#sooga sucks at lying

[lordsooga]

Ayy let’s go! I managed to finish this in time for the last day of Linktober: Free Day!

Koh and Sooga are spending some time together playing switch. I ran a poll on twitter to decide which game they should be playing but then ended up making them all anyway (ID under the cut)

[ID: The first image shows Master Kohga and Sooga lounging on their bed in the Yiga hideout. Yiga banners, bananas, pillows, and Sooga’s sword are scattered throughout the room. Kohga’s lying on his stomach, frowning in concentration at his switch, kicking his legs behind him. Sooga lounged on his elbow next to him, holding up a corner of his sheet mask to watch Kohga play.

The rest of the images show four pairs of two gifs. It shows various games being play on the switch. The first of each pair shows Kohga’s chibi head in the corner, providing commentary and the second shows an identical gif without.

The first of the gifs shows a chibi version of Master Kohga on the screen of the switch. He jumps up and spins around, saying “Master Koga!!! Now prepare yourself!” Kohga in the corner comments “Now that’s a man.

The next pair of gifs shows a redraw of a cutscene from Super Monkey Ball 2 as bananas are being sucked into the air and into Dr. Badboon’s blimp. Kohga commentates that “Maybe I should try that.”

The next pair show a redrawn screen shot from Age of Calamity. Sooga’s back faces the screen and Kohga stands behind him with a flicked wrist. Sparkles twinkle around Sooga’s nice ass. Kohga commentates “Lookin’ good, Soogz~” looking smugly down at Sooga’s chibi head in the corner who blushes through his sheet mask and replies “Mast Kohga, please...”

The last pair of gifs show Master Kohga playing Animal Crossing New Horizons. In the foreground is Elvis, a lion villager that is king themed. He looks nervous, sweating. The focus of the shot changed to focus on Kohga’s character standing right behind him. He’s holding an axe, laughing evilly. Kohga in the corner commentates “No monarchy allowed,” looking angry. \endID]

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

OMG sorry to request again seconds later, but I just saw the Sheikah slate ask. Could we see Kohga just... continously sending Sooga dirty texts and pictures during a dinner with the gang or something? Until Sooga's all "we gotta go NOW" and drags Kohga off to make good on those texts??

Canon use of the slate;*tracking towers, mapping areas, stopping time*

MY use of the slate;*sending nudes*

"Dorephan, really good to meet you, big guy!"

Kohga waved up at Dorephan. Him and Sooga were invited to dinner, not by Mipha, but by the king himself apparently. Dorephan nodded from his spot on the throne.

"Kohga, was it? Lovely to meet you. My children talk about you so often, I had to get to know you a bit more! You and...Dooga?"

"Sooga, your highness."

"Right right. Sidon, do tell the chefs that company is here."

"Yes father. I call dibs sitting next to Sooga by the way!"

Sidon dashed off into the kitchen, and Mipha chuckled, clinging to Kohga's side.

"It's wonderful that you've accepted Father's invitation, Kohga. He has been dying to meet you. Please, sit here with me. If you don't mind Sooga being away from you."

"Oh hows he gonna survive, the poor guy?"

Kohga chuckled. He sat next to Mipha, Sooga sat at the far end (with Sidon quickly joining him), and king Dorephan in the middle of them. A Zora soldier (handsome devil, if you ask Kohga. Real nice looking teeth), served everyone a nice healthy cup of wine, with Dorephan raising his own glass a bit.

"An honor to have you both join the family. I was looking forward to having my future son in law here, but-"

"Father!"

She hid her blushing face in her face, making everyone chuckle. While every man at the table was different, they had one thing in common; love for Mipha. Dorephan gave a good, hearty laugh.

"I tease, my daughter! Once Sidon finds someone to wed, I'll be the same!"

Sidon, practically giddy, grinned over at his sister.

"Has he seen the armor you made for him?"

"Not...quite. Still adding finishing touches. I'm...a little worried about it, honestly."

Kohga found the whole conversation cute, but unless he heard a 'he said yes', he found himself not very interested in the conversation. He was WAY more interested in Sooga and Sidon. Those two were chatting it up in between Dorephan and Mipha's speaking, and it reminded Kohga of the time Sidon let out all of his horny frustration on him. Ugh. Now he was DAMN horny just thinking about it.

Bored at this point, Kohga pulled out his sheikah slate, starting to mess with it. It was considered the same as pulling out a book at the table, so many didn’t seem to mind when he used it when he was bored. He scrolled through his pictures, and found one of himself. He did like to take a good selfie here and there. Looking at Sooga across the table, he grinned, and sent it to Sooga. It lit up at his waist immediately, and Sooga held the conversation while pulling it up. Look at this sap, smiling so giddily at a selfie of him. Even if it was a DAMN good selfie. He even managed to respond with a ‘<3’, which was even cuter.

“What else what else…”

Kohga mumbled to himself. He gave the occasional nodding towards Mipha (he listened to her for the most part, but this seemed much more important), before he found another picture. Another selfie, this time with his mask slightly askew, and his tongue sticking out between two of his fingers. THAT one made poor little Sooga’s wine get stuck in his throat, and he coughed a bit, but otherwise kept his composure. He always did like his mouth. He clearly didn’t know how to respond, choosing to continue his chat with Sidon. Kohga didn’t like being ignored, so he shot him a message.

‘If I send you something, respond, Sooga. You know I don’t like being ignored.’

Sooga read over the message for a moment, before forcing himself to respond.

‘I apologize, I just wasn’t expecting a suggestive picture. I will respond from now on.’

‘Good. Shark boy is cute, but last I checked, you were bananas about ME’

‘I am, I swear. He just keeps trying to look’

‘So? Let him look. You guys ARE super cute together. Here, let me give you something to show him’

Kohga pulled up a picture of him eating a banana in a...not appropriate way, if you wanna put it how Sooga would. You wanna put it how Kohga would, it was a picture of him stuffing his mouth full of banana, having the end pressed against his cheek. It was a picture that EASILY said he was asking for it. Sooga was hiding his mouth over his hand, melting in his seat. Kohga tried not to laugh. He knew no one could suck dick better than him, and BOTH knew that Sooga knew this.

‘You want that when we get home? Wanna just sit back in our cozy bed and let me suck that pretty cock of yours?’

“Well, Kohga?”

Kohga lifted his head up to Mipha, who was clearly saying something to him. He put the slate down for a second, shaking his head.

“Sorry, I was talking about something super important, what was it?”

“Oh, we were wondering if blue was the right color for Link’s armor.”

“Oh definitely, great contrast to your own colors. I say keep it.”

That seemed to please Mipha enough, as she clapped her hands a bit, and continued to talk to her father. Kohga went back to his slate, just in time to see Sooga’s message.

‘Master Kohga, please, we’re in public’

Ugh. Such a buzzkill. Always with the manners and being a good guest. It was sweet, but Kohga REALLY wanted to poke at Sooga. He was trying SO hard to just sip wine and eat his bread, trying to look good for Kohga.

‘You’re trying to tell ME what to do, Sooga?’

‘No! No! Never!’

‘You know I hate that. So, you’re gonna get a lesson. I want you to put your hand on fish stick’s thigh. Under the table. That is a command’

Sooga was just DYING. Kohga was chatting him up, and without using his voice, he was seducing poor little Sooga. He hesitated, but as per usual, a command was a command. So, he slid his hand up Sooga’s thigh, lightly clenching his leg. Sidon seemed confused for a minute, before laughing.

“Sooga! I had no idea you missed me and the domain so much!”

Sidon’s bubbly personality made the whole thing seem inconspicuous, and it was hilarious to the ever blushing Sooga. Such casual flirting between them, all while Kohga was saying he’d suck him off right fucking now.

‘Good boy, Sooga. You know, I could take a video of it. Of me sucking your cock, of me drooling all over your nuts-right till you cum in my mouth. And we can send it over to Sidon, see what he thinks about it. How does that sound? How badly do you want my lips on your cock?’

Suddenly Sooga put the slate away, and stood up. Kohga thought he somehow offended him, when Sooga walked up to him, and hoisted him over his shoulder. All three of the zora looked at Sooga curiously, and Kohga tried not to laugh at Sooga’s attempt to lie on the fly.

“I apologize. We uh, just recalled we had an important meeting to attend to. I do hope you’ll forgive me.”

He was about to turn, when Sidon’s interest made him jump up a bit.

“Oh what was it?! Care to tell us?”

“Yeah Sooga, just WHAT was that meeting we forgot?”

Poor little Sooga. He floundered for a moment, before pulling something RIGHT out of his ass.

“Banana problems.”

Mipha cocked her head to the side.

“Banana..problems?”

“Yes. Yiga things, as I’m sure you’ll understand. King Dorephan, excuse my rudeness, we simply must do this another time.”

Sooga didn’t let anyone else speak before he turned the corner, and poofed. They were back in the clan, and right when Kohga realized that, he just could NOT stop laughing.

"BANANA PROBLEMS, SOOGA."

"I am good at MANY things. Lying is not one of them, especially under pressure."

Sooga opened the door to their room, locking the door behind them, before finally setting Kohga down. Kohga chuckled, hand roaming till he cupped the slight bulge between his legs. Excited boy.

"You've got LOTS of pressure, poor boy. Lay down, let's take care of you~"

Kohga didn't wait, practically throwing Sooga onto the bed. He looked up at Kohga as he crawled onto him, being firm as he parted those big, pretty legs of his. Sooga's grip on the sheets was so desperate and needy, it was cute.

"W-wait, don't you want to record-"

"Not yet. First one is for me, and me alone. He gets to see you all nice and loose~"

He loved this big, stupid man, and his big, stupid body