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#so i won't be answering any soon the ones i scheduled to post earlier are all up
pocketramblr · 1 year
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If you keep trying to use the ask game to get AfO simping I'm going to get meaner when I answer the other asks
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pupintransit · 6 months
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At this stage post-op we are about three weeks out from the surgery. Things are healing fine, but not without some complications:
Wound dehiscence at the front of my canal. It'll heal on its own but kind of slowly. Plus according to the trans care nurse I saw it's likely to develop granular tissue, which is treated very easily but it's profoundly inconvenient nonetheless
Urinary tract infection. Search me how I contracted the fuckin' thing but we caught it early it seems. I was given some antibiotics at my last medical appointment, and I hope to christ they kick in soon cuz I had a fever of about 101.6 this morning. Cannot remember the last time I felt that physically weak and miserable. The other day I didn't have the strength to keep my legs prone to air dry properly
There's a hematoma underneath my vulva on my right side. It sounds worse than it is, and it seems to be going down on its own. Still, it is lengthening my recovery time for longer than I want, and it bleeds out of a pinprick sized wound on right side
Ughhhhhh.
Mentally I've been all over the place. I've been going through phases of regret and fear, which as I wrote about earlier this month I experience when I feel particularly bad. It passes just as i expect it too once the pain and dread stops. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with in the moment though. Sometimes you just have to ride the feeling out.
I get asked sometimes what it feels like to be cockless. The honest answer is that is that I don't know yet. I like how it looks and I love not having something dangle between my legs, but it still hurts. I won't be able to use my new parts the way I want to for at least a few more months. I'm still a little too swollen to find my clit too, and quite frankly I miss being able to cum.
I'm not fucking around with my health so despite all of the pain and fever I'm going through I'm still dilating on schedule four times a days and doing my hygiene routines as required. There are consequences if I don't, and I don't want to become complacent and stop. I've downsized to the blue and green dilators for the time being due to the pain caused by my dehiscence. I can always work back up to the orange one once everything heals up more. Right now I want to be sure that I maintain my depth and do so with the least amount of pain possible.
There's someone I follow online who has a Q&A section about their own gender affirming surgery on their social media who has a very salient point in one of the entries. I'm not gonna tag them and risk embarrassing them (but if you happen to be reading this please know that I think very highly of you!), but essentially their point was that, if you're asking someone if you should get bottom surgery of any kind, the answer is no you should not. Asking that means that you're still uncertain about whether or not it's the best decision. If you ask yourself if you want bottom surgery and the answer you come up with is "I don't know," that isn't good enough. For your own safety you need to wait until you are certain. That could take a very long time but it's still the most responsible thing you can.
I had several appointments with therapist and doctors in order to be sure this is what I wanted. When I am in my right mind I am confident in my choice and I don't regret it. You need to be sure you won't regret it too.
Anyway. My next appointment with the trans health care nurse is friday of next week. Luckily my husband is able to drive me since my brother isn't available this time and I really do not want to take transit for that long in order to get there. Ideally my UTI will have gotten better by then. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
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Stay With Me (Pt. 07 of 09)
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Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader
Word count: 3 K
Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.
Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.
<- Previous part (06)
Next part (08) ->
{The Walking Dead Masterlist}
I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22, who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!
×
If You Love Me...
You've seen death. Often, cruel, cold. From afar and from up close. You felt it, in many different ways. At first when your family passed away, then your friends... And you felt it in your body too, in the months you spent held captive, wishing for it. And in the car, as you waited for it.
But it's different now. You were holding onto Melanie when she stopped moving, stopped breathing, the second after the baby cried for the very first time. Her whole body went numb, turned off. She knew her pregnancy was dangerous. Melanie is old, and she had a heart condition. That was the reason why she never tried for a baby before. But now, with the world on its end, she decided to try. Death is certain, she told you once, and if she died in the process of delivering her child, she'd die happy. With a purpose.
But of course, you never thought it would actually happen.
The commotion that followed happened in a blur. Carol passed you the child in a hurry, pushing you out of the room.
You know what happens now. Daryl told you a while ago. Everyone who dies comes back. Everyone is infected. You try not to think about it, to focus on life instead of death.
And that's what you're holding in your arms now. Life. Tiny and fresh, his little cries making your body move out of instinct, slowly swinging from side to side until he's quiet again.
When it's done, and Melanie's dead body won't raise up again, Carol comes and you help her clean the baby. Luke, after her late husband. Denise is quick to gather all the baby supplies needed, and she starts telling you and Carol what to do. Carol already knows, of course, because of her daughter Sofia.
It's quite obvious Carol will take care of the child. It's implied by how Denise is so focused on her, talking fast, gesturing a lot. She's a little funny actually, and easy to talk to. Once little Luke is clean and dressed in his first clothes, in a pale shade of blue, Carol picks him up and he starts crying, with powerful lungs. She starts mumbling, talking to the baby, but he doesn't stop.
“Alright, alright.” She whispers. “Shh.”
“Does he need anything?” You ask, watching as Carol bounces him slowly.
“We did everything. Maybe he's in pain.” Denise removes some of the hair that has fallen on her face. “Let's take him to the infirmary so I can take a look.”
“Ok.” Carol agrees, raising her voice above the baby's cries. “(Y/N), can you carry him? These bags are too heavy for you and–” You quickly step forward, once again welcoming the baby into your arms “–you still need to be careful with your...” Her voice fades as Luke stops crying, his tears shining on his cheeks.
He's so light you feel like you're barely holding anything. “He stopped,” Denise mutters. “I don't think he was in pain.”
Looking down at the baby, you stand there, motionless. “What do you think it was?” You ask in a low voice.
“Uhm, I don't know. Maybe he likes you.” She mumbles, hands on her hips. “Carol, do you think you can take care of him? If not we'll have to find a family willing to adopt.”
“We can.” You burst out, because suddenly the idea of giving Like into another family sounds absurd. “Can we? I'm sure you can teach me and I'll help.”
“We sure can.” She affirms, and you smile. “Let's get going now. They will soon come to bury Melanie.” Her voice gets darker in the end, heavier.
The whole city attempted to Melanie's funeral. You stood there, beside Carol, little Luke in your arms. You felt anxious when some people came to meet the baby, offering you their condolences and any help you might need now. But eventually, she's buried, and you can't help but let a few tears roll down. Melanie was always kind and wise, and it breaks your heart that Luke won't get to know his mother.
In the next days, Carol has been teaching you everything about babies. Teaching you how to look after him. The baths, how to prepare the baby bottle, how to deal with fevers, and stuff like that. You make a hell lot of questions, eager to know every single thing you can.
Your days revolve around Luke, what is good because you don't have time to think about Daryl and the possibility of him not wanting anything with you. The possibility that those warm nights in his arms are over.
Carol helps you get into a good schedule with the baby. You take turns waking up when he starts crying at night, but despite him growing used to Carol, she takes longer to rock him to sleep again. Luke feels better around you, she says. And honestly, you don't mind one bit. Carol assures you the cryings will get worse. Newborn babies sleep a lot, and with time, he'll need less sleep and that's when things will get hectic. But you're ok with it. You're mesmerized by him, so tiny, so innocent. A beacon of light in such a dark world. It's like a miracle to have a baby here, in an Earth where now the dead can walk again.
As the days pass by, you notice that you easily learn your way with Luke. Carol calls it mother instinct, but you never thought you had it in you... You never really thought about kids, but now... Maybe you could have one...
This thought reminds you of Daryl. Having a baby means you'll have to be very intimate with someone. And you can't imagine being intimate with anyone who isn't Daryl. Sighing, you look through the window of Luke's bedroom. It used to be Daryl's, but since he's sleeping in yours, Carol thought it would be ok to change things. So all of his stuff were reallocated to give Luke his space. Even though he doesn't need much now, being so little.
You haven't told Daryl about it yet. Your talks are always brief, just enough for you to know he's alright and for him to know you're alright as well.
Today, another sweet and slow morning, you're at the couch, a sleepy Luke in your arms. Carol is doing the dishes and getting some stuff ready for lunch. The kids will be coming, so she has something special planned. You'll help her in a few moments when Luke is asleep enough so you can leave him in his crib upstairs.
“I'm going to make cookies for the afternoon. What do you think?” She asks from the kitchen in a low voice.
“The kids will love it.” You say, turning your head to look at her. “When are you going to tell me your secret ingredient?”
“Never, obviously.” She answers and you giggle. “You would have to–” Her voice fades suddenly, and you listen as she puts something down. “Honey, I think they're back.”
“What?” Your heart skips a beat. “Are you sure?”
“Let me check.” She says and walks out, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Well, not alone. Looking down at Luke, you smile when he moves his hand, grabbing something in his sleep. He's so oblivious to the war happening in your heart now. In your brain. This is it. He's back one day earlier than planned, but even though you knew the time was coming, you couldn't prepare yourself for it. Breathing deeply, you caress Luke's forehead, very lightly as if he's a fragile little thing. His mouth moves a little as if he's trying to speak and you giggle.
“What are you dreaming about, little one?” You ask him, wondering if babies can even dream. Maybe Denise knows, you'll ask her later.
“(Y/N).” His voice startles you, and you immediately look up from Luke, meeting Daryl's blue eyes as he stands by the door.
“D.” Smiling you quickly scan through his body, relieved not to find any sign of injury. “You're back.”
“Aye.” He mumbles. “Ya always have a kid with ya when I come back” He adds, stepping closer to the cough and giving the baby a look. “Who's this?”
“This is Luke. Melanie's baby, she... She couldn't make it.” The happiness fades a little, and Daryl seems a little sad as well.
“Was it her heart?”
“Yeah. It just stopped.” Sighing, you keep your eyes on Daryl. His face softens a little. “She told me once you know... That she'd rather die bringing her child to the world than in any other way but I never thought it would actually happen.”
“Who's gonna take care of him now?”
“I'm the designated mother.” You mumble, smiling.
Daryl looks up from the kid, eyes meeting yours. “By who?” You see a hint of anger in his eyes and you know why. He thinks someone pushed into it, and Daryl hates when people push you into things. Since the very beginning. He did have a fight with Rick when he first showed up here, wanting you to speak about your past. Now it's just a little bit worse. Daryl is very protective, and you can't help but smile to know this hasn't changed. Not yet.
“By him.” Tilting your head to the kid, you giggle when Daryl's face changes, softening again. “Kid likes me, what can I do?”
“Huh.”
“Wanna hold him?”
“Lemme shower. ‘M covered in mud and I don't wanna to give ya or the baby an infection or anythin’.” He says, already moving upstairs.
“Alright.” Settling down again, you bounce Luke a little, but by the looks of it, he's in deep sleep already. “What happens now, little one? Can you please tell me?” In a low voice, you ask him. If only anyone could answer that...
“Where's Daryl?” Carol asks as she comes inside, closing the door.
“Showering.”
“Let me put him in his crib.” She comes to the couch, and you carefully lies Luke in her arms. “You two need to talk.”
“Yeah.” You mutter, watching as she moves upstairs.
You don't want to talk to Daryl. Maybe you shouldn't have spoken to him about your feelings. What if it's too early? Things were perfect before and you don't think you can take it if he wants to... End things? Change things? “Shit.” Quickly, you get up, leaving the house. Running away is not your thing. Not when it comes to Daryl. The only running there is, is when you run into his arms. But now, you just can't. And you don't know where to go. So you just start walking downstreet, trying not to think too much. There isn't anywhere to hide here. If Daryl wants to find you, he will.
“(Y/N)!” Someone calls, and after the usual terror, you recognize Maggie's voice, turning on your heels to look at her. “Daryl's back. Go see him.”
“I-I know.” Stuttering, you look at the street, making sure Daryl isn't anywhere he can see you before you make your way over her. “I just...”
“I thought you two were ok. Before he left I swear to God I thought you'd kiss him.” She climbs down the few steps of the porch, but you gesture for her to go back inside.
“We are.” Maggie has become a close friend. And if you don't talk about this things with someone, nobody will be able to help. “Uhm... I...”
“C'mon in.” She opens the door and steps aside. “Glenn isn't here so don't worry.”
“Ok.” Sighing, you step in, moving to the couch and taking a seat.
“Now...” Maggie comes and sits beside you, a leg folded under herself. “...why aren't you in Daryl's arms right now?”
It's not a secret anymore, Daryl and you. It eventually got out of the house, you don't really know how. “Because I... Goddamn it! I told him I wanted us to be a couple. Right before he left so he could think about it and now I'm terrified of what he'll say and I'm running from him.” You speak fast, hands covering your face. “I freaking love him.”
That's it. The words just came out. You freeze, breathing fast, the weight of the acknowledgment making a few tears roll down. You lie back on the couch, eyes on the ceiling.
“So... Do you want me to act surprised?”
“I want him to love me too.” It comes out as a whisper because this can't be heard by anyone. Not even by Maggie. But that already happened.
“Daryl allowed you to touch him. In public. And he touched you. Again, in public.” Maggie touches your leg, shaking it a little to get your attention, only stopping when you sit up again. “If he didn't love you back, that wouldn't happen.”
“Daryl... May like me. He's very protective and I love that since... Well, since all that shit happened but... Maybe this is it.”
“I don't think so. Daryl always makes sure everyone is safe, but with you it's different.”
Sighing, you wonder if you should believe that. Maybe, if you keep your hopes low, you won't get hurt.
No. You'll get hurt anyways. “I think I should go...”
“Yeah, he'll come here looking for you.”
“Maybe...” Pushing yourself back at your feet, you take a deep breath. “I'll... Take a walk.”
“You know he'll find you, right?” She says, following you to the front door.
“I know... Thanks, Maggie.” Smiling at her, you walk away, always careful in the steps before heading to the garden on the West side of the city.
There are some people here, not much though, but you still keep a distance. By the wall, there's a small square, if you can call it that, with some benches and threes. The kids come to play here some days, but it's not their favorite place. Taking a sit, strategically by a three so it'll hide you, you cross your legs. The wind makes you shiver since the thought of bringing a coat didn't even cross your mind. But it's beautiful here, and lonely. Few people come here, and you rather be alone. At least now, to think.
“Never thought ya would run from me.” His voice makes your heart skip a bit, and you do feel a little guilty. You're not sure why though. Silently, you watch as he comes to stand before you.
“I'm not...” You're were running away. No reason to try to dissimulate. “I just needed some time. Thought you would need some too, so...”
“Had plenty of time out there.” Raising your head to look at him, you can't shake the feeling he always brings you. Safety, warmth, home...
“Yeah... But you don't have to... I mean, what I said before, you don't have to...”
“We need ta’ talk. But not here, c'mon.” He reaches out his hand and you take it, pulling yourself up. “Ya need me ta’ carry ya?”
“No, I can walk.” If he's about to end things, the best you can do it put some distance already.
You walk at the fastest pace you can, eager to just end this. To know what happens now and work from there.
The moment you get to the house, Carol leaves, telling you Luke is asleep and he won't be up for a few hours.
So you go back to the couch, sitting down and bracing yourself, preparing for the worst. Daryl sits beside you but doesn't say anything. Bouncing your leg, you curse yourself for what you did. You know Daryl isn't the one to talk about his feelings, and you don't want to push him to.
“I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have–”
“Ya wanna be with me. Why?” He bursts out, and you look at him. Daryl has his elbows on his knees, eyes on the floor.
“Because I–” Are you really gonna say it? Can you tell him that? Isn't it too soon? Or too late? “I really, really like you... More than a friend or a protector.”
“Ya shouldn't. ‘M way older than ya and yer–”
“Daryl, it's not up to you to decide what I should or shouldn't do. Or feel.” Cutting him short, you turn your body towards him, touching his arm, relieved when he finally looks up into your eyes. “I know you think very low of yourself. I'm well aware of the age thing, but I don't care. What I need to know is how you feel about me.” Making a pause, you take a deep breath. This isn't easy, but you have to talk. To somehow make it easier for him, if that's even possible. “It's alright if you don't. I-I know you don't like talking about this, but I just need to know if... If there's anything else... If you feel this way about me too...”
“I like ya, (Y/N).” He says in a very low voice, you can barely hear it. “And ya shouldn't have feelings for me.”
“Daryl...”
“Nah, lemme talk.” He cuts you off, faking an angry tone. Raising an eyebrow, you nod. “Ya shouldn't. Yer... Young an’ pretty an’ I can't ruin ya. Ya deserve someone better than me.”
“I don't want anyone else, Dixon.” It breaks your heart when he talks like that. You wish he could see himself through your eyes. Who he really is, not this messed up an image he has of himself. “And you won't ruin me. I don't even know what you meant by that, but that's not true, Daryl, I... If you want this... If you want me, you won't ruin me. You'll make me very, very happy.”
You're happy you managed to say all that, despite the many pauses and all the stuttering. There is much more to say, but the time will come. For now, everything you need is to know how he feels.
“I think yer making a mistake, but... I've been thinkin’ and... I don't like bein’ away from ya.”
A smile starts making its way to your lips. “Does it mean that...”
“Yeah, I guess it means that.” He affirms, still not wanting to say the words.
“...Are we going to be a couple?” You have to be sure before celebrating it.
“Yeah.”
“Like... boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Ya need me ta’ drawn it to ya?” He bursts out, an annoyed expression on his face.
Giggling, you raise an eyebrow. You love this side of Daryl and you hope to see more of it. “Sassy Daryl is one of my favorite Daryls.” You say, moving to his lap, straddling his hip. A second later you realize what you did, your cheeks burning. Daryl is red too, and he's not sure what to do with his hands, but you soon feel them on your waist. “So... Oh, I don't know if you noticed but your room was claimed by a newborn child.”
“Yeah, I noticed the crib.”
“So you're now permanently stuck in my bedroom. Hope it's not a problem.” Smiling, you wrap your arms around his neck. You then realize you haven't kissed him yet. And, hell, you want to.
“Not at all.”
“Can I kiss you?” It comes out suddenly, too fast, and you look down, wondering if he can listen to your heart since it's beating insanely fast.
“Ya want to?” He almost stutters, his voice barely a whisper.
“Yeah...” Nodding, you move closer, eyes closing, and your skin burning in anticipation.
You jump to hear the front door opening, head immediately turning to find Carol. Her eyes go wide at the sight of you and Daryl like this...
“I–”
“Carol, I need you to go away. Like right now.” You tell her, urgency in your voice. You don't want the moment to pass, and you just need to kiss him. Right now. It's like a matter of life and death. “Please.” You decide to add.
“Alright, alright.” Raising her hands, she quickly goes upstairs, and you settle down again, hoping Daryl hasn't changed his mind.
“Ok... Can I–”
You feel his lips on yours before you can finish, and you don't mind at all. Pushing yourself closer to him, you deepen the kiss, completely inebriated by him. The pace is slow at first, as if you're getting to know each other, feeling each other, but then it changes, faster, full of need. You get the sensation he doesn't believe this is happening, by the way his arms hold you as if you would disappear. You won't. This is where you want to be, right here, with him.
×
@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad @cameronsails @pulplorrd @browneyes528 @btsiguess-kpop @a-dlv @bibibeauelle
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itsadamcole · 4 years
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bet pt. 2
fem!reader x adam cole
Reader and Adam come face to face after six months apart at Survivor Series ... “please, forgive me”
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word count: 3.4k+
warnings: smut, angst, a lil bit fluffy
— hey hey, here’s part 2 of the short adam cole series .... on a side note, i’ve really been in the holiday spirit so i’ve started writing some christmas / fluffmas imagines ... the first two are scheduled to be posted december 1st and 2nd —
masterlist || part 1 || request an imagine here
~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~
Survivor Series. The day you've been dreading for six months since you left Adam.
Six months ago, you walked out on the best and the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Six months ago, you lost a piece of yourself and turned to sleeping with your best friend, Tyler Breeze, just to fill that void.
But it's not filled. It'll never be filled. So you stopped about a month ago, and Tyler now has a girlfriend so nothing's weird between you two.
You've never gone back to Adam. It's taken everything in you to stay away from him. You've barely spoken to him in six months, but since he's NXT Champion and you're Raw Women's Champion, you both have matches at Survivor Series.
You sit in your dressing room, scared to leave. Scared to run into Adam or one of the Undisputed Era boys. It's your worst nightmare.
"Y/N! You're on in five minutes!" someone calls through your door.
Sighing, you get up and grab your title, throwing it over your shoulder. With your anxiety rising, you leave the room.
You don't know what you'll do if you see Adam. It's been so long and he's probably moved on. You haven't, but you've tried.
Once backstage, you stretch out. Your opponents, Smackdown Women's Champion Sasha Banks and NXT Women's Champion Io Shirai, into the small room.
"Hey, girlie," Sasha says. "You have an audience in catering."
You sigh and say, "If it's Adam then I don't care."
Sasha says, "Y/N, come on. I've told you before. That man is head over heels for you. Maybe the beginning was a lie or a bet or whatever it was but he truly loved you. I saw it. We all did."
Your music hits and you say, "I can't talk about this right now, Sasha. I have a match to focus on."
You make your entrance, forcing a smile onto your face as you step into the ring.
****
Adam's POV
She looks beautiful in her dark red gear. It's my favorite ring gear that she owns. It sparkles but is dark at the same time. Definitely her two personalities mixing together.
I miss her like hell. I haven't been able to move on from her. It's been six months and I'm still infatuated with her. I love her. I've loved her for so long. It pains me to see her. Rumor has it that she's seeing her friend, Tyler.
I stand in catering to watch her as the match begins. My match is next and I know they'll call me back any minute and I'll come face-to-face with her when she walks through those curtains.
She's distracted by something. Her footing is off and she's not selling moves like she usually does. Maybe Sasha told her she saw me in catering. I told her I was going to watch Y/N here on the TV.
"Yo, Cole," Kyle says, clapping me on the back. "Your match with Drew and Roman is next. Let's head backstage."
I say, "Yeah, okay." I leave the TV and walk backstage with Kyle, Roddy, and Bobby.
We get backstage and I see there is a TV. I watch it.
Roderick says, "Talk to her after your match. I know that you've been wanting to talk to her."
I sigh and say, "She doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't even want to see me, Roddy. There's no point."
Bobby says, "You should still try instead of sulking."
I look over at Bobby and say, "She left me, Bobby. If she wanted to talk to me then she would have already." I'm starting to get heated.
Kyle says, "Adam, bro, calm down."
"You want me to calm down? Seriously?" I say, my voice rising. "You three are the reason I'm in this mess. You three came up with the bet and I accepted it because I was drunk and secretly was crushing on Y/N. I never should have accepted it because I fell in love with her and now she's fucking gone! I can't live without her, and the only reason I'm still in this damn company is because of the title around my waist. There's nothing else for me here because she's gone!"
What I didn't know was that Y/N's match ended and she came through the curtains in the backstage area with Sasha and Io. The guys were all looking behind me and that's when I realized she was standing right behind me, listening to every word.
****
Your POV
As you walk backstage, you can hear someone shouting.
"... I was drunk and secretly was crushing on Y/N. I never should have accepted it because I fell in love with her and now she's fucking gone! I can't live without her, and the only reason I'm still in this damn company is because of the title around my waist. There's nothing else for me here because she's gone!"
The voice is Adam's. He's shouting at the guys. You've never once heard him raise his voice at anyone, not unless it was important or serious.
You stand backstage with Sasha when Adam turns around and he sees you. His title is secured around his waist and he's wearing his black and gold gear with his Undisputed Era t-shirt.
There's nothing else for me here because she's gone. Those words stuck with you. If it wasn't for that title around his waist, he probably would have left WWE and gone to work with Ring of Honor again or maybe even AEW.
Drew McIntyre and Roman Reigns come backstage at this moment. The tension between everyone in the room is thick. Drew and Roman realize this and ask to make their entrances first.
Right before Adam makes his entrance, you rush out of the backstage room. Sasha right on your heels.
Tears have started running down your cheeks. You get to your locker room and throw your title on the couch.
Your win tonight means nothing anymore. It doesn't matter that you won. Your happiness was swept away when you heard Adam ranting to the guys about you. Six months later and he's still trying to defend his lies.
He'd have left WWE if it wasn't for that title he's managed to hold for two and a half years. It's the only reason he's still in WWE.
You start to throw things around the locker room. You're upset, you're angry, and most of all, you're frustrated. Even after finding out about the bet and after he lied to get you to sleep with him, you still love him. Six months later you still love him. After everything, you'd go back to him.
Sasha grabs your wrists and says, "Y/N. Y/N, stop it. Please. Before you hurt yourself or break something super expensive."
You look at your best friend and cry, "Why do I still love him even after he lied to me? Why would I drop everything and go back to him if he asked me to? Why would I take him back?"
"Because deep down you know that he never lied to you," Sasha says. "You know that he actually loves you and it wasn't for some stupid bet he made with his friends. Love is crazy and makes us do crazy things."
You sniff and wipe away your tears. "Can we get out of here? I don't want to be here when his match is done because I know he'll want to come looking for me," you ask.
Sasha nods and says, "Of course. Get changed and we'll head back to the hotel."
You nod and change out of your ring gear and into your street clothes. You let Sasha borrow some extra clothes you had so the two of you can leave as soon as you're changed.
****
Back in the safety of your hotel room, you order room service and watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix as you lay in bed.
There's a knock on your door at around midnight. You think it's Sasha coming to return the clothes she borrowed earlier so you answer the door.
It's not Sasha at your door. It's Adam Cole.
"What?" you ask. "It's late."
Adam says, "I looked for you after my match. I wanted to talk about what you heard."
You say, "I don't blame you for wanting to leave WWE since I left. I'd want to do the same thing if I was you."
He says, "I tried to leave the company. A few weeks after you left, I went to Regal and Triple H to get them to let me go. I was ready to drop my title just to leave the company but they convinced me to stay."
You look at Adam as he talks. This is going to be a long conversation so once he's done talking, you say, "Come inside, Adam. We can keep talking inside." You move to the side and he walks inside.
Closing the door, Adam says, "I get why you left. I lied to you a few times at the start but within two weeks, I called off the bet."
"Adam," you say.
He shakes his head and he says, "Let me explain."
You sit on the bed and look at him. "So explain," you say.
Adam walks and stands in front of you. He says, "The night of the bet, the four of us got drunk. We drank a lot and we started talking about relationships. I mentioned to them that I had a little thing for you and that's when Bobby came up with the bet. He said that there was no way that I'd be able to get you into bed. Kyle and Roddy joined his side. I accepted the bet because I was drunk and liked you for some time. I was the only single guy in the Undisputed Era. But, like the dumbass I am, I took it a step further and started a relationship. Two weeks after the relationship started, I completely called off the bet because you meant so much more to me than a stupid bet."
You say, "Being drunk doesn't excuse you from accepting it. It won't work on me."
He says, "I'm not done yet. After the bet ended, I told myself that I'd never tell you about it because of this happening with us. You getting mad and leaving. I'd never choose my career over you because I know in the long run, you'd always be there for me. Wrestling is something I'll do until I'm fifty or so but there's nothing for me after that until I met you. Then I messed everything up. You're even seeing someone else right now so I don't expect you to come back to me."
You sit and listen to every word. Once he's done talking, you say something. "I'm not seeing anyone right now. I've been single for the past six months, But if I asked you to retire right now, you'd do it?" you ask, testing him.
Adam nods and says, "Yes, I would. You mean more to me than a bet or than wrestling. I love you, even after all this time. Please, forgive me."
You sigh, "I have forgiven you, Adam. For the most part. I just can't forget what happened and what you said to me that day. You lied to me just to get me in bed. You lied to start a relationship with me. All you had to do was say, 'hey, Y/N. I like you and I'd like to take you out on a date' because I would have said yes. I liked you for so long, Adam. All you had to do ask me out."
He looks down at you and he says, "You don't have to forget because we can both grow from what happened. I'm a dumbass, I know. I was just nervous and in a way, the bet made me talk to you. I just want to make it up to you, Y/N. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you on that date. A real first date."
You look up at Adam and say, "I don't know. I don't fully trust you, Adam."
Adam tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear and he says, "I can make it up to you, Y/N. Let me at least try. I've learned from this and I want to show you that I've learned from this."
Your heart pounds in your chest as he touches you for the first time in six months. Without knowing it, you lean into his touch and close your eyes.
His hands rest on your cheeks for a second before he pulls you up so you're standing in front of him. You look up at Adam. "I'll think about it," you say, finally reply to what he said.
You feel Adam's hands leave your cheeks and slide to your waist. He pulls you closer to him. You're eye level with his chest before you look up at him with your eyes, meeting his pretty blue orbs.
"Can I start right now?" Adam asks as he starts to lean into you. You grab a fistful of his shirt, not knowing if you should back away or not.
Your lips brush against Adam's and you say, "I still need some time."
His lips move down to your neck and you gasp softly, tilting your head back a bit. Adam mumbles, "I need to make it up to you, Y/N." He starts to kiss your neck gently. Your hands slide into his hair as he picks you up by your thighs. You wrap your legs around his waist.
Sighing as he kisses your neck, you give in and say, "God, make it up to me, Adam. Make it up to me all night if you want to. I need you."
You look down at Adam and he looks up at you, pulling away from your neck. He kisses you hungrily. Your lips move feverishly against his, both of you letting out soft moans into the kiss.
He lays you down on the bed and hovers over you, not breaking the kiss. He grinds his bulge against your clothed core. You moan into the kiss, reaching down and pulling Adam's shirt up over his head. That breaks the kiss momentarily but your lips connect again like magnets right after.
The passionate kiss becomes more intense when Adam slips his tongue into your mouth. His fingers dip into the waistband of your sweatpants, rubbing you slightly over your panties. You moan against his lips.
Adam's hands run up your body, slipping under the shirt you're wearing. He pushes up the shirt until his hands are on your breasts, massaging them. You gasp and moan, pulling back from the kiss. You lift your arms above your head so Adam can pull off your shirt. You never put on a bra when you got changed earlier.
He pushes up your shirt, kissing and sucking on your breasts. Your eyes close and you smile.
"You're so beautiful," Adam mumbles against the sensitive skin on your breasts. "I am so in love with you."
You sigh, "Less talking, Cole. More fucking."
Adam smirks and says, "With pleasure."
Within seconds, both your pants and Adam's pants are off with both your underwear. Adam hovers on top of you between your legs.
His lips are on yours, moving feverishly against yours. Your hands are on Adam's back, holding him close to you.
The tip of Adam's erect member runs through your wet folds, making you moan into the passionate kiss.
"Adam, baby," you mumble against his lips. "If you don't stop teasing me instead of fucking me, I'll walk out the door. I swear to God-" You're interrupted by Adam thrusting hard into you, making you cry out in pain and pleasure. Your fingernails dig into his back.
He has a smirk on his lips and says, "You were saying?"
You stare up at him and move your hips so he's completely inside of you. "You gonna do something or are you just gonna lay there?" you ask.
Adam positions himself above you so he thrusts into you. Slowly but deeply. His hips are already flush against yours as he pushes your legs up so they rest against his arms.
He's kissing your neck as he thrusts his hips into you. Every few seconds, his thrusts get faster and harder. Your fingers slide down his back, definitely leaving scratch marks.
The room is filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping together. A layer of sweat has appeared on both your bodies. It's a little warm in the room.
Your moans get louder the harder he moves. Your hands eventually make their way into his hair, gripping it a little bit as he moves.
Adam lets out soft groans as he thrusts harder and deeper into you than he ever has. You throw your head back and pant, "God, I love you so much. I love this so much."
He smiles and starts to kiss your neck. His thumb rubs your very sensitive clit, making you almost scream out his name. "Fuck, Adam. Just like that," you cry out.
The bed begins to creak and hit the wall a bit when Adam picks up speed again. Your legs begin to shake and your walls clench around Adam.
Adam realizes how close you are and he says in your ear, "Come for me, baby. I want you to come around me like you always do."
You don't wait anymore. You release around Adam, crying out his name. He pulls out right before he comes, releasing his seed all over your core and stomach. His fingers help you ride out your high.
Adam collapses beside you, grabbing his shirt and wiping you down. You pant and stare up at the ceiling.
You think about the day you left and you close your eyes.
Maybe you overreacted a little bit by leaving. You never heard the whole story, until today. You never let him fully explain.
You let out a sigh and ask, "Do you really love me? Even after six months apart?" Your eyes open and you look over at Adam.
Adam looks over at you and says, "I was ready to love you forever. Of course I love you after six months apart."
"Do you have any other secrets you need to tell me?" you ask.
He shakes his head and says, "I'm a completely open book to you now. No more secrets, I promise."
You lean over and press a lingering kiss to his lips. After a few seconds, you answer the question he asked you six months ago right before you walked out the door.
"Then yes," you say, not pulling back very far from the kiss.
He tilts his head and asks, "Yes, what?"
You smile and say, "I'm answering the question you asked me six months ago before I left. Yes."
Adam thinks for a second before he finally gets it. He smiles wide and puts his hands on your cheeks, pulling you down for another kiss. You giggle against his lips.
He rolls onto you then gets off the bed. He fetches his jeans, pulling something out. "I've carried this with me everyday for six months, hoping that one day you'll accept it," Adam says, coming back to the bed.
In his hand is the same velvet black box that he held out to you six months ago and inside, the same diamond oval engagement ring he presented to you.
You smile as he pulls out the ring, sliding it onto your left ring finger.
Adam lightly kisses you and says, "That's my promise that I will not keep another secret from you, unless it's a secret to surprise you in a good way."
You giggle and look at your ex-boyfriend turned fiancé before you say, "The guys and Sasha will be so confused when I show up with a ring on my finger."
"Let's worry about that tomorrow," Adam says. "I still have a lot to make up for and it might take all night."
And with that, you spend all night having the best make up sex with Adam. You don't fall asleep until the sun has begun to rise.
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fritae · 3 years
Text
The Missing Piece (Ch 14)
Flirt.
Tumblr media
gang! au / ceo! au
characters: dabi x f. oc, lov
status: ongoing
read on ao3 here.
a/n: I'm sorry for not updating for a bit, I was busy with finals. But hopefully, I should be posting more often from here on out! I hope you're all doing well in the meantime :)
---
As I make my way to the Blaze today, my conversation with Al this morning is all I can think about.
"What time are you coming home tonight?" I asked her as we both got ready to leave the house. It was rare for us to leave at the same time, Al usually sets out hours earlier.
"Probably 11-ish? The Midnight Show's on break today."
"Really? That's weird. That's never happened before."
"Yeah, we're doing maintenance today so the equipment will need to rest overnight. All our stations are clocking out early."
"How about you?" She asked me as I locked the door behind us.
We pause before our apartment for a moment, as I shrug. "Mr. Dabi needs me today. I'll probably come home late again."
Al nods. "I'll see you tonight!" She calls out before walking in the opposite direction.
"Yeah," I wave back. "But don't wait up for me!"
---
I knock on the door once and turn the knob to Dabi's office.
But my grin falls when I find the room empty.
I sigh.
"Looking for someone?"
I turn around immediately.
"Dabi," my face brightens. He's wearing a simple black suit today. My eyes unconsciously glance at his abdomen, looking for any sign of blood. I hug the morning report closer to my chest when I find none.
"Was waiting for you to come in," He registers the look on my face with a smirk. "That smile for me?"
I roll my eyes and hand him the report as he walks to his desk.
He flips through the documents, eyes skimming the pages. His fingers move up and down the paper casually, rather than with purpose as he usually does.
I take that as a sign he's not too concerned with what's in them.
Let's see.
"Is your wound better now, sir?"
Dabi nods.  "Anything urgent on the agenda?"
I shake my head. "At 4pm, you just have-"
"Around midnight, I mean."
I blink.
"Midnight sir?"
He nods, looking up at me. "I've got a deal with a big client today. I'm taking you with me."
Tonight?! My heartrate rises.
"But sir..."
Dabi raises a brow. "What's wrong? Thought you'd be happy."
"Nothing I just..." I try to think of a lie. "Me and Al were planning on having a girl's night."
Dabi closes the folder. "Got it. I'll try and schedule you in advance next time then." He doesn't seem upset at all but I don't let it go.
"No! I mean, it's okay, you come first. I'm sure she'll understand."
"I'm going anyway, Rina. There'll be other opportunities for you to come along. I don't need you there, I just thought you'd wanna be better acquainted with business."
"I am," I insist. "I'll come with you. Al can wait."
Dabi tilts his head. "You say you two are friends but who'd rather hang out with their boss than your friend?"
"We've grown distant a bit since I've left NNTV," I tell him honestly.
Of course, there's more. But there was no way Dabi would stay silent if he found out. The problem is... would I have another chance to do what I was planning on doing tonight?
I bite my lip.
It's okay, I can still make it afterward.
If it takes too long, I'll tell Dabi I need to leave early.
But Dabi is already suspicious.
"Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to patch things up then?"
Why's he suddenly asking so many questions.
"Dabi-"
"Are you friends or not?"
"We are. I think. I just haven't been feeling it lately. I don't know, maybe it's because we haven't really spoken with each other in so long."
He stands up and steps closer to me, forcing me to take a step back. "I think there's more to it than that." He eyes me with amusement. "Why do those pretty eyes look scared?"
I blush and my back hits the wall.
Can he not change up on me so fast?
"I think you're keeping things from me, princess."
There's a playful smirk on his lips as he places his hand against the wall, leaning in closer. "What are we gonna do about that?"
"Look who's talking," I cross my arms.
"And here I thought I was making your day."
I feel his breath against my skin and it makes me grow bold.
"You tryna make me happy or something?" I tease gently. 
"If you'll make it worth my while." 
"How so? Big boy couldn't even handle a hug."
A deep chuckle comes out of Dabi's mouth.
"Let's see how much you can handle then, princess."
A fire dances in my stomach at his words. Where is this Dabi coming from? The casual flirting. The mischief in his eyes.
But before I can discover what he means, he pulls away from me, a fake serious expression on his face and adds: "Ah. When you don't have a girls night planned, that is."
There's a playful banter in his voice that I love.
It reminds me of the Dabi I first met.
Suddenly, I hear Atsuhiro behind the door.
"Dabi, we on for tonight?" He calls out.
Dabi's eyes flit from the door to me.
"Would ya look at that? Guess I'm having a boys night."
"No," I immediately frown. "You promised."
Dabi laughs. "Get out of here with that bullshit, I don't make promises."
"Dabi, we out? Or are you taking Jin today?" Atsuhiro knocks again.
"Now you do," I tell him seriously. "You've taken them before, it's my turn."
"Is it though?" He scratches his head. "I thought it was girls night."
Atsuhiro knocks harder. "Dabi, you there?"
"I won't speak to you again." I narrow my eyes. "That's a promise. You can't bring this up and then say no."
"Wait, wait let's get something straight, princess. I brought it up and you said no."
"Dabi!" I groan.
"Rina," He whines, mocking me.
Its strange seeing Dabi like this but it excites me.
More so that he won't let Atsuhiro in.
"You won't regret it," I whisper. "Promise."
He considers my words.
"You sure you want to come?"
"Yes!"
"What are you gonna tell your friend?"
"I'm working late."
"Bad girl." He shakes his head in mock disappointment. "I didn't take you for a liar."
"Guess you should know me better," I tilt my head, my lips curling at the hint in my tone.
"Careful now," His voice gets deeper when my fingers find his tie. "You know what happens when you get too close to fire?"
I remember the Dabi in the car, who pulled back as soon as I touched him, and this Dabi - who teases and pulls me close then pushes me away. I wonder what's different. What makes one come out or the other.
"Maybe I want to see what it'll do."
I don't miss the way Dabi's eyes darken.
But before he could respond, Atsuhiro bangs on the door.
"Hey boss, you-"
Dabi's grin falls.
"I'm not fucking taking you tonight!" Dabi growls at the door. "If I don't answer, I'm doing something, how about you calm the fuck down?" 
There's a pause at the door and then a low "Okay" that makes my heart clench.
Dabi turns back to me. "Now-"
"Wait now I feel bad," I look at the door. "It looks like he really wanted to go, why'd you have to say it like that?" I pout.
Dabi rolls his eyes and decides to pull sway completely. The mischief in his eyes is gone. Instead, there's a bored and slightly irritated expression. He goes and sits on the sofa, spreading himself out.
"Princess, I don't have time for this, are you coming or sh-"
"Yes, yes I'm coming."
"Then don't fucking worry about him."
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study4engineering · 6 years
Note
hello, hope you're having a good day. can i get any advice on how to fit a part time job (which is like a 7 hour shift) while taking a semester worth of 18 credit hours? that's honestly a heavy course load, where 3 of the courses I'm taking are labs and the rest are theory. not to brag but my gpa is currently excellent and I want to keep it that way, but I'm also financially going downhill and I won't have enough time to study the way I used to before if I go for the job :/
hey you :) Thank you first of all! My day was full of studying…I hate exam season but back to your problem :
First off all I’m happy for you and that you get good grades I don’t think it’s bragging !
I just assume that you study engineering in the US ( for everybody else I got a second message telling me the major ) ? As I’m from Germany I don’t know how many credit point you need for your undergrad/ Bachelor / whatever but I might tell you about my experiences first off all.
In Germany we need 180 cp to get the bachelor degree and I’m taking 24cp this semester ( I still have to take the exams ) That’s one class fewer than recommended /4 instead of 5 ) to get your degree in 3 years. But I don’t even try that. I will graduate in 7 or 8 semesters. I have to pay 300 Euros per year for the university. That’s it so it’s no big deal to me but I know in some countries education is extremely expensive. Next semester I work two jobs, this semester only one. My schedule is so structured that I have one complete day off from classes. On this day I go to the research center ( It belongs to the university ) and do my work at the lab. I wake up at 6.30am start working at 7.30 and go home at 2pm. After work I still have energy and time to study since I can work at my own peace and got no one who tells me what I need to do. I’m also allowed to (almost) not work at all through exam season since my boss once studied engineering herself and understands my lack of time. BUT I started with a 20h work per month contract to have enough time for studying so I usually leave work at 12.30am. I have still a lot of time for homework etc. I can only recommend to work at university/ research centers. The second job is giving tuition on campus. it’s right before or after my regular class so I don’t lose much study time. These kind of jobs are usually extremely well paid. You have to physically work 9h per month + answering emails and get paid for 30h.
I was really afraid that I won’t be able to work and to study. I wanted to do ta uition job earlier but you need extremely good grades so the university staff will ask you to work for them. Tbh I’m just average in regard of marks.
So after unnecessary stuff about myself (I’m sorry but I want to explain that I’m still human and need plenty of time to study like a lot of other people too). I have no magic formula but invest your time wisely. Search for the job that is best paid for the workload you do. In Germany it’s a thing to already work in companies that do engineering stuff as a student so you actually learn something while working and you already have work experience to show off. Sometimes they even hire you right away after you graduated because they already know you and your work so they don’t mind at all if you took longer to get your degree. I don’t know if it’s possible to you to take fewer classes aka graduating later but your education should stay your priority.  
Search for a job that gives you enough flexibility to adjust working to your schedule,
Try to work at times you know you wouldn’t be studying anyways
giving tuition ??
Start with a workload you know you can handle. Start little.
(if you have the choose ) start working at semester 3 or 4 maybe then you already got a hang of university and you can better judge your time management.
Try to be realistic but determined. It’s not about the amount of hours you study but how effectively you use them
To be honest : I wouldn’t work as a waitress. All my respect to you guys but this job is stressful and you sometimes have to work unexpected bc your coworker is ill.. It’s a freaking hard job and I probs wouldn’t be able to study that much if I had a job where people count on me like that. so
be picky ( if you have the possibility to be so). If you already feel like you sacrifice your education that job has to be freaking good )
Maybe I should make a more structured post about that soon with actual tips but I don’t want to let you wait even tho I’m done after a 9h marathon at the library.
Combing work and studying is something that still scares me sometimes but I just do it and if it’s too much to me, well then I have to stop working..
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