#someday I’ll write the actual malleus/cater side of this

[thebluestbluewords]

the moral standards of NRC students are not great (It’s more of the cater/malleus but actually heartslabyul fam fic)

*

The thing is. 

The thing is— 

The thing is that Cater didn’t exactly mean to start a fuckbuddies thing with Malleus Draconia. They’re not even in the same class, so it’s not like he had a chance to employ his usual technique of looking cute and asking for help on an incoming assignment, and then cornering his potential study partner in a private room and seeing if they’re interested in a different kind of studying. 

(He’s got about a 65% success rate so far. Even when people don’t want to hook up they’re usually down for some actual studying, so overall it’s technically a 100% success rate for getting something useful out of the arrangement. Which is pretty good in Cater’s personal success metics.) 

Cater didn’t even do anything to instigate the whole Malleus-fuckbuddy situation aside from being cute and popular and in a club with some Diasomnia students, which is apparently how Malleus Draconia learned of a lil old Hearstlabyul like Cater’s existence. 

…

Okay, he might have possibly asked to take one selfie. But it was literally just once! He’s asked like, every single person in the school to take a selfie at least once, and Cater’s not even exaggerating on those numbers. He’s even asked Headmaster Crowley to take a pic, and that guy gives off major creep vibes. 

So yeah. It’s not Cater’s fault that asking Malleus Draconia for one picture somehow through absolutely no fault of his own turned into taking a picture while pressing his lips against one of Malleus Draconia’s horns, which turned into taking a picture while making out with Malleus Draconia, which turned into making out without any phones around, which sort of spiraled from there. Malleus doesn’t have a lot of friends on campus, and Cater hangs out with a lot of people, so it just made sense for them to start meeting up to hang out together sometimes and hey, if the guy is there and cool and into him, right? 

Trey blinks at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that much about someone who isn’t yourself before.” 

“Hah….” Cater wheezes. There’s not really a good way for him to deny that one.  “Well, I mean- it’s Malleus, right? He’s like, super cool and mysterious and stuff. And seriously, the dude doesn’t have many friends.” 

“You have friends,” Trey says, a hint off from his usual neutral tone. Pissed, maybe. Cater is not unaware of his ability to annoy just about anyone he spends a long enough time with. “You hang out with those other Diasomnia students in your alchemy class, right?” 

Ouch. And here he was thinking that Trey was going to count himself and Riddle as his friends. “Ouch, man. Yeah. I hang with Lilia and Vil sometimes.” It’s easy to hide the wince behind a grin, so Cater does that, letting the charmingly crooked pull of his smile hide any less-than-thrilled expression.

To his credit, Trey realizes the misstep. He waves a hand, speaking quickly. “Not to say that we aren’t friends, of course. I enjoy your company very much. It’s just—“ 

“Roomies first, I get it.” Cater says with a bright smile. “No hard feelings.” 

Trey takes a deep breath, face falling into something unexpectedly serious. “Actually, I was going to say that I thought you’d tell your friends when you started sleeping with Malleus. I’d have understood if you didn’t tell anyone, but the fact that I’m just hearing it now, after Riddle heard it from some Octovinelles at study group makes it seem like you weren’t hiding it from everyone after all.” 

Just from us. 

“It’s not—“ Cater sighs. “I didn’t tell anyone. Trey, come on, man. I’m not that good at hiding anything.” 

Trey lifts his eyebrows. “You weren’t keeping it a secret from us?” 

“Not on purpose.” 

“How do you keep a secret like that on accident?” Trey asks lightly, still looking so very faintly surprised. “Inquiring minds would love to know.” 

“I, uh-“ the unpleasant feeling of being caught in the act of something is sticking the words in Cater’s throat. “I wasn’t keeping you in the dark on purpose. I promise.” 

“I’m not mad,” Trey says calmly, even though he very clearly is. “I’m just hurt that you didn’t think you could trust us with your latest suicidal conquest. At least let us know where we can pick up your body next time, alright?” 

Cater forces himself to laugh, even though he’d really rather do something else, like maybe cry or scream a little bit. “Sure thing. BTW, what’s up with this guilt trip man? I thought we were supposed to be cool.” 

“My apologies. You could have died, Cater. Malleus isn’t someone to spend time alone with, especially if nobody knows where you are or where to look for you if you don’t come back. At least tell someone next time, even if it’s not us, please?”

“You’re seriously asking me to tell you the next time I get a booty summons?” 

Trey sighs. “I know you don’t want to talk to us about this, but it’s for your own safety.” 

“You don’t make Riddle tell you about his murder boyfriend.” Cater points out. He’s never actually talked this much about any relationship that he’s had. It’s weird. He’s pretty sure this is what girls must do at sleepovers, and he and Trey are just walking in the hedge maze killing time until Riddle remembers that he’s supposed to cool it with the punishments again. If Trey really wants to keep hearing about the Malleus situation, Cater should at least hold out for snacks next time. There’s only so much microwave popcorn he can eat, and if there’s one thing he’s learned from having older sisters, it’s that relationship gossip is deserving of good snacks. 

“There’s a limit to how much murder a single eel can do, even with Riddle’s help.” Trey points out. “Malleus has power well beyond that.” 

“He has to ask for help changing the batteries in gao-gao dragon-kun,” Cater points back. “I don’t think I’m in constant danger from him. Besides, he’s got all kinds of bodyguards around to keep an eye on him all the time, so even if he does murder me he won’t be able to dispose of this rockin’ corpse without an audience.” 

“The same bodyguards who keep mooching the pie we’ve been giving to the ramshackle dorm’s prefect?” Trey asks, raising his eyebrows in an incredulous look. “The ones who almost trampled us last week when the horses got out?” 

“Those would be the ones, yeah. Haha.” 

Trey sighs deeply, one hand going up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Cater.”

“Yeah.” 

“To be blunt, I’m still sort of hurt. I expected you to tell us when you’re walking into a relationship as dangerous as this one, not to hear it secondhand through a study group. And the fact that you’re not taking any of this seriously is exactly why Riddle was concerned about it when he heard the news. Can you honestly say that you believe Malleus has only good intentions towards you?”

Cater can’t help himself. “At NRC? HAHAHAH.” 

“Cater.” 

Cater takes a deep, steadying breath, and swallows the rest of his laughter at the thought of any NRC student having good intentions towards anyone. Even the tiniest firsties come through their coffins already full of spite and bad intentions. “Yeah, about that… I’m mostly joking. While we’re together Malleus mostly just talks a ton about gargoyles and learning stuff from the children of man. I’m pretty sure he’s been keeping me around because he likes learning new stuff about the world outside of briar valley, y’know?” 

Trey’s shoulders visibly go down a notch. “You haven’t made any deals with him?”

“Nah,” Cater says lightly, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. They’re done little stuff here and there, like betting on how long he can hold off before coming all over that face, but stuff like that’s not really a deal. Just a little game. “No deals here.”

Trey grabs him by the shoulders, and stares dead into Cater’s fucking soul, or something. “You swear?” 

“Yeah, man. I swear on the great seven. I have not made any deals with the elder fairies. Even if they do offer the best fucking bribes on the continent. Like, damn what’s that mouth been doing locked up in briar valley for so lon—“ 

Trey shoves Cater bodily into a bush. “Please never tell me about what Malleus is like in bed. From one human being to another, please no.” 

[ryuichirou]

I saw the size difference art of the Diasomnia boys and all I can say is, damn Sebek you need a bra for those honkers. Much like the post about NRC boys’ butts, do you have any headcanons on their chest sizes?

Omg Sebek and his honkers 😭 the boy looks straight-up indecent lol I get what you mean!

With how my brain is wired, I feel like in a lot of ways it’s going to correlate with the genderswap chest sizes I also wrote some time ago (update: NOPE IT’S NOT LOL), but I’ll still go through the list! Since this is more about muscle definition, right? Right… Alright, who else got honkers…

(I also don’t have much to say about some of them, sorry in advance!)

Riddle – pretty flat. We’ve seen his Beach Wear Groovy, the boy is pretty flat… there is sooome softness if you really squint, but maybe it’s just an optical illusion??

Ace – also kind of flat, but with soooome definition. Nothing to write home about, really, even though he’d like to have a big muscular chest someday.

Deuce – he also has soooome definition, but is flatter than Ace; Ace just uses his upper muscles a bit more.

Trey – definitely the biggest one of his dorm, and even though it’s muscular, it’s also surprisingly soft and squishy.

Cater – I feel like he’s pretty plain, just a flat boy.

Leona – definitely on a bigger side; he’s also kind of soft-ish, but more toned than Trey.

Ruggie – sometimes it looks like he has negative boobs. He does have some muscles, but doesn’t eat nearly enough protein to get any type of boobs :(

Jack – big boy. Very big boy. Huge. His boobs are big and heavy, definitely even bigger than Sebek’s. There is some softness to them, but not much: Jack’s boob could kill a person…

Azul – surprisingly… he’s pretty lean, but his chest is pretty noticeable when it isn’t buried under layers of clothes. It’s not big or anything, but he works hard on his body, so it’s like a natural result of that. He has to keep the perfect balance in his exercise or diet though, because it’s pretty easy for his chest to either start losing definition or becoming a bit soft.

Floyd and Jade – biiiiiig. Not as big as Jack or even Sebek, and I absolutely overdo it whenever I draw these two lol But both of them are pretty big when it comes to the chest region; Floyd is a tiiiiny bit bigger though.

Kalim – pretty close to Ace and Deuce, but also kind of soft!

Jamil – nicely defined, muscular, a little soft, but mostly toned. A bit similar to Leona’s but a size smaller lol

Vil – now this is who takes this whole thing very seriously; just like with his ass, he makes sure that his chest looks exactly how he wants it to look: it’s not flat at all, it’s actually pretty well defined, but he also paces himself just so it doesn’t get too big. There is pretty much zero softness in it, too.

Rook – terminator. Pretty much as big as Trey, but with zero softness lol He hides his boobs just as successfully as he hides his huge butt.

Epel – flat, but with more meat than Riddle, for example. But it’s not nearly enough meat for his chest to be pronounced… ahhh maybe one day! >:(

Idia – skeleton… no boobs for this man… but it’s okay we love him this way <3

Ortho – yeah, this one is also pretty obvious lol

Lilia – FLAAAAT Flatitio Lilia Flatticelli is his full name. But to be fair, I think he had more pronounced chest when he was younger. But it was never big by all means, just a bit more defined.

Silver – yeah, you’ve seen the art, I think he’s pretty big, but not as big as Sebek… he also has some softness to him, but it’s mostly because his body is more relaxed than Sebek’s, who’s always super tense.

Sebek – HONKERS. That are also hard as rock unfortunately… I feel like Sebek could break a pencil with his boobs somehow. I’m not sure how, but he might.

Malleus – it’s pronounced, it’s very noticeable when he wears anything tight, but it’s not super big.