing to others that you’re more like extremely close best friends than lovers. “...I look a lot prettier than you.”

“Hey!”

It’s slightly sad that you can’t object to that fact. “But you’re a lot cuter.”

“What?”

“C’mon, let’s go.”

“Wait! Don’t we have to pay for these?”

He spins around with a smirk tugging the side of his mouth. “Already did.”

Yoonji as your best friend has always been intense. She was sassy, peculiar and spiky, a sharp cactus or rose that no one could get close to. You loved and adored her dearly, hanging onto her every statement like the tens of people who were infatuated and pinning after your roommate. But ever since the ordeal and you find out who it really was, the person whom you cared about so deeply, nothing’s ever been the same.

Even now, when your bestfriend is in a turtleneck sweater and jeans, lips pulled into a bright smile and hair shoulder length, brushing against the forehead - all you see is Yoongi. No matter what form your best friend is in or wearing, female or male or anything in between, you still love this person.

The raspy voice, rounded cheeks and the pouty lips, the softened yet sleepy eyes - the individual that makes your heart leap with a mere call of your name, that speaks sharply underneath hidden compassionate intent, a frowning teddy bear that’s made of plush….

“Yoongi.” You’ll always have a place in your heart for this person. “Put your leg down.”

“No.”

You sigh, watching as he holds the gun up, foot still rested at the edge of the stand. An eyelid closes as he approximates and then-

Bang!

It’s a bullseye precisely in the target, an impeccable hole made in the exact center. Everyone who is nearby in the vicinity stops and claps. Your jaw drops. Even the game vendor seems shocked, tipping his crimson hat forward as he bows. “Nice job! What kind of prize would you like? You can have anything from the top row.”

Yoongi looks over at you and you’re staring directly at- “That one, please.”

Once you’ve walked away from the fair games, he’s shoved it to you. “Are you giving it to me?”

“Sure.” He shrugs, looking around without a care. “It’s too much of a hassle for me to carry it anyways.”

The stuffed animal is a rounded black cat, chubby and made of cotton. It’s dark fur is soft and fuzzy like a blanket and it’s large enough to cover your entire abdomen. The plushie has pointy ears and a tail, rounded eyes with a yellow rim, a button nose as well. “It reminds me of you.”

Yoongi would protest but with your fond smile staring at the animal, he decides not to say anything. A smile similar to yours graces his lips.

It becomes chillier and when you reach out, looping your arm around his, latching on as you used to do - he lets go. You’re about to apologize for accidentally touching him without asking, forgetting that he’s no longer Yoonji that you used to pester but then the words suffocate when he instead….holds hands with you, lacing his fingers through yours.

A heat sweeps up to your face and his other hand points at a stand. “Want to get some cotton candy?”

You’re the one who pays this time to make up for the headband on your head. You get the pink kind that’s wrapped around the stick. When you set yourself down at the bench, Yoongi stuffs his face and bites the very top of it. “Hey!”

“I don’t want to get my hands dirty.”

“Pft.” You try to do the same thing, digging your face in to chomp on the cotton, ripping it with your teeth. The sweet teeth-aching sugar melts on your tongue and you giggle. Yoongi smiles and then the pair of you accidentally go in for another bite at the same time.

In a romcom movie sort of way, your heart thunders against your rib cage but you don’t care for how cliché the moment is nor do you shift away in embarrassment. Yoongi’s eyes are half-lidded, face close to yours but still a bit too far. His hand covers yours, moving the treat down and then he leans in, his other hand cupping your cheek. Your breath goes uneven as your forehead touches his. His hot breath fans against your lips and your eyes shut.

Your tongue peeks out, licking your lips and then for just a moment...you feel the plushness press against yours-

“Yoonji?!” A bloodcurdling scream rips through the air and you both flinch away from each other. “YOONJIIIIIII!! Where are you?!”

Another voice in a deeper timbre calls out, “Yoonji?!”

“Oh, dear lord.” The two baboons are seen running around the premise, shouting and hollering, cupping their mouths with their hands to project their voices. Before Yoongi’s able to make a grand escape, Jimin on intuition darts his head over and a grin erupts on his face.

“Yoonji! There you are!”

Taehyung comes running over as well, nearly tripping on his feet. “Where did you go? It’s been hours since we’ve seen you. The park’s almost about to close! I wanted to ride the chair swing with you! ”

“Are you alright, Yoonji?” Jimin asks in panic, scanning the person in question from head to toe. “I thought something had happened! I was so worried! But I’m glad you’re okay and that you’re safe!”

Taehyung shakes his head, pushing up his lensless glasses. “I was about to go to the lost kids center.”

Yoongi clasps his hands around yours, standing up with you. He wears an impudent pout. “We’re both okay. Thanks for asking about Y/N’s condition. But I’m tired and I’m going to go home now with Y/N. Don’t follow us. Bye.”

Taehyung slumps his shoulders down sighing. Jimin nods with an ‘alright’. “Bye Yoonji!~ Oh, and you too, Y/N!”

Despite being tugged away with the chubby cat hugging against your body and Yoongi holding onto your cotton candy, your other hands holding each other’s, you turn around to Jimin.

“Bye!” And you leave with a skip in your step, ecstatic that sweet Jimin remembered you.

//

It’s practically unbearable. The tension in the tiny dorm room could be sliced with a knife, give someone whiplash if they tried to pry the door open. From the incident where Jimin barged in to before the two of you were interrupted at the amusement park, you’re not exactly sure what’s going on. Trying to wrap your mind around it and decipher the emotions swelling inside your chest gives you a massive headache.

All you know is that what you feel towards Yoongi is different from Taehyung and even from Jimin. It’s different and you’re not sure how.

But Yoongi tries to talk to you about it and you avoid each and every time, still too confused to know how to give him proper answers that he’ll be able to understand.

“Y/N.” You look up from your textbook, startled that he called you in such a serious tone. He’s staring at the screen of his phone, impassively until you realize the expression is actually full of horror. “Jimin wants to meet the twins.”

And there was the whole thing with Jimin that was still going on. The persistent boy had already been on two dates with Yoonji where you had followed them around with Taehyung. It wasn’t terrible on your part since Taehyung proved to be a great companion but it still broke your heart more and more to watch Jimin slip further and further away. Yoongi, on the other hand, saw the angel as no more than a huge annoyance, a fly that buzzed around his head and never left him alone.

“You know what?” Yoongi adjusts his wig and you wipe away the lipstick smeared on the corner of his lip. “We should just stage a funeral.”

“What?”

“If we staged my ‘brother’s’ funeral then we won’t have to do this anymore.” He makes air quotations around the word brother and watches as you smooth out the fabric of his chiffon floral patterned skirt. Yoongi looks especially pretty today, ruffled blouse tucked into the skirt and black kitten heel shoes with white high-knee socks. You pale in comparison with a simple ponytail and striped romper.

“No one’s going to die.” You stand on the tips of your toes, fixing his fringe. “Let’s not lie more than we have to.”

Yoongi sighs, “I don’t want to do this anymore, Y/N.”

You’ve never really understood why your best friend was never fond of the other man. “Isn’t Jimin nice though? He’s so kind and sweet, always thinking about others. He helps anyone regardless of who they are or what they look like. He’s so compassionate and considerate. You know one time when I first got here-”

His thumb and forefinger goes to flick you on the forehead and you let out an ‘ow’, rubbing at the wound. “You’re rambling and going all dreamy-eyed again.” Yoongi steps back. “How do I look?”

“Pretty.” You retort with a small pout. “I wish I was as beautiful as you are.”

“You are.” And with that, the confident tone lingering in your ears and a swivel of his feet, Yoongi struts into the store. You’re left stunned for a mere second before you catch up.

“Yoonji!” Jimin stands up, doing the whole song and dance as he pulls out your best friend’s chair and then plops across from him. It’s only when you sit next to Yoongi does he look at you. “Oh and Y/N! You’re joining us today?”

You flush under his gaze. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s okay! I’ve already ordered for the table.” Jimin tips his head towards Yoongi. “When’s your brother coming?”

“Soon.”

Jimin rambles on about his day, asking about Yoonji’s but your roommate only responds shortly and abruptly. As planned before, five minutes later, he suddenly stands up. “Gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Okay!” Jimin doesn’t notice the stuffed handbag that your best friend carries into the female washroom. When he turns to you, he’s melted into a sheepish mess. “Isn’t Yoonji great?”

You comprehend his sentiment perfectly. “I know.”

“The past few dates have been great…” He slowly sips his water through the straw, looking up at you with gleaming orbs. “Did she say anything about it? Anything at all?”

You can tell how nervous Jimin is asking you the question and you feel even more guilty knowing what your best friend really thought but a white lie is better than the brutal truth. You could never have it in you to directly hurt the poor class president angel. “She said it was great.”

“Really?!” Jimin sits straight up. “She really said that?”

You nod stiffly, ignoring how your face blushes from telling fibs. “She says you’re really nice. That you’re kind and sweet, always thinking about others.” Technically the lies aren’t lies anyways. “You help anyone regardless of who they are or what they look like. You’re compassionate and considerate. She remembers that one time you helped me after I had a bad day.”

Jimin frowns. “I don’t remember that.”

“You...don’t?” You swallow hard, feeling disappointment consume your entire body. It was the reason you had such a massive crush on Jimin, the time where he dropped a seed and your heart bloomed in flowers….for him. “I-I wasn’t used to school yet and we shared that class. Remember you asked me outside if I was okay since I looked sad and then you gave me that rose?”

“Right!” His eyes light up and you feel relieved that he can recall it. “They were handing out flowers near the nursing faculty because of a charity organization or something...I didn’t really know what to do with it and I didn’t want to throw away a perfectly good flower in the trash.”

“Oh.”

“Hey.” Yoongi appears in the form of Yoongi, black ripped pants and white shirt revealing the rather toned arm muscles. He takes the seat beside you. “What’s wrong?”

It’s nice to know you’re better than a trash can. He gave you the flower because you’re better than garbage. The gesture still counts...right?

“Nice to meet you!” Jimin abruptly stands up, shaking Yoongi’s hand. “I...I’m Yoonji’s friend.”

“Uh...sure.” Yoongi shakes the other’s hand before redirecting his attention to you. “Y/N?”

“Oh yeah, you two are dating?” The innocent boy looks between you and your best friend. Then, he frowns when he remembers Taehyung. “What about-”

“We’re dating.”

At Yoongi’s sudden declaration, you’re pulled away from your reverie. Goosebumps form on your skin, hair sticking out and your eyes double in size. “Uh…” Your mouth is agape unattractively and you close it a second too late. Yoongi acts like nothing’s happened and he sips on his drink, looking away nonchalantly like he didn’t just drop a massive bomb.

“That’s nice.” Jimin smiles widely. He seems a bit tense in front of the supposed brother and he turns around to the bathroom. “Yoonji’s been gone a while hasn’t she? Maybe you should check up on her, Y/N.”

You stare at Yoongi. And he sighs. “No. I’ll check up on her.”

Jimin stops him when he’s halfway up, in between standing and sitting, an awkward mid-level squat. “Wait. Are you allowed in the girl’s washroom.”

“It’s fine.” Yoongi scoffs, waving a dismissive hand. “We’ve been siblings for years.”

He disappears and switches back to Yoonji.

“What did I miss?”

“Where’s your brother?” Jimin frowns, turning around to the bathroom. “He was just here!”

“Oh. He had a stomach ache so he’s just in there.” Your roommate turns to you, pretty pink glossed lips reapplied in haste and the corners smudged onto skin. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You hum at the back of your throat. In Jimin’s eyes, you’re better than a trash can. That has to mean something! You’re better than garbage. You’re better than garbage. You’re better than garbage.

Why did Yoongi say you were dating him?

You’re better than trash. Jimin thinks you’re better than trash! Garbage. Garbage can.

There are two more switches. Your best friend transforms back into Yoongi, into Yoonji, into Yoongi and then into Yoonji once more. By the time an hour’s passed by, Jimin’s still smiling and happy, unsuspecting. He’s simply glad that he’s making relations between the brother and the person whom he pines after. You’re still trapped in a daydream, an overload of emotions making your brain into overdrive.

“Where did Yoongi go?”

“He left.” Your roommate is utterly exhausted, sweat built at the forehead, wig not even worn properly and the shirt is on backwards. He doesn’t even sit down anymore, lifting his leg to press his foot on the armrest of Jimin’s chair. The latter man jolts in surprise, trying his best not to let his eyes wander underneath the floral skirt. “Look Jimin. I don’t like you. You got that?”

“What?”

“You don’t get it? Let me repeat it again for you to hear. I. Don’t. Like. You.” He says in a staccato tongue. “Get it through your thick skull and please, for the love of god and all things good in this world, leave me alone. Do you understand? Me and you. We won’t work out.”

“B-but why?” Jimin sniffles, tears beginning to cloud in his eyes. He whispers in a weak and broken voice, “why?”

“I have eyes for someone else.” Yoongi puts down his leg, walking over to you and taking your hand. You finally snap out of it, looking up at him.

“Is it Taehyung?”

“No.”

“N-Namjoon?”

“No.”

“It’s Hoseok, isn’t it?”

“God no!” Yoongi makes you stand. “You don’t need to know. Y/N and I are leaving!”

“Wait! Jimin! I’m so sorry!” You’re being pulled out of the coffee shop, hauled onto the street by your best friend. The love of your life disappears, looking absolutely crushed and brokenhearted. It’s your chance to swoop in and steal his heart! But Yoongi won’t let you go. “Why were you so mean to him?! He was trying so hard! Yoongi!”

“And I’m trying hard.” He stops, the two of you standing in the middle of the sidewalk, the bustle of the rush hour crowds quiet in your ears. The silence the world dawns on you is deafening. “Look at me, Y/N. Really look at me.”

The way he says it is full of desperateness, calloused and strong hands curled around his shoulders. Yoongi is tired, hyperventilating and catching his breath. It occurs to you how fatigued he is from changing back and forth tens of times.

You meet his warm brown orbs, gazing deep into his irises. “What is it?”

“You’re not looking hard enough.” Yoongi lets you go after a defeated sigh. “All you see is Jimin.”

“I-”

Your best friend leaves you be, allowing you to stare at his backside. The opportunity is presented….to run back to Jimin and comfort him or to go forward with Yoongi.

You choose forward.

“I’m sorry.” You catch his hand, clutching it tightly in yours. You’re still unable to understand what Yoongi means. But he seems to have abandoned the subject, purely smiling at you.

“Let’s go home.”

//

It’s warm, so incredibly sweltering that you’re beginning to sweat. Every pant that leaves through your mouth, he stirs underneath you, the muscle in his thigh twitching. “C’mon, Y/N. Y-You...can...do it. Fuck.” He coos gently in between his own heaving breaths. His fingers lace in the mess of your hair, nudging you onwards. “Don’t stop.”

Once you’ve regained control of your breathing, a hum leaves the back of your throat, a low vibration that makes him hiss. Your mouth widens, careful for teeth not to scrape along the sensitive skin and you take in as much as you can. “Oh my god.” A moan he couldn’t hold back leaves his raspy voice and your own groins begin to pulse. “You’re...such a good girl.”

Your saliva is making a mess, drooling onto the floor in a pool and your pretty pink lips are wrapped around Yoongi’s cock. What you can’t reach, your hands are making up for, stroking vigorously with the strength you have left. “Fuck. You...look so good.” In between sucking, your tongue smooths up and down the length, twirling around the head. Your jaw is aching and your knees are bruised from kneeling but the pain is made up for the wetness staining your panties and hearing his melodic sounds.

Yoongi is trying his hardest not to make a sound but he fails. At first he made a simple peep or a gasp, a soft sigh but then it turned into groans, pants and unrestrained moans. It’s almost animalistic and primitive, making you become hot and heavy. His deep timbre curses and spits out crude remarks, voice croaking out the praises and the dirtiest things he’d like to do to you when you’re done. Between saying that he’ll throw you on the bed and make sure you won’t be able to walk straight tomorrow, he chokes and shivers. It feels powerful to have Min Yoongi, of all people, withering underneath your grasps. But he doesn’t take teasing all too well.

“I-I….” He holds you closer, one hand in your hair and controlling you from completely pushing forward and the other is clasped over your hand pumping him. “I’m going to cum, Y/N.”

With a large inhale through your nose, you push closer, swallowing hard and Yoongi gasps your name, muscle tensing under your hot tongue. “Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He shouts your name. “Y/N!”

And when you peel back your eyelids, you’re plunged into darkness, Yoongi above you and shaking your body. “Y/N! Are you okay?”

“W-what?”

You’re dripping in a pool of sweat, hot and bothered. Your panties are even damper than your hair is. The toasty covers feel suffocating and you’re relieved when Yoongi pulls them off of you.

“I think you were having a nightmare. You were gasping and twisting in your bed.”

He’s wrong. Yoongi has never been more wrong in his total life. It’s the opposite of a nightmare and as your dream sinks into you, your cheeks grow rosy and steam practically leaves your ears. You’re thankful it’s dark and he can’t see your face. It would take a million dollars and for you to lose all your embarrassment and shame to admit to Yoongi the truth.

For now, it eats up at you, making you ashamed.

How could your mind think of such a thing when he’s your best friend?!

“I-I guess so.”

Your roommate looks far too concerned that it makes guilt laugh mockingly. Yoongi even reaches up and dries your forehead with his hand, tucking loose strands behind your ear. He goes down onto his knees, studying your face in the moonwash and he cradles your cheek, thumb grazing the reddened skin. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m okay.”

He nods and then walks off, slumping down onto his bed. Yoongi pulls the covers and tucks his legs in, lying down to face you. Then, with the empty spot next to him, he pats the mattress.

“Come here.”

It’s a soft command that leaves his mouth. You hesitate.

If you refuse Yoongi’s request, you know for a fact you’ll regret it. He’s genuinely worried for your well-being and declining the offer when you never would on a normal day, would make him feel like he did something wrong which would in turn only feed your guilt. Thus, you swallow hard before you take the rounded cat by your side. Your toes step onto the carpet and you make a leap onto his bed.

“Oof. Can’t you just get in like a normal person?!”

You giggle, the embarrassment of the wet dream beginning to fade away. It seemed so real and there’s still a mess in your undergarment, being next to Yoongi is dangerous for your heart as well. But you push it aside, blaming it on your outlandish subconscious. You’ve never been able to control your dreams anyways. It probably meant nothing.

You dreamt of a talking banana once. That meant nothing. So maybe this one didn’t mean anything either.

You curl around his body, head resting against his broad chest. The plush cat is in your arms, chin resting on its head. Yoongi adjusts the covers, covering the both of you. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“For making you worried about me and for being distant lately.” All you’ve been doing was thinking about yourself. You’ve been overwhelmed with emotions, the pace of everything that’s been unravelling around you. And you never once stopped to think about Yoongi.

He was having a harder time than you are - catering to Jimin, making sure that you’re okay, helping his silly roommate who couldn’t do anything, all while trying to guard and protect his secret.

He hushes you, leg tangling with yours and arm draped over your waist. It’s comforting and calms your racing heart down. “Just go to sleep.”

//

The institution you attended was no doubt strange. Aside from the peculiar people it seemed to attract and the odd classes, like the mandatory athletic courses, they also liked to have special events.

Perhaps it’s a way of promoting the school to make it feel like one big inclusive community or make it seem like this was the paradise of every single student, an absolute dream compared to other universities. A weekend of every year, parents are invited down to view their children’s progress and the opportunities the wide campus had to offer, showing off the bang for the buck. It certainly felt like elementary all over again. But there was one...massive problem.

“My family’s coming.” Yoongi holds his head within his hands, slouching over in absolute agony. “I told them not to but they insisted.”

“Your family?” You mask your panic to ease him. “I’m sure it’ll be fine….”

Your own parents won’t be able to make it. They had called an hour earlier, telling you that the flight had been cancelled but you didn’t mind much. You really thought it was going to be just you and Yoongi this weekend, hanging out with each other and running around to the booths.

Now, you’ll have to be by yourself. You’ll survive. But it still makes you sad to see him run off without you. It makes you wonder what will happen when your best friend will leave you entirely  and if you’ll be able to cope if that day arrives. On the other hand, you’re quite curious on what his family is like and how Yoongi became the way he is.

“Hey!” He jogs up breathlessly, hands onto his knees. Before he can fully catch his breath, his mother and father are enveloping him in a tight hug. He laughs, “it’s good to see you too.”

You watch from a distance, wearing a slight smile before you disappear alone.

“Your older brother couldn’t make it. He’s busy with his girlfriend.” His mother exhales a long breath. “That rascal made a fool of himself and is trying to make it up to her. If I don’t get a daughter-in-law, I might go crazy in this house full of men!”

“He sends his regards.” Yoongi’s father smiles, calming his wife down. “I hope you’ve been doing well, boy. This is a very nice place.” He scans the architecture around, musing to himself aloud. “It’s modern. I was pretty skeptical when I saw the brochure. Isn’t this university newly built?”

“You’ve always been skeptical, honey.” His mother sighs before she perks up, looking around at the bustle with excitement. “Are we going to walk around the campus? Where’s your dormitory? I would love to meet your roommate and see what he’s like.”

“No. My roommate’s not feeling well, he recently broke up with his girlfriend.” Yoongi clears his throat, dragging them in the other direction. “And the campus is too crowded. Nothing to really see.”

“Oh. That’s a shame.” His mother keeps her smile and she asks the next question gently, almost like she’s coaxing an answer out of him. “Are you dating anyone?”

“No.” Yoongi sighs. “I’m not.”

Then suddenly, Kim Seokjin’s fucking voice pierces the air as he performs a rendition of ‘Unbreak My Heart’ on stage while doing the moonwalk. There’s a crowd of people gathered around him as usual. Yoongi’s parents turn around in mild curiosity. “We should see what's going on.”

Yoongi groans, trailing behind them. He faces down, avoiding people, muttering prayers under his breath not to run into someone who he may know. And as if the world is playing a joke on him, a frisby smacks him in the side of his head.

“Sorry!” Namjoon comes stumbling over, nearly tripping on his feet. He flails his limbs and his father and younger brother laugh hysterically.

“Come on Joon! Run faster, Joon!”

Yoongi muses that the Kim family will probably burn half of the booths and stands around before they’re done.

“Do I know you from somewhere?!” Namjoon shouts over the music, looking down at him. Yoongi shakes his head and hands back the frisby without a word. The former man blinks and then grins. “Okay!” He runs off once more.

Yoongi joins his parents who are swaying to Jin’s screaming performance. It’s horrific. The college boy is the manifestation of narcissistic, opening his arms wide while he’s on his knees, basking in the attention of the stage. His lungs and voice sound like a dying walrus.

He covers his ears. “We should go somewhere else!”

“This is a lot of fun! There’s so many festivities!” Yoongi’s mother shouts, walking down the path. Off to the side, Hoseok is seated on a stool, holding a microphone to his lips. He is passionately reading a poem, tears rolling down his face as he immerses himself, relatively unaware of his surroundings.

“Who are we that we cannot see?” Hoseok reads in a whisper and Yoongi’s father stops to listen. “Making sweet love to the poor, young divorcee. She screams like a banshee and vision….vision that plunges like the black sea. Darkness. The yellow shades spilled across her body, my very animalistic markings, the scent of pee. I count to three. Ughhh..” Hoseok moans into the microphone and Yoongi is utterly disgusted. Was he really reading a poem on sex and golden showers when this was a family event and there were young children around?!

“I come to realize that in this world I am but a mere flea. Who is the person I want to be?”

There’s a round of applause and his parents nod along, clapping with the others. Yoongi facepalms

Off to the side, Jungkook is seated at a booth, leaned back in his seat and his feet propped onto the table. He pretends not to care that his stand is completely deserted. But once in a while, when someone does approach, he leaps up with a smile. “Welcome. It’s not like I was waiting for someone and I don’t care that you’re here but now that you are, take a look at our sports club. We offer soccer and baseball and-”

Taehyung is on the other side with a modified robot in front of him. His hands are behind his back, black frames sparkling as his judging eyes dart around the crowd. Yoongi lowers his head, taking his parents away before the idiot genius can spot him.

“You know, I really would like to meet your roommate.” His mother pipes up. “You’ve told a lot of stories over the phone. Didn’t you say he was really strange?”

“I’d also like to see where you live.” His father hums. “There are rumours that the male dormitories are really...vile. And the people here are also very….peculiar.”

Yoongi laughs stiffly, hoping that time will pass by quicker.

//

You wonder if you should just head back to the dormitory on your own. It wasn’t like you had anyone or could go anywhere. It even felt lonelier wandering around in a crowd full of people, people who had loved ones and were smiling, in conversations between themselves. There was no place for you.

As you turn around, you come face to face with a mopey- “Jimin?”

It hurts your heart to see such a kind boy utterly lost and heartbroken. When his name is called, he slowly looks up. “Oh. Y/N. Have you seen Yoonji? I’m looking for her.”

“W-why?”

“I just...I need to ask her something.”

“Yoonji’s busy right now. She’s not around.” You frantically answer, occurring to you that it would be absolute mayhem if he ran into Yoongi and talked about Yoonji in front of his parents.

“Okay.” Jimin sighs exhaustingly, his limbs still being dragged with him. “Guess I’ll go away then…”

You spin around to where he’s walking off to. “Hey! We could totally go together…” But your voice softens and softens when you realize that Jimin’s nowhere to be seen.

He’s disappeared.

You push through the crowds, shouting his name, trying to find the blonde. People mutter under their breaths while you apologize, racing through and becoming lost without realizing. It’s when you’re about to give up, exhaling tiredly, does your eyes land on a particular someone.

Her hair is cut at the shoulders, ends curled inwards, the midnight black strands smooth and reflecting the sunlight. The profile of her face is sculpted but soft. Milky, clear skin and a gentle sloped nose that a plastic surgeon couldn’t even mimic. She has rounded cheeks with pink lips naturally pouted together, brows that furrow in concentration, long lashes that bat back and forth. She’s in a dress, one that you’ve never seen before, black and sleek, paired with a leather jacket.

“Yoonji?!”

Your feet halt on the ground, heels digging into the dirt and almost setting a trail of fire. You march over in three strides, catching the frail wrist within yours. Since when did he have such slim limbs...you remember him being distinctly stronger. “Yoongi? What are you doing here?! I thought-”

The woman stares up at you with an unimpressed yet impassive expression. Her brown orbs that don’t falter in focus makes you let go, stepping back. The aura of intimidation causes you to swallow hard. Then, her pupils flicker up and down the expanse of your body, judging you.

It’s as if she finds you cute, an innocent, completely harmless. Because then she smiles.

“You know Yoongi?”

It’s not Yoongi. It’s not Yoonji either.

It’s Yoongi’s youngest aunt - Yoonhee. The person who is practically Yoonji in the flesh.

[travelonlinetipsofficial]

St. Moritz - Summer Fun in Switzerland

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St. Moritz - Summer Fun in Switzerland

St. Moritz is a playground for the rich and famous. Celebrities and royals flock to its luxury hotels and world-class ski hills in the winter for outdoor fun. St. Moritz, (aka Sankt Moritz in German or San Maurizio in Italian) was the birthplace of winter tourism, opening its doors in 1864. It has since hosted 2 Winter Olympics and boasts 350 km (217 miles) of ski trails that have been home to international events for more than a century. However, visiting St. Moritz in summer is pretty special too.

Beautiful St. Moritz Switzerland in Summer

While St. Moritz is known for its winter activities, there are countless things to do in St. Moritz in the summer! With discounted prices at luxury hotels, fewer crowds than Zermatt or Grindelwald, and a tourism infrastructure containing high-end restaurants, luxury spas, and fantastic shopping, St. Moritz is a great addition to your Switzerland itinerary in summer.

St. Moritz – Switzerland in Summer

We only had two days in St. Moritz. The moment we arrived at this beautiful alpine town in the Engadin region, we knew we wanted more. Even though our time was short, we made the most of it and stretched out every minute to see as much as we could. I think we did a pretty good job squeezing in a lot of the best things to do in St. Moritz in the summer. Dave and I can cover a lot of ground when we set our minds to it.

Where to Stay in St. Moritz – Hotel Kulm

One of the top hotels in St. Moritz is Hotel Kulm. By visiting in the low season, they had room for us where we’d otherwise be out of our league in the winter. You can feel the elegance and glitz the moment you drive up to its entrance as priceless classic cars line the entryway alongside Astin Martins and Ferraris. Pulling up in our Volkswagen wasn’t a problem though, the staff welcomed us with huge smiles, fresh juice, and cool towels.

Many people visit Hotel Kulm and never leave the resort and we can understand why. They cater to your every need. Be it movie stars, royals, or regular Joes, you can hide away with private cars and helicopters taking you wherever you’d like. Or you can simply walk like us. With a 160 year history, Hotel Kulm has been catering to wealthy families for generations.

Birthplace of Winter Tourism at Hotel Kulm

Remember we told you that St. Moritz was the birthplace of winter tourism? Well, it all started at Hotel Kulm when owner and founder Johannes Badrut told four English tourists that were visiting in summer that if they come back in winter and didn’t enjoy their stay as much as they did in summer, he’d reimburse their entire trip. When they returned in December, they loved it so much they stayed, and Badrut never needed to give them back their money. Word spread throughout England and St. Moritz became the first winter vacation destination in Europe.

Swiss Sauna and Spa

We couldn’t let a night spent in this historic hotel without using its amenities. So before we even stepped foot in St. Moritz, we made our way to the luxurious indoor pool and spa. It was the outdoor pool that attracted everyone’s attention as its heated water was inviting and the view was spectacular.

The infinity pool plunged over the ledge to a view of Lake St. Moritz and the surrounding mountains. We relaxed in the water spas taking in the views before heading into the sauna for some much-needed heat to soothe our aching muscles. Every Swiss resort has a sauna and the spa at Hotel Kulm has both wet and dry saunas, infrared saunas and hot tubs. It’s the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

Leaning Tower of St. Moritz

The Kulm Hotel is located directly across from the Leaning Tower of St. Moritz. The more we travel, the more we learn that Pisa isn’t the only leaning tower in the world. With a 5.5 degree lean it is the same as its more famous counterpart. The tower dates back to the 12th century and is pretty cool to see. I don’t know why we didn’t get a picture of it. We walked past it each time we left the hotel! Sometimes you just need to enjoy the view instead of taking a photo I guess.

St. Moritz Lake

In the summertime in St. Moritz, a lot of the action happens around Lake St. Moritz. St. Moritz boasts 320 days of sunshine a year and residents take advantage of that regardless of the season. Sailboats scatter the lake as people stroll along its shores. In Winter, you can go ice skating on the lake and there are zany adventures like winter cricket, winter polo, and the White Turf winter horse race. The people of St. Moritz know how to enjoy the outdoors! For us, the main outdoor summer attraction in St. Moritz was hiking.

Hiking in St. Moritz

I’m glad we had a good rest at the hotel the day before our day outdoors because it was up bright and early for one of the best hikes in St. Moritz. The Muottas Muragle to Alp Languard hike is one of the best things to do in St. Moritz.

We didn’t expect the views to rival the likes of Grindelwald or Zermatt, but when we reached the higher altitudes, we were taken aback by the beauty. Does every place in Switzerland have beautiful views? Read: The Ultimate One-Week Switzerland Itinerary

Muottas Muragl – Segantini Hütte – Alp Languard Hike

The hike begins at the Punt Muragl train station where we took the funicular railway up to Muottas Muagl for the start of our hike. The trip up the funicular is an activity unto itself offering beautiful views of St. Moritz, the St. Moritz Lake, and the panoramic views of Upper Engadin from 2,456m (8,057ft).

This classic hike is about a 2 1/2 hour climb and if you are going to do just one hike in St. Moritz, make it this one. It’s a good challenging hike that is steep in sections, but not too difficult. It’s the perfect hike for intermediate hikers that will take you to a fantastic lookout at the Segantini Hut.

The views of St. Moritz

The views continue to change as you hike from one side to the other as different ranges of the Alps come into view from the Albula Alps to Bernina Range tower over the Muragl Valley with the Sella glacier and Tschierva glacier plunging toward the valleys. The view took us off guard as we didn’t expect to see such dramatic views of mountains and glaciers. We thought that scene was reserved for Zermatt or Grindelwald.

Make sure to keep an eye out for Marmots on the trail. We saw a few, but always seemed to miss snapping a photograph of them before they scurried away.

Segantini Hut

Named after the Italian painter, Giovanni Segantini the Segantini Hut is a beautiful viewpoint that is worth spending a bit of time taking in the view. It was here that Segantini died while painting the third part of his painting Life, Nature, and Death. The view from this location was his inspiration for the Nature portion of the tryptic. Segantini’s works can be seen in the Segantini Museum in St. Moritz.

Toilet with a View (or let’s make it rhyme – Loo with a View)

The first thing you’ll notice while climbing up to Segantini Hut from Muottas Muragl is a bright red building with the Swiss flag on it. This is a toilet that sits on the edge of the mountain. It’s not often we talked about toilets on the blog, but this is one that you must go in. Make sure to put your camera (but hold on tight) out the window for the view from here.

Segantini Restaurant

After you’ve reached the summit, make sure to enjoy a coffee and pastry from the restaurant at Segantini Hut. There are outdoor benches and several viewpoints that let you enjoy the panoramic scene of Bernina Massif, The Upper Engadine Valley, and the Alps. The sun was warm and strong on our faces and we could have sat there for hours.

The Descent to Alp Languard

Alas, it was time to descend and this is where the hike gets interesting. The trail becomes narrower than the hike up and it goes through beautiful rock slides and fields of boulders creating a great adventure hike through a few obstacles.

Where the sections become too narrow, there are ropes and chains attached to the cliff walls for safety. Make sure to hold on and don’t look at your camera or phone. It’s not dangerous at all, but if you aren’t paying attention accidents can happen.

Many people were climbing up this route and our guide told us it is a much more strenuous climb in this direction. If you only have a short time in St. Moritz, we suggest doing our route from Muottas Muragl. The hike to Segantini hut can be done in either direction, but the people we saw on the way down looked like they were suffering much more than we did.

Alp Languard

Our hike in St. Moritz came to an end at Alp Languard where we caught the chairlift back down to the village. It’s fun riding a chairlift down a mountain. It offers a completely different perspective.

St. Moritz Country Club

The Kulm Country Club is a historic place to have dinner in St. Moritz. It showcases the history of winter sports in St. Moritz. It was here that bobsledding (skibobbing) and the skeleton was born and competitions began at Kulm Park. The Kulm Hotel is home to the St. Moritz Tobogganing Club and there is memorabilia scattered throughout the hotel and country club showing its alpine history.

The Country Club hosts many events and has been host to World Championships a the 1928 and 1948 Winter Olympics. There is a lot of alpine history here especially on Piz Nair where the Olympic and world cup sports take place.

Go to a Cheese Dairy

No trip to Switzerland would be complete without visiting a dairy to see how traditional cheese is made. The Morteratsch alpine cheese dairy is not only a place where they make cheese, it is an excellent outdoor dining venue set in a gorgeous meadow. After a hike in the mountains of St. Moritz, make your way to Morteratsch on the river to the Alpschaukäserei for a cheese fondue or raclette. Don’t miss ordering their cheese board to start, it is a work of art.

While there, keep an eye out for the cheese master who comes out regularly to stir the huge vat of cheese. The Alpine Cheese Dairy lets you view traditional cheese production up close and personal for free as you enjoy your alpine meal. Daily shows happen daily at 9:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. and from 1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.

Shopping

Like many of the mountain resorts in Switzerland, shopping is a must (for the wealthy) when in St. Moritz. Via Serlas is the highest outdoor shopping street in the world located at 1,822 meters above sea level. Dave and I can only window shop as the usual high-end brands like Dolce & Gabbana, Cartier, and Dior are on display. It’s fun to see what things go for though and wonder, “who on earth buys these things?”

Best Way to Get to St. Moritz

We drove to St. Moritz by car and it was amazing taking us through one of the most iconic drives in Switzerland. Having a car helped us explore all of the top attractions at our own pace. However, Switzerland had an extensive rail system and you can easily travel to Ticino via rail with a Swiss Travel Pass and one of the most popular ways to get to St. Moritz is to take the Grand Train Tour from Zermatt to St. Moritz. Two free informative apps to help plan your Switzerland journey are Grand Train Tour of Switzerland app and the Swiss Travel Guide app. Visit My Switzerland for more information

A Swiss Travel Pass includes:

Unlimited travel by train, bus, and boat

Public transportation in more than 90 cities and towns

Including mountain excursions: Rigi, Schilthorn, Stanserhorn, and Stoos

Free admission to more than 500 museums throughout Switzerland

Get your Swiss Travel Pass Here.

St. Moritz is an incredible destination that surprised us. After spending time in Zermatt and Grindelwald we weren’t sure if we’d be as impressed with the mountains of St. Moritz, but it was beautiful and we would have loved to spend another few days exploring this magical region of Switzerland. You can be sure we have put it at the top our list of places to visit in winter.

Read More and Plan Your Travels to Switzerland

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[the-star-and-the-smols]

so interesting! Do you think if you were a giant you could manage to travel around the world in 80 days on foot? Also somewhat related ask; since being a giant traveling would be much easier since you can cover great distances and nobody can stop you into paying for a ticket or getting a visa; what are some places you would particularly enjoy? And anything in particular that would be nice seeing as a giant? (ex posing in leaning tower of pisa etc)

In 80 days on foot? Depends on how big I am lol. I don’t think I could at my self insert’s max height, because even though (and I’ve done the math) I could technically walk at 200 feet tall around the world in 80 days, that’s only if I was walking in a straight line across smooth terrain, which I wouldn’t be able to. I could get from Miami Florida to the Bering Strait, which would be shallow enough for me to cross at that size, but once I got across Europe I know I wouldn’t be able to swim across the ocean because it would take too many days, so,

tl;dr not really, unless I was Really Hella Mega Ginormous (like a few thousand feet) but it’s a neat concept!

And wow, now that you’ve talked about all that, being a giant sounds even more amazing than before. I’d love love love to visit places like Great Britain and Ireland, France, Italy, Switzerland and Norway! (basically just Western Europe)

Mainly Italy, France, and the British Isles. I’d love love love walking through all that countryside as a giant!!! Plus I’d love to visit places like Rome and Paris and get some culture as well as some history tours :) Of course it’d probably be kind of distressing for people to see a 150-ish-foot-tall giant walking around in their city. Hope they would welcome me and know that I’m not going to hurt them and we could get along in peace lol. I’d love to eat pizza or french pastries while talking to the locals :) that would be a dream, just having a famous city welcome a giant me with food and music and tours and friendship :D

Plus I’d love to visit Japan as a giant, because they have beautiful gardens and landscapes :)

What would be nice seeing as a giant? SO MANY THINGS!!! I’d love to stand next to the tower of Pisa actually! Plus the Eiffel Tower, because I love it so much. Imagine seeing a pretty romantic picture of La Tour de Eiffel, but giant!me is standing next to it! (Bonus imagine my boys seeing that aaaaaaaa!!!) The Eiffel Tower is hella tall though. I don’t know how self insert!me would get to be near a thousand feet. I’d feel kinda small next to it at my max height, but that would be neat! (it has cool rooms in it too, including a bar and a restaurant!) The streets of Paris and Rome look so fun to walk down, especially as a giant! I’d love to walk down them barefoot, provided my feet don’t smell lmao. Also I’d love to visit old castles and stuff, and walk around them/ look in all the windows. One of my favorite things to imagine, actually, as a giant, was sitting next to a castle and overlooking a beautiful garden/lake. I’d feel so special there :)

[little-chimchim]

Roadside Adventures

Copy of ask: Hiiiii😊Can i request a shownu fluff？😚😚😚😝😝😝

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2210

Genre: Roadtrip au! Fluff!!

Pairing: Shownu x Reader

A/N: I love roadtrips so this was honestly really fun to write. It was also really cute because I’m in love with fluffy Shownu scenarios. So I hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for requesting. Thank you all for the support, love ya - Kay

@callmeksey Thank you for the request!!

You had a knack for adventure. From hiking in the woods at night, from surfing on the waves on the most windy of days. You lived your life by one motto “Live your life to the fullest and never look back.” It seemed to work so far. You never went a day without feeling a rush of adrenaline or did you ever look back and think “What if?”

That is, until you reached your junior year of college. You were beyond stressed with your classes and tests that seemed to be stacked on you like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, seemingly seconds away from toppling over on top of you. You knew you needed a change of scenery, one that you had never seen before.

So what better than going on a roadtrip to satisfy your needs to be away from your cramped university? The only problem was that you didn’t have anyone to go with. All your friends were too busy with work and classes that they couldn’t even think about leaving the university for a week.

So, despite possibly being called dumb for doing so, your put up a note in the commons area of your dorm claiming that you needed “A roadtrip buddy that can supply some snacks and a little bit of gas money.” You didn’t think it was a bad idea, it was all about living for the adventure after all.

You had only gotten one text back about the trip. A man by the name of Son Hyunwoo, a senior in the arts department. You had only seen him a few times around campus, even though the two of your were studying in the same department. Everyone knew Hyunwoo. He was renowned within the department for his incredulous dance skills and positive support to all of the up-and-coming freshman dance majors.

You quickly texted him the details, telling him that the two of you would be leaving in the morning for a week to travel across the countryside. You told him to bring some food, money, and some good music. Those were your only requirements for becoming your friend.

And that was that. You didn’t know the man besides the reputation that floated around the halls. But by the end of this week with just the two of you, you knew that he might end up being your closest friend.

You waited outside the dorm rooms, sitting on the hood of your car, playing music from the inside. You waited for Hyunwoo to come out, bags in hand and the right mindset for an adventure.

Eventually, he came out of the dorm building, smiling wildly. He reached your car and instantly stuck out his hand for you to take. Your immediate thought was that you found his awkwardness to be kind of cute. A stark contrast from your own, bubbly and confident personality.

You took his hand and gestured for him to get into the car. He opened your back seat door and pushed his bags into the back. He got into the drivers side and waited for you to start the car. You pushed the key into the ignition and pulled away from your dreaded college, your new potential friend in tow.

The first hour or two were spent in silence. Besides the loud music that played through the vehicle, the two of you didn’t say a word to one another. ‘Alright, maybe he’s just shy.’  You thought to yourself. You glanced over to him, he rested his face on his arm and looked out the window.

You took a deep breath, you might as well get the awkward introductions done with. “So, what is your favorite number?” You asked him without thinking.

Hyunwoo looked to you, his brow raised slightly. “My favorite number?” He asked with a little bit of humor in his tone. He laughed breathlessly and shook his head. “I would say number fourteen I suppose. It’s a mix of two sevens so it’s extra lucky.”

This was good. The awkward and sudden conversations always led to good things. You nodded your head and looked out the window. You were nearing a smaller town right off the highway. You turned towards it, figuring the two of you could pick something up for dinner there.

“And what are your thoughts on climate change?” You asked him as you turned into the entrance of the small town. He laughed again, staring at you with interest. “Are you always this weird?” He asked.

You nodded your head and smiled brightly. “Of course I am, the weirdest people are always the best people,” You told him, and even he couldn’t disagree with you.

You spent the first night at an old campground, surrounded by the quiet woods. No one else was there besides a couple campers in the far distance, but you knew that they would not be coming out of their temporary homes for the time being.

You sat on the roof of your car, next to Hyunwoo, eating the bag of gummy worms that he brought with him. “So you’re telling me that you’ve never seen the Godfather?” He groaned, chucking a piece of candy at you.

You caught it in your mouth and shook your head. “It’s always been on my list but I’ve never gotten around to seeing it.” You admitted as you chucked a gummy worm towards his mouth.

He caught it and lifted his finger. “You’re in luck, Y/N. I brought my digital DVD player and a bunch of movies for us to watch.” He grinned as he jumped down from the hood of your car. You jumped down to and followed him.

“You have to be kidding me...You still have one of those?”

“You don’t?”

He got out the DVD player and placed the first movie in the slot. He sat in the bag of the car and waved you over to sit by him. “Come on, you’re going to miss the beginning.” He said excitedly.

You rolled your eyes and sat next to him, bring the gummy worms along with you.

Day 2 went on without a hitch. You ran into a small beachside community that was in the middle of a flea market. Hyunwoo had convinced you to stop by, insisting that it would make both of you a little bit more cultured about small villages.

So that’s what you did.

He was right. From the beautiful seashell necklaces to the unique pieces of art that you saw. It was an amazing sight that you couldn’t pass up the chance to witness. The locals were some of the kindest people you had ever met. They had even offered you and Hyunwoo a chance to stay at their hot springs for the night.

“A gift for the newlywed couple,” The old lady who ran the spa cheered. You and Hyunwoo stood at the desk, receiving your room for the night. Hyunwoo chuckled nervously. “We’re not m-”

You covered his mouth and smiled kindly to the old woman. “We’re on our honeymoon and we thank you so much for the room here.” You told the woman. The woman smiled joyously and handed you the keys to your first floor room. She also handed you the keys to the spa, telling you that the hot springs would be ready in about an hour.

You took them and dragged Hyunwoo with you.

After a night of massages and hot spring baths, you and Hyunwoo called it a night. You slept facing away from each other, though you two were nowhere near comfortable to share a bed without it being awkward, you still felt a comforting aura about being with the man beside you.

Day 3 was spent on the road. You two sang to songs and talked about everything and nothing whatsoever. You learned more about Hyunwoo in and hour than you had ever been able to get to know your friends in a few years of knowing them.

“Don’t you ever regret running away from home?” He asked you somberly, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to live without his own parents.

You shook your head and drummed your fingers to the beat of the music against the steering wheel. “Not at all. If I stayed, I was going to be forced to go to military school. That’s where my father and my three older brother’s went. They wanted me to be in the military along with them.” You told him. You were a film major. You had earned your way to the finest art school in the country by working your thin in high school. You were able to gain scholarships for your hard work. So you used that to your advantage. You packed up your things and went directly to the school of your dreams.

You never looked back.

“What caused you to become a dancer?” You finally asked him.

Hyunwoo shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “It’s always been my biggest passion. After this year I’m going to Seoul and auditioning for a company. It’s always been my only dream.” He said happily. It didn’t sound like he had told many people this.

Your eyes widened “You’re going to Seoul too? I’m hoping to pick up an internship at a film company.”

The two of you continued on, talking about your hopes and dreams of the future, both realizing that you weren’t so different than one another after all.

Day 4 was hectic. The two of you stopped in the center of a larger town, one that had a beautiful vintage touch. A street festival was being thrown in the heart of the town. As the sun fell down below the sky, you and Hyunwoo walked through the busy streets, taking in all of the sights and smells.

You walked with arm looped through his. You felt safer in his presence. It seemed as if no one wanted to come up to you with Hyunwoo by your side. He pointed out a crown made of flowers and placed it carefully upon your head. He stood back, open mouthed. “You’re really pretty.” He said aloud. You couldn’t tell if he meant to say it out loud or just in his head. Though, you hear him loud and clear.

You blushed and handed a couple of dollars to the maker of the crown. Hyunwoo draped his arm around you as the two of you walked. Even though you had only known him for a few days, you never felt more comfortable being with someone.

The center of the festival held a large dance circle that hand couples dancing to the fast paced song that was playing from the speakers. Small, white, twinkling lights hung from the street signs and the buildings, causing the streets to be dim but calm.

Hyunwoo looked to you and grabbed your hands. He pulled you to the dance circle, smirking happily when he saw your look of disapproval. “Hyunwoo, I can’t dance.”

He shook his head and twirled you in his arms. He held you in his arms, swaying slowly to the fast paced song. “Everyone can dance if they wanted to,” He whispered in your ear. He spun you out and back in. He pressed his body close to yours and slowly led you to beat of the song.

Eventually, you were enjoying yourself far too much. You twirled and danced with Hyunwoo, who had the biggest smile you had ever seen. He danced with you until you were you both were tired.

Even after you stopped dancing, he hadn’t let go of your hand. Though, you didn’t really want him to let go.

Day 5 was the final day. The two of you were in the middle of nowhere, on the side of the road, staring at the country nightscape. You pointed out various constellations to him, which you had learned on your previous trips.

It was getting very dark and you knew you both need to retire for the night soon. You look at Hyunwoo and smiled. “Thank you for coming on this crazy trip with me.” You said quietly. Your hands brushed up against his, but instead of ignoring it, Hyunwoo laced his fingers with yours, causing a small blush to creep to your cheeks.

“This is most fun I’ve had in a long time, Y/N. Honestly, I want to go on more of these with you. I want to have so many more adventures with you.”

Your eyes widened, surprised by his sudden boldness. “Are you saying something?” It was your turn to play dumb.

Hyunwoo nodded his head and smiled cheekily. “I’m telling you that I want to go on as many adventures as I can with you. Do you want to possibly go on a date when we get back home?”

You laughed and moved your forehead to touch his. “I thought most of this trip was one long date.” You joked, seeing now that his own blush was making its way to his tan cheeks. He chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

When you pulled away he wrapped you in his arms and continued to stare at the beautiful view from above, both of you smiling like two idiots.

[nozofro]

Mexico City

This is not a place of straight lines. It’s sinking, you see? 22 million people living in a city built on top of a lake. You remember photos of the leaning tower of Pisa? Well, just like Pisa’s tower, Mexico City’s buildings literally jut out at all sorts of angles as her watery foundations, never intended for such a mega-city, sink into the lake. I haven’t even mentioned the seismic activity that goes on there, which shakes things up periodically. Here’s a then-and-now picture:           

It’s pretty mind-blowing. Anyway, Mexico City is eeeeee-normous. According to locals, it also has the most museums in the world located within. I was lucky enough to be hosted by Atala, who collaborates on walking tours with Distrito Peatonal. She’s amazing. Be sure to book a tour with her if you’re in the hood.

You could spend weeks and weeks here and not even scratch the surface of all Mexico City has to offer. In my couple of days there, I visited:

Diego Rivera murals at the Presidential Palace: Epic. Fascinating. Go see them. In fact, go see as many Diego murals as you can.

National Museum of Anthropology – mind-blasting, break it into two days. It’s way too much to take in one go. Take a siesta in the sun next to the pool in the centre when you need a break. Those stone benches are actually really comfortable. (thanks to @limree for creepin’ this snap).

Frieda Kahlo museum – pretty good. The only place I encountered queues and the entry price was around three times more than the amazing anthropology museum. I love Frieda Kahlo tho, so totally worth it. Tip: buy your ticket online before you go.

Xochimilco – great fun. Not really a full day, but few hours and a couple of cervezas on one of the colourful floating barges is great. Highlight for me was all the floating mariachi band barges. I have a weird soft spot for mariachi music. I think it’s joyous (I know a lot of people would disagree with me here, but that’s cool).

Meteorites at the front of Palacio de Minería – this threw me for a loop. There are several huge-ass meteorites just sitting around minding their own business next to an otherwise non-descript building. Nobody even glances at them. I was like “WHAT?!? Holy sh!t, these are from OUTER SPACE!” In my enthusiasm and curiosity, I gave one 14,114kg lumps a hug. Sorry to say I didn’t feel any cosmic vibes, only dust. But seriously, how bloody cool.

Templo Mayor – there’s always a part of me that feels immensely sad visiting places that are built on the ruin and conquer of indigenous peoples. So I like that Mexico City decided to demolish the colonial buildings that laid on top of this particular temple, which the Aztecs believed was the location of the literal centre of the universe. I really liked the museum too. This guy is Mictlantecuhtli, Mexican God of the Dead. I imagine if a particularly foul hangover looked like something, it’d look like him (with an exposed liver).

Mexico City Hostel – is where I stayed. Great location. However, I feel ambivalent about the experience in general. Not much atmosphere to speak of and the room was as cold as a mausoleum. Slept in my down jacket first night and had cold legs. Asked for two blankets the next night and was still cold. Oh well.  

So that was a tiny bit about Mexico City. I was really impressed. It’s fantastic and I’d love to go back and explore more.

Confession time now, I’m a little tardy in posting this. I was there over a month ago. Looking back though, one thing that has endured throughout my travels to date is a nagging anxiety about commencing my university term 14,000kms away from the actual university. It’s ever present. Like that feeling you have when you arrive at your holiday destination and you can’t remember whether or not you locked the back door. Have I massively underestimated what it takes to successfully navigate distance learning? I really hope not. I’m trying my best for positive thoughts to do The Thing.

Anyways, next post will be about my travels to Nicaragua. Sneak peak … it’s freakin’ awesome. Hasta la pasta.

[breakfastisntincluded]

€37

Welp! Now that we've seen all there is to see in Pisa it's time to go to Florence, and y'all, y'all y'all y'all, I was SOOOOO FECKIN PUMPED for Florence and it did not disappoint. Oh no. It did not. You see folx, in searching the web to find out which churches were used for some scenes in the third season of hit NBC sitcom "Hannibal And His Friends", we stumbled upon the website "fangirlquest" and specifically an article detailing exactly where all of these different scenes in the show take place along with delightful delightful, masterful shots of their excellent screen framing and ah 🙏🏽 My peeps 🙏🏽 This humble website was our guide to Florence 🙏🏽 So we got ready in the morning, had a cheeky breakfast in the hostel cafe again, and went on down to the train station which is just five minutes down the road from it (I'm tellin y'all, I picked a goooooood hostel 👌🏾👌🏾) and we went on over to the platform and in the vending machine on the platform they had a lil snack stick of parmeggiano reggiano??? And you know we already stocked up on snacks yesterday.... But life is for the living and it was €1 so you know I bought it! And they had some salty cheese snack fried pieces of cheese 100% cheese snack too??? So you know I bought it! And for Kate we got a chocolate I think? And dangit that was good as well! Kewl! One of the stops on our list was platform 3 at the stazione di santa maria novella which just so happens to be the main train station in Florence, and we pulled in at platform three, so straight away we went around there and ticked that one off 👌🏾 Now kids, I had once again booked us a sweet pad in Florence: nice looking, friendly air b n b lady, convenient to the city, convenient to public transport. And the friendly air b n b lady had given us helpful instructions for getting to the house via bus. Unfortunately, I knew the bus went from the train station but I could not figure out where at the train station the stop was. So it ended up taking us over two hours to get to the house which was only 25 minutes from the station if you walked because we couldn't figure it out 😜 We were waiting at the wrong stop and we couldn't find the right stop and the ticket machine took my money and gave me no tickets so I had to go to the ticket man and then we finally found and got on the bus and we missed the stop so we had to walk back and it was a whooooole palava but actually it wasn't too bad because Florence is just dang nice and dangit we were at a train station some of our fave television stars have visited and ain't nothin gonna put a damper on that high! 😧 😬🙅🏻😎 Hek! So we fiiiiinally made it in and the lady was like still relatively friendly but like obviously annoyed which in a way I understand because yeah we were much later than we were supposed to arrive and for a silly reason but we had also been communicating with her the whole time so I did feel bad for taking up her afternoon and stuff but I dunno she seemed less annoyed that we had wasted her time or something and more just like annoyed because we were stupid for not figuring out the bus or something, which is not something I would ever judge someone or punish for and not something I expect other people I consider nice to do either. So yeah. It was fine it was just a little awkward 😬 But at any rate, we got in, and we got to work with our map she had given us and our websites and we made plans of when to go see which things. I was thinking there was no way we would be able to fit everything in because there was so much to do and we only had one full day and two half days (-3 hours faffing too by this point), but boy was I wrong! :) We set out from the house walking towards the Ponte Vecchio and the Ponte Santa Trinita and we visited those goddamn bridges and I fecking died because kids, mads mother decking mikkelsen walked all over that bridge and holy shit now we have too 🙏🏽 But we left that zone after not too long because damn if there was gonna be a zone for someone to target for something in Florence it's probs that ol bridge 😬😥 We walked from the Ponte Santa Trinita through a square where a really good string + accordion group was playing outside a church and for some reason a couple in their wedding gad were dancing and a whole crowd of people were either watching them or the band or both?? Weird! But cool! We watched to! Nice! We walked down the street past all these fancy ass shops with terrifying security people in the doorways who didn't move and we thought they were mannequins but they weren't and it was terrifying 👌🏾, until we got to the Piazza della Republica which is sooooooo pretty there's a square and a big gate thingy and the merry go round that Gillian Anderson 🙏🏽 walks past and dang 🙏🏽 so good 🙏🏽 We walked around the corner and there was the Catedrale di santa maria novella that Gillian Anderson 🙏🏽 also walks past 🙏🏽 which is ENORMOUS and amazing because it's green and white and pink and stripey which is just not a colour scheme I would have ever expected for a cathedral?? We tried to go in but it was closed for the day inside so we did not. We walked all around and there were lots of artist people doing art but around the back there was one art boy all by himself with these bright orange and purple colours and he was of course my favourite and I wanted to buy a picture from him but I thought maybe it was silly and Kato knew I just wanted to buy things from him because I felt bad for him all alone there and that was a fairly accurate assessment and so I didn't buy anything and we kept on our way. This had all been incredibly fun and extraordinarily pleasant and chill and that was in no small way due to the fact that Kate was navigating and found a very good seamless job of it and I wasn't worried about or concerned with where we were going in the slightest, which was a nice feeling :) We walked along and ended up where the Palazzo Medici Ricardi should have been and had the exact same problem as the people who wrote the guide to "Hannibal's Florence" in that Google maps took us to the wrong side of it so we wandered up and down the street for some time and even went into some shops seeing if they led into it and couldn't figure it out before we walked around the other side of it and eventually found the entrance :P It was. Amazing. Holy shit. We went in there and just it's places from the show and it's places my boy 🙏🏽🙌🏾 has been and it's just holy shit dog they went there and then we went there too. Holy shit. *dies* Also the building and the gardens were amazing and there was a really cool art instillation in the middle of the courtyard and a cool art exhibition on loan from Hong Kong there and it was awesome in the house because there was just like no one else there??? We just basically walked around and had a chill ass time and no one else got in our way or bothered us?! Sick 👌🏾 We had walked past an Asian fusion restaurant on the way to the palazzo so we walked up the road a bit more and looked at a square that was up there and checked out a few of the Italian food restaurants that were there but none of them were calling out to us and we were feeling p sick of pizza and pasta by that point so we went back to the Asian fusion restaurant and it was INSAAAAANNNEEEE we had 'to stay' bubble tea that was just in mason jars and not sealed on top and we had amaaaazing fried rice and fried cauliflower with egg and dumplings and some other shit I dunno but it was all baller and hell yeah Kate chose so well and and it was excellent 🙏🏽 So we started walking back and we went via the piazza della Republica because we hadn't gone on the merry go round in the day because Kate said it would be prettier at night and I agreed so then I made her go on it with me and in protest she sat on a silly carriage one right on the ground that didn't even move 😛 It was weird though it just sort of started and then stopped and some more people got on but there was no announcement to get off so we just... Stayed on for a second turn!!!! Shhhhhhhhhhhh 😉🙃😘😏 And then it was even weirder because the marriage people from earlier in the square were there by the merry go round posing for more photos with their photographer? Surely those clothes stink by now?! Go back home to rest you busy bees!!!!!!! And we did that and then we kept walking and it was sort of drizzling and starting to rain and Kate started to see these flashes in the distance which she was getting increasingly excited about and I couldn't see them but then I did and then we were walking over the Ponte Vecchio and it was properly raining and we had absolutely no jackets or coats or umbrellas of any kind despite the fact that I had two yellow rain coats and a yellow umbrella in my suitcase at the house and in fact the air b n b lady had told us when we arrived that they were having a drought and hadn't had rain in months, so just overall we were underprepared mentally and physically but it was very cool and it was Italy and Kate loves storms so Kate wanted to go to the Piazalle Michaelangelo which is up the top of a hill in a park and somewhere Jack goes on the show, so we set off in the rain and the Lightning to go there and watch the storm. It was quite a way and it was pouring with rain and we had to go up a hill and then we got to the park and had to go up allllll these stone stairs in the rain and there were like a few people coming down the stairs but hardly any people and then we finally made it to the top and it was incredible. There was no one else there, there were two people left in the cafe and the waiters were bringing the outdoor tables back inside, and the man at the drink cart was still there but there was absolutely no one else in the plaza and you could see the whole city spread out in the rain and it was just the most excellent thing and yeah 🙏🏽 Feck it was glorious 🙏🏽 And it was absolutely freezing so we left pretty promptly and started the long walk back to the house 😱 People kept looking at us from food establishment doorsteps like 'don't you wanna come inside' and we were like nope and a few street-selling-stuff dudes tried to sell us umbrellas but our skin was already soaked through to the skin so we were like nope we're being dramatic and we finally finally made it there and walked up the big steep hill to the house and it was so exhausting that walk back and so so cold but hey neither of us got sick and it was a hella rad and dramatic time and I think it was well worth it and once again Kate's determination to enjoy storms paid off prayhands prayhands 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[anotherdoor]

Due to garbage internet connections for the last couple of weeks, the blog posts have not been particularly forthcoming. Wifi connections in Northern Italy seem to be tenuous at best. As such we are now faced with the task of catching everyone up within the next 3 days, coz it would be weird to be writing catch-up once we’re home, right? So basically I’m saying expect a brief surge in blog activity! Thank god our Airbnb in Perugia has a decent wifi.

Anyways, let’s talk about Florence. We spent a whole 7 days there (such a long time!). It was actually really nice to spend a reasonably decent chunk of time in one place – it meant that we could take things a lot slower and have some time just for R&R. Which we needed at that point. Shaun was still unwell (is still unwell [Shaun – pretty sure it’s bronchitis, pretty sure the chest pain is a bad sign]), and while I have a slightly higher constitution score than him [Shaun – at least +10 higher], I was also starting to succumb to whatever illness he had contracted.

Our Airbnb was a lovely little flat on the outskirts of Florence, not far from the Rifredi Station (which is a 5 minute train ride from the main Santa Maria Novella Station). We did have to share the flat with another couple at any given point in time, but it was OK. We actually met a lovely Swiss couple there, who stayed for 3 nights and they taught us how to use the Moka pot (an ingenious Italian invention – home espresso anyone?) and a cork-screw properly. Turns out that if you want to drink wine, cork-screws are a necessity. There seems to be a general disdain for screw-capped wine bottles in Italy – cork sealed bottles are the norm here. I can now say that I truly appreciate a screw-capped bottle. They are so much more convenient. And you can properly reseal them. Corks are a huge hassle. There is no evidence that cork sealed wine is better. It’s just more annoying. Especially when you screw it up! ‘Hurrah!’ you may proclaim, ‘now there’s cork shards floating through my wine. So much extra flavour. Delish!’ New Zealand had the right idea of moving away from cork sealed wine is all I’m saying.

Okie doke, rant aside, we did quite a few things in Florence while we were there (we had 7 nights after all). In regards to ‘resting’ activities we did some random wanderings of the neighbourhood we stayed in, caught up on laundry (at last), had siestas, watched some Netflix and made lots of home cooked meals (the fact there was a kitchen at our Airbnb was a massive boon – you rapidly get sick of eating out, especially in a foreign country where you’re never entirely sure what the bill will be until you go up to pay, and always have to ask whether anything on the menu is “senza glutine”.). Luckily, most Italian supermarkets and pharmacies have a good range of gluten free products to choose from, so we were able to make gnocchi, ravioli, and spaghetti, among other tasty meals. We had mozzarella with pretty much everything, obvs. Mozzarella in Italy is amazing, not at all like it is in New Zealand (in my admittedly limited experience). The basil pesto in Italy is similarly amazing. We had it with potato gnocchi on multiple occasions. So good!

In central Florence I discovered (with help from friend Google) my favouritest bakery in the whole wide world – Starbene; an entirely gluten free bakery! It was like being in gluten free heaven. They had pizza, delicious focaccias, sandwiches, calzones, doughnuts, pastries, little biscuits, they even had a range of gluten free beers and other beverages. It became a habit to go there for lunch. I think we went 4 out of the 7 days we were there. We would probably have gone more, but we arrived late in the evening the first day, the second was purely catching up on “chores” (i.e. getting groceries and laundry etc), and then we had a day-trip to Pisa on another day (which will be talked about in another post). On top of having amazing gluten free food, the prices were about that of a standard bakery. So refreshing after being charged a premium most other places. So much happiness!

Right, so we ended up avoiding most of the super touristy attractions, having developed a deep-seated hatred for queuing in the dead heat of the sun while being harassed by street vendors. Plus, we both discovered that neither of us particularly cares that much about religious art or the many variations of Duomo, cathedral or church. Especially if we have to pay and/or queue to see them. So we gave the Uffizi Gallery, Duomo and vast majority of museums in Florence a miss. 

Instead we did a lot of walking. We trekked up the hill on the far side of the river to the Piazza del Michelangelo (note: most of the best things in Florence are on the other side of the river, Starbene being the main exclusion). We walked through a lovely little rose garden on the way up, where we got to go on a bronze statue scavenger hunt. The views from the Piazza were amazing – Florence is a gorgeous city. So many terracotta roofs and flamboyant spires! After soaking in the views, we continued up the hill to a cemetery where lots of (dead) famous Italians were buried. It was so quiet in there, and we were totally alone most of the time. The tombs and headstones were a great show of wealth and art. It was interesting, if a bit eerie.

Other things we did: Went to the Central/San Lorenzo Markets (a cornucopia of leather goods, fresh fruit, meats, cheeses etc. - definitely worthwhile to see!), visited the Boboli Gardens (pretty, but a bit underwhelming for the admission ticket), walked the Stibbert Gardens (there was a pond full of turtles! And a cute little Egyptian temple.), went to the Oblate Public Library (vast and sprawling, with great views over the Duomo), rubbed the snout of the ‘little piggy’ statue (supposedly good luck, weirdly fun), not to mention a whole lot of wandering the streets and general exploration. We also went to this great little fort called Forte di Belvedere, which acts as a weird art/sculpture exhibition space. It was one of the best places we visited, so great that Shaun will apparently write a separate blog post about it.

I think now is a good moment for a photo montage.

Until next time.

- K