#someone asked them if houston was coming back

[undercoverpena]

epilogue. she might just be my everything and beyond

javier peña x f!reader | epilogue of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: here's the epilogue. two idiots pining for one another. fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. falling in love. idiots in love. mention of olivia (steve's and connie's child) ✨ wordcount: 2.7k.

an: at the end.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

you keep flirting with me and ill drive myself over

Oh will you now?

use my key and everything

You have had very little reason to use it lately.

thats cause youre so desperate youre already at the door

Desperate or welcoming?

both

I can be less desperate next time, if you prefer.

dont you fucking dare baby

So when you coming over?

already putting my shoes on

It flies by, time.

One minute, he’s clutching your hands until your fingers slide from his. A promise in the air, one he knows you’ll keep because it's all temporary. Knowing that you’ll be right back, suitcase—and possessions following behind—as you move across the country. 

Within a blink, Javi is asking you where you want things to go, in the little place you chose with so much ease. Spotting you unpack a photo frame, the photo strip from Houston front and centre, sitting on a bed of receipts. 

The next, he’s sweating for reasons he’d rather not be.

His back twinging, protesting as he carries another box to the van. Your smile rises at the sight of him approaching, gesturing to pass it to you—still standing on the edge of the truck.

“Cariño. You’ve lived here six months. How have you amassed so much sh–tuff?”

Narrowing your eyes, taking the box and placing it on top of another, “Nice save.”

Sending you a sink, he smiles as you slide your hand in his to get down. Knowing he doesn’t ever need to feel them slide from his again—hopefully, no emotional goodbyes at the airport. Not ones that don’t involve you visiting someone for a long weekend here or there.

“Are you forgetting that I packed an entire suitcase the first time I saw you? Because knowing that information, I am surprised you’re confused that I’ve doubled my possessions since living here?”

Pulling you close, he focuses on how you feel warm against him—fitting against him perfectly. A feeling he’s had plenty of time to grow used to but finds he never does. How you slot with him, face turned upwards, looking at him like he moves mountains and walks across fire.

If you asked him, he would.

But you never do. You just look at him as though you know he would. Knowing he does.

He supposes it’s why you’re all set to move in with him. Into his home. His room.

This place—as lovely as it has been—will no longer be yours. The little home in the centre of town is tucked away above a video store that you’ve become a frequent customer of, whether he has plans with you or not.

From tomorrow morning, though, you’ll be waking up with him officially. The two of you have had months of it, where you’re there but not entirely with him. Even if, over time, your things have been left amongst his, some even finding themselves hanging alongside his. To the point a drawer was needed—and hangers. Still, for a while, when you said home, you had meant yours.

That was until the last few weeks. Your eyes shimmering, twinkling with the stars in the night sky, curled into his side. His green jacket, the one with the brown collar, wrapped around your shoulders, no longer smelled of old cigarette smoke and desperation but rather sweetness and hope. Your hand entwined with his:

Can we go home, baby?

Yeah, I can take you now.

No, to yours.

You poke him. Light, but purposeful. A little jab to bring him back, and the way you’re smiling at him—fuck. He can’t imagine a look that could make his heart double in size quicker. His thumb strokes alongside your cheek. His pink shirt—the one you had commandeered as your own—rolled up at the sleeves and tied at your waist.

Javi’s noticed you steal his clothes a lot. Fashion them into something that suits you better. He doesn’t moan. If anything, he makes it a purposeful thing to show you how much it means to him—how much he likes it, craves it.

“C’mon, only a few more boxes...”

Groaning, he buries his lips against yours, feeling your smile widen, grinning widely against him as you hold him close.

Your teeth pull at his bottom lip before releasing it with a pop, a twinkle to your eyes. “… think of it like this: once the van is packed, we get more time to say goodbye before I have to return the keys.”

“Hmm,” he mumbles, keeping you in place with two fingers under your chin. “And how do you plan on us saying goodbye, baby?”

Sliding your nose against his cheek. “Loudly. I plan on saying it loud, baby.”

You packed me a note in my lunch?

I did

It wasn’t very safe for work.

you said you eat your lunch at your desk

Yes but I’m not a loner, Javi. I do eat lunch with people.

lesson learned then baby

But yes.

yeah?

I don’t think the porch table will cope though, may have to think of a more stable surface.

I think I can think of something

No wood! I am not having you pick splinters out of my ass again, baby.

that was on you

I think it was on you and your speech about how beautiful I looked being a ranch-hand.

Do you fancy coming to my office Halloween party?

do I have to dress up

Yes. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll be dressed up too. 

before I decide what are you dressing up as 

That’s the incentive to come, if you say yes I’ll tell you.

do you want me there 

Yes! Want to show you off

then ill be there baby

Because you like being showed off?

yes. but also because you want me there

While outwardly, he’d protested the trip to Miami from the moment you booked it off work up until he was sat beside you on the place, he does see the beauty in it.

Although, Javi primarily suspects that it is down to you. You with your legs out, you in a bikini on the beach, robbing his shades until he buys you your own—a matching pair, something that makes Steve chuckle and Connie aww.

The lazy mornings that remind him of Houston are nice, too. The ones where neither of you are woken by an alarm or his Pop’s awful singing. The backdrop of the airy hotel room and a warm, gentle breeze blowing the sheer curtains as his thumbs dig into the back of your thighs and make you chant, is a bonus. 

Because Javi can make your skin glisten, and your body sing, whenever and wherever he gets the chance. 

What he can’t have at home with you is the sight of you fitting in so easily with the two people who have become a second family. The ones who have seen him go to lengths he hadn't known was possible, him and his old partner seeing things that only appear in occasional nightmares now. 

Connie and Steve welcomed you in with ease and with them, you smiled so effortlessly. Blending in like you were always there—laughter bursting out of you when you’re playing with Olivia. 

It's there, ever-present on the beach, as you chase Olivia around in the sand. The castles the two of you had been making long since trodden on, as the little girl squeals and squeals until she’s caught. 

“You should marry her.”

Turning his head, Steve nods towards the three of you. Connie snapping photos as you roll in the sand. The yellow tinge from his aviators adds an additional glow to the world as he eyes up his former partner-turned-friend—a friend who apparently now gives unwarranted marriage advice.

Scratching his chin, he rolls his jaw. “You giving me permission, Murph?”

“C’mon, Jav. She’s nice, good to you. Clearly makes you very fuckin’ happy.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe I’m already planning it.”

“Yeah? Fuck. Can’t wait to tell Connie. She told me I needed to convince you.”

Javi shrugs, pushing the glasses up his nose. “It so hard to believe I’d have come to that conclusion on my own?”

“Before you met her? Yeah. Since her? No. Could tell you were smitten—”

Snorting, Javi runs his hand across his chin. “I was not fucking smitten.”

“Yeah, you fucking was. No shame in that, Jav. No shame in enjoying one good woman.”

Groaning, he turns back to the laughter. The corner of his lips twitched, wishing to slide into his cheeks as he watches you throw your head back, neck exposed, as Olivia tries to do a handstand.

“I got the ring last month.”

“Shit.”

Turning his head, he narrows his eyes, watching Steve put his hands up in defence.

“You just said—“

“Yeah, well. Forgot how determined y’can be about things. Surprised me. S’not a bad thing,” Steve says. “Just, y’know. Years ago, I knew you as the man who fucked his way through—“

Elbowing him, Javi smirks as he hears Steve splutter. A sharp look added as Steve holds his hand up.

“I’m not that person anymore, Murphy.”

His friend nods, apology falling. The evidence that he means it stitching into his expression—that he was just joking, teasing. An explanation coming, that he knows how he’s changed—all words he would have once craved hearing. But since meeting you, he’d found even the teasing didn’t upset him as much.

Clapping his hand on his shoulder, Javi looks over his shades. “I know. Alright. Just, I don’t like the reminder, that's all. Feels like… feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Y’telling me.”

Snorting, Javi slides his hand off. Moving his eyes back to the sight of Olivia grinning at the two of them. Her small hand trying to cover her mouth as she whispers something to you, something which Javi suspects involves him from the way she’s running full speed towards him.

“She’s grown up so quickly.”

He’s about to reply, but Olivia interrupts—skidding to a stop in the sand, kicking it across his feet. Swiftly, her hand—all small and delicate—wraps around and tugs on his hand.

“Uncle Javi, can you come play?”

Over the top of her, he spots you. Leaning your weight on one side, hand covering your brows to watch his expression.

And fuck, how can he say no to either of you.

hows pops?

He’s good. In fact, enough to be getting your Mom’s cookbooks down from the shelf for me.

I hope you know thats him saying he loves you

He has told me how much it means to him that I wanted these. Also keeps telling me that he’s happy they’ll be staying in the family.

bet that made you cry didn’t it 

Yes! Obviously. 

youre so cute baby

In my defence he caught me off guard with the comment, I was busy staring and deciphering the handwritten notes.

not gonna be able to read them now if youve cried all over them

As always, you’re hilarious. I obviously didn’t cry into the book! I cried in the bathroom.

you turn the tap on to try and hide it again

Shut up, Javi.

i should be back soon, just grabbing the parts now

Don’t rush, he’s fine. Promise. He even says his back is barely giving him any problems since I told him I’d cook from the book.

what you cooking?

Come home safe and find out.

youre such a tease 

Learned it from you baby. 

At one stage, Javi had been good with people.

Persuasive.

Now, he’s unsure if he even knows how to ask for a favour without giving something up or flirting.

He’s still charismatic, or so you tell him. But, he's pretty sure his tact has gone, impatience bubbling as he tries to pretend to give enough of a shit to be able to ask for the favour he wants.

For you, he decides to push through. To not walk back through the door he came through. He does stuff his hands into his jacket, the man staring at him, still wearing the same confused expression he had when Javi first stepped through the door.

Because even if he’s explained three fucking times, the man still doesn’t understand why he asked him to create the crossword he’s got clutched in his hands. 

The one that would never even go to print—just a single request. A favour. All personal, just for him. Not to be published in every newspaper, but just one.

The one for him, and him alone.

It didn't matter how many ways he explained it, the man remained confused. Only reluctantly accepting, he's sure, to get him to leave.

That had been days ago. Now, you're ahead of him. Your fingers brushing over the tops of long stands, occasionally looking over your shoulder at him, making him feel like he's stepped into one of the movies you've made him watch. 

Even when you look ahead, he can tell you’re grinning from behind—taking the view in. It's 'one of your favourites', something you’d told him the first time he brought you here. 

It’s why he brought you here, now.

Second to you, of course, baby. 

You stop some distance ahead, beginning to place down a blanket, all chequered and soft, as he comes to join you. Placing the basket in his hand down on the edge of it, before your fingers are swatting at him and undoing the ties before you grasp the bottle, food and other bits.

Not that he can eat, needing more than what the wine you’d grabbed would do.

Nerves bubbling, dancing and fluttering like the flies further down the hill. You don't notice. You're focused on the newspaper, the crossword he's not let you see for the last few hours, taunting you, making you wait.

He almost wishes he hadn't when it adds to the knot in his stomach, it tightening more when you become irritated at his coyness as he's reading out the clues—

Javi, what are you up to? You always do down, across, down. Always.

You’d have made a good detective or DEA agent.

Likely given him and Murphy a run for their money—something Steve had even said to you both when the two of you were in Miami. Sand in your toes, sea air in your hair—grin brighter than the sun.

“Give it here,” you say, not sharply, but not playfully either.

His hand wipes his lower mouth, hiding his smirk, having wanted you to do that for the past fifteen minutes.

When you take the crossword, you’re chewing. 

Distracted, barely able to spot him sliding the remainder of your punnet from reach. Because Javi remembers how you feel about being asked any critical questions when you are eating.

He supposes it's the one benefit of you making him watch so many romcoms. It allowed him to do market research and ask questions without raising your suspicion, such as where wouldn't you like to be asked and if you want him down on one knee. 

Mainly, I don’t want to have food in my teeth when I’m being asked. Don't want to spit any leftovers at you in my shock.  

“Hey,” he whispers, stealing your attention—watching you smile, glancing at your clean teeth. “Eres preciosa.”

Your lips slide, curling up into your cheek. “You’re such a flirt, Peña.”

Kissing your cheek, he keeps his arm around you. Fingers playing with the fabric on your hip—balling it up before smoothing it out. Thumb and index brushing, calming, soothing him as your eyes glance over the page.

Occasionally, asking him things, avoiding the clues he desperately wants you to solve.

Until.

Fuck, until.

“Javi.”

“Hmm,” he mumbles, pretending indifference, head tilted down, resting his chin on your shoulder—knowing from the high-pitched way you said this name that you’ve already cracked it.

Your fingers slide over the paper, smothering the white and black boxes from view. “Javi?”

“Yes, baby.”

“I think that’s my reply, isn’t it?”

Lips curling, he wraps his fingers around your chin, turning you to face him. Watching it happen in slow motion, how you smile before you grin—tears all but filling your eyes as you clearly try not to get ahead of yourself.

“You wanna make me less lonely, cariño?”

Swallowing, you drop the paper. Let it fall to the blanket, twisting your body until your knees are between his thighs as you take both sides of his cheeks.

“Sí.”

“Sí?”

Nodding, a tear falls. It's one shimmering with joy and happiness, his thumb swiping it, spreading it across your skin.

“I don’t know… I don’t know the translation,” you laugh, it spluttering, fingers stroking his skin. “But I’ll marry you. I love you. Yes, Javi.”

And he whispers it.

The translation. Pressing it, as well as I love you, to your lips as his arms snake further around your waist. Hearing you, all quiet, it almost buried in kisses, repeating the translation back.

Before he falls backwards into the grass, with you on top of him—his fiancé. His world.

you fancy coming to laredo in autumn

Any particular reason?

been told I need a best man and I only know you

an: gosh, here we are. i began writing late night texts one night after a chaotic chat with @guyfieriii because i was manic/sad/anxious all at once and it was the only logical thing i could focus on. as much as javi and reader saved one another, they saved me too. thank you to you lovely lot. not only did you welcome this in with open arms, but you cheered me on every single week (also, btw, how cool is it we didn't miss a single week omg). i owe you so much, and i cannot believe we made it here together. to the old followers, i see you. to the new ones who just discovered me, hey, welcome. to all of the friends I've harrassed over the last few months, i love you. to the new ones I've made, i also love you omg. i'm already missing this pair so much, and i cannot wait until we get to hang out with them sporadically. i'm going to go cry in a corner, but just know my heart is so full and so happy and it's all down to you all 🩷

[itsravenbitch]

hey yalllll! this is a quick follow up on this ask

i’m not gonna make this an in depth post because, baby, ion got the time for that. but lemme go ahead and tell y’all, my babies, how i just got new family members!! now, i know that sounds like i just went to target and bought them but y’all know what i mean😭 so bear with me, please and thank you.

so for some backstory: i originally come from a family of 5 including me, my mama, my daddy, and my 2 sisters. my dad is a hypocrite and a yeller (can’t stand a yeller). my mom likes to gaslight, my older sister also likes to gaslight and is one petty mf. and my little sister always tryna act like she older than me and ion like that cause, sweetheart, i’m twice your age.

so what’s new?

their personality and looks—they’re completely different people. i only wanted to change their looks because it was weird to imagine them as these new personalities because, their faces are just so deeply associated with those old personalities. so i was like lemme alter them according to these new personalities.

how?

the same way you manifest anything else. decide, accept, and persist.

the execution.

as some of y’all may or may not know, i live in a different state than the rest of my family because of college. but i’ve been coming back to texas this summer quite frequently to visit them and my childhood friends. i fulfilled my imagination before i got on the plane to houston, literally while in the airport, so when my parents picked me up that’s when i physically saw they had reflected my imagination. and i later on saw my sisters too.

when?

this happened within 5/6 hours. and i was not in the slightest bit shocked. when i saw my parents the first thing that popped up in my head was “oh okay rae! we materializing shit quick i seeee” 🤣 the thoughts i be having, you’d think i was talking to someone fr. i really am my own best friend😂 i love it here!

end.

feel free to ask questions, i’ll probably get to them in a few hours. i’m bout to take a nice lil nap. i just wanted to proofread and post real quick cause it’s been in the drafts for a week and a half now. and my drafts just keep on getting bigger, further burying this post.

love y’all

— raven😘

[ashwhowrites]

can you write a cheerleader reader x eddie story where eddie and the reader are acquaintances but they both like each other. eddie has a best friend who’s just like him into metal, d&d, black and reader is the exact opposite! i’m talking wears pink 24/7 unless she’s in cheer uniform, room full of stuff animals and ballerina decor and whitney houston. the ultimate girly girl. well one day eddie is supposed to meet reader after hellfire to finally ask her out after flirting for a few weeks and eddie’s best friend sees reader waiting and is a total bitch to reader. says that eddie would never like a girl like her and that she’s in a completely different world than eddie and that eddie is just using her to make the best friend jealous. let’s say they used to hook up or something just to add some angst 😮‍💨 then eddie comes looking for reader and his best friend just says that you left and eddie is very confused because you seemed like you liked him or whatever and after avoiding him for a while he finally confronts you and you explain everything. maybe it ends with them finally getting together and eddie making his friend apologize. this was so long i’m so sorry and i hope you’re feeling better!

I absolutely can! I love this idea. I hope this is what you were looking for and you enjoy it <3

The opposite

Eddie Munson liking a cheerleader was something Hellfire didn't think they'd see. And seeing Eddie swoon over a girl was different for them. But they secretly adored it. He was like a puppy as he watched her from across the cafeteria. His eyes locked on her during the cheer routines.

And people were shocked to see how much she liked him too. How often she stared right back at him. Her flirty smiles in the hallways had Eddie walking into lockers. Everyone seemed to be rooting for them, except Eddie's best friend.

Britton did not like the popular crowd. She stood by the words Eddie used to mean. The endless rants about how the popular are scum and won't exist outside of high school. But here he was, drooling over the head cheerleader like every other guy. She hated it. She hated watching Eddie do everything he could to get Y/N's attention. She can't stand that all he talked about was her.

"I did it! Your boy got himself a date!" Eddie cheered, sitting down at the cafeteria table. Slamming his hands down to make sure everyone's attention was on him. The table cheered but Britton felt herself rolling her eyes.

"Told you she'd say yes!" Dustin said, slapping Eddie's shoulder as a congratulations. Britton knew exactly who Eddie was talking about and it tasted sour in her mouth. She'd been after Eddie for years after he broke off their arrangement, and she didn't understand how Eddie could like a cheerleader over her. She was just like Eddie, and they had so much in common. Way more than him and a cheerleader.

"When is it?" Britton asked, smiling sweetly as she softly touched his hand that rested on the table. Eddie quickly moved his hand as he answered, "Friday night after hellfire." It was a few days away, but he was already excited.

Y/N wasn't someone he thought he'd be into, but she was gorgeous. She wore bubble gum lip gloss, pink sweaters and skirts, pink nails, and always had a smile on her face. Eddie adored her in her cheerleading uniform, but the soft sweaters felt amazing against his body when she'd smash him in a hug. She smelt like flowers and something sweet. He was obsessed with her.

Britton and Eddie had a past, one that Britton didn't want to end but Eddie called it quits. She was still hung up on it and Eddie moved on. They were in two different places and Britton couldn't handle that.

~~~

Friday night arrived, and Eddie and Y/N were nervous. Eddie spent the whole day figuring out what to wear for tonight. He had to wear his hellfire shirt for the campaign so he figured he'd change after it was over.

They spent the whole day smiling and blushing as they passed each other. They didn't have many classes together, but their eyes were always looking for each other.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? You guys are opposites." Britton tried again.

"Yes, I'm sure. We've been talking for months, we have hung out as friends a few times and we exchanged phone numbers. If we didn't get along, we wouldn't be going on the date." Eddie explained, rolling his eyes as he walked through the halls to hellfire.

"Oh come on Eddie! She's the head of the cheerleading team. And probably listens to Whitney Houston while she dances in her bedroom. She's not your type!" Britton argued. She couldn't believe how lovesick he was for Y/N. He'd never dated a girl like that in years.

"And what's my type?" Eddie snapped, turning around sharply as he looked at her. He was sick of Britton bad-mouthing Y/N every single time he brought her up.

"I don't know, maybe someone that knows what DnD is or listens to the same music you like. Someone edgy and alternative. Not miss Pink Ballerina. And not a cheerleader." Britton argued, trying to make him realize how idiotic he sounded.

"What, someone like you?" He chuckled, he knew Britton wasn't going to let their past fling go but damn he wished she would.

"Don't laugh. In case you forgot we were together, Eddie. I'm just like you and I am your type! We would make so much more sense than you and Y/N, why can't you see that? She's popular! She's going to ruin you and embarrass you. She probably doesn't even like you, some type of game the squad is playing and you are the idiot falling for it. All because you want to date the prettiest girl in school." She scoffed.

"And in case you forgot it was just sex and I called that off. You aren't my type. Yeah, she's popular, but she's sweet and caring. She isn't an asshole like the rest of them. Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not being used or being treated as a joke. She and I have something and I don't care if others don't see it. I like her and she likes me. You and I were nothing and will never be anything. Now leave me the fuck alone and keep her name out of your mouth." Eddie spat, turning around to walk into the classroom.

Britton was fuming, her eyes glaring as his body disappeared into the room. At one point, Eddie did like her, and she was the main attraction in his life. Now he's blinded but she had a plan to get him to see clearly again.

~~~

Y/N rocked on her feet as she waited for Eddie outside of the school. She changed out of her uniform and into a pink dress. Her white sneakers scrape rocks back and forth. She was nervous but relieved that Eddie asked her out. She loved talking to him and hanging out with him. And she was worried he'd only want to be friends and she'd be the only one with a crush. But the feelings were mutual and she couldn't wait for their first date.

She checked her watch as she waited. She knew Eddie's campaign could go longer so she wasn't worried. She took out her pocket mirror and reapplied her lip gloss, when she closed the mirror she jumped as she saw a girl standing there.

"Oh hi!" She greeted, trying to recover from her frightened state. She wasn't sure who she was but she knew she was a friend of Eddie's. She's seen her walking around with him countless times.

"Hi! I just wanted to talk to you about Eddie. Girl to girl, I can't let him do this to you. It's too unfair." Britton pouted, faking a sweetness in her voice as she went to grab Y/N's hands.

"Um, what?" Y/N asked, now growing nervous as the girl looked at her with pity.

"You see, Eddie and I used to have sex all the time. Then he asked for a relationship and I just wasn't ready. He was so broken up about it, so much that he never brought it up. But I can tell what he's doing. He's just using you to make me jealous, sweetie. Look at us, you are the exact opposite of me. If he likes me, why would he like you? And I'm so sorry he'd do that to you." Britton patted Y/N's hands. That same fake pout on her face as she watched her words hit Y/N where it hurt.

"But...but how do you know? Maybe he just moved on." Y/N tried to defend him. Not wanting to believe Eddie was that shallow and would use her like that.

"We made out an hour ago." Britton shrugged, a smirk on her face as Y/N took the bait. Y/N removed her hands from Britton's a pained smile on her face.

"Thank you for letting me know," Y/N said, quickly racing to her car as she dug for her keys.

Britton stood proudly as she watched the cheerleader race into her car. A smirk on her face as she watched Y/N wipe her eyes and pull out of the parking lot.

~~~

Eddie threw his hellfire shirt into his backpack as he finished changing. He walked out to the parking lot with his keys dangling on his fingers. He looked around to see where Y/N was waiting but he saw no one. The lot was empty except for his van. He felt disappointed but he knew her. She probably had an emergency, and she'd call.

But when Eddie got home, he received no messages and no calls. He didn't hear a word from her. Was Britton right? Eddie didn't want to believe so. He liked Y/N and he wanted to hold on to the hope that something just came up.

But then he didn't hear from her the whole weekend. Even when he called her, he received nothing.

When Monday came around, he kept his eye out for her. Hoping he'd have a chance to pull her aside and ask her what happened.

"How was date night?" Britton asked, a small smirk on her face as Eddie visibly deflated.

"Got stood up." He mumbled, embarrassed to admit Britton had been right.

"Shit, Eddie. I'm sorry." She said, her eyes looking behind him to see Y/N watching from afar.

Britton quickly wrapped Eddie in her arms, hugging him as she whispered in his ear, a smirk on her face.

Y/N felt her stomach turn seeing Eddie and Britton wrapped up in each other. The smirk on Britton's face gave Y/N a tiny insight into what she was whispering in his ear. She swallowed the lump in her throat when Britton kissed Eddie's cheek.

It was true. She was a game piece.

"Thanks," Eddie said, pulling himself away from Britton. He hated to admit it, but all the popular kids were the same.

~~~

Eddie couldn't get a second with her. Once he found her, she went in the other direction. She ignored him as he yelled her name over and over. She's never been so distant with him and it killed him. He hated the giggles from the other students when they'd watch her completely ignore him. He was being made fun of again, and it was because of her. Because she stood him up because she ran away, and because she refused to acknowledge him. Everything he believed she was wasn't real.

~~~

A few days passed and neither spoke. She was still hurt by his actions and he was pissed at her. She tried to ignore the sting she felt every single time she saw Britton and Eddie together. They were always together, even more now that she was out of the picture. It seemed like Eddie's jealous plan worked.

Eddie still felt anger towards Y/N. Glaring whenever he saw her walk by. She was a coward and Eddie hated her for it. He deserved answers and he deserved an explanation. But she wasn't going to give it to him.

~~~

The winter dance was coming up and Eddie was nervous. The school offered little snowflake flowers to send to someone in the school. Eddie ordered one for Y/N before their falling out and now he wished he never bought it.

Y/N was reviewing her notes when a bouquet with snowflakes was placed in front of her. She looked up confused as the student walked away. She grabbed the bouquet, a small smile on her face. She'd never received something like that before. But her smile fell when she saw who it was from...Eddie Munson.

Eddie was smashing books in his locker when the door was slammed on him. He jumped back as his fingers barely made it out alive.

"THE HELL!" he yelled, looking to see Y/N standing there, holding the flowers and a pissed-off look. He matched her look, glaring at her.

"Your little jealous plan worked, so leave me the fuck alone." She spat, shoving the flowers in his chest, bashing her shoulder into his as she walked past him. But Eddie was confused about what she was pissed about, and what plan. He clenched the flowers as he followed her.

"Nah uh, missy." He growled, catching her elbow as he turned her around. She snatched her arm away, crossing them as she snarled in his direction.

"Now when someone gets you flowers, the nice thing to do is say thank you," Eddie mocked, a smirk on his face as he watched her growl. "And what the fuck are you pissed about? I should be the one pissed off. Which I am!"

"You? Why in the hell would you be mad? You got everything you wanted. I'm pissed off because you hurt me and used me like I meant nothing." Eddie watched as her hard expression broke down. A look of vulnerability crossed her face.

"What are you talking about? You stood me up and then refused to talk to me. You acted like I didn't exist in your preppy little world." Eddie scoffed. He refused to let her guilt trip him. No matter how sad her pretty eyes looked.

"I stood you up because Britton told me everything!" She snapped, her eyes hard again mentioning Britton. Eddie felt his body stiffen. His jaw tight and his teeth clenched.

"What did she tell you?" He said through his teeth. He was even more pissed and not toward Y/N anymore.

"You guys had a fling and you wanted more. She said no and you used me to make her jealous. Well congratulations Eddie, you got your girl." She smiled as she turned around but Eddie stopped her again.

"She lied! It was the other way around. I never liked her like that and she wanted a relationship. I called it off when we started talking. I didn't want anyone else but you. She's been trying to get me to forget you for months. But she won't be able to. You are all I think about and all I want to talk about. I love spending time with you and I was so excited to go on that date. I love being friends with you but fuck I want so much more with you." Eddie explained, praying to anyone listening that she'd believe him. "You have to believe me." He pleaded.

"I don't know, Eddie..." she trailed off but Eddie refused. He flung himself to his knees, the flowers in his hands as he looked up at her.

"Eddie, what are you doing!" She panicked as the bell rang. A flood of students made their way through the halls, and froze as they saw Eddie on his knees.

"Get up, people are looking." She spazzed, trying to yank him up but he refused.

"I am sorry for everything and for the shit, she said to you. I really like you and I want to give us a fair shot. I'm on my knees, begging for you to believe me, and to ask, Y/N will you be my date to the dance?" He dramatically gave his speech, his voice echoing through the halls for every student to hear. She found herself laughing at his ridiculousness.

She pretended to think, the students circling around them.

"PLEASE Y/N PLEASE," he begged, shouting with a smile as she laughed down at him.

"YES! Okay now stand up!" She giggled, Eddie smiled as he jumped back up to his feet. Handing the flowers over to her as she happily accepted it this time.

"NOTHING TO SEE MOVE ALONG!" he shouted, the students going their own ways as Eddie smiled at her.

"You won't regret it." Eddie promised

"Better not, Munson." She smiled, kissing his cheek as she excused herself to walk to class. She looked over her shoulder to smile at him one more time.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

[libraryofloveletters]

Nothing Without You

John Stones x Fem!Reader

Warnings: best friends in love but also in denial, everyone can see it but them, lots of softness, alcohol and the consumption of (lots of it), drunk jack grealish (thats a warning in itself), swearing, it’s so family coded between the players and kids and wags, baby fever from john’s end, friendly teasing from the other players, horrible singing, drunken posting, Sasha and reader are lowkey besties, hangovers for dayssssss 

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: you can blame the great miss whitney houston for this. every song she has is so john coded and in honour of the treble win, I had to do this. 

--

Attached at the hip since you two were 20, it’s been that way since the first day you met; John was the drunk guy singing off key to Whitney Houston and you were the girl dancing next to him. 

Inseparable since. 

Istanbul had you all on the edge of your seat, fingers crossed and your heart pounding out of your chest as you watched Inter kick the ball towards the net. Ederson swatted the ball away and they managed to kick it from the net just as the final whistle blew. 

One. 

Two. 

Three. 

The match was over and you could breathe again; you can’t imagine how the boys must be feeling. Everyone goes running onto the field, the boys collapsing and hugging each other, screaming and shouting as the entire stadium cheers. 

“They did it!!” You turned to the woman shouting next to you. 

You pulled Sasha into a hug, “they did it!!” You shouted back. The two of you stood together as you watched the trophy ceremony, and the boys received their metals. The blue and white confetti covered the green grass and the fireworks covered the black night sky. 

“C’mon!” You grabbed her hand as you made your way down to the field to see the boys. 

John spots you before you spot him. The man in blue comes running to you, arms open before he reaches you. “Johnny!!!” You screamed, jumping on your best friend. He grinned, wrapping his arms around you as he pressed a fat kiss to your cheek, dangerously close to your lips. 

The player swings you around before putting you down. Your hands squished his face, “Johnny!! I'm soooo proud of you. You’re a fucking champion!”

“Fucking champions!!” He laughs, kissing your temple as he puts his arm over your shoulder. 

You two walked around the pitch, John stopping every two seconds to talk to his teammates and the Man City staff.  You had wandered off, spotting Riyad’s fiancé, Taylor and their daughter, Mila. “Hi baby girl,” you smiled, tickling her side. “You wanna hold her?” Taylor asks and you smile, nodding. 

She hands the little girl over to you and you kiss her cheek, fixing her little Man City jersey. You felt someone grab your leg and you look down to see none other than Ronnie. “Hi buddy!” You kneel down, moving to sit on the ground with Mila. 

“Hi y/n! Hi Mila!” He holds her little hand, the two of them giggling over something. You weren’t really paying attention to what he was telling her but it was making her laugh. 

John patted his friend’s back, the two of them turning their attention to you on the floor with the kids. Riyad doesn’t miss the way John’s eyes light up when he looks at you or how his smile brightens. You covered Mila’s eyes before Ronnie made a silly face at her. The three of you giggling like the best of friends. The big number 5 on your back and the sight of kids in your arms only made John’s heart skip a beat. 

“She's good with them, huh?” He says, getting John’s attention. 

“What?” He asks, confused. 

Riyad nods towards you with the kids. “Y/n... she's good with the kids.” 

“Oh,” John nods, smiling. “Yeah. She’s great.” 

The man shakes his head, nudging his friend with his shoulder. Riyad laughs, “you just don’t get it.” 

He picks up Mila, rubbing Ronnie’s head as he passes by with the little girl. John wanders over to you, a hand stretched out to help you up. 

“Shall we take a picture?” He held your hand, walking over to Erling and his girlfriend who currently had the trophy. 

You smiled watching as Erling stood up and handed the massive silver trophy over to his teammate. You and Isabel were whispering something to each other when John replaced Erling on the random chair in the middle of the pitch, the trophy balanced on his right leg. 

“Babe,” the word rolled off his tongue, a common name amongst the many nicknames he had for you. “C’mere.” He pats his free thigh. 

You walked over and sat yourself down on his leg, an arm over his shoulder to balance yourself. John wraps an arm around your waist, a hand on your hip with the other holding the trophy. Your arm was still over his shoulder and the other was holding the other side of the trophy. 

One of the photographers shouts, “Smile!” John ignores him, letting you hold up the weight of the trophy for a minute, taking the medal around his neck off. He slings it around your neck, straightening it before holding the trophy again. 

“Okay, ready now.” He tells no one in particular, the two of you smiling at the various cameras. 

You giggled as John pinched your hip, getting you to smile brighter; the way he liked. 

You were about to take the medal off but he stopped you, “keep it. It looks better on you,” he smiled as he passed the trophy off to Jack when you two got up. 

--- 

There’s shouting, music and laughter coming from the other side of your hotel door. The boys were in full party mode but all decided to take a quick minute to freshen up before heading out again. 

All of them except for the one you were certain was banging on your room door. 

“Y/n!!” He sang along with the music, knocking again. “C’mon! I know you’re in there!!” He shouts as you open the door. 

Jack stood there in his kit, medal over his neck as he dragged the big speaker behind him. He looks at you like you were an alien; lipstick in one hand, your drink in the other with the curlers pinned in your hair so you can freshen it up.

“You’re not ready?!” He shouts as if you were down the hallway. 

You laughed, shaking your head. “What are you even doing up here? I thought you went straight to the club.” 

"I came looking for- Oh! Here!” He turns around and grabs something, handing you a shot glass filled with some gold liquid when he turns back around. You look at the man like he's insane.

You brought the glass up to your face, the heavy scent of tequila caused you to wrinkle your nose. “Where'd you even get this?”

Jack’s got his own shot in hand, tapping his glass to yours. “We're fucking champions of Europe, baby! Cheers!” he shouted, the two of you giggling as you downed your shots in the doorway like teenagers getting drunk off cheap booze before a party. The tequila burns on the way down but Jack turns, the half empty bottle of 1942 in hand when he spins around again and he refills the shot glasses.

 You tap your glass to his and drink this shot too, thinking you can finally get rid of him, allowing yourself to finish getting ready in peace but Jack starts singing and refilling the shot glasses once again. 

“John, John, Johnny Stonesssss!” He held the note, “where are you, my Johnny Stones?!” 

And as if he was summoned, John stepped out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. You won’t lie and say your best friend wasn’t attractive because he was but you couldn't look at him like that; despite looking at him like that right now. Your eyes fixed on the man, watching the way the water dripped down his chest, following the little drops all the way down to the towel that stopped them from going further. 

Even with him being drunk, Jack noticed the way you looked at his teammate. He wiggled his eyebrows as he tapped his glass to yours. The two of you downed what you hoped was the final set of shots before he left. 

He wiggled his eyebrows, John wasn’t paying attention to Jack at the moment. “Don’t fuck! Come down so we can get fucked upppppp.” 

“Fuck off,” you laughed, smacking his arm lightly. Jack waved to you, finally walking away to the elevator. 

John looks at you as he puts on his pants, “why is your face red?” 

“Had a few shots with Jack,” you held up the empty shot glass, finally putting your lipstick on. John nods, humming as he finishes getting dressed. You were ��glad Jack stopped in because what else would you blame your red cheeks on? The fact that you were gawking at your shirtless best friend? 

Insane. 

He comes over to you, his hand on your hip as he watches you pull the last curler from your hair. 

“Ready?” His eyes meet yours in the mirror. 

You nod, smiling. “Ready.” 

The club was five minutes from the hotel, you bumped into Phil and Becca on your way to the lobby, the four of you deciding to head there together. From the moment you stepped inside, John and Phil were instantly pulled into hugs, conversations and promises of dances, not to mention all the drinks all of you were being handed before you even made it to the bar. 

The four of you got separated, you and Becca found a few of the other girls who had lost their other halves and were sorta dancing and chatting at the same time  - it was more of a shout over the music but you were all too many shots in to care.

At some point, you decided you needed another drink that wasn’t in a shot glass. “I’m gonna get a drink!” You shouted to Becca and she gave you a thumbs up. “Do you want anything?” 

“No! I’m good babe!” She smiles, letting you walk off to the bar. 

You navigate your way through the crowd and eventually find the bar. The bartender was busy and you waited, not wanting to be one of those people at shouts at the bartenders who were clearly busy. A few minutes later, he found his way to you so you could order and just as you do, you feel a set of hands on your hips.

“I was looking for you!” The person shouts to you, a chin on your shoulder before you turn around. 

You find John holding onto you, a big goofy grin on his face and you could smell the liquor on him; now if he split something on himself or if he had one too many shots, it was unclear but one thing was, that he was having a good time. 

“I was looking for you too!” You shouted back to him, smiling at him. 

Just as you turn around to get your drink, the opening notes of I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston come on; an odd choice for a club you think to yourself but John doesn’t follow the same train of thought. The man grabs your hand, the drink spilling as he pulls, practically yanked, you to the dance floor.

“This!” He shouts, “is my fucking song!” 

You giggled, letting him pull you to him before you two started singing. 

“Take my love, I’ll never ask for too much. Just all that you are and everything that you do.” You sang to John, arms over his shoulders and your hand resting on the back of his neck. 

The man’s hand reached for your hips, pulling you a few inches closer. “I don't really need to look very much further. I don't wanna have to go, where you don't follow.”

“I won't hold it back again, this passion inside. Can't run from myself. There's nowhere to hide.” You sang the next part. 

John spun you around, your back to his chest, his arms wrapped around you and held you close to him. You can feel his chin on your shoulder, the stubble on his jaw rubbed against yours as he pressed his face to yours. 

“Don't make me close one more door. I don't wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms if you dare or must I imagine you there. Don't walk away from me.” He sang horribly off key. 

You giggled as you two sang the last part together; “I have nothing, nothing, nothing if I don't have you, you, you, you, you, you.” 

John lets go of you, your hand still on his shoulder as you two danced to the other song. You take a sip from your drink only to find the ice hitting your lips. “I need another one!” You tell him, wandering off to the bar again. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Jack and Erling giggling. 

“What?” You shouted to them and Jack ran over. “You and John are so cute, it makes me wanna puke!” He laughs, a hand on your arm.

Erling slings his arm over your shoulder, “yeah! Get a room!” 

“Fuck off, both of you!” You laughed, ignoring them. 

You left them at the bar, a drink in hand as you walked off to find John again. The man was with Kyle and Ruben, the 3 of them pouring a round of shots. 

“Want one?” Kyle held a glass out to you and you nod, taking it from him. John’s arm slings over your shoulder, pulling you into his side before the 4 of you holding up your shots. 

“To us! To the treble! To the champions of Europe!” Kyle shouts over the music, the clear liquid slipping over the rim of the glass, all of you downing your shots. 

Kyle pulls Ruben to dance, the two of them amongst the last set of people on the dance floor. It was nearly 5am, the sun was peeking through the clouds over the city and all of you had been up for nearly 24 hours straight. There was a flight back to Manchester in 5 hours and you figured you two could sneak in a few hours of sleep. 

John had the same thought, “ready to go?” He whispers to you, lips pressed to your ear. You nod, holding his hand as you two walk out. He shouted to his friends as you two walked out of the club, his fingers interlocked with yours when you got into the cab back to the hotel. 

The walk up to the room was no better, his hands on your hips, the two of you giggling as you tried to undo the lock on the door, the keycard not buzzing. John’s face buried in your neck, the stubble on his chin tickling at your skin, you shrugging him off and finally got into the room. 

He went to the bathroom to change and you were on the bed, taking a moment to gather yourself before you tried to get your shoes off. Eventually you managed to undo the strap and kicked them off, letting them land somewhere. 

“Fuck,” you heard from groan from the bathroom, you slowly got up and walked over. 

You could see the man in the reflection of the mirror, his fingers tugging at the buttons on his shirt but he wasn’t getting them undone. “Need help?” you asked, pushing the door open. 

John dropped his hands, “please.” 

Your hands slowly made its way down, undoing the buttons for him. The medal around his neck slung as he moved and he finally got the hint after you pushed it away like 4 times. John took it off, you assumed he’d set it down somewhere but instead he slung it around your neck, the heavy gold pendent hitting your sternum when he let go. 

“Perfect,” he smiled to himself as he watched you undo the last button. 

You picked up the medal. “What’s this for?” 

“Just ‘cause and you’re the coolest ever,” he hugs you from behind, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror. “And because I love you sooooooo much,” he smiled, kissing your jaw when he leaned down. 

Your cheeks are bright red, swatting the man’s hands when he pinches your side. 

The phone on the counter catches your eye and you pick it up, manage to unlock it and open the camera. “Smile,” you told him, leaning back on him. John’s arm wrapped around you, over your shoulder as you two smiled at each other in the mirror. 

There’s a series of drunken photos being taken; his arms around you, the two of  you making silly faces, laughing and giggling. Somehow you’re leaning over the counter and he’s got the phone now, you’re still laughing. There’s one of you hugging him, you kiss his cheek and in the next one, he kisses yours. Somehow you got your signals crossed, both of you turning to kiss each other on the cheek and ended up actually kissing. Your hand on his cheek as you giggled against his lips. 

“We should try to sleep,” you tell him as you hopped up onto the counter. 

John leaned on you and was clicking away from his phone. “Uh huh,” he finally put the phone down, wrapping his arms around you before he picked you up.“Let’s go then,” he carried you back to the bedroom, you giggled as you held onto him, the man dropping you on the bed before joining you. 

--- 

The airport was noisy, your head pounding and you were still refusing to open your eyes. John’s arm was around you and you were cuddled into his side, trying to get a few more seconds of peace before the team headed out for this flight back to Manchester. The rest of you would all be on your own flights home later in the day. 

Kevin was passing by, a smile on his face as he looked at this teammate. “Good  man, Johnny.” He pats the man’s shoulder. John gives him a puzzled smile, watching Kevin walk away. 

You open your eyes slightly, looking at your friend. “What is Kev on about?” 

“Not a clue,” John rubbed your arm, letting you settle back into his side. 

Gundo walked by, a big smile on his face as he looked between the two of you. John was beyond confused as to why all his teammates were in a good mood, patting his shoulders and telling him good job. 

Either he was delusional and stuck in an alternate reality or they were all still drunk.  

“YOU GUYS FINALLY DID IT!!!!” Jack shouts, jumping in front of you both. “Oh god, make him shut up.” You grumbled in John’s arm, making him chuckle. 

Sasha shushed the man, pulling him back a bit. “Jack!” She scolded him, “be quiet.

“Okay, I’m confused. What is going on?” John asked. Jack’s looking at you two like you’re mad, “you- what do you mean what’s going on?” He reaches for his phone to show you something but the screen won’t turn on. 

Sasha ignores her boyfriend for a moment, showing you both what Jack was trying to show you on her phone. There it is, the reason everyone has been looking at you two funny; a series of photos from the series of photos you took last night, you and John in the bathroom with the medal around your neck, kissing and John’s shirt undone. 

Quite the scandal. 

“Oh my god.” You looked at the phone, and then John, and then back to the phone and back to John again. Sasha nodded, “it's out there now.. but based on that look on your face, I’m guessing those weren’t meant to be posted?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, John was already reaching for his phone. “I’ll delete them.” 

Your hand rested on his, stopping him. “Don’t.. it's already out there. It's fine.” 

John looked at you, “you’re sure?” 

“100%” 

He smiles at you just as the announcement plays over the speaker. “All Manchester City players and staff, please report to gate 3B for departure.” 

You and Sasha walked them to the gate. The couple next to you were all wrapped up, whispering something to each other like it's the last time they’d see each other - they’d be reunited in a few hours. 

John’s hand rests on your lower back, “I’ll see you at home?” 

You nodded, a smile on your face. “I’ll see you at home.” He pulled you against him, your hand on his cheek when you kissed him. Foreheads pressed to each other’s, giggling like teenagers in love. 

“Can you let go of her for a second?” Jack interrupted, “let me say bye to my friend?” 

John rolls his eyes playfully, letting you go. You and Jack hugged goodbye for now, John and Sasha doing the same. “We’ll see you at home,” she called to them, the two of them waving from the tunnel. 

You were about to walk away but John dropped his bag, running back to you. “What are you doing-” The man cuts you off with a kiss; very hallmark-esque of him. 

“You’re gonna miss your flight,” you whispered to him. 

“They won’t leave without me.” He smiles, giving you another kiss. You gave him a little push, sending him on his way. 

You jogged to catch up with Sasha, the two of you heading off to get a coffee. The woman nudged you with her shoulder as you two stood in line. You look over at her and nod, waiting for her to say something.

“I’m glad you two finally came to your senses.” She smiled and you laughed. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

-- 

taglist: @thesnailus @alwaysclassyeagle @lettersfromvenus @mehrmonga @callsignvenus @kmc1989 @valentinehrts​

add yourself to the taglist!

[wol-fica]

-𝕊𝕙𝕖 ℙ𝔸ℝ𝕋 𝟚-

parings - jennaortega x fem!reader

summary - before jenna ortega became a huge actress and held the world in her hand, she only had you

warnings - angst, high schoolers lol, all characters are 18 and up :)

an - hi :) [DISCLAIMER: This story is not affiliated with @/tonyspanks ‘SHE’ series. Two different stories, same title]

—————————

The school day flew by for you, all because you couldn't stop thinking about the sweet girl who invited you over for studying. Every class you were scolded for zoning out, but you couldn't help thinking of what events could occur at the certain latina’s house.

You had never been invited over before; yes you have been by the house to drop off Jenna’s younger twins because she was to sick to pick them up from school, but you had never been inside. 

But unfortunately, all your excitement was diminished when you spotted Jenna standing at her locker, with Houston Moores, the star football player of the highschool team. He was leaning up against the wall, standing over her with a playful smile on his face, and as you drew closer, you could hear Jenna giggling.

Not wanting an interaction with the two, you went straight for your locker and started gathering your things to head home. Jenna turned around from the noise and instantly smiled she saw you, her eyes lighting up like a christmas tree.

"Y/N!" She cheesed, giving the you a swift hug.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach, startling you so much that you jolted backwards at the abrupt gesture. Jenna looked at you with concern, her eyes softening at your startled state.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She said, fixing the wrinkles in your shirt.

You shook your head, the few strands of hair that hung at the front of your face came undone, so you subtly tucked them back behind your ear. Jenna found that action one of the most adorable things you do, along with the way your nose crinkles when you laugh, and how your eyebrows knit together when you are focused.

"It's fine Jenna, I'm good." You replied with a small smile..

Jenna returned the smile before someone behind them coughed harshly. Your y/e/c eyes met Houston’s coffee brown ones, which happened to be filled with confusion and jealousy. Jenna seemed to have someone flick a switch inside her, and she straightened her self up immediately.

"Hey, I'm sorry but I don't think you can come over today." Jenna said to you, giving you an apologetic frown.

You raised an eyebrow, but refrained from speaking. Something that you learned from being constantly picked on, is to keep silent, you found out that if you don't give a reaction, the latter will leave you alone.

"I'm sorry." Jenna repeated, watching your every

move.

"It's fine, I think I had some stuff to do anyways." You lied, giving a fake smile that only Jenna could recognize.

"Are you sure?" She asked, taking a small step towards you.

You scoffed, shoving the last of your belongings into your book bag. You slung it over your shoulder, turning to face the girl you were so obsessed with.

"I'm sure, most don't get angry with their friends canceling on them repeatedly." You sneered, sarcasm laced in your voice.

You stared down Jenna’s beautiful brown eyes before turning on your heel and hurrying off to your car outside. Yes, you felt somewhat bad for yelling at her, but at the same time you didn't regret what you said. Jenna had canceled on you constantly in the past, creating a repetitive nature of the two of you making plans but not ever meeting up. It ended causing you to never want to even try to make plans, because Jenna would inevitably drop out at the last minute.

'It's whatever, she doesn't even care half the time' You thought bitterly.

Little did you know, she was watching you run off, a sinking feeling in her chest telling her that she definitely did care.

———————————

After your mini tantrum in front of Jenna, you proceeded to head to a drunk Halloween themed party the next day. You wanted to get your mind off of the rose smelling sweetheart by drinking off your sorrows with tons and tons of vodka.

Sounds great!

Currently you were getting ready, putting the final touches on your costume. You decided to go as 'Lara Croft' from 'Tomb Raider', but as things were expensive and you weren’t gonna try to make a red carpet worthy outfit, you settled for a more watered down version. In your opinion, all you had to do was wear a tank top, shorts, and combat boots, roll in dirt, then have a bow and arrow on your back.

"I can't believe my sister is going to a cheesy Halloween party!" Theo said dramatically, taking photos of you while you finished up your makeup.

"I'm not six Theo, I'm allowed to go to parties." You replied, putting your mascara away.

"You are missing my point! Y/N Y/L/N, a lesbian, is gonna hang with a bunch of low ledge straights!"

You snorted, shaking out your hair that hung loosely around your shoulders. You decided to let it loose, seeing that now was a perfect time to 'fuck up the normal'. After you finished cleaning your vanity, you turned to see your brother shaking his head at you.

"Cmon Theo, if you are so concerned just come with me." You suggested, grabbing your bag.

"I don't have a costume dingus, I can't just show up."

Theo responded while using your red lipstick.

You rolled your eyes as you packed your bag with the necessary things you relies on, including your epipen, your inhaler, and an extra sweater because fashion changes are vital. Most of the time you wouldn't have to use your medical devices, but you still needed them in the case an emergency happened. It would be bad to go into shock at a drunk party anyways. 

"Theo, you look like a drag queen half the time, if you show up like how you do know no one will care." You said, throwing your bag over your shoulder.

Theo gave you a glare, paused in thought, then slumped his shoulders and walked past you.

"Fine, but if you get laid don't come running to me for a ride home." He snipped, grabbing his keys.

"Who the hell would want to have sex with me Theo?"

"Oh I dunno, Jenna Ortega?"

You froze in your tracks, slowly turning to face your brother. He had a triumphant smirk on his face, and his eyes showed gleams of curiosity.

"Y/N/N, I'm not stupid. I see the way you gawk at her." Theo said, getting into the drivers side.

You slowly followed suit, sliding slowly into the passenger seat next to him. He stared at you , cocking his head to the side.

"Y/N..." He started.

"What." You snapped, your arms crossed over your chest.

Theo sighed and squinted at the road ahead of him, aware of the cars passing by.

"Listen, I wasn't trying to be mean."

You were silent, watching the trees whizzing by in the background, your mind feeling melted.

"Y/N/N, I understand how you-."

"No, you don't!" You hissed, glaring at your half-brother.

See, you and Theo used to not get along; your relationship as half-siblings was exceedingly complicated and torn, as your father decided to ditch both of your moms and left you all to fend for yourselves for years until he came back on his hands and knees begging to be let back in. All he wanted was the money, but your mom never saw that and still hasn’t to this day.

Theo took on the role as a father figure to you, even though you both are the same age, but along with that he gained the trait of strictness and the indescribable obsession to make sure he always knew where you were. Those traits were lost when your family moved last summer, but that doesn't mean you forgot.

"You don't understand at all! You don't know what it's like to fall in love with someone who won't ever

consider you, who is happily living her dream and doesn't even like girls!" You yelled, slamming your hands down on top of the glove box. 

You gripped the cheap plastic, feeling it crack under you fingertips before you spoke, “She doesn’t even like me.”

You slumped backwards again, leaning to look back out the window. Everything you said was true, and unfortunately your feelings had grown subsequently for Jenna, but it seemed to you that you would never be able to have what you dreamt of.

"I'm sorry." Theo whispered.

"It's okay." You whispered back, keeping your gaze on the word outside.

Theo sighed but pressed the gas pedal down, driving down the wet road to the raging Halloween party.

——————————

taglist: @cartierdreamx@tundra1029@red1culous@vorsdany@andsoigotabutterfly@theafterofnevermore@yomomisgay@house-of-lovin@slvt4lanadelrey@thenextdawn@nepobaby08@dunohilly@somekindofpoet@alexkolax@cinffy23@pedrosprincess@amberfreemansburntface@myfturn

[radiant-reid]

Three

A/n: I didn't include 13x01 even though it happens right after, just because i wanted this more focused on the characters than the plot so that's why it's not here.

request (simplified): spencer and reader had started dating before everything went down and when he is taken to prison she finds out she's pregnant. The only person that knows is Emily and she doesn't want to tell spencer because it would just cause him pain to be locked inside. By the time he gets out, she already has a bump but he assumes she moved on with someone else. Once it is over she asks him to talk, he tries to tell her he understands and that he is happy for her so that's when she's like "spence, it's yours".

Summary: Three wishes, three requests, three things to say, and three people

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (angst then fluff)

Content Warning: pregnancy, prison arc, maeve arc

Word Count: 3.1k

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From the moment Y/n found out that Spencer had been arrested in Mexico, her life had been Hell.

There was irrational anger initially, wondering why he hadn't told her about the times he left the country on his personal passport while they were spending nights together in her apartment. Then sadness that he didn't trust her enough despite their regular morning coffee dates.

And then fear.

And with fear: helplessness.

Because despite the love she had for him making her feel like her whole world was complete, it became increasingly apparent that there was nothing she could do to help him.

She can barely stand looking at him- for her own self-preservation- when he comes into the BAU after a lengthy legal battle with the Mexican police, and calling in potentially every favor they're owed.

It was the most stressed Y/n has been in her entire life, and she knows she has to do something to alleviate it. Unfortunately, halving the problem means sharing the problem, and she finds herself walking up the steps to Emily's office as soon as she's in instead of being by Spencer's side.

"Y/n, hi." Emily ushers her in, walking away from her desk and sitting on the couch. The look on Y/n's face tells Emily she needs a friend, not a boss. "I've been meaning to ask how you are."

Y/n picks up on the careful phrasing. Emily's not teasing them for the relationship she suspects exists. She's worried about her friend and not wanting to push her too far.

Y/n doesn't know how to say it. Emily has been his friend for almost a decade, through a faked death, reunion, and years spent apart.

So she blurts it out. "We're in a relationship, and I'm pregnant."

Emily can't control the surprise in her facial expression, eyebrows raising and jaw-dropping. She had really only considered Y/n would tell her they were dating, that she was scared for Spencer's well-being because he was more than a friend, not that she was scared of his well-being because he's a soon-to-be father.

Emily reaches out to touch her hand, squeezing it softly to comfort her. "Does he know?" She asks, even though she thinks she knows the answer.

Spencer would have mentioned it. There was nothing more he wanted than to be a father. They had discussed it after Henry was born, when he turned 30, during JJ's wedding, when she saw the team after Morgan left, and when she came back after Hotch left.

"No." Y/n answers, lightly crying. She wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or the fact her baby daddy was in prison.

"It will be okay," Emily assures her, wrapping Y/n in a hug. "I promise, we will get him out of there."

They both know she can't make that promise.

They both don't comment on it.

"I, uh- h-he said he needed to go to Houston for his mom." Y/n starts telling the story between tears and resultant hiccups. "And he called me that night, but I didn't pick up." That was something she'd been feeling guilty about, knowing that if she answered, they would have gotten one last conversation together. "So he left me a voicemail saying he'd be home the next day. I was busy putting a surprise box together for him. It's got the cutest onesie that says 'hi, daddy.'" Emily smiles with her, and it's only then that she realizes she's also crying. "I actually went a little overboard, so you all have carefully selected onesies waiting for you." She's smiling a little, trying to readjust her focus onto something happier. It's quickly spoilt. "And then we were back here."

"I'm so sorry," Emily says, hugging her again. "And I'm really happy for you, Y/n. You're going to be the best mom ever."

That makes Y/n chuckle slightly. "Don't let JJ hear you say that."

She shrugs with her own grin. "She'll get over it." She jokes. "Seriously, whatever you need, I am here for you. Anytime."

"You couldn't break my baby daddy out of jail, could you?" Y/n jokes so she doesn't break down again. Spencer told her she had a problem with that, but she's slipped back into old habits because that's what helps.

"We'll get him out," Emily assures her again. "And sweet baby L/n or Reid or L/n-Reid or Reid-L/n will have a very present dad."

"I hope he or she will have a very present godmother, too," Y/n says, confusing Emily. "Hopefully one who doesn't fake her death again..."

Emily understands that, and her surprise is happy that time. "It would be an honor. Also, I did attend an Ivy and Spencer didn't."

That makes her laugh through her tears again. "That was on my pros list." She jokes.

"You have to stay with me, though." Emily insists. She can't stomach the thought of her friend being alone, sad and pregnant. "Or I can stay with you."

Seeing her apartment has been difficult for Y/n. Every single inch of it reminds her of Spencer. "Yours." She requests. "And thank you. I appreciate it."

"Of course." Emily nods before her face changes to a more concerned expression. "What do you think about telling him?"

That question had been on her mind for a while. "How is he, Em? Honestly."

She picks at her fingernail and it's the response Y/n was desperately not hoping for. "He's not good." It's not a lie, but it is a drastic understatement.

"He can't know." She decides, and Emily breathes a silent sigh of relief at not having to talk her out of the decision to tell him. "But what about them?" She questions, nodding to the door.

"That doesn't have to be right now," Emily assures her. "Whenever you're ready."

Y/n tries to slow her rapidly beating heart and shallow breathing. Talking about it had not helped at all. "Okay." She says calmly. "Let's get to working getting him out of there."

~

They get to work every day, trying to get Spencer out while working their usual caseload. Y/n doesn't notice much of a difference in being pregnant besides all the stressing and then the stressing about stressing and what that's doing to the baby on top of it. And the increased fatigue. She wishes she had Spencer there every moment, and imagining his reaction is the only thing that helps her keep going.

When she starts showing, she has to tell everyone else, so Emily calls them into the briefing room.

"Is this about Spencer?" JJ asks, the concern on her face mirroring everyone else's when Emily and Y/n walk in.

"Sort of," Emily says, only confusing them more.

Y/n speaks softly as she breaks the news. "I'm pregnant, it's Spencer's, and he cannot know."

Their faces all change to unreadable expressions aside from Penelope who's trying to control her excitement. It's difficult to know if the right thing to do is to hug and congratulate her like they would have done in normal circumstances since Spencer's in jail, and it's clearly not an ideal situation.

"Congratulations," JJ says first, noticing Y/n's increasingly alarmed expression. She's also always known Spencer wanted to be a dad, and she gets up to hug her friend tightly.

Everyone follows after that, having a moment of delight in amongst the chaos of Spencer's arrest. They don't even bother to let money change hands on their bets if they were a couple. Rossi won, though, and he doesn't need the money.

Things get messier the longer Spencer is in prison. They all know he's struggling, and they all try and avoid telling Y/n, but she knows every time Emily steps out of the room to take a phone call that something has happened. And it's never something good.

After three long months of torture, Spencer's out. His final challenge is saving his mom and then getting the girl, but after all that he's been through, it doesn't seem insurmountable.

He hugs JJ, Luke, and Penelope at the prison, holding them for extra long to readjust to the feeling. He's too grateful to be out to be wishing Y/n was there. Every single freedom, he's going to be appreciative of.

Then there's the drive back to the BAU, a drive he's taken many, many times before. Penelope's as happy as she can be, all things considered, and chatty, telling him about all that he's missed. He knew how much he underestimated being able to call her up and hear something witty made his day better, so seeing her in person is incredible.

One key person she's leaving out is Y/n.

He's had a lot of time to think in prison. It's basically all he does, and when he's not thinking about how to survive or trying to remember the events of the motel room, he's thinking about her.

They weren't labeled when he went to Mexico. Somehow he had a way of falling in love without labels, but this time it wasn't going to end with her dead on a warehouse floor.

He's hoping his luck will come in threes when he wishes for his mom's safe return and for Y/n to be interested in him. She was before, she'd told him a million times, but he knows his whole world has changed, so all he can do is pray that they still sync.

"How is she?" Spencer asks when Penelope finishes complaining about how annoying Luke has been. He and JJ share a look in response to Luke's fond expression.

"She's..." Penelope's never been good at keeping secrets, but she would never cross the line with this. Not when it's not trivial gossip about the third-floor white-collar crime team. "You need to talk with her." She settles on an answer, approved by JJ and Luke's nods.

The pit of dread hits his stomach. It doesn't ever sound good when someone wants to talk. It's even worse when that person is your former or possibly still girlfriend.

It's when he sees her in the board room that he knows what Penelope means.

Y/n's pregnant.

Obviously pregnant.

And his heart plummets as fast as his stomach does.

Spencer's mouth goes dry in the search for something to say to her. There's nothing he can articulate as much as he wants to scream that he's in love with her. He cannot afford the time to ask her about it, and he cannot afford the heartbreak of learning she's already moved on, having someone else's baby.

He has been wishing he could go back in time for a while, but nothing like seeing her bump makes him furious he hasn't built a time machine. She's everything he ever wanted, and he longs to be everything she wants.

Then Cat is having his baby, and that is something he never expected to say, but the obsessive psychopath is taunting him with comments about his baby. He wants her to shut up, so he can close his eyes, touch her, and pretend it's his baby with Y/n. His paternal desire has never waved until he realizes he can't love the baby inside her, even if it is his when Y/n's also bringing a baby into the world.

Maybe she'll let him be an uncle, best case scenario a godfather. Still, that means he'll permanently have to be part of the guy who gets to live his dream life. He'll watch them raise the sweetest baby, babysit so they can go out on date nights, and maybe watch them get married. Every one of those thoughts jeprodizes the happiness he thought he could get back.

And he can't blame her for it. Who wants to wait for a convict? Maybe, he decides, she thought he was guilty, and even though he got released, there's no coming back from that.

He's forced to push it down and ignore all those dark feelings until this nightmare is over, which feels improbable. When his mom is recovered safely, he can finally breathe a sigh of relief at some of his problems being solved.

He stays with her until she falls asleep, guilt-ridden and assuring her she's safe. When she is asleep, there's a nagging urge in his brain to leave and go see Y/n. He just wants to congratulate her as a friend. Or that's what he tells himself. And it's most of the reason, but he wants to scout her boyfriend to make sure he's good enough for her.

"Hi." She says, opening the door and stepping to the side. "I was going to call you tomorrow. Well, technically today."

She's had the burning urge to touch him since she saw him but she resists, not knowing where they stand.

Spencer's not used to having his watch on his wrist, so he checks it. "Oh, it's late, I'm sorry. I can go." He offers, and it's more so he can avoid the discussion rather than her comfort.

Y/n shakes her head, sitting down on the couch. He notices how similar everything looks, like she's still the only one that lives there.

He looks awkward just standing there, next to the massive elephant they're ignoring, so she directs him next to her. "Sit, Spence, please."

Spencer wants to pace, it's become his way to relieve stress without anything to distract him, but he does what she says, wanting to please her as much as possible.

"How are you?" She asks, although it's a stupid question. Not only because he's clearly not well, but because he's going to tell her he's fine.

"I'm not mad at you," Spencer tells her, no longer able to suppress his thoughts. He's been running over what to say, but when he starts talking, any perfected speech is torn to shreds. She gives him a skeptical look, like she's questioning why he could be upset, and he feels even more like an idiot for assuming he's still allowed to feel things for her. "I came to say congratulations. I want you to be happy, and I'm so thrilled that you're having a baby. I understand why you couldn't be with me. It would have been selfish for me to ask you to wait. I'm glad you moved on, and being in your life, as a friend is all I can ask for." He stops before he runs out of breath which also helps him not say something stupid.

Y/n's still looking at him like he's an idiot, and she is kind of wondering if he is one, but her face changes when she understands the connections in his thoughts.

Two things stick in her head; Spencer doesn't think the baby is his, and he believes she could love someone else. Both are wildly untrue.

"Can you wait here?" She asks, her heart rate quickening a little now that she has to tell him what she thought was obvious.

Spencer nods apprehensively, anticipating her next move as bringing out her boyfriend to meet him. To his surprise, she comes out with a lilac box, shallower than a shoe box but with a bigger cross-sectional area.

She hands it to him with shaky hands, but the most significant indicator of her nervousness is how she's biting her bottom lip. It worries Spencer. Everything stresses him anyway, but over the past few months, when people are nervous, it means something alarming has happened.

So he tears his eyes away from her to open it cautiously. He could not have been more surprised by the content; a tiny onesie, miniature Converse, a giraffe toy, a positive pregnancy test, and an ultrasound picture.

"This is for you." She tells him.

He looks up at her, and she's crying, and he's crying, and it's a mess, but it is perfect.

"I'm going to be a dad?" He confirms, sobbing.

"You're going to be the best dad." She corrects, trying to wipe up her tears as his fingers trace over the words on the onesie delicately. "Spencer, I could never love anyone the way I love you, and I cannot imagine having a baby with anyone else."

"I thought you were with someone else." He admits bashfully.

She shakes her head, reaching out for his hand. She's missed touching him, feeling his soft skin in hers. "I'm in love with you." She reminds him, knowing he's going to need to hear it more than once.

"I'm in love with you, too," Spencer says, cupping her cheeks and gently kissing her. The kiss is slow and full of the longing they've had for months. He pulls back with the widest smile he's had for months. "Anything you need, Y/n, I'll do it. Are you eating? Vitamins? Water? Ultrasounds?"

Y/n giggles at how quickly he's moved to dad mode. "There's only three things I want." She tells him, earning a nod from a dedicated Spencer. "Firstly, no more impromptu trips to Mexico." She says it like a joke because they both know he'd never do that again. "And I want to live with you. I really don't want our baby to grow up in two different houses and I want you to see him or her every day."

"Yes." He agrees before divulging into rambling, excited words trying to keep up with how he's feeling. "My mom is going back to Las Vegas, so we can m we can live in my apartment or yours. Actually, we should just get a house. A proper house near good schools with a yard. I'll find some, but I really don't care where we live, as long as we're together."

"Slow down." She says, squeezing his hand. "We'll figure it all out." She assures him.

He nods, letting the best type of chaos continue in his head. "There's one more thing." He realizes.

"There is." She agrees, moving his hand until it touches her bump. "Feel our baby."

Spencer's crying again as he gets off the couch and kneels in front of her, pushing up her top and gently holding the developing bump. "Hi, sweet baby." He says softly. "I love you so much, your mom is a superhero, and I cannot wait to meet you." Those are the three most important things he can think to say.

It's impossible for Y/n not to cry when Spencer is so Spencer, and all the hormones inside her don't help. He gets up before leaning down to cup her cheeks and lead her into a kiss.

"You've made me the happiest I've ever been in my life." He tells her sincerely.

"Well, I kind of intend on doing that for a little while longer, if that's okay." She offers.

Spencer acts like he's considering it before landing on his answer. "Yeah, okay."

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[tarotwithlove]

PICK A CARD ⭒ how are things aligning with your specific person ??

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · king of wands (reversed), two of swords (reversed), ten of pentacles, knight of swords, the world, onyx: willpower, strength, protection.

channelled songs · jungle by cix. i like that by houston. follow you by bring me the horizon. if i’m dancing by britney spears.

my dear group one ♡ you may currently be in no contact with your sp. and while they are going on with their life, you may be holding onto them: manifesting them, getting constant readings about them, and lurking on their social media. just… obsessively being in your sps energy. 

one day, somewhat soon, you may get a wakeup call while lurking or asking around about them, as you’ll hear that they are dating someone new. or that they are serious about someone. for some, you may even hear about an engagement or see their engagement announcement.

this could lead you to spiral because you have spent so long manifesting them. because you believe there is no other person for you but them. 

your sp, however, has no ill-feelings towards you and will likely even invite you to the wedding or engagement party. put your wallowing and self-pity aside, and go! trust me! you may meet a very important person at this event. 

GROUP TWO

cards · knight of pentacles (reversed), queen of pentacles, eight of wands, justice (reversed), six of cups, sunstone: fulfillment, motivation, contentment.

channelled songs · interlude: for us by us by solange. blkdeath: by bbymutha. comflex by stray kids. on air by 3ye. 

my dear group two ♡ you may have been the one to cut contact or put distance between you and your sp. you may have chosen to do this because of their immaturity, dishonesty, or because they refused to commit to you in the way that you wanted them to commit to you. 

you have put yourself on the pedestal. you have focused on yourself entirely, to the extent that you may have even stopped manifesting or affirming for your sp. you have placed your trust in the divine entirely that things will align as they should when they should. 

because of this, things are falling into place. perfectly. your sp has been keeping their eye on you, and wants to snatch you up before someone else comes along and gets you first. reconciliation is in the cards. but not just any reconciliation, no, reconciliation with your sp basically crawling back to you. 

GROUP THREE

cards · nine of pentacles, knight of pentacles, four of pentacles, king of pentacles, the world, opal: energy, creativity, motion. 

channelled songs · blueprint by stray kids. he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother by donny hathaway. behind the wall by tracy chapman. can’t stand losing you by the police. 

my dear group three ♡ this connection with your sp requires patience and waiting. a lot of patience, and a lot of waiting. you and your sp are moving towards each other, slowly by surely. but trust me when i say that it will be slow. 

it will be years before you and your sp reconcile, years before your paths even cross again. for many of you, you may only meet again in another ten years, at a reunion event of some sort. 

between then and now, you will have both lived your lifes. fallen in and out of love. married and built lives completely separate from each other. and while you will be physically separated, you will still be connected to each other spiritually. divinely. by your red string of fate. 

you will see each other and it’s like no time at all has passed. live your life, and trust the process. 

GROUP FOUR

cards · the moon, the devil, seven of wands, eight of swords, the high priestess, hematite: grounding, solidity, composure. 

channelled songs · salvatore by lana del rey. tuesday moon by neutral milk hotel. put it on da floor again by latto & cardi b. guangling fantasia by liu fang. 

my dear group four ♡ the relationship between you and your sp may be one built upon projection. your projection. you may be projecting onto your sp and this connection, thinking that there is more here -- more between you two -- than there actually is. 

but this is why this connection causes you so much pain. this is why it causes you so much confusion. because you have built this connection up into something it is not. because you have invested more in this connection than this other person has, and thus, invested more than you should. 

things are not aligning with your sp, my dear, in fact, and in the kindest way possible, you are beating a dead horse. 

you are stressing yourself out over a deadend connection and an sp who has little regard for you. 

it’s time to look within and ask yourself why you put yourself through this for this person. it’s time to put yourself back on the pedestal. 

[fuckaperioddrama]

Sunday Morning | Blaise Zabini

Warnings: N/A

All Fluff | G/N Reader

Author's Note: A very small blurb. I wrote this at 1am while listening to Whitney Houston. I feel like I should start a series for things I’m inspired to write after listening to music early in the morning. Half of my drafts are inspired by songs I found myself dancing to between 1:00 - 5:00 AM.

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me

Masterlist

Summary: Being in love and savoring every second of it.

_

Your laughter echoed through the room as Blaise spun you in his arms. His fingers lightly touched the hand above your head as his other hand grabbed onto your waist. Once you were facing him he smiled at you and lowered your hands slowly, now holding them to his chest.

As you moved around the room, candles illuminated the space, casting a warm yellow hue against the skin of your bodies. The storm outside competed with the sounds playing from the victrola on Blaise's desk. The pitter-patter of raindrops and cracks of thunder overpowered the music, but neither of you seemed to mind.

It was Sunday, your favorite day as it was the one where your boyfriend was completely and utterly yours. No studying, no friends, no quidditch, his only focus was you.

Blaise had planned a picnic, but the weather decided against that. Upon waking up to the thunder outside you and Blaise rearranged your plans for a lazy Sunday in.

Your ruined date was soon forgotten as you basked in the feeling of holding each other in bed. Your cheek rested against his chest with his hands slowly moving up and down your back. You spent hours wrapped up in the covers. There were no responsibilities, no engagements and no commitments other than to each other.

Now you were wrapped in his arms as you two swayed to the music, feeling yourself fall deeper and deeper in love with the man before you. Blaise was your happy place. He made you feel safe and loved and you could tell he felt the same. The once serious and emotionless guy before you now twirling around his room without a care in the world.

You watched him, the feeling of admiration overpowering your mind. Sometimes it was overwhelming, all of the love you had for him. It’s easy to imagine what love could be like, but to experience it is another feeling within itself. It’s indescribable what you have with Blaise. How someone could come into your life one day out of the blue and in a matter of months they become your lifeline. This person you spent years not knowing existed has somehow overtaken your entire sense of being.

Sunday before felt like just another day. Now it’s the one day you can’t live without. The day you get to spend with him.

The music slowed to a stop. Blaise moved his hand from yours and lightly slid it across your cheek. The warmth of his skin contrasted the cold air of the dungeons and you couldn’t help but lean into him, easily giving yourself over.

“What are you thinking about?” Blaise asked as he pulled you closer and rested his forehead against yours. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he gave himself over to you too; the feeling of you, the smell of you, all of you.

“I love you,” you smiled tilting your head up to press a kiss against his lips. The once small peck turned deeper and a moan of contentment escaped the both of you.

The beginning notes of the next track started to play and Blaise slowly moved one hand to the back of your head as the other kept its hold on your waist. You gasped as you felt your body dip towards the ground.

Blaise lifted you back up and spun you into him with your back now against his chest. Soft kisses traveled up your neck before landing against your ear. He took the lobe between his teeth, nibbling slightly as his hands slid lower and lower down your body. “I love you too.”

Blaise moved you both over to the bed, lying you down and crawling on top of you. He pressed a kiss to your collarbone, moving to your chest and stomach before stopping at the waistband of your shorts. “I love you so much.”

—-

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Reader

White Tape Kisses

Sitting patiently in the stands waiting for the game to start and hoping you will see your girlfriend score tonight, the lights dimmed as the light show was about to start. This was your first ever England game and if your friends from America saw you now you knew what they’d be saying. You could hear their chants ringing in your ears at seeing you wearing an England shirt but you swore the only one you’d ever wear would be one with Daly on your back. You and Rachel have been together for almost a decade; meeting at college then both being drafted to Houston Dash together. When she made the decision to move back to the UK, there was no question that you would join her.

Watching the light show as the flags were rolled out you thought you heard your name being called from a distance, shrugging it off as hearing things among all the noise. That’s when you noticed the calls getting louder and if you weren’t mistaken, it was Rachel.. but she’d be in the tunnel by now with the team? Looking around to where the voice was coming from you were surprised to see her running along the side line towards you. Appearing in front of you with tears welling in her eyes and her hands shaking. “They’ve done it wrong, it’s too tight, get it off me, get it off!” she spluttered while waving her wrist at you in visible panic. Clasping your hands onto her cheeks to quickly analyse her facial expression and behaviour to realise she was in the midst of a panic attack caused by the tape on her wrist being too tight. Looking down at her hands that were shaking, she was desperately clawing at it with her fingernails trying to get it off. Instinctively bringing her hand up to your mouth and ripping it off quickly with your teeth letting the tape fall to the floor. You threw your arms around your girlfriend with the barrier wedged between your bodies to hold her until you felt her breathing had returned to normal, a few tears were shed in relief as the lights flashed around you.

“Can you put it back on for me please, Millie’s not here” Rach croaked with sadness tinged in her words. You knew how she liked the band from Dash and Villa game days - not too tight, wrapped around twice, on her left arm, the letters in large capitals in black pen, written over multiple times to make the letters bold and noticeable.

You were part of the Daly family and was treated like a daughter by her mum and dad so knew how much Rachel adored her father. You’ve been there every difficult step of the way, it was you who suggested the tape bracelet when he first passed and now in this moment of panic you were putting it on her for the first time for an England game.

It was a whole process, but one you and Millie had down to a tee and with her bestie injured, she had to enlist another teammate to help her with it - someone that hadn’t been as knowledgable when it came to your girlfriend’s match day quirks. Rachel passed you the roll of tape that she had in her pocket as you unravelled enough and used your teeth again to tear it. “Be careful, don’t break them” her hand softly stroked along your jaw line. “Someone didn’t bring any scissors did they” you joked which raised a small smile from your beauty. Gently wrapping the tape around her wrist as she watched you seal it intently. You then asked a fan nearby if they had a sharpie and carefully wrote DAD on the inside of her wrist, bending down to kiss it then raising her arm up to her lips for her to kiss it too. Rachel’s eyes never left yours as you emotionally anchored each other, your connection so strong you could read each other like a book. “Is that better?” Rachel nodded gently “I love you so much”, “I love you more, now go score for him” holding her wrist towards your lips for one last kiss before running back to her team who were starting to lead out onto the pitch. Swiftly joining the line up with minimal distraction to the others as she proudly sang the national anthem.

[drewsbuzzcut]

Vogue Beauty Secrets With Lyla Blair & Mystery Man

(aka Jeremy Swayman)

Jeremy Swayman x Lyla Blair

A ‘The Masterminds’ Fic

Warnings: none that I can think of (let me know if I missed any)

Takes place late April 2024

“Hi, I’m Lyla Blair and this is my guide to glowy skin and the perfect date night look!” Lyla introduces herself to the camera.

Her eyes flit to everything laid out on Jeremy’s ensuite countertop, patting herself on the back for not forgetting her skincare and makeup when she was hurriedly packing a bag for the weekend. She accidentally forgot that she had to film a beauty secrets video for Vogue, so she took the opportunity to film it before her date with Jeremy.

“I have fairly good skin. I mean don’t get me wrong, I get the sparse breakout every now and then- usually during my period, but I’d say my skin is pretty clear. My first step in my skincare routine is this Vanicream cleanser,” she showcases the bottle and pumps some of the liquid in her hand.

“It’s very light and when you lather it, it gets slightly foamy. I love it because my skin can be sensitive. I think it’s important to remember to treat your face delicately, so don’t harshly rub your face when you wash it.” The girl says, demonstrating her words.

“Babe, which watch should I wear?” Jeremy’s voice can be heard in the background, making Lyla hesitantly turn toward where he walks in. Her face is covered in suds and water drips down her arms. She tries to remain stoic to the camera, but on the inside she’s freaking out a little bit. Her relationship with Jeremy isn’t public, but this could very well launch them in the public eye.

“The silver one. It pairs well with the blue,” she says, turning back around as if she never looked away.

“Next up is a light serum! I like to use something with vitamin C to brighten up my skin, and basically even out my tone.”

She pats a small amount of the serum around her eyes, a small giggle bubbles up her throat at Jeremy purposely singing obnoxiously to one of her songs.

“Next up is moisturizer and sunscreen. I love sunscreen, especially as someone who grew up in Houston, Texas. Everyone knows it’s very hot and sunny down there. For moisturizer I use the vanicream brand, because it’s not too light nor too heavy and it’s not greasy at all,” Lyla explains, continuing working the products into her skin.

“Here you go, Ly,” Jeremy places a glass of ice water next to her, a glimpse of his arm being caught on camera.

Lyla can’t contain her emotions, not when her eyes soften and cheeks grow a light shade of red. Jeremy knows that she loves to have a glass of water while getting ready. It can be getting ready for the day, an outing, or to go to sleep.

“Thank you, baby,” she says in awe, her eyes fixated on him and his dazzling smile.

“I love a good glass of cold water while getting ready. Also putting on lip balm before I start any makeup,” Lyla says to the camera, still feeling awfully giddy by her boyfriend’s sweet gesture.

It’s the little things!

“Do you guys have a small skincare routine or a long one? I’m always so curious because I’ve met many people who do simple routines since their skin is acne prone, but I’ve also met people who have a long routine with many products but it just works so well for them. I love the versatility,” she talks animatedly while going on a tangent about skincare.

“So, we’re done with our skin and now we move onto makeup. As I said in the beginning, this is my favorite look for date nights.”

“She doesn’t need any makeup whatsoever,” Jeremy inputs, coming closer to Lyla. Only the bottom half of his face (starting at his bottom lip) and down is captured by the lens.

Lyla looks up at him, cheeks continuously burning and eyelashes batting at him.

“I don’t?” She asks with a sly smile. She reaches out to his wrists and rolls up the sleeves of his button up. Butterflies flutter around her stomach at the way he looks at her.

“No, you’re perfect, baby,” he whispers, but it’s still caught by the mic of the camera.

She flashes him a toothy smile, biting on her bottom lip when he leans closer. His hand goes to her throat to tilt her head back and he slants his lips over hers. Lyla’s breath hitches and she can feel the want transferred from his saccharine kiss. When he pulls away, she has to shake off all her other thoughts and focus back on the video. A difficult task when she can still taste him on her tongue.

The camera lens only captures the sight of his hand on her throat and how his bearded jaw and lips encase hers. Little did they know that the familiar motion would spark up many comments later in the week.

“Sorry about that, guys. That was my boyfriend and we’re actually going on a date in like an hour. That means we have to do a speedy routine,” she says, trying to act unfazed even though she can still feel her lips tingling.

“The lineup for tonight's pretty small as I’m staying at my boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have all my makeup products,” Lyla explains as she gathers and organizes her makeup.

“Tonight we’re doing light concealer, a smokey, siren type of eye look, with some blush and a nude lip. It’s very simple!”

The singer shows each product she’ll be using before she starts with her eyeshadow.

“So… did y’all buy tickets for my tour? If you did, leave a comment stating what show you’re attending. I’m so excited! I think I saw that my Houston, Boston, and New York shows were sold out. Like you don’t understand how amazing that is. It makes me very happy! My music career has come a long way,” Lyla rambles, pausing her strokes on her eyelids in between each few words as the excitement takes over. There’s a noticeable shine glimmering in her eyes.

She catches a glimpse of Jeremy smiling proudly at her from the corner of her eye. It makes her blush even more than she already is.

“Okay! This is the eye look. The messier the better, especially bc J and I are going to a place with low lighting,” Lyla does a little pose, not realizing she said her little nickname for Jeremy.

As she puts on her eyeliner and mascara, she can feel Jeremy’s stare on her.

“I usually tend to start applying my mascara to the tips of my lashes just so that they stay curled,” she turns toward him, eyes playfully glaring at him before getting back to what she is doing.

The hair on her arms and the back of her neck still rise, the intensity of his stare is strong and lingering. She tries to not let her eyes slide back over to him, but she can’t help the way they move on their own accord. She also can’t help the infectious giggle that slips from her mouth when he smiles at her.

“Is it weird that I apply my winged eyeliner after mascara? I just find it easi-“ she also can’t help the way her words die on her tongue while she’s under his gaze.

“Sorry, easier,” she finishes her interrupted sentence, another giggle going past her lips.

“Baby, can I put on your blush?” Jeremy asks and Lyla immediately nods her head.

“I’m just going to let you do it and not instruct you,” she giggles and turns to face him.

Her eyes are level with his chest, so she uses his shoulders to help her stand on her tiptoes. A hand holds her blush brush while the other settles on her waist, making her feel light and on fire all at once.

“Ohhh the pressure is on. Okay! I got this. On the apples of the cheeks right?” He asks, poking one of her cheeks.

“I don’t know,” she teases, poking at his ribs.

Lyla giggles as he drags the brush along her cheeks. Her hands reach out to clutch onto his button up.

“So J decided to do my blush. Let’s see if he does a good job! I’m not a makeup artist at all, but I have learned a lot from previous concerts and shoots. I think I’m pretty decent at doing my own makeup now,” Lyla turns her head to the camera and talks, trying to distract herself from Jeremy’s attention and the way his slight touch on her skin makes her shiver.

“Okay, how does it look?” His voice is low and honeyed, it makes Lyla’s knees weak.

She walks closer to the large mirror, inspecting her boyfriend’s work. She hums and haws in a way to tease him while he waits patiently for an answer. Eyes crinkling up in a smile when Jeremy lets out a playfully, tortured laugh.

“What do you guys think? Did my boyfriend do a good job? I think he did pretty good,” she speaks to the camera, a twinkle in her eye because she’s actually impressed with how well her man did.

“Thank you, baby,” again, his hand comes up to her neck to keep her still while his lips encase hers. It’s a sucking kiss, almost too much to be filmed for many people to see, but they don’t care.

“Time for the lips,” Lyla giggles, eyes half lidded and lips red.

“Baby, what lip product should I use? Lipstick, so I don’t get glitter in your beard?” She asks, holding up different options for him to choose from.

“Ly, I don’t care if you get glitter in my beard. Really, baby,” Jeremy says, reassuring her when he catches her questioning gaze.

Lyla looks at the camera, a smile plastered all over her face and her eyes looking lovesick. Her shoulders rise and fall with the contented sigh she lets out.

“Okay! Lip gloss it is then,” she jumps in excitement and applies her lip gloss while dancing around.

“This is my date night makeup look. Now all I have to do is toss my hair around and put on an outfit and I’m set. This has been really fun, and I hope you all enjoy my beauty secrets. And I really hope to see all of you lovely people on tour. Love ya, bye!” Lyla blows kisses to the camera, smiling in genuine happiness.

“My girl is so beautiful,” Jeremy comes up behind her and encircles his arms around her neck, his chin resting on the top of her head.

“You’re so handsome. Let me get dressed and we can head out,” she presses a chaste kiss to his lips and walks over to her bag.

He slaps her ass, smirking at her when she turns around with a loud squeal. She sends him a half glare, half smile, but winks at him before she’s out of sight.

Later that week, both of their phones are blowing up with various notifications from different social media platforms. Every tweet and post is about the rumored man in Lyla’s Vogue video. Everyone is shocked to see that the newest pop sensation has a man, and one that they have no idea who it could be. But that’s the thing, many of Lyla’s fans also happen to be hockey fans who know that beard and voice anywhere.

a/n: Okay! I really enjoyed writing this one, so I hope you all love it!!

[outsideratheart]

Secrets & Lies (Christen Press x reader)

Based of this request.

A/N: This is the longest fic I have ever written with 11,599 words. I hope it isn’t too long and that you all like it. One more thing, ANGST!!!

You had been keeping a secret since the day you were born. Only a few people knew about it and that's because someone else told them but at what point does a secret turn into a lie?

You spent your childhood having bi yearly surgeries but they were only temporary fixes until the doctors felt your heart was strong enough to take the stress of a more complicated surgery. This came when you were 15, it meant you could play the sport you love, and to the naked eye your condition was non existent as long as you took your medication. It wouldn't be the last surgery you had, in fact the doctors told both you and your mom that they would have to do the same surgery again in around 10 years.

It resulted in you learning to live one day at a time and you never looked too far into the future but you couldn't ignore the fact that every year is one step closing to needing a second surgery. So when you turned 25 you couldn't help but feel like you were on borrowed time. Two years after that, the hospital visits became a monthly occurrence in order to keep an eye on your condition and your doctor was surprised that your heart was holding up well and it was but that feeling of being healthy soon came to a halt.

First came the shortness in breath followed by the chest pains, they are symptoms that you are all too familiar with. At first it was manageable but then it got hard to hide the toll it was taking on your body.

"Are you ok kid?" you feel a hand rest on the small of your back as you bend over in attempt to catch your breath after a sprinting drill.

"It's getting worse" you look up at your captain Christine Sinclair "I'll be ok, I have to be. The olympics are around the corner and I can't miss them" the panic in your voice sparks concern within the Canadian.

"Ok, ok, calm down. We will handle this like have in the past, just me, you and the doctors. Have you told Tobin or any of the others how bad it's getting?" you shake your head "Maybe it's time you tell Christen. The two of you have been tog—“

“No! Christen doesn't need to know"

"And when will she? When she is calling an ambulance?"

Christine Sinclair had many abilities and the one you hated the most was how well she showed tough love.

"No Christen and no Tobin. This is my fight and I know how to handle it" you know that the conversation is no where near over but you don't have the energy to talk about it and you don't want to risk the rest of the team hearing you.

At first only you and the Portland Thorns team doctor knew about your heart condition but then your mom told Christine when the thorns were playing Gotham. She wanted someone to know about it in case you were to have an episode. They didn't happen all that often, especially as you got older, but when they did come they were bad.

Portland were in Houston playing the dash before the players would go to their respective national teams. It meant that you had to pack for 3 weeks away. You made your checklist, packed your bag and then went through the list twice, you had everything.

The Thorns ended up beating the dash 3-1 with goals coming from you, Tobin and Lynsey so when you arrived at camp you were all in fantastic moods although yours could have something to do with the fact that you would be seeing Christen for the first time in a month.

As you enter the reception you are told that you are the last to arrive and the team are in the conference room handing out room assignments. As you enter the room you eyes eagerly search for your girlfriend but she isn’t there, worry starts to set in and you nudge tobin who in suit shrugs her shoulders. So her girlfriend and best friend didn’t know where she was. You are just about to raise your hand to ask the question when you feel two arms snake around your waist.

“Looking me for” Christen says quietly as not to interrupt Jill.

You remove one of her hands and place a kiss on the back of it.

“I better not be sharing with Kelley again” You tip your head back to rest on her shoulder.

“You’ll be happy to know I persuaded Jill to let us room together but you have to be on your best behaviour”

“Me!” You turn to face Christen. Your increased volume becoming apparent when Jill calls you out.

“Is there something you would like to share with the team” Jill encourages you to speak up.

"Nothing she can repeat in front of the youngens, right Y/N?" Kelley teases.

The defender knows that you will bite straight away if the teasing had to do with your relationship, more so what goes on behind close doors. You are on the verge of retaliating when Christen places her hand over your mouth.

"Sorry coach, continue" Christen tells Jill.

The team meeting runs a little big longer than you had hoped. Jill taking this time to discuss the basic plan for the camp as well as assigning rooms and then reassigning them when she gets complaints.

You and Christen waste no time in making up for being away from each other. It might have been a few years since the two of you started dating but the way she makes you feel never failed to catch you off guard. The connection you shared reminded you of fireworks and no matter how many times they went off you always jumped.

The two of you cuddled in bed, covered in nothing but the white hotel bed sheets. Christen's head rested on your chest whilst her hand traced shapes on your stomach.

"Your heart feels like it is about to beat out of your chest" whilst Christen jokes it is a reason for concern to you.

You think about it for a second. The Thorns schedule has been gruelling recently and you knew that you were putting stress on your heart but it was fine, you were taking your medication then it hit you, you hadn't taken it this morning.

"My heart will always skip a beat for you" you stare up at the ceiling in fear that Christen will see your pain if she looks you in the eyes.

The pair of you get ready for training all whilst worry starts to sink deeper into your thoughts. Christen knew you took several supplements in a morning but she didn't know what they were and you wanted to keep it this way. When you are on your way down to the lobby you see your chance.

"I'll meet you down there. I forget to take my vitamins" You daren't use the word medication because you know it will cause her to worry. It's the reason why she has no idea about your condition. You saw what the worry did to your mom growing up and you wouldn't put that on your girlfriend.

Luckily Christen doesn't ask any questions and she doesn't follow you back to the room. By the time she gets to the lobby the whole team is there ready and waiting.

"What, no Y/N?" Pinoe asks her fellow forward.

"She forgot her vitamins" Christen says fully unaware of the looks that are shared between Emily and Tobin.

Emily tips her head towards the elevator and Tobin picks up on what she is suggesting.

You are rummaging through your bag hoping that you will find your medication but it is no where to be found. You thought you packed enough for the Thorns trip and the national camp but you hadn't. You didn't know what to do, you knew that if you told Dawn about it she would have you benched and that couldn't happen because you were playing Canada and the team needed you. The sound of someone knocking at the door pulls you out of your head. At first you ignore them, you had more important things going on right now and the person on the other side of the threshold could wait but the knocking continued only louder and more persistently.

"Y/N let me in"

Tobin, just the person you both wanted to see and did not want to see. When she enters she recognises the panic on your face immediately.

"You forgot?" Her tone reminds you of your mom and you didn't care for it.

"I'm fine now" It was a lie but you didn't have a choice  "I'm just tidying up. You know how much of a neat freak Chris is"

You had been taking this medication for 12 years surely you built up enough strength to live without it for a week.

Training was tough to say the least but you chalked it down to the Arizona heat. Tobin kept a close eye on you and even went out of her way to partner up with you during drills which pissed you off more because you wanted to work with Christen. Dawn watched you from the sidelines and at first you didn't think anything of it until you saw her whispering in Jill's ear.

When the coach calls you over in the middle of scrimmage, it gains the attention of the entire team. Players only ever got called out of a game when they were in trouble but Jill eyes wasn't filled with anger, they were filled with pity and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw Dawn mouth 'i'm sorry'.

"Do I need to be worried?" Jill asked.

Here's the thing with Jill. You know she knows and she knows you know she knows but the two of you have never spoken about it. She keeps an eye on you during training and Dawn let's her know if there is a reason for concern.

"No. I forgot to take my medication this morning so it's taking a little bit longer for it to work"

Another lie.

"You were struggling out there and don't say it's because of the heat. I have seen you when we play in Australia and you aren't phased at all"

"I'm already feeling better. Watch and you will see that I am fine" you shut down the conversation before it can go any further.

When you're back on the pitch you score within seconds and dedicate your goal to your coach with an arrogant salute. Instead of it making her believe you're healthy, your celebration makes Jill think the opposite. You are trying too hard to show her you are ok.

The next couple of days are more difficult than you would like to admit. You were tempted to ask for a personal day and fly back to Portland but it would lead to more questions and you were trying to keep your amount of lies to a minimum.

With game day getting closer and closer, you begin easing off the physical side of preparation. You took a back seat in training and when asked about it you stated that as your role as captain you want to use this time to pass on your knowledge to the younger players.

When it comes to the afternoon lift session, Dawn pulls you aside and tells you that you will be working alone. She puts you on the treadmill whilst the rest of the team focus on the weights. Her attempt at testing your fitness isn't as subtle as she hopes.

"Wait, why is Y/N the only one doing a fitness test?" Tobin asks. Christen wants to know the same thing. She had seen the change in your behaviour over the past couple of days. It happened in the blink of an eye, one minute your the confident player the world loved the next you are on the sidelines trying to catch your breath like a rookie.

"Because I am the fastest on the team and Dawn wants to see if I can improve my stats from last camp"

Your girlfriend buys it, Tobin on the other hand isn't so easy to persuade. In the end she walks away but not before talking to Sonnet who looks at you and shakes her head.

Great! You aren't well and now you have pissed off the two people that could out you to the entire team.

"I've seen you watching me and I'm fine but if I am sick then I will get worse by doing this" you whisper in Dawn's ear before setting the treadmill to 15 where you begin sprinting as if you have a perfectly good heart.

By the end of the treadmill test you can barely breathe. Dawn helps you to chair before getting you a bottle of water. You hear her shout of Christen and within seconds your girlfriend is by your side.

"Y/N breathe for me" Christen begs. She had never seen you this out of breath.

"It hurts" you clasp both of your hands over your chest. This couldn't be happening, not here, not now.

"What's going on with her?" Christen asks dawn.

"She is--" Dawn tries to answer but Tobin and Sonnet come running over.

"She took an elbow to the chest in our last game and it's causing her some problems" Tobin tells her.

"She'll be fine. Here, use this" Sonnet gives you an ice pack knowing that it helps with your chest pains.

Your hands shake whilst you hold the cold block to your chest, so much so that Christen ends up taking it from you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Christen asks.

When you look to Christen you see the hurt you are causing her and this is because she didn't know about a tackle that didn't happen. In a matter of seconds you go from feeling pain to feeling guilty.

“I—" part of you tries to tell her the truth, even it it's only a half truth.

"It's best if she doesn't talk" Tobin cuts in.

Dawn tells you that you're done for the day and that Christen should take you back to your room. Your girlfriend talks to the performance coach in hopes that she can tell her what to do to make you feel better.

"I don't know what's going on with you but you cannot tell her when you're like this. She will think you’re ill" Tobin whispers in your ear.

"That's because I am ill and I always will be. She deserves to be with someone who isn't a burden" your breathing begins to even out.

"Y/N don't do anything stupid. You trust us with your secret, you can trust her too"

"No, my mom trusted you. I didn't want people to know because they look at me like—“

"Like what"

"Like that" you point at both of the friends "Like I'm broken"

Walking away you feel their eyes burning into the back of your head but you don't look back. Christen stands near the door with her hand extended waiting for you to take it.

Once back in your room Christen goes straight into the bathroom and begins running the bath. It is something that calmed the two of you but funnily enough you haven't done it whilst being at camp. Your girlfriend comes back out to find you laid back on the bed, your eyes closed with one hand on your chest. She can just about hear you counting your breaths.

"Join me" Christen says from the door way but she doesn't get an answer, you don't even move.

"Baby, come join me" the softness in her tone when she calls you the name that made you feel like you're the only girl in the world gets your attention.

"I think i'm just going to lay here for a while"

"Look at me" your girlfriend demands and upon doing so see her standing there in nothing but her underwear "I wasn't asking"

The smirk that pulls at your lips in uncontrollable. The sight you saw had the power to bring to your knees and the past had proven that.

"Then I won't say no" you stand and remove your shorts and as you walk towards her you remove your top.

Christen is the first to get into the bath and she slides forward so that you can slip in behind her. She grabs your arms, wraps them around her and then covers your arms with her own.

"I love you Christen Press" you place a kiss to her jawline "but if something were to happen to me then I want you to move on" you feel a tear roll down your cheek but you cannot wipe it away "Please don't waste your years mourning me and don't be afraid to open your heart to another. You wouldn't be betraying me and although i'll be gone, i'll always be with you, in here" you place your hand over her heart.

"Y/N--" Christens shifts her weight.

"Don't look at me"

This was strange. You and Christen are very open about your feelings and aren't scared to be vulnerable around each other but whenever you shared these moments you wanted to feel as close to her as possible which lead to the two of you having eye contact.

"You are my one true love Y/N Y/L/N and should the worse happen, that will never change. I cannot make a promise to move on because I am not in control of my heart but I will promise to let love in should it come to me"

"I will love you Christen until my last day on earth and then long into the afterlife"

This time you don't stop her as she turns in the water so her legs are either side of you. You craved her touch and reassurance that everything would be ok only she couldn't tell you that. That night Christen makes you forget about how this pain in your chest has ended in the past and you don't think twice about whether you future is going to last a year or ten years.

Game day came on day 5 without your medication and you were starting to regret not going home to get them. Sleep had become nothing more than a long nap and every time you ran it felt like a marathon. Still you had been able to downplay your struggles and Jill put you in the starting 11 despite being concerned about you.

You knew there was one person you couldn't fool and you did your best to avoid her until the whistle. At the pitch inspection you stayed away from the Canadians but you saw Christine staring at you from a distance, by the look on her face you knew she knew. When she tipped her head towards the tunnel so she could speak with you, you shook your head.

"You should go see her" Christen nudges towards where your club captain is standing.

"And fraternise with the enemy. I would much rather fraternise with you" you whisper in her ear.

It seems that Christen buys your distraction as she doesn't bring it up again even when Christine waits by the locker room after the warm ups.

You think you have managed to evade your friend's questioning but when you stand in the line waiting to go out you have a bad feeling in your gut so when Christine walks by you grab her arm and pull her back towards you.

"I didn't bring enough medication with me" you confess.

Up until now you haven't been scared but the look Christine gives makes you feel just that.

"How long?" she keeps her reply short given the crowd of players that surround you.

"5 days" You see Christine eye up Jill as she walks past "No, don't. I can handle this game but you need to know if case something happens"

"What makes you think that?"

You bring you hand to your chest "gut feeling" you reply.

Once gain Christine's expression changes and the worry is not something she can hide. She pulls you into her arms and whispers in you ear.

"I know you can handle it especially when playing so be smart out there kid"

And that is exactly what you do or at least for the first 50 minutes it is. All of sudden you feel your chest tighten and you feet give way underneath you as your body goes into fight or flight response. You do everything in your power to fight but it is too hard. Within seconds you are laid out of the floor, instead of your heart beating rapidly it is slow, too slow.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Christen kneels beside you.

Your eyes lock onto her, she is the reason why you want to fight but your lack of response does more harm than good. The team don't know what is happening so they don't call the medics over.

"Is it your heart?" Tobin asks having no care in the world about who hears her.

"What's wrong with her heart? Is this about the knock you took?"

You had been dreading this moment but somehow it has turned out worse than you imagined.

"I'm" you take a deep breathe "sorry"

"Why are you sorry? Tobin what is she sorry for? What is going on?"

Tobin looks at you and you use whatever energy you have left to shake your head.

"Sincy" you look at Tobin and she understands what you want but she doesn't want to leave your side.

Emily picks up on this "It's ok, i'll get her"

The defender turns to get your team mate only to see the opposing captain already running over.

"Move out of my way" Christine pushes her way through the white shirts.

"Sincy, it hurts" tears start to fall as fear begins to set in.

"Tobin get your medics now"

Christine looks at your team mates but her gaze ultimately falls on your girlfriend who looks petrified. Christen has one of your hands in hers, squeezing it so tightly that part of your fingers have turned white.

"I don't want to die" your words earn gasps from your team mates. Some of the Portland players are trying to hold back from crying as they know what this could mean.

"You're not going to die" Christen places a kiss to the back of your hand "Why would you die? You can't die. Christine" Christen looks up to the older player only to see her holding Tobin in her arms as she tries to console her "Tobin" at the sight on her best friend in tears she knows that something much bigger is going on.

The medics come running onto the pitch and in that very moment you realise that the secret you have kept for the last 27 years is about to come to light. When one of them starts asking question you know that you don't have it in you to answer them,  a mixture of not wanting to and not having the ability to.

"She has a heart defect and hasn't been taking her medication" Christine says when she realises you wouldn't say it. Your club captain proceeds to explain your condition in detail as well as your medical history.

"No" Christen shouts "She is fine, tell them you're fine Y/N. You're not sick, you just took a knock in your last game. I know you're not sick because you would have told me, we don't have secrets" tears are flowing freely down your girlfriends face.

"Y/N" Christen whispers when she feels your hand slowly loosen it's grip from her own.

"I don't want to die. I wan’t—" your breathing hitches once again as your bodies tries to inhale a much oxygen as possible.

"Baby, no" Christen leans forward and rests her forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry. I love you" those are are the last words you say and Christen is the last thing you see before it goes black.

"She's going into cardiac arrest. I need everyone to back up so we can try and save her life" One of the doctors say as the other one sprints away in search of the defibrillator.

"No, i'm not leaving her" Christen holds onto your unconscious form. It is only when Ashlyn pulls her away does she let go and begins sobbing into her friends arms.

The team stand there, helpless, as they watch the medics try to resuscitate you. All of them feeling a mixture of emotions. Some are angry at you, why didn't you tell them things had got this bad. Others feel guilty having known nothing about your condition, they begin wondering if the signs where there and they had just been too ignorant to see them.

Christen feels every emotion under the sun but the strongest one of them all is rage. You were her girlfriend and not only did you keep this from her, her best friend did too. You were the two people she trusted the most in the world yet today made it clear that trust wasn't reciprocated.

You are loaded into an Ambulance and taken the the nearest hospital. Christen is asked if she wants to go with you but she says no. The game gets suspended and the teams head back into their locker rooms. The US players planned on getting changed and heading straight to you.

The atmosphere in the locker room is something that neither of them have experienced before.

"You knew!" Christen shouts at Tobin.

"Chris" Pinoe tries to pull your girlfriend towards her locker but fails.

"No, I deserve an answer. My girlfriend was sick and you didn't tell me"

"It wasn't my secret to tell Christen. She made us promise not to tell you"

Tobin's words didn't exactly instil faith and calmness in her friend.

"Us?" Christen takes a step back and she scans the locker room. Now that's she is looking, it is very obvious who knew and who didn't "Emily, Lindsey. You knew too" Christen couldn't believe it.

"I didn't know things has gotten this bad. Y/N has episodes but she handles them on her own" Emily tells her.

"She doesn't like to talk about it" Lindsey adds.

"And Christine Sinclair knew" It isn't a question. The woman's action on the pitch made it obvious that she is very aware of your condition.

"I did"

Turning around Christen comes face to face with the women she was talking about.

"I have known since the beginning" the invisible spotlight that was placed on Christine made her nervous "I'm going to the hospital. Come with me and I will tell you everything"

Christen quickly replaces her boots with a pair of trainers, grabs a jacket and follows your captain.

Christen sat in the hospital waiting room alone. The seats either side of her remained empty because although her teammates wanted to support their friend, they knew it was just as important to give her space. It didn't make sense at first, you being ill, but then she begins replaying some of your recent conversations. Obviously the one you shared in the bath a few nights prior wasn't as hypothetical as Christen thought. Did you really think that Christen could move on from you?

"Family of Y/N Y/L/N"

Upon hearing your name the entire USWNT flock towards to the man clad in scrubs.

"I'm her girlfriend" Christen says as she stands directly in front of him.

"I'm sorry her file says to only discuss medical matters with direct family or Christine Sinclair, is that you?"

Christen couldn't believe what she is hearing. Even when you are in god knows what condition you are still determined to keep this from her.

"That's me. This is Christen Press and you can discuss Y/N's condition with her" Your friend has had enough of your secrets, Christen deserves the know the truth and at this point she knew that you could no longer hide it but that you would still try.

"Unfortunately Y/N coded again on the way here. Her heart had to work overdrive just to beat regularly and in the end it couldn't take it"

"No, She" your girlfriend couldn't believe what she was hearing "She can't die"

"She's alive Miss Press" The doctor confirmed "What I meant is that her heart couldn't take it which lead to the incident during your game. I spoke with her doctor in Portland and we agreed that minor surgery was needed until she can have a full exam when she returns home. Y/N is in recovery right now for observation then we will move her to a private room. I will have someone come get you when she is allowed visitors"

Christen stands frozen in her spot. Her mind, body and soul had grieved your death twice now even if it wasn't permanent.

"This is a good thing Chris" Tobin ignores the looks she gets as she talks to her best friend.

"How is this good Tobin? She almost died, no she did die. I lost her"

Tobin tries to pull Christen into a hug but she fights it. She takes her anger, which is rightly or wrongly is aimed at you, out on Tobin before surrendering.

"How could she not tell me Tobin? I'm suppose to be her person, she tells me she loves me yet—“

Christen is cut off before she can finish her sentence.

"You really don't get it do you" Christine says. After speaking to the doctor she found a seat near your Portland team mates "Y/N does love you more than you realise. It is the reason why she hasn't told you. I know that doesn't make sense but it does in her mind. Y/N has never told anyone about her heart condition"

"That's not true. You know, Tobin, Lynsey, Emily and I guess Becky knows, oh and dawn too, maybe even jill"

"You're right but that's not because Y/N told us. Her mom is reason why we know. She told us for this exact reason, in case something happens to her daughter and she isn't there to help her. In Y/N’s eyes she was protecting you by not telling you"

"That does sound like Y/N" Ashlyn sees sense in what the Canadian is saying.

"It doesn't make it ok"

"No it doesn't and for what it's worth Tobin has been begging Y/N to tell you since you started dating" Christine comes to her team mates defence.

Christen knows deep down that none of this was Tobin's fault and that her reaction was uncalled for. The way Tobin looks at her is something she has never seen before but then it hits her. You might have been her girlfriend but you are Tobin's best friend.

"I'm sorry Tobin. It just the thought of losing her is—“

"I know. It's scares me too"

When the pair hug, the team awe in response. For a brief moment the energy changes but it doesn't last long.

"Y/N is awake"

Having not needed to be told twice, Christen heads straight towards the nurse.

"You're going to have to wait sweetie. Y/N only wants to see Miss Sinclair"

It hurt. Once again you were choosing Christine over her and quite frankly Christen has had enough. A huge part of her wanted to say 'screw you' and leave. If you didn't want to see her then she wasn't going to stick around.

"Let's go get a coffee" Pinoe suggests which Christen agrees, Tobin follows in suit.

The three of them return just as Christine is storming through the hallway. Clearly nothing good happened in your room but it wasn't clear if the bad thing was related to the incident or something else.

"Christine, wait" Christen grabs her hand as she strides past them "What's wrong"

"She's unbelievable and all yours. I'm done"

Christen heads straight for you room, alone. The rest of the team know that there is conversation that needs to be had between the two of you and they had no right to be a part of it.

The sight itself is worrying. You are laid in the hospital bed, hooked up to several hospital wires and have a nasal cannula which is helping you breathe. All in all you didn't look well and it made the next words that came out of your mouth that much more frustrating.

"Don't look at me like that, i'm fine" your attempt at reassuring your girlfriend seems to have the opposite affect.

"No more lies Y/N. You're not fine. I watched you die, do you know what that was like?" Christen starts the speech that she had been planning in her head for the last couple of hours.

When you see her eyes begin to well up you want nothing more than to get out of the bed and comfort your girlfriend but you simply didn't have the strength. Instead you used what strength you did have to move over slightly so there was room for her near you.

"Come here"

Christen does so happily. Even though she is mad she has been craving the feeling of being in your arms and the solace it brings her.

"You knew this would happen. It's why you talked about you dying when we laid in the bath. You held me in your arms and we had a conversation which you knew could happen whilst I thought you were being hypothetical"

"I meant what I said. When I die I want you to move on with your life, not live in the past, in our past" once again you cannot bring yourself to make eye contact with your girlfriend.

Christen hovers her hand over your chest before placing it on your heart. The room goes quiet, enough so that you can hear her counting the beats under her breath. She is worried about you and you knew what the next couple of months would look like. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. You never wanted things to come to this and you certainly didn’t want to be the reason for Christen’s pain. It’s why you know the thing you are going to next is the right thing to do.

“Why did Christine leave?”

Well it looks like Christen is going to be the one to initiate the conversation only she has no idea what is about to come.

“I told her i’m not going to have the surgery when I get home. If I do then I'll miss the olympics and that isn’t something I am willing to do. I am going to have another minor surgery and work with the doctors so that I make it until the summer”

Christen lifts her head so she can see your face and what she is met with worries her. You are blank, almost emotionless but it was the facade you chose to put up in order get through this talk.

“No! You—“

“Christen the last few years we have shared have been incredible and I wouldn’t change a thing. I know you are mad at me for keeping this from you but I don’t regret it. If I had it my way you would have never found out. I wanted to protect you from the pain that comes with my condition because I saw what it did to my mom and I won’t have you going through the same worry”

“Y/N” Christen doesn’t like what she is hearing.

“I love you Christen Annemarie Press more than anything in this world and it’s why I can’t be with you”

Her eyes well up within seconds. Her breathing becomes erratic and it matches the increasing beeps on your monitor. You may be calm on the outside but the wires hooked up to your chest tell a different story.

“No. You don’t get to tell me your dying then break up with me, that’s not how this ends, I won’t let it” Christen refuses to acknowledge that you have decided to end your relationship.

“Chris” You reach out for her hand but she pulls away just as your fingertips touch.

“Why are you doing this? We’ve talked about our future, marriage and kids. I may not have known you were sick but you did and you still had those conversations. Were they lies too?”

You get up out of bed against your better judgement. You ignore the pain in your chest and the rapid beeping coming from behind you.

“I never lied to you, I withheld the truth, there is a difference. Those conversations we had were a fantasy, one that made me look forward to a future I knew I might not have. I am doing this because I love you way to much to break your heart just because mine is already broken”

Your emotions are starting to get the better of you whilst Christen has tears rolling down her cheeks. It was naive to believe you could break up with the love or your life and not have her fight for you.

“You are so selfish Y/N” Christen’s sadness has turned into rage “I am willing to stand by your side though all of this and you are pushing me away. You are making a decision for our future without letting me have a say”

“I might not have a future Christen!”

The volume of your tone is the last straw. Doctors who had been monitoring your vitals come rushing into the room to make sure that you are ok, your team mates follow in suit.

“Miss Y/L/N I need you to get back into bed before you rip open your stitches” One of the nurses try to usher you back toward the bed but you don’t move.

“Christen, Listen to me. I am doing this because I love you, one day you will see that. I have to let you go”

Christen waits in your room to hear you out but she doesn’t respond before leaving.

When you are back in bed you cannot bring yourself to look at any of your team mates. There are those that knew and some that didn’t. You chose to stare out the window and your friends leave one by one, soon enough it is just Tobin and Emily in the room.

“You’re not getting the surgery?” Emily asks you. She had been the one to follow Christine to find out what happened.

“I can’t. I want to go to Tokyo and I can’t if I get it. My doctor said the risks are very high given the stress that my heart is currently under and he’s not sure if it can take it. I meant what I said on the pitch, I don’t want to die” The blonde understood your reasoning and didn’t question it any further.

Tobin on the other hand. She has had enough with your stubbornness and you knew that a lecture was coming.

“Please don’t” you beg her

“You two were made for each other and you just threw that away, why?” Tobin asks you.

“Because it easier to mourn someone you hate than someone you love”

The next month was tough. You were back in Portland, a place you called home, but you had never felt more alone. Your friends were mad at you for not getting surgery, even Christine only spoke to you when her captain duties called for it. Christen spent the first week after the incident texting and messaging you. She was fighting for your relationship but you couldn't step into the ring for her.

You had to take a temporary step back from the team to recover and get back to a place where you can play high level soccer. You released a statement saying that you were stepping away in order to focus on your health. You didn't give the fans anymore details and they respected your wishes, the press on the other hand, well they wanted to know what the damage was.

Truth is you missed your friends and the loneliness that your stubbornness caused became overwhelming which only made things worse. Your doctor was pleased with the improvements you were making but after the first few weeks things took a turn for the worse. The temporary surgery you had in Arizona had reached its limits a lot sooner than your doctor had hoped.

It was three months later when it came to a head.

"When do I have to make the decision?" you ask.

You had just completed another round of tests and as you sit in your doctor's office you can tell by the energy in the room and the lack of eye contact of his behalf that things weren't good.

"I would like to do this as soon as possible and before you ask, it is my recommendation that we do the full repair"

"But what about the risks? I want to go to Tokyo and you said the best way for me to do that is to have the smaller surgery and reevaluate when I get back"

"Y/N if we don't do this surgery I cannot guarantee that you make it to the summer"

"So what you're saying is I have the surgery or become part of the 27 club?" You let out a small chuckle but nothing about this was funny.

"I'm sorry things have come to this and I know it isn't what you wanted"

"It's ok, these things happen" It was as if you had already admitted defeat.

When you get up from your chair it's as if time had slowed down. You walked over the window which ironically looks over Providence park. You had made so many memories there and you truly thought you would have years to make more, now though you're not too sure.

"Can I give you a piece of advice?" your doctor stands beside you "Talk to someone. It doesn't have to be about this but you can't close yourself off from everybody. You shouldn't keep your friends at arms length Y/N, they are there because they want to support you"

"I don't want to become their problem"  you confess.

"I made a promise to someone but they're not my patient you are" He goes back to his desk "Christen Press calls my office once a week to get updates on you"

You were both happy and angry after hearing this. On one hand it was nice to know she still cared but you had been killing yourself, literally, so that you could keep her away from this and your doctor has been telling her anyways.

"You had no right"

"No I didn't but it was the right thing to do. That women loves you Y/N. When faced with death most of my patients live life there's no tomorrow. They do all the things that are on their bucket list, they make memories with their friends and confess their feelings but you, you have done the opposite. You refuse to see or speak to anyone unless it is unavoidable and you push away the woman you love most in this world. I made a decision, one that I won't apologise for"

At this point your doctor was like family so he didn't mind calling you out when your were being stubborn or stupid.

"What if I hurt her?"

Dying doesn't scare you because you had been preparing for it your entire life. Being the reason that Christen cries herself to sleep at night, that is one of your greatest fears.

"You already are by pushing her away"

You knew he was right. It became obvious the moment you broke up with her but in your eyes you were hurting her a little bit now in order to keep from hurting a lot more later on.

"Can I call you tomorrow with an answer?"

"Of course"

When you leave his office your phone feels like it's burning a hole in your pocket. Every part of you wanted to hear Christen's voice but something was stopping you.

Ignorance had been your greatest ally as of late. If you weren't at the hospital or at rehab then you would tell yourself that you are healthy but you were no longer able to ignore the uncertainty of your future. Portland has been home since you went No1 in the draft so subconsciously you take yourself to Providence park which isn’t all that strange considering it’s about this time of day when training ends. You stop at a poster of you and Tobin after you won the championship last season, the two of you looked so happy and carefree.

"It's a good photo" you don't need to turn around in order to know who is there.

"Y/N and Heath, Portland's unstoppable force" It was a nickname that the fans gave the both of you years ago and it has stuck ever since.

"Well one of us is" Tobin jokes.

"I guess I deserve that. I've missed you Tobs" you hug her tightly with a force that she returns.

"You're scaring us Y/N. Everyone is worried about you. Christen isn't herself, she is barely sleeping, every time she closes her eyes she sees you on that pitch or worse. She told me the other night that she finds herself walking through cemetery and it is your headstone that she goes to"

"I never wanted any of this to happen. I just wanted to protect her, you do know that don't you?"

"Of course I do and she does too. I know you don't want to talk about it but please tell me you're getting better" Tobin pleads.

"I wish I could. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't want to put you in a position where you have to lie but I need to have the big surgery, the one I have been putting off, and i'm not sure if i'm ready to have it yet"

"You're scared?" Tobin asks and you nod "You will make the right decision Y/N and I know you want to do this alone but if you want me to then i'll be by your side through it all"

The offer meant more than Tobin knew. You truly thought that your behaviour over the past couple of months had burnt the bridges that you call your friendships.

"Thank you Tobin"

She joins you as you wander the city but after an hour she picks up on the fact that you wanted to be alone and before leaving she reminds you once again that she is only a call away should you need her.

You find a bench that over looks the water. You put your earphones in and dial Christen's number, praying to the higher powers that she answers, she doesn't. It didn't come as a surprise, you didn't deserve her time. You try again only this time you decide to leave a voicemail.

"Hi bab—, sorry I mean Christen, it's Y/N. I have been told that I should talk to someone and you are the first person that came to my mind. I—“

"Y/N? Are you ok? Is something wrong"

"Christen?" you pull your phone out of your pocket to see if the call has connected "you didn't pick up, I thought I was leaving a voicemail"

"Sorry I was in the shower. Is everything ok?"

"I want to talk to you but I need you to treat me like the old Y/N, not the weak and broken Y/N"

"You're not broken Y/N. You are human and sometimes humans get sick"

"Chris, please"

"Girlfriend Y/N or cocky and confident Y/N? Just so I know which Y/N I am speaking to?" she chuckles slightly as she allows herself to get lost in the game are playing.

"The one that loves you unconditionally"

"My favourite Y/N"

You ignore the butterflies that you feel when you hear Christen's voice. Despite everything that is going on with you and her, she still manages to calm you down without even trying.

"I remember the first time you took me home to meet your family, I was so nervous. I know how much they mean to you and although you are this independent woman who doesn't need anyones approval, you still wanted theirs and I thought for certain I wouldn't get it"

This was news to Christen. She couldn't have imagined this is how you felt given the way you strode into the Press family full of confidence and not willing to let anyone get in the way of your relationship.

"I didn't know that"

"Can you remember the end of the night when you Dad asked to speak to me outside?" you hear Christen hum on the other end "That was the calmest I had been the entire night"

"Y/N, that doesn't make sense"

"It does because I knew the 'nobody will be good enough for my daughter' speech was coming. He asked me if I deserved to be in his daughters life and I said no. It was an easy answer because although I had known you for a few years, we had only being dating for a few months and in that time you showed me just how amazing you are and part of me knew from the moment I met you that you were too good for me Christen. The next morning Channing and Tyler cornered me in the kitchen and asked me the same type of question. The only person who didn't was your mom"

"She told me to tell that she's really mad at you"

"She'll have to get in line. Can I continue?"

You take her silence as a yes.

"Your mom asked me why I don't trust that her daughter is making the right decision. I said because i'm not capable of loving you like you deserve and whether it be in one year or ten years, I will break your heart"

"Y/N"

"She told me breaking someone's heart isn't always a bad thing because if you have the power to do that then they must love you with every fibre of their being and that isn't something to be sad about. She said when the day comes, I won't do it on purpose because if I do then I would be hurting myself in the process"

"When the day comes? She knew?"

"I asked myself the same question. Her words were filled with so much comfort that I was sure she did but it wasn't possible"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I knew from day one that this wasn't going to end well and I pursued it anyways. I was selfish and I have hurt you when I spent years making sure that didn't happen"

When the line goes quiet you are sure that Christen has hung up. You wouldn't be angry if she did, it was nice of her to give you the time that she had.

"Can you remember the night before the world cup final when we walked the streets of Paris?"

This is how the rest of the night went. You and Christen went back and forth sharing your favourite memories from your time together. Every so often she would change the subject to your health but it was only for a second then she would go back to her story.

The night draws in and the temperature drops but you are too content sitting by the water, admiring the view and talking to Christen. A dog comes running up to you, the bark makes Christen question where you are.

"Y/N where are you?"

"On a bench"

"You should go home"

"But I don't want to say goodbye"

Both of you go silent. The heaviness of the words you just said bring back the reality of what has been going in.

"There's no reason for you to say goodbye" Christen says and it's obvious even she didn't believe the words that are coming out of her mouth.

"Chris"

"No, I won't have this conversation with you over the phone. If you want to say your goodbyes then you do it in person"

"I love you and my heart, as broken as it may be, belongs to you and it will do until my last day on earth and then long into the afterlife"

A strong sense of Deja Vu hits you and Christen. You had said this before but the meaning is different now.

"Stop"

"I need surgery Christen and the risks are high but if I don't have it then I don't know how long—“

"Y/n, please" Christen begs you from her end of the phone "I know you broke up with me and I know why but I love you"

"Christen, stop. I can tell what you're thinking. Please don't come to Portland"

"But I want to be with you"

"I am only a phone call away but I need space to do this ok?"

"I want to make a deal. No more radio silence. You call me every day, whether it is a good day or a bad one. I'll give you your space but I need you in my life"

Christen's determination was admirable and you wouldn't expect anything less.

"We have a deal"

"Pinky promise?"

"Ok"

"I need to hear you say it"

"Christen I pinky promise to call you everyday"

You decided not to get the major surgery. Life is short, you know this more than most, so you took your chances and worked with the physios to get you fit and healthy in time for the summer. It was difficult and there were days that you felt like giving up but you persisted, maybe a little too hard.

The bad days came along more than the good days but you kept your promise to christen. You called her everyday, sometimes twice.

You were promised a spot on the olympic roster if the doctors cleared you. It didn't matter if you didn't take part in the camps. The staff and players knew you belonged on the team, you could take a year off and still step on the pitch like no time had passed.

Just before the send off series, a rematch against Canada was organised. Due to the history of the fixture both teams felt they owed the fans a full 90 minute match. They agreed to have the game in Portland seen as though the city means so much to you.

Christen wanted to go to your apartment as soon as she landed but in the end she chooses to respect your wishes.

Your absence in the locker room was obvious. It was the first time that the national team had played without you in years and each player struggled with the thought of not having you on the pitch with them. Christen kept checking her phone every few minutes, you hadn’t had your morning call and something didn’t feel right. What she saw next seemed to add fuel to the fire.

“You can’t wear that?” Christen says when she watches Mallory change into her shorts. There on the left side was the number 7.

“Y/N told me to wear it” Mal’s defence was honest. She remembers getting the call from you, at first it was strange but then you explained the reason why and the young forward saw it as an honour.

“She would never do that” it is Tobin who speaks up “It’s her number and she wouldn’t give it up, not when she knows she’s—“ your best friends stops herself when she realises what you have done.

“When she’s what?” Mal asks.

“Never mind” Tobin retreats to her locker where she tries to call you only to get your voicemail.

The game ends in a 1-1 draw. Both halves were uneventful but the post match press conference made up for that. Canada goes first and as Christine Sinclair sits down she has no idea what she is in for.

The US team watch from the changing room given that their captain is next and they want to see what she gets asks.

“Christine do you have a comment on the latest news regarding your Portland Thorns team mate Y/N Y/L/N?”

It was a question that threw not only her off but the entire USWNT locker room. As far as they were aware you were recovering well and on track to return to the team.

“What news is that?” Christine says as she ignores the pit that is forming in her stomach.

“What are they talking about?” Christen asks Tobin. The insecurities of been left in the dark regarding your condition come straight to the surface.

“I don’t know” Tobin tries to hide her worry.

The journalist who asked the question remains quiet. It was clear that Christine didn’t know what he was talking about and he knew that a press conference wasn’t the right place to tell her and he shouldn't be the one to do so.

“Tell me, please” Christine encourages the journalist.

“I have a source that tells me Y/N was brought into OHSU this morning by ambulance and that she was rushed into emergency heart surgery” she can tell by the tone of his voice that he didn’t want to say it.

“This press conference is over” Christine leaves and heads straight for the opposing teams locker room.

The room that holds your team is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They were all in a state of shock that left them frozen in their spot. The first to move is Emily who calls your number time and time again hoping that if she does it enough then you will pick up. Tobin is next, she calls you mom who doesn’t answer either.

“Hello”

Christen’s voice fills the locker room.

“Ok, I understand”

Her team mates watch and wait for her to tell them something, anything. Christen takes a deep breathe before turning her attention to the team.

“That was her doctor’s office. All they can tell me is that she is in surgery”

Christen takes a deep breath. A few days ago she begged you for honesty and against your better judgement you gave it to her. You told her everything and what followed was never part of your plan. After cooking a meal together over face time Christen asked you to say goodbye and you knew you owed her that. It wasn't a sad goodbye and you didn't talk about your past. You talked about a life where you are healthy, get married, have children and live long enough to grow old together then at the end you said your goodbyes.

It is the reason why Christen remains in her locker when the rest of the team get ready to go the hospital. Even as Christine comes to tell them the news that they already know, she remains still and calm.

"Christen, get your stuff together, we need to go" Tobin tells her.

Yet she doesn't move.

"I'm not going"

"I understand that things aren't great between the two of you but this is bad and she needs you"

That's the thing, even though you wasn't dating, you and Christen were in a good place. There were no more lies between you and it made your friendship stronger than it ever was.

"I've already said my goodbye and I don't want my last memory to be of her in a hospital bed"

The team couldn't believe what they were hearing. They had no idea you were at a point when goodbyes were necessary.

Given the seriousness of the surgery you were having, most of the team decide to go back to the hotel while a handful of them went to to the hospital.

Christen however asks for space and the team give it to her. She doesn't go back to the hotel, instead she goes to your apartment and uses the key you gave her to let herself in. She goes straight to your room and gets changed into a pair of your joggers and grabs a hoodie as she brings it up to her nose she takes a deep breathe in, it smelled just like you.

She gets into your bed, the one that you shared many times before. Then she gets her phone, opens up your thread of messages and scrolls until she find the one she is looking for. It was a voice note followed by the text 'don't listen now. Wait until it's time'. At first she thought it was vague but right now she knew now is the time you were referring to.

Hearing your voice knowing that there's a chance she won't hear it in person again brings Christen to tears and all you're doing is mumbling words of frustration as you have knocked a drink over whilst recording.

"Sorry about that. Now, what was I going to say? Oh yeah, I love you. It's been a while since I have told you that but if you're listening to this then i'm guessing you need to hear it. I know you are scared right now but I want you to know everything is going to be ok, I promise"

"How can you promise that?" Christen says to the phone.

"And I can promise that because you are one of the strongest people I have ever met"

She laughs at little at how much you know her.

"I know we said our goodbyes but now I want to say thank you. Living the life I have means that I have cherished everyday I've spent on this earth and those days have been better than I could have ever imagined because I got to share them with you. You see I was determined not to fall in love but then you came along and I found out how naive I was to think I had a choice in the matter"

"I didn't have a choice either Y/N" she replies as if you are there in the room with her.

"I never feared death growing up but now the thought petrifies me and it's because I have something to lose and somebody to live for. I want a future with you, I want to marry you, will you marry me? No Y/N what are you doing you can't ask the women to marry you over voice note pull yourself to together"

A small chuckle escapes christen's lips are she listens to you tell your self off.

"Would you marry me?"

She had never heard you sound this unsure before.

"I would" she answers your questions.

"I hope you said yes otherwise this next part is going to be very awkward. I take it your in my apartment right now and in my bed, if I am correct then you can open the draw to the left of you where you will find a small box"

Christen's interest had spiked. How did you manage to plan all of this over a voice note. Just as you said she finds a red box and awaits further instructions.

"Open it"

She does so and finds a diamond ring.

"This ring is open for interpretation but for me it's a reminder. Should I die I want you to remember the love that I have for you. I bought it during the world cup but I told myself that I would only give you it after I had told you about my condition. Can I class this as me giving it to you?"

You are about to answer your own question once again but out of nowhere you begin coughing and Christen winces at the sound. She doesn't know when you recorded the message but given that you are in surgery she can guess it was recorded in the last couple of days.

"Sorry, give me a minute"

Christen listens as you try to get your breath back.

"I really hope this is not the last time you hear my voice" she can tell you are scared.

"My dying wish is that you find peace"

"Don't say that" Christen begs.

"I truly am sorry for the pain that I have caused you. I never wanted it to happen. Goodbye my love"

Christen waits for you to say to more but you don't. That is the last part of the voice note. She lays in your bed long enough to watch the sunset through your window. In the same draw that held the ring is a photo album, one that you had made. There were photos taken over your career, of you and your friends and quite a few of you and her.

Later that night Christen receives a text from Tobin saying that you are out of surgery and that you should wake up in a few hours once the anaesthesia has worn off. Then she received a second message saying that you had woken up but Christen stayed in your apartment. When her phone goes off again she assumes it will be Tobin asking why she hasn't come to visit but that isn't the case.

Have you been watering my cactus?

Christen cannot believe it. You have just had major heart surgery and this is the thing you say.

You don't need to water a cactus. They live in the desert.

I knew that. I was just testing you.

She doesn't get the chance to respond before you send another message.

I know I scared you. Will you come and see me? It doesn't have to be today, it can be in a couple of days or whenever you are ready. It's not like I can go anywhere.

I'll come by the day after tomorrow. You need your rest.

You were disappointed to receive Christen's reply. You may have been surrounded by your mom and close friends but the only person want to see wasn't there.

Just as she said, Christen walks the halls of the hospital two days later. She finds your room but cannot muster up enough courage to go inside.

"She's ok" your mom's voice causes her to turn on her heels "The wires make it look worse than it actually is"

"I don't know if i'm ready to see her like that yet" Christen admits. It was the reason why she had waited this long to come.

"I understand but she has been waiting for you. You were the first person she asked for when she woke up"

"Is she alone?"

"No Tobin is in there with her now. She hasn't left the hospital since she got here after the game but she was asleep when I left. I'll give you some time with her" and with that your mom walks away.

The door to your hospital room opens and you are expecting your mom or more doctors but instead it is the person you love most in the world.

"Hi"

When you see Christen you notice the dark circles in her eyes and the way her smile is forced. You look her up and down as if doing your own inspection and that is when you see it.

Christen is overcome with emotion as she saunters over towards you and before you can say anything her lips are on yours. Nothing in this world compared to moments like this, when your connection with Christen is proven through a small act of intimacy.

When you pull apart Christen sits on the side of your bed.

"Nice ring" you hold her hand up just enough to see the diamond glisten in the lights.

"Crappy proposal"

At least now you know Christen listened to the voice note and wasn't just snooping around.

"It's wasn't a proposal remember? And I don't recall telling you which finger it was for" There is a hint of playfulness in your voice but the truth of the matter is you were happy to see Christen wearing the ring but then she takes it off and gives it to you.

"Y/N you gave me this ring because you thought our story was over but it isn't. Regardless of how long it is, we have a future together and I want to spend it with you so no more running, no more secrets or lies and no more protecting me from this" Christen gentles rests her index finger on your heart "You may not have proposed but right here I take the vow to love you in sickness and in health and to be your partner in the good times and bad"

You didn't know what to say. Christen knew everything and she still chose to stand by your side. You always said you didn't deserve her and now you know this more than ever but the difference is you are determined to spend your life making up for the years you spent keeping her in the dark. You will earn back her trust and show her just how much you love her.

[rose-pearls]

Everyday prompts

I found some sweet prompts and thought I would write them for Hangman, Bob, Phoenix and Rooster so enjoy!

All credit for the prompts goes to the people that created them!

“You’re cute when you get angry.” -Hangman 

The Hard Deck was filled with people, which was usual on a Friday night but tonight a whole group of aviators seemed to make even more noise. Your friends had been talking about them all night long, how handsome they were and how they could approach them. 

“Alright, maybe if you fall and one of them helps you!”, Stacy says with a mischievous grin, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of Lucy falling on purpose but also at the glare the girl in question was sending Stacy.

“Right, let me fall straight on my face and embarrass myself.”, she says sarcastically, and you laugh again as the image appears in your mind, but you try to stop as Lucy glares at you, a small smile on her lips.

You groan as you hear ‘Slow Ride’ being chosen again as a song and you roll your eyes.

“I am seriously going to murder the person who keeps putting that song on.”, you mumble under your breath and the two others laugh at your words.

“Don’t worry I know somewhere to hide the body.”, Lucy says while smirking.

“I watched every single episode of How to get away with murder so I’m a pro, could become your lawyer.”, the two-start planning how to hide the body, and how cutting up the body wasn’t the right idea.

“It’s good to know that you two are ready to do this, but I’m just going to change the song.”, you say, and the two girls groan in disappointment but matching grins on their lips tell you that they are glad to hear something else. 

The jukebox is close to the pool table, and you don’t see the gaze of a handsome pilot on you as you arrive next to it.

You hesitate for a moment at what song to choose before you feel someone sliding up next to you.

“I would choose Slow Ride if I were you.”, a voice tells you and you turn around to see a blond man looking at you with a cocky grin. You snort at his words, and he looks at you slightly surprised before a smirk appears.

“Please that song is a pain to everyone.”, you get ready to try and hit the button for the next song but before you are able to the blonde’s hand pushes the button for Slow Ride making you look at him with wide eyes.

“Seriously? Is listening to it ten times not enough already?”, you say, feeling irritated, more at the fact that this man was incredibly handsome with his cocky grin.

“You’re cute when you get angry.”, he whispers, a seductive tone in his voice and he slowly approaches you making you blush, and you feel your back hitting against the jukebox. You try to find an answer but aren’t able to and the man’s smirks widens.

“What’s your name darling?”, the way he says the pet name makes you shiver, the southern accent definitely making you blush and slightly aroused. 

“Put on another song and I’ll tell you.”, you tell him, and the man looks at you for a moment before he moves his arms on either side of you, trapping you against the jukebox and his strong body.

You are ready to ask what he thinks he’s doing but then you hear a Whitney Houston song, the one you had been eyeing. You can’t help but look at him surprised and his smirks widens.

“So, what’s your name.”, he asks again, and you tell him after a moment, and he seems pleased as you do.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.”, even though you are definitely blushing at the words you can’t help but snort.

“You tell this to every girl cowboy?”, this makes him chuckle softly and you don’t how this man makes everything attractive.

“Only to the ones that deserve it.”, he says while looking you up and down and coming closer to you.

“And sweetheart, you definitely do.”, he whispers, and you look into his green eyes making your heart flutter.

“And what is your name?”, you ask, your voice slightly uneven at having him so close to you.

“Jake.”, he says, and you nod slowly, looking at him for a moment.

“So, what do you say of getting out of here and letting me buy you something to eat?”, his words caught you off guard, but you can’t help but nod at his words.

“Let me say goodnight to my friends and we can go.”, he nods in answer and a smile is on his lips.

Stacy and Lucy are squealing as you arrive, and you barely have time to tell them what is happening that they are pushing you outside to join him.

“Use protection!”, Lucy yells and you feel yourself getting beet red as the two giggle and Jake is smirking at them, before putting a soft hand on your back and leading you out.

Years later you hear Slow Ride again but this time you can’t help but laugh as your husband looks at you with a smirk and brings you into a searing kiss.

Person A and Person B getting sidetracked while grocery shopping – Bob

“Alright, Costco! We have our list, everything should go fine.”, you tell Bob, and he nods in answer looking at the shop entrance with a confident look.

“We survived the uranium mission, we can survive Costco.”, he tells you confidently and you nod in answer. 

“Let’s do this!”, the two of you enter Costco and you try to focus on what you need, and not look at the rest around you.

You have nearly everything, the two of you smiling victoriously before a high-pitched voice stops you.

“Hi! Would you like to taste the new meatballs we have?”, she has a plate full of meatballs and the two of you try to say no but she pushes them under your noses and the delicious smell makes the two of you give in. 

“This is good.”, you can’t help but say and the woman nods happily, Bob takes a pack of them, and you thank her.

“Alright just one time, that’s not too bad.”, you tell him and Bob nods in reassurance, looking around scared that someone was going to come out of nowhere. 

You arrive near the cash register, and you think that you have done it until you see a woman arriving towards you with a plate.

“Do we run?”, Bob whispers, panicking and you nod slowly but as you turn around you see a man with a plate and the two of you groan.

“This is not going to work out for us, isn’t it?”, Bob asks, and you shake your head.

“We’ve lost this battle Lieutenant, but at least we can eat.”, this makes Bob laugh and bring you closer for a sweet kiss.

“So, what do you say we try these samples and then go and get a slice of pizza?”, he tells you and you can’t help but smile at the words.

“You read my mind.”, the two of you grin widely before starting to walk towards one of the people trying to look innocent before taking some food. 

And if the two of you ended up with a lot more groceries, then you had to, you can’t help but smile as you are able to enjoy some time together.

Person A watching Person B teach their kid a new skill. – Rooster

It had been a long day at work, people running everywhere and acting like they knew everything better then everyone. You felt ready to fall asleep on your couch but as you had a two years old so it was going to be a bit more complicated.

The house was quiet as you entered it which was weird because usually Rooster was already home with Nick. 

“Brad? I’m home.”, you say but you get no response, maybe they went to the park together, which makes it possible for you to take a warm shower.

As you walk up the stairs you hear some laughter from the office in the house and you hear some piano notes being played.

“Careful, now you need to do this.”, Nick is on Bradley’s lap, facing the piano while his father shows him how to play a melody on it. 

He follows his father’s movement with his eyes and Bradley holds him close to his chest with his other hand.

“Alright, now your turn.”, Bradley whispers and Nick brings his little hand to the piano, trying to do the same thing as his father, but due to his smaller hands he seems to struggle.

A pout can be seen on his lips, looking like his father when he does that before Bradley laughs softly.

“Don’t worry you’ll get it, let’s try again.”, Nick nods slowly before trying it again, this time with Bradley’s help and you can’t help but melt at the sight of them.

After a minute or two he seems to get it and a bright smile appears on his lips before letting out a happy squeal, making Bradley laugh.

“You did it, so proud of you.”, you hear him murmur against Nick’s hair as he drops a few kisses on his hair before bringing him closer.

“Alright, why don’t we learn a little more so that we can show it to mum later?”, this makes Nick look at his father with excitement in his eyes and you can’t help but feel your heart melt at the sight before Nick turns back to the piano keys. 

You close the door softly, knowing that the two of them needed some time just the two of them before they were ready to show you what they had prepared. In the meantime, a hot shower sounded nice.

Person A patching up Person B’s wounds. – Phoenix

“You don’t need to do that you know?”, Phoenix whispers softly and you look at her with raised eyebrows before dabbing her cut with some alcohol.

“I know, but I like to take care of you.”, you whisper and Phoenix blushes at your words, a shy smile appearing.

“Well, I have to admit that I like it more when you patch me up then the nurse.”, this makes you giggle, and she smiles brighter.

“Next time I’ll put a nurse outfit on if you want.”, Phoenix eyes widens, and you smirk at her reaction.

“Please do that.”, she tells you breathless and you can’t help but laugh at her excitement.

“I’ll do it next time, although I would prefer not to have to patch you up anymore.”, you say to her softly, knowing that she was in a career that was more dangerous than others. Her smile is understanding as you put on the band aid and kiss it softly.

“There you go, all new.”, you tell her happily and she smiles brightly.

“You can always just wear the outfit even if I’m not hurt.”, she says with a smirk, and you look at her with raised eyebrows.

“I shouldn’t have started about it, huh?”, she shakes her head and smirks before bringing you closer.

“I’ll order it for you.”, she gives you a quick kiss before you can even say anything, too much in shock.

“W-wait Nat!”, but she is already giggling at her computer, taking it away as you try to take it from her and she runs through the house, with you behind her while she orders it. 

Once you finally manage to catch her you are out of breath, and a winning grin is on her lips as she looks at you above her. 

“I have Amazon Prime it will be here in two days.”, she whispers happily, and you shake your head in amusement, a fond look in your eyes.

“You are impossible once you get your mind on something.”, you whisper softly before bringing her into a heated kiss. 

The nurse outfit does arrive two days later which makes Phoenix laugh loudly when you open it up.

[bonezone44]

'Get a Grip' (18+)

Watch Model!Joel Miller x Manicurist!Reader

Word Count: 3,8k

Summary: Joel Miller comes to your salon for a manicure, then he invites you to assist him during a photoshoot.

Tags: afab!Reader, hand kink, glove kink, finger sucking, fingering, p-in-v, creampie

a/n: this story came about during a brief discussion of Pedro’s watch modeling era a few weeks ago. Thank you to @xdaddysprincessxx and @iamasaddie for the inspo!

+++++++

Hands. Fingers.

They’re your job.

Every once in a while someone will walk in with a nice set of digits and you admire them while they’re in front of you. While you push back their cuticles and clean beneath the nail. Add the acrylic and the polish. Then they’re out of your mind again as you wait for the next client to plop into the chair and request a full set or a simple repair. 

Your repeat clients usually want the nail art. That’s where you shine, to be honest. Delicately painted swirls. Boxes like Mondrian. Gold leaf. Rhinestones. Each nail a tiny little canvas for you to create something unique.

The male customers are different. The masculine ones, anyway.

They want simple hygienic maintenance. Maybe a massage. Maybe they just wanna flirt with a woman while she provides a service. And you appease them. It’s no bother to you.

It’s your job.

It’s just your job.

It’s the thing you do all the time every day and have done for years.

And yet no matter how many times you try to repeat those words in your head, you find yourself salivating over the man sitting across from you–with his playful baritone Texan voice and the beautiful steel and gold Cartier watch on his wrist. Not that you’re one to dig for gold. You simply admire fine craftsmanship.

Just like you admire the fineness of his hands.

The veins that rise on the top of his right hand, over his fingerbones, look like wandering rivers and you really wanna admire them with the tip of your tongue, tracing along their edges. His fingers themselves are long, thick rectangles that you wanna slip into your mouth one at a time.

In simple …admiration. 

“Not too smooth,” he says when you pull out your buffer. “They don’t want me lookin’ too clean.”

“Who’s that?” you ask, keeping your voice nice and even while your cheeks feel hot and your thoughts are a million miles away from ‘appropriate’.

“The… oh, whaddya call ‘em.” He hums. “The brand specialists, I guess.” He chuckles. “They hit me up about a month ago. Got a new line coming out that’s–get this–” he says with a flash of his eyebrows. “--’safari’ inspired.” He scoffs.

“Safari, huh?” You roll your eyes.  You can imagine the Cartier boardroom of pompous old Frenchmen glorifying the art and tales created during the French expansion of the 1800s—easily brushing past the eugenics-based mission of the violent nationalists. “Colonizers,” you mumble under your breath.

Joel laughs. “My daughter said the same thing.” He shrugs. “‘S no matter. I don’t mind takin’ their money if all I gotta do is have pretty hands.”

Your face burns immediately and keep your eyes and face focusing on the small nail at the end of his middle finger. “So, how’d you get started anyway?” You swallow thickly, trying to ignore the heat building between your legs. “No offense, I guess, but you don’t seem like the pretty boy-type.” Besides the watch on his wrist, he’s wearing plain Levi’s blue jeans and a black t-shirt that you can almost guarantee came from Target. You can tell his brown and grey curls don’t have any product in them and he’s got about two or three-week-old scruff on his face. 

He chuckles again and you glance up, watching the deep creases in his forehead soften. “Daughter’s the one to blame for it.” He shakes his head with a smile. “We were visiting Houston and she wanted to go shopping, so I let her pick the mall.” His brows go high. “This little 12 year-old picked a luxury mall and I didn’t realize it til we got outta the truck.” 

Your lips go between your teeth, imagining his embarrassment. 

“She was so excited, too. She hopped down out the truck and–fyoo!--took right off runnin.” He grins. “I had to chase her down and tell her not to touch anythin. I woulda had to take out a second mortgage to pay for it if she broke somethin.”

“I bet,” you smile. You finish buffing his nails and pull out the moisturizing oil. You begin to massage each of his fingers, one-by-one, rolling the flesh between your thumb and index finger, marveling at how long it takes you to get from base to tip. You were admiring the mathematics of it. 

The proportions. 

The number of fingers he might could get inside you.

“Next thing I know, she goes runnin into a Cartier store sayin that they can fix my watch ‘cause they got watches in the window.” He shrugs and rolls his eyes. “I was tryin to politely escort her back out, when some big wig saw me and started talkin to me.” He shrugs again. “They took a couple polaroids and got my info. And now every once in a while, they’ll call me up for somethin.”

You stop massaging and stare at him with your eyes big and wide. “I know women who would literally murder to have that happen to them.”

He chuckles and it gets your body even warmer. “Yeeaahh, that’s what I hear.”

You shake your head in disbelief, returning to your task. You can believe his story, too. You’ve only been staring at his hands for a few minutes and you are enraptured by them. Is it the hands? Or is it him?

Or is it all of it together?

You’re not sure. You’re just enjoying the muscle you feel beneath the surface of his nearly square palm, the thick round meat between the web of his thumb and the end of his wrist. You can’t help but admire the basin in the center where the heart and head line lie parallel. Not that you were a palm reader. But you couldn’t help but know a thing or two about the intuitive art.

Hands. Fingers.

They’re your job, afterall.

“What do you do for work?” you ask, because hands like his were used. Too thick not to be. They couldn’t just sit pretty all day.

“I’m a contractor.”

You blink. You look up at him with your brows high into your forehead. “These are not contractor hands,” you say, stroking along his palm. You don’t see a single cut or abrasion. The few calluses he had could barely be considered calluses at all. More like small rough spots.

“I wear special gloves,” he says with a smirk. “It’s a special kind of leather that fits around ‘em real tight.”

“Oh,” you answer, heat fully overtaking your chest and face. You imagine how nice his fingers must look wrapped in a second skin, smoothing over all his contours and lines, making each appendage even thicker and his hands even broader. You imagine what they would feel like, sliding up your bare calves and pulling you apart at the knees. You imagine the soft, conditioned leather moving back and forth across your clit, driving you mad ‘cause your aching for his skin and his touch and his heat.

“You know, I uhh… got a shoot coming up in a couple weeks. I’d love to see you again.”

Your heart races in your chest.

He smirks, his eyes soft and hazy. “You know, since you’re doin’ such a good job takin care o’ my hands right now.”

“Absolutely,” you try to temper your excitement. “Just give me the date, time, and place.” You shrug in a way that you’re sure is very nonchalant. “I mean, I-I-I can come to you if you need me to.” The Pope himself could have an appointment scheduled, and you would cancel it without regret if this man is implying what you are desperately hoping he is implying.

“Well, alright then.” He grins.

—------------

You’re pressed into the door of the hotel room–the one right next to where Joel just finished his photoshoot. He’s got one arm wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling your face into his. His kisses are heavy and fervent. His tongue licks into you in a way that makes you want it even deeper–makes you wanna swallow him whole and keep him inside you. One of his hands is gloved–in one of the ‘special gloves’ he told you about. It’s a camel-colored leather, hand-stitched and form-fitting. And it is definitely not one he uses for work. They fit tight around the heel of his palm, like driving gloves. Must have gotten a new pair from Cartier themselves. 

His gloved hand is under your shirt, sliding up your mid-section and grasping your breast. You gasp and moan into his mouth when he starts pinching and plucking your nipple. 

“Open up for me,” he says after pulling away from you. 

And when you do, he shoves two fingers between your lips, the rest of his hand resting on your cheek, your head still cradled by his arm.

“Good girl,” he coos with a smirk. “Good girl.” He grinds his hardness into your side.

You’re melting into the door behind you, into him, into your own body. You close your lips and suck, not quite sure what to do or how to turn him on. You curl your lips beneath your teeth and slowly bob your head back and forth.

“No no no. Not like that,” he chides you. “This ain’t no cock in your mouth.” He shakes his head. “They’re my fingers.” His eyes are wide and serious. “And I don’t want you thinkin ‘bout anythin else but that. Alright, darlin?” He’s nodding up and down, waiting for you to mirror him.

You nod back the best you can and adapt.  You press the two fingers into the roof of your mouth and suck hard, scraping them along your teeth as you pull your head back. Your lips are wrapped tight around them. You rub your tongue back and forth between them as you engulf them again. You watch him as he watches you through heavy eyelids.

“Good girl,” he says again and licks his lips. His gloved hand moves to your other breast, squeezing it with a rough grip. “Good fuckin girl. Suck those fingers,” he says and you can feel him wiggle them in your mouth. 

You go weak in the knees and you’re not sure how you’re able to stay upright. By the grace of god, you’re able to reach up and grab his hand. You pull his fingers out and then take only one finger back inside. 

He watches you, curious, twisting your nipple in his hand.

Then you add the second finger back in, sucking it. Wetting it. Drool pooling around the edges of your mouth.

You pull those two out and then you suck three fingers in–not as deep and they’re scraping against your teeth more, but you try to give that third finger some extra attention, tracing along the bottom of it with the tip of your tongue.

“You want it bad, huh?” He looks like he’s scowling, but he’s still grinding against you–hard as ever.

You nod.

“You want my hands all over you, baby?” He applies the smallest amount of pressure to his bare, wet fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag. 

Tears tumble out the edges of your eyes as you nod.

He pulls his hands away from you and steps back. “I need you on that bed. Naked. Now."

You rush to do as he says, removing all your clothes in a flurry. You barely register the low hum of the A/C and the cool temperature of the room. You’re too focused on the towering man walking towards you, your legs spreading of their own accord.

His lips are tight and he sucks in a deep breath. "That is one good lookin pussy." He unbuckles his belt and rips it from the loops of his jeans. His eyes roam over your body as he tosses it to the side, the buckle thudding against the carpet. He tugs his t-shirt up his stomach and over his head. "Can't wait to make it mine."

Once his jeans are off and he's just as bare as you (except for the glove on his hand), he waves for you to scoot back before joining you. 

Joel settles himself on his side, propped up on his elbow. He makes no move toward his hardened cock. Instead, the hand you were sucking on before finds your face again–cradling it. And this time, his thumb tucks itself between your lips. 

You suck on it like a straw. 

"How many o’ these you think you can fit in there?" He says. But he’s not referring to your mouth. His gloved hand has found its way between your legs and folds. One lone finger is prodding at your wet entrance. He squints and looks down as he pulls it back out–only having gone in an inch or two. The tip of his glove glistens in the warm glow of the room's lamps. He looks back at you with a grin, sliding his finger in deeper. "Wonder if I can fit em all." He bites his lip as he stares at yours, plunging his finger in and out. "Fuck you with my whole hand."

You close your eyes and moan.

"Yeah? That sound good to you?" He adds a second finger, pushing both into you slowly.

You open your eyes and nod eagerly–humming in agreement. His thumb tugs at your cheek from inside your mouth. 

Joel chuckles. "Nah, not this time." He licks his lips. His eyelids are heavy. “My cock’s too hungry for it.”

 You pull his thumb out of your mouth. You lick his palm, tracing the deep creases with your tongue. "Whatever you want."

He curses under his breath.

His two gloved fingers curl and stroke your inner walls and while the sensation is high-pitched and pleasing, you're more focused on properly worshiping his bare hand. 

Your tongue leaves his palm and you turn his hand over so you can suck the knuckles. Fulfilling one of the many fantasies you've had about Joel since first meeting him. You swirl your tongue around the hill of bone beneath the skin before lowering your mouth and suckling. 

Joel groans. "You love it that much, huh?" He curls his fingers, scraping against your inner clitoris muscle. "Love sucking on me?"

"Yeah," you whimper as your hips jump. 

"Fuck, that’s what I like to hear." Joel removes the two gloved fingers from inside you. He glides them up and around your folds, spreading your slick and teasing your clit. 

It feels …different–how the hard and thin seams of the glove create an added sensation. A starker tease alongside the languid movement of his hand. 

You look down in time to see Joel adding a third finger inside you, the pressure growing too slowly for your taste. But again, you have another task to attend to. 

You suck Joel's pinky in your mouth and bob your head a few times before releasing it.  You suck it right back in with his ring finger alongside it.

He grunts and moans, his three fingers jerking inside you. Your pussy is wet and squelching. His lips go tight as he watches his glove shine more and more with your slick. 

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and holds your head in place as he kisses you, biting and tugging on your lips. His tongue pushing in so deep, it feels like he's trying to drink you. 

"Fuck, that wet pussy sounds fuckin good. You gonna let me put my cock in there?" He speaks into your mouth. 

Your stomach swoops and your body is on fire. "Yes, please, Joel," you moan. "Please fill me up with your cock." 

He pulls his gloved fingers out of you. His eyes are big and wide. "You think you deserve it?"

"What?!" After everything? After all the sucking and fawning and–how? How could he deny you? You panic. 

"Please, Joel," you whine. You wrap your arms around him and kiss him up and down his neck. "I sucked your fingers so good. I sucked you so good." You're desperate. "I'm so wet for you." You kiss him down his chest. "Never been this wet."  You grab his cock, aiming to put it in your mouth. "Please-please-please!"

His gloved hand, covered in slick, wraps around your chin and jawbone, stopping you. "That's not the wet hole I want," he says and pushes you back, flat on the mattress. He quickly settles between your legs. There's no need for him to spit on his cock or glide it through your folds–your leaking arousal on the sheets. He uses his bare hand to guide it to your entrance. 

He groans and curses as he pushes in. 

"Thank you thank you thank you, Joel," you whisper and whimper as he sparks all your aching nerve endings. 

His forearms are on either side of you–his broad shoulders and body cage you in. “Fuck, this pussy is heaven, baby.”

The slow moving roll of his hips is the opposite of your panicked desperation, but it feels delicious. Turning all the glowing embers into full-blown fire. “So good, so good,” you mumble.

“Yeah? You like that cock, baby?” he asks with a smirk.

“Cock’s so good, Joel.”

He thrusts harder, his speed only slightly increased. Each heavy, steady flick of his hips sends a shock wave of pleasure through you. His bare thumb finds its way back into your mouth. “Suck on this ‘til you cum, baby.”

You nod. You can’t imagine what you look like. The lower half of your face feels wet with your spit. Your eyes are barely open, but you can’t stop staring at the beautiful man above you. His furrowed brows. His tight lips. His flared nostrils as he pounds into you faster and faster.

“Good girl,” he says as he tucks his head down and presses his cheek into yours. “Good girl, suckin me so good.” His arm wraps around your shoulder and pulls your body closer. “Knew you’d take good care o’ me. Knew this pussy’d be so wet.”

The heat inside you is building faster than you expected. You’re meeting his thrusts with your own–your thighs slapping into his hips. 

“Love suckin my fingers, don’t you, baby? Don’t you?” His lips find yours again and he kisses you with his thumb still in your mouth. 

His hips slow down and a desperate groan escapes your lungs, punched out by your diaphragm. You plead, but your words are intelligible.

He pulls his thumb from between your lips. “Whatchu need, baby?” He's rolling into you again, languid and rhythmic. 

“Make me come, Joel. Please make me come.”

“You need to come, baby?”

“Please, please,” you whine. 

“Alright, alright.” He leans back, his bare thumb back in your mouth and his gloved fingers on your clit. He doesn’t thrust any faster and it drives you crazy.

You try to shift his pace, fuck yourself on him til he gets the point–but instead he stops thrusting altogether.

“You got this, baby, come on,” he says with a smirk, making you do all the work. “Come on.”

Well, except for his hand rubbing circles on your clit. You writhe and squirm on his cock, chasing chasing chasing that fiery, burning heat. It’s there. It’s so close.

“Good girl, good li’l thumb-sucker,” he says and something twists inside your gut so hard you immediately come with a loud whimper. Body pulsing and pussy contracting around him. He grunts and curls his hips–as if he didn’t have a choice but to push himself deeper into your orgasm. He pulls his thumb from your mouth and strokes your chin with it. “Good fuckin girl, comin all over me.”

He falls back on top of you and wraps you up in his arms.

Your vision is blurry and you’re trying to catch your breath when he starts thrusting again–hard and fast.

“Knew you’d be good for me. Knew you’d be so fuckin wet.” 

Your body jerks and trembles from the stimulation, and you’re too blissed out to do anything but take it. 

“Knew you’d love suckin me.” He speaks through panting breaths. “Knew this pussy’d be so fuckin good.” He pushes himself up onto his hands. “You wanna come one more time, baby?” he asks.

You’re not sure, but you think the noise that comes out of you is one of agreement. You nod your head, whole body bouncing from his thrusts.

“‘M gonna fill you up,” he grunts with his brows pulled tight. “Come with me while I fill you up.” 

You want to, you really want to come one more time. And he’s pounding into you so hard, your bodies are slapping again. And his eyes and his voice and the determination on his face.

“Come with me, baby, come on,” he chokes out. Then he groans, heavy and low, and you can feel it–you can feel his milky release spurting out and filling you up. He stays above you, trying to catch his breath. “Didja come again?”

You smile. “No, but that’s okay,” you say. God, he’s beautiful. The way his eyes crinkle at the edges and how his beard frames his face.

“Like hell it is,” he murmurs and pulls out of you. He falls to your side again and two gloved fingers dip inside of you, his come spilling out. “You want my thumb again, baby?”

You nod and he gives it to you. You suck on it, pressing the pad of skin against your teeth. He pulls his fingers out and spreads his seed around your clit in circles, making a big mess of your folds.

You’re still dizzy and still over-stimulated, but his eyes are so big and sweet.

“I’ll stay here as long as it takes,” he says as he alternates between thrusting his fingers inside you and rubbing your clit. His brand-new gloves likely ruined.

You grab his wrist when you feel yourself getting close. When the heat hotter than fire starts to build inside of you again. You pant through your nose, your mouth glued to his thumb.

“Took such good care o’ me, baby.” He leans over you and presses his cheek to yours. His voice echoing through you. “Lemme take care o’ you. Lemme make you come, beautiful. Lemme make you come. Wantchu comin on my fingers every day with this pretty li’l pussy. So good for lettin me fill you up. You sucked me so good. Lemme take care o’ you, baby. Lemme make you come.”

It’s less powerful than your first, but the pulse of pleasure your orgasm sends through you is strong and satisfying. You moan and tug Joel’s hand away now that you're starkly overstimulated. “Oh my god,” you sigh, barely able to open your eyes.

Joel chuckles as his hand slides up your body. “Knew you’d be good for me.”

++++++

a/n: It’s been so long since I’ve written just-smut that I really don’t know how to end it. ‘And then they showered and took a nap!’ lol!

[im-robins-bitch]

An Ode To Roadtrips (Fruity Four x Gn! Reader)

Or, you had always wanted to go on a roadtrip, when you go with your four loves it turns out it isn’t exactly like in the movies.  1.9k

Inspired by @love-toxin​ (their stuff is great go read!)

Eddie’s elbow was jamming into you and continued to do so with increasing velocity as Eddie complained that none of his music was on the mix tape. Steve insisted it was on shuffle and one would come on soon. The discussion began anew every time a new song played and you were growing sick of it, but Eddie, who had ‘suffered through an entire ABBA tape’ was not going to let up anytime soon.

A cooler crammed on your lap was only adding to your discomfort. Your ass was aching on either side no matter how often you readjusted. Eddie had promised to swap it to his lap during the initial packing phase. Then his long legs hadn’t fit under Steve’s seat.  So his legs were jammed up against the seatseat and there was no room for the cooler on top of them. His uncomfortable position was only encouraging his sour mood. 

Robin was the third in your backseat trio and she was suffering from car sickness. She had promised she still had some travel sickness pills when Nancy had asked. Told everyone she had some in her backpack when Steve questioned her before setting off.

Only she had packed an empty packet. 

Your hand was entwined with hers, squeezing it every so often in solidarity. 

Steve ignored Eddie’s whining and turned Whitney Houston up louder. Eddie sank back into his seat once again and dropped his head against yours, smacking a kiss to it. 

Nancy and Steve were the only ones who were in relative comfort. Both sat in the front seats, Steve driving and Nancy giving him directions, the map dutifully laid on her lap. 

Every so often Nancy would watch Robin in the rearview mirror. She had a soft spot for the two of you. You knew it was killing her that she couldn’t take Robin's sickness away, it was killing you too. 

This whole road trip had seemed like a fun idea when it had been brought up. Going far away from Hawkins for a little while, deep into the woods where no one could disturb you. Allowing the five of you to fully relax for once. Not having to worry about prying eyes, about if you were acting too close for a group of friendly roommates. 

You only realised a little too late the reality of how annoying road trips could really be. Crammed into a car with too much stuff. The lack of space causing any possible tension to be multiplied. God forbid someone needed the bathroom shortly after you had already passed a service station. Of the five of you, only Nancy and Eddie had truly been on long road trip drives before. Nancy with her family and Eddie with his bandmates, going to shows in his van. It wasn’t living up to the romanticised fantasy you, Steve and Robin had envisioned when planning. 

“Not much longer now,” Nancy assured. The three of you in the back were glad to hear it. Eddie seemed to perk up at the news. 

He pressed a smattering of kisses to the side of your face. You moved your face to kiss him back, your free hand cupping his cheek to hold him in place. He shivered at the coldness of your touch, caused by the cooler. You nipped lightly at his bottom lip making him whine. “Hey,” Mumbled Robin, not wanting to be left out. She looked so pitiful, looking up at you from her slouched position with a pout on her lips. She slumped against you, shoving the cooler against Eddies legs to get closer. 

“Ow!” Yelled Eddie dramatically, rubbing his hand up and down his leg. He slid an arm around your shoulders to pull both you, the cooler and Robin closer to him. His hand carded through Robin's hair the way that he enjoyed with his.

Robin hummed in appreciation. 

You melted in the embrace of your two loves. Robin snuggled in as close as she could get to your chest, Eddie sandwiched between you and the cooler. It hadn’t always been this easy. 

Initially, Robin struggled with feeling a little like an outsider in your group. She was the only one who wasn’t sexually or romantically attracted to everyone in the group. It had been a little awkward at first, she wasn’t entirely sure how to slot herself in, but you all talked about boundaries and it was clear that between the two guys and her everything was purely platonic. 

Steve was her platonic soulmate, the solid rock by her side who always knew how to calm her down when she was getting into her head. Eddie on the other hand, brought out her wilder side.

You, Robin and Eddie, had become thick as thieves, always causing trouble much to Steve and Nancy’s chagrin. The two of them were the caretakers of the group, they loved you all so much and took care of you in their own ways. You all may not have had a traditional relationship, but it worked so much better than any relationships you had been in before. 

“Steve! Stop the car!” Robin blurted out. 

“Are you gonna be sick?” He exclaimed, “Please not on the seats,” He quickly pulled over. Your hand moved to soothingly rub at her back and Nancy spun to her, concern crowding her features. 

Robin scrambled out of the car. You followed out after her, ready to hold her hair back. 

Prepared to be met by a retching Robin you were shocked to see her bouncing on her toes, with a toothy grin. She was pointing at something and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at what you saw. 

There, in the middle of a rundown farm was the self-proclaimed ‘world's largest trumpet’. "Robin, what the fuck?” Steve exclaimed, adrenaline running through him at his sudden stop. 

“Please Steve we have to see it!” She begged, clasping her hands together. Suddenly it clicked in your mind as to why Robin had insisted on going to this particular campsite even though it was an extra hour away.

“Fine” He huffed, trying to hold back a smile. “15 minutes,” He warned, using his best dad voice, holding up his finger. 

His hands rubbed soothing circles into the bottom of your spine, his mouth pressing kisses to your cheeks. 

She squealed, her excitement met by Eddie who was racing her to get there first. Steve shook his head, watching the two idiots try to trip each other in the grass. “I swear...” He muttered, wrapping both his arms around your waist. “How is she running when she could barely move without threatening to hurl a second ago?" He questioned.

The two of you waited for Nancy who was rooting in the boot of the car for something. 

“Sore?” He questioned, feeling the way you keened into his touch and closed your eyes in relief. 

You nodded your head before burying your face in his neck. “My ass hurts” You mumbled, rubbing your nose against him. 

Steve snorted, moving his hands further down. Blocked by the car it seemed like you were hugging, rather than receiving an ass massage. You lifted your head, your chin moving to rest against his chest. You cupped his cheek, smiling as he leaned into your touch. “Are you sore?”

Steve shook his head and tugged you back into him again. You knew he was lying, there was no way his shoulders and back couldn’t be a little stiff. Your arms snaked up from around his waist to his shoulders. Your hands dug in trying to find a good rhythm and you were rewarded with Steve sighing contentedly when you did. 

“Got it!” said Nancy smiling in victory as she pulled out her camera. You pulled away from Steve with one last kiss and both of you linked hands with Nancy, one of you on either side. 

You slowly walked over to the other two, warming your legs back up. They were racing around the trumpet and waving their hands, yelling for the three of you to hurry up. When you finally reached them, they were out of breath from their excitement. 

Nancy insisted on taking photos in front of the trumpet, getting you all squished in together so she could take it and be in the photo too. 

“It’s over 104 feet long!” Robin explained once the photo shoot was over, “Isn’t that cool? And-” Her next fact was interrupted as a toot came from the trumpet in question. You all turned and saw a bashful-looking Eddie standing at the mouthpiece. “...it even works,” Robin finished, scowling at Eddie. 

“That’s disgusting!” Yelled Steve “Think about how many people's mouths have touched that.” Eddie only laughed, not taking Steve’s disgust seriously. 

“Yum,” 

Robin stuck her tongue out in disgust and Nancy had a similar response. You giggled, even more so when Eddie stuck his tongue back out at Robin. 

“I’m not kissing you after that,” Steve said and Eddie's childish glee diminished at once. 

“What! C’mon,” Eddie pouted. 

The pout on Eddie's face finally made Steve smile, “That’s what happens when you misbehave.” 

“Yeah Eddie, that's what happens when you misbehave.” You parroted, crossing your arms to mirror Steve's stance. 

“Oh yeah?’ He taunted. He launched himself at both you and steve, and the two of you dived out of the way just in time to avoid being knocked to the floor.

You then spent the next fifteen minutes running from Eddie as he chased everyone around and gave wet kisses to anyone he could catch. Your shrieks and giggles filled the air as you all ran around the field to avoid his sloppy kiss, until at last, you all returned, exhausted, to the car. 

Steve’s original 15-minute rule had gone forgotten, though he didn’t seem to mind. Hesat on the hood of his car with Eddie standing between his legs, pecking his lips over and over again. 

Nancy was rearranging the items in the back, trying to find a way to fit the cooler in the trunk and at least make it so you didn’t have something so heavy and cold digging into you for the rest of the ride. 

You ended up sitting on a sleeping bag rolled out over the back seat with a couple of blankets tossed over top. Robin was fast asleep, a balled-up jumper cushioning her head against the window.

Eddie was drooling on your shoulder, mumbling in his sleep. You weren’t far behind either, eyes blinking back open every time you caught yourself dozing off until at last you went slack.

Nancy grinned in contentment, telling steve each direction softly as not to wake you all up. 

They came to a stoplight and Steve used the moment it gave him to look back at his favourite people knocked out in the back. Nancy's hand covered his on the gear stick and he lifted it to his mouth for a sweet kiss. 

The mixtape switched over to the next song and Sweet Child O’Mine played quietly throughout the car. Eddie sang along in his sleep.

It was rare he felt content nowadays. He was always looking for danger after the horrors he had been through. Now he let himself relax.

masterlist

[respectthepetty]

The only one whose intentions I can't entirely understand is Nick. Like Boston is pretty harmless, he is just a hoe and a shitty friend. Mew is straight-laced and could be devilish, but pretends to be a kind of a saint to get away with things. Top is just a red flag, all around. Ray is broken in a way he himself doesn't understand and (falsely) projects loving Mew will resolve all his hurt. Sand is a walking green flag, at least so far. But Nick, I don't know, I can't tell if he's just starting out as a Machiavellian villain that'll do a double kill on both Boston and Top, or he is just obsessed with Boston to hurt him but keep Boston on a leash.

Anon, I'm gonna skip over you writing that "Boston is pretty harmless" so I can get to your ask - Nick.

In this series, Raymond is my #1, but Nicolas is my strong #2, and it's partially because they remind me of a good ass country song.

Think Brokeback Mountain's Jack Twist screaming his legendary line "I wish I knew how to quit you" because that shit is a good ass country song delivered in one line.

*switching into my west Texas accent*

Yes, I wrote "country song" in a post about Thai gays.

See, I love music. I have a large collection of vinyl records and CDs. I like going to music festivals and concerts. I love rap for its wordplay. I love ranchera for the dramatics ("El Rey" anyone?). And I love country for its storytelling.

So the second Nick called Top instead of Mew, I heard Dolly Parton's iconic "Jolene"

In case you are not familiar with the legend who is "Jolene," the song deals with a woman begging another woman to not take her man. This woman knows she cannot compete with Jolene. She knows she is not as beautiful or alluring, so she begs Jolene to let her man go, in hopes that he'll come back to her.

Hopefully, I won't be hearing Dolly Parton's other masterpiece "I Will Always Love You" (yes, the one that Whitney Houston covered for The Bodyguard).

And I always hear the incredible Patsy Cline's "Crazy" whenever Nick looks at Boston.

Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying And I'm crazy for loving you

Because even though Nick is matching Boston's "No Boundaries" energy, he isn't malicious, not yet anyway. No.

Nick is in love, with a guy who doesn't love him back.

And he knows that.

But knowing doesn't help when it comes to matters of the heart.

Other genres have songs that capture the feeling of losing your mind over someone who doesn't love you and being incapable of stopping, but a good ass country song just really hits at the core of that kind of toxic love.

Like Dan + Shay's "How Not To" which tells the story of a man who knows that his lover is no good, but doesn't know how not to love them.

So I read Nick as a boy in desperate love with the wrong man. He is Rascal Flatts "What Hurts the Most" when the lead singers croons that the worst part of his love was "not seeing that love in you."

And that type of love makes you do crazy shit.

Boston was honest in the beginning that he didn't want anything serious, and even though he has changed his tune when needed, everyone else has warned Nick as well about Boston.

Nick knew who walked into his store the second he looked into Boston's eyes.

Yet he couldn't stop himself from falling in love.

If Oh No! Here Comes Trouble taught me anything, it's that love can be an obsession mostly when grieving love, and Nick has to be grieving the love he knows he will never get from Boston while still loving him.

So this is why Nicolas is my #2. He is a good ass country song about a man who hopes that his love will make his lover stay, only to realize that his love isn't enough and probably never will be.

And before any of you ask, Ray is the drinking side of good country songs, but he and Sand in particular are "Tennessee Whiskey"

I've looked for love in all the same old places Found the bottom of a bottle's always dry But when you poured out your heart, I didn't waste it 'Cause there's nothing like your love to get me high You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweet as strawberry wine You're as warm as a glass of brandy

So raise your bottle to Nick's pain.

And slow dance under some hicktown's bar lights.

Because like my girl Bonnie Raitt sang " I will give up this fight 'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't" (yeah, that famous song George Michael covered).

[hypnofur1]

The Thanksgiving Problem

By Hypnofur

I laughed when I got the picture from my wife on my phone. I texted back, asking her who took it, as it was a picture of her and her friend Paulina strolling down the street together. It was clear that someone had taken it for them, as it wasn’t a selfie.

My wife Alison texted back that Paulina had some girl on the street take it for her. She said that she liked the pictures she posted to look ‘authentic’, and that meant ‘candid’ shots taken by someone else, not selfie. Had I been with Alison, I would have gone on a rant about how not only did this picture not look authentic, but there was nothing authentic about Paulina at all. I hadn’t been a fan since college, and Alison knew that. However, that rant was a lot to type, so I just let it go, and instead asked Alison if she had forgotten her coat.

She texted back that indeed she did, as she had been in Houston too long, and totally forgot that Chicago would be cold in late November. Paulina let her borrow one of her little fur jackets. Despite that, the two of them still looked so different in this picture. Paulina also had a little fur jacket on, but with leather pants and leather boots. Her hair and make up was done to perfection, and she had a “I’m not even aware my photo is being taken” look on her face that she had clearly practiced many times.

Alison, in contrast, was in jeans and sneakers and looked out of place in a fur jacket. She looked right at the camera and laughed, likely a bit embarrassed about how silly it all was. As had been the case since college, despite all of Paulina’s glam, Alison was just prettier. Her looks were natural. I had pointed out many times that she was the prettier of the two, but she never believed it. She just thought it was the husband in me talking.

What the husband in me was actually doing was killing time “babysitting” the kids. Yes, I know it is not actually babysitting if they kids are your own. But, whatever, there was one of me and two of them and they were energetic as all hell. I was actually at the trampoline park at the time of this exchange.

I was annoyed that Alison had to fly to Chicago on the weekend before Thanksgiving to be with Paulina to help her though her (latest) divorce. With that said, the original ‘ask’ was for Alison to come spend the actual Thanksgiving in Chicago with her. We were hosting this year, so luckily that was out right from the get go. So, when that didn’t pan out, the weekend before Thanksgiving was the consolation. It was only really for a night, since there was a Saturday morning flight out, and a Sunday night flight back.

Alison kept texting me though out the evening. Telling me about the fancy restaurant, etc. Paulina was loaded. I was trying to keep up with the texts, but I had baths, dinner, bed times, etc. It was busy, and I was exhausted. Again, I know I shouldn’t admit that taking care of my own kids by myself for one day was exhausting, but damn… it was. I conked out on the couch shortly after getting them to sleep.

I awoke at close to 5am. I decided I would head up to my actual bed, as the kids typically woke up around 7. I checked my phone, and saw a ton of texts and a few emails from Alison.

The first few were about a group of guys they met while out. Alison said they were the typical dumb 40 somethings out on the town. Probably all divorcees. Then she wrote how Paulina was eating up the attention. No surprise there, that was her typical behavior. Then again, I would think most women going through a divorce would try to get some attention to feel better for a little bit. No biggie.

I scanned through a bunch of the other texts, they were mostly describing the dudes. I imagined Alison was more comfortable looking at her phone than talking to these guys, so the play by play made sense to me.

She started talking about how this one guy named Joe was a hypnotist. Pretty soon, most of the texts and play by play became about that.

She texted how Paulina was teasing him, and there was going to be a demonstration right there at the bar.

The next text seemed to be fifteen or so minutes later. Alison said that she couldn’t believe it, but Paulina was actually hypnotized. Apparently, she thought she was a cat, and climbed up into Joe’s lap.

I would have actually loved to have seen that. It would have been fun to see Ms. SuperCool Paulina do something embarrassing with a nerdy dude. Fortunately, a picture of her on the guy’s lap was next. Damn, she was really on him. This was crazy.

A few minutes later, there was a text that said, heading back to Paulina’s, and a complaint that the hypnotist guy got Paulina to invite them all back. I could tell that despite the fact that this text was now like 6 hours old, Alison was nervous. This wasn’t her scene. I didn’t like it either. She (we) didn’t know these guys. What if one of them was an axe murderer or something?

The next text was like an hour later. Paulina had taken her phone, and at least announced herself via text, so I knew who was typing. She asked if I wanted to see my wife get hypnotized. It was a rhetorical question, not only because it was asked hours ago, but also because it was immediately followed by a link.

I looked at the text of the link. It appeared to be some type of dark web youtube for people that were into hypnosis in a sexy way? Hypno-fetishists, I guess? My stomach flip flopped as I realized that this Joe guy must be some sort of hypno porn producer or something. Oh fuck.

However, this was my wife, and I had to figure out what kind of danger she (and we) were in, so I had no choice but to click the link.

In the video, Alison was standing in Paulina’s kitchen. She didn’t look comfortable. She still had Paulina’s fur jacket on, as if she was going to leave at any moment. Now, I knew that she was staying at Paulina’s condo, so she really didn’t have anywhere else to go, but she was clearly trying to give off a closed vibe. Two other guys were just standing there, and the Joe guy came up to her. I assumed the third guy was now holding the camera. Meanwhile, Paulina was just standing there, staring at this little, fat, Joe dude like he was the most interesting man in the world. This all looked so unsafe.

I became wracked with guilt. How could I have fallen asleep? I should have been texting with her. I should have been there to keep her safe!

“Well, Alison,” Joe said. “Earlier, at the bar, you seemed to think this was all nonsense. I’ve got to ask, do you believe in hypnosis now, after seeing your friend fall under my spell?”

“Maybe,” Alison said. “I guess, on the right person. On someone like Paulina at least.” She said. I know she never thought of Paulina as being that bright. I agreed with that assessment.

“That’s true, that’s true,” Joe said, nodding. “Though I would argue that more people are actually in that ‘right person to be hypnotized’ group than one would think”

Alison shrugged. She looked like she so desperately did not want to be there.

“And you don’t think you are one of those people, I’m guessing. You know, from your body language and stuff” Joe asked.

“I have to travel tomorrow. I think we should wrap all of this up. Don’t you Paulina?,” Alison said to her friend.

“Paulina wants me to stay. She wants to see if you can be hypnotized. Paulina, tell her that.” Joe interrupted, without breaking his gaze on Alison.

“I want him to stay. You should try to be hypnotized Al” Paulina said, similarly not breaking her gaze on Joe.

“See? We are all friends here Alison. I’d like to be your friend. Here,” Joe said, extending his hand. “Let’s shake on it.”

Warily, Alison took his hand and he shook it, up and down, slower than a casual handshake, rhythmic, like an undulating wave through her whole arm. She clearly wasn’t sure if she should pull it away or not.

“Just follow my lead and relax,” Joe said. “Focus on the swaying sensation. Pretend it’s a soothing wave. Like laying back in a waterbed. Feeling the sensation all around you, and letting it move your body. Very good.

“As I raise and lower your arm, I want you just to focus your eyes on me. If you don’t know where to look, that’s okay. Most people look at my eyes. They say they’re sky-blue. Or like sapphires. Focus on the blue in my eyes.

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Joe said, his voice deepening into a soothing tone. “All you have to do is relax and focus on my eyes. On the sensation of drifting with the waves. You may notice by now that as you continue to look into my eyes, there is a heavy, drowsy feeling occurring in your eyes. Like staying up all night and trying to keep them open the next day. So difficult to do.

“In fact, each time I raise your arm upward, like this,” Joe said, as he raised her arm, before lowering it. “That heaviness in your eyes will become stronger. That’s fine. That means you’re doing it right and everything’s okay.”

I watched my phone as Alison’s eyes hooded, closing more with each time her arm rose.This can’t really be working, I thought as I watched the video from a couple hours ago.

“As your eyes begin to close,” Joe continued. “You feel the desire to let them close get stronger. It’s perfectly safe. Like slipping into a warm bed after a long, hard day’s work. All your body wants to do is relax and drift. Your eyes are closing all the way now. You want this relaxation. You feel it, warm and heavy, floating through your body. Feel it happening, Alison.”

Joe pulled on my wife’s hand, making her fall into him, head pressed against his shoulder. I couldn’t believe she was that… close… to a stranger.

Then Joe whispered into her ear, as I turned up the volume on my phone to max, desperate to hear what he was telling her. I couldn’t get anything though. Then, he put his hands on her shoulders and placed her in a standing position, like a limp doll. She stood straight, her hands at her sides, head down, and eyes closed.

“My friends,” Joe announced to the guys in the room, and to a degree, Paulina. “Our new friend Alison is now in a deep hypnotic trance.”

I was absolutely scared shitless. I had no fucking clue what I should do.

On the video, Joe stood close to Alison, whispering deep into her ear, and his hands wrapping her lower waist. “Alison,” he said, the microphone picking him up again, “You are deeply hypnotized right now. It feels absolutely wonderful. You’ve never felt better in your life. So relaxed, so happy. You’re in a safe place and trust me completely. In fact, you can only hear my voice.

“And because you trust me completely, you know it’s safe to believe everything that I tell you. You follow all of my instructions without question. You are completely under my hypnotic control, and you are no longer in control. Do you understand? If so, repeat it back to me now.”

“I am no longer in control,” my wife said to this stranger.

“Very good,” Joe said. “And it feels amazing. Better than anything you can remember. You love this feeling more than anything, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Alison said enthusiastically.

I saw Joe the asshole glance over at his buddies with a mischievous look. That video ended there. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I frantically went to the next text in the chain. This time I could tell it was Alison texting and not Paulina. She told me how she tried smoking ‘Hypno Weed’ and she loved it. There was also a quick clip of her holding a regular Aquafina water bottle that she must have been told was some kind of bong. Fuck. That was the last text, and this sure as hell wasn’t heading to a good place.

Now frantic, I tried calling several times before I received a text saying that was clearly from Joe. He callously told me how beautiful my wife was and what a lucky guy I am. He then asked if I had watched all of the linked videos.

Shit! What did this fucker do?

I quickly went into my email and clicked the first link; Alison was lying on her back naked and the phone was zoomed in on her, she had a huge smile on her face as she was getting fingered and moaning really loud. Alison then asked Joe to “put your cock back in my mouth please.” I couldn’t fucking believe it.

He quickly spun up next to her and started feeling her tits with one hand while videoing her naked body, my wife then reached out to his cock and started to jerk him off saying “I love your cock Master Chicago HypnoJoe”…

30 seconds went by before she took his cock in her mouth. He started to moan as she blew him, this lasted about two minutes before she pulled his dick out and licked it bottom to top. While he was fingering her pussy, I heard him say “who do you belong to?”

"I belong to you, Master Chicago HypnoJoe" she moaned loudly. My heart broke.

Alison played with his dick for about a full minute while he touched her all over and she moaned, grunted and started begging “Fuck me, fuck me please!” In all our years together, she had never, ever been that needy for sex. It was almost unfathomable to me. Seeing her so… wanton… affected me, I’m ashamed to say.

I realized I had started playing with my own incredibly rock hard dick, but to state I was pissed and shocked is an understatement. I could not believe what I was seeing after 12 years together, was this the mother of my children? The girl I loved dearly, so deeply under this creep’s hypnotic control? The video went black.

As sweat dripped down my brow, I clicked to the next video and Alison was on all fours as he was giving it to her from behind, her ass cheeks were spread wide open and sticking up in the air. I heard her begging for it harder, telling him to go deeper and faster. He was grunting that he was about to cum.

Alison started moaning back at him that she wanted to taste him. Out of breath, he told her to get on her knees. She quickly rolled off his cock and spun to the side of the bed, he dropped the phone and I heard moans as the video ended.

The next video again had my precious wife on her knees as Joe was sitting on the bed. I heard female moans from the person holding the iphone, and I realized it must have been Paulina. Alison was blowing Joe while he held the back of her head, she was sucking, licking, moaning and begging for more of his “hypno cock”.

I heard her mutter “I wanna taste your cum again”. He was shifting side to the side as she was clearly taking him deep, using her tongue like a pro and working towards a climax. That’s when I realized this must have been a fair amount of time after the previous video. Enough for fucking Joe to be able to get hard again.

I'm lucky to get one blow job a year, but here she was begging for him to cum in her mouth for a second time in one night! Soon I watched as she appeared to swallow his cum and he fell back, in orgasmic bliss as she worshipfully cleaned his cock.

When that video ended, I realized I had to hope and pray that this doesn't end up on some amateur porn website. But from the looks of his Chicago HypnoJoe site, things did not bode well. We are well known in our suburban community here. It could be really bad if this got out.

The fourth video was aimed at the two of them as Alison bounced up and down on top of him, they were embraced in a chair kissing passionately as she rode him. They went hard and fast for a few minutes before she started to orgasm, she let out some of the loudest cries of pleasure I have ever heard.

I texted back some swears to Joe, telling him I was going to the police. He texted back, and I could just tell he was laughing at me. He was rather confident that I would not go to the police.

He then texted me a picture of Alison using the Aquafina water bottle as a bong again. A text followed that she ‘looooves’ hitting the hypno weed.

I responded with more swears. They didn’t seem to rattle him. He just told me that she wouldn’t miss her plane, but for me to expect responses to be very limited until she arrives back in Houston. He was right, as that was the last text I got from her all day.

I was freaking out all day. I dealt with the kids, etc, but I was losing my shit internally. We were waiting at Hobby International airport at 8:30 as planned. That’s when I finally got another text.

She just said that she had landed, and she couldn’t wait to see us. Then she gave information about what departure door she’d be at so we could pick her up. She got in the car, so happy to see the kids. She gave me a warm kiss and thanked me for taking care of everything over the weekend. It all seemed so… regular.

She was talking to the kids the whole ride home. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I began to wonder if she even knew what happened. Could the hypnotist have made her forget? Not impossible.

We put the kids to bed as soon as we got in, as it was pretty late for them. She then said she wanted to hop in the shower real quick. I always do that when I get off a plane, so that made perfect sense to me. I sat on the bed while she was in there. Images of what I saw her doing flashed through my mind. I hated them so much, but they were hot. Her begging to be fucked, etc. I couldn’t help but get lost in those thoughts, and hard.

I didn’t even hear her get out of the shower. When she did, she saw my hand on my dick.

“Were you looking at porn while I was gone?” she half joked and half admonished. I jumped when she said that, as she startled me.

“I-I, well, I” I stumbled. In some ways, I had been watching porn. By this point though, I was convinced she knew nothing of it. I just admitted to watching some ‘conventional’ porn.

“Mmmmm. Well, I’m not mad. You did a great job with the kids while I was gone. You deserve a little dalliance…” she said as she squirted some moisturizer on her hand. She then came next to me, freed my dick from my pants and started giving me a handjob.

“Why don’t you tell me about what you were watching?” she said, likely assuming it was girl on girl or something. I didn’t speak. Her hand on my dick felt really good. Of course, it wasn’t lost on my that I was getting a hand job, and she was begging for Chicago HypnoJoe’s dick 24 hours earlier.

“Did you ever imagine me doing some of the things that you were watching?” She said sexily. Again, she was completely oblivious to the truth. However, that question did me in, and I came hard. My cum shot straight up in the air. She gave a little yelp and dodged it like it was lava.

With that, I fell asleep, hard. I had been on such an emotional roller coaster over the last 18 hours. So, I’m ashamed to admit, this, but I didn’t do anything about this situation for the next three days. This is partly because they were three very busy days. We were hosting Thanksgiving, and Alison had lost the weekend to visiting Paulina. So, as the hostesss, she was behind the eight ball all week. I helped where I could, but that was largely just getting pizza for dinner. The other reason I avoided it was because I had no fucking clue what to do. I had no idea if she had any idea about this. If she did – how do I handle that? If she didn’t – would it cause some sort of trauma? I was at a loss.

Soon enough, it was Thanksgiving. My brother and his wife were over, as were her parents and her brother’s family. As always, Alison pulled it off and everything was perfect. She is an incredible wife, mother, and hostess. She did amazing job.

I had just finished carving the turkey, and we were just a few minutes into eating when the doorbell rang. As all of our scheduled guests had arrived, I had no idea who it could be. I got up to answer the door, and there was a small, private courier van in the drive way. This was not UPS or FedEx, this was a specially hired courier. I opened the door, a guy gave me a beautifully wrapped, very big square box with a tag that said, from Paulina with love. FUCK. I signed for the package to get the guy out of here, but I knew I had to get rid of this box. I figured if I could dash up to the attic, I could hide it there until Alison went to sleep. I turned to make my play… and she was right behind me.

“What’s that?” She said, taking the box out of my hand. I had no idea how she was going to react. She looked at the tag, she gave me a quizzical look. I could tell she had no idea what it was as she brought it to the kitchen counter, which was still cluttered with supplies from our Thanksgiving feast, which was now getting cold in the other room.

She quikly unwrapped the bow on the box and opened the lid. Inside, there was a big, stuffed animal turkey, and what could only be described as a ‘sexy pilgrim costume’.

“What the fuck is that?” I yell whispered. I didn’t want to attract attention from our guests, but still… what the fuck was that?

Alison held it up. There was a bonnet, and a dark brown velvet corset with a big, white cotton collar. There were brown knee high velvet boots in there too. There was a note from Paulina inside, “for some sexy fun later xoxxo”

Alison laughed. “She’s crazy – you know that” she said to me with a smile. “Maybe she thinks you have a Pilgrim fetish?” she laughed.

“Alison darling, can you be a dear…” my Mother in law called out from the dining room. It was like the woman had a sixth sense of when to best interrupt. Alison gave me a wink and went back into the dinning room. I followed, but only after putting the costume back in the box and tying the lid back on. We didn’t need her father or someone seeing that, thank you very much. We finished dinner, which was fantastic. I had a couple beers, and was soon watching the Lions with the guys. I actually forgot about the weirdo stuff going on for a while.

Early in the fourth quarter, I went to go grab another round of beers. The ladies were still in the dining room, well, all the ladies except Alison. I looked in the kitchen, and she wasn’t in there either. I glanced over to the bathroom, and the door was open, no one was in there. That was odd. I asked where she was.

“I don’t know. She got a phone call on her cellular telephone, then she just up and walked away. Rather rude. Not how I raised her.” Her mother said.

Fuck.

I doubled back into the kitchen, the box was gone. I started to panic, I ran into the bedroom. Inside, Alison was kneeling on the edge of the bed wearing the sexy pilgrim costume, with the big stuffed animal turkey between her legs. Across from her, on our bureau was her phone, she was recording herself.

“I am deeply hypnotized by Chicago HypnoJoe” she said, over and over again as she rhythmically grinded on the stuffed turkey. Her breathing got more ragged as she got more and more turned on. My own breathing was very labored as well, as I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I couldn’t believe it. I was also getting hard.

“Alison, you are ignoring your guests, this is very rude!” I heard her mother yell. In what was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life, I closed the door and went back down to distract her mom.

Alison came out about 25 minutes later, and she was just chatting with the ladies as if nothing had happened.

When everyone left that night, I looked up Chicago HypnoJoe’s website. Sure enough, new offering on his pay side. There was a promo video of Hypnotized Thanksgiving MILFs. I saw a quick teaser clip of Alison in the Pilgrim Costume grinding on the turkey on our bed. Next to her on a split screen was Paulina in a sexy (albeit culturally inappropriate) Native American costume doing the same thing, also saying “I am deeply hypnotized by Chicago HypnoJoe” while grinding on a stuffed turkey.

Oh Shit. (But yes, I put in my credit card)