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#so now my spiralling is public :3
uhohbestie · 3 months
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I'm supposed to be outlining the last several chapters of TAMN, but all I can think about is how in Hermitcraft Scar offered to share ownership of the Sand permit with Grian so that they could both hold a monopoly on sand, I'm gonna be so sick I'm gonna be so ill why would they do this to me they're never gonna leave that desert and NEITHER WILL I OTL
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roysspaghettiarm · 2 months
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You literally only do Roy drawings and I couldn't thank you more. You're literally an angel and you deserve your pillow to be the right amount of chilly this night
Thank you :3
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I draw Roy!! There are no words I could possibly use to describe how much of an inspiration he is to me, and how much he means to me, and I can only hope that it at least partially shows through my art 🥺
I would have never gotten where I am, and certainly wouldn't be who I am now, without him. He inspired me to create more, and to improve, and, really, I owe him my life. Roy is the best!!
I hope drawing Roy the most is what I get to be remembered by forever 😊
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mejomonster · 9 months
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Ridiculously depressed but I am running ragged (which is surely worsening the depression ToT) so like the idea of weekly therapy to further exhaust me and trigger the anxiety more doesn't sound super compatible
#rant#like. i havent eaten in 6 days im fucking miserable amd on edge. my gi issues are FUCKED right now#so i cant eat and im desperate To eat asap so i really hope my gi issues improve soon jesus fucking christ#anyway... on top of that which... homestly on its own is enough to destroy me emotilnally and exhaust me....#i also am intensely deptessed a friend has like 5 crushes 4 dating options#i looked up advice today! oh no the spiral! i am considering paying money for a matchmaking service just so i can hate myself more i guess#when even that fails. i havent had a crush in 5 years either. i had like 3 crushes BUT they were married or aro#so i stopped my crush. so basically no crush on available for relationships peolle in half a decade. k feel broken#i looked up how to develop crushes today. google amd youtube apparently think its so rare to Not crush that theres no fucking advice#and then on top of it i have regular run of the mill anxiety. where i disassociate if im in public or around strangers.#which helps Me cope and i Feel great. as in not scared. but it means i dont talk well to strangers.#i try to. but i barely know what im saying and i dont see anyone i see them vaguely then block it out. and thats how i handle public.#and if i can manage to be present i need enough of a crowd i can hide. and if i see an attractive person i look away#cause i turn red and cant breathe. and im chicken i guess. so ur supposed to LOCK EYES with hot strangers and stare. but i need to PRACTICE#and then i also need to practice just. MAKING myself go places that make my anxiety shoot up horribly#and just sit and make myself stare at random peoplr and touch my skin and make myself endure being present.#then i have to do the same thing in public places i Like (which makes me more anxioud and in the past often resulted in panic attacks then#suicide attempts and self harm during said pamic attacks) so im not like super hype to endure that#and id rather endure it WHEN MY HEALTH IS SOLID ENOUGH I CAN EAT#because currently? me hungty? me in immense pain? even non anxiety inducing situatilns are shooting my stress level through the roof.#spilling coffee right now is making me feel like dying. just cayse im hungry and exhausted. i want to work up to 1. gi tract DIGESTING FOOD#PLEASE GOD SOON. 2. my back doesnt hurt so bad so i can STAND in public#3 stand in a nonthreatening public place like a bookstore or grocery store and stare at people#4 stand in nonthreatening place and stare at Hot people#5 attempt to enter a place in public i LIKE A LOT like a local hobby club. attempt for an hour if needed#call it a win if i make it to the doorway befote the panic attack hits. 6 attempt again at least standing IN FRONT of building 5 minutes#7 attempt again and maybr peak in and use bathroom so i can leave if im scared. 8 attempt again to enter building and maybe finally join#event i want to join. 8 attempt looking people in the eyes and remaining present at Location i like.#9 attempt looking pretty people In The Eye. 10 attempt saying hi i like your X#11 attempt conversation (if i got through all prior steps). which. this anxiety work could take 3-4 months minimum
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hearties-circus · 1 year
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I cant keep up with this
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buckyysdoll · 1 year
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— 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐜𝐬 | 𝐩𝟏/𝟐, 𝐩𝟐 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 —
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જ⁀➴ — summary: self explanatory; a/n: just had to purge this from my heart <3; cw: none, but i am about to cry because i love him and it’s making me spiral !; pairing: fatws! bucky x f!reader
MAIN MASTERLIST
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• bucky will always want to touch you in some way, whether in public or the privacy of the apartment you two share
• you’ll often lay just flush against him, all your weight atop his own, as you watch the telly at night or you both just need the warmth of the other
• close enough that you’re sharing breathing space, can bury your face in the crook of his neck and just breathe in his scent, feel his warmth, feel his body.
• and when his arms rove up and down your back in soothing strokes, and he’s whispering words of praise with kisses to your temple, to your forehead as he does? this man is more than your home; he’s more than any love that you’d known your whole life.
• basically, just think of the gif set that i reblogged earlier today — bucky making grab hands as he opens up his arms, waiting for you to come in to the softness of his sweater, and to the man that you would die just to grow old with (makes no sense but is poetic??)
• he fucking adored it when you fell asleep in his arms on that couch; even as husband and wife, those date nights never get old when they end with his arms close around you, both sleepy
• the sound of your breathing just grounds him, so he tries to wait until you fall asleep before he does
• but there are times after a mission where he’s deliriously tired, and mumbles something intelligible about how he’s “gotta wait…can’t sleep yet.”
• but then he promptly does, bless his heart — so you watch him.
• because typically while you succumb to your rest, he would’ve pulled you in to him so he could feel you in his arms
• just the feel of skin on skin, your scent — it’s home to him, his comfort
• because though the world still sees him as the deadly Winter Soldier, he’s really just a man who’s starved of touch — or was till you. He’s only his girl’s husband who plainly adores her, loves sleeping beside her
• because now you do just that with your head to his heartbeat, your favourite sound. and his unchanged hand will card its way through your hair, and play with the strands as he talks. he’ll tell you stories of life in the 40s in a voice growing lower and more husked with fatigue, knowing that you love to hear of his life just as much as his voice.
• because truly it calms you, grounds you, and carves out a safe space you wish you could live in.
• in this though, he won’t ever use his other arm, because the feel of you is all the craves to know — that skin on skin
• he wonders at the way that your body softens under his touch as though you truly so feel safe despite his past, the blood on his hands.
• the hands that after all this time still don’t feel worthy to touch you
• but god, your love is just so soft that you’ll both be all whispers and laughter. sweet nothings are voiced in your ear with his breath just so warm, just so close, and you love him. he’s so teasing and just so comfortable with you, that his nights with you like this are all he could wish for
• you’re his reason for waking each day
• and it’s that kind of love where you wake up in the night and he’ll still be touching you somehow, and no matter how your joint positions shift in throes of sleep, he’s always still holding you by the time you both wake up — a hand held, or an arm around you somewhere
• and so the way he wakes you up is divine.
• it’s him tracing your skin with his fingertips, and marvelling in silence at you as his wife. bonus points for your first night together as a married couple after your wedding, if on the morning after he presses soft kisses your body and says in that low sleep-fogged voice, “good morning, mrs. barnes.”
• because he loves to wake you up like that, with soft touches tracing shapes or brushing hair back from your face. with your upper body bare from the night before’s lovemaking, and your back to his chest with his arm around your waist, bucky’ll lean up on an elbow and press slow kisses to the bare skin of your shoulder; peppering your neck and face with those light little touches, until your eyelids part on his contented, lazy smile against your skin
• the very smile you’d both live and die for
• bucky is definitely that type of husband that instantly stirs awake when you shift in bed, and he’s whining into the crook of your neck with a groan, saying “love, where are you going?”
• and even when you say laugh and say “to the toilet”, he’ll still try to pull you back.
• which he also does in the morning. an alarm goes off and you think of getting up? that vibranium arm around your waist isn’t letting you anywhere — but where else would you want to be, anyway?
• and god, it’s just so warm in his arms. especially on those dark autumn mornings when it’s cold? lazy sundays spent in bed all day with him make your past somehow worth it
• even though he’s a super soldier and has an very high tolerance to alcohol, that doesn’t mean that date nights where you’re both wine drunk don’t leave you all giggly in bed. and god, it’s just like you’re teenagers in love, and not adults who’ve been through hell and back to find each other now.
• bucky definitely does the cold feet on your leg thing in bed, cos your squeal of dismay and surprise makes him laugh so damn hard, even as you lightly swat him
• bucky wakes up in the morning and reaches across the bed for you instantly, that is if you’re not already in his arms. it’s like the first instinct within him.
• and if he wakes up first like he usually does his eyes will threaten tears as he just looks at you. as he sees you — you his wife. You who are the absolute love of his life, and his best friend in one. and try though he may to be stoic to the world, these mornings bring a lump to his throat cos he loves you more than any other person in the world
• he’s just very touchy and clingy, and so are you for him; you love it, you just love him — you live for his sleep-drunk, tired touches
• even if he knows with those super soldier senses that you often are faking still being asleep just to feel those small early affections
• will add more if i think of more? or will make a part two (linked at top) <;3
✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪
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chloessleepystories · 9 months
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Rabbit Hole
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Based on a true story
Zoe was slumped down in the back row of the classroom, scrolling through Tumblr on her phone instead of paying attention to the teacher. Like usual.
Oh, here’s a sexy picture to share. Here’s a gif to attach a few lines of dialogue to… She liked teasing the boys (and girls) online, and they liked teasing her. Especially when she was in class and couldn’t do anything about her rising horniness.
Oooh, a hypno story, her favorite. She checked that the teacher was droning on, and not looking her direction, and started reading. Just a couple paragraphs in, she knew it was a good one. She reblogged it to finish reading later, and to share it with her followers (her many, many followers… how had that happened?) and kept scrolling. Ooh! A spiral! Don’t get distracted… But uunnnfff, so easy to get distracted… to get drawn in…
She shook herself, sharing the spiral with a drooling smiley face, and moved on.
“I’m a little concerned, looking at your last batch of papers, that so many of you got to college without apparently learning how to punctuate a simple compound sentence, much less to fill it with original thoughts…” Miss Thompson was saying.
Zoe squeezed her thighs together, feeling the arousal spread through her body. She looked around. Nobody looking. Good. She knew she should be listening, should be taking notes, but all she could think about was her needy pussy.
The constant alerts from her phone kept drawing her back to the glowing rectangle in her hand. BUZZ. Another favorite blog had just shared something, Tumblr wanted her to know. BUZZ. Someone was tagging her in a pic of one of her favorite porn stars. BUZZ… 
She was powerless. She had to look, every time the phone buzzed. Every time Tumblr fed her more. She didn’t used to be like this, did she? She used to have, like, an attention span and stuff? Could leave her phone alone for a few hours? Now she was addicted… like she had conditioned herself to salivate at the buzzer. 
Or been conditioned, came a whisper. 
Been brainwashed. 
Cuntwashed.
Drippy cunt. Salivating pussy…
BUZZ. 
Ooh! a hot little gif that someone wanted her to see – “wanna ride me like this?” he asked, adding Zoe’s handle. Where was the teacher? Zoe knew she should scan for Miss Thompson again, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away.
BUZZ BUZZ. Three more guys wanting to talk to her privately. She was already keeping four conversations going…
This one, for instance, was telling her, in detail, what he would be doing to her if they were in a hotel room together right now. She was giving as well as she was getting, egging him on, hoping he was stroking to her words the way she wished she could be rubbing to his. This one was begging her to punish him, and reveling in her attempts to be domineering. And this one… oh, this one kept sending spirals, and inductive texts, drawing her ever downward (or trying to), making her sleepy, making her horny… making her a mindnumbed cockslave…
She tapped the little pencil symbol to make a public post.
“You guys are making me so horny!!!” she typed.
I’m supposed to be paying attention to the teacher right now but my tumblr feed is full of porn and 3 of you fuckers are having hot conversations with me trying to make me horny and IT’S FUCKING WORKING I’m sure my neighbors can smell me I’m so turned on I can feel how drippy I am goddammit I need to stroke I’m not gonna make it
That was a mistake, of course. As she knew it would be. The sharks smelled blood in the water, and circled.
“Just keep watching little slave. Soon you’ll be my little cock hungry whore”
“It’s just so nice to be able to turn off your brain for a while, ya know? Join me?”
“And when I say “horny bunny” you’ll have a powerful urge…”
“Mmm damn what a view! Your nice tight pussy wrapped around my cock feels so damn good. I’m going to enjoy fucking you hard, bottoming out hitting your womb”
“…And then one day you wake up and you’re an empty headed pink bimbo, with no thoughts in your dumb bimbo head but getting bigger tits and pleasing your Mistress’s pussy…”
Another public post:
Ogod now ur all piling on cumming our of the woodwork why csnt i turn off this app why do i keep lookin im not gonna make it im such a dumb hotny cow 
Sent.
And back to messaging, the words pummeling her brain –
Blank. Obedient. Responsive. Counting from 10. Letting your mind slide away. Relaxed. Empty. No thoughts. 8. Letting go….
Then, even before she could register the shadow over her desk, a hand snatched the phone from her fingers.
“You know the rules about phones in my class, Zoe,” said Miss Thompson. Zoe made a choked whimper, her fingers mindlessly twitching after the phone.
“You can get it back later. If you’re good.”
If you’re good. If you’re a good girl. Good girls obey.
Zoe whimpered again, as Miss Thompson walked away. She was going to have to sprint to the ladies’ room when class was over. The phone would have to wait. Her clit was throbbing… and she needed to obey.
*****
Later, after everyone had filed out, Miss Thompson carefully and (BUZZ) meticulously wiped clean the blackboard. She liked the board to be as neat (BUZZ) and tidy as her desk.
(BUZZ)
What on earth was – Oh. Right. That girl’s phone was still on the desk. Vibrating away, for some unknown reason.
She sat down and picked it up, turning it on. Silly child didn’t seem to have a lock on the –
A rainbow of porn leapt out of the screen and slapped Miss Thompson about the face.
Cocks going into young women’s mouths. A girl’s tongue on a pussy. “Zoe, are you still there?” Breasts, so many breasts. “Zoe, girl, look how hard you made me…” A maelstrom of dark and light flesh that she couldn’t make sense of for a moment, until she saw the caption “gangbanged fuckslut made airtight with BBC”… which, to be frank, didn’t ENTIRELY explain the picture to Miss Thompson, but it let her figure out what some of the shapes were…
Horrified, repulsed, Miss Thompson started scrolling. And couldn’t stop scrolling. Stories of incest and bondage. Lewd photos and gifs, scenes of decadence and degradation. She shook her head, her mouth open, but she couldn’t stop…
And the hypnosis. Over and over in the girl’s feed, the hypnosis! Glassy eyed girls with drooping mouths, baring their breasts… Women with spirals in their eyes, and cocks in their mouths… Flashing gifs with pictures and words, too fast to follow, telling her how she should be, how she must be, how she knew she already was, if she would just admit it to herself… Inductions, and fantasies, and more spirals, and submissive, drooling women, eager to serve cock, to serve pussy, to become slaves to their own needy cunts…
Miss Thompson hadn’t noticed how hard her nipples had gotten. She hadn’t noticed how wet her own cunt was, until she found herself dipping in a finger… She bucked against her hand, but didn’t stop stroking… just kept scrolling… 
Someone calling himself Master of Mystery – except with some of the letters replaced by numbers – BUZZed into a private message. “Getting pretty horny, Zoe? Pretty needy and desperate?”
“No,” she found herself typing. “I mean, no, I’m – I’m not… No.”
“Oh, you certainly sounded pretty desperate to me. You sounded like a little slut who needed permission to cum… A naughty fucktoy who can’t stop touching her princess parts even though she’s not supposed to…”
Miss Thompson bit her lip and with an effort pulled her hand away from her pussy. “I’m not Zoe. I am Miss Thompson, her teacher,” she typed.
She tried to pull herself together.
“And you should keep a civil tongue in your head, young man.”
“Ohhh! Naughty, naughty, teacher… Are you looking through a confiscated phone? And getting TURNED ON by someone else’s Tumblr porn? You are, aren’t you… Go ahead, you can admit it…”
“i” she typed and sent by mistake.
She cursed.
“I will do no such thing. I am… I am putting the phone down now.”
“No you’re not.”
She hesitated. He seemed so sure. She waited, panting.
“You won’t, because you would have already without saying anything. You would have before you got so horny scrolling through her feed.”
She didn’t say anything.
“Because you are horny, aren’t you? All pent-up, tied up in knots…”
“Yes, yes, I am, OK, but there’s nothing wrong with that”
“No, not at all. Tell you what. You seem tense. Let me help you relax. Can we do that?”
“Um”
“Just focus on your shoulders for a second. Feel how tight they are? Tighten them up even more, just for a second. Take a deep breath in. And then let it out, and as you do, feel all the tension go out of your shoulders…”
“what”
“Sshh shh you don’t have to say anything just listen. I’m going to count, and with each number you’re going to release a little tension, and it’s going to turn into warmth… warmth spreading through your body… 
“And then maybe we’ll look at a spiral together for a while… You’ll like that…”
*****
Zoe was feeling SO much better – though her legs were still a little wobbly – as she walked toward the classroom door. She couldn’t believe she’d left her phone behind! She hoped she could get it back quietly, without much fuss. There didn’t seem to be a class in there now. Maybe she could just slip in and grab it?
She eased the door open gently… and then almost dropped her backpack in surprise.
Miss Thompson was sprawled, nearly nude, in her wooden rolling chair! Her skirt was bunched around her middle, panties on the floor, white blouse and bra tangled on her desk. Most surprising of all, one hand was operating Zoe’s phone, and the other hand was operating Miss Thompson’s bushy cunt!
She stepped closer, sliding the backpack gently to the floor. The teacher’s breathing was ragged, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glassy… and sure enough, Zoe could see a spiral on the glowing screen. She tiptoed close enough to read over her shoulder.
You want to watch
To let the spiral suck you in
To let my spiral suck away all resistance
You want to become mindless for me, because it feels so good to stop thinking
Each word you read will bring you pleasure, and each second you spend watching will make you sink deeper and deeper, until you can’t help but obey…
She reached around her teacher’s body, and cupped both breasts at once.
Miss Thompson gasped, and then relaxed with a moan as Zoe began kneading her nipples.
“How are you doing, miss?” she whispered.
“Can’t… Can’t cum. Need to… but don’t… don’t have permission…”
“Mmmm.” Zoe tweaked her nipples, massaging her surprisingly full and warm tits. “I know it’s a lot to handle if you’re not used to it. I’ve been sliding into this rabbit hole a bit at a time for months, so I’ve built up a liiiittle bit of an immunity.” Partially true, anyway. “But my feed and my followers must have hit you like a ton of bricks.” 
Zoe giggled to herself, as her teacher panted.
“Who are you talking to,” Zoe murmured.
“M-Master of Mystery,” Miss Thompson gasped, her back arching.
Ah yes, thought Zoe. Also known as Kevin.
“Tell him I’m here. And ask him what I should do to you.”
“Master…” Miss Thompson typed, and after a moment, responded.
“He says to get on your knees and lick my s-slutty, juicy c… cunt.”
Zoe smiled. “That’s what I was hoping he was going to say,” she murmured as she knelt.
After all, she thought. Good girls obey.
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0san-ta0 · 1 month
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Late Night Missing You
synopsis ★ whilst arthur is off on a trip you start feeling lonely and resort to some unconventional methods of entertainment
pairing ★ fem!reader x arthur fredrick (arthurtv) author's notes ★ this is my first time writing an actual fic so it might be kinda shitty! feedback and tips are appreciated!! and i hope you enjoy!! <33 (NOT PROOFREAD)
arthur had been in sri lanka with chip and the boys for almost a week. although to you it felt way longer than that. sure, the facetimes, texts and voice notes were great but you couldn't help it as the loneliness had started creeping in by day 3. your usual daily routine had shifted slightly but your mind couldn't keep up, cooking enough for two or sitting on the couch waiting for arthur to walk through the door. your mood had been in the trenches and sitting alone in your apartment wasn't helping. you didn't want to bother your other friends this late at night. so you decided to have an impromptu stream, talking with the random people on your computer and drinking was sure to cheer you up.
you sat in front of your computer, a random video playing on your screen. you dared your chat that they coudn't send in a video to make you laugh, but if you did laugh that you'd take a shot. it had been about an hour of watching the most unhinged and random tiktoks and you were loosing horribly. a video of a young girl running into a wall flashed across the screen, sending you spiralling into a fit of laughter once again. maybe you felt bad about laughing but your sense of humour was wrecked at this point and coupled with the alcohol any odd video had you wheezing and reaching for the bottle of Bailey's infront of you.
"chat I swear I didn't mean too that doesn't count. i'm not taking a shot! at this rate i'll die of alcohol poisoning before midnight."
the comments started flowing in a majority of them about your new found adventurism, the other half was wondering where arthur was that he isn't supervising you. it was strange that he wasn't hovering in the background making sure you stayed hydrated or preparing your shots when he knew you for a fact that you were gonna laugh. your eyes glossed over the arthur comments trying not to let your mood shift too much, choosing to focus on the funnier comments.
"lilia284 thank you for the sub! and guys arthur is out of the country so..." you trailed off as the comments started on another tangent about where arthur was exactly.
"I can't tell you guys that but when it's released I'm sure you'll all be grateful for the lack of spoilers. now back to the videos and please no more children getting hurt I don't need to be clipped half drunk laughing at children. that's not good for my public image." then the topic switched to your most outrageous moments and you felt that you had successfully evaded the arthur topic and got your emotions in check.
restarting the video, it started with a man running and slipping down the stairs. your headphones playing at almost full volume you failed to hear the sound of the front door clicking open. filming had finished early and arthur wanted nothing more than to go home and lay in bed with you. walking into your shared apartment he looked around, searching for any sign of you before putting his suitcase down next to the door.
"y/n?" he called softly walking down the hall, poking his head into your dark bedroom before turning finding the light coming from your office door. he looked at the door and raised his eyebrows, you usually didn't stream this late perhaps you were doing some work.
then your voice came through, "this isn't fair that was a giggle, I don't deserve to drink for that you people just hate me!"
he stood outside the door confusion evident on his face, he took his phone from his pocket opening twitch. low and behold there you were front and center of his following page. he clicked the icon, just in time to see you poor a shot of Bailey's and down it.
another giggle escaped you lips as you placed the glass down on your desk, a smile making it's way to your lips. at this point you were more than buzzed and you could admit that comfortably. you turned to read off your donations and arthur saw his chance. he opened the chat and sent a 5 dollar donation to be read aloud.
'arthurtv $5 so this is what you do when I leave? I thought we got drunk together?'
your back stiffened slightly as you heard his name, you cleared you thought and smiled at the camera. "hi sweetheart!!" you waved at the camera and from outside arthur stood there smiling for a moment.
"I hope you're having fun and I miss you!" you mumbled, a pout making it's way to your face. then another donation came through.
'arthurtv $5 well if you really missed me you'd come outside!'
your eyebrows knit together as you look between the door and her stream then back to the door. your chat started flooding with messages about going to get your man and a lot of comments along those lines. you said a quick goodbye to your stream before shutting down your PC and turning to the door. arthur stood outside waiting for you to open it, a few moments passed before the door was flung open. you stood Infront of him a stupid smile on your face as you flung yourself into his arms.
"arthur I freaking missed you so much!" he laughed softly, running a hand along your back.
"so you chose to get drunk online?" he questioned raising an eyebrow.
"it was a better idea than laying on the floor and crying."
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onlyhuis · 1 year
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april 20th: pot luck
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member — fwb!chan x f reader genre — smut, fwb to lovers word count — 3.2k synopsis — you're no stranger to smoking in the park on 4/20, but smoking in the park while chan begs you to let him make you cum? that's new. content warnings — marijuana use (smoking), there's angst for like 3 seconds but not really smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, oral (reader receiving), fingering, sexual acts in a semi-public setting (they're in a secluded area of a park), sexual acts while high, shotgunning, chan is clingy & cute when he's high :) disclaimer — this story is a work of fiction. both chan and reader are portrayed as consenting adults above the legal age of 21. always make sure your partner is someone you trust and have talked with beforehand while sober. remember to practice safe, consensual sex! notes — requested by @angelwoozi 🧸!! this concept is going to sit in my brain forever now agsdjkfahsd i hope you like it! also tagging @bitchlessdino because it would be a sin if i didn't. happy 420!
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you hold the pre-rolled joint between your fingers, watching the way the thin smoke spirals off the end of it. chan holds out his hand as you exhale, and you pass it back to him for him to take his turn.
it's the secluded end of the park, where the trees are thicker and shadier and the grass is always a little bit damp, even during hot summer afternoons. a cool breeze blows today, and distantly you can hear birds chirping and the shuffling footfalls of joggers making their way around the park's running paths.
you lay back, settling down on top of the worn, quilted picnic blanket you keep in your car. for the first time in a while the weather's been nice enough to draw you outside, spring gradually melting into summer.
he holds the joint out towards you but you wave him off, so he sets it at the edge of his ashtray, the little yellow painted one you made him for his birthday in a ceramics class from a few semesters ago.
chan leans back too, propping himself up on one elbow as he reaches for his water bottle absently.
laying on your back, you can see each leaf on the tree, and when the wind blows you can see bits of blue sky peeking through the swaying branches. you hear chan call your name, but you ignore him, just wanting to watch the world go by for a moment. or maybe, you just pretended to hear him call your name. you seem to do that a lot recently, imagining him doing things until you aren't sure what's real or dreamed.
ever since new year's eve when you accidentally on-purpose slept with him and then maybe kept sleeping with him for months afterward, nothing's been the same. despite the fact that you definitely like him as more than just a friend you have sex with, you’ve never talked about it with him because he seems more than fine with keeping things simple; you wish he didn’t, but you don’t want to push him, so you just stick to having sex and sharing your weed.
it turns out him calling your name was, in fact, real, because a few seconds later you see his figure looming over you, blocking your view of the leaves and the sky.
your words come out lilted. "what is it, chan?"
"can i eat you out?"
you blink slowly a few times, thinking and processing his sentence and repeating it in your head so many times until you'd forgotten what he'd actually said.
"eating what? we had tacos earlier. i’ll make you a sandwich or something when we go back, i told you you should’ve brought more snacks to munch on."
“noooooo.” he whines and flops down onto the blanket on his side. "wanna eat you," he grumbles. his fingers find your arm and begin drawing shapes and patterns along your skin as he waits for your response.
it finally clicks in your mind what he's asking, and with much effort you roll your head over to look at him. "why?"
"because it's a nice day outside," he says, fingers trailing down to your wrist. "and i like it. oh my god, you're so hot. like… woah. why wouldn't i want to?"
your heart jumps, and you can't tell if it's completely from his words or mixed with how stoned you are, but you feel so happy. he sounds almost affectionate.
you shift your legs, your pants starting to grow uncomfortable the more you begin to think about chan between your thighs. it's a sight you're familiar with, but one you can never quite seem to get used to.
you throw your arm over your head, tugging gently at the cool grass beneath your fingertips to ground you to earth. "but there's sooo many people out, chan," you say, a little more giddy than you intend. "you’re too high. somebody'll see."
he closes his eyes slowly and furrows his brow, thinking deeply.
"put your bag here, then," he says finally, rolling over onto his stomach to grab your tote bag from the edge of the blanket and haul it over to your hip. it was a good idea in theory, but in reality it barely covers a tiny part of your body, and it would only be effective at blocking his head from onlookers at a very specific angle.
his fingers brush over your thigh on accident, and you sigh, legs parting just slightly. chan doesn't seem to notice, though; he's latched himself to your arm again, tracing his name across your skin over and over like a kindergartener learning to write their name for the first time.
"you really want to?" you ask, peering over at him through foggy eyes but grinning when you see him now focused on the tiny hairs on your arm.
"yes, please," he hums, and he starts kissing the inside of your elbow along your forearm. his lips are warm and so, so soft, it feels like rays of sunshine tickling your skin. until he opens his mouth and he starts gnawing on you, biting gently at your arm.
you swat at the back of his head, and then once more, laughing at how silly he is. silly feels like the right word. silly how cute he is and silly how maybe you're a little bit in love with him.
"oka-ay," you say finally, tugging on his hair to get him to stop biting you. he rests his head on your stomach and gazes up at you with big, soft eyes, and you know there's nothing going on in his head right now. honestly, there's not much going on in yours either, but there's enough happening up there to know better than to not let him have what he wants.
you pull the bag closer to yourself and lift your hips, shifting your pants down just enough to expose the top of your thighs.
"don't let anybody see—" you start to say, but chan is already diving in. he shimmies down your body, positioning himself between your legs so that it would look like he's merely resting on top of you if anyone passing by were to steal a quick glance.
in your present state of mind, neither of you are quite as sneaky as you probably think. you can only pray no one walking around the park is paying much attention to their surroundings, though your spot is far enough away from the main paths that someone would have to be intentionally looking in order to find you.
one thing you know for sure is that chan is a messy eater. in the privacy of his apartment (or occasionally, yours) he'll spend hours between your legs, making out with your pussy until you're so exhausted and overstimulated that just the thought of another orgasm makes you shudder. usually he doesn't go that far, because at the end of it all he still wants to have his cock inside of you, but that doesn't ever stop him from making a complete mess of you anyways.
but to your surprise, when he kisses you over your underwear before pulling them down your hips, his lips are slow and gentle, like wading through water. you feel his fingers kneading your waist, and you realize belatedly that you've been tensed up. you'd been preparing for a fast, rough onslaught of pleasure but clearly chan has other plans today: taking his sweet time with you. and with how fuzzy your head feels right now, going slow is more than fine by you.
he flicks at your clit, laying his tongue flat and smoothing it over every inch of you before flicking again, and subconsciously you angle your hips upward, chasing his mouth. his spit covers your cunt, and when he moves his head back you can feel the breeze cooling the heat between your legs, sending a shiver up and down your spine.
you hear a shrill scream from behind you, and you tilt your neck back to see where the noise came from. upside down, you can see two kids distantly running around in the grass, playing a game.
you yank chan up by the back of his collar and pull your pants up as far as they'll go, ignoring the insane wedgie you've just given yourself as you scramble to look like you haven’t been doing anything suspicious.
you stay on your back, craning your head around to look at your surroundings. once you’re certain nobody’s around, your eyes settle on chan, who’s staring blankly back at you. his face glistens in the sunlight from the amount of wetness all over his face that he doesn't even seem to be aware of.
"wipe your mouth," you try to scold him, but the whole situation is suddenly so funny you can't help the laugh that comes out instead.
chan sits up, a little disoriented at first but he pushes through the clouds in his mind and finally brings his hand up to his face, swiping at his mouth once with the back of his hand. he looks around and he spies the ashtray with the half-smoked joint still sitting in it, and with a lazy grin he leans over to grab it, fumbling with his lighter to reignite it.
he takes a long, slow hit, and you're surprised he's not more out of breath from just having his face shoved in your pussy for what seemed like eternity.
he holds it out to you with a little grunt, and you finally find the energy to prop yourself up onto your elbows to take it from him. you inhale then breathe out a fine cloud of smoke as you pass it back to him, and he sets it back down, giggling to himself.
you smile, his laughter contagious with your already content mood. "what're you laughing at?"
he rolls his head around in a circle, staring off into the distance with a dopey grin on his face. "i… dunno," he answers finally, and he looks back at you, his eyes full of emotion you can't really understand fully.
"well, you almost got us caught, dummy," you tell him, an involuntary pout forming on your lips as you lay back down. "if you wanna have sex we should just go back to your apartment now."
"i don't want to," he whines, and you frown at him. he opens his mouth, stops and closes it again, then finally speaks, seemingly having gathered all his words together in the right order. "of course i always wanna have sex with you but right now i wanna make you cum first. like, right now, right now." he looks over at you again with those big, stupid, pretty eyes of his. "ple-ease?"
"but somebody might see again, channie. you can make me cum at home."
he shakes his head slowly. "but we still have to finish this, anyway," he protests, pointing at what's left of the joint.
you lose focus and stare off at the trees again, knowing he's right. you'll have to stay until it's out, then clean up your blanket and put away your stash, so it's not like you were gonna get home anytime soon then, right?
he turns towards you suddenly, his mouth half open like he's just thought of something crazy. he carefully transfers the joint to your hand, wrapping your fingers around the end of it. "how about i finger you, and you can hold this for me until you cum, and then we finish it and we go home and fuck. holding two birds with one stone."
you glance around, hoping nobody heard him loudly exclaim that he wants to finger you. you think about telling him to keep it down, or at least correct his attempt at a metaphor, but the words feel like too much effort and you're still weary from the almost-orgasm just a few minutes ago.
you stare at the object he had put in your hand for a second before you decide to take a drag, putting your other hand on chan's neck to pull him close so you can exhale the smoke into his lips.
clearly he wasn't expecting it, and he coughs a couple times, but he recovers and immediately goes in to kiss you again. he kisses you for so long it feels like he's never going to pull away, and when you do finally let go for a second it seems like he isn't even breathing.
he just sighs dreamily, his eyes still closed. "i love kissing you," he says, and the way he says it makes it sound so important.
you elbow him in the chest lightly to get his attention, and he lets out a little "oof!" and opens his eyes.
"hurry up so we can go home. i wanna suck your dick," you say, clearly deciding to let him have his way as you push your pants down once more.
his hand slides over your body, and the way he smiles when his two fingers make contact with your pussy gives you goosebumps. his touch feels heavenly, and you have to put all your focus on holding the joint upright so you don’t accidentally drop it. but it’s so hard to stay focused when you can feel his fingers so deep inside you, moving in and out and curling and scissoring and it drives you crazy.
at least in this new position, it’s not as obvious what you’re doing. with shaky hands you take another hit, a bigger one this time, trying to finish it as fast as you can so you can go home and not have to worry about being seen.
chan pushes a third finger into you and you hold back a whimper, wrinkling your nose in pleasure.
he opens and closes his mouth at you, and there’s a few seconds before your brain catches up and you realize he wants you to help him smoke while his hands are occupied. you carefully hold the joint up to his mouth and he wraps his lips around it.
the sight of him laying on his side, his hand cupping your cunt as you act like his personal helper is hotter than you expect it to be, and you clench around his fingers, heat burning in your abdomen.
he sucks in a sharp breath and leans his head away from your hand to cough again. “are you— close?” he asks once he’s recovered, his tone almost pouty. “you’re squeezing my hand so hard and now my dick hurts because i imagined fucking you instead.”
you sigh, leaning your head back against the blanket and letting your eyes close again, your hand propped up in the air. “yeah… i reeally wanna fuck you.”
he pries the joint out of your hand to take a hit by himself, then puts it back in your grip and moves his other hand to massage your breast over your shirt. you whine, not expecting it, and buck your hips up.
“fuck, chan– faster, please,” you mumble, your head swimming.
he puts his thumb to your clit and presses down, his fingers moving more roughly inside of you to draw you closer and closer. after a while you open your eyes, and you find him staring at you with such a sweet, empty look on his face, it makes you want to kiss him forever.
you pull him down on top of you and push your lips against his. your teeth clack with his but you don’t care, because you feel too good everywhere else to even pay attention to one little bad thing.
just like the way chan eats you out, he’s messy when he kisses you, and even more so when he’s high. you can taste yourself on his tongue and it makes you whine into him, the rest of the world falling away so that the only two people who exist in the entire world are you and him.
without warning you feel familiar waves wash over you and you practically go limp under him as your orgasm knocks the breath out of your lungs. he stills his fingers inside of you but continues to pet at your clit with his thumb as your walls spasm and contract around him.
when you start to regain some of what’s left of your senses you grab his hand to stop him, pulling him out of your aching pussy. he sighs and pushes his face into your chest, humming against your boobs.
caught up in the moment you hadn’t noticed when you’d dropped the joint, but luckily there was a god or some being out there in the universe that was on your side, because you’d dropped it directly onto the ashtray and not the blanket or the grass.
chan sits up and folds his legs cross-legged as he lights it one more time and hands it to you. there’s not much left of it by now, so it doesn’t take long for you both to finish it. your clothes stink of smoke and you’re a lot clumsier than usual, but you’re more content than you’ve been in a long time.
it’s not the first time you’ve had sex with him while high, but something feels different this time. maybe it was the way he clung to your arm walking back to his apartment, giggling with glee about how he couldn’t wait to have you all to himself. but it was probably more the fact that he told you he loved you right after you came and then proceeded to beg you to let him kiss you again.
of course you let him, your heart and your head soaring as you laid in the grass, casually making out for at least a quarter of an hour. you were in no rush to be anywhere, especially not when you had everything you wanted right here. and it seemed like he had everything he wanted, too: when you finally started to pack up your things to leave, he’d panickedly asked if you would stay with him.
“of course i’m staying,” you laughed, pushing him off of the blanket so you could fold it and put it away. “aren’t we going back to your place?”
“yeah, we are,” he said shyly, plucking a dandelion from the grass. “i meant like… all the time. i don’t wanna do this anymore.”
you looked at him, suddenly scared and a little confused at the sudden change from how excited he’d just been. “…you don’t want us anymore?”
he shook his head. “no, i want you! serious, like boyfriend and girlfriend! i want us to be us.” you don’t immediately respond, and he frowned.“you don’t want to?”
your eyes softened. “i do want to,” you smiled, crawling over to him to cup his cheeks in your hands. “i want to, very much.”
it would be a while before you finally made it back to chan’s apartment, but it was worth the wait. everything was worth the wait.
next year, when you sat in the same spot at the same park to spend your anniversary together, you joked that he had waited until april 20th to make it official because he’d wanted your anniversary to be on a funny date. but really you didn’t mind, because it just gave you more reasons to celebrate.
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letterstotheflre · 2 years
Text
𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄 || 𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍
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summary: tonight was supposed to be the night you finally fed, only somehow eddie munson manages to satiate your appetite without losing his life. [eddie munson x succubus!reader || jennifer's body au]
cw: smut || 18+ only [ft. oral sex (f receiver), virgin!eddie, switch!reader, switch!eddie, lots of biting/teeth,], there's some mentions about not eating for a long time but it's not ed related (you just haven't killed anyone in a month okay?), general mentions of killing (no gore), lmk if i missed any
a/n: this was born out of a conversation w @ringpop-poppy who asked me to tag her lol. thank her for getting me out of my writer's block <3
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For someone who’s been obsessed with you since middle school, Eddie doesn’t notice you’re standing next to him until he closes his locker. 
“Jesus Christ!” he exclaims in surprise, bumping his side against the row of lockers. The metal boxes clank at the impact. 
“Hi, Eddie,” you say blankly, leaning your shoulder against the wall.
He frowns at the tone of your voice– dry and monotonous and devoid of the snark he’s so used to hearing. He scans your figure, the dip between his eyebrows deepening when he notices the sheen of sweat on your forehead and the dullness of your skin.
You look sick– your cheeks are sunken in, cheekbones protruding abnormally and dark circles under your eyes looking more like bruises. Strangest of all, you’ve switched your beloved dresses for a pair of baggy jeans and a purple sweatshirt that looks 2 sizes too big. 
Actually, the strangest thing is that you’re talking to him. In public. 
“Heeey,” he greets back, dragging the ‘e’ as he looks around the hallway. There’s a couple of people giving the pair of you strange looks, some jocks narrowing their eyes menacingly at him, but everyone seems to move on pretty quickly from this peculiar interaction. 
He doesn’t even hear a gaggle of cheerleaders giggling behind manicured hands as they watch you talk to him. There’s only Chrissy Cunningham, standing alone a couple of feet away from you and giving him a small wave. He relaxes ever so slightly. “You okay?”
“I’m fantastic,” you say with a lack of excitement. 
Eddie snorts. “You don’t sound very believable.”
“Oh.” You run a long finger nail down the plastic spiral of the notebook you’re cradling against your chest, raising an eyebrow when Eddie shivers at the sound. You stop. “Just hungry. I haven’t eaten in…” you blow some air as you pretend to think, cheeks puffing out. “I can’t even remember.”
“Oh, um, I got some pretzels. If you want. Here.” He unhooks one of the straps of his bag from around his shoulder and struggles to open the zipper, pulling at it with as much strength as he can muster without risking it breaking. 
He almost jumps out of his skin when you place a cold hand on his forearm. He stares at it, confused. Why are you so cold? It’s almost spring break.
“It’s okay, Eddie.” He fights back the shiver that threatens to go down his spine at how softly you say his name. “I’m working on it, don’t worry. Besides, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Ask me something,” he echoes back. “Uh, sure. What do you need?” 
You kick your foot against the dirty school floor, biting your lower lip. Eddie notices how chapped they are– what’s usually a pair of very smooth and glossy lips is now covered in dried, cracking skin. He frowns in concern even more. 
“D’you wanna come over tonight?” You twirl a strand of hair between two fingers and smile at him. “I could rent A Nightmare on Elm Street and make some popcorn. Or The Shining, whichever you want.”
Eddie blinks owlishly at you, chuckling awkwardly and gesturing between your bodies with his index finger. His heavy cross metal ring glints under the fluorescent lights. “Us. Watch a movie. At your house. Uh…” He fleets his gaze back around the hallway and notices a significant lack of students walking around. 
He leans closer to you, trying to be as quiet as possible when he asks, “Is this some sort of joke?” 
“No,” you shake your head, tilting it to the side when you see a thin chain around his neck. Your smile is more natural as you grab it and bring it out from under his shirt, the corners of your mouth tilting up minisculely when the guitar pick dangles in the air. “Cute,” you say airily.
Eddie can’t take his eyes off you. He’s pretty sure he’s going crossed eyed as he watches you play with his necklace. “So you’re serious,” he pushes.
“As a heart attack,” you deadpan, still staring at the small plastic triangle and poking it with your middle finger. If you felt like your normal self, you’d be giggling at the sound of your nail hitting the guitar pick. “So?”
“Sure.” Eddie nods enthusiastically. This has to be a dream come true. “Sure, yeah.”
“Great.” Some of your usual brightness comes back to your face at his answer. You open your notebook and quickly write down your address, rip the paper and offer it to him with a sweet smile. The kind that Eddie never thought would be directed at him. “My parents leave on vacation at seven, so come around eight.”
“Ookay,” he slowly plucks the paper from between your fingers, almost dropping it when you press a kiss on his cheek. 
You wink at him, walking backwards. “Can’t wait.”
He presses his fingers to the spot your lips touched, skin feeling hot, and stares dumbstruck as you walk back to Chrissy and hook your arm around hers, giggling at each other as you make your way to class. 
Eddie slaps one hand on the steering wheel as he drives down the street, head banging in the air to the rhythm of Black Sabbath’s Evil Woman. 
His heart beats a thousand miles per hour, blood pumping through his veins at a speed it never has before. He can’t stop the giddy smile from spreading on his lips, shaking his head in disbelief– he’s driving to the house of the girl of his dreams to watch a movie and… other stuff.
He hopes other stuff happens. You had said it so suggestively, making sure to mention your parents leaving you home alone and– and you had kissed his cheek! That had to be a sign, right?
He covers his mouth with his hand and exhales a breath out, sniffing the air. He grimaces and leans to the side, the van swerving with him as he struggles to keep control of the wheel at the same time as he looks for the pack of gum he kept in the back pocket of his jeans. 
He manages to get it out right before he has to turn the corner on the right, hooraying loudly and the wheels screeching as he maneuvers wildly. Keeping his foot on the pedal, he quickly unwraps the gum and throws the paper on the backseat, popping it into his mouth. He chews it through his deafening singing, the fresh minty flavour exploding on his taste buds. 
His singing turns into a quiet mumble when he notices that the streets get progressively darker until there are no lamp posts turned on. The hairs on the back of his head stand in alert and he turns down the music completely, his chewing slowing along with the van as he reaches the address written on the paper. 
He picks it up from where he tucked in inside the overhead visor, his finger gracing over the smooth letter you wrote. He’s sick with love as he traces the tiny heart dotting the ‘i’.
He looks outside his window and to the row of identical houses across from where he’s parked. There’s only one house with a single light turned on and, effectively, it’s the right address. 
Putting the paper back where it belongs, Eddie takes a deep breath and fixes his hair. He gets out of the car and stands facing the houses, adjusting his leather jacket and spitting out the gum. With a reassuring nod to himself he walks forward.
Everything is eerily quiet. He fastens his steps when he gets the feeling that someone is watching him, taking the short porch steps two at a time and comes to a sudden stop when he sees a plank of wood over the front door. Uselessly, he tries the doorknob anyway, jiggling it until it becomes obvious that the door isn’t going to open. 
He takes a couple steps back and looks to both windows on either side of the door, noticing a sheet of plastic hanging over the glass like a makeshift protective curtain. His eyebrows scrunch down in confusion– something isn’t right.
There’s no way that the Queen of Hawkins High, resident Mean Girl, lived in a house like this. He had heard through the grapevine how lavish her house was, how big and deep the pool in her backyard was and how she had a room designated to store all the alcohol you could imagine. Everyone raved about how handy it came for the parties he had never been invited to and how they always ended in someone being thrown into the water. 
His curiosity is piqued, though. He heads to the left side of the house, jumping off the porch and stepping on the narrow bit of grass between your supposed house and your neighbour’s. He looks up to the sky and notices a ladder out of the corner of his eye, right below an open window. 
Making sure it’s sturdy enough, he climbs it, slapping the plastic curtain back and throwing himself inside the house. He groans in pain when he hits the floor with a lack of grace, holding his shoulder and rubbing the sore spot.
Even inside, everything is still pitch black.
“Hello?” He calls out your name, taking a hesitant step forward. “Anyone home?”
No one answers him. 
He walks out of the room, quietly moving another plastic curtain to the side and starts navigating the house curiously. He thinks he’s in the living room when he finally hears something, a low and sugary sweet beat coming from up the stairs. 
The steps creak under his Reebooks. He’s almost on the landing when a crow appears out of nowhere and flies past him like he isn’t even there, its wings flapping noisily. “Holy mother of God,” he curses, resting his back against the wall and clutching his chest. 
When his heart rate is back to normal he keeps climbing, finally reaching the first floor. There’s a crack of warm light coming from the room the farthest away from where he’s standing, the music growing louder as he follows it. 
His lips pull up when he sees the many lit up candles around the room, placed between planks of wood and construction tools. There’s a radio on a workshop table playing a song he wouldn’t be caught dead listening to but it fits his fair maiden to perfection. 
“You made it,” your voice comes from behind him unexpectedly. He jumps in the air and screams, eyes wide when he turns around and sees how sick you look now. Even worse than you look at school. 
Eddie twists one of his rings around his finger as you saunter towards him, hips swaying hypnotically. He gulps, “This– this isn’t really your house, is it?”
Eddie is hit with a wave of your perfume– dark, smelling of chocolates and wild berries– as you stand in front of him. 
“No, baby,” you pout, shaking your head softly. You take his hand and place it over your chest. “This is our home. Just for us.”
Eddie chuckles, sounding uncomfortable. His eyes are glued to the chain that dips between your breasts and the heart locket that hangs from it. “What would we need a house for?”
Your giggle is sweet, your touch soft as you caress his chest and squeeze his shoulders. Eddie holds his breath as you lean forward and whisper in his ear, “To play mommy and daddy.”
Oh shit, he thinks. When did the air become so stuffy?
Your hands go to the back of his neck, long nails scratching his nape and almost making him purr. There’s goosebumps on the skin of his throat as you run your nose against it, bump his jaw up with it and nip gently at his earlobe. “Do you wanna play with me, Eddie?”
He’d do anything you asked of him. “Yes, fuck, yes.”
You pull him towards you by the hair and press your lips together, not bothering with taking it slow, slipping your tongue inside his mouth. He tastes good– minty and smokey and something else… something sweet. Not like the other boys you’ve kissed before to feed on them. They were salty with lust, greedy as they tried to control the kiss. Control you. 
But not Eddie. No, he molds himself to you, lets you take whatever you want from his and is grateful for it. 
You don’t like it. 
Determined to forget about… whatever it was that made your heart skip a beat, you pull away and drift your kisses down his neck, biting him harshly while your hands work on the belt around his hips. You can hear his heavy pants as you stroke his cock over his jeans, adding pressure and feeling the hard and heavy bulge under your palm twitch as you run your tongue over the teeth marks imprinted on his skin.
“Fuck, fuck, wait.” He reaches for your wrists to stop you from lowering his jeans. “Jesus– that was… so fucking hot. Need a minute.”
You huff out an irritated breath, snarking, “I don’t have a minute.”
Being so close to feeding, to sinking your teeth into fresh meat and warm blood, and then having it stripped away from you has made you lose some of your charm. “Just let me suck your cock or something, Jesus,” you roll your eyes in annoyance. 
Eddie laughs, holding your cheeks and kissing your still chapped lips that are now shiny with spit. “That’d defeat the whole purpose of taking a minute.”
God, why does he have to be so sweet? It’d be easier if he were an asshole that couldn’t wait to get his dicks wet and didn’t care about making it last. You can’t stand it. Can’t stand him. 
“How about I eat you out, hm? To pass the time?”
You really don’t mean to, but it’s impossible to stop yourself from blurting out in surprise, “Eat me out?”
“Yeah.” Your stunned face shocks him. “Wait, you’ve never…”
You shake your head, mouth parted. Strictly speaking, you’re not being 100% truthful. Some of your victims have attempted to eat you out, giving you a couple of licks that did nothing for you just to get you wet enough so they could sink their greedy cocks into you without your body rejecting them. Like that would happen.
Still, it’s not like any of those boys managed to get you off with their mouths, so there’s no point in explaining all that to Eddie. 
“Oh, baby,” he sighs. His hands that were cradling your face go down the sides of your body, stroking your curves and settling on your hips. He pushes you forward so your pussy can grind on his bulge. You gasp. “Baby, baby, baby, baby. You have no idea what you’ve been missing.”
You don’t like him having the upper hand. Forcing yourself back into character, you grip the roots of his hair until he hisses. “Show me, then.”
Eddie’s grin is wolfish. “As my fair lady wishes.”
He’s the one who pulls you into a bruising kiss this time, his tongue playing with yours as he deepens it. You traipse back towards the wooden table together, stumbling over each other’s feet. 
Your hips reach the table first, the tools on it clattering to the floor and the radio shaking as it struggles to keep itself balanced. Eddie chuckles against your lips and helps you get on the edge of the table, pushing you backwards until you’re laying flat on the hard surface. 
He trails kisses down your throat and chest, kissing the swells of your breasts that your tank top exposes, sucking on the skin until colourful splotches appear. You arch your back into his face, mumble a curse when his teeth graze your hardened nipple over the thin fabric of your top. 
He peppers more wet kisses down your stomach, dampening your shirt with his spit. He laves his tongue his tongue over the exposed bit of skin of your tummy and flips your skirt up, mouth jumping from your hip bone to your inner thigh, completely neglecting your core in favour of feverishly biting marks into the softness of your thighs. 
The closer he gets to your panties, the softer his nips become, turning into soft pecks that make you warm where his lips touch you. When he reaches your mound, he presses the gentlest kiss over the little bow stuck to your cotton panties, stealing a glance up at you.
You don’t think you’ve ever been looked at with such tenderness. Not even before you were turned into this monster. It makes you shiver, hips raising to help him lower your underwear. 
Eddie’s dimples show when he sees the glistening threads sticking to the fabric, spreading thinner and thinner as he separates it from your pussy. 
An involuntary moan comes out from deep within your chest when he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking it between his teeth and licking wet stripes up your clit, his warm tongue slipping between your folds eagerly. He chances another look up at you, watches you raise yourself on your elbows and brush back his bangs before tangling your fingers in his messy waves.
Your chest is already panting as you watch him swirl your little nub with the tip of his tongue, rising and falling in rapid succession with the quick, short breaths you take. There’s a thin layer of sweat forming on your hairline, Eddie inadvertently melting away the coldness that had taken over your body at the lack of nutrients and raising your temperature until it feels like there’s wildfire coursing through your veins. 
“Eddie,” you whine when he pushes you into his mouth, forcing you to grind against his face. A whimper falls from your parted lips when he forces his tongue into your hole, tasting the deepest parts of you that have never been explored by any man. “S-so good.”
It feels more than good. It is more than good and you’re not used to it ever feeling this good. You tighten your grip on his hair and Eddie moans filthily against you, finally allowing his eyes to flutter shut as he makes out with your pussy like he’s been fantasizing about for years. You taste sweeter than he imagined– unnaturally so. He’s drunk on your taste, his mind becoming foggy, all and any thoughts he had other than you disappearing from his mind as he focuses on the feast in front of him.
You don’t understand what’s happening– your legs spam around his head and your body jerks up, muscles tensing then relaxing immediately as a tsunami of pleasure crashes over you and leaves you breathless. 
You fall onto your back as you gush all over him, filling his mouth with your slick. With trembling hands, you force him away from you, hazy eyes blinking up at him.
He looks… messy. Hair mussed up from your fingers gripping it, lips red and swollen from eating you out like a starved prisoner, chin shiny and dripping with your release, pupils dilated and eyes glazed over just the same as yours. 
He’s unfairly pretty.
“Are you okay?” He asks, crowding your body as he leans down and examines your face closely. Your skin returned to it’s usual glow, your hair no longer looking oily and thin. Somehow, your lips aren’t dry anymore– they’re plump and soft.
“I feel– I feel weird,” you slur. You had expected to return to normal after feeding on Eddie, but you haven’t even punctured an artery and the immeasurable hunger you’ve been feeling all of last month is almost completely gone. 
Something isn’t right. 
Eddie’s heart skips a beat at your confession. “Shit, did I hurt you? Was that too much?”
“Too much? That was… Where the hell did you learn that, Munson?”
He shrugs one shoulder bashfully, his cheeks growing pink at your disbelief. “College girls have a thing for struggling rockstars, apparently.”
Something ugly grows in your chest at the thought of Eddie fucking other people, of another girl keeping his cock warm. You’ve always liked the virgins– they were sweet like candy and desperate and let you take whatever you wanted from them. You milked their souls dry before they could even stutter out a “thank you”.
You had chosen Eddie on purpose and had been so very careful before approaching him earlier today. You had smelled him and sensed that honeyed aura virgin boys always had around them. And you knew he liked you, poor boy wasn’t very good at hiding it. 
So you started being nicer to him: lending him your book in English class when he forgot his copy, whispering to him the answer to a problem in Miss O’Donell’s class when her back was turned to you, smiling at him when you passed each other in the hallway. You even stopped Jason from mocking him and his nerd group a couple of times. 
It had almost cost you your reputation. But you were so hungry, and he was so pretty and smelled so delicious. To have him not be a virgin, have all of your hard work mean nothing, it makes you angry. 
Your previously shining doe eyes grow dark and narrow into thin slits. Your canines elongate and you do your best to cover them as you say, “So you’re not a virgin?”
Eddie’s startled by your sudden change of mood. “Uh…” he swallows awkwardly, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with the motion. “Uh, not– not completely. Couple of blowjobs here and there but– but I’ve never…”
“Fucked a girl?” you guess. He nods shyly and you relax your tense shoulders, returning to your mellow self from 3 minutes ago. You’re giving Eddie whiplash.
You wrap a leg around his hips and push them forward, pressing his hard cock against your wet pussy and gasping at the scratch of the denim. “You wanna fuck me, Eddie?”
His breath catches as you grind your hips against his, eyes rolling at the feel of the heat of your cunt seeping through his jeans. He’s pretty sure there’s a damp spot on his boxers caused by his leaky slit. “Y-yes, God, yes.”
You raise a hand to cradle his cheek, stroking his skin with your thumb. “Yeah? Want my pussy to be the first one you ever feel?”
“Uh huh.” He makes a broken sound, nodding repeatedly. Your voice is hypnotizing, your touch so gentle. “Wanna– wana fuck you. Need it. Please.”
You let go of his cheek and his head falls forward, forehead resting against yours and his hot breath fanning over your face. You reach forward and unzip his pants, lowering them enough so that his cock and his balls fall out. 
“Shit,” he swears as you lick your hand, maintaining eye contact, and grip him, pumping your fist up and down his length. Eddie’s hips jerk forward.
You kiss along his jawline and whisper in his ear, “Tell me what you want to do to me.”
“Fuck, wanna spread your pussy with my cock,” he whines. You press his cock down to your mound and glide your pussy along his dick, puffy and wet folds spreading around his thick girth and bumping your swollen clit with his pretty pink tip. “Aw, shit. J-just like that. So fucking good.”
You kiss behind his earlobe. “What else?”
“Want to m-make you cum,” he stutters when you cradle his heavy sack in your palm, gently squeezing it. “Want to– to fill you up and watch it drip out.”
You giggle mischievously in his ear and Eddie’s mind short circuits. “You want to make me messy?”
“So messy– oh!” he moans when you push his cock into your weeping cunt. Only his mushroom shaped head is inside but that’s almost enough to push him over the edge. He bites his lip until he draws blood. 
You lean forward to lick it up and hum dreamily as you get your first taste of him. He’s so nice and tastes so good, it’s a pity that you have to kill him. 
“Holy shit.” Eddie stares at you with eyes as wide as saucers, then glances down to where your tight heat is welcoming his cock home, spread wide around it. If he thought he had been drunk on your taste before, he feels like he’s just chugged three bottles of the moonshine the older teens at the trailer park drank when he was younger. “Holy shit.”
“Come on, Eddie,” you encourage him, “Fuck me.”
“Y-yeah.” He draws back then forward again, slowly finding a strong rhythm. His hips slaps against yours with wet slaps of skin, his balls hitting your ass with every thrust. “Gonna fuck you. Been dreaming about it for years… thinking of– of making you cum all over me… putting my cum inside you… goddamn it.”
The table creaks as he fucks you, the radio tumbling to the floor with a loud clatter but Eddie can’t focus on any of it when he’s burying himself so deep inside you he can feel your throat contracting around him every time you moan. He wants to record your every sound, every little “uh uh” you make so he can listen to them at night while he touches himself to this memory. 
His stomach burns and twists, fingers digging into your skin with bruising strength as he forces you back and forth on his cock. You can tell he’s getting close. Can smell his scent get sweeter and sweeter the closer the coil in his stomach gets to snapping in half. 
This is your chance.
Your hands frame his scrunched up face as you force him to look at you. “It’s okay,” your tone is soft, gentle. “You can cum now Eddie, it’s okay.”
Eddie looks pained as he shakes his head, cheeks red from embarrassment. “Want you to cum, too.”
You kiss from his cheek down to his jawline, smiling into his skin. “I already did remember? Now I want you to cum. Can you do that for me?”
“Okay. Okay.”
Your back scratches against the wood with every thrust, splinters digging into the skin between your shoulder blades and making you moan at the pleasurable pain. You graze your teeth over his straining neck, allowing them to grow sharper and longer. You open your mouth wide but, right before you can sink your fangs into the vein that’s popping out, calloused fingers grip your chin and pull you into a desperate kiss. 
You’re wide eyed as Eddie licks into your mouth, groans of pleasure mixing with whimpers as he spills all of his cum inside you. He loses his rhythm, rutting into you like a dog, cock twitching and painting your insides white. 
“I’m sorry,” he pants, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t– you felt so good–”
You don’t know why you do it, really. You should just kick him off you and tear a piece of his side. But he did something to you, somehow managed to satiate your appetite without losing his life, so instead of twisting his arm and pushing him to the floor, you pet the back of his hair and repeat your previous words. “It’s okay.”
Eddie’s chuckle is muffled. “That’s the last thing a guy wants to hear after sex, you know. Or during.”
“W-well, it’s the truth,” you fumble. You’ve never comforted someone besides Chrissy, but she just cried and complained, not expecting any reassurances from you. “You can just make it up to me next time.”
Eddie wonders if you’ve always been this sweet deep down. There had to be a reason why Cunnigham liked you, after all. “Next time?” he asks, hoping his hearing was working correctly.
You’re going to grow hungry eventually. If you can’t eat him then you’ll have him do whatever he did to you tonight to keep you full.
“Yeah, next time.”
You’re going to keep him forever.
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hanichani · 5 months
Text
Pairing: han x gn!reader, han x lee know, slight lee know x gn!reader
Genre: fluff, suggestive
Summary: being besties with hanji apparently entails a lot more than just friendship
Warnings: complicated relationships i guess?, boy on boy action/relationship is mentioned but nothing explicit
Word count: 827, I really dk how to write long fics smh
a/n: I've been so inactive oh my god but oh well. merry christmas to anyone who celebrates <3 here's a little hannie/minsung drabble. hope you liiiike it!
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best friend hannie who's not really your best friend.
8:34pm ji: SOS
8:34pm ji: HELP ME
8:36pm ji: HELLO EARTH TO Y/N I NEED U
8:39pm ji: cmon i neeeeeeed u
8:40pm y/nn: r u dying
8:40pm y/nn: if not then leave me alone, im busy
8:41pm ji: but min is busy too >:(
8:41pm ji: and i am dying actually
8:43pm y/nn: no ur just a fucking horndog
8:43pm y/nn: text one of ur other hookups
8:44pm ji: but no one does it like you :(((
8:44pm y/nn: ur full of shit
8:45pm ji: u love it ;)))
8:47pm y/nn: ugh
8:47pm ji: soooo?
8:50pm y/nn: omw
you sigh, feeling annoyed but whenever he says, you’re always there to help him and you don’t even mind being one of the many because you know that jisung is a whore and nothing is going to change that. besides, you’re best friends, he’ll always put you above meaningless hookups (if he’s not too horny and thinking with his dick). the only person he won’t put you above is minho, let’s face it, he’s head over heels and simply too scared to have a proper conversation with him about it. but also, you think he’s scared that if they made it official, he would have to stop getting physical with you which is a close second to minho and he does not want to risk that.
you don’t mind it. to be honest, the thought of the two attractive men being together does something to you. and even when they’re not doing anything sexual, they make your heart swell. they could be cuddling on the couch when you come over and all you can do is scream on the inside because they look so soft and adorable together. holding each other close, their fingers intertwined while minho teases jisung by letting go of his hand every now and then and then both of them staring at their fingers brushing against each other in slow motion when they connect them again. they should get married. safe to say you’re their number one shipper.
so maybe that’s why it’s so natural for you and jisung to fuck around. you love him and he loves you but you both know it’s strictly platonic, right? jisung could be giving you head and muttering about how minho held his hand in public the other day and how that’s definitely a good sign to which you can only respond with loud sighs and nods of acknowledgment that jisung can’t see anyways.
another time, you could be riding jisung, discussing the outcomes of jisung actually confessing to minho. it’s just a casual conversation between friends…while they’re fucking.
and you're not bothered by it because minho is a very attractive man so thinking about him during sex only gets you going more.
sometimes it spirals into jisung talking about how you should definitely try having a threesome and that’s where the lines blur for you because no way would jisung ever let you do anything with minho. he’s way too possessive over the man and it makes you think that jisung has to have some sort of feelings for you to even think about that. but that thought is gone the next time you’re hanging out at his dorm and he charges in, holding the hand of an unknown girl, heading straight into his bedroom.
so yea, best friend jisung who strangers think you’re dating because they don’t know you two that well (they also think he’s dating minho which leads to them thinking the three of you are a poly couple).
best friend jisung who starts making out with you just because he’s had a long day and wants to take his mind off of it. best friend jisung who slides his hands under your tshirt on the daily “because he’s cold”… while he’s just horny. best friend jisung who plays matchmaker, trying to hook you up with his members only to fuck you senseless later that evening.
best friend jisung who coos at you whenever you get sleepy in his arms and thinks he could eat you up right then and there. best friend jisung who kisses you awake after a night spent together, peppering kisses all over your face.
best friend jisung who thinks about what it would be like if you joined him and minho in bed. best friend jisung who has thought about what it would be like to call both you and minho his. best friend jisung who has the exact same relationship with minho as he does with you. and best friend jisung who does not know how to confess to either of you so he plays it off as having platonic relationships with both you and minho while gushing to min about you and vice versa. best friend jisung who is in love with both of his best friends and does not know what the fuck to do.
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majestyjun · 1 year
Note
i have a secret about hueningkai, i think he’s a dom. i know some people think he’s sweet and just couldn’t be but i think that’s a ruse. he’s a nice guy, you trust him, maybe in the romantic aspects of the relationship you’re in charge, planning dates, initiating pda, in public you wear the pants in the relationship. but behind close doors he calls the shots.
maybe could you write about that, him in the bedroom telling you what to do. and of course you do, cause if not he can a bit scary.
oop am i exposing ur secret too much—
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# huening kai + dom role !!
tw. f!reader, protected, making out, strip studying, really sweet sex <3 minors dni + nsfw !!
a/n. don’t usually see him as a dom, but why not~ also how tf did i write all this w one hand on my phone LOL ;; not proofread + written on phone
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huening kai’s an enigma. sweet and adoring, always so shy to initiate any form of affection without blushing bright red, nervously playing with his fingers and glancing at yours before you take his large hand in your own with a smile. always teased by his hyungs, who affectionately laugh at his hesitation to display love, teasing him at his quick cheek kisses (they miss most of the time in his rush, his nose brushing against your cheek before you take his face into your hands, kissing his cheek with little concern) and for his hugs, engulfing your body in his before he realizes people are watching. yeonjun knows every time kai’s going on a date, helping him choose an outfit that doesn’t consist of a bape hoodie and messy bangs. soobin reminds him to tie his shoes in his rush to meet you, lest he trip over halfway and embarrass himself. taehyun offers him advice on his problems, gentle encouragement before he confronts any issues. and of course beomgyu, whose avid laughter helps him let go of the awkwardness. even three years into a relationship, huening kai is still completely wrapped around your finger in every aspect of your relationship. well, nearly every aspect.
so why was your back pressed to the locker room wall, weak to his careless kisses as his tall figure loomed over your smaller one? wrists bound by a single hand and pressed to the tiles above your head, firm thigh lodged between your legs as his lips press to yours roughly, fingers lifting your chin to meet his. teeth bumping against one another’s, before biting into your lower lip, swallowing your startled squeaks as his tongue meets yours, messily sharing saliva in a heated exchange. intoxicated by kai’s kisses, your knees tremble, held up by his firm grip around your wrists. his unrestrained kisses absorbing your attention, wet sounds of infatuation echoing through the locker room’s tiled walls, the only ones within your shared world. water from his recent shower drips off his damp bangs on your skin, cold against warm, flushed cheeks. if anyone saw, they’d know your shared secret; that huening kai was really in charge of your intimate life, that he had you weak with only teasing touches when you were alone.
“mmph—k-kai—“ cute whines replace the pants as he breaks free of the kiss, smiling down at your flushed figure, tiny beneath his large frame. “what? so messed up now, aren’t you?” he laughs, fingers trailing down your jawline as he presses teasing kiss to your cheek. you blush, realizing your disheveled state of clothing, rumpled sweater vest and shirt as a result of his rushed affections. “c-can’t have more?” “you want me to take you here, right now, where any other person could see?” kai whispers, licking your earlobe as he sends your mind into a spiraling fantasy, imagining being caught in the basketball locker room by a stray player or janitor, humiliation burning across your skin. “n-no, i can wait!” you squeak, hurriedly straightening out your clothes. “positive? i don’t think i mind,” smirking at your affected state, he once overs your thighs, clenched together, lips swollen and covered in saliva, “but if you’re sure, maybe i’ll visit later?” you blush at his insinuation, before tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “i-i have to study, though.” “even better,” kai grins, drying off his hair, broad shoulders covered by only a thin white tank top, “eleven should do.”
with that, he deposits his towel and slides on his varsity jacket, glancing at your hands as he slings his bag over his shoulder. with a shy smile, you take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers together as you lead him out of the locker room, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you head in opposite directions. only now, his face was blushing, fingers tracing where your lips had been as he walked towards the parking lot, searching for the team captain’s iconic blue convertible. yeonjun lazily reclines in the driver’s seat, scrolling through his phone as kai approaches. “yah, you look different from when we left!” beomgyu laughs from the passenger seat, noting his swollen lips and shy touches to his face. “you took a while,” yeonjun smirks, watching as kai climbs into the backseat beside soobin and taehyun, “looks like your very sweet girlfriend gave you a treat?” “she definitely pounced on him,” soobin sighs, ruffling kai’s hair as the car backs out of the empty parking lot. “hope you’re using protection.” taehyun deadpans, to beomgyu’s loud amusement. “n-nothing like that happened!” huening kai stammers, the basketball team members all breaking out into laughter at the youngest member’s embarrassment over his intimate life. “please, you’re so transparent.” soobin chuckles, patting him on the shoulder. wind blows in kai’s face, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips as he thinks of the hidden truth, a secret he reserves only for you two to know.
absent-mindedly flipping to the next page of your textbook, you lie on your stomach on your bed, glancing at the clock every now and then. eight forty-two. eight fifth-eight. nine fifteen. nine thirty-one. all the way until now, ten fifty-six. nervously twitching with anticipation, you pick up your anatomy flash cards, flipping through them without too much thought. “honey?” your mom knocks at your door, dressed in her pajamas, “kai’s here. not too late, okay?” “oh! he’s… here to study.” you reply, combing your hair with your hand, straightening the loose strands into place. your mom heads off to your parents’ bedroom, door clicking behind her as huening kai steps into your short doorframe, craning his neck slightly to avoid hitting his head. “came like i promised, didn’t i?” he smiles, dropping his bag beside your door as the lock clicks behind him, long strides easily reaching your bed quickly.
“so, what were you studying?” “the h-heart,” your own beat quickening at his proximity, tall frame casually resting on your sheets, hand in his hair as his elbow sinks into the plush mattress. his varsity jacket falls open, revealing the same white tank top as earlier, collarbones peeking out. “pretty?” his amused voice breaking your thoughts, blinking as you redirect your attention. “oh—sorry!” smirking, kai takes the note cards from your hand, briefly scanning them over. “should we play a game, then? i wonder if you really know these.” “I’m learning them,” you reply hesitantly, not sure where he’s going with this. “for every answer you get correct, i’ll take off a piece of clothing. that’s what you want, isn’t it?” your face flushes, imagining the sight of his broad shoulders and toned body—“but for every question you get wrong, you’ll have to take off something.” shivering at the thought, you nod shyly, sitting up as you recall your knowledge of the heart.
“blood enters this chamber of the heart from the superior and inferior vena cavas.” “right atrium.” you smile, kai shifting as he tosses his jacket aside, casually exposing his toned arms. “blood travels through this from the right ventricle to the lungs.” “pulmonary… vein?” you hesitate, unsure if deoxygenated blood traveled through only veins. “wrong, candy.” his darkening smirk tells you everything, and you slide off your uniform skirt, folding it neatly and placing it beside your bed, cold air rushing to meet your exposed legs. your hand moves to pull your blanket over your thighs, before kai’s hand grabs yours, a small shake of his head and a grin sending a flush across your face. “blood from the arms and the head enters the heart here.” “superior v-vena cava.” kai pauses for a moment, considering which article to strip first, before swiping off his tank top, dropping it on the floor without much thought. the sight instantly brought a flush to your face; kai might have been flustered over kisses and hand holding, but was completely unfazed at stripping in private. “what?” he laughs teasingly, your gaze quickly averting as you mumble an incoherent reply, attempting to stay focused.
“blood exits the heart from here.” “aorta!” you excitedly cheer, hoping to have won the game; to your dismay, kai snickers before pulling off his socks. “w-wait, does that even count?” giggling at your reaction, kai gestures at his legs, “we’re you expecting something else?” “n-no!” you stammer, “n-next question!” “what separates the right atrium from the right ventricle?” frowning, you pause, trying to remember the name. “a… valve.” mumbling, your fingers fumbling with the hem of your shirt with reluctance. “why so shy?” kai smiles, cocking his head at you, “it’s not like i haven’t seen you in your underwear before.” “it—d-don’t say that aloud! wh-what if my p-parents hear?” flustered, your whisper, embarrassed at his nonchalant response. “so… if i did this, you think you could keep quiet?” leaning towards tou, a hand sliding up your bare thigh towards the hem of your uniform shirt, the sensation of his warm palm trailing dangerously close to your sensitive inner thigh. “o-okay!” voice barely contained to a whisper, you pull your shirt over your head, hands trembling as you fold the fabric, feeling kai’s pleased gaze follow your figure as you lay the folded clothes neatly. “n-next quest—mmph!” soft lips press against yours, interrupting your words, a warm hand catching your back as kai gently lowers you on your back, eyes fluttering shut at the sweet act. “here’s your final question,” pulling away, a soft murmur contained to the minimal space between your lips, “is this okay?” fingers slide around your waist, gently feeling the skin of your stomach. “yes, kai.” no sooner than the words leave your mouth, his lips steal the air from your lungs in a breathless kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck, one hand cupping his jawline, pulling him closer.
“really, really love you,” he sighs against your lips, calloused hands caressing your curves, “so perfect.” insecurities vanish in the wake of his gentle touch, as if he knows every worry and fear you’ve ever harbored and erases them with adoration. even in plain underwear, kai makes it feel special and pretty, effortlessly seeing your best in his touch and sight. your body small under his broad shoulders, hot skin of his chest pressed to yours, shared heartbeats quickening as his fingers trace the hem of your panties, slowly tugging them down your thighs. a blush flares across your cheeks, a small, shy grin crossing kai’s face, “you can be quiet, right…?” you whisper, clasping his jaw in your hands, swollen lips only centimeters away, breath hitching with the proximity. “think that’s my question for you.” eyes hazy with lust, smaller fingers finding the zip of his pants, boxers straining to contain his massive length.
propping himself up with an arm, his hand slips into his pocket, a familiar silver wrapper meets your lips, a small smile crossing your face as you bite down, tearing it open with a small tug. “god, love it when you do that,” kai sighs, pulling down his boxers as your small fingers taking the condom and sliding it over his hard length. hissing slightly with sensitivity and with a nod, he slowly sheathes himself inside your tiny warmth, nearly collapsing on your smaller frame, barely maintaining control at the tight stretch. “mmph—k-kai!” clasping a hand over your lips to contain your mewls, still not adjusted to his large size, squirming in the sheets under him. nose brushing against your cheek, kai pants into the crook of your neck, resisting the urge to push all the way in, your warm walls clenching around him so tightly, muffled cries so delicately sweet and irresistibly cute. he’s so big compared to you, broad shoulders much larger than yours, hands massive compared to your small ones, cock too big for your tiny pussy. “k-kai—nnngh—t-too big!” you sob, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, his lips messily crashing against yours, swallowing your cries as he finally hits your sweet spot, large hands pressing your small wrists into the sheets beside your head, sweaty bangs brushing against your forehead.
“mmph—so tiny—and cute,” he mumbles into your lips, poorly controlled thrusts into your hips sending heat racing across your skin, the stretch overwhelming as your cunt burns with immense pleasure, kai pinning down your writhing body with his, salacious gasps for air breaking sloppy kisses, sometimes missing and pressing against each others cheeks, saliva leaking from the corners of mouth, a thin string of drool connecting your lips before diving into one another again. “haah—f-feels really g-good—!” kai pants, grunting as his hips buck into yours, warmth clenching him so tightly, the sound of your tiny dripping cunt taking him so well heaven to his ears, flushed face burying itself into the valley between your breasts, rough kisses covering your chest before he pulls one side of your bra down with his teeth, exposing the soft plush of your chest to his messy ministrations, “agh—k-kai! n-not th-there!” your whimpers fill your room, breathy as you arch your back, kitten licks covering your nipple as he blows on the soft nub, the cold stimulation drawing cries of sensitivity as he swirls his tongue around the small bud.
“s-so—haah—tiny—“ kai gasps, feeling your walls clench further around his cock, your mewls growing louder as you approach your orgasm. “p-pretty, s-so smal—ah!” your high pitched cry interrupts his groans of pleasure, the hand pressing down on the bulge in your stomach, heat rushing to your core at the sensation, pleasure overwhelming your senses at the pressure. “t-taking me s-so well, c-cum for me?” the words scarcely left his lips as your release coats his length, soaking the condom as you writhes with pressure, incoherent whimpers and sobs filling the heated air as your climax wracks your body. “n-not done y-yet—“ suddenly, kai easily flips your body over, pressing you into the sheets from behind, sweaty chest pressed to your back as he pushes himself back into your cunt, sloppily thrusting your cum in and out of your pussy, hot breath against your shoulder. “k-kai! t-too much—hnng!” sobbing into the pillow, soft fabric quickly soaked in your tears of pleasure, overstimulation burning your heat, walls clenching down on his cock, feeling every vein through the thin barrier. “r-really close, pretty,” he pants, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust, messy or not. “ah—k-kai—l-love you!” loud cries poorly muffled by the pillow, a final hard sheath of his cock into your swollen cunt, teeth biting into your shoulder as his cum fills the condom, pleasure rushing over his sweaty body, heart racing against your back with rapid thumps.
“hnng—! f-feels—“ you whimper, feeling his cock leave your cunt, spent condom tugged off before kai gently wraps his arms around your body, nuzzling your shoulder with a trail of feather light kisses, legs entangling as he pulls you tightly against his chest. “really, really love you,” kai breathes, feeling more infatuated than he’d ever felt, feeling your tiny body engulfed by his. “m-me t-too.” a warm sensation coats your body from inside out, his hot skin pressed against yours, a mutual feeling of adoration bringing tired smiles to your faces, one hand lacing with your smaller one as the other gently rubs your stomach, soft skin beneath his large hand. “you’ll never leave me?” “never.” you sigh happily, relaxing in his bear hug, hearing his breathing slow into a lull, feeling his strong heart comfortingly beat against your back as kai drifts off, your eyes fluttering close soon after. a sweet shared secret; how clingy of a person kai became after sex, compared to his flustered ministrations in public.
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skzhua · 1 year
Note
Hi! Sorry to bother again lol. I’m the Han obsessed girl lol. At it again with another request story cause my mind spirals but anyways I was thinking a forbidden love and sorta enemies to lovers so basically Han really wants to be with y/n but can’t cause of there differences and family issues etc and y/n pushes Han away cause she knows she likes him and all and basically angst and some fluff at the end? If that makes sense! - Sorry for the long request anyways Luv your work <3 (That’s why I keep coming back lol)
He's Not What He Seems to Be
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MASTERLIST
Pairing: New CEO!Han Jisung x Rival!Female Reader, brief Lee Felix x Reader.
Genre: CEO!AU, forbidden love!AU, rivals-to-lovers, fluff, angst, slow burn.
Word Count: 19,435
Warnings: Swearing, insults, drinking, suggestive, mentions of sex but nothing too explicit, one mention of cheating. (proofread-ish)
A/N: I've been wanting to do a forbidden love kind of thing for a while, thank you! This is basically what I was already working on, but I changed it a bit so it could work for your request.
A/N 2: My longest fic so far! I love this story so much and put so much into it! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did when writing it.
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one. - now -
"Has Miss L/N signed the papers yet?" the man asked your father, as if you weren't in the room already.
"She has not yet. We are to discuss our agreement before we commit to anything." your father answered politely.
"I see." the man, also known as Mr. Bang, breathed out. "I expect an answer until tomorrow night. We have our big announcement ceremony. I will be delighted to know you there."
Your father nodded politely before leaving the room while you stayed behind. As the door closed, you sent a glare to Mr. Bang. Upon seeing your reaction, he lets out a laugh.
"Chan, stop it." you rolled your eyes.
"Please, your father is so serious." he kept on laughing.
"If only he saw how you are out of office..." you mumbled in exasperation. "I think you becoming a CEO has only worsen your IQ."
He huffed in response. "Your company is nothing without mine, watch how you talk to me."
"Bruh..."
"Y/N, this is serious business!" he exclaimed.
"I know that, but I also know you are, first and foremost, my best friend. Plus, how did you talk about me just now? As if I'm some puppet who only gets to sign stupid papers."
He shook his head as he turned on his computer. "I was only joking."
"Yeah, well, my father didn't get that." you scoffed.
You went around his desk and leaned forward to see the statistics marked on his screen. You frowned when one number caught your attention. The Han technologies had risen significantly.
"I thought you said our new line of intelligent watches helped us beat the Han company." you commented.
"It did. For like a week." he sighed. "Your company is not doing so good, let me tell you."
The Bang family was a renowned one in the industry. Their ideas were always original and fresh, the public loved it. The Han were more traditional, but they managed to keep a great image since they kept on releasing new stuff all the time. Plus, their promoting team was a hard one to beat. And then, there was the L/N. You used to lead the technology brands with the Bang. However, with time, your ideas were not as impressive as they used to be. The Han family sued you for plagiarism a few years ago and this was a huge step back for your improvement. Luckily, Chan had recently taken his father's place as the CEO of Bang inc. and agreed on helping your company to increase your legitimacy. That was only because you two had studied together in college and grew to support one another.
"Isn't Han Jisung supposed to take the spot as their new chairman?" you asked when your eyes spotted his name on the screen.
"He gets promoted tomorrow morning."
You groaned in annoyance. "Does it mean he is going to be there at your night event?"
"Yes." he gave you a weak smile. "If it helps you to feel any better, he is only there to discuss business with us. You don't even have to address him a single word."
You scoffed again. "Trust me, I'll stay away from this guy. Why do you have business with him. anyway? I thought you were helping me!" you acted offended.
"Stop whining, Y/N. You're becoming CEO next year as well. See the following months as an opportunity to learn more about the industry." he patted your back.
You deadpanned at him, arms crossed. "You're so annoying."
"And that is why you love me." he faked a smile. "You should join your father before he asks me to marry you again."
Although your father thought the ideal solution to save the company was to marry you off to Chan, the latter had refused multiple times. You were his best friend, he would never take away such a big part of your life from you.
"Fair enough." you shrugged. "Don't forget to send me the papers, I'll sign them tonight."
"Yeah, yeah." he motioned his hand at you while his eyes were stuck on his computer. "See you tomorrow."
You joined your father outside, and there were already journalists surrounding him, asking him questions about your downfall and how he planned to save his company. You came to his rescue by telling them off and dragging your father behind to the car. Once in the vehicle, you asked the driver to bring you home.
"I really think you should marry Mr. Bang for our sake." he shot at you as the car started to move. "This would do great publicity and help us rise our sells."
"Well, it's a shame he doesn't want to propose to me." you sighed with a hint of playfulness in your voice.
"Y/N, be serious for once!" he nagged at you. "You've known the man for years and he is very respectful. I see no issue in a marriage."
You rolled your eyes at him. "I don't want to marry him, neither does he. He is already helping us a lot, it should be enough for now."
"And look at the results. This only made us beat the Han family for a week or so."
Not wanting to argue, you simply sighed loudly and looked out the window. You passed in front of the Han building and caught a slight glimpse of Han Jisung. Another thing you hated about the man was how good-looking he was. This was surely going to help him raise their numbers after he gets promoted.
Finally getting home, you rushed to your room to go wash up. Your day had been a hassle with the meetings with Chan, trying to act as if you haven't seen each other at your worst back in college. The moment you stepped in the shower, your phone went off. Glancing at the contact, you shrugged it off and declined. A few minutes into washing your hair, it went off again. With a groan, you hurried to rinse off the shampoo and soap that remained on your body.
Still damped, you answered rudely. "What?"
"Uh... Is this a bad timing? I thought you told me you'd be off work by now..." the voice on the other side spoke with uncertainty.
"I am at home, but couldn't you have waited five minutes?" you groaned.
"Jeez, my bad, L/N." Jisung chuckled. "Call me when you can?"
"No, I'm done already." you sighed as you started to dry yourself with the towel. "What do you want?"
"I'm nervous."
Yeah, you and Jisung weren't exactly as hateful towards one another as people thought you were. You hated him, yes, but only because he was an annoying child who would be constantly calling you to talk about anything. Other than that, he was a good friend of yours.
"You've been preparing for a whole ass year, you'll be fine." you softly reassured him.
"I still believe I need more time."
"If you want my opinion, you'll never feel ready. I can assure you that you are more than well-prepared for this position." you said before going back to your room.
"Are you going to be there tomorrow?"
You sighed heavily as you let yourself fall on your bed. "Yeah, but don't expect me to talk to you."
"I know." he said sadly.
There was a pause in the conversation. You took it as an opportunity to change into a more comfortable outfit since you wouldn't be going out until the morning after.
"You still there?" you heard through your phone.
You picked it up again and placed it on your ear. "Yeah."
"I- Do you think it's weird for me to want things to be different?" he breathed out.
You frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You hated me before, right?"
"Yeah..." you trailed off, even more confused. "I still do, honestly."
"Yeah, well not like you used to. And I hated you too."
"Just get to the point." you complained.
"Right." he coughed. "I wish we could have continued what happened last year."
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two. - a year ago -
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." you cursed under your breath.
From afar, you saw your sworn enemy, Han Jisung, walk towards the baggage reclaim area, looking around for his own. You put on your sunglasses in hopes he wouldn't notice you. To your luck, he didn't as he seemed more preoccupied with finding his luggage.
You turned on your heels and walked away as fast as you could. In all of the places in the world, he had to be exactly where you were at for your little solo escapade. Add to that it was at the same time. You couldn't go back, this trip had cost you too much already.
"Well, well." you heard from behind. "If this isn't Miss L/N." he said in a cocky voice.
You shut your eyes closed before turning around, coming face to face with the man. "And if this isn't Mr. Too-Much-Ego-For-His-Own-Good." you faked a smile.
"I appreciate your worry about my ego, L/N, but I don't think it is necessary." he smirked at you. "Unless you actually have feelings under that pretty façade of yours."
It was your turn to send him a smirk. "I understand from what you said that you think I am pretty?"
His smile dropped. "You wish, princess."
With that, he left you in the middle of the airport as he headed towards the exit. Calling for a cab, he disappeared moments later. You could finally breathe a little. After making sure he wasn't around anymore, you went ahead yourself to get in a cab. You told the driver the location of the hotel you had reserved at, and it took him no time to drive away from the airport.
When you arrived, he was kind enough to help you with your bags before the valet took you in charge and brought them to your room. He led the way to the suite you had booked and made sure it was to your comfort before leaving. The sunlight was refreshing and the view as well compared to your house in the middle of the city back home. You walked to your balcony to take in the fresh air, letting yourself feel the warm breeze.
"Enjoying the view, L/N?"
Turning your head to your left, your eyes grew wider. This had to be a joke. There was no way he was in the room next to yours.
"Han." you muttered.
"I'm starting to think you are stalking me." he let out a laugh.
Even from his balcony that was a bit afar from yours, you could see the smug look plastered on his face. He was one hell of a jerk to be accusing you of such things, especially considering how much your families were against each other.
"I could say the same about you." you snorted.
"Don't expect this much from me, princess. If I wanted to pay attention to you, I would have done so way before."
How much you hated this pretty face of his. "Sure. Just don't bother my vacation." you huffed.
"You already ruined mine." he shot at you before walking back inside.
You soon did the same and rushed to get your phone, although you had promised yourself to not use it for the next two months of your getaway. In a hurry, you searched up Chan's contact and called him.
"I told you! You didn't even last an hour without your phone." he laughed as he answered.
"Han is here."
Chan said nothing, you could only hear his breath.
"Do you want to know the best?" you continued. "He's in the same fucking hotel in the room next to fucking mine."
"Oh." was all what came out of his mouth.
You grunted. "Thank you for the support, Bang."
"I'm sorry, Y/N, but this is kind of a lot to process." he chuckled awkwardly.
"Yeah, no shit..."
"Look, it can't be that bad! Just ignore him and he'll do the same. You two don't even look at each other during events, you can do the same now."
In a way, Chan was right. How bad could it be if the only thing you would do is go out in the sun and enjoy the beach? Sure, you were staying at the same hotel, but it didn't mean you were going to bump into each other every two seconds.
"Alright, I suppose it could have been worse. He just gets on my nerves so much."
"Ignore him and enjoy your trip, okay? I have to go now, but call me anytime."
"Thank you, Chan."
That night, you opted for having dinner at the restaurant in the lobby. From what you have heard, they served the best beef on Earth and there was no way you would miss your chance to taste it. You dressed in a casual attire, in contrary of your usual blazer you'd wear for work, and didn't even bother to look presentable. On this island in the middle of nowhere, who was going to recognize you anyway? Your cropped top with the skirt you picked definitely weren't going to be much of a problem.
The server offered for you to sit at their bar to taste their cocktails they offered along with the meat. You denied kindly and he assigned you to a single table near the window. From there, you had a perfect view of the sea and the sunset which were simply breathtaking. For the first time since your arrival, you finally felt at ease, which was exactly what you were going for. No stress, no pressure, just calmness.
"I'll have the flank steak with the potatoes, please." you ordered to the waiter, who took your menu after he noted it down.
The meal arrived not too long after. Taking a bite, you hummed from the taste, satisfied with the flavours. This was a perfect scenario; alone in the middle of nowhere eating the best food without anyone to bother you.
"Sorry ma'am." the waiter said, bringing a red drink in his hand. "The gentleman at the bar ordered this for you."
He left it on the table, making you almost blush. Not only was your night already perfect, but you could have your summer love at this instant. Your gaze moved to the counter with anticipation, until your smile was replaced by a glare.
"Are you being for real?" you scoffed, almost not believing what was happening.
"This is the most I have seen you in an entire day, Miss L/N." Han grinned, having the same drink as yours in his hand.
He left some money next to his plate before getting up and taking place on the seat in front of you. Your eyes followed his movements, daggers through them. He looked extremely handsome, more than usual. There was something about him wearing his shirt with a few buttons undone and neat jeans that had some sort of effect on you.
"What do you think you are doing?" you questioned, crossing your arms.
"I paid a beautiful lady a drink, what is so wrong with that?" he smirked.
Shaking your head in disbelief, you chuckled at him. "Are you seriously trying to flirt with someone you cursed at in public for the last month or so?"
He shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip of the red liquor. "This is in no way a professional setting, I'm allowing myself to let it loose. It might be something you should consider doing as well, princess."
"As if." you let out a laugh.
"I'm serious. Other than work, I don't see a reason for hating you at this moment. When you think about it, right now, we are two respectably office workers who are simply on a break on this beautiful island."
A playful smiled appeared on your face slowly. "You are right, Han. Maybe we could put our work aside for the following weeks."
You took this as a way to avoid awkward interactions, but mostly, it would avoid him shooting insults at you for the time being. If you were going to be seeing him regularly, might as well make a truce to be able to enjoy your stay.
"I didn't expect you to be agreeing with me." he tilted his head to the side. "How long are you staying anyway?"
"Two months."
He let out a hum. "Same as me."
"Great." you muttered.
Finally feeling the need of a drink, you took a sip of the one Han bought you. Your stare stayed cold as he observed your gestures. His eyes were almond round, but there was this intimating hint in them that you couldn't quite put a finger on. You were visibly both still on the edge. However, it was somehow more tolerable than usual.
He raised his glass towards you and you copied his move. "What are we toasting for?" you raised an eyebrow.
He grinned at you. "To us, two known rivals who bury the hatchet for two months."
"To us."
Cling.
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three. - eleven months and three weeks ago -
The first week had passed by so fast. Although you had planned to do so many things, you had barely gone outside. Unlike what you originally thought, you were not able to get away from work as easily. With a couple of calls here and there, signing documents to confirm shipments and others, you had little time to go out and enjoy the weather.
"What did I tell you?" Chan sighed, video calling you from his office. "I thought this was to forget about work."
"I know, I know." you groaned while rummaging through the clothes you packed. "I promise, today, I'll do nothing else but go to the beach and take a dip in the sea."
"Yeah, if you can find your bathing suit." he held in a laugh as he watched you struggle. "I'd offer to help, but I am eight hours away from you."
"Oh, wow, Channie." you turned to look at your phone. "I didn't know, I'm so glad to know you wanted to help still."
"Drop the attitude." he rolled his eyes. "You should be enjoying the sun instead of talking to me."
"You're my only source of entertainment since I got here, my bad." you held your hands up in defense. "Though I'm sure you have a lot of work right now, so I'll leave you be."
"Good plan. Have a good first day of vacation!" he waved before hanging up, not letting you say it back.
"This asshole." you mumbled to yourself.
Finally getting a hold of your bikini, you changed into it and wore a long summer dress over it so you could easily remove it once at the beach. You packed a tube of sunscreen, sunglasses, sandals, a bottle of water, and a book to spend the time.
You got there in a matter of minutes since your hotel was so close to the shore. There were already a lot of people, but you managed to find a spot a bit further where you could have some peace. There was a long chair installed with a parasol and a small table, so you placed your things, laying them out neatly, before you removed your dress. You were about to put on your sunscreen, until you heard a whistle from your left. Looking for the source of the sound, your eyes laid on a man. He wasn't so old, but he was visibly way older than you.
"Hi, Miss." he presented himself politely. "My name is Ko Sangwook."
"Okay." you said nonchalantly.
"And you are?"
"Annoyed you came here to bother me." you snapped at him. "If your way of flirting is whistling at a woman because you saw her at the beach in a bathing suit, I can understand why you are still looking for someone at your age."
"I-" he started, but you raised your hand up to stop him.
"I came here to relax and enjoy the view, so if you don't mind, it'll be very appreciated if you leave me alone."
"I didn't mean to-"
"I know what you meant." you cut him off again. "But like I said, I'd like to be left alone, thank you."
His shoulders dropped in defeat before he turned on his heels and walked back to where he previously was. Satisfied, you went back to putting on the cream on your arms. As you thought you had finally some tranquility, you heard someone clapping their hands slowly as they approached you. You immediately knew who it was.
"I almost interfered but I might say, you are rather good at handling such situations, L/N." he commented as he continued to clap.
You gave him a polite smile. "I'd usually tell you to fuck off, but in the context of the vacation, I'll gladly thank you."
Han snickered as he approached you. "You are very welcome."
He, himself, was in his swimming shorts with a loose white t-shirt and sunglasses that were pushing his hair back. This was a much different look from what you had seen him wear before and it was surely the first time you noticed the muscles he had through the fabric.
"Did you get here early?" you asked, now rubbing your legs with the cream.
He was checking you out, there was no doubt. However, the attention you were receiving was the least of your worries. Instead, you tried to focus on smoothing the white of the sunscreen.
"No, I got here about fifteen minutes ago. If I'm being honest, Miss L/N, I expected to be crossing your way sooner than today."
"I had issues to attend to." you responded, keeping it brief.
He dared to sit next to you as he saw you struggle to do your shoulders. Taking the tube from your hands, he squirted a certain amount and gave you a look as to ask for your permission. You nodded slowly and he started to rub your back gently, applying where you couldn't reach.
"Let me guess." he continued the conversation. "Work?"
"Precisely." you answered, suddenly not so focused as you felt his hands massage your shoulders. "I couldn't leave the paperwork to the staff, they would have messed it up."
"I see." he hummed.
To your disappointment, he was already done with putting on your sunscreen and he got up, rubbing his hands together with the remaining of it.
"Enjoy your day, princess." he said before he walked the opposite way from you.
You let out a huff, your brain trying to process the last couple of minutes. You shook it off. This was Han being polite, nothing more. Thus, you picked up your book and started to read, a way to change your mind. It didn't work. Your eyes kept drifting to where the blond-haired man was. Now totally shirtless, it was way harder to ignore his figure. One hell of a man he was.
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four. - now -
You coughed, not knowing what to respond to him. He seemed to notice your discomfort as he immediately tried to justify himself, although you already knew what he was referring to.
"I mean, back when we could be casual with each other without worrying about... Well, not casual, but at ease?"
"I get it, Jisung." you said, pinching in-between your eyes. "Listen, I'm sure tomorrow will go wonderful for you. This is what you've been working for all of these years, no?"
There was hesitation in his voice as he answered. "It is, you are right."
"Alright... I have to go now, I have a big day tomorrow, and so do you."
"Yeah..." he mumbled. "Thank you, Y/N."
"Good night, Han." you hung up.
Burying your face in your hands, you recalled the previous year. So much had happened since then, you didn't know why you kept secretly befriending the enemy. This was wrong, in all aspects.
"Miss L/N." you heard from your door. "I have your laundry. What do you want me to do with it?"
You opened the door to meet eyes with the sweet Jeongin, your assistant slash butler. "Innie, be casual with me." you chuckled.
"I would but your dad is, like, staring at me." he whispered to you, which made you laugh.
"I'll just take these from you." You then noticed another piece of clothing that did not belong to you while you took the pile of clean shirts from him. "What is this?"
"Ah." he exclaimed before holding it higher for you to see. "Mr. Bang told me about tomorrow, so I thought I could shop something for you. Don't be mad, I just thought you wouldn't have the time."
Analyzing the gown, you grinned from ear to ear. It was a beautiful silk red dress with a long skirt that seemed to be flowing even though the man holding it was barely moving. You noticed it had pockets and it only made you love it even more. If anything, Jeongin had the best taste in terms of clothing.
"It's okay, Jeongin. I love it."
"I knew you would." he smiled with you and gave it to you. "Sleep well." he waved.
"You too."
The next day, you woke up with the worst headache. You would have taken the day off, if it wasn't for the agreement you still had to sign with Chan. The guy forgot to send you the papers, and so had you forgotten to remind him. Both of you were so smart, but when put together, it was a disaster.
You walked in his office, a coffee in hand and eyebags taking half of your face, and then slumped on the chair in front of his desk. He gave you a suspicious look, but didn't bother questioning you when he spotted the box of doughnuts in your other hand.
"Is this for me?" he asked excitedly.
You yawned loudly while nodding your head, dropping the box in front of him. "I got the caramel thingy you love so much."
"You're the best." he smiled at you. "I can't eat them yet, though. We have some stuff to sign, my dear."
With a groan, you grabbed a pen laying on his agenda and straightened your posture, ready to sign. He took out a document out of a file and started to read out the conditions. There were basic ones, such as the percentage of gain for each party and the duration of the contract.
"Yeah, yeah, I know all of this already, we wrote it together." you whined, growing impatient.
"Sorry for following proper protocol, Mrs. I-Am-Still-Asleep." he rolled his eyes at you.
"Headache." you answered. "Where do I sign?"
He pointed you a few places while turning the pages. "And here."
"This feels like I'm committing to a marriage." you grumbled.
He stopped his motion and sent you a glare. "Y/N, please focus."
"Sorry."
You eventually signed everything and Chan made a copy for you. He kept his in a folder before putting it away in his drawer. Business was easy with him, you liked it.
You yawned once more as you put the paper in your briefcase. "My father will be happy this is finally done."
"I suggest you take a nap with some pills before tonight, you don't look too good." he pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
"Can I just crash on your couch?" you motioned the sofa in the corner of his office.
He shrugged. "Sure, but a heads up, Han is coming in a like thirty minutes."
Your eyes widened. "Uh?"
"We have a couple of things to get cleared up before tonight. It won't be long, I promise. You tolerated him for two months last year, you can handle an hour or so."
Did you handle the two months? You begged to differ.
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five. - eleven months ago -
Avoiding Han was easier when going to a different beach, further away from the one next to the hotel. It required you more transport, but the episode of the sunscreen left you traumatized almost. It was primordial for it to not occur again.
However, there was so much you could do to not meet him again. Tonight, the hotel was organizing a night on the beach for dancing and partying. You were still a woman in your 20s, there was no way you would be missing out on this. That also meant Han wasn't going to skip it either.
The moment you stepped foot on the sand, you saw him. He was discussing with a lady at the bar. Dressed in a short-sleeved buttoned shirt that was clearly too loose for him, he matched it with ripped jeans shorts and a silver chain around his neck. The woman with him was the definition of a popular girl you would meet in high school. Blond hair that matched his, bralette that enhanced the forms of her breast and a skin way too perfect to be real.
You had dressed up for the occasion as well. Although you had more self-preservation than her, you had picked a V shaped top with yet another one of your skirts. This one was longer and the fabric flooded perfectly as you walked. You went close to where he was sitting, ordering a margarita for yourself.
"Excuse me for a moment." he said, bowing apologetically to the lady.
Slowly, he made his way to you. You wondered where in this mind of his he thought talking to you was more worth it than speaking with the hot chick he had just abandoned.
"I would have never thought of you as one for the margaritas." he stated when the drink was placed in front of you.
"And I would have never guessed you liked bimbos." you replied with a knowing smile. "Known to break hearts, Han?"
He chuckled as he shook his head. "I used to be a wild teenager, I have to admit that."
"Not a surprise." you shrugged and drank your cocktail.
"How were you?" To this, you frowned at him. "In high school, I mean."
Looking up, you started to roll your memories from then in your head. "More reasonable and responsible than you were, I'd say."
"There is no doubt." he let out a laugh. "You dated Mr. Bang, didn't you?"
You froze at his words. For an instant, he reminded why you hated his family. They would never mind their own business and were constantly asking around for the gossip. This came to their advantage, they were known to expose the fraud within the industry.
"Is this why he's saving your ass from when my father sued yours?"
"Weren't you the one who wanted to bury the hatchet?" you said in a challenging voice.
"My apologies, princess." he snickered. "Curiosity got the best of me."
You turned your attention back on the drink in your hands. "I never dated Chan. I didn't even know him back in high school."
"It doesn't look like your relationship is platonic. I'm sure you are aware of what is said in the medias about the two of you."
You instantly got what he meant by that. "There is no marriage arrangement." you simply replied. "Did it answer your questions?"
"It did." he affirmed, now taking a sip of his own alcoholic liquor.
You considered you'd had enough of the conversation. By then, you had drawn a good image of what the Han family were discussing among themselves, and to no surprise, it was pure bullshit. You chugged the rest of your margarita and the shot of tequila you ordered along with it. Wincing at the strong taste, you put the glass down before walking towards the dance floor. Han stopped you.
Sending him a roll of your eyes, you smacked his hand away from your arm. "Am I not allowed to go have fun? Do I need the permission of the great Han Jisung?"
"I was simply about to ask you to dance with me."
You scoffed. "After your stunt about my personal life? I don't think so."
You found yourself moving along the music alone, soon then joined by another young man. From afar, you saw that Han had gone back to flirting with the big boobed girl from earlier. Good for him, he seemed to be lacking some action. As for the boy dancing with you, he was rather attractive. You grew to learn that his name was Felix and that he came from Australia. He was also a young wealthy man who was looking for a getaway from the toxicity of the business. It seemed to be a common pattern for most people like you.
"I see you know my mate, Jisung." he told you when he brought you afar from the noise, walking along the water.
You glanced back to Han's direction as he was moving with the blondie, her ass grinding on him. "He's nothing more than a mere acquaintance."
"Oh." Felix nodded his head. "I apologize, it seemed like more from where I watched the two of you."
You huffed, not believing a word he was saying. "We're rivals. If anything, I despise him."
He laughed at your words. "Hard feelings?"
You shook your head. "Not him in particular, his family in general." you breathed out before stopping to look at the small waves. "This is beautiful."
"It truly is."
A slight smile crept its way on your mouth. "The stars look like the freckles on your face."
He let out a chuckle. "You're a romantic?"
"When the man who keeps me company is to my liking, yes." you flirted.
This was definitely the alcohol speaking, but Felix was good-looking. You were not going to beat yourself for having an interest in him.
"I take it as in you appreciate my presence." he said in a soft tone, taking a step closer to you.
As he was now hovering you, you felt your heart pounding. "Good assumption." you whispered.
Carefully, he leaned in to meet your lips with his. He was undeniably an excellent kisser and he knew what he was doing. He eventually poked your lips with his tongue, asking for permission to slide it in yours. You let your mouth agape and went on to make out sensually. He slowly moved his hands from your waist to your ass which made you gasp at the contact.
"Sorry." he mumbled.
"Don't be." you breathed out heavily.
You moved your lips down his throat, moving to the muscle in-between his neck and his shoulder. It was his turn to let out a groan, making him grasp tighter on your ass cheeks.
"You want to do this here?" he grunted, still in shock from your sucking on his skin.
"We can take this to my room, unless you can't wait." you said in a moan.
Without another word, he grabbed your hand and ran back to the hotel. On the way there, you exchanged glances with Han. He had the woman all over him, but he didn't seem to enjoy it as much as he should. Instead, his eyes were dark as he followed your figure running to the building. You would have questioned it, but Felix picking you up bridal style quickly shifted your thoughts elsewhere.
When the doors of the elevator closed, Felix's lips were back on yours and his hands were, again, fondling your butt. Too immersed in the moment, you didn't think twice as you removed his shirt. He was stunned by your action, especially because you were still in public technically, but he didn't fight back. Your eyes directly went to his abdominal muscles, leaving your mouth open.
"I think it was a good idea to work out again for my part." he chuckled.
"Definitely."
Next thing you know, you're in your room with an Australian cutie on top of you. It was good, excellent you dared to think, but that was it. A one-night stand, nothing more.
When waking up, you felt horrible for not seeing him more than that. He was even prettier in the sunlight, but it was just that. He slowly woke up, grunting while stretching his arms out.
"Hey." he waved at you cutely. "Good morning."
"Hey." you waved back as you sit up. "Last night was nice." you commented, and he nodded in agreement.
"It was." he said, but seemed hesitant. Lifting his body up to lean on his elbows, he looked at you. "I didn't... feel it, though."
You let out a groan of relief. "Thank God, because me neither."
He laughed. "It was really good, though." he trailed off.
He lifted his hand up to the back of your neck and pulled you close to his face. Kissing him was hot, he didn't leave room for it to be an innocent gesture. He moved slowly to press your body down on the bed as he turned to be on top of you.
"You're so fucking hot." he almost growled.
As you felt him suck in your neck, you moaned at the sensation from the contact. "Same for you." you managed to spill out.
He backed away a little and stared right back into your eyes. "I don't mind keeping contact as a friend, but I'd love if we can keep doing this."
"Agreed." you quickly answered before bringing him back to the crook of your neck, already in need of feeling him.
"Fuck, so eager." he rasped out, leaving a couple of sloppy kisses along your throat. "You're into morning sex, aren't you?
"You talk too much." you groaned, going back to kissing him.
His phone went off. It distracted you for a second, but you rapidly went back to business as Felix started to massage your thigh. He was about to go further, when the ringtone went off again. With a loud sigh, he separated his body from yours and went to pick up his device. Answering, he still kept touching you, leaving you vulnerable in all ways.
"Yes?"
"Felix, I get L/N is hot, but try to keep quiet?" you heard Han say through the phone.
Felix stopped touching you as a frown made its way on his face. "What do you mean?"
"My room is next to hers, I can hear you two fuck."
A blush crept on your cheeks, both from embarrassment and anger. Did he really have the guts to listen to you in such an intimate moment?
"Well, don't listen?" Felix replied in a small voice.
"Trust me, I would, but you two are loud as fuck and the walls are thin like paper."
That meant you would have heard him if he slept with the girl, but you didn't. You couldn't get why this reassured you.
"Alright, sorry." Felix breathed out, passing a hand through his silver locks. "Are you still up for shopping later?"
"Yeah, for sure. Meet me there at 11?"
You looked at the clock and it was already 9.
"Yes. See you there, mate." He hung up and gave you an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry."
You shrugged. "I'm here for another month or so, we can definitely do this again."
He gave you a satisfied smirk. "I'll wait. But for now, how do you feel about working you up a little?"
You huffed. "I'm definitely keeping you around just for that."
Minutes later, you were even more of a mess than the previous night as you let out uncontrollable gasps and moans. Felix did take care of you afterwards, making you a coffee from the machine in the corner of the room.
"You seem to have a lot of experience." you complimented as you took the mug he gave you.
He shook his head. "Not so much, actually. I recently broke up with my now-ex fiancée."
You winced at the thought before drinking your coffee. "I'm so sorry."
"It's nothing. I caught her cheating and it wasn't the first time."
"That's even worse..." you mumbled.
"It is. It sucked a lot. It's one of the reasons why I needed to leave Australia for a bit, change scenery."
"Understandable really." you nodded.
"What about you? How come are you in the middle of nowhere with your hotel suite right next to your so-called enemy?" he questioned.
You rolled your eyes, already annoyed at the simple thought of him. "Pure coincidence, really. We did agree to put all of it aside for the time of the vacation, but he does get on my nerves a lot."
"Jisung can be insufferable, I'll give you that." he laughed. "But he's not that bad. In fact, he might me among the few real people I've met here. And trust me, I've talked to almost everyone in this hotel."
You shook your head while laughing with him. "I have no doubt he is, but we'll never get along. It's like that and always has been."
"If you say so."
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six. - ten months and three weeks ago -
You hooked up one more time with Felix before he had to fly back to his home country. Promising each other to keep contact, you watched him leave the hotel after he hugged you tightly.
"Already missing your boo?" Han joked.
He had tagged along with sending Felix off with you, much to your displeasure. This was the first time you saw him again after the party at the beach.
"I'm sure he told you it was purely platonic." you spat out before heading back inside.
"I'm kidding." he said in a much softer tone as he ran to catch up with your speed. "Are you coming to the bonfire tonight?"
You lifted an eyebrow at him. "There is a bonfire?"
"Yeah, another thing the hotel is hosting."
You shrugged your shoulders. "I suppose I can go check it out."
"I'll be there if you want to join me."
You chuckled at him. "If it's to watch you with bimbo girl again, no thanks."
To this, a smirk slowly appeared on his face. "Jealous much, princess?"
You wanted to punch him. "Of course, I would totally be heartbroken to see you rub your dick against a fake booty." you exclaimed in a sarcastic way.
He deadpanned at you. "I get the point, L/N."
"Then you understand I'll most likely not be joining you tonight."
"I'm the only person you know here apart from Felix. And since he just left, you have no other option than sticking with me."
"Logical, indeed." you replied. "Alright, I suppose I could use some company, although I doubt you'll be able to entertain me much, Mr. Han."
"You'll see."
You had finally reached your suites by then. Thus, he walked inside while not forgetting to send a wink your way. You felt your face getting warmer as you went in your own.
With a deep breath to shake it off, you walked to your luggage in order to inspect the few articles of clothing that would be appropriate for tonight. Your dresses were either too tight or you had already wore a couple of them. There was no way you were going to show up in pants. Then, you spotted a pair of short shorts with a tight tank top laying next to it. Your mind worked as it figured if it would be a good outfit as you imagined it with your oversized knitted cardigan. This seemed to work.
A few hours went by and you had chosen to add a few necklaces to add to your look. Boringly staring at the television in front of your bed, you didn't notice it was nearing the start of the bonfire. With a loud pounding at your door, you let out an annoyed grunt before answering and letting the man in.
"You look rather lovely." he commented.
His clothing wasn't different from usual, apart from the sleeveless shirt he had on that made his arms look very fit. His hair was in a messier state that what you had seen before but it fitted him well.
"And you look like some fuckboy." you responded and he huffed at you. "May you lead the way, please?"
"Sure, ma'am."
He didn't wait for you. He didn't even look back at you as he left to head towards the elevator. Not wanting for him to close the doors in your face, you hurried to join him with a little sprint. You truly asked yourself why you hadn't chopped his head yet.
"So courteous of you." you joked, already out of breath from your running.
"I try to be." he said with the same damn smug look he always had on. "Stamina is not your forte?"
"I don't have time for maintaining these types of things."
The elevator opened and, this time, he extended his arm out for you to hold on. Reluctantly, you gripped onto it before he started to walk towards the beach. Well, towards the bar. Now you were really wondering how he hadn't had a harsh hangover yet.
"Shall I buy you a margarita?" he asked as you were getting closer to the barman.
"Sex on the beach."
"Freaky." he hummed, resulting to you giving him a punch on the stomach with your elbow.
He grunted at the contact, but didn't say more. He left you alone as he went to order your drinks. In the meantime, you watched the young adults partying near the already growing fire. You didn't think you would be experiencing something like this again after college, even less after you entered your father's company. Frankly, this was the first time you went to social events like these.
"Here." Han held out the cocktail to you while drinking his own. "I haven't had a sex on the beach in years. You've got good taste, L/N."
You chuckled. "I stick to what I know, that's all." you shrugged.
You began to walk again but in a slower pace to not spill out the liquids in your possession. Much to your excitement, you spotted a group of three men sitting on logs in a small circle as one played the guitar. Not even consulting Han first, you made your way to them. Although your sudden change of direction took him by surprise, he followed you as you greeted the young men.
"Good evening." you waved and one of them smiled at you brightly. "I'm Y/N, and this is my..." you paused for an instant, searching for what you should be calling him.
"We're business partners." Han finished for you. "I'm Han Jisung."
The guy holding the guitar opened his eyes wide at the mention of the name. "As in the future chairman of Han techs?" he questioned, to which Han nodded. "You had a brief time in the music industry, am I wrong?"
This took you by surprise, especially when you saw Han acquiesce. The man, who later introduced himself as Seungmin, told him he followed his platform back then and had been trying to learn the guitar for a while. You watched your companion of the evening sit next to him as he explained the chords and more. You had never seen him speak with such passion, it was almost attractive. The simple fact he knew how the play the guitar would have been good enough for you to be interested if he wasn't Han Jisung.
"And you're Y/N L/N of the L/N Corporation?" the guy sitting next to Seungmin asked.
"That's me." you said before sitting down next to him.
"I'm Changbin, and this is my friend Minho."
You bowed at him as he waved at you kindly. He focused back on watching Seungmin and Han interact.
"I'm surprised to see you with a Han, I thought your families didn't have the greatest relationship." Changbin stated.
"We didn't intend to be coming here at the same time." you briefly explained. "I wouldn't be around him in normal circumstances."
"I believe you, don't worry." he laughed.
"I heard you wanted to release more music." Seungmin said to Han who was the one holding the instrument now.
He chuckled awkwardly as he tuned the strings. "I won't be able to do that anymore."
"Why not?" you asked.
His head shot up to look back at you. There was glistening in his irises, which was probably the reflection of the fire. He sent you a knowing smile.
"Work." he responded simply, his eyes still on you.
It was as if this simple word meant a thousand things. There was something you couldn't understand in his tone, but you got one part right; he gave up music for the company.
"Play something."
Startled by your request, he blinked a couple of times before letting out a quiet cough. "I'm sure I'm rusty."
"Please." Seungmin insisted. "It'd be great to hear you perform acoustically."
Sighing in defeat, he adjusted his posture. Placing his fingers correctly, he frowned as concentration took over. Then, he strummed the strings which left a beautiful sound. It sounded oddly familiar, but you let him play. Just when you thought he couldn't have amazed you more, he started to sing. Now, in a normal context, you'd say you fell in love right there and then. But it's Han Jisung. So, you were being content with simply enjoying the melody for now. He was talented, that was evident, but you would never say it in his face.
He sang the outro of the song with his gaze on yours. He noticed the pink appearing on your face and he didn't want to assume he was the one making you feel like this. Embarrassed, you looked at the bottom of your glass that was already empty. Han ended the song beautifully and the boys clapped their hands.
"Thank you, J.One." Seungmin snickered as he patted Han's back.
It hit you. The familiarity you had with the track was because it was one on your playlist, credited by J.One.
"You're that rapper dude who sometimes sings that I keep hearing on the radio?" you exclaimed in total shock.
As shocked by your words as you were, he nodded. "My father doesn't know. Please, Y/N, I beg you to not tell him."
Y/N... it sounded pretty coming out of his mouth. Without even knowing, you did grow familiar to one another since the beginning of this vacation. It was only a matter of time before you dropped the honorifics, such as calling each other by your last name.
"I won't." you smiled at him.
This was the first genuine smile he got from you that was actually directed to him. His heart skipped a beat. He wished he had seen it before, it made you glow.
"Thank you." he said softly.
As he stared between the two of you, Minho coughed to break the moment. "How about we join the actual party?" he prompted and the others stood up as to agree with his suggestion.
Changbin offered you a hand, but you kindly declined. "Are you sure?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sure, thank you. I'll join you all later.'
"If you say so." he shrugged before running to Seungmin and Minho.
Han, however, was still at the same spot on the log with the guitar laying next to him. He watched the gathering around the fire and sighed loudly. You gave him a curious look, but didn't dare to ask what was on his mind. It wasn't your place to do so. As if he would be telling you anyway.
"We have three weeks left." he said no one in particular, his stare still on the dancing people. "It goes by so fast."
"It does." you affirmed. "I can't wait to be back home, though. It can get lonely here."
"I'm here." he pointed out.
"I wouldn't call you an enjoyable presence."
He winced, faking to be hurt by your words. "I can't blame you. Still hurts."
"You'll get over it, whiny boy." you shook your head in exasperation.
Another silence took over. Rather than wanting to shoot yourself for having him around, it almost felt like you were at home. His presence alone, whether you liked it or not, was comforting.
"For real, though." he spoke again. "I don't want to go back."
"Why not?"
He moved his stare towards you. "You know why."
You shrugged. "It was our fate since the day we were born."
"Exactly." he snapped. "All of our life is already planned in every way even before we can speak. I didn't ask to work for my dad, and I surely didn't decide on hating you."
For the first time, you heard him out. You were listening to the real Han Jisung. In a way, you had to agree with him; life within a world like yours wasn't easy. People were expecting so much of you, the pressure was constant. In all honesty, you thought Han was used to this lifestyle and actually enjoyed it. You were proven wrong.
"If I'm being truthful, I would have never hated you in the first place." he continued. "I mean, I have no valid reason."
You felt a lump form in your throat. "You know your father will kill you for even addressing me like this."
"Like what?" he cocked his head to the side.
"So casually..." you murmured.
He laughed a little. "You're quite the only here who can relate to what I'm going through. I'm simply taking the opportunity to rant, that's all."
"We are rivals, Han."
"Jisung."
You blinked twice. "Pardon me?"
"Call me Jisung, please."
You nodded, uncomfortable by his request. "Well, Jisung, while we are at it, should I complain as well?"
He gestured to you. "Be my guest."
"Okay..." you breathed in. "I wish I could hang out with Chan like we used to back in college. Ever since he got to his new role, I barely see him out of his office."
He hummed as you talked. "Right, Bang..." he trailed off. "You really love him, don't you?"
You frowned at him. "He's a close friend, yeah. Probably the only one I have, to be honest."
He broke into laughter. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but this is kind of sad."
"Who are you to say that? The only friend I am aware you have is Felix Lee." you scoffed.
He suddenly went back to his serious face, now sending you a glare. "I hate you."
"Breaking news." you said sarcastically.
"It was a joke." he snorted. "I literally just told you I don't really."
You realized you didn't get that this was what he had insinuated when he said he wouldn't hate you if it wasn't for his family. Thinking about it now, you also couldn't pinpoint a good argument on why you couldn't get along. Frankly, you had every aspect to be bonding: both heirs of grand companies, both pressured by the public, and both on a vacation to run away from it all. Adding the fact he was able to keep your holiday interesting in a way, he was fine really.
"I don't hate you either."
This seemed to take him by surprise. "You don't?"
You shook your head as a no. "I grew up hating your family, I naturally assumed you are as much of an asshole. I mean, you are, but in a nice way."
"Thank you?" he said, sounding more like a question. "I don't agree with most of what they are doing. I would rather be doing my music than working for them."
You chuckled. "I would have never guessed you are J.One."
"Well, I don't go around telling people. I'm surprised Seungmin knew, he must have been following my stuff for a while."
Talking about him, Seungmin had ran back to you. Taking your hands in his, he forced you up to go join the others. You argued you didn't feel like partying, but gave in eventually. Soon after, it was Jisung's turn to get fetched by Minho. Changbin had bought some beers for you all and you jammed to the music as you drank and enjoyed the warmth of the fire. At some point, you didn't notice how, but Jisung was casually swirling you around in a messy manner, the sand not cooperating with the stability of his feet. As for you, you were laughing uncontrollably for pretty much nothing as he kept guiding your body along the beats coming from the speakers. You hadn't had this much fun in a while, it felt amazing.
To your disappointment, the night came to an end. People dispersed on the beach as they regrouped in smaller crowds. Not much dancing was happening. You saw most of them heading back to the hotel, Minho and Seungmin among them. Changbin stayed behind as to make sure you and Jisung were doing okay. The man had one too many drinks, but you were surprisingly able to walk in a straight line still.
"Is he always like this?" Changbin laughed as Han tripped over his own feet again.
"I wouldn't know." you snickered with him. "But I'll have to admit, he's kind of cute being all lost and shit."
"I heard that!" Jisung smirked, now standing.
He clumsily joined you and slumped his arm around your small figure to get some balance. "Easy there." you laughed out.
"I'm fine."
Changbin helped you bring him to his room as you laid him on his bed. He argued with you that he didn't need to be taken care of, but the way he stood on the mattress told you otherwise. You assure Changbin that you could handle him from then on and he left the two of you alone, doubt still plastered on his face.
"Do you need anything?" you asked the drunk man as he attempted to walk up to you.
"I need you with me." he pouted which was too adorable for your liking.
"I'm already here with you."
In response, he grabbed your arm and dragged you to his bed along with him. Though he tried to do it carefully, he pushed you under the convers and tucked you in as if you were a toddler. You didn't fight back.
"I meant to stay with me for tonight." he grinned before going into the blankets next to you. "Do you like Felix?"
The abrupt change of topic caught you by surprise. Slowly, you moved your gaze to him as questions popped in your head. Was he in his right mind?
"I think he's a great guy, yeah." you responded although you were quite lost.
"He was a good fuck?"
You slapped him across his chest. "This is so inappropriate."
He scoffed. "Is it? I heard your moans for hours that night. Consider yourself lucky I only complained once."
"Were you listening all along? You pervert..."
You could not see his face due to the lack of lighting, but you could easily tell he was rolling his eyes at you. "Not intentionally." he sighed. "But quite honestly, I hated hearing you scream his name."
"Was I that annoying?" you joked.
"No, the opposite."
To this, you stood up from the pillow under your head and tried to find his eyes within the darkness. With the little light coming from the moon, you made out his features and saw some sort of sadness. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now.
"Sorry, what?" you whispered.
It was his turn to get up from the mattress until his face was to your level. He put his hand up to your face, hesitant, but placed it to the side of your head in the end.
"If you haven't figured it out yet, L/N..." he started but stop when his breath got caught in his throat.
He was nervous. You could tell.
"What didn't I figure out?" you asked softly.
Your breathing wasn't doing any better than his. It was oddly uneven while you were almost shaking from how vulnerable he made you feel. Stroking the apple of your cheeks, he took a deep breath.
"I like you."
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seven. - now -
"A pleasure, Mr. Bang." Han bowed to your friend.
You were still on the couch. While people would immediately think you were napping, you were more awake than ever. The simple sound of his voice was enough to make you fall asleep on a usual basis, but you felt like it could not keep you more conscious at the moment.
"The feeling is reciprocated." Chan bowed as well. "I apologize for Miss L/N sleeping in my office. We had some paperwork this morning and she didn't get much sleep."
Han hummed. "Not surprising considering her reputation."
It stung. Jisung would be the most caring and soft person when you would be alone together. But when put in a situation where a scandal would break if they ever say you interact with your supposed competitor, he was a totally different person. His words were harsh with no feeling. He was like the Han Jisung you used to despise so much.
"What reputation, may I ask?" Chan asked.
"Has she not been seen out with many gentlemen these past few months?"
He was referring to you father's selection of potential husbands he had forced you to go on dates with.
Chan let out an amused chuckle. "You're assuming she spent the night with them?"
"I'm simply talking about what is said."
Chan paused. How much you wished to open your eyes to see how he was reacting.
"Shall we jump to business, Mr. Han?" he changed the subject.
"Right." he coughed. "I apologize."
"I'd have to say congratulations for your new position."
"Thank you very much, I only hope I can be as great of a man as my father was."
"I know the feeling." Chan sighed.
They started to discuss new arrangements and all. You did doze off to sleep eventually, though it took you a while as you were trying to ignore the mixed feelings you had from when Jisung was bad mouthing you. An hour later, Chan woke you up, telling you he was alone now and that you should get home to get ready for the evening.
"Can I crash at your place?" you pouted.
"Y/N..." he said in a stern voice.
"Your bed is much more comfortable!" you argued. "And I don't want to face my dad. I bet he'll be talking to me about the important figures we'll see tonight and I am in no mood to listen to him."
He shook his head. "I have to get ready myself, I'm sorry. I promise I'll be sticking to you like glue for the entire ceremony, though."
"Oof." you made a face. "That's a tough promise you're making there, Mr. Bang. Plus, I know you'll have to speak with Han again. Don't involve me in this."
He let out an exasperate sigh. "What is it with you two? It's as if the hate sky rocked since last summer. What even happened there for you two to be so... disgusted by the other?"
Your mouth went agape. Staring at him blankly, you didn't know what to say. As much as you had tried to hide your relationship that was far from hatred, maybe you had overdone it.
"What are you talking about?"
He sighed again, visibly irritated by your cluelessness. "You know, Y/N. You always talk about him and throw whatever insult that comes to your mind. You didn't even leave just now when I told you he was coming."
Yeah, Chan definitely knew.
"Nothing happened last year."
"Bullshit." he muttered with a 'tsk'.
You got up from the sofa abruptly as you grabbed your purse. "I better get ready."
You stormed out of his office, leaving him no time to stop you from doing so. You felt horrible lying to him like this, but there was no way you were going to let anyone know about you and Jisung. Maybe this was your sign that it was all too risky. You should have done what you told yourself to do when you came back from vacation: stop everything with him. Why did you fall into his trap when he had called you not even 24 hours later while convincing you that it could be a secret?
"Hi, Y/N." Jeongin beamed at you as you arrived home.
"Is my dad here?" you asked, not even having the energy to speak properly to him.
"He left earlier. He went to the convention center in advance."
"Alright." you exhaled. "Want to help me out with getting ready?"
His eyes grew bigger. "I could call Miss Shin instead, no?"
You laughed as he mentioned one of your colleagues. "Jeongin, you're more than capable to help me. I know you like fashion anyway."
"I do..." he confirmed. "But this... it's not very my job to do so."
You rolled your eyes. "You're being dramatic. I'm asking you as a friend."
He ended up agreeing. In your room, he laid out the dress he bought for you on your bed. He asked you to pick out shoes to go along with it while he allowed himself to go through your jewelry box.
"Hoops?" he asked while showing you the pair of earrings. "And this golden chain?"
"Sure." you shrugged. "Do you think I should go with the black heels or the platforms? No, wait. I have these navy ones here." you exclaimed, rummaging through your rack of heels.
"Black ones are fine." he laughed. "I don't think navy matches well with red."
"Good point."
As you picked the shoes and brought them next to the gown, Jeongin spoke again. "I heard you yesterday." You froze in action. "Well, in fact, it was not the first time I heard you discuss with Mr. Han over the phone."
You were fucked.
"As in..." you started but couldn't even finish your sentence properly.
"As in I know you two are faking your little dislike towards each other."
You mentally cursed at yourself for not being careful enough. This only confirmed one thing in your mind: you needed to put an end to this as soon as you could.
"I'll stop this tonight, I swear."
Jeongin chuckled. "I really don't care, Y/N. The past year was the happiest I've ever seen you. If I were you, I wouldn't cut out the only thing that brought me comfort in a really long time."
You bit down your lip, hesitant. "I have to. I'm sure he already got a lot to prove as a new chairman by now. If we keep this going, this will only mark his image for life."
"You do you." he breathed out. "I'm just saying that you do seem fond of him and that it's a shame you'd want to throw it all away."
You didn't say anything. Instead, you picked the dress up and walked to your mirror in the corner of your room. Putting it up in front of your figure, you couldn't help but see yourself dressed like this with Jisung by your side. That would be the perfect picture, if it wasn't for your families. It was an impossible picture.
"Do you want help with your hair?" Jeongin grinned.
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eight. - ten months and a week ago -
You cursed in a mumble at the sight of the man. As you were about to turn around to avoid him, he spotted you before you could do anything. Excusing himself to the woman he was already trying to woo, he ran to where you were standing.
"How delightful to see you here." he said cheerfully, panting from his little run.
"The feeling is the same, Mr. Ko." you faked a smile. "I didn't expect to be seeing you again."
"I had to come and apologize about my behaviour the other day. It was grandly inappropriate if me."
"It was." you agreed.
"If you allow me, I'd love to invite you for a drink."
You smiled awkwardly, until you felt a hand come around your waist.
"If she gets a drink tonight, it would be from me solemnly."
Mr. Ko's gaze went straight to Jisung as blush crept on his face. Bowing apologetically to him, he mumbled some sort of excuses before taking off to where he was previously sat at.
"Great, my knight in shining armour." you groaned as you slapped Jisung's hand away from your body. "I had this under control."
"I know, babe, but it was my time to shine." he smirked at you, placing his hand back on you. "Don't act like you didn't like me getting all protective."
"Going on that date with you last week was a mistake." you grumbled before walking away from him.
"Baby." he whined, catching up to you.
"You're such a child."
He grabbed your wrist to stop you and spun you around, your body now clashing to his chest. Before you could process a reaction, his lips found their way to yours as he laid a small peck.
"You love me like that." he said softly.
You slapped his chest and got away from his grip. "I said not in public." you nagged.
He looked around for a moment and pecked your lips again.
"Han Jisung!" you yelled out.
"There is no one."
He was now holding your hand, his thumb rubbing it gently. You scanned your surroundings for a second, and finally gave in as you let him pull you into a loving kiss.
"You do know they use this lobby for wedding ceremonies, right?" he said once he pulled away.
"Already thinking about marrying me?" you perked an eyebrow.
"I told you, princess, I've been in love with you for years."
With a huff, you started to head towards your room, him having abandoned his some days ago. "Yeah, well, keep dreaming. Once we come back home, this arrangement is over."
He shook his head violently. "Stop bringing it up, please."
"We're leaving in a week, Ji." you exhaled in frustration. "We have to face reality."
"Or." he started, taking both of your hands which stopped you from walking. "We could enjoy the remaining time we have together and worry about the rest later?"
You let go of his hands as you rolled your eyes, going straight back to where your room was. He followed behind closely and you let the door open for him to come in as well.
"Y/N, please." he said, closing the door behind him.
Throwing your belongings on the coffee table, you acted as if you were not listening. Turning on the television as you let yourself fall on the couch was his limit. He took the remote from you and aggressively turned off the screen. With a glare, he threw it away next to you before putting his hands on his hips.
"Are you avoiding this conversation?"
You groaned. "I'm not. It's just..." you cut yourself by rubbing your face. "This is messed up."
"I'll give you that." he sighed and went to sit with you. "We can stop if you want."
"I don't want to stop." you admitted. "But that's the issue. I'm simply trying to prepare myself for what's coming."
He put his hand on your thigh as a way to comfort you. "I know it sucks, which is why I'm suggesting we should only enjoy the time we have left as much as we can. Can you do that for me?"
You moved to meet his eyes and they were filled with hope.
When he confessed two weeks ago, you hadn't realized yet how sincere he was. It wasn't easy to perceive considering he had almost passed out after spilling out the words 'I like you'. Still, the morning after, you had the courage to ask him about it and that's when he told you everything. From the first time he saw you and thought you were simply gorgeous to when you defended yourself to the journalists by saying you didn't need your father's help to get to where you were now. He admired your honesty, your journey in your work, but mostly, he admired your sensitivity. He wasn't blind, he saw how you took care of Chan when he became CEO. The man was close to a mental breakdown until you came in with the biggest smile to cheer him up. He loved how unbothered you could be, how brilliant you were, and how you remained respectful to him even with your disagreements.
So seeing him almost sacrifice his career for the sake of being with you even if it meant for only a week or so, you could not resist it. Because, frankly, you had fallen for him as well. For the sensitive and ambitious man you grew to know.
"Okay." you nodded. "We'll worry about after later."
He smiled and brought you closer, kissing you for the hundredth time of the day. Gosh, how you loved the way he kissed you. It was always filled with such care and love, you were wondering how he was even the same man you thought to hate.
"I spotted this karaoke restaurant-bar in the city." he said, still holding you tight.
"What about it?"
"Should we have a date instead of ordering food?"
You looked at him incredulously. "I thought you hated going out."
"I don't mind if I get to treat you some good food."
You slapped his chest once more, a way to hide the blush appearing on your face. "You're so cheesy."
It took you both no time to get ready and dress up for the occasion. Jisung had called a cab so you wouldn't have to walk all the way there. It was crowded, to say the least. It looked like the karaoke had already started as you saw two girls in front of the mic with drinks in their hands. They sang with their tone very off and it wasn't the most pleasing thing to hear when arriving. Jisung tugged your arm and led you to a table a bit further. A waiter came up to you, asking you if you wanted something to drink to start the evening.
"Just a beer is fine." Jisung smiled at him.
"Margarita for me."
He nodded before leaving you with the menus.
"Back at it with the margaritas?" Jisung teased at you.
You shrugged. "Gets me drunk the fastest."
"Go easy on the alcohol tonight."
You frowned. "So you care about my well being?"
"No, I just don't want to deal with your hangover tomorrow." he said with a smug on his face.
"Jerk." you huffed.
When the waiter came back with your drinks, you took the opportunity to order your food as well. It was nothing too extravagant: some fries with chicken. A few people had sung on the stage and you saw a group of girls marking their names on the lineup list. Jisung seemed to notice as he got up and stood behind them. Turning to look at you, you saw the smirk on his face.
"What are you doing?" you mouthed to him.
He only shrugged and turned back his attention on the iPad where you could sign up. He spoke with the man hosting the show for a brief moment and noted down something on the screen. As he walked back to your table, you were shaking your head in exasperation.
"What did you do, now?" you said with a warning tone.
"You'll see, baby." he replied with a wink. "Let's enjoy our food for now."
You dug into your meal, not even caring about your manners anymore as you picked up the chicken drumstick with your hands. Jisung was as messy as you were, chewing on the meat. His cheeks were full, it was adorable. You saw some barbecue sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth. Although you knew he was probably going to mock you for it, you grabbed his face with your clean hand and placed a kiss on his lips. Licking the remaining of the sauce, you hummed at the taste.
Meanwhile, Jisung's mind had stopped working. This might had been the hottest thing he'd seen you do, especially since you gave him a flirtish look while your tongue was wiping off the food on your lips.
"Han Jisung and Y/N L/N." the host called out, taking the both of you by surprise.
You rushed to clean up your mouths and hands before walking up to the stage. You knew Jisung was a good singer, but as for you, it was another story. In all honesty, you hadn't sung in years.
"You chose Volcano by J.One." the host read out loud as confusion took place on his face. "Never heard of this one... Oh well, the stage is yours, lovebirds."
You went to look at Jisung in panic, but instead, you came face to face with a microphone that he was holding out to you. You did know the song, you had even added it to your favourites.
"This is like the worst of your songs that you could have picked out." you complained.
"I know, it's a hard one, but I know you have it in your playlist." he said cheekily.
As you were about to protest, the music started to play as the lyrics appeared on the screen in front of you. You couldn't move, taken over by fear and nervousness. But Jisung was doing perfectly fine. He was in his element. As the first verse started, he sang along in a mesmerizing voice. He was simply amazing. You were almost lost in him when he nudged your arm, signaling for you to sing along with him. Even though you were frightened to do so, his presence alone gave you the confidence to bring the mic close to your mouth and sing along with him. You were a little off, but Jisung encouraged you to continue and didn't even bother to correct you. The song came to an end and he did not hesitate before kissing you softly before bringing you into a warm hug.
"You did great, princess." he whispered in your ear.
That night, let's say things got steamy. Walking back clumsily in your room, he was almost biting your lips as the eagerness took over him. With your arms wrapped around his neck, you jumped around his waist while he held you firmly by the thighs. Although you had made out tons of times already, he never wanted to go further, saying he wanted to make it special. Tonight seemed to be it.
"Was it better with Felix?" he rasped out as he walked to your bedroom.
"Jealous, Han?" you snickered at him as he put you down on the edge of the bed carefully.
"I am." he said with confidence. "I'll make you feel good, baby."
"We'll see." you laughed.
To sum it up, he did way better than Felix, even when you thought it would be hard to do so. While Felix was rough, Jisung was careful and liked to build up the tension instead of going straight for it. It was frustrating in a way, but it did make the actual action ten times more worth it.
You woke up in his arms, fully naked, and his eyes were still closed shut. With his lips slightly parted open, he looked like a child taking his nap. Turning around to get a better view of him, it was enough to wake him up. He made a pout with his mouth while opening his eyes in a squint, taken aback from the morning sunlight coming right on his face.
"Rough morning?" you chuckled.
"I don't want to get up." he grumbled and brought you closer to him. "Let's stay in bed today."
"All day?"
"All day." he affirmed before kissing your temple. "Unless you had something else in mind."
"Well, you kind of made me unable to use my legs." you said, recalling the previous night. "Staying in bed it is."
"You asked for it."
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nine. - ten months ago -
Six days turned into five, that turned into four, that turned into three, until it got to zero. The day you had tried to ignore for the past week. Your flight wasn't scheduled until the afternoon, so you had plenty of time to pack your baggage. But the morning was rough.
"Coffee or tea?" Jisung asked casually as he stood in front of the counter.
Your lack of answer meant a hundred of things. As he looked up to see you, you were standing in front of the sliding door to the balcony, not moving a bit. He didn't need to ask you what was on your mind, he knew it already. With a loud sigh, he walked up to you and gave you a back-hug as he put his head on your shoulder.
"I'll miss this view." you breathed out. "The water is so pretty."
"It is." he hummed. "I'll make you a tea, okay?" he said and placed a peck on your cheek.
Again, you didn't answer. He let go of you and went ahead with preparing your beverages. Before you noticed time had passed, he was back with a mug that he held out to you. You mouthed a small 'thanks' but didn't take your eyes off the scenery.
"You know we can keep contact, right?" he broke the silence.
You shook your head. "In another life, yes."
It cut right through his heart, you were right. He hated how right you were.
"We could try?"
"Jisung, stop. How would this even work? We get caught once and it'll be enough for us to get disowned." you rationalized. "This sucks, I know, but it's our reality."
"You rather get married off some rich old man?" he joked but it had some truth in it.
"It looks like this is what is waiting for me, yes. Or Chan." you shrugged. "It has been the plan since birth, just like yours to become chairman is."
"I don't want it."
You scoffed. "Yeah, well, do you have a choice? We're stuck in this."
How much he wanted to shut you up and tell you that things could be different. He wanted to beg you to not go back home and run away with him. Your thing lasted barely a month, but it was enough for him to know he wanted you with him, even if it meant to disappoint his family.
"I just wish it was easier."
"I know."
He slowly came closer to you and put his hand on your jaw which made you turn your focus on him. The tears you were holding in were finally streaming down your face as you had eye contact with him. His touch, despite being a simple gesture, made you weak.
"I'm sorry." he almost whispered. "It's my fault we started this while knowing perfectly it couldn't happen."
You nodded slowly. "Yeah, fuck you for that." you chuckled. "I really should have gotten with Felix instead."
He let out a huff. "You're still a pain in the ass."
"Just getting back to my old antics." you shrugged with a smirk appearing through your crying face.
"I see how it is, L/N." he played along. "Is there a way for me to shut that annoying mouth of yours?"
"Just try to make me shut up."
He then kissed you. You started to feel something wet on your cheeks, but it wasn't your own tears. It was him. He was crying. A knot formed in your belly as it started to truly hit how this was the last time you'd be able to kiss him. You hated how easy you fell for him and how cruel the whole situation was. When he backed away, he still leaned his forehead on yours as he plunged his gaze into yours.
"We don't mention this to anyone." he said and you could clearly hear the pain in his voice.
"This never happened." you confirmed.
He gave you a quick peck and let go of you to finish off with packing. You were still standing at the same spot, unable to process fully what was happening. Your mind was elsewhere, too preoccupied with the memories of your vacation with him.
"Can I keep your hoodie?" you blurted out.
He stared at you in confusion. "My big white hoodie? Why?"
"A souvenir I guess?"
His mouth turned into as smile and he grabbed his sweatshirt before throwing it your way. "It looks better on you, anyway."
The way to the airport was silent. In the taxicab, the driver had put some music to fill in the lack of discussion. In a discreet way, Jisung reached his hand out to hold yours and gave it a squeeze. Chills travelled down your body as you fixated your linked fingers. The effect he had on you was insane.
The ride was too quick for your liking as the driver pulled over in front of the airport. He kindly helped the two of you with getting your luggage out of his trunk. Jisung paid him and you were now off to find your flight. Since he had one stop to do for a work meeting in Europe, he wasn't going to be coming back home on the same plane. And so, here came the grand moment you had both dreaded for.
He straightened up his posture to face you properly and an emotionless expression took over. Still, you could tell how much he hated acting like this. You put on the same façade and bowed at him respectfully. You didn't want to take the risk of getting caught by someone.
"I sure hope you have a safe flight, Han."
"I hope the same for you, L/N."
Calling each other like this used to feel normal, but it had become such a foreign thing to do. It felt wrong, impersonal, almost mean. It was weird.
"I'll see you around." you nodded your head at him.
With a hum, he passed by next to you closely to head towards the gate he needed to be at. Even if people would see it as him bumping into you intentionally, he still took the time to briefly catch your hand. You felt something cold land into it. Before you could question him about it, he was already far as he walked quickly away from you. You looked at your hand and saw something shiny dangle. Bringing it close to your face, you saw what he had dropped.
It was a simple golden chain accessorized with a charm: a rose.
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ten. - now -
Your father had sent a limousine to come pick you up. Of course, you had to have a grand entrance at the ceremony. There would be journalists and cameras, and so it was primordial for you to be looking at your very best. Jeongin helped you get in the car like a gentleman. You would have asked him to come with you, but the guy did deserve a break. He kissed your cheek goodbye and wished you an enjoyable evening.
When your limousine arrived in front of the convention center, you could already see cameras flashes and microphones being held out towards your direction. Taking a deep breath, your door opened as your driver offered his hand to help you out. You put on a fake smile for the pictures but denied any kind of interviews. You were not in the mood for that. As you entered the building, you were impressed by how Chan's team had decorated the place. It was very formal but it still had a hint of comfort. Before you knew it, your father had spotted you. Welcoming you with arms open, he gave you a small hug.
"Y/N, my dear, I am happy you made it here safely." he grinned. "I would love to present you to someone."
You deadpanned at him. "Another of your potential suitors for me?"
"He is young and vibrant. An excellent businessman for his age, I shall mention."
As you grumbled under your breath in annoyance, your father brought you over to a group of men, all of them wearing a tuxedo. They all looked the same...
Then, you caught a glimpse of a man who was visibly younger than most of them. He stood closely to who you assumed to be his parents as he bowed instinctively to the others. Upon seeing your father, he smiled politely.
"Mr. L/N." he bowed.
"Hi, Mr. Hwang." your father beamed at him. "I found my daughter that I wanted to introduce you to."
You shut your eyes in internal pain. He really had to present you like you were some kind of product to sell? You never liked being your father's pet, even less now that he just wanted to marry you off someone wealthy.
"A pleasure to meet you." Mr. Hwang nodded his head at you. "I'm Hyunjin."
"Nice to meet you." you replied back with a bow. "I believe I saw you in a publicity recently, no?"
He laughed embarrassingly. "Right, I'm a model."
Ah. He was one of those guys.
"I assume you were invited to help with Mr. Bang's publicity team."
"Exactly." he confirmed. "You know the business well."
"I actually am about to become CEO of L/N Corporation."
He bowed again. "I apologize, I really didn't mean it like that, I was simply trying to make the conversation."
You knew he was being honest, he seemed too clueless of a man to be saying such things intentionally. Maybe models weren't as bad as you thought.
"It's okay, really." you chuckled. "Have you met Mr. Bang yet?" He shook his head. "He's a close friend of mine. I can present you to him."
His eyes went wide. "Really?"
His mother nudged his arm for being informal and he coughed shyly as he apologized.
"It's fine, really. Come, I'll introduce you."
You took his hand in yours and led him towards Chan who had a drink with some of his colleagues. He noticed you were approaching him and excused himself to come give you a big hug.
"Well, aren't you pretty today? It's good that you look pleasing to the eye once in a while." he joked.
"Thank you, Chan, really." you grumbled. "Anyway, I wanted you to meet Hwang Hyunjin."
The latter bowed politely to your friend. "Good evening, Mr. Bang. I don't know if you remember me, but I did appear in one of your promotion videos once."
Chan shifted to his professional role and nodded as Hyunjin spoke. "I remember. I even asked one of the leading directors to contact you again."
"Really? I haven't heard from them."
You left them at it and walked back to your father who had ended up flirting with one of the ladies from the Bang's engineer team. You understood that he might need someone ever since your mom left, but did he really have to do it during an event like this?"
"Father." you interrupted him and he glared at you.
"Aren't you with Mr. Hwang?"
"I offered to introduce him to Mr. Bang."
He sighed in disappointment. "Alright, maybe Hwang wasn't the right fit." He put his hand on your back and started to walk closer to the bar. "I have someone else I want you to meet."
"Yay." you said in a bored tone. "I think I can pass for this one-"
"Mr. Lee!" you father called out. "May I present to you my daughter."
Mr. Lee turned around at the mention of his name and his eyes fell upon your figure. Immediately, the both of you stared back at each other in pure shock.
"Y/N!" he exclaimed.
"Felix!" you said in the same tone of voice.
He pulled you into a tight hug, leaving your poor father in confusion. "You know each other..." he trailed off.
"Mr. L/N, I met your daughter during her vacation last year."
You dad nodded his head slowly. "I see. I will leave you two reconnect. Call me if you need anything." he said as he put his hand on your shoulder for a brief moment.
As he walked away from you two, you exchanged laughs. "What a coincidence! How is it that you are here and not in Australia?" you questioned him while he offered you a glass of champagne.
"I'm here to do business with Chan. I didn't know you were familiar with him."
"We are literally best friends." you chuckled. "How do you know him?"
"I'm sure he told you he grew up in Australia." You nodded. "We used to be neighbours."
"Wow." you let out in a breath. "Such a small world, uh?"
"It is." he laughed. "Your father is quite a persona. He was bragging about you for a solid ten minutes earlier."
"Oh gosh." you said while hiding your face in embarrassment.
"Yeah, he wasn't being very subtle about his intentions. Let me reassure you right away, I won't ask you to marry me. We already established how we feel about that last year."
You smiled at him. "Thank you, Felix. I'm glad I don't have Chan as my only friend tonight."
He shrugged. "There is Han too." he pointed to nowhere in particular. "I saw him earlier."
You huffed in disgust. "I don't intend to speak with him."
He gave you a soft smile. "Quit it, Y/N. I know about you two."
Your eyes grew bigger and you nudged his arm. "Say it louder... How the hell do you know?"
"Jisung isn't so good with handling these kinds of things on his own. Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone and I think I'm the only one who's aware of what happened."
You were going to snap at Jisung, that was for sure.
"Great..." you muttered under your breath.
"You do realize how in love he is with you, right?" he asked before taking a sip of his champagne.
"Yes, I'm well aware of it. It can't happen, though. There is too much to risk if it gets out in the news."
"Did you know he refused to take his father's spot?"
You almost choked on your drink. You were certain to have heard correctly back in Chan's office that he did, in fact, get the position. What was Felix even saying?
"He did what now?"
Felix couldn't answer. Your dear best friend had to interrupt your conversation as he took the spot on stage with a microphone. He started to thank the guests for coming and explained the purpose of this gathering. You were not listening one bit. Instead, your eyes wandered around the crowd as you tried to find the one man who had taken such a huge part of your life. Then, you spotted him. Close to the stage, he was next to his father as he was listening attentively to Chan. He looked extremely good, and he was matching you. Dressed in a burgundy red suit with a tie of the same colour, you wanted to curse Jeongin for having chosen your dress. He surely knew Jisung was going to wear something similar. It was as if he knew you were staring when his own gaze found yours. He sent a quick smile your way, one so darn adorable that it could make you melt, and turned his attention back to Chan. You needed to speak with him, and fast.
The second after Chan finished his speech, you excused yourself to Felix and went straight ahead towards Jisung. The latter had left his family and was looking at the pamphlet of the new Bang inc. projects instead. He didn't even see you arrive until you grabbed him by the arm harshly, dragging him behind as you headed towards a random hallway where you could discuss privately. He started to let out incoherent complaints but you ignored him. You soon found an empty conference room and shoved him inside, not forgetting to lock the door behind you and close the curtains.
"Y/N, the fuck?" he exclaimed.
"I could ask you the same." you said angrily, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
You saw him stare up and down at you. He really had the guts to check you out while you were beyond furious with him.
"Han Jisung." you yelled out sternly and he jumped a little.
"What is it?" he asked innocently.
"Why am I hearing that you refused your position as chairman of Han technologies?"
Oh. It suddenly clicked in his mind. He had planned to tell you himself, but things didn't go his way.
"I'm resigning from the company."
You stared at him blankly. "Sorry, what?" you asked, completely bewildered by his statement.
"I refused to sign the contract this morning and I'm getting off duties by the end of the month." he said calmly. "It was too much for me."
You shook your head in disbelief. "You can't do that. Jisung, we talked about this before. This is your whole career, why did you-" you cut yourself off, too shaken up by his announcement. "Have you thought this out?"
"I did." he said with an elongated breath. "My dad discovered my music not so long ago and we argued a bit about it."
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
He ignored your question. "He ended up being quite okay with it. He said he didn't realize how much pressure he was putting on me and that I could do what I want as long as it pays off my bills. Plus, he said I could always come back if it doesn't work." he shrugged.
"Wow." was the the only thing you could say. "He really said that?"
He laughed. "Not exactly, my mom is the one I have to thank for that, she talked him through it."
"Makes more sense." you hummed.
"I also told them about you."
Now, you really wanted to punch him in the balls right there and then.
"Just like you told Felix?" you huffed.
"And Chan... and Jeongin..." he saw how you were about to beat the shit out of him and he held up his hands in defense. "They figured it out by themselves, I simply confirmed their suspicions."
You rolled your eyes. "Is this why he bought me this dress to be matching with you?"
He smirked and nodded proudly. You sighed in disbelief and sat down on one of the chairs, gesturing for him to continue.
"I think you know it by now, but I'm so hopelessly in love with you."
You grunted, absolutely enraged by his behaviour. You could simply not believe how dumb of him it was to give up such an opportunity, and then tell your friends about your mistake of the previous year. And now, he really had to top it all with declaring his love for you?
"You keep being fucking unrealistic with this whole thing." you said, shaking your head in disapproval. "We have decades of rivalry between us, we were only being stupid with what we did."
He scoffed. "So last year meant nothing to you?"
"What I'm saying is that it was something that shouldn't have happened. I wanted to put a stop to it tonight." you affirmed but he didn't seem convinced.
"You're wearing the necklace." he pointed to the rose charm hanging around your neck.
You shrugged. "It was going well with the dress, that's all."
"It does, and you simply look stunning tonight." he said as he walked closer to you.
You stood up to come face to face with him. "Don't dodge the subject with your flirts, Han."
"What is stopping us, really? A career? I've already given up mine and I know for a fact that you hate your job." he said softly, getting more and more close to you.
"Our families-" you started but he interrupted you with a laugh.
"You hate your dad and I've talked to mine already. It's okay."
He hesitated, but reached his hand up to your face. By then, you didn't even know how to breathe anymore. It was the first time he touched you so intimately since that moment in the taxicab. It was as electrifying as you remembered.
"Please tell me you feel the same." he said in a whisper. "There was not a single moment where I didn't regret not trying to convince to run away with me."
"Jisung..." you breathed out.
"I won't force you into anything. If wanting to put an end to this is what you want, we'll do just that. I won't say I didn't try at least."
Your faces were millimeters apart. It was a question of time before he was going to kiss you. But you backed away.
"We can't."
And just like that, you ran away from him, leaving him alone in the room. You didn't know exactly why you did so. No matter what the reason was, you just wanted to go home. The rollercoaster he caused was too much to bear with. You didn't even say bye to Chan and you left.
The driver was still in the street, so you called him out and asked him to bring you home. He did look at you suspiciously, but obliged nonetheless. Before you knew it, you were at your front porch and the driver left you alone. You sat down, not even trying to keep your dress clean, and you cried. You weren't sad nor happy, just confused. It was a few minutes after when Jeongin joined you and engulfed you in a hug. He didn't ask what happened, but he just knew you needed someone for you at least.
"I should have said congratulations to Chan at least." you finally spoke and Jeongin allowed himself to let out a small chuckle.
"He knows you're proud of him already."
"Yeah, but it's still shitty of me." you sobbed. "And, Innie, I fucked up so bad..."
"You dumped him there, didn't you?"
Damn, this kid was good at guessing. But he did know most things about you so it was only natural he got you right on that.
"I don't even know why..." you groaned as more tears came out. "He's so... ugh, and I'm like... meh."
He cocked his head to the side, unsure if he understood what you meant. "That's a way to put it I guess?"
"I meant that he just does so much for our... whatever we have, to work out and I'm being a bitch by ditching him."
He smiled awkwardly. "I can't say you're wrong with this one."
"And what am I even going to do if this turns out to be a fiasco? I'll get fired, my dad will disown me, and I'll live off an underground musician's income?"
Jeongin winced at your reflection. "You're overthinking now..."
"I know." you grunted. "It's just... What do I do?"
You turned to look at him properly and noticed how discouraged he seemed to be with you. As you thought, he gave you a look.
"What?" you sighed.
"You know what to do, Y/N. You're just afraid." he explained but you didn't quite get it. "You've been this perfect daughter for years and you're scared of change."
"I mean, aren't we all?"
"Some are more daring than others, just like Han dared to confront his parents because he loves you."
As realization slowly crept in your mind, you buried yourself in your arms. Why did you have to be such an ass to him?
"You're saying I should go back and say I want him too?" you mumbled.
"Essentially, yeah. But like I said, you do you." he said as he patted your back. "No matter what you do, I'm sure Han will understand."
"Do you mind driving me back?" you said as you shot your head up, pouting at him.
He deadpanned at you. "You came all the way back here just to go back?"
"Yeah?" you chuckled embarrassingly.
"Alright, but go clean up your face. Your mascara didn't hold up right."
A few minutes later, you were in Jeongin's car as he drove you back to the convention center. To not cause a fuss, he went all around to the back of the building so you could walk in more discreetly.
"What if he left too?" you said in panic as you were about to leave the vehicle.
"Jeez, Y/N, just go!" he rushed you out.
You entered and arrived in an empty hallway, not creepy at all. Still, you could hear the chatter coming from the main event so you simply followed it. On your way, you came to the washrooms and heard moaning from there.
"Gross." you mumbled to yourself.
Moving on, you started to get more familiar to your surroundings when you saw the room where you had left Jisung earlier. Only now, the door was open and the lights turned off which meant he had gone back to the party probably. You finally arrived to the main room and noticed that Chan was just done with introducing his new line of products. You clapped along with the crowd and cheered loudly. He recognized your voice as he immediately moved his eyes to where you were standing. With a large grin, he thanked the audience once more and came down to crush you in a hug.
"How did I do?" he asked.
"Great..." you trailed off and he gave you a look.
"You didn't watch, right?"
"I'm sorry, Chan." you chuckled. "I... kind of ran away?"
He rolled his eyes. "Han Jisung?"
"Why the hell is everyone aware of my business?" you whined.
"He came to talk to me after you left. He's alone at the bar if you are looking for him." he laughed. "Go get your man, bestie." he said jokingly.
"I'll have to talk to you after we sort this out." you said in a warning voice before leaving to go to the bar.
When you finally got to him, you kept a distance to observe what state he was in. Hair disheveled, tie loosened, he was mixing his margarita with a straw and started blankly in the void. You felt bad, even worse than you expected.
"I would have never thought of you as one for the margaritas." you spoke up.
At the sound of your voice, he looked around in confusion until he noticed you were standing behind him. He shook his head as a chuckle left his mouth.
"Are you quoting me now?"
You took the spot next to him and stole the drink from his grip. "Perhaps I am." you shrugged and then took a sip of the drink. "I like the ones from the island better."
"So picky." he huffed. "I'm sorry for being so bold earlier."
You shook your head violently. "Stop, I'm the one at fault."
He tilted his head from side to side. "Not really. I can't blame you for not wanting the same thing as me."
"But that's the thing..." you said before taking a deep breath. "I want the same thing as you."
He stared at you for a moment. The lack of response on his part quite frightened you. After a bit, he finally moved as he placed his hand on your forehead.
"Are you okay?"
Frowning, you looked at him, perplexed. "I am..."
He retrieved his hand away. "You're being for real? Don't give me false hope, I swear I'll axe you if you do so."
You laughed. "I'm serious. Look, Jisung, I haven't been fair to you."
He shook his head as he took your face by the jaw. "Don't say that."
"You know I'm right. I led you on, kept denying your attention and I literally ran away from you." you listed out. "I think I'm in love with you too. I was just stupid enough to never admit it to myself."
You had never seen him smile this much. "You're fucking stubborn, yeah." he grinned. "But I love that about you. Plus, playing hard to get is quite attractive."
You scoffed. "Fuck off, I'll go back to Felix."
You were about to walk away but he grabbed you by the wrist to stop you. Gently, he pulled you closer by the neck and kissed you. He. Kissed. You. In front of literally everyone. You heard gasps of shock, but surprisingly, you didn't care. All that mattered was that you had your lips on Jisung again. The butterflies you had suppressed for months had come back at an overwhelming level but you were happy.
"Y/N L/N!" you heard your father yell.
Separating yourself from Jisung, you rolled your eyes as you came face to face with a furious man.
"Hey." you smiled in an exaggerated manner.
"You've got a lot of explaining to do, young lady. I made sure during your whole life you'd be ready to take over my place, and you're pulling this show tonight?"
You let out a groan. "Really? A show? I get you have built a reputation and shit for years, but for what? Really, come to think of it, this whole rivalry thing is ridiculous. Yeah, sure, they sued us, but heck, we got over it."
He huffed in disbelief. "It had to be a Han, uh?"
Dropping your shoulders, you didn't even know what to say anymore. "He's not like that. You know what? I don't even know why I'm fighting you over this." you started to get annoyed.
"It's okay, Y/N-" Jisung started, but you went off again which interrupted him.
"No, Jisung, this is not okay. I've done literally everything to go according to this man's expectations and I can't even be happy for one moment?"
By then, more people had gathered around the scene. Some of them whispered among themselves, others just watched in pure shock. Then, Jisung's parents arrived and stood next to your dad. This was going so well...
"You two are okay with this?" you father asked the Han.
Jisung's mother simply shrugged. "I mean, she seems to make our son happy." she said in a small voice making your father turn to Mr. Han to incite him to speak his thoughts out.
He did the same as his wife, not sure on what to answer. "I'd have to say, Mr. L/N, that your daughter is quite a remarkable woman. I think our son is in good hands."
"I agree." you heard Chan speak up somewhere in the crowd. You finally spotted him and sent him a look as to ask what he was doing. "I think it is time to tone down the hard feelings in my opinion, Mr. L/N." he patted your father's back.
"Chan-" Jisung started but the glare he received from him shut him up real quick.
"I think this is a good way to put an end to this competition between your families, no? Anyhow, I think they make a fine couple." he continued and then held his glass up. "How about we go on with our evening?"
Chan had power, which meant everyone were taking his opinion into consideration. If he said something was fine, it meant it was fine. If he wanted to move on from something, then people moved on. This was exactly what happened. As the mass of people dispersed themselves, you saw your dad walk further away with Jisung's parents, seemingly discussing about what they just saw. As for Chan, he joined the pair of you.
"That's quite a show stealer you put up just now." he laughed.
"Thank you, Chan." you said sincerely.
Jisung rubbed your back gently as he nodded with you. "Yeah, thank you for that."
Chan shrugged. "I'm rooting for you two, but don't put yourselves in trouble too much because I can't save you all the time."
"We won't." Jisung said as he looked at you. "I think we can manage from now."
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eleven. - epilogue -
"Time's up."
Looking up from your laptop, you had daggers in your eyes as you stared at Jisung through your glasses. He was already fully dressed with black pants and a beige coat as he tapped his foot on the floor in an impatient way.
"I'm almost done." you said as you focused back on your screen.
He let out a groan. "Y/N, love."
"It won't take long." you argued, not taking your eyes off as you typed aggressively on your keyboard.
"You said the same thing ten minutes ago and we have a flight in..." he checked the time on his phone. "two hours now." he deadpanned at you.
"I just have to send this to Chan real quick."
"Exactly, it's Chan so no pressure."
He came to your dining table and snatched your computer away from you. While you reached out to get it back, he saved your file and closed it off before putting it in his bag.
"Han Jisung." you said in a stern voice.
"Thank me later, baby." he kissed your cheek but you refused to fall for it.
"I have to send it over."
"I know, love, but Jeongin had this handled, no? Just trust him on this one."
Still pouting, you took your coat and put it on before grabbing your luggage. "I shouldn't have agreed to go on this stupid trip."
"Don't be like this, you love seeing Felix." he snickered.
"I don't mind going to Australia." you argued as you approached the front door of your house. "I mind not getting my work done in time."
"Love, you're literally weeks ahead for everything." he sighed loudly.
You walked to your car and started to load it with your bags. While Jisung went back inside to get more of your belongings, you received a call. Putting the phone between your ear and your shoulder, you answered.
"What's up, Hyunjin?" you said cheerfully.
"Someone's in a good mood." he laughed. "I take it that you're leaving soon?"
"Yeah, we're about to go to the airport. How is it there?"
"I love it, really. Felix rented a house for us so we can all stay together." he said excitedly. "I was calling to ask you something about the report you filled out this morning, actually."
You frowned. "What about it?"
"Why didn't you mark Jisung's name? For the collaborator, I mean."
You grunted. "Shit, I totally forgot. I'm sorry, I'm still not used to him being back in the business."
"All good." he chuckled. "Though I need it by the end of the week. Otherwise, my application can be denied."
"I know, I'll do it as soon as I get there."
Jisung looked at you curiously as he stood next to the car with the door opened, waiting for you to be done.
"No stress." Hyunjin answered.
"I have to go now, but I can't wait to see you two!"
"See you in a few hours!"
Hanging up, you and Jisung got in the car and he drove away from your house. As you hummed along the music, you suddenly remembered something. Turning the volume down, you looked at your fiancé in panic.
"Tell me you locked the door."
He rolled his eyes. "I did, stop being so stressed."
"I'm sorry, jeez." you said in a defensive tone.
"This trip is for us to take a break from work, just like the good old days. Relax a little, can you do that for me?"
You absolutely hated it when he used his soft loving tone. You could simply not resist it. With a sigh, you nodded your head and you grabbed his hand that was hanging between your two seats.
"You're right."
He smiled and started to play with your hand, fiddling with your engagement ring. "Plus, we get to visit the venue for the wedding." he said before kissing your hand.
"Felix better had chosen a good spot." you huffed.
"If you don't like it, we can visit some more." he shrugged.
You shook your head as a no. "I just want a place to marry you."
"You're sweet, baby, but I don't want to get married in a wrecked place." he laughed.
"Fair enough."
You said that, but in all honesty, you just wanted to marry him right away. Him. The man you believed to hate until he turned your world upside down. The man who was ready to give up everything just to be with you. If this is not husband material, you don't know what it is. But one thing for sure, you wanted to be with him for the rest of your life.
taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisboredd | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @taetertotsv | @luvscrazy | @lethallyprotected
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m-ayo-o · 8 months
Text
time swap
18+ smutty // Riftan is your modern day boyfriend ~ you go back in time together to experience life as his princess wc 590 selfshiptember; 25
who else can easily self insert with maxi...
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Being dragged back in time to an era filled with knights, dragons and wizards is just about mind boggling enough– let alone trying to remember all of the rules and etiquette that have suddenly been imposed upon you.
As a woman of the modern world, you’re used to doing whatever you want, whenever you want. You have freedoms and rights and can follow your own will and whimsy. It helps that you’re confident and have the ability to defend yourself in dangerous situations. But you’re used to being undeniably independent. And strong.
Now, after following your boyfriend back to his era, you’ve found yourself surrounded by maids, servants, assistants, cooks, butlers– endless people babying you.
They tend to your every need, from the moment you wake, getting you dressed in the ridiculous corsets and gowns, to eating, drinking, bathing, sleeping– you can barely breathe on your own.
And that’s just the castle personnel.
Now you’re here, you can see where Riftan’s ‘old fashioned’ tendencies stem from.
Here, his possessive nature is spiralling out of control. You understand that he’s your knight, your husband, sworn to protect and serve, but he doesn’t forgo any of the formalities. 
And he’s become ever so strict.
He chastises you for wanting to leave the castle by yourself like it’s some kind of crazy idea.
“No. That’s dangerous. And you can’t go out like that.” He eyes the simple frock you’re wearing as you look down over yourself.
He has the maids dress you then finally allows you to leave with your arm wrapped around his, escorting you through the busy streets.
He seems even more agitated during functions and parties that are filled with royals, noblemen and knights.
Even if you open your mouth to speak to the wrong person, he’s tugging you away and keeping you to himself. He won’t leave your side all night.
Those are some of the more suffocating behaviours that have come to light– but there are others that you could get used to.
When disembarking a carriage, for example, he will not allow you to step off by yourself. He opens the door, takes your hand and guides you down the steps. If the weather is bad he won’t even permit you to set foot on the damp, muddy ground. You will be carried.
But what really gets you is the way he greets you.
It’s the same in public, in private, wherever you are and whoever you’re with.
He lowers his head in a bow, muttering ‘my princess’ and brushing feather light kisses over your fingers.
And if he’s missed you it gets even better.
He kneels before you.
He presses his head into your tummy while you stroke his hair, nervously looking round at all the servants dashing away and sparing fleeting glances at the two of you.
“Riftan,” you tilt his chin up, “don’t you think this is– ah, too much?”
“No,” he grumbles and gives you a stern look, finally standing and taking your hand, pulling you up the stairs to your private wing.
He may be the perfect gentleman during the day, however, when he gets you behind your bedroom door that is soon to change.
His chivalrous behaviour falls away with your clothes, leaving you exposed but finally able to breathe. 
He covers your body in kisses, showing his true nature when he sinks his teeth into your soft skin.
He dips his head lower, all of his rules to keep you safe and protected being cast aside when he finally hears you moan.
selfshiptember 25!
likes, comments + reblogs appreciated! <3
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booppooo · 1 year
Note
omg could do smut headcannons for abby with a reader who gets super flustered really easily and is almosttt a stone bottom?
also i love your writing<3
Shy
Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader Headcannons
AN: thank you anon!! I hope you like it :) also I've never heard the term stone bottom but I think I have a good idea of what it is? Hope this is ok!
Warnings: dom & sub dynamic, oral (reader receiving), private relationship
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God, when Abby wants to be, she can be a huge flirt
But as we've seen when she's 'flirting' she's sorta...mean?
Like when her and Owen first discover the aquarium she calls Owen a dick - girl boss.
Anyway, she does it with a smirk and the tone of voice is so playful that you can't mistake it for something else
One day you were wiping down tables in the mess hall and you caught Abby sauntering over to you and immediately you felt your skin tingling
"Mornin', you missed a spot-" she pointed to a spot on the table close to her belt and you knew your eyes were wide like a stunned animal.
"Oh, thanks," you gulped and wiped the cloth on the section, avoiding eye contact purposefully - you could feel her's burning holes into the back of your head
"No good morning back? Hm?" Right about now you would want to groan and try to work your way away from her, but she followed you like a child desperate for attention.
"Good morning Abby."
Her smirk grew, "At least mean it."
You stopped cleaning and placed your palms on the table, looking up at her with a flustered frown. As much as you wanted to match her sarcastic bite, the words always got clogged in your throat and would leave your brain spiraling.
"Alright..." she admitted defeat, "But before I leave you alone, will you be in the library later?" She took it upon herself to pick some lint from your shoulder, taking the opportunity to step closer to you.
You knew what this was 'code' for.
Abby knew her power - physically and mentally - that she had over you. You admired her in every aspect and would fold for her in a moments notice. As much as she got under your skin and teased you in public...in private it was much different.
In short, she wanted to have her way with you this evening, because today would be a long day for her and anytime spent with you was a good stress reliever.
"I might be tired later." You we're lying, it wasn't like making food and cleaning the mess hall was incredibly labor intensive compared to the few sweeps you had been on.
You bashfully enjoyed the hardness forming in her eyes, the chewing of her cheek as she decided if you were finally returning the sarcasm she dished so easily.
"Don't be like that. I'll see you later."
And of course she did. Even if you meant no now, you didn't mean no later. Knowing Abby returned from patrol was music to your ears because it meant she survived another day, miraculously.
Later that night, she did find you in the library, cluelessly scanning through books because you were convinced you had already read them all. With one glance she confirmed your lonesomeness and decided to lock the doors for the night.
She joined you near a shelf and immediately tugged you against her with your eyes still on the spines of novels, arms looping around your waist like a thick belt.
"Hey there," she hummed, diving in with soft, wet kisses along your neck.
You hummed in response, already to warm to speak because if you did you would stutter.
Abby guided you over to some of the ottoman cushions and laid you back for her to crawl over you. Quickly, your heart began to race.
"What do you want babe?" Her lips found your neck again, knee finally slotting between your own until it reached your pelvis and made you grasp her massive shoulders.
"Whatever-" you croaked out, already out of breath and growing hotter by the second.
Her pretty teeth nipped at your skin as she traveled lower on your body, removing what obscured her goal.
"Hope my tongue can get you to stop squirming then." Again, her words were borderline bitter and condescending, but the delivery made your thighs squeeze.
Of course she had to mention your damp undergarments and sweetly shame you before parting you with her fiery tongue that felt like warm honey on your clit.
"Shh," she teased after you wined, "We're in a library." All you could do was sigh in response.
From there she was set to work, juggling three different tasks: swirling her tongue on your clit, keeping your legs stable, and making sure you weren't screaming like a porn star because Abby left you so shy and sensitive you couldn't help but make all these noises for her.
With all the times you had spent together, Abby had grown keen to what scratched your itch, knowing what each buck of your hips meant and even the pattens of your noisy breathing.
She knew when to knead your hips and thighs and when to take a beat - using it to lovingly dig at you:
"If only people knew how filthy you were."
"Maybe I should leave you to finish all on your own."
"Tell me how bad you wanna cum."
The last one especially would get you hot and bothered, because she knew when you were just at the edge, and in that moment she would pull away until you said something like:
"So bad Abby please-!" you would have sweat rolling down your temple, "Don't do this to me." With a whine you'd scoot closer to her face.
She rested her cheek on your thigh and reveled in your shyness crumbling due to desperation, "How could I say no to you, hm?"
And with a few more aggressive swipes of her tongue she would have your lower abdomen tightening and eyes squeezing shut.
Abby could be mean, but that's how she knew how to love.
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shannankle · 3 months
Text
DFF, Found Footage, Technology, and the Real
Okay so I've been slowly looking into horror and technology since watching Shadow, and now DFF has me going down a related research spiral. So let's call this a sibling post to my Shadow technology series (which I am slowly working on I promise).
I just thumbed through a great book on found footage horror and a few other pieces on technology and wanted to use these as a lens to think about DFF and how it's navigating a number of themes including the distinction between reality and fiction.
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DFF draws on the concept of found footage films like The Blair Witch Project. Even if DFF's main framing and style isn't found footage, the film the characters are working on is. And we get our most direct reference to a horror film when Jin references The Blair Witch Project--an iconic found footage film. So I want to start by thinking about the Blair Witch Project.
Part 1: The Blair Witch Project and DFF
Part 2: Paranormal Activity, DFF, and the Myth of the Real
Part 3: Films within Films, Surveillance Technology, and Other Connections (Man Bites Dog, Cabin in the Woods, Shutter)
Part 1: The Blair Witch Project and DFF
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While found footage horror doesn't purely originate with the Blair Witch Project it certainly rocketed the concept into the popular zeitgeist. I watched the film for the first time this week, and while it didn't scare me*, I could easily see how influential it would've been at the time. The media landscape looked very different in the late 90s, and the film's marketing deliberately played up the idea that this was real footage in a way that simply couldn't be done today with our current media landscape and familiarity with the found footage genre. We're now much more familiar with fakelore as a concept in general.
*The scariest part of watching was the censored subtitles! Stop that please! They seriously were replacing things like "Oh, fuck" with "Oh, boy." I also got a car add about going out to enjoy national parks, and how they can be accessible to Deaf people, which was an interesting moment of double irony.
In her book Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality, which I will be citing quite a bit in this post, Alexandra Heller-Nicholas notes that the Blair Witch Project came out at a time when amateur films were still relegated to home videos but entering public viewing through shows like America's Funniest Home Videos. The style was thus associated much more closely with trying to capture reality than tell a fictional story. The marketing played into this heavily--for example: using the actors' names for the characters, circulating missing persons flyers in areas where the film was being shown, and creating a website that gave background on the Blair Witch myth and information on the "missing" trio of amateur filmmakers. I chatted a bit with @slayerkitty who saw it in theaters. She explained how part of what made the film scary at the time was how real so many people thought it was and the tension of being in the audience.
TBWP and DFF Similarities
Let's start by going over some of the ways DFF might be directly pulling from the film or making homages before jumping into what I think are probably the more significant thematic connections with found footage.
Myths and an Ambiguous Antagonist:
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The Blair Witch Project is set against the backdrop of a local myth about a witch in the woods. Three young adults (Heather, Josh, and Mike) go to make an amateur documentary about the witch, get lost in the woods, and are then hunted by an unseen presence. We get information about the myth through interviews with locals and a book Heather reads aloud briefly called The Blair Witch Cult. We learn about the slaughter of 5 men (which is described almost like a ritual), disappearances and deaths, and a man who was compelled by the witch to slaughter children. Similarly in DFF we have our Janta cult, which slaughters people in the name of a supernatural or spiritual force. Now I'd say this could be a nod to TBWP but it also draws on plenty of other ghosts stories and urban legends about the woods. I'm sure there are also particularly Thai valences as well beyond just being Buddhist on the surface.
Like the trio in The Blair Witch Project, the group in DFF goes into the woods to film--though they aren't traipsing through the woods, and the horror they're filming is a story of their own creation. In the present, however, the horror becomes much more than fiction, just like in TBWP. In the film, we see and hear signs that something or someone is following the trio but it's ultimately unclear if it's supernatural, locals scaring them, or them slowly cracking and turning on one another. In DFF's opening episodes it's likewise unclear if what's happening is being caused by a person, hallucinogens, or something supernatural.
Maps and Marketing:
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TBWP also shows the characters turning on one another, arguing, and cracking in a way that fundamentally sabotages their survival. At one point, Mike reveals that he threw their map, their only lifeline, into the river. This is paralleled in Fluke turning away their transport and means of leaving. The map is an important focus in the film. We see Heather orienting the group and insisting she knows where they're at, while Mike insists they're lost. This culminates in them losing the map as things start getting worse. DFF slips in what I read as a potentially more direct reference to the film in episode 8. An odd new detail in the group's film where they rely on the hope of a map to get out before they're attacked by the masked killer again.
Another potential similarity to draw on has more to do with the outside marketing of TBWP. Interestingly it was marketed to appear like an indie film despite having pretty extensive funding. This makes me think of the group's film in DFF. This is meant to be a student film but they received a huge boost via Por's dad giving them extra money for a camera.
Smoking and Being Alive:
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One other parallel I find interesting is the emphasis on smoking. To be fair TBWP is probably not the first or last horror film to have people smoke (the pot head is a character trope of it's own), and I was likely primed to notice because we already had "Tan smokes and has asthma" on our list of clues for DFF. Now clearly the writers of DFF are smart and are using Tan/New smoking in plot relevant ways. These details feel purposeful to the story they're crafting. But let's briefly look at how smoking shows up in TBWP.
The characters all smoke and drink alcohol. As they get lost and the days tick away they run out of food and smokes. Josh has moments that could be attributed to withdrawal where he laments that they're out of cigarettes. However, after he disappears, Mike finds some remaining cigarettes at the bottom of one of their bags. Mike comments "We're still alive cause we're smoking." For him, it signals even if briefly that they are still alive, that they're surviving.
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But in DFF, smoke seems to be attached to death and dissociation. We know that New is a smoker, something he perhaps picked up in England. It starts then as a sign that he has a life, one outside of being Tan. Yet it's that very life, being abroad, that led him to be so far from Non when he disappeared. For New, his life is now tinged with guilt and loss. As @syrena-del-mar noted here, there are moments where he forgets he is supposed to be New. But the smoking becomes his one reminder that "New" is still alive.
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Yet this reminder turns more and more painful. Under the exterior of Tan, he is haunted by New, the brother who didn't make it in time. And this spirals further when his mother and father die. Each time he's a step closer but still too distant to stop their deaths. At this point, he starts getting high to a dangerous degree--dissociating, hallucinating, torturing himself with visions of Non. When Phi steps in we have a parallel moment to Phi stopping Non from taking pills. Smoking turns from a sign of life to one of death as New tries to commit suicide, telling Phi "I don't want to live anymore." And New takes this further when he drugs the rest of the boys. Perhaps he didn't intend it to go so far, but he certainly is happy with the result. His drugs, his smoke have caused fear and death, rather than hope and life.
Except for the map I feel like most of these parallels can as easily be chocked up to direct inspiration as they can be attributed to both pulling on a similar well of genre conventions. What I find more interesting is the thematic conversation TBWP brings to the table for DFF.
TBWP and Thematic Resonances with DFF
Filtered Reality:
In her work on horror, Brigid Cherry remarks that The Blair Witch Project is "about the way in which technology gets in the way of seeing" (qtd in Heller-Nicholas 23). Heller-Nicholas further notes how the camera is constantly in contention with the audience's desire to look at what we want to see. In the film itself, one of the characters even remarks that looking at the world through the camera is "like a filtered reality" because you "can pretend everything isn't exactly like it is."
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This looking but not seeing resonates to me with Jin. He looks at Non through the camera, seeing him as innocent, in need of protecting. But there's so much he doesn't see about Non, including the reality of poverty. Jin's perfect view of Non breaks at the moment he sees Non with Keng. But as Jin's filtered vision of Non cracks, he adds a new filter. He frames Non as a slut, someone guilty in his mind, at least in the he heat of the moment. So he records him. In doing so, he papers over the nuances of the situation, that it is SA and that there is so much of Non's life that is outside of Jin's lens.
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After Non's disappearance Jin doesn't stop using his camera lens to view the world. In episode 9, he watches the others play soccer and then Phi through his camera. He is pretending nothing happened just like the rest of the group, but for him to do that he has to filter his reality. And just like with Non, Jin isn't able to see the full story around Phi from this small frame of a perspective.
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I also think it's worth noting how the show, especially in the flashbacks tends to use strong framing (I note some of this in episode 5 but it persists strongly at least up until episode 9). While they aren't using a found footage style, there's still a sense at times that the camera is limiting our view as it closes in around the characters. It's as if the camera frame becomes hyper-visible, similar but not exactly like in found footage. I'm not entirely sure how to read this just yet, but it feels appropriate for both a mystery and for a story so deeply invested in perceptions. There's a strong focus on what is made visible and what is rendered invisible by the characters, by the story structure, and by the frame of the camera itself.
Gender, Space, Control:
In her discussion of TBWP, Heller-Nicholas discusses the gendered dynamics of the film and how scholars have read the film as invested in the horror of female control. This is captured in two ways. First in the way the woods as a space become imbued with the horror of the Blair Witch (pulling on a tradition of witches being women), and thus the feminine. Second, in the way that Heather, who is the director of their film, leads the group to folly. Scholar Linda C. Badley, has argued that "Heather represents a serious breach in having taken possession of the conventionally male--and often murderous--gaze" (qtd. in Heller-Nicholas 108). Heather thus enters the domain of the typically masculine and the results are disastrous.
I find it interesting to compare DFF with TBWP in this respect because they've taken a genre that often is infused with binary gender dynamics and given us all men, and predominantly queer men. This is obviously a dynamic of BL, but it's interesting to consider how this plays with the themes of gender that often proliferate in horror. This is a much broader topic, and @brifrischu and I are currently reading through Carol Clover's seminal work Men, Women, and Chainsaws so I wager we'll have more to add to the discussion at some point.
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But let's look at a few things. First, if the Blair Witch imbues the woods as a space of feminine horror, DFF paints the woods as masculine. After our cold open, we are introduced to the group as they ride into the forest via Por's narration about the legend of Janta. The subtitles at the very least, refer to Janta using masculine pronouns. I don't want to assume that Thai gender coding and dynamics are identical to western ones but we might consider the way that the group of boys, packed into the back of a truck paint this as a masculine, homosocial space.
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This is reinforced by the mention of Por's father. Por says "My dad warned me that, so I had to listen to him." This masculine authority is doubly highlighted by the campaign posters that literally mark his control of the space. To go any further the group must pass through these signs as a threshold to the space. Here we have not just masculinity being signaled but wealth, power, and control--something that contrasts distinctly with Non, for example, who has none of this. And of course, as we move through the story much of the horror comes from the actions of the core group of boys rather than the masked person we started with.
I find it interesting too that as Por tells the tale, it's White who comments "You almost had me scared." They then have a discussion about Tee liking to teaser "the younger ones." This focus on White as the most vulnerable is interesting given that he reads as perhaps the least traditionally masculine of the group*.
*Another reason why I'm excited to read Clover's work, is because she came up with the final girl formula in her discussion of gender in horror. I'd love to think about how we apply that in a queer context, especially given how so many of us have collectively felt White will be final girl. What might DFF be doing re: gender within the context of queerness, and what might it be asking of us as an audience?
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The second aspect of this is the directorial gaze. In TBWP we have a woman taking on the control of a film project. This is important not just because Heather takes on a typically male profession but also because of the way films are imbued with what Laura Mulvey has termed "the male gaze." The view from which we see the world and the terms on which stories are told are traditionally male, while women are objects to be looked at--something Heather bucks and is punished for.
In DFF we have a similar struggle over authorship and directorial control. Instead of a strict division between feminine and masculine gazes, we get a struggle that is imbued with distinctions of class first and foremost. Por stands in as the more traditionally masculine director. We see the violence he does in trying to maintain control of the project. Of course he mostly does this through exerting his wealth. In contrast, Non doesn't fit the more aggressive masculine role, he comes from poverty, has mental illness, and is generally at the bottom of the social pyramid. His authorship comes into tension with Por's desires for directorial and social control.
There's a strong thematic exploration here of not just who gets to tell the story, but who's story gets to be told. In the end, the camera is Por's, his wealth and framing win out, and Non's authorship is buried. Much like the male gaze relegates women to objects rather than directors or authors, the only film that Non gets credit for is the sex tape in which he becomes objectified by the camera.
Of course we then have the fact that, in the present, Non's revenge script is being played out. There's a new director here, and clearly it's not entirely Phi (who tries his hand at directing in episode 1). Regardless of who is orchestrating these moves, we have an inversion of power happening. While we can't say for sure until the show has wrapped up, I suspect that DFF will lean into this inversion, rather than, like in TBWP, punishing this transgression of the norm.
That's all for now on TBWP, but certainly not all on DFF. I'm going to turn now to another important found footage film, Paranormal Activity, to unpack a bit more about DFF and it's themes.
Part 2: Paranormal Activity, DFF, and the Myth of the Real
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In her work Heller-Nicholas notes how, after Paranormal Activity hit the screen, our view of found footage as a genre shifted. It was no longer seen as necessarily authentic per-se but a stylistic form. Heller-Nicholas puts it like this:
As these more popular found footage horror films made their way to the forefront of the genre, what became important was not that the audience necessarily believed that they were real, but rather that they offered a framework to knowingly indulge in a horror fantasy of the real. The solidification of a recognizable found footage horror style meant that horror audiences understood and identified them as such, defining a subgenre where an authentic style (rather than claims of authenticity itself) prevailed (Heller-Nichols, 128)
I won't go into smaller parallels between the film and DFF (partially because I haven't seen it, so if you have please add anything you notice), but I want to cover a few thematic resonances.
Heller-Nichols sketches out a few ways that critics have interpreted the film. First, as an allegory for materialism in the context of the US housing market crash of the time. Second, as a reflection on surveillance and the way changes in technology changed our relationship to cinema.
The first theme, materialism and consumption play out in the film through both the financial disparities of the characters and the more metaphorical spiritual/demonic possession that takes place. Both DFF (at least episodes 1-4) and Paranormal Activity take place in a luxurious house and themes of greed and materialism are present. In DFF, Por takes this role, flaunting his wealth and using it to get what he wants. Of all the characters, he is the one most willing to steal credit from Non. In Paranormal Activity the wealthy boyfriend even brags about buying a nice camera on only half-a-day's pay. Similarly Por brags about getting the nice camera for their film with his father's money.
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One thing that set Paranormal Activity apart from earlier found footage films like The Blair Witch Project, was it's use of security camera footage. It relied on a new type of gaze that made the private public in the context of shifting surveillance technologies. While DFF largely centers itself around a film camera, it also includes other forms of technology in the background, including surveillance cameras. The CCTV cameras in Por's house come to mind as a significant way this technology comes into play. On the one hand, it helps Por identify that there is an intruder, and it helps the group find him when he is hurt. On the other hand, it encroaches on the private, capturing White and Tee having sex. This private vs public line is of course horrifically crossed when Jin records Non and Keng and when this video is circulated--surveillance right in our hands via cell phone.
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Heller-Nicholas notes that post-Blair Witch, and by the time Paranormal Activity was released, audiences were much more genre savvy. She notes that the genre's "pleasures are not reliant on our gullibility, but rather our willingness to succumb to the myth of the real that these films offer..." (26). Relevant to DFF, I want to stress the "willingness to succumb to the myth of the real." I discussed earlier how Jin doesn't see Non; instead, he is happy to succumb to a myth of what could be the real Non.
But it's not just Jin who does this. Almost everyone around Non believes they see him correctly--as "Greasy", as a bad son, as a cheater, etc. This takes on even more public dimensions as the police enter the picture, as the sex tape circulates, and as the police report that he has run away with Keng. What people see and believe about Non, the narratives they tell about him, help reinforce people's existing understandings of the world--their prejudices, their assumptions, their myths of how the real world works.
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And of course, film is at the center of this. The police believe that Non wasn't with the group when he disappeared because any footage he was in was hidden from them. Non is erased from the film (both in the footage and in terms of credit). The entire film premier is one big moment where everyone in the group is playing into this myth. It is taken as fact that Por's name being in the credits means this is his work--that nothing or no one of note was hidden behind the frame.
In her work Heller-Nicholas points to discovered manuscript fiction (such as Dracula) as a precursor to found footage horror. This connection highlights the way these works rely on the fiction that someone has organized the documents apart from the original author. The fictional framing of found footage as pretending to have an original author or filmmaker other than the actual director, hides the fact that The Hidden Character has in many ways literally stolen credit from Non. The genre expectations obfuscate the real story.
And then there's the sex recording (the only film Non gets credit for). We see a number of reactions to the recording from people in Non's life as well as those outside of it. The social media posts in particular stress the way Non's vulnerability is quickly slotted into pre-held narratives of sex and sexuality that refuse to see the reality of SA.
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Non's SA is taken as truthful evidence of his consent via social media, while the film the group made is found footage but not seen as real. I think this marks an interesting change in the aesthetics and narratives we find "real." Horror and found footage are legible, a chance to engage in "a fantasy of the real". Meanwhile, the real story behind the film is erased, just like Non. Sadly, the most legible narrative of a young queer boy is that the phone footage is slutty or even hot. No one questions the authenticity of the recording, it is viewed as real. Ironically, compared to the horror film the group shoots, the sex tape is the real found footage film. Yet the "reality" it shows is filtered through interpretation. Non's reality gets buried.
Meanwhile, as an audience, we have the opposite reaction. We are slowly given insight into the discrepancy between Non's reality and the myths people hold. We keep asking why other characters can't or won't see the truth, why they won't help Non until it's too late.
DFF may not be found footage itself, but it is certainly interested in exploring and extending the thematic conversations about authenticity, reality, and narrative.
Part 3: Films within Films, Surveillance Technology, and Other Connections
Despite the fact that DFF references and dialogues with the found footage horror genre, it formally has more in common with films that center around technology and films within films. So I wanted to cover three more films that I think dialogue in interesting ways.
Man Bites Dog:
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I'll start with Man Bites Dog since I have the least to say about it. It is a 1992 French mockumentary and black comedy, that Heller-Nicholas notes is a pretty significant and well-acknowledged precursor to the found footage horror genre. I'm not sure I want to get to deep into themes with this one. But I thought the parallels were interesting. A film crew decides to make a documentary where they follow a serial killer named Ben around only to be pulled into the crimes and become culpable themselves. That is, until Ben is killed and the film crew are taken out one by one by an unknown killer. We have a film crew that slowly gets involved and more culpable in wrong doings, just like in DFF we have the group working on a film while slowly becoming more and more culpable in harming Non. Meanwhile in the present both "film crews" are suddenly being hunted and picked off by an unknown party.
Cabin in the Woods:
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Cabin in the Woods is a 2011 film that satirizes horror. A group of college students go to a cabin in the woods and are slowly picked off. The twist is that this is all orchestrated by an organization that is simultaneously surveilling and orchestrating their deaths to appease ancient deities. Many of the shots are done through drone's and other similar visuals to highlight the way the group is being surveilled. In a chapter from a collection on horror and gender, Hannah Bonner looks at Cabin in the Woods and a few other films that include surveillance and social media. She discusses the way technology in these films revolve around slut shaming young women. As she puts it, "It is the 'fact of being constantly seen', whether by high key government surveillance systems or by judgemental peers, that throws these characters into disarray or death" (89).
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For Cabin in the Woods one thing Bonner examines is the way the film frames the group's "slut" character Jules. Jules and one of the guys go outside to get intimate. And the film moves between this scene and the men surveilling them who watch eagerly. Bonner reads this as a commentary on the violent gaze with which horror frames women. She makes a distinction, noting that "The voyeur is no longer just the audience, squirming in their seats from Michael Meyers's point of view as he tracks down his naked sister and her boyfriend in Halloween...now the audience as voyeur watches the voyeurs watch the surveyed" (90).
DFF makes a similar move by staging multiple instances of filming (a film within a film, or in this case a film within a show). We get a moment in episode 1 where Tee steps forward to block the group watching the CCTV footage of him and White. But this denial is in contrast to other moments. The show draws us most into being voyeurs watching voyeurs, when Jin films Non. I think it's important to note that both the moment that Bonner discusses in her chapter and this moment in DFF are sexual. In CITW, Jules is literally labeled by her surveillers as "the slut", a role she must fulfill and be killed for to appease the gods. Her lack of agency is made quite apparent. In DFF, Non is also slotted into the role of the slut by those around him, including Jin when he films the moment out of anger. While the show is not as on the nose about the whole thing, it's still clearly establishing a discrepancy between how Non is viewed by those around him due to the tape and the lack of full agency he possesses.
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Moreover, by making us viewers voyeurs of this voyeurism, DFF creates a critique rather than simply a simulation of voyeurism. I am considering how this might not just be a commentary on sex shaming, but sexuality within a space where BL has historically crossed the line at times in terms of depicting SA. Or even the way that BL actors in Thailand are often expected to blur the line between the private and the public through fan service. It's interesting because clearly the show also doesn't shy away from letting us be voyeurs to sex. The show perhaps draws a distinction between representing queer sex and SA. But it's fascinating how this is mediated through voyeurism and the camera's gaze.
Shutter:
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I couldn't wrap this post up without talking a bit about Shutter. Shutter is a 2004 Thai horror film (and probably Thailand's most well known horror film globally). It was part of the horror boom of the late 90s and early aughts in Thailand and Asia. If you throw Thai horror and cameras my way, I will think of Shutter. I watched it as part of some research I've been slowly doing on late 90s/early 2000s Asian horror and technology (writing meta for Shadow the series). It's a story about haunting that takes inspiration from the idea of spirit photography.
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The film follows a couple, Jane and Tun, both photographers, who start seeing shadows and faces in their photos. Jane discovers that the ghost is a girl named Natre who Tun used to date in secret. They proceed by trying to figure out how Natre died (suicide) and how to get her to move on. Meanwhile Tun's friends suddenly start killing themselves. Ultimately Jane learns that Tun's friends raped Natre, and Tun not only didn't stop them but even photographed the assault at his friends' request (so Natre wouldn't snitch). Jane confronts Tun who expresses his regret, that he "never forgave [himself]." In the climax of the film Tun uses a polaroid camera to try and find Natre's ghost in real time before being driven out the window. Natre let's him live, in a near catatonic state, unlike his other friends because his betrayal hurt the most.
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We once again come back to themes of voyeurism, SA, peer pressure, and culpability. The film has strong focus on the effects and betrayal of being a bystander, much like DFF does. Again this parallel is made quite strongly with Jin. Non may not have had feelings for him, but he is the kindest of the group, making his betrayal hit strongly. Jin filming Non and Keng has it's own nuances within DFF, but it certainly parallels Tun photographing Natre's assault. Similar to Non, Natre disappears in the aftermath, while Tun and his friends go on with their lives.
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On a smaller note, both Tun and Jin use polaroids in what is potentially a reference to the film.
As the truth is revealed, Tun goes from a protagonist to a villain, and Natre goes from the horror of the story to the victim. DFF seems equally interested in the idea of how truths get hidden and justice withheld. It also gives us an inversion of the source of horror. By the time we end episode 5, the group we've gotten to know over four episodes are clearly villains in our minds, their cruelty becomes the horror rather than the masked killer who we come to empathize with (or at least root for to some degree). Now how this fully plays out in the end might shift things. But currently (up through episode 9) this is a horror story locating horror in power and cruelty rather than simply reinforcing a more conservative world view of the non-normative monster.
Concluding Thoughts
Dead Friend Forever is mixing genres in a smart and deft way. It's clear that the writers and director are well versed in horror and are ready to play with genre conventions to deliver their ideas and themes. Some of the connections I'm making here might be happy coincidence where the works speak to each other mediated by my own perspectives and interpretation. But I also believe that the show is building on themes and traditions in horror and found footage horror specifically in smart ways. From the framing of shots, to the way they deftly speak to themes of (in)visibility, power, reality vs fiction, agency, and sexuality (among others).
Through all this, DFF has been incredibly genre savvy. While found footage plays on the idea of reality, DFF shakes that up by throwing a who-done-it mystery our way. Like in The Blair Witch Project, for much of the show, we don't know what's real or what's in the characters' heads. DFF, however, picks up where TBWP stops. At the end of TBWP, the characters are likely killed off camera, the source of the horror still left up in the air. DFF gives us this ambiguity, but then pivots and makes the show a mystery to solve rather than locating the horror in ambiguity. This is because the horror lies elsewhere. Like in Shutter, the monster becomes the victim, our sympathies are played with, and we're left with a show that is as interested in social and political critique as it is in having fun playing with horror tropes.
Sources:
Heller-Nicholas, Alexandra. Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality. McFarland & Company, 2014.
Badley, Linda. Film, Horror, and the Body Fantastic: Praeger, 1995.
Bonner, Hannah. “#Selfveillance: Horror’s Slut Shaming through Social Media, Sur- and Selfveillance.” Gender and Contemporary Horror in Film, edited by Samantha Holland et al., Emerald Publishing, 2019, pp. 85–99.
Cherry, Brigid. Horror. Routledge, 2009.
Shutter (film, 2004)
Cabin in the Woods (film, 2011)
Man Bites Dog (film, 1992)
The Blair Witch Project (film, 1999)
Paranormal Activity (film, 2007)
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weskin-time · 1 year
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@weskin-time
I have a request...🥺👉👈
I was wondering if u can make scenarios about The (shy) reader confessing (any REV) members *COUGH* (wesker) that they luv them for the first time and there like shock about it bc likeeee the reader is not really good at showing there feelings and there finally have the guts to say ittt to them. hopefully you understand what I'm meaning... 😅 
IM SORRY MY GRAMMAR IS SO BADD OMGGG
HI THIS IS CUTE AND I HOPE I DID WHAT YOU MEANT!! HAHAH (also sorry for taking forever)
i got carried away with an idea on Weskers sorry not sorry <3
RE CHARACTERS X SHY!GN!READER
Characters- Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Sheva Alomar
not beta read
Chris Redfield
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(drooling over this man frfr)
Chris is a good man and a great boyfriend. He knew you were shy, it’s what drew him to you in some sense, he’s been through so much and he thought your personality was a great change of pace compared to what he was used to. He asked you out and the rest was history.
About 3 months into the relationship is when he first said “I love you.” and boy howdy did it send you into a flustered spiral. You wanted to tell him it back but if felt like you were choking on the feelings in your throat, like you were frozen. Chris understood your hesitation, he’s never going to tell you that he finds it cute, but he never pressured you into saying the big words. But wow did you feel like ass for not being able to tell him you love him just as much as he does.
3 months have passed since then, you’ve tried to show him that you love him in other ways and right now you were helping him work out. ‘Helping him out’ as in sitting on the side lines and watching him all while providing conversation and water, sometimes you joined him but your whole body hurt watching him do those hellish burpees.
You helped him keep count all while staring at your boyfriend. The way his muscles flexed under his tight dark green athletic shirt, the way his biceps tensed as he pushed himself up, only to jump up and drop back down to the floor again where you counted the number higher. Chris was a good looking man, but my gods was he one of the sweetest men you’ve ever met in your life.
He cared about you, really cared about you. He listened to everything you said even if he could sometimes barely hear your mumbling when you’re out in public he would listen and respond to you instead of pushing you aside like a doormat. He cherished you and you him. Yes he did all the things normal boyfriends do for their partners but he went above and beyond to make you happy. Too scared to tell the cashier what you want? He would tell them what you wanted with a smile on his face. He never looked down on you for being anxious and shy, he respected you, he loved you for who you are and never got upset at you. He would comfort you in hard times, not yell at you to grow up or brush it off and live in the real world, he would tell you it’s okay and never push your limits. You loved him, and in turn you did anything for him.
“I love you Chris.”
It was out before you could even get a second thought in.
Chris almost fell to the floor in shock at the sudden outburst and confession all while your heart was racing in your ears and heat swarmed your face like flies to honey, the lump in your throat returned but this time of embarrassment.
Your boyfriend on the other hand looked awestruck. His eyes open wide and a smile spread upon his face. It made him look younger, the spark in his eyes, he almost looked like a different person.
You on the other hand we’re dying in your seat.
Suddenly he rushed over and pulled you up and into a hug, all while laughing like a drunk man had won a war, his hand cradling the back of your skull while his other went to your midsection to pull you as close to his sweaty body as he could. You laughed too as your arms wrapped around his neck. His hands changed positions as he pulled back to give your forehead a kiss, they both secured themselves around your waist and hoisted you up off the ground into a spin hug.
To say he was smitten with you would be an understatement.
———————————————————
Sheva Alomar
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(Woman by Doja Cat starts playing bARK BARK my wife.)
You may have fallen for Sheva the day you met her, honestly.
The two of you met through a mutual friend and the two of you just hit it off instantly. She was strong willed and loyal, kind and soft but could kick your ass in more ways than you could even know, not to mention she was radiating beauty with every breath she took.
She seemed to be curious about you at first more than anything, in her line of work she rarely meets shy people. She instantly respected you and didn’t ask you to speak up or act different, she listened to every word you said and didn’t poke fun at you. The two of you became fast friends, you asking her to teach you some fighting moves to which she agreed, and one thing lead to another and she asked you out on a date to which you of course said yes after almost dying in a sea of flustered mess.
2 months in is the first time she said ‘I love you’. She took you home from a date and as she gave you a kiss goodbye she said the three words. When you started your relationship you let her know before hand that emotions were hard for you to express, that they get caught in your throat and are blocked by your flustered tongue, she understood and still agreed to start a relationship with you, so she didn’t expect you to say anything back and she left with you standing at your door speechless.
3 months have gone by, nice and easy. Every time she says ‘I love you’ you respond with ‘you too’ like she’s telling you to have a nice day. You felt bad that you’ve yet to say it even though she told you it was alright you still felt bad about it, which in turn made your shyness worse, like a snake eating it’s tail. So you thought ‘fuck it’ and you were going to tell her tonight even if you exploded, she had to hear the words.
You took her to have a picnic and watch the stars. A lantern in hand you two hiked up a hill in the middle of no where, where light pollution wouldn’t ruin the view. She could tell the entire night that your nerves were on high, slightly shaking as you ate, a wobble in your voice, not to mention your cheeks radiated heat that could burn her if she touched them.
The stars were beautiful. The light dancing in the sky was nothing compared to your girlfriend. The two of you talked about nothing important, you could barely hear her over the sound of your heartbeat in your chest and the rushing of blood in your ears.
You looked to her, and he turned her body to face you, to stare at you with her beautiful dark eyes that the stars made its home, her hair loose and ticking her face, she was beautiful.
“I love you.”
The words spilled out of your lips before you told yourself to don’t even think about it. You instantly wanted to curl into a ball and evaporate, or maybe go to the hospital because your heart shouldn’t be beating this fast to be healthy.
She laughed, a smile as bright as the stars in the sky tugged at her lips, “I love you too.”
————————————————————
Albert Wesker
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(putting him into a blender i hate him /lh /hj)
Excella Gionne wasn’t always the Regional Director of Tricell, she was given that spot thanks to Albert Wesker, and thanks to him you became her assistant.
You’d first meet the man the day you became her assistant, Excella telling you it’s important to meet everyone you’d be working with along side her even if you’d be stuck at a desk job most days. This was days after she became the head of the Bio-weapons devision, before Jill Valentine, before Irving was hired, before the BSAA had their nose in Africa.
Excella practically forced you into a room to meet him, regardless of your stammering she never jumped in to help you make acquaintance. Through mumbled words and not looking at him the entire time you stated your name and that it would be a pleasure to work with him.
A pleasure it was indeed. It was funny in some regard to see your boss throw herself at a man who clearly had little to no interest in her, how she begged him to look at her and want her but his eyes never even looked at her for anything less than a glance. She wasn’t important to him, he was just using her, everyone and their grandmother could see it, you felt kinda bad for her in some way.
Wesker seemed to like you though, and not in the same way he ‘liked’ Excella. He teased you about your shy nature a lot, to where you think he made it a game to see how flustered he could make you, awkward social situations, bumping into you and ‘accidentally’ making you drop papers, asking if you have a fever or if you’re feeling alright. It was unending and yet he grew on you. Your shyness soon was doubled as you began to grow fond of him, even thinking he was attractive and yet you feared you were acting like Excella.
One day as you were dropping off samples to him and he asked you out. You thought it was a joke at first to get you to fluster but he was serious, so you agreed.
Dating your bosses businesses partner didn’t really go over well. Needless to say she fired you but thankfully your new boyfriend hired you as his own assistant, which honestly wasn’t fun because Excella still was his lap dog and just flirted with him to spite you knowing you would ‘never grow a backbone’ as she had put it once. She sucked.
About 4 months into your relationship it took a turn. You reminded him that it was time for his injection of the prototype virus, which he asked you for help with. You agreed and he taught you how to prepare and safely inject him with the serum. The next time he needed it you did it by yourself, which you were proud you didn’t shake and stab him in the wrong spot but as you were injecting it he made you look at him and he confessed.
Now if Albert Wesker was the embodiment of emotional constipation what did that make you?
2 months later he invited you back to his place for a three course dinner and desert. Fancy ass. Everything was set up, everything was fancy, your favorite food was brought to you first and the desert melted in your mouth and was so good you almost wanted to cry.
You stood with Wesker on the balcony of his penthouse, the night air cool against your skin as Wesker pressed you against him. He could feel how tense you were.
“Are you alright dear?” He looked down at you.
“Yea i’m fine don’t worry.” you gave an unconvincing chuckle.
He just cocked a brow at you as you breathed a little deeper and shook your head, trying to calm the beating of your heart and the nausea of your emotions.
“Hey Al?” You asked with your eyes screwed tightly closed.
“Yes my sweet?”
You opened them and turned your head to look at your boyfriend. “I love you.”
He seemed to freeze for a second, his eyes searching yours as you died inside fully embarrassed before he relaxed somewhat.
“I love you too dearheart.”
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