#something normal to want and possible to achieve

[imsopopfly]

“I’m gonna get a good grade in baby, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.”

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

[tea-and-secrets]

i’m thinking of making a simple ttrpg based off an incredibly funny situation me and my friends got in

so i always carry my bag of dice around, and after everyone finishes eating during lunch hour, me and my friends like to “play dice”, which is just what we call it when we play extremely simplified dnd. only three of us actually genuinely know how to play dnd 5e and none of us want to take the time to explain it, so we just roll the d20 for every action.

well. a ‘friend’ who normally doesn’t participate decided to join today and exclusively decided to invent various chain restaurants in an attempt to be memey and also form a restaurant monopoly. “mcdonald’s quick tavern”, “sub of way”, “wendolyn d’s” etc. and all other three players (i was the “dm”) immediately dedicated the rest of the session to trying to ruin her life.

to be completely clear, ‘friend’ is sort of an asshole who never stops making dick jokes. last time we played dice before this, when my friend was DMing, she rolled to “stroke her meat” (none of us were exactly pleased). all of us are extremely tired of it but we don’t want to kick her out. so “ruining her life” in-game ranged from setting her restaurants on fire to killing her outright. unfortunately she had absolutely insane luck, which is how she rolled high enough to create the restaurants in the first place. she always rolled high and everyone else almost always rolled too low to kill her. after she attempted to assassinate two of the players, one of them managed to kill her. everyone cheered.

i proceeded to draw fan art of this, and captioned the art “3 CRIMINALS VS. 1 CEO” and now i actually kind of want to make this a kind of game we could run? i think it’d be fun considering the interests of our friend group

the general idea is that you need a minimum of three players: two criminals, one ceo. you can raise the number of players as much as you want; there should be roughly 2-4 criminals for one ceo. the goal for both teams is to destroy the others. in more rp terms, the general premise is that you are one of two people: a ceo who’s flattened countless people to achieve your fortune, or a random guy with a huge grudge against said ceo, for any reason. go try and fuck em up!

some mechanics:

all players would have “reputation” stats. all criminals start with a reputation of 1, while ceos start at 3. the higher the reputation, the more genuine publicity you have- which makes it harder to commit crimes. if a ceo reaches a high enough reputation, i think maybe 7, then the crimes committed to establish their famous brand will become public, shattering their reputation and ruining their career. if a criminal reaches a 3 reputation, however, they’ve got enough publicity to get caught. both parties must work to maintain their reputation, but criminals have to work harder. each party can work to increase the other’s reputation through media like journalism, and decrease their own reputation by laying low after doing something big or hiding their identity when doing unlawful actions (like arson.)

the criminals can work to eliminate the ceo by any means possible. they can go the route of exposing the ceo’s crimes, but they could ALSO do the much more fun route of committing ✨crimes✨. however, the more crimes and less thought put into them, the likelier it is that their reputation will increase; as such, it’s ideal for them to cover their tracks or at least put on a mask. unless they do something REALLY drastic, i think the ceo would have to actively pursue targeting the criminals via journalism, but if the criminals didn’t, say, put on a mask or wait until night to burn down the wendy’s, it would be MUCH easier to track them down, have a paper published about the innocent wendy’s being burnt down, and wait for them to be arrested.

the criminals have a resource limit. since action would be turn-based, i think that there would be two “levels” of crimes, organized by how much energy they would take. maybe it’d be good to utilize a sort of spell slot reminiscent system for this? like you start with 2 big crimes and 3 small crimes, and you get 1 small crime every other turn and 1 big crime every 3 turns.

you can get dnd style advantages by being very organized and disadvantages by being relentlessly pursued by the other team. for example, if every criminal has spent the last three turns making attempts on the ceo’s life, i’d say it’d be fair to give the ceo disadvantage on PR- they’re being fucking hunted, that’d fuck up anyone’s mental health. on the other hand, if a ceo spends 4 turns compiling evidence to paint a very convincing picture of a criminal as, well, a criminal, i’d say they get advantage for their paper to succeed in getting the criminal arrested.

the game ends either when a ceo has their reputation shattered and their livelihood destroyed, or the criminals are all jailed. i know it’s a little biased towards the criminals but like. actually i don’t really have an excuse for that. i do think it could be fun playing as a ceo as well though.

.

[miniagula]

the lovely thing abt Ragatha's predicament is that this is technically everything she wanted. pomni's getting along with EVERYONE and jax found someone he can be pleasantly candid with. but it's not her. pomni did what she couldn't and managed to break the ice AND GENUINELY SINCERELY CONNECT with the guy NO ONE CAN STAND without even trying, and jax's become friends with—not the person who's been trying to make nice with everyone from jump—but the woman they both barely know. and she should be happy abt this! as the self-assigned mediator this should be everything she's wanted for the others, but It Isn't and i just KNOW it's driving her mad

[mentallyillmindmeld]

Friend pointed at two crows hopping around near where we were parked and said “literally us” letting me know I have a good grade in friendship

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Quick silly little question - buying a comic enthusiast a first-edition comic as an apology for standing him up like three times is a totally normal suuuuuper platonic not-romantic-at-all thing to do, right? Asking for DS Jamie Winter.

[drystem]

ive been Centipeded

[lawboymagicshow]

Sam who knows every hunter they have ever met has a tragic backstory meets a married couple who hunts

So how did you two get into hunting 😇 with the expression of someone asking how you became an math teacher

[bcrncoldx]

"It's something new for us, isn't it? Staying put for once." It was a welcome change that allowed their lives to feel a little more normal. Smiling softly at her, he nodded. "When I'm not at the hospital I'll be here to help. I'm so proud of what you've achieved with the business, Es, I want to make sure that it's as easy for you as possible."

"And I don't mind staying as long as you stay by my side, my darling. That's all I need, truth be told. You and your beautiful presence" she told him before she cupped his face in her hands. "Ah so you are going to help me with the store?" Esme knew that he would. He always wanted to help her and support her in every way possible. That was one of the many reasons why she loved him.

[akjzsd]

So far I think you’re still winning the monster can challenge, so here’s your prize.

👑

If another entry tops you I’ll have to take it back though.

oh lmao fr? i didnt think it was that big but hell yeah

[funkyfreshfemme]

So awkward when someone comes into your house to fix something. I want to be a good host and make you fill welcome but you are here to do a job and probably don’t want me hovering.

[nighttbound]

Pierre: Oh nevermind. I am winning at Women.

[blissandtell]

Oh my GOD yes give me back my BUTTONS AND KNOBS

nobody:

the most obnoxious idiot on the planet: "what if we replaced the buttons with a touch interface"

[heterodox-heterographer]

new drug discovered: ao3 commenters who think ur AU is cool and are excited to see more worldbuilding

[willosword]

okay i like this waaayyy better im very glad they're actually showing us how mark is compartmentalizing all this

[persbaderse]

he's studying. he wants to get a good grade in being gay

WHY. does the book say twink on it. hello. am i reading this right

[dwemer-osha]

When mutuals reblog my post and I know I got a good grade in taste in posts <3