#somebody said its Sukuna Angst hours

[zuzu-draws]

[The Cursed, Unwanted Child: Ostracised by the Village]

[issamhysa]

The Mighty Heart [2]

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Warnings: Major character death, language, angst (nobody’s having a good time)

Summary: Gojo sees you for the last time.

A/N: This is a part two to this post! You guys asked for it, so I had to. It’s not my best, but I hope you guys like it!

When you’re scared, your body reacts immediately of its own accord. Your lungs take air in faster to give you more oxygen. Your heartbeat quickens to pump more blood into your brain and muscles. Your pupils dilate, and while all this happens, you’re faced with one of two choices.

Fight or flight; you can stay and face whatever you’re being thrown into, or you can run away and escape, unharmed.

Gojo was a stranger to this choice. He was a stranger to fear. Of course he was, he was one of the most powerful jujutsu sorcerers.

What could he possibly have to fear?

The question ringing in his mind was answered the second he watched Nanami walk through the doors. Gojo’s eyes scanned the group that had arrived behind his blindfold, his brain not really registering the haunted expression on Junpei’s face, or Yuuji’s flushed, tear-stained cheeks. He didn’t notice the figure in Nanami’s arms, shrouded by Kento’s bloodied, cream coat.

He didn’t care for them, not right now, he just needed to see you.

It wasn’t until he noticed you weren’t standing amongst the three that his eyes were actually able to focus, hyper-focusing on every little detail. Gojo noticed the tears that threatened to spill from the new boy’s eyes, the slight quiver of Yuuji’s bottom lip, and, most importantly, he was made aware of the figure held in Nanami’s arms.

Gojo didn’t need to see the figure’s face to know it was you. He recognized your hand, hanging limply by your side, by the black nail polish you had both used a few nights prior. He recognized the little white heart you had stamped on your ring finger’s nail, matching his. He recognized the silver wedding band on that same finger, now stained in mud and blood.

The jujutsu sorcerer wanted to rush over and snatch you from Kento’s arms. To pepper your face with little kisses until you woke up and smiled at him, telling him that you were just tired. He wanted to hug you close and berate you for scaring him like that, all whilst running the pads of his long fingers up and down your spine.

He had so many questions he wanted to ask, so many different thoughts running through his brain. So many things he still needed to know.

But he couldn’t even fucking breathe.

Nanami set you down on the metal examination bed, and when Gojo finally noticed the blood staining his friend’s hands and the front of his shirt, he felt like he would throw up. Exchanging a look with him, the white-haired male finally shuffled forward, willing his trembling hands to steady as his fingers pinched the top of the dirty coat. Ever so slowly, his hands pulled the garment away to expose your forehead. The more skin he uncovered, the worse the trembling got.

Until he finally saw you.

Gojo’s breathing hitched as his hands gripped onto the edge of the table, knees buckling slightly, but not noticeably enough for Itadori and Junpei to notice.

On the other hand, Kento did. Stepping away from the table, the blonde sighed, reaching up to lower the glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He lifted his head to gaze at Gojo, a frown on his lips as he parted them to speak.

“She wanted you to know she loved you.”

Gojo knew that. Of course, he had always fucking known. But the words coming out of Nanami’s lips left a bitter taste in his mouth, because it should’ve been you telling Gojo you love him, not Nanami. He almost sneered at the thought.

Out of the corner of his eye, Gojo watched Nanami motion for the two students to follow him out of the room. He saw Itadori look over his shoulder at your unmoving body, a solemn expression covering his features before he followed after Nanami.

Junpei, however, didn’t move away. Instead, he shuffled closer to where you lay, a shaky hand reaching out to take yours. He noticed the way Gojo looked up at him the second his bloody fingers touched your skin, but he didn’t falter.

“She saved me,” he said quietly, voice broken and cracking from screaming and crying so much a few hours prior. “Even though I didn’t… I didn’t deserve it, she… she sacrificed herself for me.”

Gojo was silent, though a small, amused huff escaped his lips as he lowered his head to look at you, his fingertips brushing over your forehead, gently and feather-like.

Of course, you had. You had always been ridiculously selfless, putting others before yourself. It was one of the things Gojo loved about you, one of the things that made him get down on one knee and offer you the world.

But right now, he cursed your selflessness.

“It should’ve been me, not her.”

This made the white-haired sorcerer look up at the young boy, eyebrows furrowed. His heart was heavy with indecision, head swirling with thoughts, so many of them, he was sure a migraine would follow shortly.

He wanted to agree with the young boy. To tell him that he was right, that it should’ve been him, and that you should be standing right by his side, right where you belonged. But Gojo would never say such things, no matter how hard his grief-stricken brain wanted him to. No, that would be an insult to your memory.

“Y/N gave her life for you because she believed you were worth it. If you think otherwise, you’re saying she died for nothing. Do not disrespect her memory by questioning her judgment now.”

Junpei looked up at him, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. His jaw hung agape, taken aback by the lack of bitterness in Gojo’s tone. He almost flinched at the soft sincerity behind his words, and simply closed his mouth and pressed his quivering lips together. Bowing his head slightly, the young boy began to step away, refusing to let go of your hand until he was forced to let go.

Finally, you and Gojo were alone.

Gojo allowed himself to release the trembling exhale he had been holding in when you were brought in. Shaking hands reached up to pull the black blindfold off his eyes, letting it drop to the side. Crystal eyes clouded with unshed tears now gazed at your lifeless form helplessly, and Gojo took your face in his hands, thumbs brushing along your cheekbones. It was then he noticed just how cold your skin was under his palm.

Oh, how he hated this feeling.

The guilt eating away at him, forcing him to find somebody to blame for what had happened to you.

He wanted to blame Junpei for forcing the sorcerers into this situation in the first place. For being foolish enough to trust a curse, and allow it to give him power he was incapable of controlling. For being careless and selfish and only thinking about getting revenge on those who wronged them, as if the actions would come with no repercussions.

He wanted to blame Itadori for lying to him when he joked about how you didn’t need protecting, how the curses would be the ones that needed protecting. Yuuji had promised him he would look after you regardless, that he would make sure his beloved sensei’s wife came home safe. He told Gojo he would call for Sukuna’s help if it came down to it, even though he knew it would never come to that; you were too strong, too stubborn to die.

He wanted to blame Nanami for not getting there fast enough. For not disposing of the other curses quick enough to reach you before the curse struck you. Nanami’s skill was close to that of Gojo’s, so why couldn’t he save you?

But, in the end, he wanted to blame himself, too. He shouldn’t have let you go in the first place, but you were oh-so adamant on going; so keen on wanting to save this poor boy from himself. He should’ve never let you get to him, he shouldn’t have believed you could handle this.

God, what was he saying?

Gojo doubled over with his elbows resting against the examination table, tugging at tufts of his white hair in frustration. His breaths came out in shallow huffs, the tears that were once clouding his vision finally breaking through and sliding down his flushed cheeks.

He felt so fucking stupid.

He knew you were capable enough of handling yourself; more than capable, actually. Being a jujutsu sorcerer was a dangerous job, but one you and Gojo would never back down from, but Gojo had known and fought alongside you long enough to know that you fought with everything you had, and that you would never give up. That, much like him, you’d see things through to the end, no matter the cost.

And you had chosen to marry him regardless.

You had done everything you could to come back home to him, and he knew that.

As he gazed down at you, finally able to rest in peace after all the hell he put you through; after all the all-nighters spent together, handling paperwork and training to protect those you cared about, he felt every negative feeling melt away. All the guilt, the shame, and the agony replaced by one feeling.

Pride. Overwhelming and overpowering.

Gojo was proud of you for protecting somebody who was incapable of doing so themselves. He was proud of you for fighting until you couldn’t fucking move, for protecting Itadori and making sure both boys were able to make it home safely.

The glassy tears sitting on his dark lashes dripped onto your cold skin when he gently set a kiss on your knuckles, rubbing your hand in both of his, just like he used to when you would complain about the cold weather. Closing his fists around your hand, he leaned down, forehead resting against his own knuckles. A bitter smile forced a cracked chuckle from his lips, and Gojo lifted his head, brushing your hair away from your forehead to kiss it.

It would take him a while to adjust, and he was terrified of what would come next. His future seemed so uncertain without you in it. He'd miss how you laughed at his antics. How you'd smack him upside the head when he did something stupid, and scold him before peppering his face with kisses when he came back injured.

But he'd do it, because it's what you would've wanted.

“You did good, my love,” he murmured against your skin, gently nudging your nose with his. “I love you forever.”