#so. a couple years ago i got back in contact with my sixth grade writing teacher

[the-lincyclopedia]

Sometimes getting back in touch with people you admire but have lost contact with falls in the category of "this is why you shouldn't meet your heroes," and other times it's more along the lines of "I remembered loving you but I'd forgotten how MUCH."

[wizardimagines]

study help, draco x reader

pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count: 2.4k summary: harry offers you some help studying. you didn’t expect the rumours to spread so quickly, especially not to your boyfriend. a/n: this is heavily inspired by a tiktok i saw, so credit to whoever made that tiktok !! writing this one really broke my heart, so u guys better enjoy it ! also if there’s any errors, my bad. please request something, thank u for reading !                                        -----------------------------------

Your sixth year at Hogwarts was getting tough. You had a lot of classes you needed to pass, and it wasn’t exactly easy. So when you needed help with your classes,it was obvious that you would ask your dear friend Hermione for some help. Hermoine was known for doing amazing in school and she always helped you out when you needed it. ‘’Hermione!’’ You called out as you spotted the brown haired girl walking down the halls. She quickly turned around and a small smile spread across her lips as she spotted you. ‘’Y/N!’’ She smiled as she started walking towards you. She pulled you into a tight hug before smiling. ‘’How are you doing?’’ She asked you while taking a steadier grip of the books she was holding in her arms. You let out a small sigh before speaking. ‘’I’m doing alright I suppose,’’ You answered with a small smile on your lips. ‘’School’s getting tough.’’ She nodded as a response as she studied the books you were holding in your hands. ‘’Astronomy?’’ She asked before looking up at you again. You nodded and looked down at the book you were holding. ‘’It’s really taking a toll on me.’’ 

Hermione always passed every class with the highest grade. She was the main reason why you even managed to pass any of your classes last year, and she was most likely to be the reason why you passed every class this year as well. ‘’I understand, it really isn’t easy, is it?’’ Hermione said, shaking her head. You shook your head as well, a small smile starting to spread on your lips. ‘’But that's why I have you, am I right?’’ You smirked at her, making the brown haired girl in front of you giggle. ‘’And speaking of you saving me from failing all my classes, are you free tonight? I could really use some help.’’ You asked, giving her the puppy eyes. She laughed before lightly hitting you in the arm. ‘’You know I can’t say no when you make that face!’’ She exclaimed. ‘’But sadly, I have to decline your offer today Y/N.’’ She added. ‘’C’mon Hermione! How come?’’ You begged. ‘’I myself also have to study, I also go to school in case you forgot,’’ She joked. You let out a deep sigh before nodding. ‘’Yeah, I understand.’’ 

As you were about to say goodbye and leave to go study on your own, the brown haired girl stopped you. ‘’But I do know someone who probably could help you study.’’ Hermione said, turning around so she was facing the other direction. You raised one of your eyebrows in confusion as you looked over her shoulder, trying to see who she was looking for. Hermione's eyes scanned the halls, a focused look plastered on her face. Suddenly, her whole face lit up. ‘’Harry!’’ She yelled, making the brown haired boy further down the hall turn around.

You and Harry didn’t have a problem with each other. Not at all actually, you two got along quite well. The only problem was your boyfriend. It wasn’t a secret that Draco and Harry absolutely despised each other. Harry smiled at you two before he started to make his way towards you. ‘’Hi Hermione,’’ He said as he approached you. His eyes moved from Hermione over to you. ‘’Hi Y/N.’’ He said, still with a smile on his face. You gave him half a smile as you gave him a small wave. You knew Draco would be fuming if he saw what was going on right now. ‘’Well, Harry,’’ Hermione said, turning to you. ‘’Miss Y/L/N here could really use some help studying astronomy.’’ She gave you a satisfied smile. Your eyes widened as the words left her mouth. You could tell that the words surprised Harry just as much as they had surprised you as he opened his mouth to say something, but not a word left his lips. Hermione's smile quickly faded as her eyes switched between you and Harry. ‘’Oh c’mon now! Don’t be silly,’’ She exclaimed, rolling her eyes. ‘’If this is because of Malfoy,’’ She complained as she crossed her arms.

You could feel as the atmosphere changed. You looked down at your shoes and Harry let out an awkward cough. ‘’This is so silly. What’s wrong with just helping her Harry? It’s not like Draco is gonna be there, is it?’’ Hermione asked, clearly annoyed. Before the boy had any time to answer her question, she spoke again. ‘’And I thought you really needed the help, Y/N?’’ She asked you. You looked up from your shoes, your eyes meeting hers. You looked over at Harry, who was also looking at you. You let out a sigh before your eyes met Hermiones once again. ‘’I suppose you’re right.’’’ You answered. Hermoine gave you a satisfied smirk as she nodded. ‘’I told you so. Just because Harry and your silly boyfriend has some problems with each other doesn’t mean he can control who you get to hang around.’’

Hermione wasn’t wrong. Draco couldn’t tell you who you could hang out and who you couldn’t hang out with. But you still tried to not engage too much with the golden trio purely because you knew how it would make Draco feel. ‘’So you wanna meet me in the Gryffindor's common room tonight?’’ Harry asked, his eyes set on you. Your eyes met his as you nodded. ‘’Sure,’’ You replied. A small smile formed on his lips as he nodded. ‘’I’ll see you then, Y/N.’’ He smiled. ‘’Thank you Harry, I do really appreciate it.’’ You smiled back. He nodded before giving you one last smile, turning around and started walking away. ‘’How terrible could it be?’’ Hermione asked as your eyes met. You looked her dead in the eyes before opening your mouth to speak. ‘’If Draco breaks up with me, it’s all on you.’’ You joked, making her chuckle. ‘’You know I wouldn’t complain.’’

The night went by quickly. You went to the Gryffindor common room after dinner, meeting Harry there. And Hermione wasn’t excatly wrong. You and Harry got along better than you remember. Ever since you got with Draco a couple months ago, you hadn’t been around Harry too much. You kind of forgot what he was like. ‘’So you’re telling me you wanted to play quidditch?’’ Harry questioned you, looking surprised. You laughed before speaking. ‘’Oh, shut up Potter! Personally, I think I would do just great.’’ You said proudly. ‘’Whatever you say Y/N,’’ He chuckled before looking down at the book that was laying on the table in front of him. The Gryffindor common room was surprisingly empty tonight, it had only been you and Harry in there all night. You looked up at the big clock that was hanging on the wall in front of you. ‘’Oh my merlin, it’s already late!’’ You exclaimed, a feeling of panic washing over you. ‘’I was supposed to be back in my dorm an hour ago,’’ You continued as you gathered all your books. Harry helped you gather the books and followed you to the door. 

‘’Thank you for tonight Harry, I really appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.’’ You said as you were on your way out. ‘’Of course, I had a really great time.’’ He smiled at you. ‘’Me too, despite the circumstances.’’ You laughed as you looked down at your shoes. ‘’You know, I really hope we can be friends even if you’re with Malfoy.’’ He said softly, making you sigh. ‘’Wish me good luck telling him I was even studying with you today.’’ You laughed quietly. ‘’You’ll probably need it.’’ He smirked, earning himself a light punch to the arm from you.

The following morning was a disaster. You got to your dorm really late the night before, which led to you not sleeping as much as you would like to; causing you to almost sleep through your alarm. You were rushing through the crowded halls, trying your best not to bump into anyone while getting to your class. Something felt extremely off today. It was almost like everyone was staring at you, like you could hear them whispering about you. You just brushed it off, not thinking about it. Until you ran into someone. ‘’So the rumours are true?’’ A familiar voice said, making you look up from your shoes. In front of you stood Draco, a very upset Draco.

He wasn’t upset as in crying, he looked rather angry. The smile that had formed on your lips as you spotted the blond boy in front of you quickly faded and was replaced by confusion. ‘’What rumours?’’ You asked, feeling baffled. He snorted as he looked up, breaking eye contact. ‘’I’m not stupid Y/N,’’ He muttered angrily. ‘’Draco, I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.’’ You said, defending yourself. ‘’So what is it everyone is talking about then? You leaving the Gryffindor common room late last night with Harry Potter right behind you?’’ He spat at you, his blue eyes meeting yours again. Your heart dropped. You were hoping you got to tell Draco before anyone else did, but it looked like it was already too late.’’Draco, please let me explain,’’ you said, slightly panicking. He let out a chuckle in disapproval. ‘’So it is true?’’ he asked, staring at you. ‘’No, or yes, I was there!’’ You exclaimed. ‘’But I wasn’t there for the reason you think,’’ You continued. At this point your heart was beating faster than ever. You had no idea what to do or how to feel at this point. ‘’I should’ve seen it coming.’’ Draco muttered before pushing you out of his way, making his way down the hall with determined steps. 

You stumbled back as your eyes followed the blond boy. You quickly followed him, trying your best to make your way through the crowds. You kept your eyes on Draco, trying your best not to lose him in the sea of people but it was getting harder, as he walked faster and faster. At this point you didn’t care if you pushed some people out of your way on accident, all you cared about was getting to your boyfriend. Suddenly he made a turn, walking into the rest rooms. You ran after him, not even caring if it was the boy’s rest room. You watched as he made his way towards one of the sinks, placing both his hands on it as he approached it; looking himself in the mirror. ‘’Draco,’’ You let out, out of breath from running down the halls. He looked at you standing behind him in the mirror. ‘’Leave.’’ He said aggressively. You shook your head. ‘’Please let me explain.’’ You begged, making him turn around. ‘’Y/N,’’ He let out bitterly. ‘’I said leave.’’ He repeated himself. ‘’I’m not leaving until you let me explain myself.’’ You exclaimed. ‘’I already know everything I need to know,’’

‘’You cheated on me with Potter. Potter out of all people, after everything I’ve done for you?’’ Draco shouted, making you jump. You had never heard Draco yell like that before, not at you. ‘’For Merlin's sake Draco, I didn’t cheat on you!’’ You uttered. You felt the tears burning behind your eyelids, trying your best not to let them fall. But that’s when you noticed his glossy eyes. You had been with Draco for a couple of months now, but you had never seen him cry; in fact, no one had ever seen him cry. Not even his closest friends. ‘’I really trusted you.’’ He murmured, a tear falling onto his pale cheek. You could psychically feel your heart break right there and then. You slowly walked up to him as he turned around once again, his fingers tapping the sink in front of him anxiously. ‘’You need to leave, now.’’ He said in a low voice as you got closer to him. You didn’t answer him, instead you just kept walking towards him until you reached him. You slowly wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your head on his back. ‘’He was just helping me study for astronomy,’’ You whispered, feeling his shaky breath. ‘’Hermione was busy so he offered some help. You know how hard I’ve been working on passing astronomy this year,’’ You continued, your thumb stroking the fabrics of his robe. 

The boy stayed quiet. You could hear him holding back sobs as he continued to take shaky breaths, still tapping the sink. ‘’Why him out of all people?’’ He whispered. ‘’Because he’s my friend Draco,’’ You whispered back, still hugging him tightly. ‘’You can’t keep me from being friends with people.’’ Before you could continue speaking, the blond turned around, making you loosen the grip you had of him. Your eyes met. His face was covered in tears, his eyes red from all the crying. You truly had never seen him like this and it absolutely broke your heart. He quickly pulled you into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around your waist as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You wrapped your arms around his neck, planting small kisses along his neck. You could feel him sob into your robe, but you didn’t mind. You stroke his soft hair as you tried your best to comfort him. ‘’I really thought you cheated on me Y/N.’’ He sobbed, his voice being muffled. ‘’I would never cheat on you Draco.’’ You whispered, a tear dropping onto your cheek. ‘’Why didn’t you just ask me for help?’’ He asked after a while, slowly pulling away, placing his forehead on yours. ‘’Because I know how much you already have to get done, I didn’t want to bother you with my problems,’’ You said, placing one hand on his wet cheek; wiping the tears away. ‘’I always have time for you,’’ He mumbled, avoiding eye contact. You gave him a small smile. ‘’I love you,’’ You mumbled back, making him look back up at you. ‘’I’m really sorry for not telling you before everyone else had the chance to, I just didn’t think it was such a big deal, but I see now that it is.’’ You continued, stroking his hair. ‘’Next time I see Potter, he’s dead.’’ He muttered, making you giggle. ‘’That’s the Draco I know.’’ You smiled before he pressed his lips against yours, making you smile even bigger. No one could ever compare to this boy.

[rockcampfifteen]

How I Got to Sesame Street: Bill Sherman Talks Working with Lin-Manuel Miranda, Where He Keeps His Grammys, and Being Ignored by Big Bird

I didn’t think that Rock and Roll Camp XV was even going to happen this year, if I’m being honest, but nothing about this year has been predictable, so here we are. A dozen campers and about as many counselors in a Zoom meeting. We made it work, and it worked well. Since camp wasn’t a physical, in-the-moment experience, there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for photos or camper interviews, but we did get the chance to interview Bill Sherman, an Emmy, Tony, and Grammy award winning musician. Bill has worked on musicals like Hamilton and In the Heights and is a music director for Sesame Street. He was laid-back, down-to-earth, and didn’t give any impression that he was full of himself. Bill didn’t act like most award-winning musicians and talked openly about his life and experiences. He mentioned that he had been stuck in traffic, and that he was worried he’d be late for our interview. We knew that he was taking us seriously, that he didn’t just see us as a bunch of kids wanting to have a talk. 

-Elsa

Elsa: I just want to say we appreciate you taking the time to talk to us. We’ve got a lot of questions, so we’ll jump right in. What was the first instrument you learned to play, and what attracted you to it?

My parents got me piano lessons when I was in elementary school, and I was super not into it. I believe the teacher’s name was Mrs. Record—which is hilarious for a music teacher’s name—and she taught me for a couple years, and I was terrible at it, so I quit. And then in fourth grade we had to pick an instrument, and the music teacher where I went to school was a woodwind player. He was like, “Bill you should play the clarinet.” I was like, “Okay, sounds great.” And then in sixth grade—this is a good story—he goes, “You know, the clarinet has the same mechanics and fingerings of saxophones,” and I was like, “No way, that sounds like a way cooler instrument than the freaking clarinet.” If any of you are clarinet players, I don’t mean to offend you. Also, I still play the clarinet. Anyway, he showed me the saxophone and I was immediately attracted to it. And when he left the room, I took the saxophone and left with it and I didn’t tell him. So I stole it. I took it home. And it became my thing. I was obsessed with it. My teacher’s name was Gary Meyer. He later went on to be my private saxophone teacher for like a hundred years, until I went to college, and now, he in fact works for me. He plays in the Sesame Street Band. He’s a woodwind player. So it was a pay-it-forward, full circle moment, to have my fourth grade music teacher be in my band.

I got really into jazz. I went to a real big jock high school, and I stopped playing sports and just played saxophone, all day every day, all the time. And in college it became my identity. Mike can attest—I was the saxophone guy. I led bands, and I played all the time… if you see movies about colleges, and there’s a music guy? I was kind of that guy. 

I later taught myself to play piano—another full circle moment—because composing on the saxophone for anybody is a difficult thing to do. I have a number of guitars that I have no idea how to play.

Elsa, by the way, has your name become like the coolest ever since the whole Frozen situation? My kids would think that’s the coolest thing ever.

Elsa: Frozen came out when I was in about second grade, and of course I was so hyped for it. I went to a theater with a friend of mine, and afterwards I was like, “Oh, I was the Ice Queen, oh yeah!!” And of course you go back to elementary school, and everyone’s like, “Oh, you have ice powers,” and so pretty soon I was tired of that. But it’s kind of gone away. It went away for a few years, and people stopped associating it with my name. And then Frozen 2 came out and here we are again—

(Bill Laughs.)

Michael: I have a question for you, Bill.

Okay, Mike. Does everybody know that Mike used to be this amazing trumpet player, and he was in my band, and he wrote for the band, and he packed this unbelievable punch, and he was like this tall, and he was this awesome powerhouse, and truth be told... I don’t know if he knows this, but in certain theory classes I would cheat off him, because he had a way better ear than I did.

Michael: I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I do think it’s hilarious that I was better at theory than you. But so anyway, in the band, you were the only one really bringing in your own songs—so I’m wondering where the urge and the confidence to start writing your own material came from?

In high school I wrote poems, and then my senior year of high school, I wrote this instrumental thing and I played it at my graduation. All the people who thought I was a nerd for being into music, they stood up and clapped and I thought that was so freaking cool. That was my first move into composing. And in college it was just kind of what we did. It just seemed like how hard can it be? You start breaking down pop tunes… at that time, we were kind of doing jam band, Ozomatli tunes, four chords and the truth. And you find that pop music in general is four chords and the truth. Like the Foo Fighters: they play four chords really quietly, and then the same four chords way louder, that’s just what they do, and it’s awesome, and it works every time. 

The other thing about writing music is that it’s very hard to know if you’re quote unquote “good at it.” I’ve written thousands of songs, and I’d say 75% of them are terrible. But 25% of them people really dig into, and then you wonder, Why this song? Like for Sesame Street, I get very immediate feedback. My friends who have kids, they’ll immediately let me know, This is the song. I wrote this song for Maren Morris on Sesame Street called “Oops, Whoops, Wait, Aha” which is about children calming down, waiting to answer a question, not just like going crazy, and people will send me photos or videos of their kids dancing along to this particular tune, which is great. But that’s the first time in four years that anybody’s contacted me, and in those four years I’ve written hundred of songs that nobody cares about. And so, if you get a good one every four years, that’s great. Songwriting is like anything, you’ve gotta  try it, and then you try it some more. 

The other best way to do things that are creative and original is to at first emulate people. That’s what we were doing—Mike and I in our band in college. I liked Salif Keita, and I liked Fela Kuti, and I was like, I can write a song like this. We wrote songs that sounded, almost exactly like Fela Kuti tunes. It’s not really original, it definitely sounds like something you’ve heard before, but that’s how you learn how to do it. Study the craft, how other people did it.

Marilla: On Sesame Street, how do you write thousands of songs and not make them all sound the same?

That’s a really good question. I have in fact repeated myself a number of times. I was working on another show a couple years ago, and I wrote this song, and it was great, and they loved it, and then a year and a half later I sent them another song, and they got back to me and were like, “Hey, sorry to say this, but I’m pretty sure this is this,” and they sent me back the song I’d written previously, and it was almost the same exact song, and it was so freaking embarrassing. But I’ve talked with Max Martin about this, and what he does is collaborate. Invite people in. Not to steal their knowledge, but he constantly has new people coming into his fold, because I think you’re right, after a while you just start repeating yourself. 

The fun thing about Sesame Street is that it can be any genre. Nothing is genre specific. I can write a hip hop tune one day. And a bossanova the next day. And a ballad another day... One of my favorite things about Sesame Street is that we’re able to bring on new people to keep it interesting and fresh. I’ve been employing more women lately, because there was a time when my writing staff was really male-heavy. Also, Abby is a girl, Rosita is a girl, we need to have that voice. Lately my job at Sesame Street has become more of being like a procurer of music, as opposed to physically writing it—more of like a producer role. People send me stuff all the time. Feel free to get my email from Mike if you have songs you want me to listen to... I will listen to anything.

Lyla: Do you have any advice for younger people—or people in general—when it comes to writing and creating music?

My advice would be to not give up. Not everyone is going to like your stuff. There’s just no way. It’s not gonna happen. It’s a lot of work to be a songwriter, because you’ll write 100 songs, and 98 of them will be terrible, and two of them will be great. 

My first couple years in college, I got asked to be in like 100 bands, and I said yes to everyone. Because initially, you have to say yes to everything. You have to play in a crappy cover band. And you have to play in a cool band like we were in, and you have to play in a funk band, because everybody plays in a funk band in college, and then you get to a point where you turn a corner, and then you can start saying no. I didn’t start saying no until five years ago. 

Lyla: Another question I have is that you mentioned you used to play in a lot of bands in college, and earlier you mentioned playing at your senior year graduation—did you ever think you would come this far, working with Lin-Manuel Miranda, and writing big musical pieces? Did you ever expect to earn awards or anything?

Well, no. I don’t think you ever expect awards. Success is a whole other thing—you can’t prepare yourself for things like that, it just sort of happens. In the process of saying yes to everything, I got myself into positions that I never would have expected. But when we were in college, all I wanted was to be a saxophone player, and move to New York, and make no money, and just sort of grind it out, and then I met Lin my sophomore year of college. I music directed his musical. And I had never music directed a musical, I had no idea what that meant, but I said yes. And I went on to direct all of his musicals in college, and then we graduated college, and we were roommates forever, and then it was like, “Hey, people want to make In the Heights into something,” and I was like, “Okay, that seems like the most logical thing to be doing,” so  we made In the Heights…

I got involved in musicals just randomly, because I said yes to something. I’d never liked musicals. I’d seen Rent, with the original cast, but I’d never listened to Sondheim, or Andrew Lloyd Webber…

But the success thing, it all happened very quickly. Between the ages of 22 and 26. In those four years, it was like marriage, children, awards. I wasn’t expecting any of that stuff.

People come over to my house and pose with my awards, which makes me really uncomfortable, and then one person drank out of the Grammy once... that happened. I have a platinum record in my bathroom. I didn’t know where else to put it. 

Elsa: Have you ever thought about writing your own musical?

It’s weird to go from writing minute and a half long songs that are like a single verse and a chorus, to writing these ten minute long opuses that have to have all this narrative in them, and do all this stuff—it’s definitely a different side of my brain. With & Juliet, it was taking Max Martin’s music and turning it into a musical. Deconstructing all these pop hits like “Oops I Did It Again.”

Marilla: How did it feel to see Hamilton on Disney Plus all these years after you worked on it?

It was far out. It was like seeing an old friend. It’s filmed really well, and you’re seeing views of things you’ve never seen before, it sounds fantastic… it just brought back a lot of old memories. Chris Jackson has been my best friend for like a hundred years, and so has Lin, and seeing them on stage, it was a reminder of how good they are… Now, years later, my children have memorized the record, they’re singing the whole thing, which is unbelievably irritating. My daughter—she thinks she knows the whole thing, but she really doesn’t, she just makes up her own lines during the really fast parts, which is really funny, and makes me laugh. I watched it the day it came out. It was a nice excuse to reach out to friends and tell them how good it is, how good they are.. And at a time when theaters are closed, it was cool to see people excited about seeing theater..

Lizzy: What’s your favorite thing to work on, out of all these different projects?

When we were in college, I thought being in a band was the coolest thing ever, and I wanted to play live music for my whole life, and I didn’t want to do anything else. And now I do other things, and all I want to do is play in a band in front of people! Once a year Sesame Street has a gala that some very famous person will come and play at. Last year it was John Legend, two years ago it was Michael Buble, and so there was this big band, and I played in it, and I had so much fun. I kind of miss performing. I play in this thing called Freestyle Love Supreme, which is this documentary that was on Hulu, we make up rap songs--and that’s fun, but I play keyboards, sort of behind the scenes, and so I sort of miss having a band, like we did in college. I’m getting all these memories, Mike, about WestCo Cafe.

These days my favorite thing is collaborating with new folks. We just finished the In the Heights movie, which comes out next year, Sesame Street goes into production in a couple weeks… I’ve been incredibly lucky and honored to do what I do, so talking about it always makes me feel sort of strange, because to me it’s just what I do, but to you it’s like, there’s no way that’s a real job, and explaining it sounds ridiculous, and I’m glad you wanted to listen to me talk about myself for half an hour.

Peter: What’s it like working with Big Bird?

Every day that I walk on to the Sesame Street set, I kind of have to pinch myself a little bit. The guy who played Big Bird passed away a couple years ago. He’s also the guy who played Oscar the Grouch, and he didn’t really know me for a couple years, and then I went to an award show, and I won an award, and he’s actually the guy who presented it to me, and so he hands me the award, and he goes, “Oh my God, I never knew what you did.” And so imagine Big Bird saying to you, “I never knew what you did.” And that was terrifying. Every time I hear Big Bird’s voice, or Kermit’s voice, or Grover --- it freaks me out, because I was a big Grover fan when I was a kid. Those are the times when you’re like, Whoa, this is surreal.  

[scientia-rex]

Overly long life update

Today I helped take out a big hunk of jejunem. Je... jejenum??? oh god I haven’t had to spell this in a while. Hang on. Jejunem! I was right. Thank god. Anyway, sometimes this rotation feels a lot like med school, in that I don’t have to write a lot of notes (I’m rounding on a couple of patients per day but the attendings do NOT give a shit), and I’m in all the surgeries I want to be instead of stuck doing floor work like the interns in my program last year (or like surgical interns). 

Unopposed programs are great. I mean, there’s something to be said for the camaraderie you can develop with residents in other programs who are also suffering greatly, but being family med means that in a hospital with other residency programs you’re always fighting someone for experience.

The jejunem had a big, super nasty abscess with a lot of mint-green purulence that was definitely toothpaste-y in texture. It started out more like traditional pus (white, gooey) but something bad had clearly happened to it. Mesenteric abscess. Still not sure why she looked like she was dying--maybe it subtly perforated somewhere--but anyway, it was a cool case and I got to be with my favorite attending, who I would marry if she and I weren’t both already married. I also don’t know if I could make her be into me! But I’ve always liked a challenge. Most boring part of being married: no longer the opportunities to try to make someone want to sleep with me.

I’m on call, and it sucks but the fun thing is this is Surgery call and I’m not first call. Sure, if there’s a consult or a surgery I’ll probably get called in, but I’m not getting bugged about everybody’s fucking bowel regimen! That goes right to the attending! This program/rotation is topsy-turvy from EVERYWHERE ELSE in that respect. When I’m on Medicine call it’s me, and I hate it, and I hate it with a fiery all-consuming passion that makes me seriously reconsider my commitment to rural medicine, but Surgery call is comparatively much less hellish unless there are stacked overnight surgeries, which has been known to happen (but not, so far, to me).

Not looking forward to rounding tomorrow morning and operating real early on the gallbladder case my weekend call attending didn’t want to operate on until the pancreatitis got a little bit better. I’m getting so tired of gallbladders. I’ve seen so many of them and STILL only, like, three appendices, total.

Anyway!!!! I’m on an unceasing rollercoaster where I can never decide whether I’m grateful and happy or suicidally rage-filled. I love a lot of things out here. I also realized earlier that one of the receptionist people in the surgery clinic building is a girl who was my “best friend” (ish) in 9th grade until I stole her boyfriend (he was, of course, AWFUL) who I drifted apart from after high school until we “reconnected” on Facebook (where she made disparaging comments about my butt in one picture I posted) and then she said something super pissy and weird and I unfriended her. She had like a whole conspiracy theory about how I’d ruined her life. I was like, look, I stole ONE boyfriend, ONCE, and told some people a weird thing you said about sex, that is NOT a conspiracy. And that boyfriend was so terrible I technically did you a favor. Very #MeToo memories from that guy. “Didn’t meet the legal definition of rape!” is not the same thing as “positive, healthy relationship.”

So moving home is a MIXED BAG. Very mixed bag. I was not an uncontroversial figure at the sixth to twelfth grade level and I’m frankly alarmed that I agreed to a teaching event for students up at the high school because there’s a decent chance I’ll run into a) the teacher I asked out after I graduated, and THAT would be very awkward since I then ghosted him and have since come to see him not shooting me down as yet more manifestation of the gross entitlement of men, or b) someone else I don’t even remember I have weird awkward shit with until I see them. Like the Physics teacher I made cry by eating my notebook while maintaining eye contact with him.

I’m a lot, guys. I’m like a lot a lot. Always have been and I assume I always will be. Me with a scalpel is honestly the chillest manifestation of me yet. I have generated fewer enemies since settling down, but only because I value my partner’s feelings enough to not sleep with anyone else and therefore have stopped stealing other people’s significant others/romantic opportunities/complicated friendships. (I had a roommate once give me holy hell for sleeping with her bisexual friend when SHE wasn’t bisexual and wasn’t going to sleep with the friend but was VERY invested in being the only women her bisexual friend was in love with! I was like FUCK YOU SHE’S CUTE AND SHE CLIMBED INTO MY BED! and slammed out the door and went to buy a loaf of bread. And on the way ran into the guy on whom I wasted two years of my life because he was B E E F Y and had long curly hair, which is A Theme for me.)

(.......I stole WAY more than my fair share of people back when I was single and free to ho around. But really, if your significant other is that easy to steal, you should know that before you invest heavily in them. I never went after anyone who was married or who had a kid. That was a bright line.)

(Anyway, it’s not like it’s not my FAULT moving home is complicated, but WOW is it ever. My husband’s ex-girlfriend is coming back to town and there’s an article about her in the paper and while I suspect he’s over that, since it was fifteen years ago, part of my brain is still jealous!!!! Absurd! Yet true!)

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @simplyn2deep!

Happy holidays to simplyn2deep! I tried to write something that hopefully checks your boxes - fluffy kidfic human AU incoming - and I really hope you'll enjoy it. Thanks for reading!

Read on AO3

*****

Curly Fries & Solo Cups

There was a time in Derek Hale's life where he didn't have any friends.

He had Laura, who gave up her afternoons to run with him in the woods behind their house, climbing big trees together and tripping over cool and soon-to-be collected sticks. He had Cora, who was still too young to go to school and was always excited when his day was done, eager to smash toys and throw rocks at wasps nests with her brother. He had Talia, because he still wasn't too old to be too cool to hang with his mom, and he had his cousins, his aunts, his uncles.

But he didn't have any friends. His family was big and sprawling and he loved them, but it sucked, being the only kid in first grade who had to spend recess alone. It was his own fault, to some degree; he read ahead of his grade and didn't like lacrosse, so while all the other kids ran around with sticks and nets and screamed really loud on the field, Derek would read books that nobody could relate to and played basketball against himself in the gym. Talia would always tell him to take the first step. To introduce himself, to show an interest. To do more than just hide away and cast fleeting glances at Scott and Paige and Jackson and the rest, wishing he was a part of what they had.

But he never did.

Second grade passed, then third, and Derek started to sneak food into the library so he wouldn't have to find a table in the cafeteria. There was a new kid this year, Stiles, who was gangly and loud and annoyed the shit out of him - a word he was told by his mom not to use when he stated this fact over dinner, but was encouraged even harder to keep saying it by Peter - and Derek immediately took to being jealous of him. The new kid slipped into Scott's social circle like he'd been there all along. Sometimes, Derek would watch the two of them screw around during class, feeling his stomach tighten as they laughed and never listened and got yelled at by their teacher.

He liked him. Derek had gotten used to not having any friends, over these past couple of years. He'd been fine with it. That feeling changed, suddenly.

Fourth grade came, and with it, Derek grew a little more distant from his family. Cora had started growing into herself, and it turns out that she's a bit of a handful, which is great, because she takes after their mom, but horrible, because she's going through a phase where she likes to bite. Laura had started dating, which was frankly disgusting, and the less he heard about that, the better - and Peter, who he'd started spending most of his afternoons with, had begun to side with Talia on this whole not being a nerdy, terrible loner anymore thing that she's constantly on his case about. Always telling him to make friends his own age. Always being annoying about it. God.

Stiles kept being funny. Stiles kept making friends. More and more of them. Derek wanted to be his friend, too.

Weeks of deliberation passed, but eventually, Derek watched Stiles try to laugh until milk came out of his nose to see if it worked in real life the way it did in cartoons, and after he nearly choked to death and Scott cried from how hard he was laughing, Derek felt a sweeping sense of courage in his stomach. It was time to do something about all of this.

He asked Coach if they could maybe set up a basketball team for the students his age - just something small, just for people who were interested in playing together, they didn't have to compete with any other schools or anything, don't worry - and, despite the unwieldy and unnecessary insult directed at Greenberg that seemed to come out of nowhere, Coach agreed. More than that, Coach made him captain.

It was less of a real team and more just something to do after school on days when the lacrosse field was being used by the older kids, but that was enough. Those few nights Derek spent waiting for Coach to announce sign ups to his class felt like hell. He was missing out on sleep, too busy staring at the ceiling above his bed until the early hours of the morning, worrying about everything and putting too much stock into this. He'd have imaginary conversations with himself. He would talk to Scott and Stiles and Kira about how to play ball, bragging about the dope shots he never really took. He'd act cocky and kind of obnoxious, but in his head, that was charming. He'd use basketball as a crutch to finally be looked at as more than just that quiet, unfriendly kid who barely spoke two words to people. He'd make friends.

And he did. But not with Scott, and not with Stiles.

Fourth grade passed, and then fifth, and then sixth. Junior high turned out to be pretty great for Derek, who made friends with his teammates and grew into his own. Basketball turned out to be so well received that it became a bit of a rival to the lacrosse team, snowballing into something real with actual games and actual competition. The kids who liked sport in Beacon Hills were becoming actual athletes, who took their sport of choice seriously and built their fledgling identities around it.

Scott and Stiles didn't sign up, but Derek still made friends with the kids who did. That should have been enough. It wasn't, but it should have been.

By seventh grade, Derek's made a name for himself. He's smart and he's funny and he's sociable, and even though he still never really talks to people he doesn't know, he's been to birthday parties and he's actually flirted with a couple of girls, which was exhilarating, if scary. He's happy. Took a while, but he's happy. He eats in the cafeteria, these days. He's starting to think that he's kind of weird for doing it, but he still just - likes watching Stiles, and Stiles is always at his best in the cafeteria.

On Friday, Scott and Stiles are racing to see who can eat the most curly fries the fastest. They're in their lacrosse uniforms even though it's starting to rain, and they'll probably be forced to share the gym with the basketball team if they want to get any practice in this afternoon. Scott's an idiot who filled up on pizza before he challenged Stiles to the race, but that just makes him all the more determined to win. Derek watches the race, still as hooked on the way Stiles laughs now as he was when he was little. Back when he was just shy and lonely and wanted a friend, instead of - whatever this is, now that he's older. Now that he shouldn't feel jealous anymore, seeing as he has a life of his own.

The race is neck and neck, but ultimately, Stiles wins. He crams his face full of deep fried garbage and chokes it all down with the propensity of a starving pelican. Scott contests the win, arguing that he ate more, but Derek knows that's a lie. His feet start moving before he can stop them.

"Stiles won."

Scott and Stiles look up, alarmed, a fry slipping from Stiles' still open mouth and onto his unreasonably messy tray. They both look at him like they know full well who he is - the quiet guy, the basketball guy - and they cast quick glances at each other, communicating silently the way best friends do.

Derek feels heat prickle his skin, but he doesn't blush. He doesn't think he does, at least. He just stares at the two of them until they look at him again, jaw set and teeth rigid. He must look angry, or something, because Stiles' eyes keep drifting back to Scott like he's in trouble, or something, and Scott looks seconds away from having an asthma attack. Shit.

"Stiles won," Derek repeats with determination, as if aggressively siding with the kid he's been staring at in silence for half a decade without so much as saying hi to him is a normal thing to do. If he was trying to kickstart the conversation, it doesn't work. Other tables are talking and going about their day and nobody's noticed what's going on, but the cafeteria feels awfully quiet, suddenly.

Stiles looks at Derek. Derek looks at Stiles. They haven't ever made eye contact, before. Derek feels his lungs go tight, so he looks back to Scott.

"Uh, thanks, dude," Scott offers to the silence. Stiles cracks a grin, watery and awkward. Derek keeps staring until he feels like he's a brick wall stopping the two of them from having fun with their... fries, and he ultimately nods, turning on his heel and bailing.

He doesn't talk to Stiles for the rest of the year.

Eighth grade is when things start getting messy. Jackson and Lydia start dating and they both want everybody to know about it. Lydia's parties are killer, but Derek never goes to them, which pisses her off a little, because he's turning into the kind of athlete that everybody thinks is gonna get a scholarship, make state and earn millions. Scott and Stiles never go, either. Derek only knows that by chance, having given up on staring at the two of them from across the room all the time. Stiles started staring back, after all. It's hard not to be embarrassed, once you've been caught.

Derek's in the equipment closet, putting everything away after gym class, when he hears Stiles and Scott through the door.

"Dude, why don't you just ask him?"

That's Scott. Derek holds his breath, his grip tightening on the dodgeball in his hands. He'd accidentally hit Scott pretty hard with this, about twenty minutes ago. He still feels guilty. Coach had laughed pretty hard, at least.

"Oh, yeah. Wow. Genius plan." That's Stiles. Derek's stomach does a flip like he's driving down a steep road. "Hey, big arms. Remember me? I know we've never really talked, except for that one time where I was desperately cramming curly fries down my throat like I was the squirrel from Ice Age and it was the only way to keep them safe for the winter, but. Just curious - are you going to Lydia's party this weekend?"

There are footsteps, and Derek panics, looking at the door and waiting for it to open. It doesn't; there's just a soft, gentle thud as Stiles leans his back against it, sighing under his breath.

"Well... maybe don't start with that, but." There's another small thud when Scott rests against the door, too, right next to Stiles. Derek can see their shadows under the door. "I mean, if that's how you wanna go about this, he lives right by the woods? He probably likes squirrels."

"Super helpful."

Scott laughs, but it's not malicious. It's soft and endeared. Derek can't see it, but Scott nudges Stiles' shoulder with his own, rattling the door a little.

"C'mon, man," Scott says. "Just ask him if he wants to go with you."

Stiles makes a noise that's entirely non-verbal, just this long, frustrated grunt. He's about to say something else when Finstock tells them to stop lazing around and they push themselves off the closet door, heading out. Derek stands still, gripping the dodgeball as tight as he can, waiting until the squeak of their sneakers over wood go quiet before he moves again.

His heart is beating so hard he's surprised they couldn't hear it.

By Friday, Stiles and Scott haven't had any more conversations about Derek within his earshot, but Derek's started watching the two of them again. From the way he falls asleep at his desk with his head hidden behind his history book, Stiles doesn't look like he's too worried about anything, which is kind of annoying to Derek, who has spent the entire week stressing the hell out about why Stiles wants to invite him to Lydia's party. Assuming he's "big arms", that is. There's every possibility that Stiles has made an embarrassment of himself eating horrible, greasy food in front of more than one person he never really talks to. Derek would not be surprised.

But he thinks it's a safe bet to assume that Stiles wants to go to the party with him. Or - wants him to be at the party, in any case. So why hasn't he just... asked?

Stiles gets yelled at in history class and wakes up with a sheet of paper stuck to his face. Math goes horribly, with Derek breaking the lead in his mechanical pencil over and over again from pressing it too hard against his notebook. Stiles sleeps in art class, again. Gym rolls around and Derek camps out by the equipment shed, but Scott and Stiles just go straight to their lockers.

Derek's in a bad mood when he slings his bag over his shoulder and makes a beeline for the bus. Lydia catches him in the hall at the last second.

"Derek Hale," she starts, thoughtful and singsong. She's standing in front of him so she can't leave, Jackson's arm slung around her shoulders like he'd rather be anywhere but here. Jackson's turned into a bit of a jerk this year, but Derek doesn't care enough about him to be offended.

She tells him he simply has to come to her party this weekend, saying something about how being shy and mysterious worked for him when they were younger, but they're seconds away from entering highschool, so it's time to start taking the bull by the horns and getting out there. She asks him if he needs her to set him up with one of her friends, and the sharp furrow of his eyebrows and widening of his eyes is enough for her to take that as a no, and she tells him that all of his friends will be there.

He takes this to mean the basketball team and shrugs, pushing past her and Jackson to head out, until she adds, lilting and happy -

"Stiles and Scott were hoping to see you there."

- and he decides that a party might not be so bad.

Laura helps him pick out his clothes. He didn't want to ask her, at first, but he panicked, and she could tell, and even though he's sick of hearing about the guy she's dating, he still relies on her more than anyone. Peter helps, too, once Derek's dressed. He makes Derek take off the tie and leave the jacket at home, because he says it's a party for children, not a business luncheon between CEOs. Derek's about to say something, but then Peter roughs his hand through Derek's hair to give it some life, and Derek's slapping him away and heading out the door.

The party is... a party. Derek's been to a few, but again, never any like Lydia's. For a team filled with guys that actually have a shot at making it if they keep training their skills into adulthood, the basketball team is still kind of nerdy. Most birthdays go by with a gaggle of thirteen and fourteen year old boys playing lasertag while wishing they were old enough to be playing paintball.

Lydia's party is about as sophisticated as a middle schooler's party can be. There's soda served in red solo cups, there's giggles and whispers about games like spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven that everyone's too weirded out by to actually play, and when Lydia's mom tells them she'll be in the guest house if they need her instead of hovering around and offering people snacks, it feels like they're being given their first real taste of freedom. Life is good for the eighth graders at Beacon Hills.

Derek's nervously rubbing his biceps when he heads inside, looking for someone he knows. He finds Lydia, whose squeal of joy hurts his ears the second it pierces them. She hugs him and starts talking way too fast about way too much, and when she offers him a tour of her house, dragging a sympathetic Allison along with them, he feels like he's being paraded around like some weird guest of honor.

He's shown the garden, the kitchen and the living room before Allison mercifully distracts Lydia by complimenting her dress, and as Allison winks at him and smiles, Derek silently gestures his thanks to her and slips away. He heads out to the pool, already in need of fresh air, and he finds Scott and Stiles sitting on the edge of it, dangling their feet in the water.

Scott sees Derek first and perks up like a puppy, slapping Stiles's arm and telling him to look, pointing at Derek in that way where he either doesn't realize he's being obvious or is too excited to care that he is. Derek feels butterflies in his stomach and immediately heads inside, walking back into the kitchen with his head down and shoulderchecking Greenberg as he goes.

He doesn't know what's wrong with him.

Derek has always been drawn to Stiles. He's funny, he's smart. Everybody loves him. For all the progress Derek has made since he was a little kid, he's still shy and awkward, deep down. Basketball is great, his friends are great, even the suffocating and unnecessary attention he's getting at this stupid party is great, but his formative years were still spent hiding out in the library because he was too afraid of just going up to somebody and saying hello. Without all the bells and whistles, that's all he is. A loner. A loner who has to try really hard not to be one. Abnormal, maybe.

Looking at Stiles makes Derek feel like a little kid again. Like he's afraid of saying hello. That stupid, pointless, small little moment in the cafeteria last year - that inconsequential, irrelevant moment based on Stiles' powerful curly fries-eating skills not getting the recognition it deserved - that moment where they actually, for the first time, talked? It came from nowhere, and it filled him with adrenaline, and he's thought back to it again and again and again every time he's toyed with the idea of just going up to Stiles and saying hello. The excitement he felt, from having Stiles look at him. The eye contact they made. It felt better than anything. He wants that again.

He just wants Stiles to be his friend.

So he takes a breath. He thinks of the work he's put into being sociable, being strong, and he looks back to the pool, and he starts to walk. He swerves away from the door leading outside at the last second, deciding he needs a drink to get through this, and that even though soda isn't booze, it's the closest he's gonna get until he's older and it'll do in a freaking pinch. He throws back a full cup of coke and pours a second, then gets back on track, mouth already dry as he steps outside onto the wet ground.

Beside the pool, Stiles is talking to Greenberg.

Derek watches the two of them for a second, faltering, feeling the wind leave his sails now that his big moment has been interrupted by that dick. Derek suddenly understands Coach's resentment for Greenberg. He bites the inside of his cheek, patiently waiting for them to be done so he can talk to Stiles, really talk to him, like he's been wanting to for years. It's then a thought strikes him - what if Greenberg is big arms? As far as he knows, this is Greenberg's first Lydia Martin party, too, and he's on the lacrosse team with Stiles; if anyone had the opportunity to see Stiles do something stupid and embarrassing, it'd be someone like him.

Derek feels his stomach drop. He stares at Stiles, and Stiles catches his eye, and Derek suddenly feels like coming here was a mistake. He turns around, he walks through the house, and he leaves.

Lydia's voice catches him as he heads out the front door, an inquisitive "Derek?" followed up by an "oh my god, can you stop" from Jackson. Derek ignores them both, walking fast with his drink in his hand, something which ruins the otherwise dramatic atmosphere that typically pairs so well with a guy bailing from a party due to a cliched romantic misunderstanding. He walks, and he walks, and he realizes he's going to have to go back inside and ask Lydia's mom to call Laura for him seeing as he doesn't own his own phone, and that's when Stiles catches up to him.

Derek turns, and Stiles is right behind him, panting hard with his hands on his knees. Way too hard, given how short that run was. He's making these horrible noises with his throat, like his chest has collapsed in on itself and he's having trouble breathing, or something, but when Derek looks at him with concern, Stiles just holds up his hand and tells him to wait.

Taking a sip from his drink, Derek waits. Stiles keeps panting. Derek offers him his drink. Stiles shakes his head, bent over with his hands on his knees. Derek keeps waiting.

"Where are you going?" Stiles finally asks, each word punctuated with a hard wheeze.

"Uh."

Stiles says oh my god, bending even further down, his fingers gripping his jeans as tight as they can. Derek takes another sip of his drink.

"How are you this out of breath? I literally just walked to the end of her driveway."

"Shut up," Stiles wheezes.

"You're on the lacrosse team," Derek says, actually laughing. "How are you this out of shape?"

"Oh my god," Stiles says again.

"It's like you've never used your legs before."

"Can you-- shut up?" Stiles says, pounding his fist against his knee as if it'll make him catch his breath faster. Derek takes another drink and waits.

It takes a bit of time for Stiles to stand up straight, but he does, soon enough, and Derek doesn't say anything. He just arches his eyebrows and presses his lips together like he's trying not to smile, which makes Stiles sarcastically pull a face, almost annoyed. Derek smiles a little wider at that.

"Hey," Derek says, clutching his solo cup close to his chest. He's still not good at forcing himself to smile when he doesn't want to, so he's relieved one is coming to him genuinely.

"Yoooooooo," Stiles says, with the look of horror that could only belong to a boy who has never said yo in his life and doesn't know why he's starting now.

"Ran pretty fast there," Derek says.

"Yyyyeaaaahhhhh."

Derek takes another sip of his drink, but there's none left in his cup. He doesn't want to look like an idiot who takes a sip from an empty cup, though, so he pretends that there's still some soda left, holding the cup up to his lips until a sufficient amount of time has passed. Stiles saw that the cup was empty before he did this, but he doesn't say anything about it.

"Where are you going?" Stiles asks again.

"I was just, uh." Derek drops his arms to his sides, then feels like he's not doing enough with his hands, so he crosses his arms over his chest, instead. It's hard to do while he's holding the solo cup, so there's a bit of a shuffle that looks about as awkward as it feels.

"I was just gonna go home," Derek says, lamely.

"Why?" Stiles asks, a little red.

"I... just... was. Why do you want to know?"

"I don't? I mean." Stiles pales, now, awfully quickly. "Everyone wants to know. Everybody. Scott. Lydia. Not Jackson. Jackson's kind of a dick. Boyd wanted to know, though. Isaac, too. You're friends with them, right?"

"Right," Derek says, staring.

"Right," Stiles says, staring back. The conversation ends.

Stiles dusts his hands off on his shirt, his palms sweaty and his face evening out to its normal pasty complexion. Derek nods like he's listening to a relative spout political diatribes he doesn't agree with, but is too polite to say so. They look at each other until the silence feels like an enemy, and they both need to do something to kill it.

"Do you want to -"

"How long have you -"

"Oh, sorry."

"It's - no, it's..."

This isn't really how Derek thought their first real conversation would go. He throws his head back, looking up at the sky, the moon glowing overhead. He watches the clouds listlessly drift on whatever current is taking control of them, and again, he feels a vice in his stomach and a fear he wants to conquer. Swallowing, Derek looks back at Stiles, who is staring at him with a softness in his eyes, like he was captivated by the way Derek looked in the moonlight. Derek's too amped up to say what he wants to say to notice.

"Look," Derek says, pulling himself together. "Listen," he says, immediately losing his nerve.

Stiles waits. This annoys Derek, who both wants to speak his mind and desperately wants the earth to swallow him whole. He takes a breath.

"I really like you," Derek says, finally, running his fingers through his hair. "I've liked you since - well, not since I first saw you, because I felt like you were stealing my friends. Which is insane, because Scott wasn't ever actually my friend, because we never even talked, but. But I've liked you since... okay, actually, I don't even know if I like you? I just watch you a lot. Which - I know that that sounds sinister, but it's not, not really. I just think about you, and I look at you, and I used to get jealous and annoyed with how easygoing and friendly you are, but now I... okay, I still get jealous and annoyed, but it's..."

Wow, Derek did not prepare for this at all. He opens and closes his mouth, staring at Stiles, and if he were a better man, he'd be able to recover from this and say something charming. Instead, he just stares, and Stiles stares back, and it feels like all they ever do is stare at each other. Derek regrets this. Derek hates this.

"Like..."

Stiles said that. Derek thinks he did, at least. Derek's not really sure what's happening right now.

"Like - like like me? Or..."

Derek keeps staring, and then he realizes what Stiles just asked, and he holds his hands up in horrified surrender.

"What."

"What?"

"What."

"Don't what me," Stiles says, combative. "You're going full romcom on me. This is, like, Notting Hill if everybody in Notting Hill had each suffered from some pretty major headwounds. Multiple major headwounds. Successively."

"What--"

"I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her, said Anna, like a stupid idiot with no friends."

"Excuse me?" Derek stands a little taller, and Stiles waves his hand through the air like he's annoyed with Derek for getting defensive.

"I'm just saying," Stiles rushes, tripping over himself. "I don't know what I'm just saying. But - I - okay."

He drops back down, hands on his knees, taking another few breaths. Derek's starting to get annoyed again. He's not even sure why he's still here, honestly.

"I like you too," Stiles says, standing up straight and trying to put some real punch into the words. "I like like you."

Derek stares. Stiles stares back! Derek's sick of Stiles staring at him like that! His heart's in his throat and his stomach is twisting over itself and he feels like he might pass out, and no matter how many times he opens and closes his mouth, he can't seem to make the right words. Part of him wants to push Stiles in the mud, and he thinks that's because he like likes him, but he can't really make heads or tails of this to know what he's thinking.

He's happy. He's just terrified, and awkward, and Stiles has never even spoken to him before. Well - except for that one time.

"Wait," Derek says. "Wait. We've only spoken once, and it was when I told Scott that you--"

"When you defended my honor, yeah. Curly fries. Very valiant." Stiles takes Derek's cup like he needs a drink, then remembers that it's empty, and he looks at Derek in such a way that Derek realizes Stiles absolutely knew the cup was empty when he pretended to drink from it.

"But that just started it," Stiles says, a little shy. "You were this weird, big, strong dude who just came out of nowhere and knew my name. You were funny and weird and awkward and I started noticing you. The way you play basketball, the way your eyebrows pinch when you read. It's... I don't know."

Stiles shrugs his shoulder, looking for the right word.

"C... ute?"

This time, when Derek feels heat prickle his face, he knows he's blushing. Noticeably, for that matter. He scratches his cheek, red and speechless, and he doesn't really know where to go from here. This hyperactive, insane little asshole likes him, and Derek thinks he likes him back. It's - a lot.

It's a lot.

"Do you want to..." Derek falters. "We don't-- we don't have to. But do you want to go back to the party? With me, I mean.".

Stiles laughs, visibly relieved. He has the air of someone who's been watching someone else, waiting for a chance to speak to them, hoping to connect with them, hoping for something, and getting far more than he ever thought he would get. Derek knows that feeling, because he's got it, too.

"Okay."

He smiles, shy, and he laughs, dragging the heel of his shoe in the ground. They're young, and they're clumsy, and it's too early for this to be anything more than just... something, but it's exciting, and it's thrilling, and Derek feels like it could really be something good. Stiles keeps looking at him like he wants to make a joke, or like he wants to be funny, and Derek keeps trying to pull himself together so he can look cool and collected and mature, but.

They're both just happy. They're happy, and they have somewhere to be. Together.

"Okay," Stiles repeats. "Wait, one thing."

Derek looks up, eyebrows together.

"Can we get you a refill? I'm dying here."

[loverscreation]

2- FIRST DATE-ISH

Here's to V-Day, the start of a beautiful relationship. It took me forever to write this, but it's finally here. Thank you for all your patience!

About a month had passed since I met The Second, and we scheduled a movie for this evening. It was going to be just the two of us this time. No family, no friends. Just us… The intentions weren't set in stone, but that didn't take away from the joy.

This was by no means a formal event, but choosing an outfit was still stressful. I stared blankly at my closet, suddenly hating every choice.

Ping.

My music was interrupted by a message, causing me to check it in a hurry. Great, he was on his way, and I hadn’t even gotten dressed! Why must I be so indecisive?

The thrown-together outfit was something simple but cute. A long sleeve, tucked into high waisted jeans, topped off with casual black vans. You couldn't go wrong with that as a go-to, right? It was put on at record speed before my attention was set on makeup. The basics and a lipstick were enough for the occasion.

Hurrying to the bathroom mirror, I took in my appearance. It wasn’t bad! He’d never be able to tell I threw it all together in half an hour.

The other half hour was torturous. All that rushing was for nothing, now all that was left to do was wait. I should’ve taken longer getting ready.

But soon enough, there was a knock. My dog barked away and crowded the door at the intruder's beckon, but sliding through without her was a success. With my back to the now closed door, I smiled nervously at The Second, who had witnessed the struggle.

Hi,” I greeted with a breathless laugh.

He paused to take in my body language. The uneven breathing and tense muscles indicated I was nervous, however, he didn’t mention it. “Hello. Shall we go?”

Brushing off the awkward start, I straightened my posture. “Yes! We shall!”

He then offered me his elbow, which I happily looped my arm into. We strolled down the porch steps together like a princess being taken away from her prison.

Could you blame me for feeling that way? I was leaving to spend a night with my sharply dressed charming prince, who I was hooked arms with for all to see. This was far beyond the social status of my neighborhood too, the wandering eyes from across the street said as much. It didn't help that the man inhabiting the house across the way and I used to see each other (take that, Anthony). But still.

Upon our arrival at the vehicle, our arms unlinked and the back door was opened for me. A smile of gratitude was flashed his way before hopping in. He rounded the car and sat in the seat next to me.

The air was still as we took off. The radio was muted and no conversation took place for a good couple of minutes. Some higher power was to thank when The Second broke the silent spell.

“Could you turn the radio on?” The chauffeur did as requested, right hand reaching over to mess with the device. “Thank you.” A calm ballad carried through at a comforting volume.

Humming emitted from The Second, swooning my very being. My shoulders took on a less tense form as I not-so-secretly listened to the rich tones coming from him. His eyes looked to the side to see as much.

“You sing, correct? That is a requirement of musical theatre.” Looking me head on now, he lifted a curious eyebrow.

I nodded as I refused the urge to avoid eye contact. “I mean, sort of. I love to, but I've never taken lessons or been in a production before.” A chuckle slipped past my throat. “The most I've ever done was a karaoke contest in middle school.”

With continued interest, he continued his questioning. “Why have you started now instead of earlier in life? It is clearly a passion.”

“I guess I never had the opportunity, I was too busy learning how to dance,” my voice trailed off. That was a topic of shyness for me, though my lowered guard let it slip.

He gave a single nod of his head. “Ah, I see. It all makes sense now.”

“What makes sense?” It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. Whatever he was speaking of went right over my head.

A hand gesture up and down my body. “You clearly take excellent care of your body…” My cheeks set fire. “And your posture is very proper. Would I be in the presence of a ballerina?”

I tucked a curl behind my ear. “Not an experienced one, I only started ballet a few years ago. I've been doing hip hop.”

His eyes held a glint of skepticism, which only half surprised me. This reaction wasn't a first time offender. “Intriguing. How long have you been dancing?”

Having to think back, I made a quick count. “I started in sixth grade so almost seven years now.”

The remainder of the car ride went a similar way, poking and prodding at my musical background. He seemed to notice my reminiscent attitude, taking advantage of it to keep me speaking since I was so quiet in our first encounter. Seven years of dancing shifted to eight years in band class, which turned into the fears of what theatre held. He just kept me talking like no other.

The vehicle pulled over to the curb right in front of the mall, idling as the driver waited for us to leave. The two of us climbed out, and like earlier, our arms hooked together.

The mall was overflowing with shoppers and viewers alike. The ticket line for movies was massive, but that was acceptable as we hadn't picked what movie we wished to watch.

Studying the board of options, we chatting lowly about what seemed interesting. Chick flicks weren't an option for either of us and the action movies seemed dull.

The horror movies proved to be of common acceptance.

Though I had agreed to a horror movie, I gave a disclaimer. “I do like horror, don't get me wrong, but I'm also a huge wimp about it. I just wanted to warn you now.” My cheeks heated in embarrassment.

The Second removed his sunglasses and pocketed them.“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow with a teasing quirk of his lips. “Will I have to protect you, dear Alys?”

My eyes rolled before I dramatically leaned against him. “Please, hold me, Emeritus! I don't know what I would do without your protection!” my tone was slightly sharpened with humor.

The first taste of my attitude made him draw a blank for a quick moment. He gave a weak shake of his head and chuckled.

The sweet sound of his enjoyment in the form of a laugh made me uncontrollably smile. “I'm glad you invited me out tonight,” I blurted. “It's just that I'm very thankful you're giving me a chance to get to know you.”

Heart to heart confessions was never his strong suit, though he managed a reply. “If you are anything, it is sweet.”

His tone may have been a bit hard for the subject matter, but I chose to believe he meant it. No coherent reply presented itself to my mind so I opted to give his arm a slight squeeze of endearment.

By the time I tuned back into reality, we were at the head of the line and The Second was ordering our tickets. The young boy running the booth gave us a look that could only resemble shame. It was about our ages no doubt. Yes, I'm an adult, but he is still much older than me. I released my company's arm out of anxiety, and my eyes drew downwards to study the tiled flooring.

Moments later we left for concessions.

I tried to blow off how small I felt from that uncomfortable interaction. My Emeritus of the evening seemed to notice my shifted behavior.

“People fear what they do not understand,” he stated. He was right, though unwanted feelings never make things easy.

I gave him a start of a smile and a nod. “It's hard but true.” He wasn't a spoonful of sugar type, but his logical thinking was comforting. Who cares about some ticket booth boy with a narrow understanding? I didn't need his approval.

The Second put a hand on my back, giving it a small rub before retracting. “What would you like to get? My treat.”

Having someone else pay for my things always made me feel guilty, but I pushed it aside. “Just a small drink and some popcorn sound alright.”

Once it was our turn to order, we stood at the tall counter, big enough to come close to my shoulders. This elicited an upward tug of my date's lips.

“A large popcorn and a medium coke,” The Second stated. The staff got to work, meanwhile, I was too busy being entertained by the idea that we'd be sharing our treats. As small of a deal as that was, it had an oddly romantic feel to it.

We were sent on our way a few moments later, him with the popcorn and me with the coke. The medium size was larger than life, having to occupy both my hands. I sipped from the straw every now and again as we walked down the long hallways to our stop. He held the door open for me, which I thanked him for with a sweet smile.

“Where would you like to sit,” he whispered in my ear with a hand on the small of my back.

Leaning into him, I replied with a sure answer. “The middle right behind the bar. It's perfect viewing level.” Maybe I'd seen too many movies in the cinema when I was younger, but I knew it to be true. Seemingly pleased with my response, we sat exactly where I suggested.

He must have been studying me like an anthropologist that night, always giving an entertained chuckle or quirk of his lips. How I took my seat was no exception. While he sat with a mostly proper posture with both feet on the ground and leaning into the seat slightly, I sat criss-cross in my seat with a straight back. Most people aren't small enough to do so comfortably, but I was.

Just like always, there was the longest wait imaginable for the movie to begin. The screen destroyed our patience with advertisements, though we got by with light conversation and popcorn.

I was overflowing with excitement when the movie began. It was moderately scary, but the movie itself actually wasn't that good. It was all jumpscares and a half assed plot, though most newer horror movies had the same fault.

The best part about it would have to be The Second's arm finding itself resting around my shoulders. During the first scare, I flinched and he pulled me into him. I could've sworn I was dreaming because it was too good to be true. But it was real, and it stayed there until the lights came on at the end.

“They do not make them like they used to,” he commented on the way out as he threw the empty popcorn bin away.

Following his lead, the drained cup was thrown out as well. “I couldn't agree more.”

There was no purpose of stopping at the any of the stores since they would be closing soon so we started to head for the exit.

He looked over at me with calm eyes. “Was tonight's movie a waste?” The wording of his sentence led me to believe that he actually wanted to ask if I enjoyed going out with him, though he didn't wish to say it.

Returning the gaze, I gave him a soft smile. Despite the quality of the movie, I wouldn't take it back for anything. “Not at all.” Judging by his silence, he was pleased with my answer.

Talking my anxiety down, I made the next move. I didn't have the will to look at him, though my small and slightly shaking hand meekly slide into his all the same. He gave my hand a squeeze of endearment to my surprise.

The way back to my house was very much the same. Our hands were locked, my soft humming and his singing lacing the air in the vehicle. I felt besides reality, off in my own world, though it soon came to an end.

The Second walked me to the door. After unlocking it, I turned to him.

“Thank you. Maybe the movie was a little laughable, but I had a really good time.” My eyes glistened with infatuation. “Is there any chance we can see eachother again?”

He nodded. “Yes, of course.” Thinking that was that, I was about ready to turn around and bid him goodnight. His voice stopped me. “Be mine,” he blurted out.

“What?” I blinked a few times in surprise. “Are you sure?” There were at least a million people on this earth that would be better than me, but his expression remained unmoved.

“I am sure.” He took both my hands in his, my heart fluttering about in my chest. “Tonight has opened my eyes. I want you to be mine, nothing less than that. What do you say?”

I tried to push the smile away, I really did, but there was no stopping it from spreading across my lips. Cupping the back of his neck, I got on my tip toes. he was still just out of reach. “Come here,” I said softly.

Leaning down like I requested, he was in my range. The softest of pecks was placed upon his cheek. I pulled away and opened my door. “I hope that answers your question.”

We shared a smile. “Goodnight, Alys.”

[astarlightmonbebe]

80 Questions Tag

Tagged by Ayesh- @fantasymirror -thank you so much, looks like it’s a long one :)

What was your…

1. Last drink?

Milk

2. Last phone call?

My mom lol

3. Last text?

“You still haven’t taken your clothes lol”

--->My friend left a couple of her pairs of shorts over here and hasn’t taken them back for almost two weeks.

4. Last song

One More Light by Linkin Park

5. Last time you cried?

I think I got a little teary eyed when watching something a couple of days ago,,,now I can’t remember what it was-most likely writing or a kdrama-but it was midnight so... ^^

Have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice?

I’ve never dated anyone

7. Been cheated on?

Nope, for the previous reason

8. Kissed anyone and regretted it?

My cat.  His breath was realllly bad.

9. Lost someone special?

I guess I kind of had,,,

10. Been depressed?

I’ve been sad, but not depressed.

11. Been drunk and threw up?

The most alcohol I’ve ever had is the teaspoon amount for communion.

List your three favorite colors

12.  Blue 13.  Dust/Rose Pink 14.  Silver and Black

In the last year have you…

15. Made a new friend?

Yes!

16. Fallen out out of love?

Nope :)

17. Laughed so hard that you cried?

No, but I’ve laughed so hard that I basically choked and then another time I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe, so are those equivalents?

18.Met someone who changed you?

Yeah, I think so.

19. Found out who your true friends are?

Mmmm, a little bit, most of that was a while ago though.

20. Found out someone was talking about you?

No, not in that aspect haha.

21. Kissed anyone on your FB list?

No

22. How many people do you know on your FB list?

I assume FB is Facebook, which I don’t have.

Randoms

23. Do you have any pets?

I have three cats!!!  I love and adore them :)

24. Do you want to change your name

I like my name, except for the fact that I know a couple other people in my grade with the same name, so that can be inconvenient. 

25. What did you do for your last birthday party?

Sleepover where we stayed up for Exo and then fell asleep at five a.m.  This might be why we found Kokobop completely hilarious.

26. What time did you wake up this morning?

I woke up at like seven, but then I slept until 9:30.  I didn’t get out of bed until 10, though.  

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?

I was watching episode four of Uncontrollably Fond.

28. Something you can’t wait for?

GOT7 in less than ten days!!!!  Also my birthday.

29. Last time you saw your mother?

Around ten minutes ago.

30. One thing you wish you could change about your life?

Realistically, I have nothing I would really want to change.  I can’t imagine a reality I would really want other than the one I’m in.

31. What are you listening to right now?

Universe by Exo, it’s on my Youtube mix.

32. Have you ever talked to a Tom?

I knew a Tommy, but not a Tom.

33. What’s getting on your nerves right now?

There’s nothing I can think of at the moment.

34. Most viewed webpage?

Does Google Docs count?  Besides that, either Youtube or Ao3.

35. Nickname?

My two close friends call me E at times, but otherwise I don’t have one.  

36. Relationship status?  

Single pringle without plans to mingle.

37. Zodiac sign?

Cancer

38. College?

I don’t know, I’m not there yet.

39. Hair color?

Auburn

40. Long or short?

Long, to my waist.  I’ve never had it short, but it I ever got it cut, I think it would probably be shoulder length.

41. Height?

5′6

42. Do you have a crush on someone?

Not at the moment.

43. What do you like about yourself?

My hair haha.

44. Tattoos?

Nope

45. Right or left handed?

Leftie ^ ^

46. First piercing?

My ears, when I was eight.  It was my birthday present.

47. First best friend?

My sister, though we fought a lot when we were young, now we’re the best of friends.

48. First sport you joined?

I’ve never joined a sport.  Well, I guess I did ballet for two months when I was like six.

49. First vacation?

Williamsburg, my parents have pictures.

50. Eating?

I just ate.

51. Drinking?

Not at the moment.

52. About to?

Well, after this I’m going to work on my drafts and write.

53. Listening to?

...we just did this...anyways, now it’s Polaris by Nu’est W.

Your Future…

54. Want kids?

Yeah, two or three most likely.

55. Get married?

Yes, but not for a long while.

56. Career?

I want to be a writer.  If not a straight up novelist, at least something like journalism or whatever else there is, with noveling on the side. (I’m making that a word)

Which Is Better (in a significant other)?

57. Lips or eyes?

Eyes

58.Hugs or kisses?

Hugs, I think

59. Shorter or taller?

A little bit taller, or the same height.

60. Older or younger?

I would prefer someone of the same age, and if they are younger than me, then I want them born in the same year.  For older I would do only two or three years.

61. Romantic or spontaneous?

I don’t know?

62. Nice stomach or arms?

Stomach

63. Loud or sensitive?

Sensitive, I can’t have someone who is constantly loud.

64. Hook-up or relationship?

Relationship definitely, I’m not looking for one night stands or whatever.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant?

Can there be a balance?

Have You Ever…

66. Kissed a stranger?

Never

67. Drank hard liquor?

Nope

68. Lost glasses/contacts?

I don’t have any.

69. Had sex on the first date?

Never been on a date!

70. Broken someone’s heart?

Not that I’m aware of.

71. Been arrested?

Nope!

72. Turned someone down?

There’s never been anyone to turn down.

73. Cried when someone died?

Meh, I guess.

74. Fallen for a friend?

Uhhhh,,,kind of but it was like in sixth grade so I don’t really count in.

Do You Believe In…

75. Yourself?

Some of the time

76. Miracles?

If I ever see one ^ ^

77. Heaven?

Yeah

78. Santa Claus?

No, or at least not anymore.

79. Kisses on the first date?

That’s really a scenario question, but I don’t think I would do it unless the person is really something special.

I guess 80 is tags so~~~~~ @thepowerofanimu @str4y-k1ds @tolwenjun

[jack-irallie]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. 

I was tagged by @geothefafa

🍒LAST🍒 Last drink: Black Tea

Last phone call: I called my mom to ask if the extra tator tots in the freezer were up for grabs, long story short, delicious 

Last text message:  Confirmation for sending in a scholarship form

Last song you listened to: uhhh *checks phone* Hymn by Kesha

Last time I cried: I got frustrated after having sleep paralysis for like the third time in two weeks (kill me)

🍒HAVE YOU EVER🍒 Dated someone twice: no

Been cheated on: *sighs* yeeeepppp

Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve never kissed anything but a pillow *sweats nervously*

Lost someone special: yeah but 9/10 times it was for the better in the long run

Been depressed: all day erry day

Been drunk and thrown up: I’m a baby that tried drinking once, freaked out, and downed a bunch of water, so no

🍒IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU🍒 Made a new friend: met @averageordinarysuperhuman about six months ago, he’s the best, love you bro <3 (Also @crusheramaris , you’re one cool friend *thumbs up*)

Fallen out of love: twice

Laughed until you cried: every time I hang out with @geothefafa​

Met someone who changed you: @averageordinarysuperhuman , you’ve brought out all the best things in me my dude

Found out who your true friends were: I hope all my friends are true cause I love them all

Found out someone was talking about you: um I don’t think so? That’s good

🍒GENERAL🍒 How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: my best friends @geothefafa and @paramore-sparks

Do you have any pets?: My brother has some fish, and we have two family guniea pigs (though I’ve learned I’m not very good with small animals whoops)

Do you want to change your name?: My birth name is Hayley, and while I go by Jack now, I do still need to change it legally

What time did you wake up this morning?: Around 7 am to help with cleaning the house

What were you doing last night?: Pass out at like nine, wake up a couple of hours later from sleep paralysis, calm myself down, and then go back to sleep.

Name something you cannot wait for: when @averageordinarysuperhuman and I can finally live together

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Love Tom, feel bad for the dude for never being able to catch that damn mouse

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: Myself for being too jittery to focus on anything productive

Blood type: Red

Nickname: uhhhh I don’t have one tbh...wait. DOORMAN

Relationship status: Wishful for the future with the biggest crush on a certain someone <3

Zodiac sign: Pisces

Pronouns: he/him

Favorite tv show: A tie between Spongebob and Superjail

College: a yearish away from an associates in psychology

Hair color: dark brown that some people mistake for black (I remember thinking it was the coolest thing as a kid though, cause I found a hair dye in the store that was exactly the same color as mine)

Do you have a crush on someone: HMM I WONDER *sweats even more nervously*

What do you like about yourself: I’ve always loved my hair. And the fact that I’m a dude, that too. But honestly, even though I don’t like myself too much, I’m learning. Remember “who changed you?” That was more meaning a change of perspective of myself. I’ve learned to love myself more because they don’t care about my imperfections, they even like my weird quirks, and always comfort me when I’m feeling down about myself.

🍒FIRSTS🍒

First surgery: I was a tumor baby, does that count?

First piercing: I got ear piercings as a younging, only for them to get infected, and I had to take them out. And I never tried again, thank goodness. My ears are happy and unpierced. 

First sport you joined: My parents wanted to me to join the soccer team that my aunt ran when I was little, but it was hell 0/10 do not recommend. 

First vacation: Wales, England for my sixth birthday (I wanna go back bruh)

Eating: First...food? What does this even mean? That titty milk I guess

Drinking: (gonna assume this means first alcohol) We already went over this

I’m about to: fuck it, probably go to sleep

Listening to: silence

Want kids: *punts kids into sun*

Get married: marriage is super important to me, but nothing big. A small thing and then off to a honeymoon in Japan

Career: I’m working towards being a therapist, but right now, I’m a bum with no job lol

🍒WHICH IS BETTER🍒

Lips or eyes: Eyes if being romantic, lips if being sexy

Hugs or kisses: Both, lazy cuddles with pecks on my neck

Shorter or taller: Considering my crush, smoll is adorable

Older or younger: Older, but not too much older (though I love age gaps in fictional romantic stories)

Romantic or spontaneous: hopeless romantic but super shy

Sensitive or loud: I'm a super sensitive baby that needs to be protected at all costs

Hook up or relationship: bruh I don’t even want sex, so relationship, please

Troublemaker or hesitant: I can be a little shit tbh

🍒 HAVE YOU EVER 🍒

Kissed a stranger: I kissed a boy in second grade but I knew him so nah

Drank hard liquor: see the fact that I’m a baby from earlier

Lost glasses/contacts: I got them good eyes

Sex on first date:  I mean, I’d bang Danny Avadian in a heartbeat. But anyone else? Nah 

Broken someone’s heart: HHHHHhhhhhnnn I hope not but that’s personal

Been arrested: *authoritarian policeman* HEY

Turned someone down: not really actually

Fallen for a friend:  short answer: yep

🍒 DO YOU BELIEVE 🍒

In yourself: I’m learning to, but currently, not a lot

Miracles: When I started my period back in seventh grade, I didn’t have a pad and was on a field trip, but just decided to ignore it, and nothing bad happened. I only told my mom about my period the second time it happened. I think that’s a miracle. Oh and also meeting @averageordinarysuperhuman that too (lmao), and having other amazing friends

Love at first sight: nah, that’s just infatuation (either in a romantic or sexual sense), gotta get to know them to truly be in love 

Heaven: I’m not sure? I feel like our rationalizations of religion as a whole are just ways for humans to understand a concept that’s way too big for us to even start to wrap our brains around. It’s on such a higher level that it’s impossible. So, taking the concepts and dumbing them down, I do see how a place for souls to go when they die does make sense. Though, I believe in reincarnation so *shrugs*

Santa Claus: He was a real guy a long time ago, so yeah, technically. He seemed like such a sweet, old man :)

[mysticdelphox97]

Tagged by Kalosstarters c:

Welp, I got tagged by Tiia ( @kalosstarters ) so I guess I gotta do this lmao.

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

(this was 13 fucking pages long on Word jesus. I’ll add a “Keep Reading” break so it doesn’t take up people’s dashboards)

LAST…

[1] drink: a mocha coffee cooler from Baker’s Dozen ^^

[2] phone call: uhh, mom probably.

[3] text message: From Mom: “Here.” (she was picking me up from classes)

[4] song you listened to: I’ve got Pandora Radio playing while doing this, so I’ve heard Panic at the Disco and Against the Current so far.

[5] time you cried: Sunday night because I completely forgot that I had an art critique due the next day and I completely forgot and it was midnight and I was trying to churn out this pathetic paper for something I left until the last minute and [SCREEAAMMMMINGGG]

Phew. Okay, I think I’m good now.

 HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: I haven’t even dated someone once.

[7] been cheated on: Considering I’ve never been in a relationship, thankfully I can say no lol.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Can’t regret something I’ve never done sooooo xD

[9] lost someone special: Yeah… ;^;

[10] been depressed: Ugh… yes. It’s… pretty awful, honestly. Couple that with anxiety and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: I haven’t gotten drunk before, but I have thrown up after drinking an excessive amount of one of those Starbucks mocha drinks when I was a kid. I can’t even look at one of those things anymore because of that.

 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Purple, like an orchid. C:

[13] Sky blue is rather pretty~

[14] I know black isn’t technically a color but I sure have a lot of black shirts pfft.

 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Tiia and Beth ( @wingsonghalo)~! :D they might be internet friends but I love talking to them every day <3

[16] fallen out of love: Never really been in love tbh. I’ve had crushes that I’ve grown out, that’s close enough right?

[17] laughed until you cried: That’s pretty much me all the time tbh.

[18] found out someone was talking about you: In high school I think… but they weren’t really bad things.

[19] met someone who changed you: Like, for better/worse? I guess most of the people I’ve met have influenced me in some way or another.

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yep. Kinda happened after I graduated from high school.

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: Other than my mom and dad? Nope.

 GENERAL…

[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: Other than my friend Kelsie, and a few people from high school. Sadly I do not know Tiia or Beth in real life and that makes me very sad, I wanna meet you guys so bad dang it T^T

[23] do you have any pets: Hah, oh god yeah. Three horses, three sheep (we used to have hundreds when I was a kid), three cats (two are mine and they’re my babies c: ), and two little dogs—a purebred pug and a pug/Pekingese mix. Oh, and my family lives on a farm, in case that needed some clarification.

[24] do you want to change your name: pfft hell no, I love my name. Besides, you’re not gonna meet many people who’s name is Rosaleen (and spelled exactly like that too)

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I went out to a restaurant with some of my family. It was a school day for my brothers though, and my younger bro had football practice, so it was really just me, my mom, my grandma, and my sister with her baby.

[26] what time did you wake up: a little before 9 AM since I had to go to class.

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Pumping out mini profiles for my Pokémon fankids because my priorities are trash. Oh, and playing Candy Crush Jelly.

[28] name something you cannot wait for: MarissonShipping Week! :D I can’t wait to participate in it!!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: This morning when I got dropped off at college.

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I didn’t have social anxiety so I could actually go out and be productive, and not be so terrified of social interaction with strangers. It’s awful.

[31] what are you listening to right now: Whatever’s playing on Pandora Radio. When I got to this question, “Blood Like Gasoline” by Against the Current was playing.

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Uhh, I knew a Tom in high school… he was kind of a bum though.

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: Whenever my brother doesn’t put away the dishes properly, or doesn’t put them all away. IT’S NOT THAT HARD BRO. HONESTLY.

[35] elementary: Like, elementary school? I guess it was okay… well, except for the boys constantly picking on me. That sucked. And that’s about the time my parents separated. That also sucked. Yeah, elementary school just really sucked.

[36] high school: Oh man I really miss the high school I went to. I flourished so well there and had a great time.

[37] college: Honestly… pretty boring. I’m just taking my general studies and getting them out of the way before I transfer to another college, so I can focus on what I love. The problem is, I really don’t know what I want to do with that. It’s very frustrating.

[38] hair colour: Oh god it always changes because it’s got a bunch of different highlights. It’s like, a reddish-brown with gold highlights, and it gets lighter in the sun. It’s really weird.

[39] long or short hair: Uhh, right now it’s like, a little over shoulder-length. I usually keep it a bit shorter because I never do much with my hair.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Nope, and when I did get crushes it was always on the wrong kind of person. So I kinda hate crushes on real people since it always disappoints pfft.

[41] what do you like about yourself?: Oh jeez, what DO I like about myself? Well… I guess the fact that I can exceed my own expectations? Like, with driving, I didn’t think I’d do well with it at all—and now that I’ve been driving for over a year now, I’m actually a lot better at it. And on a couple of exams that I took a few weeks ago, I thought I’d get at least a B on them; turns out that I got A’s on both of them. And I like that a lot lol

[42] piercings: I’ve got one in my earlobes, and in high school I used to wear earrings all the time. Now it’s like, kinda sporatic.

[43] blood type: I think it’s a B-. RedCross really wants me to donate again because they keep calling me lmao.

[44] nickname: I go by Mystic on Tumblr and Rose in real life.

[45] relationship status: Single, and tbh that doesn’t bother me too much.

[46] zodiac sign: Virgo c:

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show: Lately I’ve been really into Forensic Files—it’s about older cases and the techniques that were used to solve them. I also love Bones and Criminal Minds. And, of course, there’s the Pokémon Anime.

[49] tattoos: Nope. Though I should get the backs of my hands tattooed so I know which one’s left and which one’s right. It’s a dumb thing to forget but agh I forget way too often.

[50] right or left handed: Right-handed!

 FIRST…

[51] surgery: When I was in first grade I broke my left arm and needed surgery. I also had my tonsils and adenoids removed.

[52] piercing: Ears. I believe I got them in eighth grade.

[53] best friend: My friend Miranda, we’ve been best friends since elementary school c: she’s mostly working now but I usually try to get together with her if her schedule allows.

[55] vacation: I remember going to Washington DC for the first time in fifth grade for a weekend. I don’t remember a whole lot about it though. I guess my first ‘real’ vacation was the class trip I went on in eighth grade, which was also to Washington DC but it was for a whole week. Though I twisted my foot literally the day before I had to leave, so I hobbled about on crutches for the most part, and I had a wheel chair for one of the night tours. A lot of my classmates had fun pushing me around in it lol.

[56] pair of trainers: Is that like, a kind of shoe or sneaker? I’m afraid I have no clue.

 RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Nothing. I have a protein bar but I’m kinda stuffed from the breakfast sandwich I had earlier.

[58] drinking: Still working on my mocha coffee cooler.

[59] I’m about to: Eventually post this, preferably before I go to class at 2:00 PM.

[60] listening to: I think I answered this question already earlier… well, now Pandora Radio is playing “Miss Jackson” by Panic at the Disco.

[61] waiting for: uh, nothing in particular. I guess for this day to be over?

[62] want: I can’t really think of anything at the moment.

[63] get married: Ehh, I guess of the person is rich I wouldn’t mind. Though if they want kids I’ll have to drag them to the nearest adoption center, there’s plenty of children there. I don’t necessarily want to procreate when there’s kids that can be adopted into a loving home.

[64] career: Currently a suffering student pfft. I guess I’d like to be an accomplished author or someone who works with animals. Maybe I could even help write movies? Who knows.

 WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: I’m a sucker for hugs

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes are nice.

[67] shorter or taller: Meh, I’m not picky.

[68] older or younger: Ehh, not picky here either.

[69] romantic or spontaneous: I like both tbh c:

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: bruh do I gotta choose. Bruh.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

 HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? Definitely not.

[75] drank hard liquor? I think I tried it (with parent supervision of course). It was nasty lmao.

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? I don’t believe so. I can’t exactly see without my glasses so they’re usually on my face or on my nightstand.

[77] turned someone down: I think someone asked me out in sixth grade and I turned him down. I kinda felt a little bad because the people I was friends with at the time teased him about it.

[78] sex on first date? Bruh I haven’t even been on a date lmao xD

[79] broken someone’s heart? If I ever did I’m so sorry ;;

[80] had your own heart broken? Yeah…

[81] been arrested? No

[82] cried when someone died? Yes

[83] fallen for a friend? Yeah, it was a crush I had on a guy friend in middle school. We both loved Pokémon and would pretend to have battles during recess. We drifted apart eventually, and he hung out a lot with this other girl. I guess he had a crush on her, but I’m not sure. I kinda miss that.

  DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? Uhhh, probably not as much as I should...

[85] miracles? It depends

[86] love at first sight? Meh, not really.

[87] Santa Claus? Kinda grew out of that a while ago lol

[88] kiss on the first date? Sure why not?

[89] angels?: I’m kind of indifferent.

 OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Miranda, Kelsie, Beth, and Tiia c:

[91] eye colour: brown

[92] favourite movie: I recently watched Moana and I absolutely loved it, so I’m gonna roll with Moana! :)

 I can’t really think of anyone to tag at the moment, so if anyone wants to do this you’re more than welcome to ^.^

[wild3flow3r]

0500: You’re Too Close For Comfort

It was one of those days where it felt like absolutely nothing could go wrong. Those days only come once every other week. They are also known as Harper’s day off of work. The day where she can just lay in bed all day with Felix and eat nothing but junk food and yell at the people on some crappy reality television show. Those days are perfect.

So the morning started out just as it usually does. It’s around noon when Harper finally wakes up with Felix curled up around her head. It was wonderful, that is until her phone rang five minutes later.

“What?” Harper snaps, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

“Harper?” Nicholas’ timid voice rings out from the other side of the phone.

“Sorry, Nicholas, I thought you were someone else.” Harper’s voice immediately becomes softer, “How are you doing?”

“I um… I’m good. Sorry I haven’t called you since we had that dinner, but I’ve been busy with school and stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it, Nicholas. It was only a week and a half ago. I expected not to hear from you for another week,” Harper tries to laugh it off. She would never admit to him how much it was hurting her that he chose not to talk to her.

“I actually have a favor to ask. You aren’t at work, are you?”

“I have the day off today. What’s up, little brother?”

“I have to do this project for the Psychology class I was telling you about. We have to make a family tree and describe any mental health problems our family might have had. I’ve tried to call Rachel and Peter, but they must be on another vacation or something because they aren’t answering. And you always seem to know a lot about our birth family.”

“I’d have to do a bit of research first before I could help you,” Harper replies, a seed of nervousness planted deep in the pit of her stomach. “I might have to go up to Scotland one weekend to the house for any official documents.”

“Well, we could start off with Mom and Dad for now. I wanted to know if we could meet today so that I can just start jotting some notes down.”

“Yeah… Okay sure. I’ll meet you at Hyde Park, say in about an hour?”

“I’ll see you in an hour and a half then,” Nicholas chuckles before hanging up the phone.

“Shit.”

***

“My big sister, oh how I’ve missed you,” Nicholas laughs as he wraps his arms tightly around Harper’s waist.

“It’s been way too long,” Harper hums as she hugs him back.

“I’ve got you something,” he grins as he hands her a small brown bag.

“You’re an angel,” Harper gushes as she smells the chocolaty goodness inside of the bag. “You’re my favorite brother.”

“I’m your only brother.”

“That doesn’t mean that you aren’t my favorite,” she says as she pinches his cheek.

“Well, come on and sit down.” He leads her to a bench where his bookbag is residing. “We’ve a lot to talk about.”

“Yes we do,” Harper agrees with a tight smile. “When is this project due?”

“At the end of the semester, right before Christmas.”

“Alright, so I’ll just give you some of the basics today. We can go more in depth after I’ve collected the documents.”

“Alright,” Nicholas nods his head, “we’ll start with mum first.”

“Well, her name is Belle Hastings, obviously.” Harper watches as he writes her name down in his notebook. “Where should I start from?” She opens the brown paper bag.

“The beginning.”

“Well, she was born March twenty-sixth, 1971. I don’t remember her parents names, but if I remember correctly, she has a sister. Again you’ll have to wait until I go to Scotland for her family information.”

“We should go up together. I haven’t visited the house for a couple of months now,” Nicholas muses as he scribbles some things down on the paper.

“Definitely. Anyways, she was a good student. She always got good grades, just like someone else I know,” Harper coos as she pats his knee a couple of times.

“How old was she when she met Dad?”

“When she was sixteen or seventeen. He’s five years older than her so apparently their relationship didn’t bode well with her parents. Should I start talking about Dad now?”

“Yeah, let’s talk about the mystery man now.”

“Well, you know his name is Alexander Williams. I don’t know the exact date, but he was born in 1966. He dropped out of high school before he could graduate, so instead he joined the army. He married Mom as soon as she graduated the high school. I’ve been told that she traveled around with him for wherever he was stationed at the time. They only permanently settled in London once she found out she was pregnant with me.”

“What was it that drove her to depression?”

“It was his death. She didn’t even know she was pregnant with you yet when his commanding officer told her. It wasn’t immediate depression either. She was upset by it, of course, but she kept on pushing those thoughts away. It was months and months of pent up frustration and sadness. She also gave up her friends and family to be with him, so all she had was me and I was only two at the time. She was lonely and at some point it just became too much.”

“So she gave you up?”

“Yeah.” Harper looks down to the ground, a frown playing along her lips. “Peter and Rachel adopted me almost as soon as Mom gave me up. They kept in contact so that they could also adopt you once you were born. It was actually Peter and Rachel who recommended a psychiatric hospital to her. She’s been in there ever since.”

“So that’s when she was diagnosed with bipolar depression?”

“Yeah, it started right before she gave me up. Something inside of her just… snapped, and it couldn’t be fixed.”

“Could she leave the hospital if she wanted to?”

“No, not unless someone signs her out with the promise to take care of her. Even then it would be a whole extensive process with loads of paperwork and a home visit before she'd be let out.”

“Alright let’s talk about you, now. Do you think I should add your eidetic memory to my notes?” Nicholas smiles teasingly as he glances over to his sister.

Harper rolls her eyes. “I don’t know why you would.”

“Because I’m pretty sure it has something to do with psychology. Plus, it’s fucking awesome.”

“There’s nothing special about it.” “You can remember almost everything you’ve ever said, done, or read since you were the tender age of two. I’d say that it’s pretty special.”

“It’s also pretty much a curse. I can remember every cringe-worthy moment.”

Nicholas laughs loudly. “We’ll talk about it another time then.” He closes his notebook. “Do you want to get some coffee? I’m dying for a Starbucks frappuccino.”

“Mmm yes! You’re such a genius.” Harper presses her lips against the top of his head as she crumples up the now empty brown bag, “Let’s go.”

***

Today might not have gone as planned, but Harper still thought that it was going pretty perfect. It only got better when Clover met up with Harper and Nicholas at Starbucks during her break from work. Having her two most favorite people in the entire world with her at the same time was the key to her happiness.

“I don’t know why you won’t let me set you up on a date, Harper. I swear this man is perfect for you,” Clover whines as she glares at Harper.

“I wouldn’t even bother trying, Clover. Harper scares almost every boy she’s ever met. Most of my friends can’t stand being in the same room as her for more than five minutes,” Nicholas teases.

“It’s not my fault that they feel like I threaten their masculinity. Tell them to grow a pair and stop acting so damn fragile.”

“Ah, well I would but you already have. Every time you see them.”

“And obviously they haven’t taken my advice yet because they still feel like I threaten something they don’t even have.”

“Guys, can we please get back on topic?” Clover waves her hands frantically to grab their attention. “The bottom line is that you believe that your free time should be spent eating things that will clog your arteries while having staring contests with Felix.”

“It’s not my fault he’s so good at it! I’ll beat him one day, I swear it!”

She rolls her eyes. “I know that you’re more lonely then you let on Harper. Besides, it’s just one date. If you don’t like the guy then you never have to see him again.”

Harper’s bottom lips juts out into a pout and she crosses her arms over her chest stubbornly. She wasn’t going to do this if she didn’t get anything in return. “Fine, but then you have to let me set you up on a date with someone.”

Clover glares at her accusingly. “Who are you going to set me up with Harper?”

“I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see,” Harper smirks.

“Fine, deal.”

“Good. Now let’s talk about something-” Harper falters as someone stomps through the entrance, “oh shit.”

“What?” Nicholas chuckles, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What’s wrong with you?”

Clover turns around in her seat to follow Harper’s train of sight. She can’t help her own laugh that falls past her lips.

“What is it? What am I missing?” Nicholas demands as he pokes his sister's side. “Who is he?” He’d obviously caught on to the man they were staring at.

Harper’s jaw had dropped at the sight of him. She has barely seen him since the night she arrested that man three days ago. Apparently he was suspended for a week by Claudette for not following protocol. His black t-shirt was soaked with sweat and his gym shorts hung low on his hips. He was even wearing a headband, one that he probably used often when his hair was long but now it had no use with it all chopped off.

“That’s the boy Harper thinks has a nice arse when he wears his tight jeans.” Clover raises a mocking eyebrow in her direction. “I’m guessing she finds it pleasing in those shorts as well.”

“Clover!” Harper gasps, her cheeks turning a bright red. “You shut your mouth. I don’t… It’s not…”

“You know him?” Nicholas’ amusement lighted along his features.

“She works with him. They work under the same division in the electronics company.”

“Well, what’s his name?” “Why do you need to know his name?” Harper frowns and narrows her eyes at her brother.

“Harry,” Clover replies.

“Nicholas, you better not do what I think you’re about to do. I swear-”

“Oh, Harry,” Nicholas calls out over the noise of the surrounding tables. He lets out small screech of pain after Harper digs her nails into his side.

Harry’s head turns around in confusion at his name. His head cocks to the side as he spots Nicholas, but his normal cocky look dances along his features once he realizes that it’s Harper sitting next to him. He holds his finger up to let them know that he’ll be with them in just a moment and pays for the water he just ordered.

“I’m going to kill you,” Harper mutters to Nicholas just before Harry reaches their table.

“Hello, Harper,” Harry greets as he towers over the table. “Funny running into you here.”

“It’s a local Starbucks. If I’m being honest, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Okay,” Harry rolls his eyes. “It’s Clover, right?” He asks as he turns toward the other redhead, “We’ve met briefly before, but Niall’s mentioned you a couple of times.”

“He has?” Clover squeaks as she looks up to Harry in wonder.

“Mhmm. Says he knows something cool about you, but he’s sworn to keep it a secret. He’s a right prat, that one. And I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you yet.” He turns towards Nicholas.

“My name is Nicholas Hastings,” he sends a wink in Harper’s direction while he shakes Harry’s hand.

“Hastings?”

“Aw now, don’t tell me that my beautiful big sister has forgotten to mention her wonderful brother.”

“It never came up,” Harry murmurs in response.

“It didn’t have to. Harry and I aren’t exactly friends,” Harper growls through clenched teeth. “He’s more of a pest.”

“I don’t know why she always insists on talking to her boss this way,” Harry’s lips tip up into a smirk.

“You are not my boss. We have the same exact job.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“And is that why I got a raise a few days ago and you didn’t?”

“Wow, I didn’t know an electronics company was something to be some competitive about,” Nicholas laughs and drapes his arm over the back of Harper’s chair. “If the money’s good, I might just join it myself.”

“Trust me, Nicholas, it’s probably a job you wouldn’t want. Working with your sister would probably drive you mental.”

“Well, I don’t know. We’ve been working pretty well for the last nineteen years, haven’t we?”He nudges his shoulder against Harper’s. “We’re the dream team, baby brother. Nobody would ever dare mess with us.”

“Well, if you don’t mind I actually have to talk to Harper for a moment about work. I was hoping to steal her away for a few moments,” Harry requests with an expectant look.

Before Harper could tell him to fuck off, Nicholas beat her to a response. “I don’t mind at all. I’ll just tease Clover about this Niall character in the meantime.”

Harry flicks his head to another part of the cafe where it’s more private. With a quiet huff, Harper stomps away from her brother and best friend. She glares up at Harry as she leans against a wall, her arms crossed over her chest.

“What do you need?” She demands with a frown on her face.

“Have you talked to the man we caught yet?”

“You mean the man I caught?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Well, have you talked to him or not?”

“I don’t see why this is any of your business because Claudette has given this case to me, and me only, but if you must know, no I haven’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because he isn’t out of the infirmary yet. He claims he still needs to be treated for some nonexistent injuries. They’re just appeasing him now so that he’ll be more inclined to cooperate with us when I do question him.”

Someone walks past Harry, and with the limited room available Harry has to lean into Harper so that he isn’t in the way. He has to lean his arms on both sides of her head so that he doesn’t fall right into her. Harper can even feel his legs bang into her own. Harry makes no move to leave the position as more people seem to want to walk this way.

“When do you think he’ll be ready for questioning?” His breath hits the side of her face.

“Tomorrow, hopefully. It may be another couple of days though. It’s a big case and nobody wants to screw it up. If it means playing nice with a man who possibly holds some serious information then the agency is willing to do it.”

“You could wait until my suspension is over. I can-”

“You are not stealing this from me, Harry. I got this case fair and square.” Harper places a hand on his chest to push him off of her. His hovering figure made her hot in more than one way.

“Right, but you’re new at this Harper. You could use some help.”

“Well, then I’ll ask for help when I need it, but I don’t need it right now.” She slips out from under him. “And I know why you really want this case, Harry. You still have this obsession with the Wildes ever since your Alexia lead all of those years ago, and I won’t feed your obsession.”

“I don’t have an obsession, Harper-”

“Then stop asking,” she cuts him off. “I’ll talk to you in a few days after your suspension.”

“But, Harper-”

“Goodbye, Harry.” She leaves him without another word. She presumes he leaves when he doesn’t follow her.

“Is everything okay?” Nicholas asks when she makes a reappearance at the table.

“Everything is perfect,” she coos and ruffles his hair.

***

“Good morning, Claudette,” Harper greets as soon as she enters her office. It was the last day before Harry was allowed back to work, and Harper was relishing the time she had left. Without his presence, Harper finally had a chance to get to know the rest of her team members better, and believe it or not, they had grown a bit closer.

“Good morning, Harper,” Claudette responds with a small smile. “I have some good news for you today.” She had sent out for Harper as soon as Harper had clocked in for work.

“I’m hoping it’s about our little friend.”

“It is, actually. He’s finally agreed to talk to us. He still seems quite frightened, but he was compliant when we brought him to the interrogation room. Hopefully you can get something out of him. All we’ve been able to get so far is that his name is Mark Morales.”

“I’ll try my best,” Harper nods as she turns to leave. “Is there anything else?”

“Just a good luck, my dear. With this man, I know you’ll probably need it.”

***

“Hello, Mr. Morales. I’m Harper Hastings. We had the pleasure of meeting the other night,” Harper greets the man sitting down across from her. She almost sticks her hand out to shake his, but then she notices his hands chained to the table.

“You’re the bitch who arrested me,” Mark spat and tugs on the chains uselessly. “What do you want?”

“I just want to ask you a couple of questions,” Harper states innocently with a bat of her eyes.

“Well, I’m not going to answer them. I’d rather not die, thanks.”

“Well, why would you die, Mark?” She cocks her head to the side.

“Adam Wilde would kill me, of course. Either him or his daughter.”

“But that’s the problem, Mark. Adam and Alexia Wilde, they’re dead. They died nineteen years ago.”

Mark’s eyes squint in confusion and it takes him a few moments to collect his thoughts. “No. No, I saw Adam yesterday.”

“What year is it, Mark?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. What’s it matter?” Marks barks defensively and leans back as far away as he can from Harper.

“So you saw Adam yesterday? What about Alexia? When was the last time you saw her?” Harper asks instead of answering his question.

“Yeah, I saw him yesterday. We had a long talk. I haven’t seen Alexia since she was a little girl, but Adam shows me pictures every once in awhile. He has a picture of her from when she was fifteen or so. It’s on his desk.”

“What did you and Adam talk about?” Harper leans in closer, resting her elbows on the table and her head on her hands.

“I… I can’t say. He’d kill me. We might be best mates, but he’d kill me,” Mark shakes his head repeatedly.

“You’re best mates with Adam Wilde?” She raises an eyebrow. Harper is still trying to figure out whether or not the information he’s giving her is truthful. He doesn’t know what the year is so that makes his story look bad, but he also looks legitimately scared that Adam Wilde might kill him.

“Hell yeah. We went to school together. Even our fathers were best mates. We always assumed our sons would be as well, but then that wife of his gave him a daughter. He was pissed as hell. The only thing that kept him from killing his family was that I promised she could marry my son once they were eighteen. I was that little girl’s godfather.”

“But Adam Wilde killed his wife and daughter,” Harper states bluntly. “They’re dead, Mark.”

Mark shakes his head. “No. She’s not. He might’ve gone and killed his old lady, but never his daughter. She’s the heir to his gang, and he wouldn’t risk getting another woman pregnant if there was a chance that the child would be another girl. But he didn’t kill his wife. I know he didn’t kill his wife.”

“But how do you know that he didn’t kill her? Does he show you pictures of her too?”

“No, but what I’m saying is that he didn’t kill her. He wouldn’t lie about killing her or anybody for that matter. He’s told me that it wasn’t him. He isn’t the reason why she’s dead.”

“Mark, how do I know that anything you’re saying is the truth? For all I know you could be making this all up as we go.”

“I’m telling the truth!”

“But I can’t believe it without proof. Now we can either go back and forth all day on Adam and Alexia all day, or we can talk about the charges you’re facing.”

“Charges? I didn’t do anything!” He slams his hands down on the table. Harper doesn’t even flinch.

“You broke into the Bank of London and you shot an agent. That’s up to fifteen years in jail.”

“But I was told to do it! I didn’t want to be there, but Adam told me to break in.”

“I’m sorry, Mark, but I can’t believe anything you’re saying without proof. You have to give me something to work off of or I’m sending you to be locked up until your trial.”

“But I-”

“I don’t have time for excuses, Mark,” Harper sighs as she stands up. “I’ll see you in a few weeks,” she nods in departure before turning towards the door.

“Wait!” Mark calls out just as Harper’s hand touches the door handle. “I’ll tell you something, but you have to make sure Adam doesn’t kill me.”

“Do you really think he would kill you?”

“I know he would. His daughter killed my son,” Mark murmurs, his eyes drifting down to his hands.

“What?”

“I was telling the truth before. I’ve never seen Alexia in person since she was a little girl, but Adam swore she was alive. And then my son said he’d met her. He told me that they were dating and that things were getting serious. They dated for about a year before he was found dead.”

“Well how do you know that it was Alexia? The real Alexia?”

“It was her mark on the wall where his body was found.”

“The A.W.?”

“Yeah. Adam had told me that he’d been trying to train her. Killing my son, her boyfriend, must have been the first step. But she had strayed away from her father. She’d been robbing those banks and hell did she do a beautiful job with that. I guess her father eventually got to her though.”

“Why are you telling me this if you think Adam would kill you?”

“I’m not like Adam anymore. I used to be when I was younger, but I’m older now, I’m tired, and I lost my son. Do you know what happens to you when you lose a child? The pain is unimaginable. I don’t want to be a part of the gang anymore, and the only way to get out of it other than dying is to get Adam arrested.”

“So you’ll help me catch him? If he really is alive, that is.”

“He is alive. I’ll help you.”

“I’ll postpone your trial until further notice. You’ll have your own cell while you’re locked up here. I’ll come back to visit you in a few days.”

“You won’t regret this.”

“I better not.”

-----

A/N:  Hi everyone! Sorry that it's been almost a month since I last updated, but here is chapter 5!! I hope everyone likes it!! Anyways please please leave a review! The more I get the faster I'll write (and I promise the next chapter will be out sooner that it took for this one to come out!!)! Anyways yes please leave your thoughts down below because I love reading them and it helps me know if people actually enjoy reading my story!!! :)

[thedrakontomes]

                   Losing the Internet You Grew Up With                        

A generation raised online risks forgetting its cultural touchstones, thanks to the whims of the web.

In sixth or seventh grade, my best friend and I were obsessed with a fanfiction called “The Fellowship of the Banana Peel.” It was pretty much what it sounds like—a reimagining of The Lord of the Rings in which the One Ring is replaced by a banana peel. We printed it out and brought it to school in one of those pocketed paper folders, reading it to each other at lunch and between classes. An ongoing bit was that bananas made Elrond sick—“The smell permeates everything,” I remember him saying sadly, repeatedly, throughout the time the Fellowship was at Rivendell.

It was so stupid. It made us so happy. I can’t find it anywhere.

* * *

The Internet is a great facilitator of nostalgia. It remembers the things you’ve forgotten, and with just a little prompting can usually hand you the thing your mind was fumbling for—where do I know that actress from, or what’s that song that goes like “a chicka-cherry cola?” Instagram observes Throwback Thursday; Spotify suggests songs that were popular when you were in high school; there’s a pair of websites whose entire reason for existence is to play a 24-hour stream of old Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network shows from the 90s and 2000s.

But when you grow up with the Internet, inevitably some of the things you’re nostalgic for come from the Internet itself. The popular app Timehop recognizes this, showing the user photos and social media posts from the same date in past years. It’s not so much my tweets from five years ago that I want to revisit, though. It’s watching Teen Girl Squad cartoons on Homestarrunner.com huddled around a screen in the high school computer lab; playing Text Twist and Bubble Spinner in the suite of my college dorm, the cultural touchstones that were as much a part of being young, for me, as listening to Dashboard Confessional and watching The O.C. (And now you know exactly how old I am.)

Those things are still just a Google away. But other relics of Internet past have slipped beyond reach, like the tale of a young hobbit and the smelly banana peel he is fated to carry into Mordor. “The Internet is forever,” they say, often in warning about incriminating photos, but that’s not always true. Websites come and go as the fortunes of companies rise and fall.

Take Quizilla, for example. It was the original bastion of “What Kind of X Are You?” online quizzes (a title now held by BuzzFeed and its imitators, PlayBuzz and the like). And while people did visit the site to find out which Disney princess they were, Quizilla also became an unlikely home for fiction, fan and otherwise. The platform was not really conducive to storytelling—stories were often serialized in that people would post new quizzes for each chapter, which were usually one question long, with the “answer” just a bubble that said “click here.” Then you’d click “Go,” and end up on a results page that might be more story, or might be nothing, to the best of my recollection.

I have to rely on my recollection because Quizilla doesn’t exist anymore. It was acquired by Viacom in 2006, and lived on TeenNick.com for a while, until the site was retired in October 2014, and old Quizilla profiles and quizzes were deleted.

Some of the story quizzes were very popular—in particular, I remember one called “I’m a Girl In An All Boys Boarding School,” or as it was stylized on the site, “I'm a Girl...in an ALL BOYS BOARDING SCHOOL?!?!” It was exactly the kind of Mary Sue-ish adventure you’d imagine; the titular girl the only available object of affection for a school stocked with heterosexual boys. But it was more silly than hot-and-heavy, like if the Amanda Bynes vehicle She’s The Man had been written (without the loosely Shakespearean plot) by a teen, and in 2005, I eagerly read every installment. I don’t have numbers on how many people joined me, but it’s still possible to find forum discussions referencing the story and its author, user youandmeboth.

I was able to find the story using the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine, but while you can read the first portion of each chapter, the quiz mechanism itself is broken, so the part of the story written in the results is forever lost. It seems like a lot of Quizilla’s still-active writers have migrated to the story-sharing website Wattpad. I tried to contact a couple of them to ask how they felt about their community being deleted, but never heard back.

Even if websites don’t disappear, they evolve. (Usually—to my great delight, Homestarrunner.com has been preserved in amber since 2000.) As a young Francophile, in early high school I frequented the chat room on a website called Polyglot, where people from different countries helped each other learn languages. It has since been rebranded “Polyglot Club” and my old account is irretrievable.

That might be for the best—whatever I would find would be embarrassing at best, horrifying at worst. This was the rationale behind deleting my old Xangas. That, and not wanting anyone I know to ever see what I thought was cool to post on the Internet when I was 14.

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I think the same logic might explain the disappearance of "The Fellowship of The Banana Peel." This is my (totally speculative) theory. It was on Fanfiction.net, as I recall, a website that still exists. No amount of searching has turned it up, though I did learn that apparently, if enough time goes by, bananas will figure into Lord of the Rings fanfiction more than once. Whoever wrote the story probably just grew up, got embarrassed, and took it down.

In a way, that’s not the Internet’s fault. But in another way, it is—the paranoia of being searchable can be strong. If someone can find the obscure anime version of Thumbelina she watched as a kid on YouTube, she can probably find your old fanfiction, too.

It’s understandable. I am mostly glad I deleted my old blogs, but I do miss them a little. There was an un-self-consciousness to them that hasn’t existed in my writing since, a freedom of expression that can maybe only bloom in the brief window of adolescence. It might have started with "The Fellowship of the Banana Peel"—it wasn’t long after reading it that my friend and I started writing our own fanfiction. We weren’t worried about who would read it, or how bad it was. It just made us happy.