#some women are just out of our league and we have to accept that

[pkmn-smashorpass]

I would love to smash sableye, but I'm worried they'd be too expensive as a date 😔

If you can’t wine and dine Sableye then you don’t deserve Sableye

[artdcnaldson]

okay but PLEASE elaborate on Olympics!Art AU

TeeHee

Rating: E (18+)

Warnings: SMUT (p in v), feral obsessive behavior, infidelity

A/N: And you would do it too, that’s all I’m saying. Also IMPORTANT note: I love Tashi, she is a mother to many. However this fic has a very obsessive reader who just wants to fuck a married man, at Tashi’s expense

Maybe you were a bad person.

You’d met Art and Tashi Donaldson before— a year back at an event held for Tennis’ rising stars. That was you, some other guys who had done well in the Juniors, a girl from an Ivy League, and more people that fell into the blind spots of your interest..

You must’ve looked so sweet in your formalwear, approaching the couple with shaking hands so you could say just how big of a fan you were. You had no ill intent then, not when you were face to face with two people you’d idolized since you were twelve and watching the Junior US Open. That night you’d taken a deep breath as you stared at the ceiling of your home, feeling like you’d made it.

Sure, Art was handsome, and you’d lived the past decade harboring a massive celebrity crush on him, but he was married, he was untouchable. Art Donaldson oozed that sweet, devoted husband shtick. Anniversary posts, birthday posts, Valentine’s Day posts, Mother’s Day posts. He had a daughter, he posted about how much he loved being a dad.

You were fine accepting that your fantasies of fucking Art Donaldson were strictly fantasies. But that was before you qualified and had to see him every fucking day.

Art Donaldson, who held open doors for you, who talked to you casually, like he might an old friend. Art, who stood in the long line in the food court with you, ate something he probably shouldn’t have, and asked that you don’t tell Tashi.

And you’d smile conspiratorially, and assure him his secret was safe with you. The implication being that you’d keep that secret, and more. As many as he’d ask you to, really.

You’d see him on a practice court, running drills with his wife, and feel the heat of jealousy in the pit of your stomach. You’d turn away, focus on your own game, practice until your hands were aching and sore.

“Where’s Mrs. Donaldson?” You asked one night after you’d been sexiled and had to sit out in the hallway waiting for your roommate to finish up. Art leaned against the wall, standing tall above you, so you had to crane your neck. You liked that point of view, on your knees looking up at him, you wondered if he liked it too.

“Oh, she’s staying in a very nice, very expensive hotel room with our daughter right now,” he said with a grin. “As soon as my events are done, that’s where I’ll be too.”

“Oh,” you said, bringing an easy smile to your lips. “Well, we’re all glad you’re here now.”

“We?” He questioned.

You gave a coy smile, batting your lashes so sweetly. “Maybe just me.”

There was a strange expression on his face for just a moment. Then he laughed like it was nothing. He wished you a goodnight and good luck in your matches the next morning, and disappeared into his own room.

You medaled in women’s doubles. They published photos of you and your partner biting the silver between your teeth. That same day, Art Donaldson took home gold. You were there to see the very end of his last match— every single collision of racket against ball, every step, every grunt of exertion. Your thighs clenched as you watched, fists balled up in the fabric of your skirt.

You wanted him in a needy, desperate sort of way. Like a groupie for a rock band, or a virgin being sacrificed on a mountaintop. You watched him celebrate with a kiss from Tashi and felt that same need like an open wound. Jealousy was festering in you like a rot.

The dive bar wasn’t what you’d expected. Something Art had found with a quick google search and a few minutes with a translation app. He’d knocked on your door to invite you, wearing the beaming smile of someone on top of the world.

“So you’ll come?” He asked after he told you all about it.

“Mhmm,” you said, heart hammering against your ribs. “I’ll come.”

And there you were— in a dress that hardly qualified as such— standing so close to him that you could smell his expensive cologne. His arm would brush yours, he’d glance over and apologize with a warm hand to your arm. You’d clench your thighs together and peer at him through your lashes. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.

A few of the other players disappeared to play darts, or watch the late night coverage of the other sports still competing. You stuck by Art’s side, happily allowing his attention to fall on you completely.

“I saw parts of your doubles final,” he said finally. He was drinking a brand of beer you’d never seen before— something local, you supposed. “You looked beautiful out there.” Your eyes lit up, and then he added. “The way you were playing, I mean— it was phenomenal.”

“Well, I’m no gold medalist,” you said. You let your hand rest on his arm, and looked up at him. The fingers on your other hand toyed with the edge of the medal, warm from where it had been flush against his chest.

He swallowed. You felt his muscles flex beneath your touch, but he didn’t discourage it. Not one fucking bit.

It wasn’t lost on you that Tashi wasn’t there. Not that it was really her type of venue, from what you had gathered. It wasn’t lost on you that Art Donaldson was at a dive bar, drinking random Brazilian beers, instead of celebrating with his wife, with his daughter. Fuck all those posts on his instagram— if he really was a good husband, a faithful one… that’s the only place he’d want to be.

“I saw your match too. I ran right over after my ceremony to watch,” you confessed. It was hard to concentrate on anything else— you were standing so close to him that you were nearly pressed completely into his body.

His lips twitched in interest. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “Mhmm. It was incredible. You were so dominant out there, just taking what was rightfully yours.”

He swallowed again, gravitating closer. Your tits were practically spilling out of your dress— he probably got the perfect eyeful when he eased you closer with a firm hand on your lower back, when he looked down at you through blown pupils.

“You looked so fucking hot out there, Art,” you said, lips brushing against his jawline. “You can’t even imagine how it felt sitting there, watching you win. How turned on I got… how wet.”

Art exhaled a shuddery breath. “Jesus Christ.”

It must’ve been a while since he had someone want him this bad, you thought. Clearly he needed it— needed a pretty, sweet thing to tell him just how much they wanted him. You could be that. You could do that.

“I’m not wearing panties,” you whispered in his ear. His grip on you tightened and you had to suppress a giddy smile. “You can feel if you want. I won’t tell.”

He swore under his breath and glanced around. Everyone was too occupied or drunk to give a shit about what the two of you were up to.

He grabbed your hand, pulled you away into the bathroom. You looked pretty even then, in the flickering lights, sat up on the edge of the sink eagerly awaiting his attention.

When he wrenched your thighs apart, he was greeted by the pretty sight of your glistening cunt— sticky with arousal and need. His hand fit there perfectly, right where you needed it.

“Fuck,” you gasped. His fingers rubbed through your slit— wet and hot and aching for him. Your head fell back, knocking against the dirty mirror. “Want you to use me— whatever you want, just take it.”

And you meant it too. This was your teenage idol— a man you’d touched yourself to the thought of countless times. He owned your body, your sexuality, as much as you did. It was only fair he took from it whatever he pleased.

You watched with hungry eyes as he fumbled with the button of his pants, then shoved them down just enough to free his dick.

Your mouth fucking watered with the need to feel it on your tongue, nudging against the back of your throat. You weren’t opposed to begging— you nearly started before you got it into your hand.

Warm, thick, pulsing. Precum beaded at his tip, so you smeared it around the sensitive head of his cock with your thumb. He groaned, bucked into your fist once, twice before he moved your hand.

“Spread your legs wider for me,” he said, slapping the inside of your thighs. You obeyed wordlessly, spreading yourself out invitingly. He pressed closer, so you felt him rutting his dick against your pussy, coating it in your arousal. “God, you’re so fucking wet.”

The words came out with equal parts disgust and awe. He probably thought you were a slut with the way you were throwing yourself at him. You wished he’d just call you that, spit it in your face.

Your cunt pulsed with need, aching to be filled up finally. The culmination of years of fantasizing. Art pressed himself against your entrance, sinking himself into you with the slow reverence of a man who liked making love.

He buried himself inside of you and had to stop moving to keep from cumming then and there. He was a perfect image of restraint— the way his fingers dimpled the flesh of your hips in a bruising grip.

Art wanted to be a gentleman— to give you time to adjust to the size of him, to ease you into it and let the pleasure be a slow, soft burn. He pulled out nice and easy, slid himself into your wet, throbbing cunt. That was all fine and good, but you knew it was just pretense. You were laid out and wanting, begging for him to use you as his own personal toy.

“I’m not your wife, Art.” You met his gaze, locked your ankles around his waist. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

The first thrust, the first real one, knocked the air from your lungs. That silence didn’t last long— because you got what you wanted— he was really fucking you, bullying his cock into your pussy with the same need and desperation that you felt.

“Jesus Christ, you’ve— fuck— you’ve got no fucking self respect, huh?” He pounded into you, leveraging his grip to pull you against him, really impale you on his dick.

The moan that escaped you was pornographic. If he kept talking to you like that, if he kept fucking you like that, you’d cum.

“You don’t even care, do you? This fucking pussy’s squeezing me so tight— you fucking love this,” His voice was strained, interrupted by groans and pants.

You moaned, eyes rolling back. “Love this,” you echoed. When you looked down, at the sight of him splitting you open, of the ring of creamy arousal circling the base of his dick, you felt dizzy. Like you were standing on top of a tall building and looking down. Sort of out of body, tethered in the present by brutal thrusts into your pussy and the wet, slapping sounds of your bodies joining.

Your fingers moved between your thighs, rubbing needy and insistent at your clit. So close to finishing that you wanted to cry and just ask to start over again, that you’d savor it more a second time.

“Gonna cum,” he groaned suddenly. You felt him start to pull out, to leave. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck— not yet, you didn’t want it to end like that. “I have an IUD,” you lied through your teeth. You used your legs, pulled him closer, deeper. “Just keep going, don’t stop. I’m right there.”

He moaned against your throat— holding you tight, fucking into you with animal need. Your fingers moved against your clit with an insistent need. It didn’t take much to push you over the edge. Your moans so loud that Art had to put his medal between your lips to shut you up.

And you were so pliant— letting him drill into your aching, used cunt, your mouth tasting like metal. You felt his rhythm falter— one, two harsh thrusts that knocked muffled moans from you until he came, painting your insides thick, creamy white.

He stayed buried inside of you for a while— panting, doing his best to catch his breath. You spat out the medal and it fell back against his chest, spit slick and shining. You reached up, ran your fingers along his face, reverently, sweetly. A lock of hair fell into his eyes and you tucked it away with delicate fingers.

When he pulled out, you felt that sinking feeling of loss and jealousy in your chest. He redressed in silence, turned away like he couldn’t stand to look at you, or the mirror. Shame rolled off of him in waves that you wanted to brush away.

It wasn’t bad, you’d assure him. You’re a tennis star, you’re the greatest in the world. You should have whatever you want, whenever you want it.

But you didn’t say that. You just tidied yourself up as best as you could and slipped back out into the bar. If anyone noticed, they said nothing.

[stardancerluv]

When the Predator Becomes the Prey

Part One of ?

Notes/Warning: 18+ consensual act of implied sex, language, sexy fantasy, drinking, mentions of a possible kidnapping, mentions of pregnancy, sexist, domineering

I wanted to explore more of the Frank character. I gave him a real name. Yes, they say Adam in the film but I want that to be his deep cover name. So “reader” calls him Nick, Nicky. Also I plan on using alot of flashbacks..to flesh him out.

He is horrible, rotten person…but well..in the tradition of Roman Sionis…and more recently Gator Tillman (though he 🫣😬 not as bad as these Roman & Frank!). Here is a short take on “Frank” you could say its AU…so please don’t come after me.

Comments, ❤️, reblogs and any feedback is welcome!!!

The amber liquid sloshed in his glass. He twisted the cap back onto the bottle and took a swig. A bitterness filled him, he had been a well respected detective.

It had not taken long for him to discover the darker sides of his nature. It was very easy for him enter the world of the criminal.

“Can’t sleep?“ He felt as your arms wrapped around him. It did help somewhat.

He made an incoherent sound of agreement.

“You don’t have to take the job.”

The silence grew heavy before he took another swig. He glanced at you over his shoulder.

“I have to. If we want to disappear for good.”

You nodded.

He chewed his bottom lip.

“You’re still a good man.”

“A man who is about to become a fucking father who may or may not be weighing the options of kidnapping of some fucking twelve year old.”

“It was a good man who faced with unbelievable horror took me with him?”

He chuckled.

“It’s because you’re a cute piece of ass.”

You smacked him.

Placing the glass down, he shifted turning to you. In the muted, neon light that bled through the curtains; he could still make out your beauty. He remembered the first time he laid his eyes on you.

******

Glasses clinked, peels of laughter genuine and fake filled the air as men, women dark and brooding planned deeds that were unsavory. He was deep undercover. He relished the freedom it gave him. He had always been the law. Now he was above it. He was in the big leagues now.

Surveying the crowd, the ones he was meeting were not there. Taking a table in a corner, he would able to watch everything. He fiddled with his phone.

“Hello there handsome, is there anything I can get you?” A sweet voice, he didn’t recognize asked.

Glancing up, he saw your legs first. You had a curves he liked. The rest of you, damn. He bit the inside of his cheek. You had fresh face. Not worn or plastered like the other girls.

“Give me a twirl baby?” He pocketed his phone.

“I’m not for sale.” The smile left your eyes.

“Am I trying to buy you? No. Now give me a twirl.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine.” The skirt flared just a bit and he liked even more what he saw.

He nodded. “Very nice.” He leaned forward, the soft scent of your perfume was pleasing like the rest of you. His lips curled into a smirk. Look, I got some important guys coming in. Wanna be the girl for our table tonight, and I’ll treat you right?”

You put a hand on your hip. He wanted it to be his, give you a squeeze. See the sounds you’d like. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

Your nervous glance around was endearing. Most of the girls would have been fuck the rules and happily accept his proposition.

“Go tell your boss, Adam is asking for you.” He sat back and smirked.

“Oh, alright.” You fluttered off.

Damn he wanted you already bouncing in his lap or kneeling between his legs. He didn’t want to wait.

******

“Are you getting sentimental, Nicky or are you committing my face to memory?”

He chuckled being brought back to the bedroom, the two of you shared. That night was a lifetime ago.

You had laid back down, the memory made him want you and now. He easily moved so he was between your legs.

He saw some hesitation flicker in your eyes.

“What? You don’t want me anymore since I knocked you up?”

You shook your head. “Just worried.

“Did the doctor say anything?” He blinked.

“No, he said it might actually be good for me.”

He smirked. “Then why are you worried.” He palmed himself.

“Because you’re rough.”

“I won’t be.”

He braced himself and leaned in close. His nose nuzzled your cheek. Your soft scent from you showering, lingered. You were good enough to eat.

“Don’t worry about that baby. I want to see the fruits of my seed.”

Your hand came up and caressed his cheek.

“Then, I’m all yours.”

“I knew you couldn’t say no.”

Her legs deliciously opened further for him. Easily, he took himself out of his sweats. He slid his tip between the petal softness of her folds.

“You want me just as badly.”

“Look at you. How could I not?”

“Well, here I come baby?”

********

He glanced around as he sat in the coffee shop. Lambert had yet to arrive.

He ordered himself an expresso and whipped cream. He stirred it before taking a sip.

********

You came shimmying up to him. Your short sparkly dress left little to his imagination. He knew what it barely hid. He was perched, at the high top table they chose.

“Nicky, come and dance with me.”

You tugged on his hand. It amused him. Compared to him, everything was so delicate and small. You were like a daisy compared the storm that he was.

“I’ll just sit here and watch you baby.”

A soft pout formed on your full lips.

“Now, don’t be pouting. We both know what happens when you do.”

“Then come dance with me.”

He grimaced, glancing around before he slid off.

“Just this one time.”

You wrapped your arms around his throat, he placed his hands in on your hips. Finding the rhythm and he began to move easily with you. You were easily the hottest woman on this dance floor and you were all his. The lights, twinkled and danced. The music ebbed and flowed and for the first time in his life, he relished dancing the night away.

*****

The bell on the door of the coffee shop chimed bringing him back to his expresso. He took a sip. Perfect, he mused.

Looking towards the door, he caught as Lambert cut a path over to him.

“So what have you decided Adam?”

He adjusted his glasses. “Cutting to quick, I see.”

The man nodded.

“What’s the exposure?”

“If you all do it right? None. You snatch her and then babysit her, twenty four hours tops.”

He pressed his lips together. “Alright. But I pick the muscle. I don’t want some psychotic ape losing his cool.”

Lambert nodded. “Fine. You have two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” Impatience rose in him. He took a sip of the expresso to hid his disgust over the idea of waiting.

A bored look came over Lambert. “The subject is overseas. They are expected back in a week and a half. After that, you and the pack will be given the needed materials.”

He adjusted his glasses and nodded. “I just don’t like waiting.”

“Understandable.”

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

What do you think about this? Are teams really improving?https://www.tumblr.com/pinpilinpaux/761936510028218368/also-going-to-say-that-people-insist-spanish-teams?source=share

okay, listen. this is the last comment i'm going to make about this tumblr user's posts because clearly we have completely different perspectives on liga f. 😅

maybe it's because i live abroad and have experienced watching matches in multiple leagues, but we should not be accepting the bare minimum in liga f as signs of progress or that everything is okay because we need to be doing a lot more! for every step forward, we take two steps back, and there's a lack of consistency.

but let's talk about liga f teams:

depor was promoted to liga f this year and played its first match at the men's stadium, riazor. just last season they were playing on artificial grass. and this is the first year that they offer meals for the women in addition to the men. we are talking about improving the basics here!

but as we commend depor for having the women play in riazor, how many matches have real madrid femenino played at the bernabéu? oh that's right, zero. and they still have toril in charge.

levante las planas made the change this season to levante badalona. but let's remember that llp was not paying its players and staff, played on artificial surfaces, and moved out of the neighbourhood it was in to badalona, which created its own controversy. and let's not forget that michele kang is supposedly involved with levante badalona...

levante ud has been one of the top teams in liga f for years. but last year the team cut the budget of its women's team and lost most of its star players. and now they have started the league with a 0-2 record. is that progress?!

rayo vallecano was one of the top teams in the women's division for years. but they had a massive fall from grace and now have dropped down two tiers and are in the segunda federación. is that also progress?

atletí was one of the top teams in spain for year, but also lost players and are in a massive rebuild having crashed out of champions league this year.

alhama's players suffered sexual and emotional harassment at the hands of their coach, only for the club to try and sweep it under the rug. the coach was *finally* sanctioned in december.

so yes, some teams are making progress, but then other teams that previously made progress, suffered major setbacks.

and these are just the teams. we are not even talking about the general league structure under beatriz álvarez, who is completely incompetent. 🙄 and we are not even mentioning the crazy liga f schedule and the fact that 16 teams is too many!

the only consistency has been barça! so no, i am not going to be making excuses for this league and the teams in this league because some culers have gotten their feelings hurt that mariona is no longer playing for our club. 😤

[coochiequeens]

https://torontosun.com/news/local-news/warmington-female-rugby-players-complain-trans-opponent-hits-too-hard

Female rugby players are not used to feeling like they have been hit by a bus on the field. Or a truck.

A veteran female rugby player, who plays for the Stoney Creek Camels senior women’s team, said she was hit so hard in a recent game, it felt like a man delivering the tackle.

This transgender player, known as Ash — said to have registered as a non-binary person who identifies as female — stands about 5-foot-10 and weighs up to 220 pounds. 

“We are women,” said a female player on the receiving end of a tackle. “It’s a whole other thing playing rugby against men.” 

Or one who used to be — especially one of that size, who is also said to have been an MVP at the men’s level just last season. 

“I had never been hit like that before, even at the competitive women’s level,” said the player. “There was so much more brute force. There are women who are bigger than him, but no girl hits like that. This is a strong human.” 

“The player is a nice person, but that is not the point,” said the female player. “We are now at a disadvantage.”

This story has sparked a lot of discussion within the rugby community – many comparing it to the Leah Thomas swimming issue in the United States. But as one female player pointed out, competitive swimmers have their own lane and there are no collisions. In rugby, it’s all collisions, all the time. She said Ash’s legs are massive and strong, and “you feel the hits from (them) the next day.”

Diana Murphy a friend of some of the players, tweeted: “Three women’s rugby players had to be removed from a game and treated for injuries from hits sustained by a transwoman” and that she feels “Trans have no place in women’s sports.” Rugby Canada said there were no illlegal hits, but sources in the game said Ash received a yellow card from the referee for a hit to the head of one female player. Ash was pulled from the game. Players said they are not clear whether it was at the insistence of the referee or the Fergus coach. Either way, Rugby Canada said this is a federal inclusion issue and not only is this transgender player welcomed in the league, but the law protects that person from discrimination.

“We are aware of the matter in question but would advise that Rugby Canada has received no formal complaints,” said Managing Director Tania Richards. “All rugby played in Canada abides by federal government laws which regulates inclusion in sports."

She said there were no players hurt and there were no illegal hits as has been suggested on social media. What there has been, said Richards, is online harassment of the transgender player. The Fergus club has not yet responded, but has forwarded our request to speak with Ash. Meanwhile, there are some players who feel they should not have to play against someone who was recently considered male, but are afraid to reveal their identities for fear of being targeted or cancelled themselves.

All sides use the word “complicated” when talking about this matter. Rugby Ontario sent a communique to members, saying “for those who attended Sunday’s board meeting, you are aware of some concerns that have arisen about player safety in the context of a transplayer playing in club games” and “we are working closely with Rugby Canada senior staff on the matter and are together developing action and communication plans, informed by the counsel of their third-party crisis management PR agency.” They also asked, “if you are contacted by anyone in the community or the media, please do not engage by offering any opinion or comment on the situation.” What they don’t seem to be doing is fully accepting there are some female players who don’t feel comfortable going up against a transitioning opponent in a physical sport where size and strength play a role. One player said the collision she had with trans player Ash was unlike any other impact she has felt in all her years playing rugby.

[watermelinoe]

So i've never been fond of the "urgh I'm a bi woman who loves girls but I'm stuck with this crusty guy 🙄" thing because i view it as juvenile and disrespectful to the person you have chosen to be in a relationship with but I've mostly only seen it online.

But I went to the club with some girls this past weekend and one of the women in our group not only brought her bf out with us but then hit on me right in front of him and did the whole bit about "omg you're so much hotter than my man, if I was singly rn, can't believe I'm stuck with this dude." We were standing about 2 feet away from him.

Girl if you hate him that much, why are you dating him and why did you bring him

This isn't really related to anything specific you've posted I just wanted to rant about it. I'm also a bi woman in a straight relationship and it dropped my jaw to think of behaving so contemptuously to my partner. Like she treated being attracted to me as a big joke/not real and not like she just offered to cheat on her bf while he stood a few feet away

the curse of bi women dating extremely crusty worthless failmales deserves a dissertation honestly ....

basically bi women are socialized not to pursue relationships with women seriously and i will explain how i could have become this woman if it wasn't for finding radblr

and this isn't to excuse this behavior exactly (not that i actually care if a bi woman puts down her shitty bf and knows she's out of his league bc in my experience these dudes think they're god's gift to women) bc it's disrespectful to other ssa women

and it's like okay every stereotype of the cheating bi woman who always gravitates to a man bc that's the only "real" relationship to her (and this btw does absolutely help to explain why bi women have the highest rates of IPV) is because of socialization

i was fascinated with lesbian relationships from a young age, i was a tomboy, i gravitated towards stories where women and girls fell in love with each other, i made OCs in lesbian relationships. i was aware that people could be gay, although in live-action media i had never seen lesbians, only gay men. i didn't know anyone who was gay or bi.

it genuinely did not occur to me that being with another girl was something that could happen to me in real life. idk how to explain this disconnect, bc i absolutely thought about kissing my female friends and what it would be like, but as far as i knew i was the only person who felt that way in real life.

meanwhile, boys actually did like me, did pursue me, and i accepted thinking i would eventually "get" what having a boyfriend was about, and this should probably help illustrate why i questioned my sexuality for so long (i was never boy crazy, always uncomfortable if a boy liked me, and the thought of dick was not appealing to me lmao) but i was in love with the same boy my entire childhood who treated me like shit (a pattern later but anyway) and if i were five years younger i'd be all in on the split attraction model but bullet dodged, i am just bi and i like being bi now

in many cases having a boyfriend is just something that happens to girls, and it becomes a habit that you can't break. it didn't happen to me, but i watched so many amazing girls twist themselves into knots for complete losers, because they couldn't be single, they didn't know how.

and all these girls know is the male gaze. the kind of bisexual men want women to be. and there's no incentive to take your attraction to women seriously because no one else does, because you're supposed to be with a man anyway, but you might resent it. i think that woman is probably filled with resentment.

i was in college and i found radblr and i found women who wanted to be with women and i realized it was real and that there might be women who wouldn't feel disgusted if they knew i wanted them. but a lot of bi women never have that moment, they only explore their sexuality through content made for men and through some greasy boyfriend

so anyway she sounds like she sucks but also i feel like bi women are uniquely punished for perpetuating the patriarchy in a way that, say, straight women are not

[ballplayersxo]

“Her family is well known and it’s a small town he wouldn’t dare 😡”

🤨🧐🤨🧐🤨🧐

Princess Diana from the Spencer family got cheated on by the now King of the Commonwealth who has married his mistress

Kate Middleton, the Princess/Dutchess of Wales (or whatever it is) is allegedly getting cheated on by the Prince/Duke of Wales and her family was also well known in their city before they got together

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter’s family was pretty much known by not only the entire city of Houston but the state of Texas before she got with JayZ, and now they are known by the entire world, and guess what???? BEYONCÉ herself still got cheated on

Jackie O “allegedly” got cheated on by the President when she was the First Lady and her family was well known before she got with JK

Hillary Clinton literally got cheated on by the President in the f*cking Oval Office when she was the First Lady of the USofA and got humiliated in front of not just the nation but the entire f*cking world

Im sure there are women who come from well known families in their hometowns who are married to local/statewide politicians or even just regular dudes who are getting cheated on as well

And the sad part is, guess what all those women (excluding the OG Princess Diana) have in common?

Once they found out about their partner’s infidelity: they stayed.

and there are people who most likely knew this was happening, but to those people, why say something against this powerful man (yes we would usually call those people cowards with no back bone) and it has nothing to do with them and ain’t messing up they pockets?

Im not saying JB9 is a cheater, I really hope he isn’t because that shit isn’t cool at all, and I have nothing against his girlfriend, but to say that she wouldn’t get cheated on because of her family is some top tier nonsense when the most powerful women in the world throughout history have gotten cheated on.

Y’all know the saying: “If Beyoncé got cheated on what does that say about what happens to the rest of us?”

(Of course, not everyone is getting cheated on, there are good men out there believe it or not and I want to believe JB9 is one of them)

Again, I’m not saying he cheats, I really hope he doesn’t because no one deserves to get treated like that whether they accept it or not, but she’s not exempt from it happening to her. Especially when that man is the franchise QB1 that brought that team out from the trenches and is arguably the 2nd best quarterback in the league

I personally don’t think I could stay knowing my partner is out there doing me wrong whether in public or doing it quietly,

but those women I listed above have the mindset that “ a power couple is better than what else I could get or if I stay single” (which is unfortunate, bc we deserve the force that a single Beyoncé would give). JB9 & her ain’t on that level, maybe in Cincinnati I guess, but ykwim

I don’t know what goes on in their relationship it really ain’t our business, but it seems like the girl is doing just fine regardless

But y’all fans need to be so forreal

And if it helps, I used to be painfully naive too, but then when growing up and reading blogs like this or LSA or hearing things in the news, or just seeing what happens in my city……yeah, unfortunately the rose tinted glasses fall off and get stepped on real fast without mercy (and this is coming from a 24yo hopeless romantic)

Sorry this is so long but last thing:

I’m rooting for all y’all ladies out there 😘 be safe girly pops!

It’s hard out here for women, and people (including women) don’t care about us when it protects their favorite men

this is such an excellent post lmao thank you for this anon cause the girlies have lost their damn minds when it comes to speculating about athletes cheating. none of us are safe and i think that’s the main point we have to remember

[richincolor]

We have three books on our radar this week! Are any of them on your TBR list?

Their Vicious Games by Joelle Wellington

A Black teen desperate to regain her Ivy League acceptance enters an elite competition only to discover the stakes aren’t just high, they’re deadly, in this searing thriller that’s Ace of Spades meets Squid Game with a sprinkling of The Bachelor. You must work twice as hard to get half as much. Adina Walker has known this the entire time she’s been on scholarship at the prestigious Edgewater Academy—a school for the rich (and mostly white) upper class of New England. It’s why she works so hard to be perfect and above reproach, no matter what she must force beneath the surface. Even one slip can cost you everything. And it does. One fight, one moment of lost control, leaves Adina blacklisted from her top choice Ivy League college and any other. Her only chance to regain the future she’s sacrificed everything for is the Finish, a high-stakes contest sponsored by Edgewater’s founding family in which twelve young, ambitious women with exceptional promise are selected to compete in three mysterious the Ride, the Raid, and the Royale. The winner will be granted entry into the fold of the Remington family, whose wealth and power can open any door. But when she arrives at the Finish, Adina quickly gets the feeling that something isn’t quite right with both the Remingtons and her competition, and soon it becomes clear that this larger-than-life prize can only come at an even greater cost. Because the Finish’s stakes aren’t just make or break…they’re life and death. Adina knows the deck is stacked against her—it always has been—so maybe the only way to survive their vicious games is for her to change the rules.

Rana Joon and the One and Only Now by Shideh Etaat

This lyrical coming-of-age novel for fans of Darius the Great Is Not Okay and On the Come Up, set in southern California in 1996, follows a teen who wants to honor her deceased friend’s legacy by entering a rap contest. Perfect Iranian girls are straight A students, always polite, and grow up to marry respectable Iranian boys. But it’s the San Fernando Valley in 1996, and Rana Joon is far from perfect—she smokes weed and loves Tupac, and she has a secret: she likes girls. As if that weren’t enough, her best friend, Louie—the one who knew her secret and encouraged her to live in the moment—died almost a year ago, and she’s still having trouble processing her grief. To honor him, Rana enters the rap battle he dreamed of competing in, even though she’s terrified of public speaking. But the clock is ticking. With the battle getting closer every day, she can’t decide whether to use one of Louie’s pieces or her own poetry, her family is coming apart, and she might even be falling in love. To get herself to the stage and fulfill her promise before her senior year ends, Rana will have to learn to speak her truth and live in the one and only now.

Infested by Angel Luis Colón

The Taking of Jake Livingston meets Cemetery Boys in this YA ghost story about a Puerto Rican teen’s battle with a malevolent spirit targeting his apartment building and the all-too-real horrors of gentrification. It’s the summer before senior year, and Manny has just moved from Texas to the Bronx in New York. So, instead of hanging with his friends and making some spending money, Manny is forced to do menial tasks in his new home, a luxury condo his stepdad is managing, while stressing about starting over. Thankfully, he meets Sasha, who is protesting the building but turns out to be really cool. And he strikes up an unlikely friendship with Mr. Mueller, the building’s exterminator. Maybe life in the Bronx won’t be so bad. Then the nightmares begin. And Manny swears he has roaches crawling under his skin. When building contractors start to go missing, Manny and Sasha come to the terrifying realization that Mr. Mueller is not who he says he is. Or rather, he is, but he died decades ago in a fire exactly where Manny’s new building is located. A fire that Mueller set. Now, in a race against time, Manny must rescue his family from a deranged specter determined to set the Bronx ablaze once again.

[katyspersonal]

Canon ship-worthy Bloodborne moments (compiling in case if I need it)

+ Gascoigne and Viola are an actual canon couple, even with two daughters!

+ The way Maria is concerned about Adeline's well-being specifically, with not wanting her to become blood saint and giving her the key, and Adeline likewise keeping her in mind

+ Gascoigne and Henryk were hunting in a pair! Possibly what hunters do often (for 360 degree vision so no beast crawls from behind), but that can be a good bond, plus clearly Henryk still cares for Gascoigne. (can never be 100% sure if Henryk is an actual 'grandpa' figure or they just refer a close family friend this way or that's just how they explained that to a little girl sdhdsh)

+ Other characters kicking our ass in a pair - like Forgotten Madman and his escort guy, the two ladies near Surgery Altar, two Hunters of Despair, two Yahar'gul hunters near the chapel). Honourable mention - the three Yahar'gul hunters that smashed a convenient lamp, and 'Djura and his three companions'.

+ Ebrietas grieving Rom ;-; Well, "death" for Great Ones probably is a bit different than for actual mortals, but in either case she has a reason to miss her in a loss kind of way

+ "Yharnamites don't like talking about their history" [ten minutes later] Hunter meets Alfred who is nothing BUT happy to infodump them about Yharnam's story and his special interest xD

+ Adella stalking hunter from around the corner and being way too concerned about the fact hunter accepts "dirty" blood, to the point of murdering Arianna if we do that too much. Questionable as it is a yandere trope but it is here.

+ Gehrman having such tender feelings for Maria that the warmth he put in her hair ornament moved the Doll to the point of crying tears of joy + Maria having very good feelings towards him (idealisation, admiration, crush - the word for it is vague in original and can mean many things). At least until she presumably was disappointed with his "curiosity". (could also be platonic, though)

+ The way Gehrman calls out for Laurence in his nap.

+ The way Valtr speaks of other League members. Honourable mention - Madaras Twin attacks you not only if you attacked Valtr, but also if he willingly passed the status to the hunter and numbers game'd himself. Clearly he is in the League not for the mission but for Valtr, and he just knows you are to blame if Valtr is gone.

+ Micolash and Wet Nurse are both against Queen Yharnam as she is crying near Wet Nurse's boss arena where her child is, implying she can't enter. Basically Mico and Wet Nurse raise the same child they kidnapped xD Feels like a very family activity, even if he clearly thinks about other women (Kos, or some say Kosm) in the bed :(

+ Whatever happened between Dores, Willem and Gatekeeper. Lore says both Dores and Gatekeeper accompanied Willem in the dungeons and lost their sanity together, but still remained loyal to their lord, take as you will.

+ Annalise and the deceased king of Cainhurst. It could have been a loving/voluntary marriage!

+ For the same reason, Queen Yharnam and whoever was her 'husband'. Depending on your versions it could be Oedon or some pthumerian guy blessed by the ritual from ring of bethrothal. Either case, she was SOMEONE's bride.

+ Emilia and Laurence, potentially! Could be entirely parasocial (as her growing around narrative of Laurence rather than knowing him), or entirely religious, but more or less it lays plain than average potential ship.

+ Edgar attacking us leads to him protecting Micolash, that doesn't line up with his affiliation with the Choir. He also does that 'Joy' gesture if he kills us XD Could be him having lost his sanity and controlled, but also it could be his decision.

+ Yamamura has throwing knives in his data, that are trademark of Henryk! Considering both characters were in the League, it could mean Henryk taught him to throw them, and considering Valtr's praised intimacy between the members... yeah

+ Whatever went down between like, four characters. Simon speaks fondly of Ludwig, Yamamura recites Healing Church hunters' prayer in the jail cell, Yamamura being a summon for Yahar'gul, another Yahar'gul hunter (not Antal btw) being in the same jail, Gratia being in the same jail, Simon having Fist of Gratia in his data... Anything could have happened between either of characters!

+ When we attack Lonely Old Dear, she notices the 'just like your father' - past the point she began confusing us for her child, so she has had a husband.

+ Julie attacking us when even Willem himself urges us to hunt Rom, and EVEN Damian, a Mensis Scholar is a summon to fight Rom. Could be her winning time for Imposter Iosefka, or could be her protecting Rom even despite common sense.

+ Potential of Crow of Cainhurst loving either Queen Annalise or Maria. He serves the Queen as the guard seeking blood dregs in blood-drunk hunters, but also Old Hunter's Bone is Maria's.

[redwineconversation]

Lotta Schelin Their Pitch Podcast Transcript

I wish I could put into words how resentful I am at having to transcribe a 90 min podcast just because some of y'all keep insisting on taking a quote about Lyon out of context.

Available on Spotify, I am not affiliated with Their Pitch in any shape or form nor have I ever begged them to contribute to my Starbucks fund, don’t want to commit to transcribing every podcast but it’s also directly related to how much much I want to avoid doing chores and/or people getting shit wrong about my team, blah blah you know the speech. I really wish they'd do Renard but her English isn't good enough for that to happen.

Also I'm bilingual in French/English, not Swedish, and absolutely do not have the self-confidence to even guess the spelling of some of the Swedish words they use, so if you see [Swedish term] it's just me accepting the limitations of my linguistic skills.

Finally, if you're going to post this transcription outside of Tumblr, pls just link instead of a mass copy/paste.

HOST: Lotta Schelin is one of Sweden's most successful football players of all time. Five times, she has won the Diamantballen as the Player of the Year in Sweden. And when playing with the multiple French Champions Lyon, she won the Champions League three times. From playing 185 games in the Swedish National Team shirt, Schelin scored 88 goals. The former striker has played professionally for Landvetter FC, now known as Göteborg FC before joining Olympique Lyonnais and FC Rosengard. Since Schelin stopped playing football, which she sadly was forced to due an injury in her neck, she has written a book and appears for both men and women's football on TV. In this episode, we talk about her career on and off the pitch, what made her move to France to play with Lyon, what she thinks is demanded from strikers in the game today. You are listening to Their Pitch, and this is the Lotta Schelin episode.

Host: Welcome back to a new episode of Their Pitch. Today we're Lotta Schelin, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing?

Schelin: I'm doing fine, thank you. And you guys? Are you alright?

Host: I'm doing very well, thank you. I'm a little sick. I've been sick for a while. You'd assume I have small kids at kindergarten, I don't. But that's how sick I've been lately, so.

Schelin: Oh no. That's not a good sign.

Host: Lotta, because I'm Swedish, I know how to pronounce your name. But I assume a lot of people have found it difficult throughout your career, pronouncing your name career. Maybe in France even. Would you like to tell us how to pronounce your name correctly?

Schelin: My name, like strictly correctly, is Lotta Schelin. Then I know, like, my American friends, my French friends, they say it like Shelling. That's totally fine. But Lotta Schelin.

Host: Lotta, we do have two quotes from people who know you. I'm going to start with the person that I said you would wonder how I got a hold of this person. And I'm going to read it to you, you're going to guess who it is, and then we're going to go on to the next one.

Host: "For me, it's always been easy to catch Lotta out of balance. She was the quickest and had the best technique, and it was incredibly hard to get the ball off of her. She was completely superior, but I had other tricks that kept our duels 50-50. Sometimes fair, sometimes not."

Schelin: Got it. I think this is my sister. I don't know if it's true.

Host: Yeah. It is your sister, Camilla.

Schelin: I can totally see that. It's kind of true what she says. You got me when you said balance. She could totally get me off balance with all her tricks.

Host: Yeah. I liked the "sometimes fair, sometimes not."

Schelin: Exactly. And often it wasn't fair. And she was always - yeah. If it was fair, then it was 110 percent - her tackling was 110 percent [intensity] against me and maybe 90 percent against others. Even if it's kind of fair, it's not really fair. And after that, it was everything. Everything. She could do anything and she knew I would be mad.

Host: And she knew she was going against you and not the ball.

Schelin: Yeah, for sure, for sure. I got irritated and mad, and that would get me out of balance, so. Because the way - only her, only her. Only this person could make me go mad like that.

Host: That's funny. That's what siblings are for, right?

Schelin: Yeah, for sure.

Host: I do have another quote here. I'm going to read it to you. This one's quite long, so it has a lot of detail. I think it's going to make you smile, and I think you're going to get it quite easily, but I'll start. And if you don't get it easily, we can cut out that part of me saying you're going to get it easily.

Schelin: No, no. That's going to stay for sure.

Host: "Lotta Schelin is one of the people who taught me most about myself and I value our friendship highly. It started off a little rocky though. When Lotta came into my life, she was a youngster at the very start of her career. I saw her only as a traditional talent, someone who had the possibilities to become the best but mentally I doubted she knew what it would take. She came late to training, and when I asked about the strength training, she told me "we do it individually on Wednesdays. But since we run on Thursdays, nobody does it because we don't want to be tired for the runs." Lotta and me were the complete opposites. That's what I thought at least. She had everything going for her on the field, and I was struggling with performance anxiety. I was training like crazy and she was training just enough and always performing the best. Tension got built up, jealousy from my side and maybe from her side, more of a "why does she have to take everything so serious?" After only a couple of months, we sat down, just Lotta and I. I addressed my feelings, the frustration I felt when she was late. I remember I was using very strong words. She told me about how she felt, everyone was judging her, no one saw the efforts she did, just seeing her as a talent and thinking "a talent can't be working hard." It was a very emotional 30 minutes at a parking lot in Gothenburg in 2005, and for me, it was the start of our friendship. During the last 17 years of friendship, Lotta has been growing on me every year. She's shown me again and again that her mentality is stronger than mine. She has been inspiring me by going against what every expert said was the right thing to do. When she moved to France, people might not remember this, but when Lotta went to Lyon, everyone said "it's just for the money and they don't even have a good league. She will never develop as she would have done in Sweden." But Lotta went anyway and became a legend not only at the club but at international football. She's been inspiring me by her smartness and her mental strength in football, but also in life. The way she entertains the whole table, and the fun in Lotta has always impressed me. Even when I was pissed at her, early early in our relationship. And in the end, I don't remember her as one of the biggest talents in football, but as one of the biggest professionals the game has ever had. With the highest ambitions, super aware of what it takes to reach the top, be the best and stay there. 7-37 [Swedish term]."

Schelin: That can only be like maybe 2 persons. I think - oh, now I don't know which one it is. I think it's Lissa [I am absolutely NOT sure about this].

Host: Yeah, that's correct.

Schelin: it was between her and Maria Karlsson. But totally [Lissa]. She is such a great storyteller. This was a story. But if it's true, I'm so humbled. I'm amazed by her talent, how she can like, express herself. She's a really special person for sure. And that's so true. We kind of had an argument, and she was really like - she was really mad about me being a little bit late. Sometimes. And when we talked, I totally understand for her, it was like a lot of respect, or lack of respect maybe when you were late. And I couldn't see that before. But when we talked about it, I totally understood her. It's true, that was like the beginning of something. Sometimes you just have to lift things up and talk about it, and afterwards it's so much easier to know what your expectations are, to try to fulfill those expectations. At least as much as you can. So yeah, okay. That was amazing. And I'm really happy that she gave you that quote.

Host: Yeah, me too. For us - I must say this. It's hard to know who has a connection and who does not. You go on social media and you're like "oh, they have a picture together, how about this?" Because in my job as a journalist, I am in contact with [Lissa], I have to call her, I have to ask things. And then I went onto your Instagram, and there's a picture of you guys sitting at a table. And she goes "do you know what's so funny about that picture?" And I said no. And she said "nobody knew I was pregnant." And Lotta who never posts on Instagram uploads that picture where I was pregnant with the twins.

Schelin: Oh no. I don't even put a lot of photos on my Instagram. That's a little bit typical.

Host: I knew I hit the jackpot as soon as she was like "yes! I would love to do it, I would love to do it! I know -" and then she was like "hmm, maybe I shouldn't say that." And she was like, "maybe I shouldn't tell those stories."

Schelin: Yeah, we have a couple of stories that shouldn't be told, that's for sure. [laughter] But this one was nicer. It's also important to be like - for sure in football, just work with other people, you know? We are so different. Everyone's different. Everyone has different ways of achieving what they want and seeing how to achieve it together. Sometimes we just have to like, talk about things. At least try to find a common path towards what you want, you know? And we did that. We're really different but we did that. When you find that, it's like [clicking sound]

Host: I think - that's what I was talking about at the start there. When you did start your career, she mentioned it in the quote, do you think that people didn't see the hard work that you put in?

Schelin: No, maybe not. I don't really know if I was thinking about it. I just did everything that I was supposed to do, I think. And I didn't really understand what she's talking about, like being on time, and like, you know, things like that. Everything around that. I was more of an easygoing person maybe and thought things weren't as important. I didn't understand maybe that I had to put all this effort in, like extra effort, because I hadn't thought about it so much. Anyways, I think that [Lissa] was one of the persons who showed me, and others, too, showed me that of course you can be different, but at least we have to try and find this common path. And I think they look at me sometimes and felt like, it's so easy for her. But I felt I did everything as much as I could, everything that I could to stay there, to stay at this great level, you know. So yeah. Maybe sometimes they didn't see everything they felt like that I did or like didn't think that I was thinking about it. I thought about everything.

Host: Was it frustrating at all?

Schelin: Yeah, sometimes for sure. Yes. But you know, the thing in the end was that you give everything for the team, and I think that I had such a high expectation on myself and sometimes maybe it was frustrating if they didn't see that. Like, if you have a bad day, it's not always about talent. You're just having a bad day. And something like if you're having a bad day, you just had to lean on someone even if you were one of the best. It was hard, you know, to be able to do that. But in the end in Gothenburg, everyone was like - that was one thing that I was not longing for, but was a little bit sad to lose when I went to France and Lyon, all these great people that always had your back. We had the backs of each other all the time. And when I came to Lyon, I was like "okay, oh my God, this is - I have to be an individual. No one was going to pick me up if I fall." This is the professional life, you know? You have to take care of yourself. But you know, in the end you see that even in Lyon, that we had a lot of people take care of each other also. But in the beginning it was tough.

Host: How different was it coming to the French league from Sweden for you? How was that for you, adapting to it?

Schelin: It was really hard. It was tough. The thing was like, I came in August. So like August, September, October. It felt like I was on a camp or something. And I just like, I had all this energy, like riding on this energy from there, so much fun. And in my performance, I was doing well also. But in January, after 4-5 months, I started to really feel like "oh my God, this is really different." I didn't know the language. And you know everything that you had in Sweden, that's so natural, all these things that I said, like in Sweden we're all about the team and you help in other. And in Lyon, it was more of an individual part. Like I had to pick myself up if I didn't have a good day and all this. And a different way of playing, you know. I was so used to getting the ball in front of me when I did my runs. And sometimes they were putting the balls in my heels because they like, they always pass the ball on your feet. And you know - they learned, they saw that I was different and that I saw that they were different, and you know, it was working really good. But you know, the first year was such a - I had to adapt in so many ways, and also in the every day life. So, culture differences in the ways of playing football and culture differences in the society and everything. On top of that, a language that I didn't know at all. So I felt like a kid when I was communicating and everything. My smile, that was the only thing I could communicate with sometimes. So it was difficult. But like I said, it was so important for me to have the three first months, because I was just riding on it and feeling so well. And the other, how do you say it, the other part of the season was tougher. But it was really nice for me to have the first part, because that made me feel a little bit secure, that like "okay, they saw that I had a certain level, at least." Even if I didn't have that in the end of the first season. So, hard, but just, yeah, just important to continue.

Host: In the end you ended up playing there for a couple of seasons ["a couple" is doing a lot of work here, Schelin was at Lyon from 2008 - 2016]. And as [Lissa] mentioned in her quote, becoming a club legend, a move that she also said was questioned. Why do you think you always believed in taking the step out of, what was at the time one of the best leagues in Europe, and going to the French league?

Schelin: I mean exactly, I - in that sense, that's one part that I am keeping with me, the part that I like listened to my intuition or whatever, my heart, I don't know. You can call it what you want. I just felt like it was time for me after eight years in the Damallsvenskan and Göteborg for me to do something different, and I was totally ready. And I thought about the US because, you know, they started something, a couple of teams, maybe, maybe. And suddenly this French team comes up. And I only had - I was like "okay, they only had two good games against Umea." A lot of people in Sweden thought they were looking really good. That was the only thing that I had with me. And I heard them tell me that they wanted to win the Champions League. So for me that was the only thing. And I just thought, okay, I'm kind of ready. I can do this, I can try this. I get to be a professional. And, you know, I can always go home. That was kind of my intent. Yeah, I signed for two seasons. But I thought to myself, if I was to go home after one [season], it's going to be alright. So it's just something I wanted to try. And I'm so happy that I did, of course, because it was amazing, an amazing club and an amazing team. But not at that point when I came. It developed to be this amazing team. But I'm happy that - because, you know, the [voices] weren't all good, of course, they didn't know, and I didn't know that much either. I had to go there, and to try, and to see. Just happy that I did, because it was a lot of change going on, in the French league and in French football.

Host: And they did say that they wanted to, you know, compete for real in the Champions League and win the Champions League. But how was the league and the competition in the league? Was it good, high level?

Schelin: No, I can't say that it was high level. The thing was that when you come to the team, you see all these great players. Like technically, they were amazing. And I was like, "what is this? Is this for real?" They were really good. And we needed a couple of years, we needed maybe a change of coach and everything. And in the end we got to be this amazing team. And you can look at it in the same way, with other teams, it was the same. I played against these teams, and maybe we won 10-0, but they were really technically - they got a lot of technical skills. The thing was that I saw with them is that they didn't practice enough, or, you know, well enough to be physically good to compete with Lyon, with Paris Saint-Germain, Juvisy at the time [now Paris FC], Montpellier. So we were like four teams that were really good, and the others normally you couldn't be beaten by them. But it was amazing during these eight years what happened. They practiced more and more. And like I said, so many great football players just had to start practicing more and know how to be professional. So that was a journey in that too, and still, I think. But I look at the Swedish teams, even when my sister played in Division 2 or something like that, 1 maybe. I know that she went practicing four times a week. So they were really physically good. And I talked to the other girls playing in the smaller clubs, and they would practice twice, maybe three times. That was the biggest difference. Technically, really nice football players, all of them.

Host: And when we talk about Lyon and your time in France, it makes me think back to your book where you talk about your previous coaches, and your experience with him [Patrice Lair]. I'm not going to put any words in your mouth. You describe him as leading with some sort of dictatorship, if I'm not mistaken.

Schelin: Yeah, yeah. You know, management by fear is common to a lot of people. And it was kind of like that. You know, I always - even when I do my - when I do my speeches or when I go to clubs and speak about my career or organizations, I'm always like "I'm totally forgiving him, because what he did to the team was amazing." Like, you know what I mean? He was so hard. Like he was always telling everything that he saw or thought about, he said it to the whole team, even if it was one person. And he was screaming, had a couple of tough words, and that was his game, you know? It was his kind of - he knows that he was like that, you know. He said it himself. He told us, normally he stays in a club one or two years, that's it. He knew that was his limit with his kind of style. But he stayed for four years. That was the problem. The first year he came in, amazing, he was so straight forward. He took a lot of players from doing maybe 70 percent in practice and even in games, like he took them right up to 100 percent. You can totally understand why he'd do that. They're good players who started to be amazing. We didn't stop when we had a lead of 4 or 5-0. We would win with 10-0, because every girl, every football player, they were at 100 percent all the time. He demanded that, you know, if you wanted to play, or if you wanted to play the next game. So he was really pushing us. And I can say that he put this winning culture in the walls, as they say in Sweden. He put it right into that team. That's kind of amazing. So I totally give him that. That was the right person, the right way of like getting each player into their highest level and how to get there. And he had a vision of everything. So Champions League, we didn't lose with him for three and a half years, that was amazing. But it was really, really tough. And mentally - I told you in the beginning, my only way of expressing myself was my smile. Like smiling at people, trying to communicate. The two last years with him I didn't smile. It's always interesting with these kind of things. We need that, at that time, in the beginning. And then when you couldn't, like, everyone to the highest level should be able to take care of that. You can't continue screaming and punishing, and you know, things like that. It doesn't - it works, maybe, yeah. We won a lot. But I think that as a human being, it wasn't mentally healthy. So I think that a lot of girls, like good players like Megan Rapinoe, were like "no". She couldn't stay, because it was just like no, human-wise, it wasn't alright with her. So that's my biggest thing about this. But I totally understand that when he came in in this young French team club, I totally understand that that's what we needed. Because they're also used to tougher, another hierarchy or I don't know how to say in English. But that was only good but he never could have gone into - like when I said we played in Gothenburg, we're a team, everyone did their best. It wouldn't have worked for one week I think. All the girls would have said "no, this is not okay." And if I had to switch somebody, I had the coach from Gothenburg. If I take him to this environment with the French girls, no. They would have like - they wouldn't have understood why he asked us what to do. Or he's like really diplomatic and just like really different. They would be like "no, we don't understand, just tell us what to do." So if you can see it in this way, you can also understand that it is different cultures and different mentalities from parts of the leadership. And I totally get that and respect that. But yeah, it was too tough. It was two years too much. That's for sure.

Host: Do you think that Patrice Lair ever crossed that line? Because you mentioned in your book where he was getting kind of like paranoid, looking at interviews and stuff like that. Did he ever cross a line that for you was like not okay?

Schelin: We have a couple of lines that were crossed for sure. At least I, for my part, I told him everything, you know. I even did it before. Because he was honest with everything, so you could be honest too even if you were thinking totally different things than he was. I told him everything, and what I thought was wrong, you know. And that's the most important thing for me, because I want to believe that I am honest person. But I'm also like, kind of loyal and everything like that. So that was the hardest part, because you're loyal to the team, you're loyal to the coach and everything. And even if you thought a lot of things were wrong, when you're winning and you're doing everything right on the pitch, you don't want to create problems for the team, you know, just because you had problems with - you just take it. And that's the bad part of leadership, I think. When you're just taking too much shit if you can put it like that. Because in the end, that was my - when I was thinking a lot about it at the time, it was just like "do you have to feel this way? Does it have to be so, so tough like this to be able to win?" That was a real question. Like, is this what it takes? And maybe. I don't know. It's just that I have the National Team on the other side, and it just felt like my kind of leadership and what I wanted, or how I wanted to lead. It's not like that at all. In the end it was like, "no, I don't think so." I think that you can at least have a part where you don't like, you don't have to push people down to be able to win. No. I don't think so.

Host: We're going to move on to Damallsvenskan. It's gone through quite a lot over the years. Have you followed it at all since you stopped playing yourself?

Schelin: Yeah, I follow some. I haven't been watching like every game, but of course the results and everything. And then with the National Team and everything, you follow it. I think it's good this year, you know, with how you got to see highlights and stuff like that. That makes it so much easier to follow.

Host: What do you think of the development? Do you think - because as we said at the beginning, when you started out it was one of the best leagues. And now it's lost some places in the ranking. And how - what do you think about this development from the sidelines, being a TV pundit expert within football. What do you think about that?

Schelin: Exactly what kind of pundit expert? [laughs] Thanks. No, but for sure, like it was so "this is so natural". Even like when I went to Lyon and I saw what they could do, the muscles that they have financially, everything. Like it's - I have no idea, but look at it like this. The guys team, the professional team in Lyon, I have no idea, maybe they're 25, 26 [players]. And if they just put the 26th player, put that guy on the side and put the money in the women's team, just with that kind of money, you could do a lot, you know. So when you see it like that, and see this big club and all this potential, I totally understood early on that this is going to be game-changing, of course, in the women's game. If just big clubs start to invest in the women's game, we don't stand a chance in Sweden, because we don't have these big clubs, even if [lists Swedish teams], they're a great and they are big, but they are - but they're nothing compared to Lyon in what they do in revenues and everything. So I totally understood that Lyon have that kind of power that's not in Sweden. And I say that kind of power is so important to understand, to not be like - to know that in history we've been really good in quality, the work that we've done in Sweden, that reflects in women's football, I think. So that means also that we've come so far when it comes to respect and how you look at it and what you feel is right for the women's game. And that is important, because when I came to Lyon, it took me six or seven years until I felt okay, the whole club understands now. They like the team, you know. [This is super badly phrased but I think she's saying that it took 6-7 years for people to understand Lyon]. It takes time to change peoples' mind. I'm kind of sure that even Juventus or whatever, they have the money, they could do a lot, but to change the mentality, the respect, that's not something you can do in one season. It takes time. And we have that in Sweden. What I wanted to say with that is that we have these things that we have to adjust, hold on to or we won't be able to pay the money. But we can educate, and we will have like - still, even if we don't have much, we will have good situations for the girls to educate in and with the team and everything, and that's important. And when I was starting I was really happy to come to the Swedish culture, coming home to a family and everything. It didn't matter for me that it wasn't this huge stadium and everything, I had everything that I needed, just in a different way. So I think that we just have to remind ourselves that we have really important and really good stuff in Sweden too. But the money, money-wise, no, it's going to be hard. We can still have a good league, education, and the players that we can bring back afterwards. And it's hard also to be abroad. It's not that easy to be a professional, because you can see - I totally understand that Blackstenius when she was in Montpellier and she's more of a shy girl. And you know, it's hard. The French mentality is tough. And if you don't speak the language and everything, it can be tough. And you know, she'll come home and settle, and developing, and being so great that she's right now [LOL at the failure to mention the lawsuit Blackstenius was involved in but whatever]. And we need a good solid equal league in Sweden to be able to do that. That's my "short" answer. I try to be, but there's so much [to say]. But I think that we have to see our good side.

Host: Do you think there is anything that the league should do to, you know, be more attractive? Because now we see more of a development league for players, that they come here, they develop, and then they leave. Maybe do a celebratory return when they're done. Like, "okay, I'm back" and then they quit playing. Do you think there's something they need to do keep the players, because there's a lot of Swedish players, but not enough of -

Schelin: Yeah, you know, it's going to be hard. It's got to be interesting for them in so many ways to go abroad for them, you know. It's going to be tough. But right now, for instance, when we talk about everything - ooff, you know, in English now - when you talk about situations for the players. And now we talk about collective bargaining agreements. It's not that easy, but something like that. And right now they stopped it and the negotiations, they're not going forward and all this. And that's what I don't like. I just want the Swedish football and Damallsvenskan to just be the best at that point, you know? Collective bargaining agreement, just like, really good situations for the players: "you can come to Sweden, you're going to be safe, be able to be a mom if you want to." You know, all those things. Just like be in the front of the line at least, you know. And if you can do that, I think it's going to help a lot. Just look at [Swedish player] for instance. Hacken, they're making such a good situation for her. She wants to stay. And for sure she can go abroad, you know. And of course that can change. But I just want to be like, that's a way of doing it. Just be in the front of the line with all these rights. I don't like it when girls are talking about maybe it's going to be worse. No. No. That's the least we can do be in the front of the line.

Host: And we're going to move on to the National Team. Obviously you had a very long career and an amazing career to say the least with the National Team. You were forced to quit due to injury. You didn't get to decide when to stop playing. How was that for you, to not be able to make that decision yourself?

Schelin: You know, I've always told myself exactly the same: of course. Because who doesn't want to quit by like - you know, you want to quit by yourself. That's the easy thing to say because it's so obvious. So I totally felt the same. But at the time, when I had to stop, I think also that I've had the problems since so long, like maybe 10 years. I struggle with these headaches, and I struggle with getting tackles, all these things for my head and for my neck. I couldn't do headers. I couldn't do headers in practice. And you know, for such a long time, I slowly just took things away that I couldn't do. "Okay, now I can't read." Okay, now I won't read. Now I can't do this, now I can't do that. And in the end it was like, I can't even put - I went to the Euros in 2017 before stopping, it was just like - I felt like I was so sick. I had these headaches every single day. And I just struggled to be on the pitch. And I knew at that point, when you look at it during 10 years, I kind of like also - like, okay, I didn't want to stop at that point. I wanted to choose for sure. But I was like leaving it to me to say that I am also very happy that I could play at that level for 10 years and more, you know, because it was a struggle sometimes. So I kind of leaned on that. And I think I kind of told myself that. And I don't know if it was totally true, but I could at least be a little bit - how do you say, relieved by seeing it like this. The toughest part for me was totally being on the pitch 90+ minutes in the Euros, you know? Two months after, couldn't have a small walk without being sick. That was the toughest part. I couldn't do anything in over a year, like work, nothing. Toughest part for sure. But you know, I had this whole year to mourn a little bit. You know, all the friends that you lean on, that you're used to seeing every day. So that was the toughest part, all the relationships. But at the same time, you know, they're still there.

Host: Did you always know what you wanted to do after your career or did that like - did you want to go into coaching, or being a sporting director?

Schelin: No, I didn't know. But I know that - because I did work a little bit with football, and mostly men's football, you know, in competitions, before, even when I was playing. So I knew I felt that that was a lot of fun. So I would think maybe something like that would be great. So that's been amazing for sure. But not like all - I'm still really open to everything. I'm still like enjoying my time and having these - how do you say - projects here and there and with different organizations and everything. But I'm still like, I'm going to do that as long as I can. And afterwards, maybe when I grow up, I'm going to do something else. I have no idea. I'm just enjoying the moment for as long as I can. But no coaching feelings right now at least.

Host: No coaching feelings right now. But what you're doing part of it at the moment as we mentioned it before, TV pundit, expert kind of thing. Which is at TV4. How did that come about? Were you like "yeah I really want to get into TV" or was like, you got an offer that was obvious you were going to say yes to?

Schelin: No, because I was also like really, do I want to do that? Before I was in a situation, you know, where I played football. Everyone has got an opinion of what you're doing all the time. So in in a way I was like "maybe I don't want to do something that -" most of the time, I'm just going to do what I like and what I love. In this case, it was kind of like both TV4 and SVT, they were like, asking around like if I wanted to do it. Because I did some things for them both before. So they were kind of like asking if I wanted to do it. So in that case, that's the kind of thing I liked. And that's the most important thing, you know. Do I like to do that? Yeah. I think it's so much fun. So that was easy in that way, yeah.

Host: I must say though, I do live with my mom and her best friend. I've been doing so since I was three years old. And we were watching the World Cup recently where you were an expert sitting there. And my mom's best friend, who knows nothing about football, she was sitting there and she goes "You know what? When Lotta speaks, I understand what she's saying and I listen." She takes it in. She's like, "I actually -" yeah. "She's very good." I was like yeah, I'm going to tell her.

Schelin: Wow. Okay. That was cute. That's really sweet. That's something that's always nice to hear. And exactly like what you say, it depends so much - that's why I like to talk about the National Team, I think, because it's not so - you don't have to be strictly into all of the tactics, you know? You can talk about everything, like how do you work in a team, or how does it work when there's a tournament and how do you think about losing the first game and how you have to put that aside. You know? It's so much more. It's so much more when it comes to it. That's what I like.

Host: We're going to let you get to the football analysis part in one second. But there's one thing I wanted to talk to you about. We work at the same place, right, for [Swedish football association?] and I did meet you in the hallways not too long ago. And we had quite a nice chat, right? And you mentioned you recently won an award. And you met at this award ceremony, you met Alexia Putellas. Or she met you, rather.

Schelin: I don't know, I don't know. We met each other at least.

Host: You met each other. And you told me a nice story. I'm going to let you share it.

Schelin: Oh. It was so - it was so cute, because, you know, of course she's a superstar in Barcelona, in Spain that's for sure. That's what you feel when you're over there and that's amazing already. But she's also like the world's best player at this moment. Now she's injured, but before. So yeah we got to talk a little bit, and chat for a while. And it was just so cute because she was telling me a story about her, like 2012 I think it was, and we won our second Champions League at that time. She said that me, and Sonia Bompastor -she's the coach in Lyon - and Camille Abily also, her and us three, she asked us for a photo. She was kind of young, like 18 or so, and we were her idols. So she wanted a photo afterwards after we played them once. And that was kind of cute. So she had this photo with her, before. I don't think she looks at it right now, because it's kind of different. But it's cute when you have all these stories, because I was a young girl, too, like 18 in the beginning, and I looked up to all these great players. I got to play against them, like the girls that played the final in 2003. The year after, I played with all these women that played in a World Cup final. For me that was totally amazing. So it's cute when you can go back and just see.

Host: I've never taken selfies with football players.

Schelin: No, no you haven't. I'm the only one. But it's okay, I understand.

Host: I had to do one up on Alexia Putellas. Sometimes you've just got to beat them. With that being said, we're going to move on to the football analysis.

Host: I actually usually start with this question when I talk to players being active today when on this podcast. But the story behind why you played as an attacker, because every story is different behind that question, so hit me with it. Why did you end up as an attacker?

Schelin: How did I end up as an attacker? Okay, I think that - I think that I've always been an attacker. Like, from the beginning and everything. But when I start to play with [Swedish team], that's Gothenburg right now, or Hacken right now, it changed its name two times. When I started to play, there were these two great goal scorers [names two Swedish players]. They were great. They were so good, and I was just like - to be able to play at all, I had to play on the wing, like in a 4-4-2, the mostly right midfielder. That was so easy for me, because of course I wanted to play. That was a good position, I learned more about defending also. That wasn't that bad. And the same in the National Team, you know. We had [lists two Swedish players], what could I do? If I got to play, I was so happy. So I played a lot on the line, or the midfield. And then what changed? I have no idea. I loved scoring, and I know that when I played in the midfield, I didn't think about it. But when I played on top, I was just like reminding myself "oh my god, this is so much fun". Like to score, to lead the team. But I can't really say when I stopped being a midfielder. Maybe when I was a little bit older or something. But I got the chance when [Swedish players] were injured. And like it was a real eye-opener for me too, because I felt like I had been playing well, kind of, before. And the first game that I got to play as forward, and I scored, so it was like *gasp* amazing good. And I looked at myself and felt that I had been playing better before when I didn't score. So that was like the first big reminder for me that okay, you shouldn't listen to what I'm doing now. You shouldn't listen to the media, because like you have to look at it yourself because it's going to be you're the world's best when you score and you're going to suck when you don't. So that's an interesting pitch. But you have to tell me about the first time. What did you read?

Host: What did I read?

Schelin: No, when I started to be an attacker. You said that there's a lot of stories.

Host: It's just the stories behind, every player is like - everyone has a story. And you know, how they end up in that situation and stuff. So the roles are different and the stories are different. So it's just interesting to know that. And this is also my thing, because you mentioned this yourself for a moment. You're a pundit now, opinions and stuff like that. What's the hardest thing about being a pundit after being active yourself?

Schelin: The hardest thing? That you understand. You understand the players so much, you know. And the hardest thing is you have no idea - and that's why I'm insisting they can't listen to everything. Because I have no idea how the game plan is, what they talk about before going on the pitch, or what kind of role maybe this particular player has. I'm just looking at the whole 11 playing, maybe even 22, and I'm just picking up things like this *snaps fingers*. So I have no idea if - I had a role in 2016, to be in like this middle with 5, and I was just like on the line. It's almost like a defender. Almost. And I did exactly what the coaches wanted. And everyone was asking me about scoring goals, and I'm just doing other stuff. They don't know about which role you have for this game or with this coach and everything. So that's really hard. So you're sitting there with the TV, you just have to keep that in mind and just like watching the game, taking things out, trying to explain. In the end I can't really 100 percent know if that was something already planned.

Host: You're very humble person.

Schelin: Maybe, maybe. With time. I see that with other experts, with time they don't feel as a player anymore. You start to be a little bit more rough or tough maybe. But I'm kind of like that as a person also. That's what's, you know, hard. But in the end I am telling myself like try and explain what you see. Explain as good as you can. Why didn't it work out? Why wasn't she good? You know. That's the best thing to have with you.

Host: I'm very happy that you back me up because I always say this when I watch football. People have opinions. We can see what position they play but we have no idea what their roles are and what the coach has been telling them. So I'm glad I had you to back me up on this. Speaking of tactical things, when you started to play professionally, how much tactical knowledge was demanded from you when you were active, and did it change in any way over the years?

Schelin: Yeah, it did. That's maybe the biggest difference. I was - growing up, I had great coaches in so many ways, I'm so happy about it. I'm happy that I kept on playing with players that were just my team. They weren't the best. Everyone wasn't like the best, of course. But it was important, because in that case you can also learn to understand that you're a team, that you need everyone, and that in your leadership you have to get everyone on the same path. So I'm really happy about that. Of course, I would lack tactics today. When I look at Lyon, and they have the academy for the youngsters, they learn so much from the beginning. And maybe sometimes it takes something away from just having fun, for sure, but they're learning all these things early on. And I started maybe when I was in the [Swedish term], the regional team, you know. That's when I started to get some tactical details and understand things. And even when I started to play in Damallsvenskan, you know, [Swedish coach], he wasn't all about tactics. He wanted me to run. Run on every ball, that was the only thing that I had to do for him. So for me it wasn't tactics in the beginning. It took a lot of runs to read the game for sure. The tactics, not that much. But like with the National Teams, and then with Lyon for sure, it started to be more and more normal with my football to have all this tactical - how do you say, tactics for the game, watching the opponent. It wasn't that much, we didn't have the possibility, you know? Videos at that time, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, no. Nothing. Like what could you do? Maybe because we played them last year we knew that maybe they had this player who would usually do this. So when I came to Rosengard, it had changed. He wanted us to go home and like do things at home, you know? Studying and stuff. And I'm not like that at all. It was at the end of my career so I just felt "oh my god, no, I'm not in school." But I totally understand, and it's important and good that they have this ability. But it's important also to listen to different kind of players and what they want. A lot of them want to know about the opponent and a lot of them doesn't want to know, because I usually just wanted to go by intuition. It's been kind of my thing.

Host: It's been working out pretty well, I must add. The thing that we often hear is that these players have to be very flexible. Because you can play in a club. You played for a club, Lyon, that you were pretty dominant in every game, played a certain way. I heard in another podcast where you talked about this. Because you played in Lyon, and you were very dominant on the ball, and you played with a high back line, pushed up very far and you won games all the time. And then in 2015, I think, the Swedish National Team, they did take on a "reacting" playing style. So we can see players coming to the National Team today from having both a completely different position and roles, then they are supposed to come into the Swedish National Team. We saw that happening in the Euros this summer [2022]. So what was that like for you, coming from Lyon into the Swedish National Team with that being said?

Schelin: Yeah, exactly. But you know, [it's] really hard sometimes. And of course it's for some players - for me, not so much. But yeah, a little bit also playing in a different role maybe, a different - we play 4-3-3 in Lyon, mostly. In Sweden we're really strong in our 4-4-2. And that was the most common style of play. So yeah, it was really different. Of course that's also a thing. You learn things and you want to apply them in the National Team or in other environments. It's the same in Lyon, because they were - they were saying like they were playing, how do you say that, [Swedish term] - like solo marking, yeah. Like they said that but like in practice you only did it. On the field, it was a lot of marking. Like, it's really different. So sometimes it was frustrating at both [teams]. But I'm like such a Swede, so it was mostly tougher for me, like, in Lyon, when I had to think differently sometimes. But like you say, it's easy also, because we were pressing so high. Our best way of defending was our offense. It was really like that. And you can win so much with that, like I said before. It's like with the US all these years. You start the game and they are taking all these advancing - 15 minutes, straight away, we are backing [away]. And that's so easy for them. They have all this confidence in that. That's like important meters to take. Important meters for them and for us to push back straight away. It's like a mental thing also. But that's what we had with Lyon. So that was really different. But I don't know which way was the worse in the end, but like I totally wanted to put some of my experience into the National Team and some of my experience from Sweden and the National Team into Lyon, for sure. For Lyon it was also good to have, like, different - they had a lot of French players, like the key, but they also took in some foreign players who made the team very well, because it was a good balance. But it was hard for some of them. Like, I don't know if you remember, [Name of player], she was a Norwegian player, captain and everything. She had a hard time, because it was so - she was so good in like pacing herself right, working together, with the other play she was so smart. But the others players in Lyon were like going on runs, following players - it was so hard for her to understand how she should be positioned. That's really interesting. And also Seger for sure, because she was the same kind of player. So good at balancing and knowing how to put herself in the midfield and offense, but it's hard when all around it doesn't work as she does. It was two players - I didn't see Seger, but for sure I know that that could be a problem sometimes. Maybe for her too I don't know.

Host: Yeah. I mean it's just such an interesting question because I think it's even more [Swedish term] - it's even more visible today when you watch the Swedish National Team, because we have such great players in this national team, we've always had that, but they come from clubs where they play so differently with players around them that aren't even close to being the same in the Swedish National Team, even though our team is good. And you can really see that, because the kind of development the game has at the moment, it's in the details. And this actually - when you look at a striker now, the position as a striker, is it something more or less demanded from an attacker today compared to when you played, do you think?

Schelin: Maybe. But one thing that I developed in Lyon was like work I did in the box. I don't know to say it - in the penalty area, like in front of the goal. Because of course in Lyon we play like that, too. So much more crosses into the penalty area. You have to work with that. So that's nothing like I wanted with before. In Sweden, we had defenders when we worked in front of the goal, because you also have to - but technically, we never worked only with crosses and shots and headers. In Lyon, we did that a lot. I felt I was so bad in the beginning because that wasn't my - that wasn't where I was the best. Nowadays, even in Sweden, you have to - of course you have to do it with the defenders also. I think I see more of that, working more in front of the goal and also just technically doing more. And they know they have to have all these abilities to be able to be one of the best in the position. And sometimes I know that Stina [Blackstenius], she's moving in the same areas as me, and I know that she feels that there was more space maybe, before. I had taken that space. So I could move on the whole pitch almost. And I think nowadays maybe, but not always, maybe from a No. 9, they want more working in the center of the corridor, like not working on the outsides as I did, because I could often find myself in positions doing the cross. Maybe I think they want to have the attackers more in the center. That's a feeling, I don't know if it's true.

Host: I have two more questions. One, do you still watch Lyon play, and when you watch them, what do you see today?

Schelin: I watch them as much as I can, but not like every game or anything like that. Sadly, I don't have the time really. But in the Champions League and everything, I can follow them and then I watch them for sure. Of course it's a little bit different, they're still - apparently they're still as good because they won the Champions League, so they're totally fine. But even like before, I feel they have - they still have this core. We talked about winning mentality they got with Patrice [Lair], I got with Patrice [Lair] - it's still there. And they still have the core of players, like Wendie Renard, Eugenie Le Sommer, and now they have Bompastor and Abily as coaches. They have this core. They know what to do and how to do it, for sure. But -

Host: I think they miss a No. 9 at the moment.

Schelin: Umm, at the moment, for sure, for sure. You could see that last year, when Ada [Hegerberg] came back, it was like totally different. And that was why they were able to win. That's for sure. So when they lose M'Bock in the defense and Hegerberg, again, it's like - it's a little bit too much. I don't know if they can do it without them. And that's the difference at this point. Before they had all these world players. Now they have to take some from the academy. It costs more and more to get all these great players. That's a big difference. But I'm really like proud of what they're doing. The coaches, Bompastor and Abily, winning the Champions League as coaches too, that they were able to do that. It's always hard, but now it's even harder, so. That's amazing, I'm happy for them.

Host: They had a very good game plan going into that Champions League final. Barcelona had the ball possession, high backline, but then you saw Lyon to be adaptable in that way.

Schelin: Yeah, and that - I just have to say something about that because - because for sure, like when you think of Lyon and how they win and how much they win, you think that they would only have these great technical players, putting the crosses into the penalty area and Ada's there or someone else. Yeah, for sure. But the thing is, since the beginning, they have all these players, but they also have counter attacks. They have that game in their DNA when I played, but also now. They have all these fast players that know exactly what to do when they see the - when they see some space. They're going to use it, you know? They're not going to play into the goal. They don't have to. It's what we saw against Barcelona, that's the main thing.

Host: We actually saw it already. I actually picked up on that when they played - I can't remember if it was in the Semifinal or Quarterfinal when they played PSG. It was against PSG before last year's final. They didn't play the counter attack in the first leg. They adjusted in the second leg, the whole plan. You could see that. If we're going to win this game against PSG, we're going to do it with a counter attacking style. They met Barcelona also who likes to hold the ball. But it was interesting, and I think that's also what makes a good team, that you can play both ways, because there's not many teams that can.

Schelin: No, no. Exactly, exactly. But that's key for their success also. One of the keys.

Host: One of the keys to all the wins. But last question, because I want to know this. Who is the best striker in the women's game according to you and why?

Schelin: Oh my god. There's so many. I kind of want to say Ada Hegerberg, but I know also with her injury and everything... But her style, I love it. She was - I think that she has it all. She's really great in the penalty area, in front of the goal, headers, with every part of her body. And she's kind of fast also, but like she's fast when she is on the great runs, you know? She's doing it fast and with the ball also. She's so clean. But what I saw she's so clean in front of the goal, and that's amazing. And the way she plays with the back at the goal is really good also. It's smart also, two touches, and she doesn't have to do more, you know? That's her game and she's so powerful in that. But at the same time when I say that and I see Popp and how she played in the Euros, she's like - the goals that she scored, no one else can score goals like that, she's amazing. She has to be the best in the penalty area, because she is taking her space and just owning that. You have to give her that, because I played not with her but against her for so long, and what she did at the Euros is impressive. I've seen her play and she's amazing, but coming from injury and all and doing all that. So with that said, and you hear that I like these kind of players for sure. Because they have the mentality, that's all. You can be good, you can be skillful in so many ways, but these two, the mentality is like -

Host: I'm also a big fan of Alex Popp, of course, Ada Hegerberg. So you don't have to convince me.

Schelin: Good. We don't have to say much, we just have to -

Host: Watch some YouTube compilation or something. You know what we are talking about. Well, let's move on to some listeners questions.

Host: Can I just add in before we do that. YouTube compilations. When Mia gave me this assignment, and I had to come up with questions, I was like "what do I do, what's this or that question doing to be?" So when I went on Youtube and I wrote "Lotta Schelin", I saw "Lotta Schelin Best Goals" and thought maybe she can choose one of the goals. But that's not going to be the question, because it was too hard for me to pinpoint when those games were exactly.

Host: Have you moved the questions around now so you can get the one you want?

Host: No, I have not moved them around, so you can take No. 1 and I can take No. 2.

Host: [Fan] wants to know who is the best coach you ever had and why?

Schelin: That's a tricky question. I had a lot of good coaches. When I talk about just like football, everything you do on the pitch, I think Gerard Precher [Lyon coach], the last one, he was really good. It was so much fun going to practice, because it was such fun games and everything in the way we played and tried to do. At least at practice. But like as a leader, it's like [Swedish coaches] - they're so different. This kind of leadership I like, when you can be humble in your leadership. You're like tough and you know what you want, but you can also be like "what do you guys want?" or "take this responsibility". The best for Pia Sundhage, when she saw me, we were coaching each other on the pitch. That was her best moment, you know. So that's good, I think, when you get the players to lead each other and be there for each other. That's good leadership. And maybe it isn't perfect all the time, but these kind of leaders, they also want to change or be better leaders. And you have to be able to do that. And I think that they did that a couple of times.

Host: [Fan] wants to know, you played with so many great football players during your football career. Who is a current player you wish you could have played with when you were active?

Schelin: I think that I would have liked to have played with Miedema if she could have played like behind me. She's so intelligent on the pitch and she sees all the movements and spaces, and I think Stina Blackstenius is having a great time having her around, because she can play a one-touch, and she can just - having the ball for a while, create the perfect opener. That would have been amazing, I think.

Host: Now you're going to have to be a pundit again. [Fan] wants to know how far can Sweden go in the World Cup this summer?

Schelin: It's - all these questions going into a tournament, it's hard. You can just guess, you have no idea. Everyone thought Brazil and Germany were going to play the final in the men's World Cup. It wasn't even close. So I don't really know. With Sweden, the amazing thing with them, even before I played with them, I think they now have a better team -

Host: Playing style?

Schelin: Playing style also. But also like so many players, good players now, on the bench and everything. They have so many alternatives, so they can play different styles and do different tactics. It's easy because you have all these players. So for sure. And Sweden nowadays are - what is it in English - they are controlling the game in a totally different way. Totally different. It was more easy to stop Sweden before, because we liked the space, we liked the runs behind. And if you didn't like the plan we just went home. It was hard. Then they took a big part away, and now we have so many different styles of playing against others. So I would say they could go all the way for sure with the players that they have. No question about it. But like we saw in the Euros, it was far from their best performances, like if you see every game. But it was also like England, they had every player available for every game. Come on. That's amazing. If you started the same 11 every time, everything is already won. I don't think they could have done this without all the COVID things and injuries. It would have been different, for sure. So you have to have - everything has to be in place and the form and the shape of the place. You know, sometimes, I know it too, you're out of shape. If you're out of shape and you're a key player, it's going to be tough. There are so many good teams right now. I'm putting Sweden really high, but I'm very understanding that they have to have everything in place.

Host: [Fan] wants to know, with Stina Blackstenius and Lina Hurtig being two different style of strikers, which style do you think is the most ideal for the National Team, and what kind of players does Sweden want to develop in the position, do you think?

Schelin: I really do like both of these players and their playing style. Stina [Blackstenius], she's so important because she's always doing her runs, pushing the defense down, you know. She's always finding the perfect timing in her runs and everything. That's amazing. And Sweden needs that. Also if we want to play a team and be dominating on the ball, she's really important at that time too. And Lina [Hurtig], she knows all these things too. She can do all these runs and she's kind of fast. But she's also good in the penalty area, with headers and, yeah. For me, the ideal would be to use both. If they can find this extra energy together, and if they can be able to work together, it can be perfect also, because Lina she can be there as a lineup player, a link player. And she also has the speed to be able to catch up with Stina. They can do something together. So yeah, I like both styles and I think we need both styles. I know he doesn't play 4-4-2 often, but if they can do something with that, it would be great. I don't want to see Lina Hurtig sitting on the bench for almost the whole tournament, no. I don't want to do that. There's so much talent and quality in that player.

Host: We have too many good players. We do have to let [Fan] have their second question, because [Fan background] He wants to know what was the role you had in your stint at Lyon, and how were you sold the position when you moved there?

Schelin: It was for sure the No. 9 role. But they wanted me for sure to take my runs early on in the game, because like Patrice [Lair] for instance, he wanted to have this counter attack. And we had Elodie Thomas, she was so fast, faster than me. But maybe I took my runs in a different way than she did. He wanted me to take them and use the space if I could. And in the big games, when you also have an opponent pushing us down, it was perfect. In the big games that I could do the biggest difference, I think. But you know at the same time if we stood high and pushed, I could easily - I was a link up player also. I used my one-two touches and took another position. And that was often in the space afterwards. And when it comes to crosses and everything in the penalty area, I often went on the first post. And that's not always a nice position, because everyone is there and you don't get the ball too often. But someone has to do it to make some space, to create space behind you. So that was kind of like my role. But I felt I like did a big difference in Lyon with my more direct game / play also. We need that sometimes in the bigger games. So it was always a No. 9. But I was totally able to do my runs on the side too, so I could also do the crosses and everything. Because that's what I like the most. I like to move in big spaces and I don't always have to be in top speed. That was what I did. Mostly.

Host: With that being said, we're going to move on to the last and final part. There are fire questions, you're not allowed to think, we just want an answer. Are you good to go?

Schelin: Okay, okay.

Host: It's just one or the other. No explanation, nothing. When active, did you prefer scoring goals or assisting?

Schelin: I - sorry. Scoring goals.

Host: Did you prefer the Euros 2017 kit or the Olympics 2016?

Schelin: 2016.

Host: Winning the Champions League with Lyon or a medal with the Swedish National Team?

Schelin: [laughs] Ohhh. Medal with the Swedish National Team. There weren't that many.

Host: For everyone listening, Lotta hit herself in the face when she got the question. Just so you're aware. On a day off, would you rather watch football or Netflix?

Schelin: Netflix.

Host: Gothenburg or Lyon?

Schelin: Lyon.

Host: That's that. That's a wrap. Thank you so much for being a part of this episode. We appreciated having you on and it was a lot of fun.

Schelin: Thank you. It was nice to be on.

[pazodetrasalba]

Heart and Mind

Dear Caroline:

I have been wanting to write a comment on this post of yours for more than a week, but have kept postponing it because I really, really like it and wanted to leisurely compose and think about it.

Most of the time, the reader who browse through your writings (and all the more so the journalists) tend to pick those 'spicy' takes that are also clipped and decontextualized to paint you in the worst possible light. I would consider it an ethical mandate for such people to at least make the effort of reading one text of yours that does the opposite, and I imagine this is the one I would recommend, as it shows two positive aspects of your personality, your heart and your mind:

Your sensitivity towards people (in this case, nerds with probably low social skills and girl-anxieties), and your going out of your way to do something nice for them.

Your intelligence and ruthless self-analysis, in which you lay bare and think out implications behind your feelings so as to reach the truth, even when it is unflattering.

Life is not a fair place. Some are allotted randomly to good families and to rich countries; others (sometimes the same ones) get some good genes that guarantee health and good looks; some are at the right place and at the right time to get a hold on opportunities that would otherwise be out of their reach. There is no justice or fairness in the universe beyond what we try to create as humans.

It never ceases to amaze me how sensitive our society generally is with income and some other inequalities, and so little with insecurity and unattractiveness. And as you say, there is no judgement to be held against women who hold some men to be unattractive and just attempt to rationalize their dislike for more socially suitable reasons. Even if, when you are at the receiving end, it feels unjust that your attractiveness or lack thereof is the benchmark been used to categorize as 'cool or creepy'. Or rather, as you epitomize, I would say there is something to hold against those people (men or women), which is their indulging in complacent self-deceit. We should just accept that we are superficial, and that our genetic programing biases us in unlikeable ways.

Your six-point conclusion is pure gold, and again shows your faculties to reason and to go against the grain. I don't think sexism in the sciences is inexistent (although probably a bigger handicap is lack of mentors/role models), but I can imagine that in the circles you move (Ivy League universities and such) it is so subdued as to be virtually an epsilon not much greater than 0. And indeed, there's a bias outside of academia in that women are still expected to be less competitive and carry the burdens of homemaking and maternity, which in a merciless and competitive job market is going to be a barrier to achievement -this is something you already touched upon in other posts. And yes, high status males will keep getting away with mostly everything (it could be argued that our current society has actually made things easier for them in the sentimental sphere than any previous society, bar strict polygyny). Nerds will continue to be despised and ridiculed, and the ones on top, or in the middle, always look for somebody or something to trample upon and improve their self-esteem.

Quote:

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

James A. Garfield

[awanderingcanadian]

“Women’s” Sports

For the past two weeks I’ve been ruminating on the future of women’s sports. With the constant evolution of gender identity, sports organizations are now in the murky business of deciding who can compete where. As one of maybe the first generation of Canada females to have free and equal access to sport, (I could join/play anything and never thought about my “right” to do so), I am very aware of the struggles of the generations before me so I could live my sports dreams. My main sport was badminton, a sport naturally set up for equal access with women’s and men’s event, but also a mixed event. I was shocked when I moved to the U.S. to find high school badminton categorized as a “women’s” sport. Basically they had cooked the books to satisfy the letter of the law in Title IX, (and soured my entire opinion of said Title). I also played varsity soccer at university, and I’ve played recreational slo-pitch, (on both women’s and mixed teams). So yes…I’ve been living the dream.

Then I saw something a few weeks back that has me worried. And talking about it, is going to be awkward because it’s a sensitive subject as many of us work to embrace people as they are, as they see themselves, but here I go…

I think we are going to lose the entire realm of “women’s” sports. There, I’ve said it.

Last week I saw a transgender woman playing on a sports team. She clearly dominated because she had transitioned after puberty, and had far superior upper body strength, (a plus in the sport I was watching), compared to any other person in this national championship event. While I strongly support identifying with whatever gender gives you a healthy and happier life, I suddenly realized what this could mean to “women’s” sports: that those of us who are born women and remain so, will be phased out of competitive sport as we can’t possible compete with bigger stronger women who have transitioned to women after puberty. When I realized this, I felt like I had been punched in the gut . Sure, we can still play in recreational or intramural leagues, but what about those of us who yearn for the tough competition? Will we have to have “women’s” and “girly-girl” leagues? WTH?

The reality is that not all sports will be affected, sports where upper body strength and less flexibility is a handicap will be fine. Sports like gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics, etc shouldn’t be affected much, but swimming, volleyball, basketball, racquet sports, rugby, soccer…will all change. If you watch these sports today, the men’s game and the women’s game are profoundly different: to generalize, women’s sports are more technical, men’s sports rely more on power. As we accept more transgender women into women’s sports, it will become more power oriented. This is exactly what I witnessed the other week: when this women was on the field of play, the “power” ramped up exponentially.

While I’ve had some time to lament and cry over the future of “women’s” sports, I’ve also taken some time to think about what we should do about it. Currently post secondary leagues in Canada have restrictions on how many foreign players you can have on your roster. That’s there to protect Canadian players and to grow the sport for Canadians. However, I’m not a big fan of restricting the number of “trans” players a team can have: that seems like further wading into murky waters, but it IS one potential solution I guess? I think I’m leaning towards getting rid of gender identification in sport all together. A few decades ago here in B.C. we had a very strong women’s badminton player. She had come from China, and frankly our women just didn’t give her a competitive game. So, the tournament organizers changed the “Men’s Singles” even to “Open Singles” and she played there. She didn’t win the event, but she did have competitive matches and she was happy, and by the way, the men didn’t find her a walk over either. Thinking sort of along those lines, I’m wondering if we have leagues divided by something like testosterone levels? If your testosterone, (or some other reliable hormone level…I’m not a medical/science professional), is above the dividing level, you play in this league: if it’s below that, you play in that league. I think that something like this eliminates talk of gender identity, gets sport out of subjective decision making, eliminates bias, and still welcomes and encourages everyone to play in competitive leagues. You could also put in a way for people who are eligible to play in the lower hormones league to “play up” if their skill set warrants it, (either by knowing them locally, or by a recognized ranking system at higher levels of competition).

I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I do know that if we don’t address it sooner rather than later, those of us who are born female and identify as female will once again find ourselves on the outside looking in…with our mothers and grandmothers who fought so hard to make space for us, wringing their hands.

[ourlittledinosaur]

Fed is Best

New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.com/fed-is-best/

Fed is Best

I was recently sent an article regarding a woman whose baby was struggling to nurse and basically starving because the baby could not physically remove milk from the breast. After much trial, the mother chose to formula feed. The article’s point? Fed is Best.

I would like to reiterate this point: Fed is Best. (And no I don’t mean the Federal government. I mean that a fed and full child is best. Yes, my mommy brain went there and was confused by the article until my smart brain kicked in.)

This article hit home for me because my son also struggled to nurse and for the first 4 weeks, before we put him on high-calorie formula, he was in fact, a failure to thrive baby.

For those Mommies out there like me who knew from the start of their pregnancy they wanted to breastfeed, and had the motto, “Breast is Best” ingrained in their minds. These Mom’s looked forward to breastfeeding and prepared for it while pregnant. They researched the heck out of it, they asked other Mommies about their experiences, and they, quite literally, dreamed about it. For Mothers who plan so thoroughly, it can be quite a blow when someone suggests putting your baby on formula.

Uh, ex-squeeze me? Did you say formula?

As my midwife put it, “Formula is not the devil.” Upon hearing these words, I rationally knew what she was saying, but emotionally my heart was saying, “But formula is bad.”

Let me say now, it really isn’t. And this is coming from the Mama who had to go take a shower to BAWL HER EYES OUT while my husband gave our baby his first BOTTLE of formula.

Mommies listen. Formula is not “bad”. It can nourish your baby. It can fill your baby’s tummy. It can keep your baby healthy. If you’re a new Mama who is needing to put your baby on formula, that’s ok. There was a time in my very recent past, I truly did not believe that, but it really is all right.

If you really want to, there is still the option to continue to breastfeed. Some options include:

Partial breastfeeding – While working towards your breastfeeding goals, but supplementing with formula or pumped breast milk, nursing can be done to still reap the wonderful benefits. The benefits are what sold us on it in the first place, right?

Exclusive pumping – If nursing your baby simply isn’t a possibility, some mothers choose to pump their breast milk and feed this to their babies in bottles. To read about efficient pumping, click here.

Exclusive formula feeding – This is a perfectly acceptable option. I know, love, and respect my dear friends and family members who have chosen this option.

Now those of you who know my story know that I did whatever it took to breastfeed as much as possible. For me, I used a combination of partial breastfeeding and pumping and worked toward the goal of exclusively breastfeeding. Those of you who KNOW me personally, know that I am as stubborn as they come. I had to constantly check myself to make sure I wasn’t being selfish in my desire to breastfeed. My decision was to salvage nursing using any means necessary. I had the time, determination, resources, and most importantly, the support (my dear, sweet husband is a Saint), to make it happen for my son and me. It was a very difficult path, but one I’m glad I took.

Now, this does not make me a “better” mother than Mama’s who choose to formula feed. These Mommies are amazing women, some of which I learn from every single day. Their wisdom and insight are what make me a better Mother than I could be without their experiences to pull from.

So if you are pregnant and starting your research into breastfeeding or if you are just starting your journey into motherhood, again or for the first time, you will hear over and over again, “Breast is Best” by many reputable organizations such as the La Leche League. There is some very helpful information to be gleaned here, but you will read about how any obstacle to breastfeeding can be overcome. While this is true the vast majority of the time, sometimes it just isn’t going to work and you may have to make a different choice. And THAT’S OK!

So, in the spirit of Fed is Best, here is my new motto: Hungry Baby is Bad. Formula is Good (Not Bad). Breast is Better. Fed is Best.

Remember, Happy, Healthy Baby. Happy, Healthy Mama.

Tell us your experience. How do you feed your baby?

“For thus says the LORD, “Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you will be nursed, you will be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees.” Isaiah 66:12

Read About My Breastfeeding Struggle:

Prayer, Perseverance, and the Path to 100% Breast Milk

Related Topics:

6 Tips and Tricks for Efficient Pumping Oops, I Just Pumped and My Baby is Hungry

From Other Authors:

MumeeMagic.com’s The Benefits Of Breastfeeding For Both Mother And Baby

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[glitterykingdomkingdom]

nfl thursday

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It is usually essentially the most watched athletics celebration on earth and It truly is approximated that about a single billion people today view it annually. The NFL has a big subsequent among youngsters, women, Asians, Hispanics, African-People in america, and so forth., that makes it very fashionable between them.

The NFL is looked upon as probably the greatest Specialist athletics leagues on this planet with its wealthy record of accomplishment and Status for a few years now. It absolutely was Established being an American football league in 1920 by a gaggle of businessmen from New York City who established this league Along with the goal to compete with other main Expert leagues like baseball or basketball etcetera.. In 1921 they have been joined by two other businessmen from Chicago - George Halas (president) and Monthly bill Veeck (vice president). The primary year was performed concerning teams from New York City and

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We've all listened to in regards to the NFL, but not many of us actually know a issue over it. Our write-up will instruct you all you have to know with regard to the NFL And just how it really works.

NFL is one of the most popular sporting activities in the usa and is particularly played by about one hundred million folks yearly. The game has been played considering the fact that 1920 and its reputation has greater through the years with Just about every passing year. The primary football league was Launched in 1920 and this was accompanied by two much more leagues which were formed in 1925 and 1933 respectively. Currently, there are 32 teams competing at a time On this sport which is becoming so well known that it's Among the most viewed sporting activities on tv each week. You can also find some other sports which might be preferred among the enthusiasts like basketball, horse racing, boxing and many others., but football remains probably the greatest known types For most explanations:

The game by itself consists of 11 gamers on both sides who check out to attain details by functioning all around a field looking to catch a ball thrown

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The NFL has become a well-liked sport for decades. It is among the most viewed sport on earth and it truly is played by over 1,000,000 folks each individual week. The American soccer league also has a large lover base in China, where by it had been introduced in 2000.

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The NFL is the most popular sports activities league on earth. The NFL has a tremendous lover base and it is The most watched athletics TV channels on the earth. It is also The most worthwhile sporting activities leagues on the planet.

The NFL breaks documents with its yearly viewership quantities and happens to be an market chief In relation to revenue technology.

The NFL isn't going to use any artificial intelligence to deliver information for its channel. In its place, it depends on human writers to take action. Nonetheless, AI can be utilized to generate written content for precise subject areas or specialized niche areas that may be difficult for human beings to produce articles on their own. These parts include:

[notroosterbradshaw]

The Boyfriend Experience - Part 2 /2

7k words of Rooster being your super wonderful, pretend plus one! A few swears, but it’s the Navy, goddammit! The fluffiness should make up for it. 

The Boyfriend Experience 1 / 2

“Thank God you didn’t catch the bouquet,” Rooster rolled his eyes as you wandered back, bored. "Could you look any less interested?" he bit back a smile.

“I could, yes," you told him, patting his cheek with a gentle thwack as he chuckled.

”Well, you made sure I didn't have a run there to fake propose in front of all these witnesses. Left my fake engagement ring in my dresser drawer back at base,” he snapped his fingers. "Fuck."

"You'd have really ruined this wedding if you proposed. Even you must know the lack of decorum of proposing at someone else's wedding. You probably wouldn't need to go to those extremes," you laughed quietly.

He nodded and grinned. "I'd guarantee you a life of no more wedding BS though."

"You're probably right. How long you been sitting on that?”

"Just came to me," he admitted. "But you can't tell me it's not an amazing idea to get everyone off your ass."

"Thank you for not going to those lengths," you said as his head fell back and he kept giggling. Yes, Rooster was a giggler after a few drinks. And it was adorable.

Looking back at you, he said, "I guess we're almost done though. Since I have this," Rooster grinned widely, flinging the bride’s baby blue garter at your face. You flicked it right back and he caught it easily. He'd mortified you that he'd made such a spectacle to get his mitts on it earlier in the evening - he literally speared a dude to get to the front and leapt over the Best Man to catch it. "My Little League coach would be so proud today."

"You're the worst," you reached for his whiskey as he looked on proudly.

"You disappointed us as a couple and missed the bouquet to boot but I forgive you because you've graduated to a very sexy drink. That's my girl," he raised his eyebrow, waiting patiently for your sip, which you did gladly.

"You're such a dick," you could only respond, handing the glass back as he chuckled, putting the garter back in his breast pocket, patting it safely.

"Taken you 30 years to figure it out - that's more on you than me though," he teased.

"Last song of the night, friends," the MC of the band announced as Rooster offered you his hand. "Your bride and groom are ready to kick into matrimonial bliss part of the night and we all have to head home at some point!"

"You're not getting out of this. It's our last dance as fake lovers," he said, giving you the creepiest bedroom eyes, or you supposed, that you’d ever seen. How had he managed to bed so many women if that was his game, you'd never know (you assumed it was probably a lot less effort than batting his lashes, to be completely honest), and you shook your head with a smile. He stood to his full height and offered you his calloused palm. You naturally accepted, lacing your fingers through his. You loved the warmth his hands gave yours.

"Can you never say 'lovers' again?" you asked, spirited, as he spun you under his arm, leading you to the dancefloor, laughing loudly.

"Never," he promised as the song began. The band started Elvis' "I'm All Shook Up", most people in the room made their way to the dancefloor and Rooster praised the gods. You liked the song but loved the joy it clearly stirred in Rooster more. You adored how much he loved music, though he admitted he was never taught piano, guitar, or even drums but was pretty good at each of them, or he liked to think so. He played by ear and enjoyed experimenting with sounds. You'd romanticised Rooster playing at home in the quiet, just for himself, tinkering with keys, strumming strings. It made you kind of weak to think of him creatively like that. He was certainly full of surprises and you were yearning to know more.

He was unlike anyone you knew - you'd learned so much tonight and appreciated the human he was more than just the talented pilot most assumed of him, you thought maybe he appreciated people thought he was fairly one-dimensional, he liked his space and privacy. "New one to learn for the bar?" you offered as he pondered the question.

"Shit, maybe," he contemplated with a nod and he pulled you close. While not an incredibly slow song, Rooster actually moved quite well. Yet another thing you had learned about him tonight and he pulled your back to his chest, keeping you pressed to him, his hands spreading across your belly, keeping a respectful amount of space between your bodies. He took your hand and spun you back to him, facing the other again and he smiled slow, a smile you'd certainly never seen before but enjoyed thoroughly as his hands moved to the back of your ribs, dragging you closer to him.

He loosened a hand and put your arms around his neck, the height difference between you bringing your body crushed against him and it felt kind of... perfect.

"Thank you for tonight," you said, just between the two of you. He smiled faintly, his hands caressing your back. Once he'd found access to skin, his hand kept a close touch all night and your back felt cold without it.

"It's really me that should be thanking you," he admitted, lips dangerously close to your ear and you'd deny it, but it shook you to the core. Looking at him, your feet stopped moving and the world may have stopped too. Here he was, right in front of you, just like he always had been... but he was completely new to you now. "I haven't had a night like this in a really long time," he continued earnestly. "Almost felt like a real date."

You had lost the ability to talk, because thinking about it later, you'd realise, this was the first of many nights like this. But it wouldn't pretend anymore. He would be yours, and you would be his right back. And the pretence would be gone; traded for romance that didn't need to be held back, touches on skin that meant something because it was their skin you'd touched so many times before, still able to draw the same spark as it had tonight.

Rooster's lips met your forehead, leaving a lingering kiss against your skin and you held him just a little bit tighter. "I got you, kid," he told you softly but wasn't quite sure why he added, "You're safe with me."

And you may have believed him.

"Do you two want a lift?" Annie asked as the festivities started to come to a close. The bride and groom had left, guests were starting to organise themselves to do the same, the band was packing up and the music was over for the generic 'get the fuck out of our venue now' muzak. After your last duties for the evening to help Sarah's parents collect the gifts and load their car, you went back to the table to collect your belongings, thankful it was all finally over... as well as the evening.

It was a long day, and saying you were exhausted, physically, mentally... emotionally, was an understatement. Things were a bit muddled to you now and you were feeling a little unhinged at the growing flutters in your tummy while so close to Rooster. He was currently holding your bouquet and your clutch like it was absolutely no big thing.

"Rooster, I don't think you should drive. I can get you both back. I'm the designated driver for another three weeks and one day," she looked at her belly, accusingly. "Unless you'd like to come sooner, please?"

"Shit," he muttered. He had probably had one or two drinks too many, he realised. Palming his keys in his pants pocket, he replied he would just walk back to base. Wasn't at all far, he had his credentials. Fresh air would sober him up anyway.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Thank you though. I'm sure your little sister will get me back safely," he joked entirely for Annie's benefit. But your feet, your poor feet were shredded. You gave yourself kudos, you'd done the right thing and kept your heels on the duration of the day, but all you could imagine was peeling them off and preparing for the onslaught of blisters and discomfort as soon as humanly possible.

"Okay," she grinned. "Take care, Rooster," she hugged him and he hugged her back, trying to avoid her baby bump politely. "So good to see you."

"You too, Annie," he replied fondly. "I had a great night."

"Don't be a stranger when you're in town. Let's do this again soon. Come over for dinner, bring her," she nodded to you.

"I might," Rooster gave her a shy smile and Annie hugged him again. "I'm thinking of moving back so you may be seeing a bit more of me anyway," he said and your ears pricked up, this was brand new information and your palms may have clammed up a little.

"You should, everyone would be so happy you're home," she told him.

"Definitely thinking about it," he promised.

"Good, Please get my sister home safely?" she warned him.

"Of course, she's precious cargo," he smiled as Annie kissed you and waddled over to Arron, her extremely drunk hubby.

"I could have gone with that lift," you told him as you watched them leave. Your poor feet.

"Nah, you're okay," he said. "Let's go for a walk."

"Rooster," you protested. "I might cry."

Rooster pouted. "Then I'll piggyback you," he broke into a smile as a few of the single bridesmaids said goodnight to you both. "Come with me. Got an idea," he urged, nodding towards the door, not waiting for you and taking off in his strides in that direction. Moving as quick and gracefully as the heels would allow, you caught him at the door where he took your hand and you followed him to the beach. It was pitch black minus the moon's reflection on the water, nearing midnight when he stopped at the edge of the grass to sand and watched him unbutton his jacket to sit. You did the same. "Feet, please?" he asked quietly.

Confused, you weren't sure why you offered him your left foot, but his fingers made haste unbuckling the silver heel you had been wearing for hours and hours.

"Gentle," he told himself as he pulled the off, and held his palm out for your other foot that you gratefully offered, the relief almost instantaneous. Putting your heels together, he lightly pressed into the arches of your feet, your ankles, your calves, the pain worth it for a few moments, looking at you with a gentle frown to make sure he wasn't hurting you, but it was definitely worth it. "Okay?" you nodded as he slipped off his jacket and left it in a pile with your shoes, purse and bouquet. He unlaced his loafers, took his socks with them and cuffed his slacks up to his lower calf although there was little give to them. "Shit," he muttered, pulling at the wrong piece of his bowtie and knotting it tighter.

"Here, Roost," you said softly, sitting up to kneel, he watched you in keen interest as your fingers worked to loosen the tie. Knowing he'd made it worse before it unravelled under your touch, you smiled as he happily unbuttoned the first few holes on his shirt, showing a little of his strong, golden chest and a light smattering of dark hair.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Up," he got up slowly, finding the buttons on the cuffs of his shirt and rolling both to his muscular forearms. He smiled, offering his hand. He pulled you up, your sore feet sending you careening into him softly. He nodded towards the water and followed you through the sand.

The night was cool, but in the height of summer, not unbearable by any stretch of the imagination. Stopping right before the waves, you looked back at him.

"I promise you, those feet will feel a million bucks in about 15 seconds," and he hitched you into his arms, taking you out to his knees, lowering you amid squeals of cold and a now damp skirt around your thighs. He didn't give you space, he stood behind you, his hands resting on your belly, chin on your hair. You felt him sigh behind you.

"Dammit, Rooster," you cursed him although grinning in the madness, trying not to shiver as the waves splashed around you. It was a little chillier in the water than you would have liked, but Rooster was close and he was almost radiator hot. "It's f-f-freezing," you chattered.

"It's the ocean at midnight," he said in your ear. "What were you expecting?" he posed a good question. "But your feet don't hurt now, do they?"

"Actually, I can't feel them... because they're numb," you replied, your toes thumbing in the sand beneath you, it grounded you and felt so familiar. You loved it, craved it. The grains felt good and if you squinted, you could almost avoid the slight needling of your feet as they started to relax and unwind.

"You're the water," he murmured to you quietly, his voice lower than the ocean's bustle around you. "I know I'm the clouds. But you're the ocean. You need it. I've always known that about you. I see you some mornings down here, in the waves if I run late. I never see a crease or concern on your features, you're just one with the water. It's pretty sexy, actually."

You wished he'd stop talking because as he adjusted his hold on you, leaving one hand on your hip, the other arm wrapping around your shoulders, you only reaffirmed how good you fit against him. "I love that," you admitted, taking his hand and he sighed again. He was right, though cold, this was your happy place. This is where you desired to be, in the water and the freedom and terror that came with it, how it could make you teeter so easily and push you out of your comfort zone. And he knew all about it.

Above you, Rooster smiled to himself. He was starting to really enjoy holding you close, learning the curves of your body, how you could find the perfect place to find calm in his arms. "Hey?"

"Hmm?"

"I had a really good time tonight. It... didn't feel forced or contrived. Why haven't you and I done this before?"

Because we didn't see each other this way before Natasha threw us together, you wanted to say. We can laugh, we can play and have fun, team against anyone and not think anything of it... but tonight has categorically changed our friendship because I can't go back to just being your friend, Rooster. I think it would be easier to lose you than find out you didn't want to be with me this way again.

You stayed silent, you had just tortured yourself with your inner monologue as it was. "You are absolutely shaking," Rooster said, softly, maybe now regretting his idea and his fat fucking mouth just a little. "I think it's time to get you out of the water."

"I'm okay," you lied as he rubbed your arms where he could see the goose pimples rise. He couldn't stop the shuddering even in his stranglehold.

"Out you get, kid."

You nodded thankfully. The adrenaline coursing through your veins was not enough to keep you warm and only caused you to tremble more. "Sorry," you said as he released you from his clutches and moved before he could say anything else.

And just like that, the moment passed.

Rooster sighed, watching you make your way to the beach. He knew he'd scared you. You knew he was opening his heart to you, and just like Natasha joked about your commitment fear, maybe it wasn't too far off the mark and that made him sad for all that you had missed and what you could miss out on. He began to follow you as you sat back near all the gear you'd removed, closing in on yourself. Rooster ran the last little while up the beach and retrieved his jacket, putting it over your shoulders. "You okay, kid? You're blue."

"Can't stop shaking," you could only reply and he swore he heard your teeth chatter. "But I'm okay."

"Come on, let's get you home," he tossed all the gear except the flowers into his jacket and tucked it under his arm then offered you his hand to help you up. He used a little more force, driving you into him and he wrapped you into his arms - he was very good at bringing you close and he knew, not once had you fought it. "I didn't want to scare you before. I'm sorry I was so forward."

You gave a little shrug. "Don't worry about it, Rooster. I'm just a big girl with big problems," you said simply.

"Do you think you know... why you don't want to get close to me?" he asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.

You looked up at him and he knew the kicker was coming. "You have I have very different daddy issues," you told him. "When my dad left, I thought he'd come back. For years I thought I could try and make him want us again... but my sister and I weren't enough and if he could leave us, who he was supposed to love so fucking easily, it doesn't give you much confidence as an adult. He picked another family over us, I have other siblings I don't even know. The shit sticks."

Holy shit, Rooster thought, his knuckles rubbing against your back. He paused and held you tightly. He didn't know that... hell, he did but certainly not to that deep an extent and maybe your issues were a little more deeply rooted than Natasha had alluded to. He certainly couldn't blame you for that.

"You mean something to me, and ruining anything with you would destroy me," you continued. "I appreciate our friendship and that comfort that brings me."

He nodded. It felt like a kiss-off, that was for sure. "I wasn't asking for the rest of our lives," he said quietly.

"I know," you pulled back, needing to be completely out of his reach. "But I just don't know what to tell you right now."

"And that is the end of our first fake date," Rooster said, hating to admit he was kind of relieved as you got back to your apartment. He followed you to the front door and wanted you to feel as safe as you could in his presence because you hadn't said it... but everything had changed, and he knew it too. He didn't expect the night to go like this, but he knew, like you... things couldn't be the same again now.

You gave him a gentle smile and his heart fluttered, he'd always loved your smile, but shit... it was his now. He left your heels neatly at the stoop. "I hope today wasn't a total bust for you. Now you know how good I am at ruining good things," you poked fun at yourself. "It's a wicked character trait."

He sighed, dropping his eyes. "Why would you think that being honest with me would ruin anything?" he had to ask, putting his hands in his pockets. "Don't you think I appreciate that more?"

"I dunno," you leaned back against the door as he looked back at you, chewing your lip and God, he wanted to be the one chewing that lip. Vulnerability to most people could be seen as a red flag but to him? You were telling him things that you'd never told anyone, and that was almost sacred and it would always mean more. He knew you trusted him, but made him uneasy that it wasn't with your heart. "Do you?"

He rolled his eyes, a faint grin on his face. "Yes. I do appreciate that more. I've learned more about you tonight than I have in the last 30 years, which is kind of awesome... and terrifying."

"Terrifying?" you repeated, a little disappointed as he stepped closer.

"If you think for one second that you scaring me is a bad thing, you are kidding yourself," of this he was certain. He wasn't scared to be out of his comfort zone with you.

You finally smiled and shook your head gently. "I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you, Rooster. I owe you, big time."

"Don't be crazy. I drank top-shelf booze, ate more cake than I have eaten for years, and I got to spend my night with you. We'll call it even."

"Well, thank you. It really meant a lot. And it won't happen again, there are no weddings or other OTT celebrations in the foreseeable future."

"That's a shame," he laughed quietly.

There was a slight beat before your rationality kicked in. "Well, I should go in," you told him, pushing back off the door and reaching for your keys in your clutch. "I'm sure you've got an early morning."

"Class," he acknowledged.

You nodded. There would always be something. "Goodnight, Rooster," you said as you unlocked the door and took a step in before pausing. Rationality be damned. "Unless you wanna come in?" you called softly in the dead quiet of the night. You could see his brain working a million miles a moment.

This wasn't something you and Rooster did, you didn't hang out together this way, it was always in a group, always someone else to play the distraction. "Yeah, I really do," he admitted,  standing before you. The air around you had changed and you swore it wasn't just you that noticed it. For the first time tonight, his nervousness was evident and he put his palm on your cool cheek. Licking his lips, he admitted, "I really wanna come in," he said quietly, resting his forehead against yours.

His eyes searched yours as you pushed the door open and your hand found his. He followed willingly, quietly kicking the front door closed as you led him down the small hallway to your living room. Low lit from the lamp you'd left on for your late arrival, Rooster was interested to check out your place. Quaint, but it was quintessentially you. Linen in neutral and blue, a stash of books on the coffee table. A home. "Do you want a drink?" you asked.

Erring on the side of caution, he responded 'water'. He was starting to cut it fine of being in a proper state for the following morning and while he could take his liquor, the last thing he wanted was a hangover in an F-18. You came back to him with a cool glass and he gave you a small smile of thanks. He tossed his suit jacket on the end of the couch, finally happy to be rid of the silly thing.

"Do you mind if I get changed? This dress is clogged with sand, it's wet and damp."

"Course not. Go make yourself comfy," he said with a small smile as he watched you walk away before he preoccupied himself with the endless photos on your wall. A tasteful aesthetic of beautiful white frames with a mix of colour and black and white photos stored in them, he felt the love and consideration you'd put into the curation of images. And holy shit, if it wasn't you on his Mom's hip. You were crying and she was trying to appease you in any way she could. He took the photo from the wall and you wandered back a few minutes later, hair down, oversized Lakers t-shirt and you saw what he stared at.

"Mom said I had just been told I couldn't get an ice cream from the ice cream truck," you filled him in. Rooster actually laughed.

"That's the cutest fucking thing I ever heard."

"And Carole was trying to tell me she could get me ice cream from your place even though my mom was saying no, but I didn't want it anyway because it didn't come from the ice cream man. Naturally."

"That's amazing. This is about the last photo I would have ever expected to have seen, you know?"

"You can have it if you want. I mean, I'm a screaming three-year-old, but your mom looks absolutely beautiful."

"Always," he said softly and put the photo back carefully on the wall. "You keep it, it gives me something to see when I am here."

You shrugged easily and took a seat on the couch. He took a hint and went to join you, taking a cool sip of water to regulate. This was just not how he saw the night going. Sure, he was a man, he had eyes in perfect working order. He wouldn't lie and say he hadn't memorised every curve of your body, your smile and that absolutely devastating self-deprecating wit but there were plenty of other distractions in his wake. But here you were, right before him. And you, at that moment, were perfect but he didn't know what you wanted from him and it ate him alive.

"What time is class tomorrow?"

"Eight," he replied.

You gently reached for his hand, avoiding his eyes and tracing over the callouses and his lifelines. "I'm sorry about before," you said finally. "I am really good at finding ways to make a night nosedive."

He shook his head, laying an arm against the length of the couch in hopes you'd shift just a little closer again. "No, fuck no. Please don't apologise."

"You know more about me tonight than most people know in a lifetime. I'm really not the sharing kind."

"That... I knew," he with a smile. "I kind of figured we were a bit alike that way anyway. But it gives me a little bit of hope. I'll weasel my way in," he said confidently. "You'll regret opening yourself up to me," he teased as you laughed heartily.

"Using my trauma against me," you fist-pumped and he was so relieved you could see the funny side to it as he scooted a little closer since you didn't. "Awesome."

"I promise I never would do that," he said sincerely. "I have enough baggage to take everyone in this damn town out."

"That's true," you agreed. "What a mess we are."

"You're not a mess. You have your reasons, just like I do," he let go of your hand and reached into his shirt, pulling out his dog tags. "These have been driving me mad all night. Think they're imprinted into my chest..."

"Can I see?" you asked as he shrugged and slipped it over his head, gently putting it over yours and letting the tags jangle across your heart. You picked it up and looked at the imprints of his name. "Bradley N. Bradshaw," you spoke. "What do you think your parents were thinking when they gave you more or less the same first and last names?"

He laughed loudly. "Bradley was my mom's dad's name," he explained. "And it was the 80's. I guess they thought it just sounded cool. They didn't think of what it might be like for me at 34."

You grinned, tracing the bumps of his ID. "I forgot what these felt like. Dad's, Grandpa's. Having them in my hands like they were a toy, and what they really stand for."

Rooster didn't speak. He understood what you meant without having to go into it.

"Roost?"

He hummed in reply.

"Have you thought about settling down?"

"I've thought about it," he shrugged simply. "I haven't really found anyone who I want to settle down with. Last thing I want is something that doesn't last. I want to feel like my parents did - I can hardly remember it... but the way Mom spoke about Dad after he died? That's something to strive for, you know? I know she was sick... but she really died of a broken heart in the end," he said quietly.

Holy shit... you thought.

"When I find the one, I'll know," he added, taking your hand back into his and this time, he avoided your gaze as he drew circles around the pads of your palm. "I'm sure of it." He was sure of it.

"And here I was thinking you loved being a bachelor and the notoriety of the Navy," you said, and he appreciated the teasing as he laughed, scratching his neck.

"I mean, yeah. There are some benefits to not settling," lifting his gaze back to you, he pondered again. "I'm not really that guy that falls quickly."

You nodded, you knew what that felt like and you knew he was growing weary of sharing hour, so you decided to make things more interesting. "I've asked Natasha this and was not remotely surprised with her response. But I'll ask you too because I know you wouldn't lie to me... What's the greater thrill: flying... or fucking, Rooster?"

Rooster chuckled quietly. "That is going directly for the jugular," you saw his lips move, but sounds didn't follow through. "I love flying," he looked up. "My fate is sealed, but the right person? Jesus, fucking the right person could make you wanna give it all up, you know?"

"No, I don't," you pressed, your brain trying to decipher his answer. "That's why I asked."

He smiled, a small tint of red creeping up to his cheeks. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I think I like making you squirm," you said simply as dropped his eyes, coy all of a sudden.

"Oh, I get it now," he thought about it. "If it was life and death, I would, I can't believe I'm saying this... but I'd fly."

"Oh, my God," your jaw may have hit the floor. It just was not the response you were expecting but told you a lot about Rooster's priorities.

"As I said, if it was the right person..." he tried to over-correct himself as you bit back your grin, covering your mouth with your joined hands.

"I'm speechless," you continued to needle him.

"Okay, if this is the little game we want to play - " he announced, smacking the top of your hand.

Oh, fuck.

"My turn, then," he said straightening up and you panicked, and he grinned because he could see you were clearly panicking. "Why haven't you really settled? You could have found the guy that it could have all worked with. You're smart, fucking hilarious, beautiful. Now don't get me wrong... but for most guys, that's all they need. We're not overly complex creatures."

"Honestly?"

His hand that was in yours clamped down and was trapped in his strong grasp. "Honestly."

"I don't think I'm ever going to find what I'm looking for. I haven't found someone that can keep my attention for long enough."

He stayed silent, he wasn't convinced.

You grunted and continued. "I date. A lot. I am just not broadcasting how average these dudes are I'm dating. Why do I want to spend my time with someone with who I don't spark with?"

"Do you really have a problem with commitment?" he asked pointedly.

"No, I have a problem with assholes," you replied smartly. "You haven't settled down, do you have a problem with a commitment?" you threw back.

He rubbed his moustache and he considered his answer. "No, I'm content with not being ready to settle down yet."

"So, yeah. You kind of have a problem with commitment," you laughed as he nudged you.

"I realise I'm in my prime," he shrugged, giving his ego receiving a nice self-stroking. You didn't mind Rooster talking himself up, it was incredibly sexy, truth be told. He was generally pretty modest about all that kind of stuff and kept his business to himself but really, he wasn't completely unlike his friends and co-workers. He knew he good a good-looking dude, his voice could turn you inside out (you figured), he could command a presence fairly easily, and women were putty in his hands. It wasn't a lot of effort on his behalf.

Grinning widely, you snuck closer to him, sitting on your knees and he watched his hands fall to his thighs as you released yourself from his grasp. God, you loved making him writhe and he dared you to ask what you were thinking. "I'm not stupid, Rooster. I know you get a handful of numbers when we go out."

"How many of those girls do you think I call?" he asked, thoughtfully. He knew you were getting off on this, taking the focus off you and pinning it on him. He didn't mind, he knew you were enjoying this little game of cat and mouse, and you weren't really offended by any of his questions, so he couldn't be either.

"You tell me," you whispered.

He adjusted his posture and he took your chin in his palm, his thumb imprinting on your chin. God, you were right there, so close... desperate to be kissed. "I like the chase," his voice low. "But the chase isn't all that much a challenge much anymore," he admitted and his wrist started beeping. 4am. He needed to go. He silenced it. "Saved by the bell," he announced. "That's my alarm."

"And just when we were getting to the juicy bits," you sighed as he kept your gaze, a small smile on his face.

"We can continue this if you like. At a more respectable hour."

"No thank you," you said quickly and he chuckled quietly.

"I'm not surprised by that."

You smiled shyly. "Sorry."

"Fuck, you're so beautiful, do you know that?" he couldn't stop himself from saying. It just had to be said and put out there. Great, now it was done, he reasoned. You didn't break his gaze, you were daring him to make a move. He licked his lips and had to laugh. He'd already made the move. If you wanted him, he decided... the ball was in your court. Come and claim me, he wished.

"Roost?" you said again.

He raised an eyebrow in reply.

"Stay."

"No," he said, sitting forward. Fight for me.

You got to your feet and pushed him back against the couch, a small grunt bristling as you stepped between his wide legs. He reached for your hamstrings, his hands massaging against your bare skin as he raised his eyes to you. It was powerful and intimate and he didn't know if he trusted himself to be touching you like this.

"If you've got something to say... this would be the time to say it," his voice thick with desire, daring you.

"Stay," you repeated, your fingers coiling into his sun-kissed ringlets, giving them a gentle tug as he slowly licked his lips.

"Gonna need more than that," he told you, pulling you flush against him, helping you straddle him, his arms in a vice grip around you.

"Stay for me."

He bristled a laugh as you reached for a button on his shirt, dainty fingers making light work of the straining material over his chest. "Think I'm gonna just fuck you after all this?" he removed your hands, placing them back in your lap where he silently prayed you'd keep them because his strength was waning and if you tried really hard, you'd have him exactly where you wanted him. "You really wanna make this about a quick fuck and I just up and leave?" he shook his head. "I think you know by now I want a little more than that."

"What do you want, Rooster?" you asked, your fingers tracing his scars, finding one on his jaw you were particularly fond of and tracing it, feeling him tremor beneath you. "Tell me," you said reaching for the hem of your shirt and he knew he was going for martyrdom as he held your shirt down, whispering a curse. "You don't want me?" you asked, easing back just a little, shocked and a little more than embarrassed.

"More than anything. Can't you fuckin' see that?" he took your face in his palms and he could see your resolve crumble, breaking him as your eyes shone with tears. "That's why we gotta wait."

Your gaze dropped, you hadn't felt rejected like this in a long time. You didn't feel sexy, you didn't feel desired and you absolutely did not feel like he wanted you regardless of the apparent sincerity of his words.

"Listen to me," his voice raspy from alcohol and exhaustion. "Tonight, before tonight," he confided. "I've thought about taking you in every position my mind could imagine. But every one of them was crude and in my mind, pure fantasy. Why do you think I didn't even think about saying no to any of this tonight? All these years and all we have to show for us is a cheap fuck? I got a little more respect for you than that, baby girl. I wanna turn you inside out," he whispered against your skin. "Why do you think I never made a move before? If you give me the green light, I will absolutely pray to you."

You had forgotten how to breathe and he kept your eyes locked to his.

"I want to worship you," he told you, repeating your name like a mantra. "Don't you get it?"

The blood was pumping so loud in your ears that you were finding it hard to focus. You were drawn out of your stupor as his alarm started buzzing on his wrist again. He was getting later.

"I gotta go," he murmured, his face so close. "Just think about it, okay?" he said quietly, kissing your temple.

"That will be the problem," you confided as he hummed.

"I hope so," he helped detangle yourself from him, letting you stand although your legs were absolutely jelly. He smiled at you finally, thoroughly wretched, and all due to him. "So many things I want to do to you," he breathed. "But now, I gotta go." He'd been short on time before, but nothing as bad as this made him feel.

"I'm not asking you to stay again," you threatened pathetically, and he heard the lies as clearly as you did.

He nodded. But he couldn't and he knew he didn't have to explain his duty... because of anyone who knew him, you understood this most. "See me out?" he asked.

"Okay," you murmured, following him by the hand down the hallway. You unlocked the door, and he pushed it closed again, leaving his palm and weight against it. You raised a surprised eyebrow.

"I just can't - " he closed his eyes, dropping everything he was holding and grasping your face tenderly between his calloused palms. "Please think about this."

"And if I fuck it up?" you asked, scared as reality started to kick in.

"What if I do?" he challenged. "Do we not owe it to ourselves to find out?"

You nodded, almost pained, pressing your hands to his chest because you needed the last few touches before he left you. "Yes, we do," and with that, his lips were on yours. Soft, unobtrusive, it felt like you'd been kissing him your whole life. Familiar and right, you didn't realise how long you'd been waiting for this. He was such a good kisser, and there was no going back now. The words were out there... his kiss had tainted you.

His hands left your face, tangling into your hair, it felt incredible. He smiled against your lips and lightly pulled back. "You only needed to say yes," he told you, holding your face, his warm hazel eyes dancing and he kissed you again, a little rougher this time, his large hands tangling into your hair, tugging at strands as they moved to your back, dangerously close to your ass. "I'm holding back so bad right now, because the second I give in, I will stay."

"Can't you call in?" you asked hopefully, reaching for his lips again, your hands drifting to his hips and his head fell back with a quiet sigh. He pleaded for your hands anywhere further north.

"If I don't front up today... every single person we know will know exactly where I am... and why," he said, voice laced in mirth.

You told him softly, "I will make it worth your while."

He groaned loudly, his body already ready and willing, pressed unyielding against you. "I believe you," he breathed. "The idea of being with you will be all I'll be able to think about today. God damn," he hissed, his alarm going off again. "Can I see you later?"

"I think that's a good idea."

He gave a small smile, pushing some hair from your eyes. "Good morning, fake girlfriend," he kissed you gently again, let go of you to collect his gear at your feet and forced himself into opening the door, stepping over the threshold purposefully. He leaned back and kissed you once more. "I'll call you later," he breathed, trying to gather some resolve.

"Tonight?"

He nodded. "Tonight."

"Okay. Good morning, fake boyfriend." But now... there was nothing fake about it.

"Oh, before I forget," Rooster pointed at you. You raised an eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe, the adrenaline of the evening waning as he started to wander away. "What are you doing the last Saturday of next month?"

You outwardly shrugged. At this point you didn't know how today would even pan out as he wandered back to you, lips painfully close to yours, his arms slipping around your waist again and you didn't want him to let go. "I dunno. Why?"

"I got a wedding invite through the week," he smiled kindly and you bit back a laugh. "Thought maybe you'd like to go with me..."

"Think you can keep this fake dating thing going until then?" you asked, caressing his cheek.

"I'm pretty confident we may not be fake dating then..." he said quietly, kissing you just one more time.

"Ballsy of you to assume."

He nodded. "Yep," his eyebrow quirked.

"Do you have to wear your dress uniform?"

"Yes," he sighed, recalling your first conversation.

"Damn. This suit is really good," you playfully teased him, knowing his dress uniform would likely bring you to your knees. White or blue, you didn't care. It would be utter carnage.

"I don't even think a dry cleaner would bring this back to its original glory," he admitted with a chuckle.

"Shame."

"Jesus Christ, I want to stay. Please tell me to leave," his eyes fluttered closed.

You smiled as he took a wide step back. "You'd better go."

He nodded, thankful for your push. "I'll see you later," he said and forcibly turned away, his feet taking him away from you and when he was out of your view, you felt the weight of his dog tags on your chest.

"Oh, shit."

masterlist.

A/N: Want to learn more about these crazy kids? Here we go! 

The Relationship Experience - prologue

[tired-teacher-blog]

Hello dear, here's my request for All Might smut, thanks for accepting it.

I love angst, so it could be something related to a situation where the SO (female pls) and our number 1 hero had a fight, the reason could be anything, is up to you. Then, in the middle of it, they hurt eachother feelings by saying mean things, the reconciliation comes after days of both avoiding any kind of contact, starting w angry, rough sex and then half way fluffy/cuddling sex. Oh, and please can I get a lot of kissing and... 'down there kissing' too?

Thanks Teach!

Hi babe! You got it 🤩 I'm sorry it took me too long to do it, but I really enjoyed it and I'm sure you'll do too! I love you sweetheart ❤️

Title : It's not over

Characters : All might/ fem reader

Genre : NSFW/ +18/ angst/ fluff

Note : This story occurs when All might was still the number one hero and before passing OFA to baby Izuku.

Please do not read if you're a minor

Masterlist

Aaaah it's time..

You stated excitedly as you plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.

Your boyfriend, Toshinori Yagi, also known as All might, is having an interview to talk about his latest entanglement with the villains.

You two have been together for almost two years, the happiest of your life.

That being said, a relationship with the number one hero comes with its challenges, it's a rollercoaster ride if you were to be frank.

You two are in love -deeply so- that part is true, but never have you been out on a date like any other couple, never have you exchanged loving words when your friends and coworkers at school are around, and never have you told anyone that you two were dating.

It hurt sometimes, not being able to claim him like you wish you would, especially when you see other girls and women throwing themselves at him like ants on sugar.

But it's worth it, at the end of the day he is yours and you are his.

No matter how many women wish to have him, you're the only one who actually does, and that's enough for you.

_ "Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome our symbol of peace, number one hero All might!" The TV presenter cheered as she welcomed your man.

_ "Thank you very much miss, I am happy to be here." You smiled instinctively seeing your boyfriend's beaming features.

_ "So tell us All might, how was it like to be in that mission against the league all by yourself? We only saw titbits of the fight as it wasn't easy to get close to the location, but the small footage we were able to obtain showed us just how powerful our number one is." The lady swooned over him and she wasn't even trying to hide it. In fact it was obvious that she wanted him to know.

This was not a new occurrence, and it was something you learned to live with, but it still pissed you off a little.

_ "Yes! I want you as well as everyone else to know that as long as I'm here, you can carry on with your lives as usual and leave the rest in the capable hands of the heroes!" His words always brought peace among the public.

_ "Oh Mr All might you really know how to calm a lady's heart don't you?" She giggled brushing her fingers along his arm and you just tensed up seeing that.

Sure, women as well as men are usually lining up to get a glimpse of him, a word, an autograph or a picture, but never has anyone crossed the line before.

You tapped your foot in an attempt to contain your frustration, but what you couldn't understand was why did he look unbothered.

You didn't expect him to push her away or anything like that. Even you knew that's unreasonable, but he could at least show some annoyance right?

_ "So tell us, because everyone here is interested to know, are you still single?" Her eyes gleamed hopefully and you were overwhelmed with a weird mixture of anger and despair. It's because you already knew the answer he was about to provide.

_ "I'm single of course! I dedicated my heart and my body to the good of the people years ago!" You rolled your eyes as you mouthed the words with him.

_ "Oh my! You're melting this lady's heart." She responded pointing at herself, as if it wasn't obvious. "But tell us something Mr All might, if you were to be in a relationship, what kind of person would you be interested in?" She batted her fake eyelashes as she spoke.

You didn't understand all the personal questions she was throwing his way, wasn't this interview supposed to be about his recent mission?

_ "Ah, well I guess I would say someone like yourself!"

What? Was he serious? Couldn't he just avoid the question like he usually does?

_ "Mr All might I'm so flattered! You are..

You couldn't watch anymore of that bullshit and switched off the TV as the woman was still talking.

It bothered you more than you thought it would. You love him so much, but things like that take a toll on you. And it didn't help that your boyfriend possesses an affectionate and approachable personality.

You paced the room impatiently waiting for his return, and time couldn't have possibly passed any slower.

It was well into the night when he finally returned home. And the first thing he did was greet you with his blinding smile, but you were in no mood to return it and he knew immediately that something was wrong.

_ "Y/n sweetheart is everything okay?"

_ "I don't know, shouldn't I be the one asking that?! Maybe I was wrong! I thought this could work if I was a little patient but you disregarded me entirely!"

He was shocked to see your outburst, and for a second couldn't find the right words. And apparently he kept quiet for longer than he should have, because your screaming resumed.

_ "And what about that tramp who interviewed you? Is that really your type? Flirty forward women?"

_ "Y/n stop yelling please! You know exactly that none of that meant anything. You of all people should know that." He rarely ever scowled, but this time he did, and it made everything seem worse.

_ "Yeah, I'm the one who should know, I'm the one who should understand, I'm the one who should be patient. And what do you have to do?!" You stopped for a moment before continuing in a calmer voice that did not reflect your next words:

_ "I can't do this anymore."

He widened his eyes and shook his head in disapproval:

_ "No, y/n please don't do this. Let's talk about it."

_ "I'm done talking." You responded curtly and immediately left his appartement before he could notice the tears in your eyes.

He couldn't believe what happened, he could've easily stopped you from leaving if he so wished, but would that be right? You clearly didn't want to be there.

For the first time in his life, he felt helpless. Watching the person he cares about the most in pain because of him was torture.

Days have passed, and neither of you tried to contact the other. You were stubborn and mad, but he was honestly scared.

He wanted to give you some time to cool down before trying anything. He feared that if he pushed you when you're still furious, he'd lose you for good. He wasn't about to risk it.

Even at school, you avoided him, apart from the polite head bow and the quiet "good morning's", you exchanged no words.

You kept an eye on him through his TV appearances. It wasn't enough, obviously, but there was nothing you could do about it. You were still not ready to talk after all.

You've noticed that his smile wasn't genuine anymore, it felt forced and fake and you hated it as well as yourself. But what could you do?

Days turned into weeks, but nothing had changed.

Was that it for you? Were you supposed to finally move on?

_ "Damnit I hate this.." You muttered under your breath as you downed your fifth drink that evening.

You were at the annual heroes gala, and you were practically forced to attend. The country's top heroes all there in one hall, so obviously Toshinori was too.

You sat at the bar drowning in your own misery as you watched from the corner of your eye how every woman at the party surrounded him.

You hated every part of it. You couldn't say or do a thing except watching.

_ "Hey y/n! Why are you sitting here all by yourself? Come join us!" Yamada urged you as he grabbed your arm to help you up, but apparently you were a bit too drunk than you thought. You stumbled over your own feet and fell straight into his chest, bringing both of you to the ground.

The loud thud was enough to turn every head your direction, including the man you had been eyeing the whole evening.

Toshinori's eyes widened as he saw the compromising position you landed on. Legs on each side of your friend's, hands fisting his shirt to keep you balanced, and nose brushing against his.

You two stared at each other for a moment and you instinctively turned your head to where the number one hero was standing, only to find him gritting his teeth and glaring at the both of you.

Wait.. an opportunity just presented itself and you quickly took advantage of it. You wanted him to feel the way you always have, maybe then he'll understand the pain he's been causing you.

You turned around to look at Yamada who started laughing uncontrollably, and joined his fit -still sitting on his lap- before asking between giggles: "Are you okay? I donno what came over me, look at us! If someone manages to take a picture we're screwed."

_ "I don't mind being enveloped in a scandal with you." He answered playfully placing one arm around your waist.

Truthfully, you and Yamada have been close friends ever since you joined UA, and this kind of joke is something you both exchanged frequently without having any meaning behind it. You didn't like each other that way which makes the joking part comfortable.

Toshinori on the other hand didn't look pleased at all, and his reaction was the last thing you expected to see.

He walked right up to you and grabbed your arm, lifting you with ease and pulling you out of the hall.

It was quiet as he did so, everyone was in shock witnessing the scene, and you could've heard a pin drop.

He kept his tight hold on your wrist as he dragged you to his car. Neither of you said a word the whole ride home.. his home, and only when he finally stopped the car did you turn around to speak:

_ "What was that? Aren't you worried what everyone might think after what you just pulled? Surely you don't want anyone to start talking." You stressed the last part mockingly and his fists clenched around the wheel.

_ "Don't test me y/n, I'm not in the mood for your games." His voice dropped lower as he tried his hardest to remain calm.

_ "Take me home, I don't want to be here." Your frustration grew by the second, but so did his.

_ "You're not going anywhere until we talk this over. Get out." It was a first, he has never spoken to you this way before. And you didn't know if it was the alcohol in your system or your longing for him, but a warm feeling started forming between your thighs.

You followed him inside, it was the first time you stepped foot into his appartement since that day.

_ "What do you want to talk about anyway?" You asked crossing your arms, not even taking a seat, you just wanted to get it over with and leave.

_ "Your irresponsible behavior tonight! What was that all about?"

_ "You are the last person to talk to me about proper behavior." You stomped your way to him pointing an accusing finger as you spoke. "I'm supposed to keep quiet and watch as you enjoy those women's advances? Don't make me laugh!"

_ "No that's not what I'm saying. Don't you trust me at all?" His expressions softened as desperation laced his voice. But you weren't about to lose to him.

_ "This has nothing to do with trust! This is about you disregarding my feelings."

_ "You think I don't know that after what happened tonight everyone will start asking questions? Would I have done it if I didn't care about you?"

_ "Oh I'm sorry, that must've ruined it for you, but it's fine you can come up with something like you always do."

Tears started forming in your eyes and you struggled to fight them back. "I'm leaving." But you barely managed to take a few steps before two strong arms hugged you from behind pinning you in place.

_ "No, I'm not letting you leave, I should've stopped you the first time but I'm not making the same mistake again." All thoughts had left your mind and you couldn't say anything after that.

He picked you up and marched to his bedroom.

Your body bounced on top of his mattress and the next thing you knew, his lips were on yours.

It was fast and sloppy and urgent, like he was afraid you'd leave him again.

Little did he know that despite being outraged, you were not about to go anywhere.

You fisted his hair and bit the fat tongue tracing the insides of your mouth, smirking when a deep groan left his throat.

So this is how you want to play it?

He pulled away eyes flaring up with lust and exasperation, before grabbing the neck of your shirt and tearing it apart to leave you only in your bra.

_ "Fuck I missed this." He hissed under his breath and proceeded to do the same with the rest of your clothes.

It all happened in a split second, that when you sat up to quarrel with him about ruining your clothes, a sharp cry left your mouth instead when his head dove in between your legs immediately devouring your already seeping cunt.

You threw your head back, one hand grabbing the sheets while the other pressed his head down further against your pussy.

His tongue fucked its way into your core, licking your gummy walls and kissing your cervix as it went. And all you could do was mewl and writhe underneath him as the intense pleasure engulfed your senses.

From the corner of your eye, you saw one of his hands travel from your thigh to his pants, desperately working on releasing his confined cock. You moaned and twitched into his mouth at the sight of his already fully erected dick thrusting into his half clenched fist.

You wanted more, and you went for it. You planted your feet on the mattress and tightened your fist around his locks before thrusting up into his mouth. You kept fucking his face and he kept fisting his cock until you both neared your release.

Suddenly, Toshinori's hand moved back to your jerking hips, big palms clenching your sides and planting you flush against the bedsheets before resuming his assault on your drooling, winking pussy.

He sucked your clit and grazed his teeth over your lower lips and all you could do was gasp for air.

One of his hands then moved around to your butt cheek giving you a smack and leaving a raging red palm print behind. And that was it for you, you squeezed your thighs around his head, finally climaxing in his mouth.

You slurred his name along with a few profanities as you rode out your orgasm and fell limp underneath him.

But he had other plans for you.

You watched through heavy eyes as he sat up licking his lips and taking off his own clothes.

_ "It's not over yet gorgeous, get ready for me."

_ "But, I.. aaaah!" Your sentence was cut short as a loud scream left your throat when he plunged his dick inside of your overstimulated cunt without any warning.

He immediately started moving at a merciless speed and your eyes were popping out of your head as you dug your nails in his arms and took him all in.

The loud wet shameless sounds your bodies were making added to your arousals, and you soon started moaning and whimpering against his ear when that familiar feeling started forming within you for the second time that night.

_ "Toshi.. I can't.. I'm about to cum!"

_ "I love you y/n.. I fucking love you.. I'm never letting you go." He chanted between each thrust and you tightened around him as his words almost drove you over the edge.

_ "I love you too! I love you damn it!" You cried out tears running down your face, and he suddenly stopped completely.

You felt his fingers stroking your cheeks and you opened your eyes to find a worried look on his face.

_ "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm a selfish jerk but I promise I'll treat you better from now on. Those couple of weeks we've spent apart were hell, so please don't leave me."

You couldn't find the right words, so instead you captured his lips in a gentle kiss, one that contradicted the previous events of the evening, one that took you both back to when things were still alright.

His hands moved to caress your sides, and you arched your back and tugged on his hair, urging him to start moving again.

His thrusts were shallow at first, barely doing anything for that itch in your core. His lips moved down to your neck, leaving wet kisses on their path.

_ "Toshi.. faster, please honey." The nickname did it, he nuzzled deeper into your neck sucking and nibbling while his hips picked up the pace.

You threw your head back and bit your lower lip allowing him to take you to your blissful ending.

It didn't take much longer until you tightened around him moaning his name. He kept fucking you, chasing his own release that came moments after yours. He pulled out and released all over your tummy before falling on top of you, face buried in the crook of your neck, and you hugged him closer.

_ "So what now? You know we're going to face countless questions about tonight." You stated cautiously, unsure of his upcoming response.

_ "We'll answer them all truthfully, I will not hide our relationship anymore."

_ "Really? You would do that?!" It was unbelievable, and you were eager for further reassuring.

_ "Of course love.. you know what hurts the most? It's that despite being the nember one hero who's job is to protect others, I failed miserably to protect the person I care about the most.. I'm so sorry." He was finally able to lift his head up and look you straight in the eyes.

You smiled brightly and cupped his cheeks, pecking his nose before whispering: "It's not too late Toshi, we can always start over."

You two could finally relax into each other's arms, knowing that whatever happens, you'll be able to face it as long as you're together.

@shxt-txt