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madewithonerib · 7 months

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Hagah: The Noisy Meditation | Sarah E. Fisher [Psalm 1:1-4]

Source: Hebrew Word Lessons Series: Be Still & Know

Meditation: hagah (verb), to meditate, groan, moan, growl. (Strong’s 1897); hegeh (masc noun) or hagut (fem noun) or hagig (masc noun), a rumbling, moan -ing, a meditation (Strong’s 1899, 1900 & 1901);

higgayon, meditational music. (Strong’s 1902)

Phonetic: haw-gaw; heh-geh; ha-goot; ha-geeg;

1.] Meditation on GOD's Word

The word “meditation” freaks some people out.

It has often been associated with eastern religions — but it’s very much associated with the Bible. To meditate, Biblically, is kind of a combination bet- ween studying Scripture & praying.

The Psalms were written as musical, reflective, prayerful songs. It is meant to be experienced, thru song by seeing the words, & uttering them in melodic form — and then meditating on them.

The very first Psalm talked about meditating on the law [torah] of GOD:

Psalm 1:1-4 Way of the Righteous & the Wicked ¹ Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or set foot on the path of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers.

² But his delight is in the Law of the YHWH, & on HIS law he meditates [yeh-h’geh] day & night.

³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water —yielding its fruit in season, whose leaf does not wither, & who prospers in all he does.

⁴ Not so the wicked!

For they are like chaff driven off by the wind.

Meditating on Scripture helps us grow, like a well -watered plant. We will blossom & grow fruit and that fruit will help feed others.

But we can’t do this well unless we meditate on the Word of GOD.

Joshua 1:8-9 This Book of the Law must not depart from your mouth; you are to recite [w-hagita] it day & night so that you may be careful to do every -thing written in it. For then you will prosper and succeed in all you do. ⁹ Have I not commanded you to be strong & courageous? Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for YHWH your GOD is with you wherever you go.”

………………………………………………………………… Meditating on the Word of GOD, day and night, was quintessential to good living. It would bring success [not measured by a human definition of success, but by YHWH’s definition of prosperity & success] …………………………………………………………………

The greatest success was to walk alongside GOD & have a solid relationship with HIM.

Meditating on GOD’s Word would bring us as close to GOD as we could be, while we live our lives here on Earth.

………………………………………………………………… All of our meditation should be focused on YHWH, not on anything related to chaos, evil, violence or destruction. …………………………………………………………………

Instead we should utter words of praise to the CREATOR & MAKER of all things beautiful:

Psalm 77:11-15 [Asaph:] I shall remember the deeds of YHWH; I will certainly remember YOUR wonders of old. I will meditate [w-hagiti] on all YOUR works, & on YOUR deeds with thanksgiving.

YOUR way, GOD, is Holy; what GOD is great like our GOD? YOU are the GOD WHO works wonders; YOU have made known YOUR strength among the peoples. By YOUR power YOU have redeemed YOUR people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah

Meditating on the characteristics of GOD was agood practise; HE was the Wonder-MAKER & the Redeemer; meditating on HIS goodness was the best way to live, filled with hope:

Psalm 143:5-6 [David:] I remember the days of old; I meditate [hagiti] on all YOUR accomplishments; I reflect on the work of YOUR hands.

I spread out my hands to YOU; my soul longs for YOU, like a weary land. Selah.

David was a big practitioner of meditation.

He started his day, meditating to YHWH: Psalm 5:1-3 Listen to my words, YHWH, consider my sighing [my meditation: hagigi]. Listen to the sound of my cry for help, my KING & my GOD, for to YOU I pray.

In the morning, YHWH, YOU will hear my voice; in the morning I will present my prayer to YOU & be on the watch.

David began his day in meditation & he ended his day just the same: Psalm 63:6-7 [David:] When I remember YOU on my bed — I meditate [eh-h’geh] on YOU in the night watches, for YOU have been my help, and in the shadow of YOUR wings I sing for joy.

2.] A Noisy Meditation

Unlike eastern meditation, where you close your mind, close your mouth, clear your mind & focus on a solitary thought — Biblical meditation has taught us that sound was an integral part of meditation.

Meditation was not meant to be practiced silently… you were to express, moan, & use your voice to reflect your feelings. Hagah was sometimes described as growling lions and moaning doves:

Isaiah 31:4 | For this is what YHWH says to me:

“As the lion or young lion growls [meditates: yeh-h’geh] over his prey—against which band of shepherds is called out & he will not be terrified at their voice nor disturbed at their noise, so will YHWH of armies come to wage war on Mount Zion and on its hill.”

Isaiah used this idea of focused meditation—like a lion growling over its prey—to show when you are hyper- focused nothing can distract you; fear is nothing when you are earnestly focused on GOD.

………………………………………………………………… But we are fearful creatures. It’s hard to be so devoutly meditative that we block out our worries and fears. …………………………………………………………………

YHWH gets that. Meditation can sometimes be a focused prayer asking for YHWH’s help:

Isaiah 38:14 | “Like a swallow, like a crane, so I twitter; I moan [meditate: eh-h’geh] like a dove; my eyes look wistfully to the heights; LORD, I am oppressed, be my security.”

Muttering and moaning were meant to be bi-products of meditation. Like grumbling lions and moaning doves —human meditation was expressed orally.

This was sometimes translated as a proclamation, an utterance, a sound or a sighing. When the mouth or tongue meditated, it made a sound:

Psalm 37:30-31 [David:] The mouth of the righteous utters [meditated: yeh-h’geh] wisdom & his tongue speaks justice. The Law of his GOD is in his heart; his steps do not slip.

Psalm 35:28 [David:] And my tongue shall proclaim meditate on [teh-h’geh] YOUR righteousness and YOUR praise all day long.

When the mouth meditated, it uttered a praiseful sound—singing and meditational uttering was the way to praise YHWH:

Psalm 71:22-24 | I will also praise YOU with a harp, & YOUR truth, my GOD; I will sing praises to YOU with the lyre, Holy ONE of Israel.

My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to YOU; and my soul—which YOU have redeemed.

My tongue also will meditate [teh-h’geh] on YOUR righteousness all day long; for they're put to shame —for they are humiliated who seek my harm.

3.] An Empty Meditation

Meditational singing & uttering were beautifully human.

So when humans started worshipping hand-made idols, it made no sense. How could humans wor- ship an object that couldn’t #sing or meditate or even speak?

Psalm 115:4-8 | Their idols are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths but they cannot speak; & they have eyes — but cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear; they have noses, but cannot smell; they have hands, but can't feel; they have feet, but they cannot walk; they cannot make a sound [a meditation: yeh-h’gu] with their throat.

Those who make them will become like them, everyone who trusts in them.

………………………………………………………………… Golden idols could not meditate; they could not utter a word. They were worthless, & those who worshipped them would become like them…

worthless. …………………………………………………………………

Their meditations were misguided.

It was a pointless practise; meditating on pagan gods was like meditating on emptiness:

Psalm 2:1 | Why are the nations restless and the peoples plotting in vain meditating on emptiness [yeh-h’gu riq]?

………………………………………………………………… Plotting in vain (as most translations provide) was an empty meditation; it had no value or merit. It wasn’t focused on GOD, and it was focused on the worthless. …………………………………………………………………

4.] Misguided Meditations

Meditation was not exclusive to GOD’s righteous people — those who meditated on violence and destruction brought about violence & destruction:

Proverbs 24:1-2 | Do not be envious of evil people, nor desire to be with them — for their minds #plot [meditate on: yeh-h’geh] violence, and their lips talk of trouble.

………………………………………………………………… Mediums and spiritists of the occult mis-used meditation—by turning the focus on the dead instead of the living: …………………………………………………………………

Isaiah 8:19

When they say to you, “Consult the mediums & the spiritists who whisper — and [do] the meditations [w-ha-ma-h’gim],” should people not consult their god/idols? Should they consult the dead on behalf of the living?

The Adversary (ha-Satan) was the god of death and his followers (like mediums) focused on death, & destruction and chaos.

………………………………………………………………… We should never meditate on the dead, but should always meditate on YHWH alone, for HE is the GOD of Life! …………………………………………………………………

But humans, being human, have a bond with death. There is an utter fascination because the grave waits for everyone.

Many reject YHWH’s promise of salvation from death —& their meditations are on themselves and not on YHWH. There is a separation between CREATOR and creation:

………………………………………………………………… Isaiah 59:2-3 | Your wrongdoings have caused a separation between you and your GOD, & your sins have hidden HIS face from you so that HE does not hear. …………………………………………………………………

For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with wrongdoing; your lips have spoken deceit — your tongue #mutters [meditates on: teh-h’geh] wickedness…

The people meditated on the wrong things; their mutterings were wicked. But if they recognized and owed up to the fact that their #meditations were misguided, and they turned back to YHWH — they would benefit from a REDEEMER WHO would save them:

Isaiah 59:9-14, 19-20 …Therefore justice is far from us — & righteousness does not reach us; we hope for light, but there is darkness, for brightness, but we walk in gloom. We grope for the wall like people who are blind — we grope like those who have no eyes.

We stumble at midday as in the twilight; among those who are healthy — we are like the dead.

………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………… All of us growl like bears, and moan sadly [moaningly moan: hagoh neh-h’geh] like doves; we hope for justice — but there is none; for salvation, but it is far from us. ………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………

For our wrongful acts have multiplied before YOU, & our sins have testified against us; for our wrong -ful acts are with us, & we know our wrongdoings:

offending and denying YHWH, and turning away from our GOD, speaking oppression and revolt, conceiving & uttering [horow w-hogow] #lying words from the heart.

Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away; for truth has stumbled in the street, & uprightness cannot enter…

…So they will fear the name of YHWH from the west & HIS glory from the rising of the sun, for HE will come like a rushing stream — which the wind of YHWH drives.

”A Redeemer will come to Zion, and to those in Jacob who turn from wrongdoing,” declares YHWH.

Those who were against GOD were also against HIS followers. David’s enemies were described as plotters (meditators) against David:

Psalm 38:12-15 | [David:] Those who seek my life lay snares for me; and those who seek to injure me have threatened destruction, and they plot [meditate: yeh-h’gu] deception all day long.

But I, like a person who is deaf, do not hear; and I am like a person who cannot speak, who does not open his mouth.

Yes, I am like a person who does not hear, and in whose mouth are no arguments. For I wait for YOU, YHWH; YOU will answer, LORD my GOD.

Those who meditate on bringing destruction against YHWH and HIS people do not deserve a replied utterance — which was why David stayed silent.

YESHUA (JESUS) stayed silent when HIS enemies accused HIM.

The religious elite plotted/meditated on YESHUA’s destruction, and had HIM arrested. During HIS trial YESHUA stayed, primarily, silent:

Matthew 26:59-63a

Now the chief priests and the entire Council kept trying to obtain false testimony against JESUS, so that they might put HIM to death.

They did not find any, even though many false witnesses came forward.

But later on two came forward, and said, “This man stated, ‘I am able to destroy the Temple of GOD and to rebuild it in three days.’”

The High Priest stood up and said to HIM, “Do YOU offer no answer for what these men are testifying against YOU?” But JESUS kept silent . . .

YESHUA knew these people wanted to destroy HIM; it was their focus and meditation… the death and destruction of the only truly innocent ONE on the planet. The High Priest did not deserve a reply.

But when he point-blank asked YESHUA if HE was the MESSIAH, YESHUA broke HIS #silence:

Matthew 26:63b-68

And the High Priest said to HIM, “I place YOU under oath by the living GOD — to tell us whether YOU are the MESSIAH, the SON of GOD”

JESUS said to him, “You have said it yourself. But I tell you, from now on you will see the SON of MAN sitting at the right hand of power, & coming on the clouds of Heaven.”

Then the High Priest tore his robes and said, “HE has blasphemed! What further need do we have of witnesses? See, you have now heard the blasphemy; what do you think?”

They answered, “HE deserves death!”

They spit in HIS face & beat HIM with their fists; & others slapped HIM, & said, “Prophesy to us, YOU MESSIAH; who is the one who hit YOU?”

At this, YESHUA returned to HIS silence. Who hit HIM? Ha-Satan (the Adversary) hit HIM, because the people bore the image of Satan that day.

Their hearts were not open to hearing the truth because their meditation is on death/destruction. They were deeply #immersed in the practices of GOD’s Opponent & their mouths #reflected their own misguided meditations.

Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous ponders [meditates: yeh-h’geh] how to answer — but mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

5. YHWH Meditates & Moans

Those with righteous hearts would be willing to listen & contemplate, because they were YHWH’s image bearers.

YHWH constantly contemplated and meditated on HIS righteous people and HE always listened to them when they called.

But when humanity turned away from YHWH, it broke HIS heart. HE would moan & meditate for HIS lost people:

Jeremiah 48:29-31

[YHWH:] “We have heard of the pride of Moab— he is very proud— of his haughtiness, his pride, his arrogance, and his self-exaltation.

“I know his fury,” declares YHWH, “But it is futile; his idle boasts have accomplished nothing. Thus I will wail for Moab, for all of Moab I will cry out; I will moan [yeh-h’geh] for the men of Kir-heres.”

We're the object of YHWH’s meditation-moaning --HIS #focus is squarely on us because HE deeply cares for HIS people.

………………………………………………………………… The enigmatic fourth friend of Job emphasised the audible #meditation of YHWH towards HIS people: …………………………………………………………………

Job 37:1-5

[Elihu:] “At this also my heart trembles, & leaps from its place. Listen closely to the thunder of HIS [YHWH’s] voice, & the rumbling [meditation: w-hegeh] that goes out from HIS mouth.

Under the whole Heaven HE lets it loose, and HIS lightning travels to the ends of the Earth. After it, a voice roars; HE thunders with HIS majestic voice and HE does not restrain the lightning--when HIS voice is heard.

GOD thunders wondrously with HIS voice, doing great things -- which we do not comprehend.”

The meditations of YHWH are to be a reminder to us of what meditation is all about… focused, audible, contemplative prayer, & it brings with it wondrous beauty and awe.

6.] The Meditation of My Heart:

I will be Redeemed & Live!

When it all comes down to it, a deep meditation of Scripture highlights the focus of redemption. From the moment we messed up in the Garden—YHWH put a plan into place to save us, redeem us, & bring us home to HIM.

Eve & Adam, by their actions, had to leave Eden— but that’s not what GOD wanted… & so HE made a plan to conquer the human curse of death in order for us to be able to return to HIS Garden Kingdom.

Psalm 49 celebrated the Good News — and understanding, of YHWH’s redemptive plan:

Psalm 49:1-15 [Sons of Korah:] Hear this all peoples; listen, all inhabitants of the world, both low & high, rich & poor together.

My mouth will speak wisdom, & the meditation of my heart [w-hagut libbi] will be understanding. I'll incline my ear to a proverb; I will express my riddle on the harp.

Why should I fear in days of adversity—when the injustice of those who betray me surrounds me— those who trust in their wealth, and boast in the abundance of their riches?

No one can by any means redeem another or give GOD a ransom for him—for the redemption of his soul is priceless, and he should cease imagining forever—that he might live on eternally, that he might not undergo decay.

For he sees that even wise people die; the foolish and the stupid alike perish & leave their wealth to others.

Their inner thought is that their houses are forever —and their dwelling places to all generations; they have named their lands after their own names.

But man in his splendour will not endure; he is like “𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵”. This is the way of those who are foolish, & of those after them who approve their words.

………………………………………………………………… Selah: Like sheep they sink down to Sheol; death will be their Shepherd; and the upright will rule over them in the morning, & their form shall be for Sheol to consume so they have no lofty home. …………………………………………………………………

But GOD'll redeem my soul from the power of Sheol, for HE will receive me. Selah Those who put their trust in death, will die… they will sink into the grave [Sheol]; but those who put their trust in YHWH, the GOD of Life, will rise up and be redeemed.

Sheol cannot hold them down.

They'll be received by YHWH, back in the Kingdom where they belong. YESHUA’s death paid for our entrance fee back into YHWH’s Garden Kingdom.

………………………………………………………………… HIS resurrection meant that death was conquered & all the children of GOD could follow in YESHUA’s footsteps & return home to YHWH. …………………………………………………………………

The Apostle Paul preached the Good News of #salvation across the known world after YESHUA’s death.

HE taught prayer & meditation should be though about & practised: Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, fellow believers, whatever is true/honourable/right/ or pure/lovely/commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

As for the things you have learned & received & heard & seen in me, practice these things, & the GOD of peace will be with you.

………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………… Who is true, honourable, right, pure, lovely and commendable? YHWH! So when we meditate on these things our focus is in the right place. ………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝗴𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲, 𝗺𝗼𝗮𝗻 & 𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗺… Meditating 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.

Don’t be afraid to get noisy… YHWH wants to hear from you! We should meditate as David meditated:

Psalm 19:14 [David:] May the words of my mouth & the meditation of my heart [w-heg’yown libbi] be acceptable in YOUR sight, YHWH my ROCK and my REDEEMER.

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Comment:

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Joyful Sparrow | July 31, 2022 @6:23AM

What a powerful reminder. It is all too easy to allow our thoughts to #dwell on cultural chaos & noise, unceasingly swirling around us―tugging at our minds and desiring to swallow up our hearts.

“LORD help us fix our thoughts on YOU; to choose to gently marinate in YOUR Word. Transform our minds as we meditate and 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁.”

Published by Hebrew Word Lessons:

Sarah Fisher is an admirer of old books, and old languages, old stone carvings, old photos and pretty much everything old.

She is the administrator of the website www.booklives.ca & is a library technician at the University of Prince Edward Island.

Sarah has a Master of Arts degree in Early Medieval Studies from the University of York in England.

Her recent love of learning the Hebrew language from pictographic proto- Canaanite to the adopted Aramaic script has led her to create this blog.

#The Noisy Meditation #meditation #focused on GOD #GOD's Character #GOD's Faithfulness #brings spiritual success #walk alongside GOD #relationship with GOD #intimacy with GOD #YHWH #Hebrew Word Lessons #Hagah #Psalm 1

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satannedtrash · 6 years

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a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?”

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that” nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

at-

him

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, “you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

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