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lilysdaydreams · 4 years

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Chocolates

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X plussize!Reader

→ Request: hello i love you and your writing (firstly) i was wondering if you could write a corpse husband xfem reader who is plus size? i havent seen any of those lol but maybe she gets hate over it and wants to start eating better and working out with him?? you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!!

→ Warnings: chubby reader, insecure!reader, Body Image issues !!! Swearing, Descriptions of Readers feeling really sad about their body + online hate comments on readers body.

→ A/N: Idk what happened with this. This past week has been hard and I've been really tired but I forced myself to write something. I dont really think its goof but I hope the person who requested it likes it :(((

~~~

You fell into bed, wrapping the blanket around you and rolling over onto your side. Work had been hard today, your manager getting mad at the smallest of things. You could hear Corpse in his streaming room, talking to the viewers. You and Corpse had been together for 2 years now, and both of you had finally decided you were ready to reveal your relationship to his fans. First, you'd simply joined him on stream, talking at some points. Then a few weeks later, he'd posted a photo of him holding your hand and tagged you in it.

Your followers had gone from your 450 friends to 53 000 strangers. And that was only on the first day. You hadn't been on Instagram for a whole week, too overwhelmed about all the attention. It was a Friday today though, so you decided you might as well.

You opened up Instagram and clicked on your profile, eyes widening as you saw the 500k written above followers.

"Five hundred thousand?" You whispered to yourself, not even being able to comprehend the number. Like sure, if you compared it to Corpses 2 million, it seemed small, but it's not as if you did anything! What reason would they have to follow you? You only had two photos posted as well, an outfit photo from your sister's weddings, and one of you drinking a bubble tea.

Quickly clicking on the bubble tea picture, you opened up the comments smiling when the first comment that caught your eye was "Woah shes so pretty." You scroll slowly, your smile growing bigger at all the love that Corpses fans gave you.

"SHES GORGEOUS"

"QUEEN WHAT THE HELL STEP ON ME"

The amount of "CHOKE ME" comments were hilarious.

You chuckled at a few and scrolled again, reading another one.

"Why did he have to pick a fat girl?"

For a second, your heart completely stopped.

"What the fuck," you muttered.

You quickly clicked on the replies, wanting to see what others had to say. There were people defending you and arguing with the user, and there were others who agreed with them.

“Yes omg do you se ever stomach? Ugh how can Corpse stand staring at that the whole day?”

“Bruh her legs 😂😂”

You sucked in a breath.

You’d never been thin, always a bit chubby and with a bit of stomach fat. You’d been very insecure in high school, always wearing baggy clothes to hide your body, but who hadn’t felt that way in high school. After it though, you’d been okay. You felt happy and Corpse always let you know that he loved your body just the way you were. You were pretty confident normally. Today though... today it felt like all of that confidence has crumbled. You kept scrolling focusing on all the comments that talked about your weight.

Throwing the phone on the bed, you got up and moved to the mirror you have in your room. Grabbing the cloth draped over it, you pulled it off, looking at yourself in the mirror. You can see every flaw the comments talked about. You can see your double chin, your huge stomach, your big thighs. You held your arms up, wincing when you see the fat on them. Your probably looked so bad when you waved bye to someone. Tears now gathering in your eyes, you moved the cloth back over the mirror and then went back to bed, using the pillow to muffle your sobs.

You knew you were being a bit stupid. Random people on the internet and their opinions shouldn’t matter to you. But for some reason, the words had really gotten to you, and all you wanted to do was cry.

A few minutes later, you heard the door open, and knowing it was Corpse, you pushed your head into the pillow even more, not wanting him to look at you like this.

“Babe,” he whispered, coming over and patting you on your back.

“Baby,” he repeated when you refused to say anything and that he could hear was your sniffling. “You okay?”

You sobbed in response and he let out a “Oh” and then pulled you away from the pillow.

You looked down, refusing to look at him because you would look like an absolute mess.

“God I look so bad right now, he’s gonna see me and realise how big of a fat mess I am and leave me,” you thought.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong?” He asked again grabbing you in a hug.

“Was it work?” He asked when you didn’t answer. “or did your mom call again?"

When you stayed silent, he let out a sigh and let you go, getting up from the bed.

You immediately looked up, and asked “Where are you going?" because for a second you felt like it was true. Maybe Corpse was leaving you because of how disgusting you were.

He looked down at you, startled by your sudden question. "Just to get some chocolate and a blanket."

"No." you said voice shaking a bit from the crying, "I don't want chocolate."

"What babe, what the fuck?" He said softly, dropping back down next to you. "Baby what's going on, just tell me, I can't do anything if you can't tell me."

"You-You know your fans? They're amazing, right?" you finally said, hesitating a little.

"It's just, I checked some comments on one of Instagram posts and there's so many where they're just talking about how fat I am, or how big my stomach is, or how ugly I look," you said, your voice lowering to a whisper at the end.

A beat of silence and then;

"Oh baby noooo," Corpse whispers, grabbing you and pulling you into a hug.

You cant stop the tears from leaking out of your eyes and you bury your head into his shoulder. His hoodie smells like the bodywash he uses, making you calmer in a second.

"Sweetheart, you are absolutely beautiful," he begins, whispering into your ear. "Did you know that when I first saw you, I couldn't even speak? Like I legitimately felt like my mouth had been glued together, I couldn't form any words."

Heat rose to your cheeks as he continued on.

"You were like an angel, literally glowing, and guess what, I still feel like that whenever I see you now. When you come back home and you're wearing that huge hoodie and you just have the hood pulled up because its cold and the little pout on your face, guess what you look fucking gorgeous to me like that. And when you're in our bed, wearing shorts and a crop top with your hair in a bun waiting for me to make popcorn so we can watch a movie, god you look like an angel then okay?"

"Oh ah, when you're on your period, and seriously bloated and eating all the food, you fucking look beautiful to me then as well. Your tummy- Your tummy makes me so happy like look at this soft little baby. And guess what? I fucking LIVE for your thighs and you know that baby, like I will die for them okay? Your ass- well, we both know what I feel about that so I won't say anything." He ended with a chuckle.

You moved back a little, and he grabbed your face and rested his forehead on yours.

Taking a deep breath, he started whispering, eyes locked onto yours.

"Every single part of you is perfect. And I love it. I find you so sexy that I literally cannot breathe sometimes because of your presence. You're amazing and I fucking love you. What those people say on the internet, why the fuck does it matter huh? They obviously can't recognize the absolute fox in front of their faces."

Slowly he wiped the tears from your face, and returned the watery smile that you gave him.

"Chocolates?" he asked, still whispering.

You nodded your head, giggling as he ran to get them.

fin.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #fluff #angst #read warnings #plus size #plsusize!reader

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genius11rare · 3 years

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Chit Chat 72821 AH 13 year anniversary

Chit Chat 13 year anniversary stream 72821 with Jack Michael Jeremy and voices of Geoff , lindsay , sudden matt and Ky

Jack: welcome to our birthday stream , sponsored by expressvpn if you don't have a vpn why don't yo- and i already lost all my frames…. Its our 13th bday we are no long preteens we are teens (someone , i assume michael uses airhorn sfx) Jack: hang on i got one (sarah no sfx x7) , we also got voices of geoff , alfredo is here , weve got Ky Deafened (jeremy wheezzes) and lindsay possibly and see trevor too… ok lindblad im switchin to firefox this is broken. Geoff: earlier we had our company wide All Hands meeting talking about whats going on… i don't expect you guys to go (jeremy uh oh) but i go cuz i care , trevor gave a speech about AH history and it was great , better than i couldve done so thanks trevor. Michael: wish i had boos and Hisses on my soundboard but i don't. Jack: todays also my wifes birthday so… im actually not supposed to be here today so *laughs* thanks to everyone whos supported over the last 13 years… Ky qwasnt even born yet (Michael: and she already made that joke) i know i said that in hope to get her to respond but shes deafeand. Michael: but that's how Deafen works… Jeremy: no shes like a jedi she would feel the joke. GeoffL di you get your internet fixed this week which then broke it 2 more times (jack: no , sounds like you tho) oh i guess that's just me then. Jack: geoff you hit record? Geoff: you know i didn't! *showing lucky 13 merch , at a poker table* Jack: so now that were 13 we can gamble. Geoff: 13 is legal gambling age in some counties of west virginia and mississippi Jeremy: and we should ALL model ourselves after those 2 states. Jack: the beacons of america. Michael: if you can see over the poker table you can play Jeremy: well guess im out Geoff: hes 5’4! Lindsay: are we sure about that? GeoffL some of us are , some of us have never not been sure . *moves onto Camp Betrayal* Geoff: out of curiosity who were your fave non AH on that shoot Alfrdo: ooohh calen (i think?) was a lot of fun but Noel surprised me the most. Michael: Kayla was fun cuz it was 3 overnite shoots so we actually somewhat hiung out… also charlotte (jack jeremy and lindsay: yeah charlotte was cool) Jeremy: is this a camp betrayal thing or a face jam thing , everytime i see someone post a pic of Eric everyone in the comments tell him to eat dirt. Michael: its camp betrayal Geoff: speaking of eating dirt were you ever the kids that ate worms for like a trick or to be brave (jack michael and jeremy: no) i wasn't either but… i feel like Matt Bragg probably did Matt: hey you're wrong *lindblad switches to a zoomed in photo of matt from the earlier lucky 13 merch drop shoot , starts shaking camera as he talks a bit* Jeremy: nice lindblad Matt: -et fucked geoff ! “are AH crew fans of cake or pie for bday?” Jack: who eats birthday PIE?!?! Ky: im just gonna step in , what about Ice cream cake (paraphrasing)... Geoff: …. I had cotton candy for dinner last night… whole kerfuffle getting it at HEB , grabbed it and the whole display fell on my head “Whose standup in austin have you seen and whos fave?” Jack: i havent seen stand up in a long time… last time i saw a routine of some kind was Penn n Teller in vegas 4 or 5 years ago. GeoffL i just saw Tom Seguarra (idk how to spell) in vegas a bit ago , and he moved to austin recently… *moves on to Season Pass* Geoff: talked about how i lost millie at that park once… tune in to find out if i found her. Michael: oh replaced her like Avril Lavigne? Geoff: yeah an almos identical millie… doesnt sound the same when she sings but its close….. Michael: and that's the one question… “Phoenix Edit: what has been proudest moment at AH?” JAck: doing any live show like selling out chicago… Michael: just hanging on i mean… Ky ill jump in (jack: whats your proudest moment at AH) you mean for the last month you mean? (Michael: yeah you have it alot easier) id say representing AH in last laugh season 2 Jack: you got knocked out like immediately though Geoff: can i give a sappy geoff answer? Its the day i invited you guys to my GFs house and we went swimming (michael: oh that was cool - i wasn't there) it was basically a perfect day , everybody - well almost everybody that mattered was there (michael laughs) and THAT day was when i told Jack and Trevor i was leaving AH . those conversations were really hard to have .. and i ws so comforted by how.... Oh idk *sigh* i just - i - i just how good a hands i felt it was in and you guys seemed so ready, and i knew it was going to continue and grow without me… sorry im getting so emotional in my old age, i yelled to much when i was younger. Michael: its weird to geoff cuz i couldnt make it and you went “oh no big deal, nothings going on anyway” and then trevor told me after wards geoffs leaving , and trevor kept saying “ive been waiting for this day ive ben waiting for this day” Geoff: he hi5 me before i even got it out of my mouth….. He fist bumped himself it was weird… Trevor: yeah did that and said “God took ya long enough” *cue airhorns and sarah nos* Jeremy:… alright let's play golf Jack: thanks for showing support from our live shows to our.. Our… idk the shows weve done *laughs* Geoff: GET IT OUT CMON! (Lindsay: GDI *jeremy and matt laughing* ) Jesus Christ! Jack: i had weird place , hardcore minigolf i got all them stuck in my head and couldnt get out the door

#chit chat #notes #text #ah #achievement hunter #anniversary #13 anniversary #july 2021 #idk what else to tag #for later #geoff ramsey #livestream #my notes #gen notes

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nekowriteshaikyuu · 4 years

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paper airplane

if you need to talk, i’m always here.

pairing : sugawara x reader

a/n : OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. I know i’m exaggerating but thank you so much for 100 notes on my previous post couple’s necklace !! i woke up and i just- i freaking flipped. thank you so much X33. i refuse to do any homework because- i don’t want to huhhuhuhu. but yeah,,,enjoy some wholesome hc with sugamama >w<

disclaimer again: you know the drill. but yeah apologies again if it don’t match ze chawacterr.

---------<3

you were in despair. you felt empty, hurt, unwanted when your 1 year relationship with the boy you most certainly adore left you for someone else. you stared at the picture frame of the both of you together, smiling, holding each other’s hands happily. how could he ?

you wiped your tears and looked out the window that was just infront of your desk. You looked at the opposite building which was blocking the sky. you sighed and just as you were about to leave your desk to grab a glass of water. a paper airplane flew through your window.

you looked out your window only to realised all the other windows are closed and you lived at quite a high level so there’s no way someone threw it from below.

You were about to throw it away when you saw some blank ink on it. you unfolded the paper airplane up

‘are you okay?’ was written bodly in blank in. you looked at the bottom of the paper and saw what it seems like a phone number.

‘you can always talk to me:)’

you were feeling a little skeptical, thinking it’s just some perverted man trying to get laid or something. but nonetheless you pulled out your phone, dialing the number in with a contact name “paper airplane thrower” what a name lmao

it took a few hours before you had the guts to text this person.

‘hi,,,i caught your paper airplane.’ you threw your phone on the bed, thinking this person would never answer. Maybe they forgot? Maybe it was an accident? or a dare? either way, you just walked around your room, admiring all the small decorations that were scattered everywhere in your room. It wasn’t long enough before you heard your phone dinged. For some reason you rushed to your phone, unlocking it and saw that the unknown user replied back

‘hey !! sorry if you’re weirded out, i just saw you crying and i was kind of worried. though we are complete strangers. anyways, i’m sugawara btw !’ you both chatted for the whole day, getting to know each other more. his choice of words always brings you a smile. ‘don’t worry’, ‘that’s awesome !’, ‘you’re so cool!’, ‘heheh’, all these simple texts just gives you the most widest smile ever.

This goes on for days to weeks. Somehow, you both had never gone a day without texting each other ever since the incident. Texts turn into voice messages, and soon to calls. Both of you were on the phone for hours. and if ever one of you fall asleep, you’d just continue the call, listening to the soft snores or the bed rustling.

If ever something happen during school, you’d always come home and straight away give him a call which he would immediately answer. you can never have a day without hearing from him. you really love his presence, his voice, his laugh,,,maybe,,him too.

one day you felt like visiting him. After school you decided to take a trip to his school, karasuno. It’s gonna be a journey for you to find him with just the recognition of his voice since he never send you a photo of himself or even switch on his camera. You were abit scared if ever he’s catfishing or a creep impersonating as a teenager.

he mentioned he had volleyball practice so you spent some time in a cafe, recollecting your thoughts and building the courage to actually meet him in person. After a while, you headed of to his school

Your slowly entered, afraid someone might caught you. But you manage to make your way in and find the volleyball gym when you heard the sounds of volleyballs bouncing off the ground. You slowly walked to the gym and immediately felt the chills.

You kind of lost confidence so you decided to just head back home and wait till he contacts you. But before you could even take a step, you heard the creak of the metal door slide and a bunch of boys came walking out. You flinched and your presence brought attention to all the boys.

“uh- sorry, are you lost? you don’t seem like you school here” a tall guy with a man bun and a small beard asked. He looked so intimidating. you backed away slowly, giving a weak smile

“ah ! s-sorry ! i uh, have to go” but even before you could bail from the boys, a hand caught you and pulled you in. You squeeled and shut your eyes close, afraid of what’s going to happen next.

“y/n?” his voice...it’s so heart-warming. something you’ve yearn for the whole day. you looked up to see the boy with soft, gray hair and clear, glossy eyes.

“what are you doing here? hehe, silly. miss me that much?” he gave a warm smile. somehow it felt like the same smile you could fell when calling sugawara, even without seeing it once. it’s him. it really is him.

“suga...” you gave him a warm, tight hug which shocked the boys from behind. He slowly placed one of his hands behind your back, while the other slowly carress your head.

“there, there, i didn’t know you’d be visitng me ! this is a huge surprise” you pulled the hug away to see his smile pasted on his face again. your heart have never beated so fast before, faster than when you were with your past lover. something about him just makes you skip a beat all the time.

he turned to see his teammates in awe.

“ah, right. guys! meet y/n ! i met her- uhh,,uhmm-”

“by a paper airplane he threw through my window when i was crying over an ex.” you continued which made him slightly embarressed, rubbing his nape.

“....”

“aah! you’re the girl suga keeps talking about!” the boy with a strand on blonde hair at the front spoke, he began to lift his brows as he slowly turn to suga

“uh who?” the oranged haired asked

“the girl.”

“...AAH! YOU’RE SUGA’S LONG TIME CRU-”

“hehe, y/n! do you mine waiting me by the gate? we’ll go home together.” he covered the mouth of the oranged haired boy before he could continue. you nodded and skipped to the gate.

“hinata....you almost made me dig my own grave” suga sighed with relieved.

“heheheh”

you didn’t wait for too long before you saw suga running towards you. You both walked home in silence before he broke it.

“ the stars are pretty today.” you looked up, and nodded in agreement. You recalled what the little tangerine head said and was really curious in what he meant.

“hey,, what did that tangerine head meant when he said you had a crush on me?” he chocked on his own saliva. His cheeks flushed red immediately.

“e-eh? what do you mean?” he tried to play it off, changing the subject about how his body was aching from practice.

“koushi, i’m not dumb. i know what he was trying to say.” he knew he was defeated. he sighed, before looking up at the sky again as he spoke.

“ well,,,i’ve actually known you before. We..passed by each other at the convenient store once. I was crying, and you were there to buy me tissue and a small melon bread. i guess,,,,i liked you since then? i opened my window one day and saw you. i havent seen you since the incident for months. You were crying, just like how i was. i can’t possibly come up to your door so i drew a paper airplane down. Surprisingly it landed right into your window, and i chickened out so i shut mine. i never thought you’d actually contact me. but when you did,,my heart was pounding like crazy. I guess ever since then i just wanted to give you all my attention, since it was the only way i could show my love for you..” he fiddled with his fingers and looked down at the ground. You couldn’t help but giggle from his cute confession.

“haa koushi, you’re so cute. i guess- i can say i feel the same.”

“w-wait what?” he looked at you, and you couldn’t help make the first move.

“wanna date?”

“IT’S THAT EASY?! but...i wanted to ask you that..”

“then, i would have said yes.” you gave him the warmest smile which he returned with his.

“then it’s a yes for me too.” he grabbed your hand and pulled you slightly closer.

“i look forward to the future with you, y/n” he whispers to your ear.

“koushi...that’s so cheesy !!” you playfully smack his shoulder.

but you don’t deny it, you as well look forward to the future, with him by your side.

a/n: Omg i had so much distractions writing this while listening to vocaloid so it turned out super whacky and just- not up up to my standard im so sorry TmT. also sorry my stories are like super duper long, i’ll maybe add a word count next time (keyword: maybe sjsjj) But these few days i’m kind of dry with story ideas, so feel free to send in some requests !! i’d take some time if i’m ever free to go through and try to write some of your requests !! again, thank you so so much for 100 notes on my previous post, it really made my day !! X33 <3333

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #sugawara x reader #sugawara koshi imagine #sugawara fic #sugawara kōshi #sugawara x y/n #sugawara scenario #haikyuu!!#haikyu!!#haikyu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n

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rkkyg · 5 years

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focusonyugyeomday 20191117 ; kim yugyeoms birthday hongdae fashion street

9:30am

his second alarm blares to life in his ear and this time he actually finds himself waking up fully to it, not just blindly turning the snooze on. the sound making his head pound a little--a reminder of the lack of sleep he would be going on today.

his eyes, still hazy from just waking, take in the notifications on his phone as well as the date sitting right under the time. November 17th.

it’s his birthday.

he vaguely remembers dongmin saying something when he got home last night. the trainee having been home much longer than him due to trc’s weekend schedule ending sooner. sadly, yugyeom had picked up an extra shift that day and he didn’t arrive home until well after midnight--tired and unaware of what the day had become. even now, it took a moment for his mind to catch up, and when it does, he’s shooting up to a sitting position and opening his phone to all the messages.

coworkers, friends, busking pals, and even the fans spamming his instagram account ( both his own and dynamite official ) with comments and dm’s and mentions. it makes a smile form on his face. feeling the love from everyone.

12:44am

he was off work today. the ahjummas gave him gifts and snacks yesterday and then forbid him from coming in today no matter what. they apparently had seen how worn he was getting and wanted to let him have the day to himself. a rare treat as yugyeom normally is working himself to the bone.

which is how he found himself laying on the floor of his apartment he shares with dongmin, phone held above his head as he watches the rest of a drama he started literally months ago. it took him months to finish the 12 episode drama and finally today, he was finishing. a frown resting on his face ( natural drama watching expression from yugyeom ) as he watched the main characters finally get together after the trails of love they went through.

tragic, and lovely.

just then his phone rang, the derpy photo of his hyung appearing on screen and almost starting the birthday boy enough to drop his phone--almost. luckily, he doesn’t and answers the calls after squinting at it for a long moment.

“seungmin hyun--”

“yah, kim yugyeom where are you?? did you forget we’re meeting for lunch??”

“oh... no i didn’t forget! i’m getting ready right now!” the dancer was quick to his feet, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t hurrying around. “i mean--i’m already on the way! where... are we meeting again?”

“aish... you brat...” the sound of his hyungs exasperation draws an amused smile to yugyeoms face. it’s been a few weeks since they last met up but the older always remains the same. and for some reason that means being exasperated with yugyeom.

“good thing for you, i’m in front of your building so get your ass down here in twenty minutes or i leave you behind, birthday or no birthday.” and just like that, seungmin hangs up. leaving yugyeom to chuckle to himself in amusement. same old hyung. but he does as told and starts getting ready--making sure to grab his bag he will need for busking later as well as the key to his studio where he keeps the speakers. it’s not far from his apartment but he rather not have to come all the way back here just to get his studio key.

twenty three minutes later he’s racing down the side walk chasing after his hyung who actually did walk away after twenty minutes.

3:36pm

“you should let me dress you up more often ~ you look so much nicer now, yugyeomie~ “ jaehee teases him as she fixes his makeup. using the chance when he wasn’t allowed to talk to say something that he would absolutely want to whine about.

he was still hanging out with seungmin--the older cleared his schedule today to spend time with yugyeom after having heard he would have been alone anyway. the past years this day was spent with all of dynamite but with hyunggu a trainee now.. well. and with seungmin came his girlfriend and former dynamite manager, jaehee. the older girl always doting upon and teasing him and hyunggu. like she is right now.

“you only ever wear teeshirts and jeans.” she continued her nagging, final touches on his hair and makeup being done along with her talking. and yugyeom merely took it like the good kid he was. ignoring the snickers from seungmin.

“there~ take a look!” she smiles, releasing yugyeom for him to get up and go over to the long mirror. he poses, taking in the outfit and the hair. she’s got him in black and white, hair done up, and smokey makeup. he looks...

“i look like barkhyun hyung from exo.” he mumbles, realizing thats who he has been styled after and he supposes that’s fitting as he does do a lot of exo covers during busking. jaehee laughs some where off to the side and he knows he’s right. he can’t complain though because he does look good. the outfit is a mix of seungmin’s stuff and his own stuff, though he really doesn’t have much.

“i expect those clothes back later.” seungmin calls as yugyeom goes to grab his busking stuff.

5:52pm

“anyway, i wanted to announce a new schedule for busking, im actually going to be picking up a few more days since i have started busking with *****.” he pauses as everyone cheers when they hear the name, though a fan near him mutters something that sounds like why did he get mentioned and yugyeom suppressed a sigh. especially when he hears seungmin cackle behind him.

that running theme of no one understanding him.

“yes yes, i’m going to start busking--” he drones on for another minute or two, and a couple of his regular fans start complaining as he apparently sounded even worse than normal which makes him chuckle as he continues. before he can get the next sentence out though, someone else is taking the mic from him and there’s a cheer from all the fans as hyunggu appears.

yugyeom’s eyes are wide as he see’s his best friend, so startled he doesn’t even react to the fact the mic had been taken. hyunggu explaining every thing he had said, and getting more cheers from the regulars.

“yah! kang hyunggu!” he gets out finally as the other comes to a stop. his fans laughing as they take in his affronted form. “you can’t just come in like that--’ he starts but the regulars who originally stanned hyunggu started complaining at him for scolding hyunggu which makes him pout. he turns towards them with puffy cheeks, but decides to let it go.

he is happy to see him, eyes bright as a smile finally forms and he finds himself hugging his best friend. a nice surprise on his birthday when he had been worried the two of them wouldn’t meet. as he closes up busking, he keeps an arm around the youngers shoulder, and only lets go when picture time starts.

during that time he does hear fans talking to hyunggu.

“it’s been so hard without you!”

“thank god youre here i havent understood anything in months”

“we just wait for the instagram post because we don’t know what he’s trying to tell us during busking.”

he can tell by the voices that it’s some of hyunggus regular fans, and it makes him pout a little. the pout staying on during a few photos because his fans find it adorable. but once he’s free a bit he does march over to hyunggu and his fans and whine at them. proceeding to get teased by everyone present.

busking ends though with a smile on his face, and a cart full of gifts from his fans. birthday busking is also profitable because of the gifts as well as the extra money, and he’s pretty sure they helped him pay rent this month around which would give him a lot of extra money for the days to come. part of why he was going to take up a few more days busking.

7:21pm

he comes home to a nice dinner made by his roommate and also another long time friend. the trainee surprised him with it and when he got back from busking and spending some time with the dynamite crew, being greeted with a good korean home cooked meal was a wonderful surprise.

it almost made him cry, if he was honest.

dinner with dongmin was great, he told the older all about busking that day and asked in return how training was going. he made sure to thank dongmin a thousand and one times for dinner. and by the time he finished, he was more than full. his stomach feeling almost too full as he flopped onto the floor into a similar position he had been this morning.

“hey, dongmin. do you think family can be more than blood?” he questions quietly, but he doesn’t wait for an answer. instead rolling over and shooting a smile to his roommate.

“thanks for dinner, again. really, minnie. today was the perfect day.”

and it was.

of all his birthdays ever, he would put this one on the top three list--if not the top number one. and it really was. tonight was ending on such a high note, he wasn’t sure he would be able to go through the week without missing today. but he thinks he can continue to live this way so long as he continues to have these amazing friends by his side.

#rkdongmin #rkkhg #;solo

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luisneer · 6 years

Text

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived.

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at [email protected]. Thank you

2016

morgantown has ~48 vape shops

**morgantown has ~480 vape shops

siri has werner herzog-like inflections

considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

think i remember ~5% of things i said today

imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

in winchester, VA

thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

experiencing difficulty trying to smile

enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

i dont like videos

i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

huge power outage at shepherd lol

realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

'camcorder' would be a good band name

i thought arnold palmer had already died

willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

i want to stop being mean

i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

tangled up in myself and others

twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

eating shark

thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

i miss being in therapy

i love carpet

i love carpet !!

just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

mood lately very fragile

this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

fuck, im feeling so much terror

gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

what if old people have secrets

my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

i feel guilty in general

thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

im close friends with satan rn

feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

finger

desk

coffee cup exterior

pajama pants

knee

carpet

chin

phone

shirt

shoe

thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

feeling shorter, broader

the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

i like citing things in MLA

i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

doesnt seem to be getting later

lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

crazy how things get worse

there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

the sunlight is obscene

im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

yr = your ur = you're

my favorite things are pdfs

now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

i hear him but i never see him

i love latte art, i drink many lattes

thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

i prefer EPs

felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

the internet isn't big enough

usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

"uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

i'm sad

my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

was luis neer in odd future

thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

how does anyone do it

in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

everyone in the world is high except me

feel like i want to have poems published immediately

having delusions of grandeur

im sitting on my record player

my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

my nose feels like it's going to bleed

im sad because every bf looks like me

getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

the internet is too freaky...

i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

im watching the angry birds movie

the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

ive never had a new years kiss

2017

im weird

eating medicinal ice cream

im not going to do any drugs in 2017

made a medicinal phone call

i want to drink some blood

i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

years dont kill people

feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

i've felt stoned since i was a baby

downloading google earth

made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

experiencing cognitive dissonance

used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

mediocore

beyonce is cool i think

i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

remembered that i own a pinata

i will be at awp

how could i make twitter a better place

i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

im dumber than me

reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

eating chicken and squash

i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

terrified of being cool

walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

i have 5 twitters

i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

why doesnt anyone blog about me

thesis statements arent real

thinking about my book

i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

sad about my tumblr

my name is all over the internet

im a lizard

someday there'll be no more ppl

a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

idk how to use venmo or what it is

present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

on tumblr i have 4 followers

almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

ground control to commander venus

i like my new tumblr

i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

is everything ok

i look like michael moore

#words

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