Tumgik
#someone tell the russos
straytheskies · 9 months
Text
That Barbie mugshot meme but its Frank Castle as Barbie and Billy Russo as Ken.
16 notes · View notes
enwoso · 30 days
Text
START AN ARGUMENT - alessia russo
this is my first time writing in a really long time so if there are any mistakes i apologise! but if you have any questions or requests please send them!
Tumblr media
navigation
"lessi c'mere now, please!" you say as she walks into the kitchen, clad in a long oversized white t-shirt and shorts her hair still wet signalling that she had just gotten out of the shower.
a look of suspicion on her face at you stood in front of your phone. "what are you up to?" she giggled coming near to your phone which was propped up against your heart shaped mug which you had made at a pottery date with the blonde a few months ago. the blonde stopping at the corner of the kitchen counter, eyes narrowed as the mischievous look on your face.
"no c’mere" you repeat pulling her arm into the frame of the camera. "i want to start an argument." you say, letting go of the blondes arm and folding your arms to cover your check as your voice was laced with seriousness.
"why?" the blonde asks her eyes narrowing, not being able to tell if you were being serious or if this was part of the reason why you were recording. "is this another one of your silly tiktok things?" she asked but you pretended you hadn't heard her ask the question.
you cleared you voice, picking up the piece of paper which you had written your questions down on. "alessia russo, if i, your girlfriend - ran away would you get with someone else?" you ask, an element of shock appearing on alessia's face. she wasn't sure what you were going to ask but that definitely wasn't on her list of things.
"no never, i love you" she says with a smile thinking she's got the answer right. "what would you do?" you ask, still with a straight face.
"i would be single and lonely and become a mum to your many jelly cats" alessia says again with a slight smile, looking at the camera which is recording the whole moment.
"incorrect." you say bluntly.
"what, so i would be with someone else?"
"no. if i ran away you would come and find me and you would not stop until you had found me, got it?" you say as if that was the most obvious answer she could have said.
"oh, loud and clear!" the blonde says breaking into another fit of laughter not being able to take this whole serious persona you had adopted the past few minutes.
"if you were blindfolded, and had to kiss 50 women including me. would you guess it was me and if so, how?" you say reading of the peice of paper before giving your girlfriend a deep stare.
"of course i would be able to tell which is you, cause you always poke your tongue-" alessia began but didn't have a chance to finish as you cut her off.
"incorrect!"
"why!"
"you shouldn't want to kiss fifty other women to guess which one is me!" you say, shaking your head in false disapproval. "why would you want to kiss 49 other women?"
"i wouldn't!" alessia says in a pleading tone, as she drags her hands down her face in frustration.
"good, now next one, who is always right in this relationship?" you say knowing exactly what she's going to say which is the furthest from the truth.
"right, okay let's be fair-" alessia begins as you side eye her your eyebrows raising a little, "who is always right in this relationship" you repeat the question emphasis on the word right.
"me"
"incorrect!"
alessia begins to laugh as she knows that's wasn't the correct answer, "that's so incorrect." you say still in your total seriousness persona. "i know, but i never get to be right" the blonde adds with a pout.
"again, incorrect!"
"ok, do you prefer my hair natural or with blonde highlights?" you say looking at alessia who's looking at your hair which at the moment is your full natural colour.
"with blonde" alessia says knowing how much you do love it when it comes to getting your hair done.
"incorrect!"
"nah, now your just lying to wind me up!“
"no, you should prefer me no matter what" you say as she lets out a loud groan, "i don't like when your being all serious, can my big softie come back?"
"i can't cope with these questions"
"i can't believe your getting these so wrong!"
"i can't win.”
"would you kiss someone for £10 million, that wasn't me?" you say looking alessia in the eye as she does back to you. "no!" there being a slight pause after she said her answer, the blonde being done with your game you were playing wanting it to be over now cause it was beginning to mess with her head.
"incorrect!"
"what so i would!" she says confused as to why you've said it was incorrect, "yeah!" you said as if it was again the most obvious answer she could have said.
"you just told me i can't kiss 49 other women!" she argued back as you were now beginning to try not to break your straight face.
"i never said you had to kiss them on the lips, could of kissed them on the finger!" you protested as she shook her head mumbling how she doesn't like this silly game you've come up with.
"you've just lost us ten million! you know how many jelly cats i could of had with that." you frown.
"terribly sorry, i'll buy you the jelly cat instead"
"last one, this is the make or break one, if you went to the shop and i said i didn't want anything would you still bring me something back?" you said placing the sheet of paper on the kitchen counter next to your phone which as still recording the whole moment.
"no, cause you just eat what's mine anyway and then not eat what i brought you back, so it wouldn't matter"
"incorrect"
"you should always bring me something back even if i say i don't want anything!" you say a smile beginning to crack on your face.
"got it! note to self always bring you food" alessia says tapping her head as if that was going to help her remember that specific piece of information.
"yes!"
"or drinks"
"yes or flowers!"
"got it!" alessia says bringing you into a bear hug and attacking you with sloppy kisses. "lessi get off me!" you giggle as she carry's on holding onto you as your stood with your back to the counter as she holds you against it, you leaning forward to kiss her cheek.
"incorrect baby, try again!” alessia says a smirk rising on her face. you shake your head at copying your act you had just been doing and lean up to kiss her on the lips as she sighs and smiles into it.
Tumblr media
liked by leahwilliamson and 601,925 others
yourusername just been told i have too many jelly cats.. honestly have never heard something so ridiculous in my life!
comments -
alessia baby it’s getting to the point where i can’t get in bed at night because of them all😐
1h 210 likes reply
-> yourusername well i cant sleep with one and not the others. they have feelings too you know!
kyracooneyx omg have you seen the new ones that have just released!
1h 196 likes reply
-> alessia please don’t encourage her you pest!
-> yourusername i know! there being delivered next week!
643 notes · View notes
reminiscingtonight · 29 days
Text
A Chaotic Sort Of Love
Alessia Russo x Williamson!Reader
Word Count: 707
A/N: You can’t expect Taylor to drop an album and me to not write a crackfic about a song
[WOSO Masterlist]
“I have something to tell you.”
Leah’s deep in conversation with the other Lia when you interrupt. 
The locker room’s mostly empty by now, only a few of your teammates still hanging around. 
You’ve planned this entire thing out to the T. Even down to who’s still in the locker room. There’s not enough people around where news of what you have to share would spread like a wildfire, but there’s still enough where the necessary people would stop Leah if it all got out of hand. 
Alessia’s meekly standing beside you when your sister looks up. Lia simply shrugs when she’s given a questioning look. Despite the two of them being the best of friends, you still go to the older girl for advice quite often. But whatever this is about you haven’t told her a thing.
Leah gestures for you to continue. 
You swallow nervously. “Okay. Well. Less and I… we’re dating.”
And just like that, the air turns frosty.
“You and Alessia are what?” Leah’s eyes instantly narrow as she fixes her gaze upon the striker by your side. Despite towering over both you and Leah, Alessia wilts, her height doing nothing to dissuade Leah from taking a menacing step forward.
You shift yourself so that you’re between the two blondes. “Relax, Leah.”
“You want me to relax? Well I want you to not be corrupted by two-left feet, stumbling, doe-eyed… giants!”
Someone snorts from across the room at Leah’s floundering insult, and Leah’s quick to send her glare after its owner.
You roll your eyes. “I want you to relax because I’m actually pregnant. That’s what I wanted to tell you.”
Leah jerks her head back so suddenly you’re a bit worried about whiplash. Her eyes dart between you, Alessia, and then your stomach. She’s silent for a moment, mouth opening and closing as she looks for something to say. “You’re what?”
You shrug, letting out a loud sigh. 
Leah takes another tentative step forward. You can feel Alessia stiffen a bit more behind you. But this time Leah’s only focused on your stomach. 
“Are you really--”
“No!” You slap Leah’s hand away before it can make contact. “I’m into women Leah. This woman,” you gesture backwards towards Alessia. The blonde instantly drops her eyes, internally groaning at the way you continue to rile up your sister. “I’m not pregnant. But you should’ve really seen your face when I said I was.”
Leah reaches out again but this time you’ve already darted away towards the safety of the older Lia. 
The Swiss woman looks mildly amused, holding out a hand to stop your advancing sister. 
“But--”
“They’re young but your sister is her own person.”
“What if--”
“Own person,” Lia repeats, raising an eyebrow in challenge. 
It always amuses you to see how much your sister defers to Lia when the Swiss woman takes charge.
Leah’s nose flares in annoyance, but even you can see when she decides against challenging the other woman. “Fine. But just let me get this straight--”
“Nothing straight about this at all, Lee.”
“Dude,” comes an exasperated sigh from across the room. You look up to see Katie shaking her head at you, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. 
You know you’re in for it when even Katie thinks you’ve gone too far. 
To your surprise, however, Leah simply takes a deep breath in. When she finally exhales, she seems less peeved. She shrugs, turning towards her locker to shove her clothes into her bag. “I’m sure you can be dating worse people. Less is nice enough.”
“That’s it? No lecture? No scaring Lessi away from me?”
“No. But I just-- hold on.” Leah grabs your arm, stopping you before you can dart away to your own locker. You meet her eyes head on, not really sure if she’s going to tear you another one or not. From the corner of your eye you can see Lia tensing again, but her next words have you all relaxing. 
“You’re not pregnant,” Leah asks, double checking just for her sanity.
“No--” Alessia pipes up from beside you, shaking her head. 
“Not yet,” you grin.
Leah curses when you duck under her outstretched hands. “Get back here you imp!”
557 notes · View notes
barcaatthemoon · 1 month
Text
she's with me || alessia russo x reader ||
Tumblr media
alessia gets jealous when you befriend the new arsenal signing.
alessia's jaw was clenched as she watched you run around with the newest signee. you had been at arsenal for years, long enough to be the unofficial leader of the welcoming party. whenever alessia had signed, you had been the first one at the training grounds to let her into your group. it was customary for you to do with anybody who was new, but this time, alessia was taking it personally.
it wasn't your fault, not really. alessia wouldn't have even gotten upset if katie had unhelpfully pointed out your past relationship with the new player. alessia hadn't even known that the two of you had dated at first, but katie apparently knew all about it. in fact, she had told alessia everything that she could just to fuck with the tall blonde.
"less, babe, do you want to come out tonight with the rest of the girls?" you asked. there was a hopeful look on your face. alessia had been in a piss poor mood, especially around the rest of the girls. it was why you had, admittedly, been avoiding her. the two of you hadn't even been spending all of your normal alone time together because of alessia's behavior.
"of course i do, why wouldn't i?" alessia asked you. she seemed distracted, and you noticed how her gaze was still partially on your ex. it was nice to be friends with her again, despite how badly the relationship had ended. you wanted to explain to alessia that you'd never in a million years get back together with the other girl, but you doubted that alessia would have listened to you.
alessia liked to claim that she was above getting jealous, but you knew different. in fact, the more that you thought about alessia's recent behavior and your newly rekindled friendship with arsenal's new girl, you realized that alessia was jealous. she had been jealous, but instead of saying something and communicating, she had decided to throw a big, stupid tantrum.
"well, with the way you've been lately, i wasn't sure. i thought i'd check. if you weren't going to go, i was just gonna let em give me a ride." you knew that it was wrong, but you couldn't help yourself. riling alessia up was just too easy, and it must have been an irish trait to love doing it because you were sure that katie was at the root of this problem. she had been the only one on the team to know just how mad you had been for your ex.
"damn, if they get any closer, i think we'll get kicked out." alessia's face set into a frown as she looked over to where leah was pointing. there was a group of girls dancing with you, but alessia's eyes zeroed in on the way that your ex held onto your waist. it was far more tame than how katie was grabbing your body as she ground your ass against her hips, but alessia didn't care.
"i should go get her," alessia said. she tried to get up, only to be held back by sab and lotte. "they'll give someone the wrong idea dancing like that. i don't want anybody to think (y/n) and emily are together."
"emily isn't the problem. foord, go get your girlfriend!" leah called out. with katie being pulled away, alessia's attention was forced onto the only person touching you still. she sat there with leah keeping her down for an agonizingly long time. alessia was glad when the song ended and you came over to the table for a drink break.
"less, baby, are you okay?" you asked as you sat down in her lap. she didn't answer you, instead opting to pull you by your hair into a kiss. she knew just where to grab to get you moaning and whining into her mouth. it was a big show, one that had leah pushing the two of you out of the club. "what was that about? i'll tell katie to tone it down next time."
"better yet, tell that other girl to keep her hands off of you. you're mine now. she had her chance, and she blew it. not my fault that your taste improved with age," alessia said. she had never sounded so cocky before. normally, that sort of thing was a huge turn-off for you, but with alessia, you found yourself loving it.
"calm down, like you said, i'm yours now. you don't have to get aggressive with her, okay?" you placed your hand on alessia's chest as the two of you stood outside. she nodded as she took your hand in hers, but that didn't change the look in her eyes as she looked at you.
alessia looked at you like you were going to be her last meal. the intensity of her gaze didn't falter once on the way home. if anything, it seemed to grow in intensity as the two of you got closer to her place. you thought that alessia's stare was going to melt your clothes off by the time that you were walking through the front door.
"get back to the bedroom, i'll be there in a minute," alessia ordered you. there was a moment when you hesitated, prompting alessia to slap your ass as she turned you towards the hallway. you walked forward, cheeks burning red as you did. alessia followed you in a couple of moments later, dropping a couple of water bottles on the bedside table as she made her way over to you.
"are you going to get the strap?" you asked. alessia shook her head as she started to strip out of her clothing. you swallowed thickly as her body was revealed to you, something that never ceased to amaze you. "fuck, less."
"come here and turn around," alessia ordered. she was being very demanding, which you normally would have had a bit of a problem with. instead, you found yourself almost giddy about the way that she was telling you what to do. "your ass looks amazing in this skirt."
"thank you baby," you told her. she placed a gentle hand on your back, pushing the bottom of your crop top as she did. "you looked hot tonight. i wished you would have danced with me."
"this is much better than a dance, i promise. i'm going to make you feel so good, just relax." alessia placed a kiss to the small of your back. you were sure that she could feel how wet you were if she leaned in a little more, but alessia was careful to keep her distance. "can i touch you? i want to have a taste of what's mine."
"fuck less, you can always touch me," you told her. alessia smiled as she pushed your skirt up completely. she kept you bent over as she moved your thong to the side. the hand that had been on your back had moved down to caress your ass as alessia ran her tongue through your folds.
alessia moaned at the taste of you on her tongue. she lapped at your cunt, just trying to make you as much of a mess as she could. alessia didn't care about making you cum quickly, she wanted to tease you long enough to have you dripping down her face. alessia needed the satisfaction of knowing that she could have you coming completely undone on a whim.
"you taste so good," alessia told you as she brushed her thumb against your clit. "makes me clench my thighs to think about sometimes."
"y-you think about me like that?" you don't know why it surprised you so much to hear that. alessia was definitely not as innocent as leah and beth had you believing, but the idea of her thinking of fucking you spun you for a loop.
"all of the time, but i haven't gotten to touch you like this in a while. you've been running away from me because of your new little friend, but i doubted that she ever had you dripping like this. you're making such a mess on my fingers, one that i can't wait to clean up. i swear that i could cum at just the taste of you," alessia said. each one of her words had your stomach clenching. you were so close, but alessia was constantly giving you just enough not to cum.
"lessi, if i beg, will you let me cum?" you asked her. alessia leaned down and bit your ass cheek, causing you to squeal a little.
"you can cum whenever you want once you tell me that you love me." alessia had never been one to withhold your orgasms like that. the two of you had tried edging, but alessia's resolve had broken the moment she noticed tears forming in the corners of your eyes. you weren't on the verge of tears, but you knew that much more teasing would bring you there.
"i love you, alessia. i love you so much that it hurts me sometimes," you told her. alessia stood up and slid two fingers inside of you, pushing her hips in for a little added force. alessia gave you a couple of straight thrusts before she started to curl her fingers inside of you. "less."
"it's okay, i know baby. let it happen. i'll give you whatever you want after. doesn't that sound nice baby? just relax and cum for me," alessia cooed. her voice was soft, much softer than it had been all night. you felt yourself relax as your alessia seemed to be coming back to you.
your orgasm took your legs out from beneath you, but alessia was there to make sure you didn't faceplant on the mattress. she laid you down on the bed and moved to lay behind you. you felt her open up your legs before she started to clean you up. your body jerked and jolted a little, but alessia kept you pinned down.
"i know you're sensitive, but this is important," alessia reminded you. she took care of you, even if you didn't always it. alessia guided you into a seated position for you to drink one of the waters she had brought up. it had been sitting out of the fridge just enough to be deemed "drinkable" by you.
"you know that i do love you, right? you don't have to hold my orgasms over my head to hear it," you said as you shoved her shoulder. alessia nodded sheepishly, having felt a little guilty about it after the words had left her mouth.
"yeah, i know that you love me, and i love you too. it's just been messing with me pretty bad having your ex here, and katie won't stop reminding me about it. it's infuriating, and everything kind of got away from me," alessia ranted. you pulled her into your arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "i'm sorry if i've been a bitch."
"you have, but it's okay. i guess you can't be a total sweetheart all the time," you joked. alessia seemed to be glad that you weren't holding her behavior over the past couple of weeks over her head because now that she was back in your arms properly, she felt a bit ridiculous about being jealous in the first place.
601 notes · View notes
mclqren · 2 months
Text
SPORTING SECRETS ★ CL16
PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!footballer!reader
SUMMARY ✦ you are a famous footballer & you have been dating charles in secret for some time, but your fans start to piece together the clues when they spot him at one of your matches [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ reader plays for the arsenal women's team. the fc i've used is alessia russo, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Tumblr media
liked by leahwilliamsonn, bethmead_, and 214,990 others
yourusername match ready for this weekend ❤️
view all comments
user1 i literally aspire to be like you when i get older
user2 she does it againnn!!
user3 london is RED ❤️❤️
liked by yourusername
bethmead_ my girllll 💘
yourusername love youu!!
user4 i look up to her sm
user5 sameee!!
user6 HOW IS SHE SINGLE STILLL
user7 literally NO CLUE HOW
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
( caption one: guess where i am 😍 | caption two: london 🇬🇧 )
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by kimlittle1990, charles_leclerc, and 252,111 others
yourusername walking back after a victory this weekend:
view all comments
user12 LETS FUCKING GOOO
user13 KNEW YOU COULD DO ITTT!!
leahwilliamsonn ❤️❤️
yourusername foreverrrr! ❤️
user14 is no one going to talk about how CHARLES LECLERC is in her likes??
user15 i swear he's been following her for a while, though?
user16 yup!! but this is the first time they're actually interacting with each other on the internet
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by bethmead_, charles_leclerc, and 292,400 others
yourusername best end to the weekend!! ft millie 💘
view all comments
user17 MILLIE IS BACKKKK!!
user18 ugh y/n is such a cutie i can't
user19 OKAY BUT WHO IS THAT GUYYY??
user20 Y/N HAS A MAN??
user21 i'm kindaaa surprised but not really bc LOOK AT HER
bethmead_ so who's the man that's replaced me
yourusername shhh look away ❤️
charles_leclerc millieee!!
yourusername my fav 💘
user22 THE COMMENT FROM CHARLES HELLO?
user23 my two worlds colliding is this a fever dream.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,101,767 others
tagged yourusername
charles_leclerc my y/n - aka the best footballer i've ever met (other than myself, of course) i'm so happy we can finally share our love with the rest of the world. forever and always, i love you ❤️
view all comments
user25 WHERE IS THAT GIRL ON TWITTER BC SHE MUST BE PUNCHING THE AIR RN.
user26 SOMEONE GIVE HER A MEDAL
user27 AHHH SHES SO CUTE!!
user28 NEW PARENTS UNLOCKED
user29 wait can someone tell me who she is??
user30 y/n l/n!! she's a footballer for the arsenal wfc and she's sooo fucking perfect!
user29 ahh!! she's so gorgeous! 💗💗
yourusername the way you posted this without my permission is crazyyy...
charles_leclerc had to let the world know at some point 😘
yourusername i love you tooo! (the caption abt you being better is def a lie but okay!)
charles_leclerc excuse me i dominated the game??
yourusername how - by falling flat on ur ass??
user30 OKAY THEIR DYNAMIC>>>
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, bethmead_, and 401,928 others
tagged charles_leclerc
yourusername charlieee my love!! thank you so much for supporting me for just over a year (crazy how no one managed to clock us for it until now), you mean so so much to me! p.s. if you ever want to say ur better than me at football, take a look at the last pic. you're welcome. 😊😊
view all comments
user31 STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK US SO LONG TO FIGURE OUT
user32 FR like we're meant to be so diligent??
user33 AW MY HEARTTT
user34 icl him in that first pic>>> WOW
bethmead_ still can't believe you replaced me :(
yourusername no one could ever replace you, come over rn 😘
bethmead_ omw!!
charles_leclerc i love you
yourusername LOVE YOU MORE
user35 my heart can't handle this sedate me now.
charles_leclerc WHY THE LAST PIC
yourusername i get to insult you every once in a while 💘
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
756 notes · View notes
girlgenius1111 · 2 months
Text
someone who loves you wouldn't do this
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the fourth and final chapter of family line solstråle faces some more challenges and makes some important decisions. angst. like angst... but then fluff :) cw: more of the same... poor mental health on sol's part.
it must be said that this chapter would be absolutely NOTHING compared to what it is now without @wileys-russo. for every comment you leave on this, YOU BEST leave bailey something telling her thank you, too :)
------
“Solstråle… that is just… wood. Your bed would just be on some wooden slats on the ground.” 
You beamed at your sister. “I KNOW. It’s so cool. It’s like camping. But with a comfy mattress, and it’s oversized, so I don't need a nightstand, it’s like a built-in shelf! It'll go so well with my new map because the wood is the same as the frame and…” 
Ingrid didn’t need to hear your reasoning; the excitement on your face was more than enough for her. She would have bought you anything, no matter how hideous, just to keep seeing this joy on your face. This alleged bed frame wasn’t even that bad; it was woodsy and earthy and the precise thing you loved. 
The bed frame was the final thing you’d needed. Ingrid had come in with a gameplan, because of course she had, and you had systematically made your way through the store. 
You’d seemed unsure at first, and very hesitant to really pick anything out. Mapi, meanwhile, was too excited to see that she was overwhelming you. After the 8th time you’d said the words, “I don’t know, do you like it?” your sister knew she had to step in. 
Mapi was busy talking your ear off. “OOO what about this dresser? With the matching mirror? Or we could get the other mirror with this dresser and paint the wood framing so it would match. Or we could get-”
Ingrid cut her off. “María, darling, I love you, but take a breath.” You watched amused as Mapi literally took a deep breath at Ingrid’s instruction. “Okay, now go pick out a couple new mugs over there and then come back.” 
Mapi nodded enthusiastically, bounding off towards the mugs. “Do not run, María Pilar!” Ingrid shouted after her, smiling to herself when Mapi slowed down to an awkward shuffle. 
Your sister turned to you then, a sympathetic look on her face as you regarded her cautiously. 
“Which dresser do you want?” 
“I don’t-” 
“No. Which dresser do you want?” Ingrid insisted. 
You shrugged, looking away from your sister, and inexplicably starting to tear up. You didn't want to pick the wrong thing, and you didn’t want to make anyone buy anything for you. 
The brunette put her hands on your shoulders, looking down at you insistently. “Listen, Solstråle. I want you to have a space that is yours, with things you pick, and things you like. Let me do this for you? Please?” 
You sighed, nodding slowly. “I like that one.” You said softly, pointing at one of the dressers Mapi hadn’t even glanced at. 
“Good.” Ingrid said. “MAR��A, come here.” 
Mapi returned like a puppy being called back to its owner, with a single mug in her hands. Ingrid had been about to scold her, and tell her to stop hijacking your shopping trip, when Mapi handed out the mug towards you. You took it into your hands, turning it around until the design was facing you. 
It was a ceramic mug, painted with a minimalist map of Spain. There was only one marking on the map, signifying Barcelona. It was a little sun, right on the coast, marking your new home. 
“Get it? It’s a map. Like the one I got you. And it has a sun. Mapi and Solstråle. Un mapa y el sol.” She joked, clearly thinking you’d laugh, and put the mug back, as it wasn’t normally the sort of thing you’d like. 
You grinned at her, though, looking between the Spaniard and your sister, who also had a big smile on her face. “Can I get it?” You asked. 
Mapi looked surprised, but Ingrid just kept smiling, knowing instantly that the silly mug meant something because Mapi had seen it, and thought of you. “Of course. María, she picked out a dresser.” 
“Which one?” Mapi asked, looking around excitedly. 
You’d laughed, shaking your head, and pointing at the one you wanted. Ingrid was a little worried Mapi would jokingly complain that you hadn’t picked one of the ones’ she’d pointed out, and inadvertently make you feel guilty, but Mapi just nodded enthusiastically. 
“Oh I didn’t see that one! Good call pequeña!” 
You’d looked relieved, Ingrid felt relieved, and Mapi was just happy to be there.
-------
You couldn’t sleep. It felt dumb, laying in your new bed, in your redecorated room, but your mind just wouldn’t turn off. You’d spent the day with Ingrid and Mapi, and they’d done everything right. Everything. Your room felt like your room, now, not just the guest room. Their home felt like your home. 
And yet. You were still empty. It wasn’t enough. You weren’t convinced. It didn’t make any fucking sense, because they’d gone out of their way, over and over, to show you that they loved you. That seemed like something that couldn’t be reality, though. You weren’t… loveable. How could you be? You were just you. And that had never been enough, no matter how badly you wanted it to be. 
You couldn’t stand laying in bed any longer. It was too soft, too comfortable. It felt too safe, like everything was about to be ripped away from you. The living room was safer. It was so viscerally Ingrid and Mapi’s space. You didn’t have anything to lose down here. 
You turned the TV on, appreciating the array of Norwegian options Ingrid was subscribed to, and put on a mindless one. You sat and watched, and tried not to think. You weren’t very successful if the way you jumped when the couch moved next to you was any indication. 
“Can’t sleep?” Mapi asked, tucking herself under the blanket you were using. 
“Nope.” 
“Thinking about how much better you’d sleep in that race car bed we saw? That’s why I'm up.” Mapi replied wistfully, causing you to crack a smile. 
“Something like that.” You replied softly. The defender studied you for a moment, before throwing an arm around your shoulder, contact you leaned into, almost on instinct. 
A scene came on in the drama that was playing, one which took place in a tattoo shop. Mapi perked up, and you saw an opening to change the subject before your mood could be questioned. 
“How old were you when you got your first tattoo?” You questioned. 
“18. It was this one.” Mapi said excitedly, holding out her arm to point at the partially covered up tattoo. “I covered it kind of a couple years later. Would you ever get a tattoo?” 
You weren’t a bad liar, but for some reason, you didn’t feel like lying to Mapi. She felt like a judgment free zone, in a way your sister didn’t. “I have one.” 
Mapi looked at you in surprise. “You do? Where? What is it? When did you get it? How did you get it?” The law in Barcelona was that you could get one at 16 without parental consent, but Mapi hadn’t known when you would have done it. 
You laughed at her rapid fire questions. “I got it in Norway. It was a stick and poke, I don’t even remember getting it, I was blacked out.” 
Mapi tried to school her features, but you could sense her disapproval anyway. It wasn’t for the reason you expected, though. “Someone gave you a stick and poke while you were blacked out?” She asked evenly. 
You just shrugged. “I asked for it, apparently.” 
It was quiet for a moment while the defender tried to act like that didn’t upset her. 
“What is it?” You blushed, then, and Mapi cracked a smile. “Tell me, tell me. I won’t tell your sister.” 
Instead of telling, you showed her, pulling your shirt up so your rib was exposed.
So the 23 clearly inked into your skin was visible. 
Mapi’s touch was delicate when she traced over it, a small smile on her lips. 
“23, huh?” 
You shrugged. “It was the only thing I asked for, apparently. I couldn’t remember the number, I was so drunk, but I made someone google what it was, and then… got it.” 
“That’s really sweet.” Mapi said quietly. 
“Hope she doesn’t change her number.” You said quickly, trying not to linger on the sentimentality of it all. 
“Eh. You can always turn it into something else. Tattoo cover ups aren’t that expensive.” Mapi said casually, knowing exactly who was just a few steps from the family room. Sue her if she wanted to see Ingrid’s reaction to your tattoo. 
“Tattoo? TATTOO? You have a tattoo, solstråle?” Ingrid asked, practically falling into the room. You tensed, suddenly terrified that this would be it. She’d make you leave after this. But while ingrid looked a little stern, she didn't seem angry. Still, you were a bit frozen still, and Mapi took her opportunity. 
“Stick and poke. Got it while blackout drunk.” She said, holding up a hand for you to high five, despite clearly disapproving minutes earlier. Apparently, Mapi only needed to be a protective adult in Ingrid’s absence. You high fived her, allowing yourself to smile a bit, though you shot your sister a nervous glance. 
Ingrid pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers, sighing heavily and sitting on the couch. 
“Alright. Let me see it.” You sat up to lift the side of your shirt again, stopping when she threw a hand over her eyes. “Wait, no. Is it bad? Is it a bad word? Is it a vagina?” You and Mapi collapsed into giggles, and Ingrid rolled her eyes, removing her hand from her face. “Oh grow up, both of you. Let me see, solstråle.” 
A bit smugly, now, you showed her the tattoo, watching carefully as her face morphed from apprehension, to surprise, to… emotion. Ingrid was tearing up. 
“Oh my god, don’t cry, please, Ingrid,” you begged, sitting up and looking at your sister anxiously. Mapi was shaking with silent laughter next to you, and Ingrid was waving her hands in front of her face frantically. 
“I’m not crying, I’m not. I’m just- tattoos are bad. Really bad. You shouldn’t have that. Tattoo. Of my number. On your body forever. My baby sister,” She trailed off, biting her lip when it began to tremble. 
“Ingrid,” you complained, looking away uncomfortably. 
“Ven aqui, princesa,” Mapi said quietly, pulling Ingrid into her side, though she was still smiling. Ingrid took a few calming breaths resting against her girlfriend, staying silent even though she had a million things to say. Her girlfriend took the opportunity to break the ice, seeing as though you looked to be on the verge of bolting out of the room. “ You know what would look good, solstråle? A 4, on the other side.” She suggested with a grin. 
Ingrid sat bolt upright. “NO! No more tattoos. María, I swear to god.” 
Mapi laughed, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m just kidding, princesa, relax! God you sound like Alexia when I joked that I was going to tattoo Fresa when she was 12.  I thought Ale was going to hit me.” 
“I might hit you.” Ingrid mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at her girlfriend. 
“Nah. I’m too hot for that.” Mapi said confidently, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend’s cheek. Ingrid fought a smile and you turned away with a grimace on your face. 
“Well. I’m going to bed. Please, keep the volume down, I don’t wish to be scarred this evening.” You said, walking briskly out of the room, ignoring Mapi’s cackle, and Ingrid’s gasp. 
“We don’t have sex! We don’t! Abstinence is key!” Ingrid shouted after you, sighing heavily when she heard you laugh from the stairs. She turned to Mapi with a defeated look on her face. 
“Nicely done, princesa.” Mapi teased. 
Ingrid groaned, collapsing against her girlfriend. “She laughed a lot today. Like really laughed.” Ingrid commented after a minute. 
Mapi ran her fingers through Ingrid’s loose hair. “I know. It was nice. She’s making progress, mi amor. You’re doing really well.” 
Ingrid smiled shyly into the Spaniard, privately thinking that she’d do a lot worse without Mapi around to help. It takes a village, she supposed. 
-------
You hadn’t quite drifted off when you heard your bedroom door open quietly. You were half asleep, too sleepy to open your eyes, assuming that either Ingrid or Mapi were putting something in your room you’d forgotten downstairs. You cracked an eye open after a second when you heard a noise closer to your bed, and saw your sister picking up Snø, who had fallen off your bed. She turned towards you, and for some reason, you shut your eyes before she could see they were open. 
You pretended to be asleep. You weren’t sure why. 
You were glad you had, though, when you felt Snø placed just next to your face, felt the covers pulled up a little until they were just under your chin, and felt Ingrid press a soft kiss to your forehead. 
“God natt solstråle, jeg elsker deg,” she whispered, before quietly creeping back out of the room. 
You were wide awake now, opening your eyes as soon as you heard the door shut. You weren’t quite sure what you were so upset about. Ingrid tucking you in had felt safe and loving and warm. Those were all good feelings… so why did it feel like a part of your chest was caving in on itself?
It was just… where had Ingrid learned to do that? You couldn’t, for the life of you, remember your parents doing anything similar with you. Even when you were young, putting you to bed consisted of them standing in the doorway while you got under the covers, and them bidding you a goodnight. Had it not been like that for Ingrid? 
The more you thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. Of course it hadn’t been like that for Ingrid. She had been intentional, wanted. She was their favorite. They loved Ingrid in a way they never loved you. Of course they tucked her in, and kissed her forehead, and told her they loved her. Words you hadn’t heard from either of them in a long time. Ingrid got everything you always craved, and you couldn’t even really be that mad about it. Because if anyone deserved the absolute best the world had to offer, it was your sister. 
You cried yourself to sleep that night, quietly muffling your sobs in your pillow. It was a sadness that plagued you, mixed with hope. Your parents didn’t love you, you were pretty sure of that. But it seemed like, maybe, Ingrid did. 
-------
The following day was a match day. Well, not for Mapi, obviously, but it was an important league match for the team, and for Ingrid, and you were actually looking forward to going. 
You woke up well rested in your bedroom, warm sunlight streaming in through the cracks in the blinds. You looked around when you woke up, a bit confused at the transformation it had undergone. It was cozy, and you relished laying in bed for a bit, not in any rush to leave this newly comforting space. It felt like home, and thought that still scared you, it wasn’t as terrifying in the daylight. Everything was always better in the morning. 
And though the morning was good, the afternoon only went downhill. 
You’d disappeared up to your room to get some homework done before you were set to leave for the game, and Mapi and Ingrid were lounging downstairs, watching a WSL match. Ingrid was ignoring the repetitive texts from her mother. After another one buzzed her phone, quickly followed by a sharp ring as her mom resorted to calling her, Ingrid flipped her phone over with a heavy sigh, turning to hide her face in the crook of Mapi’s neck. The Spaniard frowned sadly, wrapping her arms tight around the Norwegian, softly rubbing her back. 
“I love you.” Mapi whispered, not really sure what to say, but figuring that those words couldn’t hurt. Ingrid whispered them back, feeling a bit braver now, before pulling away and reaching for her phone again. 
“I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t want to talk to her right now, but she can tell something is wrong. I never ignore her like this.” 
“You’re not ready to talk. Just say that.” Mapi suggested. Ingrid thought for a few moments, before slowly nodding and beginning to type a response. 
Please stop calling. I am focused on Solstråle right now. You’ve really hurt her, and neither of us are ready to talk to you yet. Please respect that.
Ingrid showed Mapi before hitting send, an apprehensive look on her face. 
“Perfect, amor.” Mapi assured her, watching as Ingrid hit send and snuggled back up against her girlfriend. She felt the words more than she heard them when Mapi spoke into her ear. “I am proud of you. You’re doing the right thing for your sister, and I know it’s hard, but you’re doing so well, mi princesa. I’m so proud of you.” 
Ingrid blushed heavily, but smiled to herself. She wasn't sure why, but it suddenly felt like things might be okay from here on out. She would be wrong. 
-------
You shouldn’t have answered the phone. You should have known better. You couldn't help the hope that bloomed inside of you when you saw your mom’s name on the caller ID as your phone rang, though. You answered the phone. 
“You’re ruining our family.” She ruined it first. 
“You’ve made my daughter hate me.” You’re her daughter too. 
“Ingrid doesn’t want you there. She’s not your parent, I am.” Ingrid says she wants you here. And Ingrid acts more like a parent than she ever has. 
“If I'd known how much trouble you’d be, I wouldn’t have bothered with having you.” Sometimes you wish she hadn’t bothered with it. 
“You cause more trouble than you’re worth, and one day Ingrid will see that. And I won’t be here to take you back.” You were a lot of trouble, weren’t you? Your mom was right. One day, Ingrid and Mapi would reach the point she had. And you’d have nowhere else to go. 
Your thoughts only spiraled from there. You hung up the phone without saying a word, letting it fall to the ground. You curled into yourself and thought. Thought hard. Until your mind felt like a prison you were locked in, and you weren’t sure how to get out. Until the room disappeared around you, and all you felt was hatred. Not towards your mother. But towards yourself. 
-------
You wouldn’t look at Mapi. You wouldn’t move. You didn’t even really seem to know she was there. You sat with your knees pulled to your chest on the floor by your bed, a vacant look in your eyes. 
“Come on, pequeña, come back. I’m right here, you’re safe.” Mapi said softly, careful not to touch you. She’d come to ask you if you’d be ready to go in an hour, wanting to leave at the same time as Ingrid and spend time with the team as they got ready in the locker room. She’d found you like this, making yourself as small as possible against your bed. You looked tiny, and Mapi spoke quietly, delicately, trying to coax you back to her. 
Still, even her soothing words didn’t bring you out. And she knew she needed to get Ingrid, even as she knew that Ingrid would freak out.
She stepped away from you, leaning into the hall and calling quietly towards her room, where your sister was. 
“Ingrid, come here please.” She said, as calmly as she could. Ingrid appeared in the hall, walking towards your room as she fiddled with the braid in her hair. 
“What’s up?” She asked, following Mapi into your room. “Solstråle?” She looked between you and her girlfriend in confusion. 
“I think she’s a little out of it right now. I’m not sure what happened, I found her like this.” Mapi explained, trying her best to not make Ingrid panic. 
Ingrid sat down next to you, grabbing your hand. When you didn’t even flinch, she looked at Mapi in horror. 
“María, what do we do?” 
“She’s all right, amor. She just needs a bit.” Mapi reassured, sitting down on your other side. 
“I… I don’t understand, what happened?” 
“I don’t know, mi amor. Something probably upset her. She’s very vulnerable right now.” Mapi replied, before pausing briefly. “Do you remember when I withdrew from camp for the first time? I got like this. I was okay, I just needed some time, and my brain was trying to protect itself. Solstråle is okay, she just needs the same.” 
Ingrid nodded slowly, because she did remember. That was different, though, that was… a traumatic experience for her girlfriend. And whatever was happening with you right now, this couldn’t be a reaction to a traumatic experience. Yes, you were struggling, and yes, the last couple years had been hard, but you weren’t… traumatized? 
As Ingrid sat and waited for you to come back to her, though, she realized that you were. If she put herself in your position, she couldn’t see how you could have come out of everything not traumatized. The marks your parents had left on you ran deeper than Ingrid had realized. And there wasn’t anything she could do to fix them unless you let her. 
“María,” Ingrid said quietly, a desperate plea for some reassurance as minutes passed and nothing changed, as she stared into your eyes and you didn't react. 
“I know, cariño, but she’s okay. She’s okay, I promise. Just try to stay calm.” 
Ingrid wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay calm. Especially when she glanced at her phone and saw it was several minutes past the time she was supposed to leave for the match. “Can you call Ale? And tell her I can’t come?” 
Mapi was nodding before Ingrid finished her sentence, standing and stepping out of the room. The phone only rang once before Alexia picked up, her reassuring voice calming Mapi, who was pretending to be a lot less panicked than she felt. 
“Hola.” 
“Ingrid and I can’t come.” Mapi said simply. 
“What’s going on? Are you both okay?” Alexia asked with concern. Ingrid wouldn’t just miss a match she was supposed to be starting. Not unless something was wrong. 
“It’s her sister, she’s not… well right now. We have to stay here with her. Ale, I’m really sorry,” Mapi said, cutting herself off before she got choked up. She wasn’t an emotional person but seeing you like this, seeing Ingrid so upset, and hearing her best friend’s voice over the phone… she couldn’t help it. 
“No, don’t be sorry. Family first, always. I’ll talk to Jona. Do you need anything? Can I help?” Alexia asked. Hearing Mapi cry was always unsettling, because it happened so rarely. 
“No, we’ve got it. Thank you, Ale, really.” Mapi said back, clearing her throat. 
They said goodbye, and Mapi walked back into the room, raising her eyebrows when she saw Ingrid on your phone. 
“She talked to Mom. Like 20 minutes ago, she answered a call from Mom.” Ingrid stated. “Could that…” 
Mapi took her spot back next to you, absentmindedly taking your hand in hers. You gave it the faintest of squeezes, but the Spaniard didn’t want to put any pressure on you, so she said nothing. “It could be that. It makes sense. A lot of this seems to have to do with your mom. I don’t know what she said on the phone, but… it probably wasn’t good.” 
Ingrid sat with that information for a bit, startling slightly when you slumped into her. Carefully, she lowered you so your head was in her lap. You seemed a little more aware, now, but still nowhere near normal. Softly, she began to pull your hair out of the braid it was in, combing it back away from your face. 
“Our Mom did this to her.” She said evenly. Mapi rested her chin on Ingrid’s shoulder, nodding slightly. “I am never letting that woman near Solstråle again. I don’t care what I have to do. She’s been hurt enough. I won’t let her be hurt anymore.” 
It didn’t matter that Mapi had come to this conclusion a couple days ago. It mattered that Ingrid was there now, and Ingrid was going to keep you safe. 
You heard what Ingrid said. Your ears still worked, you were just a bit… out of it. You heard what she had told her girlfriend. And as she sat above you, relaxing you with every touch of her fingers to your scalp, you knew that you were failing at the rules you’d set yourself years ago. 
Don’t get attached. Don’t expect anything from anyone. Don’t get your hopes up. Don’t listen when people tell you they love you; they almost never mean it. 
You were trusting, again. Just a little bit, piece by piece, and you knew that it would take time before you healed fully, before you trusted fully. Very quickly, though, you were losing the will to be independent, losing the will to be strong. You didn’t want to have to be strong anymore. And you were beginning to think you didn’t need to be. 
Of course, healing isn’t linear. Nothing is that easy. So even as you slowly sat up off your sister, and inquired as to why she wasn’t at her game, some part of you knew something else would go wrong. It had happened too many times for you not to know any better. There was still a hesitation when you leaned into the hug your sister offered, as she explained that you were more important than football. There was still hesitation when she asked what had happened. You told her the fewest details possible, which she clearly wasn’t happy with. You were still holding yourself back, somewhere in the middle of healed and broken. It was almost a race to see who could get to you first. It would either be Mapi and Ingrid to reach you, to put you back together. Or it would be the trauma and pain that pulled you backwards, back to the version of yourself you hated. Breaking you for good. 
------
The answer would come in the form of a knock on the front door, later that day. After you’d gotten up off the floor of your bedroom, and returned to pretending to be okay. You were in the garage with Mapi, working on the bike, while Ingrid cooked dinner. You were loosening up a bit, and Mapi could tell you were getting closer to telling her what your mom had said on the phone. 
Your sister answered the door, thinking maybe it would be one of their teammates, coming to check on them after her rather abrupt withdrawal from the match. 
When Ingrid opened the door, though, it wasn’t her teammate on the front porch. It was your father. 
-------
Your father, who was significantly less at fault than your mom, but still complicit in how you’d been treated. Your father, who always worked too much to really have a say in anything regarding your life. Your father, who you’d always felt closer to, always trusted more. 
Your father, who loved you more than he’d ever admit. 
Ingrid knew what he was there for the minute she saw his face. She was proven right when she got you and Mapi from the garage and brought you into the family room. When he began to talk and explain what he wanted, began to try to convince you to come home. 
“I know Mom messed up. We both have, really. Our home isn’t the same without you though, Solstråle. I officially retired yesterday, which is why I wasn’t here sooner. I want to make things right. We weren’t good parents, but I’m here now, my darling. I want you to come back home. We can fix things with your mom. We can fix things at your school, get you back with your friends. We can be a family again.” 
We can be a family again. A few months ago, maybe that would have gotten you home. Maybe the temptation of your friends and Norway and the promise of being loved would have worked. Things were different now, though. You felt like you had a family here, or that you could. 
You’d always had a better relationship with your Dad. He loved all the outdoorsy activities you did, and though he’d been busy with work practically your whole life, the little time you spent together was always nice. Him retiring would ensure one sane person was home with you, that it wouldn’t just be you and your mom. And maybe you would have said yes, if you hadn’t seen the fear in Ingrid’s eyes, and decided it was because she wanted you to stay. She wanted you here, you told yourself. You wanted to be where you were wanted. And that wasn’t Norway, not with your mom. 
“No.” you said simply. 
“Solstråle,” your father began, with an exasperated sigh. 
“No. I appreciate you coming here, and I appreciate you caring but it’s too late. It’s not enough, and it’s too late. Mom doesn’t want me home. She made that clear on the phone today. I don’t want to be where I’m not wanted. I don’t want to go back to Norway.” 
Next to you, Mapi, who had been silent this whole time, squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. 
Your Dad shifted uncomfortably in his seat. You got the idea he thought this would be easier, which made sense. You hadn’t put up any fight when they’d sent you to Spain, and your Dad hadn’t expected any fight now. 
“Take a day or two. Think about it. For me?” 
Ingrid and Mapi wanted to snap that you didn’t owe him anything and he was in no place to ask you for anything, but they didn’t want to cause any more conflict than was necessary. Besides, you could handle yourself. 
“I’ve made my decision but if you want to hear me repeat myself in two days, that’s fine.” You said calmly. Ingrid bit back a laugh, but Mapi smiled openly. 
Your Dad didn’t seem phased, to his credit. “I’d like to talk to you both. Alone.” He directed that at the older girls, and you took the opportunity to flee upstairs, far away from the man that was… doing nothing but confusing you about your feelings towards your parents. 
Your Dad didn’t stay for much longer, giving your sister a little speech about encouraging you to “make the right decision,” and why the right thing would be sending you home with him. 
It left your sister with a bit to think about, her parents often making her rethink her decisions. Mapi could sense this turmoil, but she didn’t say anything, knowing Ingrid would come to her. Ingrid was completely silent as her and Mapi went to clean up the kitchen from dinner, allowing you space and time upstairs to process.  
After a few minutes, though, Ingrid spoke up. 
“Are you sure we’re making the right decision?” Ingrid asked, turning to Mapi as she finished putting away the dishes. 
“We aren’t making a decision. Your sister is.” Mapi reasoned. “Besides, Ingrid, you said it yourself. Solstråle shouldn’t be around your mom. There are no real, tangible reasons why she shouldn’t stay here.” 
“My dad had a couple.” Ingrid said skeptically. 
“Okay. Why should Solstråle go back to Norway?” Mapi asked, taking a seat at the counter across from her girlfriend. Ingrid sighed, and began to list off the reasons her father had given her. 
It was, of course, at this moment that you came down the stairs to fill up your water. This moment, the worst possible moment, as Ingrid tried to convince herself that you should stay, while inadvertently convincing you that she didn’t want you to stay. You froze in the hall, just out of sight, after hearing your name when Mapi asked her question. It was a miracle you stayed silent and on your feet, as every fear you still harbored about being a burden to Ingrid and Mapi was, apparently, proved to be true. 
“She doesn’t have friends here. She doesn’t speak Spanish very well. We’re both busy athletes, and she is… not easy. We’d have our hands full. We are young, and we aren’t her parents. I’m her sister, not her mom. She needs help, and I’m not sure how to convince her to get it. My mom and dad can get her back on track better than I can.” 
Ingrid was simply restating what her father had said. None of it she agreed with, none of it felt true. You didn’t hear her tell Mapi that, though. No, you quietly crept back upstairs, and sat on your bed numbly. Your stupid bed that she’d bought for you. In the stupid room she’d redecorated. With the absurd presents she’d gotten you. All of it wasn’t true. All of it was a lie. She didn’t want you here, how could you have ever let yourself be convinced that she did? Just like that, with only a few sentences overheard, every ounce of trust you’d begun to place in your sister had evaporated. They were downstairs, talking about how they didn’t want you, after spending so long lying and saying they did. 
It should have been confusing, this contradiction. But it wasn’t, because you’d spent your whole life feeling unwanted. And what is a few days of being told something against 18 years of being told something the complete opposite? Your mom had been right. Ingrid had come to her senses. You weren’t wanted here. Your Dad said he wanted to fix things, and though that was hardly believable to you, you’d go back. Maybe you weren’t wanted anywhere, but you’d go back to Norway, where no one cared what you did as long as you didn’t get in trouble. You supposed they didn’t really care here, either, they’d just been pretending to. It had all been an act, probably to spare your feelings, but an act nonetheless. You ignored that it didn’t make sense. You pretended that the complete contradictions in what they’d been telling you and how they’d been acting didn’t exist. Because you’d rather convince yourself then be convinced by them. You’d rather hurt yourself than let them hurt you first. You’d take the first step. You’d make it easy, and you’d go. 
Very suddenly, you couldn’t stand to be in this house, this room for a second longer. You pulled out your phone, and told your dad you’d reconsidered. You took a few calming breaths, preparing yourself to rid your sister of the burden that was taking care of you, apparently. You shouldn’t be surprised by this. You'd been right, the whole time, to not trust her when she said she wanted you here. She didn’t. Of course she didn’t.
Doubt swirlied around in your head. Nothing made sense, nothing made any sense. There had always been one constant in your life, though. And that was being unwanted. Ingrid didn’t want you. Ingrid couldn’t want you. It was too good to be true. 
You stomped down the stairs, hearing Ingrid and Mapi’s voices grow quiet upon your approach. You assumed they’d been talking about you, and they had. About finding you a therapist. Not about wanting you to go. 
You entered the kitchen, startling both girls with the hard look on your face. “I’m going back to Norway.” You asked, voice monotone, but shaking dangerously as you regarded your sister and her girlfriend. 
“What?” Ingrid asked, thinking she must have misheard you. 
“I am going back to Norway. I texted Dad.” You turned to leave, but Mapi grabbed your wrist, spinning you back around. 
“What the hell are you talking about?” She asked. You could only glare at her.  
“You said you wanted to stay, solstråle, I don’t understand…” Ingrid said, trailing off. 
“You don’t want me here, Ingrid, and I don’t want to be here.” 
“Of course we want you here,” Ingrid began, growing more and more confused with each venomous word that you spewed at her. 
You wrenched your arm out of Mapi’s grasp and stepped towards your sister, your outstretched hand connected with her chest as you shoved her backwards. 
“Oye!” Mapi shouted, getting in between the two of you. You were beside yourself with rage, suddenly. Why had she lied? Why had she gotten your hopes up? 
“No. You. Don’t. Stop lying, both of you.” You pushed Mapi away from you then, ignoring the angry tears that had begun to well in your eyes. “You don’t want me here, you think I’d do better in Norway. I don’t speak Spanish, I don’t have any friends,  I’m too much work, you are young and you don’t need a teenager to take care of. I’m mean and quiet and stubborn and my own fucking mother doesn’t love me. I heard you earlier Ingrid, you don’t need to lie. I’m used to it. You don’t want me. Stop pretending you do.”
At some point during your speech, Mapi and Ingrid understood what had happened. You’d overheard something out of context, clearly. And it was evident that you’d reverted back to your original belief that they didn’t want you. It hurt them, how easily you’d been convinced. And suddenly, they weren’t confused and they weren’t angry that you’d pushed them. Their faces softened, and they inched closer to you and you hated it. Because everything inside of you was screaming to believe what you knew what they were about to say, to let yourself fall into their arms, for good this time. To trust them. 
You couldn’t. You couldn’t be hurt again. It would kill you. 
You stepped backwards, and both girls stopped moving. It was Ingrid that spoke first, her voice low and soothing. 
“Solstråle, I don’t believe any of that. Dad said all that, to try to convince us to let you go back to Norway. We want you here. I know it’s hard for you to believe us, honey, but we do. More than anything, we want you to stay.” 
You shook your head frantically, teardrops hitting the floor under you. “No. No.” 
Mapi nodded, stepping a bit closer. “Yes, mi sol. We want you here. We love you, and we want you to stay.”
“No, stop!” You shouted. Ingrid was crying now, and you tried not to care. “You don’t mean that, you can’t mean that. Please, stop lying, this is too confusing, and it hurts too much, please. Just let me go.” 
You didn’t mean you wanted them to let you go back to Norway. You wanted them to let you go. The tension in the air thickened at this, as both of them realized what you meant. 
“No. I won’t do that. You’re staying here, with me. Here, where you are loved, and wanted. You’re not going anywhere, you aren’t allowed to.” Ingrid said, carelessly wiping a tear off her cheek as she stepped closer to you. 
Mapi stepped closer, too. “Nena, I promise you. On everything I love. On my parents, on football, on Ingrid. I want you to stay. Please.” The emotion in the defender’s voice startled you, and very suddenly, all of the fight had gone out of you, all of the anger. 
You wiped your eyes like a child. Because really, that was the part of you crying. “Why?” You cried. “Why do you want me? No one wants me.” 
Mapi shook her head, for once at a loss for what to say, as Ingrid let out a rough sob at your words. “How could we not? You’re my baby sister, Solstråle. You are kind, funny, and caring. You’re a good person, honey. You are good, and we love you.” 
It was quiet as you heaved in a few breaths, looking between both girls as you tried to decide what was true and what was false. And, ultimately, when you made your decision, it was because you were too tired to do anything else. Too exhausted of hating yourself to continue punishing yourself. Too exhausted of not letting yourself believe that you were worthy of love. Because you craved it, so deeply inside of you. And as much as you didn’t want to, and as much as you wished you didn’t care, you did. 
You are good, Ingrid had said. And if you were good, you could let yourself be loved. 
“Do you promise?” You asked, your voice cracking at the same time Ingrid and Mapi felt their hearts break for the 10th time today, at how completely disbelieving you sounded. 
“I promise.” Ingrid said. You looked between her and Mapi silently, and Ingrid took a hesitant step towards you, before Mapi pulled her back, shaking her head slightly. You needed to go to them. You needed to decide, all by yourself. 
It was the desperation in your sister’s voice that really got you, the tears in her eyes. And maybe it was also the desperation inside yourself, too,  and the ache in your heart that you knew you didn’t need to carry anymore. You wrapped your arms tight around your abdomen, and prepared yourself to say the most vulnerable, most terrifying words you had ever said, and might ever say. 
“I want to stay with you guys.” 
The words were barely out of your mouth before you were being squished into Ingrid’s arms, Mapi’s quickly following. Both of them hugged you tight, giving you the comfort you had been trying to give yourself. You didn’t need to do that, anymore. They would do it for you. 
You wouldn’t have to do any of the things you’d spent a long time doing alone, alone anymore. 
It had been years and years of wishing you had a family that loved you, thinking you’d give anything for a family that cared about you again. It turned out you didn’t need to give anything. You could just… have it. You just deserved it. 
-------
def not the end of my girl sol ☀️ we'll see more of her... soon ish :)
hope everyone enjoyed this little series <3 I love and appreciate you all very much
also... i was 🤏 this close to leaving part 4 on a cliffhanger where mr. engen shows up but the second part wouldn't have been long enough and i am much too nice
765 notes · View notes
inuyashaluver · 2 months
Note
can you do reader is very body conscious but lessi helps her? lyy
you’re beautiful - alessia russo
alessia russo x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
description: in which your girlfriend wishes you could see yourself the way she does
warnings: self loathing, insecurity, tears, slightly angsty?
a/n: YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT, MY LOVES, thank you for the request, love you, i hope this lived up to expectations because im getting in my head again 😭❤️
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you and your girlfriend, alessia, had a love so pure, it was sickeningly sweet.
people may say that the term ‘soulmates’ is overused, but alessia russo was in fact your soulmate.
she was your better half, a true soul connection that is truly authentic and genuinely profound.
this girl had you wrapped around her finger and it was very much mirrored for you. the two of you would do anything for each other, without a second thought clouding your mind.
you and alessia met years ago in your youth, forming a close bond with the blonde unexpectedly.
alessia in her younger years was quite shy, finding it hard to put herself out there and make friends. whereas, you on the other hand, were outgoing, always the first person to approach when someone looked like they needed a friend.
and that’s what you did. when you and alessia joined the england youth football team, you watched as alessia, wide eyed and nerve ridden, clutched her training top in her hand, you’d been told to find a partner for warm ups.
and you, with your mischievous grin and kind eyes, walked over to alessia and nudged her with your shoulder. “i’m (y/n)” you whisper, alessia looks over at you in surprise, sending you a grateful smile, “i’m alessia” she whispers back.
“you have beautiful eyes, alessia” you grin, alessia cheeks fill with pink, looking down at the pitch with a little laugh before looking back up at you.
“you have a pretty smile” alessia breathes out, you smile brightly at her, offering her a piece of gum while you conversed, unbeknowingly becoming a part of your routine that lasted for years.
you and alessia navigated the ups and downs of childhood together, forming an unbreakable bond.
the more you talked and hung out, the more you realised how perfect you were for each other. and so, at 17, you and alessia started dating, you, as usual taking the lead that alessia was very grateful for.
“russo, i think it’s time we date” you say simply, causing alessia to choke on air while the two of you walked around the pitch. “what?” she mutters, her cheeks bright pink when you interlaced your fingers together.
“i really like you, lessi,” you say earnestly, giving her a charming smile that made her heart leap out of her chest.
“i really like you too” she breathes out, both of you now looking a little sheepish, giving little squeezes of your hands while you looked at each other.
that’s when alessia closed the gap and pulled you into a kiss, you gasp in surprise against her lips, your hand moving to cradle her cheek as you pulled her closer.
it was a little clumsy at first but you both quickly found a rhythm, feeling familiar yet foreign all at the same time.
alessia’s hand makes its way to your bicep, squeezing it gently and smiling against you. eventually when the two of you pulled apart, you both broke into little fits of giggles, resting your foreheads against each other as your breath intermingled with each other. the promise of forever lingering in the air.
everyone saw how genuine your connection was, you brought out alessia’s confidence, alessia brought out your calm side. a perfect balance working together in harmony. the amount of respect, love and admiration for each other never went unnoticed by the two of you.
you had always played at arsenal while alessia played at manchester united, ecstatic when she decided to transfer to be closer to you.
you’d always been a woso couple favourite, the amount of edits under both of your names were insane. it only grew as alessia transferred. but something that grew in small but visible amounts, was hate.
it was inevitable, you were both in the public eye and people could be truly awful when they wanted to be. you tried not to look at it but it was incredibly hard when it was directed at you.
alessia was perfect and you could say that with your chest, and everyone else thought that. so people loved to tell you that you weren’t good enough. you weren’t fit enough.
people claiming you were using the girl even though you both have incredibly successful, established careers that no one could deny.
but it didn’t matter, you were scrutinised by a very tiny amount of people but it had a large impact. you thought you would be used to it by now but these comments for some reason just stuck with you.
you stood in front of the mirror in your shared apartment, suddenly your daily training uniform feeling tight on your body.
no matter how you moved it, it didn’t feel right. your eyes welled with tears as your eyes took in your appearance. you felt awful. you shook it off, making your way to alessia who was currently preparing protein shakes for the car.
you snuck up behind her, wrapping your arms around her middle as your chin rested on her shoulder. she was always a little taller but it didn’t matter.
“hey, babe” alessia grins, leaning back into you, “hi, lessi baby” you kiss her shoulder sweetly. she flipped around in your embrace, kissing your lips gently a couple of times, making you giggle against her. she relishes at the sound, pecking the tip of your nose before ushering you to the car.
she drove with her hand gently squeezing your thigh before you both arrived. you were feeling fine up until then, but as soon as the two of you got into training, you felt off, the comments flashing in your mind.
alessia noticed a change in your behaviour. your usual confident and vibrant self was seemingly preoccupied. you trained with her like normal, giggling and chatting but your smile never fully reached your eyes, alessia knew you better than anyone, she could see you declining.
“hey, you okay?” alessia grabs your hand when you enter the change room after training, pulling you close to her before you tried to walk away.
“yeah, baby, i’m good” you smile, kissing her sweetly, she melts into you, kissing you back with a satisfied hum before she pulled away from you.
“don’t distract me, missy” she chuckles, pinching your cheek teasingly before she wrapped her arms around you.
she pulls you close, tucking your head under her chin as she gently swayed you from side to side. you lean further into her, feeling a lump in your throat growing, desperately hoping you don’t look like you’re going to cry.
“can we go home, please?” you say softly, alessia frowns a little at that, “‘course we can,” kissing your head tenderly before dragging you to your cubby.
she sits you down, helping you into one of her hoodies before helping you change from your boots.
“russo spoils you, (y/l/n)” katie teases, “you don’t deserve this little angel” katie laughs, you knew she meant well but it sent a knife to your heart.
you throw her a pathetic smile, looking down as alessia shooed katie away, smiling up at you reassuringly, kissing your knee gently before moving up.
she quickly packs your stuff away, as well as her own and quickly changing, claiming you both could shower at home.
she essentially dragged you out of the room, opening the door for you to her car, doing your seatbelt for you and kissing you sweetly before she went to her own side.
you really didn’t deserve her.
the whole ride home, you stared out of the window, only really contributing to conversation when necessary. alessia was truly worried at this point, but not wanting to push you.
she cautiously grabbed your hand and interlaced them together, worried you’d pull away but you tightened your grip. she sent you a smile even though you weren’t looking at her, so instead she kissed the back of your hand. letting you know she was there, like always.
you both got inside and you trudged to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. alessia’s heart broke a little, you’d usually shower together in times like this, but you didn’t want anything to do with alessia she felt. so she left you alone..sort of.
she placed her ear on the door when she didn’t hear the shower start, instead hearing a heart wrenching sob escaping your throat. she couldn’t handle it anymore.
“baby, open the door, please” alessia pleaded, your sobs not relenting, “(y/n/n), come on, love” alessia tries again, hearing you cry and feeling her heart breaking. she started to panic until she heard the door unlock, not wasting any time and making her way inside.
“hey, hey, hey” she coos, bending down to your level when she sees you cry on the floor, you can’t help but cry seeing her, her own tears streaming down her face when she saw you.
“what’s wrong, love?” she asked softly, wiping your tears from your cheeks with the pads of her thumbs.
you tried to open your mouth to speak but nothing came out, her hands made their way to the sides of your neck as she directed your eyes to hers.
“breathe, baby” her thumbs brush against the underside of your jaw, you try to mimick her breathing, little hiccups resulting from your sobs as you and alessia looked at each other tearfully.
she didn’t know why you were crying but all the pain you felt, she felt.
you both sat there for a second, just in silence with occasional sniffles feeling the room. alessia waited until you were ready, her patience unlimited when it comes to you.
“lessi” you choke out, “i’m here, i’m here, baby” alessia smiles sadly, moving to kiss your cheek gently, only making another teardrop from your duct.
“why, though? you shouldn’t be with me” you hiccup, her eyebrows furrow, looking at you confused, she tries to speak up but you cut her off, “alessia, you deserve so much better” you sniffle, alessia looks slightly furious.
“i don’t deserve better, i deserve you, you’re more than anything i deserve” she says sternly, “baby, what happened?” she tries again, “i hate my body, i hate the way i look, i hate that someone as perfect as you has to be seen with me” you sniff, alessia looks almost offended, her hands dropping from your face to grab your hands, both of you sitting on the floor.
“(y/n) (y/l/n)” she starts, “my baby, your beauty is out of this world” she says adoringly, “you’re absolutely gorgeous, you’re so kind, you’re so strong, you’re perfect” she smiles, moving one of her hand up to cradle your cheek again. “who put this stupid idea in you head?” alessia tucks a stray peice of hair behind your ear,
“online” you admit quietly, alessia had enough at that, she lifts you up off the floor, your legs wrapping around her waist as she carried you to the bedroom.
she placed you down with a sweet kiss to your forehead, standing behind you in front of the mirror. you shy your gaze away, looking down at the floor, unable to look at yourself.
“look up, my love” she whispers, kissing your temple as her hands held your hips. you exhale deeply before looking in the mirror, making eye contact with alessia through the mirror.
“i love your legs, they’re so strong, they’ve walked through challenges, through accomplishments. they let you walk to me, they let you run, they’re perfect” she whispers in your ear, a frown was still evident on your face so alessia continued.
“your waist, your hips, i love holding it whenever i can, i love feeling you breathing, knowing you’re with me,” she smiles, kissing your cheek, a little hint of a smile playing at your lips that had her brightening.
“next your arms, also very strong” she winks at you, making you huff out a little laugh, “whenever your arms are around me, i feel so safe, i love when you squeeze me when you get excited, they also have your hands attached and we know why i love your hands” she teases, you laugh at that, throwing your head back with a smile when she chuckles, placing a little kiss on your neck,
“i love your neck, i love your shoulders, i love your pretty face, your gorgeous eyes that light up when you get excited, and your smile” she breathes out,
“you know how much i love your smile, it brightens up the whole room, my beautiful, beautiful girl” she says a little tearfully. you turn around and just look up at her, “i love you” she says softly, that’s when you pull her into a bone crushing hug.
“i love you, i love you so much” you sniff, kissing her cheek repeatedly before burying your face into the base of her neck.
she hugs you tightly, relieved that you felt better, “don’t listen to any of the idiots online, baby” she says into your hair, her hands rubbing comforting circles over your (her) hoodie.
you nod into her skin, letting her drag you to the shower where she really showed you some appreciation about just how beautiful you are.
you’d finally woken up to yourself through the help of alessia, you’re absolutely gorgeous no matter what anyone says. it was a relief for everyone when you and alessia came to game day as loved up as ever.
as soon as alessia got out of the car, you latched onto her back, making the girl laugh brightly as she walked with you bumping into her every two seconds, attempting to keep your bodies close together.
“baby, i can’t walk” she laughs, “fine,” you huff, hopping onto her back, her hands instantly catch under your thighs as she smiles brightly when she feels you peck her cheek repeatedly as she walked you both into the emirates.
“lovebirds” leah teases, you wink at her and nod, making the older girl send you a playful grin as alessia continued to carry you into the change rooms.
you and alessia play exceptionally well, assisting her in a goal that had the crowd roaring. you bound over to her with a bright grin as she held her arms open to you, lifting you up triumphantly, feeling more proud about you rather than the goal.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill, just pretend it’s you!! ily tooney
Tumblr media
liked by ellatoone and 44,232 others
alessia: the most perfect human being alive
view all comments
yourname: yeah, you
↳ alessia: we’ve been through this, little one
↳ yourname: oh please, you aren’t much taller
↳ leahwilliamsonn: oh, you’re so cute
↳ yourname: what the fuck
↳ alessia: so so so cute
593 notes · View notes
worseforwords · 3 months
Text
The Arrangement
(Alessia Russo x Reader)
Chapter I of Marshmallow
Tumblr media
“Sweetheart? Can you hear me?” your mom’s voice cackled through the phone. “Take your phone off your ear, mum, you’ve facetimed me,” you chuckled. “Oh, right. Hi, darling, lovely to SEE you,” she giggled at her own joke. “How are you, love? And where are you? I don’t recognise that wall behind you,” she inquired. “I’m in the changing room at Arsenal, you know, my job.” “Right, ‘course. Everything alright? How’s your g-” “Yeah, everything’s good,” you quickly interrupted her, hoping no one in the changing room caught on to what she was about to say. “I have to head to training soon, mum. Did you want anything from me?” “Right, busy woman, no time for chit-chat with her mum. Your dad and I were just wondering if we could come visit you anytime soon. We haven’t seen you since Christmas, and we would both really love to meet your girlfriend!” She said that last part with a bit too much excitement, and you were sure you saw some heads snap your way from the corner of your eye. “Ehh, yeah, I’m just a little busy at the moment with football, so I’m not sure when I’ll be free,” you said as you quickly turned down the volume of your phone. “I know, darling, but I noticed there’s no match scheduled the weekend after the next one, so you’ll be free then, right?” Another disadvantage of being a professional athlete: usually having a very public schedule. “Right, yeah, I think so. I’ll call you after training, mum.”
You hung up after both of you exchanged goodbyes and you immediately noticed a few eyes on you. One pair belonged to a smirking Katie, who quickly plumped herself down next to you. “What was that I heard? Does somebody have a new girlfriend?” “What the hell, why haven’t I heard about this?” Leah joined in. “Lotte, did you know?” Your roommate Lotte shook her head. “Haven’t seen or heard anyone at our house.” “How is that even possible?” Victoria wondered out loud. “Is it a long-distance thing?” Caitlin joined in on the conversation. By this point, you were surrounded by your teammates, gazing at you, awaiting answers, and your head was spinning, trying to come up with anything to explain your situation.
Ultimately you decided on just telling them the truth, knowing full well a lie wasn’t getting you out of this situation. “There is no girlfriend,” you said quietly. Clearly, your answer wasn’t satisfactory as everyone kept staring at you frantically. “My parents kept asking me when I would finally bring someone home because my brother and sister are both happily married or engaged homeowners starting their own families. They keep telling me not to wait until it’s too late. At Christmas, when they started again, I finally snapped. I lied and told them I have a girlfriend.” You took a quick breath before you continued. “Only it backfired because now they won’t stop asking me about her, and apparently, I have to find a girlfriend within the next week or so.” You let your head fall into your hands dramatically. There was a short silence as everyone around you processed what you had just told them. Then a loud shriek as Katie burst out laughing. “Oh boy, you’ve gotten yourself into some trouble, mate!” she shouted. “Good luck with that.”
The next few minutes were filled with everyone either light-heartedly teasing your situation or attempting to play matchmaker and find you a girlfriend, which you knew was futile with only 10 days to go. This was precisely why you avoided going on dates. All the unwarranted attention and people meddling in your life, you didn't need it. You’d rather concentrate on the love of your life that you did have some control over: football. Fortunately, Kim took her captaincy very seriously and summoned everyone out of the changing room for training to begin, but not before sending you a sympathetic smile as you mouthed a quick “thank you” to her.
Training went by swiftly, and afterward, some of the girls gathered at Beth and Viv’s for dinner. You sat on the sofa with Laura and Viv as Alessia was directing Vic in the kitchen, and Beth was setting the table. “So, Y/N, are you going to tell your parents the truth about your girlfriend... or lack thereof?” Laura asked. “I don’t know; it’ll be so embarrassing. And I definitely won’t be able to hold off on them trying to set me up with their neighbour’s son, who is studying to be a doctor, or my mum’s colleague’s daughter who’s in law school.” You imitated your mom as you talked about the people your parent wanted to set you up with before dramatically making a barf gesture. “But what else can you do?” Viv asked. “Let’s see... Fake my own death and start a new life elsewhere? Start studying robotics and learn to design my own robot girlfriend? Pretend I’ve got short-term memory loss and have forgotten who my own girlfriend is?”
“Okay, I need to join in on this, scoot,” Beth waved her hands, gesturing for you to move over. “The fact that you thought of building a robot girlfriend before considering finding an actual girlfriend is insane,” she said, almost like she was scolding you. “I get it,” mumbled Viv as Beth immediately sent her a stern glare to which she responded with by blowing her a quick kiss. “I don’t want a relationship right now. Besides, 10 days is way too little time to find someone,” you said, ignoring their antics. “Fine, have it your way, go with the robot. Vic can help you; she’s studied maths,” she joked as she got up again. “Excuse me,” Vic got involved from the kitchen. “Which of my subjects do you think is about robot girlfriends?” She giggled. “I say go with the Dory thing.”
“Vic, stir this sauce for a bit, please,” Alessia spoke sternly as she turned towards all of you. “Okay, I can’t believe no one has thought of this, but the solution is very simple. You just find someone who can pretend to be your girlfriend for the weekend your parents visit,” she explained as all of you listened. “Yes! Less, that’s a perfect plan,” Beth exclaimed. “But who should it be? Maybe you can hire an actor!” She added as you seriously considered this option for a moment. “Hm, I don’t know, seems kind of risky if they don’t really know me,” you said. 
“Yeah, you should probably pick a friend, someone you’ve known for a while and who knows what you’re up to these days,” Laura stated. “Sooo, maybe a teammate?” Vic suggested. “Yes!” Beth shouted again. “A teammate. But who? Obviously not someone who is openly dating someone else already, so me and Viv are out,” she then stated more calmly. “Laura and I can’t make it either, we’re going out with the Aussies, remember?” Vic asked as Laura nodded.
A silence fell as everyone sort of stared at Alessia, who was too focused on her cooking to notice. “Less?” Beth caught her attention, making her jump a little when she noticed everyone’s hopeful gazes fixated on her. “Are you available?” she asked. “Oh yeah sure, I’ll do it.” Alessia sent you a quick smile before continuing to make dinner. “That settles it then,” Beth said, giving you no say in the matter whatsoever. If you were being honest, though, you were just glad you had found somewhat of a solution to your problem. Besides, you didn’t know Alessia that well, the two of you usually being in different friend groups within the team and you had been intrigued to get to know her better for a while now.
The next few days in training everyone was mostly focussed on the game ahead. Some new pieces of gossip flooded the changing room and much to your delight, you and your love life were left unspoken of. It almost seemed a bit too good to be true, and you were now starting to worry it had all been a joke that you took too seriously. After all, the whole plan was a bit insane, definitely unlike anything you had ever done before. Were you just too desperate to notice that it was all banter?
"Everything alright, Y/N?” Alessia's voice jolted you from your mental spirals. “You seem a bit distracted.” “Yeah, all good. My mind just wandered for a second.” You feigned a smile. “Okay.” She returned the smile. “Hey, Alessia,” you began before she could exit the changing room. “Can I talk to you for a second?” “Yeah, of course. What’s up?” She settled herself beside you.
“So, you know about our crazy fake girlfriend plan, and—” “Correction, it’s my crazy plan, not ‘our’. My idea.” She interjected with a satisfied expression. “Right, your crazy plan. Anyhow, I realise you were put on the spot when Beth asked if you were available. I just wanted to say you don’t have to do it; I can find someone else,” you spoke hesitantly. “Oh no, I want to do it. Unless you’d prefer someone else, of course.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” you quickly clarified. “Alright then, let’s do it.” You offered a shy smile. “Ehh, I hope that’s not how you planned on asking me,” she giggled. You shot her an ‘are you serious?’ look. She responded with what you assumed was her best ‘yes, I’m serious, how dare you even question that’ expression. “Give me one second.”
You darted around the corner, returning a few seconds later with a ring made from bright blue kinesiology tape. “Alessia Russo, will you do me the honour of being my fake girlfriend for the weekend?” you proposed, getting down on one knee before her. “Yes, YES, a thousand times yes!” She dramatically pretended to swoon as you slid the makeshift ring onto her finger.
“Right, so my parents will be visiting from Friday night until Sunday, most likely,” you swiftly changed the subject, attempting to avoid any blush creeping onto your cheeks. “But you don’t have to be there for the entire duration, of course. If you could just pop in for a bit on Saturday, that would be great,” you suggested. “Oh, well I don’t really have any other plans because I assumed this would be an all-weekend kind of thing,” she replied softly, and you felt the warmth in your cheeks intensify. “And Dan is out of town anyway.”
Right, Dan. Her boyfriend. You were aware of him, you had met him – this wasn’t new information. So why did you suddenly feel a knot tightening in your stomach at Alessia mentioning him? “So, what do you want me to be like?” She brought you back from your thoughts. “What do you mean?” You asked. “I mean, how do you want me to be around your parents? We’ve got to impress them, right?” She explained. “Oh, just be yourself. They’ll love you. I know they will,” you assured her as she got up from the bench, ready to go warm up.
“Whatever happened in here?” Leah asked as she entered the changing room, followed by some other girls, right after Alessia had left. “What do you mean?” You inquired. “Well, Less just almost walked into me; she was all flustered and smiley, and now here you are, looking all flustered and upset,” she explained. “Nothing happened. I’m not upset. Just a bit nervous about my parents visiting and everything,” you lied. Either Leah didn’t notice or she decided to let you off the hook, but either way, she didn’t ask any further questions about it. As one of your best friends, Leah knew you very well, and she also knew that questioning you in a room full of people was the worst thing she could do to you. 
“So is Less still coming?” Beth inquired. “Yes,” you mumbled, not wanting everyone to get involved again, but with no success. “Less?” Katie jumped in. “Why would she come?” Luckily, Beth came to your aid and explained the whole situation to everyone there so you didn’t have to.
“That’s a great plan,” Katie finally spoke. “But how will we make it believable?” “I’m sorry, we?” You tried to interrupt. “We should quiz them!” Beth suggested loudly, ignoring you entirely. “What is happening?” You mumbled to Leah who just laughed at you in response. “Yes! Lotte, can you come up with some questions about Less, and Leah, you can do the same for Y/N.” 
Somehow, everyone had agreed on the quiz idea, and once again, you had no say in it. On Wednesday night, a few of the girls gathered at Lotte and your place to prepare you and Alessia for the weekend. The anticipation in the air was as thick as the excitement before a big match. Tables were set up, and a stack of papers with questions lay in the centre. Lotte, with her mischievous smile, and Leah, ever ready for a good laugh, were the architects of this grand interrogation.
You, Alessia, and the rest of the team settled in around the living room. The atmosphere was a mix of nerves and amusement, everyone eager to see how this plan would unfold. Beth, who put on an oversized blazer and a bright red Arsenal bowtie for the occasion, took charge, announcing the rules with a theatrical flourish.
“Alright, everyone! Welcome to the Ultimate Fake Girlfriend Quiz Night!” She exclaimed, earning a round of laughter. “We’ve got questions about Y/N for Alessia and questions about Alessia for Y/N. Let’s see how well our fake couple knows each other.” The room erupted into cheers. Lotte, holding a list of questions about Alessia, winked at you. Leah, armed with questions about you, looked equally mischievous.
The first round began, and Leah fired off questions about you. Alessia, to everyone’s surprise, answered with remarkable accuracy. “Alright, Alessia,” Leah said with a smirk, “what’s Y/N’s guilty pleasure snack?”
Alessia pondered for a moment, a playful glint in her eyes. “Chocolate-covered pretzels. She hides them in the back of a cabinet, but I always find them.” Laughter filled the room. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at Alessia, impressed and slightly amused that she had picked up on your secret indulgence. Apparently her close friendship with your roommate had given her quite an advantage.
Lotte, taking her turn, quizzed you about Alessia’s life. “What’s Alessia’s weirdest talent?” she asked with a sly grin. You thought for a moment, realising Alessia had shared a few quirky skills in the changing room. “She can do this weird thing with her tongue, like roll it into a clover shape. It’s bizarrely impressive.”
Alessia blushed, seemingly surprised that you remembered such a minor detail. The room erupted into cheers again. As the quiz progressed, Alessia consistently demonstrated an uncanny knowledge of your habits and likes. It seemed like she had been paying much more attention than you thought.
The highlight came when Leah, with a devious smile, presented the final question: “What’s Y/N’s weirdest habit in the morning?” Alessia, grinning confidently, answered, “She talks to herself in the mirror while doing her hair. Full-on conversations with her own reflection.” Your face turned crimson, and a chorus of laughter echoed through the room. You shot Alessia a playful glare.
The quiz ended and the consensus was clear — Alessia and you knew each other surprisingly well, considering this was supposed to be a fake relationship. However, Katie, ever the provocateur, couldn’t resist stirring the pot.
She leaned forward with a teasing grin. “So, you two aced the quiz, but do you even have any chemistry?” Her question hung in the air, causing a collective intake of breath from the spectators. Alessia looked at you, a subtle uncertainty in her eyes. “Seriously, guys, you need to up your game. You look way too platonic.”
Your teammates, now fully invested in your fake romance, decided to play relationship coaches. “Alright, stand up,” Beth commanded. “Let’s see how you two handle physical proximity. Hug. Now.” You and Alessia exchanged a glance, both feeling a bit awkward. You hesitated for a moment before tentatively wrapping your arms around each other. The teammates observed and then erupted into a chorus of opinions.
“Too stiff!”
“More like you mean it!”
“Look into each other’s eyes, not the ceiling!”
You and Alessia shared an amused yet bewildered look. The teammates continued their analysis, discussing everything from hand-holding techniques to the positioning of your bodies. It was like a crash course in relationship theatrics. “Alright, sit down,” Beth commanded again. “You two are sitting too far apart. Scoot closer.”
As you and Alessia moved to sit side by side, Steph suggested, “Try a more casual touch. Like, Y/N, put your hand on Alessia’s leg.” Panic flashed across your face, but you complied, very carefully placing your hand on Alessia’s leg. The room erupted into laughter again.
“Okay, she said casual, Y/N. She’s not made of thin glass now is she?” Beth joked, and Alessia chuckled as you adjusted your grip, secretly wanting to disappear into the couch. The teammates continued to give advice, critiquing every move and gesture. Amidst the laughter and chaos, Laura suggested, “You guys should try the 36 Questions. You know, that study that makes people fall in love?”
That mention drew curious looks from you and Alessia. Beth explained, “People say you’ll fall in love if you answer them honestly with someone. It could help you two look more... well, in love.” The idea was met with a mix of enthusiasm and skepticism. “Homework for our fake couple!” Beth declared, and everyone laughed.
As the evening wound down, the teammates left your place. Everyone but Alessia, who offered to help you clean the place up. Lotte went to bed, leaving you and your now approved ‘fake girlfriend’ with a newfound list of relationship do’s and don’ts, along with the prospect of a homework assignment that promised to make your fake relationship more convincing.
“So… I guess we’ve got some homework to do,” you said, feeling very awkward all of a sudden now that it was just you two. You then realised you had never really hung out together without at least one other person being there. “Yeah, 36 questions,” she started as she grabbed her phone. “Do you believe in this?”
“No of course not,” you said, ever the sceptic. “But I do believe Katie is gonna murder us if we don’t do our homework. Both of you exchanged glances like, ‘Are we really doing this?’ and rolled your eyes in silent agreement that this was a bit of a silly experiment.
“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She read the first question from her phone, immediately gazing at the ceiling as if in thought about her answer. “I bet yours would be Michael Jordan,” you said. “Hey, I’m asking you about your answer not mine!” She giggled as she elbowed your shoulder. 
“Fine, let me think. Do they have to be alive?” You wondered. “I mean I guess it says ‘anyone’, so if you want to have dinner with a corpse, by all means,” she chuckled. “No, not like that, ew,” you now elbowed her. “I just mean I would love to have dinner with my grandma. She’s sacrificed so much for our family, but I only ever knew her as a child so I’ve never been able to thank her for it.” Still in thought you stared at your feet for a bit until you realised it had been quiet for a while in your living room. 
“Sorry,” you said, quickly looking up and finding Alessia’s eyes already on you with a look you couldn’t quite place. “I’ll just go with Beyoncé, she’d be a cool dinner guest,” you quickly changed your answer. “No, no, that was really sweet. I bet your grandma would love to have dinner with you too. And I’m sure she knew you’d be grateful,” she said softly, her eyes remaining on yours. “Yeah well, you just called her a corpse so that idea is kind of ruined for me now,” you teased. “No I didn’t!” She protested.
The first couple of questions were mostly light and you chuckled at each other’s silly answers. However, as you continued down the list, the questions became increasingly deep and personal and as eye-rolls turned into thoughtful pondering, you both found yourselves sharing way more than you had expected. 
Alessia’s responses were open and honest as she shared stories about her childhood dreams, the hurdles in her football journey, and her aspirations beyond the pitch. One question, in particular, struck a chord: “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?” Alessia’s response was heartfelt. “I’d want to be fearless. Not just on the field, but in life. There are times when I feel held back by my own doubts and fears. I’d love to face everything without that weight.”
Her openness made it easy for you to share your own dreams and fears. The conversation flowed easily, moving through topics of love, aspirations, and personal histories. It felt like something shifted between the two of you. Alessia was no longer just a teammate or a fake girlfriend to you. She was someone you could talk to, someone you felt a genuine connection with and you had a newfound appreciation for her.
By the time you had finished the first set of questions you finally looked at the time. “Oh my god, Alessia, it’s 2 am!” You both jumped up. Two hours had passed since everyone had left and you had an early training the next morning. “Really? How did that happen. I should run then,” she said.
“Hey, do you want to stay over?” You asked as you immediately noticed her questioning expression. “In the guest room I mean. Just cause we have an early training tomorrow and I don’t want you to be exhausted.” You quickly added. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” She smiled shyly at you. “Okay, be right back.” You stated as you sprinted towards your bedroom.
You returned a few minutes later with a bunch of stuff in your arms. “Here’s an unused toothbrush, towels are in the bathroom cabinet, and I didn’t know what you like to sleep in so here’s some shorts, joggers, a t-shirt and a hoodie. Wear whatever you want.” You rambled nervously as she chuckled. “Thank you Y/N. Good night.”
The next morning, your alarm blared, pulling you from the depths of sleep. Groggily, you stumbled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Training awaited, and as you yawned your way through the morning routine, the events of the previous night flashed in your mind. You couldn’t help but glance at Alessia, who was already up, seemingly more awake than you were. She flashed you a tired yet friendly smile. “Morning,” she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. “Morning,” you replied, trying to shake off the remnants of your dreams. The two of you exchanged a glance, a silent acknowledgment of the peculiar situation you found yourselves in.
As you headed to training together, you couldn’t ignore the amused glances from your teammates. Alessia, clad in your training gear because she hadn’t brought her own, was the target of playful banter. “Nice walk of shame, Alessia!” Katie teased, eliciting laughter from others. “You two look tired, looks like our chemistry experiments worked a little too wel!” Quipped Beth, pointing out the bags under both your eyes.
Training progressed as usual, but not without the occasional teasing from one of your teammates. You knew none of them really meant anything by it though. Everyone knew it was just a bit and that the two of you were no more than friends. And so did you, cause that was the deal, right? 
“You know,” Alessia began when the two of you were alone for a second after Katie asked her when you were planning your next sleepover, “despite all the teasing and the fake girlfriend stuff, I’m kind of enjoying getting to know you better.” You felt your cheeks starting to flush as you took in her genuine smile. “Yeah, me too. It’s strange how these things work out.” You tried your best to reciprocate her smile without blushing too hard. What on earth was happening to you?
The day went by swiftly as the prospect of having Alessia around as your fake girlfriend all weekend had you slowly spiral into a nervous wreck. When Friday afternoon finally arrived, you stood in front of the bathroom mirror as you went over the many things that could go wrong. What if your parents didn’t believe it? What if they did? What would that even mean? What if she never even showed up cause who were you to think she would do something like that for you? What if her boyfriend got mad? What if she suddenly started liking you, for real? What if she didn’t?
You splashed water in your face, desperately trying to stop your mind from spiralling, and more specifically to erase those last thoughts. Where was your mind coming up with all this none-sense? Was there something more to this? Another splash. No. None-sense. You groaned as you watched drops of water trickle down your face. 
“Y/N? Everything okay?” You heard Lotte’s voice call out from the other side of the locked bathroom door. “Less is here.” You inhaled a sharp breath as you felt a familiar knot form in your stomach. “Shit,” you mumbled to yourself. “Be right there!”
“You’re early,” is the first thing you said when you came out of the bathroom after quickly drying yourself off and fixing your hair. “Nice to see you too.” A kindly smiling Alessia appeared once you opened the door. “Thought I’d help you prepare before your parents show up. Hey, are you okay?” She gazed at you as if she was examining your current state. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, hi, thank you for being here.” You opened up your arms as an invitation for a hug which she accepted immediately.
“Allright, lovebirds, I’m out.” Lotte said, suitcase in hand as she hugged you both goodbye, leaving for a little romantic getaway with her boyfriend. “Have fun!” You both shouted at the same time as she closed the door behind herself.
You spent the next hour or so getting the house ready for your parent’s arrival and providing Alessia with all the necessary information on your family, as if you were doing a last minute study session for an exam.
Then, a knock on the door echoed through the house, signalling the arrival of your parents. A surge of nerves shot through you as you exchanged a quick glance with Alessia. You both took a deep breath, steeling yourselves for the upcoming performance. “Ready?” Alessia whispered, and you nodded, though your heart was doing a drumroll in your chest.
-> Chapter II
537 notes · View notes
desperate-gay · 3 months
Note
how bout a heated confession between r and kim little? i really want some kimmy fics 😔😭 my girl needs more love and attention 😔🙏🏻❤
Unexpected Confession
Kim Little x fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“You, my dear, are one of a kind!” Leah exclaims, grasping onto your shoulders as everyone cheers you on. You smile sheepishly while collecting all of the compliments with a light blush.
Arsenal had just won 4-2 against Chelsea with you scoring two goals back to back at the end of the second half. The whole team basically jumped on you when the final whistle blew, congratulating you while spewing how amazing you were the full ninety minutes.
“Our little miss innocent also showed some of her rough side with that tackle.”
“Katie, stay away from her, we can’t handle you rubbing your card reputation on our goal scorer.” Steph says, shielding you from the Irish woman by wrapping her arms around your front so her taller form blocks your view.
“Well thank you all for the many flattery remarks, but it wasn’t-”
“Y/l/n, a talk?” Kim interrupts, nodding her head toward the empty office.
The team all stand in silence, wondering why their player of the match is getting called away by the captain.
You look at her with a confused look when she announces your last name. The both of you are extremely close and friends outside of games, so when she announces your last name, you’re taken aback.
You quickly follow Kim into the room before she shuts the door with a gentle click and closes the blinds so none of the team can snoop around.
“I told Jonas to bench you for the upcoming game against Manchester.” The midfielder states with a stoic expression and her arms crossed.
“What? Why?”
“That tackle against Reiten was dangerous. Someone could have easily gotten hurt and you need to deal with the consequences.” She explains while avoiding your gaze, not being able to keep her captain facade up if she even takes a peek at your doe eyes.
“That’s so unfair! Russo made a late tackle but she’s not getting benched!” You exclaim, getting irritated at the sudden hostility directed at you.
“Your tackle was dangerous and could’ve cost you an injury. My decision is final.” Kim’s tone warns you it’s the end of the discussion, but you’re too pissed off to give her the satisfaction of an easy win.
As she goes to walk away, you quickly run in front of the door, blocking the older girl from exiting the room. Her eyebrow raises in a silent warning matching the unimpressed look on her face.
“No. You’re not just going to walk out of here without giving me a reason as to why I’m being benched.”
“I’ve already told you-“
“Don’t give me that bullshit excuse that it’s because of my tackle. Yes, it was a little late and that’s my fault but that is no reason not to let me play next week. So tell me the real reason why. Now.”
Kim now raises her eyebrows in surprise at your sudden demanding front. You’re not even sure where it came from because the way the captain is looking at you, you wish you could melt into the floor and never come back, but you simply just gulp and stand up straighter to keep strong.
“Do you really want to be talking to your captain like that?” She questions, cocking her head to the side while slowly walking closer to you, causing you to feel smaller and smaller at the girl's sharp gaze.
“I want the truth.” You say shakily, wiping your clammy hands up and down your tracksuit.
“I gave you the truth, but you can’t deal with it.”
“Why are you lying? Just tell me!” The rise in your voice shocks the other girl, you’re usually always the quiet, calm, and sweet person of the team but not when someone is continually being untruthful towards you.
“You could have gotten injured.” Kim admits halfheartedly, showing you she is still hiding something.
“I am fine. You have no right to take me off the team just because of something that could have happened. If you don’t tell me the real reason now, I am walking out of here and I don’t want you talking to me unless it is an explanation or an apology.”
After a minute or two of silence, you give up. With a scoff and a roll of your eyes, you begin to turn the door handle only to be stopped by an unexpected confession.
“It’s because I love you!”
Your body stays facing the door as you process what the Scottish woman has just said. You run through all the little dates the two of you had together, remembering how you were hoping it would be much more than just friendly, but also thinking that the girl just wasn’t into you like that.
“I should have never said that, it was quite inappropriate. You may leave now.” Kim sighs with one hand on her head and the other waving you off. Slowly, you begin to approach her pacing form.
“Kim.”
“You don’t have to stay. You’re dismissed.”
“Kimmy.”
“Seriously, go home. It was a mistake and I didn’t mean it.”
“I love you too.” You whisper, locking eyes with her when her head snaps up.
“You love me?” She asks in disbelief, making you smile at how quickly the older girl turns quiet.
You take a few steps forward so you’re now face to face with her. You hesitantly wrap your arms around her as your thumb smooths out the tension between her eyes.
“I do. And I’m hoping that your confession was real because if it isn’t, you will see a hole shaped me through that wall.” You joke, causing the both of you to giggle softly, breaking a little of the tension. The taller girl’s hands find a comfortable place on your hips while she continues to look at you with a smile.
“It was real. I have been in love with you for a while now and I wasn’t sure how to tell you. I guess being a jerk wasn’t the best way.” You laugh with a small shake of your head.
“No, it wasn’t, but you can make it up to me.” Your head tilts, looking at her with a bright smile. Once she starts to lean in, you do too, meeting her halfway just before she stops.
“May I?”
“You may.”
With the whisper of confirmation, Kim softly connects her lips to yours in a gentle kiss, showing you how much it means and what it means. Only ten seconds in, she goes to pull away, but you wrap your hands behind her neck and pull her back in.
“Too short.” You mumble against her slightly chapped lips, leaving her chuckling at your eagerness and pushing you closer to her by the small of your back.
Before things got too heated, you both decided to pull away even if you didn’t want to. Although the kiss ended, each other’s arms stayed hugging around the other, enjoying the closeness.
“Will you let me take you on a date, let’s say this Saturday night?”
“I don’t know, I’m supposed to go out with this one girl who constantly takes me out on non-romantic dates because she’s sure we’re just friends.” You sigh in fake disappointment, letting the midfielder roll her eyes at your antics.
You gasp when she slams her lips into yours in a quick but fierce kiss before pulling back with a satisfied look.
“Let me make it romantic.” Kim offers with a charming smile, wooing you fully into saying yes even if you don’t need convincing.
“I’d be an idiot to say no.”
After a few minutes of little kisses, giggles, and talking, the both of you go to open the door only to be met with multiple falling bodies. A sheepish Kyra, Katie, and Beth look up from the floor with guilty smiles while the rest of the team turn back around and continue in their cubbies like they also weren’t eavesdropping.
“Everyone get dressed and leave unless you want to come in extra early tomorrow for some extra laps.” Kim announces with her captain expression, making everybody scramble.
The Scottish woman watches with a stone-cold expression before turning to look at you with a soft smile. She leans over and places a lingering kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
460 notes · View notes
13uswntimagines · 4 months
Text
Spiral (Alessia Russo X MMA!R)
Tumblr media
Request: Could you maybe do something where less isn’t around to help r through something and r is spiraling more and more while needing someone to bring her back. One of Alessia's teammates has to kind of shout at r and tell her to kneel or something for her to be grounded featuring Mary (and Lucy slightly)
Part of The come Down universe
Warming: D/s elements. Blood and violence (mentioned but nothing graphic- R punches a wall several times).
It was easy for people to believe that you had an easy life, filled with nothing more than champagne problems and affluenza. 
All they saw were the press conferences and interviews after fights where you were riding high on your success. They didn’t see the weeks where you trained upwards of 18 hours a day and ate so strictly that even your water content was measured. 
They didn’t see how difficult it was to balance your career and Alessia’s, and the weeks you sometimes went apart. 
They didn’t see the nagging injuries that followed you like old ghosts. 
And they thought the 1% of your life they saw was enough context for them to make assumptions about the rest of your life, including your relationship with your girlfriend. 
You had never been big on social media, but that didn’t mean you were entirely shielded from it. 
Especially not when the date for your title fight against Justin Gathje was announced. 
Dana wanted you to hype the fight, to make a comment about how wild Justin was in the cage, and how your far more technical style would be a good match. 
And you thought the spare moments you had sitting in Alessia’s national team cubby while she did her final lap around Wembley for the fans was the perfect moment. 
But as you flicked through your Twitter app, you, realized very quickly that it was a terrible idea. 
Justin had already commented on the fight and accompanied his post with pictures of you in the stands a Wembley dressed in your girlfriend's jersey and one of him sweating in the gym. 
I think a championship contender should at least be putting in the work instead of fucking off with a bitch who deserves better. #gonnasilencethegolddigger
You knew that it was a stupid post. It made no sense because the fight was 20 weeks away, and starting training camp now, three days post-fight, would only lead to burnout and injuries. 
You knew that it was completely untrue considering you had met Alessia at UNC where you had a nice wrestling scholarship and she had a soccer one. There had been no gold to dig. 
But that didn’t stop the general public from hopping on the hate train. 
There were thousands of replies, and mentions and posts clogging your feed about how undeserving you were. 
About how awful of a fighter you were. 
About how Alessia deserved someone who could support her. 
But it wasn’t the comments from the general public that bothered you. 
It was the ones from her former teammates that dug into your brain and stuck. 
Her own family didn’t want her so much they shipped her off to America, so it’s sad she’s dragged a stand-up baller like Lessie into her mess. She didn’t deserve her state championship either. #alwaysridingcoattails.
Her own family didn’t want her
Dragged Lessie into her mess
The words burned into your mind, so you saw them every time you closed your eyes, getting more and more bold each time the number of interactions went up. 
1000
15,000
300,000
2,000,000
You launched your phone across the room, uncaring how it smashed into a million pieces on the stone like it would smash the image on the screen. 
Like it would shatter the tweet and the shots coming from people who had never met you. 
Like it would change how right they were. 
You breathed in deeply, trying to quell the growing ache in your chest and soothe the feelings bubbling in your stomach. 
Alessia’s scent surrounded you, filling your lungs and coating all of your senses. It was normally like a balm on an open wound or ice for a burn, the remedy to your anxiety and a promise that she was there for you. 
That she would always be there. 
That promise was part of the reason your relationship took the dynamic it did. 
Except this time, her scent didn’t loosen the knot in your chest. 
It just reminded you how much you took from her. How much better off she would have been if you had never run into her at UNC. 
You shoved yourself out of Alessia’s locker, you didn’t deserve to sit in it and paced the small room. 
The walls felt like they were getting closer together, and the air felt too heavy. 
You couldn’t breathe.
You needed release. 
You paused at the far end of the room, staring at the white concrete. 
Your fist hit the cold concrete before you even thought about it, and you relished in the pressure of the hard surface on your exposed knuckles. It was more than when you hit pads, more than when you hit someone else. 
It was perfect. 
You did it again. 
You weren’t enough. You hadn’t been for your parents. You wouldn’t be enough for Alessia either. 
Your fist hit the wall again. 
That’s what everyone had been saying for months. That’s what your father told you when you tried to make amends. 
You could see how right they were. 
Stupid worthless 
You hit the wall again. 
How much better off they would be without you. 
“Y/n?”
You didn’t even blink at Ella’s voice. 
You weren’t good enough. How could you ever be?
You had been birthed by two drug addicts more interested in their own highs than in raising a child. Your neighborhood MMA gym was the only place you had ever found food and safety. How could you ever be enough for Alessia who had been raised by loving parents? Who didn’t have to scrape and claw for food scraps? 
Who didn’t crave the freedom you found in total violence. In the destruction of a human. 
In the destruction of herself. 
“Y/n stop,” 
Hands gripped your shoulder, trying to prevent your arm from moving as you launched it again at the slightly pink wall. 
It didn’t work. 
Your hand slammed into the wall again. 
It wasn’t enough. It didn’t hurt enough to ease the volcano in your chest. 
You needed more. 
“Y/n please,” 
Ella’s voice sounded very close to your ear and stinger arms wrapped around your stomach, trying to force you away.
A guttural sound left your lips as the arms were finally able to pull you away, and Lucy stepped between you and your only solace. 
You needed it. 
“Calm down,” Mary hissed, her arms tugging you again. 
You were too out of it to wonder when she had gotten there. 
“Go get Alessia,” Lucy said, looking over your shoulder towards who you assumed was Ella. “Now,” 
You fought against the arms restraining you. 
Keeping you from the only thing that would make the ripping feeling in your brain go quiet. 
The door slammed shut and you were forced back another step by strong arms. 
“Y/n you need to relax, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Lucy held her hands up as she took a step towards you like you were a wild animal. 
And you supposed you were. 
Wild and out of control. Spiraling into oblivion. 
Lucy Met Mary’s eyes when you fought harder in the keeper's hold, your eyes wildly flickering as your limbs flailed. 
This was well out of their ability to fix. 
“We have to do it,” Lucy said, and Mary instantly knew what she meant. 
Mary nodded once. 
She knew you better than Lucy did, so she knew it had to be her if they wanted it to work. 
It was the only thing she could think of to help you. 
The thing that Alessia would do for you 
They had only seen it happen once. 
It was the only time the keeper had seen your dynamic's heavier side. The only time Alessia looked truly dominant, and you looked submissive. 
Mary squared her shoulders, drawing up to her full height, picturing in her mind the way Alessia had touched you and the tone that she had used. Soft, but dripping in authority that had shocked Mary. 
She tried to remember the words your girlfriend had used, the way her fingers pressed perfectly into your skin to make you melt. 
She pulled away from you slightly, drawing her hand from your stomach to land heavily on the space where your shoulder met your neck. 
“Y/n,” She said mimicking the sheer dominance that Alessia’s voice held that night. “I think that’s enough darling. Kneel for me,” 
You froze. 
A shiver ran the full length of your spine at the familiar words, and your shoulders rolled like a physical weight had been added to them. 
You blinked as the order filtered through the fog in your brain, registering that though it was familiar, the voice that had given it was not. 
Her arm loosened around your middle as all of the fight left you, but she kept the grounding hand on your neck. 
You leaned into it, breathing in through your nose and very slowly releasing it through your clenched teeth. 
You sagged with each exhale, sinking very slowly until you were kneeling at Mary’s feet. 
Your head bowed, and you rested your hands palm up on your knees as another rattling breath left you, pressing back into the hand still on your neck like it was the only thing keeping you from floating away into oblivion.
Mary stood frozen, staring at you as you fixed your posture (Alessia hated it when you slouched) and all of the tension, her eyes darting up to meet Lucy’s. 
She hadn’t been sure that it would work. That you would listen to it because she wasn’t Alessia. But now that it had, she wasn’t sure what to do. 
She didn’t know what came next, or how to navigate it without crossing your boundaries. 
“Good job Y/n,” Lucy said, keeping her voice as soft as Mary’s. “We’re just going to stay here and calm down, alright?”
You let out another shuddering breath, more ripples quaking down your spine, and Mary very gently ran her thumb in circles at the back of your neck, hoping it would help to keep you settled. 
She knew it was the touch Alessia always took when you were anxious or nervous, but she was also very much aware that she was not Alessia. 
“And then we’ll get one of the trainers to look at your hand after Lessie gets here,” The defender continued, her eyes trained on where your jeans were slowly turning red with the blood from your hand. 
“But for now, we’re going to just stay right here,” Mary repeated, letting her thumb graze the nape of your neck. 
*******
“Less,” Ella’s voice cut through the sounds of the fans calling for Alessia’s attention, the panic in it drawing the strikers eyes before the midfielder skidded to a stop beside her. 
“What’s happened?” Alessia asked, passing the shirt she was signing back to the young girl who had handed it to her. 
“Y/n,” Ella panted, her eyes wide, afraid despite the cameras pointed their way. “I’ve never seen her like that,” 
Alessia frowned, turning away from the fans and wrapping an arm around Ella’s shoulder to give them some semblance of privacy. 
“Seen her like what?” She asked, her tone low with something… darker lingering under the surface. 
Ella shook her head, unable to describe it with words. “I need you to come, quickly,” 
“Ok,” Alessia agreed, following after the midfielder with little question. 
She knew that whatever had happened had to be bad to cause that look. To have Ella say it in front of the fans. 
Ella sprinted back towards the tunnel with Alessia on her heels, weaving between equipment people, and players until they reached the locker room. 
Leah stood outside the door, directing players to the other showers. 
Alessia’s frown deepened. “What’s going on?”
“We thought a smaller audience would be better,” Leah murmured, stepping aside for them. “Looks pretty brutal mate,” 
Ella patted her back and she stepped towards the door, steeling herself for whatever was inside as she pressed it open. 
Her breath caught in her chest as she took in the scene in front of her. 
It looked like something out of a slasher film. 
Red covered one of the white stone walls, dripping onto the gray floor in dime-sized circles to where you were sitting. No kneeling between Mary and Lucy, a dark patch forming from where it had soaked into your jeans. 
Her jaw clenched at your position. 
It was hard for people to understand but kneeling was something… intimate between the two of you. It was a show of the trust that you had for her to take care of you. A way to reinforce the power dynamic in your relationship. 
It had taken you a long time to feel comfortable enough to let yourself be vulnerable enough to kneel for her, and she treasured how willing you were now. How you seemed to… crave the position. 
For someone else to put you there didn’t sit well with her. 
Neither did the way Mary’s hand was holding the back of your neck. 
“What happened?” She grit out, her eyes flitting between your form and the two women on your either side. 
“we’re not entirely sure. We just caught the tail end,” Mary murmured, her thumb rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. 
Your eyes were closed, but Alessia could see the tension in your posture. She could see how on edge you were. 
How close you were to subspace. 
She snooker her head. “And you thought that this was the solution?”
She wanted to scream at her friends. To give them a lecture about consent and safety and trust (even though you wouldn’t be kneeling for them if you didn’t trust them). 
They didn’t know your boundaries. This hadn’t been discussed. What if it went wrong and they didn’t recognize the signs of you passing the point of consent? 
She knew you often leaned into the dynamic you shared to calm down. To let go, but she knew your limits. She knew your safe word. 
She knew all of the signs to look for, because you craved pain when you felt unstable (a habit that had lingered from your childhood), and you wouldn’t always vocalize your limits. 
She worried how far backward you would slip after this. 
“It was the only way I could think of to get her to calm down. She wasn’t responding to anything else Less,” Mary explained, her voice very soft and gentle. “I tried to do exactly what you do,” 
“We also stayed away from honorifics,” Lucy added. “We knew we were overstepping a bit as it was and didn’t want to push further than we had to,” 
Alessia wanted to snort that overstepping was an understatement, but she didn’t. 
That wouldn’t help you. 
Avoiding honorifics had been a very thoughtful touch. 
That would have sent you careening into sub-space, and she doubted either of them could have handled that. 
“Alright,” She said, taking a deep breath. 
She would need to talk to them later, but right now, her priority was you. 
And getting to the bottom of what happened. 
Of what changed in the 10 minutes you had been left alone. 
She settled herself on the bench, placing her sweatshirt on the ground near her feet to act as a cushion for you, and taking a deep calming breath before she let her eyes fall on you. 
“Babygirl,” Her voice came out stern, but not angry, and for the first time, you raised your gaze from the floor to meet hers. “Come here,” 
She gestured towards the spot at her feet, and without hesitating, you carefully pulled out of Mary’s grasp and crawled to her. 
Her fingers weaved through your hair, and she guided you to rest your cheek on her thigh once you settled on the sweatshirt. “What’s going on sweet one? Talk to me,”
You nuzzled into the soft skin of her leg as her nails dragged against your scalp, trying to remember how to speak. 
How to form words that would accurately describe the tearing feeling in your chest. 
“Not enough,”
The words were horse as they left your lips, heavy and wet like they had been pulled from the depths of your soul. 
Alessia hummed, her nails digging more deeply into your hair. “What’s not enough?”
Your breath rattled in your chest, shaking through you to your core. 
At the depths of it, you were not enough. 
You would never be enough. 
“I’ll go get a doc,” Lucy murmured before you heard the sound of the door. 
“What is not enough,” Alessia asked again, more insistent. 
“I’m not enough, Miss,” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. 
Alessia tutted. “We both know that’s not true,” 
You groaned. 
It was true. The whole internet believed it. 
“It is,” You insisted, pulling away from her warm hold to meet her eyes. “Everyone believes it,” 
“Who is everyone?” Alessia pressed, staying calm and even. Being your stability. 
“I think this has something to do with it,” Mary said, and your eyes snapped to her, where she was holding your demolished phone, the tweets still lighting up the screen. 
You had forgotten she was still here. 
“What is it?” 
Alessia held her free hand out for it, using the other to settle you back against her thigh. 
“Bullshit,” Mary answered, passing the phone to your dominant, moving slowly around you, like she was afraid to spook you. 
Alessia hummed, flicking through the images on your cracked screen. 
The room was silent as she read the words that had set you off, and you let your eyes slide closed, enjoying her closeness. 
Enjoying the ability to let go, and trust that she would take care of it. 
You ignored the sound of the door opening again, and feet approaching you and Alessia. You didn’t care if people saw you. You knew that she would defend you if you needed it. 
“Sweet girl,” Alessia said, fingers tightening in your hair, and you opened your eyes to meet hers over the phone. “Let them look at your hands,” 
Your eyes flickered towards the medics, kneeling in front of you, Lucy standing protectively behind them with Mary. 
You hummed, slowly lifting your dominant hand and holding it out towards the medic. 
He took it gently between his own and began to examine it with a frown. 
“I think she needs x-rays,” He said, looking over you towards Alessia who was still scrolling through your feed. “And I can wrap it after that,” 
“Alright,” She said, putting your phone down. “We’ll meet you in the training room in just a moment. Can you three give us a second?”
The medic nodded, retreating with Mary and Lucy.
“Take your time,” Mary paused in the doorway. “Me and Luce will get cleaned up and meet you,” 
Alessia let out a sound of agreement. 
She waited for the door to close before she very gently pulled you up from your knees and into her lap. 
You rested your cheek on her chest, tucking your nose into her still-sweaty jersey. 
This time her scent didn’t set you on edge. It joined the feeling of her warm arms wrapped around you and her chin on your head, making you feel safe and warm and cared for, even when you didn’t think you deserved it. 
“You know all of those tweets are bullshit right?” She asked after your breathing had evened out. “They’re just trying to get under your skin,”
You made a low noise, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. 
“You are deserving because you are amazing. You are an incredible fighter, and a good human despite the shit hand you were dealt,” She continued. “I love you, and I will always be here for you. Whether you are the world champion, or we’re eating spam and crackers on my bedroom floor,” 
Your eyes slid closed and you buried your face in her chest, your lips lifting just a bit at the mention of your favorite snack from college. 
From when you were too broke to afford dinner on the weekends. 
It didn’t entirely fix the crumbling feeling that accompanied each beat of your heart, but her words were like a tether holding you to reality. 
She had loved you before you were a UFC star and she was England's Star Girl, and she would love you after. 
That was all that mattered. 
She squeezed you tightly and kissed your head. “Let’s go get your hands fixed and then we can go back to the hotel and watch Love Island before bed, alright?”
You hummed again. 
You knew a talk about your coping mechanism, about the wall you had destroyed, would also be included after you had come down. 
But you didn’t mind. 
You and Alessia would get through it. Together. 
540 notes · View notes
pelova4president · 5 months
Text
the williamsons
socials
Leah Williamson x Reader
~
leahwilliamsonn, y/nwilliamson
Tumblr media
liked by lucybronze and 124.739 others
little footballer on the way
comments
alessiarusso99 gonna be a real goalscorer
↳ leahwilliamsonn he’s gonna be a defender russo
↳ bethmead_ i’ll make him a striker
lionesses congrats to the both of you!! 🍼
victoriapelova i’ll babysit!!
↳ y/nwilliamson just because you’re a dogsitter doesn’t mean you can look after a child vicky
↳ victoriapelova come onnn it’s almost the same
jillroord can’t wait for the auntie duty’s 🥹🥹
oranjeleeuwinnen gefeliciteerd 🧡🍼
woso4evr love this for them ❤️❤️
williamsonss34 this baby is gonna be so cute
leahwilliamsonn
Tumblr media
liked by lionesses and 143.629 others
There he is, Luka Jacob Williamson 💙
comments
viviannemiedema the best boy
victoriapelova kan hij al een beetje dribbelen?
↳ y/nwilliamson vic hij is een paar dagen oud
lj10 project williamson ⚽️
mbrighty04 so so cute
1maryearps gonna be a little goalkeeper
y/nwilliamson posted on their story
Tumblr media
leahwilliamsonn posted on their story
Tumblr media
y/nwilliamson posted on their story
Tumblr media
leahwilliamsonn, y/nwilliamson
Tumblr media
liked by alexiaputellas and 154.829 others
going from a 3-a-side team to a 5-a-side team
comments
bethmead_ love thisss
katie_mccabe11 more little monsters please!!
arsenal two little gooners more ❤️
stephcatley can’t wait!!
svandesanden ❤️❤️
lucybronze when can i babysit??
↳ leahwilliamsonn they’re not born yet so you’ll have to wait bronzey
weuro 🇳🇱❤️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
bronzewalshyfann they’re gonna have a whole team
lovew0s04 these kids are gonna be real ballers
leahwilliamsonn, y/nwilliamson
Tumblr media
liked by keirawalsh and 151.620 others
Kai David Williamson💙 Casey Alex Williamson🩷
comments
alexscott2 honoured to be their godmother 🥹
alessiarusso they’re too cute!!
stanwaygeorgia i’m gonna steal them from you
↳ keirawalsh i’ll help you
marialeonn16 😍😍
alexgreenwood5 little cuties
bethmead_, viviannemiedema
Tumblr media
liked by leahwilliamsonn and 89.721 others
crazy williamsons
comments
leahwilliamsonn atleast you’ve got one to play football
↳ bethmead_ we tried, he wouldn’t even kick it, just wanted to hold it
↳ y/nwilliamson maybe he just wants to play basketball
↳ leahwilliamsonn over my dead body!!
alessiarusso99 crazy kids
victoriapelova they’ve got it from someone
↳ leahwilliamsonn we all know that you taught them to stick their middle finger up, they got it from you
↳ victoriapelova not true!! kyra taught them
↳ kyracooneyx why’d you have to tell on me
liawaelti got that crazy hair like their mommy’s
mead_ema11 they are little mini leah’s!!!
englioness15 these kids are perfection
y/nwilliamson posted on their story
Tumblr media
y/nwilliamson
Tumblr media
liked by bbcsport and 113.615 others
playing piano just like their mommy
comments
laura_wienroither this is too cute!! 🥹
leahwilliamsonn i guess Lukey wants to be a basketballer, Kaikai a pianist but our girl will be a footballer
↳ jbeattie91 she better be!!
viviannemiedema little talents
kyracooneyx when can i babysit them again??
↳ victoriapelova i’ll babysit with you
↳ leahwilliamsonn never, they only learn swearwords with you guys
A/N the Mapi x Ingrid x Reader fic is finished so i’ll be posting that tomorrow!!
889 notes · View notes
etherealstar-writes · 4 months
Text
I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 7
Tumblr media
pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: seven
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the REAL karate kid
good afternoon losers
and y/n <3
the imposter
hey
willybum
good afternoon you dumbass
and hello to you too y/n
the REAL karate kid
rude
how are you y/n?
the imposter
eh i'm doing fine i guess
stairway
is everything alright
the imposter
i got fired from work today 😔
lotte
what happened?
if you don't mind me asking
the imposter
so i told ya what i do for work yeah?
well i've worked for this company for the past
whole year as their main solo media manager
and then my boss found out that his good old
friend's son was looking for a job and he's also
a photographer and social media manager so he
decided to fire me and hire him instead to
keep his relationship strong with his old friend
the REAL karate kid
that really sucks
your boss sounds like a terrible person
the imposter
yeah he was a really difficult person
i am kinda glad tho ngl
i don't have to see his annoying face ever again
but back to job hunting again 😔
neev
if it makes you feel better
leah got head-shotted in the head
by lessi during training
the imposter
i really hope someone got proof of it
stairway
i gotcha
Tumblr media
maya
HELP
lotte
got K.O-ed lol
willybum
Tumblr media
this isn't funny
i got a full on concussion
i'll get you back russo
the REAL karate kid
not my fault you're a terrible defender 🤷‍♀️
willybum
EXCUSE ME?!
the imposter
dam
them calves 😮‍💨
has anyone ever asked you
to step on them?
neev
um y/n is there something you'd
like to share with the group ...
willybum
weirdly enough yeah
i have been asked that
elton
it was actually just y/n asking
on a secret account
the imposter
don't expose me like that 😩
meado
every time i open this group chat
i get deeply concerned for you all again
i don't even know who y/n is and i feel like
i should be concerned about her as well
the imposter
woah
meado
i thought we were getting along well 😔
stairway
Tumblr media
well if meado is concerned then
i guess she's offering to pay for
our therapy so let's go gang
the imposter
also
why do guys always train and
play football together?
elton
oh you know
we just like to play football together at times
stairway
yeah
it's fun
the imposter
okay ....
who am i to judge
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE LION KING SQUAD
russo
uh
so guys
i have done something
toone
oh no
that is never a good sign
le tissier
okay i'm intrigued
this is gonna be bad
wubben-moy
the fact that she's using the group chat
without y/n is not a good sign
stanway
is she about to introduce her new wife
to us or something? did you like run away
and get married in vegas or something?
charles
we literally saw her yesterday georgia
so if she had then that would be
insanely impressive
toone
is that why you weren't at training today?
greenwood
ella looked very lost today
it was worrying
russo
yeah
i ran away with y/n and we got married
toone
HUH
stanway
WHAT
charles
EXCUSE ME
russo
OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOTS
not yet anyway 😏
but back to the point
leah was also in on this
bright
oh like that's any better
williamson
excuse me??
wubben-moy
here we go
russo
okay
so
you know how y/n's looking for a job yeah?
well leah and i thought we'd put in a
good word for her in our media admin so
that you know .... maybe she can get
offered a job here and you know we can
actually meet her and get to know her irl ....
stanway
that is actually ....
the most decent idea i've heard from ya
charles
yeah fr
hemp
oh my god y'all are such simps
stanway
shut up
toone
i do wonder when y/n will find out about
who we are or if she ever will
charles
nah she's got to find out soon with
the euros starting next week?
williamson
i reckon we tell her after the euros
wubben-moy
well that shall be eventful
part eight here
573 notes · View notes
reminiscingtonight · 1 month
Note
arsenal, hoodies and hickies for tobin! (bonus if shes still playing for them and maybe dating someones sibling)
Spill The Tea (Alessia Russo x Press!Reader)
A/N: changed the req a bit bc there is no Tobin without Christen so I made the reader Christen’s sibling
“Is this something I’m going to need to tell Christen or can I trust you to be a responsible adult?”
There’s this thing with Tobin. Ever since she started dating your sister all those years ago, she’s really slipped into the role of the fourth older sister you don’t need. 
While she isn’t as nitpicky as Tyler and Christen or as interrogative as Channing, Tobin still liked to harp on you quite a lot. So you’ve heard this question come out of her mouth more times than you can count. And by now you know better than to expect Tobin to keep a secret from Christen.
You tilt your head towards her, a singular eyebrow raising up in question as your arms stay halfway through your training shirt. Of all times Tobin could’ve started a conversation of course she had to wait until you were quite literally trapped with nowhere to escape. 
“Why do you think I have anything to tell you?”
“You have a hickey the size of Maine on your neck.”
You follow her eyes down to your skin. Your still very bruised skin. 
The memory of mischievous eyes sparkling as you tried to sneak out this morning flashes clearly through your mind as you hastily pull on a neck warmer from your cubby.
You can still feel Tobin’s eyes on the side of your face as you try to busy yourself pulling on the last of your clothes. 
“You’re seeing someone, don’t lie.”
“And why do you think so?” You look up to see Tobin giving you a look. You roll your eyes. “Apart from the hickey.”
“You’re really going to make me play detective today?” When you don’t respond Tobin lets out an annoyed grunt. “Where to start? Well you’ve been sneaking in at 6 in the morning for the past couple of weeks.”
It’s not your fault you haven’t been given a drawer yet. Frankly the number of times you’ve stayed over should’ve already gotten you a place to store your things but Alessia’s been extremely paranoid about letting you leave traces of yourself at hers. Something about how her England teammates like coming over unannounced. A lot. Better to keep no trace of you at her place lest a blabbermouth blabbers too much.
“And changing your phone password? Not cool, dude.”
You cringe at the memory of Tobin storming into your room at half past twelve the other day, exasperated at the fact that a). you weren’t up and making her breakfast yet, and b). she couldn’t get into your phone to doordash some food.
You and Tobin shared everything. Cooking duties. The occasional snapback. Your phone passwords. But that last one was the first thing you changed when you started seeing Alessia. 
“And finally, this,” Tobin pokes at the light blue hoodie peeking out of your duffle, “is not yours.”
You try ducking under her arm to get out of the locker room but Tobin grabs a firm hold of your training top, jerking you back towards her.
You’re nose to nose now and the forward has no problem using her height advantage to stare you down. “I’ll ask again. Who have you been locking lips with?”
You scowl. “Well you’re playing detective today right? Guess.”
Tobin’s lips pinch shut, a displeased look on her face.
Before she can retaliate, a brief call of her name by Kim has Tobin turning away. When her hands loosen their hold, you bolt, taking full advantage of Tobin’s brief dip of attention.
Unbeknownst to you, a pair of blue eyes follow you out of the room.
It isn’t until you’re already stretching on the sideline that long legs catch up to you. A soft smile breaks onto your face at the sight of other girl, hands opening and closing as you mime at her to come closer for a kiss.
For a second you think Alessia's going to crumble to your demands. 
And then you see her panicked expression.
“Did Tobin figure out we’re dating?”
Sighing, you push yourself off the ground, taking care to brush grass off your legs. “No, Tobin’s smart but she isn’t that smart.”
Alessia gives you a look that has you wondering if she’s offended on the behalf of the striker. 
You roll your eyes before giving her a light shove. “Relax, all she saw was your hoodie. She’s not going to know it’s yours.”
Alessia’s eyes widen at the mention of the sweatshirt you snuck out of her house this morning. Usually it’s cute and all and she really does love seeing you in her clothes, but faced with the fact that it’s branded with the UNC logo on the front? Or the fact that Tobin knows you followed in Christen’s footsteps and went to Stanford instead of Chapel Hill? 
“My hoodie? Babe! Of course she’s going to know it’s mine!”
“Relax,” you repeat, hands coming up to rub at her tense shoulders. “There are four of you who played at UNC who are on the team now. She’ll be too busy trying to figure out if it’s you, Lotte, or Foxy to ever find the real culprit.”
If anything, your words only seem to agitate her more. Alessia slaps your hands away, arms crossing over her chest. “You’d rather Tobin think you’re dating Lotte or Em over me?”
Safe to say, any words you try to defend yourself with only digs you deeper into the hole.
Tobin’s pleasantly surprised to see you moping on the couch later that night.
.
It doesn't take as long as you’re expecting for Tobin to figure it out.
You’re doing your weekly check-in with your sister a couple days later when Christen’s face suddenly widens into a teasing smirk. 
“So Tobin tells me you have a new girlfriend.”
You resist the urge to fling your phone across the room. Instead, you do the mature thing and hang up the phone.
Christen doesn’t look impressed when she calls back and you pick up. 
“Oh don’t be a wuss. There’s nothing you can do without me knowing. So spill. Tell me all about her.”
 You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Really, Chris? This is what you want to talk about?”
Even from a continent away you can see the megawatt smile being sent your way. “Couldn’t take my number so you had to take out a girl who has it too, huh?”
Tobin cringes in her room when she hears the telltale sound of your phone crashing against the wall.
708 notes · View notes
barcaatthemoon · 2 months
Text
sharp dressed woman || alessia russo x reader ||
Tumblr media
you really like the suit alessia chose to wear out for an event.
minors dni, 18+ only, smut ahead.
"less, come on, we're gonna be late!" you shouted up the stairs at your girlfriend. alessia was bringing you as her date to some football ceremony, much like you had with your red carpet event the weekend before. it was nice to be able to go do things like that together without the fear that someone would find out. both of you were successful in your respective careers and felt secure enough in your relationship to not let anybody come between you for something trivial like comments.
"be patient!" alessia shouted back at you. you leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms over your chest. it wasn't even ten seconds after a pout found itself onto your face that alessia was walking into the living room. "now when you look at me like that, it's hard to leave the house."
"less, you look good," you told her. she had opted for a suit, one that you knew she bought whenever she went out with leah last. you had been upset that day about her excluding you from shopping, but the surprise was definitely worth it. as was the night alessia spent between your legs making it up to you.
"thank you baby," alessia said as she pulled you into her arms. she was careful in placing a kiss to your cheek. your lipstick was dark enough to stain her mouth and face so she was careful to avoid that. "now, i'm going to need you to behave because i'd hate to have to ruin that makeup you worked so hard on."
alessia's words had you swallowing nervously. you remembered the way that she had teased you in the car ride over to the red carpet. you had definitely been planning on teasing her back, but you could tell that alessia meant business. it was only a night, and you could be good for her, especially since she looked nervous.
"you'll do great," you said as you leaned your forehead against hers. alessia kissed the corner of your mouth before she ushered you out of the house. there was a car full of her teammates and friends waiting outside, so you definitely couldn't tease her like you had planned.
you played the part of supportive girlfriend all night, holding alessia's hand and talking to anybody who she seemed to want you to. there were a few moments when alessia pressed a couple of gentle kisses to your cheek or temple, a quiet thanks for sticking by her side. she had been sweet enough the whole night that you missed the way tha she had begun to stare at you a little later on. it seemed that your dress had the same effect on alessia that her suit had on you.
"come on, let's go," alessia said as she grabbed you by the hand to drag you away. there had been talks of an afterparty, but you could tell by the urgency in alessia's voice that she didn't care about that. a part of you wanted to suggest slowing down so that she could truly enjoy the entirety of the night, but if alessia wanted to take you home now, you wouldn't argue against it.
"before i lose the chance to say this, i want you to know that i'm really proud of you for tonight," you said. alessia blushed and looked down at her hands as they rested in her lap. she obviously hadn't expected those to be the first words out of your mouth once the two of you were finally alone.
"thank you," alessia mumbled as she leaned over to press a quick kiss to your cheek. she paused as she backed away, finally realizing that she could kiss you how she really wanted to. the two of you had nowhere else to go for the night, so alessia didn't have to worry about your lipstick smearing all over her face anymore. she just had to make sure that she got her shirt off before any makeup could get on it.
alessia gently grabbed your jaw, gently rubbing her fingers along your jawline as she stared at you. you swallowed nervously as you tried to keep eye contact with her. alessia had very expressive eyes, almost always giving away her intentions with intensity. alessia's eyes flicked down to watch as your throat bobbed a little before her eyes slowly moved back up.
"kiss me, please. i can't wait any longer. less, you've been driving me crazy," you admitted. alessia's lips parted as she opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but there was nothing that alessia felt would be a valid response other than just kissing you. she backed you up just a little, but followed through, her lips hitting yours just as soon as your head touched the wall.
alessia had always been a phenomenal kisser, the best you had ever experienced before. alessia didn't believe you whenever you'd rave about how much you loved kissing her, which you couldn't understand. alessia's lips were so soft, even whenever she was purposefully being rough with you. you loved that no matter how softly the two of you started out, you'd end up kissing alessia so much that your lips always ended up bruised.
"can i take you back to the bedroom?" alessia asked. she had her hands on your thighs with the skirt of your dress hiked up just a little. you knew that she wasn't asking if the two of you would have sex, she wanted to know if she could carry you back there. it had been a little while since she had done that, and the look in her eyes was so hopeful that you couldn't tell her no.
"just don't trip or drop me," you told her. there was a little teasing lilt to your voice, which you were punished for with a swift nip to your bottom lip from alessia. you let out a sharp wince, and alessia ran her tongue over the bite. that proved to be a mistake as alessia's knees buckled a little when you kissed her back. "no more kissing when you're carrying me."
"that's fair," alessia sighed. she adjusted her grip on you before she sprinted into the bedroom. you were almost impressed, but you didn't miss the way that she had almost tripped and fallen getting you into the bed. alessia dumped you onto the mattress a little harder than she meant to, immediately turning back to start undressing herself. "i don't even know if i want you to take off that dress."
"i want to take this stupid thing off," you told her. alessia let out a little sigh as she nodded. you got off of the bed so that alessia could help you take the dress off and set it aside somewhere safe. alessia had genuinely enjoyed seeing you in that dress, so you'd probably end up wearing it again. "maybe don't take all of that off though, for me?"
"well, i hope you know a good cleaner then," alessia said. you smiled as you got back onto the bed. alessia set her suit jacket and the shirt aside on the dresser before she joined you on the bed. you had wanted the shirt to stay on, even though she had already unbuttoned all of it. you didn't say anything about it though, knowing that there were more pressing matters at hand.
alessia pinned your body beneath hers, nudging your thighs apart with her own legs as she settled down. alessia pressed a couple of kisses to your lips before she started moving them down your body. alessia pressed whatever parts of her body she could against you as she moved down. you ground yourself against her abs as she busied herself with your breasts. her hands moved under your bra to tease your nipples as she buried her face in between your boobs.
"less, please," you whined. she lifed her head up just a little, a pout on her face.
"be patient for me, and i promise that you'll be rewarded," she told you. you just nodded as you bit your lip to keep another whine in. you wanted to feel her inside of you, but you'd settle for grinding for the moment. it was hard, but you did remind yourself over and over again that tonight was for alessia.
alessia took her time in moving down between your legs, but once she did, there was no teasing. alessia grabbed you and lifted you up a little before hooking her arms around your hips to keep you in place. she buried her face between your legs, fervently running her tongue through your folds. alessia moaned at the taste of you, the vibrations causing your hips to jolt forward.
"alessia," you moaned loudly. your hands moved down to her head, unsure of whether you wanted to pull her closer or push her away. alessia was smirking at you grabbed at her hair, unable to do much else than that. you had gotten yourself pretty worked up grinding away mindlessly against alessia's abs earlier, and the quick and aggressive assault of her tongue on your cunt made it impossible for you not to cum quickly. you opened your mouth to warn her, but the way she harshly sucked your clit into her mouth shut you up immediately.
alessia could feel your body tense in her arms, but she didn't stop. she lapped gently at your entrance, licking up at the arousal that was literally dripping out of you. one look up at you from between your legs told alessia that she could go one more time with you, or at least attempt it. she knew not to get upset if you pushed her away after a little while, you knew your body better than she did.
"i think you've been so good for me that you deserve my fingers. does that sound nice to you pretty girl?" alessia asked as she sat up a little. her hands were on the insides of your thighs now, her thumbs brushing so close to where you wanted her.
"please, less." you weren't sure how many times you had said that tonight, but you were prepared to beg her. alessia wasn't going to make you beg for her tonight though. you had done everything that she asked you to so far, so you were getting your reward. and maybe, if you were still in the mood, alessia would get to play a little more with you after.
"oh baby, you feel so good," alessia muttered as she pushed two fingers inside of you. alessia usually didn't start with two, knowing that her fingers were big. however, you were so wet that both fingers slipped inside of you with ease. alessia thought for a moment that she could add another, but she wanted to wait for you to ask for more before she did that.
alessia's fingers fucked in and out of you with ease. you bucked your hips to match her thrusts, glad to finally not be pinned down. you liked feeling like you were participating, even if you knew that alessia did most of the work on nights like this. it wasn't that you just wanted to lay there and take it, but alessia liked holding you in ways that didn't allow for much movement. alessia wanted to be able to have her way with you, and if you were being forced to stay still, she could prolong that time for just a little bit.
"less," you whined, reaching out towards her. alessia leaned forward and let you grab onto her. immediately, you pulled her closer towards you. alessia shifted up onto her knees and moved to lay partially on top of you. her fingers were still fucking in and out of you, curling with each thrust and dragging along all the spots you needed her.
"i'm right here baby," alessia said softly. your hands moved from her hair to cradle her face. you pulled her down towards you, just close enough to kiss. alessia knew what you wanted and why you were doing it. she was careful to keep little gaps in your kisses, knowing that your breathing was already erratic. she happily swallowed up each of your orgasmic moans with kisses as she felt your cunt clench around her fingers. "that's it baby, good girl."
alessia's words were mumbled in between soft kisses and slow, shallow movements of her fingers. you went limp beneath alessia's body, finally allowing her to remove her fingers. she did it one at a time and pressed an apologetic kiss to your each of your cheeks when you let out little whimpers. alessia was careful as she maneuvered herself to lay beside you. you turned onto your side and rolled right into her arms, burying your head against the crook of her neck.
"you've still got part of your suit on," you mumbled after a few moments. alessia hummed in confirmation, but didn't ask to get up. you reluctantly pulled yourself away from her to let alessia get out of bed. she went straight into the bathroom for a couple of minutes. whenever she returned, alessia was wearing just her underwear and had a wash cloth in her hand.
"alright, come here." alessia grabbed onto your ankles and gently pulled you over to the edge of the bed. she was gentle as she cleaned you up, careful to make sure that she did it somewhere neither of you were going to lay while asleep. she didn't want any of the water to drip down and make you cold later in the night. alessia tossed the cloth towards the dirty clothes, careful not to get it in the basket and get anything else wet. "all clean. do you want something to wear? i can get you a pair of my shorts if you'd like."
"the arsenal briefs and one of your old training shirts please?" you asked her. alessia sprinted off to her wardrobe to get that for you, returning quickly to help you into the outfit. you could have done it yourself, but you also knew how much it helped alessia to do these things for you after sex.
"do you need anything else?" alessia asked you as she stood at the foot of the bed. you shook your head as you reached forward and pulled you onto the mattress with you. alessia settled on top of you, enveloping your body with hers. you reached around her to pull a blanket over the two of you, knowing that it'd end up being discarded sometime throughout the night if alessia stayed on you like that. "goodnight, i love you."
"night less, i love you too." you pressed a kiss to her temple, smiling when she tried cuddling further into your arms. there wasn't really any way for her to get closer, but the sentiment was still there.
457 notes · View notes
enwoso · 6 days
Note
hi! I absolutely love your alessia russo x child!reader posts. your writing is so good! if you’re up for writing some more for this universe could you maybe do something with reader being a menace with the england girls and causing some trouble? it’s okay if not!
DEVIL IN DISGUISE — alessia russo x child!reader
*back with my fave little universe! and don’t worry there are more bits to this little universe i am in the middle of writing them🙃*
Tumblr media
navigation
alessia had been on england camp since monday and it was now wednesday, you had accompanied her for the short camp.
but since arriving alessia hadn't had the most smooth couple of days like she usually would and that was because she wasn't able to take her eyes off you for more than a few seconds in fear that you would be up to something you shouldn't be.
on top of that she had noticed that a couple of things weren't here that she needed. like her training socks, which she had to go and ask the kit man for some spares putting it down to her forgetting them when being asked why she didn't have them. brushing it off she forgot about it quite quickly, you taking her focus as you were in your little trouble maker mood at the moment.
as the other day alessia had turned her back for one moment and you had vic pelova looking down into a full water bottle telling the dutch that she was looking at something inside the bottle before you squeezed the bottle into her face. ice cold water dripping down the poor dutches face.
today was travel day, the girls were playing back at wembley and had the day to recover after having a light training session early this morning.
everyone was eating breakfast, you had ate yours probably too fast for your mums liking but nevertheless she couldn’t be mad because at least you had eaten. knowing that you couldn’t play until you had eaten majority of your food.
alessia was sat talking with a few of the girls her gaze looking over to you every so often to check you weren't doing something you shouldn't of been doing — instead seeing you just colouring in content while also watching the cartoon that was playing on your ipad.
"so how is the little munchkin?" mary asked as alessia had turned her attention back to the table after checking on you for the fiftieth time in the past three minutes. alessia eyes going wide, pulling a face that said it all.
"that doesn't sound good" georgia pointed out as alessia hummed.
"she's starting to get a little naughty, like the other day i walked into her bedroom and she had drawn all over her walls and then proceeded to say it wasn't her even though she had the pen in her hand." alessia explained the girls trying to stifle their laughter as the blonde spoke.
"did it come off the walls at least?" beth asked as the blonde shook her head, proceeding to explain how her brother was thankfully going to repaint the walls for her.
"didn't she bite someone at nursery as well? tooney was on about that the other day, weren't she" millie commented looking towards mary for back up, the goal keeper nodding. the blonde groaning as she thought back to the day.
"wait you never told us girls this story"
"yeah i wanna hear it!"
"so i went and picked her up as usual after training, and then the teacher pulled me and began to tell me how she had bitten a little boy but when i asked her why she did it she said that the boy bit her first but the teacher never mentioned that part so i don't know what to think!" alessia explained the girls humming along to show that they were listening.
“are we sure she isn’t the devil in disguise?”
"well if he bit her first then her biting him is totally valid" georgia said shrugging mary agreeing mumbling something about it was good she was sticking up for herself — the other two however not as convinced, "yeah but if you give her that excuse, she'll go around biting everyone" beth said as the other two both hummed.
“that’s is true, she did make him a card to say sorry though so-“ alessia shrugged a chuckle coming from her as the others awed at the thought of you sitting and spending your own time to make a card to apologise.
“was the card made before or after you banned her from using pens?” millie asked but before alessia has a chance to reply you were heard yelling to get your mums attention.
"mummy! mummy!" you called over, alessia still talking with the girls, "look mummy!" you appeared a bright smile on your face as you held onto your top holding out a sticker.
“wow! what did you get that for?” your mum asked as she looked to you holding her hand out for you to high five. “i helped one of the coaches-“ you began but as you carried on your explanation, alessia’s eyes went wide your arms were covered in big bright red drawing and doodles you had done all up your arms
"oh my god" your mum whispered to herself, her hand stroking up your arm to find out if the pen was dry or not. "lovie, why have you done that for?" your mum sighed thinking about how on earth she was going to get the pen off.
you shrugged in response to your mums question, a smile on your face clearly happy about the colour of your arms, glancing over to the girls sat around the table who were trying to keep their smiles and laughter in.
"what have you drawn on your arms with?" your mum asked as your ran back over to your little table to grab the pen. alessia's head falling straight into her hands as a loud groan came from her.
"at least she knows what colour north london is!" leah joked trying to bring light to the situation, her and few others the only ones laughing as alessia brought her head back up shooting a dirty look to the captain.
"not the time leah." alessia mumbled through gritted teeth as she saw you running back over. pen in hand.
"this one mummy!" you held out a red sharpie towards the blonde. of course it couldn't have just been a simple crayola pen, it just had to be a permanent marker that you had somehow found.
mentally alessia was screaming, physically she was trying her best not to scream and stay as calm as possible.
"where did you find that lovie" alessia calmly asked as you explained how you got the pen, that you had found it in the pen pot which you weren't exactly lying you did find it in the pen pot but it wasn't your pen pot.
it was the pot that all the adults used but you didn't think they would mind if you borrowed it. alessia could feel her patience running thinner and thinner as the seconds went by.
since the drawing on walls situation at home incident alessia had made sure to hid each and every single pen possible, instead only allowing you to colour with pencils and even still that was under supervision. this was adding to the reasons of why it would be a while until you were able to retain your pen licence back.
"less have you seen my boot-" ella began holding one boot in her hand as she stopped at the sight of you, "woah that's a nasty sunburn tiny!" the manchurian gasped ruffling your hair as few laughs heard from her teammates as she turned to them not knowing what part of the joke she was missing.
"mate, how's she gonna get a tan never mind sunburn when it's seven degrees outside!" beth deadpanned as ella nodded along realising how silly her comment was.
"silly auntie ella, it's pen!" you giggled as ella's eyes went wide. the pieces fixing together but confusion hitting her as she knew about your redecoration of your room and the fact that alessia has hidden every pen in sight. "i thought you had banned her from using pens?"
"i have!"
“the devil in disguise strikes again!”
after many layers of baby oil and tissues most of the pen had came off your arms much to your protests that your mummy was getting rid of your artwork.
you had managed to make it down to the lobby where the team was beginning to gather for the bus arriving, people swarming around with big camera asking some of the girls questions.
you were sat with your mummy, you sat with a small coffee table in front of you. a picture game you had been playing with spread across the table.
"lovie? what's in the backpack?" you mum asked as you struggled to get it on your back, it looking very full. alessia trying to remember if it looked like that when you both arrived on camp.
“just my things” you huffed, the backpack dropping off your shoulder and onto the floor. “what things?” your mum pushed wondering what on earth you could have in your back to make it so heavy considering she had all your clothes, and your ipad in her bag.
“do you want me to carry it for you?” your mum asked as you shook your head mumbling a no as you lifted the bag up with great difficulty onto the seat. “well how about i help you put it on, yeah?” she smiled as you nodded a little admitting defeat.
you picking your backpack back up and passing it to your mummy who was sat down on the chairs in the hotel lobby. you stood in between her legs waiting for her to help you put it on, slotting one arm through the strap and then the other.
you mummy keeping you still for a moment as she pulled the zip a little, showing a glimpse of what was inside. a confused look taking over the blondes face as the sight of things which definitely were not yours.
opening the bag up a little, alessia discovered where her lost training socks along with her headphones she had thought she had forgotten as well as ella’s lost boot, millie’s t’s shin pads, chloe’s water bottle and beth’s slider.
the blonde laughing to herself as she took each item out placing it on her lap, you turning about once you thought you mum had finished putting it the bag on your back. “mummy it feels light- hey there mine!” you frown turning around and seeing the things that were in your bag on her lap.
“lovie, these are the girls’ things” your mum explained, you backpack falling to the ground as your pout got bigger, “but i found them?” you said hopefully that you would be able to keep them.
“i know, but these still belong to the girls and they might be sad if they don’t have them anymore and we don’t want to upset anyone do we?” your mummy smiled softly, as you looked over to some of the girls who were starting to gather in the lobby before it was time to get on the bus, looking back at your mum you shook your head.
“good, now can i give these back to their rightful owners?” your mum laughed slightly as you pout loosened and you nodded. you mum kissing you on the forehead as she sat you on the chair she was on, picking up the items in her hand as you grabbed your ipad to watch. your mummy telling you she would be a few seconds.
the blonde walking over to the little huddle near the coffee machine where beth, ella and millie were. “are you now the lost property box like?” ella joked watching as alessia walked closer to them, millie and beth laughing as alessia sarcastically laughed along.
“one purple boot, two shin pads and a slider!” the blonde smiled as she handed each of them their stuff back. “where did you find these?” beth asked as she looked at her slider.
“lovie, ‘found’ them and she’d put them in her backpack” alessia explained as the three awed as a few giggles followed.
“the devil strikes again!”
367 notes · View notes
alessiasfreckles · 4 months
Text
chocolate chip cookies (alessia russo x depressed!reader)
Tumblr media
when you quit the team, feeling lost, no one knows what to do, including you. you spend days curled up in bed, alone, until you meet alessia, your replacement, who brings you out of your shell and helps you find yourself again.
warnings: depression is a big topic in this one! no mention of s/h or suicidal thoughts, just overall depression. if you're feeling depressed, don't hesitate to reach out.
-------------
When you tell the team that you’re quitting, the room goes silent. Then someone bursts out laughing. You’re not sure who, you’re staring at the ground, not wanting to look into the faces of your now former teammates. They think it’s a joke. It’s only when you turn around and leave without another word that they realise you’re being serious. 
And you are. You've already spoken to Jonas - he tried to convince you to stay, but you’d made up your mind. He told you that whilst he couldn’t guarantee there would always be a spot for you on the team, there’d always be a spot for you at the club. You nodded, thanking him quietly. You won’t be going back, you know that, but it seems unnecessary to make this harder for everyone else.
You don’t go back to the training ground after you tell everyone. You’ve already packed all your things in your car, wanting to make your departure quick and easy. On the drive home, your phone keeps buzzing with messages and calls from your former teammates. When you’re at a red light, you turn your phone off.
You decided to leave a while ago. You’ve lost any passion for the game, and when you realised that you were just going through the movements, you decided it would be best for the team if you left. You were dead weight, taking up a spot that could be used by someone else. Someone better. Someone who cares.
When you get home, you leave everything in the car, even your phone. You go inside and go straight to your room, getting into bed. you’re just so tired. It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep, feeling slightly more peaceful now that you don’t have the prospect of quitting looming ahead. 
You wake up to the sound of someone banging on your front door. Most of the day has passed, it’s getting dark outside. You lie there for a minute, waiting to see if the banging will stop, but it just gets more insistent. You sigh, dragging yourself out of bed and to the front door. When it opens, you see the faces of your teammates. Beth, Viv, Leah, Kim, Katie. The core five. They ask what’s going on, say that they’ve been trying to call you and message you all day. You walk past them to your car, get your phone out, shrug. 
“I left my phone in the car,” you say. You watch them exchange glances.
Still, you don’t want to be a bad host. Or a bad friend - if they still consider you a friend. You decide that it’s understandable if they don’t. You invite them in, and they pile onto your sofa. Leah pulls a stool in front of the sofa, telling you to sit down. You sit. Five faces stare at you, expressions ranging from confused to worried to something like anger. 
You didn’t mean to make anyone angry. 
“What’s going on?” Kim asks, her captain voice on. 
You shrug.
“Why would you quit?” Katie asks, frowning. 
I’m not good enough, I'm bringing the team down, I don’t care about playing, the team deserves better, you all deserve better, runs through your head.
You shrug.
“Y/n, is something going on?” Viv asks, her voice gentle. 
I’m tired, I don’t want to do this anymore, I just want to sleep, I wish I didn’t exist, life would be easier if I didn’t exist, I don’t understand why any of you are here, why do you care about me, I don’t care about me, I’m not worth caring about.
You shrug, then shake your head. 
“I just don’t want to play anymore,” you finally say. You’re not sure if it’s the truth or not. You loved playing, once. You loved the feeling that you got when you were on the pitch, the way it made everything else melt away. But you haven’t had that feeling in a while. When you’re on the pitch, the voice telling you you’re not good enough follows you. 
Your former teammates frown. They’re not convinced, and honestly, neither are you. You say that you’re tired, you want to sleep. They get the hint and leave, but not before each hugging you tightly, telling you to call them if you need anything. Beth and Viv promise to bring Myle around at the weekend, and Leah says she’ll come and see you tomorrow. 
They keep it up for a few weeks, but the season is starting, and you know they’re busy. You spend your days at home, curled up in bed, cocooned in a blanket. You watch tv and scroll on your phone for hours. You order the food shopping to be delivered so you don’t even have to leave the house. Someone usually visits you on their day off, and the girls message you. You go over to Beth and Viv’s place, cuddle the dogs, watch tv there instead of in bed at home. It's okay. You’re fine. You don’t feel any better, really, but it’s fine.
It starts when you’re forced to go to a movie night. Leah promises it’s just a small group of the girls, she knows you don’t want to be faced with the whole team. She tells you that there’s one new girl there, the new signing, but that she’s really nice. On the day, you think about ways to get out of it - surely Leah can’t just force you to go? 
She can and she does. She shows up at your house, tells you that she will pick you up and put you in the car if she has to. You crack a smile at the image. It’s the first time you’ve smiled in a while. Leah notices. 
The movie night is at hers. She's picked you up early, and when you get back to her place she sets you to work, chopping fruits and veggies for a snack board. The doorbell rings, the first person arriving. You expect it to be maybe Beth and Viv, who are usually pretty punctual, but it’s the new girl. Alessia. You've seen her in person a couple of times, when the team played against Manchester United last season, but you were already feeling out of it and hadn’t paid much attention to her then.
She comes in, hugs Leah and smiles at you. You smile back. She asks if there’s anything she can do to help, and Leah directs her to some meat and cheese she’s put out that needs slicing. She's been seeing charcuterie boards on instagram a lot lately and wanted to try making one.
“You mean, you wanted to get us to make one for you,” Alessia teases, and you let out a small laugh. It surprises you, and Leah, whose mouth drops open slightly. Alessia doesn’t think twice of it - why would she, she’s never really met you before. She wouldn’t know that it’s the first time anyone has made you laugh in, well, months. 
The evening goes well. It's nice to be around the girls. You don’t pay much attention to the movie, your brain feels too foggy to keep up with it. The mean voice returns, telling you that you’re just there because they feel sorry for you. You start picking at your nails. 
“I like your nail polish,” Alessia leans over and says to you quietly. She’s sat next to you on the sofa. 
“Oh, thanks,” you reply, taken aback. The nail polish is chipped and worn, remnants from Katie coming over and painting your nails a few weeks ago. 
“It's a great colour. I like having my nails done but I'm terrible at leaving them alone. I fidget too much and I'm clumsy so I usually end up breaking at least one,” she tells you, looking at her own nails. 
You nod, not saying anything. You wrack your brain, trying to think of what to say or how to act. It's been so long since you talked to anyone new that you feel like you’ve forgotten how to be normal.
“Um, you can borrow it, if you want,” you say. “The colour, I mean. I can give it to one of the girls to give to you.”
“Really? That’d be great!” she looks at you with a big smile. You feel an odd sensation in your stomach, like you’ve just had a hot drink and the warmth is trying to spread throughout your body.
You nod shyly, giving her a small smile.
After that night, she starts messaging you. The first message you write off as being about the nail polish. After all, why else would she message you? She keeps going, though. After she sends you a message thanking you for the nail polish, she mentions a book she’s reading. You’ve read it too, so you figure the polite thing to do is to ask her what she thinks of it so far. Then she asks you for recommendations. You’ve been reading a lot, lately, now that you have time. You send her a detailed list, then realise that maybe that’s too much, but you’ve sent it now. She replies with heart eyes and exclamation marks, so you think that maybe it was okay after all. 
She asks if she can come over to borrow a book you’ve told her about. After a moment of hesitation, you say yes, she can come over tomorrow afternoon, if that works. You spend the rest of the day cleaning and tidying. The next morning you find a chocolate chip cookie recipe. You used to bake a lot, but you didn’t really have time for it anymore after becoming a professional footballer, and you weren’t meant to be eating that kind of thing anyway. The thought crosses your mind as you mix the ingredients that maybe Alessia won’t want any, since most of the team eat pretty healthily. You keep mixing. It’s too late now, you might as well finish making them.
You’re nervous, waiting for her to arrive. You’re not sure why, probably just because you haven’t interacted with her alone before. You’ve put some cookies out on a plate in case she wants any, and you’ve already got the book she wants to borrow lying on the table. 
When the doorbell rings, it makes you jump. You open the door and she steps inside, immediately giving you a hug, then quickly stepping back.
“Sorry, is hugging okay? I need to get better at checking with people before I hug them,” she says apologetically.
“Hugging is okay,” you nod, and she grins and pulls you into a hug.
“Oh my god, it smells amazing in here!” she exclaims, looking around.
“I made chocolate chip cookies,” you explain, and brace yourself for rejection. “Do you want one?”
“Absolutely!” she says, and you try to hide the surprise on your face. You offer her the plate and she takes one. When she bites into it, she lets out a moan that has you blushing. “Holy shit, y/n, these are incredible! You really made these yourself?”
You feel that warmth pooling in your stomach again. You nod, smiling shyly. 
“You should be a professional baker or something, these are so so good!” she tells you, polishing off the cookie. You can’t help but smile. There are crumbs on the corners of her mouth and a smear of chocolate on her chin.
“You’ve, um, got something,” you say, pointing to your chin. “Right there. A bit of chocolate, I think.”
“Whoops,” she blushes, wiping the chocolate away with a sheepish smile.
“Oh, I have the book you wanted,” you say, figuring that she probably has things to do. 
“Trying to get rid of me so quickly?” she asks.
A pit opens up in your stomach. “No, no!” you quickly insist, but she laughs and waves you off.
“I’m just teasing,” she tells you, smiling. 
You smile back, but it’s forced. It doesn’t seem like Alessia notices, though. 
“You have a lot of books,” she says, eyeing the large bookshelf in your living room. “Have you always read a lot?”
“I used to, when I was little. I didn’t really have time to read as much when I joined the team,” you say, and wince at the mention of your leaving. She’s never brought up the fact that she essentially replaced you, and you don’t want her to.
“I’m guessing leaving the team has given you a lot more time for things like reading?” she asks, and you nod. 
“And baking,” you add, not wanting it to seem like you’ve just been sitting at home not doing anything since you left. Even if that is the truth. She doesn’t need to know that today is the first time you’ve baked in, well, years.
“True, that one is very important!” she says, taking another cookie from the plate. “Seriously, y/n, these are amazing.”
She keeps asking you things, about yourself, about books, about your life, and you don’t realise how much time has passed until you look outside to see that it’s gotten dark. She follows your gaze out of the window and jumps up.
“Shit, I didn’t realise how late it was! I really should get going,” she says apologetically.
You hold out the plate of cookies. “Want one for the road?”
The two of you message more after that. It’s weird, how easy it is to talk to her. You chalk it up to the fact that she never met you before you left. This is the only version of you she knows. She doesn’t expect anything from you.
A couple weeks later, she asks if she can borrow another book. This time she wants you to recommend something for her, and you pore over your bookshelf for hours, trying to find the perfect book for her. Once you’ve decided on one, the next task you’re faced with is what to bake this time. She didn’t mention anything about it, but after she enjoyed your cookies so much, it feels like it’d only be right to bake something again. 
This time you make pumpkin spice cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. You carefully mould little pumpkins out of marzipan to decorate the cupcakes, and you can’t help but feel a swell of pride at the look of astonishment on her face when she eats one and lets out a moan at how good it is. She keeps commenting on the little pumpkins, in awe at the fact that you made them by hand, and the warm feeling spreads throughout your body, making your fingers tingle. After she leaves, armed with a new book and two more cupcakes, you get a message from Leah, inquiring about where her cupcake is, and how come Alessia gets cupcakes but you’ve never baked anything for her, and you smile to yourself.
The days in between visits are not as good. You still spend a lot of time curled up in bed. Sometimes, you think about the future, and you usually end up falling asleep trying not to think about it, brain spiralling. 
This goes on for a few months. Every couple of weeks, Alessia visits you for a new book and some new baked goods, and every time the two of you spend a little longer talking. You both avoid the topic of you leaving the team and what you’re going to do next. You have enough money in savings that it’s not something you have to worry about, for a while at least, and thinking about it makes you want to cry, or sleep, or just not exist anymore.
One day, though, Alessia is sitting on your sofa, eating a slice of lemon cake, when she asks gently, “What are you doing, y/n?”.
The question is enough to make you burst into tears, tears that you didn’t know you’d been holding in. 
“I don’t- I don’t know,” you sob helplessly as she rushes to your side, pulling you into a hug.
“Well, what do you want to do?” she asks after you’ve calmed down a little.
The question makes you stop. You haven’t thought about that in forever. 
“All I’ve ever wanted to do is play football,” you shrug. 
“But… not anymore?” she prompts you. You can understand why she’d think that. You quit, after all.
“I don’t know. I think I do still want to play, just… not at that level. It was too much. I feel like I-” you trail off, sighing. “I feel like I lost myself. And I still don’t know where I am, or who I am. Everything just feels so hard, like it’s all so much effort, and like there’s nothing I can do to stop it all from happening, like it’s a huge wave and I’m just getting tossed around under the water, barely able to come up for air.”
She nods, not saying anything, and you feel a sudden rush of embarrassment for opening up like that.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I said all that, I-” you say, but she cuts you off.
“No, it’s okay! I asked, I want to know. And it makes sense. A friend of mine struggled with depression a lot when we were teenagers, and-”
“Wait, depression? You think I’m depressed?” you ask, confused. Alessia laughs gently, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“Oh, I’m 99% sure you’re depressed,” she says. 
“Wha- I’m not depressed,” you insist, shaking your head. “It’s not like I want to hurt myself or anything.”
“Okay, but do you ever feel like it would be easier if you didn’t exist?” she asks, and you frown. “Or, like, have you lost interest in things you were previously passionate about? Do you feel tired all the time?”
“Okay,” you say, slowly. “So, maybe I’m a little depressed.”
The mean voice at the back of your mind laughs. 
“What if I’m just being dramatic, though?” you ask. “Plus, I have no reason to be depressed. I have a good life, I have nothing to worry about.”
“Look, what if you go and see someone? A doctor, or a therapist?” she suggests, and your cheeks burn at the thought of burdening someone else with your problems.
“No, it’s fine, it’s not that serious,” you say, waving a hand. “There’s definitely more important stuff they have to deal with. I’m fine, seriously.”
She raises an eyebrow but drops the topic. She brings it up the next time she comes over though, and the next, and the next. You think about it a lot.You look stuff up online, look at social media accounts talking about people’s experiences, buy books dealing with the subject. 
The next time she comes over, you tell her you’ve made an appointment with a therapist, and she hugs you tightly. 
You start seeing each other weekly, after that. Sometimes she’ll go to yours, sometimes you’ll go to hers. She’s on a mission to help you figure out what you want, and nothing is going to stop her. She buys you baking books and equipment, goes to galleries and museums with you, watches documentaries on pretty much everything and anything the two of you can find. When you mention that you’ve been thinking about learning how to play the piano, she helps you find a teacher nearby. 
Things are looking up. You still don’t know what you want to do, but you’re feeling better. Your therapist is good, and you thank your lucky stars that you’re in a position to be able to pay for private therapy. 
When Alessia rings your doorbell, you don’t think anything of it. You’d planned for her to come over to watch a documentary she’d found about llamas (you weren’t sure what revelation you were going to have about your future from watching something about llamas, but who were you to deny her?). When you open the door, she’s smiling from ear to ear and holding a box.
“I have a surprise for you,” she says, closing the door behind her gently as she comes in.
She carefully sets the box down and opens it to reveal a small ginger kitten. It looks up at you with wide eyes and lets out a small meow, then puts its paws up on the edge of the box, looking out curiously.
“Alessia, what is this? Whose kitten is this?” you ask, dumbfounded.
“Yours?” she asks, smiling sheepishly. 
“What do you mean, mine?” 
“I mean, she’s your kitten. If you want her? Oh god, please say you want her. It’s just, you talked about having a cat when you were younger, and how much you’d like to have one again, and I figured they’re a lot lower maintenance than dogs, and-” she’s cut off by you hugging her tightly. Tears prick the corners of your eyes and you try to blink them away fiercely, still hugging Alessia. 
A small mew alerts you to the kitten, who has jumped out of the box and is rubbing her head against your leg. 
“I have her stuff in the car,” Alessia says, nodding towards the door. “I’ll just go get it?”
You nod, unable to look at anything but the tiny kitten now trying to clamber up your leg. 
You’ve been seeing your therapist for about 6 months when Alessia asks you to be her girlfriend. It’s a couple months after she got you Dorothea - Dory for short (or Dorito, occasionally), as you’d named the ginger kitten. You’re stunned, but quickly nod yes as she starts to bite her lip, looking worried at your lack of answer. You hug her, feeling her breathe a sigh of relief against you, and when she kisses you she tastes like the chocolate chip cookies you’d made earlier that day, the same recipe as the first time she’d come over. 
Your therapist has been helping you figure out what you want, now that you’re slowly regaining some of the passion you’d lost. You decide that you do still want to do something with football, just, as you’d told Alessia, not professional football. You hadn’t realised how much you’d missed having time to yourself, having other hobbies outside of your work. 
You get in contact with Jonas, who puts you in contact with some other people, and before you know it you’re back at the club. Not on the team, you've made it pretty clear that that’s not what you want. Instead, you’re spending the day at the youth program. You already know by lunch time that this is what you want to do. 
Before you know it, you’re settled in as a coach for the Academy. Your days consist of working with kids, young people who have the whole world ahead of them. You still have bad days sometimes, where it feels like you can’t get out of bed. On days like that Dory cuddles up next to you in bed, and Alessia holds you close. She moves in after you get the job, claiming it makes sense, since you’re always either at her place or she’s at your place anyway. She insists that she’s still very much a dog person, but you catch her asleep on the sofa one evening, with Dory curled up on her lap, and you smile.
463 notes · View notes