#so no editing i do now would b worth anything

[moonshine-nightlight]

NWWD Chapter Update

so i finally arrived at my destination after driving and flying and then driving again. between the travel and the time change, new chapter will go up in the morning (i'd really planned on posting it before leaving this morning but that... didn't happen - its really been a Monday)

sorry for the delay!

[crystaldivination]

“𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?”

Thιs ιs ᥲ ᥣᥱttᥱr/tᥱxt from ყoᥙr most dᥱsιrᥱd ρᥱrsoᥒ

Hᥱყ bᥲbᥱs! It’s bᥱᥱᥒ ᥲ ᥕhιᥣᥱ, ᥲ qᥙιtᥱ ᥣoᥒg ᥕhιᥣᥱ bᥙt ᥒoᥕ I’m hᥱrᥱ ᥕιth ᥲ ᥒᥱᥕ ριᥴk-ᥲ-ᥴᥲrd rᥱᥲdιᥒg. Todᥲყ I brιᥒg ყoᥙ ᥲᥒothᥱr romᥲᥒᥴᥱ toριᥴ. I oρtᥱd for somᥱthιᥒg I kᥒoᥕ ყoᥙ’d ᥣιkᥱ ᥲᥒd somᥱthιᥒg thᥲt’d rᥲdιᥲtᥱ ᥣovιᥒg ᥱᥒᥱrgყ to ᥱvᥱrყoᥒᥱ ᥕho fιᥒds thιs. I hoρᥱ ყoᥙ ᥲᥣᥣ fιᥒd ιt ᥱᥒjoყᥲbᥣᥱ! Lᥱt mᥱ kᥒoᥕ hoᥕ ιt rᥱsoᥒᥲtᥱs.

⣷ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ⣷ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒 ⣷ 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓 & 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

How to choose your pile? As always meditate or close your eyes before looking at each picture. Trust your intuition and pick out a picture you feel the most drawn to.

The piles

both rows from left -> right

© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.

1 🖤

—mყ oᥒᥱ

You! Yes, you. What are you doing? Letting your life passing by you like that… don’t make a habit of attempting to give up without even trying. Don’t you dare waste your precious time. It’s time to wake up my little honey bear. I don’t wanna see you like that. You got your passion to go after, a so amazing future ahead of you waiting for you to embrace.

Don’t you think you’re worth it? Worth your effort trying to make what you truly want happen even if you don’t know the outcome now? Because I think you are. I’m right here even if you can’t see me. You would know how frustrated I can be when you’re being so stubborn and fearful. That’s so not you, you know that *chuckle*. Where did the little fiery spirit go, hm? I get that, things are not that easy… everything used to be easier, dot dot dot but don’t you see that you’re just making it harder than it looks? What do you have to lose if you just make the first step, huh? Try it, right now! No one is standing in your way but yourself. I can speak from experience.

A not so good result? Chin up. Try it again! And again until you got the hang of it. It’s better than just living in dissatisfaction and getting by right? Master your bravery until you master your craft. Now take my hand and trust in the process. Believe in yourself and what you can. I’m always watching you from above. Don’t make me feel sad about not being able to guide you. I want you to enjoy yourself and your life. You got this! There’s nothing to worry about. Open your heart and your mind then you’ll see the magic happening right in front of you. Make a difference first and all will follow. I’m always beside you, loving and supporting you. We will find each other again. I’m the light at the end of the tunnel, always guiding you home. You’ve never lost me. You belong with me. If you miss me, look deep in your heart and you’ll see me there. Have hope my love.

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2 🖤

—sᥱᥲsoᥒ ᥴhᥲᥒgᥱ

It’s hard for me to say something or anything at all. I don’t know… I’m in pain right now. The darkest feelings from memories that I’ve always wanted to escape from are catching up to me. I can’t take this excruciating pain and agony anymore. People are cruel. Sometimes I ask myself if love really is out there, if it’s kind enough to wait for me to give me its sincere and beautiful magic like how they called it at all or if there’s nothing like that because if there is, would it betray me like this? What does it all mean? Is everything just love? What is love? Is it just a journey one must go to find themself again? It’s hard, it’s painful. I feel like losing myself. Why does one have to go through pain?

I can’t get these bitter feelings off of me. My world is falling apart with nothing to hold on to. You’re the one i want to avoid the most but at the end of the day I somehow always find myself holding on to you again. You’re the only one I can remember, the only one I can hold onto even if I don’t want it. The only thing I can do is to deny it so I won’t believe it but I know that’s not the truth. You’re keeping me from collapsing completely. I know it’s selfish if I say I want you to ease my pain, to take my pain away but right now you’re the only safe haven I have.

I want to be a sweet and friendly person for you but there’s all this anxiety. The horror and the fear from the past are holding me back. I’m scared. I’m scared to scare you. I’m triggered when I see your face. You need to stay out of my way. I don’t want to hurt you. I fear to make this mistake again. To trust and then being let down again. Loving you feel like a dream but I’m too unstable. What if I can’t ever get out of that dream although it’d be a beautiful thought but I’m scared to mess up. I used to have everything but you and now I have nothing but you to hold onto. Isn’t that sad or just a cliché? I do want to give you a love so pure and I want love you unconditionally but maybe love is not in it for me, maybe i just need to focus on myself. I’m just unlucky I guess, for a lack of a better word.

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3 🖤

—mooᥒᥣιght

I’ve been looking for you for way too long. We belong together, you and I. We're soulmates, I just know it. I know you’re right there. You’re just waiting for me like I am for you. It’s reassuring to know we both sit under the same sky looking at the same moon right? I can’t wait to meet you. I think we’re alike. You’re exactly what I’m looking for. Let me be the perfect missing puzzle to your picture and you can be the light that is shining on me. You’re my beautiful dream fever. You drive me wild and crazy.

Under the moonlight let me adore you. I can imagine your eyes sparkling when admiring the stars while I’m the one who’s admiring your beauty. Looking into your eyes must be magical. I don’t have to see through rose-colored glasses to recognize how you are the rosé world embellished with flower petals yourself that I seek. You’re a fascination to me. I can’t figure you out yet but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to know you more. I don’t actually know you but I feel like I do regardless. I don’t need to know the truth. My heart knows you’re perfect either way.

Your skin, the softness that you carry in you. I want to inhale your scent like it's some kind of drug I can’t get used to with its intensity but won’t be able to stop. You speak and understand me with all your body and soul, I know you do, thus this is why day by day I dive into you with my soul. Although my mortal eyes show and tell me something else it doesn’t matter. As long as I have you in my heart I know you’re already here with me and always. They say you’re a rare diamond that I, as an ordinary human, have no chance to earn but let me, a humble one, find you and treat you the way you’ve always deserved because you’re worthy of all good. You can decide once you see and know me if I’m worthy of your attention and love. I want to claim you as mine but not out of fear, instead I want you to claim me as yours as well.

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4 🖤

—thᥱ soᥙᥒd of ყoᥙ

Why are you so ridiculously beautiful? You’re so stunningly beautiful. You can do whatever you want to me, and I’ll let you. I care for you so much. You’re the softest sound from the most perfect lullaby I’ve ever known of but can’t seem to believe actually exists. I dream of you. I want to see you smile and make you happy.

Come here. I’m right here, sweetheart. I need you to stop beating yourself up. You won’t hurt yourself. You won’t give up. You can overcome anything because you’re strong. You can do it for yourself and me. Be happy and live your life to the fullest. You deserve it my little darling. You don’t know how special you are so don’t you dare lose your light because of anything or anyone trying to dim that light. Stay positive and be brave. I know you can.

Most of the times I don’t even know why my heart is longing for you. It’s like there’s an invisible draw that is pulling me towards you. A call for my other half. An important half that I feel is missing in me. Is there a chance that I’ve known you before because I feel like knowing you without knowing you before. You open up memories in me that I’ve never seen before but they are telling me they exist deep in my mind and were forgotten for a very long time. Do you believe in destiny? I don’t but I might get convinced.

With me you don’t have to be tough all the time or pretend to be. I can love you for who you are with all your strengths and weaknesses. If you’re really the right one for me and that can only my heart tells, I’ll love you with all that my heart can offer. And I promise you, I will stick around as long as I can. I won’t let you down.

Now wait for you? I can do that. Even if the world ends tomorrow my will would stay strong. I want to be able to see and touch you. I’m confused but this is somehow a good feeling. What do you say? I think I’m not ready for our union yet but I might get surprised by the universe by what it is conspiring for us, I guess?

♡ PS. to my followers who participated in my latest game — due to personal matters i won’t be able to answer your asks any time soon but I’ll try to queue them whenever I can. I apologize for the delay.

— you’ve reached the end of this post, thanks for reading!

signed, crystal.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi, look I don't know how much control you have over the prices of your books once they are out into the wild. But a book I was going to buy last year was 69 pounds and this year it is 98. My wage has gone up...50p an hour. I now wish I had just bought it then and kept in my cupboard and paid the postage fees to send it to my friend. I'm not expecting you to respond to this or have an answer. But I want you to be aware that you had a sale in the bag and now I don't know if I can afford it. And now, only amazon is anywhere I can even find your Sandman Edition III to complete my friend's trilogy. I encourage authors to push back if they can. <3

Hullo, I'm afraid that a) authors don't really have control over prices and b) the reason why that book has gone up so much is because of the exchange rate between the US and the UK. Last year the pound was worth a dollar and 42 cents, by last month it was down to a dollar and 8 cents. That means anything you buy that comes from the US is going to cost you more. Nobody at the publishing end of things has increased the cost of your book; a Sandman Omnibus, for example, is $150 for over a thousand pages of material, and on Amazon at 45% off it's $87 as I type this. The prices on the collected Sandman editions are whatever they always were. The collapsing British economy is what put the prices up, not the publisher and definitely not the author.

My best advice would be to check with comics shops and see if any have copies on their shelves at the prices they were at last year.

My other bit of advice at this point would be to do what you can to get the tories out.

[iliektehhaxs]

NSFW Alphabet - Clive Rosfield Edition

Pairing: Clive Rosfield/Reader

Rating: Explicit, 18+, minors DNI

Author’s Note: Might've gone overboard, this ended up being 2.7k words!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Clive makes it his personal mission to make you as comfortable as possible both during and after sex. His arms become your own personal cocoon, kissing your forehead as he cradles you closer. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” Clive asks, checking over you once, twice, before you have to stop him with a hand to his chest. “I’m fine, really, you didn’t do anything that I wasn’t actively encouraging.” You lay a kiss to the hand resting on your cheek, enjoying the smile that blooms on his face. “Are you sure?” He studies your nude body concerned, lightly rubbing the indents where his hands gripped you. You nod. “I’m sure. Now come, lay with me.”

“As you wish.” He answers, moving to hold you close.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It might sound cheesy but he genuinely enjoys watching you smile, it brightens his day like nothing else. For him, it’s his arms, because you get so giddy when he lifts you for a hug, legs dangling in the air. The two of you are walking side by side through a meadow, a rare day of peace where Clive can simply enjoy being in the moment with you. You had insisted on a break, and now that he’s here he feels a sense of calm wash over him. Your stumbling form brings him out of his head, moving quickly to catch you before you fall. “Are you alright?” You both look down, a huff of annoyance escaping you. “Just tripped over some rocks, I’ll be fine.” A closer look and the road ahead is a bit uneven. He couldn’t risk you falling and hurting yourself, so his next course of action was obvious.

Within seconds you find yourself lifted bridal-style in his arms, holding onto his tunic in shock. “What—Clive?” Your legs dangle in the air, secured by strong arms beneath you. You look at him, waiting. His tone is genuine, but the pleased smirk he wears tells another tale. “I can’t have my lady walking in such dangerous conditions, what kind of man would I be?” You raise an eyebrow in knowing, aware that he just wanted an excuse to hold you. “You could’ve just asked me, you know.” He nods in agreement. “Yes, I could have. But this is more fun.”

You feel yourself laugh in his arms as he walks, an ever-present smile on his face.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves the sight of his cum dripping from you, but equally hates the smug look Tarja gives him when he asks for some medicine the day after. He’ll settle for finishing on your stomach to save himself the embarrassment but if you want to watch every thought exit his brain ask him to come inside you, he’ll never say no.

“My love,” he grunts, the scruff of his beard tickling your neck. He’s pushed himself as far as he can go, unwilling to separate for a second. “Tell me to stop, please—“

His movements are uncoordinated, single-minded in their attempt to bring you pleasure. You can barely hear him past the sound of your own moans, but your legs bring him closer either way. “Don’t, stay, please—“

Something snaps in his brain, his thrusts move even faster, a hand on your hip to keep you steady as his hips cant deliciously into yours. “Founder help me, you feel so good, fuck—!”

He cries your name as he stumbles off the edge, a violent shudder moving through his body. When he finally gathers himself he looks down at you through lidded eyes, a dopey grin stretched across your face.

“A smile like that means I must have done well.” He breathes, shallow and ragged. He watches his seed spill from you captivated, a single finger moving to spread you apart and watch more of him drip from you.

Tarja be damned, this was worth it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Wants to be submissive to you, wants to just lay back and take whatever you have to give, but the poor boy doesn’t know how to express it. It might have to take some detective work from you, but if you ever figure it out he’s putty in your hands.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He had no previous lovers besides you, but he isn’t totally oblivious, trust me when I say he’s eager to learn.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Good ol’ missionary, also enjoys doggystyle. Something about the sound of you screaming his name into the pillow drives him wild.

Muffled noises leave your lips, a beautiful song of his name harmonizing perfectly with the sound of his hips meeting yours. You’re pressed perfectly beneath him, arched just the way he likes it, a hand running down your back appreciatively.

He finds himself grinning at another whine of his name, fully draping himself over you. His lips meet your ear as the force of his thrusts increases, legs shaking in an attempt to keep up with his brutal pace.

“Just like that my love, you’re doing so well.”

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

To him, having sex is his way of showing his love for you, and he’s very serious about that. He’ll crack a smile or two, but if you joke around too much he’ll probably look at you confused before starting again, making sure that this time you’re too preoccupied to try.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He does keep himself trimmed regularly, a habit from his days as a former royal. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Having sex with Clive is a declaration of his love to you, every action speaks to you in a profound way that extends beyond just pleasure. There's something so affectionate about being with Clive, every action fulfilling a need you were never aware of. His touch, a declaration of his love, his words devout.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Moderate sex drive, doesn’t really jerk off and if the urge does rise, he’d rather just go to you. On the off-chance he does partake it’s very quick, driving himself to pleasure as fast as possible with a hand on his mouth to silence himself.

You had left early in the morning while he was still asleep and when he woke up he found himself missing you, which then evolved into him missing your body, how soft it was under his hands, how it moved for him as he explored it. Further and further did his imagination take him under his fingers squeezed at his hardening cock, a sigh leaving him as he freed himself from his nightwear. 

He wanted to take his time but the thought of you made him frantic, hand moving faster and faster against his length. Just when he felt that blinding sensation build up in his core the door opened abruptly, the shock causing him to halt in fear before he realized it was you who walked in.

A look of shock, then of lust passed through your face. “Of all the things I expected to find, this was not on the list.”

Clive moves to apologize, reaching for a blanket to cover himself before he’s stopped by your hands at his wrist. 

You eye him up and down, pulling the blanket further away as you sit at his side, lips kissing softly at his neck. He’s confused, hesitant to move from his spot.

“My love?” He asks, looking up and down at you. His cock is still throbbing with need, even more so now that you’re touching him, breath hitched when your fingers trace against his length.

You whisper into his skin, breathy. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here before, but I’m here now. Let me take care of you.”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise kink - He’s always complimenting you one way or another, whether that’s on the battlefield or in the bedroom.

Body Worship - Truly believes you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he makes you feel like it too. If you’re insecure about anything, he’s going to make it his personal goal to show you how perfect you are.

Frottage - Sometimes the two of you are so eager that you can’t be bothered to take your clothes off. At times like this he’s content to watch you fall apart on his lap, only to have his hips stutter when your fingers press against his clothed erection. 

Size Difference - He can’t help the pride that swells in him when you can’t reach something and have to ask him for help, it makes him feel needed. He also can’t help how his dick throbs when you struggle to take it, the smallest little bump forming against your stomach when he pushes all the way in.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom, or if you’re on the road, a local inn. He prefers sex to be somewhere neither of you can be bothered.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Spending time with you, holding you close. It’s not unsurprising to have a hand “innocently” rest under your clothes and if anything else were to happen, well, that’s just a happy accident.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything pain-related, or anything that can draw blood. He doesn’t want to hurt you, so any and all weapons are off the table.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Has a preference for receiving rather than giving, only because the sight of you with his cock in your mouth makes him weak in the knees.

His hands are bundled in the sheets, hunched over, trying his best to control his hips. Your mouth laps at the head of his cock, and when you look up at him doe-eyed he nearly comes right then and there.

You love him when he’s like this, such a strong man reduced to his base form, struggling to contain himself under waves of euphoria. When you lift your mouth away he begs for you to return, only to silence himself when you put his hand in your hair.

“Go on,” you goad, licking a stripe against his length. You don’t miss how his fingers tighten in your locks. 

Your only warning is a groan of your name before he forces you to take every inch he has to give, a sinful grin curling at his lips when he feels you gag.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow, purposefully strokes, enjoys taking his time with you. Might treat you a bit rougher if he’s had a bad day, but he’ll apologize after and give you the best aftercare the world has ever seen.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If he’s short on time, sure, but he much prefers to take his time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Like before, he isn’t experienced so any risks being taken would most likely be proposed by you. He’s up for trying anything once, so long as it isn’t dangerous.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Former Shield of Rosaria, as well as the Dominant of Ifrit? You’d be lucky if he breaks a sweat.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He probably wouldn’t think about them until you showed him one, all of a sudden a new world has been unlocked to him. This goes back to the dirty secret bit, but he’s also played around with the idea of you using them on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Likes to tease you, but can never commit to it because the moment you beg him to keep going he’s quick to give you whatever he wants.

He has you encased in his arms, back pressed against his front as his fingers move across your aching sex, so close and yet so far from what you need. 

He laughs at your frustration, keeping your legs held open with one hand while the other makes feather light touches against your exposed folds. He’s enjoying himself, but you’re fit to burst. 

“You look beautiful like this, a pleasure for my eyes only.” He whispers into your ear.

Even when he’s teasing you he’s a romantic, even if you’re ready to cry in dismay.

“Clive, I’m begging you—“ You reach a hand to his wrist, pressing his hand further to touch your clit. “Touch me, please.”

He looks down at your glassy eyes, and his heart tugs at the sight of you so desperate. He obliges without a second thought, enjoying the sound of your moans bouncing off the walls.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not a moaner, but a chatter. Likes to tell you exactly what you do to him as he fucks you.

“Founder, I could spend the rest of my days like this—“

A sharp thrust leaves you keening, a jumbled mess of what would be his name leaving your lips. The sound of his cock entering you is obscene, only made worse by your own voice crying out for him.

“—you, ah, you want that, right? Want me buried inside you until you can’t stand—“

He can barely finish a sentence without moaning, too far gone in the feeling of your wetness clenching around him. You don’t reply, but your body tells all, your back arching off the sheets.

“Ah, I knew you would,“ He hits that spot inside that has you seeing stars, and before you could scream he swallows whatever sound you make with his mouth against yours, sloppy and unrefined. 

When he’s satisfied, he pulls away to admire your supple body laid bare before him. With a growl, he continues. “Don’t worry, I want that too.”

He doesn’t stop moving, not for a second. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Likes to use Ifrit’s flames to keep you warm in the cold winter nights. It’s also an excuse to keep you close.

Even as you sit in front of the fireplace a chill is settling deep into your bones. After the third shudder you find yourself lifted into the air by a familiar pair of arms, enveloping you in a warmth that causes you to relax instantly.

“You didn’t have to Clive,” you murmur, moving closer into him. “The fireplace would have gotten me warm soon enough.”

He chuckles, the sound rumbling in his chest. “Would that have been before or after you turned into a block of ice?”

You smile at the joke, relaxing even further when he presses a kiss into your hair. He places you on the bed, quickly maneuvering himself behind you as a blanket of heat spreads across you.

“Sleep well, my dear. I’ll keep you warm instead.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

6 inches, very girthy, needs to work you up a bit before getting anything done, but once you’re nice and prepared you feel so full.

No matter how many times you’ve had sex, Clive always marvels at how tight you are, how small you look beneath him or how wide your eyes get when he rests himself at your entrance. 

The first time you had sex you had told him unsure, “I don’t think it’ll fit.” 

He proved you very wrong that night, as he did every night since. Even now, as your eyes roll back at the delicious stretch he provides, he’ll prove you wrong once more.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Moderate, he's always thinking about you and making sure you're comfortable.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

The moment he’s certain all your needs are met he’s falling asleep alongside you. Will also take some time in the morning just to admire you before he has to leave.

[comicaurora]

Out of curiosity, how far ahead are you on the comic? I mean, you must have it all planned and written out, but I imagine that you are drawing the future of Aurora even while we're reading it.

So is Arc 2 already illustrated and ready for upload while you're on like Arc 5 or something? I'm by no means undermining your need for a break; I'm shocked that you've been uploading continuously for over 4 years at this point. I'm just interested to know how long it takes a person to make something this great. And also if you change any details in the final edit?

Basically: what's the workflow like?

Also I think you low-key inspired me to pick up painting as a hobby. I'm ready to pour so much money into creating things that I know I'll hate. :)

God, arc 5? That's a very generous assessment of how fast I can draw!

Typically, when the comic is updating regularly, I keep a buffer of 10 to 20 completed pages. Right now, in the interest of taking a break, the buffer is 0 completed pages.

Chapter 1 of Arc 2 is completely storyboarded, meaning it's sketched out, the dialog is all mostly finalized barring last-minute rephrasements, etc. It can be read in its current form, it just looks unpretty. In fact, just for fun, here's a sneak peek!

In the next month I'll go through and finalize as many pages from this chapter as possible - which means locking down the panel borders, fleshing out the backgrounds, lining, shading, coloring, polish, etc. - which will be the process of building up a new buffer for when the comic starts back up again in January. During that time, I'll also be storyboarding Chapter 2 and as much of the following parts as I can manage.

I have the next several chapters and sub-arcs planned out in loose timelines - event A happens at location B leading to consequences C and D, stuff like that. Chapter 2, being the closest, is a little more fleshed-out, with a more detailed bullet-pointed timeline and various character ideas I've had that might or might not make it into the final version.

What exactly the chapter breakdown is going to look like is a little more complicated. Initially I'd planned for Chapter 1 to be low-stakes downtime and Chapter 2 to quickly kick off the high-octane adventure again, but when I started bullet-pointing out the stuff I wanted to do in Chapter 2, I ended up with a big pile of slower-paced character moments I thought were well worth exploring, so the runtimes might stretch a little.

Translating those brainstormed notes into storyboards and dialog is what I would classify as the "writing" part of this process. It happens at an erratic pace largely determined by the whims of whatever muse decides to get me in a headlock that day; sometimes I go weeks with no storyboarding progress, sometimes I hammer out fifteen pages in one day.

It's kinda like weaving, to me. The soon-to-be-arriving parts of the story are the most finalized, the most densely woven. A little ways beyond that, things get looser - some patterns may be locked down, but the actual work that'll hold it together hasn't been done yet. And in the far-flung future arcs, it's just the basic bones of the story and a pile of the threads I've planned to use. I know the shape of it, but in order for it to be fun and engaging for me to make it, I need to give myself room to be creative when I'm putting the whole thing together.

I actually have a file called the "Toolbox" that contains every random character or subplot idea I've had, and sometimes when I'm debating where to go with a chunk of story, I'll crack it open and scan through to see if anything jumps out begging to be used. Lotta fun stuff in there that may or may not ever see the light of day. Dropping stuff in the Toolbox is one of the most fun and freeing parts of the process for me!

[nartml]

To Pimp a Butterfly and 1989: a rant

Listen here, three things about me are that I'm a) white as snow, b) Greek, c) still a minor.

What does this mean? It means that I obviously wasn't raised with hip-hop, and I got into Kendrick Lamar's music pretty late.

As in, early this year.

I've known of him for some time, and the moment I found out he had a Pulitzer prize at some point in late-ish 2023, I decided I had to sit my ass down and pull out Spotify.

Now, as an avid reader of both fanfiction (ao3 raised me) and books [I feel the immense need to clarify that I don't associate myself with mainstream booktok. Capitalism's consumerism has overrun that shit and all I see are the same 20 books being recycled and recommended (a substantial amount of those are Colleen Hoover and her variants). Tropes and spice* are officially the defining factors of whether a book is worth it (*your porn addiction ain't cute) and quantity is heavily prioritized at the expense of quality. Also, diversity who?], I was, for a lack of a better word, hyped.

A Pulitzer prize is nothing to scoff at in general, more so in music, more so in hip-hop.

(Edit: Upon quick reflection, I realize that putting emphasis on hip-hop can come across as coded.

I am in no way, shape, or form trying to undermine hip-hop or say that it's somehow less 'sophisticated' than, for example, classical music. I'm very aware of the amount of skill and technique one needs to write a masterful hip-hop album, and I'm not doubting that there are hip-hop artists out there who are also incredibly deserving of such a prize. I meant it in the sense that I've unfortunately never heard of another hip-hop artist who won a Pulitzer before, which is quite telling.)

That's some huge shit, and I'd be a fool not to be intrigued.

Admittedly, I didn't get on that immediately. For a while I procrastinated, because I wasn't in the mood to hyper-fixate on anything new just yet.

Which of course meant I ended up forgetting about it for a few months, because of course I did.

But then I came across a TikTok that talked about how it was insane that '1989' won the Grammy when To Pimp a Butterfly was right there.

Now, a fourth thing about me is that I don't fuck with Taylor Swift.

And a fifth thing about me is that I'm not baseless in anything that I do, say or feel, and that includes annoyance.

Her immature understanding of activism and feminism leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The way she built up her fan base around this portrayal of her as a relatable girl's girl, her refusal to accept criticism, and always making a victim out of herself (even now when she's in her thirties and is a fucking billionaire) while never using her position of power and privilege for good are all reasons that serve to fuel my dispassionate dislike.

And before any Swifties get on my ass, no, I don't think that "But she's a singer! Why are you expecting so much out of her, she isn't even qualified to speak on XYZ—" is a good enough excuse.

She has always been rich, and now she's a billionaire. There are no ethical billionaires, and that includes her.

Fame is influence is power. Uncle Ben said it all: With great power comes great responsibility.

And let me tell you, I don't see her owning up to that responsibility, especially after all that talk about how she supports women, supports the LGBTQ community, and supports the BLM movement. Has she ever actually put her abundant money where her mouth is?

I've never seen her speak about anything that doesn't immediately concern her.

Don't get me wrong. She's not the only celebrity like this out there. I'm sure there are worse cases. I know it for a fact.

To wrap this segment up before I get even more sidetracked, I'll outright state that I don't hate her, because hating her would by definition mean that I, in some way, actually care about her, and that just sounds exhausting.

Best way to describe me is indifferent, leaning towards distasteful.

She's annoying.

And that's how I feel about both her as a person and her as an artist.

I'm not denying her talent, nor her impact on the industry, nor the fact that she does have good songs that even I like.

A select few, of course, but still.

Apart from those...what? Ten songs? I have never, ever been able to listen to any other song of her's all the way through.

I get bored. They do nothing for me. They sound empty. Hollow. Plastic. Repetitive.

Her lyrics, that are praised by fans for being deep and complex, sound pretty surface level to me.

Not all of them. But I'm a sucker for analysis. A literature nerd. Greek is my native language. I can tell when something's deep and when something wants to be deep.

(Not necessarily including Folklore and Evermore in that category. Her storytelling ability is actually great.)

Her music largely sounds like it wants to be deep.

Most recent example being her latest release, The Tortured Poets Department.

Anyway, back to Kendrick.

My initial plan was to listen to 'DAMN.' first, because that's what he won the Pulitzer for in the first place.

There was a change of plans after that TikTok.

I decided to compare the opening tacks.

I put on Welcome to New York, and predictably, I felt nothing.

The rhythm is dance-y, I suppose. But there's nothing substantial about it. There's nothing exciting about it.

The lyrics are juvenile, and I get it, it's a pop song and she was in her twenties.

Nobody is expecting Shakespeare (no matter how much you scream or kick your feet, the only reason Shakespeare couldn't write Taylor Swift is because he's in another league entirely) or Odysseus Elytis. Nobody is expecting mind-blowing lyricism.

But it's the opening track to an apparently Grammy-worthy album. The very least I'd expect from it would be some additional levels of artistry.

Am I being harsh? Probably. Do I care? No.

Disappointed but unsurprised, I put on Wesley's Theory.

I ascended within the first minute.

Don't get it twisted, I barely understood shit.

Not only am I white, I am also entirely removed from America and its culture as a whole. I don't know what's going on there in y'all's daily lives.

And this was baby's first proper introduction to hip-hop as a whole.

My untrained, white-ass ear barely caught two references. I got what the gist of the song was about, and that's about it.

I had to look up analyses of the track to fully grasp what Kendrick was on about, and even then, there was obviously still a disconnect.

And I expected all of that.

I didn't expect to get hooked on that song within the first listen.

I swear to fuck, the beat is addictive. I swear to fuck, even when I was fighting to understand what the lyrics were referencing, I was having the time of my life.

Even I, an amateur in every sense of the word, could tell that there was depth and there was quality and there was intentional meaning in every line of that song.

It didn't matter that I couldn't understand it. It mattered that I knew it was there. Not because someone told me that was the case. But because it was audible.

I listened to the next track. And the one after that. And the one after that. I had listened to all of the tracks, before I knew it.

And the evident permeance of quality, of substance, carried on throughout the whole album.

It had exactly the type of lyricism I'd expect a Grammy-worthy album to have. It had exactly the amount of artistry I expected a Grammy-worthy album to have.

Even better, it had all the ingredients I expected a timeless album to have.

The poetry Taylor Swift fans insist hides in her discography, I found in plain sight within Kendrick Lamar's.

After meticulously reading the lyrics, I watched video essay after video essay, searched for analysis after analysis on this album, each time understanding the meanings behind it a little better.

Needless to say that the Grammy's are rigged and I love Kendrick Lamar.

Hip-hop is gorgeous.

[sweetly-yours-and-mine]

Could I request a little ‘A got roped into a blind date by their friends. They don't want a new relationship and plan to make themselves as unlikeable as possible to dissuade any further possible setups. All of that goes through the window when they see how gorgeous B is.’ with Santi as person A

(if you get this twice I’m sorry I can’t remember if I sent this irl or not because I saw the post when I was hazy and delusional at 2 AM)

Pairing: Santiago Garcia x Reader

Word Count: 912

A/N: Just opened up my askbox for some requests! First time writing for Santi, very very excited about this one! (And don't worry ab requesting twice, hun! It was a very inspiring prompt)

Warnings: fluff, santi thinks he's unlovable, a bit angsty ig?, frankie morales is a good bro, poorly edited (author has BDE)

Santiago really didn’t do the whole dating thing. 

The flowers and the small-talk and the footsies over cheese-stuffed appetisers. 

He had a long-term relationship with running away, that strange, filtered aeroplane air making him feel closer to home than any of his mother’s cooking could ever hope to do. 

Better put, he wasn’t relationship material. 

It wasn’t a deliberate choice from his end. 

It sort of just…happened. 

Life had morphed Santiago into the jagged, crooked, ugly thing that he was now. 

In all of his attempts (three) at the real thing, all his tries at the dart board called love, it usually always ended in the same fashion. He’d take her to meet his friends, she’d realise sooner than later that she’d drawn the losing hand out of the four of them, and it was downhill from there. 

One of them had been kind enough even to enlighten him to exactly what he lacked. 

You just need to be more…Frankie, Santi. 

Though it hurt, it was good to get out in the open like that. The plain, mumpy truth, in all its glory: 

Santiago wasn’t relationship material because of the amount of ‘Frankie-ness’ that was lacking in his blood and DNA, because he was the losing hand, the cracked skipping stone in the middle of a torrential river on the way to the safety of land and love, true love. 

And so, in what would be considered a sociologist’s dream case study, Santiago did what he did best, self-fulfilled then self-destructed. 

He was the intermediary for girls before they managed to find their Frankie, Benny, Will. 

It was a tough truth to chew, left a bitter taste in his mouth, that he’d only been created for people to recognize their self-worth and move on. There was a disagreeable insinuation behind it, if he thought about it too long. 

Which was precisely why he didn’t. 

And he ran away instead when things got too hard, too painful. Like a thumbtack in the heel of his foot. 

But Frankie on the other hand, Frankie thought about it long and hard. Too hard and too long, no matter how often Santiago told him to quit it. 

From his seat behind the driver’s wheel, Frankie was able to watch everything with a keen, honed eye, his two ears moving back and forth like a great-horned owl’s. 

And nothing was able to go past Frankie’s eyes without him picking it up and giving it a thorough inspection.

Which is why Frankie's been adamant about it. A real pain in the ass. 

Santiago was the bachelor of the group now. The only single one left. 

And Frankie was set on changing that. 

No matter how much Santiago protested. 

Will and Benny gave in to Santiago’s reality with a simple nod, the former’s eyes sad and sombre, the latter’s teasing a little light-hearted and half-hearted. 

But Frankie and him had the strongest bond he’s ever experienced. Saving a guy’s life a couple times does that to you. 

Santiago knows, if anything, that whatever happens in this god-forsaken world, that Frankie will always be his rock, the one constant in a world of possibilities and probabilities.

But it also meant that Frankie had some sort of gall that the others didn’t. 

And tonight, he meant to put an end to it, swiftly and surely. 

The sibling of a friend of a cousin. 

That still doesn’t mean Santiago wants to be here. 

Detached enough from them that if it all went to shit, the ripples would be minimal. Attached enough to them to make the small talk a little less small-talkey.

“You’re frowning.” 

“That’s because I’m mad, pendejo,” he grumbles back at the baseball cap. 

Frankie huffs and though he can’t see it, he hears the eye-roll. 

He feels like a petulant child, like he’s being babysat to make sure he won’t act out. 

Which is what he is precisely planning to do. 

He’ll take care of it quickly. Despite his cynical, eighty-year-old with three cats schmick he’s settling into nicely, he still has a bit of heart. And whoever the poor person was that had been roped into this will be roped out just as quickly. No harm done and Santiago’s Frankie problem fixed once and for all. 

With another huff, Frankie leans back in his seat and fixes him with beady eyes, “At least, try to be a little agreeable.” 

He only grumbles in response. 

It’s a white-and-red chequered tablecloth kind of place. Corny, romantic, candle-lit. 

Santiago was hoping he’d never have to set foot in such a place again. 

The door jingles open. 

Show-time. 

Frankie sends him another one of his glares, and Santiago sends it straight back, letting it settle on his face, deep into the grooves of it. 

There’s rolls and rolls of nervousness fading off of you. 

But you look nice-

Beautiful. 

Gorgeous. 

The air’s been swamped out of his lungs. 

This wasn’t supposed to be part of the plan. This weird, fluttering thing that’s been going on his body since he laid eyes on you. 

Santiago’s vaguely aware that you’re talking with Frankie, thanking him for arranging it all. 

And there’s a lull in the murmurs. 

He hastily gathers himself up, the angry little press of lines on his forehead all but gone. 

He scrambles for the flowers Frankie made him buy you and holds them out, swallowing thickly, “Hi, I’m Santi.” 

He hopes that this’ll make for a hell of a first-date story.

Thanks for reading, if you liked it, please consider leaving some feedback! I don't usually respond, but I obsess and re-read reblogs and comments constantly.

Masterlist here, requests here.

[daakjenaar]

Sci-fi writers not being racist and unimaginative challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

I had a dream that I tried to write this recently and accidentally replaced it with footage of me playing Deep Rock Galactic when I tried to post it, so I’ll try my best to not do that.

I know saying that a lot of fantasy and science fiction worldbuilding is barebones and bland is a pretty tepid take. In many fictional settings, the idea of nationality, ideology, and race are conflated. One and the same, effectively. Mass Effect has the Turian Hierarchy and the Salarian Union, galaxy-spanning governments made up of almost singularly the species turians and salarians respectively, who all believe in roughly the same things, have the same broad personality, and have seemingly been stagnant for thousands of years. Deviation from the turian mentality is treated as a unique trait worthy of ascending a random NPC to a supporting character. To all other races, the idea that humans can believe in different ideologies is fascinating. I think it’s an uncontroversial take to say that this is pretty bland writing, and at least a bit racist. Outside of the special and unique (and overwhelmingly European) humans, all other cultures are monolithic and simplified. 

I should stop myself here because I genuinely have at least half a dozen essays’ worth of Mass Effect topics I would want to go on a rant about. I should move on.

Orson Scott Card’s writing beyond the original Ender’s Game is also emblematic of this approach. In his sci-fi universe, all of the countless worlds that have been colonized are entirely monocultural. Specifically, they are takes on cultures from the point of view of a 30-something center-right mormon in America in the 1980’s. Highlights include a world colonized by the Japanese which bears the name Divine Wind, which translates to ‘Kamikaze’, which might be in slightly poor taste. There is also a world with a predominately Chinese population that is notable for a) being largely covered in rice fields, and b) not knowing what neurodivergency is. It gives overwhelming ‘I read a Wikipedia article and skimmed a really racist history book and am now an expert on all other cultures” vibes. He also wrote Xenocide and Children of the Mind, so maybe we should stop taking him seriously.

So often, worldbuilding in fiction refuses to reckon with the idea that the nations they depict can be anything beyond overwhelmingly monocultural stereotypes of real-world people. After all, it’s much simpler if all of the aliens are just caricatures of other people that really exist, right? No work needed. Oh no, what's this picture of a T'au doing here?

This took me a while to write because I’ve got a lot of takes on the topic of writing and worldbuilding, and it was hard to figure out what to include and what to save for a more focused post later. On that topic, I do have another one planned focusing on my personal, insignificant takes on the ingredients to make a coherent backdrop for a story, and some hot takes and blanket statements to make about worldbuilding as a whole. It’ll hopefully be something more positive and constructive than this.

EDIT MADE MINUTES AFTER I POSTED THIS: I forgot to include the funniest example of all time, the world of Warhammer Fantasy. There are some incredible examples of this kind of worldbuilding. Kislev, the Lizardmen, Cathay, Nippon, Araby, the Tomb Kings, Bretonnia, all comically transparent carbon copies of the most obvious, stereotypical parts of real-world cultures that managed to become a relatively successful media franchise that helped to launch Games Workshop into the company it is now.

[humanmorph]

PALISADE 28.crazy good this week etc

New radio person for the intro...! This comes at a good moment. I still miss Baldwin Home like. That very first PALISADE intro is genuinely so hard to beat... but this feels good. I'm once again thinking about Austin writing these... The style used for Black Screens intros obviously shines through (she's his protégé) but she does have her own voice already (way more rhyming? I mean, I'd have to doublecheck HIS intros, it's literally just a feeling). Just the tone used and intonation already does a lot. Austin is so good at this fr. I'm still curious how he even approaches that. Also the "watch me unloose 80 Ls on these next lines" I knewwww that's 80 Ls for real as soon as Parti said illogical. I wonder if he wrote that bit first trying to see how many Ls he could fit in there & then finetuned it to get to a good number? I guess that's just how I would do it.

(who knows if we'll ever get a description for Parti. we never did for Black. maybe if she shows up in a conflict turn somehow? so im just fuckin around for now... i haven't sold myself on the clothes. i'm just not a fashion guy. but i do like the braids)

Oh & new guy alert part 2!!! New Keith character! And he has a funny hat. Not even funny as in goofy it just makes me laugh a bit because my dad and maybe every 5th 70+ y/o man I see has a hat like that. Love the sequin poncho.

(btw I am almost certain Keith has posted a picture of that teapot on Cohost before... He posts about tea sometimes so there's at least a chance. I mean the description of the coloring he gives is actually pretty good IMO, you can work with that, but I as an artist I like to have a visual reference. EDIT: someone just asked him. thank you keith and also rosecrest)

I have the. I got Armor Astir & a lot of the playbooks other people made in a bundle a while back and I'm real torn if I should just look at the Investigator because I'm really curious. But. I also love to be surprised. So I probably won't, but it's good to know I COULD, if I wanted to. Anyways, I was pretty sure it'd be another B-Plot character too, just because it makes sense. Brnine COULD go alone on a B-Plot, I guess, but it's more fun with 2 groups to jump between, surely. Though this means the Eclectic-Brnine dynamic is crucial! I hope they can meet up soon... But yeah I just really am gonna miss Phrygian backing them up and cheering and clapping and asking questions. They were so fun together... A great team :' (

ok so I wrote everything else about Eclectic down yesterday & then noted down "vibes?" as break between paragraphs because all I had at that point was the description & I wanted to get back to this. And ooohhh my god the vibes are fucking immaculate right off the bat I'm having a hard time to not Already be obsessed with this guy he's SO funny conceptually and it KEPT getting better... Truly delighted with this new type of guy (& Keith is doing a voice!). And I fucking love the hooks. Truly so great to me. The thought of these getting loosened OR deepened is already really really good. "Leap says"..... oh it's SO funny I keep laughing to myself

And I'm VERY excited it's a delegate like genuinely so happy. I was mourning the loss of a branched onscreen (okay.I still am) but this does make it worth it. Ever since they got introduced basically I so badly wanted to know anything more about them, but especially what Austin mentioned in the episode itself: the delegates relationships to the divines they are made from & of course the divines themselves (who are alive!!! Apparently that was already written in a dossier way back when, but I rarely read those). That has me sooo excited.

Oh and the like... I only thought about this just now but the connection there to Thisbe's new project is. That's gotta be something! "The divine who's being held captive somewhere on this planet, and has been tortured for millennia" hearing a message of... That this can end & rest is possible and it's SO CLOSE? But does that just make it worse... Ohhhhh. Yeah this rules. What a great idea.

That project generally is really... god, I love Thisbe so much. I love how Janine talks about her and what she thinks and why she does what she does. Thisbe's relationship to work and being a tool and of use is so interesting to put here, with the divines wanting to rest. (And Janine saying something like... Thisbe thinks of herself in relation to divines how Mow is to her? Kind of?) And saying it seems so solitary a project... every divine should know about it. Every divine deserves the right to rest. But it's also a call to action of sorts when she talks about like... "shouldn't you want to protect this?" I think her "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over." hook could be in conservation here too... Also I'm just looking forward for Thisbe to Broadcast again. It was like, one of her things in PARTIZAN. I really liked her & Cori working on this together with the. Experience they just had behind them. Sylvi & Janine reading the hooks for each others characters kind of sheepishly was soooo funny "I forgot how bitchy this was!". That's good stuff to me. (as an aside: god, Thisbe has always had good as hell hooks/beliefs/whatever else. Remember "Operant Broun lies to me because they believe I am a person."? Banger. ) I also love that she thought of this/about this at the rib(?) of Barricade. Barricade as an axiom who had this close (& good, protective) relationship with another axiom...

btw now that Leap is NOT coming back I do miss him a bit. Mostly out of principle like I am So happy we have Eclectic but Leap is my guy.... shoutout to him... being a bitch bastard pirate out there in space... + shoutout to Figure A too always : ) (speaking of, on the Gathering Information Extra bit from today he talked about if he had played Leap, picking a class that also had like, a crew, and I'm mostly just really curious who that would've been. I would love for Keith to make up some funny guys for Leap to order around. I wonder if Eclectic or an Eclectic type would've been on that?)

(Also Leap investigating Motion. Ok. To ME it's at least partly bc this was so important to Millie. And he has reason to be concerned generally he fought Motion too but. That's MILLIE'S rival! And it doesn't even have to be at the front of his mind when he does this. Maybe it isn't. But it's real & it's something to remember her by through actual action. Because he's not the sentimental type.Do you get me.?)

Brnine talk show. This was sooo good. After they joked about it in PAL25 too. I recognized the hosts name, but wasn't quite sure from where until I read the dossier - of course he's that guy from the podcast. God. I have got to relisten to that sometime... I remember Ali on one of the recent Gathering Information ep (the one w/ Austin on, I think) mentioning a conversation that was like. stressful to do. and then also to listen to? (since she has to for production/editing) and I figured it would be another Gucci-type talk but ooohh my god. This was sooo. EDIT: ACTUALLY what if it wasn't even. What if it's about to be this talk with Rye edit: GALLICA i cant believe noone called me on this. mixing my elects up. rye is the one gur killed (mvp). Austin was sounding a bit ominous about it at the end of this episode! HUGE shoutouts to Ali again she is just absolutely killing it this season for real... And I honestly feel like overall Brnine was, considering the situation, doing very well. Genuinely. You're feverish and hollowblooded and have this fucking. Guy needling you & asking the stupidest questions... & like. "You made Kalmeria. They'd never let you rot in jail." of courseeee they want Brnine working for them. They're so GOOD at what they do. They messed with the parts of A Fucking Divine. . I just had a scary thought and it involved Mustard Red. But. Surely not. Nooo. I'm shaking my head. However Arbitrage? An Arbitrage deal (like they tried to make them take before) would work just perfectly for this, wouldn't it...

some other stuff:

When Austin mentioned Grand Mag in that vision Cori had I thought something like 'man. sucks to be him : (' but like. In a genuine way. "I can't stop it from hurting people a little"........... Hah oh wow I just thought of this but I am so excited for people who haven't listened to TM to meet him now. He's not even my favourite he just makes me crazy in a way almost no other character does? Like there's something so WRONG with him. And there's things wrong with a lot of FatT characters but it's like... Well. Grand Magnificent.

I love the thought of them watching Brnines interview at the next movie night (POOR BRNINE.) but I also want to know what Eclectic would pick for movie night. Oh and Partial too. Though he may not be staying I would still really love to know. Partial coming on board for the mission has me intrigued generally.

Oh and Gur talking! Even if just a little. I still feel so bad for them. "I believe in whispers in ears"... and they have reason to now. Figure is a person trying their best to do good & make changes, which is what Gur wants. I just wish they weren't a specter haunting someone elses body & what even happens when Figure rolls a 10+. Is Gur still there and Figure just stops seeing him? oohh it hurts a bit.you can't do this to him you can't (related: I extremely forgot about the other specters and ghosts and ghouls and whatnot that Figure can also see. It's not just my friend Gur Sevraq. Looking forward to hear more about that & how it affects Figure so much as to roll with disadvantage!)

Love to learn just a little more about devotion. I really need to just relisten to that again & think about it a bit harder.

At one point Austin says "Still flanked by guards, you are" and it caught me off guard & made me wheeze. He didn't even do that on purpose . I get him I do this way too often(realize I forgot to say part of a sentence and pack it at the end)

[t-h-i-n-g]

Hi! I saw you are taking request. I like the idea of Max is mad at reader (for the most stupid shit like reader misplaced Max's comics) so r does everything to make up for it and it end up in fluff.

Don’t Say Stupid Things

a/n: hi!! i stuck with the comic thing but didn't fully go off of what you asked. i hope that's okay!!

word count: 1k

summary: max is passionate about very few things. but when someone disrespects them she'll let them know they are in the wrong. someone is you. you are someone.

warnings: not rlly proof read thats really it, but if there are any more let me know!!

st - masterlist m.masterlist

-----------

This was stupid.

She knew that. You knew that. She knew you knew that but Max is stubborn. So what did you expect? Really, I mean how else would you think she would react besides completely ghosting you?

You should never have called her comics dumb. You know that now. Owning almost a hundred dollars (from almost half the money that you gifted her for presents on holidays) worth of slimy paper.

Sure they were fine, but it felt like an obsession at this point. The shelves upon shelves that filled Max’s room and the fact one was always shoved in her backpack was just too much. Sure it was a lot, but you should have never called it dumb. Dumb wasn't the right word. Crazed maybe but you should never have called them dumb.

But also you knew you didn’t deserve this much torment. Max gets sensitive sometimes. It just comes in her list of warnings when you get her. Sensitivity is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, it isn't. However when it’s mixed with the amount of stubbornness that girl holds in her body you better be ready for the wrath of Mayfield.

Such as now. You are currently facing the torture of being ignored. It has been a week since you last talked to her and she wasn’t letting up. Max has made it very evident she found your opinions invalid and has taken the belief that you were just the most uncultured being to ever walk this earth.

But if “the most uncultured being to ever walk this earth is what she wanted your name to be now, you sure as well were going to change it. Anything for her. I mean duh, she’s your girlfriend… You think she’s still your girlfriend at least. There hasn’t been an official break up so till then she is still the love of your life.

Flashing back to now. The present, where you currently stood in the comic store. Staring blankly at the many racks without a clue of what to do. The chocolates and giant stuff bear that you left on her porch because she refused to open the door even though you clearly saw her walk into her house before you arrived. The only reason you didn’t camp out there was that her step-brother threatened to stuff you into the bear if you didn’t quote-unquote ‘Can it and the hell off of his property.’” Jokes on him. He’s not the house owner and Max’s mom loved you which means nobody would be stuffing you in a bear either way but he still looked like he was honestly considering it from the look in his eye. So yeah, the gifts were abandoned.

Now, plan B was better but less effective. Following Max around like a lost puppy between periods and begging for forgiveness during school seemed like a reasonable choice. Even if in the end she just acted like you were nonexistent

Plan C of her mom letting you in and you barging into her room didn’t work

Plan D was just begging her and practically crying at her feet.

Maybe you did look absolutely stupid and look like such a dumb ass but the quirk of her lip from your whiny pleas showed it was worth it. All those steps lead you to plan E. Where you now were buying the most limited edition comic book in the store. That you could afford of course. 

Stepping out of the store without 50 dollars felt like you had sold your soul. It would be worth it in the end though. Right? Anything for Max.

Standing once more on her front steps you didn’t know if your judgment was right. Billy had answered the door and you gave him an uneasy smile when he didn’t say anything to you and instead just turned around to yell into the house to call Max.

She then met you at the door with an unreadable expression. Her pretty face relaxed but her eyes held all that fire you missed oh so much.

“I never should have said what I did,” you blurted out, pulling out the pages from your bag and handing it out to her. “Collecting and reading comics is a passion of yours and I shouldn’t have disrespected it.” Uneasily Max took the comic from your hands. Her eyes widened as she realized what was in her hold.

“Is this the CGC Wolverine series?” She asked. The first words she said to you that wasn’t non-verbal or yelling at you. Rubbing your neck you shrugged.

“If that’s what it says.” She snapped her eyes back up to you.

“This is like almost 60 bucks,” Max stated.

“Well looks like I got a bargain then. The store sold it for 50.” Somehow her eyes grew wider.

“What the hell, Y/N. Why would you spend that much? You have just come over and hand me a fricken Wonder Woman and I would’ve been happy.”

“Like I said I shouldn’t have said what I did. If comics are what makes you happy, then I’m happy with getting you that.” Silence filled the space between you as Max found the words to respond. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish. “Unless if you don’t like it. Then I came to return it,” you teased. Frantically she shook her head.

“No, no. It’s great. Awesome, actually,” she laughed breathlessly. Bringing her arms up, she wrapped her arms around your shoulders. Instinctively you followed her actions, leaning into her embrace.

“Sorry again,” you hummed.

“I forgive you,” she responded, her voice muffled by your shirt. Sighing you rubbed her back gently. You missed her warmth.

“Just don’t add that to the dumpster like the bear, alright? That was one thing that was another.” 

Max physically winced against you. 

“How’d you know?” You let out a hearty laugh.

“Steve drove by and pointed it out. Not that it matters to me much anyway. He was the one that bought it and said it would work.”

[whitemonsterenjoyer]

Stupid stupid rant about my friend

TLDR: Friends are disappointing! I should just isolate myself and focus on ⭐ving instead!!!

honestly kind of fucking hate my friend right now. he gets pissed off over the smallest fucking shif and he never fucking says anything. he like hates communication. its gotten to a point where i dont want to play games with him and our other friends because he just gets annoyed and yells at us. i always feel like im doing something wrong! im so uncomfortable all the time! and then they get confused and upset when i dont feel like playing again. buddy, how can i fucking enjoy anything when youre making me feel uncomfortable at best the whole time????

he reminds me of my ex so much its awful. i cant stand him sometimes. if you dont respond the right way or at all hes say some shit like "i should just die" or "you guys hate me" and i just! hate it! and he refuses to communicate ANYTHING. hed rather give you the silent treatment IN THE FUCKING VOICE CHAT. you ask him a question qnd youll have to keep repeating it for like ten minutes before hell answer because he got mildly upset. he got snippy with us because we didnt have the game open the moment he joined the call. he got fucking mad at us for mentioning school while were on break. like???? im fucking sorry that we briefly mentioned something thats been a part of our daily lives for the last like 12 years? and we barely even actually talked about school. i just got upset that ill have to sit with the annoying kids in my first period, and our other friend said that her voicemail was full of colleges doing college shit. not only that, its just really fucking dumb that hes upset over talking about school during break. its literally fucking ending, you cant not think about it. and does he think that hes the only one stressed over school?? one friend doesnt even have freetime during the week a majority of the time because shes doing so much school shit. i almost committed in freshman year! and even now, i need hours after school every day to decompress because im so fucking overstimulated and overwhelmed all day! and the third other person is taking FIVE AP CLASSES. their ass is swamped with work too!!! meanwhile, he can get home and have the time and energy to draw and play video games and record and edit videos all in the same day. if snything he doesn't get to say anything about not wanting to think about school while relaxing bc hes the most relaxed!

i asked him why he didnt tell us smtg would upsst him before we did it and he just responded with "i assumed you guys were cool." ok.

i mentioned that i had stolen sone of my parents alc while i was doing online school. yknow that period of time where i was struggling with dissociation and thoughts of committing? and nobody was fucking talking to me? he said that made me a bad person.

our friend has a girlfriend and naturally they spend a lot of time together. he gets upset seeing that theyre playing the same game or knowing that theyre hanging out without us. i dobt mind, i just wished shed let us know that she had plans rather than leaving out of nowhere. but he genuinely like despises her for spending time with her significant other.

ive stopped making plans with him because he kept flaking. he was always so indecisive and he would cancel plans the night before so often. sometimes even the MORNING OF. he would want to save money even if he wouldve spent a total of 10 dollars, or hed be too tired bc he refused to stop playing games the night before. i always go to bed earlier if im doing something the next day. i dont know why im not worth the same energy. honestly im not sure he actually likes hanging out with me, im just the only one willing to do the same things as him. the only plans that worked out were things he was absolutely going to do regardless of anyone going with him.

i dont wven know how to breach the subject with him because, again, hes so much like my ex. i know that if i make him feel bad, hell either get defensive or just freak out and cry about it. i listened to my ex say id be better off if he was gone in response to me venting way too many times to want to express my feelings about people ever again.

and it really sucks bc other times hes really nice and fun to be around. i just wonder if he dies actually like me at all. i feel like he sees me as less than sometimes.

idk i stopped being mad and got sad.

but i mean hes implied it before. he wants more friends to play cod and fortnite with and go to the park at night with. he never asks me to do thise things. im willing to play fortnite. i want to play cod. i want to do literally anything at night especially go to the park. he especially wanted more guy friends to do things with.

hed be happier being friends with the kids at school who hate me

idk. this is dumb. its 3am.

[sleepsacked]

kim hongjoong nsfw a-z

18+!! mdni!!!

© sleepsacked 2022

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tumblr is fuckin ugly on mobile & duplicates shit idk how to fix it but if u do lmk >> anyways a lil smth til i get more motivation </3 im working on a masterlist rn & im debating if i should jus post it and edit it later </3 anyways doing all the members for this bit hopefully finished by the end of the week ^.^ enjoy<3

a ⋆ aftercare

not the type to be too crazy and loving after sex, of course wants to clean up but i think he'd also be the type to kinda wanna wind down post-sex in his own mental so would probably just clean up and lay with you quietly, depending on his mood and how much he is in his head or not, you might get lucky with some affection

b ⋆ body part (his favorite body part)

ok i know i said he was an ass man, but now im like . thighs. i could see him being a thighs guy, or even tummy </3 bye i could see him giving soft ass kisses on ur tummy </3

c ⋆ cum (anything to do with cum)

idk why but i cant see him being the type to like coming inside often, but if he did he would make it worth it. would probably hold off on sex for a while just to make sure he'd give you it all. other times would probably come on your tummy or ass depending.

d ⋆ dirty secret (his dirty secret)

why do i feel like he'd be curious about getting a footjob LOL and i will Not Elaborate unless asked. Other than that . WOULD Love when you top, but he's to prideful to admit he likes it when you do

e ⋆ experience (how experienced is he?)

average? LOL like not crazy experienced but not clueless either, but also picky who he opens up to sexually - a lot of trust and interest needs to be involved

f ⋆ fav position (sex position)

as ive said before- speed bump!!!!!!! && idk the name for this but the position where like his lovers head would be hanging over the bed and he'd fuck their mouth YEAHHH i could see him really enjoying that <//3

g ⋆ goofy (how he acts in the moment)

probably during foreplay he'd be a little goofy depending on comfortablity, but for the most part likes to be pretty serious and intimate. i feel like he'd be the type to say smth super cheesy like "sex is an energy exchange" LMFAO so he'd probably keep it pretty serious in the moment

h ⋆ hair (how groomed is he?)

i dont think he's hairless, definitely trimmed and groomed

i ⋆ intimacy (how passionate is he?)

hm this man is a scorpio so i hate to fall into that stereotype they're super like freaky and passionate but i do think he is - but only if he's all about you - like a tunnel vision type of love. you can see how charasmatic and passionate he is in terms of music and performing and i think that would translate into the bedroom if he feels like you're the only one for him

j ⋆ jack off (how often he masturbates)

i dont think he's the type to be horndog 24/7 but probably 1-2 times every other week idk horomones are weird </3

k ⋆ kink (one or more)

ORGASM CONTROL. i feel like even though his personality seems very colorful and wild or open-minded, in the bedroom he likes structure and being the one to call the shots and this definitely reflects in how much your orgasming and if he's letting you - maybe breathplay and some biting

l ⋆ location (fav place to do it)

not too keen on exhibitionism, so the bedroom/home is where it stays but if he's too eager for you then he doesnt mind somewhere more open

m ⋆ motivation (what keeps him going)

LOVES LOVES LOVES how reactive you are during sex to whatever he gives you, and loves that your honest about it, would be the type to stop in the middle of something if you're not giving your normal "feedback" and would ask where he needs to touch you or if he needs to go faster or slower

o ⋆ oral (giving + receiving — is he good?)

likes both equally but loves when you go down on him, refer to fav position bullet point >> loves seeing him bulge in your throat, enough said.

p ⋆ pace (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

prefers to start off slow and hard and gradually pick up pace from there >> if you guys are in missionary though, definitely takes him time with being slow and sensual

q ⋆ quickie (his opinion on it + how often they happen)

since he'd prefer more at home/in the bedroom environment i dont think quickies would happen often unless you guys went a long time without seeing each other and were just too eager

r ⋆ risks (is he willing to experiment, does he take risks, etc.)

would be open to experimenting some in the beginning of a relationship, but could see him falling into a routine and feeling comfortable in that.

s ⋆ stamina (how long can he last?)

probably two rounds MAX, but i think he'd be the type to wanna get you off first as much as possible before he has his way with you, would wanna edge you a lot first so you both could cum together

t ⋆ toys (does he use/own any?)

nahhh, would probably get you a dildo or a vibrator or something to use when you guys are away and wanna have phone sex >> but no matter the distance, mans is still in charge

u ⋆ unfair (how much does he tease?)

a menace, i definitely feel like he's a mean tease in public and likes seeing you embarassed or flustered so would be mean nonstop but fear not! behind closed doors, he loses some composure after seeing how riled up you are for him

v ⋆ volume (how loud is he + what noises does he make?)

dont really see him as whiny (at least all the time), but i do think he's a moaner, and definitely dirty talks but only if you guys are in close proximity and he can say it in your ear type vibe. i definitely think he would risk it all if it means getting to have you in his studio and letting him record yalls session(? LOL) >> feels confident in his own volume and moans to wanna incorporate it into something for later + he'd love to flex knowing his lover (you) sounds so good <333

w ⋆ wild card (random headcanon for him)

oh . dont even get me started . for one, i think this man is super into making out or just kissing in general. i definitely think he falls apart if you suck on his tongue in the middle of a makeout session 1000%

x ⋆ x-ray (what’s under his clothes?)

not thaaaaat big (but got some girth to him) and knows it </3 but makes up for it everywhere else >> might be insecure abt it in the beginning of a relationship

y ⋆ yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

dont see him the type to be clingy a lot and doting on a lover all the time, especially because he does have that "work now play later" vibe so i think itd really be like once a week or so but would make it a whole scene (foreplay, teasing, edging, etc.)

z ⋆ zzz (how quickly does he sleep after?)

dont think he'd fall asleep quick but not have much energy afterwards, probably stay up long enough to clean up and come down from post-nut state and then end up cuddling up with you

[longlivefeedback]

Commenting 101

Lesson 2: Describe the Indescribable

How are we all doing after the first week of finding our catchphrases?

Ok! So here's step 2 to help you comment more:

Describe the indescribable

Expressing yourself if hard. Many of you indicated in the notes on the original poll that you felt overwhelmed after reading and eventually just walked away without saying anything in a comment in the fic. As a writer, I get it. Writing is hard. Expressing the chaos of thoughts and emotions in your head is hard. If you want a tip on how to handle this and how to communicate even a little bit to the human being who wrote that thing you just read and who caused all those feels, do this:

Accept that you can't describe everything.

Pick one thing to describe.

Use words if necessary.

If you use your catchphrase at the beginning or end of the comment, you got the start of a real nice comment ;)

1. Accept that you can't describe everything

Just sit with your emotions for a while. Let your thoughts be chaotic. Take a breath. It's ok to feel and think a lot of things. And much as the author would love to know all your thoughts and feelings, they understand that it's hard to write it all down on a blank space. (Trust me, they went through the exact same thing to get that fic you just read out into the world and posted.)

So what do? If you cannot pick apart and describe those thoughts and emotions, it's ok to tell the author so! You can write things like:

"I'm sorry, I have so many thoughts and emotions about this story I don't even know where to begin! Just know that I loved your fic!"

"There's so much I want to say but I can't word properly right now this was amazing!"

"Putting a placeholder here for when I have the energy to comment properly!"

For the last one, you can come back and edit your comment as long as no one has replied to it yet. If they have and you can't, just explain in the thread or write a new comment! :)

2. Pick one thing to describe

So much to say, so little time and energy. Remember our first lesson? Something is better than nothing. So. Pick the first thing you remember. Pick the last thing that set you off. Pick the thing that you've been hung up on since the middle of the chapter.

Talk about it. Try:

"There's so much about this fic, but I want to mention this one thing..."

"Person A doing that thing made me cry!"

"I loved the moment when A and B kissed!"

"That part where that thing happened made me laugh aloud!"

"I'm just a mess of emotions at the end of this fic I can't even"

Check out @dawnfelagund's 101 Comment Starters for more examples.

The LLF Comment Builder was also designed to help users learn to comment using instructional scaffolding, as well as to remove other barriers to leaving feedback such as dysexecutive syndrome, anxiety, mobility issues that make typing long reviews difficult (particularly on mobile), language fluency, and mobile commenting functionality in general. Check it out to see if it helps for when you just aren’t sure what to say.

The key is to pick one thing, and know that that is perfectly okay. Don't let not being able to say everything paralyze you and prevent you from saying anything.

3. Use words if necessary

A picture is worth a thousand words they say...😏 So go wild.

Use emojis, add gifs, and (my personal favourite) the keyboard smash.

"This fic was just asldkfjas;dlkfjsdofwekl 😭🙏💗💞💖❤️‍🔥💕"

Enough said, yeah? :)

Remember:

When in doubt, comment your catchphrase.

Saying something is enough, and it is better than saying nothing.

If you really can't word, just spam hearts 💕💗💕💗💕💞💖❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

See you next week!

Lessons masterpost.

[izayoichan]

2, 4, 7, 17, 30, and all creator questions for my boi :)

For the boi!

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh? Very easy, he is the type that can laugh about almost anything, even when they hit their toe against something sharp, they just can't help but laugh, even though it fucking hurts. He also has a very contagous laugh, the type that if he starts and really gets the chuckles, no one in a room could either not smile, or start laughing too.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? He is far from the worst with it, although I think he is good at giving people some trust to begin with, and then let them prove to him that they are worth more trust that just that little bit in the beginning. So you have to work a bit to get into that proper inner circle of trust. Outwardly that makes him seem really trustful to most.

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? There are two things that are equal for him nostaliga wise. (this is a bit of a spoiler, but ah well) watching pairs skate is something that triggers nostalgia for him. After him and Ye-Min's accident he never got a new partner to skate with, but went solo. He doesn't mind that feeling, but it is bittersweet for him. It's hard to wonder what if. The other thing is helping out at the shelter. It brings back all the memories he had a child, and he loves the feeling it gives. It's simply comforting. So yes, he brings his daughter along, to hopefully give her the same feelings as he has when there.

17. Are they easily embarrassed? Suprisingly yes. He has learned how to hide it well due to his job, but yeah, he is quite easily embarrased. He doesn't blush easily, but a tell tell sign is shuffeling of feet and twiddeling his fingers when he gets embarrased.

30. Who do they most regret meeting? Hmh... I don't know if he regrets meeting anyone, he has been lucky that way. The only thing that comes to mind, is some of the kids that were bullies when he were younger, saying that his love for figure skating wasn't good. And then for me: A: Why are you excited about this character? Because he is so different from the normal character I make. I tend to make the happy couples and all that, and Rylan simply deviates from that norm, and I adore him for that. B: What inspired you to create them? He kinda did himself, I do play the kids a little, I made him a teen, and no matter who flirted with him, no one was interrested. So first I was thinking a bachelor, to find that spark, but after talking about it with @mahvaladara i realized I didn't feel that was right. He shouldn't have to fall in love with anyone if he so clearly did not want to. C: Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? Yes, because my brain followed my standard they shall find someone and live happily ever after in the end, but they wanted differently. D: Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? They aged up pretty much the way they looked now, I had to add the horns, scales hair and eyes, but other than that he is basically just how he grew up. E: Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you? Yeah, I think we would get along, We share a few traits, and some ways of thinking.

F: What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)? A half a year ago: Frustration, because i did not know what to do with them, none of the original idea felt right. Now, exitment and pride in who I feel they chose to be.

G: What trait of theirs bothers you the most? He is a athletic one.. so he always wants to exercise, mostly skate tbh, but its every single time I try and do something, like poses, he breaks out and does pushups, goes to skate and so on.

H: What trait do you admire most? His devotion to his family, specially his daughter and her mother. Even though they are not together, he cares deeply for both of them, and his family in general. He is very very family oriented.

I: Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe? I don't mind him going a bit in the fantasy direction on occasion, or an AU if it comes to mind. As long as his little one can come with, I'm happy with whatever my silly mind can come up with.

J: Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character? Luckily not. He had no big canon other than being part of the story I have.

thank you for asking!

[safer-protesting]

Everything’s kicking off but I’ve never been to a protest before — what do I do?

Before getting into the thick of things I should introduce what I’m trying to do and say here so that people can properly understand. First of all this guide is very heavily focused on UK protesting. I don’t have experience of protesting in other countries so please take any guidance which might be affected by that with a pinch of salt. I’ve been going to protests fairly regularly for the better part of a decade now, since I was a teen, and nowadays I tend to attend in more of a support capacity, doing first aid, handing out supplies to people etc. I am also an anarchist, and a lot of my language and attitudes in this guide will reflect that. I’m not going to pretend to have anything other than disdain for and a desire to abolish the police, as well as a dislike for a lot of the established or ‘respectable’ forms of protest. I’m also aware that as I am finishing this guide up it is June 2020 and both in the US and here in the UK, as well as elsewhere, people have exploded back onto the streets in a serious way in support of Black Lives Matter and against the continued brutalisation of BIPOC by police forces across the globe. Keeping this in mind, I feel I should point out that I am white, and therefore a lot of my experiences of the police have been very different to those of BIPOC, and while I’ve tried not to recommend anything which I would get away with and someone who isn’t white wouldn’t, there are almost certainly things I have missed.

NOTE JULY 2023: Since this guide was originally written there have been multiple changes to the law around protest in the United Kingdom. For the types of protest I describe in this guide, the most relevant are changes to conditions placed on marches or assemblies (Section 12 and Section 14), and criminalisation of locking on and disruption to ‘key national infrastructure’. The key thing to remember here is: if you heard the police announcing conditions upon a protest — don’t tell anyone around you, and it’s really hard to hear them all that well over all the chanting so really you didn’t hear them say anything anyway, definitely nothing about a ‘section’. For blocking highways, the main key is to just be more careful. The punishments and threshold are harsher now, and you should view the risk of arrest as being much higher than before. As always, check out the Green and Black Cross and Netpol guidance on these changes if you want anything more in-depth.

What kind of protest are you going on?

The kind of preparation you’re going to have to do and how you’ll want to behave changes massively based on what kind of protest you’re actually about to go on. Is it an A-to-B march? Is it a static lock-on/blockade? Are you expecting violence, or is this likely to be completely peaceful? How much violence are you expecting?

If you’re fairly new to protesting and demonstrations this can be hard to judge, so here’s a breakdown of the most common types of protest you’re likely to find:

Peaceful and static. Likely to be being run by Extinction Rebellion (XR) or something like that. These are usually going to be in a city centre or political centre, Whitehall/Piccadilly etc. They’re also fairly low risk, but it’s worth being aware of whether or not people are going to be breaking the law peacefully. EDIT: In light of the recent treatment of XR-style peaceful protestors, and the way the new Bill is specifically targeting disruptive peaceful protests like these, I wouldn’t say these protests are anywhere near as low-risk as they were before. Be prepared for anything, and for god’s sake don’t sit passively by and let your friends be hurt by the cops. Do something. Even if you’re dogmatically tied to Nonviolence (stop doing that), there are ways to peacefully prevent your friends from being assaulted and arrested by a team of state-sanctioned fascist thugs.

Peaceful and mobile. These are usually run by SUTR or one of the other ‘alphabet soup’ type groups with various forms of trade unions and smaller socialist parties usually present. Almost always in Central London, usually Parliament Square/Downing Street/Trafalgar Square focused. They can vary in size but usually range from 1000–15,000 and are almost always entirely peaceful outside of the occasional altercation with weird right-wingers or aggressive policing.

Smaller and potentially violent. These are usually called by anarchist or more extra-parliamentary communist groups, antifascist, pro-migrant, or more radical green groups, and are often ‘emergency demos’. Where exactly these are tends to vary quite a bit, but they’re almost always going to be in a city unless environmental direct action in the style of Ende Gelände in Germany takes off in the UK, although these are the most likely actions to not be taking place in the city centre, as they often target a specific organisation or are seeking to defend something. They’re usually quite a lot smaller than the above actions, in my experience between 200–1000 people, and can often be entirely peaceful outside of a few shouting matches with the cops or fascists (same thing I know), but can escalate very suddenly, depending on things like how the police feel or even if it’s a particularly hot day. Addition: as of spring/summer 2022 immigration raids being blocked spontaneously by groups of 100–200 people is something which happens from time to time. These events fall into this category in my opinion, and carry a very high chance of police violence and/or arrest, as well as a significant chance of post-action repression by the State in retaliation against people who were present.

Larger and potentially violent. These have become far less common in recent years, but the recent BLM protests have started to see them come back. Some student and the larger antifascist mobilisations have also strayed into this territory in the past. I expect these kind of protests to become more common in the next few years if things continue as they have been. These can vary from size between 1000–15,000 people, but sometimes more, and usually take place within city centres, especially Central London, but could be anywhere in a city. These kinds of actions will usually escalate to violence in a more gradual or noticeable way, but not always, so keep an eye out.

Mass Mobilisations, Large A-to-B. These encompass the big demonstrations that happen most summers, protests against any of the larger UN/IMF/etc conferences (COP, G8/10/20, etc), and sometimes the Tory Party Conference, but are not limited to these events. I expect these to become more common over the next few years. These protests are usually called by larger groups like the (now mostly defunct) People’s Assembly Against Austerity, or coalitions of socialist parties, trade unions, and extra-parliamentary groups. Demonstrations of this type are usually in Central London, with people travelling a long way to be there, and can peak at numbers in the hundreds of thousands. Violence is unusual, but far from unexpected as there will probably be various groups planning a multitude of actions throughout the day, and it is hard to predict anything. If there is violence at these my experience has usually been that it usually happens once the vast majority of people have gone home and the police feel more able to attack a smaller crowd, usually in order to kettle them.

I am not going to cover actions like hunt sabotage or protest camps here, since you should be briefed by the people bringing you to them, and I’m not experienced enough personally.

What should I bring with me?

It can be hard to decide about what to bring with you to a protest, since you want to travel as light as possible, and organisations are annoyingly lax about giving instructions about what to expect, so below is a general guide about what to bring, depending on which kind of protest you are attending. The most important basic advice I can give here is to treat the protest as though it’s a short hike; don’t bring too much, but enough to sustain yourself doing a fair amount of exercise.

DO NOT BRING:

Your smartphone. Unless you are able to do the following: set it to have a short lock time, updated to the latest software update, use only a keycode unlock (not face or fingerprint ID), and make sure it does not have any incriminating chat logs or photos on it. If you can manage that then it should be okay. If possible bring a burner phone. I sometimes use my old phones which I’ve wiped etc as a burner phone if I know that I’ll need it. Also be careful about how you film the police if you do that, I’ll include some stuff on how to do that further down. If you have any intention of doing stuff which might get you arrested, definitely bring a clean burner phone.

Drugs or alcohol. Unless you’re dependent on something or you need medication, don’t bring it. I understand bringing a couple of cans to a more chill protest but do not turn up drunk/high or bring anything which could seriously impede your judgement, I’ve seen too many drunk people get grabbed by cops as an easy arrest because they were causing trouble and weren’t fully alert, plus you absolutely put people around you in danger of getting grabbed. It’s also worth remembering that alcohol is actually dehydrating, even at small ABVs, so at the very least make sure you drink extra water if you drink alcohol. This goes more so for potentially violent or confrontational protests but also be careful about less dangerous ones. Also holy shit you don’t wanna get nicked at a protest with weed on you just be smart.

Your dog. I’m literally begging you, stop bringing dogs on protests, especially if they’re gonna be confrontational. I know how cool Negro Matapacos and Loukanikos looked during riots but they were street dogs who got adopted by rioters, not your dog on a lead who you have to look after and will absolutely get you arrested if it even slightly looks like it might threaten a cop.

Too much stuff. Don’t weigh yourself down unnecessarily, you’re gonna get exhausted halfway through and have a crap time for the rest of the demo, trust me. I know it’s tempting to just bring as much stuff as possible but you’re gonna have to rely on other people to bring enough water for themselves sometimes. Some folks do bring a bunch of extra water to hand out, which is always nice, and if you want to do that then go ahead, but plan for it and bring a buddy or two to help out.

Essentials for all protests:

Water. Always bring enough water for yourself, if not the people you’re going with too. The general formula for how much to bring is 500ml as standard, plus 500ml for each one of: a hot day, wearing heavy, dark, or a lot of clothing (ie masked-up), and running around a lot or doing anything strenuous. For example: I would carry 2L of water with me on a large demo on a sunny day in June when I am wearing a mask and hat, and think that there might be trouble with the police later in the day.

Food. Sweets, nuts, or fruit bars work well enough, you’re only trying to keep your blood sugar up enough to not faint or anything and you should make sure to eat a meal before the protest. Salty snacks like crisps will also help replenish salt you lose in sweat. Snacks are also something useful to carry in abundance, as they’re often light and others will forget them, but if you do that I would tend towards vegan and nut-free snacks.

Sensible Clothes. This includes good footwear, warm/cool clothes you can move in, rain cover, etc. Doc Martens are not particularly practical from experience, I would recommend trainers or waterproof boots if needed.

A Face Covering/PPE. Even if you’re not worried about police surveillance (and you should be), you should absolutely wear something to cover your mouth and nose, such as a disposable surgical mask, in order to reduce the risk of COVID-19 infection. There will often be people handing these out but don’t rely on that, and depending on how you get to the protest you should’ve been wearing one anyway mate.

Tissues. No really, they’re super useful and no one brings them, plus if someone gets a nosebleed it’s a good stop-gap until the first aiders can get some gauze.

A portable phone charger. Seriously these are so useful you have no idea how often I’ve run out of battery and not been sure how to get home please bring one, if not for yourself then for me because I will definitely forget.

Medication. Especially if you have anti-anxiety or asthma medication, or anything similar. You can often be at a protest for longer than planned and having medication can be extremely helpful. If it’s a valid prescribed medication in the pharmacy box you got it in the police aren’t supposed to try and take them off you.

Sun cream. Even if you don’t think you need it, other people will, and even if it’s cold or cloudy you can get burnt. Use a high UV-rating one, you’re trying not to get skin cancer here, not trying to tan.

Friends. I know it’s not always possible, but going to protests alone is generally a bad idea. Being around other people you know means you have someone who can look after you if things go wrong, and also you’re just gonna have a better time if you can screw about coming up with better chants than whatever recycled and outdated trash the SWP are yelling.

A Bust Card. These are very important little pieces of paper which have written on them legal advice about what to do if you are arrested or you see someone else being arrested. They also usually have the phone numbers of local lawyers who specialise in protest law. If you don’t have one of these you can: pick up a stack at your local radical bookshop/infoshop (for example in London I would go to Freedom or 56a), print out one for your region from the GBC site or you can ask a Legal Observer you see on any demonstration and they will likely be able to give you one. EDIT 2: this section previously said a lot of old bust cards were out of date. Most bust cards currently in circulation are now up to date in my experience.

Non-essentials:

Something to change into after the demo. This is usually only necessary on protests which are likely to be violent or illegal but is useful regardless. You should especially bring this if you are planning to participate in black bloc tactics. Useful on antifascist, potentially violent, and mass mobilisations.

First Aid. Don’t bring this unless you’re a trained first aider (obviously some plasters or whatever is fine but don’t go running around with a full kit without knowing how to use it), and it’s probably a good idea to ask the organisers if they will have first aiders present, but if you’re trained, confident, and have room in your bag then go ahead. Useful on all protests.

Your own placards, banners, or flags. I don’t have space here to go into why picking up Stand Up To Racism/Socialist Worker placards is bad, but google ‘Comrade Delta’ and find out for yourself (content warning for sexual assault.) It’s also just nicer to have some variety. But don’t just come up with a bad pun and come along because you want to get your picture on social media, everyone’s sick of people doing performative shit like that. Also, all of these items can be useful if things kick off, as I will explain below in the tactics section. Get together with your friends and make a cool banner! Have a placard making sessions locally! Be fun, but also smart. Useful at all protests.

A burner phone. Bring one of these if your normal phone can’t be properly secured in the event of being arrested, and you could be at risk of arrest at almost any protest. Seriously, don’t give the cops more intel than they already get from mass surveillance. Useful at all protests.

Goggles or some other eye/face/head protection. These aren’t used very heavily in the UK at the moment since tear gas isn’t commonly used in the UK, excluding Northern Ireland, and isn’t in use by any mainland forces at the moment, although that may change (UPDATE: use of pepper spray/CS spray has been getting more common recently, be aware of that). Swimming goggles are good enough to help prevent the effects to your eyes, while respirators can cover your entire face if need be, but are fairly expensive (mine was about £30 and only covers my mouth and nose). Helmets, meanwhile, can be very useful. You can pick up these things called ‘bump caps’ at some hardware shops (I found them at B&Q) which are ordinary-looking black caps with a shell on the inside. They aren’t quite on the same level as a proper helmet, but they’re lightweight and inconspicuous protection. I have personally been hit by bricks thrown by fascists and I now always bring a helmet on any protest where I think that is a potential risk. Bike helmets are good enough for this if you have one. Useful at potentially violent, antifascist, and protests where the police are likely to be aggressive. NOTE: Police are more likely to be aggressive than they were when this was originally written, as they have both developed an intense siege-mentality against the public in the wake of a bunch of scandals, and have had their powers massively expanded.

Look there’s other stuff it’s fun to bring too but I’m not trying to teach you how to get arrested here, but go watch some videos of Hong Kong or Chile and see what you can learn about self-defence against the police. Be careful with that shit though.

A note on masks and anonymity

Bring something to cover your face, no matter what. I know that it doesn’t have great “optics” according to some people, and you might think you don’t need to if you don’t plan on breaking the law but this is about more than that.

There are three essential reasons to mask-up at protests: anonymity, other people, and safety.

Anonymity is an obvious one; as the surveillance state expands (and will do so even faster under a Tory government), anyone who protests is under threat, whether or not they break they law, because everyone is surveilled. If you haven’t been to a protest before then you may not have seen the pairs of police officers who wander around or stand by the side of the crowd filming it. This also happens when people are being released from a kettle, and is used to identify anyone who does anything illegal, or has done anything illegal, but also helps the state keep a record of almost anyone who exercises their right to protest.

The second reason, other people, is tied heavily to the first, as it helps other people stay anonymous by helping to normalise the wearing of face-coverings at protests. Wearing a mask helps make sure that anyone else wearing a mask looks significantly less suspicious, thus making everyone safer and just making sure we all have a better day (except possibly the government). In London the police are also introducing facial-recognition cameras placed in public areas, so normalising people wearing masks will help defend civil liberties from an authoritarian police force.

The third reason, safety, covers issues around smoke, CS spray, or tear gas, but also covers opposing protesters (usually fascists), and now helping to prevent infection with COVID-19. While wearing a mask on its own will do almost nothing for CS or gas, it can help if someone sets off a smoke grenade or a flare right in front of you. If you want something more robust, then wearing a respirator you picked up at a hardware store and some swimming goggles is the best protection you’ll find without going full overkill and buying a knock-off Chinese military gas mask. Safety from opposition protesters is important because the far-right have a nasty tendency to take pictures of anyone at counter-protests and post them online, trying to identify and harass anyone they can. Wearing a mask can go a long way towards preventing this and damaging the fascists’ ability to intimidate opposition.

On filming the police and protestors: as far as possible, avoid filming protestors, especially their faces or anything identifiable. We’ve already seen a lot of citizen-cops online going through videos from Bristol etc to identify people, often who are on the receiving end of police violence. For photos, this tool to anonymise and scrub pictures before you upload them can be useful.

If you want to read about this more from someone who can write about it better than I can: here is Netpol’s article on protest anonymity.

Some Information About Tactics

You’re going to see a large diversity of tactics if you spend enough time at street protests. It may not feel like it after a while, as you start to develop a certain sense for things, but there are almost as many different ways of protesting as there are people attending a protest, so here are a few which you’ll probably see fairly often.

A new note of Police Tactics in 2021: I’ve noticed a bit of a shift in police tactics recently, since the Tories came into power but also in response to BLM and XR protests. This isn’t just because of their expansion of powers, but also because they know that they have a government (and Home Secretary) in power who will back them to the hilt on anything they do in the streets, and because police on an individual level have started to become radicalised in much the same way cops in the US have been over the last decades. One of these new tactics is to wait until a certain point in the protest, usually when most people have decided that everything will be calm and they let their guard down or head home. Police will then suddenly decide that their duty to facilitate protest no longer applies and will come in hard on a core of people who have stuck around later, often people who it is easier for them to criminalise for a variety of reasons, allowing the police to claim that they were reacting to a more hardcore, disobedient, or violent element of the protest, separate from the rest of the demonstrators. Because of this, I’d advise being especially cautious towards the end of protests, particularly after dark because the cops seem to love getting ultra-violent around then, and to refrain whenever possible from demonising people who don’t protest in the way you deem appropriate, especially if you weren’t there yourself, and to never ever trust what the police claim predicated their response. For examples of what I’m talking about see the use of horse charges against BLM protestors after most people had left in Whitehall during the summer of 2020, and the treatment of smaller groups of protestors who stayed later than or were separated from the main group in Bristol during March 2021.

Second note, 2022: Police have only got more violent since 2021. They are using similar tactics still, but seem far more willing to initiate serious violence than in previous years, as they are more strongly backed by the law and the State generally. Be aware of the potential for being kicked, punched, or hit with a baton by police, and consider what injuries might look like from those or how to defend yourself. There will usually be warning of this, but not always.

Black Bloc: This is the tactic which is most often associated with ‘Antifa’ (antifascist) protests, in which as many people as possible dress entirely in black (hence the name), including hoods, face coverings, etc. This works to create a large anonymous group of people who can act without being at risk of being identified, allowing them to take part in actions which might otherwise be too dangerous. You’ll often see them carrying black flags, sometimes with red or green on them, as black bloc is heavily favoured by anarchists. It is also worth pointing out that black bloc as a tactic is not inherently violent, although it is usually associated with violence, and people in black bloc are often harassed by other protestors who believe they are there to “cause trouble” or “detract from the movement” by being violent, which is worth a whole essay on its own to tackle. If you choose to take part in a black bloc, then there are two important things to remember. First of all: stick with your friends, and avoid getting separated from the bloc at all costs, as ending up on your own can defeat many of the advantages of the bloc. Secondly, make sure you have a method for de-blocing, or leaving the bloc. This means having more normal-looking clothes which you can change into when the time comes to leave, and having a safe way or place to change into those clothes. This helps to avoid any risk of you being followed after the protest has ended, either by police or counter-protestors.

“Taking a Road”: This refers to the act of taking control of a road in order to block or control traffic. It’s used in pretty much every protest that at some point strays from any pre-determined march route or rally location. You’ll sometimes hear people shout “take the road”, which is a signal to spread out across the road in order to occupy as much of it as possible, as police will often try to restrict protestors to one side of a road in order to allow traffic to continue on the other side, largely defeating any possible disruption which the protest might have created. Taking a road is often a fairly peaceful and non-confrontational act, but I have seen the police overreact and use fairly brutal force to remove people or prevent them from blocking the road. This can result in some pretty nasty injuries so watch out for anyone around you. EDIT: This tactic is often used in a way which results in people getting arrested, and there’s been a recent tendency, led by some sections of XR, to actually block people getting arrested from being helped by others. Don’t be that person. Getting violently arrested is a deeply traumatic and horrible experience, and you don’t get to choose whether someone has to go through that just because of your own personal views. EDIT 2: Punishment for “obstructing a highway” is now much more severe than it was, and obstructing “vehicular access to the Parliamentary Estate” (aka the Houses of Parliament) as well as ‘Key National Infrastructure’ is now illegal, so be extra cautious now.

Getting Kettled: This is more of a police tactic than a protestor one, since you actually want to avoid being kettled at all costs, as it almost always completely neuters a protest. “Kettling” is when the police surround a crowd completely and force them into a small space. It’s usually either used to demoralise a crowd so they’ll stop fighting, or to antagonise a crowd that the police want to get rid of so that they have an excuse to use force. People can get pretty badly hurt in kettles, not only from direct police force, but also from kettles lasting late into the night (one in Whitehall on June 7th lasted until at least 1am) and people becoming dehydrated, exhausted, or going without medication for long periods of time. Kettles are not invincible though! If you can’t avoid getting trapped in one, the key to which is to remain mobile and aware, then breaking out of one can and has been done. It massively helps to have other protestors on the outside, who escaped kettling, as they can help you to surround the police, after which they almost always retreat, or to break through police lines in order to allow those in the kettle to escape through the gap. It is also possible for people inside the kettle to do the same thing, but is much harder as the police will be able to watch and pre-empt almost any attempt to escape from within. Generally though, it is better to learn how to avoid getting kettled in the first place, and to look out for natural choke points etc. It can actually be helpful sometimes to take a look at a map of the area you’ll be around in advance, so you know this stuff beforehand (or be like me, and just know Central London like the back of your hand because you’ve been doing this for almost a decade). It is also worth saying that as of this article being written (June 2020) you are not legally required to give any personal details to the police in order to be released from a kettle, although they will almost always try to persuade you to do so before releasing you. Hopefully, you will be kettled alongside some Legal Observers who will be able to help make sure everyone inside the kettle is aware of this. For more information please refer to this NetPol article on kettling.

After The Action

This is a later addition as a section, since I noticed people often aren’t sure what to do to help support people after an action, or will make (minor!) mistakes in post-action stuff. This is more about after everyone has left properly, and is not concerned with things around de-blocing (which I have already mentioned above) or getting away safely.

Arrestee/Police Station Support: Firstly, visit the Green and Black Cross website for a detailed guide on how to do Police Station Support here. It is explained in more detail and better than I ever could there. Otherwise, read on.

Before you start, you’re going to need to bring some stuff with you. Broadly, this is fairly similar to what you would bring to a demonstration. Food, water, sun cream if it’s hot, warm clothes if it isn’t, a phone charger. I’ll also recommend the RAISED leaflets made by Queercare, as they are very useful for mental health support. I also really like to bring along a camping chair and maybe a couple cans, since you can be there for a pretty long time sometimes, but bear in mind you will be directly outside a police station, so be cautious.

You should also always work with other people while doing support. Thankfully, it’s fairly common for people to do arrestee support in groups nowadays, and there is almost always a co-ordinating group arranging support after a significant action, so contact GBC or a local support group to get into that on your way to the station and to make sure they know you’re doing support. You should have contact details for a support group on that bust card which you definitely picked up off a Legal Observer earlier, right? You should work in shifts while doing support, as support can be needed outside a station for pretty long periods of time, until everyone has been confirmed to have been released, and you don’t want the people doing the supporting to get exhausted themselves. Anyway, onto guidance for once you’re there:

You’re there to help people who are being released after being arrested. People often have had a traumatic or upsetting time, and need emotional support, help getting home, or just something to eat. You are also there to help gather the information of anyone who has been arrested so that they can be supported further down the line, which will be shared with solicitors, legal support groups, etc.

You can talk to the station staff! Some of the time, the staff will be perfectly nice and polite to you, and will help you out by giving you details of who is being held, if they are being charged, and potentially release times.

Chat to people directly supporting individual arrestees. This usually means solicitors, who should be made aware of who you are and what you’re doing, but if the arrestee is under-18 or considered ‘vulnerable’ then it will also mean an Appropriate Adult, often a parent or someone responsible for them in some way.

When someone is released, you should be ready to help them out, that’s literally why you’re there. This is when you can give them food or drink if they need it, and physical or mental health help and first aid support if you are able to. Definitely read the GBC guide for more info on this and how to ensure support is ongoing after their release.

Posting, Social Media, and Photos It is extremely important to be very aware of what you post and where after an action. While some people will (reasonably so) say that you should absolutely not take pictures of people participating in an action, the next best thing you can is to make sure that any pictures are scrubbed clean of any possibly identifying EXIF metadata (these could be things like location, or unique hardware information about the device used to take the picture), and any identifying characteristics in pictures blurred or, ideally, blacked out. There are some online tools which can be used to do this. I personally tend to use everest pipkin’s tool, but some metadata can also be removed by sending the image over Signal. I am aware that it may seem overkill to further anonymise people who are already wearing masks and hiding their identities in other ways, but there is a difference between looking anonymous enough to plausibly make your identity questionable in place at an action, and looking anonymous enough to stand up to detailed scrutiny in an image or video. This is especially the case as Fascist and/or ‘Gender Critical’ (same thing) groups and individuals have used images from protests to identify and harass people in the past.

Similar caution should be used around more general posting. It is important to keep things anonymous and reasonably deniable. That said - report-backs, summaries, communiques, and writeups of actions are incredibly useful, and should be encouraged, for the purposes of both agitprop and discussion. Read some existing report-backs or communiques to get an idea of a good format and what an anonymous and deniable writeup looks like, and get your mates to contribute! It can be quite fun in all honesty, and other people might even learn from your mistakes.

This covers everything that I think should be known before engaging in protesting in the UK, and some of the knowledge I’ve gained from my experience. I hope this has helped anyone who reads it to feel more confident going out into the streets, and has maybe dispelled some myths which are sometimes spread around protesting. Good luck everyone.

[donnerpartyofone]

I once found myself foolishly complaining to my old therapist about some deeply unsatisfying exchange I had on tumblr with somebody who had willfully misconstrued what I said and was going after me about what they decided I meant, just because that was what they would rather talk about. You know, the usual. My therapist threw me off my game by just asking my why I post here to begin with, instead of indulging my desire to passionately bitch and moan. She seemed very skeptical about whatever I said, I had the idea that she wanted me to admit that I was either looking for a fight, or attention, or validation from a bad source where I am destined to encounter a lot of friction. (Man o man, if only she knew about the absolutely bonkers and irrational "you are valid" culture we have here...) And I mean, she's right, you ARE destined to encounter a lot of friction on tumblr if you do anything remotely personal with it, but somehow that annoyance can be outweighed by

a) the internal satisfaction of putting your thoughts in order

b) the catharsis of venting, even into the void

c) the small but unignorable possibility that someone will deeply understand what you said, or have something relevant and provocative to add based on their own unique and valuable experience/expertise.

I think about turning off replies all the time now, quite a lot of the time there's someone being rude either on purpose or inadvertently, because they're too obtuse or thoughtless to consider the implications or real usefulness of what they are saying. Sometimes I think about turning off reblogs on everything too, and I'm trying to develop the habit of stopping before I post to ask myself, every single time, how I'm going to feel when some total cretin reblogs something that is obviously either not universally applicable (e.g. just personal in-the-moment venting) or actually not their business (discussion of personal tragedy that you'd think people would have the good sense to leave alone, like just let strangers who need to talk about something do so in peace?). All of these things have happened more and more lately, and I think what would be really great for me is if I developed a much tougher hide, if I developed a mental baleen that filters out all the shit I don't need to care about and lets in all the tasty, nutritious stuff that I'm actually here for, that I like so much that it makes all the chaff totally worth it.

My problem is that I don't have that natural thing that tells you what incoming stimulus is relevant and what you can completely ignore, I'm curious about EVERYTHING especially how other people think and behave. When I hear something insulting or idiotic directed at me I immediately start processing it like it's a mystery that it is my duty to unravel, instead of casually throwing it in the trash like I should. This morning I posted about how I was reminded of a personal tragedy by some stupid thing a business did to me, and I get this complete stranger unloading his own version of that tragedy, only to then condemn me morally for my interaction with the business. Like does he think I'm going to be so humbled by his "direct action" that it's going to change the world? What was the goal besides picking a fight before the sun is all the way up in the sky? Yesterday I posted links to a bunch of film scholarship I published along with some new blu ray releases, literally calling it my life's work, and somebody reblogged it and put in the tags that they don't like one of the movies and they don't know what the other two are. So...what was the point here? Are you planning on buying two expensive collector's editions of movies you don't know by a director you don't like? I mean thanks for promoting my work, I guess if the price of your sponsorship is that you say rude, pointless things that don't mean anything to anyone, then I'll take it? It might have a positive impact on my mental health if I turned off replies and reblogs universally, but then I wouldn't get to hear from any of the smart and nice guys I've met on here who have opened my eyes to all sorts of things. So yeah my Christmas wish or New Year's resolution or whatever is to give a shit much, much more selectively, for the rest of my life.

PS Regarding disagreements on the internet: There is an important qualitative difference between someone saying something you find disagreeable on their own blog, which you don't even have to be aware of if you don't want to, and someone going out of their away to like cross into your yard to start a fight about what's on your blog ~as if~ you had called them on the phone and said it directly to them personally. Most of what you see on the internet doesn't require your input at all, if you don't really have anything to add except your own emotional content. The difference: Learn it, know it, live it!