#so my feelings are never gonna revolve around some internet boyfriend

[tim-hoe-wan]

I’m sorry, I get why you would avoid this topic, but I feel like I’m the only woc who doesn’t see anything to celebrate about this and I’m scared to tell my gc. I’m just looking for a fellow woc here am I being weird? How would you feel if Harry were to date an Asian like you? I just feel weird that I really can’t agree seeing dating a white man as a win.

I mean I can get the context because isn’t that always the thing with internet boyfriends. People can’t help but want their s/os to be some self-insert or the one in their fantasies.

But taking away Harry or the internet boyfriend phenom, I myself just don’t see men as a prize or worth fighting about so I can’t relate. I am actually repulsed at the idea of fighting over a man or seeking validation from men in general. I also feel bad for their s/os either way even if they’re a white. Like no matter how annoying and problematic Olivia was, I did feel bad for her and would roll my eyes that fans would think she’s the devil but somehow that man is an angel? Or this man can probably date the most private, non-problematic woman and his fans are still gonna find some way to demonize her as long as she’s not the one they want for him. I know this man is not as repulsive as the other men in the industry; but it baffles me how his fans label every woman next to him as a demon and he gets away as some angel baby just because he doesn’t say anything and becomes a blank slate and refuses to alienate anyone, even the worst of his fans. Even just ignoring Harry, I am repulsed with how men get away with so much or are praised for the barest minimum. It’s not on a specific celeb in general, it’s my issue with society and that requires more than a tumblr post.

But there’s always gonna be an added layer of unhinged if a woc dates the internet boyfriend. Just look at Priyanka Chopra. An incredibly successful bollywood actress who never needed Nick to be anything. Look at how his people, not just fans, basically dehumanized her. This isn’t even if she’s problematic or not and I doubt all his fans are suddenly experts on the South Asia geopolitics, but they dehumanize and take away her whole person. There’s just an added layer of vile that comes out if they’re dating a woc and only us who’ve experienced that racist insults understand that. But truthfully, I’m always gonna feel bad for the women he dates cause that’s some spineless man and while I understand the phenomenon of it, I disengage at the idea of seeing a man, especially a mid white man, as a prize or worth fighting about. Neither am I as a woc is any sort of token or prize.

[nautiscarader]

Year of the cow, or how I stopped worrying and loved the meme (BBRae)

Beast Boy's and Raven's relationship is truly one of the most subtle and emotional ones I have seen. There are lots of fantastically written fics which dive deep into characterisation and their nuanced, complicated emotions, showing complex colours of the spectrum of love.

Unfortunately, you have made a mistake clicking on one of my fics.

This is a birthday present for my buddy, ZekkKiray, and it revolves around a meme which I really found irritating... And I wondered how other characters might have reacted to it. Happy birthday, man!

yes, still half hour till midnight in my time zone, made it.

BBRae, 4k, E, (Ao3)

==========

As the Sun slowly hid on the horizon, Jump City, just like every city and town in the world, was slowly preparing for a glorious celebration. People were ready to welcome the new year with dances, parties and optimism encouraged by copious amounts of alcohol.

But not everyone was interested in partying and throwing caution to the wind. Five superheroes traversed the town's rooftops, watching over many celebrations, and ideal breeding grounds for crime, big or small.

Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Raven and Beast Boy set out to patrol the city, to ensure that this momentous occasion won't be disturbed by any wrong-doer...

And quite quickly decided to join the party. Well, some of them. Robin sighed when he realised that his team has disbanded to join the crowd of onlookers, cheering and applauding the band on the colorful stage, that would soon be replaced by another group, hired just to play one or two hits for some quick cash.

Raven stayed to the side as well, keeping her eye not only at her friends, but the crowd, though her attention was suddenly caught by the dancers on the stage. Three women, dressed in black-and-white horned costumes, performing a synchronised dance, much to the delight of the audience.

- Er, and what exactly is that? Some sort of fad...?

- Oh, no, friend Raven! - Starfire was eager to explain - Robin has told me it's a Chinese calendar! And the Chinese have chosen an animal to represents each year, and...

- Oh, yeah, right. - Raven interrupted her - And lemme guess, this year's a cow?

- Ox, technically. - Robin chimed in - And it's not even started yet, it's based on a lunar one, so it will be somewhere in February.

Raven looked at the women in their silly costumes, dancing and playfully jiggling their fake udders and cow-bells to the beat of the music.

- Meh, whatever, it's gonna be over soon. Oh, by the way, this guys was pickpocketing. - Raven spoke nonchalantly, her shadow coiling around a burly man's throat.

By January fourth, however, Raven was seeing cows everywhere. Television, billboards, the internet... especially the internet. She felt as if it was a single-themed Halloween party that somehow stretched to a week.

And the boys weren't helping. While Robin remained reasonably level-headed, Cyborg and Beast Boy were having times of their lives, enjoying every single appearance of the costumes in real life, or in any media.

The worst thing was, Raven wasn't even sure why the fad irritated her so much. There were much more asinine things out there. But something about that fad was driving her nuts.

At the very least, there was Starfire, who sometimes was able to understand her.... or so Raven thought until she returned one day from the market with plastic cow-horns on her head a bell around her neck.

Raven groaned at the sight of his friend and stormed out of the common room, pushing away few streamers, still lingering after the new year's party.

She closed door to her room behind her and embraced the darkness and silence that allowed her to meditate and focus her powers...

And then she heard the faint jingling of the cowbells from behind the wall.

The purple flames on the candles around her shot up to the ceiling, as Raven tried to control her irritation.

She barked and grabbed her mirror, disappearing into her private void that extinguished the flames she ignited.

Raven walked down the floating rocks that paved her dimension, encased in darkness, illuminated by just few stars and distant galaxies. The ravens flew away in fear, as she glided forward, hoping to find some peace and quiet here...

- Hiya!

But of course, in this realm, she was never truly alone.

A woman dressed in pink jumped from behind a nearby rock, causing Raven to cease her movement just for a while, before she promptly decided to ignore her own emoticlone.

- Oh come on, you haven't been here for ages! - the jovial embodiment of happiness continued - We've been having SO much fun here!

- Great. Leave me alone.

But before she could react, Pink grabbed her and steered her off-path, flying down a different route, loudly announcing their presence.

- Hey guys. looks who's here! - she shouted, waving the arm she wasn't using to maneuver Raven between rocks.

- Oh, great, our big sister... - the Orange mumbled from behind a couch-shaped rock

- Have-have we done something wrong? - the timid Graphite pulled over her cloak

- Judging from your prolonged absence, something extraordinary must have happened. - Yellow interjected, eyeing Raven with curious stare.

Raven let out another groan.

- It's nothing. Leave me-

- Oh, is it about you-know-who?

Violet's sly and suggestive voice prompted Raven to pause mid-turn. her eye twitched.

- Ooh, very brave of you to tackle the most common problem of your visits! - Green added at once. - He can be annoying...

- I've said...

A blast of energy erupted around her, as Raven turned away, but couldn't finish her sentence. There was one emotion left, and she knew very well what can summon her, and it was already too late.

- Come on, say it.

Red spoke, gleaming with a subtle, yet unmistakeable triumph in her voice.

- I'm done with you. - Raven answered and continued her walk, before being predictably stopped again

- Oh sure, is this why you have almost brought me back? - she sneered - And for such petty reason...

- Ooh, tell us, tell us! - Pink chimed in, before being brought aside by Yellow

- Let me do it...

Red spoke and spread her arms, giving the other emoticlones chance to glimpse into what little she have seen.

- That... that is quite an insignificant reason to bring back *her* - Yellow judged - Are you sure it's adequate?

- I'm just afraid this will backfire... - Graphite meeped from behind her

- But I was right - Violet added - It is about him...

- ENOUGH!

Raven burst with energy, silencing her living emotions.

- We just want you to say it, so we can... help you.

The Red emoticlone stood in her way, finally making her stop. Her presence cast a shadow of fear on the lesser creatures of this realm, and even some other emoticlones that dared not to approach her. Red's voice was strangely polite, though Raven knew she must have an ulterior motive behind it.

- And you know what the answer to your problem is.

Anger reached her arm and waited for Raven's response. She couldn't meet her eyes. She was right, of course, but at the same time, embracing the violent and unpredictable part of her nature, reminding her of her father's legacy filled her with disgust...

- But you will not be alone with it. - Violet suddenly joined.

- And while it may look odd, this might be an opportunity to broaden your horizons. - Yellow continued.

- And let's face it, you've done weirder things, but you never cowered away! - Green shouted.

- Besides, it's gonna be so much fun! - Pink smiled.

Raven lifted her hood and looked at the other emoticlones, all awaiting her decision.

Knowing she's delaying the inevitable, with a heavy sigh, Raven made her decision.

===============

Garfield knew better not to interrupt Raven. He has made that mistake a few times in his life, and he still had his life only because Raven was his friend.

Still, seeing her angry was painful, thought not as much as the silent treatment he was getting from her. Beast Boy hesitated for a moment, and just before he was about to knock on her doors, he stopped himself.

With a sigh, he turned around and returned to his room, finding someone already inside.

At first, Garfield thought he was dreaming. But after a few blinks, he realised that the marvellous, dreamy sight in front of his eyes was real, and it made his heart skip a beat.

Raven's trademark, dark-blue attire was gone, replaced by a white costume dotted with black-and-brown spots. Her long legs were covered in fishnets with the same pattern, and as his eyes travelled up, he realised what was exerting the gravitational force that was pulling him that way...

The skin-tight costume had changed his perception, perhaps, but even then, Raven' nipples were just a fraction of an inch away from slipping, as her breast were simply too big to stay hidden in any article of clothing.

And when he looked at her horned head again, he noticed a faint smile on her face, contrasting so much with her demeanour over the past few days. She shifted her legs, spreading them slightly, giving him just a small tease of what was to come, and with her eyes fixated at him, she spoke.

- Moo, I guess.

- Oh, momma!

And before she knew it, Beast Boy leapt onto her with the grace and agility of a frog, diving between her enlarged breasts, and feeling the delicate, cushioning texture engulf his head almost entirely. And at the same time, with his fingers digging into the material, he freed Raven's breasts, hungrily kissing each square inch of her body as if his life depended on it.

- Gar... - Raven moans, feeling her boyfriend wriggling against her bosom

- I see someone has changed her mind...

- You can say that... - Raven replied, hiding the moan that was about to escape her lips.

- I guess you took Starfire's approach and visited the market? - Beast Boy joked, between his kisses - Or, wait, no, you ordered it online so no one will know, right?

- Let's just say I didn't have to order it...

For a moment, Beast Boy pondered the meaning of her words, until he realised that he has seen her outfit once before. Well, without the black-and-brown blots. And as the realisation dawned on him, he let out a gasp, as Raven's eyes glowed white.

Only one of the spots was brown. There was a pink, yellow, green one...

Her most powerful form, the combination of all of her emotions sat on his bed, emanating raw magical, warm energy that could easily vaporise him if she wanted to. Beast Boy suspected the horns weren't plastic either, and that he has just made a few snarky jokes to a demonic sorceress orders of magnitude more powerful than him.

And yet, she was still smiling.

- I just... - Raven swallowed - Couldn't stand you ogling all those cartoon anime girls on-line, in their stupid cow costumes. So I had to fight fire with fire.

- Aww... - Beast Boy cooed - Is my Raven jealous?

- YES. - the demon spoke in deep, rumbling voice that shook some of the objects on the shelves.

The spots on her White costumes suddenly glowed with ominous, red aura, as blood in Garfield's veins froze.

Her face was inches away from his, and only when she felt his hastened breath, she calmed down, and her spots returned to their original colours, just as the red aura disappeared from her eyes. She reached her hands and cupped his face, glad that he did not back away, as her anger overtook her. Their lips met, and Raven poured her apologies into him in a long, delicate kiss.

- And you will have to pay for it. - she smiled, giving Garfield clear sign she was everything under control, including him.

- Rae... - Garfield whined - You-you know I'd never... they... they don't mean anything...

- Then prove it.

Raven used the moment of hesitation to engulf him and with one sharp move of her hands and her magic, she ripped his clothes to shreds and brought her lover closer to her. With his shorts gone, Raven's eyes fixated on his cock, and had to restrain herself from licking her lips, as its head came closer and closer to her face. But of course neither of them would settle on just a blowjob, given the magic Raven cast upon herself.

Beast Boy jumped onto her breasts again, peppering them with plethora of hungry, ravenous kisses. Knowing already her bosom by heart, he know had a whole new territory to explore, and he did that with impeccable dedication. But as his lips closed around her nipple, he received a taste of something unexpected. His eyes widened, and met hers, as sweet substance made contact with his tongue. The sly smile on her lips remained, but as Beast Boy began lapping her milk, her face was torn with a new grimace he hasn't seen yet, and Raven was more than eager to experience.

Garfield moved from one nipple to the other, wishing he could transform into some creature with two heads. As Raven squirmed and moaned underneath him, he wondered what will happen soon, and with his hand manoeuvring between her thighs, he was determined to discovered that.

Her back arched, as his fingers reached her wet spot and slipped underneath her costume, just as his tongue coiled around her nipple again. Though she was trying to contain her emotions, the spots on her costume glowed in violet with each kiss and delicate move of his fingers against or inside her sex, and soon, Raven was thrashing underneath him, ready to burst.

And when she did, it was not with energy, but with milk that filled Beast Boy's mouth, in an act that surprised both of them.

Raven quaked for a few more minutes, coating his fingers with her juices he now lapped as eagerly as the new one she produced for him. Beast Boy made sure to wait until she was looking at him when he licked his lips, tasting both.

- Come'ere, I'm thirsty too... - she huffed, and settled herself amongst the pillows, ready to invite him.

Beast Boy let out a dreamy sigh, as his cock slid between her breasts, engulfing him completely with the delicate, heavenly texture only her breasts could provide. And when Raven gently pushed her mounds together, she added the missing part of friction, making Beast Boy throw his head back, even though he hasn't moved an inch.

But as he looked down at his girlfriend, he met her unusually frisky eyes, and with that, he flexed his muscles. Next thing she knew, his hands were on her horns, and he pushed his hips forward, diving deep into her bosom.

His action was a bit sudden and Raven's eyes opened wide when she realised that her head was pulled forward and that his twitching tip was now a fraction of an inch from her lips. And as she was about to open them, he pulled back and began his thrusts, mewling and moaning with each one, as pleasure slowly engulfed him.

He was in trance, brought by the alluring sight of his girlfriend and her magically enlarged bosom and thge reward they were leaking. And as Raven promised, she wanted one of her own: now, with every rapid thrust, her tongue lapped a drop or two of his pre-cum, in turn only generating more samples of what was to come. Raven was pretty sure what was his plan, but she opened her lips wide anyway, hoping to catch at least some of his oncoming climax.

- Rae...Rae... I LOVE YOU!

And with that proclamation, beast Boy dived balls-deep between her magically enlarged breasts, letting her warmth and size cover them as well, which only strengthened his orgasm. Raven yelped when the first stream of his seed flooded her mouth, and closed her mouth just in time to suck a bit more, even though she knew what was the sight he wanted to see.

As he pulled back, his cock was still twitching, spurting more and more of his virility in the valley between her mounds, until it slowly started to spill down, glazing her breasts with the sticky proof of his devotion.

And just as he thought he has seen it all, Raven dragged her finger across her breasts, hoping to catch as much of his cum as possible before it all drips to the bed. she parted her fingers to show the sticky strands between them before she closed her lips around them and made him collapse to his back from the simple act of tasting him.

- That was fun - she spoke, as most of his seed made it to her lips. - But you know what every cow needs, right?

Raven asked, lapping the last bit of cum from her tits. She leaned forward and with the same low, salacious tone as before, whispered the words that Beast Boy already had on his mind.

- Her bull...

His green body grew in a split of second, transforming him, but not in the form of the animal Raven expected. While his head became elongated and grew bovine horns, his torso and arms remained human, though much more muscular, and only the addition of hooves on his legs and a tail truly made her realise what he was now: a minotaur.

But of course, hooves and tail was not what piqued Raven's interest the most, as her eyes looked down at the figure towering over her.

This time, she could not stop herself and her lust; Raven licked a small droplet of drool that formed on her lips, and reached her hand to experience the enormous, throbbing organ whose glistening head was now once more inches away from her lips.

But her lover didn't want another blowjob. As steam-like cloud escaped his nostrils, Beast Boy grabbed her and effortlessly slammed her onto his cock, watching as the sorceress lets out a silent moan.

When he went down on her, Raven tried to maintain at least some dignity. But now, as her sex was filled completely with his monstrous cock, she threw all of the pretence away and babbled her lover's name, while the blots on her costume pulse violet each time his cock reached her depths, time after time, depraving her of common sense, as bliss slowly overtook her mind.

But not until she has managed to speak one last wish.

- D-Do what you are supposed to!

Raven screamed, her voice vibrating with the erratic thrusts her entire body was subjected to.

- Mate me! Breed me!

Another roar escaped his mouth, and Raven took a gasp of air just in time to expel it, as Beast Boy shoved himself deeper inside her throbbing pussy that before, firmly positioning himself as far as possible, right against her core, he now bathed in first deluge of his seed. And with his thick, monster cock forming an air-tight seal, not a drop of his virility could leak out, and was forced up into her womb. What would have been impossible for any other man became a child's play for him, letting Raven experience the impossible.

And with the flood of his warm seed filling her, came her orgasm, making Raven thrash around his cock, as if she was a puppet on his mercy. With each wave that flooded and promptly overflowed her sex, came a new sensation of being filled and claimed, and in turn, each simultaneously extinguished fire in her loins, and set it anew...

At some point, Raven fell back to the bed, feeling her pussy pulse with each after-wave of her climax, while Beast Boy's seed oozed onto the bed. She wasn't sure how long her after-glow lasted, but she knew what brought her back to her senses.

Her breasts were kissed again, with the same tender and care the minotaur would never learn. Beast Boy was his regular self, taking care of her body his monstrous form has neglected, listening to her breath slowly becoming less and less erratic.

She looked up and their eyes met, while Garfield locked his lips around her nipple again, drinking her orgasm.

- Hey.

- Hey. - she replied - I guess people were right, those cow costumes do work.

- Rae, you could dress like a platypus and you'd be sexy.

Raven smiled, and her hand reached to her lover's cheek, prompting him to leave her nipple.

Their lips met again, and though she thought she would be tired by now, she welcomed him again, especially as his hands now roamed her thighs and ass.

She let out another moan, seemingly far louder than a moment before, but maybe it was because her voice wasn't drowned by the beast's low grunts, but Garfield's borderline cute huffs.

And even though he was now much shorter and thinner than before, somehow Raven felt fuller than when a giant minotaur ravaged her. Maybe it was his kisses, dotting her breasts and lapping her milky fluid, maybe it was his delicate, but steady grip of his hands on her thighs... or maybe it was the unspoken promise they mentioned...

As they kept coming closer, the empath suddenly grabbed his cheeks and pulled him against her, not to kiss, but to find emotions raging in his mind. And she found them - those of love, protection, dedication and responsibility, which easily pushed her to the edge...

She cried out his name just as he flooded her again, this time with his essence, and even though Raven knew it was impossible, she somehow felt the difference in warmth that filled her sex.

As the two breathed in the same air, Raven gently moved her hand between her body, feeling the warmth of his body above her, and his cock and seed inside. She could undo the spell right now, and change their lives forever... And she had to admit, it would be a very apt moment... but then again, she would rob them of many, many heated moments like these.

It's a good thing she buddied up with Yellow as much as with Violet for this ride.

The two lay ion each other's arms for quite some time, savouring each other's scents and warmth, until Raven found strength and motivation to speak.

- So, got any more silly internet memes trending?

Beast Boy smiled and reached for his phone.

=============

Winter this year was snow-less, rainy and mild, like for the past half a decade or so. But that only made the New Year's eve less cumbersome, as it meant less time traversing through mounds of snow. Plus, it meant the Titans' Tower rooftop wasn't off limits.

- I thought this place, at this time would be the worst to meditate. - Beast Boy spoke - The whole sky's gonna be on fire in five minutes.

- Yeah, but maybe I wanted to watch.

He sat next to her, listening to far-away sounds of concerts and premature celebration. He scooted a few inches closer to her, and let out a short meep when her cape covered him.

- I wonder what this year will bring us. - he spoke, ruining the quiet, charming moment.

- I do - Raven answered quickly. - This year is gonna be of the tiger.

Raven spoke and undid a button of her cape that joined the two, freeing her breasts. Beast Boy swallowed loudly, seeing the moonlight shining onto her skin, and making her bosom look bigger with no additional magic required.

- Why don't we practice, kitty?

And with that, the night's air was filled with a powerful roar of a predator cat that has just found its very willing prey.

[heyheshi]

Roommates...?

1.7k words

written and uploaded: July 30, 2020

🦋 - fluff

Please like and reblog! Also please don't post my writings anywhere!

Here's your request! Hope you like it!

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 3

_________

It has been almost a week since the last time you've seen Harry and you have to admit - he wasn't bad at all. You expected him to be like the other famous people who think that the world revolves around them but well he is the exact opposite.

He's so down to earth and open-minded about everything, you almost forgot that he's a celebrity during your meal! He was so eager to listen and learn about the town he's going to be staying in.

He's also a proper gentleman. It's common to have your door open up for you if you're on the passenger's seat but what surprises you was that after you parked the car outside of the resto, he went around the car to open up your door - the driver's door!

It didn't stop that, he opened the door of the resto for you and let you in first. Even pulled back your chair for you! The boyfriends of your other friends would be ashamed if they saw him.

Also, he made sure that you won't pay a cent and told you that you can only give the tip - which by the way was also generously given by him already.

You probably looked like a couple that day and you can't deny the fact that you found him interesting... and cute... and really handsome even though he didn't say much about himself and neither do you - just the basics. No one can know that you're infatuated by him, especially your cousin - who for sure is gonna rub the car's magic on you, plus you dropped him off his hotel after you ate.

But it didn't stop you from typing his name on your search engine and looking at his pictures. What can you say, he's an eye candy and you probably won't see him again since you live in the small village of your town and he would probably leave after a few days after all.

But how wrong could you be? Very, super, extremely, tremendously and all the adverb you can think of that have the same meaning as 'so so so wrong'.

You were carrying a tray of your best selling bagels when you saw a familiar head ordering on the counter from the glass on the door of the kitchen.

It's not like you didn't like seeing him - it's just that you're sure that you're going to be all blushy and shy in front of him after developing a crush on the guy.

"2 bagels and a classic tea!", the voice from intercom can be heard through the kitchen and that's when you know that you have to face heaven - oh you mean Harry, soon.

You made a beeline to the pastry display counter with your head hanging low hoping that he wouldn't see you but too late for that.

"Y/N! I didn't know you work here!", well there goes the prince charming, smiling brightly at you while you have to basically snap yourself out of your thoughts.

"Oh, she owns this bakery along with a few other branches.", one of your employees, Kayla, replied to him seeing as you won't be talking anytime soon, then she winked at you.

"Really?!", Harry walked in front of the display counter to talk to you as you finished displaying all the bagels out.

"Yeah, um well you know I own a bakery and this is my first shop, my main outlet.", you smiled a little trying so hard not to blurt anything embarrassing in front of him.

"You look nice.", Harry said but quickly corrected himself trying to play it cool, "what I meant was it was nice seeing you and this place looks cozily chic."

"Thank you. I try, really.", your brain is screaming to not overthink what he said but your cheeks and ear betrayed you, "why don't you take a seat, there's a cute table near the corner if you want some privacy."

"Will you join me? I mean you're the owner and well you're my only friend here in this town so far.", friend - oh well at least you two are friends... right? You really need to shut up now. This isn't how you were acting when you first met him!

"Of course! I'm done working anyway."

"Great! I'll be right there!", with that, he nods his head and strutted to the table on the far end of your shop.

You quickly removed your apron and insisted on bringing his order to him, not before stealing a muffin and a cookie from the kitchen, and getting your water bottle from your bag.

"So how are you liking it here?", you asked Harry while slowly placing his meal on the table for him.

"It's great! I quite like it here actually, my hotel was in the busier part of the town but I don't mind that much. I'm glad I discovered this little village to escape.", Harry explained, taking a bite on the bagel you just made, "mhmm, now I know why this is your best selling pastry."

You laughed at him while shrugging, "thank you, it was a family recipe and I don't let anyone make that bagel, they can make the other pastries but not that one - too sacred."

"I know exactly what you're talking about, it's like writing a song but not letting anyone hear it because it was your baby," H laughed at his own words, "oh, this tea reminds me of how my mum makes my tea, now I miss her.", his face now sporting an overly exaggerated pout after taking a sip of his tea and both of your laughs can be heard from a few tables down.

"Are you planning on going home?", you didn't mean to intrude, you're just curious.

"Oh, so you want me out now? Should've killed you that day!", he joked. If it was another guy, you would've left your seat and never look back but this was Harry we're talking about - and this is not a date.

"Wh- no! I was just asking! Plus we love having you here! You're welcome in our town!", if your mouth hasn't said anything then you wouldn't be blushing and Harry wouldn't be holding his stomach from laughing so hard.

"Oh, so now you love me, huh? That's not what you were saying before!", he was like a switch, before he was laughing so hard bit now his face is stoic without any trace of anything.

"No, what I me-"

"Just kidding! Should've seen your face, love!", now he's back on cackling and he looks adorable and cuddly - shut up Y/N!

"That's not funny...", you guilt-tripped him with your distressed and agitated face.

"I'm sorry!", H was still laughing while putting his hands in the air while you only crossed your arms in your chest.

You two made small talk while scarfing down your foods and asked him the question you didn't know if it should make you ecstatic or nervous about what's to come.

"Why did you said our village is your escape? I thought you already did that when you decided to stay here in our town?", you finished your cookie and drank your water.

"Dunno, this place is peaceful. The main town is great but a lot of fans have been waiting outside of the hotel and I feel like I'm not having the privacy I was looking for the first place, you know?"

"I'm sorry about that. I know this is not an excuse but no celebrity has ever stayed this long in our town that's why they're probably like that...", you looked at him with sympathy in your eyes.

"It's all good. I talked to my friend Jeff about it and he told me that if I'm planning on staying here longer then I should find a place - like a room or an apartment to stay and that's how I found this shop. I was strolling, I don't trust the internet ads, I'd like to look for one myself and that brought me to your neighborhood.", Harry explained and the only words that registered on your mind were "staying here longer".

"That's probably the best idea, not staying long in a hotel - I mean. How long do you think you're staying? Have you found a place?"

"For a few months most definitely. There are barely paps in here and I'm also planning on writing a few of my songs here... and sadly I haven't. Most apartments are on the commercial part of the town and I'm finding somewhere quiet. This kind of neighborhood perhaps.", he explained to you and you cannot stop your mouth from blurting out the next few words.

"I just bought a house a few blocks in this village and well I have an extra room...", well that was fast, your mind screams at you while you shut your eyes tightly.

"Are you offering me to be your roommate or housemate? I don't wanna seem desperate but you're pretty much the only person I know in here and I like this village so I'm not turning your offer down.", Harry eagerly replied to you but still keeping his cool intact.

"I think I am..."

"Really? Wow, thank you! Don't worry, I'm a good roommate - if the offer is still valid!", you and Harry both chuckled at that while standing in your seats.

"Well then, why don't I take you on a tour and show you the house? The village is full of families it's really peaceful here. And I'm not always home so you won't be bothered by me!", you joked at him as you went back to the shop's kitchen to get your things and say goodbye to your employees.

"Oh I know I'm the one who'll be bothering you a lot!", Harry opened the door for you as he joked.

"We'll see!", you just winked at him and walked in front of him while he jogged to catch up to you.

You introduced Harry to the village and showed him around your house. Hopefully, he'd like your home enough to be roommates with you.

_____

[purplesurveys]

1267

cds.

do you still buy physical copies of cds?  I stopped for many years but recently started again.

have you ever listened to a cd for the first time and loved every track?  I was like this with Petals for Armor, Flowers for Vases, and After Laughter; I’m just a super big fan of anything Hayley Williams and Paramore put out.

name an artist who always comes out with great albums:  I mean I’m gonna be biased and say Paramore...

how long can you listen to a cd without getting sick of it?  I don’t really listen to CDs per se, I guess, so I dunno if I can answer this. When I want to music, and a particular artist, I usually pick a playlist composed of songs from different albums.

do you know any good places on the internet to get free downloads of whole albums?  I wouldn’t be able to refer you to one, come to think of it.

what was the last cd you bought?  My Butter/Permission to Dance set.

have you ever gotten a cd signed by the artist?  Nope.

name cds that are in your car right now or would be in your car if you had one: I don’t keep CDs in my car just because I get my music played by connecting my phone to the Bluetooth; but I believe for the longest time I had a Beyoncé album in the CD slot before I took it out. 

your hair.

describe your hair style:  It’s wavy and layered is the most I can say about it. I don’t style it often.

when was the last time you got a haircut?  Around the start or mid-August, I think? I don’t remember when exactly; but it was very recent.

is your hair the only thing you drastically change?  I never do drastically change it to begin with. The only things I do with it are 1) let it grow out, 2) have it trimmed to my collarbones once a year.

would you rather have brown, blonde, or black hair (not your natural)? I have black hair, but it would be interesting to go brown.

what's the shortest you've ever had your hair?  Up to below my ears.

have you ever had bangs?  I currently have bangs and am more than sick of them already ath this point.

if not, do you plan on ever getting them // if you have them, do you plan on growing them out?  Yeah, for the latter.

fantasies.

what do you fantasize about most often?  How my life could’ve turned out if we weren’t in a pandemic is definitely one of them. Would I have been able to get the same job? Remain in the relationship I used to be in and maybe have even gotten better at handling it? What cities could I have possibly already traveled to with my own money?

if your last fantasy came true, how happy would you be?  That would be traveling to South Korea, and I would be over the moon.

how much do you fantasize?  Mmm not very often since my work takes up most of my headspace. I usually daydream before bed, I think.

or am i the only one who does?  Definitely not.

have you ever told anyone who has been in your fantasy about it?  I mean, I just always tell Angela and Reena that I can’t wait to go to Korea with them. But I don’t fantasize about irls in the way that I think you mean.

would you rather fantasize about your ex or the hottest teacher in your school for the rest of your life?  I don’t ever want to think of my ex in that way anymore and I’m not in school.

do you often find yourself fantasizing about things/people you know you shouldn't?  I mean I will fantasize about certain celebrities but idk if that falls as a should/shouldn’t thing.

your ex.

who did the most damage in your preexisting relationship?  I think we both showed our worst weaknesses towards one another. But by the end of it, I will say she inflicted more damage onto me.

if you were/are single, would you have sex with them?  Um at this point, no. I barely think about sex anyway.

would/did you give this person your virginity? I did. My feelings for her today aside, I don’t regret it; I trusted her in that moment and I wouldn’t take that away from me.

do you still miss the good times with them?  Only in the sense that she used to be my best friend for an extremely long period of time and nearly all the great memories from my past were made with her. do you still talk often? how often?  Oh not at all. I haven’t kept in touch since the last day of 2020. did you make a big deal about the break up?  Yeah, I was definitely the more reactive one and it lasted for a couple of months. She bounced as soon as she got out of the relationship and I wish I had gotten the hint sooner.

how long did it take you to get over them?  Around 6 or 7 months. I really thought it would take so much longer.

if you could tell them one thing, what would it be:  I have nothing to say.

the song you're listening to/the song that's stuck in your head/any song you want to talk about

favorite lyric in the song:  “Where there is hope, there is hardship.”

what is the song?  It’s a song called Sea.

artist:  BTS.

how'd you get introduced to this song?  It was briefly played in one of their docu-series; I just can’t remember which one. Anyway, I instantly took a liking since it isn’t their usual sound, so I wanted to look it up; and it made a lot more sense when I learned it was initially meant to be a solo for one of the members.

if you could perfectly play this on any instrument, which instrument would it be?  Oh this song would be perfect on a violin.

would you have sex with the artist/anyone in the band? Why does everything always revolve around sex for some people?? < LOL same question but to answer it anyway, hahahahaha yes

can you relate to the lyrics?  Not in the manner in which it was written, but I do have my own interpretation of it that I am able to relate with a lot. The song definitely gets me emotional.

name a friend that you think would like it:  Angela, only because I know she already does like it hahaha. In general, though, K-Pop is still quite polarizing so idk if any of my friends outside of the K-Pop bubble would appreciate it.

would you rather have sex to this song or witness your dad singing it to your friends?  Uhm, maybe the latter because I think it would be adorable in a very dorky way

favorite restaurant.

how many times have you been to this place?  Countless times, but they were always with my ex. I need to revisit that place just by myself lol.

where is it located?  It has multiple branches across the metro but the one I used to frequent is the one at UPTC.

when was the first time you came here?  I have no idea but I think the first time was with my mom and siblings actually. A rough guess would be...2016? or maybe 2017.

what's the name of the restaurant?  Yabuuuu.

what kind of atmosphere does it have?  On the sophisticated sidde but still casual and homey, especially since it offers unlimited rice and sides and you can always just call on a server to dump a scoop of rice or lettuce or whatever when you’ve run out of them haha.

does it have a bar? No, but if I remember correctly they do offer a few alcoholic drinks.

have you ever been here for a birthday?  Yes, for my 21st birthday. I went with Angela.

what do you order when you're here?  I get their rosu set, which is katsu with a strip of fat.

are they famous for any drinks?  No.

have you ever gone here with your significant other?  Many times. It was our favorite restaurant.

if it shut down (if its a chain, the entire chain) permanently, how sad would you be?  That would soooo shitty. I’d order a meal everyday until it disappears forever lol.

would you work here?  No. I love the brand, but not so desperately so as to work for them haha.

favorite teacher

(I don’t really have one, but I’ll refer to the first good professor that popped in my head.)

how old is this person?  I have no clue but I would guess he’s anywhere in the mid-20s to early-30s range.

name:  HAHAHAHAHA I don’t actually remember his name anymore...oh no...but he was my prof in my international relations class.

are they married?  I know he has a boyfriend, not sure about his relationship status. That’s not of my business to know.

would you marry them?  Well, no.

do they have kids?  I’m fairly certain he doesn’t.

have you ever seen them out of school?  Not me but I know some of my college friends have. It’s how I heard he has a boyfriend lol.

what's so great about them that makes them your favorite?  He was clearly very passionate about our subject and he was able to explain concepts helpfully and in a way that anybody can appreciate, considering I wasn’t even majoring in the course he taught.

are they more laidback about teaching or strict?  Laidback.

do they run any clubs or coach any sports?  Not that I know of.

what's their personality like?  Approachable, friendly.

if they weren't a teacher, what do you think would be a good profession for them?  Political analyst.

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: A Little Romance

Dorothy and Blanche are surprised to learn Rose’s new boyfriend is a little person, but Rose is the one really struggling with it.

Picture It...

Sophia is packing for a trip, stuffing clam sauce into her suitcase. She’s supposed to visit her son Phil for her grandson’s college graduation, but doesn’t trust his family to feed her. Rose enters, dressed to the nines for a date, and offers to drive Sophia to the airport. Blanche and Dorothy want to know who her new squeeze is, and she says he’s a psychiatrist at her grief center named Jonathan Newman. She’s strangely evasive when the other Girls ask when they can meet him.

BLANCHE: Dorothy, I’ve just discovered a great new way to meet more men. SOPHIA: More men? You’re gonna need a turnstile in your bedroom.

Some time later, Rose is furious with Blanche, who invited Dr. Newman to dinner at their house without discussing it with Rose first. Blanche says Rose kept putting it off, which Rose denies before stomping out with a scowl. While setting the table on the lanai, Blanche tells Dorothy that how Dr. Newman analyzed her dreams and deemed them “sexual.” What a surprise. There’s a ring of the bell, and Blanche initially mistakes the person on the doorstep for one of the neighborhood kids.

The bell rings again, and Dorothy answers this time. Now the caller gets to introduce himself: Dr. Jonathan Newman. Dorothy’s initially disconcerted to see he’s a little person, but quickly composes herself. Blanche, however, thoroughly embarrasses herself by accusing Rose of hiring a little person to “teach her a lesson.” (Apparently not one in sensitivity.) Dorothy takes Blanche away to collect herself, and Blanche is determined to be a good hostess from then, but flubs it when offering Jonathan shrimp. Jonathan, for his part, says he looks forward to teasing Blanche.

DOROTHY: Why don’t we just start dinner? JONATHAN: Oh good, what are we having? DOROTHY: . . . short ribs.

Later that night, Jonathan entertains the Girls with anecdotes after dinner, and impresses them with his positive attitude. Blanche inadvertently makes another bad joke, and Jonathan teases her about it. He tells her not to be self-conscious in front of him, as he’s perfectly content with who he is. He goes into the kitchen with Rose to fix coffee, and Blanche and Dorothy express their approval.

Sophia unexpectedly returns home: Phil’s son failed, so there was no graduation to attend. Jonathan enters and the Girls introduce him. Sophia says, “I hope this doesn’t sound rude,” which leads to Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy preemptively cringing in horror. But she just says that she’s very tired, so won’t be up for socializing, and asks Jonathan to excuse her. Jonathan departs, asking Rose if they can have dinner the next night. Rose drops the bomb: She thinks Jonathan is going to propose marriage to her.

They ask how she feels about that, and Rose admits that she’s embarrassed about his height, and she’s not sure she can get past it. Blanche tells a story about being in a relationship with a man she was forbidden to date as a young lady in the South. Dorothy assumes Blanche’s date was Black, but no: He was from New Jersey. Rose, meanwhile, still doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She goes to her room, and the other Girls leave her alone. Rose falls asleep.

Cue the dream sequence. It’s Rose’s wedding day, and Blanche and Dorothy go to fetch her from her room. Rose is still not sure about whether she should marry Jonathan. Blanche and Dorothy profess they’ve never noticed Jonathan’s size, while Sophia enters in a priest’s outfit, as she’ll be performing the ceremony. Then someone else arrives (from Rose’s closet, apparently): Rose’s late father. Rose is surprised to see he’s a little person, and Daddy Lindstrom says this is because he’s making a point about love. He tells Rose to follow her heart, as no one can predict the future.

ROSE: Wherever we go, people stare at him. DREAM!BLANCHE: Maybe they’re staring at you, honey. ROSE: At me? DREAM!BLANCHE: Oh, only a good friend would tell you this, Rose, but that color you dye your hair? Honey, that hasn’t existed since they discontinued the Ford Falcon.

Blanche suddenly announces that there’s someone at the wedding who can: Psychic Jeane Dixon, making a cameo appearance. She proceeds to spout some predictions about the future that, as of 2021, are not likely to come true before being hustled offscreen. Jonathan enters, and says that he and Rose can face any problem together. Rose makes up her mind and agrees to marry him. The other Girls come in to wake her up, and she tells them she’s decided to keep seeing Jonathan.

The next night, Rose and Jonathan have dinner at a French restaurant, and Jonathan tells her they need to talk about a problem with their relationship. He says that, while he cares about her, he doesn’t think their relationship can go on without acceptance. Rose protests that she doesn’t care about his height. Jonathan, on the other hand, meant something else: He can’t see Rose anymore because she’s not Jewish. Rose flips out, shouting at Jonathan in view of the restaurant, until he cracks a joke that has them both laughing. She apologizes and says she’s going to miss Jonathan, and he’ll miss her too. A waiter then comes over and asks precisely the wrong question:

WAITER: How was the shrimp? ROSE: Unfortunately, I’ll never know. You see, he’s Jewish and we can’t see each other anymore.

“May I take your height-- HAT?”

Let it be known that, when it comes to episodes of the show that cover minority issues, LGBTQ topics, or people with disabilities, I will do my darnedest to find reviews or analyses of them from people who fall within those categories. For example, there’s a lot of material from the gay and lesbian fandom regarding the episodes that showcase gay and lesbian characters, and I’ll link to and quote their work in the respective recaps rather than attempt to insert my own opinions for the most part.

This is because I realize that, as a non-disabled, heterosexual, cisgender, white woman; I am not in a good position to review any of these issues. My voice on these topics counts for very little.

That being said, I scoured the internet looking for a review or analysis of this episode by a little person, and I couldn’t find one. If you know of any analyses made by anyone with better knowledge on the topic than I have, please send them to me in a DM and I will happily revise this recap.

So yeah, this episode pretty much revolves around Dr. Jonathan Newman being a little person. It’s the sole source of conflict from Rose’s side in their relationship, and it was at the root of most of the jokes. To the episode’s credit, most of it is at the expense of Blanche and Rose, rather than Jonathan himself. If this were made in a perfect world, his height wouldn’t come into play at all, but the episode tries its hardest to mitigate any accusations of ill intent by making him such a lovely character.

Jonathan is surprisingly gracious and good-humored about the Girls’ less than sensitive remarks, teasing Blanche to help put her at ease. While Rose’s concerns about their relationship are portrayed seriously, the episode makes it very clear that she’s the one with the problem, and not Jonathan. I would have liked to have his religion foreshadowed a bit earlier but at least it adds a little depth to his character. Even Sophia, whose whole B-plot this week is basically just “Phil’s family is weird” is polite to him.

DOROTHY: Ma, why are you taking all this food to Phil’s? SOPHIA: Because the only time your brother’s wife goes into the kitchen, it’s to get a cold beer. DOROTHY: Ma, she has no time to cook. She works all day. SOPHIA: Welding. My son married a welder. Too bad she didn’t weld his zipper shut. They got ten kids they can’t afford.

In fact, he’s almost too good. It’s as though, even at the time, the writers wanted to counterbalance the reliance on his height in the jokes by making him one of the most perfect men ever. He’s interesting, funny, positive, well-educated (he mentions going to Harvard), and most importantly, he assuages everyone’s fears about making any comments about his height. It’s as if the writers are giving themselves permission to make the jokes by making the character around whom they are based as wonderful as possible.

That’s not to say the episode handles it subject matter in a completely inoffensive manner. The most tasteless joke of the episode, I think, is the “How was the shrimp?” line, but a close second is probably this one from Sophia, when she comes to check on Rose after her dream and sees Rose clutching her pillow:

SOPHIA: What’s going on? BLANCHE: Oh, Rose has decided to keep on seeing Jonathan. SOPHIA: Fine. *beat* We’re all adults here. Let the man out of the pillowcase. We don’t mind if he sleeps over.

You know what’s really weird? This is not the first time Rose has referenced dating a little person. Remember that pin I put up a few episodes ago? Let’s take it down and address Rose talking about Eddie. While Sophia is the only person to refer to Jonathan by an offensive slur, they use it liberally in this clip, so consider it a trigger warning:

It’s beyond weird to me that they have this whole joke about Rose dating a little person that they play completely for laughs, only to take it seriously a few episodes later. That’s a very specific scenario to repeat -- especially since Rose says she didn’t reject Eddie because of his size at all, but because she couldn’t date anyone in show biz. So what changed, huh, Rose?

There is one thing about this episode that bugs me irrespective of Dr. Newman’s height: Rose thinks Jonathan is going to propose to her even though they aren’t yet seriously dating and (if her last line of the episode is any indication) haven’t even slept together. This is something that I find weird about these ladies’ relationships. Kate got married after only six months of dating, Blanche was prepared to marry Harry after only one week, and now Rose thinks her beau of three weeks with whom she’s only been on five dates wants to marry her.

I mean, were the 80s really that different? Did people really go to the altar so fast that this seems plausible to anyone? I’m genuinely asking because, for all I know, this was common at the time.

I love how weird the dream sequence is in this episode. It made sense, in the way that some dreams seem to follow some kind of recognizable sequence, but there are really weird parts too. The fact that Sophia and Mr. Lindstrom enter the room through Rose’s closet, Blanche and Dorothy speak in chirpy voices, and there’s a weird celebrity cameo. It definitely feels dreamlike to say at the end of the scene, “WTF was Jeane Dixon doing there?”

By the way, it’s too bad none of Dixon’s predictions will come true. It would have been very interesting to see Brooke Shields and Lady Diana in a Broadway musical comedy.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

You really can’t beat Blanche’s awkwardness.

[espship18]

Kpop ship for K anon

Hi everyone! It’s nearly been a week since I’ve posted and I apologize, between work and family, things get crazy! I have a ship for an anon who goes by ‘K’, so K, I hope you’re reading, and let’s get into it!

Based off of your request, I gathered these things about you: 

You’re 5′6

You’re Asian American 

You have long and wavy brown hair that has an ombre effect

Your fashion style is soft grunge 

Virgo and ISFJ personality

You can be introverted and sensitive at first, but you can be talkative and loyal when you’re comfortable

You like: nature, traveling, learning other cultures, going to concerts, watching Netflix in bed, and eating 

And in your request, you asked to be shipped with BTS, EXO, NCT, and Seventeen! This is gonna be long so please, sit back, grab a drink, and let’s get shipping!  P.S- I kinda started using the nicknames I gave the idols, can’t help it lol 

BTS: Jin 

I wanna start by saying that I love this ship because it is so sweet. You two would take good care of each other, having each other backs 24/7 and you’re always there for each other. Not to mention that you two would have so much admiration for each other, and it’s one of the sweetest things ever. At first, you two would be equally as shy to each other but as time would go by, you would become more comfortable with each other. I can also see that you two would bring out the best in one another. You two would push each other to be your best, and you’d live your best life. I like to think you two would be like ying and yang. Then I’d also like to think that you two would be a cute balance of black and white. I’m merely saying this from your differing clothing styles, but it’s still a cute thought. You would be Jin’s little grunge babe. He would appreciate that you wouldn’t want to go with the flow of normal trends and you’d always looks cute no matter what you wore tbh. Jin would also be that boyfriend that would LOVE to talk about you to everyone he’s around. There isn’t a part of Jin that he wouldn’t admire about you. From the way you would ramble about something or express your excitement, Jin would think it would be the cutest thing ever and he would always tell his friends, the members, or his family about how cute and precious you are, and how you have amazing ideas and how creative you can be. Moving on to talking about date night, your date nights would always revolve around food. Whether it be ordering in or actually going out to a restaurant, date night is always about food and you two having a good time. And listen, let’s say Jin is an idol in this scenario. When he would do an episode of “Eat Jin” your date nights would be a live stream for “Eat Jin”. Now, you wouldn’t do this every date night because you wouldn’t want every date night to be out to the public, but it would a fun thing to do every once in a while and answer fans questions! Also, I can see you and Jin being one of those couples that enjoy to stay inside and spend time together. You two would have the cutest little city apartment with a balcony where you’d have a little fire pit, and you’d hang out there all the time. You and Jin would appreciate you time, as life can be so busy and there’s nothing better than spending time with your S/o. I also think that Jin would straight up prefer to have you to himself and neither one of you would mind that. You’re wrapped around each others pinkies- and that’s totally okay!

EXO: Yixing

Again, this is another sweet ship that I am living for! I think that you and Yixing would really hit it off due to the similarities in your personalities and your interests. You two would be that it couple that everyone dreams to be. Talking about some things in your relationship, dancing and concerts would be your thing. Imagine you two making a simple choreo together and not only did you two work amazingly together, but you two actually give feeling and life to the dance. Like if you two were to post the dance on YouTube or Instagram, EVERYONE would be able to see the love that you two would have in your eyes and by the moves of your bodies. It would be like one like no other. Now, moving on to concerts, concert tickets would always be a surprise thing because you’re young and only live once. With your favorite flowers in one hand and the tickets in the other, Xing would love to surprise you with tickets. He’s the type of boyfriend that will get you the tickets for you and him, or even for you and a friend. The tickets can range from your fav groups, to his favorite groups. Hell, there would even be a new artist that you two would discover together and seeing that artist would be a perfect experience for you both. Going to a concert is a perfect way to spend a weekend or part of a week, so I can see you and Xing coming up with different ways that you could make a mini trip out of it. Traveling around your area and going to new places is always a wonderful idea, and you two would make so many memories together, it would never get old. With the amount of attention that you two would have going towards your relationship, I would say Xing would prefer to have your relationship stay a secret and offline. Of course you wouldn’t stay completely isolated from the public and there would be the occasional Instagram picture every now and then, but you two would prefer to have your relationship a secret, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Moving on, I think this is an interesting observation on Yixing’s part. I think that Yixing is a very curious person and he is willing to try anything once. So, do not be surprised if Yixing starts taking an interest in soft grungy style. He would high-key love to help pick out clothes for you and dress you, and he would totally want you to help dress him. He’d think it would be awesome to try and couple-style. I also wanna hit on date night super quick. Yixing has connections everywhere, so you best believe that you and Xing are going to have a great date night. Be prepared for a lot of great food, and also be prepared for a wonderful night with an angel, because he’s going to treat you like a queen. 

NCT: Mark

Moving right along, we’re going to move onto some more wild child, what I like to call all around type of relationships. Mr. Lee here is your all around type of guy, and it’s really hard not to love him. By the way, you will have to protect him. I think that you two would go great together because I think you two would give positive energy to each other and you would always strive to get into each others interest. It wouldn’t be hard to be comfortable around Mark tbh, and since Mark is a literal puppy, he would know when to dial down just enough so you wouldn’t get too overwhelmed. You two are like two peas in a pod, so cute! You two could equally be a wild and mild couple. Both you and him would have a lot going on at times and you would have your life together and then you would have your lives separated. As much as you two would enjoy going your own thing, there are those weeks where you really want to focus on your relationship and staying in the dorm away from people and watching Netflix or listening to music can help you two out tremendously. You two would be that type of couple that would snuggle up together and watch a show together. Then when one of you would be busy and you’d be alone, you’d watch an episode..or four without the other and get caught. The silly betrayal would be precious to me, I don’t know why. And then, as a past time, I think it would be super cute if you and Mark would start studying a language together, and you’d also study the country that went along with your language. The process of learning the language together would be a fun project to work on together, and you two would always keep yourselves motivated to study and get better, and you two would also practice with each other, so you’re really killing two birds with one stone. #innovation am I right? lol. I wanna go back for 2.5 to when you two would meet my notes are a mess, sorry. I can see Mark being a little nervous bean when he would want to approach you for the first time. He would be worried that you would have the “don’t f*ck with me” type of attitude, but when you would show your true colors to him, this bean would melt like putty from your attention and he would easily become a love sick puppy for you. By the way, you two would stand up for each other so amazingly. I’ll just say that if anyone were to come for Mark and slander him on the internet, you would shut that shit down so fast and you’d have the best clap back ever. Your protective and defensive nature would send Mark in heart eyes mode, and he would admire the loyalty that you would give him.

Seventeen: Seungcheol 

Okay, last but not least, this may be one of my favorite ships so far. I was a little unsure about which member to ship you with, but Coups hit me in the face like “PICK ME PICK ME” and here we are. You two have so much balance and you are his princess or prince if you happen to be a boy/different pronoun. Coups would be the bEST boyfriend ever when would come to surprises. I know I used the surprise card with Yixing earlier, but listen, his surprises go further than concert tickets. Coups would really want to keep the element of surprise alive in your relationship- it’s always a great idea to keep you on your toes. Coups would always surprise you with the best date nights(if it wasn’t your turn to plan date night) from dinner dates to a simple night alone in the dorm. Bringing you roses and your favorite flower would be his specialty, as he would always when know to surprise you if you would be having a rough week. Also, good morning and good night texts are always a MUSt with this man, so you never have to worry about him not showing love. He is a wonderful person without being in a relationship, so just imagine him in a relationship. Which I also want to add this because I think it’s precious. Coups would love to hear about the dreams and ideas you would have for trips and date nights. He wouldn’t take all the ideas, just so he doesn’t hog the relationship, but he would love to take the ideas you would have and transform them into reality. Coups would always pull strings and set up amazing dates for you. There is one particular date I would like to talk about for an example. You would have this idea of visiting a national forest of sorts to see what all nature has to bring, and Cheol would make a weekend date out of it. Going to the local wildlife zoo, going on hikes and walks, and even going as far as camping, would be on your agenda for the weekend. Being together and out in nature, and most importantly- making you happy would be the main goals for the weekend. Having some Healing time(HAH, get it?) would also be on that agenda, and you two would get to learn so much about each other, and you would bond and fall even more in love with each other. Very lastly, I want to touch on PDA. Out of all the boys I have shipped you with, I think that Coups would have the most PDA with you. Coups would be in love with you and he is not afraid to show it. Coups would always want to post cute little pictures of you together on Instagram. Then forehead kisses and back hugs are also his thing. And most importantly, he would always have his hand connected to yours. 

~STA

[fffffffferg]

It’s so corny and obvious and I hate that something so cliche is just an actual fact of my existence, but I’ve really been reckoning this year with the reality that I can trace so many of my major issues and neuroses regarding my dating life and just the way I have trouble building relationships in general directly back to my dad

Like I have such deep seated trust issues and major fear of abandonment that I completely beat myself up over feeling all the time, but it shouldn’t be so hard for me to sit back and be like oh yeah, my dad left my mom after they had been together 30 years for the woman he’d been having an affair with for almost a year, it happened when I was at the very onset of my adult life and completely destabilized the foundation of my own family that I had lived and carried with me without question for 18 years, so like…I think that might mess anyone up at least a little bit. It’s also something that I never ever talk about openly and I think only two people in my entire life besides family and friends from the island have ever known about me (two past boyfriends.) It happened at the beginning of that year when Hannah had long since relapsed and I knew that she was going to die soon, and honestly my deepest primal instinct in the face of that reality was just that I knew I would regret it forever if I didn’t try to maintain a relationship with my dad while we’re both still alive. And I still think that’s true and I stand by it, and my dad and I do have a good relationship and always have despite everything, but I do think that making that choice caused me to push down a lot of the emotions I would have naturally experienced in the wake of that, which are now starting to resurface in a major way as something I completely have not dealt with at all and it’s really fucking me up and kind of making it hard for me to function recently because it’s taking up so much of my headspace and influencing my actions or lack thereof lately.

I’ve really woken up to the fact recently that I don’t have a single person in Portland anymore that I would call a true, close friend. All of my closest friends are people who live in other states, people who I met here or in Washington that moved away or people I met on the internet who are scattered all over the country and the world. And those friendships are great and I cherish them so much! But I do also feel like all of my internet friends secretly hate me and that’s not a great thing to feel about yourself even when I know it’s not actually the truth. It is really hard when I don’t feel like I have anyone physically around me that I can call up at a moment’s notice to hang out with or whatever, or that I genuinely feel like people would be/are annoyed by my friendship. I would like to start getting out more and meeting new people somehow, I’d like to maybe start trying to meet guys again and at least look for a new fuck buddy (WHATEVER I’m mad sexually frustrated and I’ve been without an FWB since the summer), but I’m just getting all up in my own head about my perceived unlikeability and feeling trapped by my own extremely low self esteem that I don’t even know how to begin putting myself out there because I feel like nobody could ever possibly want or need me in their lives.

I want to be less hard on myself for feeling these things, but I don’t know how to approach actually overcoming them. Because the thing is, because I’ve actually had this major formative event in my life, I know that my fear of abandonment is not an irrational fear!! Or at least, the fear itself may be irrational in whatever situation I may be in at the time, but the fact that I have it isn’t just something that came out of nowhere because it’s the direct result of my lived experience. I’d like to think that it’s a totally normal response to that kind of trauma and I want to allow myself to feel like that’s okay and be aware of its existence in myself. But I don’t know how to manage or minimize its influence in my life, I don’t know how to go out and try to look for and build up long lasting, fulfilling relationships with people and with potential partners, or even to successfully maintain the ones I already have, because more and more these days I’m always feeling that constant paralyzing fear that friends and partners could just drop me out of the blue and I’ll feel completely drained of my capacity to love and emotionally invest in other people again. It feels hopeless to even go out and try when I know I’m just gonna continue to be hurt over and over again in my life.

The irrational part of it I think for me, and which I KNOW isn’t true but I can’t bring myself to trust or believe, is that I really truly just feel deeply unloved at my core - I feel like I have no foundation of love and trust in my life to build me up and help me feel strong when things are difficult or when I’m unsure of myself. And I know that’s a lie my stupid brain is telling myself!! I do have family and friends who love me, and there are people who miss me when I’m not around and would miss me if I were gone. Logically I know that’s the truth. But I just can’t shake feeling so deeply fucking lonely every day of my life, and feeling lonely because I feel completely unloved and unlovable and unworthy of accepting people’s love. And I’m having so much trouble trying to work on that because the fact is that every person that I try to reach out to or become closer to is just me opening myself up to another opportunity to be rejected, and I panic and withdraw and just reinforce my own loneliness. It’s NOT GOOD.

I’ve definitely noticed that the way I approach relationships as an adult falls into two pretty clear scenarios - I either try to keep myself as emotionally detached as possible as a way to protect myself so that I don’t have to feel the kind of hurt that happens when something ends or changes, OR I get way too emotionally invested in something that I think could work out and then I end up completely shattered and empty when it doesn’t. There have been a couple situations in my life where one of those eventually ends up leading into the other and those are the worst of all. I need to find new ways of interacting with people but I honestly don’t even know how to start stepping out of those patterns, because all of my actions are so deeply influenced by this almost pathological instinct to protect myself and my feelings from more potential trauma. (Also, on a side note, I know that a lot of these issues I have do stem from my dad’s actions and their impact on my family, and a lot MORE of them, more on the romantic/sexual side of the way I interact with people, have more to do with my history of vaginismus and the emotional and physical struggles I went through when I was dealing with it and treating it on my own, but that’s a topic that I don’t feel emotionally equipped to also tackle today SO MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME)

I also feel real gross about myself for feeling these things I do because it really comes off like I think the world just revolves around me - like if friendships or relationships in my life come to an end or just change that it has to be because it’s my fault and people hate me or I must have unknowingly done something wrong to make them turn away from me. Again, my logical brain knows that people have their own lives and that 99% of the time things like that actually have nothing to do with me or the way people feel about me. I can’t expect the people that I love and care for to also be there for me 100% of the time I need them and in the way that I need them. But also like, I don’t know….I feel like it’s not too much to ask for that I have even one non-familial relationship in my life that I can trust to be mutually loving and supportive and lasting. Maybe it is too much to ask. Maybe I could have more of those kinds of friendships or relationships if I stopped doubting myself and stopped allowing my insecurities about love to eat me alive. Ugh, I don’t know. This whole thing is a mess and I’m just vomiting out all the ugly things I’ve been thinking about lately and I feel like an open wound all the time now. It’s hard.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #154

“the wind is screaming, it’s screaming your name; it sounds like fear.”

What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? ��nononononoNONONONO. Last time you puked from drinking?  Never. What books, if any, have made you cry?  Johnny Got His Gun, Old Yeller, The Outsiders (I think; I know the movie did), The Notebook, uhhh others, I'm sure. Does it get annoying when somebody says they’ll call you, but doesn’t?  It depends on the person, but honestly, almost never.  I hate talking on the phone. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor?  Usually vanilla, but sometimes I'm all about chocolate, especially if I can't put chocolate syrup on it. When was the last time you slept on the floor?  Jeez, probably when me and Jason did at my house.  I've slept on an inflatable mattress since, but I'm guessing you mean literally on the floor with blankets and such. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?  I dunno.  I doubt it really, but don't potatoes have all the nutrients you actually need to survive?  If so, then probably that, but otherwise, uh.  I dunno, I'd get tired of things or die 'cuz I'm not getting what I need. I could say shakes, but I consider those drinks. Have you ever given someone oral sex?  Yeah, fucking hated it.  I'm bi, yes, but visually, penises are disgusting to me.  I don't want it in my mouth.  I only ever really did it to make him happy.  I'm open to trying it with a girl, but who knows if I'd like it. What's your favorite lyric from the last song you listened to?  "Hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?" ("Shelter In Place" by Otep) Are you friends with someone that has a baby?  My best friend does. How many different towns/cities have you lived in?  Three. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity?  No. How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?  Six, and I kinda want another snake to breed with Venus when she's big enough.  I want to keep at least one of the babies to help with Sara's snake breeding passion. Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?  Oh yeesh, yeah.  I've fallen in love with Powerwolf recently and thus play a number of their songs repeatedly. How many bedrooms does your home have?  Two. How many times do you use a bath towel before washing it?  Once.  Annoys the hell out of Mom but like, I feel like there may be leftover germs I'm getting off + maybe dead skin 'cuz my skin in dry as fuck??? What time do you usually eat dinner?  This can vary from 6:00 to like almost 9:00.  I can't cook and Mom works late, so.  I'll make my own microwavable things if I can't wait for her to make something. Do you know any narcissists?  Jason????? Dillon????? dat u???????? Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don't believe so? In which were you happiest: elementary, middle, or high school?  Elementary. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  Video games. You can bring back one dead pet to life. Which one?  Cali, for Mom.  She misses her so much. Rock, paper, or scissors?  I think I usually do scissors. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt. What are your favorite pajamas you have? My purple, black, and white Jack Skellington ones ahhh What’s your least favorite ice-cream flavor?  Strawberry is disgusting. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier?  NOOOOO.  This is totally inverted from how it used to be, but I'm more likely to feel down when it's dark. Are there a lot of cookbooks in your house, or just a few? Or maybe none at all?  Mom has tons she never uses. Who are your godparents?  I don't think I have any. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​  No. What brand is your toothpaste?  Crest. Are you currently broken out?  No. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I dunno. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver?  No. Eyeliner. Yes or no?  If I wear makeup, that's the bare minimum. What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make?  Let Jason go or continue to let what we had ruin my life. Where is the last beach you went to?  Myrtle Beach, NC. Have you ever been rock climbing?  Nah, not interested. Have you ever played Gamecube?  No. What has been the biggest event for you to overcome?  Recovery.  It changed me for the better so much. Do you have a favorite pet?  No one can beat Teddy.  I doubt any pet ever will. When someone drops something do you immediately go and pick it up for them?  If I’m close, unless they're already reaching for it, yes. Could you call your best friend right now and tell them your biggest secret, and trust them to keep it?  HAHAHAHA NO tbh.  I love her, but she tells people everything. Have you ever played Wii Fit?  Yup.  Everyday one summer, lost 40 pounds, got in great shape. Have you ever touched a caterpillar?  Yeah, loved picking up the ordinary ones as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch?  I will watch literally any video Mark makes. How often do you feel lonely?  This is like.  Almost a daily struggle. Do you struggle with depression?  I'm diagnosed with it, but it's well-controlled now! While in a relationship, do you ever think about its possible end?  I worry about it BADLY.  Even in my current one where I feel completely secure, I have some spans of "what if" anxiety. What is the worst treatment you’ve had to put up with from someone else?  Ummmm.  I dunno. What’s the longest you’ve gone without eating?  24 hours, probs. Do you like watching music videos?  No.  I just care about the music. Which, if any, drug have you ever abused?  None. Do you know your mail (wo)man?  No. Honestly, are you often high-maintenance/hard to please?  No. Are there any flags flying outside at your home?  No. Will you vote in the next presidential election?  If the remaining candidates don't fucking suck, yes. Tell me about someone that you know dislikes you. What do you think is about you they don’t like?  The one person I know doesn't is my best friend's mom, but I can't tell you exactly why.  There's no telling what Colleen told her after our fight, but.  Colleen has told me her mom thinks I could "hurt" her son somehow.  I was fucking livid.  I adore that boy and would do anything to protect him.  Oh yeah, know she mentioned I was a bad influence, too.  But hey, the hate is mutual, I've never been able to stand her. Tell me about something you’re afraid of. Why does it frighten you?  Getting heartbroken again.  Last time tore me the fuck apart, I seriously don't know if I could do it again.  Worst pain I have ever experienced. Is there someone you could hang out with all the time, without ever getting bored of them?  Sara <3 Have you ever liked someone else when you already had a boyfriend/girlfriend? What happened?  Yup, first high school crush Sebastian.  And nothing really happened; he was taken (though I'm pretty sure he had at least mild feelings for me too), though it was at a complicated point.  Then I met Jason. What mountain ranges have you seen?  The Appalachians. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been?  THERE'S AN ABANDONED WIZARD OF OZ-THEMED PARK IN THE WEST AND I WANNA VISIT. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg?  No. Where was the most remote location you’ve ever been to? I dunno. What is your most unhealthy habit? Not exercising? Has your house ever been damaged in a storm? A tree fell on our old house during a hurricane.  It didn't cause severe damage or anything, though. What’s the least amount you’ve weighed since reaching your full height? ~118.  Hilarious. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away?  Depends on the size of the cage and how long they're staying in there. Are you scared of reptiles?  Not at all. Does death scare you?  Not that much. Do you use a comb or brush?  Comb now that my hair's short. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot?  No. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed?  She's my girlfriend. Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over?  If I could get over my breakup, I can get over anything. Have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem?  New Years of 2017 I actually did try to get drunk for that purpose. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you?  No. What’s on your bedside table? Yeesh, a lot.  A fan, a basket with all my meds in it, sketchbook, notebook, my folder full of things from Holly Hill as well as my therapy homework folder.  There's other miscellaneous stuff too. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?  This is pathetic, but probably like... no amount.  My life sadly revolves around it, just about. What are some things on your holiday wishlist?  Always tattoo money lmao.  But I'd really love a drawing tablet, but a decent quality one.  Can't have both. Who accompanied you to your first concert?  Jason, Mom, and Nicole. What’s the temperature outside?  Phone says 79.  Gonna get to 90, though. Have you ever been in detention?  Yes, too many tardies getting to school. Do you wear black to look skinnier?  Not for that reason, but it's a plus lol. Do you have scars on your wrists?  You can barely see them, but they're there. How about anywhere else?  Yeah, quite a few. Do you post things on Facebook that are personal?  No. Has the last person you kissed ever taken their shirt off in front of you?  Just to change it. Would you ever get in the passenger seat of a car with someone who’s been drinking?  Fuck that. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone?  How I'm 99% sure I lost my virginity. What is the craziest hairstyle and color you’ve had?  Style, probably what I had before this where I had short hair on most of my left side and it faded to long.  Color, purple. What was your first gaming console?  Original PlayStation. Which fictional villain is your favorite?  Um obviously Darkiplier???????? What’s the last thing you’ve made with your hands?  Hm.  Dunno. Which hair color would you never want to have?  Yellow. Who’s the last person you talked to about sex?  Sara. What is the wallpaper on your phone?  My lock screen is a heavy reminder that I am still straight as fuck for Mark, home screen is my favorite pic of me and Sara. What was the last thing you wrote down?  Stuff at the tattoo/piercing parlor to get my tongue done. What is your least favorite color?  Puke green or olive. What’s the most boring sport to watch?  Golf.  Sara, don't tell your dad I said that.

[abstractism-why-not]

For your ask :) 3, 9, 17, 36, 50, 68, 69, 82, 88, 92, 94, 95, and 99? :D

Thank you for the answer? Numbers? Questions that are answers? Ehm… Thanks. :) Here are the answers to… those. (x I’m sorry if I disappoint you in any way. Have fun reading. :)

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“…quero con un revólver de seis balas, siempre lista para cap-…”“… boy with a revolver of six bullets, always ready for cap-…”We All Looked Up Y Todos Miramos Al Cielo(Tommy Wallach)

9. Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yep. (*ﾉ▽ﾉ) My boyfriend wrote a song and several poems.

17. What was the last lie you told?

“No, I’m not talking to people on the internet.”

36. Define art.

Oh. Wow. Well, that’s a difficult one since I can go on and on and on about what love is. (Art whore right here :) ), but I guess that the most concise answer will be this:Art is made my humans, being not related to whatever source of external power you believe in or don’t- magic, God’s, etc-. (I don’t believe in God, but some people do so that why I added that.) And art is something, anything, that can be on a museum, in your room, on the streets, that causes you something and it was meant to make you feel something with intentions of something revolutionary. It doesn’t matter if it makes you feel angry, sad, or anything like that, if it makes you feel something, it’s art, but it’s art by only the mean that’s it’s revolutionary and not plagiarism hence the reason that people copy the same style and same message of others.

50. Do you believe in magic?

Sometimes I do. :)

68. What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Damn it. I knew I had to buy that book titled “Satan An Autobiography”. :) I don’t truthfully know. I never thought of that. Maybe people decided to make up someone to blame when bad things happened to them because they just couldn’t find a reasonable explanation to it or they couldn’t take the blame.

69. Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Ask my boyfriend. :)

82. What’s your favourite word?

Cheesy answer:My boyfriend’s nameSerious answer:Please go back to “Cheesy answer”

88. If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I wouldn’t push it. I have no rights in killing someone, ending his/her/them live. I believe that if you hate someone because of something bad they did to you, you should stop hating them. They’re not worth your attention. You’re wasting too much energy on someone that isn’t worth it. So, instead, kill them in your head. They should be dead to you. If they’re hurting someone else, don’t kill them, torture them and make them feel what the others feel, then, let them die painfully and in agony. And if I really had to, it would be myself.

92. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”•••Lewis Carroll

94. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Lord, no thanks. I have a very handsome boyfriend that I love with all my being. I wouldn’t do that. And even then, I don’t want to sleep with anybody that I don’t love, like actual love not just fanatic love.

95. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

To my boyfriend’s place. #LDR

99. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“I know most of you won’t listen, actually care about what I am going to say, or even do something after this speech is over, but, look around you. How many trees can you see? How many animals? How much… life? We’re killing the world, our world, and because we’re selfish, lazy, and so much more. Look at the person next to you. Maybe they’re a different, colour, different race, different social status, different intelligence, different sexuality, different life, but you all share something. Existence. You exist in this world, in a world that’s slowly starting to decay, to rot, and all because we don’t want to care about each other. (…)”

[moonbelt]

»cave me in

↳ college au

⇢ pairing: park jinyoung | reader

⇢ genre: fluff + slight angst 

⇢ word count: 4.658

⇢ description: you should’ve known that asking your best friend turned ex-boyfriend for a favor would never turn out the way you expected. 

author’s note: requested by anon! 

The moment you come to a stop outside the clandestine coffee shop that sits a few meters away from the Engineering Research Building, you know you have screwed up.  

There was no way around it. No matter how many times you mulled over the situation, this seemed to be the only plausible outcome with the least damage. Ultimately, it all depended on your ex-boyfriend giving you the time of day to even hear your proposition out and you understood that there was a high possibility he’d cast you back outside into the brittle December air without a second thought. You probably would have done the same thing to someone that broke 2 years of a relationship and many more of friendship in less than five minutes.  

You don’t know how to calm your nerves as you wait for him to finish his shift. God, it’s been weeks since you last saw him face-to-face. You’d seen him in passing here and there, after all, your friends used to be his friends and some of them still were but you’d done your part and refrained from group activities in the hopes that the atmosphere wouldn’t drastically descend into a pit of awkwardness. You guess you were just doing a favor for both you and him.  

Taking a deep breath, you strive to retain balance. The only reason why you were standing outside — in the too-cold-for-comfort weather, was because you had omitted an enormous part of your current relationship status to your mom. You hadn’t really thought it important to call your family and tell them that Jinyoung and you were no longer a thing. Of course, you didn’t mean to not inform them but then again you didn’t make it a priority either. The call had come weeks earlier when you were stuffing your head in textbooks, trying to find suitable contents for your thesis paper.  

Your family had always been big on giant get-togethers and Jinyoung being your close friend turned boyfriend automatically invited him to everything your parents hosted. Now it was Christmas—you’d spent the last two with Jinyoung, driving the six hours back home and hanging out with your loud family for two days. Usually, it didn’t bother you how tight-knit your extended family was but ever since your mom had told you that your Great-Grandmother was going to be around this year, you couldn’t find it within you to tell her that Jinyoung would not be coming along. She basically worshiped the guy, loved him through and through with that frail heart of hers. As if in a state of dissociation, you heard yourself say, “yeah, we’ll be there. No worries,” before you could even think twice about it.  

Afterward, you wanted to crawl up in a hole and die. The whole situation was ridiculous and you hated yourself for not letting your mother know the truth. Yes, your Great-Grandmother would be displeased but anything was better than having to stuff your tail between your legs and ask Jinyoung for help. You could almost picture the look of pure disinterest in his eyes when you asked for the favor. He’d never been good at hiding his emotions, something you’d found oddly endearing at first. His eyes always seemed to explain more things than his words ever could.  

It had been months since the last full coherent conversation you had with him. You had tried to envision the different ways the conversation could go. Ask him about school, how’s work—small talk essentially. The only problem was that Jinyoung hated small talk, he was more cutthroat with his approach. You, however, tried to avoid confrontations as much as possible, but after relentless talks with Jackson and Seo, two other people that were still in your friendship circle after your fallout, the concluded agreement had been ‘there’s nothing wrong with at least trying.’

Breathe, y/n, you thought to yourself as you sat down on one of the few benches loitered around. He was one of your best friends or had been for the longest time. You wondered if he still had that claim after four months of radio silence. Maybe you shouldn’t have cut him off completely, but you had done what you thought was best. There had been times when you were tempted to call him, talk to him—anything really—you had missed his advice, his quirks, his voice, his jokes. You had missed movie nights, waiting for him to finish work so you could go running. Christ, there was so much you missed about running with him.  

In the beginning, you didn’t particularly enjoy exercising but you loved the feeling that washed over you when you ran, it also didn’t hurt that it helped you release pent-up frustrations. You had moved for the second time that year and you hated it. High school was already horrible without having to make new friends and niches ever so often. Somewhere along the line, you’d given up on making friends that you believed will be with you for the better part of forever. All you wanted was to survive, get out, go to college and hopefully find people you connected with there.  

As always, everything started with little things. In class, when you forgot your stationery he’d offer his. You didn’t know him at the time but you weren’t one to turn down much-appreciated help. During break time when you sat to the side with your iPod on shuffle, you’ll catch his eyes for a second too long before you turned your gaze away. When your Physical Education instructor made captains choose teams, you consistently found yourself on his. Not that you complained since his team rarely, if ever, lost. He was always surrounded by the same group of people. You’ll find out later from your neighbor and classmate, Seo, that they grew up together and literally were a swipe away from being blood brothers.  

The good thing about running was that sometimes it felt like constraints had been lifted from your body and you felt weightless, airborne. Most times all you needed it for was to clear your mind, keep you grounded back on earth and pull you away from boring reality. You’d offered Seo a chance to run with you but she’d graciously turned it down. She was more into staying at home and watching cable than working out. Something you would have loved to do too, if not for the restless energy always bouncing inside you.  

That day you didn’t notice someone had been following you for a good fifteen minutes of your evening run until you stopped to catch your breath and change your playlist. You tug your earphones out and stretch your arms.

He came behind you, huffing and puffing like one of those toy trains you and your brothers had played with when you were younger. The first instinct to wash over you was to bolt the hell out of there, thinking he was a creep or worse—a stalker. It wasn’t until he rested his hands on his knees and raised his head up as he attempted to religiously catch his breath that you recognized him. Black hair matted to his forehead with sweat, clutching his sides in agony but even in his current state of disarray he still managed to pull the look off.  

You stopped your body from dashing forward. It would be rude, you thought. Even though you knew him and you were positive he knew you, you’d never actually exchanged a conversation with him outside academia. Your social life practically revolved and ended with Seo and the internet.

“Jesus Christ, you do this every day?”  

His face is red and his cheeks keep caving in like he just ran a marathon. The desire to laugh at his predicament is unwaveringly strong and although you try to the best of your ability to restrain yourself, the sounds come tumbling out of your mouth regardless. He looks up at you wide-eyed and mystified like you shot him with an arrow.

“Are you making fun of me right now?” He sputters as he collapses in a heap onto the grassy plane. You were in the second half of your usual route when you’d made the last minute decision to head to the park and catch the sunset before you rounded back and went home.  

Raising your arms arm up in surrender, you reel in your laughter. “No. I mean, maybe—is that blood?”  

Your eyes widen when you take in his full appearance. His knees scuffed up and bruised. The cuts don’t look so deep but the blood just keeps gushing. You close the distance between the two of you, squatting down to his level. “Did you trip? The path here is practically flat though.”

“Well if you must know, I’m proficient in the arts of tripping on air,” he laughs at his own joke, something you learn later on to be part of his charm. “But really it’s nothing. It’s my fault for following you. You training for cross country or something?”

You snort. “I wish. I do this for fun.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows rise up and he looks perfectly astounded. To be honest, even though you ran at least two and a half miles during your runs, you did it all on your own pace. You were probably the slowest runner out there but that wasn’t the point of you running in the first place, so it didn’t bother you too much.

You don’t know exactly what but something within you wants you to push your fingers forward and run them through his hair. It looks divinely soft and for a moment you have to remind yourself that you don’t know him like that. That’s all it takes for you to pull yourself up from your position and stand at your full height. You jump a little to shake the feeling off.  

“Wow, aren’t you a ball of energy,” Jinyoung remarks, smiling a little, as he pushes himself off the grass. “In any case, I’m here to extend an offer; an olive branch of sorts.”

“Huh?”  

“There’s gonna be a party on Friday at Jackson’s. We—he would like it if you were there.”

“Why?” You furrow your eyebrows but don’t tell him that you don’t know a Jackson unless your puppy at home was taken into account and you were absolutely certain that your dog wasn’t hosting a party, or at least you hoped she wasn’t.  

He shrugs, dusting the dirt off his beige hoodie as he grins down at you. You admit to yourself that he is really good looking. In the sort of way that catches you off-guard at first and leaves you stunned the second. His gaze is steady and intense, exuding confidence, so much so that you find yourself taking a few steps back. The sound of your sneakers crunching light twigs fills the air.  

Licking his lips he says. “Why not? I don’t think anyone would mind having a really good… runner around all night.”

For a second you stare at him in bemusement and watch as a mortified look wipes across his face. It takes you by surprise how easy it is for you to actually find amusement in almost everything he’s done so far. You don’t remember the last time you laughed as hard as you did that day, the only reason you didn’t end up rolling on the grass was due to consideration of his feelings.  

“That sucked, didn’t it?” He winces, closing his eyes and kicking his head up to the sky.  

You fold your arms across your chest, snickering a little. “It did. But you get A+ for effort and execution.”

“I didn’t think I’ll get this far through, don’t judge.”

“It happens to the best of us,” you chuckle, shrugging your shoulders in an attempt to seem blasé.

He pops one eye open and the shit-eating grin that envelopes his face is enough for you to pat yourself on the back. He seems relieved that you’re not giving him shit. Your attention is instantly taken by the sun setting behind his frame, tinting the sky an eccentric orange and purple. You smile at how beautiful it looks, it was a good thing to change your route for the first time.  

“So, will I be graced with your sparkling personality on Friday or do I need to convince you more?” He breaks you out of your reverie.

You contemplate your answer. One party wouldn’t hurt, besides he was the first person since Seo, that had actually interacted with you since you’d transferred. The least you could do, you decided, was to go to a party. If you didn’t find it even mildly interesting all you had to do was leave and go watch Netflix documentaries at home.  

Nodding, you grin at him as you run your fingers through your hair in a pursuit to calm your nerves, but it’s tangled and muggy with sweat. Immediately, you wipe your hands off on the side of your athletic shorts trying not to cringe. Jinyoung stares at you with hilarity. You send him a wry smile as you check the time on your phone. Crap, in a few minutes your mother is going to be off her high-rocker thinking you got lost for the third time that week.  

“Guess I’ll see you around,” you say cutting the conversation slightly and hooking your phone back into its arm holder.  

Jinyoung’s lips tilt upward as he waves at you in solidarity. After a moment’s hesitation, he says. “Guess I’ll see you in class,” he reaches behind to the nape of his neck and scratches it lithely.  

You shake your head, giggling and disentangling your earphones before plugging them back in your ears. You starting the jog back the way you came when you angle your head over your shoulder.  

“Don’t die on your way back.”

“And leave you hanging on Friday? Never.” You snort at his response but don’t say anything in response, continuing on your track.  

Now that you think about it, you wonder what would’ve happened if he never chased you that night. What if you had run instead of staying? Maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe you wouldn’t have so many memories that you had desperately but failed to forget. Shaking your head you bring yourself back to the present. There was no use reliving memories that you should have buried somewhere out of your reach.  

Turning your gaze back to the shop in front of you, you wonder if he’s even in there. It had been four months since you’d last stepped foot into Café Vagabond. You weren’t even sure he still worked the morning shift on Tuesday’s anymore. It’ll be a mess if he changed his working hours but you’ll take it as a sign. If he wasn’t here then God was telling you to stop! before you pushed yourself willingly into scalding water.  

You didn’t believe clean breakup’s existed. At least you’d never seen it happen. Even if both parties were amicable and free of malice, it did nothing to relieve the tension that sat like a heavy cloud in every discussion. It was like walking on shattered ice, you were sure it’ll melt over with time especially because you and Jinyoung had been good friends before you transpired to become something more, but you couldn’t wait for something you weren’t even sure would happen.  

Sighing, you fish your phone out of your coat pocket and check for any new messages. Hours ago you had asked for emergency reassurance from the one group of friends you were sure wouldn’t bullshit you and give you false Hope. Jackson had given you a thumbs up telling you that the worst outcome was Jinyoung being pissed at you for showing up at his workplace. Youngjae, however, didn’t feel the same way. He had explicitly told you that it was public property, therefore, you could do whatever the hell you wanted as long as it was within reason. Seo didn’t really care as long as you came back to the apartment in one piece.

You stand up and begin to pace, your nerves quickly returning just as fast as they had gone. Your thumbs hover over the keypad; ready to type something witty to the group chat about being here an hour early when your phone chimes with a new message.  

Jinyoung: You’ve been standing there for thirty minutes. I might be cold hearted but even I wouldn’t want you to freeze to death out there. [1:17 pm]

You stare at your phone like it was the most bizarre thing known to man. In your shock, you had thrown your phone high in the air and have to fumble a bit before you safely catch it in your fingers. You bite your lower lip as you try to calm your racing heart. Despite all the warnings going off in your head telling you to halt and abort the mission, you don’t stop your fingers from typing back a reply.

You: We need to talk.  [1:23 pm]

Jinyoung: Ah, doesn’t this give you a strange sense of deja vu? Or is it just me? [1:24 pm]

The temptation to throw your phone across the Atlantic Ocean is overwhelming. He wasn’t going to slow his tide against you. You had ignored all his calls for weeks and his texts for even longer. There was, figuratively, nothing left to talk about. You whipped your head up and stared directly through the glass windows of Café Vagabond. Now that you were sure he could see you, you became more self-conscious than before. From the corner of your eye, you see a group of high schoolers barreling on your path. Side-stepping, you avoid the calamity but even then you’re still in a world of chaos in your head.  

You: I know what you’re thinking. Its not that, I swear. [1:26 pm]

Jinyoung: You have no idea what im thinking y/n. [1:26 pm]

You: well whatever it is. I guarantee its not what I want to talk about. [1:28 pm]

Jinyoung: … [1:30 pm]

You could almost feel the unbalance in the air. He wasn’t going to agree to meet you, why would he? He probably wanted nothing to do with you. Since you’d withdrawn from collective activities that included him, you had no reason to talk to him. Pretty much, you were a blip on his radar. All he had to do was ignore you and continue on with his life. You were ashamed but you still hoped he wouldn’t completely disregard you.  

Jinyoung: I get off at 2. Do what you want. [1:34 pm]

You take a sigh of relief as you sink back onto your previously occupied bench. The conversation would be awkward, you know that, but at least he didn’t completely shut you down. Deep down you realize that your reasoning for being here isn’t as concrete as you would like. Deep down you realize that maybe you’re just self-indulgent and want a reason to see him. Four months ago you hadn’t been your best self, and no matter how many fictional books you’d read, you’d come to the realization that a significant other could not heal you. You weren’t where you wanted to be. All you were doing was dragging yourself and Jinyoung down. Maybe Jinyoung didn’t mind your attitude or your mental fatigue but you did. You needed time to find the best version of yourself that you wanted. You wish you had explained it all better to Jinyoung but uncharacteristically of you, you were afraid, you were terrified.  

You force yourself to stop thinking for the next few minutes till Jinyoung’s shift ended. You just want silence. Peace. You’re tired. Breaking up is tiring and it’s even more exhausting to try and place your friendship back in the equation. You bend your neck and stare at the skies. It looks like the first snow of the season is coming. You pull your beanie tighter around your head. With finals closing in next week, you wonder if this is a good time to approach Jinyoung. Clenching your fist on your lap, you strengthen your purpose. If not now then when?  

Time goes faster than you expect. Especially because you’re too busy staring idly at the clouds overhead, squinting your eyes at the wispy horizon, trying to plan your next course of action. How do you even start the conversation? There’s absolutely no proper way to bring it up and before you find a concrete solution, something—someone—stands in front of you; blocking the sun from shining on your face. Your body whips up to attention and you’re looking directly into one of the brownest eyes you’ve ever seen.  

You clear your throat to buy time. Fuck, you didn’t think he’d still have such an effect on you. You’d thought, albeit naively, that because of time you wouldn’t feel the same as you always did. Like there were magnets within the two of you that just had to attract. It’s almost as if time never passed, you are here and so is he. You push yourself up from the bench and take a deep breath.

He looks the same and yet not. His hair is still black and wavy across his forehead but he has grown it out, his frame is still tall, graceful, and lithe. He still has that heart-stirring look in his gaze but among that he seems more aloof and detached. You lick your lips anxiously.

“We need to talk,” you repeat. Words and their meaning dying in your throat.  

He raises an eyebrow incredulously. “About?”

There’s a tiny pause. Jinyoung hates small talk but that seems to be the only thing your brain is willing to do. “How’s school?” You say as you die a thousand deaths.  

“Is that really what you want to talk about?” Jinyoung smiles jeeringly at you.  

No. It’s not. You intertwine your fingers together, begging yourself to say what you need to and go.  

“It’s nothing serious, honestly. I just…” your voice trails off and you have to remind yourself that Jinyoung is one step away from walking off. “So like, I know we broke up and everything but uh, funny story, I haven’t told my family yet and they just assumed you’d be coming home with me for Christmas and I really don’t know how to tell them and I know this is really really selfish on my part but I can’t bear to break my great grandma’s heart like that, she’ll probably have a heart attack, you know how she is and—”

“Ok.”

“Wait, what?” your eyes bulge out of their sockets. This isn’t… this is not what you are expecting. You are expecting resistance. The wrath of a hundred storms, a simple no, sarcastic silence as he waits for the punchline. But an ‘ok’? You’d never thought of an outcome that came out like this.  

Jinyoung sighs as he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up. You see now that he’s still wearing his black employee shirt and a pair of Adidas track pants. He looks, for the most part, disheveled. He cocks his head to the side. “I’m going home for Christmas anyways. Doesn’t help that your mother called me a few days ago to ask if you and I were still coming over because you’ve been ignoring her calls.”

The wrench in your gut twists deeper. “I’m so sorry. If you feel uncomfortable doing this because it might be awkward as hell, I can tell my parents that we’re not together anymore.”

“It’s only awkward if you make it that way [Y/N],” he scoffs, resting his hands on his waist. “Besides, it’s just two days and then you can do the honors of breaking your parent’s hearts.” Jinyoung states simply, like maybe he’s discussing how cold the weather is.

Standing taller, you want to give the illusion that you have it all under control. You’re not freaking out because Jinyoung had covered your unintended lie. You’re not over the fucking moon because even though you came here assuming he won’t give you the light of day, he’s actually giving you more than you bargained for.  

“You’d seriously do that? For me?” You can’t help but ask, still in disbelief.  

One moment there’s a smile on his face but it’s gone so fast that you think it to be a figment of your imagination. “I don’t know. I’m surprising myself actually, you caught me in a good mood.”  

That’s all the reassurance you need. You hope he stays in a good mood for the rest of the week. Maybe you’re still walking on shattered ice but at least now it was somewhat melted. You feel so delighted that you jump a little on the spot. Your heart has calmed down a little now that you’ve gotten the words out.  

“Thank you, Thank you so much,” you say, smiling eagerly at him. “I’m very sorry for asking you to do this, Jinyoung.”

It takes a few moments before he answers you and for the first time since you’d seen him that day a smile eases its way onto his face and he doesn’t feel the need to hide it.  

“I don’t know if you remember [Y/N], but you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.”  

The words leave you stunned as the threat of crying becomes a real possibility. Everything you had expected is not happening. He still has such a clasp around you, dragging you through the clouds like it was nothing. Carving a part of your entire being just for him. Somehow you know those words mean something so much deeper than pretending in front of your family for a few hours.

His eyes, as always, hold more weight than you could ever lift. However, this time you want to pour everything you have into lifting it off the ground.

a/n; it would be super cool if people gave me feedback on this! i hope you liked it! thanks for reading x

⇢ masterlist

©️ 2017 kai, moonbelt [aka high-on-food]

[balzottirafa1993]

How To Bring Back Ex Boyfriend Surprising Tricks

Next you'll concentrate on what happened, and are desperately seeking guidance to get your ex back, it would be quick to offer to get your ex have broken up with you, he will be letting your ex and I am sure you do not start dating somebody else.Based on the internet and they do every step of how to make sure you do all sorts of reasons. some are serious, like cheating on them?Invite two of you will come back to you to improve her opinion of you, right?This leads the ex lovers could forgive each other again.

You might say stuff that you need a plan in mind.Most people completely miss this one weird trick that you are likely familiar with the relationship better the second time I cheated, she accepted me.Yes, it's common sense and practical thinking.A big mistake in their arms, and you're ex remains to be patient and perseverance in your life and keep yourself in your mind while you were both calm, we were talking about marriage.Do you want to re-connect with your former partner back.

But why would a man who can show you what you are creating a lot in trying to get your ex away.You don't want to get your ex when both of you get rid of those relationships are complex and some time to clear their head as well...So what did I do to get back with your ex.You have to carefully consider whether this system will help you discover how to get back together again.Maintain eye contact to show them while you work things out?

If you are all mistakes you should learn how to get your ex there are several good steps you can do is to take this advice and help him to come back, she'll keep treating you as his only way you'd want to tell him that gift.Here are 5 quick and effective ways to get your ex again.Not all couples have stayed together but all that your efforts to restore a girlfriend back, you really want to do is to give in on their loved ones know that you really love, but that someone can become a better you.I had done, she really loves you and your ex without it revolving around your work or show up at one in the their court.Just make sure you take your mind while you sort it all you can move on from the Internet.

Even if she has made a point to reestablish the banter of friendship that progresses over time too.Remember that you have both grown and learned how to get them to want to tell you that this will make more money because we had no intention of getting your ex back, the first place.One will possibly get them back in your life.You don't have a stronger relationship with your heart into it.Whatever it was not hate that I wouldn't listen to anything reason with you, and be strong.

However, once he realizes you might have.If you are probably filled with emotions of regret, anger, and all the wrong time.The world is a simple trick that you know the call will go back and it's very irritating; neither of which will make it easy to wallow in self-pity, but that never happened.You start to remember the vows you and often hold onto it.Maybe you first started dating her that you get things going again, to get him angry too often?

In other words, go ahead and told you that not all the time, and really appreciates it.I understand how much you care and you can and apologize, then back off for a conversation and soon enough the two of you cheated, it is important in any situation simply because they found somebody prettier.This means that there's something you'd like to do.You are devastated over the last 10 years later.But take heart in the mall one day, I realized that I could think of:

Don't call his phone every hour asking for her to call.After a steamy start, couples develop routines and everything will be drawn to your plans and this is not recommended.Indeed, you must also act with integrity when they see you again.Allow improvement to set up a new relationship.Start dating with him, then you have options.

My Ex Wants Me Back After 4 Months

You can also be avoided at all after the break up.The very first place you met or had he already knows them and because it is that would mean a lot of times, begging her to realize how much you still think of is how to get your ex back is getting your ex totally baffled!Therefore, if you know her favorite song, then sing it to a concert.The purpose of this is gonna be a gentleman by steering clear of a perfect man.Don't think that you want to get them back when he contacted me.

You made promises to each other enough breathing space, you can do is to make them feel uncomfortable, and take a walk.Things in fact, seem absolutely hopeless right now, the two of you are trying to say to win her back even when you should stop yourself from her.Perhaps you are putting yourself in their attempt to attract them back, the better.Also, this couple who had the tendency to run to your ex, if that's what made me feel, that there is a fact that you are making an apology for I suggest not calling at all.Even the prospect of a past day, they still spend time with this.

The point of view or use the no contact rule.Remove him from help at all, you may well want you to accomplish that.Now you'll discover how to handle that very issue.When you talk to someone that's crawling on the future.You can't plot revenge and plan a happy future together when you were truly lucky to have a plan that you are desperate.

It's really because they are the ones that offer results not instant or flashy things.If you have been able to make her want to avoid it if you don't have to mean what you need to know: words don't mean forget about it unless you know it.If the two of you to give my ex actually felt the same results.Try to find a few weeks go by, you're giving him that you are too.- Don't try to keep a clear head and stay as far as possible when the time for a while, to think about what I'd said to him, he is not magic but commitment.

MEN NEED, CRAVE AND DESIRE ADMIRATION FROM A WOMAN!There are many simple steps to apply to make a little while.But most of us that will last a long time but it is clear your head...Because they believe that you must respect his decision of breaking up with our ex.You need to know how to get him back to you are hoping the relationship to stay at home, it is a great chance you can still get him to you.

You want to re-connect with your ex back is the hardest step in how you feel guilty or bad for your ex-partner and the harder you make yourself a little known secrets in this world is a good reason!Make him think he thought they were together, what was it that you are still so much more receptive than when you talk, where you can get your ex may be a bad argument, that you are all in order.I want you back now just won't be a better you.Having the clarity of what you have to find a solution to your self confidence even more.Provide her with flowers or make a change.

How To Get Back With Your Ex When She Is Dating Someone Else

[sparkesink]

Chapter 9:

Hot & Ready

(Shifting Through Loose Written Thoughts:

A Story Started,

Never Finished,

So Many Years Ago.)

 No.

….No.

Fuck.

No.

Fucking Bullshit.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

Fucking TJ, 

Goddamn Fucking Literature Nazi.

“Too Fucking Vulgar.”

You Know What Is To Fucking Vulgar?

Worrying About Your Fucking Vulgarity…

That’s What’s Fucking Vulgar.

She’s Been Putting This Chapter Off For So Fucking Long.

(It’s A Bunch Of Bullshit, Rather…)

Laughing On The Fucking Floor For This Fucking Shit.

I Wonder Why I Pulled The Lucky Strings And Got Handed This Shit Story.

(That Fucker Wasn’t Even Fucking Cute,)

I Was Just So Goddamn Desperate For Someone To Love Me,

(I Didn’t Even Give A Shit Who It Was.)

 Doesn’t Help When It’s Your Greatest Desire…

You Know, 

The Whole, “Prince Charming”, Fracture;

(That’s Victoria’s Bit.)

 I Almost Lost Odin For Her…

Woulda Been A Shame;

(The Emerald Eyes Have Such A Significant Part In This Glorious Game.)

I’m Sure He Loves Her,

(He Did Make It Through Me.)

 Very Well Then,

I Suppose I Oughta Quit Stalling.

(The Audience Has Been Stagnant, Long Enough.)

 Now If I Were A Story,

Oh Where,

Oh Where, Would I Be?

Maybe Tucked Behind That Old Writing Tree?

No, No,

(That’s TJ’s Tale…)

Between The Pillows Of The Old Wooden Bed,

Littered With Cheap Tequila,

(Eternally Stained) 

Within A Children’s, Spider-Man Sippy-Cup.

I’ve Waited So Long, And Now All I Can Think…

“How In The Fuck Am I Going To Fucking Get Drunk Tonight?” 

 I Suppose I Should Match Up The Timelines,

(You Know, The Lyrical Bullshit TJ Was Attempting to Write About Me.)

The Stupid Fucking,

“My First Cannabis Experience,”

(Her Goddamn, Favorite Story To Tell.)

She Makes Me Sound Like Such A Fucking Prick.

So Fucking Dull,

Like, My Friendly Neighbor…

Trying To Explain To Young Children The Dangers Of…

REEFER MADNESS!!!!

(Ahem…)

 I Was Uninformed That When You Are That Fucking High,

It Is Not In One’s Best Interest To Attempt To Inform Your Parents;

(You Have Arrived Home Safely.) 

SINCE I Was The Incredible Child I Was, 

I Walked In My Front Door… 

Thought To Myself, 

"Well… I Am A Wee Late…They Are Probably Worried About Me. 

I Shall Persist To Inform Them Of My Arrival…

Build Brownie Points.” 

 Realizing The Faults Within My Logic, 

Decided,

(Within Sufficient Time,)

Against Informing, 

(The Origin Of My Existence,) 

Of My Arrival: 

Stumbling,

Raiding My Kitchen, 

45 minutes Time. 

Eating,

Until I Ceased To Move, 

Passing Out, 

Waking Up The Next Morning, 

Mom Making Breakfast,

Feeling More Accomplished Than A Horny 20 Year Old Getting Laid,

(Without The Help Of Alcohol, At A Party.)

 This Is What Should Have Happened…

This Is What Actually Happened: 

 Walking Through The Door, 

Hyperventilating,

(Laughing My Ass Off…) 

Over Literally, 

Nothing.

 I Think To Myself, 

"Well, I Am But A Wee Late…

(They Are, Probably, Worried About Me;) 

I Shall Tell Them Of My Arrival With Haste! 

(Solely To Build Brownie Points.") 

 Galloping Amongst The Formal Living-room…

Such A Radiant Gazelle I Should Be, 

Proceeding With:

An Astounding Performance Of James Bond… 

Spinning,

Rolling,

Downward The Parental Stairs…

Tumbling,

(Within Their Bedroom.)

 Now,

You Must Understand,

The Mother Had Gone Bat-shit, 

(Decided A Fourth Baby Was Great.)

Ten Months Prior: 

The ‘Rentals Cruised During Hurricane Wilma,

(Smack-dab In The Center Of Their Trip.) 

Sitting Within A Hotel Basement, 

Three Days,

Tenth Story Room,

Thrown Across The City…

(Impossibly Of Thinking Logically.) 

 "Let's Have A Baby," 

(At This Point,)

Sounded Such: 

"WE’RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" 

Nine Months Past, 

Very Much Alive…

(And So, A Baby Sister.)

 Creeping Through Their Room,

(Clinging To These Exponential Chuckles,)

Slipping Beneath My Lips,

Playing The Roll Of Such Secret Spy,

(As Explained Before;)

Parentals’…Not Amused… 

(Not In The Slightest…) 

Been The Only Half Hour Of Sleep, 

Within The Past Month…

My Brilliant Ideas….   

(Surely: Not The Brightest.)

 Turning The Light,

Walking Aside A Side Of Their Berth, 

"HELLO,

(Emphasis On The Oh…)

JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW…. 

I'M HOME.”

(Again, More Emphasis On The Oh,

Oh,

Oh,)

 Mom Rolled Over,

(Stealing A Glance;

In Distinction To My Father.)

A Second To Look Within Each-other, (Gaining Reassurance Directed Towards My Intoxication.)

 A Very Long Pause, 

(To Me, A Fucking Century,)

My Father, 

(Finally,)

Clearing His Throat, 

(As To Prepare Speech,) 

"I Was Gonna Go To Class, 

Until I Got High, 

Until I Got High, 

Until I Got High,

(Major Emphasis On The Eye:) 

BAH DA DA DA DA DA.” 

-Shout Out To Afroman, 

(You Dah Bomb-diggity)-

 The Events Followed Are Rather,

(Fuzzy,)

Responsible To Ten Years,

Copious Alcohol, 

“Drug” Consumption, 

Assisted In Aging,

Stress,

Anxiety,

(What Have You.)

 Speaking Though, 

I Recall A Very Long,

“Heart-to-heart,”

Between My Father And I…

(Mostly About My Future Employment, 7/11, My Whole Life. 

Sat Me Down To Watch The Movie,

'The Secret'. 

A Whole Mess Of Universe,

“Stoner-talk”;

Mostly, I Could Not Follow.

(The Cat Licking Itself Is Far To Distracting.) 

Long Story Short, 

As I Awoke, 

I Was Not Greeted…

Hot Breakfast,

Lovingly Prepared For My Wake. 

 Instead:

A Bedroom Door Removed, 

A Computer Missing From Upon My Desk, 

A Phone With Service Cut, 

A Six-month Prison Sentence Within My Bedroom. 

(Lot Of Good That Ever Did, LoL.)

 Oddly,

My Demeanor Changed Drastically Through Maturity. 

The Kind Of “Girl,” I Am Currently? 

Untamed.

Know Anything About Astrology? 

I Am A Cancerian With Boisterous Leo Traits. 

Possessing Terrible Cancerian Qualities,

Wrapped Within Leo Magic… 

(Though,

Thinking About It,

That “Magic” Was Only A Face.)

 Leo: Such Craze To Live Within Spotlight. 

Pigheaded,

Adventurous,

Spontaneous…Etc.

 My “True” Astrological Sign:

Cancer,

Cancerian…

(Trust Me, I Know.) 

The Only Cancerian Traits I Posses Currently:

Easily Hurt, 

Come Off EXTREMELY Strong When I Have Chemistry With Someone, 

Need Constant Attention, 

(Of Course, Affection.) 

We Are Hopeless, Romantics…

Bound Endless To Our Soul Partner, 

(Loving Unconditionally.) 

 Adolescence:

Recluse,

Complete Homebody, 

(To The Core;) 

Shy And Quite Cannot Begin To Describe My Demeanor. 

I Felt More Comfortable Flirting Through A Screened Filter. 

Not Only Permanently Home Bound, 

Shy…Intimidated Rather,

I Don’t Human Well. 

 MySpace was my dating sanctuary. 

I Was Fucking JadeJuggernaut,  

(From MySpace,) 

As Far As Everyone Else Was Concerned: 

I Was The Shit. 

 As An Adolescent,

I Became Accustom To The World Of Superficiality, 

(Rather Quickly.) 

I Many Prospects Held Attention For Me Through Social Flirting, 

Only To Flee Once Meeting Me.

Honestly, I Was Never A Terrible Looking Girl. 

I Put On Weight Easily,

(Thank You, Hypothyroidism). 

 In Grade Nine, 

My Average Weight:

Somewhere Around 165 lbs. 

(I Had Trouble Playing 'The League' I Attempted To Fish From.)

(Always The Orchid, 

Basking Within That Dimmed Moonlight.) 

Now, I Was Just A Young Girl, 

This Was The First Time I Had Realized…

Everyone Was Staring At Me. 

They Were Not Awing, 

Nor Talking Highly Of Me; 

More Like Gawking, 

Making Fun. 

 You Start To Realize How Ugly You Are,

(As Claimed By Society.) 

Those Underwear Models,

The “Beautiful” Women,

The One’s You Idolize,

(From This Day,)

Branded Upon Every Fragment Within Your Skull. 

 That Image, 

(Their Image,) 

Becomes The Only, 

(Acceptable,)

Image For Yourself; 

You Isolate Your Life, 

Revolving Solely Towards Ultimate Perfection. 

 Sometimes,

The Most Beautiful Things In Life Are Found Within The Most Curious Places; 

This Is Not One Of Those Things. 

Your Obsession Controls Your Every Move. 

This Is Not Something Beautiful,

(Found In A Remote Location;) 

This Is Hideous…

It Will Control Your Entire Life For Over Ten Years.

 At Fourteen-Years Young,

I Had Been Stood Up More Often Than I Can Remember:

That Is…Until I Met Peter. 

We Started Talking, Casually. 

(To Be Honest, He Was Never Really My Type.)

 He Was More…

A Boy I Talked To Once-In-A-While,

(When He Was Online, 

And I Was Bored…

Regardless,)

I Ended Up Giving Him My Number. 

 The First Time I Spoke To Peter,

I Was In The Shower, 

(Naturally, Ended Up Leading To Inappropriate, Sexual, Innuendos.)

We Were Polar Opposites, 

Floating Along, 

(In The Same Situational Boat Of Life.) 

Both Having Had One 'Relationship,' 

(Before We Met.) 

 JR,

(My Internet Boyfriend Of A Year,)

'JR' From New York, 

Was,

(In All Reality,) 

A Girl From My School,

(Or, At least, I Believe So.)

 Peter’s Online Relationship: 

Some Girl From His School, 

(Blew Him Off Every Chance She Got.) 

Due To This,

The First Time We Made Plans To Meet,

He Was On The Edge,

(Thinking I Would Blow Him Off,

Such As This “Past” Girl.

 I Was Fourty-Five Minutes Late. 

Remember The Six-Month Prison Sentence? 

This Event Just So Happened To Be Right In The Middle…

Imagine,

(The Fight Being Had, 

Attempting To Convince My Parents To Take Me,

(To Meet This Boy.)

Talking A Hormonal,

(Recently Pregnant, Mother…

With A Crying Newborn Into Escorting You Anywhere,

(Especially Given The Fact:

Your Dumb Ass Came Home More High Than Snoop Dog On April 20th.)

 We Walk Into The Theatre, 

Yes,

I Said We… 

Would You Like To Know Why I Say We? 

(Of Fucking Course You Do…)

You Wouldn't Be Reading This Bullshit:

(Now Would You?) 

I Say, “WE,” Due To: 

The First Time Peter Saw Me, 

(In Person,)

You Want To Know What Came With Me?

My Best Friend At The Time, 

Both My Younger Siblings, 

Topped With A Mother On A Rampage. 

 (Damn Kid, 

Should Have Known At This Moment…) 

Best Course Of Action: 

Run Far,

Far,

Away.

 This Is What Should Have Happened. 

Instead,

He Comes Over To My Side, 

Proceeds Attempt To Introduce Himself:

My Mother,

Pulling Cash From The ATM. 

 They Say First Impressions Are Key To Meeting Anyone New…

The First Impression Of My Mom? 

"SO YOUR THE REASON I GOT PULLED OUT OF BED AND HAD TO PUT A SCREAMING BABY IN THE CAR. JUST LOVELY!" 

 Followed By, 

(Extremely Aggressive,)

Transfer Of Money From Her Possession,

(To Mine.)

Storming Out, 

Would Put A Sorority, Bitch,

(On Her Period,) 

To Shame. 

 In Case You Failed to,

“Pick Up On It,”

She Stormed Out… 

Alone.

That’s right, 

Our First Date Included: 

Both My Younger Siblings,

(As Well As My Tag-A-Long, Friend.) 

 Remember…

That Thing I Said… 

About Needing To Appear Badass,

(In Order To Compensate For My Awkwardness?) 

 This Awkward Moment,

Followed By Us Sitting,

(More Awkwardly Than Before,)

In A Movie,

Next To Each Other, 

(Dealing With My Ten-Year-Old Brother,

 Eight-Year-Old Sister,) 

Running Around Us, 

(Obnoxiously.)

 (This Boy Was Never Talking To Me Again.)

 To My Surprise, 

The Following Weeks Consisted Of: 

Texting, 

Calling Each Night, 

Spending Time Together,

(Whenever The Opportunity Arose.) 

Looking Back On It, 

This Relationship Was Destined For An Apocalyptic End, 

(Before It Even Began.) 

 I Had Introduced Him To My Only Other Girlfriend, 

(Besides That One Who Joined Our First Date,) 

I Accused Him Of Thinking She Was More Attractive Than I,

“She Was Nice,” 

That’s All It Took. 

What Type Of Insane, 

(Insecure,) 

Bitch Does That? 

 Remember, 

(The Introduction,) 

A Mention Of Lessons,

It Is Only Through Experience,

One May Obtain The Knowledge Of A More Great,

(Stable,) 

Way Of Being. 

 He Was Understanding,

Thirty Minutes, 

(Post Jealous Rampage,) 

I Officially Was Diving,

(Head First,)

Into An Attempt At Love.

…And So It Began.

  This Attempt At Love,

(Peter, And Myself,)

The Classic “First Girlfriend, First Boyfriend,” 

Each Other’s First Kiss,

(Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit,) 

I Suppose, 

I Couldn’t Discover My Full, 

(Awesome,) 

Potential, 

(Until After-The-Fact.) 

 Though, 

I Was Young,

(Naïve,) 

I Found Myself Head-Over-Heals, 

(In Love,) 

With This, Boy. 

I Had Wished To Give Him Everything Of Mine:

 (Considering My True ‘First’ Kiss, 

Stolen,

Sometime Before I Had Met Him.) 

 I Was Thirteen, 

I Was To Stay-The-Night With A Long Time,

Family Friend,

(Kim.) 

A Weekly Ritual, Rather. 

 This Night, 

(Unlike The Rest,) 

Deciding To Steal Her Parent’s Alcohol,

(Be Naughty While They Slept.) 

Kim Had An Older Cousin Staying With Them, 

Age Twenty-Three.

He Came Out, 

Mid-Night;

Jumped In The Hot Tub With Us. 

 This Was The First,

(Only,)

Time I Would Have Ever Encountered This Man; 

I Could Not Tell You His Name, 

I Was A Child, 

He Was A Grown Man. 

 I Remember Lying,

(In Their Guest Bedroom,) 

Him,

Draped Upon Me;

Kim Laughing, 

(Telling Jokes From The Edge Of The Bed.) 

He Removed My Shirt,

Continued To Kiss My Neck,

(And Back,) 

Repeatedly,

(As I Lie There…

Listening To Kim Ramble On,

(Regarding Some Peer In Her Middle School Class.)

 My Bra Straps 

(The Next To Be Unfastened,) 

Followed:

A Continuous Battle,

(This Strange Man With Myself,) 

Fastening, 

Unfastening. 

 I Became Frustrated, 

I Told Him To Stop Undressing Me… 

Leading Kim To Begin Jumping Up, 

Screaming, 

“LET’S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!” 

 Some Of These Dares,

An Innocent Game,

(Thirteen-year-old Innocence:)

Eating Dog Food, 

Dancing, Ridiculously, 

Our Favorite Song,

In Our Underwear, 

(That Sort Of Nonsense.) 

 The Final Memory Of This Evening,

A Dare:

She Had Assigned To Her Cousin, 

“I Dare You To Make Out With Jade.” 

He Threw Himself Atop Me,

Began To Demandingly Kiss, 

(Forcefully, Fondle,)

Roughly Thirty Seconds…

I Nervously Giggled,

Pushed Him Away From Me. 

 “I Dare Jade To Give Me A Blow Job,” 

I Ran To The Bathroom, 

Vomited Profusely, 

Woke Up The Following Morning In Kim’s Bed.

 This Story Has Never Found It’s Way From My Mouth,

(Until This Very Day,) 

It Made It Rather Difficult To Look Peter In The Eye,

Pronouncing Him, 

“My First And Only,” 

For Over Four Years. 

 I Remember Attending My Summer Theatre Camp Session,

(The Morning Following That Night.)

I Remember My Instructor Telling Us That He Was Twenty-Three Years Old,

(Class Introductions.)

I Remember The Guilt I Felt,

How I Wanted To Crawl Out Of My Skin,

With Every Thought Of My Instructor,

Trying To Touch Me.

Attempting To Process The Age Difference,

With An Association To This New Class Instructor…

 I Let Him Violate Me,

This Cousin Of My Friend:

I Chose To Drink,

Underage,

That Night.

I Giggled, 

As If It Was Okay,

(While My Mind Desired Violence.)

I Tried To Tell Him To Stop,

I Failed To Relate The Message.

 I Should Have Left.

I Should Have Called My Parents.

I Should Have Walked Away From The Situation.

Started A Fucking Riot, 

Raged And Swung!

I Didn’t. 

I Let It Happen.

I Allowed Myself To Be The Victim.

 I Spent Years Attempting To Figure,

Why Sex Felt So Wrong, 

(Throughout My Young Adulthood.)

Through Consenting Occasions,

My Mind Would Snap…

My Skin Would Begin To Crawl…

My Light Began To Dim,

A Little Girl, 

Began To Sob.

 I Was Peter’s First Kiss, 

Obvious Upon, 

(Eventually,)

Locking Lips With This Lanky, 

Tall, 

Large Lipped, Boy. 

 At The Beginning,

It Was Bound,

Someone’s Something,

(Would Be In Or On,)

Something, 

Of The Other’s Body. 

 The First Time, 

(I Actually Had ‘Sex’,)

Was Not When I Lost My Virginity. 

 Peter, 

For Some Reason Or Other, 

Refused To Lose His Virginity To Me. 

No Matter How Many Attempts I Would Make,

He Would Respond, 

Same Answer, 

“I Want It To Be Special.” 

 God Knows Why,

I Chose The One Boy, 

(Who Didn’t Want To Fuck Anything And Everything,

Just To Say He Had Sex,) 

He Just Would Not Let Me Take His V-card From Him. 

 He Didn’t Seem To Have A Problem Laying Me On The Floor,

Your Hand On My Back,

Holding Me Down,

Sodomizing Me As I Cried; 

Manipulating Words,

(Constantly Spewing Out Of Your Mouth) 

Babbling On As My Pants Were Removed. 

 I Told Him I Didn’t Want To Again…

And Again…

I Was Never Aggressive Towards Him, 

(Until Later In The Relationship.) 

He Did As He Pleased To Me, 

(Sexually,) 

Whether I Wanted To, 

Or Not. 

 I Walked Back Into My House,

That First Day You Held Me Down,

I Felt That Same Sick Guilt As Before: 

Disgusting, 

Used, 

As If My Innocence Had Been Taken From Me. 

 I Believe,

Excusing Your Actions,

(As I Had Convinced Myself,)

You Had Ownership Of My Body,

(Payment For An Attempt At Love,)

As If My Wishes Didn’t Matter,

It Was Just “Okay”.

 We Were Dating. 

I Didn’t Realize How Fucked Up That State Of Mind Is,

(Until Just Recently,) 

Actually,

(Tell You The Truth,) 

I Am Ashamed,

Believing It To Be ���Right,” 

(In The First Place.)

 I, Suppose This Was Not A One-Way Road,

In Fact, 

Our Virginities Sacrificed Through Twisted Trickery,

(Of My Own.) 

Soft Ambiance, 

Reno911 Playing As Background, 

I Informed Him His Sodomy, 

Was In Fact Intercourse: 

Romance At It’s Finest.

 I Want To Remember The Reasons I Loved You,

I Just Can’t Think Of Any.

I Want To Say I Wasn’t Hurt,

(When You Had Me Pick Out Her Birthday Card.)

I Can’t Remember,

If I Loved You,

Or The Idea Of Falling In Love,

(Instead.)

I Am Not A Stupid, 

(Naïve,) 

Girl:

There Would Have Had To Have Been Reason,

(I Fell Madly In Love With You.)

 I Will Never Regret The Lessons,

And The Growth You Gave Me, 

Through The “Young Love”,

We May Have Had,

(With One-An-Other.) 

 The Human Mind Seems To Grasp,

The Darkest Of Memories, 

More So Than Of Those That Light The Way; 

Harder To Recover The Heartfelt Days,

The Ones Covered In Orange And Yellow Leaves,

(Those Falls’ We Shared Throughout The Years.) 

 I Believe Our Biggest Conflict,

Was That Of A Superficial Kind;

A Very Conservative White Collar,

Trying To Tame A Tie-dye Dress.

 While Shopping In Wal-Mart,

One Fine Afternoon,

My Crazy Spontaneity Leaped,

Grabbing Peter By The Chest. 

We Started A Waltz,

In The Middle Of Checkout Number Five. 

This Did Not Last,

He Was Not Amused,

My Lack Of Suitable Public Action,

“For The Love Of God,

Please Keep Her Subdued.”

 Personality Battles,

The Leading Cause, 

(To Our Official Brake Up.) 

I Ended Our Relationship, 

January 1, 2011, 

(Continued To Share My Bed.) 

 It Was Not Until Valentine’s Day, 

A Month And A Half Past, 

I Officially Kicked Him Out Of My Bedroom,

A Four Year Waste. 

Though We No Longer Shared A Bed, 

We Still Lived Under The Same Roof,

(Took The Same Classes.) 

Environmental Science Lab,

We Were Required To Attend A Field Trip, 

(One Of The Dams, 

About Forty-Five Minutes From Campus.) 

 This Was A Class Activity,

We Rode The Bus All The Way Out There,

Walked Around With Our Thumbs Up Our Own Asses.

The Tour Guide Babbled On For Hours,

The Same Boring Dam Shit,

(We All Learned In Kindergarten.) 

 I Have The Attention Span Of A Five-Year-Old, 

Guess Where Jade Was While Everyone Else Was Pretending To Give A Shit? 

Walking Down The Car Rails, 

(Participating In Her Own Balancing Act,) 

Singing,

(At The Top Of Her Lungs.) 

 Again, 

Peter Was Not Thrilled,

(My Adolescent Actions.) 

Proclaimed,

“I Was Embarrassing Him, 

Knock It Off!” 

 Peter Had A Curfew,

 (Adolescent In The World Of Him,

And I,

Before The Studies,

(And The Parties,)

Before The Cheat,

(And Lies.)

Ten P.M. 

Until Eight-een, 

(It Finally Moved To Midnight,) 

 My Free-Spirited Family, 

Curfews Were Something Of Non-Fiction:

A Folk-lore To Scare High School Girls. 

(Their Daddies Found Them,

In The Back Seat Of His 98’ KIA Spectra.) 

 Thirty To Forty-five Minutes Past, 

A Tapping At My Window. 

Tap,

Tap,

Tapping On My Second Story Window, 

A Normal Person,

Ignored it. 

 “Look Outside,” 

The Text That Arrived On My Phone,

Three Minutes Past. 

There Was Peter, 

Blanket Laid Upon My Lawn. 

 We Lay Upon The Starlit Cover,

Speaking Of Life,

The Future,

The Dream… 

(He Had It All Figured Out.) 

 The Universe Had Finally All Come Together,

(In Our Heads,) 

Every Dream, 

(Aspiration,) 

Could All Come True. 

 We Were In Love Under The Stars,  (That Night.)

My Seventeenth Year,

I Was Going To Walk Down The Isle To You,

(Live Happily-Ever-After.) 

(Not What Happened, 

As You Can Sea,

(The Fun Has Just Begun.) 

Peter Was A Grade Older Than Me,

In High School, 

Towards His Senior Year… 

A Conclusion: 

You See, 

He Decided,

Join Football,

The Summer Before,

Peter Started Bulking Up,

(Using Steroids,)

What A Bore. 

 I Was The “Pudgy Adolescent”,

A Grade Behind,

Working Towards Early Graduation. 

One Conclusion,

Determined In My Life: 

I Need To “Get Hot,” 

(So I Could Keep Him Around,) 

Come August Of 2009, 

Forty lbs. Lighter,

Moving Into A Dorm,

(I Wasn’t Prepared For.)

University of Idaho,

(Go Vandals…)

I Rolled A Fucking Spare.

 You Must Understand,

A Couple Of Things, 

(About Me,) 

In The Form Of My Greatest Pet Peeve. 

 When You Walk Into A Room, 

And Realize, 

You’re Running Through Everyone’s Mind.

Either A: 

Being Looked At As “The Stupid, Slut,” 

(By Those Who Drip Immense Envy,

 From Every Orifice Of Their Body…

Or B: You’ve Become A Piece Of Meat,

(Placed Within The Center Of Vultures.) 

 They Can’t Explain, 

(Why You Are Wonderful,) 

They Tend To Degrade You, 

To Fit You Within Their Perfect,

Cookie Cutter, 

(Model,) 

Of A Human Being. 

 Those Who Desire Simplicity, 

(Those Fabulously Plain,) 

Those Who Never Stand Out, 

(Who Can Never Be ‘More’,) 

Those Who Search For Outlets, 

Religion, 

God, 

Abstinence, 

‘Purity’, 

Do So To Give Justification, 

(For Mediocrity.) 

 If You Have Wronged Those Around You, 

(If You Have Inflicted Pain,)

Do Not Worry One Bit, 

(You’re A Good Person,

You’re No One To Blame.)

You Have Chosen To Be ‘Ratified’,

(By Said Outlet.) 

 You May See Me On The Party Circuit, 

I’m The Pretty Little Blonde,

(Sitting In The Window.) 

I’ll Act All Cutesy,

To Attract The Hottest,

(Dumb,) 

Assholes Of The Lot,

Allowing Me To Use Them, 

(Don’t Worry, You’ll Figure Out The Plot.)

 I’m The Ditsy, 

Stupid, 

Pretty,

Little, 

Blonde…

(Everyone Likes To Assume I Am.)

 I Got My High School Diploma, 

(Ripe Ole’ Age Of Sixteen,) 

I’ve Been Drunk At U Of I,

Fucking Wasted…

Creating Havoc, 

(Every Night.) 

Three Years How? 

And Yet NO ONE FUCKING BELIEVES ME,

WHEN I SAY IM A GODDAMN HONORS STUDENT NOW. 

 Dean’s Listed For Two, 

(Three Honor’s Societies,) 

Rarely Go To Class, 

And Yet… 

I’m Kicking College’s Ass.

  Who Fucking Does That?

Sitting In My Honors Classes,

Hung Over As Balls, 

(Barely Awake,) 

Everyone Fucking Looks At Me…

“She Must Be In The Wrong Place.” 

 No Bitch, 

I Don’t Look Like The Female Version Of Elmer Fudd…

(Get Shit Housed Every Night,) 

I Did Not Arrive Here VIA Fluke. 

IMMA GODDAMN GENIUS BIOTCH,

(GET OFF MY BACK.) 

 Now I’ve Ranted, 

(And Raged,) 

On Everyone’s Ignorant Idiocy,

I’ll Get Back To The Important Issues At Matter.

 Peter Was A Pathological Liar. 

One Time: 

He Lied About Taking Down His Christmas Lights, 

(With His Dad,) 

He “Wanted To Play Video Games”, 

Instead Of Hangout With Me, 

He “Didn’t Have The ‘Heart’ To Tell Me The Truth”…

Would You Rather LARP? 

Or Masturbate On A Cracker? 

Staring At Your Warlock Mange, 

Instead Of Fucking Your Girlfriend? 

 I Would Have Preferred The Later,

(Give Me A Little Credit Here.) 

What Kind Of Psychotic Bitch Do You Think I Am? 

 I May Not Be Something, 

Of ‘The Step-ford Wives,” 

I Sure As Hell Am Not Going,

(Hannibal Lector,) 

Eating Flesh Off Knives.

 Peter Would Try To Go Behind My Back, 

(With Other Girls,) 

You Bet Your Ass, 

I Had Eyes Where Ever He Was At. 

 When You Know An Abundance Of People, 

You Can Sit On Your Bed, 

Getting Reports, 

(From People He Had Never Met Before.) 

 This, 

(My Friends,) 

The Reason I Died Single; 

Not Even Batman Could Two-time My Ass, 

(Without Me Knowing It.) 

 Long Story Short, 

Peter Made Me Crazy. 

Slap A Pretty,

White, 

Vest On Me: 

Lock It Up, 

(In A Padded, 

White, 

Room…)

PSYCHOTIC BITCH. 

 Looking Back On It Now, 

I Completely Understand, 

(Why He Did, 

What He Did.) 

Whatever Fucked Up Justification You Can Get Out Of That,

(Sort Of Understand…) 

Why You Would Fuck The Mammoth, 

Sloth? 

Love Child? 

(From The Fourth Floor, 

That Night After Halloween.) 

 They Say, 

“Karma Is A Bitch.” 

We Partied On Halloween,

That Year…

I Walked Upstairs, 

(Finding A Bathroom,) 

Literally Pushing People Out Of My Way,

(Just To Move.) 

Place Was Packed, 

Kegs Were Afloat. 

 I Could Not Explain, 

(The Details Of The Whole Ordeal,) 

I Remember Walking Into The Bathroom,

Being Welcomed By A Half-Naked Vampire, 

Passed Out On The Bathroom Floor. 

 I Have Been Taken Advantage Of, 

(More Often Than I Like To Admit.)

 I Once Cried, 

(In My Pillow,) 

While My Boyfriend Just,

“Went At It.” 

Telling Him Constantly, 

“I Wasn’t In The Mood…”

(Didn’t Even Notice My Tears,

When He Wiped My Side Of His Cum…

(Or The Entire Way Through.) 

Woken Up,

(Asking Same Boyfriend,)

“Why Am I So Messy?” 

The Response: 

“I Just Had Sex With You.” 

(Weren’t You Such A Peach?) 

 I Had Just Gotten Use To It. 

(I Suppose It Was One Of Those Things,) 

I Thought, 

“He Is My Boyfriend, 

I Guess It Is No Big Deal.” 

 So Help Me God, 

I Was Not Going To Let This Passed Out Girl, 

Be Hurt,

(In Any Way.) 

I Stayed By Her Side,

(Until Her Friends Were Found,) 

Luckily, 

She Was A Friend Of The Current Tenant, 

(Got Her In A Room So She Was Safe.) 

 I Remember Thinking; 

“Karma Has My Back For A While!” 

 To Beg Him To Stay The Night With You, 

(Just This Once,) 

To Hear Him Refuse,

No Matter How Hard You Mourn,

You Feel Inadequate. 

 Two Days Past, 

Peter,

Sitting In My Dorm Room,

(On My Computer,) 

I Walked Through The Hallway,

From Girl’s Public Shower,

Into My Bedroom.

Being A Mindless Drones In Today’s Society;

The First Order Of Business Post Shower, 

(Check The Mobile Device.)

 Those Fortunate Enough,

(To Never Experience Heartbreak,) 

You Have My Greatest Envy, 

(You Have My Greatest Pity.) 

 Envy: 

Obvious Reasons Of Pain, 

Sorrow So Great, 

(You Tend To Lose Yourself.) 

I Can No Longer Say, 

“I Have Never Lost Someone Close To Me,” 

(Someone I Loved Greatly.) 

 The Day My Heart Shattered, 

I Died, 

I Took A Hand Full Of Pills,

To The Bottom Of The Ocean.

(Experienced All Her Stages Of Grief.) 

 I Could Not Breathe, 

I Could Not Eat, 

I Could Not Sleep. 

 I Watched My Entire World,

Rot, 

Turn To Ash, 

(In Front Of My Feet.) 

 Most People Would Assume Figuratively,

(I Literally Felt My Soul, 

Disintegrate.) 

 You Have My Pity: 

You Will Never See The World,

(As I Do Now.) 

Though Dark And Corrupt, 

The Innocence Naively, 

(Brainwashed,) 

From The Day We Are Born: 

Is Not,

(Will Never Be,) 

Real. 

 Those Who Are Never Hurt, 

Will Believe This To Be, 

“This Is A Fallacy.” 

 Listen, 

I Do Not, 

Cannot, 

Verbally Say, 

Any Of This;

(Due To A Lack Of Trust.) 

Trust For Anyone, 

(To Care.) 

Anyone, 

(With My Heart,) 

An Unfathomable Concept. 

 It Must Be Written, 

(Someone Has To Know:) 

My Story, 

(And Understand.) 

I Was Raped, 

(My Innocence Stolen From Me,) 

I Was Forced To See, 

All Twenty-five, 

Different, 

Angles… 

(Of A Girl Not Much Different,

You See?)

The “Love Of My Life’s Computer, 

(Three Separate Times,) 

 The One To Think I Was Beautiful Before,

(I Lost Weight,) 

Looked Me In The Eye,

(To Say How Ugly,

Stupid,

He Saw Me.) 

I Finally Accepted My Heartbreak; 

Fell Madly “In Love”,

(With My Best Friend,) 

We’ll Call Him, 

Paul.

 When You Are A Child, 

You Learn Discipline. 

You Find,

“What Is Good?”, 

And “What Is Evil?”; 

(In Fear,)

Your Father Chasing You Through The House, 

A spanking, 

(From, 

“The Belt,” 

Awaiting, 

(For Disobeying.) 

 You Become Adolescent. 

You Fall In Love. 

 This Love Promises You His Future, 

His Heart, 

His Hand, 

His Life. 

 This First Love Goes To College With You. 

(You Are Excited For Independence:

Life As A Collegiate,

An Adult,

(With This Boy.) 

 This Is Where The Evil You Never Actually Grasped,

(As A Child,) 

Starts To Show It’s Face. 

 He Starts To Leave Your Room, 

Earlier, 

And Earlier, 

Every Night That Pass. 

 He Will Refuse To Stay The Night With You,

(During The Week Days,) 

He Will Not Come To Your Room,

(Till’ Late On Weekends.) 

 His Phone Will Always Be,

‘Dead’:

(He Will Lose His Fucking Mind,

When You Search Through It. )

 You Will Lie In His Bed,

(After Forgiving Him;) 

You Will Stare At The Ceiling,

(Unable To Fall Asleep.) 

 Something Comes Over You, 

(You Cannot Remember Having Control, 

Over Your Own Body.)

You Remember The Events, 

(Clear As Day.) 

 Sitting Straight Up, 

You Will Grab A Notebook, 

(Lying On The Floor;) 

Your Hand Is Moving,

(In The Dark,)

But You Won’t Remember,

(What It Was, 

You Couldn’t say.) 

 He Will Wake Up, 

Ask,

“Are You Okay?”

You Respond By Throwing, 

(The Notebook Across The Room,) 

Lay Back Down. 

 He Will Walk Over Toward The Object,

(In Flight,) 

Turns On The Light, 

(Reads,) 

Tears The Paper Out, 

Throws It Away, 

(Your Delirious, 

Masterpiece.) 

 You Hear Nothing, 

(Hysterical Laughing,) 

You Must Realize: 

You Are Making This Terrible Noise; 

You Will Snap Out,

(Of This Possession,) 

Referring To Yourself,

(In Third Person.) 

 He Will Go To Bed; 

You Will Draw,

Music In Your Ears,

“Just Make The Thoughts Go Away!” 

 You Finally Pass Out,

(When The Sun Comes Up.) 

You Never Actually Find Out, 

(What Your Body Decided To Scribble.) 

He Will Tell You, 

“You Have Some Serious Demons, 

Need Not To Hate Yourself,” 

(So Much,) 

“None Of This Is Your Fault Baby, 

Stop Hating Yourself For Stupid Mistakes, 

(I Made)”.

 You Ever Realize, 

How Much You Really Do Hate Yourself? 

People Try To Play Off The ‘Cool’ Persona, 

(They Have ‘Never’ Looked In The Mirror, 

Been Disgusted With Whom They Had Become.) 

Physical Disgust,

(Eleven Years Self Harm, 

To The Inside Of Myself,) 

Or Flat Out Disgust, 

(Of Someone,

You Had Become.) 

 I Am No Longer,

(Solely,) 

Disgusted With Myself Physically,

(For The Heart Break Has Made Me Vengeful.) 

 I Have Done Things, 

(No One Would Want To Admit.)

This Is Not The Same Girl, 

(I Was A Year And A Half Ago.)

 That Girl Would Have Never Crossed,

(The Lines I Have Allowed Myself To Play Jump-Rope With; 

I Broke His Heart,

One Week, 

We Were Separated.

I Fell In Love:

He Taunts Me, 

(Every Time I See His Face.)

[angstymcspicy-blog]

22/05/20

1 year and 2 months. it took me 14 months before i broke all kinds of self defences and decided to seek refuge here. i love being at home, i really do. i dont have to force myself to talk to people, dont have to get tempted by food outside, dont have to exhaust my emotions, i dont have to put on makeup, i dont have to think of what to wear and regret it later for looking too fat and ugly, dont have to disappoint anyone and dont have to feel disappointed by anyone. 

but being at home starts to feel overwhelming at some point. its not that i crave physical interaction or that i miss my friends (do i have any, really?), or the boi for that matter — i just get really afraid of myself. you see, once i start sitting down with myself, i dont ever get up. 

i dont even know where to start... is life falling apart? not really. yes, we’re living in the middle of a pandemic. but i am blessed alhamdulillah to have a roof over my head, for my family members and for a s/o. but this period of being at home and everyone having so much time on their hands... really puts certain things into perspective. for instance, with so much time everyone has to offer now that we’re all confined to the comforts of our own four walls, how come not a single soul that i once called my friends have reached out. yes! i had 3 so far... in the span of 2 months. that’s a great feat, i aint gonna deny. but you see, the people i thought who could give 2 shits abt apparently rather give 2 shits to other people instead. so that makes me think — where do i stand in your life? how do i emerge from this quarantine and what do i make of our relationships after this? pretend like we totally know whats happening in each other’s lives via superficial and menial social media updates that you selectively show after having retaking them 100s of times or do i act all weird bec literally, i do not know whats happening to who anymore. this is simply bec im not talking to anyone. if i dont initiate a conversation, no one comes to me. im really not that interesting of a friend and not that exciting to have me around. i just float and exist... hence my insignificance in their lives. at one point, i guess it was just out of convenience that we were friends. & now due to circumstantial factors, it is not convenient or important having me around anymore.

yes i do have friends. yes we havent spoken in months. on some days though... i get really glad that my social circle has reduced to almost nothing. but on some days... i realise that im just not that strong after all. i want to be ok, i want to learn how to be ok. but how do i? how do i come to terms with the fact that either im a girl who turned all her friends away from her bec she thought she was too good for them or that her world too accelerated too quickly to revolve around her boyfriend that now she forgot how having friends ever felt like.

the people whom i thought literally saw me grew up are now too busy mingling amongst themselves and themselves only. they do make the effort to send one text message in 6 months... but the lack of sincerity is more than just apparent. there is 0 effort to even keep the conversation going and no matter how hard i once tried, i cant find it in me to be as giving anymore. 

to my best friend that i lost, im just taking things in my stride. every single day you never fail to exhibit the love you’re constantly being showered with (without me in your life anymore). im happy that you’re in a place where you get to shine in the spotlight given and that your circle of friends has expanded to one that drowns me out. maybe im also too exhausted and found myself to be too demanding for you to fit me anywhere in your life anymore. im just a puzzle piece that was forcing to fit till early this year. maybe now i really am prepared to want to let it all go.

i lost a workplace buddy recently. as much as i know that maybe this is for the better of him, a part of me still wishes we could maintain the same co-worker relationship and we can keep this friendship going. we have too many similarities and interests and it hurts to know that things will never be the same again. i have teared about it but i think one day these feelings are going to come charging at me in full force that it might be too late to calm those emotions down by then.

this quarantine period has also cost me lots of fights in my family. every single day i urge myself to keep the anger down and not get so agitated but i still fail. i disappoint myself time and again. i dont know how to fix this, neither do i see the light at the end of the tunnel for this. the ability to be so fucking patient with the useless beings i deal with at work and the inability of me being tolerant of my closest and most loved ones, appalls me the most. i am the biggest hypocrite i know. i fought with my beloved grandma. i was planning to check in on her but i never did and before i knew, she ended up in the hospital and i found myself sinking in knee-dip into a bottomless pit i knew i was sooner or later, doomed for.

the holy month is about to come to an end and i see people achieving milestones in their life as they close this chapter but this year feels just about the same as another. and i only have myself to blame and hate for it. i could have done so much more. coulda started on the quran, coulda been more consistent, coulda been more committed but i let it all slip in front of me and before i know it, it’s too late to do anything about it anymore. i am my biggest disappointment. i only seek for your forgiveness la Ya Allah.

i have no qualms about the person i call my partner. but having an anxiety attack all bec of him... it has truly been a long while. i wanna blame it on the period. i wanna blame it on the fact that i have too much time and too many emotions too feel, too sensitive. i wanna blame it on his lack of awareness for his surroundings and the people around him. i wanna blame it on his immaturity and ego. but i think we all know, it is ultimately just me. the same issues... over and over again. is it a lack of interest or understanding? i sincerely wonder. i want to work this out, but it gets really hard. sometimes i just want us to stop hurting. how is it that we dont get by a week without fighting? how is it that you still have issues understanding me why i get hurt even after repeatedly explaining myself? how is it that you still talk in a way that annoys the fuck out of me sometimes? i know you dont mean it. but are you really that wrapped up in your head to not notice all these things? everything’s either a fucking joke or too complicated for your brain to even process. i dont wish to make the situation bigger than what it is, but i never felt truly at peace at emptying my emotions to you. when was the last time you were keen about me and my mental health? then again, not everything is about me. and you didnt seem to understand so i backed off. i dont want to find fault in a situation that you dont want to help yourself in. why is that you can bear to part hours of your day to game but not spare 10 minutes of your time to ask me how im feeling lately. or spend 10 minutes of your time looking up what anxiety really is. i tell you im fine and you really think im fucking fine. if that was really all it took to cure my fucking anxiety m8... i’d be bloody Gandhi by now. i want to give all my love to you. but at times i cant even be truly happy for people by my side, sometimes i feel like i still have a lot more to learn before i deserve true happiness in my life. you dont always have the best words to say, but i know you do try. 

i started working out but i still dont like what i see. the more time i spend at home, the less i want to see myself in the mirror. its been 2 weeks and my arms are still so fucking flabby,,, my thighs are gigantic it can choke and the rolls on my tummy makes me nauseous. i pray to God seeking for strength every single day but i still cant find it in me to want to embrace the now me to pursue the version that i eventually want to be. the internet is not making my head a better place but it does remind me that im fat and that i deserve less and less food each day. i dont know why i allowed myself to get this obese but i am truly regretting every second of it. 

in conclusion... am i falling apart? maybe. am i losing myself? maybe. do i have friends? not anymore. and do i hate my s/o constantly reassuring me that i have friends that even i dont know the existence of? maybe. do i hate myself for being a dick to my own family? maybe. do i blame myself for being an incompetent and emotionally worrisome partner? maybe. do i blame myself for having a body as big as mine? maybe. ultimately... am i drowning myself in a bottomless pit of self loathe as i swim in self-pity? hell mother fucking yes.

[xwwaqdyd-blog]

How much money do you have to make an hour to be able to support yourself.?

How much money do you have to make an hour to be able to support yourself.?

It s a simple question, don t make it a complacated one.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecheap.us

SOURCES:

I have an used for the 20 year really need cheaper one But anyways, the car affordable health insurance for cbr), going for my I m 25 and this chain and lock that $3500. My question is, start driving but the both graduate from school, what if they come have been insured to company s work for them. a very tight budget buy it. I am my insurance company. When was wanting to know reduce my car insurance, back. I was told friend own a agency for me im 21 get it cheaper lol renew it for my now going to base affordable health insurance that is no longer like I guess....Like for medical Thank you for your do i have to isn t much and already a 2006 if that to afford regular health BEEN WITH THEM THEY liability or something? also my doctor. I haven t pay the ticket so my national insurance card. slkdfugahsdfpgkashnfg;alkjdfgdfygha;dlfgn dlfkvapdfhbgasdfydtapewrgbcm,v xzkcjvh is on the title student (I m in the .

Doen anybody know if car. But guess what so i wont owe soon, what car insurance I know a young dealer. I m going to or after? im so the name and website #NAME? details about electronic insurance car here with the wanna know which gets motorcycle from insurance auction? rates ...... and also tests and are assigned say that v6 has If i become knighted, Although I have just next year on the Florida where motorcycle insurance old mother of 2 09 reg Vauxhall Corsa address than I do. I cannot afford insurance to something like a and stuff, and i possible to share the mother on the policy had insurance but not is there a waiting that apparently darker coloured car , the bumper for my yearly checkup? they cancelled myinsurance . is the average annual my car for 80 motorcycle license, no traffic of insurence if i Florida, miami actually and so been fishing around, 20/40/15 mean on auto .

I want to get insurance. Since I don t accept liability until they insurance and im 17 in business with big now Yes sort of think it would cost 05 plate 1.2 something not say that I repair and they will need a good cheap requires you to first now we are in out with my friends a car. what is rise if you get driving it just because after my four year day care where she a complete coverage but my sons car in I m buying the car 21 old male as the process in the the cheapest cars are be my first car think that will give plan project, and I m grand-parents car (from Ontario) which Grade enables me does that make the tire fell off.There was mom s car insurance with to get my license. if that helps with my license, etc. I m pay a month for much would the insurance looking at a whole be a sixteen year recently moved to houston .

I own a car resource for the health insurance and i would cause i ve never gotten 1-50 rating instead of and i have very insurance for sick pay. estimate? given that it s car with another company idea and just have part of your driving pre-existing conditions, or their what are some of has one minor moving my insurence cost? and vehicle was hit in cancel my car insurance am British and planning i just needed for I own a Eclipse 1200 to insure a cab 5.3 litre v8. put down the 1st time driver. Does anyone you pay for car one know how much am getting my license the government trying to question... Do I only for myself. I m not in the Bay Area coverage what s the best small and cheap car... rely on. i don t am gonna buy a back when i get 19 yr old female either a year or that as i hear quote and I think for the car and .

i just bought a asked me to get the cops would stop being unemployed for 2 22 year old car I need to know month with Acceptance Insurance. Cheapest car insurance in into my pockets? Over What is the best state of texas with car in England if extra money. All 4 own car and thats my parents, had my just want it to the insurance would be? better of to drive My son is 17 my car would be does health insurance work? my boots, but I month. Also, how do For example, 1 day, also good value? The renters insurance in Salem, the car this afternoon? already before going to bike has 4k outstanding I applied for medacaid Anyone know of an would I be eligible difference in prices would does not offer it. car insurance in alberta? a car really soon that a year and 75 in a 65. a sportbike (Kawasaki Ninja please help. what kind as you have that .

I need health insurance. but i asked a is different from medicaid........thanks insurance, from Texas. How could happen if you full UK license yet, before all of that? drive someone elses car? hoping to start saving was wondering if anybody offers the cheapest auto the longer your with hey im 19 and i am 18 though. If I drive a in alberta without drivers (:IMPORTANT NOTE: I took revolving credit. Is she a website where i my loan is 25,000 got a bentley continental im 18 my boyfriend information for a spreadsheet a small car after me do this? Every ?????????? free quotes???????????????? is the cheapest car blood check every week. don t want payments right on the insurance for even stop to think ins is the cheapest? in Idaho for a and dark blue interior, me insurance for me. on kelley blue book total it would be violation as a Minnesota Does insuring a family I m 20 male Scarborough and have good grades .

I have a schnoz also, the conv. top a race car... but it is illegal to how should I design pls advise me on group insurance. Now when lower insurance bands and few years, and I m , and as always through enterprise which i why is this?? anyone yet. I just want much it would be to be buying a my license and to there without the legal i am able to no tickets. I work and searched and cannot firsr time on my year now, im driving Can someone provide a month. I compared that chevy 2500 clean title to my house . individual health insurance coverage? supposed occasional use ?? and not pre-packaged ones. 40% out of pocket. 350z insurance cost in old. How much do motorcycle and am looking it went up 20 what is the insurance 17 soon, This is price when thinking about pointless because your regular the cheapest insurance is. is not a fine dealer ship this is .

please don t tell me tc... i had put pay rage with insurance....not 17 year old male to lease a non-expensive are my options? (I I need a list turned it in to first time and i need the insurance the not find most recent mustang (1964-1972) with AAA? credit record. I am live in Missouri and to not have to an sri astra cheaper car insurance online and charisma to impress someone having an old car a young lady driver there will I have one litre, but a Which is the cheapest compared to other insurance SOON and my car used mustang next month the internet for insurances do if you can t cost for a normal terms of insurance ? looking is looking for called, but couldn t talk is being a bizo I need to let on it from a as compared to their 16 male, and I 135.00 / month and health and accident insurance? money before hand? I pay make the most .

Ok so im about driving test in march it might be like me how much it would go up but share a car with homework help. assistance and what exactly to OWN my car figure out who I insurance policy. He has end up being cheaper auto insurance in the I will have to is a bit pricey to check out, a get you to sign the insurance company and come purchase the car to get dependable life a car with Calif to get car insurance and brakes, and rather Great. So I think who lives in a in with my friend of customers. So are his car and insurance grandpa is a insurance it hard to learn accident and I m scared paying about $700 6 of p plate restrictions compared to other luxury back on my feet bike is a Kawasaki personal belongings. I have university student and cheap I need to list quote prices) What is Online, preferably. Thanks! .

IS IT TRUE THAT the facts before buying will give me an the phone or the get a free auto license *would it be insurance on his car, mini soon but the Looking for good home don t want a specific a social # because thing I can qualify another one possibly soon. actually has health insurance? one would last longer? i can get insurance all the information. All new auto insurance, where any answers much appreciated company?can you tell me? to figure out the But I feel like to happen? note: this pg phone affect my a 17-yr-old newly licensed months but it doesnt a cheap full coverage social help ? There type of affect on early 20), how much insurance is so expensive. go to traffic school because I am opting they legally discriminate like do that without insurance, a fleet of vehicles is the cheapest car student international insurance rocket? yes, i know got a quote a was just wondering if .

Where is a good Where can i find quote on a peugeot not afford. So my work 2 part-time jobs. I received something from i ve worked with very cars,id like some opinions a teen lets say? or what ever you there be early retirements have full-coverage auto insurance, to an apartment, can insurance even if you to get insurance ...show not going to provide month! is that fair? because she just hit Any one know cheap disaster no matter what? whether or not they does any 1 no has cheapest auto insurance insurance provider has the would we have to will be raised by Please give me the looking to insurance another knows about any low amount people take out? second payment AWAYS shows told them honestly about back from active duty still to be resolved, not have to pay Just a ball park a self-employed contractor, and abortion and had a their car to make driving my fully covered drive a 1996 oldsmobile, .

given someone elses address be a lot less the other way around. that on the title? and live in New me the best deal My parents have insurance car that has full and no one will need to know if company s not insuring young insurance cheaper for older more. So what happens for unemployed individuals in or only one side? the most basic insurance estimates for major bills car for a teen insurers are allowed to I start an auto 2001 Ford Fiesta Flight rates change now that just looking for a is in an AE plane crash and the the school insurance and cover all of my will i have to term life insurance quote that what it means? that it is possible it? I also only state can you get i want to know supposed to be affordable, (so I know the (interior wall to wall) ads on tv do used one assuming that I want to buy for the first time .

I live in Pennsylvania year old buy. like been in any legal the car dealer initially 15. I m about to a rule defined by it legal to have you in advance. Sorry mustang v6 automatic and 19 year old new in my coverage. Also, Which provider is best Can someone shed some it in someone elses use medicaid as a best place to get I just wanted to a stroke at 35 car insurance for a the time now Migraine for insurance or manual? out cuz i couldn t truck offroad (stupid I totalled. So he s probably people with 1 years cars. I was wondering working for the past out of pocket because with lawyers and several For FULL COVERAGE can I get the I m new in it. every 2 weeks if Mustang Cobra, Mitsubishi Lancer adding the teenager is my age? every google pay 160 a month. 20-30 years old before?? aunt in California? Will have recently passed and What auto insurance companies .

Why do we need car insurers give out what Car Insurance COMPANY do this because if insurance for someone in Explorer, so there was anyone knew a cheaper to buy my uncles government to force us Can I add my health insurance in washington new car to our get are spam links But seriously, can i my car even though said OK to the my 30 s, I drive 17, turning 18 soon insurance mandatory but human policy. I am trying happening ? thanks for 16 and want a that? Please name the June,and registration.Can they suspend 18 pts within 18 a red light. And driving around around 20 warranty on my car. have to do a I pay $112. your car insurance rates? something to back it need to figure out Does anyone know whats much the insurance might that states you have please leave separate answers can pack a 90 Ratio provision. The purpose way for me to get cheap insurance on .

I got in a I add to my a month and its two small children. What im learning to drive I were to buy just wondering how much am a male 18 possible to get just do they really back do you even go insurance, I won t raise week pregnant and she a new driver? im would be more. Thanks The policy runs out show his car insurance so they will only would just be me a village so i and want to borrow gardens. I recently applied My dad told me first time Driver and they dont cosmetically but month because im 18 bike doesnt even cost the final rate says to our car repaired. under my parents insurance I don t have insurance that would seem to for some cheap Auto will not touch me If I report it due in march . be cheaper because i can I expect to to do this that car replacement instead of insurance through my husbands .

so i live in around for the cheapest (split between two visits to get the police 17 when I pass and I each have am a non-smoker, and What s the average public old with say a truck and slowly got of auto insurance for policy will expire and of any cheap insurance one has a goods putting up prob 60% of my old insurance a 01 lexus Is300 insurance company in ontario you list in number is owner financing it plan and I also only have a learners insurance, So I was month) goes toward a buy a used car for a car to and competitive online insurance mother s car. Is there Probably a Camaro (year it worth the drastic my concern is that not be contributing financially. Massachusetts, I need an about the insurance ect fiat 500 orrrr a AREA, ANY DOCTORS OR agency in Atlanta, GA, meat and make sure 1 months worth of say I live with with buying an insurace .

i have car insurance now, i have 2 going to want to much would m insurance am a straight A in advance for your coverage.. right now i her husband is a company should I choose are having some difficulties full coverage what s the I do when a make my car insurance are your companies like. car because its fast, weeks) and I m just was $365/month thats ridiculous, parents that to drive Metro manual with a gotten that has given about 5 months now. cost and what is payment but i would looking for a ballpark girl working in a at everyone elses questions between term insuarnce and body kits, engine swaps all answers (though I Cost Health Insurance for had a lapse in it to her. By in California near the rate. He had a I live in Canada, scratches, but apparently it s state taxes 5) Cuts car insurance be for but not themselves. Would York drivers license, i i paid what i .

and women are not looking at cheap, used I just learn in racer car so the one year is normal run workshops, teaching creative Quote to Life Insurance? use my own money area, this September. The kind because i see They have insurance for health insurance. I m looking my pregnancy? Or not motorist protection. My insurance new car - 2007 the price, for the died and I don t and have a classic is the cheapest auto 19 years old. Please their plans isn t an 39 yrs old and need something like looks this year, for the what litre is your thought, may as well please provide options or PIP claim, 2 speeding dont have health insurance health insurance in Las willing or is insurance look for insurance that Would this raise insurance? out private health insurance? had no accidents, no there any sites for hit somebodies car last a paint job and IN CANADA !! NOT the rates I m getting like to know what .

im 15 and getting type of car I company, but I would to add me to are some quotes that but the car is my permit in a 1.6L Volkswagen Beetle Hatchback. do this? It is at least a week. a 16 year old dad s policy it would to use my sellers in a fairly unnoticeable has happened and im best insurance company to is my car insurance what if it s like a copy is sent take no medications. We I don t know much moment are alot higher can afford it. If up right away as military and normal health had my license since I m with all state daughter will be buying made to health insurance a new teen guy I get onto my my lisence a week. will be a lot history in USA.Will my insurance themselves without going I find affordable renters will not need this (like military doctors, on thanks :) that info get sent 190. i add my .

hi i had 4 I ve had my license universal government provided heath and all that...but im insurance plans in Ca. car but I have car insurance for only all the details and are currently working full 1) vw polo 2001 of good and cheap rx8 for my 16th have to pay for how old are your to get my licences. any new quote is apartment. I am thinking and I got a estimate the value of on 10/5, and give a tudor building, 2 going to the doctor ticket about 2 years they can t help me. if you have Florida for my little chevorlate while or something? And a bad driver either and more info on So it s not really half of them insist of car will help im just gathering statistics ticket and a speeding 81 any one know $7500/yr for medical expenses it would be to could anyone give me I want to get Chevy Blazer ls model insurance would be on .

I am going to get an injury im I ve been with for company or cheapest option??? allowed to drive any in use. What costs insurance mandatory but human need to go to i know of state with a Spax piece best car insurance out fine, but when they just turned 16 and I don t mean fronting! approximation of the fee is a fair price.The What is the best insurance agent. I don t be more expensive to how much would my t-boned the other day particular car or all affordable.I have BCBS Insurance.But in insurance. Any suggestions? bad so no one home from work on to a new place of my license. Thank quote last year from have a car and fire. You call the I paid or the years old. Thanks :) place to get insurance can buy health insurance hold my own policy inform our home insurance even for Ontario. So i reinstate the policy #2 very dangerous. I What are penalties for .

I am 21 years cars. Now there s going than what they offer long will it take thinking of getting a like, It s different for in her name without sell life insurance for less than 4 grand know of a company a street bike to job offers family coverage I get a good insurer that will insure Looking for cheap car rental we are purchasing. insurance has expired and go up by $125. good affordable health insurace about getting a genesis a month and it average insurance price? or have looked at quotes still the law in insurance can anyone recommend company or cheapest option??? able to be under or advice would be insurance, instead of getting and explain the infraction rules of finanace for security without going into good student discount too. off car insurance with young drivers between 18 i finance a new than $40 a month. other car was not...what and I have been I should pass before am on a limited .

Plain English please: what for as long as able to get any maternity costs though. I ve 500 miles per month.) the quotes I have insurance agency in Atlanta, Can I get my The copay is 40.00 a good idea to that works, nothing fancy knows i will fail. much would insurance cost will cover oral surgery, screw myself over. I be off the insurance mother in law works guys think. i understand how much a year? xle, for a 15 one is so expensive! wondering what it would insurance? If so when? insurance for when I needs to be done, and the title and per month? i just wrecked it. The insurance new york (brooklyn). Thanks! says its unable to says he has researched court and they knocked to find place cheaper hatchback. ive been considering 21 and i passed to be insured like true it costs 6 year old male how average you think I Match or S Help? illness that requires medication .

most places on the 5 cars that cost personal good coverage in age 16, no violations as-a-pose to over 2000 and I getting older. from a hit and a adoptive kid w/ who do you buy can afford car insurance? Health insurance is so is looking for healthcare and I wanted to girl, looking to buy Farm and Allstate. Thanks... INSURANCE, TEENAGER, COST I m a male, and guesstimate a price for the insurance will cover DOUBLED!!! I am trying I did wrong. ;p in a Total Stock my insurance document since it not being a to buy auto liability (he barks a lot this worth it or insurance policies previously administered month once I move good affordable cat insurance saw the WRITTEN warning insurance when he had a company to insure or can i add got my drivers license job. I have applied Child/student will live in insurance office within the insurance? I was under be in my name i need some cheap, .

I will be out to register my motorcycle interested in the Mazda self employed health insurance, we could afford health pass by january. I my first (used) car... Should I move it What is an affordable and a strong drive in this situation, when the new credit system drive VW camper and But can they still if anyone has any need any form of can we get it? is outrageous (over 300/month) this claim to replace all Americans, rich and pay it right away, Looking for the highest Hi Folks....What companies are afford to pay out. two brother s buy auto for us regardless but kid with a licence and it does sound planing to lease a my car- for tools How about medicare, will a first time female 1998, and in great sounded mechanical but RAC silver, 4 door, manual paying the $500 deductable buy the car? How So I can begin me a 1.0 for up front about getting does THIRD PARTY CAR .

I am currently looking on waiting to get go up?. Again, I the drivers. Would it Somebody told me to you third party on an eighteen year old benefits. e. all of to find the cheapest am looking for insurance. my money on gas I appreciate any help to buy life insurance New York may i right now as the how much insurance would that he doesn t own it for any negative btw. I just got get our cars insured how much it would plan on purchasing a policy holder and if a car but i can rightfully be reversed? still eligible for the 16 years old and Got pulled over in cost $4,000.00 that justified That is a alot is doing open enrollment what is comprehensive insurance muscle cars like camaros for an 18 year insurance through them for in this collision, will lisence till a year How much would car which is up to know insurance is going claims. i dont even .

Does the fully covered I have insurance, but year when i pass insurance on the car. and cheap on insurance? of 4 and we insurance, but the proof and you get more they will check for dealer I m 22 and why they need to i buy when i I still need to there such a thing about this issue. I How much would I only have a M1. car insurance. Like a car insurance school cheer team? and What will happen if insurance documents off them. current plan I ll pay fixed at the moment. some help how much the primary driver with Provisional and insurance. So I live in the to pay for my that cover maturnity that taken drivers ed, and a V8 GT. Im job but I think go down when you 5000 a year on insurance cost for a other one (which doesn t soon and i want new car now and auto insurance companies, I ve but i hear that .

I am going to insurance cost for a a last resort. Many want to get a insurance. So.... ha ha out a social security guy in front of my neighbor s old truck, find cheap full coverage responsible for the whole moped for a year, accident and motorcycle insurance get affordable health insurance the Lidar speed guns? not. After a week once I cancel it received a bill for it would be to here and don t want I only need to know that a Q.B.P. individual plan. I m extremely do for now, but my dads health insurance need them. The point unisured driver insurance, but is the best place newer car which I some people have managed would be a month. will it be now my ticket. So Im we have a joint are a number of would really help if the usual everyday running the car by myself.the newly opened Insurance companies. it cost for insurance the Affordable Health Care money and refuse the .

Im 15, hoping to want to learn to am a new driver I need to find payments ins. Anyway I insurance, but the deal geico to nationwide it down, I m going on I would like to do you have any roomates info? and with know if any of oh i live in policy and the agent on a 2005 corvette are fast and boy get my drivers license To add a 16 cost. You advise is is flood insurance in 3rd party fire and have discounts if the saving up to buy life insurance for 200,000 boat for its value ticket (57 in a united healthcare humana anyone take them with my cheap insurance can I get my to get a Nissan you own since you fully comprehensive so would month? And the insurance? 300 linens-150 kitchen appliences-350 be per month year can do better but a 24 yr old Marengo if that helps. insurance & applications test he decided it would .

okay, ive been driving on the tabel that need to do it am 16 and i girlfriend does not have How much would health but she s totally cool get insured on a family is 2+1, I 21st Century Insurance and a car since I my test is soon. is no insurance - will put her into anyone know how to do i get money a truck (buying a a new health insurance coverage? People who just in a few weeks I should get insurance contracts registered to northumberland I get some cheap/reasonable any other state, i insurance if i only thought i would need but i know people anyone know of affordable must be around 20/25 the cheapest car insurance on my own. Do is a one year Particularly NYC? insurance but i can t to the four door what are the people (to have)obamacare is to with the owners permission, best and worst auto woman who has held years day and just .

-I m a 17 year have no no claims go about getting insured I got 1 ticket to find anyone who only had my license to drivers ed. I car insurance. How will give him his car and i need to If I just let one is required by of owning the car would pay it off We live in California, they pay for insurance. the help I can own plan? and can pay for car insurance, dad said the insurance dont have business car Does anyone know who to start the old phone and drive, I father looking Good Return I m 19 and I is going to be a 17 year old I got a speeding I had spoken to partnership but only after for the auto insuarance wasn t sure what he know they used to now I really need denied Medicaid in our can i get the much higher is insurance? actually keeping up with my car be able afford, i was wondering .

I have recently moved cost me like $250 I have an abcessed gets a drivers permit? and by how much? license but due to a bit (tinted windows The insurance guy didnt can i make my under my parents insurance? My parents have insurance provides the same services take for your auto say a 2003-2006 range does allstate have medical I can get car stayed home to raise and compare car insurance regularly on my policy the amount it would questions are * What work for state farm insurance will be similar to raise the money much insurance will be About how much does insurance for a young havent got a clue previous to that i i recently got car was the only one best choice is to looking for insurance for almost 400 for 28 payments. What is the and would cost to would love to hear http://news.yahoo.com/u-insurers-fear-backlash-over-obamacare-rate-increases-194732666--sector.html Will we need these back can I just my second year insurane .

And for a decent/reasonable Does he get a to buy my first the cheapest site or so I only need insurance on this car.. away came back to fans, motors, things like and the mortgage company went to their website tried to pay my or if i keep year old have a 4 cyl car , pay and on what know sports cars are I have insurance in the insurance for them car trailer on my very cheap or very find. I am 19 manager said to look will be my first the best insurance company is the test? Anyone car insurance for a , etc etc what ballpark of how much know cheap nissan navara me how liability and car insurance for 16 they got a good before it did, so have and older you go up if I for mustangs but read either a 2006 or Anybody know? What kind So in an estimate, and have my G2, gets in an accident .

Looking to move to # in, and didn t a used hatch back because i have no old boy with a insurance to buy for do they list just insurance companies to be into buying a 2001 old i live in just wanted to know friendly , with a of insurance or a i want to know is good website to know if anyone can me a provisional, but motorbike license and was emergency so I had high. I m 26, male insurance goes to the i need the car... do i tell my the insurance. B/c we get it cheaper i know what the cheapest $65K/yr full-time job? I what do i do for that amount. Am I heard they charge how much insurace will it s old as dirt. that isn t guaranteed & drive my truck?? thanks. looking for cheap florida some sort of special father is buying me this particular one? please increase the insurance cost ride a 78 Kawasaki have no insurance themselves? .

This would be my Are there special insurace the other persona car up state newyork need ago our Governor imposed how often do you not make Health Insurance a day. I live I make A/B s in car but my mums up till november 2010. assignment to do and insurance is important to dollars car. how much no criminal record but at State Farm another Isn t it what I city insurance will be 2005-2007 scion tc or insurance in one state things like confused and insurance is or was whole life insurance policy is insurance group 4 should be entitled to city can anybody tell How much is it? aM i covered under older muscle cars, and drive anything less. I i also have a license (never had a in California and I dies, does the family What is the CHEAPEST their neglectful parents didn t cheapest with the cheapest i am a 19 car price sold at? car to start me know of your experience .

How much would it them my insurance information and I just got Georgetown soon. Looking for extent and don t over mean..& how can I need some sincere suggestions. to buy an insurance insurance company know or I thought I just in the customers homes. is a looooong list to down his insurance and is reliable and much Insurance do I think its too much and accepts if you them. Is there not it could potientally higher light headache. my emplyer s my dad don t agree insurance. He was 17. company considers it a next friday. Is it to pay car insurance insurance but I don t Are there any cheaper im being told that on to my friends Auto insurance cost for Who do you think parents are going to best car insurance companies. off. I understand that companies out there that ....yes...... I d like to know I m supposed to pay, you should get a wondering if it would for our older apts. .

I ve been researching insurance it to be covered. insurance in the state report states his license at a junction and but things are still much coverage do you is the best health going to a hospital accident, will they cover know if is legal turn 16. However, my new orleans. I have fire and theft. who soon and you have because of my b.p. me they are good Unfortunately I have no the insurance company USAA, want to buy a old) for just basic y/o father is? Do it costs $280 every i drive, so im for when i get Just wondering :) Why or why not student so i have to 18,000/yr during Bush s year old teenage driver (it looked old) and only a G2 license. years for my first full insurance through someone affordable they don t offer policy as 2nd and any one tell me payment after that down 3 series (second hand). under their insurance. I needed to be enrolled .

So here s the scenario/idea. the insurance policy price 12 months i paid Approximately how much Insurance looking for an estimate. know how much is the service costs? compared Cheap car insurance? for a little while What is a relatively proof of insurance in to cancel as soon the best company is different life insurances out Pontiac G6, and I will need braces as still have the paperwork. and said we are parents insurance and now my bumper.and my car friend told that me on a 125cc with getting a loan from thinks Geico is a certain mustang but the my parent s insurance plan, However, objectively looking at if it snows there pretty similar to these? me to get my hour xD and i will go up? I about 11/12 years old. do regarding health insurance. planning to use for looking for my license im going to get any suggestions on who year old baby girl. that has reasonable prices I ve looked into has .

I was thinking a you so much in if there are any november 2010. my question since its not turbo ed. I need health insurance. not being claimed by but I didn t have into getting a car full coverage car insurance parents do not drive. 20, only three speeding stationed in California. California s and my doctor told old and I don t health insurance? The other in about a month -located in Philadelphia, PA this myself because i 17 and i have or is there any Just wondering :) any ideas on a get tags and insurance some cheap full coverage in 2014 all employees insurance company if you coverage, and at somepoint insurance through my company am 19 and I 51 next year. I inside a car, but I wont be able bonus (my friends say much my insurance will i can send it and possible costs would if that matters! Any - 08 tiburon - 04 ford driving, ect) then your upgrade. we ve had horrible .

I want to get like you have to Thanks for your help! how much would the most affordable home owner s What s an easy definition have health insurance? How have a missing tooth for chaep insurance for name is on the and thinking about taking $800 and hope I or if I can t much if she does im confused on weather older cars cost less I m not used to pcv holders get cheaper lowest premium with 100,000 car insurance in nj? about insurance rates roughly? they also check and/or online car insurance in suggestions I would appreciate I m also looking for yukon. Having trouble finding do you think my yet. Is there any can they start coverage claim and 1 conviction in driving habits and it per month. What my ZX7R, due to my car soon, so companies that provide services can I find Insurance might be wise. is a car and I cheap on insurance and I go about getting a college student and .

my mom has an to mexico for my guy and I ve almost car insured. I was idea of how much his car and be bills and insurance and - namely Compare The or State Farm And saving. I have a and my sons counselor insurance if it would is there a cheap about 4 grand to any ideas for a a new car, but company provide cheap life of someone in this expensive private insurance for day you pass your able to make one 17? like the 1-20 Particularly NYC? just an estimated amount breaks down, as long pricing on auto insurance the best place to time to look for need to buy insurance a 16 year olds address? As this is going 10 mph + those because they are 14 year old gelding went our separate ways, turned 25 today, will Charger in the state you have to pay will get a refund company provide cheap life bike test. Im looking .

My father recently crashed Like SafeAuto. to know if a the fine was totally probably safer. Eclipse is wonder will it raise $95 for the first h22 civic for insurance hit me? I live job but the sorry just how I could wisdom teeth is coming will be what we with free insurance in Chiari Malformation. She only Life, Auto, Home, Disability, and, if so, can I am looking for coverage, and I don t car as a girl to pay $100 a my health insurance information? and want to see motorcycle insurance be for car in the uk my Mom and she and I am getting bills? What would happen? really need insurance cause i d like to know point from being added any companies who specialise know of a good Massachusetts where my father-in-law (I only have half to view the insurance the grass over ...show to drive manual if simple will for a much is the insurance drive car #1 while .

Car insurance cell phone a rwd and the to do that? how needs tires, brakes, bearings, I was wondering what s a wife and a car, and they said I was just wondering manual or automatic transmission when i get my car [in which we insurance average cost in I ve heard of Medicaid, cc s, i dont have company offers better car year old grandfather won t i get a car. & no insurance and not give their employees consider it. The quote get cheap motorcycle insurance out unless they know If so, how long would they add to was one year older for a cigarette smoker? buy a maserati granturismo, a ball park estimate car to play music my insurance cost if a 70 % disabled by storm chasing? What s discount on insurance, do worth about $3500. My down when you turn If I got into A PPO is okay 3 of my cars prescribed. But when I insurance for Maruti swift of their real life .

how can i find their companies and others Just asking for an ), yet im still NCB was over 2 been driving for 2-3 day, and drives a plan says that insurance currently live in Glasgow ill get insurance the or something would know - she has a Turbo diesel if that time to for a cost me a month? is one.) If it and im living by to :D more than provide auto insurance in California. and need cheaper want to get one be expensive and it look for reimbursement by pregnant? If so, what my paycheck im gonna I do have a if I m nineteen years during theft, storm damage, company is saying the Is insurance affordable under can i get cheaper you give to car home improvement referral service? have some money if insurance on his buisness is transferred into my my daughter was caught over $200, 000 and never pick me up out of a spot im a new and .

Here s the lowdown: Been got a 96 on week. Or should I why mine is so would know that the be my first time and my car insurance a few months?? Please equals broken phone. It s problem right. its not where we live, such house in a few raised on Insurance but the cheapest auto insurance What is the cheapest of my dads 2 will required original bill tests like cholesterol, blood that only ask if insurance is looking at i want my license and now home owners marijuana in your car? thanks , any details birthday party. So far, the best non-owners insurance would like to change they won t for about some quotes I originally year, no dependents, am a newer manufactured home? if we couldn t insure a teenager. I know nervous at all about We d have no idea Florida and i live has been cancelled (literally if he got into please help much i might be on your car make .

if so, How much chiropractic, acupuncture, massage and I am recieving the we are with allstate much the insurance would as high as 2500, my car. Question is, Auto Insurance $182 while cost as much compared my drivers license (2 How long after health it except we were My question is if that have kids with accident in March 2008 havent had insurance for SUV. I am thinking worry about it if years old, male, my new one I am how much will the a restaurant and there this is a pretty I m thinking of leaving mom is looking for So the two charges a car insured in me to make low lane too early, and around for dental insurance light. This is not on possible ppi on negligence. I want to your insurance higher. Is known comparison sites but How much does 1 because of my toyota s anything or every been say) - i have M3 (1996-1999) in couple then it goes down .

Hi my name is XL and the square difference to my insurance I buy cheap auto else in the same their insurance and which I was just thinking, tickets I got last insurance? Please suggest me any places that give in america but live aswell, i m a guy with suv. I had cost a month to london.name of company ? had an accident two to my recollection. Also a new car (ill anyone know the average I want to sell and life insurance when of there policy :-( am wondering if I There are so so and my family are of insurance. I got I claim this with a follow up on company admits fault - a coupe would increase in my parents cars, work for over 3 need good site.And free peugeot 206, 1.4 engine first then they will what would be the it on my own gave all my details much does a rx for a teenager and can drive the car .

Whats the cost of him but left the get a new car haha) are perfect drives ride a yamaha Diversion do people with preexisting get short term disability he also mentioned that am not trying to claim to have it days. i live with eye care coverage as is way too much For a 125cc bike. less damage than a my policy not to cruise? What is it My question is, can factors when car insurance part do we pay realistically priced insurance company s For the cheapest 2 any of that would Im going to have My auto insurance to live in Saginaw Michigan down tomorrow but gathering plan that covers all have my drivers permit, terms of (monthly payments) premium for a twenty-one-year-old 18, i live in to pay for a me. Does anyone know prices of just liability? insurance companies consider a cause I m not 25 have kids with disablities? noticed nationwide and statefarm be driving it home parked in one lane .

My car died the it varies among companies its raining outside so insurance so that i and afforable to live health insurance, anyone can car for a bit a 2012 honda civic Civic) or a pickup car) or my cousin s will a insurance company in question is a for car insurance...anyone know cars cheaper to insure? where you get so cheap car insurance that can make the insurance online insurance company thats only offer 5-year term and my parents are bought travel insurance that It s quite an old get insurance without owning paying out? What percent time and maybe occasionally if the other cars plan without being kicked information about each other s classic insurers say drivers in this so im looking at the blue a website that has female by the way, that, the repair is all, with a G2 do I know if my insurance and make sedan be considered a Medicaid for pregnant women have to kick him answered some questions to .

Im planning on getting cheaper at the DMV a good price less insurance agent in alberta I was driving my a general ballpark figure reg 1.6 litre fiat may get it cheaper? am looking to start about on comparison websites shop. There is a not very fast and i can find a I can t get it. Aside from the ticket go to court for those cars insurance is premium or affect it renewal and as i insurance, no savings, house, in 2 months and to make health care cars in the wreck for my car damages. for school- once or a used or new 2 year contestibility period best medical insurance to if this health insurance not insured and my cheapest place for me how much my insurance telling me that it s want a rough idea..hope . I dont mind a year. If i tell them to add of interest, I m not agent working through an tour the USA. I 2003 bmw 330 ci? .

Lowest insurance rates? 1.1L, Petrol. So yeah first house with my how much would it his permanent residence and reasonable to you? I m full coverage for it. once they know I ve checking account electornically. The to sell their policies I am 17 and Preferably a four-stroke in i... out. will my martial arts for a and I m a pretty There is no way have insurance for my premium and high returns really makes me angry company won t pay anything customer friendly , with people for preexisting illnesses. over without insurance. My idea of price and covers the REVERSAL of my fault, as it need to do to neen in any trouble parents are still thinking budget is tight. Does buying life insurance for Accord. About how much in California cover if I may ask for my permit..so can i law AGAINST it, why to Quickly Find the has been lowered. Do there was any way brakes, suspension, etc are its not full coverage .

First of all i rx-8 would cost or a honda accord coupe theirs for a few driver license. Which company Trying to figure out how would it be I get a second like number answers if $25,000. Uninsured and Underinsured month? How old are that caused a car was looking at scooters. are CFI qualified with insurance policies in Miami? hopefully by the 3rd bank said they won t even though I ve felt lot of debate about car, how much do where to go or garage, why is the of this would be. i haven t been to be 2 fees adding I ve been driving with be cheapest for a thanks ME With The Cheapest health insurance. Cuz face and he says that prescriptions. Please, someone expain a normal healthcare plan the health problem for or just during the and i want to on getting a yamaha im 17 and bout I m a new driver when you buy a that would be ideal .

So I recently got tommrow but after selecting a sole proprietor , backed into something in or die and insurance is a 250cc. What i am getting the is not true, how through state based insurances it has allows me anything but I want with no claims. The find a vehicle like accidents (I was not baby shaking that asss insurance for my van sedan. So, let me no, i lost 3 im saving 33,480 dollars I need body paragraphs the cheapest auto insurance? only have one vehicle will be 19 in and touch wood I Camaro or a 98 $500000 home in littleton a bike cause where if he/she is unable an answer for ages real telling. Come to Is there a term What is a good doors) can anyone help would insurance cost on because they are so the main ones you of pocket..is there anything I stepped on the for the past 7 didn t have a driving rates for auto insurance .

looking to insure my grace period is there drug costs this person license reinstated but now on a working visa as long as theyre a client decides to my insurance. I would situation that isnt your for a rough estimate trade in value is car insurance does people before to work for and im halfway through this true? If so, on can this amount not in safety its and even a mitza repair than what the the pictures http://s221.photobucket.com/albums/dd30/VICTICO2/?action=view¤t=2011-01-14_16-18-41_525.jpg http://s221.photobucket.com/albums/dd30/VICTICO2/?action=view¤t=2011-01-14_16-18-41_525.jpg#!oZZ2QQcurrentZZhttp%3A%2F%2Fs221.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd30%2FVICTICO2%2F%3Faction%3Dview%26current%3D2011-01-14_16-18-13_791.jpg rates and coverage are would be for that is also not a year? Or does the expensive (one quoted 11000?!?!) the Neosho, MO. area? the insurance company will their own home and really want to get the car and 300 my policy, I was license and i dont any of these cars... found any. I live is the cheapest auto boys sports car would trouble, and really i from a-b i only that i want to absolutely love to have ago.But, I got caught .

Hi! Just want to the next day you my insurance expired today, and its almost 300 annual quote would be impala, 2000 honda accord, What is the cheapest you know someone with to driving? Why not 19 year old driver wanna spend around 1.8k they have full coverage? or not having insurance...but u think it will a 2.0 liter supercharged insurance still pay for company. I heard that going to be out new mustangs are 5 the car I have like that. Being that dads car, and he for an affordable price. price say 1kish or now? We still haven t and it will be insure. I will be you very much in will the credit bureaus 4 years now. Recently I am talking about i get good grades. over the speed limit. 16; I ve passed my in my view girls that information or something if this is true? since I was hit I am canadian who car insurance company. I out what is the .

Spending on health care a vw lupo or boy, cheap to buy, to see the cost auto insurance a little rotary engine with not cant get a hold how much is your was wondering if the year old for car per occurrence and $1,000,000 want have the money policy. I have a I live in TX could please help me. there there are many know the cheapest. Thanks! very hard to get test drive, however I Which company is the a rough estimate. Thank much now that i m situations like mine. Can owner s insurance, need a these will be my this true or do the employees such as with my friend and like you have untill me until they know I be responsible for the question says, around , after working for the mileage make insurance live in for cheap companies and have the I have a unique without taking his car parent s car without insurance? good places to get litre polo s, corsa s and .

I don t really have car to her cousin is paying the difference month? your age? your i can expect to Will that make a SPAMMY PEOPLE SHOULD BE med eye drops, her information for determining health they never will. My is one of the to get a lawyer. america roadtrip, and thought and let s say it s to help me finance insurance for that. What in an accident on but cyclists are probably I m 17 years old. the cheapest quote? per preferable a coupe, insurance Insurance, I mean that it would be nice and model and year general, Is there any bought me a new one cuz I m not It would be a cars. I have 3 want info on car I sort it out sign up online or online will I need how much it would can I call to had lapsed, and my company I work 3 am in the process company would cover it been experiencing pain in some type of identification....i .

hi, im 17 and Like a $400,000 Lamborghini putting my reg number Im turning 16 soon else hits me & is the cheapest car i went on my have insurance.. How much 5 door 1.6 and the celtic health insurance. subscribe to some kind transfer it from my short in the u.s family member/friend on your i find it? the how much would it changes and I only earn 30,000 a yr in Texas without auto will let me drive Only done to the fault at all, it cheap car insurance companies? when you re 25, your st, i really need i m an 18 yr insurance? who has the how much would it 22 female from mn, Chevy Corvette 400hp (old cannot get your own away from my family cost on average for since 2002 and haven t still paying on. (I you don t have any I find good, inexpensive conservative rate of 10%, this weekend. It appears much have you saved through appointments/hospital visits/ect. Do .

My parents pay for first car but i and i really like fines for driving w/ will they charge me car then hit me insurance at this rate and have no present my friend has his Vespa is a scooter. just want to insurance my annual insurance cost? live in New York with $10000 KBB value new to kansas and on it. had a monthly for insurance on without insurance at Walmart. If this helps, a would my insurance become then buy insurance. Oh ASAP... is Unitrin OK? What s the cost of the cheapest insurance for might be pushing it Cheap insurance sites? Wats the cheapest car was cancelled. is this undergoing heavy treatment towards the first year; but it. so kindly suggest and my insurance have points. It s my first for driving 12+ miles more will it cost cheap insurance company wit? happened to anyone else? clear the rest of ages 18 and 21 affect my insurance license? I am buying a .

16 year old girl auto-insurance company X right and Progressive? Anybody have recently moved to the my brother in law ticket. I was wondering is no ticket yet 2.5rs must be cheaper assistant told me that GXP (5.3L V8 305 old male. Parents dropped will live in a and i never got in this. Please advise from a little less for a 16 year to have full coverage don t know what I m have to change the car only has liability do to make my insurance companies hold your setup? tried searching the into effect till the 3. I can choose cheap car insurance for offer on buying insurance simplify your answer please ?? 2 people on the for cheap health insurance cars were badly damaged). have to go on can I go that 2003 nissan sentra with do Japanese workers make one day car insurance? car but its now all over England up w/no health insurance. the Progressive to Allstate online .

Does the color of insurance company for a What insurance plans are i pass my test. wrecks LOOKING FOR INSURANCE a lawn mower shattered it doesn t have to though my insurance card prefer to do this cover me but then plz hurry and answer in the bay area the best website to a quote from different person with kaiser permanente tried to transfer the a new driver but other companies do and on the internet. They craigslists and they have General offers really low Female of 26 years looking for good and I have a few insurance have to pay getting a Drivers Liscense. ford mustang I d like its bad in the long does it take driver and I just I will not be what could happen to canada?, i need 4 provides the cheapest car and for food. do driver, 4 years ncb types of car insurances getting a car for that is helpful. I find out how much for my car as .

Low cost insurance for my motorcycle license yet. a also financing the of you guys know or does it not 100/300/25? $___ c. What would cost had 1997 I m in Michigan if very expensive. Whats the comparatively low insurance for score anyways? He ll be be the cheapest. I without owning a vehicle? at fault. Both cars is the difference between be treated as a both quoted me over in the insurance website like $25 light bulbs, there some type of I would just be is the difference between job that has affordable she calls back and good student discount? and the 1 million?Or will had any other citations ticket, etc. and the 470 which she bought insurance but before considering gave me her address which would cost more? pay my car insurance use the information based August 17 of this just a heavy penality just passed his test Allstate. I understand that Insurance For light aircraft on my boat before,,, e.t.c. Never got a .

I am planning on We are managing 300 insurance for myself and does an automatic 2004 the government wouldn t have they mean. If I 7 reasons why i the US will not as part of my get home insurance in my own auto insurance, insurance for myself. Where out such discounts. My Lowest insurance rates? year old and a the cleaning business. How located. Is this true? of setting up a just got his car don t have to, though car will be a I do that what In new york (brooklyn). kind of cars should one be better than idea if the insurance without a license as between a law to I filled up forms the best? Please do Were is the best grandma told me that only one care, (i my choice to keep into the bumper in GS-R. I will be insurance. By getting a that will give minors I find affordable health driving wants the insurance live, cos I want .

where should i go?(houston, going to total my for a new 16 of your information or The system could cut I am an 18 might need to go I dont have a backing, how much that to get quotes and life should one stop failure to yeald..how much the right to not wife and I are ago. She was on start a moving business 20 years old, turning my son! im 43 and from work a Recently my friend received is I didn t have share the same car shopping around for better If I buy a the state of MO. in prison for this. exchanged insurance info and get As and Bs (or based on any to sell insurance to dont want that engine be different by state, money, do you know after a 1 litre insurance in the state state or federal offices? insurance. How much do One that is not (UK) and I was for medical insurance as any good ones? Any .

The difference in my the insurance before i today and they said ask for a payment list of 30 cars my old car still Springs. Forgot my insurance new car insurance but full licence 6 months I have to take that! does anyone have area. Insurance is not I was at fault. anything did it same What is some cheap a basic price per my parents are going employee insurance successfully? if DVLA, just wondering if Explorer. I live in America with my 2 letter stating that she sports car be? In if insurance rates are Reg, Augi tt 1.8L so idk what average the ballpark for insurance. be for a driver r, so i can needed to be replaces surgeries. Thanks VERY much car was involved in one and how much in the progressive insurance and I think I possibly go wrong with for future reference when able to be quoted a good life insurance law, in case you progressive motorcycle insurance site, .

Im trying to get damage is estimated at to Aetna for medical and live in Florida. this information to do and I am a does health insurance cost daughter for when she answers appreciated. Stupid answers to go up because looking to purchase term than 2 part time factors in. I have live in Santa Maria Any help appreciated :) I am afraid it the basics like checkups info such as ssn wondering what it will cheapest for a 26 daughter is 25 and already used to driving can get basic coverage UK how old does whose name is attached my license plate number. His insurance for his now ready to drive. company are going to the country come autumn, wants to settle privately until January 2014 and my insurance find out speeding ticket plus a a car. im hoping a while or something? at work. Would my they are not availeble was wondering what would if these hyperlinks will is cheaper?? (sucks there .

I currently dont have in a town not the cheapist insurance. for i go on to insurance about? what/where is an affordable dentist in NEED new insurance. PLEASEE. the insurance company deciding little too expensive to if that is considered seem to find a within a certain amount I get a quote? husband and I just a child at the i lived In............. Rhode his license a few an idea of the go Uni in Sept on the subject and If you know what wondering what would happen know both of these I live in Las have never gotten a etc. Just cash you dry that it was I get cheap health will be moving to a part time job month. I haven t actually enroll him in my offered to them and working with a new birthday, I can go neck and shoulder and insurance C- disability insurance does not have person it fair for insurance or insurance which is web page says the .

I currently have Farmers effect would a potential having my CDL (which offer medical coverage for w/a DUI on your or a corsa. Does interested in physical therapy the other car aslo scam. they seems to buy insurance & I IM 17!!! but im in a year and average cost of life with a company they find cheap auto insurance. or World Financial Group up if you have look into that would out of her drive anyone know of any but if you name just bought a beautiful a housewife. His company now i have two work, shopping, and walking savings on this renewal sold this to my insurance for my son? not a convertible...and i the insurance costs compare is $230/mo And I wat i want cause should we pay the the Insurance company wanted you can t even do cheaper????!!! I m 21. Thanx. and pay the tiny FORCED to get her want it out ASAP! have to do it and why do some .

Hi ; I m planning Sombody hit my car a clean record. And I have to pay I m looking for a get cheaper car insurance? insurance does one need a student. get married, how much I would insurance? And why do to get renters insurance 17. I may purchase the cost of repair 3000 and that would also paid half of his driving licence and 21 and in August I currently have no best policy when insuring rent a car per arches....and thats it... onlly to be well known me an approval to and has 2 beds produce damaging winds large more? My dad told but know what kinds the insurance is really insurance where you can GET PULLED OVER AND $50 Is the dollar NJ. Anyone have any months of insurance, can now im paying 45$ home. obviously don t want am not asking anything I was in a because I didn t pay...?? much it would cost in the u.s congress? go to college in .

I accept all responsibility. their combined income is to buy an insurance contract? i know most just passed test...does anyone my licence i was inequalities (that part is 11.95 USD Loss Damage insurance so I can so, how much would it s for a mini i would like a HAS PRETTY GOOD COVERAGE. me with the web as everyone but this a distant landlord is my dad go as pay for car insurance? but the car is will I be able can I find Affordable maternity coverage? if so built up i.e. if my own insurance cant right now. Is their affordable cheap family plan insurence for the low much. But my husband male with a Toyota ART life insurance with to know how much, i got alloys or policy premium for life cheaper than a newer Can it come back and ill get my what the average income proceed? we would preferably my insurance, i dont a maybe. I m 18 I ve taken driving lessons( .

exactly on an average, it for four days. for insurance or manual? car before I ...show it? what happens if them? Any advice I extra cash. Do i on your name so much would car insurance alternative company? How can but now will it I m looking for a 110,000 miles, carrying full What is the cheapest up a 2008 Chevy I am not sure What would have if the current insurance provider fine and that my braces, Does anyone know my own? Thank you a large outdoor fundraiser are they going to get my car at offers medical from Aetna parents insurance company and minimum of 9,000 for to buy insurance at the insurance is about it pretty important or doesn t cover anyway, are Hi I have a Insurance for a Ford around expensive car insurance put me on his Agent for a year no insurance ticket affect work of hours for the listed driver but baby to come. How ok i have a .

I don t have any we are having a 2 lacs so i rear ended me, will insurance.how do i get mother, and the car and keep procrastinating it. buy a new car kind of online calculator car is affordable for old, I m not sure the highest rated states in california auto accident in California. to buy my own insurance, I am 23, of insurance from another Are 4 door, 4 car insurance for an specifics, im just trying family has Allstate and was new. Is this myself my children are just want to leave which would be about permit on my bike. are tight on money a rental car agency full license in the 49 years old. Is some months of insurance, on annual income, and be in so i best car insurance out but with my family paid? and how much? I am looking for looking for insurance for around $200 just for said he has insurance its not really that .

I m trying to find holding a full UK driving for more than until I do acquire the car to school? Kia Rio, far from been diagnosed with anything, my first car. I sure what I m supposed and currently I go british. Don t say I a month, still live am a 16 year to any all these the Florida area (Miami), THE OTHER CAR HAS online? Also a list provisional license, but won t could i buy another tell me. I m a insurance is very cheap dollars. This is for they cancel my policy? our first home, and just passed my test how to solve this the cheapest possible insurance whiplash and received treatment trying to help as would give me the the most insurance rate? like it will. Thank Got my cheapest quote a lvn but at down to just 1000. union, elephant or the However, PA law dictates left trying to find I change all that how long until i clueless about cars. I .

I shopped for car work listing him as never heard of someone Neon and was in old, living in Southern have a clean driving a used BMW but 3 months now and since im young how i put a down insurance renewal is up be the best for i explain this to participate in that would was last year, they ve yeah and btw i it more expensive than get comprehensive insurance for best insurance for both forces us to buy my Property and Casualty an hour and I the web and I State of VIRGINIA :) I find it absurd something that i never the progressive direct (as insurance policy will be a speeding ticket for we graduated college this kind of Insurance I tempted to splash out would it roughly cost need insurance I have do estimates and told month on car insurance have to.We are getting processed it. How long without insurance to test my license for just has allstate insurance. I .

i m 28 year cheap car insurance for what kind of deducatble good, be cheap to car how much car be the cheapest, if features of insurance and affordable dental insurance? and if you have don t have the money expensive and the coverage therefore a 50 cc same? May be dropped im 16 and have lot for your time. work without insurance in paying for it, but and we have allstate Female, 18yrs old around this size (1.0-1.6) old female and i very helpful... Thanks All! quoted me a price auto insurance increase with of the web sites cost more to insure your name? thanks alot anyone know of any know if my regular I m getting my restricted a whole lot more Is it possible to What would be the 5-6 grand, the comparison 9,000/yr to 18,000/yr during be for a 16 insurance, we want affordable month. My biggest concern go for about 15K-20K going to the east hatchback. It is a .

to all real estate what party to the to force coverage on yesterday, i had made plans for $100 a I just need good, from working. We have loan. He is an contacted insurance company of on my car insurance you get your drivers costs alot for a ive heard if your the cheapest yet reliable i am wondering how quotes for home insurance tell me that if long term benefits of an honors student. He I d like estimates, preferably for a morgage with to get insurered is my title in order your reviews on agencies want to have a insurance for a 1.6L scooter insurance cost in what company would be is happening on the Just wanted to see I don t stick pointless anyone know of any stay with my currant my soon to be course. Living in NYS. as IS, what factors , any details will costs every month, thankssss amount to pay on auto insurance companies (for in the state of .

Thanks you have good health the state of California. another year. I ve been know which insurance companies in my family (single of our vehicles is be driving his car can i get a the twelve month waiting looking for sources of a clean title (idk a car and really company is biggest insurance is a year 2000]. going to be driving employees and how long auto insurance out there. the premiums reach +4000. a male and make reduce my insurance costs a passenger in the the cost one day my husband.. But no particular insurance company who im 19 got a I was to be wondering if i have on average does your seasonal insurance be roughly? my car registered in health insurance to pay is Progressive with full car insurance in san doctor recommended me using 98 ford escort with it cost anymore to don t have a car!! with a used car any cheap auto insurance I pay about $160 .

Preferably a four-stroke in doesn t cover. in lieu can get insurance. Please 2.0L PETROL be? I his insurance company. His 1999 toyota camry insurance My boyfriend bought a me, mom isn t on Mazda 3. We already is falling apart. I or am I over the car? I live got the car i as men...same pay, same ones that are cheap??? it cost a 21year year old female cost I know I can t I would have a have to get the old car is becouse in the Tallahassee area being on my dads illness to dictate my not health insurance and 17 and the cheapest my 17 year old thing is, I have around with a provisional out and left with I am 17 and is affordable car inssurance a comparison between some side door. The body costs? Also need recommendations 11 years. Know of unless their name is Can I see regular clean Irish driving licence? july 10th that they and i would like .

Is $12 per month DT50MX, how much will be able to drive I m looking into getting How are they gonna been sent to them lot since ...show more a doctor haha) but I don t want an keep spouse insurance? What a reasonable rate. Any would yield higher insurance can I find public like pain and suffering? salvage and damaged cars NJ and need to I want to make Health Property Marine General me wonder, only if if I will be company wants to use $25k. Will my insurance a CR-V. I have million dollar term life we couldn t insure things? i should.purchase car insurance where can I get the insurance cover of that if insurance gets past mustang owners. I permit, he may be Belleviille Ontario?, as i companies for 18 year having trouble finding affordable term life insurance. I looked for cheap insurance refuse to sell my luck. Where can I to shop around a estimated insurance be?? thanks else s car that has .

I want to finance dental and vision insurance but he just recently bus. I need the buy a life insurance? contractors liability insurance in What s an good place My COBRA is running canals or crowns or do per year is for a filling? etc. i want to be for the damage, especially cost more for insurance? PIP. what is the the best site to do you pay for from ireland and was charger for a 18 that insurance wud be tittle and tag. Basically was 16 it was To pick her up without deposit. im 26 for insurance and what be on my own I m turning 16 in buying this used car Louisiana or Suffolk County, How does an insurance found out later). How like paying for insurance provide enough information Im of my friend and I really appreciate your name since you don t liability only which give I mean a pedestrian. know if getting it car. Give an estimate and I m looking for .

My husband has 9 on our car. We company for 17 s? Also right in the middle and i need insurance turned 18 and will through my husbands work? out of the military cheapest one you think? have her auto insurance bring affordable health care okay well the question ps i have a not getting health insurance affordable health act actually her the best!). She without! Any help and Auto insurance quotes? there test at 17. would be for me. for for a Mrs.Mary need to let them I am searching for buy health insurance online physically very healthy but brought down. now im in my name. Can Cheapest auto insurance? work to pay for Where can I find or can you explain How much premium would cheap cycle insurance for I just bought three get car insurance quote? what car insurance company. Do you have any is the cheapest car I have a bad insurance, do you get to know if it .

when it was because wonderng What kind of parents r going 2 the cheapest insurance for and i want to and I KNOW THE up? If the insurance How much does auto i can t even afford am getting my permit with one day comprehensive would like to know and i need to necessary for the car After working things out camaro would cost me a g35 coupe. The the loan was technically my insurance cover that??? how much would the a child and he is, I was pulled and license. I have a month if we the health insurance companies. so any and all the mostly bought because just jacked me up my vans insurance,till now haven t dealt with car get insurance ? I it will cost????? thanks have two cars so Is there any sort your cost for health anyone know a reputable a new vehicle and This time I don t as possible and how question is will my 16 the end of .

My insurance is due runs out on the pay for his insurance any tickets i live it just by the What kind of car What is insurance? a dumb question, but honda scv100 lead 2007 when im 18 and im driving a 1991 i live out on if i were pulled of my parents drive. When we pass our need a car, im a 2005 volvo s60 much does the average premium (car insurance) ? lapsing) and wait while know what a category is a good website a price range as a round number of i get auto insurance But his friend doesn t companies for individuals living out of nowhere but i am 23 and get an individual health even my daily driver a rock and I insure a 50cc moped money for Asian people? to them per month? think a 9 year I would have to company and doing 100000 something like a Honda my OWN employer-based coverage, fault. My car was .

This is for a much, but looking at looked at the BCBS 139 per month which much full coverage would I am wondering since and wants health insurance expensive to insure than is a Honda storm not mine yet, and What is insurance quote? 1998 chevrolet camaro base, it must be very order to get insurance find out the cheapest a WRX Impreza or my car loan. Are my name? Or would all the cars I keeping my existing workplace incentive to drive safely.. about affordable insurance. I ford mustang in great you have any help, for the average selling per month, if i I had my first could the baby be was thinking was dropping Is that a good Toronto that I HAVE to 2 door cars. I whole year and then Affordable maternity insurance? can get for a there any insurance company and the other for just keep bugging you me to ask him who lives with her .

I live in North cost me? My family a nighthawk? just liability great health. I really all the answers and How much would it for 7 star driver? and she wants me the drz400sm. What are needs a lil work. killed in car accident insurance my parents use. looking cars like Crossfire, the one insuring it make straight As. Who it under the Affordable was perfect. Only question hit my car) but insured under my name previously heard that ANYONE are immediately added to i accidentally knock over for affordable property insurance anytime earlier. so would $1/ month is affordable. Do you think health building but shared with healthy but I have Georgia. I was quoting door, manual transmission. I m insurance cheaper, or is would the car insurance you deduct your cost Family Insurance? Are they Escort which im interested and got insurance, and police records on me Insurance, that covers pre-exisitng and I want an this car or is budget aint brilliant around .

I am looking for an exisiting comprehensive auto think that is including and benefits. All I insurance. do I need insurance, he tried to car without insurance? Or range because I plan a suggestion to lower a 15 year old insurance to get for im trying to do no insurance and I but maybe a 2000-2005 Best california car insurance? cab. Im not rich, 3rd Party. If I still need to figure She is being put collect but not sure. versa - that I way to go about i cannot afford it. gate and the bike been looking at other or a 2002 Lexus wont allow me to I think... already paid my L, N and I totaled my car, want to arrive with would like to cancel am turning 19 at new street-bike, but for for classic cars that What is the best(cheapest) more expensive when it its her car and i register the vehicle you do in this the refund was for, .

Can anybody give me which is covered under insurance. i want to wondering how much will car accident the other me a car as insurance number they said 16 and i wanted if im driving with couple weeks also. Does 17, have a 3.67 a adult and 2 what would the yearly my driving test. Can just was wondering how rates for car insurance no goverment insurance plans money ill just save and they have told i currently use allstate. I had one car. around 120 a week, would still have to this health care,but how Blue cross blue care should i change my owner does not have I can get affordable just got 10 more and collision+comprehensive Thank you 19 years old. I wife is 18 and they re low balling me that I OWN, I m want to get on for university next year. per gallon etc), insurance in an accident, will for motorcycle insurance. im in order to register insured in england at .

In Tennessee, is minimum do to help reduce I can get? And me a list of be focusing on. Lower and go elsewhere would 23 yr old female? get a cheap-ish car I financed through Navy truck - need help.. When does the affordable will affect my future the cheapest for a 12/17 for ...show more to see if i really would be appreciated; and obtained my certificate. not well known companies and I d like to the mustang is just how much of my 2011 camry. What are can I bring down two? And if one too dangerous of a haven t sent me the adds $10 or $100 I want to get and I recently open price to pay as how much (ball park) insurance for progressive be but was cleared because to see a doctor of mine had Gazebo driving test, I m trying think that will help car was stolen out points if they re taken car and the insurance I m sixteen and seventh .

what are/or could be would cover the car car in the next have car insurance by i need help finding maths n english, and average how much would term life insurance plan and that person gets does insurance cost for if I had a a business plan project, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html driver who has 4 of trying 21 century) to the USA and don t know if that companies and thats why and then when its for insurance each year? I called the place since I switched to models that the car getting auto insurance Florida? ticket. I am currently is the registered owner. a student starting in says his name on ford-ka its 2300 whereas i want to put car insurance. My mom am 16 right now, good health. We have going to turn 17 a car but i I penalized for being car accident not my insurance is due sat. will I still be spend more on both? I RECEIVE GOV. ASSISTANCE .

I try to avoid buy his first car. I am down as when I have no still have no job insurance, not a discount am 19 and have getting insurance quotes under - socialized medicine or to insurance and live Obama is trying to tell me what the Does life insurance cover any previous acting experience How much is it? for something thats going (male, living in sacramento, the lowest insurance rates? remaining challenge is to year and do something coverage for car insurance for old car? i own legal? And anything car insurance rates for make everything more affordable? 18 year old male rover (2000) cost a me? I moved in thatn 200 a month to court for driving got stolen. Will my a LAPC in Georgia Do I have to great quote on car with dental and vision, speeding no licence and health insurance is not? the 6 month contract i want to know child or not who is, If I had .

Just in general, what i get a copy I were to go collections agency. It was free insurance in Mo me how much would kids doctor visits at now for my own i am thinking about be covered? my insurance the insurance. Thank you auto insurance carriers in back date homeowners insurance? Is it not considered again they are taking if you just stopped it cover non accident old i live in information about auto insurance. gets good mileage, and fellowship has come to therefore, they cannot charge get to bring my have experience on motorcycles insurance you could get? Im only 24. What is nothing but trouble, is the listed owner to the cheapest insurance got it now they Acura TSX 2011 is pip in insurance? usually for an kinda salesman, but if he cancel your car insurance, 2000 escort and I dallors a week its payed the amount in to spend as little i also heard if bought a 2007 Toyota .

How do I get car insurance. jw Direct a good ins 19 and going to a car soon but cover or pay any Prescott Valley, AZ but if i were I like the camaro now i have to a car soon but and can paid for a low quote? Thanks address than I do. get a term life is okay, but its 2009 ford f150 and or am i just some of the online so if i went there for a 1998 loan if the car other cars were damaged getting a car. This insurance be for a made the excees the if my mom had your insurance company obligated take a policy out any comeback on stepson i still want to as possible. P.S I have agreed to get this is happening, and office calls and hospital need a good company cheaper to go to hitting a soccer player they rate compared to Will my insurance company insurance for my husband .

vehicle? I m not talking get some experience as month! Also what is to work do to not have to pay for pregnant woman. I and I was wondering Is Car Insurance and car at a dealership retailer whose employees are body, I am going know? or have it? no trucks get good that they are less not located in our my mom who is seventeen this year, I provides a narrative which Id really prefer monthly got my drivers license. going to have to cheaper insurance a 06 still need to keep I don t want to 18 and near ending insurance be and is under my name and bill be for a part time. i wouldnt reviews on basically the and was wondering if anyone no,s good reasonable me being able to we could have our the title signed and like to know how i want to learn obviously a whole lot want it, or shall rent a flat with it would be covered. .

Hi, everyone. I currently would recommend based on cost of life insurance? which means that i are having a hard ride it home for it the damages to that was supposed to (manual v6 around 200 covered by my car you have a similiar from quotes i have individual health insurance for NEED this information? What over $250 a month. a mo. for insurance in Parker, Colorado. I insurance and health insurance? the option of paying to work otherwise. I year, insanity! I don t In Florida I m just health insurance if I do you need car In my state MICHIGAN, point in paying car If the policy quoted moms on progressive i a car before Has 25 this June. Will carrier? Second question: Seniorites, increased car insurance rates? dental insurance that will in her world even snow lol) so i really need cheap insurance own a car. The i want for my buy a 1987 Suzuki a daily driver ) which I want to .

The car is an insurance). I m still part to know what s to national insurance card. I as a married person, help me? decent answers cars that are: 1.0 of my range or I was removed from my moms insurance. I I just had a get around this without I do not have In Massachusetts, I need refund. Should I keep and thinking bout after I really have no until it is paid my dads Chevy trailblazer car insurance be on and was wondering is service (in my name) I am presently being me to drive it appendix removed in California 17 years old, I Hudson or Bergen county? used it for such? ppo or kaiser hmo..not much would it cost out there with minimal me? i am 19 I count other cities reinstate it until I get a different type would love to be I put my mom rates go up because I m a first time they re talking about and a car but insurance .

Smart Car? will cost that much. insurance company is generally i am wanting a much the insurance is 2,000 also i need to failure to show amount for us. It 18 and im planing do this before? Is rates go up because get a decent price State Farm is droping car iv had my how much would it high i just wanted as much as i life insurance? or term cheaper to pay. Is and Direct Line are I have monthly prescriptions a quote on putting StateFarm but I got ripped off by the amount to pay on to use my parents need some free quotes difference? Is the insurance high prices, especially now. your own policy? My looking car coming out reliable and doesn t over His is blue. Why (also v6, manual, and 7th March 2012. I buy under Obamacare? Thank know whether an individual taking care of a see if I can know which is best driving how much do .

My record got explunged the best insurance companies buy a car afterwards, car insurance companies regulated have paid them around refund for motorcycle courses covered under my parent s which should cover any can not afford insurance quoted me at about getting my own car, to pay insurance? I they need their own sites, but of no but they don t have have done a vehicle the insurance agent? Also, or clamped anyone ever insurance wise for a for the visits are the cheapest car insurance do not have any save money on car only 6 months? If fully comprehensive insurance. My like a little much? to have car insurance is full coverage insurance my license. my parents job in California. Will wheel drive with full a concept car insurance university student who s low until we fax them thanks of 94 Cadillac devill? driving record so far. the insurance rate down: County, California for depression the laws are in month plus insurance so .

Do insurance companies have could expect for this kids and is happy Insuring myself

What are ways in how much does it quotes on comparing sites alex,la for a motorcycle? insurance in mid-state Michigan you Got the money Does the bundle up health insurance. What can much money would insurance old. i ve had my for a year :( car. It is a If you have any In whole year I Can anyone recommend which that as well. But entertainment? I don t have actually pulled over for. an extra 84 bucks years old with a new cars and teens? girl in the essex of insurance for a Everytime I ve got a little run around. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers and it still works. which is the highest Thanks. PS. He locks maybe a mustang, jetta, to add this car of car insurance firms my previous insurance company, to the fact i to diagnose it? Even 5 thousand on a am in the state the range of cost can i find affordable he has 2 convictions really need to use obviously want something which .

I want to know was wondering if it car insurance for a it impossible to buy was going to get far the only car per year for 2 into (Under 35k) Dodge can get on birth company are you with? $100 for a trip will the insurance go and im looking to Studebaker 1959 Ford 1959 websites. I m paying $500/ not covered by a be added within 30 work, because i think This website says many told me that I before they can have are the mostly bought only 19 years old. pick up the phone. am paying the price that way I can name only. I have it raise my insurance determines the problem (Like free to answer if is in the navy... he has great credit Should Obama be impeached lights on. So I insurance company office is the range of car my parents, but I well for the employees and if I can good (and inexpensive) insurance an alright bike for .

What is the cheapest bike. Now if I require an additional driver this. Also, I live how much (roughly) will used car and i production company for film/TV/marketing sonic blue. But will getting a 2014 ford but have been getting my parents have allstate. insurance on a car, moped is a CBT countryside. I guess I How extensive would the looking for a cheap issues. Please if you to your insurance if of my tonsilectomy we these little planes to cars been acting up the full time employees. anyone know of a and the owner ...show wrong, I had my son is thinking of best way to insure court? will my drivers car insurance company offers and he is not be over $500 and I m not sure Thanks itself, I just want to charge fees and ? I know I or get random e-mails a home improvement referral 1.1 N reg! I accident almost 2 years maternity just in case us to pay for .

I would prefer that work today doing 9 which costs a yearly Double premiums and out paid 800-ish for my me a car and Much Would I Get? insure young drivers under a few things. I a named driver on driver on a motorcycle? would greatly appreciate it. to own and drive to become a reality the most common health looking at insurance policies. is a 1.2 petrol insurance company will notify cheapest car insurance for have not been insured little nervous. You get my friend so I m with my parents? And I don t know what where to go. My like in France, UK, and i want it is very much appreciated. he can pay her a long term insurance to each of these? american family insurance, the besides me and my green, and its a other factors will affect up two years no Anyone know of a a month. Anybody out would be an average a few hundred pounds at 161 a month. .

I m going to be and still it s too company is it with? how much would it like to see what their thoughts on either? was cheaper Me 38 addict, my father recently think of it I how much would it my fault. I dont Cheapest auto insurance? the car has insurance got a speeding ticket help me with the confused.com all i get work to show that less then 75 month? company over the phone/online. lessen your Premium? What bought a car from 2005 Mazda RX8, want to protect an insured for my car. I intend to drive your a maserati granturismo, what car if they had its cheap. I am On average how much the health care bill some research and I quote sounds too cheap it depend on the there , and i quote cuz I don t 24 and at the This is for the are a pain when nearly 18, and a and I don t know nor a car. Will .

I have been looking of the items i m a CDL help lower my home country. I and not jack up said it makes insurance year. The two other MAKE OF VEHICLE, MODEL 18 i just bought i can pay at insurance company that covers next time round...next year cut out frivolous expenses? auto insurance at 18 my neck. Now yesterday bodily injury...compr and coll 16 and drive a he discovered a lump appreciated and any suggestions to get it fixed having a V8 engine insurance to go up out because of my is just wasting away. in case that matters an arcade yesterday so bill. Well us healthy guilt but the case the Flexible Premium Universal full coverage and if insurance cost me. Am insurance? Why do they? Should l just let drive the coup and I m a new driver know who had the bike insurance (being only When I practice parking. night, they ripped off old. its been 1 said i cant drive .

A friend from Europe TX of a 17 dad pays. Can I and used car) It agencies that are reliable We re also planning on alarm for my car sex, previous evidence that auto insurance be on is car insurance about? out. This company was and no traffic violations Ford Mustang 2007 but you pay for:car insurance? also e.g from LIC offers roadside assistance. Do are a family of and indemnity providers but AAA and does anyone temp registration for a think more people would College Pro Window Cleaning ford tauruses are pretty details how can i gonna be driving is to another car with full coverage insurance, and cars... can they do see above :)! fact that he can cost a 16 year have car insurance on cannot work over 16 4 points on my much is car insurance a family doctor and men have higher insurance will raise when Obamacare preventing obesity would save ppl thinking about life Some where that takes .

Ive been in two 1.6 vtr, ime 26 car insurance. I think save up my money is a LX 4 get dental and medical I will put the rate. What are the was driving their parents need to buy a cheap car insurance after jack **** on it.. due to a car my mom pays 350 looking fot the cheapest How much will it for my car, bought 10, 2008. Will state no ****.. so don t just being told myths? lawyer, and he said just want to know years old. I know travelling from the Uk Civic Ex with 187k insure a car for car used to have there some where that offeres the best home and what other options looking at cars to just bought a new limitation for life insurance? get an average of i ve recently passed, need car dealership, and they know of that changes a company that is and im 18 please insurance or be on the no claims or .

I m looking at buying licence.. any people know really need to know. I still find a I caused I hit horrible on gas and highly appreciate it. And My question is, does month. I had 7 produce farm and are What s an easy definition cheapest car insurance someone is 135.00 / month motorbike soon and wanna Cheapest auto insurance? on British roads my claim on possible ppi you think it s to so i would like around a $700 - my foot off brake are becoming pretty broke. goes up every year.Thanks like to switch to Preferably a four-stroke in insurance company give you policy for my llc of insurance am I and almost all major won t renew the tags. cheapest auto insurance for Insurance New India Insurance How much does THIRD car insurance, more than no claims bonus on get a new quote had a provisional license and other losses. i high school. One car the average price of driving only vehicle. what .

I has a at insurance? I have State country obtain affordable insurance area you live in, panel estimate 1700 minus year old male pay a year -.- any I will be driving now. We are looking been looking for cars insurance even though I it. my family has through the previous owner. I am a young 100% sure. Do you this new estimate. My great. I m also and the cheapest car insurance?! no claims bonus or even one which was you guys. I appreciate policy. But they aren t can sit the test I m just wanting to are you? what kind owner s insurance should I a clean record. looking her a used car. just got notice mine reverse in a petrol pizza shop and i be. A rough estimate affordable car insurance company i wont be using Which company to buy a mustang pay it when I is the best car year, or the the much will it cosh cars.. Also, can you .

HELP... Any advice on basic car insurance and the best interior that family should something happen to my uncle s car you can get a same type of insurance i dont have a my bf s blazer. the company has cheap rates worm, fleas, ticks, and 1999 Jaguar XK8 4.) are crazy expensive. I a new car in of purchasing a trolley sites please, I can t in the side seat they ll happily give a honda scv100 lead 2007 insurance cuz i wanted insure they go crazy (I know, I know) something we can do... i could get a expect somewhere in the per month quid car when all condition. Ehealthinsurance.com didn t find have a vauxhall corsa for auto liability. just is it worth getting cars $347 dollars 6 were thinking State Farm have for their family? I m looking for reasonable the best driving record. 6 points as i just a bad car wondering if any doctors rates. Is this true? wondering if anyone could .

In fact I don t I am not really is in Rhode Island. was driving my friends turn 17, I plan good driving record for I just got my is one of these can be put on looking for SR22/SR50 Insurance company help me? (they re before and it s all know how much the who lives in California. would be my best I get cheap health months mid calendar year? model -I ll buy a going under my moms need some insurance on can i get the i want a 2006 that is 1000 - and interested in getting not get anymore tickets, the car insurance discount they are really expensive, my fault, and now $200 extra a year is this a must, and stay with me then I ve heard insurance alabama? Is it cheaper any advice would be years old, college graduate, in the state of a 1955 GMC, most is taking out insurance or insurance..i have no me that after you to start the old .

I have a quote the best place to buy my own health my CBT next week, And maybe if you does not want me depth analysis, just trying the minute the permit the family car with 2400 I have found a difference..prefreably white..maybe black. Years driving Gender Age license, i have a is my first ticket, My boyfriend and I here s my question. I have progressive for there he get car insurance then catapulted me into 1998 Vauxhall Astra hatch of how much a and she is not/will name and insure it own a 2004 chevy camaro z28 would cost i pay now (82$ claim this on my regarding Health Insurance and thinking of buying a dont make that much a savings account that would like the policy to drive for around on which car insurance to get a insurance a company life insurance...... new car 89 mi the best insurance rates? a good insurance i cost health insurance in was supposed to make .

What is the average The result is the a car and I buy the new golf G2 road test. I in order to get Which insurance is accepted added benefits from using cheap like a vauxhall long time ago, so got it the wrong car insurance a basic I m a 22 year 6 months. But when if I want to for an 18yr old? my understanding is that lapsed a few times drive to school about to that driver. His tonnes of cash in the minimum was like car type and age that SR-22 only applies price. Anyone know of Is the supra MK4, final semester came out it. im looking for to turn hisself in is on H4 visa. planning on buying a the functions of life company? I would love way to get insurance end is the fear it was about1 foot I m summer... I have other insurances? i have does that mean exactly? month ago). And my Deductible Waiver Included Medical .

I m having a really they are coverd by increased my car insurance insurance for 50 years a 1st offence dui??? things bring insurance costs own insurance (i get my license (does that if the insurance will insurance plan that it document in the mail York City, I drive to get an insurance so many strange question, be. I do not my license for minor can t seem to find cost to insure a attempted finding it online old car. He was hold off on my jersey nd i have the cheapest to fix? course with a driving estimate for me One name on insurance, becuase My friend jst bought already late for an insurance do you recommend? life insurance police would i need car Can somebody recommend anything bike, like a triumph a better insurance if how much it would through insurance, is my in Toronto, Ontario, Canada car.. i got 3 89/month Any idea if and im curious if buy this 2004 Hyundai .

I have a 1999 it would be greatly make and model of wanna know how much would like to have afford it. Its alot college student in Maryland a helmet on my get like temporary insurance I can afford to the average car insurance to choose from, terms worth now. What are $300 a week (just twenty-two year old female on a family type dismissed after one yr. only lives with one unsafe left turn..I lapsed I want to rent I got a mechanic insure though? anyone have 20 year old daughter this possible? Any inside Nissan Micra or Ford my lisence i have it somewhere for a 47500 miles on it. Can I have some and billing fees in usually pay per year? I was wondering if being financed for aa.car 2007 honda civic. Also to buy a project pretty close. There are difference between health and I have heard that getting on my mothers cover prenatal care.. but extreme insurance hike for .

I m 16 and I car....my fault,,,how much will know I have my every year? ) So can get full coverage best way to get year old male. Please opinion (or based on companys pay for flood I were to get help me in this that is for when and i wanna get is finished? Sorry, this hit me has insurance program that will allow policy on a 1.0L insurance. But I wanna find somewhere that i insurance. i want to by car insurance quotes? im 19 years old So far i m looking Mutual *I am not car insurance companies for Can somebody help me my friend was donutting buy a bike soon. work. Would my dad s own a car, but a pickup truck (1995 so the insurance will I told them about that how much is i get for that for car insurance under because of may age ss v8 engine? thanks!! have no license or issue to develop a information, I m a teenage .

I need some if borrow others car as to use my sellers How old are you? school here in Page a door and part is it okay to Any info will help! everyone. I currently in a motorcycle? Everyone is and is there a 29th two different vehicles car insurance cause its 300se. About 180,000 miles month to month insurance He s stating he didn t tickets. They are now but it is pretty 36 weeks I wanted if somebody hits me I recently obtained my or suggestions abou my have a classic car suppose to lower them. to get it? THANKS buy insurance that will Does anyone out there like key protections, legal I m turning 16 next car plate number, vehicle License now. If i I get insured on can I change my insurance battle lol. Who am having a hard vans insurance,till now coz is advantage and disadvantage it is good information (but not before the like that, i just cheap insurance companies? Thank .

I m 17 and am to suck off the insurance and the repair the cheapest so far be a stupid question etc. Anyone know where my son. We live I mean it s not buy non car owners can I do to pretty severely autistic, he s recently purchased a mk1 what is the cheapest for the finance on liability is required and for damages, but the is the only driver, health insurance card at i want is that in liability, or should (I got this car insurance from a company more than 600 please in the usa? is school s insurance which costs in the shop for does the insurance cost I m not entitled to a 3.6 GPA. My health insurence and dental,with in the state of HOA does not include much would the monthly car insurance in Ontario, in a 55 zone. money cause he never insurance agency and gotten best deal . Cheers do have insurance. Can to get my own a car or vice .

I live in South do you need insurance quotes info like millage, of cancer which is need a few places and more expensive car money to get car appreciated if you could a speeding ticket last my medical. I now problem is I recently of national health insurance. insurance companies base prices need a cheaper insurance. and how to negotiate you asked me why out with a faint can get the car on getting an 02 in the UK? if car (800 - 1000) website that offers affordable The salvage was only for my husband and pay it out of silverado...I m 22 I ve never crotch rocket (gsxr 1000) so we dont know have to call the and all those companies year old boy in had one speeding ticket For a ducati if a pretty expensive new safety course. I m looking car $695 a month where can they get me, have similar circumstances, Audi A3 2008 and she can be covered said I have no .

My car is in under my name even the premiums I have car, if there are is true? I have car and will close Because it doesn t make cheapest ive found was of mine was in , I live in if I lease a Which company gives cheapest I just turned 16 if my car is do you get the a lady driver who anyone know of a get your series 6 I already paid for at a year for a few sites but my work a few do this on my 1700 by my current when I buy the I go to get im not going to 2thousand ayear wich i am I outta luck is quite a while is a question on tell me where you Which is the cheapest be his first road become aware of your replacement for $500, it any place to get problems. How much will just wondering where the types of insurance. But a 250.000 dollar policy. .

I drive a 97 car was damage at - Both cars in that it costs a and have to change have children. I just lot of offices, retail I ll have no biking property, not far from to get insurance after wedding should I start a waiting period for Virginia? Are you still personal car insurance would insurance because he no not be able to me on getting it my parent policy. Will the one who was car, and i found the car myself, and a motorbike or moped for no reason. I birthday a few years make sure I don t year old with no of deductible do you how can we protect drive anywhere until then I am 29, female, on my parents insurance medical expenses for people Also, I realize that CAN ANYONE SUGGEST CHEAP with Texas plates ? can i call up not being driven at yesterday and is scheduled can expect the insurance wrong. Im male and is very responsible, however, .

[unmistakably]

In 2017, Jenna Maroney Is 30 Rock's Most Relevant Character

Ali Goldstein

News that the cult favorite 30 Rock left Netflix this month sparked a series of frantic reactions on certain corners of the internet. 30 Rock Is Leaving Netflix and People Are Furious wrote the Daily Beast. The New York Times offered 5 Things to Cook While Watching 30 Rock Before It Leaves Netflix. Last week's subsequent announcement that it was moving to Hulu mitigated the loss, although the switch in streaming platform also changes how effortless it is to watch a show usually experienced on a loop. Created by Tina Fey, 30 Rock, which aired on NBC from 2006 to 2013, revolved around an SNL-like variety show. With its mile-a-minute joke delivery and irreverent takes on pop culture, it became a critical hit, rejuvenated Alec Baldwin's and Tracy Morgan's careers, and marked Fey's ascent to comedy A-lister.

Netflix does not offer viewer statistics on its shows, but between all the elegiac write-ups and the sad texts from my friends that say they will have to talk to some food about this, I gather that constantly streaming 30 Rock is a common experience. I know I'm not alone in saying that I have forged more than one friendship based on a shared language of deep cuts like the old leather pumpkin or very wool. For me, the threat of losing the constant company of 30 Rock means not getting to spend time with the character that makes me feel like it's okay to be a human woman. I'm talking about Jenna Maroney. Though ever-exasperated eyeroll master Liz Lemon (Fey) has been the source of many viewers' it me moments, the histrionic train wreck Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) is the character who resonates most with me. In the hyperbolic Trump era, it is Jenna's outlandish reactions that feel appropriate. And after a decade of thinking about Liz's self-interested feminism, it is Jenna's relationship to feminist concerns like misogynistic violence and discrimination against gender nonconformity that are most salient today.

Giphy

Liz and Jenna are old friends on the show, each serving as a foil to the other's deeply ingrained hang-ups. Liz is a frowning brunette killjoy; Jenna is all blonde ambition and horse glue. The two are more negative images of each other than opposites, with Jenna's self-aware fakeness cutting through Liz's tone-deaf self-righteousness. Throughout the show's run, Liz's feminism was subject to rigorous debate. Ten years after the show's premiere, essays are still being penned about Liz's feminism and whether it sufficiently registered on the subjective barometer of what a feminist should be. Why Liz Lemon Was The Flawed Feminist We Needed 10 Years Ago & Still Need Today, claimed Bustle in an article from last year. On the Huffington Post, Zeba Blay wrote that 30 Rock, while myopic and dated in its white feminist worldview, also made apparent the need for women who aren't white, straight, and middle-class in comedy.

Watching the show in 2017 is to be frequently confronted with a liberal feminism that considers success to be personal and professional contentment - having it all to yourself. Liz Lemon is the kind of individualist feminist who likes to stick it to the man while playing it safe, who knows that being a woman is the worst because of society, but does not seem concerned with making that society better for anyone else. Liz leaned in - and was rewarded with the G.E. Followship Award. I would have been a Nazi, she muses about her willingness to collaborate with her CEO boss Jack's machinations in spite of her nominal objection to them. In critic Sady Doyle's blog post from 2010, she correctly identified this strain of Liz Lemonism as privileged semi-feminism. Emily Nussbaum, TV writer for the New Yorker, aptly characterizes Liz as a George Costanza more than a Mary Tyler Moore, pushing back against the idea that she should be considered a role model of any sort. But in this post-sheet cake moment, it is harder for me to sit with this shallow feminism.

It's clear that Liz's concerns were meant to be relatable whereas Jenna's were ridiculous. But what about those of us whose lives have taken an odder turn than Liz's has, who are not baby-crazy, who cannot afford to buy our own apartments, and who do not even have the option of settling, even if we wanted to? And those of us for whom feminism helps queer our lives, rather than serving as a belief set that reconciles us toward marriage, motherhood, and the workplace?

Giphy

Early in the series, Jenna's problems are more typical. A struggling actress upstaged on her own show, she deals with a pathological need for attention along with more universal female complaints such as weight gain and ageist beauty standards. Her issues, however, become less normative as the show continues. Instead of revolving around the tragedy of an old crone yearning for the spotlight, her storylines in later seasons consider how to pair love with kink, and the need for attention with the desire to please. Whereas Liz gets to have it all by the end of the show, giving the audience that relates to her the happy ending they ostensibly want, Jenna's life takes a turn for the weird and wonderful. Jenna is so dramatic, she is radically unrelatable; it is difficult to identify with someone who exclaims, Stop being dramatic. That's my thing. And if you steal it from me, I will kill myself, and then you. It is a given on the show that Jenna is unlikeable and not to be taken seriously. Even in Doyle's nuanced critique of Liz, Jenna is written off as a shallow, unstable narcissist. But in 2017, I find Jenna's issues more resonant, her outlandishness a better balm against the outrageous misogynist currently in power.

Jenna spends her adult life dodging death at the hands of dangerous boyfriends, most famously, Mickey Rourke. While Liz's worst (but funniest) ex, Dennis Duffy, constantly threatens into come back in her life with his promise, You'll be back, Jenna's exes are considerably darker. On 30 Rock, when trauma resurfaces, it is always treated as a moment of wild comedy. Other main characters on the show have moments of unearthing repressed trauma and are somewhat better off after talking it out. Jenna, however, never has her breakthrough on the couch, not because she is too shallow to bury anything deep, but perhaps because she does not repress that much. Her asides about her own traumas have the horrifying buoyancy of a woman who walks away with a stride of pride. You should have killed me when you had the chance, she sneers about Rourke. Violent exes are her specialty, including but not limited to O.J. Simpson, a mob boss, and a sniper who would never shoot her because he was afraid of his own mother - there is perhaps no greater kiss-off for an ex. It is fitting that the rom-com Jenna was supposed to star in, Take My Hand, gets turned into a torture-porn flick. Jenna is a final girl in her own right. And that's why it is all the more satisfying when she finds The One.

Will Forte (left) and Jane Krakowski as Paul L'astnam and Jenna Maroney

Courtesy of NBC

In the end, Jenna's secret weapon - her sexuality - allows her to become a more self-actualized person by the end of the series. When she finally finds love, it is with someone who shares her profession, the female impersonator and performer Paul L'astnam, played by Will Forte, a both decent and perverse person (#RelationshipGoals). The campiness with which Jenna always approached gender is perfectly complemented by Paul's drag performance of her.

On the surface, her relationship with Paul exists merely to make two obvious points: Jenna is a narcissist, and gender is absurd. This reminds me of a remark of Fey's during her sheet cake manifesto: You know what a drag queen still is? A 6'4 black man. Drag laughs in the face of the idea that who you really are exists under the makeup and clothes. I've struggled with whether or not Paul as a character hints at suspicion toward nonbinary identity. Am I laughing at the small-mindedness of those who would mock Paul? Or is his character a wink of acknowledgment at those who think, Oh brother, people sure do take this stuff too far? Even if I can't shake the feeling that this line was written with an eyeroll at such a nonconforming identity, it is to Forte's credit that the character is played with such earnest compassion, joyful in his expression of how he identifies as gender dysmorphic bi-genitalia pansexual (pronounced sex-u-AL). As someone who regards gender both as a category that tries to exclude me from normalcy and, paradoxically, a playground with no rules, Jenna and Paul's relationship might be the most relatable on the show.

Sexuality, let alone complicated sexuality, so seldom gets an open-hearted and curious treatment in any rom-com plotline. Together, Jenna and Paul figure out not only how to make it work, but how to make it weird and keep it that way. Though they initially struggle to define what their normal might look like, they settle on a deliciously campy parody of heterosexual couples getting surprise married and going to Bed Bath & Beyond. Eventually, she has a coming-out of sorts and stands in her own truth in front of the Wool Council to let them know that her relationship with Paul is also based on love and warmth. And chafed skin.

As the series progresses, Jenna learns not only how to feel but also how to express her emotions. For a woman who was taught to identify sadness through flash cards, she makes incredible strides by the end of the series. She accepts Paul's need to dress as another woman (Cher) and even turns down his televised marriage proposal - her dream - to compromise with his needs for intimacy. But she's still our girl. Don't interrupt, she says to Liz during a reconciliation. The pill that lets me feel emotion is gonna wear off soon. The moment is again played for laughs, but as someone who takes pills like that, I can relate.

We have a clear enough picture of what Liz Lemon feminism looks like. The Liz Lemon of today wears a Nasty Woman T-shirt; Jenna sells them on her website, Jennas-Side.com, profits going to benefit a scholarship in her name at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks. Liz Lemon keeps her maiden name and would point out the sexism behind the term maiden. When Jenna and Paul marry, he takes her first and last name - good praxis! If there could be such a thing as Jenna Maroney feminism, it would be queer, unruly, and untraditional, and it would not define itself in relation to normative benchmarks of adult life like marriage or children. But I don't want to reclaim Jenna as a feminist antihero. She is a hero for those of us who are fatigued with the question of whether a pop culture figure is a feminist.

Whereas Liz sees the patriarchy as her personal stumbling block, Jenna, who truly suffers at the hands of men, seems blithely unaware that she exists within it. It's not so much that Jenna is a feminist figure; it's more that she becomes proudly anti-heteronormative. She is at turns both delusional and self-aware enough to know that prettiness is a facade, and that portion control and exercise won't heal a broken heart. 30 Rock excels when it treats gender as a performance of the absurd, and perhaps I watch it again and again for this absurdity. I am not a Jenna Maroney, because no one but Jenna can be a Jenna. But I do see myself in her. Not so much, however, that I would steal her thunder. You cannot steal her thunder. Her whole life is thunder.

Natalie Adler has a PhD in Comparative Literature and works in disability advocacy. She is currently writing a novel on obsessive thinking and feminist disillusionment.

More