#some of these are months old i'm so sorry Dx

[kwillow]

Ambroys basking in his cache of gifts and sweet words from secret admirers. Gotta be careful, though. If his ego is inflated any more, he'll pop.

(I wanted to doodle something to accompany a post answering some messages regarding this candy-colored cad but got a bit carried away. :P Well regardless, asks under the cut!)

Why thank you! He would drunkenly insult people, though he tends to be more passive-aggressive and backhanded rather than outright insulting - well, most of the time, anyway. He thinks he's a lot more subtle in his derogatory comments than he actually is.

Aaaw, this is too sweet!

Older Ambroys is much more reserved about seeking and accepting physical affection than his younger self, for myriad reasons (that one day I will expound upon in more detail, fate willing). He still enjoys it, though.

He's still proud of the stars on his cheeks and the gold in his hair and all that, but the signs of age are something he is not at peace with. For some, like the wrinkles, they're a sign that his time on this earth is finite - and death terrifies him. For others, like his paunch, it's more just embarrassing to him in a more mundane and vain "I was voted Prom King in high school and I was on the Varsity track team now look at me I'm an old man boo hoo hoo" type of way (though he's actually more physically adept in his older age than he was when he was younger for Magical Heritage Bullshit reasons, the sentiment remains).

As for your question, it's totally fine with me for Ambroys to be portrayed as non-heterosexual in fanfic or fanart or one's secret imaginings. Even though all of his "canon" love interests are women, I wouldn't rule out of the possibility of him developing affections for someone who isn't a woman. Chase your bliss!

Haha well both furry and aasimar Ambroys would bask in the attention, though poor aasimar Ambroys' jealousy is not going to be helped!

No shame on being a furry though. I didn't consider myself one either but I feel like it's harder to make the argument that I'm not given the sheer number of ponies I've drawn by now...

He would accept this, so long as you don't mess up his hair.

He would say: "good!" I would say "don't waste your life on him!"

Oh he would be pleased to be so distracting, I'm sure.

And sometimes we can't help but to have a type... I know I seem to have a thing for rich effete douchebags with buck teeth and big pointy noses... not quite sure what's up with that.

Yessss... yesssssssss... or perhaps I should say "I'm sorry."

I didn't mean to make him this way... I guess I underestimated the power of a brushable mane.

Ambroys DOES like being worshipped (way too much and way too literally, as you might be able to tell) but he wants to have his imperfections hidden if he can!

He's just horribly, horribly vain and unwilling to let go of his youth... even though he got to enjoy being youthful for three times as long as a mortal would.

YES that song is on his playlist (which I have for all my main characters because I'm a dork). It's just too perfect. One of the many ideas on my miles-long to do list has to do with depicting a scene from that song. The trouble is that it has to do with dancing, and boy am I not very good at drawing dancing poses. xD Oh well, gotta try for the boy!

Heh well I think we could agree that a normal horse probably couldn't pull off the breeches he wears quite so well... I'm flattered that you think of him when you see horsies in the flesh! Huzzah, I've ruined one of the Earth's beautiful creatures for you! >:)

Oh wow, my guy is stepping out of my brain and into other people's subconsciouses... I need to put a leash on him. :P But this was a fun read!

It's very in character Ambroys to try to undercut a rival's self-esteem by framing it as something OTHER people say, but oh no, he'd NEVER say something like that, of course. Mean girl behavior. He does have friends that don't actually like him - and he doesn't like them either. But one needs to have friends for appearance's sake - just one more accessory, really!

OKAY, I think that's everything! Or at least enough for this post, ahah.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words on my not-so-kind character.

Unlike him, I'm really humbled and grateful by the positive reception he's received. I deeply appreciate your kind messages... even when it takes me eons to reply to them, gah.

[kanzakurawrites]

Random Thoughts I Had While Rewatching Wicked World S1:

(yes I am fully aware its a kids show with limited time but I will still yell about things XD)

They REALLY had to make Mall's eyes gray? brown? seems to change but still, her eyes are GREEN

"At my birthday parties" You had ONE birthday party Evie. One.

And evil minion bakers? Really?

Wait, so Miss "Give Your Spellbook to the Museum" D2 Evie is here, sixish months before or whatever the timeline in, begging Mal to use magic to help her?

Why is Evie so shallow in this?

WHY IS SHE SO DITZY? Stop, Evie would know not to eat chemicals DX (Actually, I bet most Isle kids would know that)

WHAT IS BEN'S OUTFIT! None of that goes together. Bring his suit back. Or goodness gracious, why not a simple button down and slacks? Blue and black. What is this?

pffft, Ak's making up words

so Audrey also has a single dorm.

It took Jane FOURTEEN YEARS to realize she has magic? No, I refuse.

at least Audrey and Ben are still friends

Seriously, there is no timeline in this world

Sustainable urban planning. You know, for someone who wanted nothing to do with the Isle in D2, Evie sure is invested in making it a better place

"Thanks to my dad" *gasp* Is Ben throwing shade at his father

I'm sorry, I can not get behind Aurora's daughter afraid of some mud

The fact that Mal loves it is hilarious

I wonder when Evie finally donated her mirror

I know that a lot of people headcanon Freddie and Uma being sisters since China voiced Freddie, but tbh I think it would be interesting if they're cousins.

(Yes i like the hc, I just have Uma's dad as someone else and then came up with the cousins thing XD)

"retract your claws" "But I just had them sharpened!"

Seriously, yo mama battles?

So how old IS CJ? I'm guessing 13 or 14, but they almost imply she's around Mal's age... but unless she and Harry have different mom's that doesn't work.

Jordan, WHY are you doing a southern belle accent?

I want to see Beast's funny birthday dance

a two hour exam on SMILING?

so it definitely seems canon that the VKs were dragged online, and always end up on there even if they had no clue their pictures were being taken. Could factor into Mal's D2 transformation and breakdown

are we SURE this is the same Lonnie in the movies?

The fact that the Auradon Girls are singing "Good is the New Bad"

so whatever happened with this whole cheerleading thing for Evie and Mal

That doesn't sound like Jay either!

"You lied to keep him from bugging you" I like this Ben

But Evie WASN'T AROUND WHEN YOU WERE KIDS

HOW does Carlos speak dog? This makes no sense

the fact that Audrey is hanging out in Evie and Mal's room

I am getting fed up with all the made up words

I wonder how many people just randomly brush Ruby's hair

"I want to go from the one who lost the crown to the one who won!" Highly doubt that was intended to be D3 foreshadowing, but it makes good foreshadowing

The fact that they are fighting over the color of purple Mal wears

And here's Jane, accusing Mal of stealing

The fact that everyone keeps accusing Mal of things. Seriously, no wonder the poor girl thought she had to change her appearance and herself to the point of breaking down

but why didn't she TALK TO BEN

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Jay still struggles with stealing sometimes. Same for even Aladdin and Eugene.

Mal being so supportive of Jane is adorable

The fact that Jane is still suspicious of the VK's

They're accusing her of KIDNAPPING her own BOYFRIEND

and WHERE IS THE SECURITY?! THE HIGH KING IS THERE! AND OTHER ROYAL CHILDREN

#thisisnotmyLonnie

CJ liking Mal is interesting considering how Harry feels about her.

[maifandom]

Fifteen Years Later...

15 years ago today, ATLA's finale aired. In commemoration, I dredged up my initial reaction to the finale, which I posted in the shipping thread of ye olde AvatarSpirit.net's forum. Consequently it's very shipping-focused and includes a billion portmanteaus. But it's the closest thing I have to a liveblog for ATLA, and I love nostalgia.

A little context, first. I found Avatar through Zutara fanart at the end of 2007 and caught up on all the existing episodes in probably January 2008? Disappointed that Kataang was so obvious, I turned to Sokka ships and decided I liked Tokka best. I lurked in the fandom for a few months, joined the forum shortly before everyone found out that the Boiling Rock was going to get a DVD release on May 6, two months before it actually aired on TV. I spent a lot of downtime debating the merits of Tokka and making predictions about the show based on random commercials and then the finale trailer. On the shipping side of things, my reaction was kinda negative. I was increasingly disappointed leading up to the finale. Don't worry, it gets better.

Brackets indicate present day edits or comments.

[Begin finale reaction]

OH MAN, WHERE TO START? [...] I guess I'll start from the beginning.

Zumo! ♥

Harutara, ahahahaha.

Nylappa! ♥♥♥ (Ahahaha.)

Irko reunion! ;_; Oh man, I cried. xD

Maiko reunion. xD Seriously, Zuko's eyes. Zudorko. ♥

Okay, I guess it's time for Sutokka stuff, right?

Sukka... were practically glued together. Seriously. And I'm sorry, much as I try to be unbiased, I just really didn't like it. D: There were moments. Mere moments, like back before I had a particular bias. I don't truly dislike it, but when it's so constant and final it's hard to ignore.

It made Tokka moments hard to come by. Or in fact, many other character interactions. Sokka was seriously obsessed. @_@

Did anyone else notice the only time we got Tokka moments was when they were separated from Suki? Dx Aside from the Tokka hand-leading seconds previous. I dunno. I suppose I should be thankful that they made a point of including Tokka. But much as I ADORE this scene:

[Image - probably Sokka covering Toph from debris]

*Insert fangirl scream that gets cut off*

...well it didn't really lead to anything else. ;_;

See, I wanted angst! And drama! And depth! And at least someone acknowledging it. ANYONE.

Frankly, I hated the apparent Toph x everyone-ness. [Zuko, The Duke, and...?] I'm fine with those ships. In fact, I ship more than one of them. But when they're all there? That just says Toph is fickle or childish, to me. D:

I would have liked it better if Tokka was never a romantic ship. Or if we were shown Toph was boy-crazy from the beginning -- with Taang, or some random one-shot character. Why did they save it all for the finale?

But I don't think that's necessarily what's happening. (Reminder to self: don't listen to every conclusion the fandom comes to. >.>) In which case, we still have Tokka disappearing as if it never happened, and Toph doesn't care one iota.

Apparently I came in at just the right time to stew in all the Tokkaness, come to all these conclusions, and then have pretty much everything I ever thought about Tokka or Sutokka be completely undermined. :P

I get the sense that M & B were looking over my shoulder at the things I listed that I didn't want to happen with Tokka, and thought it was a recommendation. :P

However, much as I must seem to be ranting, I'm far more apathetic than angry. Some of that fan depression I had after I watched EIP -- I got this sense I lost my favorite characters, because what I thought was there no longer was. D: [Particularly the way Sokka is characterized, since he's my favorite.]

So, oddly enough, the Sutokka plotline was probably the one I was least interested in, except in with glimmers of hope that those characters I loved might come back. (And they did. Some.)

But, oh man, you should have heard my breathing when Toph got in her metal armor. :P Sutokka got some of the best action EVER.

Wait a second. Pretty much EVERY moment in the finale that had action in it was better than everything else in the whole series. Where can I begin?

[I rambled about staying on topic.]

Except... Crazula? Seriously, I can't say enough how astdirl,dtbmortsnehjAMAZING Crazula was. AZULA, where did you GO? ;_;

And the Kazuko [platonic Zutara] was better. :D

Okay, I'm still not done.

Kataang?

Yeah, it's okay. (Best in EIP.) [Eh???]

Remember the Kataang commercial?

"I won't let him fight alone?" :P

I find it highly ironic that Katara was on ANOTHER CONTINENT THE WHOLE TIME.

Heh. Oh, well. I'll just pretend there's a little extra Kataang in there more along the lines of EIP. ^_^ And then I might be able to say I officially like Kataang, or something.

[End finale reaction]

Years later, I'm rather bemused by some of my thoughts. My disappointment in Tokka makes sense, since they would be so awesome. :P During ATLA, I assumed that shipping details were done very purposefully and would lead somewhere, even if it was just a character arc. After watching LOK, I came to understand better how the writers used shipping more for fun, especially with secondary characters. Part of the magic of shipping or just being in a fandom in general is the fans' imagination. I've been (more or less) happy to continue Tokka using my imagination. I can even imagine contradictory scenarios - angsty, happily ever after, silly, serious - so it really doesn't matter what happened in canon after ATLA.

I don't think Toph was boy crazy, but I do think Sokka will forever care about her well-being. Nowadays Sokka, Suki, and Toph's side plot might be my favorite plotline in the last two episodes, but it's really hard to choose. The Agni Kai is beautiful, the Old Masters are powerful, and Aang's battle against Ozai is intense and important.

My original thoughts on Kataang are really weird to me now. I think I finally warmed up to them a couple years later. I'm not sure what I thought was so good about them in EIP - maybe the fact they actually talked a bit about their relationship? But watching Aang kiss her prematurely is so cringy to me now, and like many I would have liked some sort of interaction before they kissed in the final moments. But I can enjoy it now!

I might dredge up more old posts from the days of great debates, or try to find my first impressions of a few more episodes. (I know I've always loved the Boiling Rock.) Let me know if that's of interest!

In other news, Kataang week is next week, and I am plotting to participate for once.

Now... back to drawing!

[tomboyjessie13]

Last Train Home ~Medea's Lullaby~

(Warning: Huge spoilers to "Stardust Crusaders")

~Train to Cairo - January 1989~

Kakyoin and Medea are discharged from the Hospital in Aswan after having their injuries healed by the Speedwagon Foundation, they're catching up with the others at Cairo by Sleeper train. They're both in the train's dining car.

Kakyoin: *Checking his eye scars on a spoon* Looks like they're never going away, how am I gonna explain this to my parents?

Medea: They'll understand, you guys just have to come up with an excuse. *Turning on Kakyoin's walkman*

Kakyoin: *Looks over and sees the tape inside the walkman* "Pat Metheny Group"? I don't remember owning that tape.

Medea: I bought it, it was on sale at the Khan el-Khalili two months ago and I wanted a listen, their music's alright. *Puts on one earbud*

Kakyoin: Can I listen?

Medea: Sure, it's your walkman. *Gives him another earbud*

Both: *Listening to it's music, soon "Last Train Home" begins to play*

Medea: *Mumbling along to the melody*♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭

Kakyoin: Sorry?

Medea: *Stops mumbling* Oh uh, I've uh been making up lyrics for it, don't know what'll be for though.... It's weird, I know.

Kakyoin: It's fine....

~Cairo, Hotel room - January 1989~

Everyone inside the room having dinner in the room, except for Medea and Iggy, she's sitting criss cross on a chair outside on the balcony while watching the sunset by the Pyramids over the horizon, an injured Iggy was sleeping on her lap.

Medea: *Petting Iggy*.......*Starts singing* ♬​​​​​​​This long journey's approaching its end, we have come so far, well done my friend....We're nearly there, so please don't despair...I promise you, you're not alone. I want all of you on the last train home♬

Kakyoin: *By the doorway* Nice lyrics.

Medea: *Startled, waking up Iggy* AH! OH! Oh, it's you. *Gently sets Iggy down on, he wobbles inside*

Kakyoin: So you finally found inspiration for the music?

Medea: *Looking away, blushing* Maaaaaaaybe.

Kakyoin: It's about us isn't it?

Medea: What's your point? >_>

Kakyoin: Admit it, you like us. >:-3

Medea: *Pushes his face* Screw off, Cherry boy! DX

Kakyoin: Hahahahaha! XD

Joseph: What's going on out there?

Medea: Nothing, ya old goat! Shove some food in your big fat mouth!

~Cairo, the next night - January 1989~

Half of the city is in total shambles, innocent civilians killed senselessly, lots of property damage, just all around chaos caused by the wicked Vampire, DIO.

But worst of all; Avdol and Iggy got killed prior to the madness, and Kakyoin's bleeding out after getting punched through the stomach by [The World] into a water tower, slowly dying. While DIO is busy chasing Joseph across the city, Medea hastily climbed up the building with her Stand to the shattered water tower.

Medea: *Climbing and panting* Kakyoin!...Hah...hah...Kakyoin! *Climbs up to the rooftop, seeing Kakyoin hanging helplessly from the tower.* Hah...hah...[FLOGGING MOLLY]! *They go to take his body out of the tower, carrying him to Medea bridal style, she got on her knees as they put him down on the roof in front of Medea. She cradles his head and shoulders as he lies limp* ...Oh god... *Sees the hole in his stomach and panics in horror* Avdol, Iggy, now you!? This is all my fault, all of this happened because of me!

Kakyoin: *Looks up at Medea weakly*

Medea: ???

[Hierophant Green]/Kakyoin: *Using his Stand to communicate in a hoarse voice*..... Don't... blame yourself... I knew... what I was getting into...

Medea: But...

[Hierophant Green]/Kakyoin: I don't have much time left...I'm using the last of my strength to communicate like this...

Medea: *Freaking out* Oh my god, we need to call the SPW! Maybe they can-

[Hierophant Green]/Kakyoin: *Cups her face weakly* It's a fatal wound...They won't be able to fix this...

Medea: *She grabs his hand* You can't die! You just can't die! You were supposed to return home safely! You were supposed to tell the others about [The World]! *Sobbing*

[Hierophant Green]/Kakyoin: ...I know... please... stay with me until...

Medea: *Nods*..... *Singing while crying* ♬​​​​​​​N-now's the time for us all to take a stand, as our footprints fade away into the sand... *Sniffles*

Kakyoin: *He smiles while listening* .....*His Stand slowly fades away as the light leaves his eyes, soon he closes them* ......

Medea: ♬We will not forget what happened here...as we head into the great unknown... I...I need all of you on... the last train... home♬

Kakyoin: ...... *His hand goes limp and his body went cold, he has died her arms.*

Medea: ....Noriaki?....Noriaki!.......... *She moves his hair to kiss his forehead, tears start to spill out onto his face, she finally breaks down sobbing as she hugs his lifeless body* ...Noriaki..... *Screaming in anger and grief* DIOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! MURDEREEER!!!!!!! MURDEREEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!.....

~Budogaoka General Hospital, Morioh - June 1994~

Medea: *Sitting upright in bed in a fetal position, tired* ............

Doctor: Tachibana... Tachibana... TACHIBANA!

Medea: *Snaps out of it* Huh?

Doctor: Is everything alright? You kinda spaced out there.

Medea: Y-yeah, I was just thinking.

Doctor: Alright, *goes to the door* although I'm gonna have to send a nurse in to keep an eye on you until your husband arrives, y'know to make sure you don't do anything reckless here.

Medea: Understandable... *Doctor leaves the room* ........ *hears a baby crying* Hm? *Sees hospital crib in the room*..... *Slowly gets out of bed and walks to the crib* .....*looks over to see a crying baby girl in there* Shuuuuuu... it's ok, mommy's here. *Picks her up and takes her back to bed, sitting in a criss-cross postion* .... *Sings* ♬​​​​​​​This long journey's approaching its end, we have come so far, well done my friend....We're nearly there, so please don't despair...I promise you, you're not alone. I want all of you on the last train home♬

Baby: *Starts calming down in her arms*

Medea: ♬​​​​​​​Now's the time for us all to take a stand, as our footprints fade away into the sand... We will not forget what happened here, as we head into the great unknown...I need all of you on the last train home♬

Baby: *Falls asleep in her arms*

Medea: *Smiles* ...Sweet dreams, Noriko...

~End~

The Lyrics actually came from MasakoX's cover of the song under the same name, just for fun.

[lailuhhh]

my experience is that you enlist for 4 years at a time (usually with a 4 year commitment to the reserves after that.) Occasionally, and this is happening more in recent years, I've seen and heard of 2 or 3 year enlistments. Between BCT, AIT and EOD it's about 50+ weeks of training. A deployment is anywhere from 6-15 months with time at home in between. Where does it say that Mac was on his third deployment when he met Jack?

In 1x06 Wrench no exact years are used, but Mac is at the EOD training grounds with Pena "6 years ago" which makes it 2010. (since the episode aired in 2016) Pena is killed "5 Years Ago" making it 2011. In 3x06 the date is given 6/27/2011. The day of 1000 IEDs was (according to 3x06) two weeks before Pena's death. In that episode Mac says he'd only been in country for 3 months prior to Pena's death. He meets Jack in 2011. Jack says Mac "got his training officer killed." Training officers aren't often deploying to Afghanistan since their roles are to teach and train. The implication that Mac was working in country with his training officer means he hasn't had multiple deployments at this point. (and he flat out wouldn't have had time if he was in EOD training in 2010)

In the pilot Mac says he spent "three years defusing bombs for the military" and while technically his time shouldn't "count" until he graduates BCT, AIT, and EOD I'm thinking for ease of explanation he is counting those years since his first mission with DXS in Jakarta (3x12 Mac + Fallout + Jack) takes place in 2012. Either way, the minimum enlisted age is 17 with parental consent, which gets fuzzy because who had custody over Mac? Someone needs to have guardianship. It's possible he's emancipated but that too gets complicated. But we avoid that issue by having Mac enlist around 2009-2010ish according to the years given to us in the show.

Who is paying for MIT? a 17 year old can't sign for a loan. There are very very few "full rides" unless James made some kind of fake endowment or scholarship program and awarded it to Mac. Perhaps he tasked an underling with that, but it seems unlikely he went through that much effort. I'm sorry, no school anywhere is letting a 6 year old into fifth grade. Schools are reluctant to let kids skip a single grade, and even though I can see James being an ass about it, I don't think he'd intervene. He'd want Mac to skip based on "merit" not because he went down to the school and threw a temper tantrum. Again, it would be too much effort on James part. the fifth grade teacher is not prepared for the lack of fine motor skills or emotional maturity of a six year old suddenly in their class. Even if Mac is smart enough to skip, there are a lot of social skills and motor skills that are developed in early grades. Even a "young" first grader need more help with things like holding a pencil or using scissors than a "older" first grader. (ie think a first grader who turned six in July prior to school starting versus a first grader who is going to turn 7 just a few weeks after school starts. Those nine months have an enormous difference)

So many he skips one grade. Maybe he graduates early after taking extra classes. Maybe he even starts taking college credits in high school. He's probably not much more than a year or depending on birthdays twoish younger than bozer. But still young enough to be a younger brother. still potentially the same age as Josh would have been.

The MacGyver canon timeline is pretty shit though. They can't keep anything straight. Mac says the KGB was disbanded before he was born so he should actually have a birthday in 1992!

[cosmic-latt3]

new pinned

Quartz, 30, genderqueer woman, queer, any pronouns

minors DNI as I will not be censoring myself on my own blog. unfortunately can get kind of horny on main, sorry!

current hyperfixation: Ghost (the band)

Autistic, adhd, dyspraxia, various other psych dx, neurodivergent, mad, HSD, POTS

Psychiatric abuse and institutionalization survivor

Aesthetics I like: old web, old tech, glitch, 90s-2000s, goth, emo, punk, rainbow

Animals I like: Birds (especially crows), foxes, bats, horseshoe crabs

Other comfort/sensory items: crystals, flowers, candles, plushies, stim toys

I also really like art, especially paintings. I struggle to create my own because of dyspraxia, fatigue, and executive function but I love it.

I go out of my way to reblog some of these more then others, but will reblog them if I see them. Ideally I keep a month's worth of posts in the queue and shuffle them frequently so if I reblog an older post of yours that's why.

Also I'm sorry but I can't write image descriptions most of the time, my brain just doesn't process visual stimuli like that. I don't usually boost things or reblog informational posts unless it's for my own future reference NOT because I don't care but because I have a very low follower count. If I were to get a bunch of followers that would change.

[tocautiouslygo]

About

Hi! I'm Jay. I'm a 23 year old disabled queer nonhuman from the UK. Please don't gender me or call me human. Also, please avoid ableist language on my posts.

This blog is firmly in support of the liberation of marginalised people and against capitalism.

I'm tired and I have no patience for amatonormativity in fandom.

DNI if: you're a TERF, you police the terms other people use for their own genders/sexualities/disabilities/neurodivergence (for example: exclusionists, transmeds, anti self dx), you don't support BLM, you don't support bodily autonomy (anti abortion, swerfs, anti medication (including self medication)), you don't support otherkin/alterhumans.

More detailed "about this blog" under the cut. (You don't have to read any further if you don't want!) (Also some of this is a little out of date. I'm hoping to get around to making an updated version sometime soon.)

I post almost exclusively about Star Trek. All series are represented here, in vastly unequal amounts. Kirk/Spock is my OTP, although I've been Thinking About Q (and especially Q/Picard) nonstop for the last few months. Any time I reblog something about Data you can assume I'm making the heart eyes emoji at my screen. There's the occasional positivity and awareness post in here as well.

Current spoiler policy is to tag everything from an episode for 1 week after it airs and tag major plot points for 1 month after the end of the season.

If there's anything I can do to make my blog more accessible to you, please tell me. I try to tag common triggers, as well as things like sarcasm and misinformation. Please let me know if you'd like something tagging. I try to only reblog videos with captions or transcripts. I describe every image I post myself, but I may reblog undescribed images. Sorry about that. I'm always happy to clarify the meaning of anything I say, explain jokes, and so on.

I'm trying my best to unlearn white supremacy (full disclosure: I'm white), ableism, and everything else that upholds systemic oppression. I appreciate callouts if I mess up.

Feel free to look back through my blog! Everything is tagged by series, character, ship (usually tagged in character/character format), and some other idiosyncratic tags that I'll let you discover on your own.

You can find me elsewhere on the internet here:

Sideblog for non-trek stuff that doesn't fit here: @cakefordogs

Zero Escape sideblog (mostly inactive): @queer-funyarinpa

Murderbot sideblog: [currently password protected and inactive - if you know me from that fandom and want to look through the archive feel free to ask for the password]

AO3: tocautiouslygo

Non-fanfic writing (mostly poetry, some microfiction, maybe essays in the future): write.as/cakefordogs

[yona-chan]

*claps hands together* Suuuper tough question here anon, because everyone experiences love (in its different forms) in very different ways.

This being said, I personally do think that Yona was in love with Soo-Won before the events of her 16th birthday. I say this because she honestly seemed interested in him as a person, regarded him highly, and saw a future with him as something that would make her incredibly happy. Her memories with him were also positive, and she considered him a person who had always been there to support her: a kind and caring individual, and a good leader. This is why his betrayal hit her so hard, because it shattered all of those thoughts she had believed for such a long time. Her new thoughts on him after this is also why I think she definitely stopped loving him in a romantic sense soon after that night. (If you want a more detailed opinion on this change in her feelings, please check out my Hairpins and Kings rant.)

Now, you point out that Yona has expressed feelings for Hak in a different way than she did towards Soo-Won, and that some people may interpret this as her never having truly loved Soo-Won. I... would disagree with people who say this. An obvious point to make is that we experience love differently with different people due to individual personalities, but if we dive a little deeper I think that Yona’s way of expressing and feeling love changes because she herself changes. What I mean by this is that Yona loved Soo-Won while she was very much a naive princess looking for her “prince charming”. Her way of expressing love was shaped by her environment: gotta look pretty and woo the prince, gotta be the lady who’s well accomplished and would make a good wife. And I don’t think this was Yona not being herself or something. At the time this was likely just the type of lifestyle Yona was surrounded by and believed in. Due to this, her massive change in lifestyle after Soo-Won’s betrayal changed the way she would approach love, and Hak as a person. Hak isn’t Soo-Won, and Yona’s no longer this naive princess. There’s a whole array of ways the two can interact that couldn’t happen before (Hak teaching Yona to fight, for instance) and this change brings out different facets of both their personalities, and new feelings that form from this. The old Yona and the new Yona are completely different people who experience the world (and therefore love) differently. As such, trying to compare and weigh up the love Yona had for Soo-Won versus Hak in my mind is likely an impossible task. They’re just such different situations and emotions, but I don’t think that makes either of these loves any less than true, even if Yona has moved on from loving Soo-Won romantically. 

[missskzbiased]

Oh no I'm so sorry you are going through all that T^T

I honestly relate, cause I'm also dealing with a lot, and can't say it's all better, but I'm also not as shitty as I was some weeks or months ago.

Anyways I'm sure you can get through this! I'm with you, sweetheart <3

And don't worry about taking your time, alright? Just make sure you rest and eat enough, and be healthy, especially in these times :')

About tags, don't worry about it! I also forget some tags, having been on a hiatus for months Dx I think it has something to do with soulmates, though '-')a

In any case I'm so happy you still remember me! I was thinking that maybe I've been such a bad friend and you'd forget, so thank you! Please know that I really treasure you and you can come to me and talk about anything if you want, now that I'm back ^_^

*even moar hugssss*

Life sucks Ç.Ç

And that's pretty much it. There's a lot going on, and my mind can't keep up with everything but I'm trying sauhhsuauhsahusa It's going way better than I expected, tbh. At least I'm not having any anxiety attacks for now, even though I know I'm kinda on edge sometimes.

I take it as a victory.

Knowing that you're feeling better is relieving too! I'm glad you took that time to yourself, since it seems to do you good! And thank you, bubs Ç.Ç <333 I'm here too~~

Can't promise being healthy SAUHSHUAUHSAUHSAUHS

YES IT DID! You're right. Soulmate besties~~ I'll search for my tags SUHAUHSAHUSAUH I have to know it

Of course I would remember you! I wouldn't forget my soulmate, wtf! Also, we promised to eat cookies and be on that cool chair for old people that I can't recall the name right now LOL.

ACTUALLY, I so didn't forget you that recently I was unfollowing some blogs 'cause they were inactive for a long time and I didn't know if they were going to come back. And I looked at your name and hoped you might come back, and didn't want to unfollow. I'm glad I didn't~ It's kinda funny too 'cause it has been I don't know... Maybe 2 weeks or something? It wasn't too long ago! I feel like a psychic now sahusahusauhuhsa

You're not a bad friend!

You have the right to take your time when you need, and I was also aware that you weren't feeling well at the time, so I assumed you just needed it. That's nothing wrong with that!

OH

SPEAKING OF TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING, LOOK: ✨😩🥺👀😎💖👁👄

I have emojis now~

[incorrect-ft-ez-quotes]

Hi! I'm normally way too shy to send in asks, but I just wanted to say that I love your blog! I've been subscribed to your YouTube channel for a little over a year now and honestly only found out you run this blog because you mentioned it in a video once I just wanted to let you know that I love what you do both on YouTube and Tumblr and your content often makes me laugh or smile :) I wasn't able to watch your last few livestreams but i hope to be there to chat in the next one Happy birthday! :D

For some reason tumblr decided not to show me this at all and now I feel bad, this over a month old DX I am so sorry Anon and I shall take all the love and compliments you gave me to heart!

[butterflyinthewell]

Why do some autistic people think that because my mom never bothered to see if I /was/ autistic as a kid and is pretty sure I'm autistic, and I'm just now finding out about all these things that point to me being autistic, my self dx isn't valid? Oh no look at that train wreck of a sentence whoops. Anyways, it /is/ pretty likely that I'm autistic but being mostly nonverbal doesn't help with getting a professional diagnosis. I'm not really sure if I made sense.

You’re valid. Your mom ignoring that you’re pretty much nonverbal is pretty gross of her.

I still think a lot of this pro vs self dx would go away if people didn’t say whether they were pro or self dx’ed, but that’s just me talking through my butt because buttholes are like opinions and we all have one. Wait a minute! Strike that, reverse it. (Old farts like me will get that textual echolalia. Another clue: Everlasting gobstoppers!)

Okay, okay, getting serious now.

I dunno how to answer this without pissing everyone off, so I’m just gonna say it. I’m already scared to death that I made people mad, so a little more won’t make a difference.

I think some autistic people with pro dx’s went through a long diagnostic process to get that piece of paper that says Officially Autistic™ in order to access resources and accommodations. I know I did, but I don’t remember much of it because my brain has this annoying tendency to discard the memories of things I didn’t deem important to remember at the time. I didn’t know what I was being assessed for or why at the time. I just know it was long and boring.

The assumption is people who self dx look at a website, take a brief survey and decide they’re autistic. That’s not the case. It may take months of looking at various resources. I totally would’ve self dx’ed my own autism if I had today’s information about it back when I was 10 years old.

So pro dx’ed people see somebody saying they’re autistic without all that diagnostic stuff behind them and cry fake for reasons that (to me) sound very similar to non-disabled people who think accommodations for disabled people equates “special treatment”. Maybe they think accommodations and stuff have to be “earned” via a pro dx. 

And they forget that a person without an Official Autistic™ piece of paper may not have access to mental health care, medicines, accommodations, etc. that pro dx’ed people may have, and community may be all self dx’ed people have access to for support.

Another thing I see is pro dx’ed people say self dx people act like autism is some cute and quirky thing that makes them slightly awkward socially…and that’s a screwed up mentality right there. I’m pro dx’ed and I think some of my traits are cute and quirky, BUT I also know I have some that are serious, ugly and painful. Some self dx’ed people may not want to detail their “scary side” on the internet and it’s okay if they don’t. 

I’ve noticed that many of the people who make that “you’re trivializing autism / you make ‘real’ autistic people look bad” accusation are people who hate their own autism and think everybody who doesn’t hate being autistic is trivializing it. 

The “self dx snowflakes make all diagnosed autistic people look bad” crowd doesn’t realize they’re being part of the problem they claim to fight against. Lateral ableism is still ableism and it’s very real. 

It’s not fair to judge an entire group based on individuals. Some people are autistic and have traits that are highly visible (ie me) and others are autistic and have traits that are mostly internal or they’re good at masking them for various reasons. The phrase “you don’t seem autistic / you don’t look autistic” never comes out of my mouth if I hear somebody say they’re autistic. (Hell, finding out somebody is autistic often explains things about them that seemed stand-out, like Anthony Hopkins’ eyes and mannerisms– he’s autistic!) Watch him stim with his hands and feet in this interview and notice how his speech isn’t as smooth when he’s just talking as opposed to saying the lines of a character.

I know I make generalizations myself. If I get frustrated and go “ugh, autism moms!” or “ugh, neurotypicals!” or something like that, it’s a statement of those types of people. It’s just “autism moms” who act like martyrs and not all moms who have autistic kids– or it’s just “neurotypicals who refuse to listen” and not every single neurotypical who ever existed.

(To put it another way, I don’t get mad if I see a POC reblog something with “ugh, white people” because I see it as they’re talking about a subset of white people who are being racist or dismissive of POC issues.)

Sorry, sorry, I got rambly…that happens a lot. I feel I HAVE to explain the reasoning behind a post or somebody will read something into it that isn’t there and I don’t want to spend days clarifying my point over and over.

tl;dr I think self dx is a good stopgap measure until a person can go get a pro dx. It’s valid if you get pro dx’ed in six months and it’s still valid if it takes sixty years to get a pro dx. There’s no time limit.

If the opportunity for an assessment comes along, take it. But don’t worry as much about it in the meantime.

Look at it this way: a diamond is still a diamond even before it’s dug up, sculpted into something sparkly and set in a ring.