#so it Is stressful but not 10 people in the store at once levels of stressful

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №21 (3 WEEK ANNIVERSARY WOO)

Education edition!

1. The fault crew get magically teleported to high school. To everyone else they appear as perfectly normal, definitely human, high school age students. Except Phil, he's a professor. Oh also the red is temporarily disabled. They also get a note from me apologizing for sending them into random situations so much and the info that they'll be there for one school day and they'll be teleported back when they exit the school after the school day ends. They also have backpacks with their timetables and any other normal schools stuff they might need. What happens?

2. What would each character's favourite subject be? Why?

3. How much experience does each character actually have with school/the education system?

4. Would Tubbo having dyslexia imply that dyslexia is a condition that affects the soul and not the brain? Considering the fact that I don't think they.. have.. a brain. Can they even get brain damage? Or bruises (doesn't have blood).

5. What would each character be a teacher of if they had to be a teacher?

1.Well Tommy is having the best day of his life making friends and chatting and goofing off. Everyone else is losing their minds. I don’t imagine they’d participate willingly given a major lack of familiarity and general chaotic upheaval, but we’ll assume magic reinforcement. 

Phil is pulling his hair out trying to fake lectures on the fly, but is pretty good once he gets into it. Honestly one of the better substitutes the classes have gotten, given I’ve dealt with neonazi subs in the past. He’s fun and nice but can wrangle everyone enough that they aren’t just feral. Philza is unflappable to various hazing rituals, and somehow gets a class to enjoy a brief meditating session like one of my coworkers managed once. Still don’t know how she got 10 year olds to beg to meditate again…

Tubbo is desperately trying to find a wheel chair so they don’t have to explain the flying thing. And then kinda adores it since it’s so much easier to get around and they’re way less tired than normal since constantly flying on a skeleton crew gives very little time to rest. Unforchie living in the woods makes wheelchairs impractical due to the terrain. They keep going hella fast and accidentally running into walls and stuff. Though it’s probably an awful model that is uncomfortable after a few hours rip. Other than that, becomes THE person for school gossip. Literally knows all the dirt within hours. Cheats their way through all tests and work too because come on they’re an adult they’re not dealing with this bullmuffin. 

Wilbur is mentally dying. He only knows forbidden knowledge and has never done proper math before. Its only understanding of social convention is stuff picked up in crowds and stores, only brief interactions to avoid further attention. Doesn’t understand literally anything that’s happening, and ends up ditching class to try and hide until the school day is over (no concept of how long that is). Starts stress eating really bad. 

The Blade is somewhat shy at first given it’s a bunch of people he doesn’t know, but gets into it. He’s having fun preforming way above grade level and rubbing it in the face of children. But also uuhsghsja in person school is so long and requires consistent attention in a way that is hellish on the adhd. He misses college schedule flexibility and fewer number of hours. 

2.The Blade likes mythology bc he’s a nerd. And also the voices have scraps of information from the past sometimes. Wilbur likes theater because it’s his natural calling. Philza likes science because it keeps evolving all the time and is really funny to compare to previous human theories on how stuff works. Tommy likes art. He’s not like good but he has fun. Tubbo’s a philosophy guy since omg other people with ethics…

3.Wilbur: zilch. Nada. Never really considered how humans seem to know stuff while he’s had to puzzle everything out. Is jealous when it realizes people are just told how to operate and function in society when it had to learn the hard way. 

The Blade: online classes, skimmed through K-12 stuff and then attended proper college. A proud dual major. 

Tubbo: has gone through the school system twice, plus law school. I think Rosalind was like a psychology major but didn’t do anything with it. Jasmine was in year one, and Rhodes gave Tubbo informal schooling. 

Tommy: a high school dropout because the Foundation got him before he could graduate. Was planning to go to college but wasn’t sure what degree to get. 

Philza: a bunch of weird stuff over the millennia. Not stuff really geared towards children, but I figure he’s dipped in with various philosopher and academic circles. I suppose most recently would be Dr. Anderson rambling about his archeology work, since Phil was a big help on his thesis. 

4.Nah not a soul thing at all. Bees have brains. And also very importantly, 2 compound eyes with 6,000 lenses and three ocelli (primitive light receptor eyes). Now that is a lot of images, though a bee brain does combine them like how we combine our two fields of vision. Except, Tubbo also has approximately 1 million eyes when at the 200k population, most of which is not looking at only the words before them. Plus most of those eyes are very very small compared to the letters. This all makes it rather hard for them to read, which Rhodes interpreted as dyslexia.  

Also fun fact only the insectoid body’s eyes can see the color red, since (to my understanding) light operates differently at a small scale so insects operate lower on the light spectrum (ultra violet to orange). But the insectoid eyes are way bigger so they can have human range too. Though Tubbo tends to call things that for them are in the orange range red since obviously when Rhodes was looking at red stuff that’s what he taught them it was. So also partially color blind, or color+ given the ultra violet. 

Tubbo could get temporary brain damage should the majority of bees get brain damage (probably difficult without killing them). But give them a month and those bees will all be dead and replaced. Potentially could get bruise like injuries from internal damage to honey cells, but they’d probably eat the spilled honey. 

5.Phil is a welding teacher because fire and invention. He helps kids make swords and whatever they can think of since he wants to foster human innovation. He can’t be a history teacher because what he has experience with is very spotty and he’d probably argue with the official version of history so much that all his students fail testing.

Wilbur is a gym teacher. Everyday is leg day. It loves designing weird challenges and games and honestly half the kids probably hate it. He always beats them on the mile, definitely not one of those gym teachers that sits and watches the kids exercise. 

Assuming the orphan thing isn’t a problem, The Blade is an English teacher. Preferably for middle schoolers since they’d really vibe with his edgy humor. Everything he grades is always three months late. 

Tommy teaches graphic design. It’s stuff like editing silly videos and photoshop nonsense. It’s very easy to get him off topic to avoid working that class period. 

Tubbo covers home ec with an emphasis on stuff like gardening. They always seem to know when people are acting up, like eyes in the back of their head but a million times worse. 

[nedsseveredhead]

When you quit you should make a tiktok account sharing your “pro tips from an ex paint shop worker” and share how to do the paint mixing, stain stuff you’re good at, and like tips about pretty colors to request/that go together well. And I think you once posted about people stressing about whites and the light on it FOREVER ago and I learned it only matters in certain contexts (ex. Indoor painting vs exterior of a house) basically teach us all the secrets

Oh we dont gotta wait for my official last day, unfortunately theres no industry secrets when it comes to paint- atleast not on the sales floor level. But I can give some tips and stuff

1) Light colors will pull everything around them. So waiting last minute to pick your offwhite or grey or beige is a really bad idea. You need to bring a few chips home to see how they look in your lighting, because tinted paint is not returnable and you don't want to spend 90+ dollars on something you hate in this economy.

2) there is no True Grey. All greys (and all colors really) have a warm or cool cast. Warm casts are red, orange, and gold (think fire) and cool casts are blue, green, purple (think water). Most people think of cool greys when they think of grey, but thats why its turning blue on you in some lighting.

3) general rule of thumb is artificial light has a blue cast and natural light has an orange cast. So if you buy a cool gray and its turning out too blue, try grabbing a warm grey and see how that turns out.

4) All latex paint is paint and primer in one. All that means is over a previously painted surface, you do two coats (a "primer coat" and a "finish coat".) If you're going over something like drywall its more cost effective just to get primer, cause otherwise you will have to do more than two coats because drywall is unsealed and the paint sinks in. If youre doing something like tile or cabinets- any kind of shiney surface, you need to both lightly sand and use a special bonding primer.

5) Do not use oil paint if you can help it. Its already stopped production in Cali and New York but its slowly leaving the industry and in a year when you need to touch up something youre gonna have to do a lot more than you bargained for when you cant get oil paint anymore. Just get the latex now. Paints come a long way, its fine.

6) flat for ceilings. Yes even in bathrooms. Just make sure the ceiling paint you have is anti microbial. It usually is. And on that note, buy ceiling paint. Not wall paint. Save your wallet, unless youre making some kind of grand ceiling art, no ones looking up there and you dont need anything fancy.

7) when possible, just use extra white. Thats the white straight out of the can. Itll make touch up in the future much easier if its just something you can grab off the shelf.

8) tint mixes different than paint. We can always darken colors but never lighten. Thats because white tint doesnt lighten, its a place holder. Its all additive.

9) almost all the colors on the wall, but especially all greys and beiges and whites, are made of black, maroon, and deep gold. And that formula doesnt mean what youd think it means instinctively.

10) speaking of formulas, stain matches are.... Complicated. Temper your expectations now. If you want a stain match you need to bring in a piece of wood ur matching, a scrap piece ur staining, and we need time. Its all done by eye, and even the most trained at it need time to see how the wood takes the stain. I wish i could give advice on how to make these easier but its very much a you just have to do them a long time and eventually you learn to intuit it. Just be nice to the people doing ur stain match and plan atleast three days for them to do it.

11) when you come in and say you need paint, we are going to ask four things: what color, which kind, what sheen, and what account are we putting it on. Be prepared to answer these questions.

12) when it comes to picking a color, find the whitest surface you can (most Sherman Billiams stores have to have a bright white table by the color wall), and lay your colors on there. It helps find what under tones it has. Trust YOUR eye. Everyones cones n rods n whatever are different. Youre the one who has to live there and see it every day, and the person behind the counter both doesnt care and also can not pick colors for you.

13) Sherman has sales more often than they dont. If they just came off one, wait a week. 40% sales happen, usually, four times a year (this year theres been an ungodly amount tho so like who knows). If youre in a "paint emergency" and theres no sale, there is ALWAYS a ten dollar off fifty coupon online. Most stores have it behind the counter but if the manager is particularly stingy about budget they might not be allowrd to use it so just have it on ur phone.

14) if youve caught the tail end of a sale but you havnt decided a color yet, you can buy paint untinted and bring it in to tint for free later. You can also return untinted paint if you dont use it.

Thats all i can think of atm?? But idk if u have questions feel free to ask Ill answer if i can lmao

[turtlesandfrogs]

Things I like about self employment:

Ostensibly setting my own schedule (realistically I'm too much of a people pleaser and need to actually give myself weekends)

Huge variety of work

Get to do work for people who can't afford the more expensive options

Don't have to do things that I think are stupid just because my boss thinks that's a good idea

Things I do not like:

the seasonality of yard care

I have to do a lot of phone calls, texts, and emails.

Scheduling

I have to decide when it's too hot, too cold, too dark, or too smoky & to hot to work

Having a limited number of clients and having to juggle between having too many clients during the busy times and not enough work during the slow times

Things I like about being an employee:

I show up and start thinking about the job, I clock out and stop thinking about the job

I don't have to do any client communication or scheduling

They paid for awesome rain gear

My bosses are actually like, good humans and they also hav ADHD, so my stress levels are the lowest they've been since I was like, 16

They have to offer me work time even when it's the dead of winter and there's nothing to do, mwha-ha-ha!!!

Things I do not like about being an employee:

40 hour work week. Bleh.

Not convinced that putting in pretty gardens for rich people (seriously, each garden we do cost usually between 1 and 4 times my yearly income) is actually in line with my values regarding sustainability and making the world a better place.

The work is much less varied

We occasionally work for people who are blatant about seeing us as "the help"

That one lady

Occasionally have to do very stupid things, like digging up an established (though small- about 10 feet tall) maple tree and moving it 6 feet for aesthetic reasons. Like, yeah, I get it, it does look more whatever over there but damn. Really?

In contrast, things I think I will like about running a plant nursery that focuses on native plants, herbs, and plants from similar climatic zones:

setting my own schedule and making sure I have weekends

Huge variety of plants that I think make the world better for existing

Get to grow plants both for gardening enthusiasts and landscapers, so interacting with passionate people all the time AND meaningfully increasing habitat for native animals.

Don't have to do anything I think is stupid

Still seasonal, but options for indoor work!!!

No scheduling with other people, they gotta come when the stores open

Less communications work

Things I won't like:

will be thinking about the plants/job a lot during non-paid hours because that's how I am

Plastic, but I think I have a way to make sure I'm not generating more, just using stuff that already exists

I will probably be stressed about the growth of the plants both while I have them and once they've left my hands

Lots of people with lots of opinons about how I'm doing things wrong

[academicelephant]

Some study advice from a second-year education student (who struggled with her studies in the first year and knows how tricky studying can sometimes be)

I know the academic year has already started, but here are a few tips to make your university studies easier. Lets start with some basics: if you can't concentrate, learning is difficult, which is why it's smart to modify your environment in such a way that it supports concentration. Therefore study in a distraction-free place, turn off your phone while studying and get rid of other factors hindering your concentration such as uncomfortable clothes or hunger.

The key to success is planning, and creating some studying routines. Study at least a few, preferably 5 to 7 hours every day (if you are a full-time student) and make sure you have breaks during the day! Depending on how you manage to concentrate, you can study 30 to 75 minutes at once and then take a 10 to 20 minutes break. During the day, it's good to go outside, for a short walk for example. It doesn't have to last longer than the break, 10 to 20 minutes is enough, as long as you get some fresh air and exercise. This is important because then your brain gets to rest and exercising, especially if done outside, reduces stress, which in turn promotes learning.

It is important that you find the time that works the best for you to study (in case you don't have a lot of lectures and can choose when to study). For me, it is between 9 and 11 am. For the majority of people, the forenoon is the most effective study time because that's when people typically have the highest level of alertness according to human biological internal clock. Studying late at night is not worth it because your body is getting ready to go to sleep and would no longer want to learn anything new. In the evening, it's best to put school stuff aside and relax, so that you can get enough (7 to 9 hours) of good-quality sleep. If you sleep poorly or too little, your brain cannot store all you learned the previous day and cannot receive much of new information.

Also don't leave things to the last minute, ever. You should start reading the course materials as soon as the course starts and divide it so that you can read everything before the exam. Learning is most effective when you have time for thinking. If you don't process the information you read or heard, it won't stick in your mind. Therefore skimming though the course materials on the last day before the exam is not effective. By the way, making your own notes or concept maps is a good idea: that way you can organize the content in a way that works for you. Then it is easier to remember. Furthermore, focus on understanding the whole rather than the details because if you understand the whole, the details will follow (note that it doesn’t work vice versa!).

If studying feels burdensome, as it sometimes may, lean on your friends or family. Studying with friends is often more motivating than studying alone because it gives a chance for positive social interaction and creates a feeling of social cohesion; friends can share thoughts and feelings concerning studying (and life in general). However, if the support received from them is not enough, you can talk to your teachers or go to a study psychologist. Your university may also have other study and mental health support services, of which you can get information from study counselor and other staff. Remember that neither your academic performance nor you as a person has to be perfect: good enough is enough!

[introspectral]

What's Vision's daily routine?

{out of directives} The first this Vision does in the morning when he "wakes up" is run system checks on himself. He's a lot more paranoid and traumatized now about having his body messed around with without his permission, having his databanks altered or access to them changed, or having unwanted additions like trackers or overrides installed without his knowledge. So first things first, once his mental and metabolic capabilities are ramped up to a normal active level after being slowed overnight, Vision will run diagnostic checks on his major bodily structures/functions and his CPU.

For his body, he'll check for any damages, alterations, or system stresses/failures. Early on, this is a pretty fast and simple task (maybe 5-10 minutes), but as he delves deeper into the memories of his previous life and how he had developed more complex internal systems for himself (digestive, reproductive, etc.), he will want to once again develop those for himself. All the research he did and everything physically that he altered about himself to evolve those systems is stored in his databanks, so all he has to do is follow the same procedure. It still likely takes a few weeks to months for him to completely alter his body to its previous evolved form. Once he does that, there are more structures, processes, and potential points of failure to check, so his somatic diagnostic tests will likely run closer to 15-20 minutes.

For his mind, he'll check his data files - especially those involving memory and anything else that he'd previously lost access to - for viruses, corruption, foreign data, or any sign that something has been altered, removed, or restricted since his last check, as well as making sure his main power source and processing capabilities are functioning at peak capacity. Vision has amazingly powerful and efficient processing power, so a full scan of power, processing, storage, and mental capabilities takes only about 5-7 minutes.

Vision doesn't like to be disturbed while he performs his morning checks. He likes to just be alone with himself to make sure everything is functioning at peak capacity and as it ought to be, before he interacts with anyone or goes about his day. This is for his own peace of mind and frankly to gain back a sense of control over his own mind and body that he felt was taken from him by SWORD's actions. All in all, it's usually about a half hour before he's ready to go. After that, it depends on where Vision is, what stage of his recovery and soul-searching process he's at, and who he might be living with.

If he's living with someone, he will probably seek them out, see how they're doing, see what they want to do today. If it's someone he previous didn't know, he would spend time with them to learn more about them, ask them why they're helping him, ask them what their plans for the future are, etc. If it's someone he does know from his past (e.g. another Avenger or associate), he will likely spend a good portion of the day picking their brain for information on why all of this was allowed to happen to him, what happened to various other people he remembers, and what their plans are now. If it's Wanda, the majority of his day will be spent trying to repair their relationship, wherever it's going to settle now. Whether friends or lovers, it would be important to Vision to repair things and support her as much as possible while also working on his own emotional recovery.

If it's early on after he left Westview and he's alone, he'd probably spend time considering any number of things, such as where to go, what to do with himself, who he truly is, who he wants to be, what actions should be taken against those who wronged him, etc. He's likely to do that in a solitary yet peaceful place, such as a mountain or forest. Aside from giving himself ample time to sort out his thoughts, Vision will just be curious about himself and the world, as he was before. If left to his own devices, a good part of his day will be spent in either introspection or outward exploration of his environment. If he's developed a digestive system, some of his day might be spent cooking, eating, and/or drinking.

At the end of the day, there are a few things Vision likes to do before he rests for the night. Going outside and listening to the sounds of the forest/city he's living in, watching the stars for a bit, and/or winding down with anyone he might be living with are common occurrences. If he's redeveloped his digestive system, he does like a cup of hot tea before bed. No milk or sugar, just tea. His favorite types are natural vanilla bean, chamomile, and orange pekoe. Caffeine doesn't have much of an effect on him, so he doesn't have to care about what he drinks before he rests.

[myulmahng]

teamfight tactics (tft): a beginner's guide for stays

chan has been having fun playing tft during his lives recently and i know a lot of stays are unfamiliar with it so i wanted to put together something in case people wanted to understand the game a bit! also basically everything i know about tft is just from watching streams or videos about it so this guide is super simple and won't explain how to play or win 😅

first is to clear up that tft is different from league of legends! it's a spinoff game made from the same company (riot) and the champions in tft are from lol. since they're both under riot, you use the same account to play both tft and lol

you can play either on pc or mobile. chan has mentioned he plays on mobile (when he was saying he never even uses the chat function since he plays on his phone).

the basic premise of tft is that you create a team of champions (aka units) and fight 7 other people's teams. you start with one unit and can level up to put more on the playing board.

this is the starting carousel to choose your first champion, which also comes with an item. this picture only has one player, but normally there are 8! (so all of skz can play together haha)

this is an example of what the board looks like on mobile! there are a bunch of things on it, but i've labelled the ones most important to know. the pc version is similar, but has even more info displayed on the screen at once

tft is an auto-battler game which means you just place the units on the board and you don't control them while they fight. the main things you can control are:

1. what units you have

2. what items you put on each unit

3. placement of units

when choosing your units, there are different synergies you can create based on the type of unit and these will give you things like extra speed, damage protection, etc. on the side of the screen, you can see how many units are needed to get the benefit of the synergy

there's a store to buy different units. if they don't have the units you're looking for, you can use gold to reroll and change the units available. you can also buy xp to level up and put more units on the board (normally your level corresponds to the number of units you can put on, so level 1 means you can have 1 unit, etc). units can either be 1, 2, or 3 star (3 is the strongest) and you can level them up by buying more of them. three 1 star units of the same champion will combine to make a 2 star unit, and three 2 star units will combine to make a 3 star unit. this screenshot shows the pc version of the store.

next are the items you can put on the units. they have a lot of items and you an also combine them to create better items!

once you have the units you want and any items on them, it's important to position the units. some units are better for close combat or defense and some for long range.

before each round, there's time to move units around, buy more, and put on items. then the combat round starts and you pray your team does well, then celebrate if they win and cry if they lose

at the start of the game, each player has 100 hp. when they lose a fight, they'll lose a certain amount of hp depending on the damage dealt and how many enemy units are still alive. at 0 hp, you're out of the game. after each round, you can see who won ✅️ and who lost ❎️

there's also strategies for win or loss streaking bc you will get more gold after each round for consecutive wins/losses. also if you have certain amounts of gold (based on increments of 10) then you get interest and can earn even more gold

tft is super complicated and requires a lot of strategy and knowledge so i consider chan a big nerd (affectionate) to have platinum ranking and play it for stress relief. i'm so glad he was able to get his account back and i've been having a lot of fun watching him play it!

anyway that concludes my very bad and very simplified guide on tft basics! there is lots that i didn't mention and also lots i don't know so i'm sorry if i got anything wrong and feel free to correct me

[zapgraptrash]

1) What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/restaurant) Masuyo – I just spent ages trying to like find something Safe that they’d order every time they were somewhere that does Not have Japanese things. I can’t really pin down something specific but it WOULD be something specific. Something strong, probably a whiskey. If there ARE Japanese drinks available they would actually take more time to decide on something rather than just getting something safe and easy. I feel like they’d like melon flavoured drinks

2) What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private) Ricky – she spends the most time on picking out a hat (if not at work). She wouldn’t spend like hours getting ready before going out but she would make sure that she looks impressive, or at the very least just noticeable. In private though she’ll just wear pyjamas all day if she can. If there is nobody to see then it’s not important to spend all the effort on looking presentable. The guinea pigs won’t care lol.

3) What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time) Zapper – guaranteed his bike(s) are the only thing he’s ever spent a lot of money at once on, he will never just drop a load of money on anything. Even the bike took saving and planning and negotiating lol. He’s one of those people who will put 10% of every paycheck into savings immediately. Most of his disposable income probably goes on things like gardening supplies or fuckin. Cleaning supplies. Or bike maintenance. And maybe committing to the bit of annoying Grappler.

4) Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory)  Dom – her standard issue tattoo is right in the middle of her chest just because. I don’t think she’d be bothered about getting any others, maybe covering that one up with something post-trashland. But she is always covered in like, small burns and scars and shit because that happens when you like to play with fire and explosives.

5) What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.)  Slyger – slyger cries most often when he’s stressed. So it was probably recently. He makes everything out to be really high stakes so it could be literally anything lol. His pc keeps crashing because skyrim has too many mods loaded. He can’t find that ONE type of salmon at the store but he KNOWS they have it. He wants to watch the new episode of the telenovela he's obsessed with but REALLY wants to watch it live and probably won’t get home in time.

6) Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.) Jeffrey – he’s an only child of a single parent who put like All her stakes on him. Has to live up to super specific ideals and if not You Are Making Me Look Bad In Front Of The Rest Of The (surprisingly large) Family. Like this is only his mother’s side of the family too, he has cousins and second cousins all over the place. He might have some half siblings from his dad but he’ll probably never know I guess!

7) Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.) Thaddeus – they’re good quality leather biker boots with a bunch of decorative buckles. He spent a Lot on them and they’ll last ages, unlike the boots he used to get which were like ok but they wore out really easily and he Had to replace them because it’d fuck up his prosthetic foot otherwise. Before he lost his foot he’d just wear shoes until they disintegrated.

8) Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.) Granox – if slyger wasn’t around to decorate and such there wouldn’t be that much around, mostly just one or two cool things he found on the ground. Also it’d just be a mattress. Because he keeps accidentally breaking bedframes by jumping onto them and not realising how fucking dense and strong he is. Funnily enough though he actually keeps the bed made way more than slyger does. So long as it’s comfy enough he can sleep, he doesn’t Need much else.

9) What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.)  Grappler – Valentine’s Day because it’s the easiest day of the year to have sex (hooking up with other single people whilst single)/easiest day of the year to commit to the bit of annoying Zapper while also being genuine about it. But also boning Zapper. It’s like a whole day where the “objective” is to show affection to your partner and tbh that is how he thinks he shows affection the best. His least favourite day is Veterans day/memorial day because he just (correctly) associates them with his dad and the US fucking around in southeast asia/his dad treating his mum as a trophy wife. He probably doesn’t like have the ability to articulate WHY he hates them so much, but his default answer is that it’s a scam that vets get 2 holidays for being pieces of shit.

10) What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.)  Vilius – she always has cigs, a lighter and a taser on her. maybe a knife too. Probably operates off cartoon logic since I never draw her with pockets or a bag lmao. But like she almost always has a fuckin glass of wine or something on hand. If she’s not like, inside where there are glasses to pour booze into she probably has one of those tiny little bottles of something. This is fine.jpg

[wateractually]

Long post at 5am because fuck it brain says make the post

Fatphobia warning

I'm absolutely fucking exhausted of people seeing fat positive images and continuing the rhetoric that fatness is a moral or behavioral failing and not most often genetic. I see daily tons of responses to body positivity along the lines of "we shouldn't support unhealthy lifestyles" or other fucking nonsense. And they'll double down when presented correct information such as "body type is mostly determined by ones genes" and "there are loads of thin people who eat poorly and are sedentary" by claiming those statements are untrue even when they're clearly true.

I'm absolutely exhausted by them pointing to rare cases of fat people losing weight (generally via starvation with or without surgery) without acknowledging that is the vast majority of those cases those same people regained the weight (and often more) because their bodies said "man it's a good thing we had all that reserved food, now that we're eating properly again let's work on building it up again!" because their nerves and brain are fucking traumatized by the starvation.

What kind of fucking dystopia do we live in that if someone is unable to lose weight even with guided nutrition and exercise (and often also medication), the next suggestion is medically approved starvation (lap-band surgery) or just cutting out the fat from the body??? Instead of just acknowledging that sometimes people are fat, and can be healthy at the same time!!

And like. Literally I think of my friends who were so thin they were considered medically underweight who definitely did not exercise and ate loads of "unhealthy" foods never once dealing with the shit we fat people deal with. I think of my friends who are 400+ lbs and struggle to find clothes even in plus size stores whose diets are monitored and regulated like a diabetic's, who exercise 1-3 hours a day every day, and who are frequently told by doctors that they should lose weight before they'll consider their medical symptoms a concern. I think of Olympians for weight lifting, shot put, and other strength-based competitions who are decidedly fat and also some of the healthiest people on the planet.

I think of growing up being considered a fat kid and really not noticing how fucking thin I got in HS (due to stress) until I looked back on pictures 10+ years later. And the crazy thing is, even though I was thin enough to wear a US women's size 4 and an XS at fucking Hot Topic:

I was still considered medically overweight. I was still told by medical professionals that my chronic pain was caused by my weight (even though they had done all of 0 tests to say otherwise). I was as thin as ever and let me tell you: my diet was no different. My activity level was no different. My sleep was piss poor, chronic insomnia and maybe getting 10 hours of sleep per week. My mental health was declining fast, and it started pretty fucking bad. And my body hurt. It still hurts, 13 years later.

Maybe fucking listen to fat people when we say that body weight is independent of overall health. Listen when we tell you that if chronically dehydrated body builders, super sedentary thin people, and all other ""accepted"" unhealthy people can be considered beautiful and worthy despite being unhealthy, then so can fat people.

We're just trying to exist.

[pablice]

10 Minute Morning Yoga Routine for Beginners Over 40 to Lose Weight

Benefits of Yoga for People Over 40 Yoga is absolutely beneficial for people over 40. It helps to stretch and strengthen muscles, reducing joint pain and increasing flexibility. Additionally, it has been shown to lower blood pressure and improve cardiovascular function. Yoga can also be used to improve physical balance. Balance plays a key role in daily activities like getting out of bed, standing up from a chair, and walking up or down stairs. Better balance can also reduce the risk of falls, one of the leading causes of serious injury or death in the elderly. Along with improved physical balance, yoga also can promote emotional balance and regulate stress levels. Types of Yoga for Weight Loss Yoga can be an effective way to lose weight in those over 40. Through increased flexibility and strength, yoga can help to boost your metabolism and burn calories more efficiently. There are different types of yoga such as Vinyasa, Hatha, and Kundalini. Each type of yoga has its own benefits, so understanding which type may help you the most on your weight loss journey is important. Vinyasa yoga is a sequence of poses designed to create a calming, pulled sensation. It combines breath and movement in order to develop strength and balance. This type of yoga is ideal for those looking to lose weight. Hatha yoga is a more gentle form of yoga. It is slow-paced and designed to provide a slow, relaxing burn. It focuses on stretches and poses that can be held for a longer period of time. Kundalini yoga is a type of yoga that focuses on meditation, pranayama, and physical postures. It is meant to awaken the body’s energy, also known as the kundalini, and is ideal for those looking to connect with their spiritual side while still working on weight-loss. Preparing for a 10-Minute Morning Yoga Routine It is important to be properly prepared before undertaking a 10-minute morning yoga routine. It's recommended to set up a comfortable space by laying down a yoga mat, designating a spot to store any props, and ensuring that you won't be disturbed during your practice. Allocating a specific area to practice will also allow you to create a consistent environment and routine, making your yoga practice that much more effective and invigorating. Ideally, you should arrive 5-15 minutes before your designated yoga practice to allow yourself time to breathe, meditate, relax, and get into the mindset that will set you up for a great practice. Take some time to set an intention for the practice and become mindful of your breath to ensure that your body and mind are in sync and ready for the upcoming session. Understanding Modifications and Props Yoga can be a great way to improve physical and mental wellbeing, especially for people over 40 years old. In order to make the practice as beneficial as possible, it is important to understand how to modify certain yoga poses and use props effectively. Some popular modifications are the half-downward dog, kneel-down warrior, and a chair twist. Finding the right modification for an exercise can be key in getting the most out of the pose. Props can also help reduce the strain on certain body parts, such as using blocks and straps for support. Understanding how to modify poses and use props properly can help ensure that the practice is both safe and as beneficial as possible. Warm Up Exercises for a 10 Minute Yoga Routine Once you are ready to start your 10-minute yoga routine, it's important to begin with some warm-up exercises. These exercises allow your muscles to loosen up, increasing flexibility and helping to prevent injury. Some easy warm-up exercises you can do include neck circles, arm circles, shoulder rolls, and torso twists. For neck circles, slowly move your head in a circle, moving counter-clockwise for seven rotations and then continuing clockwise for seven more rotations. When doing arm circles, keep your arms parallel to the floor and slowly move your arms in a circle. The shoulder rolls can be done by rolling both shoulders forward in a circular motion in a slow and controlled manner. Finally, torso twists can be completed while seated in a chair. Twist your torso to one side, hold for 10 seconds, and then repeat on the other side. Doing these exercises will help ensure that your body is warm and ready for the 10-minute yoga routine ahead. Common Postures for a 10 Minute Yoga Routine Yoga is a great way to stay in shape and maintain health and wellness into your 40s and beyond. There are a variety of poses that can be done in a 10 minute yoga routine that can help people over 40 increase their flexibility and strength. Routine postures in a 10 minute yoga session can help to stretch and strengthen the body's core muscles, which are vital for overall health and wellness. Some of the basic postures for a 10 minute yoga routine can include Cat/Cow, Standing Forward Fold, Downward Facing Dog, Half Moon, Leg Lifts, and Lizard pose. Each posture has its own benefits for toning and strengthening the body. Understanding which postures work best for your body can help to make your 10 minute yoga routine more effective and enjoyable. Taking the time to focus on the form and movements of each pose can ensure that the most is being achieved in the short 10 minutes allocated for the practice. Breathing Exercises for a 10 Minute Yoga Routine The practice of breathwork, also known as pranayama, is an integral part of any yoga practice. Yogic breathing exercises can help to improve the range and efficiency of your breath, as well as enhance relaxation and concentration. There are a variety of breathing exercises you can practice as part of a 10 minute yoga routine. Ujjayi, Ocean or Victorious Breath is a breathing exercise practiced in a seated position. It helps to increase awareness of the body, while calming the nervous system. Place your hands over your abdomen and inhale through your nose deeply, filling up your lungs and expanding your belly. Make a low soft sound like the ocean waves in your throat as you exhale with a steady steady stream. This breathing exercise can be practiced for a few minutes to begin your yoga practice or to relax the mind and body. Nadi Shodhana, Alternate Nostril Breathing, is another common pranayama exercise. It helps to bring a state of balance to the body and mind. Begin by sitting in a comfortable seated position. Gently place your right index and middle finger of your right hand between your eyebrows, and your thumb and fourth finger on your right nostril. Inhale slowly and deeply through the left nostril. Close the left nostril, and release the right nostril to exhale slowly. Follow this same pattern, alternating nostrils for a few minutes. Cool Down Exercises for a 10 Minute Yoga Routine Once a yoga routine is completed, it is important to provide the body with some cool down exercises. Cool down exercises allow the body to transition from active to a more relaxed, resting state. Cat-cow, bridge pose, and child’s pose are the most commonly used cool down poses. Cat-cow is a postural stretching exercise involving smooth, fluid movements of the spine that can be done while seated or standing. This pose works to provide the spine with stretching, lengthening, and strengthening as the spine moves throughout its entire range of motion. Bridge pose helps to open the chest and abdomen as well as provide some lengthening and relaxation to the lower back and hips. The final pose is child’s pose that works to stretch and relax the shoulders, lower back, and neck. Child’s pose works to bring the mind and body into a calm, peaceful state as will. What are the benefits of yoga for people over 40? Yoga can help people over 40 improve their physical fitness, flexibility, and balance. It can help reduce stress levels and can help to improve sleep. Yoga can also help to boost energy levels and strengthen the core. What types of yoga are best for weight loss? Power yoga, Ashtanga yoga, and Vinyasa yoga are some of the best types of yoga for weight loss. These are all high-intensity styles of yoga that involve lots of movement and can help to burn calories and build muscle. What should I do to prepare for a 10-minute morning yoga routine? Firstly, make sure that you have a comfortable space where you can practice yoga without any distraction. Also, set aside 10 minutes each day to dedicate to your yoga practice. Finally, choose a type of yoga that works best for you and your goals. What modifications and props should I use for a 10 minute yoga routine? If you are just starting out with yoga, it is important to use modifications and props to help you get into the correct form. Consider using a yoga block or strap to help you reach certain poses. You can also use a bolster or blanket for added support. What warm up exercises are best for a 10 minute yoga routine? Warm up exercises are important to prepare your body for the poses you will be doing in your yoga routine. Some good warm up exercises include cat-cow, neck rolls, forward folds, and mountain pose. What are some common postures for a 10 minute yoga routine? Sun salutations are a great way to start any yoga routine and can be done in 10 minutes. Other common postures for a 10-minute yoga routine include warrior II, downward-facing dog, triangle, and bridge. What breathing exercises should I include in a 10 minute yoga routine? Breathing exercises are an important part of yoga, as they can help to relax the body and mind. Consider doing alternate nostril breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, and Ujjai breathing during your 10 minute yoga routine. What cool down exercises are best for a 10 minute yoga routine? Cool down exercises are important to help relax the body after a yoga routine. Some cool down exercises to consider include supine twist, shoulder openers, and child’s pose. Additionally, you can always take a few minutes to lie in savasana (corpse pose). Read the full article

[tintinntabuli]

Your Logo Here: A Letter from the Midwest

July 10, 2023

Cincinnati, OH

Dear Marianne,

Well, we’ve hit the dog days here in the Midwest. Two key indicators they’ve arrived: everyone is surly all the time and Big Gulps go off sale. Hell, maybe the two are related. I don’t know.

Me? Despite paying more for my Big Gulps, I’ve fallen into a state of calm I don’t often see. What I should say, I guess, is I’m in a state of calm Michele doesn’t often see. I’m usually not paying that much attention to myself, whether I’m calm or unhinged. Actually, I sometimes do notice when I’m not unhinged. It’s notable. And I will say this–to coin a phrase you’re fond of–in defense of unhinged, at least unhinged is 100% honest 100% of the time. Nobody, me included, fakes unhinged. Except in movies. And on 24/7 cable news.

I credit my current state of calm to a pair of things. First, the Reds are arguably the best team in baseball and inarguably the coolest, which is how it is supposed to be. And, second, I finished the great, big talk that for a year or two felt like the thing my whole life was leading up to. It went pretty well and now it feels like my life has maybe culminated since I’m no longer working towards this big thing. Now it’s kind of like I’m being stretchered away from it. But I know me. It won’t be long before I’m bored and once again working on something big, although I think the next “something big” might be several smaller bits. Which, of course, if assembled together, will become something huge! Stay tuned, I guess.

But the whole trip and the talk went well. The closing keynote at the International Master Gardeners Conference in Overland Park, KS. Totally my kind of audience. A big room packed with a thousand people, none of whom got out much over the past three years and therefore had unknowingly lowered their standards on what an entertaining and informational talk should be. Got a few big laughs at jokes I thought would go over well. Nothing lifts me like a big laugh rolling through a big hall.

That said, you know what else feels pretty good? No talks on the docket for a couple of months. I love doing them but they do stress me out. And the travel. And the getting behind in everything else. But the garden never fell too far behind and now it feels kind of caught up. Hence, enough calm to go to a baseball game. Or to watch one on TV. Or do nothing at all. Feels weird. Feels nice. Feels like it can’t go on for too much longer.

Another big lift: we finally finished the application and the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden got Level IV Arbnet accreditation. Only Zoo in the world which can claim that! News of that came on the same day we picked our first tomato.

We went to a Reds game. It was sold out. I spoke for the International Master Gardeners Conference in Kansas. It was sold out too. We had a great time there. Hosted by literally some of the nicest people on Earth.

But the calm I’ve been enjoying has been somewhat offset by some very bad pain and suffering. Sciatica. Which I’ve had before. Bullwhip sharp pain down one leg until you can hobble to a shoe store, get a new pair of shoes, and, voila, it’s gone and I’m normal. But this time it’s different. First, prolonged, no matter what shoes I wear. It feels like my vertebrae are pinching off my spinal cord, much like what I do when I kink a hose to stop the water so I can change from a nozzle to a sprinkler without having to walk all the way back to the spigot. Because walking is electric shock agony down the back of both legs. Marianne, for weeks now, this has been my experience. I’ve been lurching around my garden like some kind of monster washing ashore from a filthy lagoon. And, yes, I can hear what the neighbors are saying and it’s not very nice.

Lilies are getting all the attention in the garden right now. Even if you don’t see them, which you will, but even if you don’t, it’s like the air is candy. Just so you know, I indeed realize that it’s a lily in the foreground and a daylily, an unrelated species, in the background. I also know that Myanmar was formerly known as Burma.

But, what am I doing? Instead of dwelling on me, I guess I should respond to your letter. But I won’t. I’m way more interested in your Rant post that–if it should go viral enough–might bring down capitalism. Your anti-influencer blog. At your age, and your place in life, I understand your point of view completely. Especially in tandem with your letter, which was sort of like getting cluster bombed by fun, happiness, and good fortune. You must understand. I’m older than you. And not so rich. And no longer good-looking like I once was. Marianne, I have fewer years–none of which could be described as potentially “quality years”–to live. So, what I’m thinking is I’ve got to go for whatever I can and I’ve got to do it now. Therefore, yeah, I’m going to become an influencer. Or die trying.

I mean it.

So I wrote it on my calendar to walk down to the libray on Thursday and check out a book on how to become an influencer. Or, who knows, maybe I’ll splurge and go to a bookstore and buy one. And, then, once I’ve read it a couple times, I’ll go for it. Hard. Head on! I actually practiced some selfies today. I based my poses on the daily dribble of profile pictures I get from young women who–out of the blue–choose to become new Instagram followers of me. They especially like to do this pursed lips, pouty thing. I don’t know why. But they all do it, and, you know, if it’s working for them… Anyway, I have no idea who all these women are or how they’ve heard about me, but, gosh, maybe I’m practically an influencer already!

But don’t worry. I won’t forget about you when I’m famous. Especially if you help me pick out my best selfies. Which are the sexiest? I can’t decide.

The pursed lips, pouty look. The standard, apparently. Getting a little daring with an off the shoulder look. Showing the world how I look with a product. As if I have to just come right out and say it! I’ll fix the sign for future posts. So you don’t have to read it backwards, it says, “If you paid me money, your LOGO would be right here. Although I definitely need to work on some things, I see sponsors coming out of the woodwork!

Sorry the letter is so short. The sciatica is so bad it even hurts when I type.

Scott

Grandbaby Celina is eating solid food now. I think she has influencer potential too!

Your Logo Here: A Letter from the Midwest originally appeared on GardenRant on July 15, 2023.

The post Your Logo Here: A Letter from the Midwest appeared first on GardenRant.

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[diabeteshelpingout]

How to Control and Manage Diabetes

Diabetes can affect anyone, and it does, in large numbers that are rapidly expanding. Diabetes is a chronic, often debilitating, and occasionally fatal disease in which the body cannot generate or properly use insulin, resulting in high blood glucose, or blood sugar levels.

Here you will find comprehensive diabetic information.

Diabetes is majorly divided into three types:

In type 1, the body does not make insulin at all.

In type 2, the body fails to produce or utilize insulin effectively. This is the most common type of diabetes.

Women can experience spikes in their blood glucose levels during pregnancy. This is known as gestational diabetes. It usually goes away after the delivery.

You've probably heard someone say they have "a hint of diabetes" or their "sugar is a little high." These words imply that diabetes is not a serious illness. That is not the case. Diabetes is a serious disease, but it is manageable.

Diabetes patients must make healthy food choices, maintain a healthy weight, exercise more frequently, and take their medication even when they feel well.

Why is it essential to manage and control diabetes?

Taking care of your blood sugar is essential for overall health and well-being, regardless of the type of diabetes you have. Controlling your blood sugar lowers your risk of complications and, in the case of gestational diabetes, avoids complications for both you and your baby.

Learn More About Diabetes

Learn how to manage your diabetes by meeting with a trained diabetes educator. They are diabetic specialists who can help with day-to-day details such as:

Keeping track of your blood sugar

What should you eat?

On sick days, how to manage your diabetes

Other diabetic self-care options

Use a Glucometer to Monitor Regularly

Learn about the latest blood glucose metres, continuous glucose monitors, insulin pumps, smartphone apps, and other diabetes-management technology. You can use BeatO Curv Smartphone Glucometer to monitor, manage and control diabetes with experts. Connect the glucometer with your phone and see your data and all your health records in one place.

Eat a Balanced and Nutritious Diet

Read labels at the grocery store and make sure your meal plan includes fruits and vegetables. Carbohydrate counting is a simple meal planning technique that allows you to have your favourite foods. When reading labels, pay attention to the Total Carbohydrate line and seek high fibre options.

Portion sizes are important to consider whether you are type 1 or type 2. It makes calculating nutritional facts for carb counting or weight management much easier. Remember that everyone's portion sizes differ, so what works for someone else may not work for you.

Exercise and Yoga

Physical activity is vital for diabetes management. Even 10 minutes of walking after each meal have been shown to improve blood sugar levels. Exercise improves insulin sensitivity and moves glucose into your muscles, where it is used for energy, which helps to reduce insulin resistance. To enhance blood sugar with activity, you don't have to "burn" or "shred," just get moving.

Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity every week. Any action that causes your heart rate to increase, your breathing to quicken, and your body temperature to rise. You should still be able to speak and only be somewhat out of breath at this point. You don't have to complete all 150 minutes at once. Break it up into 10-minute pieces throughout the week, or 30 minutes five times a week.

Monitor Regularly

Keep a blood sugar journal and monitor your blood sugar as directed by your doctor. To control blood sugar levels, people with type 1 diabetes, gestational diabetes, and type 2 diabetes who use insulin should check their blood sugar throughout the day. You can use a smartphone glucometer to monitor your blood glucose anytime, anywhere.

Keep Yourself Calm

When you're stressed, your body's hormones in response to long-term stress might cause your blood sugar to rise. Furthermore, if you're under a lot of stress, it may be more difficult to stick to your typical diabetes care practice. Hence, avoid taking stress. Stress can affect your routine and health. You can try yoga and meditation to keep yourself calm. Engaging in activities that you like might help you in keeping yourself busy and focused.

Focus on your mental well-being and spend more time with friends and family.

Conclusion

There are numerous ways to control your blood sugar levels naturally.

Making lifestyle changes, such as managing your weight, stress levels, sleep quality, exercising, and staying hydrated, are beneficial. However, some of the most significant improvements are related to your dietary choices. Before making any lifestyle, changes or trying new supplements, consult with your doctor, especially if you have blood sugar issues or are taking medications.

[damacbycavalli]

The Seven Best Meditation Applications to Help You Reduce Stress

If you’re looking to meditate but don’t know where to start, these 7 best meditation apps for reducing stress can help you find the right method for you! The app with the highest rating was Headspace, and if you want to give it a try, then you should once. If you would like more information on any of the apps on the list, search for their name on google and it will take you directly to the app store page. 

Over the last few years, apps have become more and more popular as stress management tools. With apps like Headspace and Calm, you can meditate anytime, anywhere and meditation experts have found that meditating in short sessions (about 10 minutes per session) multiple times throughout the day can help reduce stress better than long-term meditation can. If you’re interested in using meditation apps to reduce your stress levels, check out these seven of the best meditation apps to get started!

Introduction:

If you’re looking for a free one to try out, Insight Timer and the Breathing App have no advertisements and are completely available offline. The Mindfulness App also has a paid version that offers more features like specific programs like Doing nothing. It’s another good option if you want more than just simple mindfulness training. Calm is another great app if you want something that feels a bit more personalized.

A guide to the best meditation apps for reducing stress is mentioned in this blog post! These are the 7 best meditation apps for reducing stress, from calming music to guided meditations. Keep reading to learn more in detail about meditation apps for reducing stress.

Below are some of the best apps to help reduce your stress. Some of them are free while others require a monthly or yearly subscription. If you’re new to meditation, we recommend starting with Headspace and then trying out Insight Timer and Buddhify. What do you think? Keep reading to know more.

1. Headspace

Most people think the best meditation apps are free and require little commitment. However, the best ones typically cost money with subscriptions of around $12 per month or more. Headspace offers a 10-day trial period where you can see if it is right for you. After that, they charge $12 per month to access their features including guided meditations and breathing exercises which take less than five minutes each time. 

The app includes a way to set reminders so you don’t forget your practice time as well as an interface that is easy to use with information about how long you have been using the app on any given day. Headspace is targeted towards beginners who want to learn the basics of mindfulness and meditation. There are lessons to take on the go which can be completed in about 10 minutes.

2. Calm

The best meditation apps to help you relax are Calm, Headspace, and Insight Timer. Each of these apps has a different approach to meditation that’s right for you. Calm provides a variety of meditation practices from experts like Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach, and more. In addition to the guided meditations, there are also timers and sleep stories for bedtime. 

Calm is an app designed to take you through the entire process of learning about mindfulness. Calm offers a variety of guided meditations to help you get into a calm state. The app also offers breathing exercises, visualizations, and music. 

3. Mindwell

The Mindfulness App includes both guided meditations and audio tracks as well as a basic timer. In addition, this app also has an Insight section which provides daily meditation prompts. As you gain more experience with the platform, you can personalize the way it delivers content to you by setting your preferences. Mindwell is an excellent app for beginners who are looking to ease into mindfulness and build on their existing practice of meditation.

4. Simple Habit

The app provides a sense of accomplishment when you complete a session by rewarding you with a finish-line animation. It also offers breathing exercises and meditations, which can be customized to your level of expertise or interest. It also has social media integrations, so you can share your progress on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. 

The free version offers over 6,000 free guided meditations while the premium version has over 20 million tracks to choose from. If you’re interested in being able to learn meditation in person, Simple Habit offers online courses that come with a certificate upon completion.

5. FitMind

The Fitmind app has been designed with the beginner in mind and as such, there is no need to worry about not knowing what to do as every session includes step-by-step instructions that make it easy to follow along. Once you’ve completed your first ten sessions you will be able to see how meditation can change your life by comparing your mood before and after a meditation session. 

What’s more, if you are looking for a little guidance on how best to get started with mindfulness, this app also offers a series of instructional videos which offer advice on how best to start. 

6. Wave

Meditation is a great way to reduce stress. But it can be hard to motivate yourself to make time for it. These 7 best meditation apps are perfect for those who want to meditate but do not have the time or energy. 

The app has many guided, sound-based visualizations that will help you focus and relax in just a few minutes. The only fee that is required to use this app is an annual subscription of $12.95 per month. It offers guided breathing exercises, lessons on mindfulness, and talks from leading experts in their field as well as mindfulness exercises. 

7. Smiling Mind 

This app is available for Apple devices and Google Android. It features a variety of meditation techniques, including mindfulness, guided meditation, breathing exercises, and more. The sessions are designed to be completed within 10 minutes. It also offers the option of doing the sessions in person with live instructors who come to your home or workplace. These online courses last from one week up to a month. 

Smiling Mind is an excellent choice for those looking for an on-the-go solution. It’s available as both an iOS and Android app that contains over 200 guided meditations with interactive instructions, animations, illustrations, and ambient sounds that help you focus on your breath during each session.

Bonus Point- 

1. Insight Timer

Relaxation is key to a healthy life and can be achieved in many different ways. One such way is through meditation, which has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Many apps help you meditate and Relax but some stand out from the rest. The following list ranks the best meditation apps on the market. 

This app will let you pick from a variety of guided meditation videos by world-renowned mindfulness experts including Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron, Joseph Goldstein, Mark Coleman, Joan Halifax Roshi, and more! 

2. Breathe

Breathe offers guided meditation sessions that can help you relax and de-stress. Breathe includes a timer, tracks progress, and provides personalized meditation programs. The app features easy-to-use timers and tools for setting reminders and keeping track of your progress so that you can stay motivated over time.  Breathe is a more traditional type of meditation where you set your own pace and length. There are no bells or whistles – just your breath and some relaxing background noise. It is free with in-app purchases. 

Conclusion:

With all of the stressors in our lives, it can be hard to find time to take care of yourself and give yourself the relaxation you need to be healthy and happy. Meditation apps can make this easy, allowing you to get the mental break you need on your phone or tablet. With these best meditation apps, you’ll be able to de-stress anywhere, anytime! In this guide, here we have given a list of the seven best meditation apps out there that we recommend based on their availability, price, and reviews from other users. Check them out now!

Source: The Seven Best Meditation Applications to Help You Reduce Stress.

[medtechlife2022]

  Which Is The Best Way To Get An Accurate Blood Pressure Reading At Home? 

Our stressful and health-strained lifestyle has necessitated the acquisition of a blood pressure meter at home. Many organizations, including the Heart Health Association, recommend that even healthy people check their blood pressure at least once a year. 

While anything differing from 120/80 mm Hg readings should call for constant monitoring depending upon the degree of difference in the systolic and diastolic numbers. Experts suggest using automatic blood pressure meters as they are easy to use and generate accurate readings. 

Why should you measure your blood pressure at home? 

Automatic Blood Pressure Meters are the best meters for checking for hypertension easily and accurately, and regular checkups can detect diseases early. People's blood pressure should be checked on a regular basis, especially if they are diabetic or have kidney-related problems.

Taking blood pressure readings at home is a healthy habit as well as a cost-effective way to keep your heart healthy and be aware of it. Having an automatic blood pressure meter acts as a tracker for treatments, and monitoring blood pressure at home also helps to prevent White Coat Syndrome.

Tips to Ensure an Accurate Home Blood Pressure Reading 

According to the American Medical Association and Johns Hopkins University, the following tips should be followed. Because various reasons can lead to inaccurate conclusions.   1.Full Bladder Adds to Higher Reading  

An empty bladder is essential for accurate reading because urine in the bladder can distort the results and add 10 mm Hg to the reading.

2.Support the back and the feet 

Supporting the back and the feet makes the person sit in an upright position, ensuring that the pressure in the veins and arteries is at its normal level. Otherwise, it can add up to 6.5 mm Hg to the readings. 

3.Keep Your Legs Uncrossed.

Crossing the legs can cause blood pressure readings to rise by 2-8 mm Hg. Because it puts pressure on the main artery in the leg. So, keep your legs uncrossed and allow your blood to flow freely so that the automatic blood pressure meter can take accurate readings.

4.Don't talk and sit still.

Sit still and don't talk for five minutes and then take the measurements as the body needs to relax and settle down. Otherwise, it can cause errors of 10 mm Hg. 

5.Place the cuff on the bare arm.

Putting a cuff over your clothes can cause your reading to vary by 5- 50 mm Hg. A bare arm allows the cuff to be placed in the proper position for an accurate reading.

6.Use the proper cuff size.

Using the incorrect cuff size can result in an incorrect diagnosis of hypertension or hypotension and can add 2- 10 mm Hg to the readings. The cuff should not be too large or small. 

7.Support Arm at Heart Level 

When the arm is supported at heart level, the patient's arm is in the same position relative to their heart. This helps to minimize the effect of gravity on the reading, which can cause readings to be lower or higher than they should be. 

8.Times to avoid the test

Wait at least 30 minutes after eating, taking your medicines, or exercising before checking your readings. Also, avoid taking measurements just after consuming caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol. 

Where to Get the Best Automatic Blood Pressure Meter? 

On websites like Medtech you can easily find the best quality automatic blood pressure meters. The benefits of the BP Monitor (BP 12 BACKLIGHT) are limitless. Quick, accurate, and reliable pulse measurement is only a few seconds away. 

It has extra-large LCD screens, a Micro-USB cable, and memory that can store 90 readings from two people. These BP monitors also have arm moving indicators that inform the user whether their arm is steady or not. When you select Medtech automatic blood pressure meters, you are also selecting accuracy, convenience, and a happy consumer experience.

[clearcals]

Indian Diet For Hypothyroidism- Instant Plan

TLDR

You can get a personalized Indian diet plan for hypothyroidism within minutes using the Hint app.

This plan helps improve TSH levels, achieve healthy body weight, boosts metabolism, stamina and reduces fatigue.

Have a look at the do’s, don’ts, and general diet tips to support you in managing hypothyroidism.

Please contact us if you have any questions that are not answered in the FAQs.

Get Early Access

Contact us at support@clearcals.com or Whatsapp for early access and pricing details. Indian Diet For Hypothyroidism  - Instant Plan

Overview

Living with hypothyroidism can be difficult, but there is some good news.

You have access to a personalized Indian diet plan created specifically for people living with hypothyroidism!

This article will walk you through all the details.

This is a diet plan to manage hypothyroidism with foods rich in iodine, selenium, zinc, B vitamins, vitamin C, and vitamin E.

While following this simple and effective diet plan there is no need to buy expensive foods or supplement shakes.

No need for rigorous exercise to lose weight as it offers a healthy and safe workout plan along with the diet plan.

It is safe and you can use this plan to maintain your thyroid at a normal level for the long term.

Using the Hint app, you can get this personalized hypothyroidism plan instantly within minutes. Just download the Hint app and subscribe to the plan.

For more details, email us at support@clearcals.com or Whatsapp.

Here are the key benefits, plan duration, and frequently asked questions.

Key Benefits

Improves TSH levels.

Helps in achieving a healthy body weight.

Boosts metabolism, and stamina and reduces fatigue.

Elevates your mood and decreases stress.

Plan Type

This is a monthly subscription plan. You can renew it every month, for three months, or once a year.

Diet Type

Taking your dietary preferences into consideration we have the hypothyroidism diet plan available in 3 different diet types, such as

1. Indian vegetarian diet plan for hypothyroidism

This is a vegetarian diet plan containing plant-based foods and dairy products. It does not include eggs, meat, fish, seafood, and other animal products.

2. Indian ovo vegetarian diet plan for hypothyroidism

This diet plan includes vegetarian foods and various egg recipes. It does not include meat, fish, seafood, and other animal products.

3. Indian non-vegetarian diet plan for hypothyroidism

This plan includes non-vegetarian foods such as meat, fish, seafood, and other animal products in addition to dairy products, eggs, and regular vegetarian foods.

Do’s:

Take your prescribed thyroid medication immediately after you wake up.

Try maintaining a 15 to 30 minutes gap after taking thyroid medication and drinking a glass of dhania (coriander) water.

Dhaniya water helps in improving symptoms of hypothyroidism.

Indulge in regular physical activity for at least 30 minutes early in the morning.

Have your pre-workout meal 15 minutes before starting your exercise.

A proper pre-workout meal is essential to fuel your body and increase your performance.

Eat your breakfast within 30 minutes post your workout to refuel your body and replenish the energy stores.

Eat breakfast along with recommended side dishes such as chutneys, sambar, or boiled egg to make it a balanced meal.

Eat snacks between breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Drink buttermilk or tea along with your snacks.

Include plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated. Track your water intake using the Hint app.

Eat brazil nuts as a morning snack. They are filled with selenium, which helps improve thyroid function.

Always eat raw vegetable salad 10 to 15 minutes before a major meal. It provides satiety and helps you prevent overeating.

Avoid large meals. So, follow the portion sizes included in your plan.

Finish your dinner before 9 pm.

Have your bedtime beverage at least 30 to 45 minutes before you sleep.

Turmeric milk is packed with antioxidants and an active compound known as curcumin. Regular consumption of turmeric drinks can help in managing thyroid disorders.

Try to sleep before 11 pm every day.

Sleep for at least 7 to 8 hours daily.

Log your food to track portion sizes and calorie intake.

Use reminders to follow the regularity of meal timings.

Try logging your food every day as it helps in making healthy choices.

Track your activity regularly to understand your calorie burn.

Reduce stress by practicing your hobbies such as gardening, music, reading books and painting, etc.

Don'ts:

Avoid skipping meals

Don't starve yourself. It doesn’t help you shed fat.

Avoid taking tea or coffee on an empty stomach. It causes acidity.

Avoid sweet fruits and fruit juices as a pre-workout meal. Only eat recommended fruits as a pre-workout meal.

Do not skip your pre-workout meal.

Avoid deep-fried or processed food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Do not skip your mid-morning and evening snacks. It leads to cravings and overeating in your next major meal.

Don’t drink coffee or tea after 6 pm.

Don't sit for too long as it decreases metabolism.

Limit the number of times you eat out to once a week. Take your packed lunch to work.

Avoid fasting and feasting.

Don’t have vitamin supplements at the same time as thyroid as they tend to interfere with the absorption of thyroid medication.

Never skip thyroid medication.

[tpwkjerii]

oh, zombie!

you’re certain you’ve met the end when you’re cornered by flesh-hungry zombies, but a man with a bat and the bone structure of a god proves you otherwise.

pairing: jungkook x reader

warnings: cursing, shooting guns, weapons, mentions of death, minor angst, fluff, blood, zombies (duh), attempted murder, kinda heated makeout session, namjoon is an accidental cockblock, kissing

genre: zombie apocalypse au, thrill/gore (not too descriptive or graphic), strangers to lovers

word count: 9.8k+

a/n: the zombies in this fic have enhanced smell for corpses and human stress hormones!! and help i have like two other jk drafts rn (& disclaimer: i don’t own the gif above!!)

Fucked.

That was the best word to describe you and your current predicament. Now, with the loud groans of at least four zombies and heavy bangs against the door ringing in your ears, you were really starting to regret entering this grocery store.

You knew you should have trusted your gut when you first approached the store, but the thought of having actual food (not the dry ramen packets you were currently surviving on) and more water (you were on your last bottle) tempted you to push open the glass door and rush into the supermarket without so much as a noise scan. It took only eight seconds for the zombies and their enhanced smell to know that you entered. You were barely able to grab a single bottle of water before you heard an eerily low groan and immediately rushed for shelter in the dairy freezer.

Your twenty seconds of recklessness led you to where you are now, pushed against a cold door while zombies banged heavily against it. You held onto the inner lock as you reached down for your gun, which you were certain only had a few more bullets; regardless, it was your best shot at escaping this store alive. Gathering yourself, you inhaled and exhaled deeply with hope that you could shoot them all fast enough.

Just as you were about to release the lock and face your fate, the groans fell silent and were replaced by the sound of heavy and almost cartoon-like thwacks. Your feet froze as you realized that that was no sound or action a zombie could make — there was another human outside. You had only a few seconds to decide your next move, which would ultimately decide your future and whether you die in the middle of a grocery store dairy storage freezer or not.

Whoever killed the zombies outside could either be a kind-hearted person who didn’t want to see you succumb to a tragic fate or a person who wanted to save you from death by zombies only to kill you for your survival supplies. Considering the fact that they just knocked at least four zombies on their own, you prayed that it wasn’t the latter.

A few silent seconds passed until you eventually moved your hand, and you prayed that this wouldn’t be your second fatal mistake of the day as you slowly unlocked and opened the heavy steel door. Your gun visible in your other hand, you stepped out to see who your potential savior (or murderer) was.

Your eyes landed on the face of an extremely handsome man. Despite the obvious disarray he was in (then again, everyone who manages to survive during a zombie apocalypse is at least some form of messed up), it was clear as day that he was attractive. He had alluring doe-shaped eyes that were deceivingly innocent-looking, long dark hair that fell messily over his forehead, and the facial structure of an absolute god. The cut on his lip, small scratches scattered across his face, and his silver earrings only added to his intimidating impression, and upon seeing the heavy metal bat he held in his right hand, you instinctively tighten your grip on your handgun.

You were so enraptured by his captivating appearance that you nearly forgot the situation you were in.

“Who - who are you?” you finally asked, attempting to keep your voice as level as possible and praying that your face wasn’t red since he definitely noticed you checking him out.

He didn’t look intimidated at all, and a part of you died internally when his lip curled into a smirk. This was not looking good for you. “Are you gonna put that gun down?” he asked, the depth and warmth of his voice throwing you off. He laughed as you only blinked and he continued, “You certainly didn’t have a problem with me when you were checking me out earlier, so why keep the gun up now, babygirl?”

If you weren’t blushing before, you definitely were now. You cursed under your breath as you moved your hand down and quickly placed your gun back in your thigh holster, deciding that he was safe and probably wouldn’t kill you. “I wasn’t checking you out,” you muttered, and he laughed at your obvious lie.

“Whatever makes you feel better, babygirl,” he said, a teasing tone in his airy voice.

Your brows knitted together in irritation at the pet name. “Don’t call me that,” you mumbled, looking down at your worn sneakers awkwardly.

He laughed again, and you found yourself oddly enchanted to his tiny laugh. He took a step towards you, causing you to look up at him as he told you, “I won’t call you ‘babygirl’ if you tell me what your name is.”

You cleared your throat awkwardly before you answered, “My name’s Y/N, what’s yours?”

He grinned, which somehow turned his entire demeanor upside down. With his wide smile, he was no longer the intimidating guy that took down three zombies on his own with just a bat, but rather a nice guy that just wanted to help out a fellow human from being killed by zombies.

“Jungkook,” he answered simply as he began to walk away from you and through the store aisles.

“Jungkook,” you repeated, familiarizing the way his name rolled off your tongue with a nod. “So, Jungkook, what brought you into this store?” you asked, rushing to walk alongside him and skim through the aisles.

“This your first time outside, Y/N?” he asked, abruptly stopping to turn and look at you. You froze and dropped the bag of chips you were holding at the sudden eye contact. He sighed and moved to pick up the chips and place it back onto the shelves. “I was wandering around the area, and I saw that you walked right into a trap,” he told you.

“A trap?” you asked, your mouth falling open in surprise.

He nodded and motioned for you to help him fill his rucksack with water bottles. “Looters will leave trace scents or pieces of human remains to attract zombies to popular places survivors will drift to. Once any survivors enter and get killed by the zombies, the looters will come back, off the zombies, and take their supplies,” he explained with a grimace.

Your face twisted, and you suddenly felt even luckier that Jungkook saved you. “How do you know? I mean, how did you know that the looters were here?” you asked, still a bit unsettled at the fact that you basically walked straight-first into a death trap.

Jungkook zipped up his backpack, now full of at least 20 water bottles, and headed towards the dried foods. “I spotted one of their vans when I was walking around, so I figured they were in the area. Then I saw you entering the store and bingo — I was right,” he told you nonchalantly as he stuffed various dried fruits and snacks into his pockets.

“Take some of these,” he added, gesturing towards the few remaining dark chocolate bars.

You nodded, briefly admiring his casual attitude as you shoved two handfuls of the chocolate into your jacket pockets. “How did you recognize them? Have you had any… run-ins with them?” you wondered curiously, picking up your pace to match his quicker steps as he made his way down the remaining store aisles.

“They approached me to join them when this whole thing started,” he started, pausing to laugh softly at the shocked expression on your face. He shook his head as he continued, “I said no because what they do is twisted. Luring people to their deaths for some sick form of fun. They say they do it for the supplies but we all know that’s a lie.”

You nodded your head thoughtfully. “Oh, well, I guess that’s an admirable and sane choice.”

He murmured in agreement, and you walked alongside him, unconsciously humming a song that had been stuck in your head for a while. Being with Jungkook, who was both stronger and more knowledgeable than you, provided you with a sense of comfort. Additionally, he wasn’t shooing you off and willingly accepted your company (for the past 10 minutes, at least). Before you even knew it, you two reached the front store doors.

He walked out first, holding the door open behind him. You faltered, a second thought of “does he really want me to go with him?” running through your head.

He raised a brow, opening the door a bit wider. “You coming?”

“Wh- what?” you stuttered in disbelief.

“Do you want to come with me or not?” he asked. “C’mon, babygirl. We don’t have all day. Those looters are bound to come back soon.”

At the mention of those evil people, your legs moved instantly. You rushed out of the door towards Jungkook’s side and eagerly turned to face him. “Where to?”

He laughed, and you swore it was one of the most enchanting tones you’ve ever heard, before saying, “What’s the place you’re staying in like?”

You thought back to your small home and the painful disarray it was in. It was a miracle that you were able to survive so long considering how ill-prepared you were for an apocalypse to happen.

“Er, probably not as good as yours,” you answered sheepishly.

“Fair enough.” He nodded at the anticipated answer and began to walk in the opposite direction that you came from. You continued alongside him, internally screaming at how lucky you were. Not only did Jungkook completely save your life, he let you stay with him! You didn’t understand why, seeing as you were arguably an impediment to his survival, but you were grateful regardless.

The city around you was lifeless. What was once home to millions of citizens and the hustle and bustle of daily routines was reduced to empty stone buildings, the only people left either roaming as the undead or too afraid to come out. Within two weeks, the city and all its people changed entirely.

As you walked alongside Jungkook, you wondered what type of life he led before the apocalypse. Was he a student like you? Did he have a job? Was he a police officer or firefighter? Did he have family?

Several questions imposed themselves in your brain, and it was enough to almost distract you from Jungkook’s words.

“That van over there is a looter van,” he informed you, pointing towards a parked black van that had unrecognizable red symbols sprayed on it. “Each one has different symbols on it, but they’re all in red so they know where each one is and don’t mess up a potential job.”

You nodded and absorbed his words. You definitely passed a van like that when you were walking towards the store. “That’s good to know,” you whispered, your voice strained with mild fear.

He didn’t say anything else in response and continued forward, gently tugging you along with him when you lingered in your spot a second too long as you stared at the van.

Jungkook led you for a few more minutes, each second only increasing your curiosity as to where he was taking you and what he was really like. Silence prevailed until you heard a low groan and the distinguishable sound of a foot dragging along gravel. You stiffened and unconsciously moved to grip Jungkook’s hand.

He stopped in his tracks and gently pushed you towards a building wall. Once both your backs were pressed flat against the stone wall, he adjusted the grip on his bat and you reached for the gun in your thigh holster. The zombie’s groans grew louder as it approached. You knew they couldn’t see and had a very limited sense of hearing, but you wondered if you or Jungkook had anything on you that attracted its hunger for rotting flesh or stress.

You held your breath as the zombie came into view, its decaying body and unsettling groans disturbing you. It walked closer, although not directly towards you. You raised your gun the same time as Jungkook lifted his bat, but you didn’t have to pull the trigger and Jungkook didn’t have to swing as the zombie only walked straight past you two, leaving only its rotting scent behind.

You breathed out in relief and relaxed your shoulders as you placed your handgun back in its holster. “Thank god,” you whispered.

“Let’s go,” was all Jungkook said before he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. It seemed like you weren’t the only one anxious to get out of the open.

Jungkook’s home was much, much better than yours (if you could even call your tiny studio that).

“Holy shit,” you whispered as you admired the fortified mansion. High stone walls and a metal gate surrounded the large two-story house. “You have this place all to yourself?” you asked Jungkook. Now you were really curious what his profession before this was.

He shook his head as he unlocked the gate with a key. “A few friends live with me,” he answered simply before slipping the key back in his jean pocket. “They should all be awake by now.”

You nodded and followed closely behind him as he walked up the short pathway to the front door. As he opened the door, you heard a loud yell come from within.

“Kookie!” he yelled, his voice smooth and deep.

You saw Jungkook’s face turn red as he quickly shut the door with a slightly mortified facial expression.

“Uh -”

The door burst open. “Kookie!” a man shouted before enveloping Jungkook into a tight hug. You stepped to the side, observing the affectionate interaction with a grin. The man who barreled into Jungkook had black, fluffy hair that was held back by a black hairband. He was on the thinner side, but still built, and appeared to be a bit taller and tanner than Jungkook. When he released the hug and turned to face you, your breath hitched.

He was attractive.

“Who’d you bring home?” he asked Jungkook, a boxy smile directed towards you.

“Her name is Y/N, I caught her just before some zombies got her,” Jungkook answered as he nudged you and the man inside.

As you stepped through the front door, you observed the large home’s tasteful interior. A pristine white kitchen was to the right of you, apparently well-stocked based on the two open cabinets that were filled with snacks and ramen. To the left of you was an open living room with one large couch and two smaller ones surrounding a paper-filled coffee table and a large TV mounted onto the wall.

Impressive, you thought.

The fluffy-haired man stepped in front of you, his contagious smile still going strong. “I’m Taehyung. It’s nice to meet you!”

You smiled at him. It’d been a while since you met new people, much less people with such warm and friendly dispositions. “It’s nice to meet you too,” you returned honestly.

Jungkook cleared his throat, announcing suddenly, “I’ll show Y/N around.”

You turned to face him, noticing that he had taken off his bags and leather jacket. His bare arms were now exposed, and you immediately noticed how sculpted he was. A sleeve of various tattoos decorated one of his arms, drawing your attention to the ink on his defined muscles. His other arm was more bare, but still had a few figures on it. Realizing that you were probably staring for too long, you tore your eyes away with a nod before you set down your own bag and followed Jungkook.

He took you past the living room and kitchen through a hallway, showing you where the first floor bathroom, in-home gym, and office were. You gaped at the book-filled office that also housed several weapons. Lined across the wall were several guns, knives, and other weapons you couldn’t even name. After you recovered from what you saw in the office, he led you up the stairs.

“This is Taehyung and Jimin’s room,” he said, pointing to the first door in the hallway. “Jin and Yoongi’s.” He pointed to the door next to the first one. “Namjoon’s.” He then pointed towards the first door on the opposite side of the hall. “And mine.” He pointed to the door next to Namjoon’s.

You nodded, resisting the urge to ask about their family members since you knew it could be a sensitive subject for them. “Are they all home?” you wondered. “Well, except for Taehyung, I guess,” you added as an afterthought.

Jungkook nodded. “Jin, Yoongi, and Jimin are probably in their rooms. Namjoon will be out for the next few days getting some stuff, so you can stay in his room for now.”

Your lips parted in shock. “No, no! That’s his room. It’s fine, I can sleep on the couches if anything!”

“It’s fine, he won’t mind,” Jungkook insisted.

But you shook your head in persistence. “Really, I’m completely fine with the couch. I wouldn’t want to make Namjoon feel uncomfortable or anything.”

He sighed and shrugged, seemingly relenting to your wishes. “Alright, we can head back down then,” he said as he turned back to the stairs.

Before you followed him, your eyes landed on the last door all the way down the hallway. You had no idea what was behind it, yet it still emitted an ominous and mysterious aura that called out to you. “Wait,” you said before you even thought about it. Just as he turned to face you, the realization that he probably didn’t tell you what was in that room for a reason (whatever that was) hit you.

“Er - nevermind!” You laughed awkwardly, hoping he would drop it. But it was too late — he already noticed your lingering gaze on the locked door.

“Don’t go in that room,” he stated bluntly before turning around, not giving you a chance to respond. “There’s nothing in there that’s of importance to you,” he added as he walked down the stairs. You rushed to follow him after him, still intimidated to be in this big house with completely new people, muttering words of agreement.

Everyone in this house was shockingly nice. Jimin was undeniably kind and spent your entire first night at your side, making sure you felt comfortable in this new place. Yoongi, although more reserved, didn’t hesitate to check if you were alright whenever you spaced out or got scared by a sudden noise. Lastly, Jin was incredibly attentive; from asking you if you had any food allergies or if you preferred baths or showers, he did his best to welcome you.

(They were all also really attractive, but that's besides the point).

Before you knew it, a week passed. Seven days of playing board games with Jimin and Taehyung, cooking with Jin, talking about conspiracy theories with Yoongi, and working out (and trying to avoid) with Jungkook.

Why were you trying to avoid him? Well, despite having met Jungkook first, you couldn’t help but start to feel awkward around him. Not because he made you feel uncomfortable or the reverse, but rather due to your undeniable attraction to him. It certainly didn’t help that his personality complemented his beautiful appearance well. On the outside, Jungkook appeared cold and intimidating, but on the inside he was soft and kind. He was exactly like one of the many fictional characters you’d fallen in love with before.

Your first official day at the house, you kept your cool pretty well. Of course, Jungkook and his endearing behavior and large, doe eyes had to ruin it. Then again, it was also on you for not listening to your initial instinct of avoiding the gym machines. What exactly happened?

Well, after three failed attempts of using the machine from hell (you didn’t even know it’s name), Jungkook finally decided that it was just getting sad and moved from his machine to help you.

“You’re supposed to use your arms to bring it back,” he said with a teasing tone as he neared you. You jumped in your seat and looked up at the mirror to see his figure stopping directly behind you. Your breath hitched as he leaned down and… oh fuck, did his arms just brush up against yours?

Face burning red, you looked away with a violent cough. “Er, I knew that.”

He laughed softly at your embarrassed expression, the enchanting sound of his lap wreaking havoc on your already weak heart. You turned towards him and gently pushed his chest with a scoff.

“You don’t have to laugh at me,” you grumbled.

“Sometimes I can’t help it,” he countered with a smug smile.

You particularly liked when he smiled since he reminded you of a bunny whenever he did — especially when he had a large smile and his eyes formed happy, crescent moons with twinkling stars. Jungkook’s grin (and laugh) was as infectious as Taehyung’s and Jin’s, and he was, overall, a perfect person in your eyes. Even as he made fun of you (jokingly, of course), you swore he was sent from the stars above.

Deciding it best to not catch feelings for your savior and person who graciously housed you, you tried to keep your distance from him since then. Whenever he entered the room, you tried your best to subtly leave (bless Seokjin for being exceptionally understanding of your “cramps”) and when he tried talking only to you or directing the conversation to you, you roped someone else into the discussion. It worked for the most part as you talked to the others more and ignored the way Jungkook made your heart race whenever you thought about him, but today you were out of luck.

“Y/N and Jungkook, supplies run today.”

You gaped at Jin from your spot on the couch. “What? Me? Are you sure?” you asked, silently pleading with your eyes.

He rolled his eyes and nodded, bending down to gently pat your head. “Yes, you. Don’t worry, you’ll have Kookie with you.”

“And this,” Yoongi added as he dropped a gun much larger than your small handgun in your lap.

You looked up at him in shock. “I don’t know how to use this!”

He shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out if you’ll need to use it.”

“C’mon, Y/N. You’re gonna have to pull your weight if you wanna stay with us,” Taehyung told you, winking at you when Jungkook entered the living room with his gear. Your eyes widened at him, but you couldn’t say anything as Jungkook approached you.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

You sighed and stood up begrudgingly. With an excessively-large gun in hand and empty backpack strapped to you, you exited the house with Jungkook at your side. Together, you silently walked down the same path he took you up almost a week ago.

You embraced the peacefulness of this secluded area. Jungkook’s home was quite secluded, and the surrounding trees were home to blissful breezes and a variety of chirping animals. Despite the downfall of humanity, it seemed that wildlife was flourishing, you noted.

“So I guess I’ll ask now,” Jungkook started, capturing your attention. You turned and looked up at him, anxiously waiting for him to continue. “Were you staying with anyone before? I assume not since you’re with us now…”

You shook your head. Your voice lowered as you answered, “I was all by myself.” He frowned while you continued. “My parents were on a trip abroad with my best friend Hobi when it happened.” Your eyes teared up as you mentioned your family and Hobi, who was basically your older brother.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook said softly, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“It’s ok,” you mumbled. “The last call I got from my parents before all the cell towers went down, Hobi was doing alright with them. I’m thankful that they have him.”

“I’m sure that Hobi is doing a good job taking care of himself and your parents,” he responded soothingly.

You nodded, blinking your tears away as you diverted your gaze towards your moving feet. “So what about you?” you asked after a few silent moments. “Do you have any family?”

He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on his backpack. “My parents didn’t make it,” he answered bluntly.

Your head whipped towards him. “I’m so sorry,” you said rushedly. “I don’t know why I even asked you, I overste-”

“It’s fine,” he cut you off, gently turning your head to face the road path ahead of you two. “I was the one who asked first, anyways.”

You looked down again in shame. “Sorry again,” you murmured.  

Jungkook smiled down at you before a small laugh escaped his lips. Your heart picked up it’s pace when he laced his hand with yours and pulled you forward. “Come on, the supplies won’t get themselves.”

You felt an odd sense of deja vu as you ran out of the grocery store, Jungkook following behind you and a horde of hungry zombies behind the both of you.

But let’s back up a few moments to ten minutes prior to this predicament.

You and Jungkook finally reached the grocery store that Jin had been scoping out via hidden camera for the past week. Your eyes were delighted by the sight of shelves lined with a variety of foods and freezers that still had cold air circulating behind the glass doors.

“This is one of the few places that run on solar power, so the electricity still functions in here,” Jungkook explained when he noticed your confusion at how he was able to turn off the lights and the gust of cold air that greeted him as he opened one of the freezer doors to grab an ice cream bar.

“I’m surprised no one’s hit this place up yet,” you said as you took out the list of supplies that Jin gave you before you left.

“Jin’s been watching this place for a while. He thinks no one’s come here because it’s kinda far away.”

You nodded in agreement, thinking back to the long walk you and Jungkook took to get here. You supposed not many people wanted to risk being out in the open for so long and didn’t find the commute worth it.

“Is Jin watching us right now?” you asked Jungkook curiously.

During your short few days at their house, you quickly learned each person’s role. Yoongi, who used to be an engineer, builds all the cameras and weapons. Jin, a former director and computer whiz, monitors the cameras that he and Taehyung set up around the city. Taehyung, a film and dance student, helps Jin set up the cameras in obscure places and trains with Jungkook and Jimin. Jimin, a skilled dancer, often accompanies Jungkook and Taehyung during training and supplies runs. Unfortunately, Jimin sprained his ankle recently and Taehyung injured his arm during training, leaving the supplies-run to Jungkook.

The only person you had yet to meet was Namjoon. According to the others, Namjoon was a former pre-med student and scientist who was on a trip to find something. Of course, they didn’t tell you what that something was. And while you were curious, you also didn’t want to overstep your boundaries and risk being kicked out.

“Probably, he usually watches camped out places to monitor and che-”

You and Jungkook both turned your head at the recognizable low rumble of a car. He was quick to grab your hand and pull you down onto the ground, out of view from the front glass windows. You held your breath at the sound of a car door opening and then the ringing bell as the front door was pulled open a few seconds later.

Jungkook reached towards his large gun, but he halted when he recognized the distinguishable stench that the random person carried in. Your eyes widened when Jungkook began panicking, his fingers fumbling for his walkie talkie.

You heard a heavy thud and the sound of the ringing bell again as the mysterious person exited the store. You waited until the rumbling of the car grew distant before you looked up and cursed loudly.

“Fuck! He dumped a dead body here!” you cried, stomach churning at the sight of the pale corpse.

Jungkook groaned from beside you and rushed towards the front of the store, poking his head out of the door and looking both ways. “Fucking looters!” he cursed as he moved his head back and hit the window.

Steering clear of the dead body, you walked towards Jungkook and craned your head to see what he was looking at. The sight of several zombies, more stumbling out of random buildings and streets to join the crowd, heading straight for the store. “Shit! What are we gonna do! They’re already down the block!”

Jungkook ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Fuck, ok, did you get everything?”

You quickly scanned through the paper list and peered into your open backpack. “Most, but I forgot to get some things,” you answered quickly as you mentally checked off each item you saw.

“Which ones?” Jungkook asked, already zipping up his backpack.

A blush spread across your chest and neck, and you wished that you didn’t have to answer. But judging by Jungkook’s stressed face as the zombies’ groans grew louder, you knew you were in no position to stall. “Er. Feminine hygiene stuff,” you blurted.

Jungkook paled before blushing immediately after. His body movements stuttered momentarily before he nodded and headed towards the back of the store. “Shit, ok. Start running!”

You stared at him in bewilderment. “What? I’m not leaving you behind!”

“Just go!” he shouted.

You felt the alarm in your body grow as your head darted between Jungkook’s frantically moving body and the group of zombies just down the street. Knowing that even Jungkook didn’t stand a chance against all those zombies, you ended up on a decision that you really hoped would end up working out.

“Fuck,” you whispered as you looked down at your large gun and adjusted your grip. In one swift move, you kicked open the door and began shooting the zombies, which were now coming from both directions across the street. Your aim wasn’t the best, but it was good enough to pierce bullets through a good amount of them straight in the neck or chest.

“Jungkook! Hurry up!” you cried as you held down the trigger, praying that Yoongi packed enough bullets in the gun.

Small piles of rotting bodies began forming as deceased zombies collapsed to the ground and the other ones climbed over them to get to you. But the few zombies you managed to kill were easily outweighed by all the live ones still clamoring towards you. A cry of frustration left you as you realized that the noise from the gun and the obscene amount of stress radiating from you and Jungkook were just attracting more zombies in the area.

Jungkook ran up towards you, several boxes of various tampons and pads in hand. “I didn’t know which one you wanted! Let’s go!”

In a normal situation, you would have thanked him for his thoughtfulness, but this wasn’t a normal situation by any means.

You and Jungkook ran out of the store towards the house, both turning back occasionally to shoot any zombie that was getting too close. Your breaths grew uneven from exhaustion, but the sheer amount of adrenaline pumping within you kept you and your weak legs going.

“Don’t get too tired! I’ll shoot, just keep running!” Jungkook instructed you when he noticed you clutching your side in pain.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine!” you responded. But you spoke too soon as you tripped over a rock not even a minute later. “Shit!” you cursed as you landed on your hands and knees before immediately standing back up and catching up to Jungkook, who had stopped a few feet ahead of you when he noticed that you fell.

He didn’t say anything as he gently turned your hands over and examined them. Cuts, with blood flowing freely from them and tiny rocks stuck in between the open skin, covered the palm of your hand and your fingers. Jungkook’s eyebrows creased in concern as he moved his eyes down your body to your knees, which now had deep, bleeding gashes in them from the rocks that cut through your jeans and broke your skin.

“Jungkook, it’s fine. We have to go.” You moved your hands to your side and pulled him to continue running, cringing at how your blood stained the bottom of his black denim jacket and his hands. He cursed, obviously wanting to say something, but continued alongside you.

Thanks to the unexpected delay, the zombies had gained on you by a good few meters. You winced as you turned around and pressed the trigger of your gun, the spray of bullets taking a few of them down. But your tiny sense of relief didn’t last long as you soon heard an empty click and noticed that nothing was leaving the end of your gun — you were out of bullets.

You cursed and turned forwards again. “How many rounds do you have left?” you asked Jungkook, panting heavily as you continued running next to him.

“Not that many,” he answered, concern evident on his face.

You looked back at the relenting zombies, hot on your tail, and cursed. How were you going to get yourselves out of this one?

The answer to your question was presented to you in the form of a poorly-driven SUV that was heading down the road and straight towards you and Jungkook.

“Thank god!” Jungkook cried as he pulled you to the side and out of the vehicle’s path.

“Thank god?” you repeated in confusion.

The black SUV halted to a stop in front of you and Jungkook, the doors opening automatically.

“Get in!” you heard a new voice shout.

You and Jungkook didn’t waste a second to climb into the car, which quickly sped away once Jungkook slammed the door shut behind him. Neither of you had the chance to breathe as the zombies, which seemed to have grown even faster, jumped for the back of the car.

“How did they get even faster?” Jungkook cried as he pulled your shaking body towards him.

“The fast ones might be mutations, I found more reports on them the other day,” the silver-haired man in the front with glasses answered. You assumed that this was Namjoon, considering his answer and that Jungkook didn’t mention anyone else.

“Mutations?” you cried, jumping when a hand smacked your backseat window. “These fuckers are mutating?”

Namjoon didn’t get a chance to answer as he harshly turned the steering wheel, sending the car swerving and you and Jungkook barrelling to the other side of the car.

“Namjoon you’re so shit at driving!” Jungkook exclaimed as he rubbed the side of his head that clashed with the glass window.

Namjoon scoffed. “Don’t talk to your hyung like that when I just saved your life! And who told you not to put on seat belts?!”

“Yeah, let me just put on a seatbelt while there’s zombies cha-”

You gasped suddenly and pulled yourself up towards the front. Head directly next to Namjoon’s, you reached your bloody hands up towards the steering wheel. “There’s a bunny!” you shouted as you swerved the car out of the way, sending Jungkook to the other side of the car and wincing as your waist collided with the firm side of the passenger seat.

“Y/N, what the fuck!” you heard Jungkook moan.

“We were gonna kill the bunny!” you protested in your defense as you rubbed your side and sat back down next to Jungkook.

“We have other things to worry about!” he yelled.

“God! I’m sorry, you’re right,” you groaned as you leaned back down into the back seat.

“They’re slowing down!” Namjoon suddenly announced, his eyes focused on his windshield mirror. “Look, they’re retreating!”

You and Jungkook both turned around towards the back window. Just as Namjoon said, the zombies stopped chasing you, instead shuffling in place or back the other direction. With the threat of zombies gone, you let out a breath of relief and closed your eyes.

You kept your eyes shut as Jungkook grabbed your hands and gently ran his fingers across the open wounds, his touch sending electricity through your body. Despite the rush from his soft touch, exhaustion still tugged at you and weighed down your eyelids.

With the comforting feeling of Jungkook’s hand wrapped around yours, you drifted into unconsciousness.

Your nap was unfortunately short lived. It took only a few moments to arrive back home, and upon exiting the car, the three of you were immediately greeted by everyone else in the home.

“Y/N!!” Jimin greeted as he walked slowly over to you. Jin closely followed the blond to make sure that he didn’t hurt his ankle.

“Jimin!” you said with an equal amount of excitement, throwing your hands up into a welcoming gesture.

Jimin and Jin gasped as you revealed your bloodied and cut up hands.

“You’re hurt!” Jin sputtered as he rushed towards you. “Your knees too!”

“It’s fine, it only stings a little,” you admitted sheepishly. It wasn’t a complete lie — you didn’t exactly have the time to think about your injuries while running for your life.

Jin shook his head. “Come inside, I’ll treat the cuts a-”

“It’s fine, I can do it,” Jungkook said, suddenly appearing at your side.

The older man raised his eyebrows. “You sure, Kookie? Don’t you want to rest?”

Jungkook shook his head and silently pulled you into the house, leaving you to shrug in confusion at the guys behind you. You followed Jungkook through the first floor, up the stairs, and into his room.

His bedroom was similar to what you expected. The walls were painted a dark grey color and there wasn’t much in the room other than the basic furniture and a few pictures and art frames. You sat down on the plain black sheets as Jungkook walked to his dresser and pulled out a first aid kit.

“Why didn’t you just let Jin treat my cuts?” you asked Jungkook quietly, noticing faint signs of exhaustion in his slow movements.

He hesitated to respond. His hands stilled on the top of the red kit as he slowly responded, “I thought this was the only way I’d be able to speak with you… alone.”

“Why?” you asked, praying that you weren’t blushing as assumptions instantly formed in your mind.

He cleared his throat and opened the kit, instantly reaching for several bandaids, disinfectant pads, and antibacterial wound ointment. “Well,” he started as he gently grabbed your hands and turned them so your palms were facing up. He opened the pack of disinfectant pads and swiped them across your hands and knees. “I wanted to ask you why you’ve been avoiding me the past few days.”

Your heart dropped. You didn’t realize that Jungkook noticed how you tried your best to steer clear of him; but it wasn’t like you could really tell him that it was because you were starting to have feelings for him,

“Was it something I said? I did?” he asked as he spread the cold ointment on the open wounds.

“No,” you answered quickly — a little too quickly judging by the way his head darted up to meet your eyes. You blushed under his stare and continued, “You didn’t do anything to offend me, Jungkook.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, almost pleading.

You groaned inwardly and wished you could cover your face with your hands, but Jungkook held them firmly in his as he bandaged them. A few seconds of dragged-on silence passed before you looked down at your lap and responded vaguely. “I didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”

His hands stopped and his brows furrowed in confusion. “Why would things be awkward between us?”

Blood rushed to your face as you looked up to make painful eye contact with him. “Do you really want to know?” you whined, already anticipating Jungkook’s answer since you’d become quite familiar with his stubbornness over the past few days.

“Yes,” he started. “Please tell me,” he said, feigning an expression of a wounded puppy.

You cursed under your breath and brought your freshly bandaged hands (you ignored that one of the bandages was only half on, courtesy of Jungkook’s prior confusion) up to your face.

“Do you promise not to make fun of me? Or kick me out?”

He laughed, although the soft sound didn’t match the nervousness in his expression. “Yes, I promise.”

His words prompted you to breathe in deeply, mentally preparing yourself for your confession. You can do this, you said to yourself. If you could shoot and run from at least thirty zombies, then you could definitely tell Jungkook you had feelings for him. Right?

It wasn’t like you could keep on avoiding him forever, anyways. With the rate that the apocalypse was going and based off the past few days, it looked like you were going to be at this house a while. You just hoped that your reveal wouldn’t make your stay awkward for either him or you.

Jungkook cleared his throat. “Y/N?”

You hummed, still stuck in your thoughts before finally responding. “I… I may or may not be incredibly attracted to you and have feelings for you,” you admitted reluctantly. Jungkook’s lips parted in shock, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before you continued in a panic. “You already promised you wouldn’t make fun of me or kick me out! No take backs!”

He laughed, and you cringed as you were sure it was a laugh of rejection and that the dulcet notes would be a new cause of your nightmares. But the words he said after proved the opposite.

“That’s a relief.” You looked up, a bewildered look on your face. “I like you too,” he mumbled bashfully, his long hair falling in front of his face as he looked down at his lap.

Your body froze. “D-Did I hear that right? Have I not gone crazy?”

He looked back up at you with a grin. “Crazy for me,” he joked with a wink.

Unimpressed, your face dropped. “I take it all back, I’ll go pack my-”

Jungkook shook his head with a chuckle. “Kidding, kidding,” he said, enveloping his slender hands around yours. “But I was completely serious about liking you back.”

“Really?” you asked, still in slight disbelief that Jungkook, who could literally have his portrait and biography in a hall of all Earthly legends, had feelings for you.

“Yes, really.”

You opened your mouth, ready to shoot a doubtful reply, but Jungkook cut you off with the lift of his hand. He rested his hand back down around yours before continuing, “I know you’re probably going to say something self-deprecating or a joke or ask me if i’m joking again, so you might as well let me speak first.”

He grinned at the way your face heated, priding himself on how well he knew you already.

“The way you wish each of us goodnight every night, the way you wake up early to help Jin prepare breakfast, the way you cuss whenever you’re nervous, the way you always try to keep up with whatever stuff we’re doing - even when it’s stupid - and keep a smile on your face; everything about you made me fall for you. Even before the apocalypse, I never felt this way for anyone else.” He took a deep breath, gently squeezing your hands. “The night I first brought you here, it felt like seeing you enter that store and meeting you was fate. You make questionable decisions, we both saw that today, but I’m glad that one of them brought us together because I honestly don’t think I can ever meet anyone else like you.”

A wide smile spread across your face and tears pricked your eyes. Never in your many years of life had anyone told you such genuine, heartfelt words. And no one noticed (or appreciated) those small things about you - your habits that were always brushed over - like Jungkook did.

You agreed with his claim of you making questionable (stupid) decisions, but in this moment you were thankful for your sometimes-dangerous spontaneity and rash decision making. Because if it weren’t for that sudden moment of desperation where you ran into the grocery store, you never would have met Jungkook. Your heart wouldn’t be racing like it was right now and your hands wouldn’t be warm from the feeling of his wrapped around them.

“What do you say?” he asked weakly, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“What is there to say?” you countered before you released your hands from his and interlocked your fingers around his lower body. The position was a bit awkward, but you didn’t mind. Less than a few seconds later, your lips were pressed against his.

Jungkook moved his hands from the small of your back to your neck up to your hair. He pulled you in closer to him as he deepened the kiss. You gasped and tightened your grip around him as he effortlessly lifted you up so you were sitting on his lap with your legs wrapped around his waist. He swiped his tongue against your bottom lip and gently bit it, drawing a moan from you.

You shifted in his lap, pulling a deep groan from him as he pulled away from your lips to trail kisses down your jaw and neck. A shiver ran down your spine as you felt him suck on your collarbone and upper chest to leave marks for him to see the next day. Just as Jungkook slipped his cool hands under your shirt, a startling voice rang from the other side of the door.

“Jungkook!”

The long-haired boy beneath you groaned in annoyance but continued to kiss you. “Just ignore him, he’ll go away,” Jungkook mumbled against your lips as he dragged his hands against the skin of your stomach.

You nodded, embracing the fiery feeling of his kisses and his hands against your bare skin.

“Jungkook!” the voice cried again, causing Jungkook to curse and groan again. “It’s urgent!”

“This better be good,” Jungkook grumbled as he reluctantly pulled away from you.

You frowned at the loss of his touch, but you didn’t have much time to mourn it as he instantly straightened his back once Namjoon said, “It’s about Project B.”

Your brows raised at Jungkook’s sudden reaction to whatever this “Project B” was. He turned to you with an apologetic look before gently setting you onto the bed and moving towards the door.

“Sorry,” he apologized quickly as he straightened his shirt. “I’ll talk to you tonight, I promise.” With that, he was out the door, leaving you in his room with only your thoughts (and hands and knees that had yet to be fully bandaged).

It had been nearly 8 hours since Jungkook had promised that he would speak to you at night. By now, the moon was high in the sky, it’s radiant glow doing nothing to calm your nerves. You knew that whatever Jungkook and Namjoon had to discuss was urgent, but how could he just leave you like that? You were barely able to process the best kiss of your life by the time you realized that you were still sitting stupidly on his bed after he left the room.

You sighed and moved from the window seat in the living room to the kitchen. Joining Jin at the counter, you plopped your head against the stone material with a groan.

“Jungkook and Joon are still in their little lab?” he guessed, nonchalantly flipping his book to the next page.

You nodded pitifully, now knowing that the mysterious room was a lab of some sorts.

“Here,” Jin said before standing suddenly, prompting you to look up at him. He grabbed a bowl of washed fruits from beside the sink and gestured for you to take it. “Bring it up to them.”

“But Jungkook said I ca-”

“I don’t care what he said. Tell him that they shouldn’t have skipped dinner,” Jin instructed firmly.

You nodded, a bit intimidated by Jin’s sudden sternness, and quickly took the bowl with you up the stairs. You slowly approached the door at the end of the hall, the ceramic bowl filled with strawberries and peeled clementines wobbling in your shaky hands. As you took each step, you imagined Jungkook bursting through the door and expressing his disappointment in you for even thinking about entering the room.

Luckily, that didn’t come and you reached the door in less than a minute.

Clearing your throat, you knocked against the door with your elbow. “Jungkook?” you called.

No response.

“Jungkook? Namjoon?” you called again, only to be met with what sounded like a low groan.

Your breath hitched in your throat. That noise didn’t sound pleasant at all.

You placed a weary hand on the door knob but quickly pulled it away as if it was burning hot. Debating thoughts battled in your hand: Jungkook clearly told you not to go in the room but what if Jungkook or Namjoon was in trouble? Wouldn’t leaving despite knowing that one of them could be hurt make you a terrible person (or girlfriend—you didn’t really know what you and Jungkook were yet)?

Taking a deep breath, you grabbed the silver doorknob and twisted it open. You stepped into the dimly lit room slowly, gasping at the sight before you.

“Lab” was definitely the right word to describe the room that almost mirrored your high school chemistry class. Seven tables sat in the room, four of which were filled with stacks of papers and folders while the other three had various lab equipment tools atop the black tabletops. It didn’t just end at the tables either.

“What is all this?” you mumbled to yourself as you examined the crowded walls. There was barely an inch of blank wall left as papers, newspaper clippings, photos (some rather disturbing), and notes decorated the wall like a second wallpaper.

You slowly walked through the room, examining the items pinned to the walls. Most of it was related to the zombie apocalypse, with newspapers (from when those were still around) detailing the first outbreaks and theories of the cause and papers filled with concepts you barely remembered from chemistry, physiology, and biology. Accompanying the scientific notes and articles were several pictures, some of zombies and others of medical abnormalities that you couldn’t quite explain.

One picture caught your eye, and you barely managed to place the fruit bowl down on a table with just enough space for it before you rushed over to the photo. The aged photo had three people, presumably a family, in it. A mother and father stood proudly behind their son, their hands on his shoulders as he beamed at the camera with his hands on his lap. The boy looked familiar. His round eyes and bunny-like smile eerily reminded you of -

“What are you doing?”

The unexpected voice sent a shiver down your body, and you jumped as you turned around to face him.

Jungkook.

You mentally hit yourself — you were so distracted by the items of the room that you failed to notice Jungkook waking up at his spot with Namjoon, slouched over and faces pressed onto one of the paper-filled tables.

“Um,” you started, unable to find the right words as you stared at his unreadable facial expression. You couldn’t tell if he was angry, disappointed, sad, scared, or possibly even all four.

He let out a frustrated groan and ran his tattooed hand through his long hair. “Just tell me what you saw,” he instructed firmly.

“N-not much!” you stuttered, your eyes wide. “I — Jin fruit! Yes! I just came here to bring you Jin — I mean fruit! I came to bring you fruit! Like Jin told me to!” Heat spread across your face as you attempted to explain yourself.

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed between you and the ceramic fruit bowl you pointed to, and he would’ve laughed at your clear disarray if he didn’t feel so anxious.

“You were looking at the walls, you must have seen something,” he deduced.

Your body stuttered as you gestured towards the photo you were looking at. “Nope! Just some things about zombies and… and this picture of you — fun stuff!”

He sighed and you cringed as he placed his hands on your shoulders. But he didn’t scold you or tell you how disappointed he was like you expected; instead, he let his head fall and mumbled something that you weren’t sure if it was meant towards you or himself.

“I guess it’s time I told you the truth.”

Your brows furrowed at his words. The truth? Judging by the contents of the room, they were studying the zombies; and it wasn’t all that surprising considering that Namjoon was technically a scientist and almost-doctor. Why was Jungkook so afraid to tell you?

He lifted his head up, and your heart clenched at the look of pure vulnerability on his face. “Will you promise me that you won’t judge me or run away?” he whispered.

You nodded. “Of course.”

“My parents were scientists who worked for the national lab. I didn’t really know what happened at their work or what projects they were doing because I was in university doing my own stuff,” he paused and briefly closed his eyes to take in a deep breath, “but one day I went home and they told me about an idea they had that was so great.

Super humans, they said. Humans with enhanced senses that would make them superior to regular humans and form the perfect army. I told them it was a shitty idea and that this was stuff they shouldn’t mess with, but they got upset and kicked me out.” He laughed bitterly. “This wasn’t the first time my parents and I ever disagreed on anything, and I thought they were smart enough to not go through with it so I just left. But I guess I was wrong because one day something at the lab went wrong.”

Jungkook hesitated for a second upon seeing the disturbed expression on your face — you knew exactly where this was heading.

He willed himself to continue. “A few months later I got a call from the hospital. They told me that my parents were severely injured while at work, and when I went to see them, they told me the truth of what happened: how they went through with the project but realized too late that it was a mistake, how they were trapped by the government, and how they created monsters.

My parents died from their injuries two days later, and a week after that there was a covered-up breakout at the lab they worked in. Only one day after the breakout, there was the first outbreak in the city only a few miles away. And now we’re here, trying to find a cure for the mess my parents started.”

“I’m sorry,” you immediately said, a mournful expression on your face. You couldn’t imagine the guilt and sorrow that Jungkook must feel.

He scoffed. “Sorry? Why are you apologizing? This entire thing is my fault,” he muttered.

Your face fell and you moved to grasp his hands. “Jungkook, I don’t see how any of this is your fault,” you spoke honestly, your voice soft.

His eyes widened and he pulled his hands away from you. “Y/N, my parents are the reason this apocalypse happened! And - and they told me about their idea and I didn’t do anything to stop it!”

“You did what you could,” you stressed. “You told them it was a bad idea and they made their own adult decision to go through with it.” You took a step closer to him and looked at him in the eyes. “You can’t blame yourself for your parents’ actions.”

He shook his head and looked away. “I should’ve fought harder,” he countered stubbornly. “I’m a terrible person.”

“Jeon Jungkook, look at me.” You used your finger to turn his head so his gaze was directed towards you again. “You are not a terrible person. If you were, you wouldn’t have saved me that day at the grocery store or risked your life to get me pads or spending your days working to find a cure that isn’t even your responsibility.” You took another step towards him and slowly wrapped your arms around him. “You’re a good person, Jungkook. I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart,” you murmured with your head against his chest.

He was silent for a few moments until his body relaxed into your hold. “Thank you,” he mumbled as he gripped your waist and upper back and rested his head atop of yours. “Do you still feel… the same for me?” he questioned cautiously.

“No,” you answered quickly, causing him to quickly pull away from you in offense. You giggled at his reaction before continuing, “I like you even more now. You were honest with me and now I feel closer to you.”

His face relaxed as he let out a relieved sigh before bringing you back into his arms again. And for a few moments, the two of you simply basked in each others’ embrace.

Jungkook was the first to break the silence. “We’re not very close to finding the solution, you know,” he mentioned with a disappointed tone.

You shrugged. “It’s ok. This isn’t something you can really rush, but I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

He pulled his head back to look down at you, a gentle expression painted on his face. “Promise?”

You smiled at him. “I promise,” you whispered before you moved to close the distance between your lips and kiss him once again.

The future was unsure for you and Jungkook and tomorrow or the next week wasn’t guaranteed. But you were sure that if there was anyone you wanted to survive and overcome a zombie apocalypse with, it was Jungkook (and his unconventional group of friends that he calls his family).

a/n: ngl i would feel so safe in a zombie apocalypse w bts akjnkas. also might write a drabble about hobi in this plot hehe. i hope you enjoyed and pls leave comments as they’re rlly encouraging and will  help me improve in the future :’))

[nnightskiess]

𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐝

₊° 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞, 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 (𝐲/𝐧), 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬. 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝. 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐢𝐜, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥...

𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐱

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

for my great friend lux @redhairedwolfwitch ♡ thank you for everything.

"Hey, you paged us?"

Cristina tilted her head, curious, while you stood behind her, wondering if you were in trouble if the Chief needed you.

"I know you're both most interested in cardio, so..." He motioned the two of you two follow him until your pager went off.

"Shit," You mumbled under your breath, staying slightly behind as you heard Cristina gush about the cardiac trauma Hunt showed her, "I gotta run, Robbins needs me, a complication in the NICU."

"Come on?! Cardiac trauma!" Cristina turned to you, the look on her face saying enough. But you had already started to walk away, putting a spanner in the works of the plan the universe had in store for you.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

"Doctor Bailey!" You rushed after her, wanting to catch up with her and show her the results of the CT she needed, until Cristina appeared out of nowhere, seeming frustrated.

"The new attending doesn't even know how to put in a temporary pacemaker!"

They came to a halt at the nurse's station as you hovered next to Cristina, waiting your turn.

You tilted your head, "Wait- we have a new attending?"

"Did you or did you not ask this man for a new cardio attending?"

"Yes."

"And did he or did he not bring in attending after attending, none of them who seem to please you and all of whom you ran off?" Bailey gave Cristina a look, one that made you have to bite your lip so you wouldn't laugh. Doctor Bailey had her cornered, and rightly so.

"That is not a fair assessment." Cristina bluntly replied.

"Doctor Yang, has it ever occurred to you that you might be the problem? Right, leave this man alone. Go torture the new attending. (Y/S/N), you got the results?"

You passed the results over, leaving as soon as Bailey waved you off, so you could go on your way to pester Cristina.

"So... why is the new cardio attending not to your liking this time?" Cristina rolled her eyes and groaned as she heard the teasing in your voice. You followed her, ignoring the annoyed look on her face, "Let me guess... weird hairdo that keeps distracting you? Bad breath? Silly walk? Or are they just not at your level?" You air quoted, making Cristina stop to stare at you before she continued her walk, but you knew she would talk after that.

"She might have been it once, but oh no, not anymore. She made me put in a temporary transvenous pacemaker because she hadn't done it in ages."

You grimace, having to admit how bad it sounded that a cardio attending didn't know how to., "At least she admitted it?"

Your comment went completely over Cristina's head, who was still fed up with the situation, "She's inexperienced, inadequate and is definitely not a cardio goddess. She's a desert storm barbie, who hasn't seen the inside of an OR in like 10 years. Owen was wrong to bring her here."

"Well... you've used up your three wishes and Webber and Bailey are done with your complaints... so I think you're gonna be stuck with her."

Cristina let her head fall back and let out the biggest groan before turning into another hallway, leaving you to shake your head as you walked to the lifts.

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"So, what do you think of the new cardio attending? Excited to learn from her?" Arizona draped her stethoscope around her neck, following you out of the room.

"I can't say, haven't met her yet... but Cristina seems to be really happy with her."

Arizona raised an eyebrow before she saw the look on your face.

"Oh, yeah, I heard. Wait-" Arizona looked at her pager, "Hm... speaking of the devil, Yang paged me. Walk with me?" She squeezed your arm, hoping you'd follow her.

You briefly caught up with your friend as you walked through the hospital. Jackson and Cristina were standing around a hospital bed, but before the two of you could approach, Arizona's pager went off once more,

"Hm... can you inform the parents of one of our preemie babies of his vitals? They're going home and would like to hear everything's still alright before they leave. Check his vitals with them in the room or they're not going to want to leave. They're persistent, but they're good parents. " Arizona gave you a soft smile as you nodded and grinned, doing as she told, not seeing the other blonde approaching Arizona behind you as you walked away.

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You were leaning against the wall, waiting for Arizona to finish up since she was your ride home, when a happy Cristina all but skidded out of the resident's lounge.

"You're being weird. What's gotten you so happy?" You noted as Cristina's frown from that morning had turned into a wide grin.

"Guess who did a Takeuchi repair today?"

"You did not!?" You gasped and stood up straight, your full attention now on Cristina.

"Uh, not all by myself. But she did let me do the coronary artery anastomosis."

You raised your eyebrows, still surprised. Cristina was a great resident, but that was a big shot surgery, even for her. "Damn, are you taking back your words about her now?"

"Yeah, probably. Which means-" She turned serious again, pointing a finger at you, "The games have begun." She let out another ecstatic laugh before walking off, letting you know you would have to step up and fight to get hours on cardio with the new attending.

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You walked into the lifts the next morning, the coffee Arizona had gotten you in one hand, the charts of the nightshift in the other. You only had five minutes to read them all and then inform your attending of the day of any changes. But with the coffee in your system, you knew you could do this.

You skimmed the first few pages of one of the charts as other people hurried into the lift right as the doors closed. A few floors later, you knew it was your turn to step out when the doors opened. Not wanting to waste any time, you kept your head low to read the charts, but you had to look up and stop when someone crossed your path- quite literally.

A woman hurried by, apologising to people left and right as she rushed through them. Though she had been fast, you had not failed to catch a glimpse of the face that you once so adored.

Teddy Altman.

She hadn't seen you, probably because your nose had been buried in the charts, or because she had been in a rush. You watched her disappear through the double doors towards the OR's and that's when it clicked. Teddy, your old friend from back in New York, the same Teddy that was in love with cardio, was the new cardio attending Cristina suddenly seemed to be gushing about.

You ditched your coffee somewhere, your body suddenly being filled with nerves and stress. It had been years seen you'd seen her. Ever since your mutual friend Allison had passed away on that damned day, you had lost contact with Teddy. Almost as if she had disappeared. Just like that. No note, no phone call, no goodbye. Maybe it had been for the best. The abrupt ending to your friendship had helped you get rid of the wish that it would ever become something more. Teddy was gone, and so were the feelings you had secretly been harbouring inside. But seeing her now... It overwhelmed you how only a glimpse of her could bring back the crapload of memories the two of you had shared. You slipped into one of the vacant seats in the waiting room, clutching the charts against your chest.

"No sitting, (Y/S/N), you've only just started your day. Let's go! We've got jobs to do. Chop-chop!" Bailey walked by, gesturing for you to get up and go.

You stood up, took the deepest breath and made a promise to yourself-

It's been years. You changed. You were no longer the EMT Teddy used to know. You took great pride in the fact you had grown, as a person and as a doctor. You were a resident now. Besides, for all you knew, Teddy didn't want anything to do with you anymore. She must have changed too. Besides, who knows what happened to her after you lost each other.

Teddy might be back, but your feelings were long gone.

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You walked into the cafeteria, talking with some of the Mercy West residents as you grabbed your lunch, placing it on the tray in front of you. You rolled your eyes as they started to gossip, happy you had your food so you could walk away from that. Shaking your head, you turned around to scan the cafeteria, your eyes landing on Arizona's, who waved you over. You froze in your spot as you saw the back of Teddy's head, who was seated at the same table. Without thinking, you turned around and left the cafeteria in a hurry, the tray still in your hands. You hoped you had been fast enough before Teddy could have seen who Arizona had waved to.

Facing Teddy was not on your to-do list any time soon.

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You had successfully managed to avoid running into your old friend all day, rather doing scut or helping out in the clinic than scrubbing in or helping with consults. Anything to stay out of Teddy's way.

"So, will you tell me why you ran like a chicken earlier today?" Arizona wore a playful smile as she from the doorway how you were grabbing your things.

"Um-" You shuffled some things around in your locker, trying to stall coming up with an answer. Arizona was one of your best friends and already knew whatever you would say would be a complete lie, "Stomach ache. Needed a toilet."

Arizona nodded her head, her playful grin not disappearing, "Yeah... I usually like my lunch with some nice sound effects and extra stench too."

"Wha-," You stopped to turn around, "I did not eat my lunch in a toilet."

Arizona shrugged noncommittally, going to the next topic, "Had fun removing haemorrhoids at the clinic today?"

You sighed defeatedly and pushed your jacket in your bag, glaring at Arizona, who was having way too much fun with this.

"Fine. I ate lunch in a toilet cubicle and helped out at the clinic today. What's wrong with that? They need all the help they can get."

"Meanwhile you could've scrubbed in with Doctor Altman and I. She let Yang fix the kid's Alcapa. Could've been you." She shrugged.

She patted your back as you passed her out of the lounge, letting out a groan at the missed opportunity. You clung your bag over your shoulder, greeting colleagues left and right, trying to play it off, but knowing Arizona was following close behind.

"Nice try," Arizona whispered in your ear as you waited for the lifts to arrive.

You sighed and turned around, about to shoot back a witty reply to wash the grin away from your friend's face, until you saw Teddy round the corner into the hallway, coming your way while she talked to an intern. The lifts dinged behind you, but you quickly pulled Arizona away, pushing her into the door that led to the staircases.

"Okay- wait, what just happened?" Arizona let out a breathy chuckle, her eyebrows raised as she tried to decipher what was going on in your head.

"We're taking the stairs down today! Let's go, I haven't reached my 10k steps yet!" You were already walking down, leaving Arizona to look back, thinking she might have missed something, until she eventually followed.

"Okay, tell me what's going on because you've been incredibly weird, all day long." Arizona stopped you when you were about to walk out of the hospital. You looked her in the eyes, seeing the genuine concern.

"Doctor Robbins!" You shut your eyes at the familiar voice and quickly turned around, slipping into the gift store unnoticed, still in hearing distance,

"I wanted to give you this for the follow-up surgery but you left so quickly." Teddy smiled softly, watching how Arizona looked around, noticing you had dipped, "Just read through it at home and we can discuss tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah! Sure! Thanks." Arizona's eyes fell on the back of your head as you tried to distract yourself by looking at the many different postcards of Seattle.

Teddy furrowed her eyebrows slightly, "Um... okay, well, we'll talk tomorrow."

"Sure thing!"

You waited until Teddy had disappeared into the lift again before stepping out from behind the rack, Arizona immediately pulling you out of the gift shop, her mouth agape as she watched with excitement, "You are crushing on Doctor Altman!"

"What? No!"

"What else can it be? That's why you've been avoiding every place she's at like the plague. I knew you would like her, but I didn't know you would like her this much." She raised her eyebrows suggestively, the grin on her face only widening as you sighed and walked out of the hospital.

"I'm not crushing on her. I haven't even met her yet. I'm just... shy... to meet new people. I need more time."

Arizona snorted as she followed you to her car, "Yeah, sure, that's it." But she grew serious when she saw the conflict in your eyes, "You know you can tell me, right? Anything. I don't judge."

You turned in your seat, it was clear you were battling thoughts in your head. You let yourself fall back against the seat as you sighed,

"I don't want Teddy to see me. Not yet, at least."

Arizona rose an eyebrow, silently telling you she needed more information if you wanted her to understand.

"We knew each other. Back in New York."

Arizona nodded slowly, knowing about your life as an EMT in the Big Apple, "Did you fall out? Did you fight? What happened?"

"That's the thing- I don't know. One day we were friends, the next... she was gone? This is the first time I've seen her since 2001 and... I don't know, it threw me off. I don't know what to do or say now."

"She hasn't seen you yet?"

You shrugged, "No, I don't think so. Not that I know."

"Well, were you great friends before she left?"

"You could say that. I just-" You stopped yourself, sneaking a glance at Arizona, who looked back at you with an encouraging smile, "Oh God- okay... I just always feared I might have scared her away?"

Arizona pursed her lips before hearing what you rambled out next, "I had like, the biggest crush on her and for a while, I thought she had one on me too until I realised she was like that with our mutual friend Allison too and-"

"Doctor Altman likes girls?!" Arizona gasped, intrigue written on her face. You quickly shut her down, not wanting to start the spread of another rumour in the hospital,

"No?! I don't know! I don't think so. No."

You sat in silence for a while until Arizona opened her mouth, "Well, I think it would be best if you just rip the band-aid off tomorrow. I don't think she'd appreciate finding out you avoided her for as long as you could. It's probably going to be awkward either way."

You nodded softly, knowing Arizona was right, "Will you help me?"

"Pfff, of course! I got your back." She smiled at you as she drove out of the car park.

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You kept yourself busy by alternating between buttoning and unbuttoning your lab coat and fixing your hair, wanting to look presentable since Teddy hadn't seen you in years. It was silly, how you hadn't been able to let go of the nervous habits you had whenever you'd be around her. But the worry Teddy would be disappointed to see you again made it worse this time.

"Stop that, you look great." Arizona smiled encouragingly and fixed your collar as you started to play with your fingers instead, needing something to try and keep your nerves under control.

"Ready?" She asked you as she stopped in front of the room Teddy had paged her to. You gave her a curt nod and took in a breath as she opened the door, revealing Teddy who was looking at the whiteboard in front of her.

"Doctor Altman, I brought a resident who's gonna help me with this case. Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all! I went ahead and-" She stopped midsentence when she turned around, her eyes locking with yours. Sure, you had changed over the years, but you knew Teddy would recognize you in an instant.

"(Y/N)?" She breathed out, her face going from confusion to shock to excitement in just a few seconds.

"Oh my God, it's really you?" She walked up to you, her arms open to welcome you in a hug. Teddy let out an awkward chuckle as she noticed you didn't move a muscle, but she slowly and unsurely wrapped her arms around you when you took a hesitant step forward.

"It's so good to see you again! How- I- What?!" She smiled and rubbed her cheeks, trying to wrap her head around the fact you were standing in front of her, and trying to stop herself from panicking. "You left New York? When? You're a resident now!?"

"It's been years, a lot can happen." You squeezed your fingers behind your back, realising how harsh it sounded, no matter how much she deserved the cold shoulder. You just wanted to get this over with.

Teddy's smile faltered, but only momentarily, before her eyes filled with glee again, "So- what's happening? What's new? How did you get here? Are you.... third year? Or-"

"I love this little reunion but maybe it's best we focus on the surgery now...We've got little time." Arizona butted in with an apologetic smile, seeing you needed a breather.

"Yes! Of course, apologies." Teddy turned back to you, her face unreadable, but her gut wrenched with the guilt she suddenly felt. Your eyes said it all.

"We...um, should catch up later." She spoke before she quickly turned to face the whiteboard again, muttering something under her breath, hoping to be able to mask her panic in the next few hours of you two working together.

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"Go!" Arizona mumbled out, bumping your hip when you stopped, seeing she was gesturing to Teddy waiting in line. "Go break the ice!"

"I thought I already did that this morning?!" You whisper-yelled back but was pushed forward by your friend.

"Oh- hi!" You shot her a wry smile, albeit awkwardly, as Teddy turned around. "Want to...um... eat lunch outside with me? Catch up? It snowed last night and uh, I know you used to love-"

But you stopped as you saw Teddy nod and smile, "I'd like that."

"So, Seattle, huh?" Teddy started once you had found a vacant bench outside the hospital. "I thought you said you could never see yourself leaving New York?"

"Yeah, well, I got the opportunity to do my residency here... I wanted to start fresh, and New York isn't what it's been after-" You stopped, noticing how Teddy tensed. She took her time eating her sandwich, stalling an answer before she eventually had to speak.

"It's good to see you ended up where you wanted to be. Seems like all those times I helped you study for med school weren't in vain." She smiled with her eyes as she took another quick bite of her lunch. She tried so hard to read your energy, but you seemed closed off.

"Don't get me wrong, I loved being an EMT, but this is good. This is great. I'm happy now. This is the right path for me."

Teddy gave you a soft smile as she truly took you in for the first time, daring to stare at your side profile now that you were focused on your own lunch. You wore your hair differently now, your face looked a bit more mature and you also seemed more reserved, but maybe that just had to do with the awkward tension still floating between you two. Your eyes though, still gave her the same comfort, even if she had lost the ability to read them, apparently.

"What's it going to be? You got your eyes set on a specialty already?"

You nodded while taking a sip of your drink, "Cardio or peds... though I sometimes like to dabble in neuro."

Teddy let out a breathy chuckle, "Ha! Knew it! I recognized the light in your eyes every time I helped you study cardio cases."

"Well, you made it fun. It was hard not to like it by the way you explained it. You seemed passionate about it so of course, I would try to feel the same way."

She nodded to herself, the corner of her lip curling up slightly before she changed the subject, "Where were you on Monday? Doctor Robbins and I did an alcapa surgery together, you would have loved that. Would have been the perfect match for you."

"Oh, um, I don't know, I think I was helping in the pit all day? It was a busy day." Deciding to change the subject once more, you opened your mouth again, "Where did you end up? You left but never said anything, I was worried for weeks until I eventually had to let it go."

Teddy stopped and put her lunch down, "I joined the army..." she watched closely as you raised your eyebrows in surprise, "Almost immediately after... That's were I met Hunt and that's how I got here."

You nodded softly, trying to put it all into place in your head. She obviously gave you the short explanation, as she had left out years of details. But you figured she did so for a reason, and you respected her decision.

"Wasn't I worth a goodbye though?" You chuckled dryly, half joking, half serious.

"God- no, I mean yes! Of course! You deserved an explanation, that's on me, I just... had to go. I couldn't breathe. I hadn't been in a right state of mind for a while, especially after my parents passed away... and then Allison..."

You put your hand on her leg, "Teddy, it's alright, you don't have to explain further. Sorry... I just- All I actually needed to know was if you were still alive. I was dying inside not knowing if you were alright-" You bit the insides of your cheek as Teddy's hand was placed over yours. She sighed and looked out in front of her, her fingers tangling with yours as she squeezed your hand.

"I am so sorry. You deserved a proper farewell."

You nodded, agreeing, but decided to stay silent, sensing that Teddy already knew how bad she had messed up.

"So um, are you staying here? This is not a temporary thing?"

She squeezed your hand again, just to reassure you, even if she felt tortured by all the lost memories and feelings resurfacing,

"Yeah, I plan on staying." She cleared her throat, "Which is why I'm glad we worked this out right now? I mean, we're good, right?"

Thoughts circled through your head while you felt your chest tighten. Having to be around Teddy again would be a challenge, especially seeing how you left things. But you could manage. You were a surgical resident, for heaven's sake, and you were not going to let an old friend from the past ruin anything.

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