#so you dont waste as much time catching every single fish

[hassianlovebot]

i know the rare and epic bugs are supposed to be yknow,, rare and epic so it wouldn't make sense if they spawned all the time. that being said, it's bad enough that the game has time limits on certain bugs, adding super low spawn rates just makes it worse. imo players should never feel like they have to spend hours playing to catch one bug

[slutsofren]

Paint Me Red

Summary:  Being a struggling artist in a city filled of aspiring artists has always been rough, you were privileged enough to have a semblance of steady income thanks to the promotional work your manager, Poe Dameron, does for you. For the past however many weeks, you've become consumed with the works of an anonymous poet, one who has captivated their own cult following. Their works have inspired countless paintings of yours and in turn, you catch the eye of one Kylo Ren.

Tags: Kylo Ren reader insert / modern au / painter reader / poet Kylo / eventual romance / maybe smut idk / Kylo has Trauma but you dont have to “fix him”

Read on AO3 here!

Chapter 1: Gallery (below the cut)

You kept looking at the painting. No matter how many times you re-painted, reinterpreted this poem, your hands just couldn’t find a consistent translation between the words and your paint. You dropped the brush and leaned back in the chair, hanging your head as far back as you could and let out a loud groan.

“Why does this have to be so complicated ,” you exclaimed to nobody in particular. It’s been a month since you cooped yourself in this studio, a whole month! It felt like you’ve accomplished nothing but waste canvas and paint this entire time. All along the floor laid waste to the discarded abstract portraits you had produced and hated. Nearly a fraction had been left unfinished due to it just not working out.

You mumbled and grumbled while you stood and relocated to the workspace of the studio, where a computer and books had been thrown about. The computer woke, nearly blinding your eyes. What time is it anyways, you wondered. The sun had set some time ago, you knew just as much when you could barely see your work and were forced to lose focus to turn on a light. That distraction had really set you back.

A quick glance to your watch informed you that no, the sun didn’t just set a while back- it set well over six hours ago. The time had been creeping to two in the morning already, no wonder your eyes were straining so hard. When your computer unlocked and you opened your music app to play some background audio, you grabbed the leatherbound book that was inspiring your work.

Nobody knew who the author was, only that they released two-hundred and fifty black leather bound books with gold foiling titled “Mine” every couple of years. You were close friends to some editors down in San Diego, the same publisher that worked with this anonymous author and they were always kind enough to secure you a copy.

They wrote like it was the last thing they’d ever write, as if pain circulated through their veins. They wrote of being lost, being hurt, feeling such intense anger with no human outlet, and of being ignored and tossed away.

Sometimes they wrote like they’d be dead before the poem had ended.

Much of this resonated with you. Ever since you moved to Los Angeles, this magnificent city of wanna-be actors and musicians, seeing lights that inspired yet mocked the pedestrians down below, you’ve felt like you were dead yourself. When you moved here, all you ever wanted to be was a painter. It didn’t always matter what you painted, you loved a variety of styles and eras, as long as commissions paid the bills and your personal pieces sold at galleries, you were satisfied.

But sometimes being satisfied wasn’t enough.

You took the black book and opened to the poem you had been hyper-fixating on for the last couple of months since it was released. You interpreted it in as many ways as you could style your hair on any given day. This one spoke to you the moment you read it, it broke your heart, mended it, then threw it away all at once. To you, this particular poem breathed new life into your soul.

You read each line over and over, admired how this poet seemed to write effortlessly, as if it’s just how they speak. Gosh, what you would do just to meet and have a conversation, to understand the mysterious writer’s genius.

And so you kept painting, never seeing each unfinished canvas as a failure but rather an entirely different interpretation. You couldn’t let this get you down, you just had to keep working- keep picking up the paint and let loose.

As the days blended together, your manager, Poe Dameron waltzed into your workspace without a care in the world. You turned down the music that you had playing in the background while you worked.

He picked up one of your unfinished works, “I got you a gallery space, set for two weeks from now in Pasadena. Sponsored by the Norton Simon Museum.” The way these words rolled off his tongue was so nonchalant, you didn’t believe it.

You let out a choke, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you got a space, now give me something to tide them over with- oh, that looks nice can I take that one,” he grabs another unfinished painting. “Anyways, don’t worry about promoting it, they are all over it. They’re just calling it Artist Spotlight but they’re going to need a theme name.”

Your eyes drifted over your amazing manager, he worked just as tirelessly as you did with each and every one of his clients. It was no wonder he was married already, with a charming smile like his and the luscious hair to match made him a total darling.

“Let’s call it, Paint Me Red .”

“You got it, girl,” he walked over to you and gave a chaste kiss on your cheek and left with his silent goodbye. Although you were nothing more than his client, you loved him very much. He always gave you a rough time when you needed it but was always a person you could rely on to tell you the truth when you needed it.

To sum it up, Poe Damereon was a guy you paid to berate you like a protective older brother and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Those two weeks passed and you worked even more tirelessly. The artist in you was seldom satisfied by your creations but your manager reaffirmed even your “trash” paintings were more beautiful than the best modern oil paintings for which you found yourself taking the most comfort in.

It was difficult to remove yourself from this mindset but as your gallery expanded with each rise of a new day, you became prouder of not just what you painted but of yourself. This was going to be a showcase that you were to be proud of.

Your night came which brought nerves like no other. Los Angeles had a rough art community to grow and develop but this was the place for you. You arrived at the gallery, dressed as professional yet as fierce as you could in a shimmery silver gown that bared your shoulders in a skinny strap that had a plunging neckline. You wanted to wow your crowd with your paintings and yourself.

You poured your heart out over this collection- you wanted, more than ever, to receive a warm reception and maybe a little bit of praise in the meantime. It didn’t make you vain, it made you human.

The director of the art studio welcomed you with a glass of champagne and let you wander the space before it opened to the public. Your heart swelled with emotion as you glanced over all these white walls that supported your artwork. Abstracts, sharp lines on some, a couple that resembled portraits of a human-like void. Anything and everything of what could be taken of that single poem.

Over some small amount of time, guests began to fill the building, allowing others to finally view what you’ve worked tirelessly over these past however many weeks, well, months really. As the newness of this exhibit of yours wore off, you began to get antsy, started to bite on the inside of your cheek.

You felt eyes on you as you hid your face behind the fourth glass of champagne you managed to snag. The more nervous you felt, the hotter the room got. This is beginning to be way too much- oh stars, you can’t breathe- it feels like you’re dying, like you’re-

“Are these yours,” a dark voice asked behind you. You stood up straight and turned slowly, trying to get your mind away from whatever was happening to you.

“I- yes they are.”

This tall, handsome stranger looked at the painting that was next to you, something that mildly resembled Everts’ Studies in Desperation series. It was one of your darker interpretations, something filled with a little more hatred and angst than the rest.

“They’re very nice, what inspired you?”

Your mouth opened agaped and quickly shut, you didn’t want to look like a fish now. You opened up your bag and pulled out your trusty copy of Mine and showed the stranger. “This poet, their selections have always called to me but, Red, Mine would repeat in my head nearly nonstop until I picked up a brush and painted what it spoke to me.”

He grabbed the book from your hand and flipped through it slowly, sometimes reading the short notes you had written on some of the pages, like “I love this one,” or even, “I’ve felt like this before”. As he took his time going through the leatherbound poetry, you took this moment just to admire just how handsome the man before you is.

He stood tall and confident, long black hair that looked soft enough that you had to refrain from running your fingers through; his face was littered with constellation-like moles that truly gave his presence some warmth and beauty despite the deep angry red scar that cut threw them like a blade. The large crooked nose stood just as prominent as his ears but, by the stars, he made it work. All of these features suit his being so well, almost as if he was your own personal Adonis, you wanted to paint his beauty.

His long lashes finally looked up from your bookmarked page of Red, Mine where you had written very simply, “This one,” and a heart. He closed the black book with a small thud, almost entirely muted by the sounds of your audience mingling.

“You really liked that one,” he questioned as he handed the object back to you. You took it from him and gestured around you.

“All of these paintings represent how this one poem has made me feel. Loss, hope, anger, hurt, fear,” you paused while you looked at the man before you and held his gaze, “But most of all, this particular poem has made me feel accepted. Like I’m not alone. Almost like, it’s my turn to be strong, it’s silly-”

“No, by all means, no, it’s not silly,” he interrupted you. His eyes had grown wide and you realized he put his hand out to almost hold your shoulder but quickly retreated to put his hands in the pockets of his suit’s pants. His jaw flexed for a brief moment and he looked to his feet. “I have their collection too. It’s a good read from time to time.”

Your lips turned up in a small grin, “Yeah, they are. I’m glad to have met another Anonymous Poet enthusiast.”

He looked up at you and cleared his throat, “What’s something you’d say to them if you ever could?”

“Hmm,” you wondered, “That I love their work, I’d love to sit down and talk, wonder what they think- what their thought process is. Maybe thank them for helping me cope and tell them that I don’t think I’d be alive without their words. Heck, I’d even work up the courage and ask if they like my interpretations of their poetry. I’m not sure, what would you say?”

He looked at you almost like you had shot him, “I think I’d simply say that I’m sorry they went through whatever they did to get them where they are. That they’re stronger now.”

Before you had a chance to respond, Poe came and placed his hand on your arm and called your name, “Hey, girl. Time for your speech and then people can start buying your art.”

You looked back at your strange new friend and he gave you a small encouraging smile, “It was nice meeting you.”

As Poe began to drag you away you piped up, “I didn’t catch your name!”

“Kylo- Kylo Ren.”

You gave him a small wave before you turned your back on him and approached the stage. Poe did the honors of introducing you, calling your vision “illuminating and awe-inspiring”. Finally it was your turn.

You approached the glass podium with only a mild case of anxiety shaking within your bones. The lights, however warmly hued they were to temper against the constant rotation of art still seemed like a spotlight on you. You cleared your throat.

“Hi- hello,” you introduced yourself, mentioning you're the creator, “Thank you all very much for being here and supporting me tonight. This entire exhibit is decorated with a wide variety of my illustrations in both dedication of and inspired by the Anonymous Poet, creator of Red, Mine the poem. It is only fitting that I should read the very words that seemed to have possessed my mind these past couple months, you think?”

The audience gave a chuckle. You looked up and around, feeling hints of anxiety nipping at the silhouette of your being. Across the room, leaning against the small bar table, you spotted Mr. Ren and when he noticed you staring, he raised his glass of champagne. Urging you to continue.

It was almost as if his steady gaze and warm features guided your confidence to hold steadfast and ready, your courage multiplied and tingles at the tips of your body, sparking new found strength.This small gesture kept those dark hounds at bay in your mind.

You cleared your throat and began, “Red, Mine

This is how the story goes

It has never changed, never been altered

It didn’t make much difference

The twin suns are rising in the west now,

The world changed from when you knew me last

This is how the story goes

This life of mine would be snuffed in green lights

Then you were there to guide me

Truth is, you could never be thanked

I would never be forgiven

This is how the story goes

I snuffed the little lights that had mocked me

Tore down the buildings that confined me

I ran

I never stopped running

This is how the story goes

I found solace in red

This green and blue would have ended my life

The both of you tried and failed

I will live on bathed in black and red

This is how the story goes

This fire red consumed me

I consumed red

Now it’s your turn to run.”

At the beat of the last syllable, you could hear a warm applause, a gracious signal of congratulations. Your smile kissed the corners of your lips and your heart swelled with warmth. This was exactly where you were meant to be in life and you couldn’t be prouder of yourself.

Your speech wrapped up with the ceremonious thank yous and appreciation to all who came as well as the Norton Simon Museum for sponsoring the showcase. Not to mention the big fat check you got on their behalf.

Poe lent you a hand as you descended the platform, “Alright, now go mingle and sell some art!”

You gave him a warm kiss on the cheek and another wave of thanks. One hand took yet another glass of champagne as the other held your clutch tightly. Your heels clinked against the tile of the gallery as you floated in and out of conversation, selling your artwork and trying to network and make new professional relationships.

It was rather obvious that leaving early would be considered rude but your feet hurt as much as your eyes. All you wanted was your warm bed and soft music to lull you to sleep. You spotted Poe across the room speaking with a pale gentleman, donned in a navy blue suit and matching tie, his orange hair was just as slicked back as his authoritative presence. You watched as they shook hands and the stranger departed, leaving the building entirely without a glance back.

Poe caught your eye and his jaw dropped, just nearly bolting into a fast pace walk, attempting to keep whatever semblance of professionalism as he could without knocking any of the patrons over as he bee-lined straight to you.

“You will not believe what I’m about to tell you,” his brown eyes lit up.

You gave him a hesitant look, clearly it was good news but usually Poe Dameron was in a good mood usually meant him ending in some kind of trouble. “Then don’t tell me?”

Your manager gave you a deadpanned look and pulled out his clipboard, “Every single piece was sold before you even walked off the stage.” He handed you the order sheet and sure enough, each and every painting was bought by the same person, leaving only AP as the buyer’s name.

“AP?”

“Initials for a little someone called the Anonymous Poet,” with those words you instantly felt faint. There was no way, no goddamn way.

“Was that him? Poe, was that really him,” your voice faltered. Your hand rose to cover your open mouth, eyes wide.

He did nothing but shrug and give you a sly smile, admiring your shocked expression, “The man I talked to was not, rest assured, but clearly your muse admires you and your work.” Poe gave you a small squeeze on your shoulder, feeling your oncoming emotional whirlwind. “If you faint on me now, you won’t hear the best part,” he teased.

“What is it, tell me,” you rushed the words out as fast as you could, the heat licking at your skin as your anticipation mixed with anxiety.

Poe reached into his pocket and retrieved a sleek black business card and flashed it at you. “Expect an email within the next few days, your muse wants to talk with you.”

You felt Poe’s warm hands grasping your shoulders as you fell. After all, Poe did say to wait until after he gave you good news.

[yanjunmyworld]

When This Story Ends

Pairing: Yanjun x OC

Gif: linyanjun8

Genre: fluff, supernatural

A/N: i was inspired after watching the 2018 little mermaid movie. Its such a good new take on the story if you havent seen it you should check it out! I hope you like this story! Dont forget to leave some feedback ^^.

The bustling crowds paraded through the old market of Tianzifang, looking for whatever unique presents they could take home to their lovers and families. Little did anyone know that down one of the alleyways laid hidden the famous Iqyi dance studio. Famous for its rigourous training and producing only the most dedicated of dancers. The class consisted oh 9 boys and 2 girls; which is where we find our lead male.

The harsh beats pounded through the speakers, as the young taiwanese boy practiced last weeks choreography. Yanjun always made sure to arrive atleast 20 minutes early to recap every piece they learnt. He worked hard to get into this academy and wasn't going to waste a single second of it. He always knew he wanted to perform and share his passion with the world. To hopefully inspire others to follow their dreams like him someday and this was going to be his first stepping stone. Despite this being the main reason for his early arrival, there was another situation which also made his early practices seem the best possible solution. Y/N was the only other person to always be early to class. She was the object of his desires. He loved to watch as her body so effortlessly and gracefully balanced out the moves she was performing. How she would get the cutest of smiles whilst dancing, revealing her two faint hidden dimples. Y/N and yanjun had always had a good chemistry together. They were always eachothers partners and constantly flirting with bad pick up lines. So much so, that the others always tried to set up ways to make them kiss or something to move their relationship along. However for the past 6 months no matter how much they flirted, she would always denie his request for a date and have a different excuse prepared. This frustrated the young male. He has always been a smooth talker and never void of a womans attention but no one compared to her. She was his perfect match and he would do anything to try and make her see just how much he cared for her.

One day, another class mate Zhengting suggested he follow the girl after class to see where she goes. That way he wouldn't have to listen to Yanjuns conspiracy theories anymore. So thats exactly what he did. He followed her to Shanghai rail station onto the express train for Jinshan. He stood in the carriage next to hers leaving just enough space for him to see her and still be hidden. To conceal his identity even more he put on a black snap back and face mask. As he adjusted the brace straps and smoothed down his white shirt. He watched as she smiled looking down at her phone, her bright sparkling doe eyes lighting up as she tries to follow along to the choreography shes watching. Cute he thinks. He recalled her mentioning something about living in Jinshan, when it dawned on him that she was most likely going home. Great. Now I'm gonna look like those weird creepy stalkers thanks to Zhengting. if she catches me, I'm done for. He thought.

50 minutes later they arrived at the small seaside town. Various market stalls lined up against the seashore, selling a variety of meat and fish as well as grills to cook them on. The town wasn't particularly busy, most likely due to the autumn weather settling in.

He followed her down the sandy beach as she gazed at the rippling turquoise water. Her lighting up,exactlt the same as when she was dancing. As he followed her, he noticed them arriving at a smaller more secluded part of the beach, with a small alcove to the side. He watched as she dug up a small seashell box and placed her phone, money and travel card inside; before re-burying it. What a strange thing to do. He thought. However things kept getting stranger. He noticed the female starting to strip off her clothes which brought a light pink blush to his face. No matter how much his brain was telling him to look, he adverted his eyes out of the respect he had for her. It was only once he heard a splash that he looked back to find her gone. He couldnt even see any ripples in the water. How could she just dissappear. That's when his thoughts kicked into overdrive. His first instinct was that she was drowning and so he quickly stripped off and rushed into the water to look for her. Once again finding no sign of life anywhere. That was until he heard a faint melodical voice and a light splashing. He started to walk as quietly as he could further into the ocean not caring that the water was now up to his hips.

Thats when he saw it. A aquamarine tail gently bobbing up and down against the current; as a young girl perched her elbows up on a rock. The more he stared the more he knew he recgonised that small face and bright brown eyes all too well. It was Y/N but with a tail. The young taiwanese male rubbed his eyes causing them to sting slightly from the sea water to make sure he wasnt seeing things. His mind couldn't comprehend what he was seeing to be true. Mermaids aren't real. He thought. He watched as she sorrowfully sang to herself as if the whole weight of the world was on her shoulders. Which was a 180 degree change from the happy go lucky gurl he knew.

"It's so enchanting,I'm trapped and drowning here for everyone to see.

They didn't notice.

How far away i am from everyone and everything.

Silly to have gambled with my heart out on the line

I guess thats just the way it goes. But I'm holding on

I know a day will come when i can be myself again.

And i hope someone will love me.

When this story ends."

Without thinking Yanjun rushed forward screaming out.

"Y/N"

He body jumped fro. the startle of his voice and as her eyes locked with his, they opened wide before she quickly dive into the ocean and swam away.

Since that day y/n had stopped comming to class. Naturally all the boys teased him saying he scared her off with his stalker antics. Which was sort of true but if only they knew. After a full week of absences Yanjun couldn't take it anymore. Everyday his head ran with thoughts and theories and how much he missed her; how he needed answers and he needed them now. Otherwise he would believe he really had gone insane. He decided from that point to go to the beach every single day in hopes of catching her once again. Atlas every day ended up in failure. On the 7th day, just as Yanjun was about to go home, he had the strongest urge to stay until nightfall. So he waited aimlessly staring at the ocean hoping for even a glimpse of her.

Finally he saw a glint of her aquamarine tail again. He made his way out into the ocean to see her perched up on the same rock as before. He stealthily made his way around another rock so he was close enough but still hidden in order to not scare her again.

"Y/N! please don't run away, i just want to talk... I'll even stay hidden so you don't have to see me." He pleaded.

"You do realise i know you have been there the whole time right." She sighed.

"What! I thought i was being an ultimate ninja."

He peered his face out from behind the rock only to discover no sight of her again. That was until he felt a splash of water trickling down his back, followed by a faint giggle.

"No,this is called being a ninja."

How he had missed her laughter. He turned around to look at her and studied every detail. How her long black wet hair shone under the moonlight. How she flashed the soft dimple smile towards him, earning his dimpled smile in return.

"I missed you y/n. Why don't you come to class anymore? Why did you run away? How are you a mermaid? I mean not that your not a hot mermaid but i always thought they were fairytales." He rambled on.

"Slow down Yanjun. I suppose i should answer every question, seeing as you havent left this entire week."

"You knew?"

"Yep"

"So you was just torturing me!" He laughed.

"Yes and no... I...I was scared"

Her voice trailed off as she sat herself uppn the rock bobbing her tail up and down and gestured for Yanjun to sit beside her. So he wouldn't catch a cold.

"I haven't been comming because i was scared what you thought of me. Scared that you had told everyone and that they would outcast me... i haven't exactly had the best luck with humans who found out."

"You don't know how insane I've been going without you! I even have to partner up with Justin and you know how unfocused he is!!! If i told people, they would assume I'm crazy." He laughed

"You might just be crazy Junnie."

She laughed poking his cheek. Yanjun then wrapoed his arms around her and pulled her down into his chest; gently stroking her damp hair and placing a soft kiss upon her head. Resulting in a small pink blush appearing on her cheeks.

"I would never hurt you y/n... you're too important to me."

"Don't you find this weird or disgusting?" She pointed to her tail.

"Nothing about you could ever be disgusting." He smiled.

She the wrapped her own arms around his waist, smiling as she listened to the soft beating of his heart. This was a new experiance for y/n and she was loving every bit of it.

"Tell me everything y/n...please." He pouted as he continued stroking her hair.

"Well...I've always been a mermaid. But one day i saw a group called Nex7 performing on the beach and i was so captivated by their dance style. I had always wanted to dance. The way human bodies could move like that on two legs was beautiful to me. Especially when i could see couples dancing together. There were so many wonders to the human realm that i wanted to be like you people... we have a legend in our species. That a mermaid princess made a deal to become a human for the sake of her love and if she failed she would return to being a mermaid forever. No one knows the ending of the story, so i went to our king and begged for my own chance. The king hates humans...but he's not heartless so we made a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

Yanjun's voice was very concerned by this point. What had she gotten herself into. Was it dangerous? Was the king actually evil? Is he gonna have to run a boat through somebody like in the disney movie? The possabilities were endless.

"I have 1 year... to pursue my dreams of dancing and finding love but i can only be on land for 4 hours before turning back... should I fail or fall for someone who is not my true love... i will be forced to remain a mermaid forever and never have the chance to become human again..." Her voice trailed off.

"So that's why you can't go on a date with me."

"It's not that i don't want too... but i physically can't."

"How long has it been?"

"11 months... my time is running out"

she sighed before diving into the ocean again, letting the salty water cover up her tears again befire resurfacing.

"How do you know if its true love or not if you dont try y/n."

Yanjuns deep brown eyes gazed into her own with such a pleading look, that she couldn't help but feel sadder. She liked Yanjun she really did, but if he wasn't her true love she couldn't take that risk.

"I dont know... one time a seer told me that we will have a instant connection and he has the blood of the ocean within him."

"Just give me a chance, I've been flirting with you long enough" he laughed. "I promise i won't kiss you or anything and i will come to the beach every day so we can date like this."

He smiled jumping off the rock and taking a hold of her hands.

"One chance y/n. Thats all I'm asking for."

She thought about it hard as she observed the young male. How his height towered over her but wasn't intimidating. That soft look he had in his eyes,whenever he looked at her and how they would sparkle when he was dancing. The way his dimples revealed themselves to her and how esoecially breath taking he was at the moment. With his short black hair a watery mess and small water droplets trickling down his abs. Her time would soon run out and she had to make a choice.

"Well even if you aren't my true love,with such little time it looks like im gonna be a mermaid anyway... so I will give you the chance Lin Yanjun." She smiled.

A small grin appeared on his face as he pulled her into his chest again. The heat between them made the cold nights ocean feel like a pin prick. He kept the promise of comming everyday with her after class so they could have their dates. No matter how many times Yanjun wanted them to skip classes so they could go on a real date, Y/n always denied him. She knew his passion for dancing was just as strong as her own and she couldn't let him waste his time on her. Especially if time did run out she knew her dreams would carry on through him.

They'd have picnics at the beach that Yanjun would spend hours preparing, thanks to Zhangjing teaching him how to cook. They'd slow dance on the sand and she would show him all her favourite spots and hiding places so he could always find her. Yanjun always wanted to steal kisses from her but it took all his energy to stop himself out of respect for their promise. The more time he spent with her the more he fell. The way she would sing him a different song every night. How she would gift him rare seashells or other treasures she'd stumble upon. He marked down every single date so he could remember what they had done and how long they had left. But as time went on he found himself not caring if she stayed a mermaid,he would find a way for them to be together.

Before they knew it,it was their last day together. Luckily it fell on the day of the annual beach festival. Various attractions and market stalls were set up on the beach and he finally convinced y/n to sacrifice their dance class so they could spend their last day properly. They walked up amd down the different stalls, y/n getting more excited each time as she had always wanted to attend one of these events. Yanjun made sure to buy never ending supplies of ice cream and candy floss as they ran up and down the beach playing. Dancing along to the smooth beats of the music playing. Y/n had always wanted to ride a ferris wheel and luckily enough one was there lit up by the multicoloured lights against the night sky.

As they headed towards the que,Yanjun noticed a fortune teller gesturing to him. He sent y/n ahead using the excuse that he needed the bathroom before heading towards the young male. The mysterious man was dressed head to toe in a red and black theme with his short black hair slicked back. He had a innocent smile upon his face as he gestured for Yanjun to sit down.

"I got a strong urge when i saw you to read your future."

"And you are?"

"I'm the great Fan Chengcheng. 100% accuracy, never failed." He giggled. "Now give me your hand."

"Why?"

"So i can read your palm idiot. The cosmic spirits are urging me to do it and if i dont they will never shut up."

Reluctantly Yanjun gave him his hand and the young male started to study it.

"You're a very interesting person, i see great fortune in your future... but theres something unique about your blood and the spirit inside you."

"Go on."

Yanjun made his way quickly back to the queue to discover y/n nearly at the front. She hit him gently for taking his time.

"If you were gonna poop,you could of said. Everyone kept looking at me pitifully like i was a loner."she pouted

"I wasn't! I got distracted by a seller and just about escaped! As long as no one hit on you that's all that matters."

Time passed quickly and they were already at the top of the ferris wheel. Y/N was fascinated by the view and how small the town appeared from the height. Her attention was so distracted it was like Yanjun wasn't even there. So he got up and sat himself next to her, pulling her into his chest again.

"Yanjun!!! I wanna see!"

"Let's just stay like this a bit...please."

Y/n smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist listening to his heart beat again.

"I'm going to miss hearing this..." she sighed.

"This heart only beats for you,so without you it's non existant."

"Yanjun..."

"Even if i have to become a merman or something, I'll never leave you and I'll never love another person."

"You cant do that for me.... your hopes and dreams are worth so much more than this fantasy of us and you deserve so much love."

"I would give up my world for you y/n. I love you"

"I...i love you too Yanjun"

He took ahold of her hand and rushed them over to her spot as time was quickly running out. As she jumped into the ocean turning back into a mermaid, he glanced down at his watch. 2 minutes left.

" Yanjun... thank you for everything." She struggled to hold back the tears. "You are truly the most beautiful human I've ever met inside and out. my world has changed for the better because of you. I never thought i could find love, after the way the men in this world treated me. But i realise now, I love nothing more in my life than you."

"I told you from the day we met, that you were my angel that fell from heaven. I meant every word. I love you and only you. I will mever love anyone ever again. I will find a way for us y/n. So never forget me."

"I could never forget you Lin Yanjun."

Just as the last couple of seconds to midnight passed away, she pulled his neck down and placed her soft pink lips against his. Yanjun gently biting her bottom lip begging for for entrance as their tongues greeted eachother passionately and then she was gone.

"DAD WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WAS GONE!" WHAT SORT OF STORY IS THIS? SEE THIS IS WHY I SAID I DON'T BELIEVE IN MERMAIDS." the eldest boy yelled.

"I haven't finished the story yet son." He laughed.

"I believe daddy!" The youngest smiled gripping her teddy bear tight.

"Do you want to know what the fortune teller told him that day?."

"YES" they both screamed."

“He said you have the blood and spirit of a mermaid inside of you.”

Both kids looked at each other with eyes and mouths wide open.

“THAT MEANS!”

“That means it’s time for bed.” 

A young woman walked into the room, her white dress flowing as she walked towards the two young kids and tucked them both into their beds, placing a soft kiss upon their heads.

“Mum, we want to know the end of the story!” The eldest whined.

“You’ll find out the rest, when this story ends.” 

She sang slightly before giggling and turning on the night light for the children. The young man turned off the lights as he took a hold of his wife’s hand and walked out of their kids room closing the door.

“Yanjun we promised we wouldn’t tell them until they are older!”

“What’s the harm in them thinking it’s a fairytale for now. A beautiful romantic fairytale. It did me no harm!” he stuck out his tongue at her.

“That reminds me. You never told me Cheng Cheng said you have mermaid blood within you. Or that you met that sly Fan Cheng Cheng at all!” 

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking towards him dissapprovingly.

“If I had told you, then our last moment wouldn’t of been as romantic...plus how was i meant to know he was the seer you met in the ocean, he was human!”

He laughed as he placed a kiss upon her lips.

“You ass! I really thought I was going to lose you then and you knew all along. Do you know how much courage it took for me to kiss you!”

“Not as much courage is needed now though.”

He winked and smiled picking her up bridal style carrying her to the bed in their bedroom and placing her gently down upon it. before placing another kiss on her forehead.

“Who would of known my grandfathers stories about a mermaid and a human were true all along.” He laughed

A/N I hope you liked it. The song she sings comes from the sound track of the little mermaid 2018 movie and is called when this story ends! Which is where i got the name of this fic from too haha.  In regards to fated blood i’m taking a short break from it until i can work out properly where things are going with that, but i will have many more smaller fics in between that time.

[edenfalling]

Ooh! Homestuck, Dirk, Roxy, cuddle. It's the post-Sburb world, and there are too many people all the time, and only Dirk and Roxy want to flee screaming to a (pair of) faraway mountains. Bring back the blissful solitude of the post-apocalypse.

Notcompliant with the credits snapchats, because reasons. :) [2,700 words] 

---------------------------------------------Some Little Talk aWhile of Me and Thee--------------------------------------------- 

The stupid part is, up until that one moment, Roxy washaving a really good night. All her friends (except Dirk, who hung grimly onthrough dinner and absconded immediately thereafter) together in one room, enoughdinner for everyone to eat their fill and then dessert on top of that, thepleasant ache of an honest day's work building the infrastructure of their newworld... yeah. A good night. 

Except the thing is, as much as she needs people -- and sheneeds people a lot, needs that feedback loop of attention paid and returned --there's a big difference between hanging out online and hanging out with adozen people jammed together in a single room. And she hasn't been gettingalone time during the days either, always busy working with a crew ofcarapacians (who at least are quiet) and consorts (who are emphatically not). 

Roxy doesn't notice the slow buildup of stress, but she canpinpoint exactly when the night tips from I-can-manage to oh-god-make-it-stop. 

She's been kibitzing on the edges of Rose, John, and Jane'smeal planning session (defusing any baby disagreements before they grow intoanything serious), keeping half an ear on the Pictionary session Callie,Kanaya, and Terezi have going in the far corner, and watching Jade gleefullyannihilate Dave and Karkat at Mario Kart. It's maybe a little bit much to betracking all at once, but the satisfaction outweighs the strain until Davethrows a piece of popcorn at Jade, who teleports it into the tangle of Karkat'shair, who draws breath in preparation for an inside-voice-what-inside-voicerant, and Roxy is abruptly and completely done.Zip, zilch, finito, cutlery shop's closed up and all the merchandise is gone. 

She shoves herself up from the warm and squashy armchair shestaked out as her private territory back when they first built this grouphouse, and says to nobody in particular: "I'm gonna go check on Dirk, it'sbeen a while since he noped out and I want to make sure he hasn't broken his neckor started a robot apocalypse in his sleep." 

Rose and Jane break off their debate over the relativemerits of fish tacos and sushi to give her a pair of sharp glances. John justlooks adorkably confused. 

Roxy dredges up a smile from her last reserves of sociability. 

It must not be very convincing, because Rose frowns andtenses like she's going to ask if Roxy needs any help, or maybe even stand upand give her a hug. Her concern is like a warm mug of hot chocolate, but thething about warm mugs of hot chocolate is they're awesome on a frigid winterday after messing around in the snow for a couple hours, but this specific timeand place are more like a metaphorical scorching summer day when you're alreadysugared out and anything sweet makes you want to gag. In other words, amomdaughter's loving attention is nice in theory, but it's not conducive tonoping the fuck out of the room, not to mention if anyone touches her rightnow, Roxy might actually break down and scream. 

Fortunately, Jane rescues her. 

She does something to Rose -- elbows her? kicks her underthe coffee table? hard to say -- and while Rose is busy trying to regather hertrain of thought, Jane grins at Roxy, somehow managing to make the expressionboth obviously fake and equally obviously made of 24-carat solid goldsincerity. 

"That sounds like an excellent plan!" she says."When you find him, tell him that Jade needs to run the latest plans forthe electricity grid past him, particularly the battery storage systems forevening the solar and wind outputs. I think the files are in the civilengineering dropbox account, so he shouldn't need to ask her for anything untilhe's finished reviewing and annotating them." 

Roxy nods. 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Scram!" Janemakes little shooing motions with her hands. 

Rose, apparently catching on to Roxy's actual state of mind,smiles benevolently and waves goodbye. "Au revoir," she says in herperpetually dry tone. "If anyone asks where you are, I'll tell them I sentyou to give daddy dearest my love, perhaps in the form of seagull pie." 

Jane rolls her eyes. John snickers and sticks out his tonguein mostly mock-disgust. 

"Thanks, guys," Roxy manages to say, and flees. 

--------------- 

After a indeterminate period of time trying not tohyperventilate in her en suite bathroom, she sits cross-legged on her bed andwonders if she ought to make good on her escape excuse. 

Dirk's even worse with large groups than Roxy is and doesn'tmake any attempt to pretend otherwise, but he's still human (no matter how muchhe sometimes dislikes that fact) and even the most introverted human is, atbase, a social animal. And not all contact has to be as overwhelming as groupevents. 

Roxy pulls out her phone, briefly contemplates calling him,then tosses that plan right the fuck out the window. Voices are bullshit. Textis their mutual mother tongue, and she'd bet at least half a baby universe Dirkisn't up for vocalizing right now. 

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified[TT] -- 

TG: the thing nobody ever tells you about other people ishow fuckin NOISY they areTG: amiright?TG: i never thought id say this, but i miss ourpost-apocalyptic disaster zoneTG: not like, the looming threat of the batterwitch n shit,but the quietTG: maybe even some of the survivalist stuffTG: rose and the crockerberts gave me the weirdest look wheni said we should make seagull pie for our next movie night extravaganzaTG: there is GOOD EATING on seagullsTG: and they make a nice change from fish you know?TG: i thought id finally gotten away from descaling fishwhen we ditched sea hitlers water hellscape, but nopeTG: here we are back to fish for every meal that doesnt comestraight from our alchemiters and dwindling stocks of gristTG: (its ok you dont have to talk back if you dont want to)TG: (i just wanted to bitch to someone who gets it)TT: It's cool.TT: I know exactlywhat you mean about the quiet.TT: If you're game toendure the ultra minimum of human contact, i.e., breathing within the samecubic meter of air, I'm on the roof by the south chimney.TT: If not, I can seethe dock and it's currently unoccupied.TT: Assuming this isa day when the incessant susurrus of waves will invoke positive memories ratherthan negative ones, that could make a decent temporary retreat.TG: awww, ur a sweetie, sitting watch over our friends likea depressed gargoyleTG: on due consideration im ok with breathing your grosspre-breathed airTG: maybe if we get really daring we can work up to touchingpinky fingers!TG: le gaspTT: Scandalous. What will the neighbors say?TT: But I'm down forperversion if you are, Ms. Lalonde.TG: k hang onto your panties, im coming up 

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified[TT] -- 

--------------- 

Roxy scrambles over the edge of the roof (she could justfly, of course, but where's the fun in that?) to find Dirk not just near thesouth chimney but actually curled up in the angle where it meets the solartiles, using the heat radiating from the bricks to counter the early autumnchill. He has his shades off in deference to the darkness, but his eyes are closedinstead of aimed up toward the frankly gorgeous light of the pink and whitemoons, both approaching full tonight. 

Roxy flops back against the dark tiles of the roof, armsspread wide, and watches the moons flirt with thin veils of cloud. Her friends'voices drift out of the open windows downstairs, but distance and the ambientsounds of wind and wave blur them into a companionable sort of white noise. Theconsorts' various weekend parties are louder, but further away; noticeable onlywhen a line or two of song finds a favorable breeze or a new branch tossed on abonfire sends a gust of sparks above the trees and roofs of the slowly growingtown. 

The carapacians' celebrations, of course, make no sound. 

She and Dirk breathe in companionable silence for nearly anhour, while the white moon travels fifteen degrees toward zenith and the pinkmoon nearly twenty degrees in the same direction, edging toward partialeclipse. Roxy's still kind of giddy over the orbital mechanics of a three-bodysystem, and the difference two moons make in the rhythm of the tides. It couldtake years to work the changes into her bones. 

She has years tospend on things like that. She spent her whole childhood isolated and trappedunder an incessant, shadowy weight. Now it's gone. She's free. She's not aloneanymore. 

It would be nice if she were better at coping with thatchange. 

Beside her, Dirk sighs, pulls his legs up to his chest, andrests his face between his knees. Something's gone cockeyed in his head again,and if nobody interrupts him he'll just debate himself into knots and grandiose'for your own good' bullshit stunts. 

And hey, an hour of silence isn't enough to get Roxyanywhere near ready to face a crowd, but it's more than enough to talk to heroldest friend. 

"The dumbest thing," she says, jumping straight inbecause what's the sense in wasting mouth noises on irrelevancies, "isthat weekend movie nights aren't even party-parties,nothing loud or crazy intense. It's just all our best friends hanging out oncomfy sofas playing goofy sleepover games, but stupid me got so wound up I hadto run screaming into the night. Otherwise I would've lost my shit at them overfish tacos and a popcorn fight, and that's just wrong with a capital R." 

"Capital W," Dirk mutters, uncurling slightly andtilting his head until a sliver of orange iris is visible over the edge of hisright knee. 

"Pedant," Roxy says, rather than draw attention tohis temporary lack of shades. "I just keep thinking, it shouldn't bug meso much. You've got a perfect excuse to flip out at extended socialinteractions, mister raised-by-robots. I actually had real live neighbors. Ishould be over this by now." 

Dirk shrugs, which looks incredibly doofy when he's allcurled up like a pill bug. "As people keep telling me, brains aren'tparticularly logical organs. Besides, there's a pretty big difference betweensign language and a dozen plus people with actual vocal cords, some of whomhave a tragically shaky grasp of appropriate volume control." 

"Ha. Yeah. Still." 

"Still," Dirk agrees. 

Roxy spreads her arms wide, staring up at the moons and theas-yet-unnamed constellations of their new universe, galaxy, solar system.Their new sun's a little brighter than Sol used to be -- a little smaller inthe sky, a little more pure-white than yellow-white -- and more like Alternia'ssun in its position vis-à-vis galactic center, which makes for some amazinglydense and brilliant starscapes. And she's saying this as a person who grew upwith no artificial light to blank out old Earth's night skies. 

"Humans made the trolls' signs into constellationswithout any outside influence, just the shape of the universe orsomething," she muses. "I wonder if it's cheating to design ourconstellations ourselves." 

Dirk shrugs again, a faint movement of shadow against darkershadow in the corner of her vision. "All our sessions were fucked from thestart; we had to cheat just to get out alive. What's a little more cheatingcompared to that? Ethical qualms aside, I'm pretty sure this planet isn't goingto be the focus of any future Sburb sessions. That dubious honor goes to the billionsof native planets kicking around this universe. If anyone's getting gentlymanipulated into using three-eyed cats and purple horrorterrors as part oftheir star myths, it's all those statistically inevitable aliens out there inthe wild black yonder." 

"I bet their myths kick ass," Roxy says. 

"I believe that's more or less implicit in thedefinition of the word. I'm not sure what they'll make of a hat or an LPrecord, though," Dirk says. 

This time it's Roxy's turn to shrug. "Old-schoolD&D monsters, maybe? Or no, ten gets you one they'll go with crows andseagulls instead." She pauses, reconsiders. "Then again, Terezi'ssymbol is basically a giant lab tool with a shit-ton of cultural baggage, andKarkat's is kind of like, handcuffs, right? Maybe hats wind up as a symbol ofintellect and general badassery -- oh! or artificial life, like Frosty theSnowman's magic hat, 'cause of your robots and puppets thing -- and recordssymbolize creativity and art and stuff." 

"Hats as a symbol of hubris and overreach, morelikely," Dirk mutters. 

Roxy wriggles sideways until she's just close enough toflick the fingertips of her left hand against the side of his shoe. "Knockit off, dumbass. Nobody gets to badmouth my best friend -- not even my bestfriend." 

Dirk unburies his face and meets Roxy's eyes straight on,one eyebrow raised. "I was under the impression that that title belongedto either Jane or Calliope. When did I inherit the position, and why was I notpreviously informed of this change in status? Are you sure you're followingfriend protocol correctly?" 

Roxy flicks his shoe again. "Friendship is a bigcategory! You're all, like, different instantiations of the concept of 'bestfriend' -- Callie's my squee and kissing partner, Janey's my partner in crime,Rosie's my sister, Jake's my goofing off friend, Dave's my surrealism feedbackdude, John's my maybe-kinda-sorta other kissing partner, and so on and soforth. You, Dirk Strider, are theperson who knows me best in two and a half entire fucking universes. Okay?You're the one who knows what it's like. If I ever run off to be a hermit on amountaintop, I want you to come be a hermit on the mountain next door. We cansend heliograph messages back and forth, or learn how to yodel and shit, andonce a month we'll get together and have a wild and crazy hermit party, justthe two of us. That's the kind of best friend you are for me." 

Dirk is silent for a long moment. Then he unwraps his righthand from his legs and lets it drop downward until his fingertips are justbrushing the soft, ticklish (completely un-carapacian) skin of Roxy's leftwrist, right over the veins carrying blood back to her heart. 

"All that, back at you," he says. 

Roxy blinks back a sudden rush of tears, and laces theirfingers together. Dirk lets her. 

"Jade has some electric grid plans for you to lookover," she says after a minute. "You can do that anywhere,right?" 

"Yeah," Dirk says. 

"Then come seagull hunting with me tomorrow. Just the twoof us, out on the water. Like old times. I have a harpoon gun I've been wantingto try out, and we can tell anyone who complains that we're taking soundingsand stuff for potential tidal generators. Hell, we can even actually do that.But I miss you. I keep getting tangled up in everyone else and losing sight ofus." 

Dirk squeezes her fingers. From him, it's as good as a hug. 

"Yeah," he says. "It's a plan." 

Roxy looks up at the night sky rather than try to put heremotions into words. There's a patch that looks a bit like a cat with wings, ifshe squints and takes some heavy artistic license. She holds up her phone inher right hand and adjusts the camera settings until she can snap a usefulpicture. She'll photoshop the constellation in later tonight and show it toDirk tomorrow: their friendship, immortalized in stars. 

"Cool," she says. 

They watch the pink moon overtake the white one in silence,fingers still entwined, the same air pumping in and out of their lungs. 

--------------------------------------------- 

End of Fic 

--------------------------------------------- 

It's still a little disjointed, I think, but whatever. Iwin. \o/

[miallday]

✨2019✨ Jan.-July.

wow. You were a hard year, but you had a great ending to it.

January: I let go of my toxic relationship of 5 years. I let go of his entire family. We ended on a bad note.. pretty much all of them. Sarah and I had an awful fight. I was angry during one of my conversations with Maia. I was so hurt. I remember I was also broke. Like I had less than $100. I went through all my savings for 6 months. I am so blessed I was able to pay all my bills.. all on my OWN. I moved out from my apartment, separating myself from those familiar faces and became a live in nanny. I started school again.. from scratch. I went to school and worked, but I was still broke since I didn’t get paid. I lived off the 200$ a month from my church job. I wanted my head shaved. This is an easy decision. It had been over a year of thought. Jacob was so kind to do it for me. That was the first time I wore his clothes. I liked it. That was also the first time I slept on his bed. I was scared, I didn’t sleep well that night. But waking up that morning it made me happy. I was ok. Now I’m just bald. Yikes. But I liked the wig look... until hair started growing in. In the month of January I began praying to God so much. I remember one night I spoke to God and asked him to show me what to do. Show me the Autrys true colors. To show me the cards. Lay them on the table. Later on that month I had a dream giving me the answers. Time to let go. Jacob called me telling me about Shonté getting this chicks # and stuff and she looked just like Stefany. Jacob came to my rescue again. Jacob, Marcus and I went out that night. I remember it was the first week living at carols. My first Friday night out!! To zen! I’m 21! It was so fun! Jacob suggested putting my phone on airplane mode and the next day I ended everything with Shonté. He told me to go fuck myself... then texted me saying “ i dont know when but one day I will show you that I love you” lol... that’s the “love” I had for 7 years. (5 + the 2 we were talking.) wow. I wish none of that happened. I am embarrassed of it all. I had no self love at all. I didn’t know what love was. I was trying to find love in all the wrong places. I look back and I wish I could just hug my younger self. I am so glad I am out of that. ALL of it. I was in so much pain. I am thankful for Jacob. I really am, but I am also so proud of myself for finally choosing myself and my happiness. I put myself first for once in my life.

February: I wanted to ignore the hurt that I was feeling. I regret ever talking to justin. I shouldn’t have done it. I knew it was wrong. I didn’t want him to kiss me. I wanted to move my head, but I was lonely. I’m sorry. I knew you loved me since the 7th grade. It was nice catching up on life. We may have been best friends but Sam really did take you away from Zahria and I for years. I tried to tell you that we were just talking. I knew I didn’t want more, I’m sorry for going along with those conversations. I shouldnt have sexted you. I shouldn’t have made out with you in your car. I led you on. I am so sorry. It was wrong. I was lonely and I thought maybe our long friendship must mean maybe there could be more. But you were too much for me. You took me to meet your whole family on our first date. I spoke to everyone of course, but you continuously asked “are you having fun”. Ugh Justin I missed my friend. I hated when we were in the car stopped at a red light you’d want to kiss me over and over and over. I’d say stop & you wouldn’t. I didnt want this. I could never love you the way you needed to be loved. I am so happy you found someone, but Apart of me regrets losing my guy bestfriend since middle school, but after all that happened it’s too late. You became clingy and told me you loved me too fast. It was only a month. & you’d say it so often. You made me feel suffocated. I didn’t have that love connection with you. It was TOO much for ME. You’d call me every night around 7/8pm and you keep talking until 1am. I’d get frustrated bc I’m serious about my sleep. I’d say bye and you would somehow find another topic. So I even told you to give me space. While you were blowing up my phone I was sleeping next to Jacob in his bed, getting high and doing acid with him. Nothing happened ever, but you never knew. You just knew I was there. That’s how I knew I didn’t want this.. I could never commit to you. I knew you weren’t it. I wanted to be around Jacob more than I ever wanted to talk to you. And I’m sorry. This one day before work I walked up to a church and I sat down on their bench outside. It was like 8pm and I spoke to God. I asked him to show me if you were meant to be in my life.. not to long later God showed me the answers. The fact that after I went to visit Jenn for her birthday and Jacob mentioned who she saw him marrying I knew it was me but I was afraid I would be right and things would get awkward. But somehow Jacob smoothly brought up our pact by 30 if we were still single we’d get married and I was ok with that. Or when we did acid that day I was making a floor angel.. before we fell asleep I told you I didn’t mind being with you if by 30 we didn’t have anyone. My heart was with Jacob before I even knew.

March: Jacob and I began hanging out. During my spring break we went out to eat. We drank. I got high from brownie crumbs you shared with me. We drank. In the Uber I leaned on you and I dosed off, but you put your hand on my leg. I felt it but with you I wanted you to keep you hand there. We got to his place and we talked about tattoos. You even helped me decide what to do with mine and then we ended up wrestling. It was fun. Nothing more. That whole week we hung out. I went to go visit you in pentagon city. We texted daily. Anyways, Wednesday March 13 you kissed me. A couple days before I had a feeling something would happen between us. I was in shock that you kissed me. I dont know, I just never put mind to it. I accepted you for who you were, but I always turned my head bc I knew your body count. I am sorry for judging you. I did accept you, but that kept me from looking at your direction the whole time we were friends. I dont know if that sounds shitty of me. There was also something going on between you and Zahria and I really didn’t like it. In all honesty I didn’t want to give her your number the first time. Back in cityside. Big yikes. Anyways. I liked you. I liked how it felt when you kissed me. I wanted to know if you’d kiss me again. Then next morning you kissed me and said “does that answer your question.” So cute. From this moment I told Justin to let me go and find someone else. I didn’t want to waste his time. I wanted to do things right. For St.Patricks day Jacob invited me out to DuPont circle! This parents were there. That night was fun. Jacob and I clicked in a different way. We were out together. I held his hand for the first time outside. I also called him bby. There was a connection. I remember that night pretty clearly. Anyways, Jacob & I had sex like a week later. I wanted to. I wanted you. I wanted you since my 20th birthday. On acid I looked at you when I was laying on my bed and I literally said I wanna fuck him but I knew that was wrong of me to think that. I wasn’t scared the first time we did it. It was definitely better than my first time lol. And it was mutual and we were sober. That.. helps me.. in all honesty. All the time I think of that and I smile. The next day.. oof it was the first time I ever had good sex. It was hard having sex with you for a while after that though. I really felt like I lost my virginity. It was rough for a while. I am so lucky. I was always embarrassed but you helped me feel better. I’m sorry for bleeding on you. I really appreciate you comforting me every time... you are so sweet. I remember that following day you took me over to your parents house. That was my first time there. He brought me to his parents house ASAP. I met Shonté’s family 3 years later and that’s because I came over during Christmas break and his parents decided no one should spend Christmas alone in another state. Yeah I was literally going to stay at his dads apt alone if his parents didn’t want me to come. Yikes. You obviously really did like me. Don’t worry I can’t wait until you meet my brother and my nephews. My nephews are my treasure, so you are very special!!! I remember the last day of March.. March 31st we went on our first date!! No ones ever gone all out for me like that... I was speechless. You took me to the fish market. You got a small bowl of clam chowder and I got fish and chips. We walked down king street and we went to go see Kai. You paid for our tickets to get on the ferry. I’ve never been on that one!! It was cold but there was a beautiful view. We got to NH and we passed by a spicy sauce store. We still have to go there!!!! Then we got on the Ferris wheel. I had so much fun with you. The first time I went on it I didn’t have much of a good time. So thank you for giving me a better memory!!💗

April: Jacob called me his girlfriend over text. I remember I completely ignored it. You pointed it out and I told you I wasn’t your girlfriend until you ask me. I’m glad I stood up for myself. I wanted you to know I am different. April 12 we woke up super early and took acid. We spent the whole trip in bed binge watching breaking bad. I love that. Later that night you casted a slideshow for me. That’s when you asked me out. I found it so cute and I loved the effort you made to ask me to be your girlfriend. I went and got tested this month. I was scared tbh. I wish I would have been smarter and asked Jacob some more serious questions before having sex without a condom. But when we had sex I was okay with it, i could have said no put one on but i really wanted to know what you actually felt like too. & I loved it. I could never go back. Well unless I find those vibrating condom thing. We gotta try. But anyways. I didn’t have peace of mind until my dr. called. I don’t mean to judge. But I’m glad all is good. School was going well! I was working on my website. I was nannying and teaching Jonah Spanish on thursdays. I was also making $ in the side with Sophie, and Guy& Coleman as well as the church! I was productive... you see.. not smoking weed.. I was sober. This is why I’m harder on myself. I could be doing more. Anyways. April was a good month.

May: In May I finished my spring semester!! I took 5 classes. All A’s and B’s. I worked SO hard. I remember I stayed up all night until 4am studying my history notes. Over and over and over. Took a 2 hour nap and went to school. Took my finals and had to hurry and pick up Jonah for tutoring. It was so nice to go out to eat for dinner that day. I was proud of myself. I finessed my communications professor to bring my grade from a B to an A. It took some convincing but he did it. He gave me those extra points. I went home for Mother’s Day. This was wonderful... 2019 I finished paying off to install my moms tombstone. And my brother and I went to see her for Mother’s Day. We got her a bouquet of red roses. Her favorite! It was nice even though my brother was a total dick to me on that 40 minute Uber ride. Zahria didn’t hang out with me this weekend and I was very upset about that. She was mad that I was going to see Michael. Michael and I still speak tbh. Mostly about drugs and life. I was always a real friend to him since freshman year. But now I understand where she was coming from. Jacob and I would FaceTime each other at night now & fall asleep. So cute. I went back home and it took sometime to be okay again. That toxic, negative energy back home is some serious shit. Summer semester started and I only took one class for 6 weeks!!

June:

Pride was so much fun. I wish I went the second day, but I had school and work on Monday. I didn’t want to be out late on a Sunday. But I really had a great time. Too bad I’m so awkward. This is the month Jenn was helping me speak up to Carol and Aaron about the contract. I was terrified. THAT WAS HARD FOR ME. That was so hard for me. But I did it. I spoke to them about it and I decided the best decision was to move out. It’s crazy bc at this time I found my love for champagne. I was drinking so much of it. Tbh that’s how I gained so much weight. Alcohol!!!!!! Anyways. I was sitting in Jacobs closet and he came to talk to me. We talked about what happened and you brought up if I wanted to move in with you. I said yes. So I gave my decision. They didn’t want to give me any money. I would get $200 a month for food if I worked more hours from the morning. As well as no summer tutoring so I would have to readjust my hours on the weekends and I wasn’t about it. So I cleaned up my room. They wanted me out ASAP. Marcus and Jacob helped me moved half my stuff. The other half Aaron helped. They weren’t in a good mood that days Carol gave me a hug though and told me she loves me. I closed another chapter. I was nervous and worried to move in with Jacob but it wasn’t too bad.

July: Jacob always tries his best to make me feel welcomed. He moved his desk over and gave it to me. He moved his shelf and fridge to make more space. You were okay with me taking the closet. You never once complained. You were okay that I had a lot of things. I was so worried about it all, but you always comfort me. I started working with Andrea. It was a blessing answered from God. I remember telling Jacob I wanted to take care of another 3 month old again.. and then Bradley came along. That baby brought me a ton of happiness whereas Jackson gave me headaches 🤣 I felt good. I was in school. I was making money. I was also babysitting Cora a lot. I made a little over $500 in 3 days. I saw Guy & Coleman. Jacob, Marcus and I went to Dave & busters. I had a lot of fun. I love that wizard of oz machine. I also came across this letter I wrote for myself back in 2016. I was suppose to wait until 2021, but I read it anyways. Wow I accomplished a couple things in there, but the way I saw my life planned was SO WRONG. hahah. I went and renewed my cpr license. The instructor was tough. I was afraid she wouldn’t pass me. I was doubting myself but I had studying. It was just a lot of pressure. I am so proud of myself for passing and I have a renewed certificate now. I ended the month saying goodbye to the Barhydt’s. They moved back to MA.

[captainalwayslazycollectort-blog]

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

"car insurance quotes lynchburg va

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

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car insurance quotes lynchburg va

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

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car insurance quotes lynchburg va

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

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What is some affordable/ good dental insurance?

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Why does car insurance cost more on a black car?

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I am doing project in car insurance.For that i want web services for car insurance. Please anyone list car insurance web service available

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i live in dallas tx ,19yrs old and im look for affordable dental insurance it will b just for me no one else any great insurance out there that wont make my bank account dusty :) plz help & thank u""

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So I bought a motorcycle from someone with late fees which i can pay off and was wondering if I need insurance to switch the title to me. I'm from California.

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The ticket will also go down to be a 2 point ticket when i pay it Im a 16 year old girl, i live in colorado, i have state farm car insurance...how many dollars will the insurance increase? my parents told me i have to pay the difference in car insurance now""

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Who offers the cheapest life insurance?

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I have insurance through my company, in which I pay half.. My deductible is $2500.00 till January then changes to $2000.00... Im already paying my Doctor $900.00 for a Pre-Delivery fee which will come out of my deductible. Then after that is met I will pay 20% of everthing else... Any advice will be great...""

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What is the cheapest car insurance? PLEEASSEE HELPPPP!!?

I have searched around, i'm 18 and male I know it's going to be expensive and it changes daily BUT if there is any companies at all that people know are relatively less expensive than others? would be great :)""

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Okay my son is now 1 year old. He is on my parents insurance, we live with them, and my parents pretty much support him.(pay for all expenses).. Now my sons father wants to put him on his taxes. I know he just wants to get money to get him a new car. he also says he will get me a car too. but idk about that. When i told him i think my parents already claimed him, he started yelling its his son, and told me to give him his security card(he has a really bad temper and gets angry to where i get scared) so i did.. but now i need to sign a paper..and i dont want too.. Here is my thing i told him that he is automatically on my parents taxes, because he is on there insurance, so that would mean i would have to take aiden off of their insurance(Which means he wouldnt be on any insurance)he started yelling how stupid i am and just to sign paper, my question is is it true that because my parents have him on their insurance, he is on their taxes. What should i do? Thanks for anyhelp. Sorry long question. Please no rude answers""

Teenager car insurance help?

Okay! I am a 17 year old male who has been driving in total for 2 years and I have unfortunately had 2 accidents. The first occurred in May of last year. I pulled out of a gas station trying to turn left so I had to cross two lanes of oncoming traffic ( I was in an unfamiliar vehicle) I could not see the lane closest to the middle and I went out further then I thought and the oncoming car took off the front bumper. The second accident occurred 04/14 I was driving to school and there was a man ahead of me who had his signal light on for the past 4 miles it was pouring down rain so I looked over to change lanes and when maybe I looked for to long I'm not sure but wheeI turned back the man had come to a complete stop in preparation to turn from a highway onto a dirt road. I slammed on my brakes they locked up I couldn't steer away and I hit him in the rear. My question is. Is this going to keep happening to me? Am I really that bad of a driver? and what insurance company is best for my situation as my parents are removing me from their policy. Any help would be appreciated!

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

How much will insurance go up? ?

How much will insurance go up if you are 18 and just got into an accident with a park car and only hurt there bumper?

What insurance provider has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

What insurance provider has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

How Much is Car insurance policy for an 02 PT Cruiser?

Ok So I am getting my liscense soon and i was wondering how much a policy is for an 02 PT i am also on honor roll and passing drivers ed and was wondering how much it would be for a driver 17 (me) and a driver over 25 with no claims

Anyone in California need a quote on Insurance?

I sell Insurance.

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About a year ago at this time, I was involved in a car accident where I was turning left onto a 2lane road (stop signs, MY turn) and this girl was turning right onto the same road. She tried to beat me and get in my lane. She ran into my car. Long story short, her fault, no questions asked, even says so on the police report. I filed a report and claim with my insurance co. to get $$ to fix my car. I got the $$ and fixed my car. Well, I was trying to chance insurance co. the other day when I found out that apparently this lady called my ins. company claiming to be my 'mom' admitting fault to the accident. I was 19 at the time, and this was at MY college. So now, it's gone on my record as my fault. Now, I just faxed the insurance co. the report, and they are going to investiage because this girl committed serious fraud. What's going to happen from here on out, legal wise and prosecution wise for her?""

How much people pay for car insurance?

hi im 19 and gt my license recently i was wonder how much people pay for car insurance, and what cars are cheap to insure thanks.""

Best cars fopr cheap car insurance!?

HI! im 17 and currently learning how to drive! i was going 2 be put down as a named driver on one of my parents cars when i had passed but the insurance cost is insanely expensive! so my parents r going 2 buy a new car with a lower insurance cost, but we have no idea which one would be cheap for me on the insurance?! if anyone knows of any cars which would be cheap for a new driver please help! thanks! .X""

What's a good car insurance but cheap car insurance?

or how about the cheapest one!!!lol I'm turning 18 so I'm aware that car insurance for people under 21 are really high, any suggestions? thank you!!!""

Car insurance queries?

A good friend of mine had an accident in another friends car. It was his fault but his insurance company have said his insurance does not cover him as the vehicle he was driving is classed as a car derived van. The insurance company state that the policy only covers third party cover for other motor cars and claim a car derived van is a commercial vehicle. Even though its not used as a commerical vehicle, The vehicle in question is a Peugeot partner 600 and its v5 doc claims calls it a car derived van and it falls in the PLG class. Is this right what the insurance company are saying ?""

What would be the best way for me to minimise my car insurance?

Ok, before I start, I DO know that its not going to be cheap but I want to figure out the best way to get insurance. (This is in the UK by the way) Well, I turned 17 a few days, got my provisional today, and am thinking, uh oh - look at these insurance quotes. Is it a good idea to get my name added onto my parent's insurance policy? They're with Tesco car insurance. Apparently this lowers costs but is it worth it, and is there anything better? Also, do your public exam marks make any difference? I got good grades in the summer, A* in every subject, so does this help? The car is a NISSAN PRIMERA S TD 2001 1974cc Five Door Hatchback Manual Diesel. So it's not really a new car, and its silver in colour. The mileage per annum definitely won't exceed 5000 miles. Any help is appreciated, thanks.""

Can i get insurance at 17 in my name?

Can i get insurance at 17 in my name?

Car insurance? 10 points?

I'm 46 (female) and just got my probationary license in northern NJ. Is it possible to get my own insurance. How much would you expect it to be since I have to wait a year to get my full license? 10 points

Do spoilers raise insurance price?

is it true that having a spoiler on a car will make insurance higher?

""I'm just wondering, is there anyone here who can't get health insurance?""

If you do have it, how do you get it? and if you don't have it, why not? Spiritually speaking, of course""

Does color of car affect insurance rates?

In the market for brand new car. Does color matter with insurance? I've heard red is most expensive.

Does anyone know what the average insurance rates are for OTR owner operators?

Just a rough estimate....I'm doing some research.

Car insurance?

about how much is car insurance for: -16 year old Male -from the suburbs of chicago -new car ('06)

How can I see a cheap doctor w/ no insurance?

I am 23 years old and I don't have insurance. My husband got a huge pay cut and we had to cancel it. We just can't afford it at the moment. However, I am having some serious issues and I really want to see a doctor badly. I am having horrible pains in my hands and the rest of my body and pitting edema in my legs. I don't want to rack up a huge emergency bill, but I can't afford $200 for a doctors visit. Is there ANYWHERE I can go to see a doctor for really cheap??? It's to the point where I can hardly use my hands to even type this and I am scared. Thanks..""

Which is best general insurance to take?

I can pay 2000rs/annam.I need Health & Mediclaim Policy. My Requirements -- Maximum coverage of insurance.Should cover all diseases including new diseases which will come in future(i have worried about swin flu a new arraival in 2009). My age is 27years.

I am selling my car and I have a suspended driver's license. What kind of insurance policy can I buy?

My driver's license will be under suspension until January 2014 and so I have decided to sell my car. What do I do about insurance? I dropped mine when I realized I would not be driving as a way to save money, but now that I want to sell the car I believe I need the insurance even just for someone to take a test drive. Are there short-term or reduced costs policies available in this situation? I would of course immediately not need the insurance once the car is sold, which could be very soon.""

How do you get car insurance if you don't own a car?

Need to know the type of insurance people get when they don't own a car.

What is the normal procedure for a car accident without insurance?

3 weeks ago I hit a womans car in Sydney with my friends 4WD. I did not have any insurance on my side and now the woman's insurance wants me to pay for the damage. They gave me a call saying the damage was AU$ 5760 but if I would pay AU$ 2900 in the next 4 weeks that would be it for me. Now Insurance companies are not known to be humanitarian organisations so why would they let me get away with less money? I also talked to an Australian friend today who said the woman's insurance would have to give me three quotes on how much the repair of the car would be before they start doing anythin. Being a traveller I feel like the Insurance company tries to take advantage of my minimum knowledge of Insurance issues. So could someone please explain me the usual procedure for something like this?

Whats the best way to cancel my car insurance?

Iv had my car insured fully come with Halifax since the 28th Dec and iv already paid around 450 on the policy but as they will not give me any sort of discount on to add my new car on the policy I want to cancel it but they want me to pay another 300 to cancel it, its only been insured for a month and I agreed to pay 1600 per year and they want nearly half of it, would it affect future insurance if I just cancelled it anyway?""

What is the difference between private and public insurance?

I'm doing a report on Japanese economy, and I read something about it having mostly public insurance? What does this mean, and what is that difference? What does having a public insurance do for Japan? Like how does it effect the country?""

How much would I pay for motorcycle insurance in Hawaii?

How much would it cost to insure a 500cc or less motorcycle in Hawaii for a full-time female college student with a 3.0 or better GPA who is 19 years of age and single and has one speeding ticket on her record? I would just like a ballpark range to work with so I can decide whether or not I want to buy a motorcycle for going to college and work while I'm here in Hawaii. I passed a motorcycle safety course and have my M1 license. I want to know if I could afford the insurance.

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

car insurance quotes lynchburg va

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/montgomery-alabama-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-36131-louie-galindo/"

[samanthasroberts]

Are smart cities just a utopian fantasy?

Tyler Edell Crunch Network Contributor

Tyler Edell is a technical marketing manager at Oppkey, a developer relations company in San Francisco. He holds degrees in writing and literature from Emerson College and San Francisco State University.

How to join the network

Songdo, South Korea began its life as tidal marshland. Now its leading the charge into the future of smart cities. Once home to small-scale fishing operations, Songdo comprises massive, LEED-certified buildings, an efficient garbage collection system and even an island for rabbits.

The project began in 2000, when 500 tons of sand were poured into the marshland, laying the foundation for architectural achievements like the Northeast Asian Trade Tower, a 68-story building that is now the tallest in South Korea.

While Songdo is nearing completion and the flashy, meticulously designed buildings certainly suggest an eye on the future, much of what makes Songdo impressive lies under the surface. For example, the entire city is connected by an underground network of pipes that serve to funnel garbage directly from residents apartments into the highly automated waste collection plant. The garbage is automatically sorted and then recycled, buried or burned for fuel. This might be Songdos most avant-garde integration, and only seven employees are needed to handle the entire citys garbage.

Songdo has the benefit of being a greenfield deployment, meaning that the citys infrastructure could be designed beforehand, based on the predicted needs of the architecture and residents, instead of being integrated reactively, as is the case with most smart city deployments. Integrating Songdos garbage collection system with cities like San Francisco or New York would take years of legislation and astronomical amounts of money.

Not all of Songdos future-focused initiatives are out of reach for established cities, though. Songdo has sensors everywhere to monitor temperature, energy use, traffic flow and the salt water canal that runs through the city. Sensor prices have dropped drastically over the past few years, allowing an unprecedented degree of connection even to established cities. Still, most cities have been reluctant to roll out full-fledged initiatives for smart city deployments. Theres great optimism surrounding the smart city discussion, but that optimism seems to wilt whenever someone asks Whos going to fund this?

The city certainly isnt going to, at least in the case of San Francisco. While SF does have an outrageous $9.6 billion budget for the 2016-2017 fiscal year, most of that will be funneled toward the mismanagement of the citys disastrous infrastructure. Its a fair question to ask why they cant dedicate a portion of that budget to smart city initiatives, but maybe they were relying on the $50 million Smart City Challenge award from the federal government, for which they were a contender. If they had won the award, private contributions would have been added to the federal award, bringing the total for the initiative to $200 million.

The social factors of smart cities might be the most difficult to measure.

The federal government has dedicated $80 million in new investments toward its smart city program, but that money will be spread out over 70+ cities, bringing the average to a whopping $1.1 million per city. That might sound like a lot of money (it is), but when you compare it to, for example, the average price of repaving one mile of a four-lane road ($1.25 million), it isnt exactly breathtaking. And even if you think the SF municipal government could do great things with more money, keep in mind that its the same government that allows somewhere between 6,000 and 10,000 people to sleep on the streets, while dedicating $224 million to keeping them off of them.

Current funding for smart city initiatives is only good enough for proof-of-concept trials, which would lead, at best, to a piecemeal approach to smart city construction. The reluctance is understandable Songdo cost roughly $35 billion to build from scratch but without genuine investment in changing the infrastructure of a city to fit smart city needs, widespread deployment will be riddled with integration and adoption issues. Maybe the biggest obstacle to its full deployment is one question: Are smart cities profitable?

There have been compelling waste-reduction efforts based on smart city sensor technology, like using sensors in the water supply to mitigate waste. While these efforts have resulted in corking budget leaks, they havent appeared to bleed over into other aspects of smart city deployments. Cities can use smart meters to make street parking easier, but that might actually work against them. If a driver finds a spot, they pay $2. If they get a ticket, they pay $72. Thats why some companies are offering cities analytics to optimize a police officers ability to hand out tickets its all about profit.

Another example: Lets say a city opens its streets to autonomous vehicle rideshares, and that those rideshares catch on. And that they catch on to the point that it eats into the Department of Transportations revenue, so they have to slash public transportation frequency to a point where its no longer viable to maintain a robust public transportation system. They end up having to subsidize rides for low-income commuters, as well as lay off a slew of public transportation workers. In this scenario, the government not only doesnt make a profit, but it has to deal with the headache of transitioning its transportation system and the social upheaval that comes with massive layoffs.

The social factors of smart cities might be the most difficult to measure or engage with, which is probably why we havent heard very much about them. Smart cities seem abstracted from the cities themselves, as evidenced by the unwanted consequences of LinkNYCs free Wi-Fi program. If you arent familiar with LinkNYC, the goal is to replace payphones around NYC with free Wi-Fi kiosks. These kiosks come equipped with tablet-like touchscreens that allow anyone to browse the web. At least they used to.

A few weeks after the program went live, LinkNYC had to disable web browsing on all of its public tablets, for obvious reasons. If it doesnt seem obvious to you, let me list some of the ingredients in this debacle: homeless people, substance abuse, free video streaming and a public space. One of my favorite headlines about this misuse of the project is, Wi-Fi kiosks have become living rooms for vagrants, which was in the NY Post. My favorite excerpt, though, is from the Chicago Tribune: Its free. Thats the best part about it, said a tall man drinking a beer out of a paper bag as he watched an R. Kelly video at a terminal in Manhattans Chelsea neighborhood.

That pretty much says it all. The unintended social consequences of smart city projects are a real concern, and a technological imbalance is at the heart of it. Smart cities are clearly not intended for the homeless, but homeless people are a reality of cities you cant just ignore them. Smart cities seem to be taking hold most effectively in areas where theres significantly less income inequality and crime. For example, the United States ranks 63rd on a list of nations by largest income inequalities, while South Korea, where Songdo is located, ranks 129th. The United States intentional homicide rate is also more than five times greater than South Koreas.

Every smart city deployment affects different groups of people in different ways. While some drivers might appreciate the traffic flow optimization that comes with cameras on traffic lights, others will bemoan the surveillance state. A major question to grapple with is how to assuage (usually reasonable) fears while improving efficiency and standard of living. When the Songdo project broke ground, plenty of fishermen lost their way of life, but instead of giving them a bus ticket and wishing them good luck, the South Korean government handed them urban farm plots as a way to keep them going. This is the level of understanding and foresight thats needed for successful deployments.

A common complaint about greenfield smart city deployments is that theyre antiseptic they lack character. When cities are designed and deployed as a single unit, they dont carry the cultural vibrancy of a city built organically in response to the needs and desires of its denizens.

As someone who moved to San Francisco because of its cultural fabric, the piecemeal approach to integrating smart city technology is more appealing than the built-from-scratch approach, even though its less efficient and more expensive. Its the only way to preserve the character of the city. We just have to hope the people who compose the city arent forgotten.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/are-smart-cities-just-a-utopian-fantasy/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/04/22/are-smart-cities-just-a-utopian-fantasy/

[allofbeercom]

Are smart cities just a utopian fantasy?

Tyler Edell Crunch Network Contributor

Tyler Edell is a technical marketing manager at Oppkey, a developer relations company in San Francisco. He holds degrees in writing and literature from Emerson College and San Francisco State University.

How to join the network

Songdo, South Korea began its life as tidal marshland. Now its leading the charge into the future of smart cities. Once home to small-scale fishing operations, Songdo comprises massive, LEED-certified buildings, an efficient garbage collection system and even an island for rabbits.

The project began in 2000, when 500 tons of sand were poured into the marshland, laying the foundation for architectural achievements like the Northeast Asian Trade Tower, a 68-story building that is now the tallest in South Korea.

While Songdo is nearing completion and the flashy, meticulously designed buildings certainly suggest an eye on the future, much of what makes Songdo impressive lies under the surface. For example, the entire city is connected by an underground network of pipes that serve to funnel garbage directly from residents apartments into the highly automated waste collection plant. The garbage is automatically sorted and then recycled, buried or burned for fuel. This might be Songdos most avant-garde integration, and only seven employees are needed to handle the entire citys garbage.

Songdo has the benefit of being a greenfield deployment, meaning that the citys infrastructure could be designed beforehand, based on the predicted needs of the architecture and residents, instead of being integrated reactively, as is the case with most smart city deployments. Integrating Songdos garbage collection system with cities like San Francisco or New York would take years of legislation and astronomical amounts of money.

Not all of Songdos future-focused initiatives are out of reach for established cities, though. Songdo has sensors everywhere to monitor temperature, energy use, traffic flow and the salt water canal that runs through the city. Sensor prices have dropped drastically over the past few years, allowing an unprecedented degree of connection even to established cities. Still, most cities have been reluctant to roll out full-fledged initiatives for smart city deployments. Theres great optimism surrounding the smart city discussion, but that optimism seems to wilt whenever someone asks Whos going to fund this?

The city certainly isnt going to, at least in the case of San Francisco. While SF does have an outrageous $9.6 billion budget for the 2016-2017 fiscal year, most of that will be funneled toward the mismanagement of the citys disastrous infrastructure. Its a fair question to ask why they cant dedicate a portion of that budget to smart city initiatives, but maybe they were relying on the $50 million Smart City Challenge award from the federal government, for which they were a contender. If they had won the award, private contributions would have been added to the federal award, bringing the total for the initiative to $200 million.

The social factors of smart cities might be the most difficult to measure.

The federal government has dedicated $80 million in new investments toward its smart city program, but that money will be spread out over 70+ cities, bringing the average to a whopping $1.1 million per city. That might sound like a lot of money (it is), but when you compare it to, for example, the average price of repaving one mile of a four-lane road ($1.25 million), it isnt exactly breathtaking. And even if you think the SF municipal government could do great things with more money, keep in mind that its the same government that allows somewhere between 6,000 and 10,000 people to sleep on the streets, while dedicating $224 million to keeping them off of them.

Current funding for smart city initiatives is only good enough for proof-of-concept trials, which would lead, at best, to a piecemeal approach to smart city construction. The reluctance is understandable Songdo cost roughly $35 billion to build from scratch but without genuine investment in changing the infrastructure of a city to fit smart city needs, widespread deployment will be riddled with integration and adoption issues. Maybe the biggest obstacle to its full deployment is one question: Are smart cities profitable?

There have been compelling waste-reduction efforts based on smart city sensor technology, like using sensors in the water supply to mitigate waste. While these efforts have resulted in corking budget leaks, they havent appeared to bleed over into other aspects of smart city deployments. Cities can use smart meters to make street parking easier, but that might actually work against them. If a driver finds a spot, they pay $2. If they get a ticket, they pay $72. Thats why some companies are offering cities analytics to optimize a police officers ability to hand out tickets its all about profit.

Another example: Lets say a city opens its streets to autonomous vehicle rideshares, and that those rideshares catch on. And that they catch on to the point that it eats into the Department of Transportations revenue, so they have to slash public transportation frequency to a point where its no longer viable to maintain a robust public transportation system. They end up having to subsidize rides for low-income commuters, as well as lay off a slew of public transportation workers. In this scenario, the government not only doesnt make a profit, but it has to deal with the headache of transitioning its transportation system and the social upheaval that comes with massive layoffs.

The social factors of smart cities might be the most difficult to measure or engage with, which is probably why we havent heard very much about them. Smart cities seem abstracted from the cities themselves, as evidenced by the unwanted consequences of LinkNYCs free Wi-Fi program. If you arent familiar with LinkNYC, the goal is to replace payphones around NYC with free Wi-Fi kiosks. These kiosks come equipped with tablet-like touchscreens that allow anyone to browse the web. At least they used to.

A few weeks after the program went live, LinkNYC had to disable web browsing on all of its public tablets, for obvious reasons. If it doesnt seem obvious to you, let me list some of the ingredients in this debacle: homeless people, substance abuse, free video streaming and a public space. One of my favorite headlines about this misuse of the project is, Wi-Fi kiosks have become living rooms for vagrants, which was in the NY Post. My favorite excerpt, though, is from the Chicago Tribune: Its free. Thats the best part about it, said a tall man drinking a beer out of a paper bag as he watched an R. Kelly video at a terminal in Manhattans Chelsea neighborhood.

That pretty much says it all. The unintended social consequences of smart city projects are a real concern, and a technological imbalance is at the heart of it. Smart cities are clearly not intended for the homeless, but homeless people are a reality of cities you cant just ignore them. Smart cities seem to be taking hold most effectively in areas where theres significantly less income inequality and crime. For example, the United States ranks 63rd on a list of nations by largest income inequalities, while South Korea, where Songdo is located, ranks 129th. The United States intentional homicide rate is also more than five times greater than South Koreas.

Every smart city deployment affects different groups of people in different ways. While some drivers might appreciate the traffic flow optimization that comes with cameras on traffic lights, others will bemoan the surveillance state. A major question to grapple with is how to assuage (usually reasonable) fears while improving efficiency and standard of living. When the Songdo project broke ground, plenty of fishermen lost their way of life, but instead of giving them a bus ticket and wishing them good luck, the South Korean government handed them urban farm plots as a way to keep them going. This is the level of understanding and foresight thats needed for successful deployments.

A common complaint about greenfield smart city deployments is that theyre antiseptic they lack character. When cities are designed and deployed as a single unit, they dont carry the cultural vibrancy of a city built organically in response to the needs and desires of its denizens.

As someone who moved to San Francisco because of its cultural fabric, the piecemeal approach to integrating smart city technology is more appealing than the built-from-scratch approach, even though its less efficient and more expensive. Its the only way to preserve the character of the city. We just have to hope the people who compose the city arent forgotten.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-smart-cities-just-a-utopian-fantasy/

[kiwiquii]

You are 15. You have just started grade 11 at school. You have a good group of friends, 20 or so people that you genuinely enjoy being around. You have a boyfriend and the relationship is going well.

Its march, near the end of the first term. You notice some people in the group are not really getting along, and for some reason, 15 of the people get up and walk out of the group. They refuse to rejoin the two.

The 5 left includes you and your boyfriends friends.

A couple of weeks later, one of your friends tries to go to the group of 15 to talk to his girlfriend. He gets literally shoved out.

You send a private message to the 'leader' of the group asking her why she split the two. She tells you x was flirting with her ex and she didnt like that.

She tells you that you are a nosy bitch for questioning her. Half an hour later, you get 5 other people sending you messages

"You are a piece of shit"

"You dont deserve to have friends"

"I have hated you for years"

To this day you agree with all of these.

Its June. Your boyfriend hits rock bottom, runs away from home and drops out of school. You tell him to go back to school at least, he is a very intelligent person.

He tells you you are being a bitch for refusing to support him.

You then realise that everything that had happened in the relationship wasnt normal. He liked to physically abuse you. He often said something like "if you refuse to kiss me right now i will kill myself". He often got upset if you wanted to talk to your friends one day.

So you break up with him. You tell him that you have realised these things arent right. He tells you that you dont deserve to be loved and you have no hope of getting a lasting relationship. You agree.

It gets to September. At this point you start to question whether its worth going on. Something happens, and before you realise what you have done, you have gouged out part of your wrist.

You realise there is something really wrong with you, so the next day you go to the school councellor. She tells your parents and you start on therapy. You think it is a waste of time.

You can't last a month without making a new scar on yourself. It gets to november and the group merges back together. You cant join them, even seeing the people who attacked you sends you into panic.

You catch the bus home from school every day. And every day, you have a panic attack because the noise and claustrophobia is too much. Music is the only thing that can help it.

Your grades are failing. You used to be a good student, not the best but rarely getting less than a B. Now you are failing every subject.

You start grade 12. At this point you have 3 people you can count on. One is a girl you met online that you talk to every day, but she lives in america. Another is a girl you have been best friends with since grade 8. The last is a guy who for some reason still puts up with you.

Your best friend is popular. She still talks to everyone in the old group and she has ofher friends. You see her once every second day for the shorter break.

The guy is busy too. You dont see him that much.

For a while, you had a group of friends on an online forum. After a few months they realised you werent worth anything and you get banned. This happens with another forum as well.

Your mother is a very social person. You go to parties every other week with your parents. You try to tell them how uncomfortable they make you, but they refuse to listen.

One of the last things you enjoy is fishing. Sometimes, the parties your parents hold are at the beach, so you try to get as far away from the party as possible to escape in the waves. Each time, you consider just swimming out to keep going until you drown. Each time, you stop yourself because you forgot to say goodbye.

It gets to grade 12, you are 4 weeks in. Since the group joined back together, you have been sitting in an out of bounds area where no one can find you. Teachers tell you that you are lucky to not get suspended. You tell them you couldnt care less

It is the first time you ride your bike to school. It happens to be the class with an air con first so you are relieved. At 9:05 the school gets a bomb scare. You are made to sit on the field. You are messaging your dad and listening to music because you are terrified. A teacher tries to take your phone. You tell them to piss off. They make you sit in the sun away from the rest of the students. You keep messaging your dad. The teachers tell you if you dont hand over your phone they will suspend you. You tell them go ahead. At one point a teacher grabs you to try and get it.

Your parents find out about everything that happened, and they take it to the principal threatening to charge for assault. They are told that if they followed through, you would be an outcast to all teachers. Because what is the word of one mentally ill girl against professionals?

A few days later, the guy you were friends with approaches you. He tells you that he wants nothing to do with you until you fix your depression. You walk out of the school, start walking home, and suddenly get an uncontrollable urge to jump infront of a truck.

You force yourself to the ground, and message your american friend. They tell you that you are being an idiot and they would punch you if they were there.

You call your parents, who come immediately to pick you up from the side of the road. You talk to the suicide hotline about everything that has happened. You go to the hospital and repeat yourself to 3 more seporate people. You are pronounced minor risk and sent home

You dont go back to that school. You dont get accepted into a new school until 3 months later. In your time off, you start running and riding every day. You find a dog park with some nice people.

Your mental health is getting better. You go into your new school and complete all of term 1 and term 2 in the single term. You fail most of your first exams. Your teacher for your strongest subject tells you there is no way you can be an A student. Your OP prediction comes back as 17.

But you keep going. You go to the city every day to do your school work. Your grades get better. You feel better about yourself. By the end of the year, you are a straight A student. You get 2 awards. You get your OP back as 9. You get accepted into university early.

But you have to pay tuition upfront, so you defer 12 months. You start looking for a job. You print off 300 resumes. Over the next few months you use all of them. You walk in to every shop in a 11km radius of your house. You get a job at Subway.

This is your first time working, so you are slow. Your manager makes sure you know this. Every shift he tells you how much of an idiot you are. You give full availability and you are lucky to get more than 10 hours a week.

So you start looking for a job again. You get something for permanent part time, 25 hours per week. So you leave subway, and of course your boss literally begs you to stay.

After 2 weeks in your second job, which has standards higher than anywhere else you have been, you get fired for being too slow.

So you look for jobs again. You get one in a seafood place. It makes you always stink but the work is decent. Easter happens, it is so busy you get a panic attack and have to take a half when you would usually only take 15.

After easter, your boss tells you he doesnt need you anymore, and you are lucky to get one shift per week.

So you look again. An employer tells you to do a cert iii in food processing so you do. You never hear back from the employer.

You get a job at a pie shop. It is very close to home. You get 3 shifts a week, 3 hours each.

So you look again. You get a job in a cafe so you leave the pie shop.

The cafe job is good. You get 20+ hours a week and its reasonable work.

After a couple of months, you realise there is a new law coming in which makes uni fees 3x as much, so you get enrolled right away. There is a maths subject you want to get into but you have to take an entrance exam for it, which doesnt come up until nearly too late. You constantly make phone calls to the uni and they tell you that you probably arent good enough anyway. You end up acing the test.

You pay your tuition out of pocket and buy a 2300$ laptop. You are proud to get this far.

You start uni and it isnt what you expected. You love your maths and physics but your 2 engineering classes are a waste of time. You start worrying that you wasted your money.

You are either working or at uni 7 days a week most weeks. You start to feel overworked and tired.

You join a server for lgbt people, having questioned yours for a while. After a month you have a friend, a 32 year old guy who also loves fishing and your type of music. He makes you a moderator in the 5000 people server, and the owner just says "whatever you are cool". You end up contributing more than 80% of the other mods.

Your 18th birthday comes around. You go out on a boat fishing with your parents and a couple of friends, but they force you to invite their friends as well. The boat is overcrowded, cold, and the fishing is bad.

There is a girl in the server you really like, so you ask her out. She is thousands of miles away but you were sure you could make it work.

But your mental state has been declining again, and it is everything you can do to keep on top of it. You put off going back to therapy because you dont have time.

Your university studies have been getting more stressful as well, you have massive assignments to do in very little time. You are a perfectionist, and when you get a mark back of 74% you are gutted.

But you keep going. It gets closer to when your final assignments are due when your girlfriend says she is depressed because of something and has to be away for a while. You are worried for her and hate that you cant help.

Your other friend from the server hates her. Ever since you asked her out he would tell you that you are too pretty to be with her. While she is away you are talking to him and he tells you he wants to ban her. You tell him no and you go to warn her.

She has hated him the whole time too. But she gets really upset at what he said. You get into a fight about it and she breaks up with you.

She does it nicely, but you tell yourself its because you are not good enough for her. Your friend finds out and immediately starts hitting on you, so you tell him he is an asshole.

You see her seemingly fine the next day but you havent felt worse since you left your old school. You had stopped yourself from self harming for nearly 2 years, but you have now done it 3 times in 2 weeks.

Your mother calls you a bitch. Your boss tells you to harden up. You are back where you started, a loser with no friends and a bottomless pit of assignments.

Maybe it will get better when you finish university. But you cant keep going on like this for another 4 years.

At this point, you get social anxiety bad enough it stops you getting any new friends. You havent trusted a person in years. You probably never will again.

But all through it you keep going. You try to get over all of it. But it is a lot.

[adambstingus]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/165810005762

[jimdsmith34]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/09/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve.html

[samanthasroberts]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/

[allofbeercom]

6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long

I’m writing this post from my bed.

I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.

I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.

I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.

Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.

There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.

Tonight, its the latter.

But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.

Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.

I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.

Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).

I like commitment.

Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.

Should I text him first? Will he text me?

Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?

Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.

What should I wear?

Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.

I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.

Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.

Im learning how to be patient.

I’m learning what I like and what I dont.

Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.

Im trying new things.

I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.

Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.

But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.

Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.

But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.

Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.

However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.

Ive boiled them down to six main categories:

1. The Ex

When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.

Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.

So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?

Its comfortable. Its fun.

Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.

When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.

Thats always a validating feeling.

In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.

2. The Non-Committal Charmer

Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.

He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.

Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.

He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.

His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.

His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.

You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.

Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.

He wont.

So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.

3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings

Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?

Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.

Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.

They make it so easy to let your guard down.

Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.

Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.

No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.

Or both.Whatever.

These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.

There are plenty of them out there.

4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College

In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.

This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.

He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.

He cant grow up.

He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).

He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.

He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.

Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.

While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.

So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.

AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”

5. The One Youre Just Not That Into

These, for me, are the most common.

Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.

If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?

But sometimes, you really want to like someone.

He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.

You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.

Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.

He’s proud of you. He cares about you.

Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).

But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.

While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.

It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.

So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.

It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.

When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.

You both end up hurt and bummed.

6.The One

Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.

It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).

It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.

It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.

No way, not me.

Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.

Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.

Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.

Well be at the same bar for happy hour.

Something will happen.

When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.

You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.

Everything will slip into place.

Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”

So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.

Be fearless, but not careless.

Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.

Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.

Discover hobbies that fill your time.

But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/