#sobbing i hate how when i'm physically unwell

[noxtivagus]

this week's gna be so hellish

[an-au-blog]

Trans (ftm)Sanji who absolutely refuses to sleep with Zoro for multiple reasons. They've been together for a while but he never let's them go further than making out. (because i need to post angst more than I need air)

CW: some sexual themes!!!, body dysmorphia, easting disorder, internalized transphobia, mentioned pregnancy, emotional breakdown

Sanji's main concerns were that: 1. Zoro wouldn't want to be with him because he "wasn't a proper man", 2. he'd treat him differently or 3. he would end up pregnant. That probably terrified him the most. Everything about it was horrifying to him: the idea of carrying a living thing in his body appalled him. And even if he lived through it, he was also scared with how the child would turn out. What if it turned out like him, or even worse - like his biological brothers or father, not to mention it could be physically unwell with how much he smoked.

One day, in the heat of the moment making out, Sanji gets carried away and forgets himself. It was only when Zoro started grinding against him that he started getting nervous again. The swordsman broke the kiss and pulled away a bit. "Is something wrong? he asked, I have a feeling this isn't doing anything for you..."

Sanji realized he was talking about not feeling his erection, and he feels like a moron for letting it get to there. On autopilot he answered "I'm fine, I'm a bit under the weather is all" while lighting a cigarette. He walked out ignoring whatever Zoro tried to tell him and as soon as he was out of sight he rand to a secluded area. Thought started flooding him.

He'll think I'm not attracted to him, and then he'll break up with me, and he'll hate me, he'll find out what I am and he'll hate me, even worse - he'll think less of me, that I'm weak and tell everyone and they'll leave me, or worse.

He doesn't know when he had fallen on the ground but he was rocking himself with half a pack already gone. His vision was blurry. He wanted to scream to rip his throat open and let all the painful noises bubbling inside it. But everyone would hear... they would hear and would hate him for not being what he's supposed to... So he stood there, hoping he doesn't catch a cold, muffling his sobs best he can, and wondering why he couldn't die on that Godforsaken rock when he had the chance.

But he didn't have the power over that. What he did have the power over was his own wretched body that caused him so much pain and what he did with it.

He decided from that day on, he was going to reduce his meals in half. If he became thinner maybe what little was left of his breasts would vanish and at least he wouldn't have to wear something to suppress them. So he did. He did it as subtly as possible. But maybe didn't do it as well as he thought. He realized they might be onto him when Luffy of all people offered him some of his food. Sanji declined and lied saying he had a big lunch, so he's not hungry now. But then the next day Zoro approached him to call him out on his bullshit. He would end up pushing him away eventually, maybe if he started being meaner and more standoffish from now, it would seem less of a problem when Zoro leaves him.

Still, Sanji didn't know how to deflect the accusations, so he did what he did best and agitated him best he could. It led to a fight that Sanji lost. Not eating was more draining than he thought. They would usually tie or at least have someone interfere but he was out in less that five minutes. He was weak. As punishment, he decided he would stop eating dinner altogether.

He was good with food. He's known food all his life, and it's the only thing that he feels like he could control. So at least that, he could do.

[lecarouge]

I'm glad to have done my part in the take over lmao but my goood the play fighting with Bachira ending in dry humping is everything to me I'm a big big fan

But Bachira would probably be close to tears, if not crying as he gets after Isagi for kicking you. I could see him (Bachira) being a little distrustful for a minute until he walks in the room, seeing Isagi laying his head on the side of bed they have you resting in. Isagi would have his hand linked with yours, brushing them through his hair like you normally do as he sniffles with red rimmed eyes. He feels so bad, he didn't mean to do it. He just didn't want you to get away and panicked and now you're injured and he's sure you're going to wake up, but you're going to be in so much pain, and it's /his/ fault and he won't blame Bachira if he doesn't ever forgive him.

Ohh I definitely see Isagi being the gaslighting king and being into making you cry. He'll have you sobbing into your hands telling him that you didn't mean it, that they take the best care of you and to "please not tell, Bachi. Please, I don't want him mad at me, I'll do anything." And when you look up at him with glistening eyes, he has to hold back a groan because of how pretty you look. He'd run a thumb across your lips, slowly dragging your bottom lip down before sliding it in your mouth and pressing your tongue down. "Anything?" (He still tells Bachira anyways)

aaa Bachira wiping your tears away, telling you that he forgives you while pulling you into his lap. And imagine the joy he feels when he feels you nod against his neck, promising to not pull any tricks like that again. You need believe that he won't be letting you go for the next week, everywhere he goes, you go.

WHEREVER HE GOES YOU GO!!

He is soo clingy and hates to see you get hurt. If you have a stray bruise or random cut on your finger he is making such a big fuss over it and a show of kissing it better.

Now that has me thinking about when you’re obedient and sweet they can both be so normal. Like, they make you laugh and cook for you. All three of you, cuddled up on the couch watching a dumb horror movie (one of them is braiding your hair) Bachira likes to spoil you! he gets soo happy when you’re good and let him. (just don’t mention someone from your old life, or missing your job, or about wanting to go anywhere on your own) he will switch up on you so fast.

i love what you said about Bachira needing eye contact. If your attention is on Isagi for too long he gets pouty and whiny and will physically insert himself into your space. Isagi is his best friend, the person he’s most comfortable with (after you, of course) so he’s not shy at all about sloppily kissing you in front of him if you’re not paying him enough attention. (Isagi will call him a brat, but, he loves to watch.)

Side note Bachira definitely makes you stare into his eyes while you cum i’m unwell.

[v1ll1anousblackhat]

What the hell is going on?!.. cruelest dream reality!!

Only TW is alcohol anddd Panic Attacks, Mentions of insecurities-?

ENJOY SU1C1DAL PR1NC3SS </333333

Tai sat Infront of their nightstand, Infront of their mirror as they kept sobbing their heart out, Tai felt horrible- and ugly. Which was literally the worst feeling for them since they hated feeling ugly anyways, as well as feeling physically unwell because of their little hangover, They were crying so hard, Shaky, shallow breathing, loud coughing, and gagging was heard coming from their room, which was so loud they heard someone slowly open their door which made them flinch, and lift their head up a little bit while their hand was gripping onto their left eye. "D-dont look at me!!--- I--I'm so…fucking ugly." Tai mumbled between sobs, which was then accompanied by a loud cough. It was two boys one with long curly hair with a black shirt printed with a blood-stained heart and always holds a blush face- on his right.... A fluffed haired brown-haired boy with a grey mask covering his face and steampunk goggles with a striped sweater and his hatchets attached to his belts. "Tai- Dearie-! what are you doing in here all alone you look terrible-!" John doe sounded so very worried he cupped her face and gently wiped her tears and Toby...The hatchet boy who's usually a very numb person and doesn't know how to confront someone who is crying just stood there and rubbed his arm "T-Tai....W-what's going on?" Tai sniffled and sunk her face into her knees ... The two boys looked at each other and then back at the sad girl..."T-Tai...don't be t-this way you can t-tell us anything...y-ya k-know..." Toby put a hand on her shoulder trying his best to show he cares and wants to comfort her...Tai finally after a few minutes positioned herself up "May we sit with you love?" John doe asked. The hungover mess of a girl nodded her head in response and the two boys sat down each side by side to Tai back against the wall. Tai was still seated in their chair, trying to steady their breathing the best they can, but all that could come out were erratic breaths and coughs. Tai breathed heavily as they were still grabbing onto their eye for dear life. It literally took the life out of Tai just to be able to speak again, "...I'm never drinking again-- ever again. I just...I just want to......maybe have something I could finally enjoy for once in my life" Tai said as their voice slightly cracked, even when they sat in a different position, and calmed down just a tiny bit, no matter what Tai always covered their eye and looked down at the floor. This odd behavior- and What Tai said confused both of the boys, they looked at each other dumbfounded for a minute. "Darling- uhm-" Doe gave a quite awkward but reassuring smile and asked. "Why do you keep covering your eye?" Tai closed both of them and mumbled. "Uh- what was that dear- I couldn't hear you?" Tai snapped "my eye looks so fucked up-! it's so ugly and fucking...sloppy.... I look so fucked up right now and I hate how disgusting I am-!! I hate this feeling of disgust I just want to fucking K!ll mys3lf!" John Doe & Toby immediately hugged Tai after she shouted that. Tai's eyes got watery again. Toby sighed and dug into his pockets and pulled out a bondage eye patch he only had one just in case of major injury during his k1ll1ng. . "Uh y-yeah h-have this..." Toby gently moves Tais bangs from her face which did make her tummy have butterflies, but she tried to prevent herself from smiling.

Toby gently placed the eye patch on her hungover eye "W-wa la-!" Tobg cheered John doe gave Tai a friendly kiss on the cheek before saying "You look lovely Tai! Go look in the mirror" "o-oh okay-" Tai carfully got up and looked up at her self through her bedroom mirror-- She looked....genrally pretty...she liked herself for once "you know what- I don't actually look thst bad- maybe I don't feel so gross after all-" A big grin flashed upon Tai's face as she looked at her two guy friends "Thanks Toby and Doe.. Idk what'd I honestly do without you two..." The three went off in the night to fuck around and Tao never felt better about herself and ...everything... she felt genrally free when she felt the cool midnight air touch her face and the moon smiling at her it was all so beautiful she closed her eyes and embraced all of it. . . The End <3